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“Ooh, that looks so good! Could just scoot a little closer together?” The photographer asked, once more firing off her camera at the lucky couple.
“Like this?” Tanya moved in closer to Ruby, basically draping herself across Ruby's side and putting her hand across the deep, revealing cleavage of Ruby's dress.
Ruby smiled as she felt Tanya's hand splayed across her skin, and responded by wrapping her arm around her waist, keeping her close to her as they posed and angling a straying hand down towards Tanya's ass. She knew her fiance would not object, and that the photographer would love it.
“Yes, just like that!” The photographer agreed, zooming in to make sure she caught the straying hands in the photos. “And now, flash those jewels!” She ordered.
Obediently, Tanya and Ruby lifted their hands, displaying their wedding rings with perfect show-biz smiles on their faces and letting the photographer take all the photos she needed.
When it had come up, Ruby had initially been very opposed to big photo sessions and revealing interviews, but it had still quickly turned out that with Tanya's and her scandalous history with love, they could hardly keep it all private.
So Tanya had used her status as Ruby's manager to her advantage, going ahead and picking the paper with the best reputation for respect and accurate retellings of the information they were given, offering them and them alone their love story.
Hearing that Tanya had limited the story to one magazine alone, Ruby had felt great relief. She liked the idea of minimal publicity and keeping things private, but had clearly not expected it, a fact that reminded Tanya of how badly her old managers way of business actually reflected Ruby's own thoughts and opinions.
At her core, Ruby was a very private person who liked to keep things to herself, but had since the start of her career never been afforded the luxury.
“I love you” Tanya whispered, her head rested sweetly on Ruby's shoulder.
Ruby turned to look at her in surprise, her shock not allowing her to react before the photographer called quits, and before she knew it Tanya was slipping away from her and going for her coat and phone.
Ruby sighed fondly. Tanya took her position as Ruby's manager seriously, and it seemed to be working rather well. The only downside was the way it seemed to distract Tanya from her at times. Still, Ruby felt too grateful to even consider say anything against it.
Grabbing her own coat and slipping it on, she catches the eye of the photographer and she watch her over the top of the computer.
“I'll let the magazine pick their favourite photos, and email them to you for approval later this week.” She said, smiling shyly at the star watching her. Ruby Sheridan had been an idol growing up, and she adored her still. To get to cover her new engagement was huge. “The magazine is set to hit stores next Friday, so there'll be time over if anything happens.”
“It'll be fine I’m sure” Ruby assured her, smiling and trying to be encouraging for the young woman. The magazine wasn't one of the largest and most well-known once, and this was a very big pr gig that she was probably terrified to fuck up. “You did a very good job”
The effect was immediate. The young photographer smiled like the sun, practically glowing at the compliment. “Thank you Miss Sheridan”
“You're welcome.” Walking out of the studio, Ruby made sure to flash the girl one last well-mannered smile as she walked out the door.
After all, it never hurt to try and make someone else's day as bright as yours.
“Oh come on, he can't be that stupid. Threatening with a lawsuit? For what? He doesn't have any evidence, and I looked over every paragraph of that contract myself before we fired the dude!” Tanya exclaimed, upset. “If he drags us to court he might as well ask to do it on Judge Judy, it's ridiculous!” Tanya talked on, leaning over to give Ruby a brief kiss as she came up to her out on the street. “Look, I got to go, but you tell him he can do whatever he wants. There is no way he'll win, either way.” She hung up, turning to give Ruby her full attention.
“Everything okay?” Ruby asked. “Who is threatening to drag us to court?”
Tanya singh. “Your ex-manager. But the shit head got no case, his claims doesn't make sense and he'll lose if he actually take it all the way, so you don't have to worry.”
“You sure?” Ruby could feel her gut twisting with worry. She had feared something like this since she fired him, and now her worst nightmares were coming through.
“Yes” Putting a hand on Ruby's neck, Tanya leaned forward and kissed her. Sensing that Ruby needed some distraction, she then moved on to happier news. “Your friend Letterman want you on
My next guest needs no introduction,
by the way
.
”
Ruby laughed the kiss and the good news indeed distracting her. “David want me to be a part of everything he does! How many times was I on Letterman before he stopped doing it?” She asked. “I don't even know myself!”
David Letterman, in Ruby's opinion, was one of the most annoying persons to ever walk the Earth, and yet still somehow a very good friend. If nothing else, all they did was in good humour, and she knew he could be trusted.
“So is that a no?” Tanya teased, raising a brow. She'd seen many an episode of Letterman featuring Ruby Sheridan, and she knew they had an amazing repertoire that transcended time and space. It didn't matter how and when, as soon as they were put together there were sparks flying between them.
“No, silly, it's a yes!” Ruby countered, faking being offended. “If you don't see any trouble with it, it'll be my pleasure to get interviewed by him.” She bit her lip, pausing. “He
will
be quizzing me about my engagement to you, though. I'm pretty certain he's interviewed me for just about every single one of my previous engagements, and I just know he'll want the story on this one too.”
Tanya nodded. “Yeah, well, even if you do spill something to him it won't be aired until long after the magazine hit the stores. We promised them to be first and to be the only magazine, which means you'll be in the clear no matter what happens on Letterman.” Tanya promised, her arm pulled tight around Ruby's waist to hold her close to her. She liked feeling the warm weight under her arm, a happy reminder that life was as good as it could ever be. “That said, you don’t need to go into all too intimate detail of our love life if you don't want to. You have your right to privacy, even with guys like Letterman.”
Ruby nodded, her head rested against Tanya's shoulder. “Don't worry about it. I've been fighting this particular bull long enough to know how to control him.” Ruby promised, impulsively reaching up and giving Tanya another sweet kiss. “Just promise me you‘ll say something if that lawsuit turn real serious, okay?” She begged, the fear from before suddenly coming back to kick her in the stomach. “I trust your judgement, but I've seen many a star go down in court over the years, and I don't want that for us.” She grabbed Tanya's hand, squeezing it tight.
“It will be
fine.
I will keep you up to date, and if something changes in all this you'll be the first to know.” Tanya assured her once more, giving Ruby another passionate kiss and smearing her lipstick just slightly. Then, she pulled at her hand to make them walk a little quicker to the car that was waiting for them. “Now come on, I gotta call Letterman and you have to pick up Sophie at the airport.”
“Oh god! Sophie! We were going to go dress shopping…” Ruby exclaimed, entirely having forgotten her granddaughter in the midst of it all. “I promised I’d pick a dress from a designer friend of mine. He's given me 4 wedding dresses that were never used, he so wanted me to pick his this time to, and maybe have it down the aisle at last.” Despite how excited Ruby was to share this experience with Sophie, there was still a tiny, familiar ache in a specific corner of her heart. A dull ache that was almost as familiar as Tabya, by now. She had expected to share it with her daughter, not her granddaughter, and it hurt that Donna was not around for this.
“I'm sure it will be amazing.” Tanya said enthusiastically, trying to be encouraging as she caught a glimpse of something sad in those big, dark eyes. They had agreed to shop for dresses seperate of one another, just as any other couple would, sticking to the tradition of not seeing one another in the clothes until the wedding day. “Now hurry, I don't want you to be late!” She told her, directing her to the car that was waiting on the curb.
“Alright, alright! Take it easy. I'm going” Ruby laughed, leaning in for one last kiss as she climbed into the car. “See you tonight” She promised as the car rolled away, a hand waving at Tanya put the window. Undignified for a celebrity, but cute for a loving partner.
“See you” Tanya watched her go, a disbelieving smile on her face. Even after so many months, it felt hard to believe that she was going to marry Ruby. That in less than year, she was going to get to call her her
wife.
Tanya couldn't wait.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“What do you think Sophie?” Ruby turned around to face her granddaughter, showing her the latest dress. Her movements were quick and fluid, and the stiff fabric of the short skirt beat against her knees. “Do you like it?”
Sophie observed her grandmother sceptically, trying to form an opinion. The dress did much to flatter her figure, but was all too similar to what she might wear any given day. “Weeell…it's very pretty. It flatters you.” She began carefully, not wanting to disappoint Ruby if she really liked the dress. It was, after all, her choice. “But I don't think it's the one. It sort of reminds me of stuff you've worn before.”
Hearing this, Ruby breathed a sigh of relief. She'd been afraid her granddaughter would actually fall in love with the piece. “Yeah, I don't like it much either.” She watch her mirror image sceptically, touching the deep neckline and short skirt. “Maybe something a bit more covering, with a longer skirt? I know short and sexy is my gimmick, but I don't think it's the road I want to go.”
Sophie nodded. “If you want. It's important you feel comfortable.” She could tell Ruby wasn't comfortable in what she was wearing, anxiously twisting and turning as though she wanted to crawl out of both the dress and her own skin. “Do you even like wearing short skirts like that? I know you do a lot, but sometimes you look so uncomfortable.”
“That's my mother's doing, I suppose. She'd turn over in her grave if she saw half my wardrobe.” Ruby huffed angrily, dropping down on the couch next to Sophie. “Luckily, she is most likely dead by now. She deserves it.”
“My great-grandma...I don't think mum ever mentioned her. Then again she hardly mentioned you either.” Sophie said curiously, sitting up a little straighter to look at her grandmother. “What do you mean luckily? Do you want your mum to be dead?”
Ruby bit her lip. “She couldn't have. Donna never met my mum. I haven’t seen my mum since
I
was 15.” Suddenly tired, she rubbed at her eye as she continued her story. This was going to be a long explanation. “My mum was just sixteen when she had me, and she didn't even want me. She didn't want any of my siblings either, for that matter, but at least she liked
their
dad.” It was a difficult story to tell, but she felt as though Sophie deserved to know whatever she wanted.
Ruby was done with trying to hide from her past, and most of all she was done trying to hide it from others.
“Oh” Seeing the upset look on her grandmother’s face, Sophie felt guilty for asking, yet at the same time it seemed to explain a lot. Naturally, Ruby struggled to connect to her family and to be a good parent and grandmother, when she had never known a mothers love herself. “I'm sorry you had to live with that. I'm sure she didn’t hate you as much as you think.”
“Trust me, Sophie, she did.” Ruby said seriously, appreciating the comfort but don't wanting to kid herself. Her mother had never loved her, it was a fact. “I was miserable at home and ran away when I was fifteen. Had your mum three years later and at that point I knew for certain I wasn't going
back
.” She explained matter of factly, tears nonetheless stinging in her eyes. Since the day she jumped out the window of her bedroom and disappeared, she had never wondered what became of neither her parents nor her many siblings. She was at peace with her disconnect. “I only wish I could have been more successful with Donna. I always thought I'd be better than my mum but in the end I really wasn't.”
“But of course you were!” Horrified, Sophie protested. She knew Ruby wasn't perfect, but she did not think she was truly a bad mother. Once, she had, but not any longer. “Mum missed you. Maybe she didn't like to say it but she did. She had a hole collection of photos of you that she’d bring out on your birthday and put up on the table and…”
A gentle cough by her ear interrupted Sophie. “Everything going good ladies? Find anything you like?” Bob, an elderly designer and - apparently - a very old friend of Ruby’s, asked.
Ruby shook her head. “Not yet. We were just discussing that we thought this” She gestured to the skimpy white piece she was still wearing. “Is a bit too much. I was thinking something more modest and less...costumy.”
Bob smiled softly, nodding. “I got a few of those too, Ruby, and if I have to you know I will design something especially for you. Let's go have a look, shall we?” He smiled, gesturing Ruby off the platform and on into the next room, before looking back at Sophie. “You can come too, little miss Sheridan. I bet you have many good ideas.” He winked at her, and she nodded enthusiastically.
Sophie laughed, happily joining the two of them as they walked into the next room “Oh, I got ideas. I just don't know if grandma will like them.” She joked, ready to say something more but finding herself stunned silent at what she saw on the other side of the door.
The hole room that opened up before them was covered in pristine white wedding dresses from top to bottom. Bejeweled, skimpy, shire and ruffled... Just looking at the few racks closest had her convinced there was nothing that Sophie couldn't find in that room, and it was amazing.
Ruby saw Sophie's amazement, and understood the feeling. She too had been awestruck the first time she had entered the room, but the fifth time she took it in stride.
Slowly, deliberate, she walked further inside the room, scanning the racks for something that might catch her interest. Eventually, she stops by a rack of ball gowns, flipping through them. They're all huge a puffy and glittering with rhinestones, but despite being the epicenter of every little girl's dream, they don't appeal to Ruby at all.
“See something you like grandma?” Sophie sneaks up from behind, surprising Ruby with her question. A small hand feel the fabric of the dress she's looking at. “They're awfully pretty”
“Yeah, no” Ruby laughed, pulling Sophie close and giving her a little hug. “I think I should look for something a bit more form fitting.”
“True. There may be a problem getting through the door in these!” Sophie agreed, laughing along with Ruby and hugging her back. “Come on, I think I saw some slimmer dresses over here.” She took her grandmother's hand, dragging her across the room under amused observation of the store owner.
“Alright, alright” Ruby laughed, again, unable to feel anything but happy to be sharing this experience with Sophie. “God, you're really hyped about this aren’t you?”
“Of course I am! You're getting married!” Sophie exclaimed, basically jumping up and down in front of the dress rack. “I never got to do this with mum! We ordered my dress online and then she got married at
my
wedding!” She groaned, rolling her eyes. “But now I get look at dresses with you
and
Tanya!”
“Tanya invited you too?” Ruby felt surprised, trying to hide it as she flipped through some of the dresses Sophie had spotted. The designs were slimmer, but they still shimmered with jewels, and she quickly found herself discarding one daring neckline after another.
“Yeah. I mean, I'm her goddaughter. She's my aunt. Despite the fact that we're actually a pretty large family, you two are going to have to share a lot” Sophie said, smiling. Then as she turned to the dresses and frowned. “None of these are right, are they?” She asked.
“I thought she'd take Rosie and I'd take you. Then again, knowing my fiance, she's probably hogging the both of you.” Ruby sigh. “No, it's all jewels and necklines down to your navel. If I'm going to buy any of these, I might as well use one of my stage costumes. Bob's designed a number of those over the years too.”
“Yeah…” Sophie bit her lip, the two of them continuing in silence to look through the racks and discarding more and more dresses.
For a moment, it seemed almost completely hopeless, and Sophie actually began to think Ruby was
never
going to find a dress.
“Sophie...little girl, come here!”
Turning around, Sophie saw Bob the designer gesturing for her to come from an open doorway. His gaze kept straying to Ruby, and Sophie got the messages. As quietly as she could she sneaked across the room towards him, doing her very best not to attract her grandmother's attention.
“There you are” Bob smiled. “Come in here, I think I might've found your grandmother's wedding dress” He said, quickly ushering her on into the next room and quietly closing the door behind her.
At first, the next room didn't appear very special to Sophie. It was a room like the other one only smaller and less crowded. The dresses, however, all appeared the same and she could not figure out what he had wanted to show her. That was, however, before her eyes landed on the large box standing on the floor in front of a naked mannequin.
Carefully, still sneaking despite the fact that it was only her and Bob, Sophie approached the box, sliding off the dust covered lid to find a sea of red silk and white lace inside.
“I designed this for your grandmother a long time ago. She was suppose to wear it in some music video, but it never happened, so she let me have it back as a memorabilia instead. She didn't need it then, anyway.” Bob explained. With one swooping gesture, he pulled it out and showed it off to his audience. “What do you think?”
Sophie starred at it in amazement. It was made out of pure white lace with bright red ruffle details that went across the chest and over the shoulders, as well as decorating the hem of the dress. Down by the feet.
“I know it's a bit see-through” Bob chuckled. “There was white silk dress to go under it, but it's been lost with time. I can easily design a new one though if she likes this.”
“It's absolutely amazing. It's exactly the kind of dress grandma wanted. No jewels and a high neckline.” Sophie said, still breathless with awe. She ran a hand over the white lace, admiring the flower pattern in it. It was absolutely perfect. “You need to show grandma this.”
“Oh my god! Bob! I didn’t even know that still existed.” Ruby exclaimed from the other side of the drape that separated her from her waiting audience. “Wasn't this meant for the ‘I found someone’ video? It was forever and a half ago. And a bit more sad than my upcoming wedding.”
“You told me you never used it, and I could have it back. I've saved every single one of the clothes you let me have back. Never could throw anything out.” Bob said. “Sophie really really liked it, so we thought we'd show it to you.”
“Well, it's certainly special, no doubt about it” Ruby said, carefully pulling it on. Even after so many years, it was not even tight. In fact, some places almost felt a little closer than they had be. She shook her head, telling herself they just probably never did the final adjustments as she decided not to use it. Either that, or she didn't remember the dress very well. “I don't know if I could actually use it for my wedding though.”
She looks at the mirror picture, and finds that she dislikes the full head of hair hanging down over her shoulders. Carefully, she pull out a hair tie from her handbag and gathering it all up into a know towering on the top of her head. Loose strands fell down to frame her face, and she felt quite satisfied with what she saw.
“Grandma? Are you ready to come out?” Sophie asked, soon having grown tired and waiting for her grandmother to come out. “Do you need any help putting it on?”
Suddenly, as if awakening from a dream, Ruby shuddered violently. “No, no it's fine. I'm coming.” Not daring to look back at the mirror out of fear for what it shows, Ruby steps out from behind the curtain to show her granddaughter the dress.
Sophie watches in anticipation as her grandmother come walking out, and nearly scream when she see her in the dress. It look even more beautiful than she imagined it would when she first saw it, and the loose knot she’d twister her long black hair into was perfect to accompany it.
It was
perfect
Excited, she jump up from the chair and grab her grandmother's arms. “You look amazing! This
have
to be your dress.” Her exclamation is excited, but the look in her grandmother's eyes is crushed, and Sophie feels that what she said was not what she should've said. “Oh my god you hate it don't you? You think it's horrible!” She let go of her grandmother, backing away as though she was the one at fault with a horrified look on her face.
Ruby feels as though her heart is about to burst. “No! Sophie I love it, I promise you I do” She moves forward towards her, her toes shuffling against the red ruffles decorating the hem of the dress while the long train dragged behind her. She reach out, and she takes Sophie's hands. “There's nothing wrong with the dress. In fact, it is absolutely perfect. I love it so much.” She doesn't lie. She loves the dress, and could not imagine something better for the wedding, but it brings her to a stark realisation about the reality that is her life.
Ruby want to run, but knows she can't do that anymore. Because she is happy, and no matter what happens, she doesn't want to lose that happiness.
Even though its if it means standing still.
“Then what's wrong?” Sophie looks at her grandmother's panicked deer in the headlight eyes, and she wonders what is happening inside her brain. “Do you not want to get married? Is that it? Oh you're having doubts about Tanya…” She asks, and she prays the answer is no, but the terrified look implies something completely else.
Ruby swallows hard. “I...I don't.” She close her eyes, holding back against the tears threatening there. She’s old, but she is happy, and the reality that knocks on her door is nothing like what she had expected from herself at this point.
A part of her had never even thought she'd get this far. Not when she spent so many years alone, not eating or sleeping and drinking and working all hours of the day.
Still, by some miracle from a god above, she stayed alive long enough to see her life turn into something a thousand times better.
“It's okay grandma. Whatever it is,it'll be okay.” Sophie pulls Ruby close, hugging her as tight as she dared. “Ypu don't have anything you don't want to.” She doesn't know what the outburst is about, or what waits for them moving forward, but she knows that whatever is to come she will stick by her grandmother.
Her happiness was all Sophie wanted.
Feeling Sophie's arm holding her close is just what Ruby needs and it gives her a grounding sensation, bringing her back down to Earth and allowing her to gather her thoughts as she leans against her grandchild's shoulder.
She let go of her tears and hug Sophie tightly back. Then, she smile. “I am just happy.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Tanya!”
A hand grabs onto her arm from behind, pulling hard and turning her towards them. It’s sudden, and Tanya almost scream out of instinct before she sees the face that look back at her.
“Greg!” Tanya exclaim, smiling in surprise and shock at the sight of her first ex-husband. “Oh my god, it's been forever, how are you?” She then exclaims, trying her best to appear friendly. They both know why they haven’t seen each other in so, so long, but for the moment they can have fun and pretend she didn't steal the majority of his money and tanked his reputation.
They can pretend that she didn't come back to his bed when things went south with his replacement.
“Yes, well,
someone
has moved on
again
.” He holds up her left hand, shaking it in front of her face to make a point. The gold ring with the blue sapphire glittered in the sunlight. “I've been out of the country forever on dull business trips, so you have to catch me up on the gossip. You did away with Brian, and now…who?”
Tanya laughed, snatching her hand free with a playful smile. “Ruby Sheridan.” She said confidently. “Fianceé, wife come fall. If you want more info you can get an online subscription. How about you?”
“Well, I have been…” Greg began to talk, but then fell quite as he seemed to process what she had told him. “Oh god, please tell me you're kidding.” He suddenly pleaded, chuckling nervously and throwing an arm around Tanya's shoulders. “I mean, Ruby Sheridan?
The
Ruby Sheridan? You gonna go marry
that
bitch?”
“Yes I am! And she is not a Bitch, she’s my fiancé. I love her.” Tanya responded with hostility, angry that Greg would act that way. “Stop being such a fucking jerk!” She exclaimed, ducking out of his grip.
“Woah! Take it easy stupid” Greg laughed, his hand soon back between her shoulder blades. “I'm just speaking the truth. I mean, not that it was yesterday exactly, but when
I
dated her…” He shuddered. “Biggest mistake ever did. Horrible fucking diva, and then she blamed it on me when we broke up. Cried her heart out to all the magazines, wah wah.” He whined, imitating a crying baby. “That attitude, with your history? It spells trouble for both of you. ”
Tanya stared at him, shocked. “You dated her? Seriously? Why the fuck would you be interested in someone that intelligent? You didn't even want me once you found out I wasn't a brown-haired version of a bimbo.” Tanya questioned, half-amused and half-disgusted. Greg preferred bimbos and he preferred them as blonde as they come. They both knew it. “We get along amazingly and we're both completely dedicated to this relationship!” She explained simply, defending herself and Ruby. “I don't need warnings from you! I proposed to her and she said yes. I know what I'm doing!” She argued, defending herself and Ruby. “So leave my love life alone you shithole!”
Greg backed away a little, hand sup in front of him to defend himself. “Fine! I just care about you, okay? I know you think it's all fun and games, playing around and getting your money's worth when you're done, but not with
her
. You don't fuck over Ruby Sheridan, you just don't. Not even your lawyer skills can break that woman.” He shook his head, hands put up defensively to shield himself from Tanya. “Do what you want pumpkin. It's not my place, but if you think it will be even half as satisfying as being with any of us real men were, then forget it.” His smile is razor sharp and his voice on the wrong side of flattering, but Tanya is too caught up in the conversation to notice.
“You care? Really? When did you decide to start doing that? Last time I looked we were sleeping together. Sex, then gone before morning, as you told me yourself.” Tanya couldn't believe it. How could he say such things with a straight face? “Fuck off. Seriously.” Pulling her arm free, Tanya began to walk away.
“Oh, come on sweetie! Don't be like this!” As soon as Tanya moved, Greg came chasing after, his grip much tighter as her took her arm again. “Come back to my place. We can talk more about this...it'll be just like old times” Despite her best efforts to protest, he soon had her held flush against her, embracing her in what must, from the outside, appear a tight hug. “In the bedroom, or the kitchen, if you still prefer that.”
“What?!” Tanya nearly screamed, again, but a pair of fingers against her lips silence her.
“Schh, no need to be so loud honey” He tell her in the most sickeningly sweet voice she's ever heard. Making sure to keep a toght grip on her, he brings her wrists up to his lips, kissing them lovingly as though she was his partner again.
Horror stricken at the way this man - once a genuine, trustworthy partner - is treating her, Tanya intensifies her efforts to break free but to no avail. It doesn't work. “This isn't funny Greg! I’m
engaged
, I'm not going to sleep with you!” She pull, but it does no good. “Let me go!” Her
got her pinned against him, too strong to allow her to break free, and for the first time she begins to wonder what might happen once he gets her off the street and into the privacy of his home or a car.
Greg smile is blinding, an amused chuckle passing over his lips as though Tanya's fear is only making her all the more appealing. “You don’t need a pitiful, drama prone woman like Ruby in your life. Why do you even want a woman to fuck? You don't like girls.” He smile devilishly, bending in to steal a kiss before she can protest.
The kiss is the last straw. Before he can touch her lips with his, Tanya reacts. Fueled by both genuine fear and disgust, she jams her knee straight up between Greg’s legs, using the momentum to break free of his weakened grasp and run as fast as she can.
His cologne cling to her skin and the knowledge of what he wanted to do to her beat like a drum inside her skull. It keeps her pulse high and force her blistering feet in the slim stilettos to keep on moving ahead without daring to pause or look back.
None of what happened truly registers on a conscious level, not yet, and as Tanya run there is but one single thing she wants and need.
Ruby
After fumbling with the keyes forever, Tanya finally managed to open the door to the house and rush inside, slipping and stumbling across Ruby’s well-polished wooden floor as she looked around her for the other woman.
“Ruby!” she calls for her, not wanting to sound pathetic but feeling so desperate to have Ruby in her arms that it physically hurt her heart.
“Tanya, I'm here, what…” Ruby comes walking out of the kitchen, an apron tied around her waist and big, dark eyes looking at her in obvious confusion. Some of Tanya's distress must show on her face and in her voice, because she never finished the sentence. “Is everything okay? What's wrong?”
Tanya doesn't answer. She doesn't dare to answer, because she is quite certain that will equal a full on teary break-down with tears and snot and whatever else nay come out of her. Instead, she give in to the urge bubbling inside her and run straight for her partner, wrapping her arms tight around Ruby's neck. “Tell me you love me” She manages between sobs, her head hidden against her shoulder and the tears coming despite her best efforts.
“Tanya!” Ruby chuckles, but there is more fear than happiness on the sound. Her arm sneaks around Tanya's waist, holding her as close as she can. ”Don't be silly. You know how I feel.”
Ruby had had a wonderful if emotional day, spending time with her grandchild and looking forward to the fast approaching wedding day.
Tanya, clearly, had a completely different day.
“Say it. Tell me that you love me and that you will never hurt me” Tanya feels as though she has no confidence and no reassurance. Her heart is breaking over the words her ex husband told her and she fear, she absolutely fear that Ruby has been lying all along. Not only that, but she can remember the feeling of his hard hands holding her trapped, and she wants to replace the unwelcome touch with Ruby's sweet embrace.
The memories of her earlier divorces, turbulent endings to years of heartbreak and abuse, stare her down from some distant place in both the future and the past like a demon looking for her soul, and she don't know how to face it.
“Yes. Of course I would never hurt you. ” Ruby feel terrified, rushing to utter the words and worrying that she is about to lose something very, very dear. She only just realized how much all this ment and she could not loose it again. ”You know I love you more than anything Tanya! Why are you asking this?”
Tanya hold her breath. She knows she has to answer, but she doesn't want to. She feel scared and she doesn't know how Ruby might react to what had happened.
“Grandma, is everything alright out there?” Sophie comes out of the kitchen, seemingly surprised to find them hugging each other hard.
Tanya froze. In her panic, she’d all but forgotten about their houseguest, and now she'd made herself known again in the most unfortunate way.
“Sophie, could you gives a moment?” Ruby speak with more confidence than she feel, still holding on to Tanya as she glance back at her grandchild. Blue eyes stare at her pleadingly, but Ruby can't help her. “Continue cooking and we'll be with you in a second, okay?”
Sophie swallows heart, a visible feeling of discomfort sweeping over her at the request, but she nodded and oblie. “Of course” She says, spinning around on her heels and high tailing it back to the kitchen.
“I think Sophie thinks we’re treating her like a child” Tanya whispered, her hot breath tickling Ruby's skin.
“Doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you're okay.” Ruby replies, parting from Tanya at last as a black puppy dog come to nestle in between them. She carefully bent over and picked it up, holding Espresso in her arm for a moment before handing him over to Tanya. “Tell me what happened. I'm sure you'll feel better then.”
“I met my ex. My first husband, Greg.” Tanya explained, petting the soft fur of the tiny comfort and seeking comfort from the warm weight contently resting in her arms. “Told him about you, and, as it turned out, he had some very strong opinions on you.” She was going to say more, to tell her how close it had come to her being forced into something she most definitely had not wanted, but there is no energy and no voice.
“Greg? Funny, I…” The words die on Ruby's tongue, a terrifying realisation hitting her like a hit to the head. “oh no” She couldn't mean what Ruby though she did. Could she?
“Oh yeah. Same Greg, apparently. Not that I knew.” Tanya nod, slightly amused by the expression on Ruby’s face, but still quite upset. Ruby holds her close, and she focus on her touch to forget Greg's. “Now I know all about your dramatic break up.” She joked once more, yet again omitting what had almost happened.
“What? No! He lied! It's not true.” All it takes is a single sentence for Ruby to almost explode, bursting open in the seams. Of all disastrous relationships she had somehow survived, this had been the worst one. There was million things Greg might have told Tanya about her, and she feared for what her partner might think she knew of her now. “It wasn't my fault. I wasn't a diva. I was completely submissive to him and let him do whatever he wanted, yet he...he still tried to throw me in the dirt! He made
me
the bad one when it ended.” It was scary how clearly it came back to her. The years of not being controle of her own life, the tears she hadn't been strong enough to hide from the press once she finally escaped and his sharp, angry taunting, making her emotions seem false and over-sensitive.
“Hey, it's okay. It was just a joke.” Tanya was surprised to see the way Ruby crumbled over a simple joke. Clearly, the way Greg had treated her out in the street was not something entirely new. Based on the fragmented sentence Ruby had managed to squeeze out, it was a pattern, and that thought alone scared Tanya more than anything she'd felt in a long time. “I'd never believe a single word Greg say. I don't believe you're a horrible diva.” Tanya want to heal Ruby. She has the memories of the way he acted fresh in her mind, the adrenalin of the escape barely having worn off, and she didn't want to imagine Ruby in the same situation, unlike her failing to break free in time.
It all surprised Tanya. When she had been married to him, he had not been perfect, but never this forceful. Never had she felt the terror Ruby so clearly associated with his name.
“Oh” Ruby breathed, tears running down her face that she tried her best to hide. “I’m so pathetic. You're all scared, and what do I do? Collapse too.” She pulled her hands across her cheeks, trying to remove the tears before they ruined her make-up completely. She didn't want Tanya to know how deeply the thought of Greg still harmed her, but it was hard to keep control as the memories rushed through her head like a rainfall flooding a river.
Tanya almost laughed, carefully handing Espresso back to Ruby while she bent down to pick up Latte instead. “Like you told me, it's okay. The only thing that matters is that you're okay.”
“I still feel...I mean, I don't know how you and Greg were? I didn't know he married you. But...he wasn't nice. When I saw him. So if it's fine with you I think we should go back to cooking and forget anything related to him ever happened.” Ruby smiled, cuddling Espresso close. One day, she promised herself she would tell Tanya the hole story. But that day was not today.
“Absolutely” Tanya didn't want to let it go. She recognized all the techniques Ruby used to minimize and hide her own feelings when she thought she was overreacting, and she wanted to stop her.
Tanya wanted to keep on talking to Ruby until she broke down and she could assure her that her feelings were never, ever invalid.
But there's Sophie cooking in the kitchen and Tanya's own nerves still frayed from the emotional, exhaustion run-in with their mutual ex. It's the wrong time and none of them are in the right state of mind to have that kind of talk, so she let it go.
She grabs Ruby's arm and hold it tight, leading them both - each carrying a black puppy on their arm while the third one could be heard yapping away in the kitchen - towards the sounds and heavenly smell of pasta Carbonara.
It's a peaceful, domestic scene of the kind that featured in home magazines, but to Tanya it's all tapestry and lies. A wall that locks away the worries and the fears from the blue eyed blonde waiting for her grandmother and aunt to come eat their dinner.
It's all that they can do, and Tanya'll be damned if they can't keep it together for an evening.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Are you still awake?” Tanay tried to look angry, tried to gather the energy to berate Ruby for still being up at 3 AM, but found she couldn’t. Instead, she sank down on the rickety IKEA chair next to her fianceé and sighed. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? What happened to you? I was very careful not to wake you up on the couch.” Ruby rebuked, perhaps a little more aggressively than intended. She knew Tanya had still been asleep when she’d pulled free of Sophie and tip-toed her way to the kitchen for a late-night snack, but now she was clearly wide awake all of a sudden.
A beat of silence follows the snappy answer, then Tanya start to speak. “Had a nightmare” She confessed quietly. She didn’t elaborate, still uncertain if she wanted Ruby to know everything that had went down during her run in with Greg, but hopes that it might be enough. “It was pretty gruesome.”
“You and me both.” Ruby sighed, her face burying in her hands as her girlfriend sat down next to her. “I know it's stupid, but I’m still thinking about Greg. No matter what I do, I can’t
stop
thinking about him! He's just...there, in my head. Always.” She ball her hands into fists, grabbing onto fistfulls of her long black hair and tugging at it so hard it hurt her scalp.
“I know how you feel. He’s an abusive shithead.” Tanya agreed quietly, a little shocked to see Ruby displaying such obvious signs of anxiety and frustration. Then, she sighed deeply and gently removed Ruby's hands from her hair. “When I met Greg earlier he grabbed onto me and offered for me to sleep with him. When I refused he tried to kiss me. He held onto me so tight I couldn't break free and I...I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't jammed a knee in his crotch when I did. That's why I was so upset when I came home.” She spoke fast and didn't stop nor look at Ruby until she was finished, first then daring to glance over at her.
“He did that? To you?” Ruby’s face went pale, her mouth opening slightly. “I can't believe he dared to touch like that!” Tears burned in her eyes, and she did her best to swallow them, hands shaking as she tried to rain in her uncontrollable anger. A thousand horrifying memories flashed by in her head, and she felt as though the sandwiches she'd had for a midnight snack might be coming back up out of pure disgust.
“It's okay. I kicked him in the nuts, and I got away. It was scary but it's over and I'm safe. He won't be trying this again I'm certain.” Tanya comforted quietly, pulling Ruby into a hug. She was getting increasingly loud, and Tanya feared it might wake up Sophie. The last thing the girl needed was to see her grandmother this way. “We're okay.” She assured her.
“Are we? Really?“ Ruby looked at Tanya, her voice hard and her expression angry. “Just admit it Tanya! Everything has been going wrong for me since I came back to the States. Fernando died, I'm getting sued and...and now this!” She cries. She cries because she is so, so tired. Of herself, of the world, of everyone that ever decided to hate her whether they had reason to or not.
“I told you you don't have to worry about the lawsuit. It'll be dismissed the second it reached an actual judge.” Tanya argued softly, rubbing Ruby’s shoulder. The tears frightened her, and she did not quite know how to address them. “Look, I don't think it's all bad here in America... but I do miss Kalokairi. And I think we should go back there as soon as we can, because clearly we're happier there than here.” She stated, because she could tell that was what Ruby wanted. And not just wanted, but
needed
.
As much Tanya didn't give a shit where they were living, she worried about what would happen to Ruby if she insisted for them to stay in America. Stress, fear and pain seemed to follow her both literally and figuratively as she tried to go on living her life in America.
Going back to Greece could change all that, and Tanya was willing to try it.
“I agree” Ruby sighed, leaning against Tanya. Looking up into her blue eyes, she smiled slightly. “You should go back to Greece with Sophie when she leaves at the end of the week.” She encouraged, reaching out to give Tanya a kiss. “You can get someone else to run my case in court, can't you?”
“Yes? If I want to. It's not hard.” Tanya reciprocated the kiss, enjoying Ruby's lips against her own without any sticky lipstick in between. “I’d have to rearrange my plans for dress shopping before the wedding, but it could work. What about you, then?”
“I’ll do
My next guest
with Letterman, and then I get on the first plane home.” Ruby replied, a happy smile playing on her lips as she leaned against Tanya. “But you can go ahead with Sophie before me. Watch me on the tv over there and know I'll be with you in no time at all.”
“Sounds like a plan” Tanya nodded, knowing that even if she didn’t want to leave Ruby alone for even a week, Ruby would not budge. For once, she wasn't keen to argue, either. Instead, she cracked a smile. “Are the dogs coming with us?” She asked teasingly.
“Yes” Ruby replied seriously. “I always miss them like crazy when I'm gone you know.” She said seriously, glancing over to the corner of the room to the mountain of black fur resting on a blanket. “I stayed in Greece for almost a whole year last time, and then I was without them for another month or two when I got back because I was up here in New York...I almost thought I’d go crazy without them at the end of it.” She laugh, but somewhere beneath it it is still obvious she really do mean to bring them with her. “You don't think Sophie will mind, do you? I can just call Pauly…”
Her hand is already moving across the table towards the Iphone deposited on the other side, but Tanya put her hand on top of hers before she can grab it.
Pulling Ruby closer to her with her free arm and lovingly cuddling her, Tanya attempts to soothe her frazzled mind. “I am sure Sophie will let you bring the dogs, if you just ask nicely. She knows you love those dogs as though they were your kids” A sudden, abrupt pause occupies a few seconds worth of space as Tanya have to time to realize exactly how ill fitted that statement is, but she soon recovered. “Sophie love those dogs too. I'm certain she'd love to have them around her more permanently. And even if you'd
have
to text Paulette, it can wait until the morning.” She kissed Ruby on the cheek, rubbing at her arm comfortingly.
Ruby smirked. “Three am is morning.” She teased.
“Not normal person morning” She twisted her neck to look at Ruby, noting how awfully tired she looked. “Have you even been sleeping at all?” She questioned.
Ruby’s silky black hair wiped back and forth as she shook her head. “Barely” She confessed.
As soon as she said the words, the fatituge seemed to catch with up her, and she nearly collapsed against Tanya's solid figure next to her.
“Maybe you should” Tanya laughed a little, supporting Ruby as she laid most of her weight against her. Being nothing more than skin and bones, it was no problem to keep her upright. “Come on, do you want to get back in bed with Sophie or do you want to try to share the sofa?” She asked, giving Ruby two options.
“Sofa. If I try to crawl back into bed, Sophie'll wake up and ask where I've been. She's not stupid nor a heavy sleeper.” Ruby argued, standing up and supporting herself on relatively stable legs. Her fingers curled around the hem of her washed out t-shirt that she labeled pyjamas, trying to hide the shaking of her fists. Now that she was mentally aware of her own exhaustion, it was quickly beginning to affect her physically.
“Good” Tanya agreed, slinging an arm around Ruby's shoulder and turning her to face the living room. “I've missed you in bed” She grinned kissing her on the cheek with a satisfied smile.
Ruby grinned, her eyes fluttering closed before she'd even layed down. “Missed you too”