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The big man held you, who was much smaller than him because he was big."What is it, my love?" his beefy boy hair and cape swayed in the wind."It's-I was just thinking, isn't this wrong Gawain? You're married, after all." You bury your head deeper into his large chest muscles."Ha! That's what's been bothering you? My wife had her turn at the beefcake buffet!" he exclaimed, "I mean, let someone else have a chance at all this meat, you know?" he said quieter, putting his large gorilla hand over your hair. You blushed and looked up at his shining blue eyes. You grabbed his fat cheeks and kissed him. His meat expanded far beyond its limits. It was INSANE how vascular it was. You gasped in shock and horror."What's this?" you say. He does not respond, instead, he thrusts his longsword inside you with the force of a thousand armies. It feels as divine as the body of Christ."!!!------------G...Gawain..." his name gargles in the back of your throat, but like a person suffering from constipation, you could not force it out. He puts his meaty index finger to your mouth, shushing you like a mother to her child. He rips out his meat with the same force it put it in with, and turns away from you. His meat rocket still prepared for blast off."Gawain, what's the matter?" You sneak up behind him and wrap your arms around his broad chest. It heaves under you, and you can feel that he is trembling."I'm sorry, y/n. I can't do this." He avoids eye contact with you."Why not?" you ask gently, "you can tell me." he relaxes a bit before tensing up again."Performance issues." Is all he says before peeling your arms off him and running off. You looked at him. You hated to see him leave, but you loved to watch him go.
MEANWHILE
Thanos stared menacingly at the crystal ball in front of him."All of it is going according to plan," he put his hands on the ball, "marvelous!" he exclaimed, crushing it in his hands.
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"What is it, Dark Lord?" asked Gawain. He was kneeling in front of Thanos. He was wondering what you were doing, and if you were mad at him for leaving so quickly. He could never tell you the true reason he had to leave was because he was summoned by his mad King. You were very understanding when it came to his knightly duties, but he doubted even you could stomach the idea of him serving Thanos."Kill Y/n, boy." Was Thanos' decree. Gawain lifted his bowed head in shock."MY Lord, why?" Gawain tried to keep his cool, but against his will, his hand clenched into a fist at the thought of you dying by his hand. Thanos had surely noticed that."DO NOT QUESTION MY AUTHORITY, BOY!!!" His bellowing almost burst Gawain's eardrums. Ow, Gawain thought, this totally hurts. Thanos walked up to Gawain and pulled his head up to make eye contact with him. "Kill Y/n, or die yourself," he threw Gawain to the floor, but not before scorching his face with the infinity gauntlet. Gawain lied there holding his hand to his burn. He had made up his mind.
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LATER
Gawain had found himself walking to your front door with a bouquet of flowers in hand. They weren't your favorite, just what was on sale at the local grocery store. He hoped they would be enough to make amends and satiate your fury when he revealed the truth to you. He rung your doorbell, and waited a solid 5 minutes for you to open the door. When you had finally slammed it open, he put away his phone that he was playing Farmville on and offered you the flowers."I'm sorry," was the first thing he told you. This immediately made you suspicious. Gawain had never apologized to you before. He also forgot you were allergic to pollen. Regardless, you grabbed the flowers from his hand, and gave them a look. They were already withering. You set them down on your table anyways and told your man to get in.By the time you had prepared some tea for the both of you, Gawain had made himself at home on your couch and was rambling on about... something. You really could not tell. He was going way too fast. You set the tea down in front of you two, being careful to avoid Gawain's shoes and legs that he had draped on your coffee table. You didn't even like tea that much, but Gawain refused to drink anything else, claiming water was too bland, so you always had some in your house. You took a sip, burning your mouth on the hot liquid. You could think of another hot liquid you'd like to have in your mouth. If you know what I mean ;) (I mean semen.)"Slow down. Thanos told you what?" You had stopped listening around the time he told you he didn't actually have Erectile Dysfunction. No shit."He told me to kill you!" he ejaculated, "and he burnt my beautiful face!" he showed you the pink mark on his cheek. It was the type of burn you get when you are a kid and your mom tells you not to put your hand on the stove but you think you know better so you do anyway. It wasn't really that bad, but how dare that Thanos lay a hand on him!? In addition, he was going to kill you, so that was bad."Oh, you poor baby," you comfortingly stroke the cheek he was burnt on."You're hurting me." Gawain swats your hand away. He gets the feeling you are mocking him."My sweet sweetheart," you slap a Spiderman Band-Aid on his face, "if you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!""Ow!" Screams Gawain, falling to the floor in agony, "my face!" he twitches like a dying spider."Shut up!" you kick his spasming body, "you're the one you who's gonna kill me!" you kick him harder."No, no, my love, you don't understand!" Gawain shrieks, "I'm not gonna do it okay!? I won't---!" you stop kicking him."Oh, good," You sit down on the floor next to him, "but if you don't kill me, how are you going to explain to Thanos how I'm still alive?" you pull his head into your lap and comb through his hair with your fingers. It's softer than the feathers of Icarus' wing mechanism. He looks up at you and smiles. You wonder at what point in the plan you will be forced to sacrifice yourself for the greater good of the world.The next time you see each other, he is with Thanos again.
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Gawain bows in front of Thanos, apologizing and sweating profusely. Thanos sees you walk in. Your mouth opens in shock."Gawain? What's going on here?" you ask, "are you cheating on me? With him?" this, for whatever reason, was the conclusion you reached. Gawain frowned for a second before attempting to reassure you."No! I would never cheat on someone who was still alive!" he holds his hands out in front of him, "I'm not that kind of guy!" you now frown,"Then explain---""Boy, kill Y/n before I kill you both." Thanos put his hand to his forehead in an attempt to look fed-up, but in reality, he was covering his red face. Was... Thanos blushing? Oh my. Gawain knew he had no choice but to raise his sword against you lest Thanos take matters into his own hands. Gawain lifted up his sword, did a shrugging motion the best he could, and brought it down. You dodged out the way, but only narrowly avoided the blow."Gawain...! Why are you doing this...?" you ask your man in between gasps for breath. He won't stop chasing you and trying to strike you down. You didn't mind really, you liked feeling wanted, even if he wanted to kill you, but you, for the life of you, couldn't understand why he would want to kill you despite hearing Thanos tell him to. You were a bit stupid like that (don't worry about it.) Gawain staggered towards you."I can't... Y/n... Either you die," he swallowed, really taking his time, "or we both do..." he prepared his sword for one last strike, and you threw yourself away from it, right into Thanos.
"Hey you know how you have the Infinity Gauntlet 2?" Gawain asked you, putting down his cup
of tea and motioning you to pour some more.
"You mean the one I won in a raffle? Yeah, why?" you filled his cup and then some, causing it to overflow and burn his legs that he still had on your table. Served him right.
"Use it to kill him." Gawain said through gritted teeth, ripping off his leg armor and the lower part of his pants. The tea had soaked through and was continuing to burn him. He didn't take off his shoes (New Balance Men's 696 Tennis Shoes Size 12) though, they were so caked in dirt it prevented the tea from touching him.
"Oh, okay. You're right, that is a good plan."
"Infinity Gauntlet 2!" You screamed, using your Infinity Gauntlet 2 to tear the face off of Thanos. You two knew that the underground layer Thanos was located in was not Gawain's preferred battlefield, so you guys made up your minds to have you be the one to defeat the wretched titan."2? What the hell?!" Thanos screamed, only he didn't because he didn't have a face. You had thought you had won, but just as you were about to strike down Thanos once and for all...
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Thanos had begun laughing, which sounded like he was being smothered with a pillow, and tore open the front of his head with his hand. As he was laughing madly, you spotted what would allow him to make noise. He had another Infinity Gauntlet!"What is it, Y/n? Are you shocked that you are not the only with another Gauntlet?" he asked, still laughing to himself, "like yours, this one can reverse any move made by its predecessor, and the original is hopeless to stop it," he monologues, "this is... the Infinity Gauntlet... 3!!!" you and Gawain gasp."You..." Gawain whispered in disbelief."With this, I will be unstoppable!" Thanos holds his Infinity Gauntlet 3 with his other hand, "Gawain will be mine forever~! Now die, Y/n!" he fires a bolt of pure energy at you. It's too fast for you to react, but Gawain jumps in front of you, taking the blow."Gawain!" both you and Thanos scream."How could you?!" you shout at Thanos, "you loved him too!" at that, Thanos' expression darkened."I love no one." He says, and warps time and space around your head, instantly killing you due to having a very important body part exposed to outer space. At least, he would have killed you, if you didn't sneeze at the last second. Your nose was feeling seriously irritated. You wondered why, but your thoughts were interrupted by the source of it."Fear not, friends, I, Mr. Merlin have arrived." It was your buddy, Merlin, standing there in all his flowery glory! You rubbed your nose only to sneeze again. Damn Merlin, you wish he wouldn't cover himself in flowers all the time, it makes him even harder to be around than he all ready is."Merlin!" you shout excitedly, going up to him before the pollen throws you back."Mer...ghn..." Gawain mumbles on the floor, half-dead."It seems you two have found yourselves in quite a predicament! While I, Merlin, am usually content to sit back and watch, I cannot ignore my dear friends cries for help!""We didn't---" you say."Shut up," Merlin says just a bit less cheerfully, "the people have spoken!" Merlin continues, "Thanos! Your reign of terror on this world has gone on for far too long, my Master will defeat you once and for all!" you didn't hold Merlin's command seals, or ever have a contract with him, he was just a bit of a nutter."'My Master will defeat you?' Merlin... Aren't you gonna fight too?" you ask your friend. You could use the extra manpower now that Gawain was incapacitated."No! I'm getting out of here as soon as I can! Mr. Merlin isn't good at fighting, he's a wizard, you see~!" Merlin spits out rapidly, referring to himself in the third person, "but before I leave, come, Y/n. Come here and give your friend Merlin a hug!" He pulls you close, and no doubt tries to cop a feel. You're too busy blowing your nose on his robes to give one though. Before you can pull away, Merlin whispers something in your ear. This will make up for the disadvantage of not having Merlin there to fight with you. You nod, and a grin breaks out across your face."Once you ladies are done making out, I have some ass-kicking for you!" Thanos yelled, going absolutely insane at all the distractions. He wanted to kill you right away so he could fix up Gawain and lie together with him for the rest of time. He couldn't stand it any longer, so he fired energy from his gauntlet with an aim as indiscriminate as God's love for his children."Looks like that's my cue to leave!" Merlin waved, "bye Gawain, Master~" he dissipated, leaving flower petals in his wake. At this point, your eyes were near swollen shut, and your nose seemed to have sprung a leak, but you still had to concentrate on beating Thanos. You dodged the energy as well as you could, trying to find an opening in Thanos' near impenetrable defense. It was a hopeless dream really, he left no openings. As you were about to give up, collapse to the floor exhausted, you heard Gawain whisper something you couldn't make out. Only once you felt an enormous wave of heat did you realize what it was."Excalibur Galatine...!" Gawain bought down his Noble Phantasm upon Thanos. It had little damaging effect on him, but it made him stop firing, so you took the chance to use the boon Merlin had bestowed upon you."YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!" Thanos said as he saw you pull out the Infinity Gauntlet 2000 Redux. Your friend Merlin really came through for you this time, what you thought was him just being a creep earlier, was actually him slipping you the Infinity Gauntlet 2000 Redux! You steel yourself for the knock back, and blow a hole in the universe in the general direction of Thanos."FUCKING BITCHES MAN" Thanos yelled as he fell into the bad soup of the not-universe to his death.
As soon as you could confirm Thanos' death and add it to your kill count, you rushed towards Gawain.
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"ARE YOU DEAD??!" You screamed at your beau. He didn't respond right away, and at first you were worried he actually had kicked it. Tears began to fall from your eyes, leaking down onto his face. It was then that he place his hand on your face."Do you really have such little faith in me?" he asked weakly, wiping the tears from your eyes, "I would never leave so soon... Especially not when I still have debts to collect." You were confused."Gawain, what do you mean?" What did he mean debts? Who could possibly owe him, and what?"Please... Y/n... I am in no condition myself..." he started, "I lent Thanos $120, that bastard still hasn't paid up." He spit up blood."Gawain...!" You yelled, trying to look at his abdomen to find the source of his bleeding."Please..." you had no choice. You went over to where Thanos was standing before he got sucked into the void, and conveniently found his wallet. You checked through all the pouches, but couldn't find more than $70 and a Subway gift card. Still, you brought it over to him. He checked the money, and frowned when it wasn't enough to fully pay back the debt. He then saw the '50' on the top of the gift card, and smiled bitterly."I hope... It isn't used..." he said as he closed his eyes."Gawain? Gawain!? Wake up!" you shook him, "Gawain!!!" you shouted, anguished, but it was no use. You laid your fingers on his neck to find nothing. He had no pulse. "Gawain, don't you dare leave me!" you shook him, "Gawain..." you said quietly, it was then that you caught a glimpse of the marks on your hand from the Holy Grail war. You hadn't used any of them. It was never necessary, he had the will and strength to follow all your commands without them. You had managed to claim the grail without the use of a single one. You remembered a priest one of your friends told you about once, he used his Command Spells as a magic crest to temporarily boost his magecraft. You took a deep, shaky breath and reached into the hole in Gawain. It was your only choice."Ur......Ughn...." Gawain coughed up blood into your eyes, but your tears washed it out. You prayed that it would work. Slowly, you withdrew your hand, flesh and organs chasing after it. You had successfully reconstructed Gawain's internal organs with just two Command Spells. "Y/n," Gawain said, his eyes were shining, "you did it." He coughed again, more blood came spewing out of him. It was just residue left in his lungs, not a symptom of an active wound. Tears spilled out your eyes."Gawain!" you gave him a hug. He returned it, rubbing your hand. He could feel the single Command Spell left pulsate under his fingers."So, what are you going to do with it?" he asked you, staring into your eyes. You smiled, happier than you had ever been. Your life had been so dull before Gawain had come into it. Everyone who said love was blind had never seen your man."Kiss me." the final Command Spell on your hand disappeared, and you two went back to what you were doing before Thanos interrupted you.
FROM A DISTANCE
"Ah. I love it when a Romance works out!" a man petted his pet beast that had fur strangely similar to his hair, "and in no small part thanks to me! Isn't that right, Fou?" he asked the animal. It said nothing, but instead bit him and ran off.