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Sometimes Jimin would feel insanely out of breath. He’d be thrusting his all into his dance moves one minute and then on the floor with shaky inhales the next. Whenever this happened, he’d be surrounded by Jungkook and Taehyung, rubbing his back and pressing bottles of water into his hands. This usually happened as a result of working too hard, but recently it had been happening much more often. Too often for everyone else’s liking.This happened yet again after Jimin skipped yet another meal after yet another physically demanding day.Except, this time, he hadn’t been moving around loads or dancing. Yoongi had found him hiding in the bathroom after he noticed the door had been shut for too long. As well as that, when he pressed his ear to the door he could hear faint gasping.“Jiminie, what’s wrong?” He knealt next to the younger who was leaning against the bathtub and looking as white as a ghost. Jimin tried so hard to catch his breath but only kept spluttering and clutching at his chest.“Lungs.” The faintest of words left his blue lips. Yoongi rushed to the medicine cabinet, searching around the back for the spare emergency inhaler. Once grabbing ahold of the object, he crouched down again and held it to his lips, prompting Jimin to take it.“I’m gonna help you breathe, okay? Just try your best, make sure I can hear you, stay focused. You’ll make it out okay.” The last statement was more for his own comfort than anything, really. The younger forced the air down his throat as best he could, the hollow sound clear in the otherwise silent bathroom. Yoongi hated seeing Jimin like this. He had figured out that his body barely contained the energy to be able to breathe. He was dying right in front of the rest of the band because he cared so much about his appearance.It took an agonisingly slow amount of time, but Jimin was able to breathe on his own again. Yoongi still held on to the inhaler, though, as he lead the younger to his room.Hoseok would be playing with the two younger members, so the two were able to spend time alone in Jimin’s room. Yoongi opened the closet doors and picked out a fluffy pyjama top.“Let’s get you changed into something more comfortable.”Jimin still felt physically weak, so he allowed the elder to pull his shirt over his head. However, before putting his pyjama top on, Yoongi couldn’t help but stare at the protruding ribs. His collarbones were so much more prominent than he remembered, his waistline was so tiny, and that was the moment he also noticed the massive gap between his thighs. Even with all that remained beneath the skin flattened against his bed as he sat, he felt like he was looking at his friend’s skeleton. With hot tears suddenly streaming down his face, Yoongi slid the warmer top over Jimin’s head and allowed him to pull it down all the way.Yoongi let Jimin go and join the rest of the maknae line as they watched a movie in the lounge while he went to the bathroom to put the inhaler back where he found it. He also took that time to scrub the wetness from his eyes. The fact that the friction only made him look more red didn’t help his case, though. He made his way back to his and Seokjin’s shared room to find the elder reading a book. In that moment, he felt like being quiet would’ve been a crime.He walked over to Seokjin’s bed and nestled himself between his hyung’s arms. Seokjin was confused at first, but quickly recognised this behaviour.“Jimin is so thin.” And just like that, he started to cry again. “This has been happening for ages. We let this progress. Hyung, he’s dying.”“I have to get him to eat at least 2000 calories tomorrow since he’s so worryingly thin.” Seokjin sighed sadly, holding onto the younger in understanding. “But you know how the number 300 can make him worried sick now.”“He had another breathing problem in the bathroom. I helped him breathe and helped him change and his ribs were— oh my god, he’s gonna die.” Yoongi was losing his breath too. “His thigh gap and his bones, he has no weight left to lose- I’m—“Seokjin set his book down on the bed and carded his hands through Yoongi’s coarse hair, willing himself not to cry alongside his friend, who quietly sobbed in a mild kind of anxiety attack.“It’s gonna be okay, Yoongs. It’ll take some encouraging but before you know it we’ll have Jimin back on track towards a full recovery. And he’ll eat whatever he wants and love himself even if he gets a bit chubby. Even if he relapses we’ll build him back up again, okay?” He lifted Yoongi’s chin with his fingers to look him in the tear-stricken eyes. “Don’t worry too much, yeah?”“Yeah.” The younger sniffed and buried his face into the crook of Seokjin’s neck. “I’m tired, I’m gonna sleep here.”“Well, okay, but let me go check up on the others and I’ll be back soon.”The movie had ended a while ago, so Jimin had come back to his room and collapsed onto his bed, ready for his thoughts of self-criticism and anxiety to drown out the silence. He ran his hand over his ribs beneath his shirt, feeling every one in painstaking detail, how they felt contrasted to the rest of his body, whether they continued all the way around, how they felt when he sucked his stomach in. Not perfect enough. Could be more visible. Could be thinner—A knock on the door distracted him. He felt too weak to go and open the door, so instead he weakly called, “Come in”.It was Seokjin, looking just a little concerned. Perhaps he was being overridden with anxiety also, like a parent worrying for their children, but he could conceal it better than Jimin.“Tired?”“Yeah.” Jimin blinked slowly as the elder perched on the edge of his bed.“We have a lot of dance practice tomorrow.” Seokjin had decided to try to make Jimin comply tonight, for Yoongi’s sake. Then there was, of course, the fact that his ribs and hipbones really did jut out from under his clothes enough to make anyone want to give him a meal or three, right on the spot. “And, you know you need a lot of energy to do that. What I’m saying is, you should really eat breakfast with us tomorrow.”At that, Jimin could feel his heart beating out of his chest.“Hyung, I, ”He rapidly searched his brain for excuses. “I haven’t been feeling well lately. If I eat a meal I feel like it’ll just backfire.”“You’ll be okay, Jiminie. Y’know, we might be idols but it’s not a crime to eat enough.” A ghost of a smile graced both of their faces.“I do eat enough.”“Okay then,” Seokjin brought his legs up to cross them on the bed. “When was the last time you ate?”Now Jimin really had to wrack his brains. Another problem that his food intake presented with him was memory loss. Apparently he took too long to answer because then the elder sighed softly.“Do you want some rice?” Jimin wanted to say no, he really did, but he was hit with a sudden pang of guilt accompanied with the pains weighing down on his abdomen throughout the day. The thought came back to him of Yoongi helping him change his shirt, how he caught the glimpse of tears shortly before being sent off to find the maknae line. Yoongi would always go to Seokjin or Namjoon with his problems, and now Seokjin was here. He suddenly realised what the elder might know.“Please, hyung.” Rice was a safe food, anyway.
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Despite the bowl of rice Jimin half-ate and the extreme lack of calories he actually consumed, he felt like there was fat clinging onto every inch of his body when he woke up. Hidden underneath his bed was a weighing scale. He used it every day, sometimes twice a day, placing numbers into a log. He would usually either do it when he was alone in his room, or when he was certain Hoseok wasn’t conscious to see.93 pounds. Yesterday he was 93.5 pounds.His brain insisted he wasn’t losing weight quick enough.“Jiminie.” A sad sounding voice resonated in the room just as Jimin pushed the scale back under the bed. With the lamps set on dim, he could see Hoseok’s face from his own bed. He knew. He knew that he knew, too.“Sorry, hyung. I’m okay, really!” Jimin sent a reassuring look with a closed mouth smile, then left the room to use the bathroom after collecting a change of clothes.While in the room by himself, he wrapped his bony hand around his upper arm, just to see if he could fit it all the way around. Only just, he observed, and automatically added another small goal to his mental list. He quickly showered, taking in the warm water in contrast to the air which was so cold nowadays, got changed, brushed his teeth and performed his regular skincare routine.“Good morning, Jiminie.” Seokjin greeted him when he entered the kitchen a little earlier than everyone else. “You don’t have to eat much, but please make sure you eat something, okay?”He could see the pain in Jimin’s face as he slowly nodded.During breakfast, he made conversation with various members in order to keep his mind off the numbers. He had been food logging for longer than he could remember, to the point where he could look at almost any kind of food and see numbers. Not just calories, but amounts of protein and carbs and fat and sugar and oil and you name it. He still kept those in mind, counted the amount of forkfuls he had taken, counted the amount of times he chewed, but managed to make it through a quarter of what everyone else was eating before making eye contact with Seokjin and nodding.Dance practice went fairly well. Jimin always put his all into it, especially if he was in the centre. Not only was he doing something he had always loved, but he was burning away all those calories by doing so. He moved so gracefully through the air and endlessly went over all his moves to perfection. His stomach would growl as the music played and he loved it. He would sometimes lose his footing or his breath and end up having to take a break, but when he regained his strength he went right back into the dance.During a 10 minute break announced by Hoseok, Yoongi approached Seokjin.“Did you talk to Jimin last night?”“I did, I got him to eat some rice but he seemed way out of it. I made him promise to eat this morning but it didn’t seem like he ate much.”“Thank you, hyung.” Yoongi briefly squeezed the elder into a hug, then stepped back and took a drink from his water bottle. “Seeing his body yesterday, it really set off the alarms in my head.”“I think the same can be said for the rest of us.” A comforting smile was shared.Soon enough the break was over, and soon after that the practice was over. Seokjin, Namjoon and Hoseok had to stay behind to do some recording, but the other four were free for the rest of the day. Jungkook had come up to Jimin and asked if he wanted to watch k-dramas with him, so he complied. After getting comfy on the couch, the two started up casual conversation while rewatching episodes they had watched a million times before. Soon enough a number of hours had slipped by them, another k-drama was ending its final episode and Taehyung came into the room, offering various card games they could play together. Jimin almost had to take a long moment to think about how quickly time went by all of a sudden.When Seokjin, Namjoon and Hoseok returned, the former announced that he’d start making dinner. Namjoon sat by the maknae line to see what they were doing and to offer Uno strategies. Hoseok glanced at Jimin, smiled and disappeared to find Yoongi. other than that one subtle interaction, everything seemed pretty normal.Things started getting weird that evening. It started when Jimin started to walk to the kitchen and his legs completely gave way. Everyone froze and started to panic, but he quickly picked himself up again and laughed. Seokjin and Namjoon were especially scared at the sudden fall since he didn’t trip or anything, but Jimin insisted he was okay and he just stood up too quickly. His legs seemed weak but okay after that, and he hoped nobody else would make a massive deal out of it. Then, he found himself unable to eat anything at all at dinner. It wasn’t uncommon for him to skip this meal, but he still felt hungry skipping. However, when he got a small spoonful of rice down, he started feeling extremely dizzy. Taehyung must’ve noticed this, because then he could hear a low voice next to him whisper, “Are you okay?”, to which Jimin clamped a hand over his pounding head, and then everything went black.He could feel himself being carried somewhere. Opening his eyes required tremendous effort, but even still he could barely just recognise someone placing him on a soft bed. He knew who that someone was, his brain just wasn’t working at all.“Hyung?” Even his voice was weak, his head and stomach both pounded viciously and he could barely tell fact from fiction.“No, it’s me, Taehyung. Jiminie, are you okay?” No. No, he wasn’t. Not at all.“Totally.” Jimin attempted to get back up again but instead collapsed onto the floor. “I’m fine, really hyung,” He stood up again, successfully this time, leaning on the doorframe for support. “Just let me use the bathroom real quick.”“I’m not hyung! I’m Taehyung-ah, Jimin, something’s wrong, let me help—“ In the next second, Jimin was back in Taehyung’s arms with unsettling shallow breaths. In the midst of the panic, Yoongi and Seokjin had found the two and decided immediately that they needed to go to the hospital. Their words were the last Jimin heard before blacking out once more.Yoongi glanced in a panic at Jimin’s paling features, imagining the worst and the midst of a breakdown tugged at his racing brain. Seokjin was yelling throughout the dorm for no specific person in particular, everyone started to gather around and the tension escalated painfully quickly. Then he was being shepherded along with Taehyung, carrying Jimin, to the front door and out to the car. No one had bothered to pick up shoes except for Namjoon, who helped them all to the car before retreating back to the dorm to call the managers and keep Jungkook and Hoseok calm.During the ride, Seokjin drove while Yoongi and Taehyung sat in the back with Jimin laid across them. Eventually Yoongi couldn’t take the gradual decrease in oxygen that was entering the younger’s mouth and started to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation with two fingers on his pulse to make sure his heart still worked. It turned into a mini routine where Yoongi would perform resuscitation until he got tired out, then Taehyung would take over until he too ran out of breath. The two took turns and didn’t stop until they reached the hospital.Jimin was admitted instantly because of the state he was in. As the doctors performed tests and hooked him up to various machines, nurses advised the others to remain in a quiet waiting room. Seokjin called Namjoon to update him on the situation while Yoongi and Taehyung held each other tight, both shaky and sobbing as the weight of the situation pressed down fully.
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“Sirs, please come with me so we can talk about your friend.”It had been a few hours. By this time, Yoongi had calmed down, Taehyung had stopped crying but still shook noticeably. Seokjin still had Namjoon on the line just for comfort, but eventually put the phone down as the doctor walked down the hall to see them.She lead the three into a quiet meeting room with a few chairs and a table.“Please have a seat. Your friend is okay, but we’re terribly worried about his weight. He has so little fat to turn into energy that his heartrate has fallen dangerously low. We weighed him and calculated his BMI to be around 14, while he should really be at 18.5 or higher. We’re currently working on getting his heart back up to where it should be. However, if he hadn’t been brought in sooner we’re afraid he wouldn’t have made it for very long.” Seokjin looked down at his hands and nodded. Yoongi remained motionless. Taehyung took a tissue from the box that was placed on the table. “He’s resting right now, but you are allowed to see him. I’ll lead you to his room. We can discuss our plans for him when you’re ready.”Seokjin thanked the doctor and they all followed her to an isolated hospital room. Jimin was hooked up to an IV and heartrate monitor, along with various other machines that probably had complicated names and uses. An oxygen mask was strapped onto his face and needles penetrated the veins in his arms. He still looked deathly pale, but his condition was more stable than before.They all sat around the bed on chairs. Seokjin texted Namjoon to say the others could come visit. Yoongi held tightly onto Jimin’s hand while Taehyung focused on all the wires and where they lead, unable to look at who they were all attached to.Eventually, the hollow breathing of the oxygen mask started to quicken, then a sigh was audible. Jimin’s eyelids twitched, then fluttered open. He took in his surroundings, then almost grinned up at the three who looked on.“Hi.”Immediately Yoongi broke down again, holding Jimin’s hand to his chest. “Never do that again, you could’ve died.”“Sorry, hyung.” His smile faltered, his voice quiet but altered from within the oxygen mask, as if he was speaking from behind a window.“Jiminie-hyung,” Taehyung finally gathered the courage to look, comforted by the familiar glint in his friend’s eyes. “You seemed so confused. you kept calling me ‘hyung’ and falling over. I was really scared.”“I don’t remember any of that.”“The doctor said it’s because you’re too thin.”Jimin didn’t say anything after that. He knew he was underweight, but he didn’t think it was that bad.Eventually, Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook had arrived to see him. Jungkook was already in tears and ran to sit by Taehyung, while Hoseok comforted Yoongi and Namjoon sat by Seokjin to talk.“The doctor says he has a BMI of 14, he only just survived this.” Seokjin whispered, not wanting the others to overhear and get uneasy. “Joon, I don’t know what we’re gonna tell the managers, what if we have to go on hiatus? Will he want the press to know about this?”“It’ll be okay, hyung. Let’s just hear what else the doctor has to say and we’ll cross those bridges when we get to them.” The two shared a hug for comfort, Seokjin starting to cry from the stress.“I just can’t believe we let it go this far. The other night Yoongi came to me crying because he saw how much Jimin’s ribs stuck out, I should’ve done something more then.”“It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. Let’s just think about how we can fix it.”The two looked over at the maknae line. Jungkook was playing music on his phone so that Jimin could feel better. All three of them were talking about nothing in particular. Just next to them, Hoseok spoke to Yoongi in a low, gentle voice. Yoongi looked absolutely dishevelled and defeated, still holding on tightly to Jimin’s hand, likely still in shock from the events of the past two days. He rarely openly showed his tears like this, but Hoseok was doing a great job at helping him feel better. he was likely doing so in order to mask his own terror, though.After a while, a couple of doctors entered the room. With them was the doctor that had previously spoken to them. She gave them all a comforting smile.“Hello, we just need to check Jimin’s vitals. If you’re ready, we can also discuss what will be done next in regards to his health.”The six boys all looked at each other, silently deciding who would go with her. It would be too overwhelming if everyone went, so eventually Seokjin and Namjoon stood up together. It would be best for the leader and the oldest to go as they tended to know what’s best. The remaining four were asked to wait outside for a brief moment.“I have speculated on what the problem might be, but we’ll need a psychiatric appointment with him in order to decide on a diagnosis. I know he may want to go home for the night but it would be best if we could monitor him here. You should all go home for the night and rest. Visiting hours start at 7am tomorrow, though, so please visit him often.”“Thank you so much, doctor.” Namjoon spoke up, smiling. “Please take care of Jimin, he’ll be missing home already.”“I will. You should say goodbye to him now and get a good night’s sleep.”The six boys all said goodnight to Jimin individually, kissing his forehead and promising they will see him tomorrow. Jimin didn’t settle well with the fact that he’d be all on his own for the night, but accepted that he wouldn’t be able to leave.No one really got that much sleep.
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The day Jimin was allowed to return home, Seokjin and Namjoon arrived with a change of clothes for him. this time, instead of the familiar doctor talking to them in a private room, they all sat with Jimin to discuss treatment.“Jimin has been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. It’s quite difficult to treat but it is nonetheless possible. He will have to come to weekly therapy sessions and, if such drastic measures have to be taken, there are some recovery programs available for him to stay at for a few weeks. But, we are expecting and hoping for recovery to go well and it is unlikely that he will be sent to a recovery home.” She turned to Jimin, who sat up in his new change of clothes, no longer restrained by oxygen masks and wires. “Before we send you home, though, we must give you a feeding tube to use for a day. The tube will go up your nose and down your throat and feed you essential nutrients needed to function. There’s no need to worry about it, but I’m afraid it must be done. Your situation is very serious, and the team worries that you’ll still be fearful about eating meals when you’re home.”Jimin’s face began to grow scared and tearful, thinking about all the calories that would be uncontrollably going into his body. Namjoon placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, whispering “you’ll be okay”, before the doctor presented him with a tube to stick on his face.Getting the tube in was difficult because he kept squirming and he wanted to cry from the uncomfortableness of it all. It hurt going in and made him want to throw up. Once it was successfully threaded across his cheek and behind his ear, a bag of gross looking liquid food attached to the end, all he could feel was miserable.He quietly cried the whole car ride home, crying harder when he walked through the front door. Jungkook jumped up from where he was sat on the couch and enveloped him in a tight hug, being careful with the tube on his face. Each other member took their turn to welcome him home and tell him about how sad it’s been without him. All Jimin could do was cry. He hated the feeling of the plastic on his cheek and just wanted to pull it out and forcibly expel the nutrients out of his mouth.Yoongi planted a kiss on his forehead and took his hands gently. He lead him away from the talking as Seokjin and Namjoon told the others about what was happening. Soon they were in Yoongi’s and Seokjin’s room.“Does the tube bother you?” Yoongi sat him down on his bed and rubbed his back. Jimin sobbed and nodded his head in response. “It sucks, I know. But I trust the doctors have done what they think is right. You’re going to be okay. It might feel like you’ll never love yourself in a million years but I know you will. We’ll be with you every step of the the way. The tube is going to keep you alive until you feel well enough to eat meals on your own.”“I,” Jimin’s breath hitched and a cry tore through his throat. “But I don’t wanna be alive.”“Don’t say that.”“It’s true.”“When you’ve recovered you’ll be glad to be alive.”“I’ll never recover.”“Have faith in me. Have faith in the rest of the team, and the doctors. Believe me when I say, you will recover.” Yoongi willed himself not to cry as he held Jimin right, mindful of the tube, until the sobs turned into quiet sniffles and, eventually, steady breathing. He tucked the younger into bed and placed another kiss on his nose.Yoongi made his way back into the main room where everyone still discussed future plans for Jimin. Notes were thrown around about how he’s only being tubed for a day, he needs to go to therapy, and soon he’ll be back on his feet. The managers had been contacted and all plans for Jimin had been cancelled until he’s strong enough to dance again. He was still allowed to sing, but the managers decided to leave it up to him whether he felt up to it or not. It was only noon still, but Jimin had fallen asleep. They decided that a few of them would go to vocal lessons while others stayed behind to relax or care for Jimin when he needed it.After about an hour, Jimin found himself awake in Yoongi’s bed, trying to remember how he got there. In the midst of his thinking he started to fidget with the tube on his face, almost starting to pull it out when a knock on the door shocked him back into reality.“Hey, hyung!” It was Taehyung, holding a laptop under his arm and carrying board games. “Do you wanna play games with me? The others have gone out and I don’t have anything else to do.”Jimin took a moment to process the request. He then smiled, the first smile he’d shown since waking up in the hospital. “I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”They picked a selection of board games and put music on in the background. Jimin turned out to be surprisingly good at them, winning most of the matches. Even when he lost, he didn’t feel like a sore loser over it. He was feeling better. His mood improved drastically, much to the joy of Taehyung.“I think I’m about to win, Tae!” Jimin’s eyes turned into those beloved little crescents when the two laughed together. He put his final card on the pile between them and won yet another round when Seokjin opened the door.“Hey, guys! I wasn’t expecting to find you here.” He surveyed the bed they were both sat on and smiled to himself. “I’m ordering food tonight, is there anything you want me to get?”Taehyung looked towards Jimin, feeling slightly worried all of a sudden. But Jimin had an extremely small but evident kind of confidence that he hadn’t felt in ages.“I think I can eat.”
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Jimin appeared to be making a recovery after a few weeks. He attended his weekly therapy and the newly prescribed anti-depressants were making their effect, and it was all going very well.Recovery is never such a simple journey, though.Before he knew it he was having a tube shoved up his nose and down his throat again. It was the sight of the weighing scale under his bed that made him curious as to whether his weight had changed since he last weighed, causing him to panic and skip all his meals in a desperate sudden attempt to be where he once was. This made Seokjin extremely worried, causing Jimin to be back at the doctors.He really thought he was doing so well, and now he was being force fed again. He cried and cried for hours on end while the other members attempted to cheer him up, or at least make sure he didn’t descend into a panic attack and tear his throat with the sobs that shook his fragile form.Despite the exercise ban which the doctors put in effect for a few months, he was still allowed to sing his heart out in the recording booth. In fact, he put all the remaining energy that could’ve gone into dance into his vocals to make them even more passionate sounding. Their vocal coaches complimented Jimin on his sudden increase in enthusiasm, which made him feel much better despite all the choreography he was missing out on. This would only backfire if he worked too hard and got a sore throat, then he would feel utterly useless.Hoseok carded his hands through Jimin’s thin hair.“Hey, Jiminie. Do you wanna watch movies with us? We can play whatever you want.” Jimin’s crying began to lessen at the suggestion until he rubbed the wetness from his eyes and gave a small nod of agreement.They all ended up watching a variety of Netflix movies later that evening. Jimin had calmed considerably and laughed with the others whenever something funny happened.Whenever Jimin felt down because of something, a movie night would most definitely be in order. They were guaranteed to either cheer him up or tire him out enough to sleep. At first, the others wouldn’t get snacks apart from the occasional piece of fruit, but eventually popcorn was in the middle of the table for anyone to take and on particularly cheery movie nights, Jimin would even take a piece.He didn’t trust himself to stop being tubed, though. He threw out his weighing scale and continued with therapy and check-ups.Whenever he talked to his therapist, He would often describe his brain as two-sided. His good brain was optimistic about recovery, it was what encouraged him to get rid of the scale, it was the mindset that was brought out whenever the others cheered him up. His bad brain was the reason why his good brain had decided to stick with the feeding tube. It was pessimistic and made him think about relapse. The time he regressed back to his state of starvation was his bad brain taking control, and he cried those times he was tubed because he was in that mindset that made him want to rip it out and go for a run, or force all those calories out of his mouth.So when his bad brain was running rampant one night, Jimin had mastered the art of pulling the tube out. The mindset he was in had cast a fog over his rational thinking, so he left the tube on the toilet seat and grabbed the first pair of shoes he saw.Hoseok awoke strangely early that morning with a kind of unexplained anxiety. He looked over at Jimin’s bed to see he wasn’t there. He checked the time, seeing it was no reasonable time for him to be out of bed. He pushed the warm covers off his body and turned on a light, making his way out of the room.“Jin-hyung? Yoongi-hyung, you guys need to wake up!”Yoongi groaned in response, never happy to be forcefully awoken. “What is it?”“Jimin’s tube is in the bathroom and I can’t find him. I’ve looked everywhere—“ Hoseok was quickly cut short as Yoongi raced out of bed to find a hoodie and some shoes, Seokjin following suit. “Where could he be?”“The dance studio?” Seokjin suggested. “Or maybe he’s not in the company building at all. For all we know he could’ve gone for a walk, but why at this time? And why would he leave the tube behind without telling us?”This is bad, they all collectively decided. The thoughts of a relapse tugged at each of their minds as Hoseok went around waking everyone else up, just so someone would be there if Jimin happened to return while they were searching.“Namjoon, if he comes back, please call me.” Seokjin willed himself not to cry as the stress of the situation began to settle on them. He, Yoongi and Hoseok all left the dorm to three confused individuals.As the door closed, Jungkook returned with Jimin’s tube which had been abandoned in the bathroom. he quietly handed it to Namjoon before breaking into sobs. He stood with his head down, hands clasped around his neck and tears splashing onto the floor.“It’s going to be okay, Kook. Jimin has those episodes where he does risky things but he always comes around. relapse is inevitable in recovery, but he’ll be okay before you know it. Let’s have hope, yeah?” Namjoon patted Jungkook’s shoulder and rested his hand onto where he was clasping his neck, rubbing the tense muscles there until Jungkook let go of his death grip that he had on himself. Taehyung had brought him into a tight hug, also crying. Namjoon headed off to wash the tube and leave the two to talk.Yoongi was holding onto Hoseok’s hand so tightly he thought the bones would break. The younger knew just how much Yoongi worried for Jimin, so it was no wonder he was acting so jumpy. It wasn’t too dark outside despite being early morning so if any of the three saw Jimin they could make him out quite easily. Based on how all his jackets, hoodies and coats were either on the coat hooks or in his closet, he wasn’t wearing much to keep himself warm. Even still, Yoongi was eyeing every person he saw walking around, looking for defining features. Seokjin was doing the same, but it was less obvious looking. Eventually, they reached an empty looking park save for one figure hunched over a bench.“Jimin-ah?” Hoseok called out as they neared the bench, noticing the rugged breathing of the figure. Jimin eventually lifted his head.“What— what are you guys doing out so early?”“Jimin.” Yoongi sighed sadly and pulled the boy up for a warming hug. “I think we should be asking you that.”“I just wanted to,” Jimin paused, rational thought beginning to seep in again and the sudden realisation of how cold he was made him shiver. “I- I’m sorry. I failed, I didn’t like how the tube felt and I wanted to burn off the calories. I was starting to feel like a monster.” He coughed as the tears fell, shivering more and more as he realised his mistake.“Let’s go home, Jiminie.” Hoseok held out the spare jacket he’d brought with him, wrapping it around Jimin’s shoulders when he didn’t react at first. Seokjin comforted him on their way home, holding his hand and talking about how no one’s mad and he doesn’t need to be sorry.He still apologised as he was met with Jungkook and Taehyung’s dishevelled selves, Namjoon also looking like he was near tears.Jimin definitely learned from relapse. He’d be back on his feet again before he knew it.“I’m sorry, Jungkook-ah.” The Busan boys intertwined into a loose hug, Jungkook holding onto Jimin’s forearms as the elder rested his head on his friend’s shoulder. They were both too tired. “I’ll put the tube back in. I’m sorry. I was starting to feel gross with it in, I— I promise I’ll never do it again.”“You don’t need to say that, Hyung.” Jungkook breathed a little shakily, rocking Jimin gently from side to side. “If you do do it again I won’t be mad. I know you don’t do it with a clear state of mind. You can’t control that.”A bump in the road had thrown them a little off track, but nonetheless, Jimin was ready to continue on.