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“But I want to kiss him.”
“Donghyuck, you don’t even know him.”
A temper tantrum was set into motion and it took a good twenty minutes to calm the elementary schooler down. He couldn’t help that the new transfer student was so cute and he was in the principals office for squishing his cheeks and trying to kiss him right on the mouth. If he remembered anything from dramas, it was that was how you told someone they were cute. He didn’t know why Mark had shrieked like that, either, since in the dramas kissing looked so nice!
“But mommy, he’s so cute. He’s like a little puppy! Like our puppy! We kiss our puppy all the time!”
“Do you want random people coming and kissing you if they think you’re cute?” Donghyuck pouted, he knew his mom was right but still, she had clearly never even seen Mark.
Donghyuck was seven years old, and he had a giant crush on Mark, who was just a year older than him in the Forbidden Second Grade. He swore to himself that he would have to kiss Mark before he could ever date anyone, and he swore to himself that he would keep it up.
He kept this promise through the entirety of elementary school, making sure that he would always sit with him at lunch time and share his lunches. He would go into his classroom during recess and just peek into the room without saying anything. And on the way home, he would trail behind the older boy until they both reached the bus stop (Donghyuck a few feet behind him). He was sure that maybe it was a bit much to be following him around so much, but Donghyuck just enjoyed looking at him too much to distance himself. His mother was getting concerned with how obsessed he was, but she also understood that he was only seven – though her excuse grew less relevant as he grew older.
Middle school rolled around and Donghyuck still found himself trailing behind, until one day in the seventh grade when Mark Lee turned right around and made direct, prolonged eye contact. Donghyuck felt his heart stop at the sudden attention. There wasn’t a word shared for a minute, and Donghyuck was actually a bit scared that he was going to hit him or something. Now that he was older, he did know that it was a little weird. But, unfortunately, he had missed out on social interactions as a kid because he had followed Mark around, so it left him with no friends and just someone he admired.
“What’s your name?”
“Lee Donghyuck.” His voice came out a lot smaller than he expected it would.
“Donghyuck.” The voice came out stern. “Stop following me around.”
“Why?” There was no way he’d except this, not after how many years he had spent following him.
“Because I can’t get a girlfriend with you following me around like a shadow!”
“Good.” Donghyuck spoke just as sternly as Mark did now, and he could see the other boy’s frustrations rising. “I don’t want anyone else to kiss you, only me.”***
For the next few years, Mark would actively tell him to go away when he caught Donghyuck following behind him. Donghyuck continued to be relentless with his affections and refused to back down despite the threats of going to the principal with his complaints, and they ended up in high school without Mark acting on his claims.
Once Donghyuck had started high school, he ended up attracting a few friends in the process; namely, some of these being Chenle, Jisung, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin. The Chinese students found comfort in him being alone too in their new school and the others from ending up in his homeroom class. Even between his small group of friends, his admiration for Mark Lee was very public and known.
“I don’t get why you love that Mark guy so much,” Chenle had asked him with his food stuffed with mouth. “all the girls here are in love with him, just you wait and he’ll have a girlfriend by tomorrow!”
Donghyuck just told him to shut up because his love for Jisung was unrequited anyway. Maybe it was a low-blow, but he was just angry to have the truth told to him verbally. Chenle was right either way, and yet he had never found Mark walking with a girl unless they were the groups that followed him around. He had never walked around with a girl intentionally, anyway. Donghyuck was grateful for that nonetheless, and yes, he had still run into trouble because of following Mark around despite that.
One of the times was when a few of Mark’s girl admirers had backed Donghyuck up against a wall in one of the hallways after school, berating him for following around the man of their affections. They insisted that he was annoying Mark to no end and it had to stop now, and that if it didn’t, they would cause grave consequences. Donghyuck was about to protest before he saw Mark standing a few feet from him, watching the interaction with a frown. His arm was hanging over his shoulder with a book in hand, a stance that Donghyuck always felt butterflies in his stomach to see. He cleared his throat loudly, causing the girls to turn around. “Ya, Lee Donghyuck, hurry up before I leave you.”
Donghyuck felt like it was his right to stick his tongue out at the girls before clasping on to Mark’s arm (for as long as three seconds before he shook him off) as they walked away together.
Donghyuck had learned that Mark Lee had grown accustom to his company, and he had learned this gradually over his first semester in high school. The new school left him a lot busier than before, and despite Mark being an entire grade above him, it was almost like he expected Donghyuck to be there. One of the times he realized this was when he had fallen sick one day and hadn’t been able to come to school for a few days. It wasn’t too bad, just a regular flu that had gone around and left him stuck in bed. When Donghyuck had come back to school after his sickness, he was met with Mark Lee staring him down in front of the shoe racks.
“Where were you?”
“I was sick.” Donghyuck huffed, putting his shoes in his locker and turning to face Mark. He noticed he was rubbing his neck like he did when he got nervous, but he quickly dropped it to scowl at the younger boy.
“Next time, you should tell m-”
“Mark!” They both turned to see his classmate Lucas calling him over. Mark glanced back at Donghyuck before jogging off to meet him, causing Donghyuck to huff again, drudging his way to his classroom. Mark Lee was a weirdo.***
Donghyuck wishes he could be like his cousin and just have a talent scout come and whisk him away to an entertainment company, to be a famous idol without as many school responsibilities. Though he was confident that he could hold his weight, his mother insisted that he stayed in school because it was just unrealistic to expect to be scouted. Donghyuck still wished that XY Entertainment would take him away from the nearing English test that he just couldn’t grasp.
The problem with his friend group was that no one could aid him with English. Well, technically Chenle could since he had studied so rigorously in China, but he was reserving his talents for Jisung only. Sounded like a waste to Donghyuck, but he could keep his complains to himself.
Because of the clear lack of friendship in Chenle’s heart, Donghyuck was stuck in his classroom after school was over for the day, trying his best to understand what the heck was the difference between though, through, and thorough. A loud groan reverberated off of the empty walls, Donghyuck laying his head on his desk in defeat, only to hear a snicker from the doorway behind him. “Jeno, go away, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be following Jaemin around right now.”
“I have no idea who either of them are but I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate that.” Donghyuck’s head snapped up fast enough to have broken his neck, since he had quickly recognized that voice as Mark Lee’s. “What are you doing here so late? I was waiting for you for like, twenty minutes now.”
“Why were you waiting for me? You’re always whining that I’m annoying you when we walk together.” Donghyuck’s eyebrow was cocked with suspicion, and Mark took a seat in the desk next to him, setting his bag on top of it. He rolled his eyes.
“At this point both our parents have deemed me your guardian, so I don’t have much of a choice.”
“It’s not that you miss me when I’m not around?” Donghyuck leaned closer to Mark’s desk, to which the older boy leaned backwards.
“What are you studying?” Of course, his question was evaded as usual. To Donghyuck, he believed strongly that it never hurt to try anyway, despite that he knew how Mark always replied to him. He tore his stare from the boy’s face and back to his homework with another groan. His dilemma with the English test was explained to Mark, subtle pleading eyes being thrown in since he did already take the test last year and would conveniently know what to study. “So you’re planning to study here alone for the next week?”
Donghyuck pouted and rolled his pencil between his fingers sadly. “I don’t see another option.”
“I’ll tutor you.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“I’ll tutor you.”
Donghyuck was sure that he was overdue for his health check-up if his ears were understanding things wrong. There was no way in hell that Mark Lee would suggest that he would help Donghyuck, let alone willingly spend time with him. “You’ll tutor me? At what cost?”
“None, you’re the one forcing me to wait for you after school every day. I might as well get the comfort of my home.”
Now, Donghyuck had wished for many things in his life, and hanging out one-on-one in Mark’s room wasn’t something he would be bold enough to ask for. And yet, the man of the hour was suggesting it so readily as if he didn’t realize it would cause Donghyuck’s heart to combust suddenly. “Home?”
“Ya, Donghyuck, are you even listening to me?” Mark’s scowl brought him out of his panic and he stood up suddenly, knocking his chair down behind him and nodding with a fever that Mark was clearly rather startled at.
“I want you to tutor me.”
And with that, they headed to Mark’s house.***
Surprisingly, Donghyuck had never been to Mark’s house before. After his obsession with the boy had taken flight in middle school, Mark’s parents introduced themselves to Donghyuck’s and they ended up fast friends. However, his parents had always gone over to Donghyuck’s house (without Mark, of course) so it left him with an intense curiosity as to what his house, and his room, looked like.
He was warmly greeted by Mark’s mother and was led upstairs to Mark’s room, to which he could only gasp. His walls were covered with album covers and posters of rap artists, badminton players, and photos of him and his friends. It was an extremely cozy and comfortable room to Donghyuck, not just because it reminded him of Mark so heavily, but because it was so filled with things that made him happy. He took the time to examine everything while Mark was putting away his backpack and left for the bathroom, only to find a tiny note from him pinned under one of the Coldplay albums. It was a stupid doodle he had done in the 5th grade of Mark and him as friends, and the shock that it was hanging on Mark’s wall amongst all of the things important to him was leaving Donghyuck choked up. But he decided not to bring it up for the sake of his own sanity.
After a few hours of studying – and by studying, Donghyuck meant staring at Mark as he spoke English – he decided to give up for the moment despite Mark’s protests. “English is boring.”
“Well failing a test isn’t fun either.” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at his remark, but Mark still pushed the books away for now and leaned back on the pillows they had strewn about on the ground. “You actually understand a lot more than you realize. Are you sure you aren’t just lying so I’d be forced to tutor you?”
“What!” Donghyuck sat up and furrowed his eyebrows. “You literally suggested it before I even asked!” He noticed a small smile tugging at Mark’s lips and he huffed. “What do you think you’re laughing at?”
Before Mark could tease him more, his mother came in to tell Donghyuck that his mom had called to tell him to head home. At this point, he was actually happy that his mother was calling him home because he felt like his chest was restricted from sharing the same space as Mark for so many hours. Not to mention, Mark decided to walk him downstairs and wait to go inside until he had turned around the corner. Donghyuck took the time to scream into his sleeve once he was a block away, and he prayed that Mark didn’t hear it.
The next day seemed to move smoothly until Renjun had run into him, and his hands were resting on his hips with a scowl. “Why didn’t you text us back yesterday?”
“I was busy.” Donghyuck tried to scoot past him but Renjun took a step to the side too.
“You’re never busy, Lee Donghyuck, I know you.” Before Renjun could grill him more, Jaemin happily skipped over and put an arm around Renjun’s shoulder.
“Hello, Hyuckie! What have I missed?” Donghyuck was ready to warmly greet him back but was quickly cut off by his friend.
“Donghyuck is sneaking around.” The protests he made were quickly drowned out as the rest of his friends gathered, pulling him to the cafeteria with teasing tones. He tried to duck under Jeno’s arm but looked over and ended up making eye contact with Mark from across the room. He was standing with his friend Lucas again, but Lucas was talking to another friend. The eye contact was unnecessarily intense and caused Donghyuck’s cheeks to flare up before he ducked his head again just to avoid his stare.
Eating lunch was fairly simple, the guys seemed to have dropped it once food was placed in front of them. Besides, it was much more fun to tease Chenle before Jisung arrived. However, the second that Jisung did arrive, Renjun decided to bring it up again, and Jeno once again put a restricting arm around him to prevent him from running away. The flashback to Mark staring him down before made Donghyuck squirm in his seat, which his friends quickly called out as being related to him ignoring their groupchat the night before.
Donghyuck protested that he was just studying like he had said, and before his friends could interject with what an utter lie that was, Mark walked up to the table with an empty tray. Everyone went silent, slowly shifting their eyes between Mark and Donghyuck with curious expressions. Donghyuck wished the floor would open up under him. Mark cocked an eyebrow at him and cleared his throat.
“I’ll be waiting for you at the gate. Don’t forget your book this time.” With that, he turned away to put his tray back and hurry to his classroom, and the second he was out of earshot his friends were in an uproar.
“Waiting for you? Since when does Mark Lee wait for you?” Jaemin was unbelieving at what just happened, especially since it was Donghyuck’s job to follow Mark around, not vice versa. “Are you going on a date?”
“Of course not. I’m just studying at his house, why is that so hard to believe.” Donghyuck purposefully mumbled the last part, but unfortunately it was caught.
“At his house?! Lee Donghyuck what kind of fake friend are you not to tell us that!”
“It’s not a big deal! He’s already taken the class since he’s our senior anyway, and it bothers him to have to wait for me at school when I study here.” Chenle and Jisung gave each other a look as the hyungs berated Donghyuck more. Donghyuck wasn’t going to be off the hook for this one, and Renjun insisted that he was going to wait after school with him, even though Donghyuck was begging him not to. He was already using up all his luck to be around Mark this much and he didn’t want to embarrass himself in the process, but he knew that when it came to Renjun he didn’t have much of a choice. He was practically his father.
The end of the day came quicker than he expected, and by the time he had gotten out of class and had Renjun following him closely, he was regretting even coming to school that day. It would have made much more sense if he had just pretended to be sick and stayed home, and then he could have snuck to Mark’s and studied there anyway. But no, Renjun now insisted that he would go to the bus stop with them and give Donghyuck a hard time because he didn’t tell him about Mark.
Mark was already at the gate with his bag over his shoulder, and his expression read confused when he saw a sulky Donghyuck and a stern Renjun in tow. “Hi.”
“Hello.” Mark gave a polite nod to Renjun, which was met with a glare that left Donghyuck wanting to smack his friend. “Are you walking with us?”
“Of course.” Renjun looped arms with Donghyuck and gave Mark another glare, pulling him in front of Mark to talk to him closely. What Donghyuck didn’t see was the tensing of Mark’s jaw as he watched him get physically closer to Renjun as they took each step forward. It was maybe a good thing that Donghyuck hadn’t seen it, because the chances of pushing his friend out of the way would be high.
The bus stop seemed like a million miles from school when he wasn’t able to turn back to look at Mark without Renjun threatening to tell the groupchat how unforgivably whipped he was, but thankfully it managed to come up right as Renjun’s bus arrived. Donghyuck quickly pushed him towards it, insisting that he didn’t want his bestest friend to be late, to which Renjun started getting on board and turned around to point at Mark. “You better not do anything weird and kiss him or something, you know full well that would give him a heart-attack and I wouldn’t even have an embarrassing video to keep of it happening.”
“I won’t.” Mark had a smug grin as Renjun nodded firmly, leaving Donghyuck to melt in a puddle of embarrassment on the bus stop bench.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Somehow Donghyuck managed to make it to the English test day, and despite all of the tutoring Mark had successfully done, Donghyuck still felt all of his nerves building up in his stomach. It wasn’t like this test mattered more than any others in the grand scheme of his high school career, it was just the last one of this class and he wanted to finish strongly. Sure, he did actually have a high grade in the class already and maybe stressing over this was a waste of time, he had just been told by his seniors that it was difficult.
Mark had tutored him so diligently that it didn’t really matter how difficult it was anyways. Still, he felt another wave of nerves when students started filing into the room. Chenle gave him a pat on the back before sitting down, leaving Donghyuck’s stomach to flare up with butterflies suddenly. It would be unreasonable to just lay his head on the table and whine about it, so he got up to walk around the hallway instead. Knowing his luck, he was met with Mark coming down from the other way with his friends, who made eye contact with him as he tried to duck his head out of the way.
He wasn’t sure when he started avoiding him (especially since his specialty was making himself be known) but it was something about the way Mark stared at him now that made Donghyuck feel too flustered. He was facing the window looking into his classroom, acting as if he hadn’t seen Mark, but he heard him tell his friends he’d catch up later and walk over to him.
“Here.” Donghyuck turned to see Mark holding a plastic bakery bag. “It’s a pork bun. I know you like them and you haven’t eaten yet.”
“How do you know?” Donghyuck took the bun from him and took a bite, trying not to show his extreme gratitude for this small meal.
“Because I know everything, Lee Donghyuck, you’ll learn that sooner or later.” Mark reached over and ruffled Donghyuck’s hair, a sudden fluttering in his stomach reignited as Mark drew his hand back. “Good luck.” He walked away and caught up to his friends, leaving Donghyuck to smooth down his hair alone and curse him for the tinted cheeks that he knew Chenle would tease him about. Still, he appreciated that Mark had gone out of his way to get him food and check up on him before the test.
Of course, the test ended up going well and he was proud of himself for not leaving anything blank. After discussing a few questions with Chenle it was clear he had gotten a pretty good grade, and the rest of his friends decided to go out to celebrate the end of the testing season until finals. However, Mark didn’t seem to get the memo, and yelled for Donghyuck from across the courtyard when he had almost made it off campus. His friends gave Donghyuck the look, and they waited for Mark to jog up to them.
“How was the test?”
“It was fine.” Donghyuck’s cheeks were heating up at the smug expression his friends were making behind Mark. “I won’t be able to walk home with you today, cause-”
“Mark, why don’t you come with? We’re going to get dinner.” Renjun put an arm around Donghyuck, a test of whether his jaw clenching truly was because of the contact (it was, he confirmed). “After all, Donghyuck does owe you a meal after you saved him from that English exam.”
“He didn’t save me-”
“Alright.”
Everyone stopped to look at Mark, unsure if they had heart him right. They all fully doubted that Mark meant to say yes, especially since he wasn’t one to hang out with anyone other than his usual group, much less with Donghyuck who was essentially his stalker. But since they all loved Donghyuck so dearly, they let him have his moment of contact with Mark and agreed to everyone heading to the metro and finding a good restaurant.
They all decided that budae-jjigae (army stew) would be a good comfort food after their hard work, and they filed into one of the large tables to sit down and start cooking. Donghyuck was so conveniently seated next to Mark, and before he knew it his friends were already shooting questions at him like bullets.
“So, Mark, I hear you were originally a transfer student?” Jeno stirred the ramen in the giant pot, Donghyuck’s stomach rumbling lowly. “Are you from America or something?”
“I’m actually Canadian, I moved here when I was young.” He gestured at Donghyuck while taking a sip of his water. “When I was eight. I met Donghyuck in elementary school.”
Donghyuck fondly looked back on those days, the simpler times despite that Mark would so aggressively ignore him. At least he wasn’t in such a sticky situation where everyone at the table knew he was in love with Mark. “What was Hyuckie like?” Jaemin pried in for the blackmail, giving his signature innocent smile.
“Not sure. I mean, I knew him cause he would follow me around a lot, the first thing he did when he met me was try to kiss me, so.” Everyone shifted their attention to Donghyuck who was currently turning as red as the pepper that was being added to their stew. He didn’t expect that Mark would bring up such an embarrassing thing to all of his friends, but the cute grin that he gave him was worth it for now.
“Hyung, why would you say that…” His whining was muffled by his hands covering his face, to which Jaemin giggled.
“So cute! Not like things have changed really, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t kiss Mark now if you had the chance.”
Now, Donghyuck did insist that he loved his friends dearly, but sometimes he wished he could punch them in the face at least so they wouldn’t be able to talk again. Jeno choked at Jaemin’s comment, Renjun looking shocked and Chenle and Jisung in their own world. Donghyuck expected Mark to excuse himself and leave or something, but instead he turned to him and rested his head in his palm, a teasing smile resting on his face. “Really?”
“Of course not…what are you saying…” Donghyuck glared at Jaemin and his friend was glad that looks couldn’t kill.
Donghyuck was thankful that the food was picking up, and after a few minutes everyone was digging in without any more of the digging into Donghyuck’s past. Despite his friends thoroughly embarrassing him, he was still glad that Mark had come since it was still so fun. It was strange to see Mark alongside his regular friends, but in a way it was comforting to see that he had integrated despite how forward they are.
They finished and split the bill after another hour, and everyone parted ways to head home alone or go to the PC room for an extended celebration their parents surely didn’t want. Donghyuck had to pass this time since he was exhausted from the past week of staying up to study, and Mark decided he would go with him. Donghyuck had gotten used to walking with Mark at this point, but he still found himself twisting and turning internally over the comment Jaemin had made earlier. Sure, Jaemin was right when he said that, but there was no need to send Donghyuck in a spiraling existential crisis over it. He was content with how lucky he had gotten with Mark wanting to be around him now.
Though, maybe that was a lie, because he felt himself staring at Mark’s lips with a tiny thought of ‘what would it be like to kiss Mark Lee?’
“Is it true?” Donghyuck quickly moved his gaze from Mark to the street in front of them.
“Is what true?”
“What Jaemin said.” Maybe Donghyuck’s heart was going to stop. He was sure it was going to stop since his face had heated up and he wasn’t sure how to speak anymore. “You don’t have to tell me or anything, I just…I don’t know.” Mark glanced over at Donghyuck who was still trying to remember how to talk, and he shoved his hands in his pocket. “I mean clearly you don’t hate me or anything since you just follow me around. You’ve just never told me directly I guess.”
“Told you what directly?” It was Mark’s turn to have lit up cheeks, a soft pink making Donghyuck want to take a photo of him.
“I don’t know. Do you like me or something?” Mark said the last part a bit too loudly, his voice on the verge of cracking. Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows at the direct attack.
“So what if I do? It’s not like you like me. You’re just teasing me for asking!”
“How do you know if I don’t like you?”
“Because you yell at me for following you around! And you’re weird! And you get annoyed when I don’t walk home with you!” Donghyuck was raising his voice now, his frustrations from years of not being noticed bubbling up after being asked so boldly.
“So what would you do if I did like you?”
Donghyuck huffed loudly, walking away from Mark at a quicker pace. “Shut up. I’m going home alone! Don’t you dare follow me, either!”
“Ya, Donghyuck! I’m asking you a question!”
He wasn’t sure how to answer Mark, because he honestly hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking. He was just cherishing that he could be around him as a friend right now, and the idea of him liking him back was so insanely impossible that Donghyuck didn’t dream of it. Unfortunately, Mark was hounding him with that idea and he wasn’t sure exactly what he would do. “I don’t know. I’d be happy, or something.”
Donghyuck wasn’t going to assume he heard things correctly, but he could have sworn that Mark said “then be happy”.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Never in a million years did Donghyuck expect to see Jeno walking around with Mark as if they were friends, but here he was watching them walk down the hallway in an intense conversation. Once they got closer, he could hear it was about some sports thing, and Donghyuck pouted when they almost walked past him without seeing he was there.
“Why are you hanging out with Mark?” He whispered under his breath in an attempt to prevent Mark from hearing (despite him being one person away from him). Jeno grinned widely and put an arm around Mark, which he brushed off.
“We’re friends, of course! Mark is such a reliable hyung!”
“I know that, obviously I know that over anyone at this school.” His grumbling was ignored as his friend (or betrayer in his mind) continued to talk to the love of his life.
Somehow his friends had managed to integrate Mark into their daily life as if he had always been there. This included some of Mark’s friends too, like Lucas, the guy that was always with Mark before. Donghyuck didn’t mind being around Mark more often of course, it made his job of forcibly inserting himself into Mark’s life easier, but he felt frustrated at the same time. It was strange for him to see Mark so often or for Mark to treat him so casually. It was a lot to ask for, but he almost didn’t want Mark to feel so comfortable around him because he was scared that he would just view him as a friend then. Not that he found himself having a chance at Mark viewing him romantically, but still.
One of the days he was mulling over telling his friends to leave Mark alone, he was stuck cleaning the classroom during lunch. It wasn’t something he had to do often, but as part of the classroom he had the job every once and a while with other classmates. Today it was another girl, someone he didn’t really know but knew of, Minseo. She was working on sweeping while Donghyuck was aggressively wiping down the windows. It was silent since they didn’t talk, but suddenly the sweeping stopped and Minseo cleared her throat.
“Hey, Donghyuck…” He was confused why she was talking to him suddenly, but he nodded at her. “You’re close with Mark Lee, right?”
Close wasn’t exactly how he would phrase it, but he would take the chance when he had it. “Yeah, what about it?”
“Could you…could you give this to him?” Minseo held a letter out, clearly a love letter based off the whiff of perfume he smelled when it was shoved in his face, and the tiny hearts drawn all over it. Donghyuck scrunched up his nose and shook his head. “Why not?”
“Because I like Mark, why would I help you confess to someone I like?”
There was a pause and Donghyuck turned back to continue cleaning the window. “You like him? Why would you waste your time?”
“Waste my time? What is that supposed to mean?” Donghyuck had gotten plenty of slack for being around Mark too much from those who admired him, but the idea of wasting his time by liking him irked him. “Why do you like Mark? Because he’s cute?”
Minseo looked embarrassed at the accusation, but at the same time she didn’t deny it. Donghyuck nodded slowly, setting his rag down on the desk and leaning against it. “Right. I used to like him cause of that too, when I was a lot younger. But then I realized that Mark was a lot more than that. He’s really kind, he’s always helping people younger than him and even teachers sometimes. He’s insanely polite to people older than him, and he works harder than anyone I’ve ever seen.”“Mark also makes everyone feel welcome and safe around him, and he never excludes anyone. Sure he’s ridiculously handsome, but he’s someone I look up to, even past liking him romantically…” Donghyuck trailed off from his rant, his cheeks reddening at the idea of spilling his heart like that to some random classmate. She had stayed silent while Donghyuck had talked, and he cleared his throat to act stern. “A-anyway! If you like him just cause he’s cute, I won’t let you confess to him!”
“Shut up, Donghyuck, you can’t tell me what to do!”
“Hey, you can’t tell me to shut up either!” Before they knew it, the bickering continued as they finished cleaning. Outside of the classroom, however, was a certain Mark Lee leaning on the wall and trying to hide his obvious smile.***
Maybe one good thing out of Mark being in his friend group now was gaining Lucas, since he enjoyed playing Overwatch with him at the PC rooms after school. Though Mark liked to play too, he didn’t play as diligently as Lucas did, so he didn’t go with them often. Today he insisted that he should however, so they were all heading over with Renjun and Jisung too. Mark was trailing behind Lucas and Donghyuck as they talked, and Renjun and Jisung were behind him. For someone who wanted to go so badly, it felt strange that he just kept to himself, and Donghyuck couldn’t help but glance back at Mark a few times curiously.
“Oh, but Donghyuck, we should stop by the convenience store after to get those chips you like.”
“How did you remember?” Donghyuck grinned. “We should though, I don’t have any at home either.”
Mark cleared his throat, making Donghyuck turn around again to see what was wrong, but Mark turned his head quickly before they could make eye contact. Donghyuck didn’t pry in more.
They stopped by the convenience store and got to the PC bang to play for a few hours. Mark still wasn’t interacting with Donghyuck at all and it was making the younger feel confused as to why. After they had finished a few games Lucas got a text from his mom asking him to pick up groceries and head home, so he parted ways with them and left the friends to head home too. Mark of course went back with Donghyuck again – but it was barely five in the evening so they decided to just walk around for a while instead of going home right away.
Donghyuck was hoping that Mark would open up as to why he was so pouty today, but he stayed quiet for another ten minutes before he glanced over at Donghyuck when he looked at the older boy. The eye contact was held for a few seconds before it was awkwardly broke by Donghyuck squeaking and looking away.
“Why did you come today if you didn’t do anything?” Donghyuck kept his eyes facing forward so he didn’t look at Mark again.
“What, did you not want me here or something?”
Mark stayed pouting for a bit, and Donghyuck’s heart really couldn’t take it. “Of course I wanted you here.” It was stupid how unnecessarily soft he was while saying that, but he felt like Mark had drawn it out of him.
“You like hanging out with Lucas, huh.”
“Yeah, he’s cool.” Donghyuck felt like Mark was hinting at something, but he wanted him to say it directly.
“Do you like hanging out with him-”
“More than you? No, not really.” He caught on, and Mark’s face tinted red. “You have such a big ego, Mark. I feel like you love hearing me say that I like you or have a crush on you.”
Mark looked guilty of something for a moment before he spoke. “I heard you talking to Minseo today.” Donghyuck didn’t catch on to what he meant at first, but once he did he wanted the ground to open into a giant black hole so he could just jump down it and not have to continue this conversation. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything, I just went to your classroom cause Renjun told me to look for you and you hadn’t told us you were cleaning…but when I got there Minseo asked you to give me that letter and I wanted to know what you were gonna say…” Mark rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Donghyuck sheepishly.
“It’s like you’re trying to kill me or something.” The groaning caused Mark to laugh, something that Donghyuck could appreciate despite still begging the universe for that black hole already.
“I’m thankful, though.” Mark had a smile with a tone that Donghyuck hadn’t seen before. “I mean, it’s going to sound egotistical again I guess but a lot of people say they like me but don’t really like me past the surface. It was strange but really nice to hear you say you liked me for other reasons.”
“Well you aren’t cute anyway, so obviously I can’t like you for that.”
“It’s funny, I vividly remember you saying, and I quote, he’s ridiculously handsome-”
“Mark Lee if you don’t shut up I’ll tell your mom you were playing video games instead of doing your homework!” That shut him up for now, and they enjoyed the walk down the street as the sun set. Maybe Mark hadn’t explicitly said that he liked him back or given him a chance, but for some reason Donghyuck felt like maybe Mark was a bit more reachable now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Somehow the rest of the semester rolled along until break was upon them. Donghyuck was proud of himself for getting through his first year of high school, but he was practically bursting at the seams for the opportunities that he was about to get with Mark now that neither of them had anything to do. His friends however, had other plans.
“Are you busy this weekend? We’re gonna go on a fieldtrip and hang out at the beach for a day.” Renjun was half hanging over the divider keeping him from falling a few stories down, which was not uncommon of him. Even his drink was teetering on the edge, about to plummet on to someone’s head.
Donghyuck thought long and hard whether he should go celebrate his new found second-year freedom or try and get involved in Mark’s schedule, so he decided to tell Renjun he was unsure for now. However, Jeno and Chenle came bounding down the hall to come and talk, Mark in tow. Jeno practically crashed into Renjun considering how late he had stopped, and he wore his signature grin with no shame. “What are you two up to?”
“I was talk about the beach trip but Donghyuck just told me I don’t know like a loser.” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out and continued to drink his chocolate milk, clearly not acting like a child.
“You aren’t going?” Mark asked Donghyuck, to which he blinked a few times.
“Are you?”
Clearly the younger had underestimated his friend’s skills at masterfully forcing Mark to be a part of their friend group, because he simply answered of course as if he had always been a part of it. Duh, Donghyuck, Mark Lee would definitely hang around your friends as if they’re his, was clearly what the universe was trying to tell him.
So naturally he changed his mind. Donghyuck would go where Mark went and that was how it always was and would probably always be. Mark didn’t seem to mind anyway so he stopped by his house that weekend after Donghyuck had packed up, so they could head to the train station together. Donghyuck was still getting used to stumbling over his words while he talked to Mark, and Mark was getting used to resisting the urge to run his hand through Donghyuck’s hair. In the end, it was a lot of holding back between them.
Everyone was waiting for them at the train station already and they made it just in time, managing to get a few rows together and Renjun enjoying an extra seat for himself despite Jaemin insisting they should sit together. Mark had given Donghyuck a look when he suggested Jaemin to sit with him, and before Jaemin could answer Mark sat down in the empty seat and put his headphones in. Jaemin grinned at Donghyuck.
The train ride was about three hours long so it left Donghyuck with a lot of time to stare out of the window, hoping that Mark would take out his headphones to talk to him instead. It took an hour and a half for Mark to do so, however, and it was because Chenle was giving out snacks he had packed for the ride. Donghyuck asked him to open his water bottle and after that they shared Mark’s headphones for the rest of the ride. It was inconvenient, the train was too loud for them to hear the music properly, but Donghyuck didn’t mind because it was Mark and he could see his mole from sitting this close to him.***
“Wahhh! Jeno, take a photo of me!” Jaemin was already kicking off his shoes and running towards the water, posing cutely for his Instagram that almost everyone in their grade followed. The breeze was so nice after being cooped up in that train for so long, and the younger kids had already ran off to find food while everyone else was taking photos. Donghyuck wanted to take pictures with Mark so badly, and Renjun had caught on by the way he was sulking while the others were enjoying themselves.
“Hey, Mark, do you want any photos?” Donghyuck was practically itching for him to say yes and Mark nodded, setting his bag on the ground and going to stand in front of the ocean. Renjun nudged at Donghyuck’s arm. “Go over there too, just say that your parents probably want a photo of you two together or something.”
Some day Donghyuck will repay Renjun for being such a good wingman, but for now he just promised him a bag of chips and ran over to Mark with a big smile. Mark didn’t ask why he was there, though, and instead placed a hand on the top of the younger’s head and did a peace sign with his free hand.
Needless to say, the bewildered expression Donghyuck had while looking up at Mark with tinted cheeks was now captured forever.
After everyone enjoyed a much-awaited meal it was time to check into the hotel for the night which was appreciated since Donghyuck was exhausted from the travel. They wanted to walk around the town later but a nap was definitely in order for now. However, that seemed to be impossible once Donghyuck found out what the rooming arrangements were.
“I’m rooming with Mark? Why am I the only one rooming with him when all of you are sharing a room?”
“Because I’m a good friend, I’m even sleeping on the couch for you.” Jaemin had rolled his suitcase into the shared room along with Mark and Donghyuck, while the other boys went into the room next door. This room had a pull out and king-sized bed while the other one had two king-sized beds and a pull out. Jaemin was supposed to be staying with Mark and Donghyuck in this room but decided to ditch to stay in the other one for the sake of Donghyuck. Not that it was really helping him, since he would surely die of exhausted from being unable to sleep knowing Mark Lee was in the same room as him.
Mark was still helping the others in their room, leaving Donghyuck to have a moment to freak out before he returned to the room. He noticed that Jaemin’s stuff was missing and he cocked an eyebrow. “Where’d he go?”
“Um, he wanted to stay in the other room for some reason.”
“Are you just planning so we can stay in a room together alone?” Donghyuck made a strained choking noise before shaking his head. Mark just grinned at him, enjoying the chance to tease him despite that Mark had expressly asked Jaemin to change rooms in the first place.***
Donghyuck was right about dying from exhaustion after all. Going around the town after travelling for long had worn him out, not to mention having such a filling meal and walking back to the hotel didn’t help. He could barely change into his pajamas, and even after he did he was half asleep while brushing his teeth.
Mark was not nearly as affected as Donghyuck was as he was reclined on the bed scrolling through his phone. They hadn’t exactly discussed how the sleeping arrangement would be, but when Donghyuck flopped onto the bed and nearly fell asleep Mark kept his mouth shut about it. The younger was clearly battling giving in to his exhaustion and instead tried his best to stay awake, staring at Mark as he looked at his phone. “Go to sleep.”
“I can’t. I don’t think I’ll get this opportunity again as long as I live, and I want to cherish it.” Mark tried not to laugh at how silly (or cute) half-asleep Donghyuck sounded, and instead he hummed in response. “Why aren’t you telling me to move to the couch?”
Mark scoffed. “I’m not heartless.”
“Sometimes you are.” Donghyuck mumbled this into his pillow, shifting so he was able to see Mark as he continued to put his focus on his phone. Donghyuck really wanted him to put it away already. “Why did you come on this trip?”
The older wasn’t quite sure how to answer, but he turned off his phone and set it next to him. “I don’t know, I felt like it. Your friends are nice.”
“Did you go because of me?” Somehow Donghyuck’s voice had gotten a lot smaller.
“Partially.”
“Partially?”
“Entirely.”
Donghyuck couldn’t hide his smile which was still as bright despite his eyes already having drifted closed while they talked. After a few seconds he had already fallen asleep and Mark pulled the blanket over him so he wouldn’t be cold. He looked back at his phone now, the photo of him and Donghyuck back to being the center of his attention.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Donghyuck was acting rather funny after that beach trip. The summer had rolled in like the winds that never managed to cool the boys down, and they all ended up spending more time with Mark as the summer passed. It was strange, he seemed to just fit into their group as if there was a spot made for him. As lovely as this was for them, it made Donghyuck suffer even more.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Mark, of course, but he sure found it hard to pretend like things were fine when they were sitting on his back porch, Mark’s white T-shirt sticking to him from the sweat, and red popsicle dripping all over the concrete beneath him. His friends were playing in the kiddie pool they had bought at the dollar store nearby, and Donghyuck and Mark were just watching.
“Are you sure you don’t want to swim?” Mark’s gaze turned to Donghyuck slowly, as if the heat had made him into a snail.
“I’m fine, they’ll probably drown me or something anyway.” If anything, Jaemin’s polaroid camera was going to be drowned if Jeno tried to slam-dunk him into the pool one more time. It was a cute sight, but Donghyuck would much rather sit next to Mark for the rest of his life. “How’s the cherry flavor?”
“Do you want to try it?”
As much as Donghyuck wanted to scream at the idea of sharing a popsicle with Mark, he just slowly shook his head. Chenle and Jisung came barreling over to ask for another popsicle only to find that Mark was eating the last one. In punishment, they forced him to go with Donghyuck to go buy more. It seemed like the punishment was making Donghyuck suffer more, but he didn’t complain.
The summer sun was beating down on them during the walk, and Donghyuck felt like he was dying while trailing behind Mark. The walk was halted once they finally made it to the convenience store. Luckily, Donghyuck and Mark could take advantage of the situation and get the flavors they liked best to be spiteful. Sitting on the curb of the store and eating the ice cream while the sun beat down on them was surprisingly comfortable, but Donghyuck chalked it up to it being Mark next to him. Mark glanced over at him, a subtle smile resting on his face.
“Is it good?”
“Mhm, I feel like I’m just waiting for the stomachache to come later though.” Mark laughed at Donghyuck’s comment (simultaneously releasing a million butterflies in his stomach) and nodded. Maybe two ice creams in one day was a bad idea, but it was summer and they were young .
They knew they should probably head back instead of trailing behind, but they couldn’t help but swing the bag around and drag their feet a little longer. Donghyuck nearly dropped it one of the times, so Mark took the responsibility, and while taking the bag their fingers brushed ever so slightly, enough for Donghyuck to notice and his fingers to tingle. Mark glanced at his own hand before slowly reaching and grabbing Donghyuck’s nonchalantly.
“My hands are sweaty!” Was all that he could manage to squeak, but Mark just shrugged and continued holding on during their walk back. Just before he crossed the threshold between the house and the backyard, Mark gave a quick squeeze and dropped Donghyuck’s hand to yell at the others to eat the ice cream.***
Donghyuck wished that he wasn’t constantly replaying that stupid scene in his head, but for the next week he was just examining his hand as if it was some treasure. He hadn’t told anyone about what had happened, which was in result killing him, until he was alone with Renjun one day after his part-time job.
He had no idea how to introduce the topic to him, so he just awkwardly began with “So…”
“I feel like you’re gonna say something I’ll want to hit you over.” Renjun’s knowing smile made Donghyuck groan before tossing around on the couch.
“We held hands.” Obviously there was no need to even say Mark’s name because who else would he hold hands with, but Renjun still asked who to tease him. “Don’t make fun of me! I’m dying here! What am I supposed to do now?”
“Uhh, maybe hold his hand again? Kiss his cheek? How am I supposed to know?” Renjun snorted when Donghyuck gave him his puppy-eyes. “You’re a big boy now, you need to talk to him about it.”
Of course Renjun was right (he was always right) but there was something incredibly daunting about having a discussion when maybe holding hands was just a fluke. What if Mark was just humoring him and didn’t even see anything in it? It was easy to fall into a spiral of doubting everything. Still, he decided to bite the bullet and ask Mark to go out for boba together, to which Mark agreed.
They enjoyed their boba for a bit before Donghyuck decided to clear his throat and start talking about it as they walked around a park that was nearby. The park was particularly beautiful in the summer time, the sunshine creating pretty patterns on the ground using the leaves, and Donghyuck’s gaze focused on them almost entirely. For some reason it was impossible for him to get the words out, until Mark suggested they sit on the bench to take a break.
Finally Donghyuck gathered the courage, “Mark.”
“Hm?”
His tea was shaking as his leg was jumping from the nerves. “Remember when you held my hand the other day? Did it…mean anything to you?” Mark was silent for a moment, watching some kids playing in a field some ways from them. “Cause I guess that it probably didn’t, but then that’s so unfair to me! I say I like you all the time and you’re benefitting from it cause you have me, the best of the best, following you around, but you can’t just play with my feelings like that! Even though I seem really strong I get nervous around you!”
Mark’s abrupt giggle caught Donghyuck by surprise, his confused face making Mark giggle a little louder. “Donghyuck, I feel like you’re the most oblivious person I know despite you constantly being around me.” Before Donghyuck could protest, Mark leaned in and cupped Donghyuck’s cheek in his hand, pulling him closer until their lips could meet.
For someone who had anticipated this moment since he was seven years old, this was not exactly how he expected it to go. He thought that it would be something that he would initiate, firstly, and that Mark would begrudgingly agree. Never in a million years did he imagine he would be sitting on a park bench in the dead of summer with Mark Lee’s lips pressed against his. It was an innocent kiss, something out of a movie, and it sent that cliché shot of electricity through him after he had fluttered his eyes closed. They kissed for just a moment more before parting, Donghyuck’s hand somehow resting on Mark’s leg now and Mark’s hand having trailed on to Donghyuck’s neck and hair. Donghyuck’s eyes were glittering after the sudden experience, his free hand moving to touch his lips as though he thought he was dreaming, causing Mark to stifle another giggle. There were a lot of unspoken words between them during the walk back home, of course hand-in-hand once again, and a brief kiss on the forehead when Mark dropped him off was just the highly unnecessary icing on the cake.***
To say Donghyuck was in a dream state after that was an understatement. Donghyuck was essentially on cloud nine – him and Mark stealing a kiss occasionally, especially while trailing behind the others and out of their sight. Mark seemed to always be the one that initiated them, pulling Donghyuck’s jacket above his ears to shield them for a quick peck before dropping it back and grinning at Donghyuck’s huffing and reddened cheeks. It was a secret between the two, the rest of their friends either pretending not to notice or genuinely out of the loop.
It wasn’t until one day when they had all gone out to eat ramen outside of a convenience store after a successful raid of the karaoke rooms that Mark decided to step out of the line. They were all sitting there before Mark had arrived, since he had been unable to join them for karaoke earlier. They just decided that two-dollar ramen was way more worth it than going to a real restaurant, so they all agreed to meet him there and create their DIY concoctions using different packaged sausages and boiled eggs. Mark was jogging up to meet them, waving as everyone greeted him, a spot next to Donghyuck of course already left open. However, instead of just sitting down and stroking Donghyuck’s hand with this thumb under the table as he usually does, he ruffled Donghyuck’s hair and planted a kiss on the top of his head before sitting down and digging into his ramen.
Silence spread across the table as their friends sat with their mouths gaping open, Donghyuck lit up red. Then, chaos.
“Are you kidding me? You two are horrible friends, you don’t even tell us when you get together?”
“This is a joke, right? My blood pressure is rising, and my mom always says that’s bad for me-”
“Once again, Donghyuck is a liar and his trust is lost!”
The berating from their friends was expected, Mark just ignoring it to devour the ramen that Donghyuck had never actually offered him, leaving the younger to have to explain everything himself. He would curse him until the end of time for that. In the end, the conclusion was that it was probably long overdue anyways, and the questions switched to how this began which was quickly avoided by Donghyuck from sheer embarrassment.
They walked home together that night, hands swinging in the warm summer night air, more comfortable than home even. “Mark, are we dating?”
“Hmm,” Mark furrowed his eyebrows as though he was in deep thought. “I guess I’ll put it this way. I don’t want anyone else to kiss you, only me.”
That was something Donghyuck could agree on.