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Frigga.Odin.AsgardLokiAll gone. And it was his faultThat was what Thor told himself. Every day. It was his fault. He should’ve aimed for the head. In the month since Thanos’ snap, since everything went wrong since he killed half the universe, it was the only thing he thought about. Thor didn’t leave his room often. One of the few times was at dawn. He watched the sunrise, thinking about what his brother had said to him: The sun will rise on us again. He held on to hope. Wanting so much that those would be more than just reassuring words. That they would be true. But Thor knew that Loki, like everything else in his life, was gone.Once the sun had risen, Thor returned to the house. Some days he got something to eat, sometimes he went right to his room. Typically, Banner would come and see him. Bringing food, somehow, he always knew whether or not Thor had eaten that day. He would come in and sit with him, sometimes talking more to him than with him. The company was nice, but Thor felt like he didn’t deserve it. Didn’t Banner know what he did? Why would he want to be around him?Eventually, Banner would leave as everyone did. But at least he was doing something good. Banner was working to bring back those lost. The people he had killed. He needed him to bring them back. Thor couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t.Some days he would remain in his room, wallowing in his sorrow. Others he would spend his time training. Well, he called it training. It was using punching bags until they were all destroyed, until his knuckles bled, running until he couldn’t run anymore, pushing himself until he couldn’t go any further. Sometimes he would see Steve in there doing the same. They never talked to each other, or about what they were doing. But they both understood. Building themselves up so they can do better next time or tearing themselves down for failing at all. The training reminded him of home. Though the exercises were different, and he didn’t spar anymore, the rush was the same. The need to push himself as far as he could go. But it reminded him that it was all gone. There was no one to bind up his wounds. No fair maiden he was trying to impress. No father whose expectations he wanted to live up to. All that remained was the guilt of being the reason they were all gone. He had to get them back.
