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“What would you do if I died?”“What?” Shannon looked up from the TV, dropped the game controller by his side and shook his head.“What ... would you do if I died?”“Are you in one of your moods again?”“Would you find someone else right away?” Jared asked softly, his blue eyes dark with intensity as he looked at his brother across the room.“Yes.”Shannon watched as Jared opened his mouth, closed it again then looked down at his hands.“I’m only kidding, Jay. What’s going on?” Shannon rose from the couch, kneeling down in front of Jared, rubbing his hands up his brother’s thighs. The younger man leaned forward in his chair, taking Shannon’s hands in his and squeezing them tightly.“I think you should. You know how much you hate to be alone.” He paused, smiling a sad smile that didn’t quite make it to his eyes. “Do you think you’ll go back to women? Or find another man?”Shannon’s face fell, hazel eyes widening with disbelief, mouth dropping open. “I don’t wanna talk about this, again! You get like this every time you have to leave.”“It’s different this time. I have this really bad feeling ... I saw the plane crashing ...”“Jared, don’t do this to yourself! You are not psychic and your dreams or visions or whatever you wanna fucking call them, never happen the way you see them.”“I saw myself there, in the plane, and that’s never happened before, Shan. I’ve never seen myself ... die before. I just want you to know I understand that you’ll ... ”Shannon jumped up, throwing his arms in the air and storming from the room. “Enough Jared!”“Shannon!” Jared called out. “I’m fucking serious.”₪ ø lll ·o. Jared spent the rest of the afternoon packing his things for his trip. He tried to keep all his thoughts focused on the gathering and folding, but he kept coming back to the same place ... the dream.He’d woke up sweaty and tense, gasping for breath, his eyes immediately falling on the snoring man beside him for reassurance that he was still alive, then running to the bathroom and spilling the contents of his stomach in the toilet bowl. The vivid images of fire and burning and screams and death continued to fill his head as he heaved and emptied his body. Crawling back under the covers, he wiggled himself under Shannon’s arm, burying his face in the man’s warmth and clutching him tightly. Shannon had unconsciously shifted his body, twining himself around Jared like he usually did while his lover continued to cling and breathe deeply in his arms.“It was just a dream,” Jared whispered to himself, letting the top of the suitcase fall into place and zipping it up. “Shannon’s right. Everything’s fine.”₪ ø lll ·o. When it was time to leave for the airport, Jared went to the backyard where Shannon was sitting, earbuds firmly in place, body swaying slightly in his chair, just enjoying the late afternoon sun. Jared couldn’t help smiling as the man looked up and tried hard to keep the frown on his face. The drummer’s temper didn’t flare often, and even when it did, he couldn’t keep the mad on his face for any length of time when it came to Jared.“Leaving?” Shannon asked, removing the buds from his ears. Jared nodded, sitting down in the chair beside his brother and crossing his legs. “Want me to drive you?”“No. You look ... busy,” Jared teased, letting one hand slide over the arm of his chair and onto Shannon’s. “I don’t like the whole airport goodbye thing anyhow.”“You’re only going for three days, Jay. It’s not a big goodbye.” Shannon lifted the thumb of his covered hand and brushed over Jared’s pinkie. “But if you’re really worried ...”“No,” Jared said again. “I’m fine. Didn’t sleep very well last night, that’s all.”“Dream was pretty bad?”“Yeah. But I’m okay. I better go, the taxi’s probably waiting.”Shannon rose from his chair, pulling Jared with him and wrapping him securely in his arms. “Call me when you get there?” he whispered into the soft fragrant hair. Jared nodded, nuzzling his face deeper into Shannon’s neck as his brother stroked his hair gently.He felt like such an idiot when he let his dreams skew his thinking, and for that very reason, he never mentioned them much anymore. Shannon always understood, but it still made Jared feel like he was losing touch with reality or freaking out for nothing when he gave into his fears. He didn’t have the freaky dreams all that often, but when he did they tended to leave him at least a little shaken, though never as much as the one that had him rattled at that moment.Taking a deep breath, he pulled back from Shannon’s neck, pressed their mouths together, and wound one hand in the short spikes of Shannon’s hair. “There wouldn’t be anybody else, Jay,” Shannon whispered against his lips. “Not for a very long time, anyhow, if ever. And I’ll never love anyone like I love you.”Jared sighed, crushing his lips to Shannon’s, the desperation in his kiss surprising even himself. His mind had retreated back to fire and screaming and destruction, and he just wanted to leave the house with only Shannon residing in his head, and if he could manage it, his brother’s sweet essence in his mouth. “Do we have time?” he murmured, feeling Shannon’s growing erection push against his leg.“I can drive you ... really fast,” Shannon growled, his hands already reaching under the hem of Jared’s shirt, pulling it up over his head, then doing the same to his own. Jared sank to his knees and shimmied Shannon’s shorts from his body, his nose brushing the man’s naked cock before he grabbed it at the base and sucked it into his mouth.He groaned against the warm, musky flesh, the fingers of one hand sliding around to grip Shannon’s ass, the other stroking up and down his brother’s shaft. It didn’t take long for Shannon to start rolling his hips, thrusting his cock in and out of Jared’s mouth as his brother continued to suck and lick.“Stop, Jared. Fuck ... let me do you now ... I’m too fucking close ... goddamn it, pull off!” Shannon groaned, taking one hand from his brother’s hair and gripping the chair for balance. Jared’s tongue continued to swirl, his throat opening up and swallowing as Shannon’s hips started bucking faster, his leaking cock pulsing and vibrating in Jared’s mouth.“Fuck!” Shannon gasped, tangling his fingers in Jared’s hair, his other hand white-knuckling the chair as his body began to convulse and he filled his brother’s mouth. Jared kept sucking, fingers working up and down Shannon’s shaft, throat swallowing the saltiness that was his brother. “I gotta sit down,” Shannon gasped again, pulling harder on Jared’s hair then dropping down into the chair.Jared sat back on his heels, wiping the excess come from his lips, licking his fingers erotically as Shannon sat panting and gazing at him. “Gonna be late. I gotta go before the taxi takes off.”“What the fuck was that?” Shannon snarled. “You gotta at least let me catch my breath, and I thought you wanted to ...”“No time.” Jared rose to his feet, rubbing at his scraped knees through his jeans and adjusting the snugness of the denim against his cock. “We’ll just say you owe me one, a double.”“Sneaky little bastard,” Shannon smiled. “You got everything?”Jared smiled, smacking his lips as he tasted Shannon’s left-over essence in his mouth, then throwing his backpack over his shoulder and grabbing his suitcase from the ground. “Yep. Everything.”₪ ø lll ·o. “Tome? Why the fuck you calling so late?”“Do you have the news on, Shan?”“No. I was fucking asleep. Why?”“I’m coming over. Wait for me.”“What ...”Shannon hung up the phone, rubbed his sleepy face, then grabbed the remote from the bedside table. He flipped on the TV, snickering as The Home Shopping Network suddenly came to life. “Fucking Jared and his shopping,” he snickered, again, rising from the bed and crossing to the bathroom.He took a leak, flushed, washed his hands, grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen, then settled down on the couch in the living room. Turning on the TV was like having fucking surround-sound going on both levels of the house as the Home Shopping Network roared to life again.Shaking his head, he leaned back into the couch, wrapping Jared’s old crocheted throw around his shoulders as he prepared to wait for Tomo. He didn’t know what the man’s problem was and he’d contemplated calling him back, but Tomo had sounded odd on the phone, and Shannon didn’t want to make him answer his cell while he was driving, just in case he’d been drinking or was stoned out of his head.He started flipping channels; religious, infomercial, religious, porn, infomercial, Seinfeld, fuck, those reruns were even on at one in the morning. What the fuck was that all about? He finally hit the button for the TV guide and clicked on CNN, the volume on the TV suddenly changing from quiet and soft to loud and erratic, no longer in sync with the one upstairs.He stared at the screen, trying to wrap his brain around what he was seeing and hearing. Moving from his leaned-back position, he perched on the edge of the couch, straining to get a closer look at what was going happening on the screen.“Shan? Shan?” Tomo’s voice ripped through Shannon’s thoughts, the guitarist suddenly appearing in front of him, disheveled and breathing hard. “What time did Jared leave?”“What’s this all about?” Shannon asked distractedly, his eyes focused on the screen. “What are they saying? A plane crash? Where?”Tomo sat down beside Shannon, removing the remote from his hand and placing the glass of water between his fingers instead. “What time did Jared leave, Shan?”“I dunno. Sometime in the afternoon, maybe?”“Think!” Tomo barked. “What time and what airline?”“The taxi picked him up around four ... I think, and he always wants to be there two hours ahead, so six, maybe. American Airline is what he usually takes.”“To Toronto?”“Yeah, he’s doing some film promo thing.” Shannon voice was emotionless, his tongue poking out every few words to lick his lips. “What are they talking about on the news? What did you come all the way over here to tell me?”“Shan ...”“Because if you think you’re gonna tell me that Jared was on that plane they’re talking about on there ...” Shannon flicked a hand at the TV then turned to Tomo. “ ... then you’re wrong.”“It might be his plane, Shan.”“No, it’s not. He called me when he got in.” Shannon shook his head, body beginning to shake under the throw. “He always calls me when he gets in.”“What time did he call you?”“Whenever he got there. He was all flaky cuz he forgot his phone charger and I asked him how the fuck I was supposed to get it to him in Chicago ...” Shannon’s eyes opened wide.“Chicago? Jared was in Chicago?”“He had to change planes. Said he had a long lay-over and he was bored ...”“Shannon, you need to call him.”“But I already talked to him, Tomo. I already talked ...”Tomo reached into his front pocket, fishing his Blackberry out and hitting “speed-dial”. Shannon could hear the phone on the other end ringing, then Jared’s voice loud and clear.“I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you have this number because I gave it to you then leave a message. If you have it because someone I actually know gave it to you, leave a message, but if you have it because you’re trying to invade my fucking privacy, lose it and fuck off.”“Maybe he’s still in the air,” Shannon whispered, eyes glued to the TV screen, again. “He can’t pick up when he’s in the air, Tome.”“Shan ...”“Or he’s asleep ... and if you fucking wake him up, he’ll be fucking pissed, Tome ... he ... he does sleep pretty soundly you know, when he sleeps at all ... which really isn’t often or enough ... we really need to get him to sleep more ... I don’t know how he keeps on ...”Tomo put an arm around Shannon’s shoulders, bringing the drummer closer and giving him a squeeze. “It might be his plane, Shan.”“What might be? That fucking plane on the news? The one with all the fire and smoke and fucking dead people? You’re out of your fucking mind! Get the hell out of here!”Shannon shoved Tomo off him, rubbing frantically at his face, eyes wild and desperate. “He said there was something wrong ... something was gonna happen ... but I didn’t fucking listen to him ... I didn’t fucking listen to anything ... I never fucking listen ...”“Shan. There must be someone we can call to find out. We have to find out ... don’t we?”Shannon jumped up from the couch. “He wasn’t on that plane. He wasn’t on that fucking plane! I’d know if he was. I’d fucking know!”Tomo grabbed Shannon in a bear hug, fighting the flailing arms and pushing hands until Shannon finally settled quietly against his chest, a sob escaping his throat. Tomo held him tight, his own throat dry and cluttered with emotion. “Why don’t we call the airline or something. Maybe they can tell us what to do. We’ll think of something ...”“Mom,” Shannon suddenly said, pushing Tomo away again. “I have to call her, and Emma, and fuck, who else do I have to call?”Tomo forced Shannon back against his chest, arms winding around him tightly. “You need to calm down. We need to find out what’s really going on before you start calling people.”“I can’t lose him. How can I lose him? How can I ... do anything without him? He’s not just my fucking brother, he’s my life ... how the fuck ...” Shannon words turned into sobs as Tomo continued to hold him, stroking his head and desperately trying to think of something to say ... anything to say.“What the fuck is this? I’m not even gone 24 hours and you’ve replaced me already?”Shannon flung Tomo away, his body twisting so fast, he lost his footing and was sent sprawling on his knees to the floor.“Shan?” Jared said, voice softer, blue eyes staring worriedly down at his brother. “What’s going ...”Jared suddenly found himself on his ass on the floor half-way across the room from where he’d been, Shannon glowering and fuming over top of him. “You bastard!” his brother yelled, bending down to slap him on the head. “You fucking cocksucking bastard!”“What the fuck ...” Jared shoved Shannon back, rising quickly to his feet, hands held protectively out in front of him. “Tomo, you wanna tell me what’s going on? Why my brother is acting like a raving lunatic?”“How did you get home, Jared?” Tomo asked simply, placing a hand on Shannon’s shoulder, only to have it shoved roughly away. “I thought you were going to Toronto?”Jared blinked at Tomo, keeping Shannon’s panting form in the corner of his eye. “My flight was cancelled because of some accident in Toronto.”“Not an accident! A plane crash! A fucking plane crash! In fucking Toronto!” Shannon yelled, taking a step closer to his brother, hands balled into fists at his sides.“They didn’t tell us what happened, just that there’d be no flights into Toronto at least until tomorrow night so I just came home.”“It was your fucking plane!” Shannon continued to rant. “Your fucking plane! Just like you said. Just like you fucking said!”“Do you guys need me to stay?” Tomo asked, clearly uncomfortable as he shifted from foot to foot, between the brothers.Jared never shifted his gaze from Shannon, just shook his head and reached out to pat Tomo on the back. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for being here.”“No problem. Shan, you okay?”“Fucking fabulous.”Tomo nodded, backing out of the room and heading for the door. Only after he heard the door slam behind their friend, did Jared move towards Shannon. “You thought I was on that plane?”“You said you were,” Shannon snapped, backing away.“I said I was going to Toronto ...”“Same fucking thing. It was your goddamn airline and your goddamn plane.”“I was on Delta, Shan. Was it a Delta plane?”Shannon looked down at his feet. “You always take American. You always fucking take American, and you had that dream or whatever ... you said the plane was gonna crash and then Tomo said it did and it was your fucking airline ...”Jared felt a painful tug in his chest as he stepped forward and took Shannon in his arms. “I’m okay, baby,” he whispered into Shannon’s hair, relieved when his brother wrapped his arms around his waist. “I didn’t know ... that you thought ... I’m sorry.”“Fuck, Jared!” Shannon growled. “Fucking don’t do that again!”“I promise. I’m sorry for worrying you.” Jared kissed the side of Shannon’s head, one hand traveling to cup his brother’s chin so their lips could meet. He kissed him gently, Shannon’s hand moving up to grip in his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”“Bastard,” Shannon mumbled against Jared’s lips. “Fucking little bastard.”