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BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
“Let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle, but let me first do some great thing that shall be told among men hereafter.”
― Homer, The Iliad ―
The former FBI special investigator Will Graham - or, to be more precise, what was left of his earlier self - was sitting in a single room in the Baltimore Psychiatric Hospital, Maryland with his lowered head turned to the windows on the right His whole appearance seemed to be rather that of a corpse than that of a living being, his deep -brown curly hair scruffy and uncombed, his face sallow and broken-down. There was no light in his bright-blue eyes anymore which peered through the windows, without taking in the sight of the yard covered in the fragile snow.
The shelves and his bed were supposed to give their patients a soothing environment to distract themselves from their inner trauma and to ground them back into reality whenever they needed a paddle to hold on to. That didn't occur to Will Graham though - he was always reminded of the wild and roaring Atlantic ocean at the coast where Hannibal and Will should have died together. Should have. Together. At this thought, tears should have welled up in his already red and tear-stained eyes but none of them appeared. Too often had he wept the death of his lover in the last few weeks when the initial shock which paralyzed him at first started to wear off. He didn't even realize how he got here. The only thing that he remembered was that he held Hannibal in his arms when they could save themselves on a shore nearby. It was there when Hannibal looked into his eyes for the last time.
Will closed his eyes again, going back to the last memory. The golden pendulum swung again. He watched himself kneeling on the rocky shore together with Hannibal in his arms, panting, his breathing shallow and weak. "I-I-love you Will", Hannibal breathed, his eyes filling with tears, knowing that he could not make it into another life at his side. "I wish we could...have..lived..together. I wanted to show you Florence... Rome..P-Paris. The world." Will only stuttered "..N-No-No. Please don't die here, Hannibal, I-I-need you. Please. Don't." "You..must..live on. "Hannibal caressed his face with his hands one last time before his wounds took the toll on him. "Never..give up..Will. Travel the world for me. Think of me. Think of us...In...your..mind palace. I will be there. Always. My Patroclus." And then the light disappeared from his eyes and Hannibal was gone from this world, succumbing to his wounds. Will screamed in desperation and pain. His tears mixed with the salty water of the sea while he embraced Hannibal tightly in his arms. The devastation of his death was too grand for him and he lay next to Hannibal on the ground, hoping he would die soon. But it didn't happen. In the distance he could hear the cars of the FBI approaching, the sirens wailing loudly. Above him, the rotating noise of the helicopters which were drawing near until the searchlights found him. Will covered his eyes with his hands as the lights blinded him.
Then the scene started to blur and Will had to leave his mind-place. He heard a well-known rasp and sharp voice calling for him.
"Will? Will! Are you there? Speak to me!" Will opened his eyes reluctantly while a stern and concerned-looking man with dark skin and sturdy physique grabbed him by his shoulder. Will slowly turned his head towards the man who had made his life hell in the last few years. Whom he didn't intend to see again. "Hello, Jack", Will mumbled, avoiding eye-contact. "How are you?" Jack Crawford asked. "Are you comfortable here? Are you doing any progress in your therapy? "Before Will was able to think of an answer, Jack interrupted him again and said: "Don't answer. I can see it in your eyes that you are not well. Although I can't understand why you feel so bad. I've seen people broken before but never like this.Never." Will was speechless and felt too weak to think of an appropriate answer. " It's over now, Jack. All of it. Hannibal's dead. The Red Dragon's dead. What do you want from me now?" Will managed to say in a dead voice, facing Jack directly. The latter startled when he saw the peaky, worn-out face. The last time that Will had that ghostly-white face was when he suffered from encephalitis 4 years ago. And then there was this scar which made him look like a drunk Picasso drew it, Jack frowned and took a deep breath to calm himself.
"I wanted some answers to a riddle I couldn't solve on my own. Why didn't you stick to the plan? Why did you want to run away with him? "
Will closed his eyes before a minute before he answered- "Hannibal was the only man that understood me in all these years. Who tended to me when I was not able to take care of myself. The Minnesota Shrike, remember? " The broken man paused for a second. "I couldn't live without him in this world. But I also couldn't live with him, so we jumped over that cliff when we finally killed the Dragon, hoping we would die. But we didn't. I didn't. I didn't plan on surviving."Then he fell silent, too exhausted and pained from remembering the loss of his partner. Jack eyed him vigilantly, knowing he couldn't get more out of him. "Alright then. Thank you for this explanation." He sighed. "Then it is goodbye, for now, Will. I won't come back here unless we need another statement. You are free to go when your therapy here is ended. Take care of yourself!" Jack said while looking at him for the last time before he turned to the door. But he paused before he opened the door, saying: "I'm sorry I couldn't save you from yourself." Will nodded to show he appreciated the gesture while in reality, he couldn't care less about what Jack Crawford had to say.
Will closed his eyes again. The pendulum swang once. The moment when he laid eyes on Hannibal for the first time in the bureau of Jack Crawford. When he felt an uncomfortable warmth flooding his body he never felt before, his heart racing, which made him uneasy in his presence and his mouth rough. When he heard Hannibal analyzing him in front of Jack for the first time, his amber eyes glowing with softness and love. This was the moment he knew they were in love. The scene blurred again.
And then the pendulum swung another time. He remembered when Hannibal arrived at this home in Wolf Trap Virginia, right after the incident with the Minnesota Shrike after his stay at the hospital with Abigail Hobbs. He remembered feeling so vulnerable and emotionally unstable, sitting at the front door with nothing but his shirt and pants on, not realizing how cold it was outside. Then Hannibal showed up with his car, a worried look on his face when he got out, discovered him sitting as if he was paralyzed on the veranda. He embraced Will very tightly and escorted him into the house.
Will remembered how close he got to be to Hannibal on this particular day, taking in his wonderful smell, his warmth, and his skin, while he wrapped him in his blankets and made him a cup of tea. If he had only kissed him at this moment.
Next, he found himself sitting in the vast luxurious home of Hannibal sitting near the fireside of the living-room with him at his side. It was late at night. Back then, Will had stayed longer than necessary after his official appointment as he wanted to get closer to Hannibal, because he wanted him in his arms so badly. He stood in the other corner of the large room watching him and Hannibal from a distance. Then he walked towards his partner as close as he could. He poured wine into two glasses, smiling while looking at the Will in the past. Present-Will wanted to touch his skin, caress his face, smell his exquisite perfume and kiss his neck but he only touched thin air. Hannibal leaned forward and touched Past-Will's hands while eying him with warmth and love. Will knew what he was going to say to him, what was going to happen next. A confession of love. He watched how Hannibal muttered his confession:..."I've only ever wanted the best for you, Will. Not only because I am your psychiatrist. But because I care about you. You are my mongoose. My lion." Then he drew closer to Past-Will's face and took it into his hands. "I'm so proud of you. You finally embraced what you were always destined to become." And then their lips met in a passionate kiss. He watched them embrace each other, entangle in their kiss and he re-imagined the feeling and the excitement, the sweet taste of his lips clashing on his own.
Another swing of the pendulum and Will was standing in the bedroom while watching them lying naked on the bed, their muscular bodies entangled in full arousal while continuing their kiss they started in the living-room. "I love you, Hannibal", he heard himself moan. "I know, my little mongoose. And I love you. Always and forever." "Now how do you want to have me, my precious boy?" Hannibal now sat on top of Will, touching and gently massaging his cock and his testicles until Will moaned louder. "I-I-want you to taste me", he heard himself moan. "I want to come in your mouth" he groaned. Hannibal smiled and he muttered, barely audible to Present-Will: "As you command, my little puppy." Then he spread his legs and took him into his mouth. He watched how his past-self trembled on the bed, groaning while Hannibal did everything to please him, using his tongue and his hands to push him over the edge.
To make his orgasm unforgettable. And there it was. An explosion of lust. Will came closer to see himself panting intensively during his orgasm, while Hannibal looked at him the way only a lover could look. Tears were now running down his face. He wished he could turn back time to these moments and relive them once again.
Before he could hold on to that moment, the scenery started to fade again. This time it was a gentle, warm female voice that tore him out of his stay in his memory palace. He looked up and stared into the face of a nurse who opened the door to check on him. "Mr. Graham?" she asked him, unsure if he was listening to her. For a moment he was confused, then he tilts his head in her direction. "Dr. Wilson is expecting you in 15 minutes," she said with a smile on her face, then closing the door again. Will got up slowly from his chair, turning to the windows one last time where he could now see the hallucination of Hannibal staring back at him, smiling to him encouragingly before he imagined his voice:
"Don't give up, Will. I will always be with you. My Patroclus." Will stared at that spot for some minutes, putting his hands on the window glass as he did once when Hannibal was in prison, then he turned around with a sad look on his face and left the room.