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I"You look beaten."
It was not a question, and it hurt in its clear wording. Words that echoed back and forth in his head, although they were not spoken to him by a voice, nor received with his ears. Kylo Ren closed his eyes and saw – snow. That peaceful landscape that had helped him sleep so long ago.It wasn't long ago, actually, but it felt like it was. Before Snoke had used his weakness to lure Rey into a trap. Before what they both had envisioned had come true. Before he had duelled his former master. Another trick played on him, for Skywalker had not really been there.
The last of the resistance had escaped.He felt her gentle smile, following those three words. But no touch.
"Where were you", he thought, adressing her soundlessly. "You've abandoned me!", anger arose.
Suddenly, the landscape in his mind was replaced with a face, her face. She used a vague reflection to do so. "I haven't. You locked me out. And even without Snoke, I would never force myself upon you."
Snoke. He had betrayed Kylo, had played him. Not anymore.
"You do it now."
"I don't. Listen to yourself. You called for me."
That was true, he realized.
"What do you need", she asked when he kept silent, mind drifting to nowhere really.
"Come", he finally said. "Snoke is dead", he added.
She slowly shook her head. "I know", Aryn said.
Kylo Ren realized she also knew how. She must have felt it. All of it.
"I need you", he said, and almost thought there was a grin of mockery in her eyes. But there wasn't. It was true, though. He needed her. In this quiet, lost moment on Crait, he suddenly needed her. He craved to fade, craved to be drained, craved to lose himself like he had back on Bespin, an eternity ago it seemed - - The connection was gone. From one moment to the next, it seemed, there was nothing but empty space where her mental presence had been. He tried to reach out again, conscious this time, but he wasn't able to reestablish it.
Then Hux stepped into the room for report.
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IIAryn had broken the connection before his drifting emotions could reach her too intensely. She blocked off everything that might help him reopen that door. Worried, she got up, throwing the clean iced plate she had used down the path.When Pila asked her reasons for packing, she paused.
"He's going to come for me. Not now, but soon. But he is not to find Callim. I have to leave."
The droid hummed, hovering up and down nervously.
"If you wish, yes. I would love to have you with me. There's an island we may be hidden at. If noone comes to claim it." Luke was gone, and of course she had felt it. She wondered if Kylo also knew.
Pila wondered about Ren's motive and further plans.
"I'm sure he doesn't know yet. Wouldn't have given me that desperate puppy look, if he did." She looked up, out the window.
Callim had been her haven for so long. And until today, she had trusted Kylo Ren to keep his promise. Not anymore, she thought. Too much had changed within a day's time. Who was to know how his future would unwind now?
"All new cards on his table", she murmured. This could go all directions. But Callim was not to be one of those, she decided.When Aryn left Callim, she made sure there were no leads left to the lost planet. Pila and herself would be able to find it, but the information would be safe from extraction, and the connection with Kylo Ren, tied to her personally, would not help him find it, for it was left to be lost once again.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
IIIThey didn't choose the island. Aryn had thought about it and finally decided it would not have been appropriate for her to be there. She wouldn't risk it to be found either, and maybe, after the Outer Rim, it might become the resistance's last resort one day. She would leave it be, untouched, and unharmed.She finally introduced Pila to an old friend – her oldest, nowadays, and uninvolved. Then she went ahead to Kylo Ren, the new Supreme Leader of the First Order, to see what his destiny would look like, how his story would unfold, and to see whether her presence could do any good to this torn, desperate, unknowingly lost creature. And prevent the galaxy from burning. "I am here."Her voice in his mind was calm, and neutral, stating a fact. He rose to his feet, seeking an image. He had become even more powerful since their very first encouter, but still he could only see with her eyes when she allowed him to. As she did now. He saw her hands in cufflinks. She let her eyes linger on them long enough to make sure he saw them. They were tight, holding her wrists together, scraping her skin needlessly. Slowly, she let her gaze wander. Stormtrooper boots and uniform, helmet. Next to the first, more of the same kind. "I am here for Lord Ren", she said, and mirrored her words in her mind for him. "He is awaiting me.""And who are you?" That was Hux, arrogant as ever.Kylo smiled to himself as she obviously showed no fear. Not even her heartbeat sped up."His guest. Unarmed."Impatiently, he cut off any further actions by Hux, ordering her to be brought before him immediately.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
IV"You came." Relieve radiated from him as he spoke.
"I think I kind of promised to, some time ago." Her eyes took in the room quickly. They were the only people in here. And she was still cuffed.
In the silence, suddenly the memory of their last talk caught him. Anger and shame, frustration – and need, they all welled up at once. Aryn could feel and see it, and forced herself to not take a step backwards. He was unstable, uncontrolled. Desperation and murder at the same time. Unsafe.Her cuffs clicked and fell, releasing soar wrists. Kylo Ren had back emotional control, for now. He stared at the reddened skin.
"No harm done", she said calmly. A gentle smile came to life in her eyes. That same smile. Those same eyes that had dissected him when they had first met. They didn't do it now, and he felt they didn't need to. She already knew.
"Why", he uttered and wasn't sure what he meant. Why did she come? Why did she let herself be cuffed like this? Why was she so calm and gentle, while he couldn't get a grasp on what turned him since - -
The world stopped. She hadn't judged him before, she didn't now. There was no anger at her, only at himself. No shame because of her. No frustration. No need.
"I am lost", he whispered, and nobody ever had seen his face like that before. He was about to break apart.
She stepped closer, laying her hand to his neck and pulling his face down to hers, forehead to forehead. In a fit of desperation, he pulled her into an embrace, burying his face into her neck, shaking like a child.Aryn held him, one hand on his back, the other on the back of his head, buried in tousled hair. She held him until the shaking stopped, and his breathing normalized.
"Take me", he said against her neck, lifting his head to look at her. "Take me." I need to let go.
"Oh dear", she said quietly, laying her hand to his cheek.
"Please", he added soundlessly.
Her face was all gentle care, when she let him sit down slowly. Her hand never left his cheek, when she guided him again, forehead to forehead.
"Close your eyes", she said, doing so herself. Creating a peaceful memory of Callim's snowy landscape, she helped him into a dreamless sleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
VHe was in no condition to have her taste him, so Aryn only guided him to sleep. She looked at him thoughtful, as he did.
So much had happened in so little time. So much more lay ahead. Decisions had been made and were to be made, and the new Supreme Leader of the First Order would face even more conflict within, she guessed.
So lost, she realized. "Why have you come?" They sat in silence until now.
"You would have come searching."
He realized it was true and shut his mouth before dementing. He nodded, slowly.
"And the anger withing you would have burned worlds before you would have found me."
Kylo lowered his gaze. It was true also.After a while, he slowly raised his hand, reaching out to her, offering his wrist without a word.
This time she took it, holding his right with both hands, planting her fingers to the right spot. He closed his eyes and let go.
She could feel him giving in before she even started. He practically threw his life to her to take it. All of it.
Aryn took just the tiniest taste, then let him go again.
Hurt crept into Kylos gaze at her. Hurt at the perceived rejection. He longed for the touch, for the feeling of fading into the gentle void, of giving in to it, of losing himself and be relieved to the very last cell.
"Why?" he asked.
"It's not the time. There's a path ahead to be chosen."
"I have."
Her gentle smile again, and the touch on his cheek. "And still, there's more to choose."Finally, he got to his feet, straightening himself.
Where he would go from here, they both didn't know. The future was not yet written, not in this moment, Aryn sensed that. What was to come, nobody knew.
"Will you stay?"
She nodded. "I will."
"No matter what?"
"We'll see. But you need to know one thing: If one day you become a threat to the galaxies' core balance, I will stop you."
"How?"
Her eyes were clear and gentle, and caring – and earnest: "Before it comes to this ... I will kill you."
-- the end (for now) --