Work Text
Today
,
10:32pm
Washington
has created a chat
Washington
has added
Aaron, Adrienne, Alexander, Angelica, Charles, Elizabeth, George, Hercules, James, John, Gilbert, Margarita, Samuel,
and
Thomas
to the chat!
Washington
has named the chat: ‘
Political Studies
’
Washington
: Hello students! I know most of you are sleeping in preparation for the first day of school tomorrow, but hopefully you will see this in the morning. I am Mr. Washington, your political studies teacher. I will be using this online chat to send out reminders and homework for my class. I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow! Best Wishes - G.Wash
--
Political Studies
Today
,
3:24am
Alexander
:
[dick-pic.jpeg]
--
Political Studies
Today
,
3:55am
Alexander
: FUCK WRONG GROUPCHAT
--
Political Studies
Today
,
8:07am
Margarita: MY EYES
Margarita: MY VIRGIN EYES
Margarita: WHY
Margarita: OH GOD WHY
Elizabeth: Peggy what is wrong
Margarita: SCROLL UP TO LAST NIGHT
Margarita: SOMEBODY SENT A DICK PIC
Elizabeth: Jesus H christ!!
Elizabeth: I did not need this today
Samuel: I just opened the pic in front of my very religous mom who now thinks I’m gay
Samuel: So
Samuel: Yeah
Margarita: Sam???
Samuel: Yea
Margarita: Oh my poor innocent freshman baby Sam,, why did you open a file labeled ‘dick pic’ in front of your mom??
Samuel: I didn’t read the file name
Samuel: But I guess I’ll start doing that now
Elizabeth: SAM SAW A DICK
Elizabeth: OH MY GOD
Elizabeth: HE IS TOO YOUNG
Margarita: You are three years older than him
Elizabeth: Yes but that is three years of getting dick pics that he doesn’t have
Margarita: You’ve only seen like two more dicks than him
Samuel: Why are we still discussing this
Samuel: Not only in a groupchat with people who I’ve never met
Samuel: But also with our TEACHER
Margarita: He’s gonna see the dick pic he might as well learn about how many each student has seen
Gilbert: jgdsdfoasyfshjnc
Gilbert: alex
Gilbert: why must you send such pictures
Margarita: You’re asking me
Gilbert: yes
Adrienne: It’s an expression, Laf
Gilbert: ohhhh
Adrienne: Yeah
Adrienne: Also
Adrienne: WTF
Alexander has changed his nickname to Alex!
Alex: I’m sorry.
Margarita has changed her nickname to Peggy!
Elizabeth has changed her nickname to Eliza!
Peggy: YOU
Peggy: YOU DID THIS TO ME
Alex: I’m s o r r y
Peggy: Sorry doesn’t give me my innocence back
Samuel: Peggy, you weren’t innocent before you saw the picture
Peggy: BUT YOU WERE
Aaron: What. The. Fuck.
Alex: BURR DONT READ UP
Aaron: Too late.
Aaron: Alexander what the actual shit
Alex: oh my god
Alex: i want to die
John: not bad @Alex
Alex: <MNBSEW:Q
Eliza: JOHN
John: just speaking the truth
Angelica: “Wrong groupchat” what other groupchat were you sending this too, @Alex
Alex: That is classified information
Hercules: He was going to send it too a chat with me, john, and laf so we could compare dick sizes
Adrienne: You??? Were??? Going??? To??? Send??? Laf??? A??? Dick??? Pic???
Gilbert has changed his nickname to Lafayette!
Lafayette: You’re just jealous I get more dicks than you do
Adrienne: LAF
Eliza: Why are we still talking about it
Eliza: School starts in ten minutes
James: I’m skipping because I’m #toocoolforschool
Thomas: He has the flu
James: They didn’t need to know that
Hercules: Ur in this class James??
James: We signed up together
Hercules: We did??????????????????????????
James: You and Alex were drunk
Hercules: Oh
James: Jfc
Thomas: @Alex whose leg is in the back
Alex: nobodys
Thomas: I can see a leg
Alex: Theres no leg
John: It’s mine
John: The leg is mine
Alex: JOHN
Peggy: I’m about to walk into a classroom, look at somebody for the first time, and know what their dick looks like
Eliza: Oh my god
Eliza: I know what his dick looks like, but not his face
George: ALL I WANTED WAS TO LEARN ABOUT POLITICS
George: NOW I HAVE A DICK PIC
Charles: Idk sounds like a pretty good trade off
Charles: Wait
Charles has changed his name to Charlie!
Charlie: @Alex is ur last name Hamilton??
Alex: yes
Charlie: I WAS IN UR KINDERGARTEN CLASS
Charlie: AND YOUR BOYSCOUT TROOP
Charlie: AND NOW IM SEEING YOUR PENIS
Samuel: #relationshipgoals
Charlie: /SAMMY/ SAW UR DICK??????
Charlie: HES 14
Samuel: And a half
Charlie: STILL
Alex: Oh my god
Alex: A fourteen year old saw my dick
Alex: I can’t live with that
Washington: Hello students! Just a reminder that class starts in three minutes! Please don’t be late on the first day! Best wishes - G. Wash
Alex: . . .
Alex: Do you think he saw
Hercules: Nah he would’ve done something if he saw
Thomas: I want him to open it during class just so I can see his face
Alex: If he opens it in class I might actually shoot myself
Samuel: I’m in class and Washington is getting out his phone
Alex: Oh god
Samuel: He got a really confused look on his face and his scrolling up now
Alex: Fuck
Samuel: His eyes just got really wide and he slammed his phone down and then looked right at me and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’
Lafayette: That poor, poor man
Samuel: He’s picking his phone up again
Samuel: He’s typing
Alex: AJLKLAEF
Washington: Students, I apologize for what has happened in this chat. Please forgive me for thinking this was a good idea and any of yiur ckassmates who might have sent innapropriate pictures. Best Regards - G. Wash
Alex: IM SO SORRY SIR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I MEANT TO SEND IT TO ANOTHER GC
Washington: I do not need to know the details
Washington: I am not going to speak of this in class, and I hope all of you will choose not too as well
--
Political Studies
Today, 9:50am
George: That was the most awkward hour of my life ever
Samuel: Agreed
Alex: He looked so uncomfortable
Peggy: He had a rigth to be uncomfortable, he saw one of his students dicks
Alex: rigth
Eliza: How about we all make a pact to never talk about this ever again
Alex: that sounds good to me
Eliza: rt
Peggy: rt
George: rt
Samuel: rt
Thomas: rt
James: rt
Hercules: rt
John: rt
Lafayette: rt
Aaron: rt
Adrienne: rt
Angelica: rt
Charlie: rt
Washington: rt
Peggy: duhq/awvgerdbvd
Peggy: Hi Mr. Washington : - )
Hercules: Did you just put a smiley face on a nose
Peggy: ??
Hercules: shit I meant the other way around
Peggy: You got a problem
Hercules: Yes
Peggy: : - ) oh
Peggy: : - ) really?
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Hercules: STOP
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Peggy: : - )
Washington: Ms. Schuyler, woud you please stop?
Peggy: : - 0
Peggy: Yeah sure sorry sir
Washington: It is fine
Washington: If anybody has any questions about the class, I will be in my office after school today from 4:05 - 5:00. Feel free to stop by. Best Regards - G. Wash
Angelica: Does he sign all of his texts like that?
Thomas: I think he only signs the ones directed to all of us
Angelica: I guess that’s slightly less sad
Lafayette: Signing texts isn’t sad
Angelica: Your just saying that becuse uve got the hots for Washington
Lafayette: No i dont
Adrienne: U were staring at him all class
Lafayette: SHUT UP ADRI HE”S IN THIS CHAT
Adrienne: I know
Adrienne: If he reads this messages he’ll know and then you two will fuck
Lafayette: STOP TALKING
Adrienne: We’re texting
Adrienne: lmao
Peggy: how old is laf
Adrienne: 18
Peggy: then i’m all for this
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Lafayette: FERME TA GUEULE
Adrienne: Peggy, spam it so he’ll see
Lafayette: NO DONT
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Peggy: LAFAYETTE WANTS TO FUCK MR. WASHINGTON
Washington: Ms. Schuyler, this is the second time I’ve had to ask you to stop spamming> Please refrain from doing it again.
Peggy: You got it, Mr. Washington
Washington: Thank you
Lafayette: YGWD;SCYHCBKGDSAFLFGGI;UEKBJCHV FGEIDHAGEWYOIUGYFPRTIUWTGF7TP98OY;IGUFHVBCLA;.’/ F192078.`140\=,-e]popifjasdvhf
Peggy: LMAO
Peggy: I don’t even think he read the texts
Lafayette: BUT WHAT IF HE DID
Peggy: Calm down
Peggy: If he did, it obviously doesn’t bother him cuz he didn’t get pissed
Lafayette: im gonna go die in calc bye
Peggy: audios
Alex: “audios”
Alex: nice try
Peggy: adios!!!!!!
Peggy: i meant adios111111111111111111111111111111111111
Eliza: audios
Thomas: Audios
Charlie: Audios
George: Audios
Samuel: Audios
Washington: Audios
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Political Studies
Today
,
6:58pm
Washington
: Hello students! Don’t forget you will need a laptop for class tomorrow. If you do not own one, please rent one from the library before first period. Best Whishes - G.Wash
Samuel
: Whishes
--
Political Studies
Today
,
9:45pm
Alex
: im drunk’/
John
: sameer
John
: Samser4erndbf
Alex
: take yilur tikme
John
: Semen
Alex
: semen
John
: Same**
Peggy
: It’s not even ten yet
Peggy
: How are you this drunk already
Washington
: How are you drunk at all? Neither of you are twenty-one. This is against the law.
Alex
: shit fdwashingptpn caught us, johnnnnnnnnnnn
John
: dont areest us p;s;jease
Washington
: I won’t arrest you, but I do need to make sure you get home safely. Ms. Schuyler, do you have a drivers liscense?
Peggy
: Yes siree
Washington
: Could you please pick up Mr. Laurens and Hamilton and escourt them to their homes?
Peggy
: You got it, d00d
Peggy
: john where are you
John
: lfyeteesssssssssss
Peggy
: huh
John
: baguettes
Peggy
: Are you at a bakery?
John
: non
John
: were at oui oui hon hon bauguettes
Peggy
: that doesnt help
John
: wants to fujckd washingitonv
Peggy
: Lafayette’s??
Washington
: Wants to what?
Peggy
: Nothing, Mr. Washington
Peggy
: are you at Lafayette’s
John
: oui oui
Peggy
: Okay, I’m omw
Washington
: I’m confused. Wants to what?
Peggy
: Ignore it, Mr. Washington
Peggy
: John I’ll be there in five
Alex
: why is she staking to yu an c not mee
John
: m ore sober n u
Alex
: im mroe sobe than laafyete
Lafayette
: n olr ur not
Washington
: Lafayette, are you intoxicated too?
Lafayette
: YE)E DISNT TELLL JNNEE WASHIN GDADDY WAAAAAS ON
Lafayette
: no mikster i am not drunjk
Washington
: I’m not sure I believe you
John
: “washingdaddy”
Lafayette
: shikt fup jihn
Alex
: wereeeeeeeeeeee gpnns be so embrssed in day
Washington
: I’m embarassed /now/. You are in one of the top political classes of the state, and you act like this.
Alex
: whhgt di ytu tonk otder poooiticians act;liek
John
: tonk
Hercules
: yoi geys didkmn t tel me we were tesxmunrg
Washington
: Another one. Great.
Hercules
: is leggy gonna pick me deuo to ku
Alex
: wyut
Hercules
: IS LEGGYY GONNA PICK ME DEUO TO KU
Alex
: stip skreeking
Washington
: Yes, Mr. Mulligan, Ms. Schuyler is going to pick you up too.
Hercules
: ydyyyyyy
Hercules
: she igfds verty nice and prety
Peggy
: Thank you, herc. So are you.
Hercules
: she dsaid im preety
Peggy
: ok boys get in the car and tell me ur adresses. We’re all going home.
Alex
: noooooooooooooooooooo dont wanu gy hinw
John
: jo hyme an ill ft u
Alex
: thhvc johnny ;ibe you <3333333333333333333333333333
John
: <33333333333333 u 2
Peggy
: Jesus christ
Peggy
: I’m going to take them all home now. I hope they dont bother you too much, Mr. “washingdaddy”
Washington
: Please refrain from calling me that.
Peggy
: yeah sorry that was weird, i dont even want to fuck you like laf does
Washington
: Excuse me?
Peggy
: Bye sir!
--
Political Studies
Today
,
10:21pm
Thomas
:
Lafayette
: YE)E DISNT TELLL JNNEE WASHIN GDADDY WAAAAAS ON
Lafayette
: no mikster i am not drunjk
Thomas
: Can we discuss this?
George
: Washingdaddy
Samuel
: Oh my god
Samuel
: Washingdaddy
Aaron
: hhhhhhhh
Aaron
: Everytime I open this chat, the situation gets worse
George
: The second message in this chat is Hamilton’s dick, I don’t see how it can get much worse than that
Aaron
: True
Alex
: fikc you gweorge and grr
Samuel
: grr
George
: Aaron Grr
Aaron
: Gweorge King
Alex
: my duck is buetofl
Alex
: dikc
Alex
: dick
Washington
: Hamilton, I think its best you stop talking for a while.
Washington
has muted
Alex
Thomas
: I didn’t know you could do that
Thomas
: That’’ll come in handy
Angelica
: Yes, I’ll be able to mute you whenever you’re being a dick.
James
: He’ll be getting muted a lot.
Thomas
: James, my best friend, you don’t think I’m a dick, do you?
James
: No comment
Thomas
: JAMES HOW DARE YOU I AM NEVER A DICK
James
: :/
Thomas
: JAMESSSS
Charlie
: Why is Thomas crying
Thomas
: James and angelica are saying I’m a dick
Charlie
: Well, i mean
Thomas
: CHARLIE
Charlie
: They do have a point
Thomas
: :QFIELDHFN;AISKG
Thomas
: @Washington, do you think I’m a dick?
Washington
: While I do believe your language is crude, you are not a “dick”.
Thomas
: Thank you, Mr. Washington
George
: He’s just saying that because you look like Lafayette, and he wants to fuck Lafayette
Lafayette
: HW DOESD???!?!111111111111111111111111/1
Washington
: I never said that.
George
: He’s not denying it.
Lafayette
: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Washington
has muted
Lafayette
George
: ooooof
Washington
: I’d prefer not to talk with an intoxicated student.
George
: Lafayette’s gonna be so embarassed in the morning
Eliza
: This is why underage people shouldn’t get drunk
Angelica
: Eliza,,,,,
Angelica
: You got drunk last weekend
Eliza
: No, I got tipsy last weekend
Angelica
: Same difference
Samuel
: You guys are discussing things that are illegal in a chat with our teacherr
George
: C’mon, Sam, I’m sure you’ve done something illegal before
Samuel
: Nope
Samuel
: I am innocent
Peggy
: He is a beb
Samuel
: I’m only two years younger than you
Peggy
: A smol, precious beb
Samuel
: I am not “smol”
Peggy
: Your 5’3 accept it
George
: You 5’3??
George
: I was that tall in sixth grade
Samuel
: Screw you
George
: Your so sh0rt
Charlie
: Stop shortshaming him
Samuel
: Yeah stop shortshaming me
Peggy
: Wait, wait, wait
Peggy
: You know that one vine where the guy is like “stop letting people walk all over you” and he’s stepping on the other guy???
Samuel
: Uh no
Peggy
: Oh
Peggy
: Well I just thought that vine was very you and it’s important you know that
George
: What vine am i
Peggy
: this one
George
: --_--
George
: Your this one
Peggy
: *puts gun at your head* Answer the question, Katie
James
: The moon landing is fake convince me otherwise
Thomas
: You believe in the moon? Heh
Peggy
: Thomas is i wanna be a cowboy baby
Thomas
: No im not wtf
Peggy
: Your already a cowboy, you Southern piece of shit
James
: im southern
Peggy
: You different
Peggy
: Your the FUCK my car
James
: I feel like that one’s more burr
Peggy
: It’s both of you
Washington
: Martha, why are my students assigning eachother short video clips in the classroom groupchat?
Peggy
: LMAo
Peggy
: Wrong chat, Mr. Washington.
Washington
: Oh sorry, my apologies.
Thomas
: . . .
Thomas
: So who do you think Martha is
Charlie
: His wife, probably
Peggy
: Rip Lafayette, forever in our hearts
John
: oui oui hon hon baguettes siys wifoo wont stoop homn
Peggy
: You didn’t even spell Waifu right
Peggy
: Also
Peggy
: how do you know what Lafayette said
John
: abukt mizon aburt miksion
Peggy
: Are you with Laf again
John
: yews
Peggy
: Mr. Washintonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
John
: shhh no tellin
Wahington
: Mr. Laurens, are the other two with you as well?
John
: yEs
Peggy
: not it
Washington
: I will not be sending anybody to retrieve them. They will have to deal with the consequences of their actions.
John
: ;lnbib;b we gon partayyyyyyyyyyy
Washington
has muted
John
Washington
: I suggest you all go to sleep now.
Washington
has muted all users