Work Text
“So no one told you life was gonna be this gayyy,” Roy clapped 4 times.
“Roy I swear to God if you sing that damn line one more time, I’m shoving my sword up your ass,” Ike grumbled.
“My gay ass would love that if I was a bottom,” Roy smirked.
“You are a bottom!” Came a distant shout.
“You have NO PROOF! SHUT UP!” Ike groaned. At that moment, the rest of the Fire Emblem gang walked in, sitting at their respective spots in their living room.
“God, why are there so many gay jokes?”
“Silly Ike, we’re all gay here! Even you.” Robin answered.
“I’m not gay, I’d never be gay.” Ike replied indignantly. Corrin laughed, “Sure you’re not, and I’m straight.”
“I’m serious! I’m not gay.” Ike insisted. Marth huffed and flipped his hair dramatically. “Oh yeah? And I’m white and my name is John Smith.”
“What the fu-”
“Shut up, straights aren’t allowed to speak in this house!” Roy shouted. Ike gasped, whipping his head around to glare at the ginger.
“How dare you! I-”
“He has a point, Ike,” Marth interrupted. “Until we have proof that you’re not straight, you aren’t allowed in these chambers anymore.” All the other members agreed, with Chrom hesitating before nodding.
“Fine then,” Ike huffed. “Since you guys can’t respect me, I’m perfectly fine with leaving! I’ll see you losers in hell.” Ike strutted out the room. Kamui sighed. Chrom munched on a fish stick.
“Roy?”
“Yes D- I mean, yes Marth?” Marth smirked.
“I would like you to keep an eye on our dear friend Ike. Could you do that for me,” He batted his eyelashes. Roy blushed and stood up, saluting with pride.
“Anything for you my love!” He exclaimed as he ran out of the room. He grumbled as he stomped through the halls of Smash Manor, complaining about how he hated this fucking family. Roy followed behind lousily, doing an awful job at staying hidden. Luckily for him, Ike was too wrapped up to pay attention. He soon ran to hide behind a conveniently placed trash can as soon as an angel (literally) rounded the corner.
“Oh! Hi Ike!” Pit waved as he enthusiastically walked over the swordsman. Roy peaked from behind the trash can, slapping his hand over his mouth in a sad attempt to stop himself from laughing. ‘Straight my ass, if only he could see his face right now!’
“Did you hear something?” Pit asked, looking over at the trash can. Ike narrowed his eyes and turned around.
“It did sound like someone was speaking.”
“Here, let me check it out.” Pit said as he began to walk towards the can. Ike left his hand near his sword, just in case. Roy panicked and looked up as he saw Pit looming over him. The angel gave him a questioning gaze, in which Roy replied with pleading one and gestured for him to go. Pit nodded in understanding and stood up, walking back over to Ike.
“I looked and there was nothing! Silly me…” he chuckled awkwardly. Ike hummed, feeling suspicious for a moment. He then remembered he was in the presence of the person who made his heart feel funny and he shook his head, letting out a cough
“Are you okay? You don’t have a cold or anything, right?” Pit asked as he leaned on his tippy toes to feel Ike’s forehead. Ike’s face flared red and Pit pulled his hand back immediately.
“Holy smokes your face is so red!” Ike coughed again, struggling to swallow.
“I’m fine my l- Pit, really.” Ike insisted.
“What was tha-”
“Nothing. That was nothing.” Pit shrugged his shoulders. Roy nearly laughed out loud. The redhead almost knocked over the trashcan when someone touched his shoulder. Robin placed his finger against his lips in a shushing motion. Roy nodded in understanding. The two continued to watch the angle and the swordsman interact, wheezing silently at Ike’s behaviour.
Pit grabbed Ike’s hand out of nowhere, and said with a bright smile on his face, “Walk with me.” Ike sputtered, tripped on nothing and fell to the ground, dragging Pit with him. He groaned as he opened his eyes, staring in horror at the person on top of him.
“It’s okay, I’m fine!” Pit said as he used his arms to move, causing himself to straddle the dude beneath him. Ike almost passed out right then and there. Roy and Robin almost suffocated, struggling to contain what they wanted to say. Both shared a look and waited. Pit got off from on top of Ike and held out his hand. Ike grabbed it and Pit grunted as he helped him up. The angel didn’t let go as he began to walk towards the gardens, with Roy and Robin following the two as quietly as possible.
“Pit,” Ike started, the two stopped right in front of the fountain. He looked deep inside of Pit’s cerulean eyes, his heart going ‘doki doki’ at 6969 miles per hour. Pit stared up at the buff swordsperson, a light blush on his face.
“I have something… to confess to you…” Ike murmured. Robin and Roy were shaking as they watched from the bushes.
“What is it?” Pit asked, his heart beating loudly.
“I… I love you…” Ike said, his eyes doing the thing that anime eyes do during moments like these. Roy and Robin sprang from the bushes. Pit squealed and hid behind Ike, with the taller of the two slapping his face so hard it could be heard in other universes.
“You’re gay!”
“You’re gay!” The two screamed in unison. Both Roy and Robin started doing the whip and the nae nae, krumping and boppin it like no tomorrow.
“We knew you were gay! You were just a coward to admit it!” Roy screamed. Pit looked at Ike, who grabbed the angel, placed him over his shoulder and began to walk away.
“Hit or Miss…” Robin started.
“I guess they never miss-” Roy was interrupted by a frozen fish stick colliding with his head.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ROBIN IF I HEAR THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AGAIN YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE MARTH FOR A WEEK!” Chrom yelled. Roy wailed in pain while Robin fell to the ground, weeping for the fish stick. Pit watched them until they were nothing but a speck as he and Ike entered the mansion.
Chrom: You shouldn't of made me throw that fish stick... It was a perfectly good fish stick you monster!
Me: Silly Chrom, if u complain again I wont let u have anymore fish sticks!
Chrom: Fine then, you monster,,,Me: What was that? *holds box of fish sticks over a fire*Chrom: I'm sorry a beautiful saviour of our world Me: That's more like it uwu! Don't forget to leave kudos and a review!!Rest of the Gang: *cheers*