Work Text
There was a man outside the office door.Another lawyer probably, Mike thought scowling at the floor. Shrugging, he pulled down the sleeves of the long t-shirt that he was wearing. It wasn't warm, but the thin barrier between him and the rest of the world made him feel a little better. Stupidly.He shifted as they came in. There wasn't a lot of room in Mel's office; there was a desk and some filing cabinets behind as of she were the guard dog for them. Behind there was a ratty looking sofa that she's tried to get him to sit in, but the chair had been fine. He had more control with the chair.Mel gestured the man to the chair next to Mike's, but didn't move to her desk chair. Instead, she rested back against the desk, her arms folded and eyes darting between the two of them as the man looked down at the chair indicated as if pained and then sat. He shifted, but it was clearly to get comfortable and adjust the fancy suit he was wearing."Mike, this is Harvey," Mel said. "Harvey, this is Mike."There was something…something about the way that she put emphasis on the name 'Mike' that seemed unusual.Whatever.But they were waiting for something so Mike sighed and looked over at Harvey. "Hi," he said, keeping his voice as uninterested as he possibly could.And Mel let it drift on which was even weirder until Harvey snorted."Look," he said, leaning forward, "I get what you're trying to prove. But it's not happening. Kid," he said, turning his attention to Mike, "You're in foster care, right?""Yes," Mike muttered."You want a room you don't have to share, food you can choose, an adult to yourself and no other kids to annoy you?""Yeah?" Mike said, looking over at Mel because that all sounded a little too good to be true and-"It's the adult to himself part that I'd challenge," Mel said sounding annoyed.Harvey spread his hands. "I take care of my own," he said firmly. "And you can't do jackshit. I was there when that amendment to the contract was written. It was signed and agreed. You literally have no say-""He is still an at-risk child-""Bullshit. By what criteria?" Harvey asked and Mike glanced between them baffled because he never, ever didn't understand what adults were saying. But this…clearly there was something huge that he was missing. As Mel hesitated, Harvey turned to Mike fully, shifting the chair around to do so. "You know you were adopted."Mike nodded slowly, not really sure where this was going. Except…"Well, when the papers were being drawn up there was an amendment. Written by one of the best lawyers I could find. That custody I renounced came back to me if and when there were no legal guardians left and you became a ward of the state. So, I'm Harvey Specter and ten years ago, I gave you up for adoption and now you are right back with me, kid. If you want it."Mie couldn't help but stare over at Mel in disbelief. "Is he serious?""You know I am," Harvey said firmly even as Mel nodded looking deeply unhappy. "And you don't know me and I don't know what you've been told or what you think. But you need somewhere stable, permanent and safe. I can offer those things. The rest…us…it either comes or it doesn't.""Harvey," Mel sighed again, "This is hardly the way-"The man stood and Mike pressed back a little, because that was just a sensible thing to do. But Harvey walked by him and headed towards the small window instead. There wasn't anything much out there, the window just overlooked another office and an alleyway but Harvey seemed to be staring all the same."You got sparrows," Harvey said pointing. "I got one. You should ignore them, let them come to you. Otherwise you'll frighten 'em." He turned and smiled, "or so says my Dad," he added with a careless shrug.Mel stared at him. And Mike looked between them, not at all sure where this was going only that Mel's gaze slid to Mike instead.XxxMel came with them to the new place. And it seemed it was a new place from what Harvey was saying."-three bedrooms," he complained, shifting in the taxi. "Never had so many bedrooms in my life. But everything is ticked off from that list.""Mm," Mel said, still sounding unconvinced about something. "Schools?""There are a few close by.""Mike's moved twice now," she said, looking down at Mike as if checking whether he wanted to be invited into this conversation. But he turned his head to watch the people on the sidewalk. There were so many and he rested his head against the window, waiting until there was a change in light and he just got a glimpse of Harvey's reflection in the window.They stopped in a pretty decent neighbourhood and Mike peered and then turned to see Harvey leaning forward to say something to the driver. Then they were outside in the warmth of the late summer sun and headed towards a building."You know what an associate is, kid?" Harvey asked as they headed in.Mike shook his head. "A type of lawyer?""It's the early stages of a partnership track," Harvey said, pressing a button for the lift. "I'm second year. Used to work at the DAs office. You know what that is?""District Attorney," Mike said, rocking from side to side because without Trevor or the other kids around it was kinda hard to know where the base level was. But being too clever didn't exactly endear you to anyone, he'd noticed."I'll make partner in the next few years," Harvey said and it didn't sound like a promise, more like a fact. "But I'll be out at work a lot so my Dad's living with us for a while. You like jazz?"Jazz? "Like old music?" Mike asked doubtfully."Bite your tongue," Harvey said, but his tone was light.They made their way to a door on the fifth floor and Mike found himself looking around curiously. The building seemed good, like there was no writing on the walls or the lingering spell of bodily fluids anywhere. Even the smell of pot was absent.Harvey opened the door and it led into an open plan kitchen and living space. It was tidy and clean and smelled a little bit like bleach and there was a man at the dining table in the kitchen area who had been reading a paper and was now staring at Mike."Which room is Mike's?" Mel asked calmly.Harvey pointed to a door leading off from the living room and Mel led him in that direction, letting him shift his backpack as the man stood and seemed to be saying something quietly to Harvey.The room behind the door was small but completely his. There was a single bed, a desk and a window along with a wardrobe and the floorspace was probably just wide enough to fit another single bed in. It was plain and impersonal and very new and neat and Mike stupidly couldn't help but picture his old room where there were still crayon stains next to the bed from where he and Trevor had once tried to scribble dinosaurs in a fit of childish tantrum because his Dad wouldn't let him have a whole new dinosaur theme room and-"Mike?"Turning, he scrubbed at his cheek and nodded. "It's good," he said, not meeting her eyes. "Better than the last place."She sighed and nodded and then sat down on the bed. "He's a good man," she promised. "He'll be busy, but," she looked around, "this is more than most get."Yeah. Mike nodded. "Who's the other man?""That's his father, Gordon," Mel said gently, "We said that he'd be staying here with you. They're gonna see how it goes for a while."Right. "I don't have to call him…" he peered at the window as if that might help. "You know.""No," Mel said, that same gentle tone. "Call him what makes you feel comfortable."Mike nodded and had an inexplicable urge to hold onto her which was dumb because he'd met her like seven times and they'd spent probably about twenty hours together but pathetically she was like the only constant in his life since the accident. "When's the next visitation?""We're gonna do one every three months for a year," she said.What?"This isn't like a foster home," she said. "This is a permanent residence with your father. He's passed all the checks, met our requirements and the adoption contract's amendment was very clear. But, if there is a problem-""Yeah," he said because he knew the number and where she worked and that there were like a hundred kids that she was in charge of who now all had it worse of than him so what could he really call up to complain about.Mel studied him and then smiled. "Shall we go back out. I think pizza was mentioned."Reluctantly, Mike followed.The two men were both standing, but leaning against the kitchen worktop and seemed to be discussing something quietly. The older man, Gordon, looked as if he wanted to stop, but Harvey kept talking about something and it was easier without all that attention on him."I believe you mentioned pizza?" Mel said, laying a comforting hand on Mike's shoulder that he both wanted to lean into and pull away from."Yeah," Gordon said. "You got a favourite kind, kid?" he asked, and he turned to rifle through some take-out menus.Mike shook his head and Gordon looked a little lost for a moment."Anything you don't like?" Harvey asked going to the fridge. "Or anything that'll make you blow up like a balloon and end up with you in hospital.""You don't blow up like a balloon," Mike muttered."Seen it," Harvey countered. "Is that a yes?"Mike shook his head. Then because it seemed like he was getting a shot here. "Sweetcorn's gross.""I mean you're wrong, but fine," Harvey said as he pulled out a beer. Gordon shot him a look and Harvey ignored it. "Any other weird dislikes?"Mike eyed the beer for a moment and then shook his head."Harvey," Mel said quietly, "Can we have a word?"Harvey nodded and then looked down at the beer, "If it's about-" he started to say, sounding annoyed."It's not," she said and then nodded back at Mike's room which okay, fine. Not like he wasn't used to a bedroom not really being his.Gordon watched him like he was a bomb that might go off. "Must be strange," he said slowly. "Just turning up here and knowing you're gonna live here."Mike snorted. "You've never been in foster care then," he muttered."No," Gordon said, in that same slow and steady voice. "Is this how it happens then?"Mike shrugged. Then relented a little bit. "Yeah. You need somewhere to stay. You go there. Usually there're more kids."Gordon seemed to think he meant that like it was a good thing. "Well…I'm sure you'll make friends soon enough."This man, Mike thought, was a moron.XxxxThey hadn't been kidding when they'd said that Harvey was busy. For the first week or so, Harvey was out before Mike even woke up. Even on a weekend. He got back when Mike was going to bed and they'd have a brief, one-sided conversation about school or homework or about how he got to school and then Mike would retreat to his room.His room.Gordon was around though and that was awkward. The man seemed to stare at Mike every second they were together and there was a sharp edge of guilt around his eyes that Mike didn't really want to look into. He trailed after Mike sometimes like a useless kicked dog and it was uncomfortable."I can't help it," Gordon muttered to Harvey one night. "If I'd-""It's done," Harvey said tightly, staring at the TV when Mike peeked. "Just get over it."And there too seemed to lay some unspoken grievance. At the weekend, Harvey and Gordon were often easy around each other. There were a few…sharp tones, usually when it came to meal times or routines when they clashed in what they liked to do. But sometimes there was an undercurrent.It almost made Mike want to ask. Not 'cause he cared or anything just because…well, he liked knowing things.There was still some backlog it seemed in his school records because none of the teachers seemed to expect anything of him and there wasn't that discussion about jumping him forward a few grades or having extra classes like he'd had when his Mom and Dad had been alive which was a relief because, for the first time in his life, Mike almost felt normal at school. He wasn't the geek, he wasn't the foster kid. He was just…there.Gordon tried to help him with his homework. Which was laughable really because Mike found himself biting his tongue more often than not because the man while well-intentioned took ages to figure things out. Like it was really important and he wanted Mike to do well and that was bullshit because adults hated kids who were smarter than them.Only his Mom and Dad and Grammy had liked it. Mostly. But even then they'd sometimes seemed a bit lost with what to do with him.They had to read at school. It was like some unspoken law which was brilliant because Mike found that the teachers and librarian never compared notes and he just kept one book at school and read it a few times while burying the rest under his bed where only the cleaner looked and he flew through those. And no-one took them or ripped them up or used them to hit him over the head because he was a geek boy.It was probably one of the best things about living with Harvey.That, and the law books.Harvey brought work home and would leave stuff out. And Gordon went to bed early and Harvey either went to sleep around midnight or was out until midnight and Mike could creep out and take a law book, curling up with it and then sneak it back before he went to sleep. He became an expert at reading under the covers with a flashlight.They were hard. In a way that Mike had never really experienced before and he found himself writing down words or references to look up later and he loved it because he'd never had to put his brain to work like this before.It took a month for Harvey to well…not ease back on work. Mike had quickly learned that the man didn't do that. If he was out it was for client meetings, if he was in, there was usually a case in his hand. He took breaks and watched TV shows with Mike and Gordon and talked but he also disappeared into a gym or for a run or would come back smelling of perfume and Mike guessed that he was someone who liked to be busy. But perhaps Harvey adapted a little. He was almost like some shifting dragon, adjusting piles to his liking and then settling back down again."Up," he said one Saturday morning as Mike sat in bed with a book. Then he tilted his head in surprise as Mike shoved the book away."Kid, you can read. Not like it's a secret," Harvey said, giving him a weird look. "Get some sweats on and meet me outside in five."Mike rushed to get dressed, but his brain kept turning that over.To his surprise, when he got out, Gordon was ready to go too. Harvey shoved a piece of toast into Mike's hand and then they left, heading down the street, Gordon and Harvey talking about some thing and Mike trailed behind them, unsure.They went to a boxing club."You ever done this before?" Harvey asked as Gordon greeted a few people."No," Mike muttered, glancing at the door.Harvey smiled wryly. "You might hate the idea, kid. But you're giving it a go," he said and took Mike's hands to fit some gloves on. "You been in a fight before?"Mike was pretty sure that three against one, keeping him pinned down wasn't exactly a fight. "No," he settled for saying."It's good," Harvey said, his lips tugging down briefly. "Let's you get annoyed, get the anger out." He held up a pad. "Hit it."Rolling his eyes, Mike did but made sure to put no force behind it, hoping to annoy the man into dropping this. But he said nothing. Just help up another pad.They did this for five minutes. Harvey said nothing and Mike found himself hitting a little harder each time.Not once did Harvey comment about his strength or effort. And it was both good and frustrating."It's been five weeks," Harvey said. And there wasn't a question there. and Mike glanced at him and then hit at the pads a little harder, suddenly wanting to make the man's hands move. Make something in him move or react.Nothing.Shifting his feet, Mike narrowed his eyes and tried harder. And it was strange because he wasn't sure that him and Harvey had ever been this close for so long before. And usually Harvey was in a suit and seemed so…absent. Distant.His dad had never been like that.This time the hits were harder. Still not enough to make Harvey's hands move as they held the pads up in a repetitive rhythm. But it felt different to what Mike had done for the first thirty seconds.His Dad had been cosy. He'd been silly and happy and baffled by Mike but easy going and rubbish at laying down rules. They'd watch movies together or read books or play games and Mike won far too often and he'd been drinking when he'd been driving home and-The pads were no longer there and instead he was being hugged roughly, surprised at the fact that the t-shirt in front of him was wet even though Harvey hadn't really done anything. And Mike found he couldn't stop the tears or pull them back in or just stop and he fought to get free but Harvey just held on tight and didn't say a word.And for a second Mike hated him, though he couldn't explain why."I miss my dad," he said, trying to hiss it, but his voice cracked and collapsed. Still, he felt Harvey tighten like he'd just absorbed a blow. But still the man said nothing.Xxx"Adjust your feet," Gordon said as Mike was forced to continue this ridiculous activity. Apparently, even snotting over Harvey hadn't been enough to get them to stop. Over in the ring, Harvey and a guy were making Mike's attempts look deeply pathetic."Why?" Mike complained."Helps your balance," Gordon explained. "Solid foundations are important."Solid foundations. Mike looked down at his feet, at the new sneakers that Harvey had come home with last week and just dumped in Mike's room without a word and the socks that social services had given him because that was pretty much one of the few things they could hand out like it was water and felt himself snort.Then, he looked up and met Gordon's gaze before he turned on heel and headed towards the door.Outside was cold and Mike hissed in surprised even as he turned and turned again. A quick look up and he found his way towards what looked like they had once been courts or might well be still used as courts but it was getting a bit too cold now and Mike collapsed against the wire fence of it, holding onto the links as if that might help."Get back inside," Harvey shouted, sounding furious. His t-shirt was soaked in sweat and he'd dumped the gloves, unlike Mike."Fuck you," Mike hissed, moving away."Sullen act is getting a bit old now," Harvey said, and the man was following him like that documentary Mike had once seen with a sheepdog yipping at the feet of the herd it was trying to manage. "You changing it up?"God he just wanted the man to shut up. He never spoke and when he did it was this? Mike turned the corner again and-Dead end.Breathing heavily, he stared at the wall, convinced somehow that the world had just betrayed him because if there had been another street and another than maybe he could have run and then-Then he could have seen if Harvey would have properly chased after him.When he turned around, Harvey wasn't even there. Humiliated, Mike started to retrace his steps until he found Harvey standing buy the courts still, leaning against the fence with his arms crossed and looking completely unsurprised."Go back in," Harvey said, staring at him, "and hit something until you feel better.""Can I hit you?" Mike snapped.Harvey stared at him for a moment, absolutely nothing showing on his face. "No," he said after a moment. "People who try to run away, don't get to go toe-to-toe with me."And with that, he swept back into the gym without a backwards glance.XxxIt became a thing. They went most Saturdays, but more often than not it was just him and Gordon. But the more they went, the more obvious it because that Gordon and Harvey came to the gym without Mike. That Harvey still came to the gym even if he didn't come with Mike.XxxIt got colder and colder and Mel came by and seemed happy even if Mike tried to be as sullen and bitchy as he could, though he wasn't sure why.Then the C word happened."Christmas cards," the art teacher said happily and Mike stared at her in horror. Half because he wasn't four and half because well…Christmas. With Harvey and Gordon. Not with Mom and Dad and Grammy.He felt sick.And he realised that Gordon was tip-toeing around the subject and Harvey seemed unaware of the time of the year because he seemed to live by case deadlines rather than dates or months. And Mike couldn't bear the idea of spending Christmas with either of them so-So.It wasn't exactly hard to steal. What was more shocking was how hard it was to get caught. In the end, Mike had to resort to picking up a game in a department store and walked out with it under his jumper.Nothing.By that point he had about fifty dollars that he had stolen out of various teacher's wallets, some sweets that he'd lifted from the market and now this. And he couldn't even play it.Fine.So he smashed a shop window (or at least tried to) and boy did that get noticed."Five times," Officer Wells muttered as he drove the police car through New York traffic. "Five times you hit that window with the brick."Stupid glass.The officer tried to catch his gaze in the mirror. "What's going on at home?""Nothing," Mike muttered, which was true.Except that nothing wasn't quite the reaction he got when he was delivered to the front door of their apartment."You did what?" Gordon asked, sounding absolutely baffled by the idea."Five times," Officer Wells added helpfully. "Wouldn't shatter, would it, Mike?"Mike glared at the ceiling because if course he'd had to get arrested by the one police officer that seemed to find that detail funny."When you father hears about this-""What you gonna do? Hold a séance?" Mike sneered and felt a twisted burning glee when Gordon's face fell, just a little."Mr Shae isn't going to press charges," Office Wells said into the awkward silence that followed. "But the window needs to be replaced and-""Of course," Gordon said, sounding shaken. "What do we need to do?"XxxHarvey knew the next morning.In silence, they went back down to the shop and Harvey stood, staring at the spiderwebbed glass where Mike had tried to shove a brick through."You told me to hit things."Harvey said nothing but continued to stare and the silence was more hateful than anything."I don't want to spend Christmas with you," Mike sneered. "I don't want to be here and-""I know," Harvey hissed back. "I know. You want a time machine. Tough shit. It ain't happening and we are where we are. So start dealing with it and get your shit together."And, with that, he strode into the grocery shop and Mike felt oddly betrayed when the man just handed over a cheque.XxxThere was a family home that the Specter family went to for Christmas and Mike hated every second of the journey on the train and tried to make sure that everyone damn well knew it. He ignored his 'Uncle' Marcus and the wife, Katie, that he had and refused to speak to anyone when the issue of presents was raised.And there were no books, just endless records in the living room which completely sucked. And there was a muttered debate about who would sleep on the sofa until Harvey announced it would be Mike and when Gordon debated that Harvey just said they all needed a door to close.Dick.The first night, Mike stared at the door, but there wasn't much point, was there. There was no-where to run to and this was as good as it would get and he knew that Harvey wouldn't chase after him so there was no point testing that.He woke to quiet voices in the morning."-still looks cute when he sleeps," Marcus was muttering quietly."Yeah. Deceptive , isn't it?" Harvey said from the opposite sofa.He got dragged out for a walk which he hated and made sure to stay away from the adults on the walk with him. Harvey was absent because he was doing some work at the house and Mike could feel the tell-tale signs of boredom starting to hit because there was nothing.Then they started to drink on Christmas Eve.So Mike hid the car keys and spent the afternoon quietly trying not to hyperventilate in the corner because that was weird, right? Even weirder than his brain and just him generally, it was weird to have a panic attack when adults had a drink.Harvey went up to take a call and Marcus called that he was going for ice and then stomped around the house trying to find his keys and Mike stood half frozen because he might get in the car or he might realise Mike had hidden them and then…one of the kids he'd been with in foster care had taken something and the guy there had started shouting and there had been thumping noises in that room and-He locked himself in the bathroom and reached in the toilet. He wasn't even sick, it was just like his stomach couldn't stop clenching and his chest ached and he didn't know what to do except stay quiet."Mike?" Gordon said, knocking on the door. "Are you all right?"He couldn't reply. All he could do was shake against the toilet seat and hold on for dear life to the toilet bowl. It stunk a little but he couldn't even move or breathe and his hands skittered on the off white surface every time he tried to move.He wanted…He tried to want his Mom and Dad and Grammy but he couldn't quite get the picture right, or rather they didn't seem right in this house or even with him right now. They wouldn't recognise the quiet, angry kid who stole and tried to break a window or hid car keys and books.His mom would be disgusted with him.The thought broke through him like a wave that had been bubbling and brewing for months and he pressed his lips together, because if he let any of it spill out he wasn't sure it would stop and he didn't know what to do."Mike," Gordon was banging on the door now. "Mike, I need you to come out."He couldn't. He was barely remembering how to breathe. Because this was it. This was his life and he was…so messed up. He didn't even know where to begin.There was a weird noise and then Gordon was there, swearing and trying to gather Mike into his arms and Mike couldn't stop shaking and for some reason it was important to hold onto the toilet which was so fucking wrong and he was going to be sick-He threw up properly in the bowl this time and there was a shushing noise and someone stroking his hair and Mike couldn't stop the sob that welled up."Jesus," Marcus whispered, "What's wrong with him?""Give me that," Gordon ordered and Marcus handed him a towel and Mike felt the warmth tuck around his shoulders before Gordon hauled him up and into his lap. He dipped his hand under the bath taps and used his hand to wipe the sick from Mike's chin until Marcus handed him a washcloth.Then he rocked Mike like he was a baby and it felt so good to finally be held again and to listen to a heartbeat and smell someone's clothes and feel their breath against your hair in gentle lulling sounds."What the hell happened?" Harvey asked from the door and, when Mike looked up, he had a bag of ice in his hands and-Car keys.He'd driven.It was like the air squeezed from his lungs because…because he hadn't taken Harvey's car keys. And what if Harvey had…what if…"Okay," Gordon said, scrambling him forward, just in time so that Mike could be sick again, even though it was mostly just spit and water. "Marcus take the ice.""Kid," Harvey was closer now. "Are you sick? Is he sick?" he asked Gordon."I don't know," Gordon replied and someone was stroking his back as Mike retched again.Harvey, Mike realised, was not quite so happy to deal with Mike's sick. He reached for the washcloth and handed it to Mike and then seemed to realise that was a bust and so, with a slight hesitation, wiped Mike's face for him when Mike pulled back. "Something you ate?""You drove," Mike whispered, horrified.Harvey looked baffled. For all of three seconds. And then he hissed under his breath and stroked a hand through Mike's hair-Not giving a shit, Mike threw himself at Harvey, almost trying to tuck himself into the man's chest cavity."Okay," Harvey sounded more lost than Mike had ever heard him. He must have mouthed something because Gordon snorted as if amused. Instead, he shifted Mike a little and then wrapped his arms around him fully and just sat with him.XxxThe adults had stopped drinking and there was a film on. And Mike wasn't sure how it had happened, but he was on the sofa with Harvey, tucked onto his lap and in his arms and there was a blanket over him and the film was terrible and it was so cosy-"-seriously the first time?" Marcus was asking."Your brother hasn't even moved," Gordon replied sounding oddly amused. "You doing all right there, Harvey?""Think my right arm is dead," Harvey muttered, "And this shit is awful. Why are we watching this?""You want this?" Marcus asked. "Think of it as payback," he said when there was a silence. "How many times did you keep the remote from me. And this time, I don't have to give it back because you'll make your kid cry.""I never made him cry," Harvey muttered, shifting Mike a little to rest his hair on his hair. "He just had good lungs as a baby."What? Not even pretending to be asleep, Mike shifted and stared up at Harvey curiously."Dad, do you have a new record?" Marcus asked, sounding a little apologetic."You have to actually listen to it," Gordon muttered, "all the way through."The door shut behind them quietly and Harvey stared at Mike for the longest time before he shifted and wriggled a bit before he had his wallet in his hand. And then, he dug into one of the slots and pulled out a crumpled, old photograph.It was of Harvey, much younger. And with a baby.Except, it wasn't like a newborn. It was a kid with blond hair, and blue eyes and he was standing on Harvey's lap, looking up at something in delight.Harvey let him take it. "You were eighteen months old when we started the process," he said slowly. "Almost two when it was official. We had the same set up as now. I was at college, Dad looked after you and Marcus. I did as many credits as I could in as short a time. It was hard but it was working…" Harvey hummed. "I mean it wasn't, but we got by."There was something about seeing it that was…more real? Mike kept staring at baby him with Harvey, his thumb touching the grin on Harvey's face."My mum had been having an affair. I knew but…" Harvey reached for the photo, tossing his wallet to the side and almost covering Mike's hands with his own. "She promised me it was done. And when I came home with you she swore to me. But it wasn't and she left and Dad was… a mess. And the finances went to shit and he couldn't stay at home with you, he needed to get something else and I was in my last year of college and…" he took a breath. "I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted this life. And I knew you…I was a kid and the people I'd relied on to help balance that out for you were falling apart and you deserved a real family, kid. You deserved someone who wasn't terrified they would fail you or resent you." Harvey's arms tightened. "You ain't the only one who sometimes wishes they had a time machine."Mike turned, wriggling a little so that they were face to face, not sure what to do with that information. "I got freaked out that you would drive.""While drinking?" Harvey asked and Mike nodded. "You weren't told that," he muttered."I heard them," Mike admitted, letting Harvey take the photograph and put it to one side. "They said Dad was drunk, but he was never drunk," he said, not sure why it was important, "he only ever had one. And they said-"Harvey sighed and stroked a hand through Mike's hair. He looked as if he were going to say something, but seemed to think better of it."I hid the car keys," Mike admitted."I figured.""I didn't know you had car keys. You never drive."Harvey looked slightly put out by that. "I drive," he said, as if insulted. "Was that what had you…worried?"Mike hesitated and then nodded."Liar," Harvey said, but his voice was warm, almost amused."I…I thought I might get in trouble," Mike admitted, staring at the blanket now."Kid, if I didn't loose it when you came home with a police escort-""Sam stole money from one of the foster families and then there was a lot of banging and thumping in the next room," Mike muttered. Harvey, when he risked a look, was staring past Mike and then looked at him.Mike wasn't sure what he was looking for, but Harvey seemed to brace himself. "Any of 'em ever…" Harvey shifted and Mike found himself being drawn a little further in, "hurt you?"No. Mike shook his head. "Just, you know. The kids. They used to…" he hesitated.Harvey waited."I like to read," Mike whispered."I noticed. It's allowed," Harvey said and then hummed, "but I guess that didn't go down well."Mike shook his head. "They used to take my books. Sometime they'd throw them at me."Harvey pulled a face and pulled him in close. "Time machines," he whispered in Mike's ear and it made him smile for some reason.XxxHe felt so shit on Christmas morning.There was a stocking for him and Gordon made some fancy breakfast that was delicious and was singing around the room in a way that made Harvey roll his eyes and grin. And Marcus gave Mike a wink and had collected all the car keys and told him to give them back the following day.And he didn't have any presents for any of them. So (and he knew it didn't make any sense) he took to following Gordon around for the day trying to help cook things and not be annoying. Which apparently didn't work because Gordon walked him back to the living room where Harvey and Marcus were having some sort of disagreement over a game and told Harvey it was his turn to deal with 'Jekyll'.Harvey, it turned out, was doing some trivia game against both Marcus and his wife and just beckoned Mike over. A little shy, and not sure why, Mike meandered over and watched quietly, feeling oddly wrung out.He barely lasted past food.XxxxThe next day, Gordon sat with him and read books that were way too easy, but he actually read them to Mike which was nice. Harvey was taking care of some work again and Marcus was listening to something on his headphones before he left to take a trip to his wife's family.And, Mike was pretty sure he heard Gordon whisper 'Goodnight, Charlie' before he fell asleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Somehow, despite the theft before winter break, Mike isn't expelled from school.He thinks it's a close call. He also thinks that Harvey did something because the man goes in with the money and comes back about an hour later with a grin on his face and that dismissive 'of course I got this' attitude that Mike's becoming really familiar with."They'll know," Mike says (he doesn't whine, no matter what Harvey claims) the evening before he goes back (and it is just him, everyone else went back two days ago)."Yup," Harvey says and he's sat reading the paper, legs crossed while Gordon listens to something with headphones, pen tapping against the wood of the table. It's quiet time and Mike thinks that he could bring a book out, but he's read everything that he brought home and he isn't sure which one Harvey's seen him read and he thinks that maybe the man is starting to pay much more attention now.Mike waits for Harvey to say something else, but apparently that's all he feels the need to contribute to the discussion. "They'll hate me," Mike prompts.Harvey glances at him over the pages of the newspaper and shrugs. "Don't steal then," he says and that's apparently about as much sympathy as he's getting.XxxSchool is…okay. Sometimes he thinks back to when Trevor and Tess were his only friends and his parents were alive and school was better but worse because all the kids in the classes hated him because he was younger and smarter than them and Trevor would be waiting outside the door and they'd sneak off somewhere where no-one could find them and sometimes Tess would hide candy in her pockets from her mom and they'd sit out in the sun, sheltered from view and barter for the best treats.Now is different. There's Mason and Elijah and Jayden and Mike finds himself flitting between the three in a way that is strangely freeing after all of Trevor's rules about being best friends. The girls are a bit more of a mystery to him now, but there's Emma who can talk to him about baseball and who begged him when he started to help her even out the hair that she's hacked off because her mom would kill her and he was the only kid left in the room when she snuck back in looking for scissors. So it's better but not and it's lightyears better than the school he was at while in care so there's that.But he is so bored. And, apparently, playing it way too dumb."A tutor?" he checks, horrified at the idea, "but Gordon helps me," he argues.Harvey digs his fork deep into the Chinese takeaway pot. "Look, you need better grades. We get you help." He shrugs."What if I got them on my own?" Mike asks, completely forgetting about his food."Not how it works," Harvey says and there's maybe a hint of sympathy in his voice, but not much. "You ordered that," he adds, pointing at Mike's meal with the fork, "You eat it."Sighing, Mike prods at his food, half hoping there's a way to crawl inside of it.XxxThe tutor is a dick.He's patronising and smug and Mike immediately hates him. And he has no idea why Harvey picked him except that maybe Harvey wants to punish him for the whole theft thing which is beyond unfair.And being tutored in Math is diabolical. Mike learned quickly that usually to do the sums at the same time as most other people, he simply had to count up to the number being used. But apparently, he was now counting too slow."So you know the three times table?"Fuck off.Like right now. Mike stared at the paper and imagined it. If he said it. If he finished all the sums on the sheet and then jammed the pencil up Roland's nose.The douche takes the silence as a no. "Write 3 on the page and then count up in 3s," Roland says in the most patronising tone ever.Mike refuses to do it. He doesn't care if it means he drops out of school or gets left on the sidewalk. He is not writing out the three times table.They're alone and Roland makes a noise of frustration before looking at the clock because someone will be home soon and the guy either wants back-up or permission to leave. Huffing, he moves them onto Biology and Roland's spelling is shit even as he tries to explain how cells work using an overly detailed analogy of a sponge and he's so far from the mark that Mike doesn't know whether to laugh, cry or seriously re-educate him.Roland's cell goes, just as Mike thinks his teeth might have worn down from clenching them and Roland steps away as if Mike's hearing only works when you're three paces away."Yeah, still here," Roland mutters. Then, "I dunno. Thought he'd be smarter. It's Harvey Specter's kid, after all."Which hurts.It's Gordon who arrives first, and Roland smiles brightly and says Mike was great and then pockets the cash that Gordon hands over before trotting off.Harvey gets in just as Mike is meant to be going to sleep and stinks of smoke like he's chugged a bucket of cigars which makes Gordon look amused as Harvey mutters something about the quality of what he was smoking and Mike watches him because…well…Harvey's a lawyer. And that means he's smart, right? Not like Mike's smart, but still smart. And maybe having a kid that needs to be tutored and that is coming home with Cs and Ds isn't what Harvey was hoping for. Not that Mike thinks Harvey was hoping for anything; Mike's half convinced that if Harvey could, he'd shove Mike into some sort of butterfly cocoon for five years and collect him when he's grown.Harvey must catch his expression as he's taking off his coat. "Have you started another theft pile?" he asks, sounding somehow both annoyed and amused by the idea."No," Mike mutters, digging his feet into the dip between the couch cushions. In punishment, he ignores Harvey as the man settles back in and Harvey doesn't seem too bothered as he heads towards the table and starts to lay out his papers."I hate Roland.""Who don't you hate?" Harvey asks, sounding hugely unconcerned by the idea. And it makes Mike want to be a brat because Harvey asked if something was wrong and then lost interest within about ten seconds."Gordon," Mike says, glaring at the TV and trying to work out where to go next for maximum impact. "My real dad. Jayden's dad."He's being way too obvious. Even Gordon glances at him, as if trying not to snigger."Great," Harvey says.And that's it.Maybe he should steal again. That seemed to work last time.There's something left in the arsenal."They don't hate me for being dumb."It hits better than he expected and Mike's surprised by the sudden hurt that follows when he sees Gordon glare at Harvey as if they've actually already had this argument.Oh.The silence hangs and Mike doesn't want to look at Harvey because Gordon's face is softening as he studies Mike and he moves as if to say or do something so Mike stands and flees the room for the safety of his own.And he doesn't know what he's thinking. Relief because there's a way out if he uses this. Hurt because…well…what did he expect? And he knows that Gordon and Harvey are talking outside in hushed, furious tones and he feels this weird spark of power because he can so control this. And it's probably gonna end badly but then he's rather get there quicker than be lulled into the false security that Christmas gave him when he got to curl up on Harvey's lap and work wasn't a constant threat and he had the man's full attention (or as much as anyone ever got).Harvey did something with the school, Mike realises. So Mike must be on shaky ground. If he can get himself thrown out and they review his grades and he scares off Roland then maybe Harvey will-Fire the tutor and do it himself--have to accept that Mike isn't worth it, that he will not be made in Harvey's image and then Harvey will decide that Mike can just go because Harvey isn't gonna keep him if he's a disappointment.It hurts. The thought of it is like he's eaten glass and its slicing up his guts, but somehow, it's addictive because he gets to be the one that makes Harvey's mind up rather than wait for judgement.He gets rude. Like, so rude that Mike can barely believe the words coming out of his mouth. And Jayden is like instantly told not to hang out with Mike by his mom and ignores it at first but after two weeks is staring at Mike with horror and almost slinks out of sight as soon as Mike opens his mouth. Mason think's it's hilarious but sulks when Mike gets his favourite teacher annoyed.If someone calls Harvey then no-one tells Mike.So the fight happens.Some part of Mike was sure that just because he was dragged to boxing by Gordon nearly every weekend that surely he'd just win, right? So when he picks a fight with a kid in the year above, he's not really sure why, but pretty sure that he'll be able to stand his ground.The vitriol that spews out from him is…well, by this point his mom would have locked him up for life and yelled at him daily. It means he gets the full brunt of fury and that's not so inconsiderable when the kid's cousin joins in. And Mike's not really got anyone left at the moment who'll jump into help him out.He's taken down to the principle's office with a bloody lip, a swollen eye and a wrist that he thinks might be broken but he says nothing because…well…He doesn't want to examine why.And of course it's Gordon who turns up.He stands with his arms folded and glares down at Mike. They leave the school in silence."Am I-""Yep," Gordon replies tightly as they leave the entrance. "They are not taking you back."XxxGordon is furious with him. So angry that he's giving Mike the silent treatment but it's almost like it's because he thinks that if he speaks, he might never stop yelling. So they get home in silence and Mike takes himself straight to his room and sits with his back to the door to examine the wrist.It's really swollen and hurts like a bitch.But it's like…that's something he's allowed to be upset over because it's physical and real and everyone can see it (or could if he showed them) and if he tells someone then it will be fixed and the…permission? To be upset will be taken away.They said that his mom's wrist had broken. In three places. He remembers because she hadn't died on impact and someone…someone official, it was all a blur that night, had muttered about her not being able to draw and he'd pictured giving her a hug if she got upset about that and then-He tucks his sleeve up.XxxHarvey gets home, early from him and Mike can hear him through the door because Harvey doesn't bother to keep his voice down."Where is he?" he demands as soon as the door slams shut.There's a quiet reply and Mike turns, pressing his head to the door where he sits and holds his breath, because this is it. Surely this is it.They get quiet for a bit and then:"Don't even," Harvey snaps, "I've been putting up with this bullshit too."It's so weird, being in control of something you don't want to happen. Bittersweet triumph? The kind of terror Mike imagines you get before cliff jumping even though it's your choice. It's something like that, surely."No," Harvey says when Gordon says something else quietly. "No, he can live with that mistake. I'm not going back in there for him while he's like this."Mike closes his eyes.XxxDinner is a silent affair. Both Gordon and Harvey are glowering at their meal and Mike picks at his because only one hand works. And he's waiting for the moment when Harvey reaches out, uncoiling suddenly and-The man goes for the hand that Mike's not using and he flinches back because he knows it'll hurt except it's a proper flinch and Harvey just sort of freezes."What did you do?" Harvey asks, nodding down at Mike's hand and settling back, just a little.Mike ignores him and looks back at his plate instead."You have until three," Harvey threatens."Or what?"Harvey stares at him and then just reaches for his hand again and Mike tries to leave but the man's quicker than him and somehow Harvey manages to get to his wrist just right and Mike gasps in pain, eyes watering as Harvey swears."Did you check him over?" he demands of Gordon who blinks down at Mike's wrist. "You need the hospital," he mutters, glaring at the swollen joint.Mike shakes his head. He is not going to a hospital. He spent a whole night there once on the worst day of his life and he is never, ever going back."Not a discussion," Harvey snaps and stands."No," Mike says, feeling his heart beat wildly."I don't give a shit-" Harvey begins."Yeah, got that message," Mike snarls.Gordon just gestures to Mike as if he's proven some sort of point and Harvey just…clicks his jaw. It's weird and Mike is kinda surprised by how weird it is."I'm not going with you. I'll go with Gordon," Mike says and he's waiting to see if Harvey will argue it or tell him he's going with the social or that Mike can just get out and wait in the goddamned street then but Harvey says nothing. Instead, he nods and looks away and at the window.Mike thinks he might just hate Harvey the most of everything in the world, but he can't quite work out why.XxxThe wrist is set and plastered and they give him some pills and Gordon the instructions because Mike is just a dumb kid."Do you know what Harvey does for a living?" Gordon asks while they wait for the cast to set and the doctor to write up everything. It's like almost midnight and Mike has a moment of glee at realising he's up late and might get out of school before his brain catches up because he doesn't have a school to go to anymore because they couldn't be bothered with his shit, just like Harvey."Makes rich people richer," Mike mutters.Gordon hums. "Yes," he admits after a while. "But he likes to win. And that's his job. Every day. Battling, arguing, trying to get people to do things his way. He's good. Really good. He's a strong man and I'm proud."Mike doesn't look at him because the comparison between Mike and Harvey right now seems like the perfect example of juxtaposition."But sometimes I do wonder how much it's ruined the other side of him. Ruined," he repeats and winces at his own words. "I didn't mean…he's not used to softer emotions. Patience and sympathy and such. So he'd never say it, Mike, but you are hurting him."Mike snorts. The man is probably hours from making the call. The only thing Mike is hurting is Harvey Specter's reputation.XxxThey get back to the apartment and Harvey is stood by a window, staring at nothing."Want me to sign it," he asks, turning to Mike as they walk in.Mike doesn't even dignify it with an answer before he walks into his room and slams the door shut.His room has become a sanctuary of sorts. There are clothes in the wardrobe that he hopes he can take with him, if for no other reason than at least the kids wherever he ends up with will have something to take and leave the books alone for a while. There are boxing gloves on the side and his sneakers are…well…there's becoming a collection of them and-He doesn't want to lose it.Miserable, he stares at his arm and wishes a little that he'd let Harvey write on it, but even that feels too much like giving in or something.He falls asleep still dressed and on top of the covers, but wakes up with his feet bare and under the covers, the lights off and a glass of water close by.XxxFor three days they sort of tip-toe around each other.Then, one day at breakfast, Harvey mentions going to an interview at a private school."What?" Mike asks, peering up at him because seriously, what?Harvey watches him. "I'm not giving you back," he says suddenly. And it's not done with emotion or anything, just like how he said that there was milk this morning. Like it's a fact.Mike tries to digest that for a moment. It doesn't quite compute and he can't make it add up in his head."But…I got expelled."And Harvey blinks. Then leans back, arms folding and it's bad enough when he does this in a suit, but somehow him doing it while dressed down in jeans and a tee is worse. "You sneaky little shit," he mutters after a moment. "You were trying to piss me off?"Mike shrugs."This is about the comment about you being dumb," Harvey says after a moment and he looks, well, annoyed with himself. "You did all of this because some suck up trying to get into Harvard called you out?"When it's phrased like that…And Harvey isn't looking annoyed, more like a puzzle has slotted together and he's seeing it and planning because of it. Then he stands, pulling the closest chair with him until he sits in front of Mike, twisting his chair a little too."We had a moment," Harvey says, searching him, "At Christmas." He hums and it's almost as if he can read the answers on Mike's face. "You panicked," he decides and scowls a little. "Hurts more when you care, doesn't it? When someone leaves."It's too close to a realisation that Mike hasn't even tried to process yet or admit to himself and he lets his gaze skitter away and along the table."Mike," Harvey says and it surprises him because Harvey rarely ever says his name, "I told you. You're my kid. That means you're here.""Yeah," Mike snarls, "For another eighteen months or so before you get bored again.""If you really believed that, if you really believed I didn't care," Harvey says and there's a firmness to him, a confidence as if he's just unlocked the book of Mike Ross and is actually getting it, "You wouldn't say that because it'd be a waste of time. Can't hurt someone who doesn't care, Mike."But Harvey doesn't look hurt. And maybe Gordon has a point or maybe Harvey just doesn't like to quit."And the thing is" Harvey continues, pulling away a little, "I know how to do this, kid. You want attention? This is not the way to get it. I deal with difficult assholes all day, you are a drop in the ocean for me."Mike wants so badly to be cool. To tell Harvey where to shove it. But…"I am in," Harvey promises, "And-""You're not," Mike hisses. "You're literally never in, let alone in with me. You farm me out." And he wants to swallow his tongue, but he's also kinda curious as to how that will go down."You're not in either," Harvey snaps back.It's…sort of a paradigm shift. Ish. A moment where Mike looks at Harvey, an adult and sort of realises that he doesn't just exist to react to Mike, but might actually have his own issues. Like…if Harvey had gone around telling everyone that he had a better son and Mike wasn't his son then maybe Mike would have been hurt and upset and he flashes through maybe a thousand and one ways that he's been deliberately difficult and thinks that maybe, maybe Harvey is just as nervous as Mike in this.He wants…he doesn't know. To bridge the gap without taking a risk and maybe Harvey's the same?"Where's the school?" he asks and Harvey seems to accept the conversation change, if not the gesture behind it.XxxThe new school is…It has a uniform.There are meetings about social circumstances and an agreement about a councillor which Mike finds horrifying for so many reasons. And then he's in class and the councillor is this annoyingly calm man who must have taken a leaf out of Harvey's handbook about not reacting to a single thing that Mike says and it's so annoying Mike basically screams during one session.And they figure him out so quickly it hurts. The other school he thinks might have got there if he hadn't been such a little shit, but this school are like jedis or something. And maybe…Mike's still bored so he does the tests properly once he knows they're onto him. And they give him another. And another. And another. The last one he actually kind of enjoys.They call Harvey and Gordon in and the two look baffled (well, Gordon does, Harvey kind of looks around and then looks at his phone until someone puts the test scores in front of them)."Mike?" Gordon asks doubtfully."The ninety-nith percentile," Mrs Harris replies. "Every single one of them is in the ninety-ninth percentile." She looks at Mike for a moment as she slides the last one forward. "And this one is a test from the twelfth grade."Harvey blinks. And stares at the test. For a long time.XxxThey're in a cab on their way home and Mike is kind of preoccupied by how itchy the plaster on his wrist is and also seeing if he can fish out the pencil that got lost in there earlier in the day when they get out and Gordon goes into the building, but Harvey stops Mike in the lobby.It's a weird moment. Harvey stares at him like he has the secrets of the universe in his head and then reaches out to cup Mike's face with both hands. It's warm and comfortable, but it does force Mike to look up at him properly."Who you are," Harvey says after a moment of studying him, "isn't something you should hide. Or be afraid of."Mike stares at him. "You don't get it," he mumbled after a moment, but the hands mean he can't pull away as he usually would. "You like standing out," he whispers. "I hate it."Harvey smiles strangely. "No you don't," he says after a moment. "I saw you today, in that office. You knew what was coming and you were smiling."What?"What you like," Harvey said, his thumb sweeping Mike's cheek, "is proving people wrong. Surprising them. You just don't know how to deal with the backlash."Not sure if that's a good thing, Mike waits. But Harvey grins and ruffles his hair. "What did you get stuck down there?" he asks and it's more good-natured than Mike's heard Harvey be in weeks."A pencil," Mike admits and peers into the dark crevice between skin and plaster. "Think it's gone."That night Gordon pulls one of Harvey's hangers apart and they search for the tiny pencil while Harvey complains loudly about losing his hanger to the cause. They get pizza and Harvey starts to read books and Mike has to finish the sentence and then he gets quizzed and that night Mike finds he can go to sleep like a light switch being flicked because his brain is finally silent.XxxIt gets better. The teachers set projects for him after Mike begs not to be moved up a grade. There's a long conversation about him, he knows that and Harvey and Gordon spend ages in with the principal having some sort of discussion.His birthday comes up and Marcus and Katie come over and it's a different kind of birthday. They have pizza and he gets presents but there's nothing from Harvey on the table.The man grins as he sips at a drink and lazes back in his chair, eyes watching Mike.He's terrified that the answer might be that he's not getting a present, that Harvey was too busy, but he is pretty sure that this is a game and he wants to win it.So he watches Harvey with a smirk and pointedly looks at the table of presents."You find it, you keep it," Harvey tells him and Mike goes tearing around the apartment while the adults catch up and he can't find anything that looks like a present.So maybe…maybe it's not an object. Maybe it's…an envelope?He goes back into the main room and scours the walls, looking for something that seems unusual and then grins when he spots it on the back of the door.He tears into the envelope.Tickets. To a Nets game.It's awesome and brilliant and he doesn't even care where they're sitting and…"With you?" Mike checks, turning around because what if-Harvey hauls him up and over his shoulder and Mike shrieks as Harvey takes the tickets and studies them as if he's never seen them before. "Sweet deal, kid. I mean I'm going. If you don't want to go-""I'll go," Marcus chimes in as Mike wriggles to get free, protesting because no way are those two dicks taking his birthday present. Harvey tosses the tickets on the table and Mike flails around, and he thinks he narrowly misses kicking Kate in the face as Harvey shifts and pretends to drop him which makes Mike scream and laugh."He'll be sick," Gordon warns."I'm pretty sure he hasn't even had cake yet," Kate says and cake? Mike turns his attention to Kate who smiles at him and he looks between them all."There isn't cake," Mike says, not entirely sure."That sound right to you?" Gordon asks, turning to Marcus."Nah," Marcus replies and leans back to open the oven and there, in the cold top section, is a cake. "I'm sure I baked this for someone."Yes!Xxx"You promise though," Mike checks before he goes to sleep."I promise," Harvey says as he sits on the edge of the bed and his lips are tilted upwards. He hesitates for a moment which is unusual. "You seem happier," he says eventually."I'm going to watch a Nets game," Mike says grinning. "Like," he tries to gesture how far away from the court he'll be.Harvey laughs and rolls his eyes. He reaches out and smooths Mike's hair. Mike wriggles down into the pillow and watches as Harvey pins the tickets to the board above his desk. And he's…solid. Unmoving. Like this great brick wall that Mike can't move or fight against but that gives him shelter and it's not what he had with his Dad but…it's something that he thinks he might rely on more than anything else.And he knows that Harvey promising that he'll be free on that date is big. Important. Because Harvey, he's starting to realise, doesn't make promises that he can't keep. And that, Mike thinks as he snuggles down and closes his eyes, is kinda brilliant.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
At the age of almost thirteen, Mike is horrified to realise that Harvey is having sex.Like, he's not stupid (he really isn't stupid, Jenna at NYU reckons Mike could start taking credited courses, but Harvey argued Mike either jumps a grade or doesn't, there's no in between bullshit that means Mike pretty much jumps college). But when he was eleven, he came out at four am to get some water and there was Harvey still working so when the man doesn't come home sometimes, Mike just figures that he's working.That is until the sex talk happens at school.When he gets back home he feels emotionally exhausted. This woman came in and talked about teenage pregnancy and consent and how guys and girls develop and in-between, at recess, it was like navigating a battlefield with all the conversations and birth is gross. Somehow, all of the conversation makes him very aware that he's the result of a teenage pregnancy and Harvey was like…what…six or seven years older than him when Mike was born.He dumps his bag and collapses on the couch with a groan as Gordon is sat in the armchair, headphones in and scribbling notes."Long day?" Gordon asks, sounding amused as he lets the headphones rest around his neck.Mike rolls his head over. Then shifts so that he's lying flat on his belly, head propped on the arm of the couch. "Sex is confusing," he complains.Gordon blanches and blinks in horror at him. "What?""I haven't, ew, no," Mike whines, shifting and turning onto his back so that he can stare up at the ceiling. "We had a talk at school."There's an audible sigh of relief. "Thank god," Gordon mutters, "Harvey does not need that kind of karma."The comment rests for a moment or two and then Mike blinks. "What?" he asks, turning back. "What does that…" he shifts and then "Oh, that's gross," he complains. "He…that's…he can't…"Gordon looks tickled. "You know how people make babies, right?" he asks and Mike turns into the cushion because oh, he is not having that conversation with Gordon.XxxHarvey gets home relatively early for him and is heading straight for the shower when Mike gets in his way."Kid, I have a meeting-""Is it a sex meeting?"It's probably bad luck. But Harvey actually stops and stares down at Mike while Gordon snorts and almost seems to toast Harvey with a beer which Mike figures is his way of telling Harvey that this problem is all Harvey's.Harvey points at him and then seems to decide he should change tact. "That," he says eventually, "is none of your business.""It's my business if I end up with a brother or sister."Gordon actually snorts. Harvey raises an eyebrow and then grins. "Trust me, kid. You won't," he says as he walks around Mike."Well…what protection are you using?" Mike demands, following after him and Harvey stops at the bathroom door and stares down at Mike."You really want to talk about my dick and sex?" Harvey challenges."That's gross," Mike complains and Harvey nods as if he's won something then slams the door shut as Mike turns to Gordon like he's the goddamned ref.Gordon though, is apparently staying way out of this one.XxxThe thing is, once that doors open, Mike kinda…well…he's curious. There's so much of Harvey's life that he has no idea about. Mike isn't allowed to know the number for the office, he's not allowed to go near it and never hears about any of the cases that Harvey is working on. He doesn't know who Harvey hangs out with, who his friends are or who his girlfriend is or if there is one or how close they are to Mike having a step-mother.Oh and…well…the woman that Harvey once slept with and got pregnant. Mike is a little bit curious about how that went down. Laura, Harvey had said.The thing is, he isn't sure how to ask because to do so implies he's interested and he's not, but he is curious and there is a difference, he swears.But he doesn't want a brother or sister either. It's hard enough getting Harvey's attention as it is.So he slips some condoms into Harvey's coat pocket.The man's gone for three minutes before he comes slamming back in and Gordon's washing up and trying to get Mike to go and get dressed and the pair of them stare at him in surprise.Harvey holds up the condoms. "Why are these in my pocket?"Mike shrugs and Gordon sniggers and then turns to watch them."You gonna help?" Harvey demands."No," Gordon replies honestly, folding his arms. "You got this."Harvey mutters something under his breath. "I do not need these," he says, tossing them on the table. "And while we're at it, where the hell did you get them from?""Made a deal," Mike says, "I did this kid's homework and he gave me these.""Don't," Harvey snaps, apparently out of patience. "Don't do people's homework, don't make deals for condoms and don't put them in my pocket so that they fall out when I hail a cab."The image is brilliant and Mike presses his lips together wishing to god he'd followed him out and kinda wanting to do it again, just to see it."Don't even think about it," Harvey finishes, pointing at him and then throws a glare at Gordon, "and don't you dare phone Marcus about this."XxxIt's like a game. Mike sneaks a note into Harvey's wallet about how much kids cost to raise and Harvey pins a note to the board in his room with a You owe me for the same amount. Mike deducts nine years and Harvey tacks on hazard pay.The next time Mike slips something into Harvey's suit and it's a Wikipedia page about gonorrhoea. Harvey hides it in his homework and Mike stares at it in Mr Calder's hands and swears revenge.He ropes in some friends and between them they find a way to buy crab medication. And puts it in Harvey's briefcase."You little shit," Harvey says as he gets home that night. "Where did you even get this?""Well, Aaron's sister works at-""I don't," Harvey holds up a hand and then there's a noise and the man is laughing. He's trying hard not to, but he's laughing and then he launches forward and Mike tries to duck out of the way but Harvey has him and is holding him around the waist, hauling him up and then tossing him onto the couch."You understand," Harvey says, "that I can do far worse to you."Mike grins. "You're old and too busy having sex."Harvey sniggers. "Not anymore," he says. "You cost me an evening today."Mike hesitates and kneels up on the couch to peer at him. "I-""Don't be. Scottie was looking for a reason. You should have heard…" Harvey trails off and then shakes his head. "You two are never meeting."Scottie?Oh.XxxExcept Mike might have drawn the wrong conclusion because when he slips in a leaflet about gay sex into Harvey's room the man is killing himself laughing for about ten minutes before he comes out. Well, not comes out, comes out. Just, you know. Leaves his room."Dana Scott," Harvey explains, still looking tickled. "Who is a she. But good to know," he adds.XxxThe first time that Mike catches Harvey sneaking back in is still awkward. It's been two months since they started their pranks on each other and Mike loves it. But he's reading because he's woken early for some reason and Harvey comes in at five in the morning and he definitely hasn't been working all this time. And there's lipstick over his neck like he found some overly enthusiastic vampire.They stare at each other and Harvey sighs."Scottie?" Mike asks."No," Harvey replies slowly. "It was…" he shifts and then looks deeply uncomfortable. "Fun and consensual casual sex."Casual sex?"You can only have sex with someone that you love," Mike says and he tempers his voice to try and sound curious because he needs to sell this and, it works for like a second because Harvey looks like he wants someone to come and save him before he catches Mike trying not to laugh.He just throws his coat at Mike who cackles beneath it.Xxx"So…think I'll ever have a step-mom?"Harvey shakes his head. "Doubt it, kid." He shifts on the couch. "You want one?""No." Mike is sure about that, Sharing Harvey with another kid would be shit. Sharing him with another adult would be…less than ideal. "I don't know much about you," he says, and shifts to watch Harvey rather than the news.Harvey ignores the stare. "Such as?""Did you really date Laura or was it…casual sex?"Harvey's eyebrows raise and he takes a breath in. "It was…somewhere in between," he admits after a moment."So…but you know that I'm…like no-one else is gonna knock on the door claiming to be…you know."Harvey taps his fingers on the arm of the chair. "You're mine," he says and it's firm enough. "There was a test."Oh. "So…she wasn't sure?"Harvey turns a little and studies him. "We were having sex," he says slowly. "We had friends in common and it was fun. She…" he hesitates a little, "she and I had different interests though. She fell for another guy,but he'd dumped her before and then we…" he seems to hesitate to put a name to it. "She found out she was pregnant and the timings were off for him. But then you were born early so we checked.""Did she want me to be his?"Harvey's jaw ticks a little. "That's not why she left," he says firmly."Did she ever come back?"Harvey watches him."I'm not…" Mike shrugs, "I don't care. I'm just…curious.""Yes," Harvey admits after a moment. "She turned up at Dad's on your fifth birthday. With some stuffed toy thing like you…" he trails off and shakes his head. "They had it out and she turned up at Harvard to shout at me for having you adopted."It's nice to hear. But then she also ditched him when he was two months old and Harvey didn't."Do you think she'll come back?"Harvey clenches his jaw. "No," he says and there's something about the way that he phrases it that sounds like it's both a truth and a lie.XxxWhen he's only got two thirds of the year left until he's thirteen, Mike gets a cousin.She's kind of small. Wrinkly. And she sleeps a lot and he's oddly fascinated when they visit. Her name is Sophie and Marcus and Katie hover when they let him hold her.Harvey comes but doesn't stay. He heads back to the city and Gordon stays in Boston with Mike as it's the summer break and it's cramped and weird because Harvey isn't around at odd times, but he does phone pretty much every day just to check in.Once, Mike was as small as Sophie and Harvey held him the way that Marcus holds her. It's weird to think of.And then the shit hits the fan because the woman that Mike does end up meeting when he's almost thirteen isn't his birth mother or Harvey's future wife or friend or sex partner.Marcus has him when Gordon goes to meet some friends before Harvey arrives. He's gonna stay for the night and head back with them all in the morning and he's getting them a hotel room which is so much better than listening to a new-born cry all night long. It's kinda cool to see how a restaurant works except a woman comes in while Mike's doing some work in a booth.Marcus looks panicked. He keeps trying to re-organise something and is trying to hiss at her in quiet tones and Mike watches them curious as she gets more and more annoyed and then Marcus hisses something and the woman turns like there's a million dollars sitting in the booth.They stare at each other.And Mike doesn't know how he knows, only that it clicks together that this is Harvey's mother, the woman who had an affair and broke her promise to Harvey and started the problems that meant Harvey gave Mike up. Which is good because it meant Mike got his mom and dad, but not because…well…he'd have a totally different life that might not involve knowing what funerals and the foster system is like."Charlie?" she asks, stepping towards him and-Charlie? Who the hell is-"Mike," Marcus calls. "Go sit in the office."He goes and his mind is racing because…because…because he's been so stupid.Harvey calls him 'kid' more often than not and so does Gordon. And they're not doing it because they don't know his name, but he thought it was just how they acted but maybe it's because, to them, Mike isn't the name they gave him and-His mind is spinning and he sits there in the office feeling a little like he's in a dream.Charlie. Charlie Specter. In that other life, Mike Ross would literally not exist.He can hear Harvey shouting within the hour and he can't decide if he's relieved that Harvey's there or not. But there is a full-on row going on outside and, curious, Mike creeps out of the office to peer around the door.The women, Harvey's mother, is in tears and is reaching for him while a man that looks around her age is shouting at Harvey who is stepping forward to the man as if to start a fight and Marcus is trying to get in between them all.It's a mess and Mike doesn't want to be there. At all. And he doesn't want Harvey to be there either."Dad."Of everything that's happening, that's the thing that makes Harvey stumble as if he's been shot."I want to go home."Marcus gapes at him and the woman lifts her hands to her mouth and the man looks torn but Harvey stands still and then nods sharply and heads to the door without looking back at Mike.They don't speak. They ride in a cab to the airport in silence. Harvey stares out the window and he's radiating fury and Mike can't tell if it's because of his mom, the argument or that Mike used the D word as a pass to get out of the restaurant."I'm sorry," Mike whispers.Harvey just nods.XxxHarvey and he get home a whole day before Gordon. And Harvey clearly doesn't want to talk, snaps when Mike asks and even takes himself outside when Mike dares to push a little harder.Then Gordon gets home.It's the first time that Mike's even been looked after by a sitter since living with Gordon and Harvey. They stay out until two in the morning and Mike knows that because he's watching the clock tick forward when they come in.Harvey's drunk. Gordon's drunk, but not as much and he seems to dump Harvey in his room and then comes back out where Mike waits in the doorway."I…" Mike bites his lip and looks at Harvey's door. But Gordon is there and hugs him and Mike kind of hopes that he'll never let go. Except he guides Mike to the couch and they sit there in silence."It wasn't your fault," Gordon promises, rocking him gently. "She should have backed off.It surprises Mike that he's crying. Annoyed, he scrubs at his face, but Gordon catches his hand."She called me Charlie," Mike whispers and there's a question there, he knows.Gordon nods. "He liked Charles Bradley & Menahan Street Band. When your mom was pregnant, he used to play it to relax you all and you'd stop kicking after a few beats." Gordon rests his chin on Mike's head. "Your second name was Gordon."Oh. Tucking his head into Gordon's chest, Mike listens to the heartbeat there and if life were less complicated, he'd have forgotten about his parents and slip back into the family and there would be no issue.But it's not simple. "Is he angry with me?"Gordon shakes his head. "It's hard for him," he says after a moment. "He knows you loved James, Mike. But it will always eat away at him that when someone says 'Dad', you'll think of him and not Harvey."Yeah. A little unsure, Mike looks up at Gordon. "I'm sorry," he says again."It's fine," Gordon insists. "We made the choice, Mike," he says and Mike is pretty sure he says the name deliberately, "We gave you to them. If that car accident hadn't happened, you'd still be with them and we wanted you to be happy with them, which you were. I'm relieved that you loved them and they loved you.""What if…" it's a selfish worry and Mike wants to bite his tongue off, but he also wants to ask, "what if he has a family and-"Gordon lets out the longest sigh. "He won't," he assures Mike. "Believe me, kid. When Harvey made that decision to have you adopted, he picked his life. If he couldn't be your father, he wasn't going to be anyone's father. And Harvey and relationships…no-one in his day-to-day life knows about you."Oh."He doesn't trust any of them with you," Gordon whispers to him. "He trusted people with you before and it's gone very wrong. So now, he doesn't." He smiles. "I told you. He's a complicated man. But he does love you, Mike."They fall asleep on the couch, and Mike's probably too old to be curled up with his grandfather, and Gordon is probably too old to be sleeping on the couch. But Harvey wakes them up in the morning with a coffee for Gordon and bacon is cooking and Mike feels oddly tender, as if he's been bruised and just wants a bit of careful handling. He sits closer than he usually does to both men and Harvey isn't at work though he does do something with his emails and makes some calls."You really don't like her," Mike ventures."No," Harvey agrees as he works on the laptop. He glances over. "Dad said…I didn't want you to know that you'd had a different name."Yeah, Mike thinks he could have gone his whole life without knowing that. "I was two though," he said. "Is that normal?"Harvey types for a minute. "It pissed me off," he admits, not looking at Mike. "They wanted a fresh start and I don't know. I think your mom had a bad experience with someone called Charlie. You knew your name so there must have been a transitional period…" he shakes his head and Mike imagines that he's holding back from saying something. "They changed it legally though."Right. Except it still feels awkward because that's not the thing that's really hanging over their heads. And nothing feels right because some sentimental speech will be brushed aside and an apology could be taken in so many ways.Mike creeps close and tucks into Harvey's side. And slowly, Harvey's hand comes up to cup Mike's head.Harvey is still that impenetrable wall. A guard and protection and anyone that comes for Mike will be shattered against Harvey. But there's a massive crack, Mike thinks and it's one that Mike doesn't really know how to fix.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Mike is so close to thirteen he practically is (even if every time he says it, Harvey gives him a side-eye and mutters under his breath about Mike being dumb because he clearly can't count), he meets what is definitely the scariest, most brilliant woman he's ever met who has the most confusing and frustrating relationship with Harvey.And it starts with Mike hating her when Gordon breaks his legOf all the dumb things to do. It's not even like Gordon does it in a cool way like diving in front of a car to save someone (which Mike thinks Gordon would pretty definitely do). No, it's because he drinks too much whiskey while out with some friends and they go and shoot the shit and jam in some basement club that Gordon's friend's wife's sister owns (and Mike knows this because he's heard the story like fifteen times within a week of Gordon having his leg broken) and then fall back down the stairs when heading up and home.Seriously. Back down the stairs. What is that?So Mike's there at school and there's a message for him about being picked up by a car and Mike genuinely thinks someone is playing a prank because Harvey does not send a car for him. Ever. Once Mike overslept by way too much time and when he phoned Harvey to beg for help, Harvey snorted and told him to suck it up and run.Knowing Harvey it was probably because he's just found out about Saturday detention for late students and Mike's punctuality issues meant that Mr Howard was pretty much charging the halls for Mike that day and that he lost Saturday morning freedom.Anyway. So Mike walked home thinking it was a prank. Probably Ollie because Mike could just about tap Ollie's chair with his own feet and annoy him by tapping out rhythms.When he got home, there was no-one there and it was kinda unusual, but Mike had been finally trusted with a key if not a phone. Harvey refuses to get him one until Mike stops breaking shit. Which is beyond unfair because Mike was literally doing the washing up when he broke that glass and it was Harvey's fault for leaving his laptop under the sofa while Mike was drinking coca-cola.And then the door opens and a red-head walks in.They sort of freeze for a moment and stare at each other; her with the key still in the door, half way in and wrapped up against the weather while he's half way through some pringles that for once haven't been hidden from him."Oh my god," she says and it's not like valley girl but more genuine shock. "Harvey has a kid."Oh. Huh. Mike blinks at her because he literally doesn't have a clue how to play this and, knowing Harvey, the man will find some way to make it Mike's fault that he was walking around the apartment that he lives in.Slowly, the woman pulls the key out of the door and steps inside. "Well, that explains some things," he says, sounding as if she's already thinking miles ahead of most, "How did I miss this?"Mike sits on the back edge of the couch and studies her before holding out the tube he's almost just been trying to pour into his mouth.She shakes her head and he shrugs."You haven't always lived with him," she says slowly.Mike shakes his head. "Just over a year," he says and the threatening memories of those months before don't rise up like the used to…or at least not quite as bad as they used to. "You work with him, right?"The woman nods and then it's like watching an elastic band snap back in place. "You're meant to be at the hospital," she says and she's coming close like some sort of sheepdog, trying to herd him to the door.Mike shakes his head."Oh, you are," she says with an easy confident. "Your grandfather broke his leg. Harvey sent a driver.""That was real?" Mike asks and how the hell has she got his coat already and- he blinks when he realises that the pringles are on the table rather than being in his hands. "Wait," he complains but she's found gloves…where the hell have they been? He thinks he saw them once when Katie gave them to him and then they vanished for a year. And then they are out of the door and she's already calling-"So, guess what I found at your apartment," the woman says to the phone and steer Mike to the stairs rather than the elevator which is…what the hell is happening?"He wants to speak to you," the woman says and Mike takes the phone while trying to glare at her because none of this is what he wanted to happen."Hi?""Why didn't you get in the car?" Harvey asks bluntly."I…You have never sent a car," Mike complains. "You once told me that I'd have to match your pay-check and send you a car for you to send me one."There's a long pause. And maybe Mike's actually won this one?"And checking with the school secretary was too hard?" Harvey asks.Shut up. "Who is she?" Mike hisses into the phone as they get outside and the woman hails a cab like she has magic powers or something.This time Mike knows Harvey is trying not to laugh. "Donna," he says and there is far too much amusement in his tone. "She'll take care of everything."And something in Mike freezes and hisses because...well...Harvey sounds almost proud and loving and way too happy to be talking about someone that isn't...well..Mike."It's what she does," Harvey continues, apparently unaware that he's blown Mike's life view upside down. "I'm…I'll meet you there. Court is late to start.""You can't go into court," Mike complains. "You'll be hours.""What did you just say?" Harvey asks and in comparison to how he talks about Donna, he sounds like he's annoyed with Mike. "If I'm later than you by five minutes, I'll pay for you to be driven to school all week. It's hardly a difficult case.""We're already in a cab," Mike mutters and he glances at this Donna in a slight bit of fear. He kind of wants to say something, but doesn't dare because he has no idea how to categorise this person and it's throwing him for a loop because the only category he keeps circling back to is 'important to Harvey' and he really doesn't want to slot her in there.Whatever Harvey was about to say is lost as Donna plucks the phone from his hands and settles elegantly into the seat as the cab pulls away. "That's not fair," she scolds but she doesn't seem bothered. "Your son is glaring now. He has your jaw clench."She might be the first person to ever compare them. Then she laughs at something and Mike kind of wants to shove her head out of the window.You know, in that normal way that people do sometimes.XxxWhen they get to the hospital, Gordon is tired yet seems to know Donna pretty well if the way they greet each other is anything to go on. And he likes her too and gives her a kiss and they chat like old friends and Gordon has never treated anyone like this either. Confused, Mike stays at the edge of the room and glares at anyone that gets too near him."You need me to sue anyone?" Harvey asks, stepping into the room with thirty seconds to spare. Mike rolls his eyes because god, now Harvey will use that for at least a week."No," Gordon says, looking a little bit sheepish. He keeps glancing over at Mike but Harvey murmured a word at him and Gordon snorts."Come on," Donna instructs, looking at Mike. "We'll get coffee."Huh."He is not getting any coffee," Harvey says, pointing but not looking over. "Or caffeine.""I'll just die of thirst then," Mike mutters and then glares at the ceiling when Harvey properly turns around to glare at him."You go do that," Harvey allows. "But bring us back coffee while you do."XxxMike trails to a halt about thirty seconds after they leave Gordon's room."We're getting coffee," Donna prompts."No. You're getting me out of the room so that they can talk because they have secret things to whisper about," Mike says, exaggerating the last few words. "Who gives a shit where we go?She raises an eyebrow at him. "You might be used to throwing some pre-teen strop and getting your way, but it's not going to work with me. So get down the hall, find some decent coffee and don't waste my time."He gapes at her. And then nods.Okay then.XxxWhen he gets back with three coffees and a hot chocolate for himself because Harvey didn't say he couldn't, the three adults are sat around talking about something and Mike feels a kick of annoyance over the whole situation.And Harvey is watching Donna and is impressed by her and Mike thinks back to the promise about no step-mothers or siblings and feels a stab of absolute dread.XxxWhen they get home, Gordon goes to bed and Harvey is doing work from home and Donna, thankfully goes home to her place and Mike debates it as he listens to music and reads/watches Harvey over the edge of the book. The man smiled a lot when Donna was around and now he's frowning a little as he reads, pen hovering above the briefs that he has and Mike wants to talk to him but saying 'i don't like that you like someone better than me' sounds dumb.Being an asshole doesn't work with Harvey. Harvey explicitly said that and Mike was a wealth of examples that show Harvey literally can ignore him whenever he is a dick so...Oh crap.He's gonna have to be good.XxxHis teachers look baffled. Mike asks for extra assignments and then hands them in the next day. But it's only gonna be worthwhile if they tell Harvey or Gordon so Mike…bends the truth.It's a thing, he's heard Harvey say it.He mumbles something about wanting Harvey to be proud and that he's not seen his father much recently. And then he joins the Boxing club which he still hates (like he sees the benefit in it and punching the pads every Saturday does help with some of his frustration at everything, but he's never gonna be like Gordon or Harvey). He's not their first choice for anything competitive or even their tenth choice but he thinks Harvey will like it.And then he starts cooking. Nothing huge, but he can figure out pasta. One day he gets dinner on when he comes home and Gordon comes out of his room and stares at Mike like he's a stranger. And Mike picks up the shopping the next day from school and doesn't argue when Harvey mistakenly accuses him of throwing away the paper.Harvey's too busy to quiz Mike as he used to and Gordon says that Harvey's work has becoming more competitive and he's on the cusp of a promotion. Mike doesn't complain when Gordon does it and the man's eye's narrow just a little bit more.Harvey still doesn't seem to notice anything different.So Mike gets up early one day and gets him a coffee while he's in the shower.Harvey stares at it twenty minutes later and Mike squirms."What did you do?"Old Mike would huff in annoyance. Mike that's better than Donna just shakes his head. "Just got coffee," he explains. "Gordon needed some bread anyway.""Right," Harvey says and he looks more confused than anything. "You need money?" he asks suddenly."I use the money in the pot to do shopping," Mike replies brightly.If anything, Harvey looks more freaked out.XxxHe gets food poisoning about twelve days into his new routine.It's annoying and pathetic. And so not what will impress Harvey. And Gordon is in so Mike finds himself puking into his bin in his room which is gross and he learns how to use washing machines pretty quick. He can't tell people that he's ill so he heads to school and ends up in the toilets too many times and it's literally like hell on earth, but something up there loves him because he manages to never puke in font of people. One of the teachers seems to think he just has a bladder issue which is hideous when they talk after class but better than the alternative.Two nights later, Harvey's on the phone to Donna and he's smiling and joking and they have this ease to their interactions that Mike's so envious of because that's what he wants. Desperately."You okay?" Harvey asks once he's off the phone and he's looking at Mike with a frown."Yeah," Mike says. Donna was all calm and confident and sass but he doesn't know how to do that because he feels like he can trip up over his own feet sometimes and now that he's trying, he's realised exactly how little he tries with other people and that sucks. "You're home early."Harvey nods. "Yeah, well," he says and there's something bubbling away on the stove. But he still looks suspicious. "I've been busy lately," he admits.Yeah. "Need a hand?" Mike asks and Harvey gives him some peppers to chop."School okay?" Harvey asks."Yeah," Mike says with a bright smile. "I did some more projects. Hale set me some work on the Chinese economy and Jones told me to look at the effects of logging in the Amazon and-""And friends?" Harvey asks casually.Oh. That. "I…yeah." He feels a slight stirring in his stomach and he wants to be sick again. "You got any new music?"Now Harvey looks pleased but also he won't stop looking at Mike which would be nice except it's unnerving and Mike is pretty sure he'll be puking in about two minutes. "I'll put something on," Harvey says."Cool," Mike says and heads to the bathroom, hoping the music's loud enough to hide the fact that he's still puking.XxxFriends.Wow is it hard to make friends with people sometimes when they're being dumb. He usually has a small circle which he's happy with and a few of his friends from his last school are around too which is nice, but Harvey, when he thinks about it, is the kind of person who knows everyone and Donna is the kind of person who knows everything about everyone so maybe that's what he needs to be like.But it's hard and awful because as he tries, some bat him away and he can't even snap back because that would be breaking the asshole rule.Alex Mayers humiliates him by telling Mike he's being needy (and there's nothing worse in Harvey's book, Mike thinks) and Mike has to just take it.Being good is exhausting.xxxWhen Mike gets home, Harvey is there. And so is Gordon.And so is Mel.He freezes mid-step and stares at her because he was pretty sure that they were signed off and that she contacts Harvey only or monitors from a distance and why the fuck is she here?"Hello Mike," Mel greets. "Are you going to come all the way in?"Harvey, Mike notices, looks tense and is stood up, leaning against the wall and hands tucked into his jeans so he hasn't been at the office, or at least hasn't been in for a few hours.Sensing something is wrong, Mike perches as far away from her as he can and then he's stuck because he wants to demand to know why she's showing up now but…So he settles for keeping his gaze on her like a bomb's about to go off."How are you?" Mel asks.Mike shrugs. "Fine," he says. Then because it's probably polite. "You?"It shocks her, he knows. She blinks at him and then looks over to Gordon of all people and something passes between them. "And is there anything that you want to tell us?""No," Mike says, scowling and looking between them all.Mel nods a little and then sighs. "I do need to speak to Mike alone," she says, looking up at Harvey who clenches his jaw in irritation."There's a coffee shop around the corner," Gordon says into the awkward silence as he heaves himself up and reaches for the crutch he's using. "We can meet you there?"Mel nods, seemingly taking everything in and Gordon gets to the door and, even as slow as he is at the moment, by the time he gets there, Harvey still hasn't moved."Harvey," Mel prods. "I need to speak to Mike alone about this. You know why."Harvey draws in a long breath. "Talk," he says eventually. "You do anything else and I'm coming for you," he promises and then strides to the door and slams it behind him."Mike," Mel says, pulling his attention back. "There are some concerns about how you're doing at the moment."What?"Do you have any idea what I'm referring to?""No," Mike admits. "I've been good," he adds earnestly, annoyed now."Mike," Mel says, leaning forward. "Your teachers have noticed a sudden change in your behaviour. You're suddenly desperate for positive attention and you've joined boxing even though you clearly hate it and are trying to reach out to other students. You've lost weight and you're tired. Gordon says that you've been cooking and helping out around the house…" she shifts and looks at him firmly. "Is there someone that you're afraid of?"It takes him about six seconds to get it. "Are you shitting me?" Mike breathes, staring at her.Whatever she was expecting, apparently that reaction isn't it. "I'm sorry?""Are you…" Mike looks around. "Oh God," he mutters and sinks back into the chair as if he could hide into it."Michael," she says and he looks up because the last person who called him that was Grammy before the accident when she was scolding him for being a brat about them all going for a meal without him, "you are giving me a lot of mixed messages here. Do you feel afraid of anyone?""No," he barks out before she even finishes. "And definitely not Harvey.""Mike-""That's where you're going with it though, right?" Mike demands. "You think that…what? He's pushing me into things or…I dunno," he says because what do they think is happening. "Is me being good seriously that concerning?"Something like amusement crosses her face but the professional masks drowns the human expression quickly. "Then I do need to know what's happening.""God," Mike groans and grabs a cushion to put on his lap and he's tempted to scream into it. "I…" this sounds so pathetic now, "I just…Harvey has this woman called Donna-""Ah," Mel says."Ah?" Mike asks, leaning forward, "What's…you know her," he announces, pointing at her. "He's like…he likes her. He always smiles when she calls and she's like amazing and he told me that being an asshole wouldn't get attention and now Donna is here and she's stealing him!" he stops when he realises that he's started to shout and slumps back. "They're gonne start having sex and have happy babies and I'll be left somewhere because I'm a moody shit."Again, there's a lip quirk and he wants to throw something at her because he know how it sounds, right, but he still thinks it so fuck her if she wants to laugh at him."I know Donna," Mel decides to dial back to the start of his rant apparently. "And she is…highly impressive. But I think that you might be missing a key piece of information."Mike glares at her."Donna and Harvey have worked together for five years."Mike blinks at her. And again. And again."Oh," he says, feeling small. And stupid. "So…they've known each other since I came back?""Yes," Mel says gently. "I think he's just relaxing about letting work and home mix. Or at least he was." She looks at the door and seems to let out a sigh that might well be relief."You were worried about going head to head with him," Mike says, a little surprised."I'm not stupid," Mel says and then looks back at him, "But you come first. And he knows that because I have no doubt that if he wanted to find a way to throw me out legally, he could. But if there ever is something wrong, I am here, Mike. You know that."Yeah. That's…nice and all, but more importantly, "you have to tell him, don't you?" Mike asks."We will have to have a conversation," Mel says. "But you and I still have to discuss this Mike. The…attempting to gain positive-""Sucking up," Mike mutters, "call it what it is," he adds with a shrug when she looks at him."Either way," Mel allows, "Explains a lot of this. But you are looking thin-""I…ate chicken from the shop down the block," Mike admits. "And it's," he hovers and tilts his hand. "There's like a bet to see if you get sick or not and I did and…Harvey loves his suits," he says earnestly, "he wasn't gonna let me near him when I could puke on them."This time, Mel sighs and shakes her head and Mike isn't exactly sure where he's gone wrong, but clearly something about this concerns her but she has not seen how attached Harvey is to his suits so as far as Mike's concerned, it's her being the idiot now, not him.She phones Harvey and asks them to come back and Mike imagines that the man's probably pissed because they'd have barely had time to sip a coffee with the speed Gordon walks at currently. The pair are back pretty quick for Gordon's speed and Harvey tosses his keys on the table like it's done something wrong to him."It appears a lot of this has been a misunderstanding," Mel said and Mike stares at his shoes feeling heat creep up his cheeks because he can imagine the reaction he's about to get. "Mike was…attempting to compete with Donna.""What?" Harvey asks sounding absolutely lost by the idea while Gordon snorts and then breaths out the longest sigh of relief. "What does that mean?" Harvey demands of Mel as if she's Mike's translator and asking Mike would be a waste of time."You said being an asshole wouldn't work," Mike tell his shoes.There's a noise and when he looks over, Harvey has sat down looking more lost than Mike has ever seen him. "You were being…" Harvey seems to hesitate on his phrasing and then just gives up, "To get my attention?"Mike stares at Mel half hoping that she'll help, but she just stares at him so Mike nods. "I was being good," he mutters, annoyed because does everything think he's that much of a dick then?"What?" Harvey asks, snapping his attention to Mike. "You're a good kid, don't be stupid," he says and then scowls, "Who put this idea in your head?""What?" Mike asks and Harvey has actually stood up and for a second it looks like he might go and punch someone. "No-one. You did," he adds quickly. "You said, don't be an asshole-""A year ago. More than that," Harvey snaps back. "And you were. You threw a brick at a window and stole from your teachers and got expelled. Those are asshole moves, kid.""You're gonna start doing naked meetings with Donna," Mike accuses.Harvey opens his mouth and then swallows back whatever he wants to say and looks over at Gordon. "Don't shit where you eat, kid," he settles for saying and looks at Mel pointedly and okay so maybe they can talk about that later."Which is something for you all to discuss," Mel adds. "However, we do need to cover a topic together before we go any further."As she says it, Harvey stiffens up and turns to stare at her, his body pretty much in-between Mike and Mel. "Then you and I can-""I believe it would be a more useful conversation with the whole family unit," Mel says firmly. And Harvey is glaring at her and Mike kinda feels impressed that Mel just stares back."Harvey," Gordon says gently, hobbling close and putting a hand on Harvey's shoulder.It's weird to watch. Sometimes, Mike believes that Harvey could fix the whole world and change it to his will. To see him falter and need some help is…both amazing and terrifying.In the end, Harvey nods and sits down, his gaze resting on Mike."My concern from this isn't based on Mike's…attention seeking," Mel said and Mike opens his mouth to protest that and then closes it when both she and Harvey glare. "But rather Mike's confusion about Harvey's priorities."Harvey hauls in a sharp breath and looks ready to argue it but Gordon almost digs a hand into Harvey's thigh and Mike can literally see Harvey clench his jaw this time."Mike," Mel says.What? "I don't have any confusion about Harvey's priorities," Mike mutters."His suits?"Oh. That? "Harvey wouldn't want me to puke on his suits," Mike says, still not really sure what they're getting at."Which is why he didn't tell either of you that he had food poisoning," Mel says.Mike stares at the floor and doesn't look because when she phrases it like that…but he's not a baby. He's pretty sure that she's just trying to make the visit worth her while. Maybe. Sort of.The silence is painful. And Mike continues to stare at his shoes."How…when?" Gordon asks eventually. "Recently," he says, sounding much more certain and Mike wonders exactly how skinny he looks at the moment."I…a week ago." Mike shifts and then look over at Mel, suddenly annoyed. "I was fine," he hisses at her. "I managed. No-one died. And they were busy. I'm not a kid."He means he's not a baby. But all that his annoyance does is mean that Mel looks over at Harvey and Gordon as if some sort of point has been proven. And Mike glances to see that Harvey is staring at him so hard, Mike's surprised that he doesn't have a hole in his head."Mel," Gordon says, and he actually looks at the ceiling for a moment before he stands up, apparently a little annoyed at the fact he has to keep getting up and sitting down. "Can you and I talk in private?"It's a lame attempt, but Mel nods and heads with Gordon to his room and it's a bit gross because Mike never ever needs to see Gordon lead any woman into his room."Are you fucking kidding me?" Harvey says, his voice low as the door shuts."Which part?" Mike asks tiredly.Harvey shifts up the couch so that they're closer. "The sick thing…" he rolls his eyes. "You wouldn't have done that if you weren't trying to be…" he shakes his head. "You," he says and he reaches out a hand to cup Mike's chin, "You are an argumentative, cheeky, happy, clever kid who found a way to sneak crab medication into my bag," he says and his warm brown eyes are locked with Mike's. "These past few weeks? It's been like living with a Stepford wife."Mike pushes into his hand a little. "You wouldn't have wanted me to puke on your suit," he says because he still wants to win something from this."No," Harvey agrees. "Or on me," he says and then shifts so that he's on the edge of the armchair Mike's sitting on and pulls him in for a one armed hug. "But…as long as it wasn't just before a meeting, I'd prefer that to knowing you were sick and not telling anyone."Mike grins up at him. "When would I be allowed to be sick before a meeting?""If you were dying," Harvey allows and then shakes his head. "I've been working a lot."Mike doesn't know what to say to that statement. "Gordon said that there's a promotion?"Harvey nods, seemingly thinking of something else. His hand strokes through Mike's hair and then he shifts in annoyance. "Kid…" he lifts Mike's chin so that they look at each other. "I know this isn't fair, but I need you to hang in a little longer. The case…it's a big one. Just a few weeks more.""I didn't call this meeting," Mike snaps. "It's fine."Harvey doesn't seem happy by that answer. "Listen," he says and Mike braces himself for a lecture, "This," Harvey says though and his tone is slow and steady and it makes Mike blink up at him. "This doesn't work if you don't tell me when you need something. So say it.""Why?" Mike asks."Because it's a factor," Harvey admits. "So if you're needing more attention, I can pass the next big one on or work something out. But once I'm in it…I can't. And I'm not gonna pass along many, Mike. I won't lie about that, but I need to know. And you need to trust that I will do something about it. But I need the whole picture to do that.""I don't need-""You're my kid," Harvey says and it's a whisper like the words are a secret, but it's done with such a harsh, fierce and possessive tone that something in Mike warms instantly.Screw it."I…" part of Mike wants to swallow his tongue but… "I want to be as important as Donna."Harvey's mouth ticks upwards and he stares upwards and then back down at Mike. "You're an idiot," he says fondly. "She works with me. I talk to her about everything, You included now. She's my friend," he says like Mike's four. "You're…""Yeah, you're kid," Mike huffs. "If I was a lawyer would we work together?"Harvey looks genuinely taken aback by the question. "I…we are…you have completely missed the point," he mutters. And then looks thoughtful.Mike kind of feels bad though. "I'll puke on you next time if it helps," he promises and leans in when Harvey lets his chin go.He can practically feel the eye roll.XxxThe next day, Donna is waiting for him outside of school.Oh Jesus, seriously?Hunching his shoulders, Mike meanders to her because it was bad enough to have all of the conversations last night and then Mel insisting that he never ever do the chicken bet again which he has been ribbed by at school because he shook his head when the others mentioned going there and everyone seems to be easier with him today which is good and so maybe he was acting like a pod person.But he doesn't need this.She has two coffee cups in her hands and gives him one. He takes it to look cool, but truthfully, he doesn't really like coffee. Except when he sips it's sweet and a little like vanilla with a kick of bitterness that works.Donna just smiles as they fall into step. "Harvey told me," she starts as they walk."Great," Mike mutters and just because she's bought him an amazing drink does not mean that he has to be nice to her."So," she says, stopping and turning to him, "You hate me because I work with Harvey, talk to him every day, he finds me useful and confides in me."Mike shifts, ready to fight her on this, but not entirely sure how to set up a defense.She smiles. And it's not a mean smile, but almost a proud smile. "I could tell something was different this year but recently…I thought he and Scottie might be…but it's you. And now I know, he mentions you. And that man never mentions anything from home without it being dragged from him.""I don't-""But here's the thing," she adds, "You might not know or understand it, but I promise you, you have a road right to his heart and he feels more than you think. And you have every right to be mad and angry that he's not around as much as other dads. He's the only parent you have left and that sucks. But if you keep things from him, he will be hurt.""If I tell him, he doesn't always do something," Mike counters."Then fight him on it," she tells him frankly. "Call him out when he's wrong. Tell him when you need more. You're a clever kid and you're a good kid. He knows that if you ask for something it's because you really need it. Believe me, he loves that you're not meek or mild. And keeping quiet?" she shook her head. "I promise you, that will only lead to pain for both of you because Harvey is amazing at what he does. But he is not grown up enough to check in on his own or start a conversation about feelings without having something ridiculously dramatic happen first."Mike presses his lips together and tries not to snort because he doesn't want her to know how…how relieving this is. But he nods."Now," she continues, heading down the path and Mike trots to keep up with her. "I completely understand you wanting to be as good as me, but you're only twelve-""Almost thirteen," Mike complains."And you have a lot of catching up before you're in my league.""How old are you?" Mike asks and Donna doesn't miss a beat, just reaches down and takes the coffee from him."None of your goddamn business." But there's a smile in her voice. "Now, what cell phone do you want? Because if you need me to bully him home a few more times, I can probably arrange his calendar if you call me."Somehow, Mike realises about twenty minutes later, he's gone from hating the woman to being absolutely in love with her.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Just so it's on record. Bobby Rosinger absolutely fucking sucks.Like, massively. And Mike was prepared to like him because he was the new guy and Mike knows how that feels but Bobby is the most overly privileged, snobbish asshole going and it's like he's gathered together all the other dicks and now they all hang out together and school sucks too now.And Mike usually hates the idea of even acknowledging cliques but that's so what Bobby has done. All the guys have that haircut and are on some sort of team sports thing and who think that they've been short-changed if they don't have the latest cell phone and the most expensive watch, all of them are suddenly a pack. And Mike thinks that maybe he could have ducked it all if not for the fact that well…Ducking isn't exactly his style anymore."You're in my way," Bobby tries."Then move," Mike suggests.There are four of them today. Sometimes the numbers get up to nine, more often it's five. This is obviously a bad day or someone has detention or a game."I heard you're some sort of uber geek," Bobby sneers. "Four of us, one of you.""Well done," Mike replies, slow clapping. But he refuses to move.Bobby steps up close and he almost wants to step back just to get some personal space back. "Move," Bobby sneers again."Fuck you."The first punch, he blocks, but the next one comes from the side and Mike manages to catch the next one and it becomes much less the controlled blows from boxing and more like the roughhousing he used to do back with Trevor and at the foster homes.Being a tenacious little shit usually helps to win these things.A teacher is separating them and Mike deliberately places himself back on the exact same spot that he'd been in, just to make a point. And he knows Bobby sees it because he sneers at Mike, blood dripping from his nose.XxxGordon comes in and thank god he'd gotten rid of that cast a few months ago because Mike could not take him limping down the hallways."I didn't start it," Mike tells him and Gordon pauses and looks at Mike for a moment like he's someone else. He glances at the office door and then sits down rather than head straight into the principal's office."What happened?" he asks."It's just some new kid," Mike replies. "Wants to be king of the school. Told me to move. I didn't."Gordon smiles. "Okay," he says. And Mike waits for the lecture, but there is nothing coming his way."Okay?" Mike questions doubtfully. "Okay? Interesting," he mutters.Gordon swats at him. "You didn't start it, you didn't back down. Not really sure what else there is to say.""Don't fight," Mike huffs, leaning his head back against the wall. "That's been the refrain for almost an hour.""Could you avoid it?" Gordon asks.Honestly? "I could have stepped aside," Mike says, turning his head to study Gordon. "But…you know. Figured that would mean he'd think he could do it again."Gordon just nods. "I agree," he says after a beat or two. "And I'm going to agree in there too." He stands up and, something about his jaw and expression is so like Harvey it's a little creepy."You know," Mike offers up, "for a grandfather, you're pretty cool."Gordon smiles at him like Mike has just made his year.XxxSomehow, Gordon ends up having an argument with the principal which, on balance is hilarious. Mike and the other boys are suspended for fighting, it's a blanket rule and Mike is happy with the day off, but Gordon is furious and boy is he rude when he's furious.It makes the whole thing even more hilarious.When Harvey gets in, Mike almost grins."They suspended him for not backing down?" Harvey demands and wow, there are two of them. Once upon a time, Mike's mom would have been telling him off for fighting and his dad would have been nodding his head because 'you never knew how fighting could escalate a situation' and Mike would roll his eyes and sulk.Not so apparently in the Specter family."Why aren't you more pissed about this?" Harvey demands."I got a day off school," Mike says, around the spoon as he eats pudding. "And the kids have remembered that I'm that weirdo that was in foster care and got expelled from three schools-""You weren't expelled from three schools. You were expelled from one school," Harvey corrects as he sits down opposite Mike at the table, coat still on and maybe this is a real flying visit, "the others were circumstantial.""Yeah," Mike says, pointing the spoon, "you wanna know which one of those statements is cooler and gets kids to step aside in the lunch queue every so often if you tell them about those scary rough schools?Harvey looks like he debates arguing but changes his mind. Instead, he stares at Mike in that assessing way that he sometimes does and then starts texting on his phone. Mike shrugs and continues eating the pudding because…you know. Why not!?"Come on," Harvey says after a moment."Aren't you going back to work. I thought you had a client?" Mike asks, curious."Not exactly," Harvey says and stands.It's been better recently since Harvey became a senior associate at work. He seems to have more autonomy now and there are fewer nights spent up going through files, but more evenings where he's out at some fancy restaurant or bar with clients."Come on," Harvey says and almost hauls Mike up. "Get a coat."Annoyed, Mike trudges off and does as he's told and when he comes out of his room, Gordon is settled on the couch and is already watching his boring shit TV show that Mike hates."Really?" Mike asks and Gordon just grins at him."Enjoy your evening," Gordon suggests.XxxOutside, it was still cold for the start of April and there was a fine sleet coming down, the lights of the buildings and cars turning the weather into what looked like lots of little needles falling in front of them.Harvey flags down a cab and leans in to speak to whoever is in there before he nods and nods Mike into the back of the car."Where are we going?" Mike asks as he scrubs a hand through his hair and blinks up at the man. Harvey watches him and the ruffles his hair further."Out," Harvey says, grinning.Mike narrows his eyes suspiciously and it makes Harvey laugh. "How many were there?" Harvey asks, his thumb tracing the bruise that's starting to appear on Mike's cheek."Four," Mike says and he's kinda proud of it if he's honest, something that's becoming stronger as Harvey and Gordon don't seem inclined to scold him. "Caught Bobby on the nose.""He the new kid?" Harvey asks and Mike nods. "There's a place on the nose," Harvey offers as he taps on Mike's, "If you get it, you can make someone bleed like a stuck pig.""Pretty sure I'd have been suspended for longer," Mike mutters, but he smiles because…he doesn't know but if he'd have to put a name to the look in Harvey's eyes, it'd be something akin to pride. "So…I got in trouble with you last time…""You deserved to be in trouble," Harvey says, sitting back and his elbow rests on the window. "This…They have to tell you off. But in the real world, no teachers are coming to help you, kid. And you were right. You back down once, they'll walk all over you."Yeah. Mike toes at the seat in front of him. "The first place I was in there was a kid there. He'd…backed down," Mike said because that was probably the easiest way of putting it. "His life sucked. This girl, Iris, she told me that I'd be him if I didn't hit back the first time they started."He can feel Harvey watching him now. But the man just nods after a moment. "Yeah," he says tightly. "I guess you do know that."XxxWhen they get out, it's to offices and a huge glass building that Harvey walks towards with confidence and Mike comes to a stop as he suddenly realises where they are."D…" he bites back the word because he knows that Harvey can get weird about it. "Why are we here?"Harvey just stands at the doorway, waiting and Mike trots forward. As soon as he catches up, they're inside and Harvey nods to security who wave him through a gate and then they head towards an elevator. It's bright and glassed and Mike peers at his bruise in the mirrors, catching Harvey smiling behind him."I thought I wasn't allowed here," Mike questions."No-one will be here. We're off the back of a big case. Most will be at home or, if they're in, in the bullpen or library."Library? Mike shifts a little because he kinda wants to see it, but also it doesn't sound like that's why they've come to Harvey's office.The elevator doors open up to a huge office. There's a massive island reception desk which is empty now and huge glass offices lining the edges.Harvey walks with ease and they go through a door and into a section with lots of desks in the middle. There are one or two people in there still, heads down over stacks of paper or doing something on the computer and they don't seem interested in Harvey at all.They walk around for a bit, and Mike finds it fascinating all the offices and places. People's names are on the doors with their titles and there are senior associates like what Harvey is and junior partners and senior partners. Harvey murmurs a few explanations as they walk, commenting on how the firm is structured and who does what.And then there's a door and Harvey enters with ease.There are some basketballs on a shelf and a whole wall of records that doesn't surprise Mike one bit. There's also a bright painting which sort of fits but doesn't and Mike finds himself looking at it curiously for longer than he means to.There's an album that is framed and it's a Charles Bradley & Menahan Street Band which warms Mike even as it confuses him a little.Harvey's hands are warm on his shoulders and Mike is steered towards Harvey's chair. Amused, he sits in it and swivels a little from left to right as Harvey then takes a seat opposite."Like the feeling?" Harvey asks.Yes. Mike cranes to look at the office beyond the glass walls and there's a desk that he thinks is probably Donna's and it feels like Harvey in this room, both warm and interesting and yet intense and intimidating. "So…this is like a reward?"Harvey smirks at him. "No. This is visual representation." He turns a little. "You see that bullpen that we walked through?""Yes.""That's where most of the associates that I started with still work. That's where associates that started before me still work. Some I went to Harvard with. But I'm in here," he says, pointing, "And they're out there, doing what I tell them."Mike watches him."See, most people," Harvey says, scooting close, "they're like this," he holds out a hand flat and it's at chest height. "Life…ticks along. No risks, they work hard but," he shakes his head and keeps his hand where it is. "Me? I like this," he says and rises his hand to almost above his head. "People tell me what to do and," he shakes his head, "I do it how I want. I trust myself and I don't settle."Mike shifts."You learn how to play the game at school, kid. But it is just as a game and it is not real life. You ever do something that is more fitting for life than school…" Harvey shrugs. "Then I'm happy. But you take the consequences, kid."Mike hums, leaning forward a little. "I am. I got suspended. I didn't complain.""You didn't complain because you got a day off school," Harvey responds. "But they attacked you, they were in the wrong and you did what needed to be done. Is that what people will remember given you got the same punishment?""No," Mike says after a moment. "They'll remember that we were all fighting."Harvey nods. "So. Did you win?"Huh. Mike thinks about it, eyes sweeping across the bare desk. "I wasn't playing to win. I was doing it to…""Stay where you were," Harvey offers. He's smiling though as if pleased.Huh."Don't get me wrong," Harvey says, "It's a damn good start. More than most and…I'm proud. But next time, think about the next step. And the next. And what's better, kid? Fighting to stay up or putting them down?""It's not a battle," Mike says.But Harvey watches him and then nods. "True," he allows. "But it's a way of thinking. Don't just react. Have a plan and make sure it's a good one.""And when you say a good one?" Mike asks, "You mean one that you would approve of?"Harvey's lips curl up. "No. Just one that you approve of. When you're older…" he hums a little. "You and I are probably gonna disagree on things.""You and Gordon don't," Mike protests.Harvey actually snorts. "We don't in front of you," he corrects. "But we do go at each other. We disagree. We offer advice but…just because we don't agree or listen to each other doesn't mean it's wrong. You do what you need to do. And you remember that."Mike looks past him again. "You want me to be like this?" he asks, lifting his hand above his head.Harvey nods. "Because you are going to be brilliant," he says and there is such belief in his voice that Mike wants to shift or hug him or not cry. "But you and I are similar in so many ways but completely different in others. And my way…works for me. But I don't know if it will work for you. So you might need to push back sometimes."Mike ponders it for a moment. "Push back or plan to win?"Harvey's smile deepens. "You are not ready to try that. Yet. You won't be for years. But you…this? What happened today? You want to be your own man." He gestures behind him. "Some of them still don't get what that means. But it's a harder path, Mike. And that," he says, nodding at Mike's cheek, "is what happens on that path. But so is this," he says and spreads his hands to indicate the office.He lifts his hand to his cheek and smiles a little. And it makes Harvey smile a little more."If it was an adult," Mike said, testing out the theory that's building, "You'd have stepped in."Something crosses Harvey's face, but he just nods."Are you gonna let me handle this?" Mike asks slowly. "School rules, right? Practice."Harvey's eyes slide to the shelves and there's a bottle of scotch. "If you were older, I'd toast with you," he says. "But," he stands, "for now." He turns Mike around so that he's staring out across the city. "Sometimes... I could give you any of this," he says quietly. "But it'd be doing you a disservice. Instead," his reflection smiles at Mike. "I can teach you how to get it yourself. And one day, if that means going a few rounds with me..." Harvey smiles. "Then that's okay too."Mike looks up at him. And then nods.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Camping blows. It's wet and cold and you can't order pizza or get cell reception and Mike fought with Gordon three times before the weather gets so bad that even Gordon admitted that it was shit and agreed to pack up and go home.The drive back was silent. Mike stared out the window while Gordon scowled at the traffic like it had insulted his mother. The thought made Mike snigger.Although…"Are your parents still alive?"Gordon blinked as if surprised Mike was still there and then glanced over at him. "Do you really think I wouldn't have introduced you to them if they were?"Mike shrugged. "When did they die?"Gordon seemed to chew on it for a moment. "My mom died when your father was fifteen. My father was in the army."There was a long moment when he appeared to think that Mike would draw some conclusion."He died," Gordon explained. "Second world war. I never met him."Oh. Surprised, Mike peered over at him, his mind racing at the idea that Gordon was that old. "Did she re-marry?"Gordon shook his head. "Nope. It was just her and me." He looks ahead to make a turn and Mike shifted a little because he's a little interested now."What was her name?""Grace," Gordon replied and he sat back in the car seat. "She and my dad married out of high school. He signed up and…" he shook his head. "But my dad had a brother. He used to come by every weekend. Take me to games, taught me to box.""What happened to him?""He…" Gordon hesitated a little. "Drugs. Alcohol. He had a difficult time of it all. He was younger than my Dad. There was about ten years between them. Eleven between us."Not sure what to make of it, Mike peered back out of the window. But there was something nagging at the edges of his mind and-"You went camping."He could hear the smile in Gordon's voice. "Yeah. So did me and Harvey and Marcus. When I was back from the road, I'd take them. Give Lily a break." His voice caught a little and Mike glanced, only to shift uncomfortably when he realised just how Gordon worried his ex-wife had spent her time.It's stupid and Mike knows that he's being a brat, but… "Did Harvey used to like it?"Gordon nodded. "The only camp he hated was boxing camp. And even then…he refused to let it beat him. I wanted…" he frowned at the traffic. "I suppose I wanted to know that both of them could handle themselves. That they could battle back anything that came their way.""You've never sent me to a camp.""I'm not your father."Mike shifted because Gordon is like the only person to ever use that word for Harvey and Mike isn't sure whether he minds or not and that's weird. "Would you have?"Gordon hesitated. "Yes," he replied after a long and heavy silence in which the only noise was the windscreen wipers trying frantically to mop up the dashes of rain across the windscreen. "But I think that maybe Harvey was right.""He didn't want to send me?"It was like Mike has found a secret weapon because Gordon squirmed like he was fully aware that he might be giving away too much. "No," Gordon said eventually. "He thought you'd had enough upheaval. And enough battles. Harvey was under the impression that you just needed to settle somewhere. Re-establish your boundaries."Huh. It's not quite what Mike worried about and there's nothing really to get angry about, but he felt oddly disappointed all the same. Unsure, he turned his head to stare out of the window again."He was gay."Confused, Mike glanced back."My uncle," Gordon explained. "I'm relatively sure. His mind is…""He's alive?""Yes. And I haven't introduced you because of him. Harvey would kill me. He…I don't know what happened. He never talked to me about it. He was homeless for a few years when the kids were little and," Gordon shook his head. "I saw far too many friends in the business fall to it. Drugs, sex. Addictions. Depression. There are some people who never trust what they're able to do. I wanted Harvey and Marcus to know just what they were capable of, to learn resilience, to have trust in themselves. To push back when the world finds a reason to tear you down." He sniffed. "It's not as simple as that, I know. But back then, that was what I thought. But you…"Annoyed, Mike looked back over. "But me?" he asked and he's spoiling for a fight, he knows it."What did you think the first time you went to a foster home?"The conversation is suddenly far too uncomfortable."Harvey knew that if he needed to leave, I'd get him. How long did it take for you to wish you could call someone?"Shaking his head, Mike refused to answer because that way lies…well. Things that he doesn't want to deal with.Ever."And that's why."Mike clenched his jaw and then turned his head back to Gordon. "So what…you think that it broke me or something?"Gordon whipped his head around so quick that he might as well have snapped his neck off. "Mike, that's not what I meant-""You just said. I went to a foster home. I was…left there," Mike said and his voice cracks pathetically and he hates it, "and now I'm too fragile to send to camp.""Mike-""Go on then. What did I say was wrong?"Gordon turned his attention back to the road and Mike watched as his jaw clenched. "Christ it's like arguing with Harvey," he muttered under his breath."What? Mike snapped and then hissed in fury when Gordon said nothing. "Fuck you then," Mike snarled and practically turned his back to Gordon (as much as he could manage in the car) and started to count down the minutes until they got home.xxxWhen they finally got back, Mike fled the car as quick as he could and stomped up to the apartment as Gordon seemed unwilling to follow. There's a moment of relief at seeing their door and he doesn't want to examine it. He wants to get in, slam that door, slam his bedroom door and say fuck the world-There was a woman at the table.And she was smoking hot. Thick dark hair framed a delicate face and pixie like jaw. She was sat with her legs crossed and those were some amazing legs. She's dressed in a man's shirt and Mike has a moment of sheer curiosity as to what he might be able to see."Harvey," the woman called and she looked annoyed more than insulted. "Why is there a teenager at the door with a key?"Jolting back to reality, Mike blinked before he stormed towards his room even as Harvey appeared mostly naked at his bedroom door. "Why are you back?" Harvey called."Fuck you."He slammed the door behind him and it's petty he knows, but he also dragged a chair over against the door and then a desk and there. No-one is getting in now. He's dimly aware that there are tears on his face and he scrubbed at them furious because it seems like everything is betraying him.No-one tried the door and Mike is somewhat grateful for it. But he hovers close to the door which is why he can hear the moment that Gordon comes in because Harvey is not quiet."What the hell happened?"Whatever Gordon said in reply is lost because Gordon is always better at keeping his voice down. And there are lighter tones that must be the woman."You said what?" And that's Harvey and he sounds beyond mad suddenly.And then the door slammed shut and there's silence in the apartment. Confused, Mike leaned against the wall and then scowled because the idea of moving everything back again makes him feel stupid but…He's kind of…What the hell is happening?He opened the door after moving the furniture a little and the apartment is empty.Seriously?"They went outside," the woman said as she re-appeared in Harvey's bedroom door. She has more clothes on this time and was fastening an earring as she spoke. "So you're Harvey's long lost son."He shrugged. "They went out?" he asked because what dicks."To fight," the woman said, looking amused as she headed into the main room to retrieve her shoes and Mike stared at the couch where a tie is left across the back and shoe has been tossed into the corner and-"Did you have sex in here?" Mike asked, looking around in horror.The woman smiled. "I like a bed. This room was in the way."Oh. Phew. Because knowing that something like that had happened…strike that. He'd be fine with knowing that she'd has sex in this room, but Harvey having sex in the room…gross. But then the rest of what she said registered and he stared at the door half in horror and half…well.Who wins between Gordon and Harvey?"Tell Harvey," the woman said, once her shoes were on and she had retrieved a fancy looking coat, "That Scottie says he owes her.""You're Scottie?"She smirked at him. "What? Has he told you about me?" she asked, and it sounded like she was mocking Harvey in someway."Crab medication," Mike muttered.It took her a second or two and then she smiled. "You?"He nodded."Nice." She smiled at him and it seemed a little more genuine that what he'd previously seen her do. "You should do things like that more often. Makes court a whole lot more fun."Oh god. Horrified, he stared at her as she headed towards the door.And then he was alone in the apartment, not sure what to do.XxxHarvey returned about half an hour later, pissed.When the door slammed shut, Mike turned and peered over the couch ready to spring up, but it was just Harvey and he hesitated, not really sure how to react."You okay?" Harvey asked.Mike nodded. "I just didn't want to talk about it," he said, defensively. "Sorry about Scottie."Harvey didn't seem surprised that she'd gone. "You know he loves you."Mike nodded. "He was weird all day," Mike complained. "I didn't want to go camping.""Didn't think you did.""You just wanted me to leave so that you could have sex," Mike snapped. "Like your mom."The air sort of froze. And Mike stared at Harvey, suddenly, well…terrified.Harvey's jaw worked a few times and he remained very still. Mike almost started counting as they sat, as if for something to happen."I'm gonna give you a pass," Harvey said tightly, "Because you've had a shit day."Mike nodded, curling up a little. "Is he coming home?""Not tonight," Harvey replied and he seemed to ease back a little. "You know Jessica sometimes says that we're like doctors. Lawyers, I mean. We press until we find where it hurts. And that's exactly what happened tonight.""That's stupid," Mike muttered."Tell me about foster care then."The automatic response is to tell him to fuck off again. But Mike knew that Harvey was playing a game and trying to make a point so he scowled instead. "I've talked to you about it.""When you want to.""So? I've still talked about it.""Yeah. And that's why you slammed out of a car, told me to fuck off and then went for me using my mom."When it's said like that…Mike clicked his jaw. "He thinks I'm too fragile for camp.""That is not what he said.""Sorry, I must have missed something because I didn't see you sat in the back of the car.""Doesn't matter. That's not what he said. And do you want to go to camp?""Two different issues," Mike replied and Harvey had a momentary ghost of a smile on his face before it vanished. "There's nothing to tell. No drama. No…just nothing."Harvey sat back in his chair like he's some sort of therapist. "Tell me about the first week."Mike shook his head. But Harvey doesn't look like he's about to budge and maybe he should have stayed in the fort that he'd made in his room.So he looked at Harvey straight on. "Don't.""Mike-""Dad. Don't."Harvey's breath remained very silent but he didn't move. "There are two reasons for doing that," he said quietly. "Either you're being a dick about it or you mean it which means I need you to tell me because…because that's what Dad's do."Mike shook his head. "Dad's get drunk and killed." And he doesn't really know what he means by that, like Harvey is but isn't and is worse, but better or-He doesn't know.Harvey looked away. "You think you should start with that school councilor. Or someone outside of school?"God no. Suddenly exhausted, Mike shook his head again, almost collapsing back into the couch."You need to-""No-one listens," Mike said and he can't look at Harvey. Instead, he fixed his gaze on the TV that's now running silent because Harvey muted it at some point. The people on screen are having some passionate conversation and Mike has a momentary wonder as to what that's like. To have some conversation that clears everything up quickly and in time for a whole story line to be wrapped up in an hour. "And if they do…it doesn't matter. No-one has time or cares or can do anything. I cried because of…and that's weak."He doesn't look at Harvey. "They left me. And I hated them and…" Mike jumped when he realised that there were tears on his face again. "But you learn not to be weak." He looked over at Harvey who had leaned forward at some point."Which is why you don't need to go," Harvey said roughly. "At boxing camp it was brutal. But it was... artificial. I could quit. You couldn't. You've done the real thing."Right."You should talk to someone," Harvey pushed."Do you? Cause…" Mike hesitated. "I'm not being a dick but you're hardly issue free either."Harvey seemed to accept that. "If you change your mind…"Mike nodded. And he has an odd urge to be held, but he's not eleven anymore and that's not normal, right? And even if it was, he doesn't really know how to ask for it and Harvey was having sex an hour ago so maybe not."She promised you didn't have sex in here," Mike said, needing to change the conversation.Harvey stared at him and then his eyes swept around the room. "She didn't."What?"Paying for hotels gets expensive. And a bit salacious at times.""But in your room, right?"Harvey smiled but it seems more forced. "You need feeding?""Yes." Mike turned on the couch to peer over it, kneeling up as the man headed toward his coat. "But seriously. Your room?""You might want to move a little to the left," Harvey said as he pulled out his wallet and then reached for a takeaway menu.It took a moment for that to sink in, but when it did, Mike leapt back and away from the couch. "Are you serious?"Harvey sniggered. "This is fun."Almost amused but mostly disgusted, Mike weaved towards him. "This is not fun," he insisted. "In fact-"He was close when Harvey suddenly pulled him in for a hug. He was tall enough now to come up to Harvey's shoulder and he leaned in more than he intended to.They didn't say anything. But Mike found himself snuggling in closer and it was easier when his face was buried in Harvey's shoulder because he didn't have to think about it, or how it looked or how embarrassing it was that at fourteen he still wanted a hug."It won't happen again," Harvey hissed against Mike's hair. "You are never going to be powerless like that again."It hit. A direct slam that just robbed Mike of his breath and made him want to shove Harvey away and also cling to him like a baby sloth. Confused, he didn't move."Me. Gordon. Marcus. Kate. Donna. Jessica. There's a whole list of people. Back-ups on back-ups," Harvey continued and his hand cupped Mike's head. "It wouldn't be the same, but they'd give you a voice. And I have a shit tone of money so you'd get that."He doesn't want it. All he could do was shake his head against Harvey's shoulder and the man sighed."It…it's like going on holiday, but a really shit one," Mike whispered and he can feel Harvey shift a little to listen. "You almost forget life was anything else and it happens so quick. And then I was at foster home and it just happened. And this is…" He hated the idea of saying it. Hated how open and vulnerable it would make him feel. "I don't want it to go away. Ever."Harvey reached his hands to cup Mike's face the way he used to when Mike was younger. "Not happening," he said, his brown eyes warm and there's something in his expression. Something fierce and furious and tempered."Even if you want a sex apartment?"Harvey smiled. "Even then," he said and wrapped Mike back up in his arms again.XxxGordon came back the following day and Harvey had maybe been at the office while Mike had been asleep for most of the morning because he was already in a suit when Mike surfaced and there was always something about his attitude that was slightly shifted when he was coming back after or during work.It was surprisingly easy. Gordon opened his arms and Mike leaned in and he would kill anyone who mocks him for this."See," Harvey said as he sat there drinking his coffee. "The kid just had a bad reaction to camping."Mike rolled his eyes as he pulled back. "Sorry."Gordon chucked him under the chin. "Me too." He studied Mike and then rolled his eyes. "I'll go get some bacon."Mike grinned. "Fry it though?"Gordon just shook his head. "Are you staying?" he asked Harvey."For your cooking? Pass," Harvey said. He stood up and eyed Mike up. "Are you allergic to water, kid? Have a shower."Mike snorted. "I will." He smiled at Gordon as he headed to his room and then turned to Harvey."You want something?""I…you're gonna take it wrong."Harvey scowled. "Then don't say it."Yeah but… "Sometimes…like listen to the end, okay?"Harvey drew in a long breath. "Go.""Some dads…" and he stared at the table because he's almost sure that Harvey has pulled a face, "…are silly and have terrible taste in films and give you candy till you hurl. And some wear suits and think they're batman and have sex on your couch. And that's…I miss him. But I wouldn't give you up either."When he glanced up, Harvey looked weird. And then he nodded a few times. "Enjoy the bacon," he said awkwardly."Okay," Mike said, a little perplexed."I'm heading out and-" Gordon blinked between them all. "Are-""I'll walk out with you," Harvey said in that same strange tone. "Stick your head in the shower," he said and Mike thinks that he was probably trying for casual, but he fell way short.XxxWhen Gordon returned, he ruffled Mike's hair and pressed a kiss to his head. "I just spent half an hour with your father who practically wore a new path into the sidewalk.""He good?"Gordon snorted."I don't know…he's still Harvey," Mike said as Gordon headed to the stove. "But…sometimes…. sometimes I don't want to call him Harvey. But I know he'll get weird because he thinks I'm trying to win something or… I don't know," he finished miserably.Gordon turned and nodded. "Do you want me to tell him that?" he asked after a pause."Yeah," Mike said, relieved. "That way he can get weird with you instead."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
So. That happened.Half sure that someone would be able to spot it on his face as he walked through the door, Mike hunched his shoulders and ducked his head as he tried to escape to his room."What did you do?" Harvey asked.He wasn't at the table when Mike looked, but in the armchair actually watching TV and Mike stared because he genuinely couldn't remember that last time that had happened on a weekday before seven."I didn't-""Spare me the bullshit. What did you do?"It was so tempting to tell him nothing or to try and deflect the issue. And what Mike wouldn't give to have it be Gordon for this conversation."I was studying. At my partner's house."Harvey's head tilted. "Wouldn't happen to be a girl partner, would it?"Hatefully, Mike felt his cheeks start to heat up again. "Maybe it was a boy," he tried.Harvey actually snorted. "You are not subtle. Scottie has mentioned you staring at her chest." Harvey seemed to consider it for a moment, "Which might be a little fucked up," he added, as if just starting to think about it.Oh, great. "This is like the worst moment of my life.""Name?"Mike scratched at his face and then sighed. "Emma.""You need condoms?"Oh Jesus. "No," Mike yelped and then looked away and dug his hands into his trouser pockets. "Can I go?""Should we have a chat? The chat?""No," Mike insisted, trying to get to the door to his room, but Harvey stood and moved so that he was in the way and maybe Gordon's room might be free. "Please don't make this a thing," he begged."You know where babies come from?"Mike glared at the ceiling. "Can you not?""You know how to use a condom?"It…huh? "I think it's self-explanatory," Mike tried. "And also not having sex. I just…she…we…" he sighed. "It was my first kiss," he admitted, staring at the wall.There's a long silence. And maybe Harvey's reconsidering that DNA test he once got because that's probably not something any child of Harvey's would say. Maybe at the age of twelve, but fifteen, almost sixteen?Definitely not."You're embarrassed," Harvey said quietly and his tone is not longer teasing, but maybe a little confused.Mike shrugged. "Can I go to my room," he asked and practically braced himself for the masturbation joke."Okay," Harvey said, still sounding baffled.Great. Mike was so not going to question his luck.XxxAn hour later, Harvey knocked on the door. "Mike?"Lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, Mike sighed. "What?""Come out here."Well…he'd had an hour. Bracing himself, Mike got up and opened the door.There's another takeaway on the table and Gordon is putting it in the oven to keep it warm and Mike blinked before frowning at Harvey who landed a hand on his shoulder and steered him to the table to sit him down.And then Harvey stood behind him, both hands on Mike's shoulder like he was pinned for an interrogation."What are you doing?" Mike asked, a little panicked.Gordon turned around and sat in the chair opposite."Okay, this is like a gang initiation. They warned us about this at school. If you ask me to go steal something then-""Shut up," Harvey said, sounding fondly exasperated. "Dad."It was like a signal or something. And Gordon reached into a bag and brought out-A bunch of bananas.What?Baffled, Mike stared and then looked up at Harvey. "I don't…what do you want-" and there was a flash of some memory and a comment and- "Oh, no way am I doing this with you two."Gordon let out an amused burst of laughter. "Marcus is very sorry that he couldn't be here. Or take pictures. But then he has his own kid to do this with one day." He broke off one of the bananas and held it out to Mike."I really don't think I need this any time soon," Mike protested."Doesn't matter. If you're nervous about it, you won't want to use it. And if you don't use it, you are going to risk more than I want. So. You are gonna put it on the banana until it becomes easy and boring.""You don't have that much time free," Mike pointed out even as he sighed and accepted the banana. He turned it over in his hands and then let out a squeak when Gordon placed a box of condoms on the table."Oh my god, please tell me no-one saw you buy those," Mike complained and he wished Harvey would let go, but the man doesn't seem convinced that Mike wouldn't run out the door.To be fair, Mike wasn't convinced that he wouldn't.The foil packet was foreign and awkward in his hands and it's surprisingly squidgy. And one of Harvey's hands moved from Mike's shoulder to the condom."See here," Harvey said. "This is a date stamp. Check it."Condoms have a date?!"Do not use your teeth," Gordon said and he leaned back in his chair, apparently enjoying himself immensely. "Cool as it might seem, you'll risk tearing it."People used their teeth? Mike turned it over again in his hands. And then with a burst of courage, opened it.It's slimy and it makes his hands feel weird. And there's this rubber, floppy ring that freaks him out just a little."On the banana," Harvey encouraged and he finally took his hand off Mike's shoulder and sat down on the chair to the side of Mike. "Have a go. You get it wrong, we won't judge."Part of him hates it, but part of him is so relieved because the idea of doing this for the first time with a girl that he wants to have sex with would be so much worse and yeah, maybe he wouldn't want to risk this so would skip even using one.He hopes he wouldn't.But he's not absolutely sure.He fumbles a little and then tries to roll the condom down and is confused when it only goes so far.Harvey reached out, turned it over and then nodded. "Try again."The next time it unrolled and Mike stared at it, a little fascinated and proud by the sight."But," Gordon said. "Why is it useless?"What? Frustrated, Mike turned the banana over and over in his hand. In the end, he scowled and looked up. "I don't know," he admitted as he glanced between Gordon and Harvey. Gordon is smiling a little as if he has some memories of something else and Mike wonders exactly how his father and uncle acted at this moment when it happened to them. Harvey, on the other hand, seems much more serious."Here," Harvey said and took the banana. "When you turned it over," he said and he takes the condom off the banana with an ease that surely no-one in the world would be surprised by, "it'd get…pre-ejaculate," he said and the more scientific word sounds a little awkward in his mouth and Mike wondered a little if he was trying to make up for earlier, "gets on the condom. You turn it over and it becomes ineffective."Oh. Shifting, Mike reached for the next condom packet and opened it with a lot less fear. He scowled and then studied the condom for a moment before he unrolled it over the banana. This time, it's more successful and the condom ended up on the banana as it should, first time.When he looked up, Harvey was opening one and blowing it up.The sight sent Mike into giggles. "What are you doing?" he asked as Harvey tied it off at the end and then batted it back at Mike."Take the mystery out of it," Gordon said as he stood and heads to a cupboard. When he gets back, he had cans with him. "How many of these can you fit a condom over?"Mike looked between them both and then shrugged, already starting to feel less terrified of the prospect of using a condom at the moment of his life where he'd probably feel the most judged.He managed two. Harvey could do three. Same condom, just Harvey seemed more determined and to know what to do a little more. And then Gordon stood behind Mike and covered his eyes and Mike cackled with laughter as he tried to place the condom onto the banana and he's almost sure Harvey filmed that part to send to Marcus.And then he was left to his own devices. He sniggered and tried to put them over a zucchini and then over his hand and it felt gross but he was curious. Gordon gives him a stupid toy ring with some jagged edges and Mike felt oddly mournful when the condom splits because of it."Nails and rings," Gordon warned. "I don't care about fairness. If the girl you're sleeping with has long nails or sharp rings, it's always best for you to do it.""You know I am no-where near this though, right?" Mike checked once he'd bored of them and Gordon starts to tidy up the mess on the table to serve dinner."I know," Harvey replied. "But I also know that life happens and things happen and you might be in a situation where you want to use it. I'd rather you knew than didn't."Yeah. "Thanks," Mike said awkwardly. "This…is it weird if I call it fun?"Harvey grinned. "No. First time Dad did this with me, I tried to put Marcus' head in a condom. Believe me, that was beyond fun."Mike nearly choked with laughter at that image. "Almost want a younger brother now.""Yeah, well," Harvey smiled and took a sip of his beer, his arm resting along the back of the couch. "I'm better with protection now. Not happening.""Yeah, I mean, you got perfection once, right. What are the chances of it happening again?"Harvey threw a cushion at him. And Mike grinned, shifting into the corner of the couch. He's getting tall enough now that the couch isn't quite long enough and he has to dig his toes under Harvey's leg causing the man to roll his eyes."How old were you?" Mike asked, keeping his voice a little low, ignoring the television.Harvey winced a little. "Your age," he said eventually. "I had a long-term girlfriend. It wasn't…" Harvey turned and watched him. "First times are…not great. We got better."Of course. Though it's a relief to know that Harvey wasn't like twelve or something stupid."Do you want to know how old I was?" Gordon asked."No," Mike and Harvey both replied at the same time. And it made Gordon laugh again.XxxWithin three weeks the romance was over."What happened?" Harvey asked.Mike shrugged, arms folded and feet up on the coffee table. "She liked Amir better," he said and he's not like bitter but-He's bitter. Everyone at school knows and it sucks.Harvey held out an arm and Mike ducked under it until they were sat side by side on the couch."Her loss," Harvey said easily.Yeah, she doesn't think so."Out of curiosity," Harvey said as he winced at a Simpson's joke. "That…comment about it being a girl or a guy.""Yeah?""You know either is fine, right?"It's such a casual question. Or at least it's said in such a casual way. But there's a kid at school that Mike knows is struggling with the idea of having a conversation like this.Nodding, Mike shifted. "Would there be another condom lesson for that?" he asked warily.Harvey shoved him back playfully by his face until Mike lands against the arm of the couch. In retaliation, he kicks at Harvey."Wasn't a no," Harvey said gently even as he caught Mike's foot. "And why do you have holes in your socks?""I couldn't find any others this morning," Mike complained. "And…I don't know, dude. Girls …I definitely like those though.""Do not called me dude." Harvey lets go of his foot. "And go put those in the trash."Rolling his eyes, Mike stood up and yawned then muttered in complaint when Harvey changed the channel."When you pay for the TV, you get to complain," Harvey replied.Whatever.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The first time Harvey fails his son is before the kid is even born.When Laura turned up at his dorm, nervous and shaking he's just assumed she was on a come down. Her drug use was most of the reason that he'd never seen her as a serious possibility. She was incredible on a night out; she was stunningly beautiful and funny and quick witted enough to hold Harvey's attention.The only problem was that at some point she became way too reliant on the drugs to help with those things.Anyway. He'd been nursing a hangover and his dorm mate was out so he was half-heartedly searching for some porn when she turned up.He'd grinned and stepped back, then had noted her nerves and inwardly sighed because his hand would be so much easier to score with but she was upset and he wasn't a complete dick so fine. But if it was about Kenneth again-"I'm pregnant."If she'd have pulled out a gun and shot him he wouldn't have been more stunned. There was almost a physical jolt to his stomach and he felt every single word die in his throat.He wants to ask if she's telling him because she wants advice or because it's his and Harvey just ends up sitting on the edge of his bed feeling as if somehow the world has tilted out of rhythm because he knows she's not telling him to get some advice. She's way too wide-eyed and nervous.He stares at her still flat stomach and has an urge to run out the room. But he's not that person."How far along?""Eleven weeks."Yeah. That's his then."You okay?" he asks her and Laura shakes her head and bursts into tears and he pulls her down to sit with him wrapping an arm around her so she can sob into his throat.He's turning twenty in three weeks.She decides she's keeping it and Harvey…well…if he's honest, he doesn't really feel anything. The terrible truth about this situation is that the child is inconvenient. It's not his body; he doesn't have to stop drinking or partying. He can go hours without thinking about it and when he does, he sort of shoves it to one side because it's months until he has a physical thing to deal with.He's not a dick about it though. Once she decides to keep it, he never asks again. When she has an appointment he goes with her and there's this weird fluttering heartbeat that makes it all a lot more real for about a day until that novelty fades.When he goes home for his birthday, he waits until his brother's gone up to his room before he broaches the topic. And he knows his Dad knows something is up because Harvey declined going out to a bar with him and hasn't touched the beer that they bought.He sits on a chair opposite them. His mom looks uncertain, nervous and he imagines she believes he's gonna rat her out and he should, but there is only so much he can cope with."I got someone pregnant."The words are…they're hard. But he's not flinching away from this.His mom chokes on her glass of wine and looks over at his dad as if to try and send a message with her eyes. His dad stares at him in absolute furious silence. And it's him that Harvey stares back at."Is she keeping it?" his dad asks eventually.Harvey nods. "She's four months along." And he feels panic racing up his throat and he hates it because he swore he wasn't some kid and he isn't that now, is he? But he wants-And his dad just knows. Harvey knows beyond this that a lecture is coming. A thousand of them. But right now, he stands up and pulls Harvey into a hug and all he can feel is his dad's heartbeat, a steady, reassuring and constant rhythm.One day, he'll do this for his kid.The thought makes him burst into scared tears, and it's humiliating and he hates it.He goes back to college and he's all over the place and he knows it. The idea of working out finances is too much and Laura tries to talk to him about plans for afterwards and he just…can't.She's six months along when she and Kenneth get into some argument and she's shoved and loses her footing, falling awkwardly and there's bleeding. He hears about it three hours later.He heads towards the hospital.But he isn't sure it wouldn't be the best thing for everyone if something…bad had happened.The thought makes him stop, horrified and… a little relieved that he's allowed to think it because no-one else is there to hear his thought process.His mind is a mess when he arrives at Laura's bed and she's pale and nervous (again) but he hasn't really seen her because they've both been home for winter break (or at least he has) and-Her stomach is distended. She looks pregnant now. There are monitors for the baby and she's talking to him, upset and crying and-Harvey placed a hand on her stomach. It's rude, he realises later, he didn't bother to ask, but as he does, he feels something…someone shift around and kick.That's his kid.It's like…he can't describe what it is. It's not love. Not yet. But it is something akin to acceptance and a paradigm shift."Is it okay?" he asks, stroking his thumb over her skin."Yes," Laura says in a tone that implies she's been saying that since he walked in. "Kicking and everything. They just want to observe, make sure that there aren't any further complications."Right.The kid could have gone, Harvey realises. And he wouldn't have had this moment and it would have been stolen-When Kenneth appears, skulking and looking both mortified and guilty, Harvey shoves him into the wall and gets in a few good hits before a nurse and doctor pull him off."You go near my kid again-" Harvey snarls."Fuck you," Kenneth shouts back, but he's being wrestled out the room. "She's my fucking girlfriend."What?Harvey turns in absolute disbelief to Laura who has cupped an arm around her stomach and is looking lost.And there's this moment where he realises that his child is this tiny, vulnerable little thing and it's going to be his job to protect it and he's already failed it once.And he's gonna continue to as well for as long as Laura keeps seeing that shithead.XxxCharlie is born in March. He's early which is annoying because Harvey really wasn't ready but-But.Harvey's in the room with Laura and is so fucking relieved that he's not female because that looks like so much work and agony to bring a person into the world and he doesn't watch his son come into the world from the business end because well…he really doesn't want to be put off of looking at someone's vagina.But the baby boy that comes out is…mushed up and tiny and he doesn't even have finger nails yet and he's six pounds and god, Harvey has never felt anything like this before. This is a person he made.Laura gets a cuddle first which is only right because she just did something Harvey is pretty sure he would never be able to do and he stands awkwardly before heading off to call his parents house because no-one was expecting the baby this quickly.But first…"We agreed?" Harvey asks as he reaches a finger to smooth the baby's soft flickers of hair. "Charlie?"Laura nods, and she's crying as she stares down at the baby that's lying face down on her chest. "Charlie," she whispers like it's a new part of the gospel."You have a grandson," Harvey says when his dad answers the phone.There's a choked noise. "It's a boy?""Yeah," Harvey replies, leaning against the wall as he stands by the payphone. "He's tiny. And perfect.""Yeah," his dad replies. "I remember." And Harvey feels this odd warmth and connection because…shit is this how his dad feels about him?"Charlie," Harvey says, trying to get used to the name of the person who is going to be one of the most important people in his life. "I have a son," he adds stupidly.When he gets back, he finally gets to hold the baby. Someone is seeing to Laura and Harvey sits in a chair, cradling this new person in his arms. They've given the baby a blanket and the tiny fingers are flexing thoughtfully.His parents arrive the next day, but there's something subdued and they don't bring Marcus."Harvey," his mom says, "Have you discussed the dates with Laura?"Dates? Confused, he looks down at the coffee they've bought him and thinks maybe he needs some sleep."He's very early," his mom pushes again.Oh.When he asks Laura, she gets mad and they fight viciously.But he can't bear the idea that the baby might not be his. So he demands the DNA test and it takes six weeks so…So he walks away for six weeks.When the test results come back, he's confirmed as the father. And when he goes to see Laura-She's high.He's been a dick, he knows. But if that result had come back differently…he couldn't be around the baby with that question mark. But it's meant she's been on her own with a newborn and she no longer is forced into sobriety because she's pregnant. She's drunk and high and she's given Kenneth a hand job or something and his son is crying and Harvey scoops him up and-Charlie's grown. He's so much more aware and the cries are both louder and more distressed and when Harvey checks, there are little sores because his diaper hasn't been changed often enough and when Harvey takes him for a check-up, the baby is under his projected weight and Harvey wants to swing for Laura.He doesn't know what to do though. He has a dorm at college; he can't look after a baby there. And Laura is sharing an apartment with Kenneth and sometimes the smell of weed makes Harvey want to cough and the idea of walking out and leaving his child there-Still. He takes the baby to the park and the weather's warming up and Charlie's hair is coming through blond and his eyes have settled on a bright blue and he stares at Harvey as if fascinated. And he doesn't really do anything, but some how Harvey finds him equally as fascinating.When he's older…and by that he means in his forties, more than double the age he is now, he'll look back at these weeks and realise he was as subtle as bull. He practically charged at Laura and, if he's honest, tried to bully her into changing. At twenty, he feels completely lost because he has this beautiful baby boy, but he doesn't want him all day long and he wants Laura to change overnight so that his life doesn't have to and it's deeply selfish."I'm trying," she says, flicking her cigarette ash into the tray as she watches him with Charlie. He's almost three months now and has decided that getting his fist into his mouth is going to be his greatest achievement and that he needs to show everyone how it's done."Are you?" Harvey demands, and Laura looks away. "He'll be passively high in here, Laura.""It's summer. The windows can be opened. It's not that bad." She looks up and juts out her chin in a way that their son will mimic perfectly in his teens, "You could take him for the night if you're that concerned."And when he's older, Harvey will know without a doubt that his arrogance and unwillingness to compromise is what robs his son of his mother and starts them down this path because he scowls at her. "You're his mother. I said I'll take him at the weekend and I will."And he puts his son in his little crib and walks out. Thinks he's made a point that they each have their part to play and she'd better step up as well. It's the shittiness of humans, he'll think later, to be so blinded by your own crap that thinking about how someone else is coping is…it just isn't something that occurs.He tells her that he'll pick Charlie up at six to take him to his parents and he plans on having grown up discussions about his son and a plan.Instead, he arrives an hour later and the door is ajar.It's before cell phones and he's genuinely caught up. But he stares at the apartment door and feels something sink.Their stuff is gone. Just a cot and the baby things are left along with a gently snoring Charlie who, miraculously is asleep.Just the idea of it terrifies Harvey. His son was left alone, in an open apartment for at least an hour. His helpless child who he swore he would look after-The realisation that he's shoved Laura too far is one that he shies away from. Instead, he channels all his anger with himself at her and he would happily wring her neck because who the fuck leaves a baby in an apartment alone?Years later, his son will tell him that Laura was waiting on the stairs. That Kenneth had taken all their stuff and she sat and waited on those stairs until Harvey arrived and then stayed until he left with that baby. He doesn't know if it's true or her way of smoothing the hurt in Mike's voice when he hears that story and the only person he can blame for that is Harvey himself because he uses the story as a weapon against his son and it's a dick move.Whatever the truth of that day is, he went in to that apartment as someone playing at being a dad and walks out being a god-damned single parent.XxxThe third time Harvey fails his son is the moment he realises he needs to put the toddler up for adoption.Charlie lives with his parents and Harvey commutes in to college and there are some concessions being made for him. But it's before the internet is being used in such a way and he pays to crash on a friend's sofa and it's not working. He had to defer a few months when he first took custody of Charlie and get everything set up. So he's half a yeah behind where he should be.And it's not like that's been terrible. He does love his son. Loves him more as he gets older and starts to have a personality. His son loves being lifted in the air and will shriek with laughter and that's probably why he loves Marcus so much because Harvey's brother lifts Charlie into the air all the time and Charlie possibly thinks that Marcus' name is 'up' for a good six months of his life.Charlie calling him 'Dada' is a highlight and it settles into 'Daddy' and when the kid's fifteen it becomes 'Dad'. But Harvey doesn't know any of that. He knows that Charlie reaches for him the most and is adored by their entire family and he demands to be read to like books are his life-force and remembers stories because he says 'nuh-uh' when they try to claim a story is finished.But Harvey is twenty-one and his parents are getting a divorce and he told his father and now it all…It's just all too much. The only person acting normally with him is his son and Harvey just-He just can't. And he's not getting it to the situation where he leaves his son alone at home because he will not sink as low as Laura. So he's…not debating adoption, but starting to acknowledge that it's not going right when he gets into a fight.He and Marcus fight because Marcus blames him or doesn't, but Harvey's the only one still at home and he's the one that changed things. And they shout at each other and his dad is drunk and-And Charlie wanders outside because they left the door open. Thankfully, the only thing that the toddler does is fall down the porch steps and is found crying by a neighbour but…But.He wraps the baby in his arms and soothes his son who sobs his little heart out. Marcus is pale and backs off and his father is silent and this? This is what Harvey's son is going to remember of his childhood?Sometimes, Harvey learns that he can't control everything. Emotions, wounds…they need time to heal. And none of them can do that while trying to keep so much going.Deciding to give Charlie up for adoption is the single hardest thing he has ever done. Will ever do. And that includes taking back his son and dealing with his flailing, confused teenaged antics.His boy deserves a family that focus on him. That don't shout or yell or palm him off on baby sitters. He deserves adults as parents and someone who won't pull away, looking off into the distance at what they could have had.He nearly calls it off a thousand times. He holds his child tightly, hears the word 'daddy' and knows that the time is ticking down until he loses him. Hands him away.But he gets that goddamned amendment. And it costs him nearly everything except, somehow, it impresses Jessica Pearson and the night he hands over his son, he sits with her discussing the future that she can give him.XxxThe fourth time – well.The amendment is solid. Of course it is because Jessica is fucking brilliant at her job and the older he gets the more he appreciates that. But social services aren't exactly in the habit of trawling through old records and there's a back-log which means that when his son is orphaned a week after his eleventh birthday, Harvey doesn't know about it.And when his son goes to the funerals, organised by friends of the family, Harvey doesn't know. Maybe it's in a paper, but he doubts it.When his son is shifted into the first foster home where Harvey later discovers that there are five children, his son grieves on his own, and no-one really has the time to help him through. There are well-intentioned people, but in terms of effect…they aren't what his son needs.In truth, it takes Harvey six months to realise his son is now in the foster system. And the only reason he realises is because the money he transfers yearly bounces back when James' bank accounts are finally closed once all of his affairs are dealt with.When Harvey see it, his first thought is that James has actually got his shit together and then, secondly, he's pissed because he took James' furious words that he was Charlie's dad now, but that hasn't stopped James from begging for money because the man can't budget or discipline himself or fucking well make good job choices. But since Charlie's fifth birthday, Harvey's transferred money so what the hell James thinks has suddenly changed, Harvey would love to know.He can't get hold of him (which is obvious in hindsight) so he breaks his own rules and goes to the house. It might mean that Nina recognises him, but James can deal with that and as for Harvey's son…well, he has a different name now and Harvey probably wouldn't be able to pick the kid out of a line up. And he's not being sentimental. But he gave his child to people to be raised in a happy life and James fucking Ross isn't pulling his weight.When a man in his thirties who isn't James opens the door looking confused with boxes on the stairs, Harvey feels a moment of sheer terror because if James has moved and cut contact then how the fuck will Harvey be able to bail him out the next time he makes some dipshit decision?"I'm looking for James Ross?"The man shifts, uncomfortable. "Ah, shit, man," he says, scratching at his head. "I guess you didn't hear?"Harvey hates being called 'man', and glares, knowing the figure that he cuts. His long coat is expensive and the suit underneath it more so. He's not at the height of his career yet, not even close, but he's fucking good and he knows it and he has not got time for this."They died."Harvey is half in the house before his brain catches up with it. "They?" he demands, and the man is stumbling back wide-eyed. "What happened?""Jesus, dude! I…I don't know. The couple. They had a car accident.""And their son?" God, he can't even-"Nah."Relief sends Harvey crashing back against the door frame and he feels like he's just run a marathon. His son is still alive. Not dead or buried-"How long-"But the guy's wife (or partner or whatever she is) is suddenly there, trying to get Harvey to leave and she's loud and he, he's too dazed to really deal with her and he has enough now anyway to go and find out the rest for himself.James Ross took his wife and mother out, their son left at a friend's for a sleep over. James had a drink which was enough apparently to minimise the insurance pay out when they were rammed by a drunk. Edith Ross was thrown forward, breaking her son's neck because she hadn't been wearing a seat belt. The pair were dead on impact. Nina died hours later at the hospital, her injuries too severe and when Harvey sees a picture of the car he feels sick because how close was Charlie to being in that car?Tracking his son down isn't hard. It's painful. People aren't trying to be difficult, but they're overworked, underpaid and no-one really knows what to do with him it seems.He breaks the rules a little. He knows how this works, but he has to know his son is safe. So he gets Vanessa to find Michael Ross, ward of the state.He takes the morning and stands opposite the house with a coffee. It's early September and the kid is at his third placement which…not that usual, Harvey recalls, but not terribly rare either. He has a momentary worry that he won't be able to tell-His son looks like Laura. He's still very blond and his hair is a mess. His face is quite delicate but maybe there's something from Harvey's side in the curve of his jaw and the shape of his eyes. He's in a badly fitting t-shirt and hoodie, even though it's pretty warm, and his shoulder hunch over as he walks with the other kids. There's a weird body language among them, like they've agreed to roam in a pack for safety, but aren't a hundred percent sure it's wise.He feels…Nothing.His son is forever two in his mind, and called Charlie and calls him daddy and asks for kisses and has a slightly weird obsession with people's shoes. This child is…he's a stranger."I don't…" Harvey stares at the wall opposite as he sits in the apartment he started renting three weeks ago so that they can do this. "I didn't feel anything."His father sighs and places a heavy hand on Harvey's shoulder. "Have you changed your mind?""No." Harvey picks up the beer and takes a long drink. "He's not staying there. I can give him more than what he has."But he knows he's failed his son. He picked Nina Ross, despite James. He kept himself away and suddenly it's a painful mimicry of what he did when his mom and Laura implied Charlie wasn't his. He pulled away to protect himself and in doing so left his son wide open to the world.Sparrows, he thinks as he stands in a shitty little office while his son stares at him mulishly. They build their nests and lay their eggs and then tuck them up from the world, bracket their young with their own bodies and expose themselves instead.He has to let Charlie…Mike decide what they'll be. But Harvey also has to place himself between his son and the world now in a way that he never did when the boy was a baby. He loved him and hugged him and indulged him, but he never really allowed himself to be pecked at in order to spare his son. Not until he had him adopted.He can give him a home and protection. And that's what he'll damn well do.XxxHarvey had ambitions, always did. Most were selfish and circled around power, respect and influence.By thirty-one the one single thing he wanted to achieve was a year where Mike wasn't expelled, brought home by the police or had panic attacks when people had a drink. And that seemed more unlikely than achieving everything on the previous list.It was…Mike was like this cute little bundle of anger and confusion and he lashed out like a wet kitten. If he spoke it was monosyllabic and accompanied by a wary glare, as if every conversation was a dare or a battle and figuring him out was next to impossible.Every conversation is a god-damned failure at this point.The third night that the kid moved in, Harvey stood in the doorway watching him sleep. His blond hair was lacking any style or shape but feathered over his cheeks and he was scowling in his sleep like his worries and fears were chasing him even when he should be resting. And he was wrapped up like a burrito and his cheek was on his hand and every exhale almost held the start of a snore.Just like Charlie.He couldn't quite bring himself to use the other name at first. Sulking or annoyance kept him from it and, even knowing that the kid's name had been changed almost as soon as it had happened, Harvey hadn't ever planned on having contact again. Charlie Specter would have been someone to almost have been mourned, the same way that you might think of a dead relative and Harvey had spent a number of March evenings staring down the shot glass in the hopes of settling his last few memories of the boy that he'd had to hand over so someone else could be called Daddy.Though in retrospect, James Ross really hadn't exactly been the best choice.The sulking, defensive eleven-year-old kid was a shock to the system. And Harvey probably could have taken more time off work, but part of him hated it. Hated the child that was starting to overtake and erase his carefully held image of his son."You're not helping yourself," his father said one evening."Neither did you," Harvey snapped as he headed for his room.And just as it got painful, just as the kid seemed as if he would hate Harvey forever and resent the entire situation until he could finally escape, there was this tiny flicker of a glimpse. It lasted approximately fifty hours, but in that time, Mike curled up in his arms and seemed terrified of Harvey getting in a car and actually looked at Harvey for what felt like the first time without using it as an opportunity to size up where to land the next verbal blow."You all right?" Marcus asked quietly when the kid fell asleep against Harvey for the second time in twenty-four hours.He nodded. "He's still little," he said and it was strange to hear the words out-loud because Harvey had looked at Mike and pretty much dismissed him as almost grown simply because he wasn't as small as a two-year-old anymore. "I forgot how little," he admitted, tightening his grip around the child that could curl into his lap still.When he called Mel, she sighed."He'll probably kick back," she warned. "It's a terribly vulnerable thing to admit you need someone. He'll start testing his boundaries."Shit. "He seems tired," he admitted."Self-sabotage is exhausting," Mel agreed and there was a bitter edge to her voice."Self-sabotage?" Harvey questioned. "That's the kind of shit adults pull after being in shitty relationships.""Yes," Mel agreed simply and Harvey winced all the while privately hoping that Mike might prove the exception to the rule.Boy was he wrong.Suddenly there were fights. Verbal and physical. Mike would go out of his way to find a confrontation. The shop window was both baffling and infuriating as was the complete lack of apology on Mike's face. Every single conversation felt like a test and every single thing that Harvey or his dad did was met with a sneer and the feeling that they'd failed whatever Mike was trying to work out."Did the social worker say how long this would last?" his dad asked, his head in his hands.Harvey shook his head and reached for the scotch.XxxThe next school was better. Harvey found himself in endless meetings before they placed Mike and trying to explain that time off to Donna made the whole thing even more exhausting.And three weeks in, he was summoned again and Harvey was almost ready to tell them to just get on with it. Do whatever; they were the experts, right? In fact, if they could tell him what to do-The kid was smiling. Not obviously, but there was a slightly different posture. Like a racehorse about to be unleashed and then, there it was, in black and white. Only kid in the room taking the tests, monitored all the way through and Mike could pass most exams set to high school students and get in the top percentile."I read something and I understand it," Mike said and there was an underlying boast in his voice, even as his shoulder hunched as if he knew he should be cowed, "and if I understand it, I don't forget it."And he didn't. He could recite whole texts, could paraphrase when asked and summarise. He could compare and evaluate what he'd read. There was a hell of a lot of emotionally maturity lacking in what he could do and sometimes he'd almost catch himself and seem to be trying to work out exactly how much was safe to demonstrate.And suddenly everything opened up.This bright, brilliant kid was so quick. And he'd been practically thrown into a situation that didn't have the capacity to deal with it. How many adults had told him off for being too smart or correcting them? How many kids had been jealous at what they all would have known was a ticket to a better life? He'd realised that standing out meant becoming a target for something you couldn't help and so he'd tried to hide, except, he had no idea what that meant. And he obviously had been completely unable to work out how to act around Harvey and his father because-Because there were no other kids, Harvey realised as they drove home. Because Mike didn't know what behaviours to mimic so every single interaction had literally been a test only Mike probably had no idea which of them was being tested and which of them was winning or losing.It's hard to pinpoint the moment that you realise you love your child. Harvey adored the baby that he'd held in his arms from the minute he'd seen him. He'd felt the terror of loss when Laura had made comments about the baby not being his. He'd felt that protective power of knowing that he'd hurt anyone who came for his son. He'd felt the agony of giving him up and the absolute certainty that it was for the best. He'd loved that toddler.He'd felt unquestionable duty to take that child back in. Frustration at not knowing what was right and a small barely acknowledged terror that he might not be able to give Mike what he needed.But the day he'd driven home with this brilliant, confused child who begged not to be moved up a grade because he finally had friends and was so smart he could beat nearly every kid in his school but was also so dumb that he was trying to find a pencil that he'd poked down the cast for his broken arm-That was his son. And he loved the stupid kid with every breath in his body.XxxAnd it got easier. And maybe he hadn't been failing every test that Mike had set because Mike seemed to decide that he'd pushed in every way known to man and was now finished with it. Not to say the kid became an angel but…But. But it was hard sometimes not to tell people. Not to boast at the sheer volume of Mike's knowledge about basketball and baseball because the kid could quote stats like he was some goddamn google machine. And the day Harvey hailed a cab and watched a roll of condoms roll into the street would stick in his mind forever because there had been that moment of disbelief because it seemed too fun for Mike.His son was funny and weirdly sweet and he was a stubborn little shit at times.And the day he'd sat down, chin jutting out like Harvey was going to fight him and declared that he was going to college, Harvey had wanted to cheer because the kid finally knew that standing out above the crowd was totally fine."You know which course?"Mike had peered up at him, highlighter in his mouth, pen in hand and about three dozen papers spread around him. "Huh?""College.""Not sure," Mike said, humming a little. The highlighter wobbled as it got chewed until it stuck out of the side of his mouth like a cigarette. "Didn't you go to NYU?"Harvey had nodded, not entirely sure where this was going."Pass on that then," Mike muttered and retrieved the highlighter."Because I went there?" Harvey asked, almost sure he was going to be pissed about it."Because I am not accidently walking into a room that I might have been conceived in," Mike said with a muted glare in Harvey's direction. "Or where my potential brothers and sisters fell."Cheeky little shit. "If that's your attitude there is a lot of New York that you need to avoid."Mike's nose wrinkled in absolute disgust. "Too far, dude," he complained."Do not call me dude," Harvey muttered absently as he watched the boy. Quasi-adult now. It was hard to remember that he's held this boy in his arms, that he's been six pounds once. That even as an eleven-year-old he could tuck himself into Harvey's lap. He's not quite as tall as Harvey, but the kid isn't far off and Harvey hates it just a little bit."He's all grown up," his dad says one evening as they share a beer and Harvey absently flicks through Mike's college applications and the booklets they've been sent in the mail. Mike's memory is annoying – there's not a single not to hint at what he's thinking. Everything important is firing away at a frantic pace in his son's mind and Harvey doesn't get a look in these days."Half wish he were eleven again," Harvey says and tries not to think about the ages in between. The huge gap that he missed when his son would have looked at him like he was a hero or been easily soothed or would have giggled over some stupid joke."I don't," his dad replies frankly. He blinks over at Harvey. "This is part of it," he says after a moment's consideration. "He won't move out tomorrow."But soon. Maybe a year or two, once the others his age are off to college as well. And then what? Harvey works a lot and Mike will be…well there's a whole world for his son to explore and that's what Harvey wants for him but…But he still wants his kid at home, watching films and grinning as he says some lame joke or tries to tuck his ice-cold feet under Harvey's leg. Or hounds him because Mike seems to have some internal clock that rings at no discernible time frame to announce that their due a basketball game or something like it."Dad?" Mike asks hesitantly three nights later. When Harvey looks up, he's hovering at his bedroom door, one of Harvey's old hoodies on and some sweat pants on and he looks like he's drowning in clothes."Taking you to my tailor would be a waste of time," Harvey replies, looking back down at his work. He can feel his son rolling his eyes as he takes a seat opposite and then he can feel Mike staring."Yes?""Why did you become a lawyer?"Harvey pauses. In eight years, he'll tell his son a much more detailed reason. Now?"If you know the law you have power," Harvey says, leaning back in his chair to study Mike. "And…I always wanted that. I wanted to win."Mike watches him. "I want…to be heard," he says awkwardly and Harvey knows his son well enough to know why. "And I want to make sure other people are heard. Is that…""It's different," Harvey replies after a moment. "But not that different.""Dad," Mike says and his voice is suddenly firm and full on teenage impatience. "Would I make a good lawyer."Yeah, like he didn't know where this conversation was going. But he knows his son and the second you try and build something for the boy, he kicks back, strikes everything down just so he can build up his own ideas for the sheer pleasure of saying he did so.Because Harvey's son isn't that different from Harvey."No," he says and he watches Mike's face fall. "You'd be brilliant. I told you before."Mike huffs out an annoyed laugh and then nods. Then hands out a letter."Columbia. Pre law."Harvey smiles.This brave, brilliant, intelligent kid might be better than him one day. Not in everything, Harvey already knows the boy will be too emotional at times, too easily swayed and he might not have that kill instinct – time well tell with that one. But in terms of the whole package?Yeah. Maybe one day, Mike will be better. Maybe. Depending on the situation.And in years to come, he's so glad that he has the conversation the moment that Mike hands him the letter because they hit a wall of absolute shit within two years of this conversation and at least this is never an issue.Tracing the letter, Harvey fixes his son with a firm look. "But, you need to decide now. Do you want people to know I'm your father?"Mike looks baffled. "You…why not?""I can get you internships, meetings. I can make it all a thousand times easier. But-""But they'll see Harvey Specter's son," Mike says, sitting back and there's a sudden heaviness to him, the knowledge of what that would mean creeping over him until his head almost bows with it all."Or," Harvey says, "I don't. I back off."Mike chews on the edge of his lip, clearly deep in thought. "What do you want?"Hm. "I told you," Harvey said slowly, "I told you I could give you anything you want. And I want so much to…to show you off. To make sure everyone knows how important you are going to be. But…more than that I want you to know it. So…one day I'd like to surprise the shit out of everyone when I introduce the bright young lawyer that everyone's talking about as my son. I want you to be known for being you, not for being mine."Mike blinks and Harvey has a juddering moment of panic because the kid looks like he's on the verge of tears and there are far too many memories in his mind of Mike accusing him of not caring and-The next thing he knows, the kid is flinging himself at Harvey, bending awkwardly to give him a hug. And the kid is almost seventeen and no longer cute and sweet but instead awkward and why is the boy so against sticking his head under water? Because seriously, Harvey can't tell if the kid's hair is so much darker suddenly because he's dyed it or because he just is against washing it."You are the best!" Mike whispers in his ear. He pulls back and looks down at Harvey. "I want to do it myself."That seems…not so much of a failure, Harvey thinks as he watches the boy practically skip back to his room and then come tearing back to pick up the letter.And then come tearing back for a third time."Not happening," Harvey said as he lifts the other beer off the table and away from his son's hands."Could be practise for college," Mike tries."Nope."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“As I recall,” Ms Fraiser said, looking down her nose where her glasses precariously perch, “you begged not to be moved grades and yet here you are asking to be moved up a year.”Yeah, Mike thought, and I can recall you arguing against it. Every. Single. Word.“It doesn’t feel as much of a jump now,” Mike argued. “I’m older. More mature.” And so fucking bored. “I think-”“No.”He sat still and stared at her. At her grey sweater and the really annoying broach on it and how is she refusing this?“But-”“Michael,” she said, sitting forward a little. “You were given sophomore work when you got here. And were at senior level last year. We have given you research projects, forced you into doing group work and banned you from doing all the research for it to learn other skills. You have been given private time with every member of staff and therefore had expertise in most subjects known to man.”“So I should just sit around on my ass all day?” Mike snapped.“No. Go to college.”Oh.He can’t go to college. At sixteen, Mike can’t go because…he doesn’t know how to do washing or how to cook or how to have sex and even shaving is a bit touch and go sometimes and he doesn’t want to drive or leave home or-“You honestly hadn’t considered it?” Ms Fraiser asked. Slowly, Mike shook his head. “Do.”XxxHe’s called the number about ten times since he got it. More often, he texts Donna to ask about Harvey’s calendar and to once try and arrange a surprise that went badly wrong.“How urgent is it?” Donna asked as she answered.“Not?” Mike admitted. “But…does he have a lunch break? Or coffee? I can meet him in the lobby.”“You’ll be killed if you go to the lobby.”Bit dramatic. Maybe. Probably. Mike isn’t actually all that sure. “Can I just talk to him?”“May I ask what this is about?” Donna asked in that standard secretary voice that she has.“Should I go to college?”There’s a pause. “No,” Harvey replied and holly shit has he always listened in on their phone calls because…Mike has complained on those. Often and a lot. “Why are you even asking that?”“The school thinks-”There was a muttered curse and Mike winced because…well…like he appreciated the fact that Ms Fraiser was being honest with him and now Harvey is probably going to sue the shit out of them. “Don’t be a lawyer about it,” Mike yelped. “I just…I don’t know how to do washing.”“Joy can be at three,” Donna’s voice said softly.“Really?” Harvey complained but there’s a defeated sigh to his voice that Mike takes as a personal victory. “Do you know how to do washing?” Mike asked.“Ooh, interesting. Let’s wait for that answer,” Donna said.Harvey’s annoyed face is present, even on the phone. “You at school?”“Yeah. They changed the cell phone policy just for me. I’m actually in calculus right now-”“Cut the sarcasm.”“No, I’m not at school. I just got told I’ve done school. I’ve done two years of college according to most of the teachers. How can I do that if I can’t do washing?”There’s nothing on the other end and Mike paused. He can’t even hear the cackle of the other end and-They hung up on him.They actually hung up on him.XxxIt’s the first time that Mike wonders if Harvey has had him bugged or tailed or something because Harvey finds him pretty easy.He’s wearing his suit and his hair is gelled so thick that it might be three times darker than it is without that stuff and sometimes, when Harvey is still switching between work and home, he looks a little like the world isn’t quite shiny enough for him and it’s somehow the fault of whoever is in front of him.Which, today, is unfortunately Mike.“You’re freaking out,” Harvey said in lieu of greeting as he came closer.“I can’t go to college,” Mike complained. “I…I haven’t had sex or got drunk or stoned. I haven’t stayed out all night or even gone to a party with alcohol.”Harvey stared at him. “You do know you can go to college without moving out, right?”Oh.Awkward Mike shifted and then sat on the bench next to him. “Is that college though?” he asked, peering up.Harvey eyed the bench in some distaste and so remained standing. There’s a coffee cup in his hand and Mike tries to reach for it, but Harvey just batts his hand away.“It’s a place to learn, not a place for you to recreate every teen movie of the nineties,” Harvey muttered. “Always go with the classics,” Mike muttered absently as he looked away across the park. “I just…I’ll be the weirdo again. The kid who’s too smart.”Harvey hummed at that. “Go to a good college then,” he said, almost carelessly. “You’ll have some competition. Finally.”It snapped a laugh out of Mike and he shook his head. “I like my life,” he mumbled, watching some kids play, wobbling as they ran around close to a picnic blanket where their parents sat. And yeah, that wasn’t his life, but it was still damn good what he had.Harvey huffed and then handed him the coffee. Surprised, Mike took a sip and waited cautiously. “It won’t change this,” Harvey said after a while, as if he’d had some debate with himself. “The older you get, the better we get. I promise you kid, it might change some things, but you and me? Not a chance.”Chewing on his lip, Mike nodded slowly and then yelped when Harvey stole back the coffee. “I thought you were giving it to me. To have.”“And that was stupid,” Harvey said, standing up. “That’s why you should go to college.”XxxMike knew exactly what he was doing. He still did it. He ordered brochures from places on the other side of the country and left them on the coffee table, just to see what Harvey would do.It was Gordon who bit first.“Stanford?” Gordon asked, picking the brochure up. “Stanford?” His voice got even louder. “Why the hell is there a brochure for Stanford?”“It’s a college,” Mike said around the highlighter that he was mainly using just to fuck with them both. “It’s a good college.”Gordon stared at him and then over at Harvey who seemed to have literally just turned up to say he’d been home and was half out the door again. “Did you know he’d done this?”Annoyingly, Harvey seemed supremely bored. “He panicked about washing his clothes a week ago,” Harvey said fiddling with a cufflink. “Maybe I’m looking at transfer options,” Mike argued.“Maybe you’re just being a contentious little shit,” Harvey offered, sniffing as he slipped on his jacket again.“Day in the life of being your son,” Mike called as Harvey moved to the door.All he got in response was a hand batting at him as if he were a toddler having a tantrum.“What about Oxford or Cambridge?” Mike asked, turning to study Gordon’s face as the door closed behind Harvey“Yeah, even I’m not buying that one,” Gordon said, easing himself down on top of the sofa.XxxIt’s kind of annoying really because, of all the things that interest Mike the one that he wants to do, desperately, is the one that looks like he’s doing it to sort of become a mini-Harvey.Pre-Law. He loves it. He loves the interpretations, the wording. Once they had a lesson about Macbeth and equivocation and Mike had gone full geek mode and yeah, that hadn’t been his coolest moment but he hadn’t even cared. The idea of lying but not lying… It was like a superpower. Not that he would ever say that to Harvey because his father’s ego barely needed any help. The man already made enough Batman comments that Mike was pretty convinced Harvey would wear a cape if Tom Ford brought out a fall line.But Harvey, when they talk about it, doesn’t mock. Well…it’s like manageable and fun and so Mike doesn’t care and there’s a moment, just a moment when he thinks about being a kid and making a silly promise to himself that one day he was going to work with Harvey.And he thinks that maybe, just maybe, they might make a good team. If Harvey would you know…let him have a beer once in a while.XxxThe first day of college sucks.Majorly.Not because of the work. The teachers at school were right, Mike could sleep through the lecture and still pass, but because well-Okay. So there’s someone else who’s better than him. And it sucks.Harvey just sniggers when he get home. Even Gordon is trying to hide a smile with a bottle of beer.“You don’t understand,” Mike whines. “Do you know what it’s like to be the best and then come second?”Harvey glanced over. “Coming second,” he said, as if the idea was foreign. “Second? No, no idea.”“That’s not helpful,” Mike complained. “It’s my first day. Be more helpful.”“Do you remember on Mike’s first day at his new school where I sat with the principal for three hours to explain why he’d been expelled and why they should give him a chance?” Harvey asked Gordon.“Vaguely,” Gordon replied. “You never bring it up.” He looked over at Mike. “Deal with it, kid. It’s a good learning curve to come second.”“For a while,” Harvey chipped in.Gordon glanced heavenwards for a moment. “Everything has come easily to you. In academics,” Gordon added when Mike opened his mouth to contradict him. “Having an opponent or two will be good for you.”“One opponent,” Harvey corrected.“He’s right,” Gordon sighed. “You are not being helpful.”XxxFor the next class, Mike worked. Hard. Read and read and read and-Second.Again.And again.And again.XxxTwo months later, Mike stumbled home.Very, very drunk.“It’s like the law,” Mike complained when Harvey dumped him in his bed.“It’s the opposite of the law,” Harvey sighed, starting on Mike’s sneakers. “The law of college.” Mike watched him and settled into his pillow. “I didn’t do a sex though,” he offers.Harvey paused and his shoulders moved weirdly as he slid Mike’s sneaker off and wrinkled his nose at the smell. “Jesus, kid. Soap and water. I’m telling you.”“I hate her.”“I know,” Harvey offered with a smile as he tossed the sneaker away and then started on the other one after a moment’s hesitation. “But she’s not doing pre-law. You overlap one class.”“She doesn’t drink though,” Mike mourned. “I could have beaten her at drinking.”“Sure,” Harvey said doubtfully, standing and Mike wriggled his toes, grinning at the sight. He paused, looking down at Mike. “You look like you had fun,” he said eventually.Mike nodded. “And I managed to be sick in a plant pot. I win at that.” He flopped backwards. “You have no idea what it’s like to be beaten by a girl.”“A girl you like?”Well duh! Mike lifted his head and glared. “Of course I like her. She argued with me for ten minutes today. Ten minutes. And I lost.”Harvey, when Mike managed to open an eye and check the room had stopped spinning, was smiling. “Scottie beat me,” Harvey admitted quietly, sitting on the edge of Mike’s bed.Say what now? Interested, Mike wrestled himself back up into a seated position. “Scottie? Smoking hot Scottie?”“Pretty sure it gets weirder as you get older,” Harvey murmured. “But yeah. She’s doing well. I’m doing better.”“Because you’re you and you always think you’re doing better?”Harvey smiled at that. “It’s easier for me,” he allowed. “But in the world of work…being the smartest in the room isn’t always a sign that you’ll win.” He narrowed his eyes at Mike and then shook his head. “And this is not something it’s worth talking about now.”Probably not. “Hey, do you think this is like a thing,” he said, waving his hand between them, “clever people?”Harvey rolled his eyes. “Get some sleep. Dad will come in with the saucepans tomorrow morning and try to play you a song.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mike’s at home reading when there’s a knock at the door.It’s not a delivery guy and they haven’t ordered anything that Mike’s aware of and getting up to answer the door seems like way too much effort for nowhere near enough reward.Except…except that day when Harvey had sent some intern home with paperwork and Mike hadn’t let her in and that had so not been worth it.Huffing, Mike stood and then stared down at the books that were almost forming his own blanket. No-one at college ever needed to know this because it was like the picture of being uncool.Shuffling over to the door where another knock was ringing out, Mike yanked it open.A blond haired woman stood in the doorway, her hand still open and flat from where she’d been banging on the wood and she drops her arm in shock. “Charlie?”Oh.He hates it when his mind does this. It takes him less than a second to realise that the woman has his eyes or rather, he has hers and dimly he knows he’s staring because her hair is a little brassy in the light of the hallway and the make-up a little on the heavy side and the clothes are cheap and none of that matters except Harvey must have had sex with this woman and she so doesn’t seem like his type.“Are you Charlie?” she asks, her voice softening because they both know the answer to that.“I…” Mike looked back at the apartment like there might be something helpful in there. But Gordon and Harvey don’t miraculously appear and so he’s on his own. “Mike,” he says, looking back at her. “My name is Mike. Now.”“Oh,” she says and she seems sad. “I…I’m Laura. I’m-”He can’t bear to hear her say it. “Yeah,” he says, cutting across her because Nina Ross was his mom and no-one is taking that title away from her. “Harvey…he’d told me.”Laura nods and something in her expression twists as if frustrated, but she doesn’t push it. “I’m sorry,” she says eventually, “I guess this wasn’t what you planned on tonight. But…” she stares at him, drinking him in it almost seems. “I didn’t know that you lived with him.”Mike shifted and then sighed and stepped aside, giving an unspoken invitation for Laura to enter the apartment. He turned away from her, needing a moment of not looking at her and instead cast his gaze around the main room again, seeing it in new eyes.It’s unnerving how much he can see of himself in her. There was the table in the kitchen area where they would all eat together and there was a newspaper left and Harvey’s pen where he’d left it after scrawling his signature over some paperwork. The sink was pretty empty apart from a few cups because none of them really ever cooked unless it was steak and then Harvey and Gordon fought over it.Beyond that was the two sofas, one covered with his school work and he hesitated as Laura looked around, her gaze pausing on the books.“Is this…school work?”“College,” Mike corrects and then shrugs when she looks startled. “I went a year early.” He shoves at the books, not really thinking to sit on the sofa without the books because somehow they offer some protection or safety. She nods and then they sit there.Silent.“You…you were looking for Harvey?”Laura stares at him and then around the room. “He,” she sighs and shakes her head. “I though that he’d had you adopted?” she asks, suddenly blunt.“He did,” Mike replies and then it’s awkward again. “My…um…my parents died,” he says and the phrasing is deliberate. “Harvey found me.”You didn’t, he wants to say.Somehow, he thinks that she hears it anyway.“I should go,” Laura says suddenly, looking away. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…you’re happy?”Mike nods, and dimly he knows that this might be the only time he sees this woman and there should be questions but he’s too stunned by the fact that this is happening. Part of him is expecting to wake up and laugh at this stupid dream he’s just had. The door goes.The only though that blasts through Mike’s head is ‘not Harvey, please god, not Harvey’.It’s Gordon.Somehow, Mike’s on his feet and Gordon must have sensed the movement and he pauses at the door and his gaze darts between Mike and Laura once in a sort of amused confusion and then his face freezes as he realises exactly who Mike is sat with.Laura stands slowly and her shoulders curl in. “I didn’t know he was here,” she defends. “I was looking for Harvey.”“Were you?” Gordon snaps out like he’s hitting her with a lash and Mike stares at him stunned before he looks down at the books because they sometimes help.Mike can feel Laura’s gaze on him and he studiously avoids looking at either of them. “Well, I can see how I’ve been remembered,” Laura says and she sounds mad but Mike can hear a wobble of something else in her voice that makes him want to squirm.“You haven’t been remembered at all,” Gordon snaps. “Are you all right?” he asks Mike as if Laura might have been secretly torturing him or something.“Yeah,” Mike says, looking over at Gordon. “Why were you looking for Harvey?” he asks Laura suddenly.“I-”“Go,” Gordon orders her and Mike blinks, not really sure what universe he’s stumbled into because he expects this from Harvey, not Gordon.Laura looks like she’ll say something, but she sighs and nods. She opens her mouth as if to say something but Gordon glares threateningly and she nods again, walking to the door.And then she’s gone. And it’s as simple as shutting a door and there’s something terrifying about that.Gordon looks so tense, Mike thinks that he might shake apart. “Are you all right?” Gordon asks again.“Yeah,” Mike says, shaking himself and gathering up his books, more for something to do than because it needs to be done. “Mike.”He ignores Gordon and continues to gather everything up, right to the point where Gordon grabs his wrist and stops him.“I don’t know,” Mike admits, baffled. “I just…” he looks at the door and he’s not used to his brain working this slow. “I thought it was one of the interns that Harvey sends over.”Gordon looks unhappy and lets Mike pull away. “I’ll call Harvey,” he says, smiling weakly. “Then we’ll talk. Just…breathe.”Mike nods, and watched as Gordon heads to his room, phone in hand and then feels his own gaze slide to the door.That was Laura. The woman who kept him, the woman who found it too hard to raise a baby, who gave him to Harvey and came back looking for him.Who is now walking out without any contact details.He’s out of the apartment before he thinks about it, closing the door softly behind him.Outside, it’s the edge of summer and still light despite the fact that they’re firmly into the evening. And it’s probably too late anyway except-Except she’s standing at the edge of a building, smoking and looking shaken.“Laura?”It startles her and she swears and blinks at him in disbelief. “Charlie?”“Mike,” he corrects, shifting awkwardly. “I…” he looks towards the entrance, all too aware that Harvey is probably gonna storm home any second now and that’s a bad idea for everyone involved, especially if she’s still around. “This is weird,” he says. “But…I don’t know how to contact you.”Something crosses her face and he isn’t sure what it is but he watches the cigarette burn and she seems to have forgotten about it.“I don’t know…about…” he gestures between them. “But… I think I want to be able to contact you. Maybe. Once this…” he gestures at his head, “makes sense. Or sinks in. I think I might have questions. If…” he shrugs. “If that’s okay?”Laura nods slowly and then more firmly. “Mike,” she says, as if testing the word. “That’s okay.”XxxWhen he gets back upstairs, Gordon is stood with his arms folded looking pissed. “Don’t,” Mike says, putting his keys in the pot. “You went after her?”Mike works his jaw, and then lifts his chin in the way that he knows Harvey hates. “Yeah. It’s the only chance I’ve had to…meet her.”“You’ve never seemed interested.”“You’ve never seemed interested in me being interested.” Mike headed in and slumped into a chair, half sure it would be easier to go to his room and slam the door but also wanting to be with his family and not completely alone. “Did you get hold of Harvey?”Gordon nods. “Apparently her new husband has some legal trouble. She tried to get into the firm last week to talk to him.”What?“He’ll take care of it,” Gordon said, nodding to himself. Right.XxxHe fakes being asleep when Harvey gets back. He’s not sure it’s convincing, but Harvey lets him pretend if he suspects. XxxThe next morning he tries to sneak out, but that goes as well as you’d expect because Harvey is sat at the table, dressed for business and flicking through something on the laptop with his coffee on the side.His father pauses and watches him for a few seconds. “You ready to talk now?”No.“Depends on what you say,” Mike offered quietly, skulking by the couch. Harvey’s brown eyes are fixated on him now and he closes the laptop which is like the kiss of death in Mike’s experience. “I didn’t think she’d come here.”Mike nods slowly. “Gordon said that she wanted legal advice.”Harvey actually looks amused by that. “You’re gonna help her though, right?”There are probably about seven times in his life where Harvey has actually laughed at him. This is the worst.“I’m not helping her,” Harvey actually sneers. “I wouldn’t help her if I was stood by a tap and she was on fire. And I told her that before I had her removed from my office.”Mike stares at him. The woman last night was hesitant, quiet, almost looking hopeless. And she’d been so stunned that he was there.“She tell you that she has a new family?” Harvey presses, sitting back a little and he’s watching Mike like he’s some science experiment that his grades depend upon. “A husband. Three kids.”There’s…something. Mike thinks that Harvey’s more upset by that than he is and Mike shrugs, not really knowing what to say to that because people move on and have kids.Everyone except Harvey though whether that’s because he refuses to go back to something that he failed at it the first time around or just plain hates kids is anyone’s guess.“She seemed okay,” Mike mumbled.There’s a quiet tapping noise and Mike watches as Harvey drums his fingers on the table. “What did she say to you?”“Nothing,” Mike says and then rolls his eyes when Harvey pulls a doubtful expression. “We barely spoke. We were both…surprised. What do you say to the woman who walked out on you?”“Fuck off,” Harvey suggests frankly. “She should have walked away the second she saw you.”Mike blinks, “Thanks,” he snaps.Harvey looks confused. “What like that’s just all I get? A mom who walks away every time I’m in her vicinity.”“A mom?” Harvey barks at him, standing up. “That is not your mom, kid. That’s a selfish bitch who walked out of an apartment and left you in it. Alone.”The world seems to screech to a stop.She…What?“So if you think for one second that I would help her then you’re an idiot, kid. She left my son in an apartment and never came back. She smoked and did drugs with you in that apartment. That dipshit husband of hers shoved her while she was pregnant with you. They deserve all they get.”Mike stares and there’s a dim roaring noise in his ears and it’s the stupidest feeling in the world, but he kind of feels like it’s the first day of foster home again.“Mike…” Harvey sounds weird but he’s gotten up at some point. “I…” and then he’s hugging Mike and Mike just lets it happen, still feeling far too…distant to deal with any of it. Something’s shaking loose within him and Mike isn’t sure what it is, but something isn’t right because usually he feels annoyed and secretly pleased when Harvey hugs him but he just feels…like something’s crawling in his skin.Laura left him alone in an apartment. Was apparently unfit and it’s not a shock but there’s something…“Where were you?”Harvey freezes and pulls away, his jaw clenching. “What?”“Where were you?” Mike asks and there’s something thudding wildly against his ribs. “If it was that bad. What were you doing?”Harvey stares at him and his breathing is harsh and heavy and Mike knows that this is…this is dangerous territory because Harvey knows he fucked up.And Harvey never deals with that well.But it’s a wild weird out of body experience because Mike can’t stop now, even though a panicked voice in his head screams out to stop. “You were both shit,” he snaps. “That’s…so you just left me there. With them while they were high and shoving at each other. Why didn’t she just go while you had me?”Harvey is pulling back even more and it’s a spring coiling, reading to snap back.“So where were you? Because you hate kids. You don’t even like them. If Mom and Dad had died when I’d been really little, you’d have just found a reason to toss me back-”“You think social services came knocking at my door?” Harvey snarls. “I tracked you down so don’t you dare-”“How? What you just randomly woke up one day-”“No. James…” Harvey trails off and then seems to consider something. “You know what, yeah, let’s go there. You want to pretend that I’m the bad guy here, kid? Because I gave James Ross money every month since you were six to help him out because he was so shitty with his finances. I fought social services, fought for an amendment to your adoption that nearly fucked me over. So don’t you dare stand there and claim-”“That’s a lie,” Mike hisses and that panic is becoming wild. “That’s…my Dad was way more careful then you.”“Your Dad was a fuckup.”Mike shoves at him. More to get him to be quiet but Harvey catches his hands and holds him firm. “Don’t you fucking dare,” Harvey snarls at him.“Or what?” Mike dares.Harvey stares at him and then looks away, looks around the flat and he doesn’t change, but something seems to flee from him. Some emotion or thought and Harvey very carefully unwraps his hands from Mike’s wrists and then looks past him.“Stay away from her,” Harvey orders, flicking his gaze back down to Mike. He turns and starts to gather up his things with a forced calm because Mike can almost count how long it takes Harvey to breath in and out.“I got her contact details.”Harvey slams down the laptop so hard that Mike waits for the thing to break apart.“Go to school,” Harvey orders again, his voice tight.Yeah. “Don’t wait up,” Mike suggests with a sneer.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So how long is this going to go on for?”Mike rolls his eyes and sits back. The coffee shop is quiet and calm and he’s tried to build a book fort to keep out anyone who dares get close (which apparently hasn’t worked).“Dunno,” Mike mutters to the page. “How long do you think it will take Harvey to stop being a dick?”Gordon glares at him as he sits down opposite. “Runs in the family,” he warns, eyes narrowing. “You haven’t been home for five days.”Mike rolls his head back, wincing as his neck creaks in protest. “I’m not going home.”“Christ, you really are like your father,” Gordon complains, leaning forward. “Mike…you haven’t been home.” He stares at Mike, his gaze searching. “Are you okay?”The softness in his tone makes Mike look away, jaw clenching. He nods once, not really sure if it’s true, but needing to ensure that Gordon isn’t gonna go running back to Harvey to report that there’s a weakness.And Gordon seems to know that. “Have you spoken to Laura?”No. But Mike stares at Gordon, chin tilted. “What if I have?”Gordon snorts. “You haven’t,” he decides, sitting back a little, his pose a little like Harvey’s when he’s sensing a win, which so doesn’t help Mike’s mood. “Harvey shouldn’t have said what he did.”“Like it’s news that everyone basically treated me like a hot potato,” Mike snaps. Gordon closes his eyes and looks away. “That’s unfair,” he says quietly. “And you know it is. Giving you up-”Mike yawns. Pointedly. And it’s a bitch move, but he doesn’t give a shit. And it makes Gordon’s jaw tick with fury. But then he stands and Mike feels something sink even as there’s the burn of a hollow triumph in his belly.“Holding grudges is petty,” Gordon tells him, leaning down. “You know that we love you. You know how hard it was for Harvey to give you up and you know what Laura put him through by leaving him alone with that responsibility. This is beneath you, Mike.” He reaches down for his coffee and glares. “And you might not think this, but you have hurt him.”Mike looks up, steeling himself. “Yeah, but then I didn’t tell him his Dad was a fuck up.”Gordon doesn’t even flinch. “You might want to think about which Dad he was talking about.”XxxMike gets back to Frank’s with milk because it’s kinda a rule that if you’re crashing in someone’s dorm, you probably should bring them something and beers kinda hard to come by when you’re the youngest person at the school.“You okay?” Frank asks from his bed where he’s watching something on his laptop. “Yeah. Just…bumped into my grandfather,” Mike mumbles, slumping into the desk chair. The pile of bedding in the corner looks as uncomfortable as it is.“Bumped into him at a campus coffee shop?” Frank asks doubtfully.Mike huffs. “I…shut up.” He spins from side to side for a few seconds, feeling aimless. “Are we still going out tonight.”“Need some way to deal with you snoring on the floor,” Frank says, grinning.Xxx Mike gets drunk. So drunk.And again the next night. And again then night after that.“Hi Gordon. Grandad. Grandpa…huh.” He squints at the sidewalk ahead. “Have we ever agreed what we’d call you? Anyway,” he says, wobbling and then steadying himself. “Anyway. I just wanted to ask. Grandfather sounds shitty. Like you’re Victorian or something. And you’re old, but not that old.” He stumbles for a moment and catches himself. “But like…it’s late, isn’t it?” He lowers his phone and stares at the time which fuzzily reads 3.45am. “Whoa. That’s late. Anyway. What were we talking about?” he stops and stares up at the sky. “Grandpa, I’m gonna go throw up.”XxxHe wakes up to a text.
Drinking is not studying, Mike. Stop destroying your brain cells. And learn to hang up the phone when you puke. Grandpa xxx
XxxWhich leaves Harvey.And Mike stays in the next night, thinking about it all. There’s been radio silence from the man which is shit because Harvey’s the one who needs to apologise and he’s the grown-up, but Harvey is more concerned with winning than anything else and that hurts.So when Mike calls someone, it’s not Harvey. It’s Laura.XxxShe meets him during the day and he sacks off a lecture to go meet her. She’s sitting curled around a herbal tea and her hair is piled up in a messy bun and he has a moment to wonder what her natural colour is. She looks more like someone’s mom today.She is someone’s mom. Harvey said that she has three kids and Mike isn’t sure how he feels about it.“You said that you wanted answers?”Mike nods and wishes that he’d bought a drink to have something to do with his hands. “You left,” he says and that’s all he can say.But Laura nods and seems to understand all that those two words mean. “My parents…my Dad was never around and my mom was never there either. My grandparents had money and used to chuck money at things to fix problems. I told them I was pregnant, they offered me money for an apartment. But not one member of my family came to the hospital when you were born.” She smiled sadly at the table. “And Harvey…” she hesitated and looked up at him. “He pushes. He pushed too much.”It’s…a logical story. There’s no real emotion there though and Mike can’t help but think of Harvey shouting those things at him as if that was better…which…Was it?“Did you ever think about me?”Laura nods slowly. “When I got pregnant again. I went to find Harvey and you and he told me he’d had you adopted. We fought but…we weren’t good parents, Mike. You were better off with your Mom and Dad.”He agrees. Logically, he agrees. Again. But there’s a look that Harvey tries to hide whenever they talk about the adoption and she doesn’t have that look.“Harvey said that you’d remarried,” Mike says, trying for conversation even if it doesn’t feel like it’s going to work. “My boyfriend at the time. Harvey was…” Laura winces. “Bookended, I guess. We’ve been together for eighteen years now. We have a thirteen year old and a three year old.”“Harvey said you had three kids,” Mike asks.“I…” Laura swallows. “There was another child. A girl but she was born with medical problems. Her heart was…” Her eyes fill with tears. “She died when she was two months old. We called her Grace.”Grace. He should have had a sister called Grace. Or did. Or…he squirms, not really sure how he wants to see Laura.“You went to Harvey for legal help?”She laughs. “A fools errand,” she says, wiping her eyes. “I just…it’s was a last hope. My husband works for a man called Frederickson and is…being scapegoated. We can’t afford a good lawyer.”“I thought you had grandparents who-”“Gave their money to my cousins who do not share well?” Laura asks and Mike can suddenly hear himself in her voice which is creepy. “I’m gonna guess Harvey wasn’t pleased when he found out I was at the apartment?”“No,” Mike agrees, drawing in a breath. “We fought.”Laura winces. “I’m sorry that you’ve argued. It wasn’t my intention.”“Yeah,” Mike says, not really sure what else to say. “Um…thanks, I guess.”She looks surprised. “That’s it?” she asks, as if a little baffled.“I…yeah. I think so. Maybe. I don’t…” Mike shifts back into the seat. “My head’s all over the place.”She watches him and then nods. “Well…if you want to meet again, it’s fine. Just let me know.”He smiles weakly, really not sure how he feels.XxxxIt’s three days more before he goes home. He’s hung over, but pretty sure that it isn’t obvious. He had a shower at Frank’s and he’s soaked up the alcohol with left over pizza. He keeps his headphones in, not quite ready to talk but he leaves the music quiet and his stomach churns a little as he opens the door.There’s a weird smell and he heads for the fridge automatically, both to find food and because it smells like something is rotten. There’s nothing obvious, but Mike grabs some cheese that probably costs more than his weekly shopping and turns.There’s a foot on the arm of the couch.“Gordon?” Mike asked, pulling his headphones out. “You awake? I’m home.”It’s a weird time for him to still be asleep, but Gordon’s pretty old so-As his face comes into view, Mike stops.He’s pale but there are patches of discolouration. And there’s an obvious adjective for it, but Mike doesn’t want to think about what it is because that’s too much like an admittance. The man is completely still on the couch and Mike steps closer like he’s walking through treacle. When he touches Gordon’s hand it’s cold and rigid.He did this in biology, his mind races. Pallor Mortis, Algor Mortis, Rigor mortis. Mortis from the latin, ‘of death’. Mike hasn’t been home over a week. But he’d figured Harvey was coming home which was kinda the whole reason why he’s avoided coming home.You make an ass out of you and me when you assume.Gordon’s face and stomach looks bigger than usual. Putrefaction, Mike’s mind frustratingly supplies.Slowly, he dug into his pocket, eyes fixed on Gordon as he dialled.“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”“Ambulance,” Mike said and then took a breath, his voice sounding weird. “My grandfather…he’s cold and pale and-” he swallowed tightly. “I think he’s dead.”“Okay,” the woman on the other end of the line say, suddenly sounding much more paced. “I need you to be brave and check for a pulse and check he’s breathing. And you need to give me your address.”He isn’t breathing. But Mike nods, and does as he was told while putting her on speakerphone.“I…he’s been dead a few days,” he says. “I haven’t been home in over a week. I though Harvey was at home and…” It’s suddenly a struggle to breath.“How old are you?” she asks.“Eighteen,” Mike replies, his mind whirling.“I’ve sent EMTs,” the woman says gently. “What’s your name?”“Mike.”“Mike. There are people on their way and they are going to help you. Do you understand?”Mike nods and then “Yes,” he says, realising that she couldn’t see him nod.“Is it just you and your grandfather?”“My Dad,” Mike replies. And he backs away from the body, to lean against the arm of the chair. “He’s at work. He must have…I don’t know.” He sucks in a breath and there’s a cold shiver down his spine. “I have to tell him.”“Wait until someone gets to you,” the woman says. “And-”“Thanks,” Mike said and his voice still doesn’t sound like it’s his own. “I need to…thank you.” He hangs up even as she tried to talk to him and then stares at his cell phone before raising it to his ear.Donna answers on the fourth ring. “You had better be phoning with a better attitude,” she starts to scold.He doesn’t know how to respond. But his brain has been asked a question and it just sort of like…takes over. “Um…I…I….” He’s slightly aware that his voice sounds like it’s something that he’s borrowed for the day. His mind can’t quite work at it properly and suddenly responding to her seems like the hardest thing in the world.“Mike?” she asks, sounding suddenly concerned. “Are you okay?”He shakes his head as if she’s gonna see that and stares at the body. It’s surreal and, he doesn’t know what to do even if his brain is continuing to race on ahead. Stupid facts about decomposition and statistics about what can kill a man Gordon’s age and-“Mike?” Donna asks again and she sounds really worried now. “Gordon died.” He looks over at the door and then back, as if someone that might change what happened. “There are EMTs on their way.”She sucks in a breath and he can almost picture her, standing at the desk he once saw. Back when Harvey cared and took him to the office and told Mike that he’d hand over the world if he could. “You’re at the apartment? Alone with him?”“Yes.” A wave of nausea is building and he tries to swallow it down. “I feel sick,” he confesses, bending his head a little.“Go and get a glass of water,” she says and she sounds suddenly so in control that he wants to cry. “Put me on speaker phone. Go. Now.”He walks past the body-The thought makes him wobble as he walks and nearly lose his footing. He’s seen it in bio class, what happens to a carcass of a pig, left in the grass with a camera over it. If Mike had been out for a full week. Or a month.“Mike,” Donna’s voice echoes again. “Turn the tap on and fill a glass.”He does as he’s told, trying not to think and ends up vomiting into the sink. There isn’t much and he can’t tell if it’s shock or just a delayed reaction to the alcohol and cold pizza.“Have another glass of water,” Donna insists.He does. And turns on the tap to watch as slowly, it removes most of the sick. When he turns back, he can still see the shoe on the couch and the cheese that he’d been eating and at some point must have dropped to the floor.Cold washes over him, like he’s being painted by an ice-cube. And there’s a horrible flash that isn’t memory but is the image that he put together from the bits and pieces he was told six years ago. Because Grammy had been in the back of the car on the side of impact and she’d been thrown forward, breaking his Dad’s neck.And, as he looks across the room, he can almost see three gurneys carrying the dead bodies from that night too. All pale. All stiff. All being destroyed as their bodies slowly begin to rot.They’re just bone now.“Mike?” the voice sounds like it’s been calling him for a while. “Mike?”“Yeah?” Mike asks, lifting the phone to his ear, not really sure what was happening.“I’m going to find Harvey,” Donna says urgently. “We’ll be there. You said the EMTs are coming?”Mike nods. “Okay.”“Mike-”He ends the call.Strangely, he finds himself drifting closer to Gordon until he sits by him, legs crossed and holding the hand that splays out towards the floor, like he left it there for Mike. It’s cold, but it’s still him and it’s more than Mike had last time.“Wake up,” he whispers.It’s stupid. He doesn’t expect anything. Knows it doesn’t work like that. But, if anyone could, it would be his Grandpa.XxxThe EMTs arrive…later. He doesn’t know when. Just later. It’s like a dream as he opens the door and someone sits him back in a chair and speaks to him while another checks on Gordon, even though he thinks that they confirm at just sight that he’s dead.He doesn’t really respond…or feel the depth of any response. A key in the door startles him and he almost thinks it might be Gordon because it’s far too early to be Harvey, but it is. And Donna is with him and she comes over and sits on the arm of the chair and Mike leans into her, as the first sobs start to finally break free.He has no idea what Harvey does.XxxIt’s a blur.Everything is quiet and still and by the time Mike just about manages to think of something other than Gordon’s puffed, bloated, discoloured face, Marcus is there and everyone’s sad. The idea of even starting to talk about anything else feels like placing his feet onto fractured ice. He doesn’t dare even try. Can’t take another blow, especially now that Gordon isn’t-The thought makes him sob again and he curls up, trying to mourn quietly and unobtrusively. Harvey still feels like he’s a million miles away, like there’s some unapproachable distance to cover and Mike hasn’t got a clue how to tackle it.The funeral is back in Riverside where the old house is and they’re putting it up for sale and Mike isn’t certain what to say when people come up and talk to him. The whole thing feels like that strange time in between being asleep and awake. Some tell him funny stories, or how proud Gordon was of his family. Some look too uncomfortable, or eye him up in a way that makes Mike wonder just how difficult he once was and if Gordon told them all that he wasn’t always such a little shit.He ends up sitting away from the main wake with Sophie who’s four now and she knows enough that she’s meant to be sad, but she also likes colouring in and telling Mike off when he goes out of the lines, so he just indulges her, feeling a little lighter when she giggles.When she tires of it, they curl up together and Mike reads her stories from memory. She watches him with Harvey’s golden-brown eyes and he wishes for a moment that he looked more like the Specter family than the woman who stared at him across a table in a coffee shop, politely curious. “It’s an impressive skill,” Kate says when she finds them later. “Can you do it with any book that you’ve read?”Mike nods, feeling exhausted. “Are you okay?” he asks, pointing at her bump.She nods, hand resting on it. “Marcus is sad,” he admits as she sits down on the bed with them, a hand reaching out to stroke Sophie’s brown hair. “She’ll barely remember Gordon and this little one won’t even get the chance to meet him.”Strange. Mike sits back, suddenly aware that he will be the only grandchild of Gordon’s that the man had a hand in raising, that will have firm and solid memories of him.It seems important somehow.“Should we come downstairs?”“No,” Kate says, a little too quickly and firmly.“Why?” Mike asks, sitting up.“Don’t,” Kate says, placing a hand on his shoulder and looking at him firmly. “Don’t. Lily turned up.”Shit. “He doesn’t need you downstairs,” Kate says. “And neither does Marcus. Let them…let them say or do what they need to tonight. I’m going to bring some food up and we can stay here and watch some films.” She smiles down at Sophie who blinked at her sleepily. “Aren’t we, pumpkin?”Sophie reaches for her with a small whine and Kate pressed a kiss to her cheek. And Mike feels a jumping kick to his ribs because…Because…Where was someone to soothe him?XxxIn the morning, Marcus and Harvey still aren’t talking, but it’s worse. It’s painfully clear that Harvey is upset and carrying wounds from last night, but Mike still doesn’t know how to tackle this.He wants his Grandpa.The only time they speak is when Harvey orders Mike into the car that came to collect them and Mike hefts his bag over his shoulder, turning to look up at the house.He was a baby in that house. His first hugs from Harvey had happened there, both as Charlie Specter and as Mike Ross. Gordon had hugged him there too. He desperately doesn’t want it sold. And Harvey has enough money to keep it, but for what purpose?“Mike?” Harvey demands. “In.”Kate stood at the doorway, with Sophie pressed against her legs and a deep, unhappy frown pressed into her lips.They didn’t speak in the car. Not because Mike doesn’t want to or because he can’t think of something to say, but because it feels like there’s some sort of forcefield around Harvey and nothing can penetrate it.XxxIn five years’ time, Harvey will tell him that he and Donna took an hour to arrive because Harvey was too busy crying. In two years, Donna will tell him that Mike was in shock that day and that Harvey, after checking on Gordon and a halted conversation with the EMTs went to Mike and held him for the rest of the night, but Mike will tell her that’s bullshit because he never forgets anything.Donna will tell him that what he’s doing is bullshit. Mike will tell her that he learnt from the best.In three years, Marcus will open the door to him and gather him inside, hugging Mike fiercely. And he’ll cook for Mike and it will be the first homecooked meal that he’s had in months. And afterwards, he’ll sneak out of the house to smoke some pot.It’ll take Harvey almost ten years to admit what was said between him, Lily and Marcus. And it’ll be eleven years before Mike ever meets the woman. And Harvey will be moved and Mike will probably be the only member of the family who doesn’t give a shit about this woman that caused his father so much damage.He’ll remember the day that his father talked to him about foster care, the night after Mike and Gordon fought about camping and how he stared at the TV and thought about issues that could be solved in an hour. And he’ll snort because even at fourteen he doesn’t think he’d have believed himself if he’s have said that it would take until he was almost the same age his father was when he reclaimed Mike to be…not fixed because who ever is? But in full trust. Happy with everyone in his life and without any doors being slammed shut in his face.But, as it is, in one month the door will slam shut and Mike will never step foot in their apartment again.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They drift.It’s probably the worst thing. Mike knows that him and Harvey are similar enough that they just butt heads if there’s a problem; Harvey had even practically promised it once. And maybe if they went round two or three they’d push and pull each other into some compromise.But they don’t. For days after the funeral it’s tense and quiet and they both nod at each other and exchange comments like “Is that coffee?’ and ‘I’m out tonight’ and that’s it. Mike spends more time with Frank and, when his room mate drops out, just sort of…takes the bed.It’s three weeks later when Mike realises that he’s practically moved out and Harvey hasn’t said boo about it. Five weeks they’ve been like this.“Did Harvey ever just…ignore you?” Mike asks Laura one afternoon while they sit in a quiet section of the park.She has her youngest with her: Poppy, who has shares their blue eyes and squirms whenever someone tries to hold her. Well…except Mike. They draw trees on paper with crayons and it’s honestly the most soothing thing in the world right now.Laura seems to consider it. “He’d get busy,” she said eventually. “And I think that he genuinely does get busy. It’s just-”“It’s a deliberate busy,” Mike finishes for her with a sigh. “Yeah.”“His father did just die.”And my grandfather, Mike wants to point out, but that seems petty. And he gets it, he does, but it really feels like Harvey is erecting this huge, impenetrable barrier to deal with everything and Mike has no clue how to scale that thing.And, maybe it’s childish, but he also doesn’t feel like he should be the one to do it. Harvey is his dad. Not the other way around.“Did you want lunch?” Mike asks.Laura gets a funny look on her face and shakes her head, looking away. “How’s…stuff?”It draws a small smile out of her. “Stuff is okay,” she says, looking back at him, and there’s something a little false in her smile. “You’re a hit with her,” she adds, watching Poppy fondly. The other child, the other boy, Jason, is thirteen and Mike hasn’t met him yet because…well…that’s a bit more than either of them are ready for. And her husband, Ken, is in with some lawyers at the moment, fighting the assault charge.So, really, Laura saying stuff is fine is pretty much bullshit. But they don’t know each other that well, so Mike thinks he can probably give her a free pass there.Except…He’s awkward as he does it. The envelope feels weird and thick and Laura stares at it, and he knows she knows what it is; she connected those dots as soon as she saw it.“Mike,” she says and she doesn’t sound mad or offended which he was kind of dreading. “I can’t-”“Harvey has lots,” Mike says, shrugging it away. “It’s not…it’s not lots. But it should help, right? Take the pressure off?”Laura stares at it and then shakes her head, her eyes looking a little too bright. “I…It’s too much,” she says again. “Anything is… Mike, of all the people in the world-”“Please,” Mike says, surprising himself at the tone of his voice. “Everything…everything is shit. And I don’t know how to fix it with Harvey but…this? I know it’s not a real fix, but it’s something I can do. Right?”She stares at him for a few more seconds and then looks at Poppy as if weighing something up. And it annoys Mike a little that she isn’t looking at him, but the feeling of doing something, anything is too addictive.Eventually, Laura reaches for the envelope. “I will pay you back,” she promises.Mike just shrugs.XxxHe goes home to pick up a hoodie now that summer is ending and pauses in the doorway when he spots Harvey staring at some book. Ordinarily…well…before everything, Mike would have nudged his way over and bugged Harvey to find out what the book was and gone to get it out of the library himself.Now, he just doesn’t have the energy.“What did you need five hundred dollars for?” Harvey asks without preamble.Stupidly, Mike looks towards Gordon’s door, as if somehow his grandfather is going to step out and show off his referee skills. “Moving stuff,” he lies.“Bullshit.”Mike ducks his head down and then turns to Harvey. And there’s no getting out of this. The man’s spoiling for a fight and suddenly Mike wants it, wants anything that isn’t this weird, polite chit-chat that they keep engaging in.“I gave it to Laura.”Whatever Harvey was expecting to hear, clearly that wasn’t it. His jaw tenses like he’s just clamped down his gut reaction and he flushes a weird colour and for a second all Mike can see is the discoloured, bloated face of Gordon-“Figured it could be like compensation,” Mike practically throws the comment at Harvey.He doesn’t even know why he says it-No. That’s a lie. He knows exactly why he says it. He knows that it will incense Harvey. He’s just not too sure why he wants that reaction.“What did you just say?” Harvey asks and there’s a weird note to his voice.“You heard,” Mike sneers. “I gave it to Laura to compensate her for you being a dick.”Harvey’s mouth opens and nothing comes out. But it’s not because he’s speechless, Mike is pretty sure of that. Instead, it seems to be because he almost can’t settle on what to say, as if he’s holding back and can’t workout the next move because of it.In fact, Mike realises, that’s exactly what he’s doing and Mike hates it.“What’s the difference, right? You gave my dad money?”“Go to bed,” Harvey grounds out.“I don’t live here,” Mike snaps. “Don’t if you noticed that. You know what with barely being in the apartment anyway. No wonder Grandpa was half rotting when-”One minute Harvey’s in the seat and the next he’s in Mike’s space and his stance is like it is just before he throws a punch but he’s coiled up, muscles tight as if he’s putting more energy into not hitting Mike than anything else.“You say that again and you’ll be on the floor,” Harvey promises.Mike tilts his chin and lifts his head in a silent dare. Harvey just stares at him and Mike lets his gaze dip to Harvey’s clenched fist. “That gonna be your version of parenting now that Gordon isn’t around to do it for you?”The first flexes, even raises up in a jolting motion, but drops a little again. And then it opens because Harvey’s going for words rather than his hands. “Maybe if I’d given hitting you when you were a dick a go, he wouldn’t have ended up in the ground quite so quick.”A punch would have been better. It’s what Mike goes for and Harvey blocks it and smacks him.His brain stutters at the action.Harvey hit him.It wasn’t hard. If Harvey wanted, he could knock Mike out and Mike is way too aware of that from watching Harvey box as a kid. But…But…“Well,” Mike says, dabbing the back of his hand to his lip again. It comes away clean, but Harvey doesn’t need to know that. “One thing you can say about Laura is that she never hit me.”“She never fucking tried to raise you,” Harvey replies dully, turning away from Mike and heading for the cupboard with the scotch.Right. Because that’s it, isn’t it. None of them could raise him. Even his mom and dad struggled. Gordon died. Harvey and Laura gave him to other people. Patterns have something in common.Mike turns and marches into his room, grabbing anything that he wants. The hoodie, some shoes. Some books that he needs. He stares at the old tickets from games he’s seen with Harvey and Gordon but-When he walks out of the room, Harvey is sat at the table, his head in his hands and an untouched drink in front of him.“If you think for a second that she’ll take you in, you’re an idiot.” The smell of the brandy is making him feel sick and he’s thirsty and it’s like being in the apartment again with the body. And being alone. And there’s a prickling sensation under his skin, like he needs to stop touching something or just have air or run. And it’s uncomfortable and he wants to scream.“I’m eighteen,” Mike says and his voice is quiet but it sounds like a shout.Slowly, Harvey raises his head and Mike almost laughs because for a second he’d thought the great Harvey Specter was crying. “What you going to do?” Harvey challenges and, for the first time that evening he sounds like himself. “Pay for college?”“I can get a scholarship.”Harvey sits back. “Right. And Harvard? Living costs? Because you might have started out like orphan Annie, but all I see in front of me is a spoiled brat who can’t bear the fact that he’s not the centre of attention at the moment and who is nowhere near equipped for the real world.”“What because I don’t screw people over for money for a living?”“You never complained about where your pocket money came from before,” Harvey points out. “You think you can survive out there? The second you run out of money or life gets too hard, you’ll be back here. You’re just like Laura.”Mike stares at him and then lets a bitter smile tug at his lips. “Well. Let’s find out then, shall we? But honestly, right now? I’d rather step into oncoming traffic than deal with you.”He heads to the door and slams it shut just before the sound of a glass shattering rings out.Fuck him.XxxThe first port of call is getting the scholarship. Harvey’s already paid the semester, but Mike isn’t taking any chances on Harvey’s petty bullshit.Spoiled brat? So Mike works. Hard. And yeah, he loves reading, but he reads until his brain hurts, writes assignments, researches. Ensures study groups. He’s top of his classes by the time the days grows shorter and the weather grows colder.Marcus invites him for Thanksgiving and Mike blows it off. He does the same with Christmas too because he knows full well that while Harvey won’t go, Marcus is so laid back, he’s practically horizontal and Harvey is like a fifty tonne lorry who will just bulldoze through him to get what he wants. Marcus will report back and Mike wants radio silence because it’s the only way he can think of to try and make Harvey come after him rather than the other way around.It’s second year and the start of January when Mike bumps into a familiar face.“Trevor?”It’s like being six again and curling up on the roof of a garage in the sun, peering at bugs and daring each other to see who’ll jump back down to the ground. His best friend from childhood is at college, Mike has a good circle of friends and his grades are at an all time high.Then March hits and, along with it, his nineteenth birthday.He lost his phone and spends most of the day wondering if his Dad called. Or texted. Or sent fog signals or something. Even heads towards that part of the city and sits debating it before he feels pathetic.If he goes back now, Harvey will think he’s crawling back for money again. And as much as he misses Harvey and he can barely admit that to himself because even the thought makes him ache, there is no way he’s going back until he has something behind him, something that he can use to prove to Harvey that he’s not some spoiled rich kid and that he should be taken seriously.But if Harvey comes to him first…It won’t happen, he thinks two weeks after his birthday. It’s been pretty much five months since their fight and there’s no one that can force them together. Marcus is still grieving and has his own family and is way too far away, Donna might be able to wrangle Harvey from time to time, but that’s not consistent and Mike isn’t exactly in her domain at the moment. Mike just ignores it.It’s easy enough in a way. Most people at college are happy to be away from their folks and college is the place to bitch about your family and the rules that you no longer have to keep to. No-one really mentions family except in an anecdote or with annoyance that they might have to clean up because their mom is coming over.Except when June comes around and its father’s day.Father’s day was sort of a thing in their home. Harvey would take Gordon to some gig and Mike, when he got older was allowed to come along. Harvey never wanted anything for Father’s day and Mike, when he was younger, never wanted to give him anything. But even if it wasn’t on the day itself, they’d do something and Mike’s present was to buy hotdogs on the way or go home early so that Gordon and Harvey had some time. He stands staring at the cards in the campus shop for longer than is sane. He’s never bought a father’s day card for Harvey but suddenly not sending one seems like a really loud message.He buys one because he figures he can debate it even more at home. And then heads home-home rather than to the dorm he shares with Frank.A stranger opens the door.It’s been nine months since Gordon died. Eight since the big fight. And Harvey has moved.The man garbles something about a forwarding address and Mike shakes his head, but he’s heard it anyway and that information isn’t going to be forgotten. Aimlessly, he walks , circles closer and closer to the new address and then sits opposite the fancy building for hours.It’s like the worst symbol of how far he needs to climb. The building is huge and Mike imagines that Harvey is probably towards the top of it. There’s a doorman that seems like a guard for the gates and that is one huge mountain to climb to be able to walk in one day and basically tell Harvey he was so wrong and now can they get on with things.Which isn’t the worst place his brain goes to. A sleek car comes along and there’s a couple in it. Mike’s never seen them before in his life, but it makes him wonder. Harvey never had a proper relationship while Mike lived with him (his weird sex relationship with Scottie notwithstanding) and never really went on holiday or anything like that. What if…what if he sees this as duty done. Move on. Mike’s nineteen, a recognised adult in most ways. Harvey has fulfilled his obligation.He knows it’s a thought born from fear, but it’s one that Mike can’t shake. And it’s one that makes him leave, hands in his pockets and head bowed as he tries to work out what to do next because for whatever reason, Harvey isn’t coming to get him. XxxHe’s ahead of his courses, taking extra credit courses and they say that he could be finished with college a year early which will put him two years younger than most when he graduates. He has meetings about options for after graduation and the answer is the same as it was when he was sixteen.Law. Harvard. Which is mind blowingly expensive.XxxSummer hits and Mike finds himself baby sitting Poppy and Jason while Laura is at work and Jason just glares sullenly and plays on an old Xbox. They sort of bond a bit over a game, but Jason can’t seem to work out what category to put Mike in and to be fair, Mike feels the same about the situation. Poppy accepts him with an ease that Mike envies and it’s so weird because he doesn’t feel like they’re his immediate family…more like he does about Marcus, Kate, Sophie and Hayley.Laura comes home exhausted one night while Mike is doing the sums in his head and he blinks, surprised to see her in the room, dressed in a slightly revealing outfit that is her uniform in the bar that she works at.“Penny for your thoughts?” she asks, picking up one of Poppy’s toy trucks.Mike stretches. “Harvard,” he says, as his back pops.“Planning your courses already?” she asks, smiling.“Planning how to get there,” Mike corrects, shifting to pick up the dinner plate. “It’s not cheap.”Laura pauses and looks over, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “Harvey will pay, surely?”“He won’t,” Mike mutters to the plate as he carries it to the kitchen. She’s heard though and follows him to the kitchen. “We never speak about him,” she says slowly. “I thought…I thought you’d just decided that’s easier.”Mike sighs, puts the plate on the side and then turns to her. “We haven’t spoken. Me and Harvey, I mean. It’s almost been a year.”Laura stares at him in disbelief. “What?”“We had a fight.” He leaned back against the counter. “Just after Gordon died. He called me entitled.”Laura actually rolls her eyes. “Heard that one from him before,” she mutters and stands next to him, leaning back against the counter too. She seems lost in thought for a moment. “As someone who has a lot of experience arguing with Harvey…he struggles with emotions. You must know that.”“Doesn’t excuse it,” Mike says and then winces. “I was just as bad. Worse. I was looking for a fight.”“Can’t imagine where you got that from,” Laura says, shaking her head.Yeah. “Do you think I’m like him?” Mike asks abruptly. When she looks over to him, Mike shrugs, “I’m almost the same age as he was when you knew him.”Laura seems to mull it over for a few seconds. “Stubborn,” she says head tilted. “I think you might even be worse than him. And he was confident in the same way as you, neither of you back down if you think you’re in the right. But you’re quicker to forgive, less likely to hold a grudge. Less determined to control everything around you. Kinder.”“He can be kind,” Mike says, looking towards the door. “Pretty sure he’d disagree.” He debates for a moment and then shrugs. “Sometimes I think that whenever he looked at me, he saw you. Not sure what that says when your kid reminds you of someone you-”“Hate?” Laura offers up and then shrugs, turning to the sink to deal with the washing up. “If he didn’t love you so much, he wouldn’t hate me like he does.”Mmm. “He could have kept me.”Laura sighs as she starts cleaning one of the plates. “He…as soon as I walked away, he knew it was a countdown. I think part of me knew it too. He hates me because if I’d have stuck around, he could have been the weekend dad. He could have had the life he wanted and been in your life.” She looks down and scrubs fiercely. “I can’t talk, Mike. I wasn’t ready for you and I fucked up. But Harvey was never built to be a single parent.”She is, Mike thinks as he watches her. Husband in prison, one child dead and two still relying on her, he can see that she is because she’s trying and sacrificing and not giving up. It’s just being different, Mike supposes. Harvey is brilliant in his own way, but at this?“I’m not going to get what I want from him,” Mike says quietly and he can feel Laura looking over at him. “I think…if I went to him and said I was in trouble, he’d solve it. If I went to him for help, he’d help, but he’ll never be the person who is aware of anything happening outside of the office. I got sick as a kid once, and he had no idea.”Laura says nothing for a while. “Have you told him that?”Mike slowly shakes his head.“Maybe you should.”“It’s…” Mike sighs and turns to her. “Like don’t take this the wrong way, but me and you…I don’t need you. If you disappeared tomorrow I’d miss talking to you but…” he shrugs awkwardly and she nods.“I’m not your parent,” she says and reaches for a drying cloth. “I…I get that it’s not the same, Mike.”“And with him…it’s…it’s the hardest thing to accept that in the day to day, every day life of Harvey Specter, I’m not his priority. Like if I had an accident, he’d come,” Mike says when Laura opens her mouth as if to argue. “I’m pretty sure of that. But he loves his job. He knows everything that’s happening in the case he’s working. If I asked him to name five of my friends, he wouldn’t have a clue.” He smiles bitterly when whatever argument Laura was about make dies on her lips. “I think I need some time from him to…accept it or come to terms with it. If I’m looking for daily interest and being important, I’m gonna live my life being disappointed.”Laura shakes her head. “If you said that to him, he’d be devastated.”“Because he’d know it’s true.” Mike pushes himself from the counter and heads for his bag. “The next time I see him, I want to…I don’t want to go crawling back to him for a favour. And I’ll be damned if I’m the first one to give in. If I matter, he’ll give up winning for this one time.”“And if he doesn’t?”Mike ignores the question.XxxHis courses start again and it’s weird being in his final year while Trevor is in his second. They hang out and get high every so often until Mike accepts that while a job isn’t exactly going to solve everything, he really does need one.Catching a job as a bike messenger is easy enough. He gets to ride around the city and see different businesses and other areas and it’s fun. He hasn’t updated anyone with his new cell number. The idea of dealing with Marcus is more than Mike wants to deal with so he ignores it and spends the holidays alone or partying. XxxHe needs more money if he’s going to start saving for Harvard. Like, nothing is going to make a dent, but any money that he has will help things.“Does your job pay well?” he asks Laura.She freezes. “Why?”“I need a job with money.”She stares at him for a long minute. “I’d rather you didn’t,” is all she says.XxxTrevor, it turns out, is something that he calls a ‘go between’ for people who want pot and Mike’s pretty sure the correct term is ‘drug dealer’ but Trevor veers away from that phrase.Mike waffles over the idea for a few days once he sees how much Trevor can bring in, but Frank and Warren talk him out of it and Mike just keeps the messenger job but starts to step up his hours. That, along with compressing four years into three, means that more often than not he’s collapsing into a bed and sleeping as soon as his head hits the pillow.XxxTurning twenty is shit.He’s the same age as Harvey was when he was born. And that’s hideous because it’s suddenly terrifying as to how old his biological parents were when he was a baby and he feels annoyed at the stirring sympathy he feels.He gears himself up to go to see Harvey at least half a dozen times. Wafts between practising speeches to demand Harvey actually step up and apologies and falling through the door and asking his Dad to just talk to him. It’s a vicious spiral and he ends up tired and foul for a few days because he sleeps in fitful bursts.Exams come up and it just feels like he’s on this slippery slide that just hurtles him towards ‘after college’ which is beyond terrifying and he’s so not ready for it and how the hell can he be an adult if he’s this fucked up-Though Harvey manages, he supposes with a snort.It takes a while to call up Harvard’s finance department to talk about possible payment plans and the person in the office sounds confused.“It’s all set up,” the man says. “As soon as you have your official grades and payment is due we’re set to bill a Mr H Specter.”Oh.He sits down and tries not to cry.XxxVisiting Pearson Hardman is nerve-wracking because it’s ‘Harvey’s Domain’ and Mike kinda feels he needs some sort of gold-platted invitation to go in which is hilarious because when he’s stopped by security and gives his name apparently he’s on the book to allow entry.Heading up is awkward. Everyone is in suits and Mike lives with Harvey so he knows exactly how much these outfits cost while he’s in jeans and a t-shirt and while he doesn’t look scruffy, he’s definitely getting some looks.He remembers the route to Harvey’s office but falters in confusion when there’s someone else’s name on the door.Great. Now what-When he turns, Donna is standing there, watching him. Arms folded and gaze fixed on him.That’s like…a thousand times worse.“He’s got a new office?” Mike says because that’s the easiest topic to stick with.She nods. “He made junior partner last year.”Huh. Mike nods, not really sure what to think of that except that’s what Harvey was aiming for, though he guesses that it’s never really done. Harvey doesn’t do contentment; it’ll be senior partner, then name partner, then managing partner and there’s always something-Except he set up payment for Harvard.“Come on,” Donna says, and she leads him through the offices to a much bigger room, still glass walls, but with an entire shelf now and Mike looks around because there’s something missing.And the office is empty.“He’s at a meeting,” Donna says as she shuts the door behind her. Right. Sliding his hands into his pocket, Mike shrugs. “I just um…can you tell him thanks. For Harvard.”“You are aware that this is an empty office you could wait in for ten minutes.”Mike snorts. “Like his meetings take ten minutes.”“You’d be surprised,” Donna says and her smile is suddenly gentle. “Especially when he has the right incentive.”Mike nods and looks around, not really sure what to do.“It’s good that you’re here, Mike.”Maybe. “It’s a two way street,” he says eventually.“Yeah,” Donna agrees. “But he thinks you’re still angry and we both know that emotions aren’t exactly his area of expertise.” She perches on the edge of one of the chairs in the office. “He misses you. He just doesn’t know-”“He’s forty. He should know,” Mike snaps and there’s a distant realisation that it’s the case and he swallows back the wince that he’s missed Harvey’s fortieth. Donna nods, apparently accepting that argument. “He’ll be pleased to see you.” She spots someone outside and rolls her eyes. “Mike, I need to deal with someone. Don’t move,” she says, pointing at him and then she’s outside the door, talking to someone, guarding the threshold as if she thinks Mike make a run for it. Which is fair because that’s exactly what’s going through his head.There are basketballs on the window and Mike studies them, tracing the signatures and marvelling over some of them.His Dad is pretty cool. Even if he is a complete dick face when it comes to emotions.The desk is pretty empty. There’s a thin laptop on the surface and some blue folders and he traces the chair remembering being sat in another chair with Harvey in front of him-The framed Charles Bradley & Menahan Street Band album cover is gone.He taps a finger on the glass desk, confused. It’s only a suspicion that the album cover was linked to him and his old name. For all he knows it could be something to do with Gordon and it was too painful to keep it up but how shit is that that he has to look for hints and signs and be content with that?Donna’s stepped away a little from the door. Not enough that she won’t see him go, but he can definitely get by her.He makes a pacy walk for it and she clocks onto it immediately, side-stepping the conversation that she’s in and dismissing the balding guy with a sharp jab of her hand. “Mike,” she calls. “Please, just give him another five minutes. Traffic is-“ she cuts herself off. “At least leave a contact number.”He jabs a finger to call for the elevator.“Don’t do this,” she pleads and he can’t look at her and if he can’t look at her, how the hell did he think he was ready to face Harvey?“I just came to say thanks,” Mike says to the doors and how long does it take for an elevator to arrive? “He didn’t have to do that. I’ll pay him back.”“Mike,” Donna says. “I am not telling him that.”Surprised, he looks over at her.“That you want to pay it back?” she questions. “It’ll break his heart.”“Please,” Mike snaps, stepping in to the elevator. “Harvey loves this and himself. You’d have to go a way down his list to find me.”He is so not prepared for her expression to suddenly firm as she gets in with him, narrowly managing to miss the closing doors with the elegance of a goddamned ballerina.“That man loves you-”“Then where the hell has he been?” Mike snarls at her and it’s a good job the elevator was free otherwise this would be like literal hell.“You left,” Donna argues. “You didn’t tell him you’d changed your number. In fact no-one in your family knows how to contact you. His payments for college were rejected. You have cut him out of your life so efficiently you may as well be one of his tailors for how neatly you’ve done it.”Mike narrows his gaze at her. “Gordon came to find me because he knew where my friends were on campus. He knew the coffee shop I studied in. He had my friends numbers, knew the church I went to as a kid and the priest I used to talk to. Do you think Harvey even knew I went to a priest?”Donna’s face falls.“He didn’t know how to find me because he never was interested. Because this is his life and I was an add on. Because he outsourced me to Gordon to be raised.” The elevator pings and Mike stares at her. “When I talk to him, I want to not need him.”Donna slams her hand on the button to keep the doors closed and Mike groans. “Bullshit,” she says firmly. “You want to hurt him because he screwed up. And you’re not totally wrong, Mike, but you’re not totally right. His father has died-”“I know,” Mike hisses. “I found him, remember. And that was my grandfather.”“Oh so it’s a competition now?” Donna challenges. “You were both hurting and he didn’t reach out to you quick enough. That’s on him. You holding onto this? That’s on you.”Mike stares at her and then at the button she’s pressing. “You gonna let me out?”He can see her gaze jump to the screen showing the floor number and-And the time.“It’s been ten minutes,” Mike challenges. “Go on.”“This attitude,” Donna tells him, “is bullshit.”“I learned from the best.”When she lets the door open, a few seconds later, the lobby is quiet. Harvey Specter isn’t there and no-one gives a shit that he’s walking out of the building.XxxLater that night, he sits on the bed, listening to music in the hope that it blasts his brain cells out. He doesn’t really know what to think about going to see Harvey, but he knows that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it.When something tugs on his headphones, Mike bats a hand at Frank, not looking up from the book he’s reading.Except when he glances up, it’s not Frank.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mike stares up at Harvey, stunned. His father looks pretty much the same as ever; his hair is a little different and the suit looks even more expensive but the rest is the same. Harvey turns and looks around the dorm room. “You know what folding is?” he asks, eying up a pile of clothes. Mike sits up a bit and tugs out the other headphone. “I…how did…how did you get in?”“I walked,” Harvey says with some sardonic attitude. “Donna had you followed.”He doesn’t even feel surprised. He’s so off balanced by this, it’s unbelievable. “You came to talk to me earlier,” Harvey says and he’s looking around like he’s weighing up sitting down. “I told Donna to say thank you.”“For the money?” Harvey asks.“Yeah.”“Did you think I wouldn’t give it to you?”“I don’t know; you were the one who called me a spoiled brat.”“So you re-arranged your whole life on something that I said in the heat of the moment?”When it’s put like that, Mike wants to squirm. And throw something at him because Harvey should be apologising or concerned, or treating this conversation like it’s something to be pleased about rather than acting the way he did when Mike went out for an evening rather then ignoring him for two years.“Why are you here, Harvey?”“You could have phoned up and left a message,” Harvey counters.He’s tired. In fact, Mike feels drained. “Fine,” he says leaning his head back against the wall. “I missed you more than you missed me. Congratulations. Fuck off.”He refuses to look at Harvey and knows that the man is coming closer. A childish part of him wants to kick up at Harvey just to get him away, but he knows damn well how that will go and he feels so utterly defeated and-A rough hand curls into the side of his head and pulls him in a little. And it’s like Mike’s a little kid again, and he can smell his Dad and this used to be one of the safest places he knew as a teenager.“Wouldn’t bet on it,” Harvey says and another hand brushes through his hair. Then his hand slides down and lifts Mike’s head and Mike stares up. “You okay, kid?”“Doesn’t mean it’s okay,” Mike mumbles.Harvey’s face shifts fractionally before he nods. “Come on,” he says, stepping away. “You wanna steak?”Mike nods. He’s stubborn, but he’s not an idiot.XxxThe restaurant is one that Harvey totally looks at home in which means Mike immediately wants to squirm. He’s accuse Harvey of doing it deliberately, but a) Harvey isn’t exactly gonna go sit in MacDonald’s and b) it would change shit all.“You graduated in three years?” Harvey says. Not asks. Says.Mike nods. “Turns out that fancy school you sent me to knew what they were doing.”Harvey doesn’t seem least bit surprised by that.“You made partner.”Harvey hesitates. It’s almost a fraction of a second, but it’s there and gone before Mike knows what to make of it. He nods slowly instead and the smile isn’t quite real. “I get to boss everyone else around now.”Mike snorts and rolls his eyes. “Bet that’s really hard.”“Piece of cake,” Harvey smirks, and he seems to be back on firmer ground now. “Ordered you around as a teenager. After that? Even ambitious associates are easy.”Right. Mike nods and stares down at his food. He can feel Harvey watching him and doesn’t really know what to say. The silence stretches on until it become awkward.“You gonna say it?” Harvey asks after a minute.“Say what?”“Whatever it is you want to say.”And Mike pictures it. Asking Harvey if he picked up on the looks Mike got at the funeral from Gordon’s friends. Which is a statement that leads to talking about what happened at Gordon’s funeral (not great) or Harvey’s comment about Mike putting Gordon in the grave earlier than expected (really not great) or Harvey telling Mike he shouldn’t let these things get to him and to grow the hell up.Which is worse in someway. Like Mike isn’t allowed a reaction or his reaction is childish and meaningless. And Harvey’s better at arguing and Mike genuinely feels like someone’s drained him dry right now and he is so not up to taking Harvey on tonight.“What’s the point?” Mike asks. “We won’t agree and I’m not in the mood for round two.”“Never known you to back away from a fight.”God. Mike leans back as his plate is removed and shakes his head. “You know we could do small talk. Just touch base.”“Mike-”“Ask me about someone in my life.”Harvey’s expression doesn’t change. “How’s Laura?”“Do you care?”“Nope,” Harvey says, popping the ‘p’. Right. “I baby sit for her.”Harvey actually freezes. Then sits back and looks towards the window, his breathing tight and Mike waits for the explosion. It’s weird to watch as Harvey apparently tries to reign himself in, even as he wants to rip someone’s head off.“We don’t live together anymore,” Mike says into the silence and he knows that Harvey’s gaze has shifted back. “You don’t share your life with me and you don’t know much about mine. What can we actually talk about that doesn’t make us fight?”“You sit anyone down who haven’t talked in two years, they’d struggle too,” Harvey replies, suddenly at ease. “And like it or not kid, we need to talk.”Mike glances around the restaurant. There’s a small group in the corner who are celebrating something and Harvey has literally just picked this for a Thursday night unplanned meal.“Got any advice about Harvard?”Harvey watches him. “Try again.”Mike narrows his eyes and he knows that Harvey’s seen it.“What pisses you off more,” Mike asks and there’s a hint of a smirk starting on Harvey’s face. “The fact that I see Laura more than I see you or that the kid she forced you to give up is helping her keep her kids.”Harvey sits back again and his jaw works for a moment or two. “Too obvious, kid. Loses the sting if you’re just saying it to get me to get up and walk away.”“And you haven’t used my name once.”Harvey snorts. “You’re my kid. It’s good to say it. Mike,” he adds mockingly.“And the album?”Harvey’s eyebrows draw together. Then he actually rolls his eyes. “That was never there because of you. It was the first album I bought with my first pay-check as a lawyer. I outgrew it.”It’s a little bit like being punched. And the careless way of saying it makes it so much worse. With a furious glare, he stands up and heads for the door and shakes his head because he just knows that this time Harvey is following, though at a sedate pace as if Mike’s a toddler running over to play with the ducks or something.“Gonna walk out without paying?”Harvey actually laughs behind him. “Kid, I paid before we even walked through the door. Impressed you got through starters and main.”God, Mike just wants him to shut up.“What do you think I do in my office?” Harvey calls and Mike is conscious of the fact that Harvey’s no longer following him and he absolutely despises that he stops too and turns around. Harvey doesn’t budge an inch. “You think I sit there and show off personal trophies and bore people about my kid? I have people in there who don’t give a shit about my life, they care about what I can do for them. They care about professional trophies.”“Okay,” Mike says, “Okay, let’s walk into your fancy new flat and count up how many things of mine are out on display.”Harvey just shakes his head like Mike’s being stupid.“You can’t do it-”“I can’t do it because I wasn’t going to torture myself by looking at something that reminded me of the fact that my kid walked out and cut me out of his life.”There’s hurt in Harvey’s voice. More than Mike thought there would be and it stuns Mike.“You left,” Harvey snarls and he takes a step forward. “You chose her over me. You were a coward and ran away rather than stay and fix things like a god-damned grown up.”“Grown-up?” Mike breathes. “My Dad told me I killed my grandpa.”Harvey jerks. “I didn’t say that.”Mike shakes his head and turns to walk away.“Mike.”“I’ll see you at thanksgiving,” Mike snaps, not looking back. “Mike-”He ignores Harvey. And he hurries up his pace because Harvey never runs after anyone that simply walking quicker is enough to-Apparently not. He’s pulled around and Harvey’s hands are cupping his face, thumb pressed into Mike’s cheeks and it’s almost painful but not threatening.“I’m sorry,” Harvey says slowly, moving his head to meet Mike’s gaze. “Okay? That comment was out of line. And I wasn’t the only one who said some bad stuff that night, but that comment was…inexcusable. And not true. Okay?”He can’t shake the looks at the funeral. That Harvey even thought to go there with his comment.“I’m really tired,” Mike mutters, looking away. “I just…I just want to go to bed.”Harvey’s hands linger a second or so longer but he nods. “Give me your phone,” he orders, stepping away, but holding out his hand, demandingly.Mike stares at his hand and tries to remember the last time he was called without Donna being the one to connect the call or the last time he called and it wasn’t Donna that answered. But he’s exhausted and so he just digs the phone out and hands it over, feeling a little disconnected.Harvey’s typing in a number and then there’s a chime from his own phone in his pocket. He hands Mike’s phone back as he thumbs through his own. “We’ll give you a lift.”“We?”A sleek car pulls up and Mike sighs and just nods, crawling in and feeling like he could sleep for a thousand years.XxxThe next day, it all feels like a weird, surreal dream. Harvey’s number is in his phone under Dad and Mike debates changing it, but that seems petty.Instead, he hops on a train and ends up at Gordon’s grave.It’s weird. He isn’t one for this. He never once asked to go to his parents’ grave. He went back to the church a few times and it’s probably the sneakiest thing he ever did in his life because he could just imagine that Harvey would mock him, but talking to a slab and a body seems redundant.But there’s an image of Gordon’s dangling hand and he can’t get it out of his head how comforting it was to reach for it, even if he was dead.He sits in the grass in front of the grave, legs folded and glares at the headstone. Somehow, he has this feeling that just being mulish might summon up his grandfather, but the headstone remains silent.“I hate you,” Mike mutters. “And you have shit timing. Like literally the week I call you Grandpa and fell out with Harvey? Seriously? You couldn’t have waited a few days to have a heart attack?” He huffs and looks over at the trees, the leaves rustling in the breeze. The graveyards pretty big and old enough that he debated taking a walk, but who really needs to remember the names of sixty odd people and their dates of living for the rest of their life?“I don’t get him,” Mike mumbles, rubbing his chin on his knees and then looking back over at the grave. “He’s…you were right,” he admits and shifts. “I hurt him. I mean he hurt me too and he can be a lot meaner about it but…Gordon, I think I might be more emotionally well-adjusted than him.”He can just picture Gordon sitting back, nodding in agreement.“Yeah, that’s scary.” Mike tugs at the grass and then leans forward to trace the letters in the word grandfather. “You really do suck,” he whispers. “I miss you.”There’s silence.“I had so much I wanted to ask you,” Mike adds. “About Harvey, about me. About you. Like…you relocated your whole life for me. And I was so horrible. Did you…regret it? Did Harvey convince you or did you convince Harvey? What happened with you and Lily? There’s this whole history and now I’ll never know.” He stares at the word ‘Specter’ where it’s carved into the headstone. “Or at least not your opinion.“And I really want him to suffer. I want him to…cry. God how bad is that?” Mike asks and it’s annoying that he’s the one tearing up. “But you wouldn’t want him to. And it’s not just me, is it? He’s…” He frowns and he can’t help but think of the camping trip and his argument with Gordon and he’d accused Gordon of saying he was broken but maybe…”Something’s broken,” he whispers. “And I think you knew what it was, and I wish…I wish we’d had more time. That I’d been old enough for you to talk about it with me.”He stares at the grave for who knows how long. In his head, the next few years were Harvard and then a law firm and basically sticking it to Harvey, preferably in some very public court room and showing his father that he was important and worthy and somehow finally gaining even footing with the man because somehow that would make it all better.But…Harvard is still a given. Pearson and Hardman take on interns and associates.That’s a scary thought. If he does that, he’ll walk firmly into Harvey’s world. Completely and utterly. And he’s not deluded, his father won’t treat him better…if anything he’ll treat Mike worse or with higher standards.It wouldn’t be forever. But maybe that’s what he needs. To really step into Harvey’s world, just for a bit.The thought is terrifying. And he has years until he has to think about it.He strokes a hand over the headstone. “Okay,” Mike mutters. “I feel like two percent better about your shitty timing.” He nods. “Still think you’re an asshole for dying though.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It’s not that Mike doesn’t trust Harvey driving. It’s more that he’s never really experienced it, especially when Harvey’s in casual clothes and it’s a rental truck to help move Mike’s stuff.Two months ago they hadn’t spoken for two years and now?Now this.“Are you serious?” Harvey asks as they drive.Mike peeps an eye open and they are still going at a stupid speed, Harvey’s still got only one hand on the wheel and his boxes are still creaking in the back.He lets out a breath. “As a car accident.”Harvey mutters something to himself and Mike would swear that the jackass puts his foot on the accelerator. XxxSo there’s a confession. Mike has never been to Harvard.It’s just… a given. It’s where he was going to go because it was the best and that was that. So he saw no point in bothering to check it out in that way. But he’s a little unprepared for just how grand and old it looks and how green it is.Ames Hall is an impressive building -up some stone steps and looking like this grand mansion. Mike stops, leaning back on the hood of the truck and just…stares. Distantly, he knows that Harvey is watching him and Mike kinda wants to squirm but doesn’t really know what to say.“Where did you live?”Harvey nods in the direction of the place that is about to be Mike’s home for the next year. When Mike opens his mouth, Harvey shrugs. “It’s the cheapest option. That’s what you wanted. You being in this building is…” he smirks, “I’m not calling up universities and dictating where you live. Pure coincidence.”Yeah. Right. “How many of these rooms did you have sex in?”Harvey doesn’t reply and god, Mike hopes it’s not because he’s too busy counting. XxxWhen his stuff is in the tiny room, Harvey looks around, claps him on the shoulder and looks him in the eye.“New start, right, kid?”Who knows what he means by it. They’ve grabbed dinner about six times, talked about meaningless shit and Harvey’s given him about eleven law journals and it’s been weirdly…polite. A new start could mean keeping that up, or going back to normal or just be Harvey privately doing a happy dance inside because this all means that Mike isn’t exactly gonna be offering up babysitting duties to Laura now.But Mike nods. And then Harvey’s gone.XxxIt takes less than five hours for the kids on Mike’s floor to discover that he’s twenty and therefore not gonna be doing the beer runs anytime soon.“Twenty?” someone asks, seeming stunned. “How are you here? You’re sure you’re not an undergrad?”“Started college early,” Mike says and there is no way he’s telling them he did college in three years. He’s two years younger than the rest and he knows where this is going because the exact same thing happened at Columbia.He’s the baby.Which means no girl comes near him unless it’s to play at being big sister.Great.XxxMike loves reading. Always has, even when he was in danger of getting books thrown at him for loving it. But even he’s unprepared for the sheer volume of what needs to be covered. And everyone just…bounces with it. Well…most. There are a few who struggle, and different people struggle at different times. And Mike knows he’s not in the same situation as the others. They have to read and then work to remember, he just has to read.But it takes a term for the others to realise what they’re dealing with. “You have an eidetic memory?”Mike nods.And, you know, a father who is a junior partner, is a name in New York and has let Mike read law books since he was eleven.He doesn’t exactly mention that part.XxxThanksgiving comes and so does Harvey.Confused, Mike stares at him and then slowly looks behind him at his mess of a room. It’s the same as most; books everywhere, cans of coke, a pizza box in the corner and dirty washing a little too piled up in the laundry basket.“Well this is…” Mike trails off. “I thought you’d be…having dinner somewhere fancy with someone fancy.”“You planning on staying here?”“Well…” Mike looks around. “Studying. You know.”“Yeah,” Harvey nods and then sniffs. “You got five minutes to get your things that you need.”XxxThey head back to New York on a plane and then to Harvey’s fancy place and Mike’s jaw drops as they walk in.“This is nice,” he whistles, looking around because so much of it is glass and it’s like floating above the city which Mike is so not saying to Harvey because the man is in danger of a god complex as it is without any help. The kitchen is clean and sleek and a complete waste of time because unless Harvey’s cooking steak the whole thing is just ornamental. The living area is just as sleek with a fancy coffee table and huge television screen. There’s a balcony and Mike starts to wander towards it, eager for the view.“Put your stuff down first,” Harvey says heading to the kitchen.Uh…Mike turns and dumps his bag on the sofa.“Kid.” “Yeah?”Harvey inclines his head to a door and Mike rolls his eyes as he picks up the bag and opens the door and-Stares.It’s his room.It’s scarily his room. The shape’s a little different and it is a little bit smaller, but the colours are the same. The bedspread’s the same. The notice board with all the tickets and photographs. His books are on a shelf and, when he looks in the wardrobe, the clothes he left behind are still there.Even the posters are still there.Mike leans his head on the doorframe and fights back tears. “You said there was nothing of mine here,” he says eventually.“I said nothing of yours was out,” Harvey corrects and he’s still in the kitchen, busying himself with something. “You want a beer?”Mike nods and carefully puts his things on the bed.“Mike?”“Yeah,” he calls back, swiping at his eyes, annoyed at himself. “Beer sounds great.”XxxThey don’t really speak. They watch the game, eat takeaway and talk about school. Most of the professors have tenure and Harvey was there fourteen years ago so there are some names that are familiar to them both.But while Harvey isn’t exactly plying Mike with alcohol, the beer’s flowing freely. “So,” Harvey says as he leans back. “What number do you reckon you are?”“In class?” Mike shrugs. “I dunno. I held back a little. It’s a long game, right. I don’t want everyone gunning for me.”Harvey smiles and then looks at his beer bottle, swirling it in his hand as he rests it along the back of the sofa. “I meant on my priority list. Where do you think you are?”Mike stares at him and then glares at the ceiling. “Donna’s got a big mouth,” he mumbles.Harvey says nothing but switches his gaze from his bottle to Mike. “Wining,” Mike says, taking an annoyed sip. “Your job. Being made senior partner. Having power and money. Being able to do what you want. Me.”Harvey draws in a long breath. “I walked away from three opportunities to be made partner when you were a teenager.”Surprised, Mike looks up at him, searching his face for a lie, but not seeing any. And to be fair to Harvey, he’s a manipulative, emotionally stunted dickhead but he’s rarely a liar in this sense. He’ll bluff until he dies, but flat out lie?“You never said.”“How would that conversation go?” Harvey asks. “Hey, kid. It’s your birthday and I turned down working on a case that would have put me front and centre in front of the managing partner and earned points.” He raises an eyebrow.Oh. Mike stares down at his lap. “I had more than three birthdays,” he mutters.Harvey snorts. “I know that you think the world revolves around your birthdays but I usually managed to organise my work load. There were just a few instances when even Donna’s skills with a calendar made it tricky.” He sits back. “It only happened once on your birthday. One was a long case load which would have meant continuously being out of the house and the other was when Laura came back.”It makes Mike laugh. “Seriously? Because I don’t remember seeing you-”“I was working that week to take time off.”Oh.Oh. Wow. That…okay. “So you were out the house.”Harvey nods. “I travelled to settle something with a client. Dad…he knew I was busy and was leaving me to sort it out. We were going to talk…” he stares at the beer and then takes a sip.“I saw him,” Mike says into the silence. “At campus. I texted him and he replied…” Mike stares at the liquid in the glass bottle. “I called him Grandpa.”He can feel Harvey’s gaze on him. “I know,” Harvey says eventually. “I heard the voice message. He sent it to me.” He smiles gently. “He was over the moon.”It makes Mike’s vision jump. “I…I don’t know…It shouldn’t have taken so long to do. I didn’t have a grandpa with my parents. I mean I had Grammy…” he trails off because that’s a wound that catches him off guard sometimes. “I saw how people looked at me. At the funeral.” He takes a sip. “You were right.”He can hear Harvey moving and refuses to look, but his father is kneeling in front of him and taking the beer bottle away and putting it on the floor. “He adored you,” Harvey says firmly, pinching Mike’s chin between him thumb and forefinger. “And he was so proud of you. I’ve never heard him boast about anything as much as he boasted about you. And yeah, he’d tell some of your ‘Mike is a brat’ stories but he did it to bore everyone about how proud he was of his stubborn, wild, reckless grandson who wasn’t cowed by a god-damned thing.”Mike stares at Harvey, at how sincere his brown eyes are and how much his expression is willing Mike to believe him. “You said-”“And I said it was inexcusable.” Harvey reaches to stroke Mike’s hair. “You and me? We know how to use words as weapons and we know exactly where to aim them. I went for Dad and you went for Laura.” He seems to debate something for a moment. “I will never be okay with you having a relationship with her. And you telling me that I acted in the wrong when she…” he clenches his jaw. “She hurt you and she left you and that led to me…I will never forgive her for that.” He sits back a bit, hand leaving Mike. “And I hate that he was in the flat, dead and alone and…”Mike nods quickly, not really ever wanting to go over the fact that neither of them had come home quick enough to help him or even just have him in the morgue within a day. “I’m sorry,” he offers.Harvey nods and stands, collecting the beer bottle. “You should get some sleep,” he says after a while. And it should be the end of it, except…Except Harvey never said I’m sorry and he lawyered his way out of the conversation about priorities. And somehow, it makes Mike feel both a hundred times better and a thousand times worse.XxxDecember is exams and Mike throws himself into them because that’s easier than dealing with stuff with Harvey. He doesn’t go back to New York but uses some of the money that he saved up to go travelling instead. He spends Christmas in a motel room with some peanut m and m’s.If Harvey’s surprised, he doesn’t say anything.XxxMike places sixth when they post the class results and that pleases him because he definitely held back. But January is the start of the experiential term and that’s the part that he knows he needs to work on because that’s group work and practical skills and he might have the knowledge, but applying it? That’s gonna be the rub.Well, it was. The second he starts, Mike knows without doubt that he’s made the right choice. Practical courses make all the difference and there’s prepping for moot court and-It’s heaven and Mike soaks it up. He gets so caught up, that he forgets to monitor himself and by the time he remembers it’s way too late.So he soars.XxxHe loses his virginity finally during Spring break. She’s sweet and he’s probably way too nervous and it’s so good. It’s not love or romance, but it’s a good time and it makes Mike grin.Xxx
Happy 21st xxx
That’s literally all that Harvey sends. And Mike stares at it and thinks that maybe Harvey’s butt hurt because he thought that their thanksgiving chat was all that needed to be said. Mike’s not old enough to realise that if he has a problem he needs to raise it, even if Donna once told him to his face that was exactly what he'd have to do. He’s no-where near confident enough to slam a door shut and practically shove Harvey into a chair and vomit out the problems that keep tying his guts in knots.And Harvey isn’t anywhere near being ready to hear it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
November Mike’s second year
The second Thanksgiving that Mike has at Harvard, he’s twenty one and goes to see Marcus.It’s awkward as hell. Mike stands at the door with some wine and shifts from foot to foot and Marcus opens the door and just stands, staring.It’s so dumb, but Mike had a momentary panic that maybe, for some reason, Marcus doesn’t recognise him and-Then he gets the world’s biggest bear hug and all is well with the world. Except not really, but for two long minutes, it feels like it because Marcus gives hugs the same way that Gordon did.Xxx
Christmas, nine years ago
“We’ll have to get a takeout,” Harvey’s Dad says as they sit on the sofa together.Yeah. Refusing to be drawn into this conversation, Harvey says nothing.“Mike should have his family around him.”Harvey refuses to look in the direction of his son’s door. The kid that called him Dad two weeks ago is currently snoring into his pillow and there were three books on the floor under where his hand was dangling when Harvey had looked in earlier and go figure how the kid had managed that.“He doesn’t need us fighting,” Harvey says.“Don’t fight then,” his dad suggests with a hard tone.“You want me to apologise?” Harvey asks, turning. “We’ve had to pick up the pieces for weeks because Marcus let Lily into the restaurant-”“He hardly let her in-”God, he’s so bored of this. He loves Marcus, but his brother is a weak man at times and never more then when their mother is involved. He might want Lily involved in his child’s life, but Harvey isn’t doing it. Refuses. Between Lily and Laura they may as well have snatched his kid from his arms and he’ll be damned if he’s letting either one near his boy ever again.But they’ve done this dance. Stood outside the apartment having raging fights. Gone at it in the ring while Mike’s been at school or at one of his friend’s house or inhaling books at the local library and Harvey has never been so glad that he and his father had agreed to just pretend not to know that’s what Mike does after school.Instead, Harvey gets up and heads to the fridge. Not that’s there’s anything really in it, but the door blocks his view of his Dad for a while.“I want to spend Sophie’s first Christmas with her.”“Best start packing then.”There’s a silence. And then his Dad is inclining his chin towards the front door in an angry sharp movement and Harvey almost feels amused at this.Since they got home, he doesn’t think they’ve had a single night where Harvey isn’t working that they haven’t gone outside to ‘discuss’ things.This time, his Dad starts as soon as the door shuts.“You’re the one who refuses to just let it go,” his Dad snaps in the hallway. “So you stay here.”Harvey folds his arms. “Gladly.”“And I’m taking Mike.”“No.” Harvey nods, keeping his work smile on his face. “Anything else you wanna have a tantrum over?”“You’ll show me some respect-”“Why?” Harvey challenges. “It’s my flat, my kid and my choice. You don’t like it, get on a train and go home.”His Dad stares at him and then shakes his head and walks off down the hall towards the stairs. Harvey shakes his head and walks back into the flat and, for some reason, find himself in Mike’s room with the snoring kid.It’s a freaking mess. Which is Mike all over sometimes; just a bundle of chaos that Harvey doesn’t really know what to do with. But he heads towards the boy and bends down to pick up the books and then sighs at the sight of the lawbook, the book on the history of ancient Greece and the creation of democracy and a history text book on the American Revolution. They’re all college level.Carefully, Harvey places them on the desk and touches a finger to the notice board there. The kid hasn’t really said anything, but the tickets from the Nets game are there and the kid had begged to have them back, ripped as they were. There’s a photograph of them all at Mike’s twelfth birthday and another one of him and some of his friends at school at some kid’s birthday. And then there’s one of Harvey reading some papers and Mike behind where he’s sat on the sofa, pulling a stupid face.Unbidden, Harvey strokes a thumb over the picture. His son’s face is relaxed and carefree. He looks like a normal teenager rather than a kid who’s been bounced around from person to person, born to a drug addict who was too weak to kick out her shitty ex-boyfriend and lost in the system-The thought makes him frown as he stands and looks down at his son, then bends to press a kiss to the boy’s head.Mike had called him Dad.For no other reason than to get Harvey’s attention and he has to give it to the kid, it worked. But it’s been almost nine months since Harvey looked at the kid and felt this unending depth of love for the kid that was just there, like it had always been there and he’s just found it again. Nine months since Harvey’s had to admit that it isn’t duty or just caring. Mike might not be called Charlie anymore, but he’s the same little boy, the same kid that needs protection and why the fuck doesn’t Mike feel the same?Harvey is pretty sure that he will envy James Ross until the day he dies.“The books,” Mike mumbles, stirring a little. The kid rolls onto his back and stares up at Harvey with sleepy eyes. “Haven’t finished.”“They won’t vanish,” Harvey mutters and then pulls the covers up and under his son’s chin. “Go back to sleep.”“’Kay,” Mike agrees, meek and agreeable and Harvey almost laughs because how rare it is to catch his kid in this mood?Xxx
November – Present Day.
Mike stares at Sophie who is almost eight and feels old. She doesn’t really remember him and hovers close to Marcus as if claiming territory.“I’m sorry for-”“The next words had better be ‘ignoring you for three years’,” Marcus says, smiling, “because if you say sorry for turning up here, I’m kicking your ass.”“You know you might have to eat less food,” Mike checks. “Like…if it’s okay that I stay for dinner.”“We discussed kicking your ass, right?” Marcus asks. “Kate? Our nephew’s an idiot.”“Yes he is,” Kate agrees, placing a cup of coffee in front of him. “But he’s a Harvard idiot.”“Yeah,” Mike ducks his head. “You’re enjoying it,” Marcus says with a proud smile. “Dad always said that you would. Sometimes I think he was tempted to drive you up there and just plop you down and step back.”Mike feels his smile freeze and just nods, hiding the awkward moment with a sip of his coffee.“Come on,” Kate says to Sophie, picking her up. “Shall we go and see what your brother and sister are up to?”Marcus sits closer and clasps Mike’s shoulder as they leave the room. “You’ve had a shit few years, haven’t you?”“I miss Gordon,” Mike confesses. “I really could…I really need him.”Marcus slings an arm around Mike’s shoulders. “Then maybe cutting yourself off from us was a dumb idea.”“If I talked to you, Harvey would have…” Mike shakes his head. “We’re in such a shit place.”“He said that you were talking again,” Marcus says, his brow furrowing.Mike shakes his head and sits back. “We are. It’s just…” he hesitates and stares at Marcus who doesn’t seem surprised.“Harvey argues for a living,” Marcus says after a while. “Yes,” Mike says, sitting up, suddenly relieved. “I don’t…we talk and he like…he steamrolls me. And I don’t know why I’m still frustrated and then…hours later I can think of what I want to say.”“Yeah,” Marcus sits back into the arm of the sofa, watching Mike carefully. “I get it. I so get it. I’m his little brother. God forbid I see a chink in the armour but even worse if I don’t just accept his viewpoint and say thank you.”Mike turns to stare at Marcus. And oh wow, someone who actually gets it. “I don’t even get how it’s gone so shit,” Mike complains. “Like we fought and then… so we made up but we talked and I’d said about feeling like winning and his work being more important and-” Mike groans. “He didn’t…he just twisted it.” He plucks at his jeans and shrugs. “Some lawyer I’ll make. I can’t even make my Dad see how I feel.”Marcus actually grins. “If you could make Harvey see an emotional argument, get him to accept and talk about his own feelings and reach a compromise then you’d be the greatest lawyer and human in the world.”Yeah. Maybe.Xxx
Christmas two years ago.
The scene is perfect; the apartment sleek and elegant and not a god-damned Christmas decoration in sight. There’s a woman asleep in his bed and he had a meal in a restaurant that has a four month waitlist.But he can’t sleep.He slipped out of the bed hours ago. It’s four in the morning and the city is as quiet as it ever manages to be. There was shouting a while ago that Harvey could only hear because he was stood out on the balcony in the freezing air, looking across the buildings.He has everything that he wants. He’s a partner. He has the apartment. He can have sex in his apartment. He’s had a year to just get on with everything and focus on work and his rise has been sudden and meteoric. Not that he was slacking before, but he was fighting with one hand tied behind his back because he’d intended to actually see his kid and-His kid.God, he misses his kid.He makes the decision. It’s ass-o’clock in the morning, the woman in his bed isn’t intending to stay. He’ll have the day to himself to piece himself back together so.So he walks into the other bedroom.He tells everyone it’s the cleaning closet. He hates that he’s created what others might see as a shrine to his son but he’d argue it was more curiosity to see what his son’s room might have looked like if he’d kept it tidy on a regular basis.He closes the door behind him and sits in the chair. It’s so quiet.He reaches for the top drawer and stares in at the contents. Every single photograph, keepsake and card is in that drawer where Harvey tosses it whenever he stumbles across them.There’s a picture of Mike hungover and flipping the bird at the camera. He’s drowning in Harvey’s hoodie and he still looks so young.Mike is still so young. And yeah, Harvey remembers being nineteen (and it’s weird to realise that Mike is now half of his age, that his son has been alive for half as long as Harvey has been alive), but Harvey knows he wasn’t as young or vulnerable or naïve as Mike is. There’s a creased and dog-eared photograph of Mike when he was a few hours old. He’s a bundle of blankets and there’s part of Laura’s chin, shoulder and arm in the picture as she cradles the baby.It’s the picture that exists to torment. When Mike was first born, Harvey took it and then stared at it while waiting for the DNA test results. When Mike was adopted, Harvey would get it out in March and drink away any emotion and now? Now it’s like a taunt that no matter how much he wants to, he can’t rip his son out of Laura’s arms.And holy shit does he want it. That bitch has her claws in his son and she doesn’t deserve a single thought from Mike’s head.He knows Laura. Kenneth’s in prison and she’s alone and Mike’s a soft touch. There’s a pile of debt and Mike’s got a brilliant, bright future ahead and if she sticks around long enough it won’t be the odd five hundred dollars that Mike throws her way. It will be thousands and that cash out will just keep on going.He hates that Mike is old enough to walk out the door. If this were five years ago, he’d have grounded the kid, got out a restraining order and waited out Mike’s furious temper about the whole thing. As it is, he has no power. He can’t follow the kid around or erect a perimeter wall up around the boy. He has to wait for the kid to see what a mistake he’s making.But Mike is stubborn. Whole other world kind of stubborn. And in this mood, Harvey doesn’t quite trust himself because last time Mike managed to verbally sucker punch him twice and Harvey had never raised his hand to his kid. Would have sworn he never would. It wasn’t a hard hit, nothing to bruise or damage, but it was unintentional and Harvey has never felt so out of control in his life as he did the day that he shoved and slapped his son.God, under other circumstances, he’d be so proud of the kid’s ability to jab with such accuracy at Harvey’s…more vulnerable spots.The dumbass has lost his phone. Harvey knows that. Vanessa has followed the kid and his son is such a dumbass. Up until a few weeks ago, Harvey could call it absently, just the action giving him some outlet or feeling that he was in some way reaching out.The number’s just dead now. He looks up at the notice board and at his son pulling a face behind his back as he reads on the sofa.He refuses to read into what the photograph suggests about their relationship.Xxx
November -Present Day
God this is so stupid. It’s so dumb. Why does Marcus even care?Mike stares at the phone in his hands and there’s a number helpfully printed in Kate’s neat handwriting and she does know that he can remember entire books word for word, right? Why does she think she needs to write down a phone number.Urgh!Dialling before he can give it too much thought, Mike lifts the receiver to his ear and waits. “Hey Dickwad,” Harvey greets.Uh, rude.There’s a silence. “Shit, Kate. I assumed…”“No,” Mike says and he adjusts the phone at his ear. “Dad, it’s me.”“Mike.” Harvey sounds different again and it’s a bit disorientating how many times his tone has completely changed. “You’re with Marcus?”“Yeah.” It occurs maybe a little late that it might seem like Mike’s excluding the man. “I just…I dunno. He cooks better than you.”“Depends what he’s cooking.” Harvey’s voice has mellowed out now and Mike can almost picture him leaning back in his seat, enjoying the chat. “You bring your washing with you?”“Think that’s reserved for people that visit more often than once every four years.”“Next time then.”Yeah. Smiling, Mike feels himself relax a bit. “You’re at work?”“People get soft in the holidays,” Harvey says and there’s a teasing tone in his voice. “Easy pickings.”“I’ll remember that,” Mike says, “can I cite you in a paper.”“More people should. Hang on a second.” Harvey says something away from the speaker and then he’s back. “How were your exams?”“Good. Great. I got top ranking.”He can almost feel the smile. “That’s my boy.”Yeah. But something about it doesn’t sit right and Mike just shifts and looks over. The den is separated from the living room by some glass doors and through it he can see Marcus on the floor with the kids, playing some board game.“Any suggestions,” Mike asks as the silence drags on both ends. “Someone was saying about a summer internship next year.”“I’ll have a think.” And now the tone is clipped and annoyed and oh yeah, Harvey picked up on Mike’s reaction then. “I got a client.”“Ok,” Mike says, scrambling. “Happy-”The rest is said to a dialling tone.Xxx
Christmas Twenty Two years ago
Charlie is awake and babbling away. They’ve been up for hours and Harvey’s half-heartedly staring at the TV while Charlie happily guzzles on the milk. Harvey’s slumped into the edge of the sofa and Charlie is on his chest, cradled inbetween Harvey’s arms and his little hand keeps trying to hold the bottle himself.“Boom.”By the time Harvey looks up, Marcus has slam dunked a santa’s hat on Charlie’s head and the baby is scrunching up his face and using a clumsy hand to try and figure out what the hell has just happened.“Dickwad.”Marcus shrugs and drops down opposite them, watching Charlie who has shoved the hat off and is staring at it in what Harvey hopes is a quality disgusted glare. Then Harvey gets a little kick from Charlie as he started to wriggle.Putting the milk down, Harvey sits the baby up properly and rubs his back, trying to make sure that if he is sick at all, it’ll all be aimed at Marcus even if he is a foot away. He has faith in Charlie’s projectile skills.“Happy first Christmas, Charlie,” Marcus says, shifting a little closer to stroke Charlie’s hand. Charlie blinks down at him and Harvey can feel the shifting and rumbling and says absolutely nothing as Charlie lets out a vomit-y belch at Marcus.“You asshole,” Marcus yelps, scooting back and wiping frantically at his hand. “Dad!” and he’s up and running out of the room.Charlie looks over at Harvey and the expression is so proud that Harvey bursts out laughing. Reaching for the cloth, he wipes at the kid’s face and lifts him into the air. “Okay. If we can always do that, we’re golden.”The baby lets out a delighted shriek and there’s that noise again that is definitely the ‘d’ sound and Harvey is certain that Charlie only experiments with that sound when he’s around so it’s pretty much like Charlie’s already calling him Daddy.“Did you make Charlie sick-up on Marcus?” his dad asks.“You think I can make a baby be sick on command?” Harvey asks, standing up and Charlie pats at his shirt collar, apparently very interested in the material.His dad looks at him and then shakes his head. “Marcus will buy that,” he decides and wanders off.“Sucker,” Harvey murmurs to his son. “You are so my secret weapon, kid. You and me against Marcus.”Xxx
November -Present Day
He’s outside in the garden, wrapped up and shit but still cold so obviously he needs to smoke to warm up a little. Smoking weed at his uncle’s house is probably a stupid idea but hey. He’s the dumbass, right?“That doesn’t smell like tobacco.”“That stuff’ll kill you,” Mike quips and holds out a joint.To his absolute shock, Kate takes it. And Mike sits up, knowing that he’s wide eyed as she sits opposite him and he doesn’t quite believe it until she lights up and takes the first drag.“Huh,” he mumbles, sitting back. “Out of the two of you-”“Marcus gambles. I smoked some weed.” Kate blows out some smoke and looks up at the sky. “This is good.”“I have a friend,” Mike replies and this is so surreal. “I wasn’t planning on it. It was still in my bag from visiting him.”She nods. “I assume there’s a reason for smoking it here. Harvey?”Yeah. “One step forward and fifty steps back.” Mike shakes his head. “What chance do I have if Marcus still has the same problems that I do?”Kate seems to debate what she wants to say. “I love your uncle,” she says, “but Marcus isn’t built for confrontation. Or hard decisions. If he can take the easy way, he will. You? You and Harvey are talking again. How easy would it be to smooth things over and just pretend.”Mike aims a look of disgust at her.“You are so Harvey’s son.” She seems to find it amusing. She look over at the house. “Do you remember your first Christmas? Back when you were eleven?”“Yep. I remember Gordon broke down the bathroom door because I was being weird about people driving.”“Did you know that Harvey and him had a huge fight that night?”Surprised, Mike looks over at her. “Bullshit.”“I wish. They had a screaming match in the street and Marcus sat with his head in his hands for most of it.“What the hell did they fight about?”Xxx
Christmas ten years ago
“-and you gave me no choice,” Harvey screams at his father, shoves at him.“Don’t you dare go there,” his father shouts back. “He’s your son. It was on you. It was your decision.”“My decision?” Harvey breaths. “My decision? My decision was made because his mother preferred drugs, my mother preferred fucking anyone who wasn’t her husband and you preferred losing your god-damned mind at the bottom of a bottle.”He gets a shove for it and Harvey staggers back a few steps and then squares up again. “He hides that he likes to read because people threw books at him,” he says and he hates how his voice cracks. “And I failed him but you damn well failed me. And that’s why we are where we are.”“I failed you?” his father yells. “You got someone pregnant at nineteen. You brought a baby back home and then chased your mother away. Take some goddamned responsibility, Harvey. He was adopted because you preferred your life without any burdens or inconveniences.”Harvey punches him.He’s not there yet. Not quite got that click with Mike yet but he still knows he would die for that boy and if time machines really were a thing, he’d get one right this second.“Never use those words to describe my son.”His dad touches at his face. “That boy is hurting,” his father says slowly. “And you told me that you would protect him. Look after him. Give him shelter and help and a voice.”Harvey stands stock still. “And whatever is still in your head won’t let that happen. And this,” his father says, holding up a bloodied thumb to the streetlamp’s light, “this will happen. Again and again. And one day, Harvey, it’ll be Mike where I’m standing.”Harvey stares at him. “I will never hit my son.”“That’s the least of my concerns,” his father says and it confuses Harvey enough that he lets his father just walk away. At the house, Kate is stood in the doorway and Marcus on the steps and his Dad walks past them both and heads inside.And Harvey stays on the street, breathing hard.“You don’t always have to start a fight,” Marcus mutters when Harvey finally walks back towards the house.“I don’t,” Harvey snaps as he walks up the steps, “but I sure as shit don’t run away from ‘em like you do.”Xxx
November -Present day.
Harvey stares out at the city from his office and takes a sip of the scotch from the shelf.“I thought you were heading to see Marcus this year,” Jessica asks from the doorway.“Change of plan.” Harvey turns to look at her. “You look impressive.”“I always look impressive,” Jessica dismisses, but her gaze doesn’t stop being edged with concern or curiosity as she studies him. “And Mike?”“With Marcus. He phoned.” Harvey turns fully. “Kid came top of his class.”“I know.” Jessica smirks when he looks surprised. “I keep track of future employees.”The idea of Mike working at Pearson Hardman makes Harvey snort. “Doubt that.” He places his glass on the table. “Starting to think all sons live to find some battle with their fathers. Like competing for the crown.”“Maybe,” Jessica agrees. “Or maybe he has a different crown in mind to the one you’re so determined to win.”He shoots her a quizzical look.“Happy holidays,” Jessica offers as she slips away. Harvey watches her go and then looks back at the glass.
He smiled, amused by the kid and basking in actually having him home, under his roof and somewhat willing to listen for once. “I meant on my priority list,” Harvey explained. “Where do you think you are?”
“Donna’s got a big mouth,” Mike grumbled
Donna seemed to take it weirdly seriously. Like this dramatic statement was actually serious and not just the kid wanting reassurance.
“Wining,” Mike said, eventually. “Your job. Being made senior partner. Having power and money. Being able to do what you want. Me.”
Stupid kid. Winning, his job, being powerful and influential, all of it was to make sure that no-one could get to him or Mike. Ever. No-one would be able to let them down, they wouldn’t need to rely on anyone. Nothing. Winning meant being number one. First priority. It meant getting dibs and not waiting or hoping or wishing.
Winning meant he’d never be weak in front of his son again. Never having to let him down again.
And whether or not Mike appreciated it, whether or not he wanted to be Harvey’s boy, or wanted them to be close, it was what Harvey intended to do.
Because when his kid came to him, needing him, Harvey wasn’t going to be the one to break down and collapse. He was gonna be the one who fixed things.
He wasn’t gonna be his father to his son.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Not sure I recognise you without a book stuffed in your face.”“Haha,” Mike mutters as he walks through the front door. “You’re packing?”Trevor nods and gestures him in. “I am officially a graduate. Or will be soon.” He sinks back into the sofa and, while there are boxes in various states of use, there’s a bong on the table, out in all its glory. “I have a job interview tomorrow.”A job. Mike’s had jobs, he’s had more jobs than most kids his age, but Trevor’s talking about a professional job. The one that you mostly have rather than the one that allows you to have money in between classes. “What even is IT consulting?”Trevor just shrugs and grins. “So you’re done with your second year at Harvard?”“One more year,” Mike agrees. He perches on the edge of the arm of the sofa, feet on the cushion. “Are you going back to your parents?”“Hell no,” Trevor laughs. “I’m renting a place. And you should totally stay with me for the summer.”“Stay with you?” Mike asks, trying to hold back the smile. He glances at the bong.“Friends and family discount,” Trevor offers and shoves at his knee. “Come on, dude. We missed out on so much stuff. Being teenagers together. Raising hell.”“That’s exactly what a future lawyer needs to do.”“Future lawyer,” Trevor says, pouncing on the phrase. “Like not right now? You have your whole life to be straight laced and boring and I tell you what, if you think most lawyers don’t break the law, you’re an idiot. You just know how to argue your way out of it and that? That is something that you need to make the most of.”Mike lets out an unsure noise.“Mike, come on. Live a little.”“Fine,” Mike allows. “Fine. Yes.”“Yes,” Trevor celebrates and then nods towards the bong. “And shall we celebrate properly.”“You have to…” Mike holds up his hands when Trevor makes a mocking face. “Fine. Don’t pack your stuff up. Sure the movers will be real pleased with that being out.”“Dude, how do you think I’m paying them?”XxxLast summer, he stayed in Harvard and got a job. This year, he’d sort of waffled around about it. There were some friends renting out a place and Mike had been offered the sofa there and Harvey had pointed out that there was a room at his place and even Marcus had reminded him about the guest room.He could do a night at Harvey’s while Trevor settled in. Firing off a quick text, he headed to the building and fiddled through his various keys to let himself in.“Honey, you’re home,” Harvey’s voice rang out.“Uh…it’s me.” And as soon as he says it, he can feel the eye roll. “Right, you knew that.” Mike edges into the open plan space and peeks in.Harvey’s sat in the armchair, legs crossed and a laptop on his lap and a drink close by. “You’re working from home?” Mike asks curiously.“Are you coming home?” Harvey counters, not looking up.“Uh…I am tonight. Then um…Trevor has a place. He said I can stay.”Harvey’s fingers pause on the keyboard and he slowly looks up and over. “Trevor…uh…we were friends as kids. He was at Columbia?”Harvey continues to stare then he looks back at the screen. “Is he the reason why you smell like a pot-head right now?”Jesus. “I thought you’d be at work.”“My fault then,” Harvey says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. And then he’s on his feet suddenly and Mike takes a step back.They stand like frozen figures in a play and Mike can only hear his own breathing.“Get in the shower,” Harvey orders, turning away.Mike debates it for a moment. Just walking out and then-And then what? Another two years of silence?He hates being the emotionally grown-up one.XxxWhen he gets out of the shower, Harvey is stood by the huge floor to ceiling windows, leaning against the glass and seeming lost in thought.“Whatever you want to say, say it.”Harvey doesn’t turn and instead takes a sip. He’s almost convinced that Harvey’s going to ignore him except it’s not Harvey’s style and his father inclines his head towards a chair. “Sit down,” Harvey says and it’s an order but at least this time his voice is softer.Towelling his wet hair, Mike perches on the edge and waits for Harvey to take a seat too, but the man doesn’t move from his position at the window.“Did you think I was going to hit you?”“No.” Mike scrunches up his face. “It’s just usually wiser to have some distance when we argue.”“Why?”“I…” Mike shrugs. “It’s like the rules of arguing.”Harvey doesn’t say anything. “Your mom is an addict-”“Oh seriously?” Mike asks, standing back up. “This? You’re gonna twist this into a Laura fight?”“Sit down,” Harvey snaps out, turning around. “And no. We’re gonna talk about biology here. Your mother is an addict. Your grandfather was on the cusp of alcoholism. Your uncle had a gambling addiction. This? This has the potential to completely derail you.”Mike stares at him and slowly sinks back into the chair. “It’s a predisposition,” he argues quietly.“I know,” Harvey says and he keeps his distance which Mike is oddly grateful for. “How often are you taking drugs?”Mike debates his answer. Debates throwing the fact that Kate smoked with him at Thanksgiving. Debates turning the question back on Harvey and asking what he’s addicted to. “I…sometimes a couple of times a month.”Harvey stares at him.“Sometimes a couple of times a week,” Mike admits and then sucks in a breath when Harvey mutters under his breath in annoyance. “I’m twenty two. I’m not a kid. This is my choice.”“And it’s a stupid choice,” Harvey says, putting his drink down and standing behind the armchair, both hands braced on the back. “Every firm worth going to will drug test.”“Then I’ll stop when I get a job.”“You know what addiction is, right?” Harvey challenges. “I do remember paying stupid amounts of money for your education. Which, by the way, you’re tossing down the toilet right now.”“I’m sorry you made a bad investment choice then.”“You think I give a shit about the money?” Harvey yells. “I think you will if you don’t get a good return,” Mike replies and Harvey slams his hand down on the back on the chair.“This is the same god-damned argument,” Harvey mutters. “Over and over again. I am so sick of this,” he snaps. “What have I done that is so terrible? You’ve had every opportunity, every advantage. Nets games, birthdays, freedom. You’ve had food on the table and an adult in the house every day that you’ve lived with me. So go on. Clearly I am missing something here.”“Yeah,” Mike says. “You really are.” And he stands to go to his room.“Coward.” Harvey throws the word after him.Mike pauses and then turns back. “Maybe. Or maybe I’ve just decided that this…this won’t change, Harvey. So what’s the point in arguing?”Something shifts in Harvey’s expression.“Dinner in two months, right?” Mike says and nods to himself. “See you later, Dad.”Harvey doesn’t call after him.XxxLife settles in at Trevor’s. It’s a relief to not worry about how he’s seen or putting on some act. Mike picks up the bike messenger job again that he had while he was at Columbia. There are some days when he’s high. Some days when he isn’t and he really hates Harvey’s comment about family addiction keeps ringing in his head and-And he goes to see Laura.He sees her and his siblings about four times a year now. He babysits in chunks when he does. Jason is eighteen now and that’s weird and they’ve smoked together in a park when Mike caught him and felt way too much like a hypocrite to turn him into Laura.Laura sighs when he asks her. She’s looking tired and he knows that Jason is giving her hell and there’s a shitty part of him that kind of wants to pat his brother on the back and just sit back because while Mike can’t exactly comment on Laura’s parenting, Jason certainly can.“I was an addict,” she says, patting down the sofa cushion.“Pot?”She nods. “And cocaine. Some meth.” Mike can feel his eyes widen. “And then there was Grace and I…stopped.”Huh. “Was it hard? To stop, I mean?”“Not as hard as losing a child.” Laura stands up and faces him and something about the comment annoys him, but the conversation moves on before he can really work out what. “What are you taking?”“Pot.”She looks at him carefully. “You trust your dealer?”“I live with…well, he’s my friend. We went to kindergarten together and he happens to deal so-”“He make you pay?”“I get a discount,” Mike says and this is so weird. “I just…Harvey said there are addicts on his side and you…” He squirms. “I was just curious.”“I told you. My family was rich. Money to burn.” Laura faces him. “Both my parents used. But they could afford it so they never got the label of addict.”He’s touched a nerve and he isn’t entirely sure what to do. “Guess you and Harvey really were a shit match then.”It makes her soften. “He’s right though,” she admits. “It can derail everything. See exhibit A.” She gestures around her.“You’re doing all right though,” Mike says, looking about himself.Laura’s lips twitch and she comes close, cupping his face. “I actually kind of admire Harvey for keeping you so young,” she says, eyes amused. “Jason figured it out years ago.”Huh?“Darling,” Laura says, picking up Mike’s hand. “I’m almost a hundred thousand pounds in debt and I work it off by being a hooker.”Mike stares at her, feeling everything on his face drop in horror.“Gotta say, I’m really relieved. I was worried when you asked about trying to do my job,” Laura said, patting at his cheek. “Now do you want ice-cream?”“Chocolate,” Mike replies, still staring ahead.Oh god.Xxx“How much do you earn?”Trevor shrugs. He’s lying on the sofa. “I dunno, dude. Enough for rent, suits, chicks and offering up discounts.”Mike debates it. But it’s the job title that gets to him. A drug dealer. For the rest of his life, he’d know he’d been a drug dealer. And maybe having that much access to the merchandise is deeply unwise.“Mike?” Trevor asks, snapping his fingers. “What is it?” When Mike shoots him a confused look, Trevor gestures. “You? You’re a million miles away.”“You know…you know how I was adopted,” Mike says, folding his legs under him. “And then I lived with Harvey? Well, I met my bio mom and she’s…really in debt. Like hugely in debt.”“Not your problem.”“She’s a hooker.”Trevor pulls a face. “I wouldn’t boast about that.”“I’m not…” Mike closes his eyes. “I’ve got two siblings. She’s not a bad person. I have…I have an education that costs more than her debt at this stage. I don’t…how do I just turn up every so often and babysit knowing what she’s having to do.”Trevor looks uncomfortable. “I can give you a job…” he trails off when Mike shakes his head. “What you gonna do then?”“Not sure,” Mike tips his head back to look up at the ceiling. “But I need to figure something out.”Xxx“Hey,” Mike says as Marcus answers the phone. “Um…I wanted some advice.”“Me?” in the background, Mike can hear the sizzle of a pan. “You sure you called the right brother?”“Harvey and I are in the in between stage of our two month catch-up.” Mike says, playing it off. “But…uh… look a friend of mine is looking to open a business. You know, just finishing college and all.”“Mm.”“And you started the restaurant. You must have had some investment.”“Yeah, I had Harvey.”Mike debates it. “Harvey? Back then? Seems like a lot of money.”“He did some work on the side,” Marcus says. “I got a bank deposit from someone called C Forstman. I guess Harvey must have done something. So, maybe tell Harvey that it would make you more inclined to make it a monthly catch-up instead?”C. Forstman. “Yeah. Maybe. Listen, I should talk to Harvey but it’d be easier if this conversation-”“The conversation never happened,” Marcus teases. “But seriously, Mike. Talk to Harvey. He worries about you. And we both know what a diva he’ll be if he gets too many grey hairs.”“It’ll keep his barber happy,” Mike replies. “Thanks, Marcus.”XxxWhen he knocks on Laura’s door the next day, she doesn’t seem surprised to see him.“I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” she sighs as she leads him down the hall. And he can see, on the back of her neck, under where her hair is pulled up, a long bruise and the thought of how she got it makes him shudder. And all those marks that over the years he’s just assumed was from waitressing suddenly become all the more horrific.“Where are Jason and Poppy.”“Jason is out,” Laura says and then shrugs. “He has a job and then…he’s old enough to make his decisions. Poppy is at a friend’s house.”“I have…something.”Laura rolls her head to the ceiling the way Mike knows he does when he’s annoyed. “Mike-”“When my uncle needed money to open a business, my dad went to someone and did some work. And it got me thinking.” Mike shifts around. “I’m top of my class. Have every extra-curricular on my transcript. I’ve already had seven phone calls about jobs for next year.” Laura watches him with a smile on her face. “And I graduate in a year and then I apply for the bar and…it’s not that far away.”“No,” Laura agrees.“It’s called sponsorship. You pay a student money with the idea that later on down the road they’ll benefit you in someway. Jessica Pearson did it with Harvey.”“Harvey pays for Harvard.”“Right, but what if I got a loan-” He breaks off when she sighs and stands. “hear me out. It would be a loan. You can pay me back but no interest and time to get up on your feet. Harvey makes a thousand dollars an hour some days. This…this isn’t me being a martyr or anything. It makes sense. I can pay it back when I get a job and you can pay me back as and when.”Laura folds her arms and studies him. “And this…this is something that you’ve set up.”“I’m going to,” Mike says and he hopes that she can hear how sincere he is. “But I need to know you’ll take it if it works. I don’t need the money. But there’s this guy Harvey went to and I think I know how to persuade him.”Laura fiddles with the hem of her sleeve. “Mike…if I had the money and was debt free I’d leave New York.”“That makes sense.”She barks out a laugh and looks out the window. And he can see she’s tempted.“You telling me that you wouldn’t do it for me? If I was selling myself for money? You wouldn’t give me the money if you had access to it?”Laura’s gaze switches to him and he can’t read her. But then he’s never really tried over the years so it’s not like she’s doing it deliberately. There’s definitely some debate going on in her head.“You want to get Jason out of the city, right?”And he might not be able to read her, but just like that he knows he’s tipped her into agreeing with him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Tracking down Charles Forstman is tricky work. Oh it’s easy enough to figure out where his offices are and the company number but going into his place of work isn’t the way to do this. So Mike uses his bike messenger job to follow the car sometimes, keep tabs on the man and workout the places that he goes to. Where he has breakfast and such like.And then he does something he’s never done before in his life.He trades off Harvey’s name.As he picks up a sandwich, he turns to the booth that Forstman is at and does a double take. “Wait…are you Charles Forstman?”The man doesn’t even lookup from his paper. “Scram, kid.”“I think you and my Dad did some business a while back. Harvey Specter?”The word ‘fascinating’ is half out of Forstman’s lips in the most sarcastic tone known to man and Mike went to the Harvey Specter school of sarcasm as a kid. But at Harvey’s name, he pauses and sits back, travelling his gaze up Mike and then nods to the seat opposite him. “Harvey Specter’s kid, huh?” He tilts his head. “You look a little old.”“He had me when he was nineteen.” Mike loosk around. “And I knew you’d be here.”Forstman looks quietly amused. “Did seem like a coincidence. How is Harv?”“His usual dickhead self.”Forstman chuckles and nods to himself. “You know if he knew where you were he’d hit the roof. We didn’t part on good terms.”“When you gave him money for my uncle’s business?”It makes Forstman shift but not like he’s uncomfortable. It’s more like Mike has got his attention. “Now this is interesting,” he says and Mike knows he’s being studied now. “Because Harvey is making money. Not my kind of money, but enough. And family’s a thing for him so what is it that has you so desperate for cash that you’re seeking me out rather than him?”“Do you care?”Forstman grins. “Oh I can see it now. You’re as cocky as him. Which works if you can back it up. So. Why do you think I’ll have any interest in giving some kid money?”“I was going to point out that I’m graduating next year. From Harvard law, and that I’m currently top of my class,” Mike says and there’s a flutter of nerves in his belly. “And that I’ll earn you back that money within two years and then some but…you hate my dad.”Forstman doesn’t react.“So it’s the same offer,” Mike says, levelling his chin. “But I’m gonna guess that me working for you will really stick it to him. And right now, I couldn’t give a shit if it does.”Forstman’s smile widens. “Go to this address, next Thursday. We’ll talk then. Until then, don’t disturb my breakfast again or you’ll be shit out of luck.”XxxThe house that Mike goes to is huge and has sprawling grounds and a guy at the gate and holy shit this is what Forstman meant about his kind of money and Harvey’s kind of money? He’s led into a huge room that seems way too big for the seating area in it, but hey, each to their own, right?“So what is the story?”“Hmm?”“You. And Harvey. And the money.”“It’s long,” Mike says, still studying the fireplace.“It’s my money. Tell me a story, kid.”Right. “He had me adopted. My birth mom was an addict and she took off. Harvey got me back when I was a teenager. Birth mom came back into the picture too. She needs money. Harvey won’t give it to her.”As he says it, he can feel that he’s losing Forstman. He’s not sure why, but something about what he’s said has actually annoyed the man.“She…she’s in debt. Prostituting herself. I have two siblings and she’s not getting out of that. My…my brother I guess is at the point where in a few months it might be too late to get him out of it as well. I know you don’t care and I know that it sounds like I’m a spoiled brat looking to get back at Daddy, but Harvey won’t help and I can’t not help. I’ll work; I’m good for it. Harvey thinks I might be better than him one day and we both know that he wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”Forstman lifts a hand to his mouth, rubbing at his lips with the back of his forefinger. “I have lawyers,” he says. “Good ones. And maybe you will be great, kid. But you’ll need a few bouts in the real world before you get there. Just the way it is.”He can’t beg. He can’t argue that either. Mike stands, feeling deflated because for a second he really thought he had this.“How much is the debt?” Forstman asks.“Almost a hundred thousand.”Forstman snorts. “I’d wager a fair bit of that is added interest,” he says, sounding amused. “You considered that the person who holds her debt doesn’t want her to pay it off.”“Gonna guess whatever the reason is, it wouldn’t hold up to a hundred grand being on the table.”“True,” Forstman agrees. “You know Harvey has that money and more sitting in his account. To buy in as a senior partner requires five hundred thousand. And your Daddy isn’t one to be caught short.”“You think he’d risk being caught short for an ex-girlfriend that he hates?” Mike lets out a breath. “I’m gonna admit that this is my first negotiations so I can’t tell if you’re sort of interested, amused or just killing time.”“Not the best tactic,” Forstman scolds. “You’ll need to work on that.”What? “You know that sort of sounds like you’re offering me a job.”“I sort of think you’re right,” Forstman mocks. “I’m debating it. In the meantime, there’s a club.” He leans to write down the name. “Go there and turn up for some shifts. You’ll get double the usual pay.”Mike hesitates. “That’s-”“I want to see if you’re a spoiled brat who won’t get his hands dirty or you actually have some work ethic.”Right. “I can do after eight when my other job ends.”Forstman grins, all teeth. “Fantastic.”XxxSo he works at the bar. It’s good money, better paid than anything else that he’s done but Mike is far too aware of how small a dent it will make for Laura.But it’s actually fun. Forstman comes in and they talk a little and Mike works his ass off. The others behind the bar are a good laugh and Mike find himself actually looking forward to work.And he gets laid. There are older women at the bar, but they seem to take a liking to him and Mike is more than happy to oblige because he’s always the baby in his classes and it’s so hard to get girls to see him as something more. Now he’s ‘cool bartender guy’ and he flirts with whatever comes in.The discussion with Forstman are good. The man genuinely seems interested and it’s like having a mentor or something as they talk deals and once or twice Mike gets to sit at the table quietly to watch and then Forstman asks him his opinion afterwards. “Draw it up,” Forstman suggests.“Huh?”“You,” Forstman explains. “Draw up a contract for us. For me getting your services. I want to see what you can do.”Mike grins.XxxForstman gives him a fortnight to create the contract which is beyond insulting. Mike does it the next day and then sets himself the timeline that he’ll check it again next week and again two days before. But he knows it. He’s got this.XxxThe first time he has sex with a guy is at the bar too. And it’s like the women except Mike isn’t exactly expecting it and it takes him way too long to clock on to the fact that the guy is flirting with him. “Aw,” Xavier says, smiling at him. “You haven’t done this before have you?”Mike laughs. “Uh…not with…you,” he says and he hopes it’s kinda clear what he means. “Shame,” Xavier says, standing up. He reaches out and presses a thumb to Mike’s lips. “Those looked good.”Stunned Mike can’t even think up a reply and just grins, confused as Xavier walks away. But the comment stays with him for most of the night and he’s really curious and somehow ends up on his knees in the alleyway outside, condom over the dick as he sucks it.Xxx
Dad. I sucked someone off. Is that okay?
Mike stares at the draft of the message and then deletes it. XxxHe sends over the contract and spend his day off getting high.Xxx“You’re not working today, kid,” Forstman says, slinging an arm around Mike’s shoulders. “Come on.”They drink together and Mike signs the contract and watches Forstman sign with a feeling of absolute pride and glee. He's sorted the situation, made a contact and didn't once need to go to Harvey. XxxHe checks his bank account the next morning and holy shit there it is. One hundred thousand pounds.“Hey,” he says, half drunk still, exhausted and so victorious. “I got the money.”Laura lets out what sounds like a sob. “Thank you.”xxxIt’s almost five in the afternoon when Mike flicks through the contract, feeling pleased with himself. Except on page two there’s a rephrase.His heart suddenly flutters and he sits up, aching head and starts to read not with victory but with panic.Xxx“Will Harvey be at home then if he’s not in the office?”“No. Harvey is at a conference. In Chicago.” Donna sounds disgusted by the whole thing or maybe just with him. “So if I go home and stay there a few days-”“You could maybe try not to use up the milk, tidy up after yourself and have a conversation with your father when he gets back?” she suggests.Mike nods. “Sure. Whatever.” And quickly hangs up before she can berate him.XxxForstman watches him walk into the bar. It’s quiet and Mike isn’t on shift and he’s never really been in this early.“You changed it.”“Yes.”“Is this one of those ‘you need a few real world lessons’ things you were talking about?”Forstman grins. “You got it, kid. If it helps, older and stupider people than you have fallen for it.”Right. “Why is it only for thirty thousand?”Forstman shrugs. “You earned twenty already.”Huh? “You really need to check how much you pay your bar staff, because that is not it.”Forstman just watches him and Mike has a horrible sinking feeling.“You helped entertain clients,” Forstman said. “It’s a bonus.”No.No way.Forstman smiles. “And the fifty is from the business deal you're about to do for me.” And he slips a contract towards Mike. “You offered me advice about this. The merger. You were there. Sign the deal. Otherwise the contract you signed last night is invalid. As stated on page two.”Mike stares at it and clicks his tongue. “I can’t.”“Why?”“Because…” Mike shakes his head. “You know damn well why. “It says ‘lawyer’. If I sign that I’m committing fraud and it’s a deal for three million pounds. And you can’t want me to. Anyone looking at my name will look me up and see how old I am. I’m gonna have a hard time enough as it is next year.”Forstman nods. “If only there was another name you could use. A signature that you were intimately connected to and who could sign. Our contract states that you get the money with completion of this contract, not that you need to be the one to sign it.”Mike blinks. If Forstman wants him to sign Harvey's name then... His mind races through the possibilities. If he does this, it's fraud. But beyond that...Forstman wants Harvey's name on a contract which means...which means the contract in front of Mike is beyond shady. And Forstman has deposited a chunk of money in his back account which is gonna look shit no matter which way it's spun. “I’m just thinking about poor Laura,” Forstman says and then smirks, “Yeah, I looked her up. You know her gig isn’t anywhere near as nice as yours was. She gets thrown in a room, no choice. You got to flirt and smile and get your dick wet. Very enthusiastically from what I’m told.”Mike refuses to react.“And you’ve told her already right? But see, I can get that money back. It’s part of the joys of being in banking. So. Do you want to call her or shall I?”Mike looks down at his phone.The phone.Harvey’s at a conference. In Chicago. If Mike can date it as well then any attempt at Forstman trying to hold Harvey to this will fall apart. And even if Harvey did have a personality transplant and decided to risk his career to protect Mike, he wouldn’t be able to.If Mike can date it.He reaches for the contract and flips through, scanning as quickly as he can and thank god Forstman never asked him about his talents in this. It’s the merger deal that Forstman mentioned all right, but there’s a hefty deal of tax evasion and Mike suspects that a lot of this information has come from insider trading but he wouldn’t know one hundred percent. There’s a name involved and Mike knows he’s seen it in some of Harvey’s old case files from his time at the DA and Forstman really does think that he’s about to get Harvey.If Donna was telling the truth.Mike never went to the apartment and he wouldn’t put it past Donna to lie, just to get him there. On the other hand, he’d been the one to call.“Tick tock, kid.”“I need some spare paper,” Mike says, gesturing and Forstman smirks and hands him a scrap.Harvey’s signature is stupidly complex (probably to avoid moments such as these) and Mike takes a deep breath, glancing at the contract. He has a go and it’s close but not great. “I do have a copy of his signature,” Forstman says and looks at a piece of paper. “I know.” Mike glares up. “I’ve actually never forged it before. Give me a sec.” He writes out numbers, copying the way that Harvey makes his 0s and 4s which are all kinds of weird and deformed in Mike’s opinion. He transfers the numbers to the date section when he thinks it’s right. 08/04/2010. And the smallest mark next to the last 0.And then he signs it. Forstman smiles and turns to nod to Jeff on the bar and Mike snaps a picture with his phone. Forstman, the contract, the signature and the date and the mark.Forstman doesn’t even realise.XxxHe’s in a daze.He goes with Laura to set up the transfer and lets her take care of it. He has a contract enforced there too so that no-one can come after Laura. He makes sure that it doesn’t name him as a lawyer, rather as a witness and that it says she and the guy called Tucker Fray know that a law student has drafted the contract. Tucker Fray looks stunned but more than happy to swap Laura’s hooker status for a shit load of cash.She hugs him and he nods and detangles himself and he knows that she’s asking what’s wrong but he can’t. Just gets in a taxi and goes to Harvey’s and-It’s empty. There’s a calendar on the fridge and Chicago is on the week. Harvey’s been there for three days and won’t be back for another two and it’s probably as close to a holiday as he can get.Mike snaps a picture of that too and makes copies and saves them and prints them and he’ll die a death before Forstman can use that signature.He throws up in the sink.Xxx“Are you all right?” Laura asks.Mike nods and then shakes his head. She reached for him and he stares at her hand and he feels…Nothing.She isn’t his mom. He hasn’t miraculously found Nina Ross in her. Or saved her. She was already looking at a new house and is making an offer in Massachusetts and –Oh. He is so fucking stupid.“How close to a hundred thousand was it?”She pulls her hand back.“Eighty four,” she says after a moment. "The debt...it was at eighty four."Eighty four.He nods and stands. “Mike, I just...you never asked," Laura says and she sounds panicked. "I wanted to get set up. I got a house by-”He walks out and he can figure out what the next words would be, but he can't bring himself to careXxxHe can’t bear to see Harvey. It’s like Mike’s convinced that one look in his direction and Harvey will just know.So instead, he sits on Trevor’s sofa and gets stoned out of his mind and misses the first week of classes.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mike avoids ethics class like it invented the plague. Well, actually, to be fair, he avoids most of his classes now. He still completes assignments and ranks high even without going and he’s built up enough credit that he can take some hits.But ethics. Those questions.
Are you a prostitute if you didn’t realise that’s what you were doing?
Is it all right to forge someone’s signature for a shady deal if you’re ninety-eight percent certain that it can’t hurt that person.
Who should you be loyal to?
Is it all right to break a contract that you created if it means dealing with Charles Forstman?
It occurs to him that Forstman is just screwing with him. That he’s given Mike all the money anyway and it costs him nothing to claim that this portion was from this and that part from that. For a man like Forstman, spending twenty grand just to fuck with someone’s mind is probably money well spent.
It doesn’t stop Mike from adding it up.
He worked at the bar for forty three shifts in total. Twenty nine of them ended in some form of sex. All of them involved him flirting and what was it that Forstman called it? Entertaining? Right. 20,000 divided by twenty nine is six hundred and eighty nine dollars and sixty-five cents. If he adjusts that and figures that every night he earned roughly fifty dollars for ‘entertaining’ that would be two thousand, one hundred and fifty.
He’s worth six hundred and fifteen dollars and fifty-two cents. That’s how much having sex with him is worth.
And he doesn’t get why it bothers him. He enjoyed it. He had fun. He was pleased about it. And Harvey bills a thousand dollars an hour some days so what’s the problem. It’s a pretty high value.
He hasn’t spoken to Laura. And she called him a grand total of three times which is, to be fair, three more times than Harvey managed but he feels no worry about it. Laura will slip out of his life like she came in and he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get why he was so concerned for her and now couldn’t give a shit.
He genuinely has no interest in seeing her again.
“You’re thinking way too much,” Jimmy says, clasping him on the shoulder. “Come on, man. Let’s get you out.”
Mike allows it. And gets soaring drunk and has sex and-
It goes so badly. He’s overthinking and he can’t get it up and she’s an undergrad who loses patience with him and slams out of his bedroom.
He can’t do this.
Xxx
Exams come and go. He does fine. The thing is, he could probably do fine if someone had hopped him up on heroin and made him take the exams upside down.
He heads back to New York for the holidays. Sits in Trevor’s flat and smokes which is becoming a typical pastime for him. There’s a message about going to Marcus’ for Christmas.
Whatever.
“Yo, do I know you?” Trevor asks someone at the door. And then yelps. And Mike sits up because he knows exactly who has that sort of effect on people.
Harvey strides in, takes one look at the living room and then jabs a hand at the hallway. “Get your ass outside. Now.”
Mike glares up at him, but he’s way too stoned to actually argue or do anything. Sluggishly, he stands and does as he’s told.
“Uh…”
Harvey whirls around on Trevor. “I swear to God, I will have you in prison and looking at so much legal bitch slaps that you won’t be able to so much as buy a hot dog in New York. You got that?”
Trevor nods, wide-eyed.
Xxx
Harvey shoves him into the car and starts driving, his jaw clenched with fury.
Mike stares out the window. And then scowls when he realises that they’re back at Harvey’s.
He has no energy left to argue or even question it. They head up in the elevator and Mike heads towards his room only to be grabbed roughly by Harvey who says nothing but drags him into the bathroom, fumbles on the shower and then shoves Mike under it.
The shock of it makes him stumble and he tries to get out of the shower, but Harvey steps up behind him and stands him under the spray. It’s cold and it hurts and Mike flails around but Harvey doesn’t move even though he must be soaking wet by now.
The jarring movements and the sudden cold and the questionable pizza Mike’s been eating for a few days combine and Mike has only a few seconds warning to turn his head and vomit into the corner of the shower.
Harvey continues to hold him steady. And Mike is fully dressed and soaked and vomiting in the shower and he’s twenty two years old.
And he costs six hundred and fifteen dollars and fifty-two cents.
The thought makes him cry. Not heaving sobs, just adding to the water that’s crashing down his face. And he doesn’t care suddenly.
So he turns and buries his head in his dad’s shoulder.
And Harvey…Harvey lets him. Doesn’t say a word about the fact that Mike has vomit down him or is a mess. He just strokes Mike’s hair and lets Mike cry it out.
Xxx
It’s forty minutes later and Mike is sat on the sofa, wrapped in his dad’s robe, hair damp and staring at nothing.
“Here,” Harvey says, handing him some water.
“I assume we’re meant to be at Marcus’ right now?” Mike asks hoarsely.
“He’ll live,” Harvey says, sitting on the table in front of him. “Is that your typical Thursday night?”
Mike shrugs. “Pretty much. Without the puking.” He sits back, trying to put some distance between them. “You did warn me, right? Addictive personality.”
“You think I’m gonna say ‘told you so’?”
Mike shrugs.
Harvey moves and Mike refuses to look and-
And then his dad is next to him and pulling Mike under his arm and it’s like a button’s been pushed or something because it immediately makes Mike cry again. And this is true ugly crying.
“Tell me,” Harvey says into his damp hair. “Tell me and I’ll fix it.”
Mike shakes his head.
“Mike…” Harvey lifts his chin. “Something has happened. Tell me.”
God, he can’t. If he tells Harvey then…
God no. He ducks his head back down and he’s not small enough to hide under Harvey’s chin, but he manoeuvres himself to manage it as best he can.
“Did you know Laura was a hooker?”
There’s along silence that Mike takes as a no and Harvey keeps rubbing up and down Mike’s back like he’s a baby to be soothed.
It’s so quiet in Harvey’s apartment. He never realised that before, but it is.
Eventually, Harvey leans his head back a little and looks away. And then sighs and brings Mike back in for a hug. “How much?” he asks with surprising calm.
“How much of a hooker?” Do they do it in percentages? Is that what Mike should do?”
“How much does she need?” Harvey asks and he sounds strangely reassuringly calm.
No.
Stunned, Mike pulls back. “What?”
Harvey watches him. “Unless she’s doing it for shits and giggles. She needs money, right? How much does she need?”
“She left,” Mike says, trying to get away from this because there’s no way it would have been that simple. Maybe Harvey’s just being weird because Mike was sick. “Dad, she’s gone.”
And he means…he means that she’s gone so that issue is now gone. But Harvey huffs and shakes his head and then is up, on his feet, and pacing.
“I knew it,” he mutters. “I knew…this is why I didn’t want her anywhere near you. That selfish, manipulative…” he looks at Mike. “You gave her money, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” Mike stares at the table. “I didn’t…you would have given her money?” His mind can’t get away from it as much as he tries. “What happened to not helping her if you were by a tap and she was on fire?”
“She was standing next to you,” Harvey says and he looks like he wants to throw something. “She’s gone?”
Mike nods. “I don’t…I don’t get why I clung to her,” he admits and braves looking up at Harvey. “I can’t work it out.”
“She played you,” Harvey says, but he sounds a bit more sympathetic than he does accusatory. “It’s what Laura does.”
Maybe. Mike can’t quite bring himself believe it or to even care about that. And Harvey stares at him and seems to concede something. “Which,” he admits as he sits down on the sofa, “She wouldn’t have been able to do if things weren’t shit between us.”
“Dad-”
“You said I didn’t get it,” Harvey pushes. “What didn’t I get?”
“I don’t-”
“Mike.”
“I don’t even know,” Mike whispers. “You…you’re better at arguing. And I just…I don’t know how to get everything across.”
Harvey actually presses his lips together. “You wanna try?”
“You... you weren’t there,” Mike says. “You never called me. I just…you moved out and you weren’t there and-” he cuts himself off. “You’re my dad. You were meant to chase after me. But you’ve never done that. Not even when I was a kid.”
Harvey stands up and looks like he's gonna walk away to get a drink or something, but seems to think better of it. Instead, he stares down at Mike. “You ran away so I would chase after you?”
For fuck sakes. “When you put it like that,” Mike snaps.
“I’m trying to…” Harvey steels himself. “I’m trying to understand. You wanted attention so you left?”
Mike glares at the dead television screen. He can practically feel Harvey staring at him and thinking it over and then the man swears.
“It’s stupid-” Mike tries to defend.
“Do you remember Mel?”
Mel? “Social worker Mel?” Mike asks, confused. “Yeah?”
“She told me once that you would…push back. That you’d try to end relationships before someone ended them.” Harvey looks annoyed. “I thought…I sort of thought we’d gotten past that when you were twelve.”
Mike doesn’t know what to say.
“In all the time you’ve been back with me, have I ever implied you are anything but my son?”
Mike shakes his head.
“And up until you left, did I ever give you any indication that I would walk away from you?”
“I’m sorry-”
“Kid, I’m not looking for an argument. I’m asking a question. Did I ever give you any indication that I would walk away from you?”
And the answer bubbles up before Mike can help it. “You did the last time Grandpa let you down and wasn’t there. You literally gave me away and went back to your life then.”
He doesn’t mean it like an attack. And the shock on Harvey’s face hurts him because he didn’t want to cause pain, but as soon as he says it, he realises it’s what terrified him.
That wall. That impenetrable wall that was always around Harvey became painfully unignorable when Gordon died and he’d thought-
“I was a stupid kid,” Harvey breaths. “I was a stupid kid who…” he breaks off. And they just stare at each other. Mike knows his eyes are wide and afraid and Harvey seems stunned for the first time ever.
“You always…it was a sequence of events,” Mike says to the floor. “Laura left and Lily left and Gordon wasn’t great and then I had to go.”
Harvey slowly walks over looking like he’s aged a decade.
“I can’t,” he says and Mike looks at his face, surprised. “I can’t explain to you what it was like.”
“Right-”
“And when I say that, kid. I mean…I physically can’t. But the day I signed and they drove off with you was the worst day of my life.” Harvey clenches his jaw. “And I swore to you once that you wouldn’t be without a voice. Well, I swore to myself that I would never be that weak or powerless again. Everything I have is to avoid ever being in that situation again, kid.”
Mike stares at him, not sure if he’s actually hearing what he’s hearing. But he nods slowly. “I…that…I get that. I do,” he adds when it seems like Harvey’s about to say something. “We just…we’ve never really talked about that stuff.”
Harvey shakes his head. “There’s not a lot of point. It’s done.” He clenches his jaw and Mike can see him almost re-building himself. “I don’t get at what point your brain went there.”
“We weren’t speaking,” Mike mumbles. “I…I don’t even know how long it took you to get to the apartment when Gordon died.”
“I was…” Harvey hesitates. “I didn’t want to break down in front of you. And when we got there you were in shock. You barely responded to anything that night. And the next morning you were quiet which I get. You’d sat in the apartment with a dead body.”
“You didn’t speak to me-”
“Yes, I did.” Harvey is absolute about that. “What? You think I walked in, saw that you’d been sitting with the dead body and just ignored you for the night?”
“I don’t forget things,” Mike snaps. “I don’t forget anything and you didn’t. I don’t know what you did but you didn’t-”
“You were in the chair. You’d been sick. You were pale. I went to the EMTs, asked them what needed to happen. Looked at Dad. Then I asked about you. You needed water, to be kept warm and we sat in your bedroom the whole night.”
Mike shakes his head. He’d remember that. It was what he’d wanted so badly. He’d have remembered it.
“You were in shock,” Harvey says again. “You know what the effects of that are, right?”
“Memory loss,” Mike mumbles.
“Yeah,” Harvey says and he reaches for the glass of water that Mike had earlier and takes a sip. “You couldn’t have just asked?”
“I…” Mike shifts and draws himself up. “Sometimes I can. Sometimes you make it hard. There’s just a general…you-ness. You don’t exactly invite the idea that people can question you.”
Harvey pauses and then takes another sip. “That’s been engineered,” he admits. “I’ll…pull back on that at home.” He seems to debate something. “But if you want to be a lawyer in New York then you and I are going to clash and you need to find a way through it.”
“Can we get home stuff better and then discuss what might happen in my future.”
Harvey seems to agree to that. And he sits on the arm of the sofa and pulls Mike in close. “I love you,” he says and Mike smiles into his chest because that’s such a Harvey thing to do; to say it and not be seen saying it. “I’m sorry I didn’t...I dropped the ball, kid. And I’m sorry.”
Sorry?
Did…did Harvey just apologise?
Stunned, Mike almost tries to look up, but that probably really would be pushing his luck. “Love you too, Dad,” he says and feels something in him finally settle.
Xxx
Why the fuck they couldn’t have had that talk months ago, Mike has no idea.
The next day, in the car as they drive to Marcus’ (and Mike is under no illusions as to why they’re driving because Harvey wants to a) tackle Mike’s issues about cars which are practically not a thing in New York and b) have some sort of weird father-son bonding trip which consists of him channelling Gordon to quiz Mike on all sorts of old music trivia), Mike can’t help but imagine it.
They’d have talked things out, Harvey would have given Mike the money-
Wrong.
They’d have talked things out, Harvey would have offered the money, found out about Laura’s debt and swooped in like he was Bruce Wayne with just a hint of Batman and then he probably would have tested Laura in some way and Mike would know if it was a trick or-
God. Time machines. Seriously. Who has a patent out on those things.
He imagines it. Turning to Harvey right now and telling him about Forstman and the deal and the sex and the fraud and-
He looks over. He’d never say that Harvey ever looked bad (he’s pretty sure that’s the kind of comment that would get him disinherited), but Harvey has always looked like he was carrying a burden in more recent years and now? Now, he’s grinning and teasing and this is Mike’s Dad back.
Ignorance is bliss, right?
They get to Marcus’s just before evening and it occurs only as they’re pulling up that Mike hasn’t seen the brothers together since Gordon’s funeral. But it’s all smiles and hugs and there’s no tension around the table as they eat together and they all laugh at the baby as he tosses carrots around like they’re streamers. Kate and Mike don’t smoke this year and Harvey sticks close to Mike.
“So, still beating Harvey then?” Marcus asks.
“Hmm?”
“Harvey,” Marcus says and the man himself raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “He graduated fifth. What are you, still shaping up to be first?”
Oh.
Shit.
Xxx
He laughed and joked with them and covered it. Why would they look for anything different?
Ethics.
He’s pretty sure he’s failed it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
There’s not much Mike can do over the holidays. If Harvey finds out that he’s failed ethics because he didn’t turn up to class, he’ll lose his shit and they’re finally in a good place.And if Harvey finds out Mike hasn’t gone to class, he’ll ask why and then…well…Mike can’t quite predict how Harvey will react to that. Or rather, whether it would be Mike he’d kill or Forstman.Seems wiser to keep quiet for now.They leave Marcus’ after a few days and head back to New York. And Mike’s been screwing himself over royally because Harvey’s TV is massive and brilliant and Harvey rolls his eyes at Mike, but smiles a little. It’s…easy. Easier than Mike had thought to live with Harvey again. xxx“I’ll be back later,” Mike calls at the door.“Dinner?” Harvey asks and he’s doing his tie because he’s him and he doesn’t like days off. “Uh…”Like a bloodhound, Harvey’s head snaps up to him. “You are not going to see Trevor.”Mike stares at him. And then slowly puts his keys on the counter. “I’m not going to get high.”Harvey fiddles with his tie, but stops and doesn’t pull on the waistcoat. “It’s been a week. You don’t need the temptation.”There’s a certain sense in it, but Mike needs to get out; he needs to escape and clear his head. And he just wants to talk to his friend. “I won’t get high,” he repeats.Harvey isn’t even a little bit happy about it, Mike can tell. “Dinner,” Harvey repeats. “Seven.”That is early for Harvey. Mike makes an indecisive noise which just makes Harvey look painfully and reluctantly amused.“I’m also not twelve,” Mike reminds Harvey firmly.“I know,” Harvey replies, turning to his waistcoat. “I remember New Year’s with you when you were twelve.”“Which,” Mike says, reaching for his keys again, “should make you remember how fortunate you are right now. I haven’t sneezed on a suit in years.”Harvey hums, probably having some sort of PTSD flashback of that day. “You get tempted-”“I know. Leave-”“Call,” Harvey corrects. “And leave. Try doing a combo.”Mike salutes as he walks out.Xxx
December – Ten Years Ago.
“-fed and watered and still hasn’t died,” Harvey says into the phone, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. His dad had gone to Marcus’ and then on to meet some old friends for a gig over New Years and it’s been six days and Harvey has managed fine.Ish.“Is that down to him or you?” his dad teases.“Well, he hasn’t left his pit before mid-day,” Harvey says, pouring coffee. “Everything set up at the club?”His Dad launches into an in-depth chat about the club and the band and the woman that he got drunk with last night which Harvey desperately does not need to hear about. He listens with half an ear as he gets ready to go into work. Towards the end, he bangs on Mike’s door.Nothing.“Uh-huh,” he says as he runs a washcloth under the tap. “Dad, I gotta go wake up Mike. I’ll talk to you later.”“Be nice.”Yeah whatever, Harvey thinks as he ends the call. He picks up a bowl and lets the washcloth lay inside as he walks into Mike’s room. The kid is hugging a pillow, mouth open and snoring. Harvey holds the washcloth over the kids face and starts to drip water over him.It takes a few seconds and then Mike snuffles and wriggles away, blinking up at Harvey with annoyance.“Get up,” Harvey says firmly.“No,” Mike complains, pulling the duvet up over his head. “Tired.”“How? You’ve slept for almost twelve hours.”“Feel weird.”Oh no. “Get up,” Harvey says and he actually physically reaches for the kid. “In the shower.”Mike’s awake now and his hair is in spikes from where he’s been rolling around and Harvey has a moment to think how cute the kid looks with flushed cheeks and big eyes and he leans into Harvey, obviously on the cusp of coming down with something and therefore too tired to care about how cool and grown-up he looks.The kid goes into the shower without complaint while Harvey rifles through the cupboards. The kid’s off to a friend’s house for the day while Harvey takes some meetings and gets caught up on some case research and he needs this. Thankfully, Mike hasn’t seemed to workout that, by the afternoon, he’s probably gonna have a full blown cold and Harvey has no problem taking advantage of that.Still. He makes tea and slips in some medicine into some juice and loads the kid’s breakfast up with as much fruit as he can reasonably shove down Mike’s throat. Mike seems to accept it with a fuzzy complacency that Harvey kinda wishes happened more often.He drops the kid off at a friends and then hightails it out of there as quickly as possible.He has probably about seven hours if he’s lucky.Xxx
December – Present Day
Trevor says that he’ll be free later and Mike kicks out at the trash on the sidewalk in frustration. It sucks and he finds himself wandering aimlessly before he heads to a coffee shop and he picks up a book from one of the shops with their holiday sales and just settles in.He’s engrossed when someone sits opposite him. He’s aware of it, and he kinda just accepts it because it’s a free country and the book in his hands usually wards most people off of starting conversation.But he can feel eyes on him.When he peeks up over the top of his book, an elegant woman is sat opposite him. She’s tall, her clothes are probably like the female version of Harvey’s in terms of their elegance and style and she’s watching him as she sips at her coffee.And he knows her face.“Do you remember me?” she asks.“Yeah,” Mike says, putting the book down slowly. “You…you’re Jessica. I mean Ms Pearson.”There’s no surprise in her eyes, just…he doesn’t know. There’s definitely something going on her head, but he doesn’t know what it is.“Harvey hadn’t mentioned that you were staying with him over the holidays.”It’s a statement, yet he feels some strange urge to explain and that, he’ll realise within the year, is part of her vast array of super powers. “I…it wasn’t planned. But yes.”“You’ve made up.”Mike slowly places the book on the table, his mind racing. “Mostly. We’re getting there. Did he-”“Sit down and have a conversation about his feelings with his boss?”Yeah, okay. Maybe not. “You keep tabs on him though.”She smiles and it seems genuine. Friendly. “I do. I keep track on all of my stars. Present and future.”“Huh.” Mike nods and then catches her looking at him. “Wait…uh…” He shifts. “Are you…when you say future?”“Yes?” she asks and this time it’s a very clear prompt.“Um…I…I’m not,” God this is embarrassing because he’s used to Harvey pushing and shoving and someone who just taps at him and then manoeuvres is beyond him. “Did you mean to imply that I’d end up working for you?”Jessica actually looks around as if for someone to share her amusement. “Do you think I do anything by mistake?”“No,” Mike says quickly and then squirms. “Not gonna lie though, this surely is making you think twice.”“Top of his class, Moot trial champion, flying through classes, impressing professors and law firms.” Jessica sits back. “And yet, I’ve not seen your application on my desk. In fact, as I hear, you’ve done no internships, no meetings with any firms and what amounts to the most disappointing fall term performance that any professor can remember.”Oh. Shit.He doesn’t ask if Harvey knows because if Harvey knew, Mike would currently be being yelled at. But if Jessica knows then Harvey isn’t gonna be too far behind. “So why are you here?” Mike asks.She studies him without rushing, or seeming concerned. “You becoming a lawyer in New York is a dangerous concept. If you work elsewhere, Harvey will be unbearable at the idea of someone else teaching his son his trade. He’d be competitive to show off and prove a point and Harvey is…difficult enough without that. But if you work for me, you open up a weakness. But at least it’s one I can manage and it’s probably the option that ends up with you as a better lawyer and with a better relationship.” She looks down at the book that he’s reading. “Except you seem determined to throw it all away. And I want to know why.”Mike shifts his feet under the table. “How far does this conversation go?”“As far as I think it needs to.”Right. “You know about Laura?”Jessica sits back. “Pretend that I don’t. Explain it as if to someone who didn’t know.”It rings a little close to his meeting with Forstman. But Mike pushes through and steels himself. “When I was a baby, my biological mother left and my father tried to raise me alone.” He can hear how it sounds and hesitates. “He gave me up for adoption with the help of a brilliant lawyer.” It works. Jessica tips her head in amusement.“And then when my adoptive parents died, my father took me back in and I lived with my father and grandfather. I went to an amazing school, went to college early. Had everything paid for. Was encouraged.”“Sounds like a charmed life.”He looks at her. And he kinda admires what she’s doing even if it is a few weeks too late.“But my father…when we first met he told me about Sparrows. How they protect their young and let themselves be pecked at. And I don’t think he ever realised that as I got older, he could ease off of that. So when my biological mother returned, he never…showed me how much that hurt. All I saw was a woman who had nothing when he had everything.” Mike folded the napkin idly. “So I helped her. At the expense of my relationship with my father because I didn’t know how to speak to him or he to me. I helped her and would spend my summers babysitting or working to give her money. And he hated it. And then I worked at the expense of my studies.”“Bullshit.”He jerks and looks up.“You can read books and recite pages. The whole thing I imagine. You’ve been studying law with one of the best legal minds in the city at your disposal. Bullshit.” She raises her chin and she looks so much like a queen that Mike draws in a worried breath. “Tell me the truth or this conversation is over.”“I got cocky. I got distracted and I got stupid.”“That’s more in-line with the truth,” Jessica allows.“I helped Laura,” Mike says when the silence stretches on expectantly between them, “And then…I just…she left but I walked away.” When Jessica continues to wait, Mike draws in a sigh and wow is this a lesson in the power of silence. “She…I just…I didn’t find my mom or save her.”“Nina Ross, you mean?”“James and Harvey…they…they were different but balanced. They’re both my Dad but Laura…” Mike shakes his head. “I kept expecting after a while to…find something. And I never did. And it wore me out. And what had I risked my relationship with Harvey for?” He winced because that still kept him up at night, especially since seeing that flicker of hurt from HarveyJessica seems to consider that. A genuine consideration and Mike forces himself to sit back and wait for her as she did for him.“So you stewed emotionally for an entire term.”It’s a statement. And a challenge and Mike has a feeling that the words have been picked deliberately.“Yes.”There’s a small jerk of surprise in her face. “Have you learned from it?”Mike nods instantly. “Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t change shit. Not asking for help is dumb.”Her lips twitch. “Teach your father that last one, would you?”Mike ducks his head to hide the grin, but he’s sure she’s seen it.“You could go and work elsewhere,” Jessica says as she takes another sip of her coffee. “You’d have a completely unbiased experience and could probably find an impressive mentor. And Harvey will hate it and target you and make it his mission to win so that he’s still the most impressive lawyer in your world. Your self-esteem will take a blow and Harvey will fling himself around. “You could come and work for me.” She puts the cup down and reaches for her bag. “Not under Harvey, but I’d let him have some say in your education. You’ve experienced Harvey’s mentoring. You could work as an associate in my firm and I’ll probably use you to control Harvey’s more impulsive decisions and you can pick up on the more successful ways to battle against him.”“You want us to battle.”“No,” Jessica stands up. “I want two stars. And for that to happen, you’d have to be able to stand your ground.” She pauses. “And Mike?”“Mm?”“Get your shit together,” she orders and then turns with the smallest smile and walks away.He stares after her and nods. “Yes ma’am,” he says and then sits back, stunned.Xxx
December - Ten years ago
The kid is sick.Harvey hangs up the call where the parent of Mike’s friend has phoned him, very concerned and Harvey nearly rolls his eyes because the kid has a cold, not a mortal wound and this woman seems to have nothing else to do other than fuss.Donna isn’t around. His Dad is still out of the state. Marcus has a baby and isn’t gonna suddenly teleport and having a kid in at the office is probably frowned upon, especially when his nose is dripping.He needs to take a sick day.Harvey hates the idea. Being sick is being weak and taking a sick day is announcing that.The only other option is leaving the office, picking Mike up and dumping him at home alone.He can’t. He just… He can’t do that.He heads up to Jessica’s office, inwardly furious and not sure where to direct it. It’s hardly Mike’s fault that he got sick at the worst time of the year. Maybe he let the kid stay up too long or another one of those kids was sick when Mike went over for the day…Which he can’t really complain about given that he sent the kid over to someone’s house knowing that he was sick.He knocks on the glass as he walks in. The office is almost silent; it’s quieter at this time of year. Those that are still in are what Harvey considers his competition and the people that he respects.None more so than Jessica.He doesn’t see her look up. “You don’t have the briefs on you.”Harvey squares up to her desk. “No.”She looks up now. “Daniel was very specific about the deadline.”Daniel Hardman can take a flying fuck. “I have to go home. Take a sick day,”Jessica taps her pen on the paper that she was working on and sits back. “You don’t look sick.”He stares at her. “You wanna blood test and a doctor’s note?” he asks sarcastically.“I want the briefs done.”“I’ll work from home.”“So you’re not sick.”“I’m taking a sick day.”Jessica waves the pen. “As is your right. I’ll pass the briefs to Louis.”That sticks in his throat. But he doesn’t know how long Mike will be sick for. “If you wanna have them done three times with excessive whining and bitching,” he says, casual as you please. “I want them done.”Yeah, this refrain is getting boring. Harvey just nods. “I’ll leave them on his desk when I leave.”Along with some clever present.Xxx
December -Present Day
Harvey has stupidly expensive taste and Mike barely manages to get through the door at the restaurant that he’s picked. “I met Jessica again,” Mike says as he sits down. Harvey’s opposite, studying a wine list the way that you might study court cases and Mike has no idea why because he’s not exactly gonna know the difference.Harvey peers up at him, assesses him and then shuts the wine menu with a decisive snap. “If you tell me that she was buying from Trevor-”“No.” Mike scrunches up his nose. “Why are we here anyway? You know how much this place costs?”Harvey looks almost baffled at the idea. “I’m not eating crap,” is all he says. “So where did you see Jessica?”“At Starbucks.”Now his father looks insulted. “Starbucks,” he mutters under his breath.“She wants me to work at Pearson Hardman.”Harvey interrupts his bitch fest about coffee to suddenly tune into Mike with such focus that it’s massively unnerving. And, in a move that Mike now realises is trademark Jessica Pearson, sits back and looks thoughtful.“She wouldn’t let me work directly for you,” Mike adds because that’s beyond important to get across.Harvey sniffs. “That’s negotiable,” he decides.“There’s a job from Breton Gould-”“Don’t go there,” Harvey complains. “Their standards are piss poor. It’d be a waste.”“Okay. Where should I go?”Harvey opens his mouth and then actually seems to think about it. To the point where, when a server comes over, Harvey just points at the wine list and doesn’t even try to be charming which is a thankful first for Mike.“Are you genuinely thinking about this?”Harvey nods and Mike rolls his head back to stare at the ceiling as if that might offer some divine intervention.Xxx
December – Ten Years Ago.
“You,” Jessica says as Harvey opens the door, “are really starting to be a pain in the ass, Harvey. And-” she comes to an abrupt stop and Harvey knows that she’s staring.On the sofa, just in view and buried in a bundle of blankets, is Mike. By the time Harvey had gotten to him the day before, he’d been in full blown snot mode. And the night had been him hacking away with a cough and the morning had been Harvey pouring any concoction down the kids throat to get him better.Slowly, Harvey closes the door, not really sure how to play this. “You got him back,” Jessica says and her voice is much softer now. “Charlie.”“Mike,” Harvey says, folding his arms and leaning against the door. “They changed his name to Mike and then died in a car accident.” And Mike’s out of it enough that he doesn’t have to worry about how judgemental his tone is. Jessica doesn’t take issue with him lumping those two facts together as if they’re linked. “How long?”“Sixteen months.” She turns from staring at Mike to stare at Harvey. “Your Dad is helping,” she decides.“Yeah.” He reaches for a cabinet and Jessica comes back over as he pulls out a bottle of scotch. “He’s at a gig. He’ll be back in three days. Kid got sick.”He takes out two tumblers and pours a generous shot, pushing hers towards her and then taking a deep sip of his own.“Kids do that,” Jessica replies slowly.“In sixteen months, I haven’t dropped the ball once.”“You can’t afford to drop the ball once with all the shit you pull,” she corrects, but she takes a sip and leans her hip against a counter. “Single parents and this profession don’t tend to mix well.”Harvey draws in a deep breath and takes another sip. “Another reason to keep his existence quiet,” he says. “Look, it’s bad timing. Donna isn’t in the city and neither is my dad and Marcus just had a new baby.”“And then the kid just needed you to watch a play and then you just had to look after him with the chicken pox-”“You discriminating against single parents?”“I’m being realistic, Harvey,” Jessica says. “No client wants a lawyer who isn’t there. That’s not how this works. Not in this league.”Harvey stares down at the liquid in the glass and swirls it. “I’m doing this,” he says and levels his chin. “You wanna go at me for dropping the ball yesterday, then go for it. But I’ll still be the best goddamn lawyer in the building even with the kid.”“The best?”“The best you’ve got,” Harvey adjusts without batting an eyelid. “I can do that and do this.”“Harvey?” Mike croak out from the sofa and he can just see hands flailing. But Harvey stares at Jessica and doesn’t let a single thing show on his face until she rolls her eyes and gestures him towards his son.The kid is trying to detangle himself. “Wanna go to bed,” Mike mumbles and his hair looks like he jammed his hand in a socket and his eyes are closing already and he looks pale and miserable.Yeah. Bed is a good plan. Ducking down, Harvey lifts the kid onto his hip and Mike rests his head on Harvey’s shoulder which means the entire shirt will have to be dry-cleaned for the kid’s snot.“Harvey?”He turns and looks over at Jessica, half-dreading whatever point she’s going to make, but determined to see it through all the same.Her gaze drifts to his son and Harvey shifts the kid a little. He’s already too big to really be doing this with, but Harvey can manage him for a couple of minutes.She reaches into her bag and pulls out the blue folders. “I need the briefs by end of day Tuesday.”That’s three days away and then his dad is back on Tuesday. Harvey nods and the movement brushes his chin against Mike’s sweaty hair.“It suits you,” she says suddenly and there’s almost something envious in her voice and Harvey find himself looking down at Mike. His son is already out of it and his hand clenches into Harvey’s shirt and he’s a bit like a koala bear.“You might be the first person to say that to me,” he admits. “You won’t say anything at the office or to Hardman?”She smiles. “That Harvey Specter spends his time letting a small child sniffle into his very expensive shirts and rocks him to sleep like a pro? Who the hell would believe me?”Yeah.Mike lifts his head, apparently not quite out of it as Harvey thought. “Not sniffling,” he mumbles, cross. “Or small.”The smile wobbles a little, like Jessica’s holding back a laugh. “Enjoy your karma, Harvey,” she says as she heads to the door.Xxx
December – Present day
“Jessica.”Mike snorts. “You mean you?”“No,” Harvey says and he sounds actually sincere. “Jessica. If she thinks it’s the best place for you, then it is.”Huh. “You trust her that much?”Slowly, Harvey nods. “I really do, kid. She won’t coddle you and she’ll tell you like it is. But…if you’re hers and she sees a weakness…she makes it into a strength.”If anyone could do that, it would be her. Mike stares at the menu and then nods. “Then I will give it some thought,” he allows. He looks up, a little crafty, “What’s your greatest weakness then?”Harvey just plucks the menu from Mike’s hands. “That’s cheating,” he says. “And believe me, kid, it isn’t one that you could ever use against me.”“It’s sex, isn’t it?” Mike complains.“Think you’ll find that’s your weakness, not mine,” Harvey says as he studies the menu. He peers up at Mike, briefly. “Do your own audit. Deal with what you can. Jessica will hammer out the rest.”Weaknesses.He’s failed Ethics?The thought makes Mike click his tongue. “What do you think my biggest weaknesses are?”Harvey grins into the menu. “You got a pen and ten hours.”Mike kicks at him and Harvey raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?” Mike prompts.“You care too much. You’ll get taken advantage of a few times.” Harvey shrugs. “You’ll either get better at that or you won’t. But we can use it to our advantage. You rarely listen to advice-”“I rarely listen to your advice,” Mike corrects.“I’ll be your superior. You’ll have to.” Harvey puts the menu down. “You’ll be younger. Less mature.” He takes a breath. “And your need for approval is problematic.”Mike shifts, trying to swallow that and absolutely prove Harvey wrong because he is so not immature. “Fortunately,” Harvey says, “You and I overlap in not listening to other people and being stubborn so we’ve got experience of that.” He gestures to the server and orders food for them both and Mike would butt in but Harvey knows what he likes.“And believe me kid, you are stubborn,” Harvey says apropos of nothing.“Is this the list again?”“Strengths,” Harvey says and the leans back as the wine is poured. “You need to be stubborn and tenacious. You have that in spades.”“This doesn’t feel like a good list.”Harvey shrugs. “You’re quicker than me. You can think your way out of a problem. You’re likeable. Seem earnest.”“Seem?”“You being earnest will not be a strength,” Harvey says bluntly. “Have a sip of that,” he orders. “Because you do have a peasant’s taste in food.”“Peasant?”Harvey grins. “Can’t take clients to Macdonald’s and Starbucks, kid.”XxxGet your shit together, right?Okay then. Far be it for Mike to argue with Jessica.So when Mike gets back to Harvard, he heads to Professor Gerard’s office and knocks on the door. When no-one answers, he opens the door and sighs at the sight of the empty desk. But there are textbooks piled upon it and some neat notes with an unfamiliar scrawl over them.And the computer is logged on.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mike’s had interviews before. But those were the type where you rock up in casual clothes, have a laugh with the guy or woman behind the table and start the next day. This…this is not that.For one, Harvey never got involved in those.“That?” Harvey asks when Mike leaves his room.“I’m not interviewing for Pearson and Hardman.”“Good.” Harvey flips some eggs in a pan as Mike sits at the breakfast bar and fiddles with his tie. “Still doesn’t mean you need to dress like that.”“Like what?”“Like you bought a suit under one hundred dollars.”“Maybe it just shows that I’m responsible with my money.”Harvey snorts. “It just shows you have no money. And most clients don’t want to be represented by an associate with no money. Or class. Or taste. Or-”“Why are you doing this?” Mike asks, pulling the plate close. “Doing what?”“Shitting on my parade.”Harvey snorts and dishes up the omelette. “What parade? If you took this job, you may as well not stop being a bike messenger.”“Wow,” Mikes says, cutting into the omelette with a fork. “This is a whole other side of you. You are a snob.”“That’s a whole other side of me?”“No, but just in terms of a snob with law firms.” Mike watches as Harvey reoils the pan and then starts making his own breakfast. “I want to see what’s out there.”Harvey pauses and looks up. “Thought you wanted interview experience.”“Well, yes but-”“Don’t even think about taking this job,” Harvey threatens, pointing the spatula at Mike.“Sir, no, sir.”“That I like. Say that at work.”“At the job I haven’t got yet?”Harvey smirks. “At the job you’ll end up in.”Yeah, whatever. “You gonna make me breakfast every day?”He gets a snort. “Just setting the standard, kid. ‘cause pretty soon, you’re gonna be wanting to score points with me.”“Wow,” Mike says and scoops up the last few bites. “That’s going in the con column.”Harvey slides his omelette onto his plate. “I’m adding this up,” he calls as Mike dumps the plate in the sink and heads back to his room.XxxThe first interview is awkward and bumbling and not just from Mike’s end of things. The next one is done by some douche on a power trip and by the end of the day, Mike’s not entirely sure that this is the best idea in the world.When he gets home, Harvey isn’t in and Mike collapses face down on the sofa with a long sigh. “Dad?” he asks when he calls, “You coming home?”“Poker game,” Harvey replies. “How shit was your day?”“Solid 7 on the shit scale,” Mike offers. “First guy was sweaty and he just couldn’t give a shit-”“He knew he was interview experience,” Harvey says decisively. “And the other?”“Wanted me to know I was going to be a bug on the food chain.” Mike sits up. “He left me hanging for forty three minutes before he saw me.”Harvey actually sniggers. “Yeah. Love that trick.”“It’s not a trick. It’s obvious.”“Yeah. And when you get in the room and you both know what’s happened, you never get called on it,” Harvey says sounding pleased. “Takes a certain level of power to get away with it.”“Well, on behalf of all the people that you’ve done it to, I’m ordering take-out on your card.”“And I’ll get that deducted from your first pay-cheque.”“You’re adding to that con-list,” Mike warns. He can hear the smile. “Still not as high as the pro list, kid.”XxxMike changes into sweats and an old ratty t-shirt just to annoy Harvey when he gets home and spends the evening flicking through the TV, sprawled out on the sofa. He did his research when he sent out applications for these interviews, he doesn’t need to read the notes again.He’s half asleep when Harvey calls.“How do you fancy going to a hotel for the night?”“Huh?” Mike asks, shifting on the sofa and trying to work out exactly where in the episode he lost focus.“You. Hotel. Now.”Mike rolls into the back of the sofa, half hoping it will smother him. “Oh my god, you are kicking me out of the apartment to have sex?”“You’re twenty three,” Harvey says without any contrition. “And I was awesome tonight. I want to celebrate.”“Can’t you just celebrate with scotch and cigars like you usually do?”“I was awesome at the office,” Harvey clarifies. “I was called back in. Take what you want and go.”This is… “I feel this is a form of child abuse. I never want to be aware when you’re having sex.”There’s a long huff. “I’ve booked you in to a place. I’ll text you. If you’re still in the apartment, that’s your fault.”“Why don’t you go to a hotel?”Harvey actually groans. “Fine.”“Wait no, I want the hotel.” Mike sits up. “Do I get breakfast?”“Fine.”“Sweet. Better than your cooking.”XxxThe people at the desk clearly think he’s a booty call which is all kinds of wrong, but Mike grins at them and then heads up to the frankly ridiculous suite that Harvey’s paid for and there’s room service and Mike grins.Sucker.He has a relatively lazy morning. His only interview today is after lunch, at Rand Caldor and Zane and he actually wants that one to go well. He wanders home, feeling way too full from the huge buffet that the hotel put on and brings coffee on the off-chance that Harvey is still around.Someone’s in the kitchen and, unless his Dad has had a sudden sex change, Mike’s gonna guess it’s the woman.She blinks at him. She only has on underwear and one of Harvey’s shirts which she really should be impressed by because Mike’s almost certain that Harvey views his clothes as his other, less problematic children.“Um…do you…are you…do you work for Harvey?”He snorts. “Son,” he says easily and heads for his room. “Dad? Just picking up clothes,” he calls.He pulls out the suit that he was going to wear and then debates if he wants to risk the shower that his father may or may not have had sex in.Best to ask.He emerges and Harvey is at the breakfast counter looking ruefully amused as the woman is now back in her blouse and skirt. “Shower safe?”Harvey turns and stares at him, his lips pressed together but it’s like he’s trying not to laugh rather than him being pissed off. “Unless you’ve done something terrible in there.”Mike rolls his eyes, but the woman’s sheepish attitude catches his attention. “Wait, is he lying? Cause if you had sex in the shower-” He breaks off as she winces and then glares at Harvey.Harvey opens his mouth and then seems to think better of it. “Go have a shower. We’re having breakfast.”Not really sure what to make of it, Mike does as he’s told and finds himself almost longing for the days of Scottie.Xxx“Thanks for the coffee,” Harvey says when Mike leaves the bathroom. “She didn’t have to go,” Mike says, feeling a little bad now. “I…sorry. I was used to Scottie.”Harvey takes a long sip. “She tried to call me something last night and had a sudden realisation as to why I wasn’t into it.”“What-” The realisation slams into Mike and he turns. “Just…gonna go bleach my ears.”He knows that Harvey’s laughing. Dick.XxxHarvey’s in a good mood when he enters the office. Last night had been the kind of stress relief that he best enjoys, and seeing Mike so at ease and also a little bit horrified had settled the last bit of restless energy that Harvey had. “You’re late,” Donna said as he walked to his office. “Mike wanted to interrogate me about whether I’d ever had sex in the shower.”“Aw,” Donna spins the chair around. “How red did he go.”“I told him it was safe.”Donna looks unconvinced but lets it go. “Jessica wants to see you.”Right. Harvey glances towards the window and the city beyond. “Anyone with her?”“Louis.”Of course. Smirking, Harvey turns, relatively sure this morning is just going to keep getting better.Jessica, as expected, has the largest office in the firm. Like everything, it’s sleek and coolly professional, but her office is perhaps a little softer than others. And it’s not weakness, Harvey knows, but invitation. Unlike Hardman, Jessica seems to want to welcome employees in and talk to them.And the office doesn’t mean shit when she wants to throw you out on your ass or ream you out.And Harvey knows that more than anyone.“Jessica,” Louis is saying as Harvey walks in. “I could have handled Gerald Tate.”“And I told you, I disagree,” Jessica responds, and there’s a cup of coffee in her hands and Harvey feels even more amused because if Louis has interrupted her morning routine of sipping a proper cup of coffee rather than anything from plastic or cardboard, then Louis is already on the backfoot.“Why?”“Because when you put two bullies in a room together, things generally don’t go so well,” Harvey says and moves to the table where the coffee is waiting. “It’s 9.30. Nice of you to show up two hours after we open for business.” Harvey looks over at him, plastering on an almost amused and concerned expression as he pours because any concern that Louis has can generally be accepted as being petty. “And I see that you’re also trying to look like a pimp.”Dick. “My bad, Louis, I was out late last night and when I woke up this is the suit your wife picked out for me,” he says as he walks towards Jessica, purposefully keeping his back to Louis.He just catches Jessica’s eye and he’s got leeway here. Louis has clearly annoyed her this morning and she’s pretty much going to be content with Harvey having his sport this morning.“And that would be funny if I’d actually been married,” Louis says.“Moving along,” Jessica says just as Harvey’s about to turn and face Louis side by side with Jessica. She walks between them, and Harvey keeps his expression carefully neutral because he’d genuinely thought he’d get to play around with Louis a little longer than that.“You’re not married?” Harvey asks, all faux concern and Louis just picks at his hands, head tilted.“Recruiting, Harvey.”That catches his attention.“Your interviews are set up for tomorrow.”Mike’s interviewing all this week and Harvey shifts as he sits down on the sofa Jessica keeps in her office, all too conscious that Louis is in the room. “Sure we’ll find someone who stands out among the typical Harvard douches.”Louis, thankfully, seems to take that sarcastically while Jessica stands behind him and smiles at Harvey’s comments. “Harvey, the fact that we only hire from Harvard gives us a cache that’s a little more valuable than hiring a kid from Rutgers,” Louis sneers and wow is Mike in for a treat if he thinks that Harvey's a snob when it comes to lawyers.Harvey just mimes at him like Louis is the reason that Harvey thinks Harvard graduates are douches and there’s a point that can be made there. Harvey works with these people. He knows exactly what they can be like.“Harvey,” Jessica scolds. “Take this seriously.”“Why?” Harvey challenges and she cannot be serious. If she puts twenty kids on the list, Harvey will literally call Mike up first and then take the kid out for steak and beat him over the head with it if he has to in order to get Mike to accept.“Because all senior partners get an associate.”What?He tries to mask his shocked pleasure. This year…he’s been so conscious of Mike. So relieved to have the kid back and properly talking to him rather than that tense bullshit of the past few years that he’d genuinely put all thoughts of promotion to the side. Temporarily, of course. But still.“I’m sorry, what?” Louis asks and Harvey finds his eyes properly drawn to the man who is now standing with his arms folded and looking at Jessica with horrified affront. “Jessica,” Louis adds, unfolding his arms, “I deserve that promotion. My billables destroy his. And I’m here night and day doing whatever’s needed instead of swanning in and out of here whenever I please.”Harvey stands, letting out a chuckle because if Louis thinks this will work, he’s an idiot. Jessica might appear to be offering this out casually, but she never does anything without having planned a number of steps ahead. Louis questioning her like this? Harvey wishes that Louis had some sense of…well…sense.“I must admit, he does make me seem very swan-like.”“Harvey,” Jessica says bluntly. “Shut up.” And Harvey makes it clear that he’s accepting the order out of choice as she soothes Louis slightly.Because holy shit, he’s a senior partner.“All right, now you two make nice,” Jessica says standing between them.Yeah. He can be magnanimous. “Louis, I apologise, I was out of line. Now if you’ll just let me text your pretend wife that I just made senior partner-”Out of the corner of his eye, he’s aware that Jessica’s hair has rippled back as her head moved and Louis is already turning on his heel. “What? Too far? Oh come on, she doesn’t even exist.”“How was that nice?” Jessica scolds.“It’s not mean,” Harvey protests as he pockets his cell phone. “Louis, come on, I was just-” He pauses in following Louis out when Jessica reaches out a hand. “Is this the part where the promotion comes with a catch?” Harvey asks, with a grin.She’s trying not to smile. “Congratulations,” she says and she’s genuine and Harvey nods, glancing at where Louis has stomped off. “You can’t hire Mike.”What? All attention snapping to her, Harvey stays still and watches as she heads for her desk. “You just said that a senior partner gets their own associate.”“Yes,” Jessica agrees. “But you’ll mentor Mike regardless. I want you to take charge of someone else.”“Like hell I will,” Harvey says, turning to face her fully. “You want me to help someone over…” he trails off and glares. “If Mike’s as good as I think, then competition will only help.” She’s making a show of pulling out a contract now and Harvey stands up straight, trying to reign in the urge to shout. She’s logically right and he knows that, but he’d thought he’d be able to circumnavigate more. This way, with an associate, Mike will be pretty much out of bounds.“How many times can I…swap associate?”“Four times a year,” Jessica says.“Twelve.”“Four.”“Eight.”She looks up. “Five. Argue again and it will be three.”Harvey nods because she can’t exactly lay out the law when it comes to out of office conversations. “And Harvey?” Jessica says as he walks away. “He’ll be going into the general associate pool, which,” she adds when he turns to argue it, “will allow him to see lots of different styles and be known across the company. Which will mean that his direct supervisor will be-”“Louis.” Harvey rolls his eyes. “He’s doing the interview as well, isn’t he.”“I’ve put forward my recommendation from the applications. He may take it. Or he may be pissed off from what happened here today and decide to completely disregard my comments. It is his prerogative.”Prerogative? Harvey stares at her a second longer and then turns and walks out of her office.Xxx“Uh…” Mike hesitates in the doorway, a little confused. “I’m…I think I have the wrong-”“Room?” Robert Zane asks, sitting back. “No. Why do you think that?”“Because name partners don’t interview possible associates,” Mike says, edging into the room and knowing he’s a little off balance.“Most interviewing associates don’t have the same contact address as Harvey Specter.”Oh. Mike takes a breath and then nods. “Look, if that’s what this is then thank you for your time but-”“Wait,” Mr Zane says, holding up a hand and actually seeming to find this funny. “Sit down.” He fidgets a little, eyes scanning over Mike as if laser printing everything. “Kids these days. Why aren’t you interviewing to work with your old man?”“I am tomorrow.”“So this is interview experience?” Mr Zane asks and he doesn’t seem pissed about it, just curious.“This…” Mike sighs and takes a seat. “This is a contender. There’s a pro and con list somewhere.”Mr Zane seems to find that somewhat familiar. “Can I ask you,” he says suddenly, “as you’re here and all. What is it about working with your father that makes you hesitate?”“You asking for dirt on Harvey?”“Genuine question,” Mr Zane says. “Why wouldn’t a child want to take part in the work of their father. Learn from them. See what they’ve built. What all those missed plays and evenings were creating.”There’s…a nerve here, maybe? And Mike looks towards the windows and at the view and-“My Dad,” he says , still looking out at the skyline, “once took me to the office. I was about thirteen. First fight. I thought he was gonna kill me and he just nodded and told me in the real world sometimes you need to fight. He took me in his office, showed me the view and asked me if I wanted him to hand me the world or teach me to go and get it.”Mr Zane is surprisingly quiet.“The getting it part…not sure if I’d do that best with him there or not. He casts a long shadow.”Mr Zane seems to debate that answer. “What’s your goal?” he asks.“To win a case against Harvey.”The man laughs. “That the answer you want me to put down for this interview?”“What? No! I…” Mike sits up and refocuses. “I thought… you just wanted some weird perspective…you’re gonna interview me.”Mr Zane still looks tickled. “You want me to give you a countdown to when we start?”“No. We’re good.” Mike takes a breath. “Basically, sir…” He debates it, “I wanna be so good that one day, my own father find it a challenge to take me on.”Mr Zane nods. “All right wise guy. Let’s get down to it then.”XxxHarvey gets home early and finds Mike out on the decking. He’s back in jeans like he’s allergic to taste and almost bent over the glass walls as he stares down below.Harvey says nothing. It’s the strangest thing sometimes to look at the man in front of him and still only see that little eleven year old that had looked so tiny and abandoned in his living room the first day they’d reunited properly.He rests his hand on the nape of Mike’s neck and says nothing, looking out at the city too.“I feel like there’s some Lion King-esque speech going on inside your head,” Mike complains after a moment.“That shadowy place is New Jersey and we don’t touch it,” Harvey says solemnly and Mike snorts. “How was round two?”His son is quiet. “I got interviewed by Robert Zane.”What? Surprised, Harvey watches as Mike slowly stands up.“He clocked the address,” Mike says with a shrug. “Wanted a chat.”“I bet. You know his daughter works for Jessica.”“Oh.” Mike blinks as if something had made sense. “He offered me a job.”That’s good. It shows Mike is making waves already. “Are you thinking about taking it?”Mike nods slowly. “But now it becomes is he doing this to stick it to you? To even things out with Jessica?”“Robert wouldn’t do that for the sake of it. He’ll enjoy the bonuses, but he wouldn’t hire someone he didn’t see potential in.”Mike looks surprised. “You’ve changed your tune.”Yeah. “Looks like the pro-con pile has changed significantly.” Harvey turns and heads inside and grabs two beers. When he comes out, Mike has sat himself in one of the chairs and accepts the beer without comment. “Louis Litt will have control over you and you wouldn’t be assigned to a senior partner.”“Which is what Mr Zane is offering.”Mr Zane? The kid still sounds like he’s eleven too. Well, strike that; there’s a lot less sulking and snarling than there was when Mike was eleven, but the basic concept stands. “Jessica thought you’d do better with a range of styles. For the first year, anyway.”He can see Mike weighing that up. “He’ll use it,” Mike says eventually, eyes fixed ahead.“Hmm?”“Zane. He’ll use me against you. Rile you up. Even if he’s subtle, people will start to know.” Mike takes a sip, deep in contemplation. “He said it’s a standing offer.”That makes Harvey smile. “He knows where you’ll end up,” he says and watches his son. The boy doesn’t even look annoyed and just seems to accept the comment as he takes another sip.“So,” Harvey pressed forward. “The interview tomorrow.”“Don’t mention you at all?” Mike asks with a small grin and Harvey feels that familiar wave of affection towards the idiot.“Might be best.” He debates it; Louis is known for going off on tangents. There’s a chance that he’ll whine on about not being made senior partner, but it’s a small one. On the other hand, Mike will get a job this week and he’ll be entitled to celebrate…Taking a sip, Harvey settled back in the seat, watching the diming sun and feeling…well…damn content. “But, you gotta remember. No matter how annoying Louis is, when you get to Pearson Hardman,” he ignores Mike’s dramatic groan, “you’ll have a senior partner backing you.”Mike lifts his beer to his mouth and then freezes. His gaze, eyes big and wide like when he was tiny, stare at him.“Dad,” he whispers, the grin returning and out-striping the previous one. “Did…are you a senior partner?”Harvey nods.“Holy shit,” Mike says as he puts the beer down on the table. “We should…do you want me to leave so you can have victory sex or is that what that was-”Brat. Harvey pings the bottle cap at Mike making the kid cackle. “I’m happy with my evening plans,” Harvey says, shaking his head. “You, me and discussing how to get you past Louis.”“Sap,” Mike says, but the smile doesn’t fade. “You know this won’t stop me from putting you in a nursing home as soon as I can and spending all your money?”Harvey nods. “You remember in December when you puked all over me while in the shower?”Mike eyes him suspiciously.“Funny the stains you miss when you’re that high-”Mike claps his hands over his ears and flees to the kitchen.Well, Harvey thinks as he turns his attention back to the view. This is going to be fun.XxxThe first time Mike meets Louis Litt, he’s almost sure that he’s stumbled into some sort of pantomime villian’s dressing room. The man is terrifying and slightly off kilter and Mike spends most of it swallowing back what he wants to say and just…observing.He loses him for a few minutes. Louis acknowledges Mike’s class rank, his extra curriculars, but drags him over hot coals for his lack of internships and when Mike mentions family problems, Louis basically implies that Mike’s workshy. But then he asks Mike why he’s a lawyer.“I love the law,” Mike says honestly. “I love…the power that the right wording can give you, the voice it can give people. You find the right argument and you can derail everything. It’s…a puzzle or a tapestry-”“A tapestry,” Louis says, as if that’s the only acceptable answer, “and we’re master craftsmen.” He sniffs and looks away and Mike has to hide the smile because neither Harvey nor Louis do the move as well as the person they learned it from. “One foot out of line, Ross and you’ll be out on the streets with the cast of Les Miserables that seems to be your family. You understand?”Mike tries desperately not to picture Harvey’s face when he debriefs him about this later. “Got it.”It takes until Louis is placing the employment contract in front of him for Mike to realise he didn’t even consider whether to take the job or bargain about previous offers.“What? You waiting for a fanfare?” Louis demands. “Sign the goddamn contract and leave my sight. I have things to do.”Mike reaches for the pen.He needs to be shoved, he thinks as he takes a breath. And boy does Louis Litt shove.XxxHarvey meets Theodore Manterry first. “You know Jessica said that you had to find an associate?” Donna checks as they glance over the candidates waiting in the room. “I know, I was there.”“So can we try not to make this take all afternoon. I have things to do.” She watches Theodore as he exist the room. “Can I streamline this?”“Yeah,” Harvey smirks, “which is the worst one on the list?”Donna raises an eyebrow.Harvey just smirks. “God,” Donna sighs as she flicks through the list. “You realise you just announced to me that I’m about to triple my work load?”“Have we discussed your salary now that you’re the legal secretary to a senior partner.”“We have,” Donna reassures him. “You were very generous in that meeting.”“Then,” Harvey says, leaning in, “send me the worst one.”Donna hums and trails her finger down the list. “That’s funny though,” she said. “Three here, one is towards the bottom of the class ranks, way lower than we usually go, one didn’t even go to Harvard and went to Columbia instead and one cried when I booked him in so…” Donna pulls a face at that.“No-one nervous. Jessica will blame me.” Harvey looks at the names. Hunter James, Caldor Haynes and Simon Morrow.It’s tempting to go to the one who went to Columbia, but Jessica will never believe that Harvey didn’t know.“Bottom of the class it is.” Harvey hands back the list. “Send him in.”He enters the hotel room and takes a seat behind the desk. The man that walks in looks so much older than Mike despite there probably only being two or three years between them. Dark eyes jump to Harvey, then the desk and then the seat opposite. And the man almost pauses, but Harvey detects the moment he sighs and just continues.Harvey nods him at a seat and there’s another ‘annoyed but biting it back’ glare. “You want a job?” Harvey asks.“No.”It’s enough to amuse him. “Then you’re in the wrong room.”“Yeah, that’s been made abundantly clear.” The man’s voice is measured. And he’s calm, Harvey realises as he just waits.It’s genuinely interesting.“You realise I just offered you a job?”The man tilts his head. “You offered me a job without me saying anything and with other more…” he looks towards the wall and seems to be scrolling through a list of choices. “showy candidates. So you don’t want to give me a job. You want a place holder.”Harvey drums his fingers on the desk. “You graduated really low down in the class ranks, but you weren’t always there.”The man doesn’t even flinch and there’s no change to his expression. “No,” he agrees.More and more interesting. “I don’t want to be here,” Harvey admits. “and I’m bored of being surrounded by arrogant little shits who have no concept of the real world.”If it were Mike in front of him there’d be a cheeky grin and a question as to which annoyed Harvey more: the arrogant little shits or the lack of awareness of the world.This man just waits.“Okay,” Harvey says, leaning forward. “We’ll start this again. You impress me then I’ll give you the job.”“All right,” the man says. “But, fair warning, if it’s from the last term of Harvard, I won’t know it.”XxxMike’s, unsurprisingly, on the sofa when Harvey gets home. “Well?”“Louis thinks we’re the cast of Les Miserables,” Mike says and looks up from the book he’s reading.Harvey looks around the apartment. “Yeah. He is not linking you and me together,” Mike adds and shuts the book. “You?”“Did you ever hear of a Hunter James at Harvard?”Mike shakes his head. “Must have been in another class. Wait…” he tilts his head. “Ohhh.”“Oh?”Mike sits up slowly. “He um…someone died. In his last year. He struggled to catch back up again.”“And didn’t defer?”“Yeah because law school is cheap and unicorns prance on the front lawn,” Mike scoffs. “I don’t know. I just…it came up in a conversation with one of my professors.” When Harvey shoots him a look, Mike hesitates. “Look I…I spiralled a bit. Fall term. I got caught up pretty quick but…” he shrugs. “Maybe I wouldn’t have if my brain wasn’t,” he makes a vague gesture at his head.“I hired him.”Mike blinks. “Must have impressed you at the interview then.”“He actually did. I mean he wasn’t emotional or caring or immature or desperate for approval-”“I took the job.”Harvey pauses. “I know.” Mike nods. “Well…this is going to be so frickin’ weird,” he says taking a long breath. “Yeah,” Harvey says and clasps him on the shoulder. “But good.”Mike looks up and searches his gaze and then nods, looking still a bit too nervous for Harvey’s taste.“And you need to move out,” Harvey adds, squeezing the kid’s shoulder and moving past.“What?”“You. Your pay slip. The address?” Harvey moves to the table where the cleaner has piled his letters. “Unless you want the office to work this out real quick.”“Yeah,” Mike says, standing up. “Also, I’ve been mistaken for your booty call once this week. I so don’t need that to happen again.”Harvey winces.The things that kid comes out with.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The last time that Mike walked into the building, he was nineteen and angry and confused and generally a mess. Standing outside of it with a coffee in one hand, he takes a breath.He can totally do this.He heads for reception and is nodded to a seat by the reception desk where someone is already waiting. He’s staring at nothing, dark eyes narrowed and Mike shrugs and takes a seat one down from him and tries desperately not to look nervous because Harvey will be merciless if he sees that.It takes a minute or so to realise that he’s been watched. When he looks over, the guy is staring at the ceiling like it’s killed his mother.“Dude, you okay?”“You’re Mike Ross,” the guys says.“Uh…yeah…I don’t-”“We were at Harvard together,” the guy says and Mike has a moment to realise that this is the guy Harvey hired; this Hunter James person. “The boy who can memorise every law book he reads and have time to-” he makes a vague smoking gesture with his fingers.That’s…shit, how many people realised that was what he was doing? Mike clears his throat and shifts. “Wish I could say the same,” he says in the end. “No idea who you are.”Hunter just smiles and then stands as this smoking hot woman comes over. “Hunter James and Mike Ross?” she asks, looking between them.“Hunter,” the man says, shaking hands with the woman.“I’m Rachel Zane,” the woman says and turns expectantly to Mike who stands gracelessly and awkwardly shakes her hand.“Mike Ross,” he says which is probably useless information. “You’re…” he clears his throat not really sure what to say.“Uninterested,” she says, keeping that same cool, professional smile. “And now that we’ve established that, let’s move on.”She sweeps by and Mike winces and refuses to look in Hunter’s direction, but he can feel the amusement radiating from him.The only blessing is that Donna didn’t see it.As he trots after them, Rachel is handing Hunter a pen and they’re exchanging mush easier smiles. When Mike gets close enough, the pen and notepad is thrust at him and he can’t quite work out how to say he doesn’t need it without pissing Rachel off even more and Hunter is looking like he expects Mike to come out with some arrogant comment so Mike just accepts it and says nothing.“Take notes,” Rachel instructs, “I’m not gonna repeat myself.”I love you, Mike thinks as he follows her. And seriously, the view from any angle is out of this world.XxxRachel shows them the office with a efficient manner that makes Mike absolutely certain that she might just be future wife material. She’s stunning and quick and he wonders what it says about him that this scolding manner is totally turning him on.“-the firm operates on a chain of command model. Hunter, Harvey's your commanding officer, however, Louis Litt, he oversees all associates so you'll also answer to him. Mike, Louis is your manager. The partners will dip into the associate pool as and when needed. Impress a senior partner and you find a mentor.”“What do you think of them?” Mike asks and Rachel shoots him a look. “Harvey and Louis?”Rachel’s glare turns somewhat doubtful. “You’re lucky, Hunter,” she says, switching her attention and Mike bites back a small smile. “People are in awe of Harvey They say he's the best closer there is but I have very little contact with him so I don't know.”It’s weird to hear. Mike knows that Harvey is good, but to hear it from an unbiased source? It’s kinda cool and it’s absolutely not something that Mike is ever telling Harvey. “What about Louis Litt?” Mike prompts.She actually hesitates for a moment. “Let's continue with your tour,” she says somewhat quickly. They enter the bullpen, a room filled with cubicles and people that look mildly stressed and also like they don’t want to look stressed. “And this is where you’ll both live.” Rachel nodded to a desk close by. “That’s yours,” she says to Hunter who nods and heads over.“And mine?” Mike presses.“I give desks to people who do as they’re told,” Rachel says. Mike spreads his hands. “But I“Were you too busy oggling me to listen to a word I've said?” Rachel prompts.He grins. “Partner's offices anchor the wings. 5th floor's research, 6 is security. All work gets billed, even if it's finding an address. I answer to Louis Litt and, judging by the way you responded to my questions, I should fear Louis. You have been here for 5 years and just because I outrank you, does not mean I have the authority to command your services. Rachel looks almost confused by him.“Oh, it's also pretty clear that you think you're too smart to be a paralegal.” She seems to suddenly decide on a reaction. “You know what nobody likes? Nobody likes a show-off.” She lifts her chin. “Your desk is by the door. It gets draughty.” “Woah, I mean, you used the word ogling, I mean-“ he breaks off as she leaves and closes his eyes as someone opposite smirks at him.Great.Mike heads to the desk that Rachel indicated. It’s tiny and he runs his fingers over the top of it and then realises he hasn’t got a clue what he’s meant to do next. “You new?” someone asks. “Yep.” He’s barely got the ‘p’ out before a pile is dumped on his desk and then walks away. There are a few grins from the people around him and Mike nods because he is the new guy and he’s not being mentored and he is at the bottom of the pile.Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Donna come and collect Hunter and she doesn’t so much as glance in his direction.XxxWhen Mike gets home that night, there is a stack of apartment details printed out and a post-it with a smiley face on it which is definitely from Donna.“How was day one?” Harvey asks, and he’s on the sofa, looking through some papers. Mike collapses back into the other sofa and stares up at the ceiling feeling like he’s been hit by a bus. “I’m gonna have nightmares about blue folders,” he complains. The clock reads eleven o six and Mike has literally just got home. He turns to look at Harvey. “You were an associate when I came to live with you?” he checks, slightly disbelieving. Harvey smiles, not looking up. “I was in the DAs office for years before that. And I made senior associate quickly.” He tosses the papers onto the table and grins. “But you’re twenty three, kid.”“Yeah. I’m well aware I’m at the bottom of the ladder,” Mike grumbles. “How about you? How was day one with the most joyless lawyer known to man.”“Hunter?” Harvey shrugs. “He took the pro-bono I was forced to take. He’s quiet. Doesn’t annoy me.”Sure. Mike lowers his head and yawns. “Go to bed.”It’s tempting. “Hunter knows I smoked pot at Harvard.”Harvey pauses and tosses the pen down on the table. “Thought you said you didn’t know him.”“I don’t.”“Christ, kid.” Harvey lowers his head and then stands up. “So someone who doesn’t know you identified from just your name that you smoked pot?”“Yeah.”“You…” Harvey seems to be restraining himself. “You are aware that at Harvard law school there were future lawyers, right? Because they will remember this, kid. And if they need to discredit you, it’s an easy claim.”“I wasn’t the only one-”“If you make me give you the speech about jumping off a cliff, I swear I’ll lose it.”Right. “It was stupid.”Harvey shakes his head. “I…this stuff might have been understandable when you were a kid.”“This the ‘get your shit together’ speech?”Harvey pauses.“Jessica gave it to me at the start of the year.” Mike closes his eyes. “Time machines, right?”Shockingly, it actually works. Harvey looks down at him and then reaches down to lift up Mike’s chin. “And since they don’t exist, stop screwing up. Because I talked to Louis today who was boasting about having someone who graduated second in their class. Second?”Mike holds his gaze.“Your greatest weakness is yourself, kid,” Harvey decides after a while. “Stop getting in your own goddamned way.”Mike nods and leans his head forward, bumping his head into his Dad’s stomach and Harvey lets it happen, stroking his hair gently. And it’s so quiet and soothing which is a blessing considering his day and it’s so tempting to confess…He can’t help but picture Harvey’s face when he hears about that goddamned signature. And then Harvey moves away and the moment’s gone.XxxDay two and three are equally as mind-numbing. But Mike makes sure to put the documents he’s proofing and checking and typing up right on the desk of the partner who’s sent the work down to the bullpen. By the time he gets back, there’s always more work on his desk and he swallows down any complaints and just takes it with a grin.“Where have you been?” Louis demands.“I was-”“Don’t care,” Louis decides, but Mike can see him glancing at the files on Mike’s desk and there’s the smallest frown on his face. “It’s pee-in-a-cup time.”“I’m sorry. What?” Mike asks, looking around in confusion.“Drug test. Follow me. Now.” Great. Mike glances at his work and distinctly not at the other associates. Even Jimmy, who Mike knew back at Harvard is stepping back to let Mike go through this shitty version of hazing. “Oh,” Louis says as they step into the lift, “by the way er, my cousin was your year at Harvard and I asked him if he knew you.” He lets out a smirking chuckle. “Turns out he did. Mike Ross. Impressive name on campus. Too young, too smart, too…uh…high and mighty?”Great.He doesn’t let his face react but that in itself seems to make Louis’s smile grow triumphantly. “Time to face the music,” Louis declares as he opens the door. There’s an Asian man in a lab coat with a clipboard and a plastic pot.Mike takes a deep breath.XxxThe next day, there’s a buzz about the associates because Hunter has won a sexual harassment claim and this is the first case that one of the associate from their year has won. It’s a cause for celebration because a) they can all ride on those coattails for a while and b) they all know exactly who the guy is that they want to bring down.And all the while, Mike is being drowned by paper.Slow and steady, right? Except Mike’s never gone slow and steady in his life and this feels like walking through syrup it’s so slow.He’s getting to know the other associates though. Now that Hunter has a ‘kill me’ sign fixed upon his back, the others are easing up a little with Mike.Sort of. Gregory Boone is two years above Mike and is dumping stuff on him left right and centre. Still. Which Mike is taking at the moment because it’s allowing him to show off, but too much longer and he’s going to be a pushover.The others though? Seth seems to be Louis’ flavour of the month and Mike sort of remembers him at Harvard, but he was in a different class and definitely was the intern here for the past few years. Kyle Durant was at the firm last year as an intern too and the pair seem to have decided that they have some great plot together and Mike carefully keeps his face straight whenever he sees the two talking quietly in a corner like this is some spy film.Jimmy, as soon as the dickhead twins switch their attention, floats back towards Mike. There are other associates, but they got on at Harvard and he seems to have settled in and made the friends that he wants. And, with him, comes Harold, trotting after with big eyes and a hopeful smile.There’s Elaine who was the year ahead of them and kinda keeps her head down swaps him some of her work to show him how to file and do some of the practical things like who to call for certain documents and who to ask for in some of the offices that they work with. She also teaches him how to master the photocopier and Mike kinda admires the fact that she’s nice but she isn’t giving away knowledge for free.There are others too. Older associates. Time was that to still be an associate after the age of thirty was a bad sign, now it’s closer to forty. Which means that there are people that have been in the firm for years. Some seem happy; there’s Luke Ratcliffe who happily shows Mike his kids and chats to him about Columbia as the eldest is fourteen, but Luke’s a forward planner. There are others like Vincent Palmer who is not happy about where he is after eight years and Mike keeps a wary eye on him because the man seems to be on the cusp of making partner, but Mike is pretty certain that will make him just more ruthless if it’s within sight.And then there’s Hunter.He shuts down most conversations with the younger associates yet seems to manage well with those above him. Mike’s seen him chatting with Luke too and realises that he actually doesn’t know how old Hunter is; he assumed twenty six like the others, but if Mike skipped two years then maybe Hunter had some time out or in between his studies. He never goes for drinks at the local bars which the rest of them do; even if they’re half dead from exhaustion, the bar is usually a good place to bitch and moan about it. And they’re all pretty good at the rule that what happens outside of the office doesn’t come back into the office.“He’s a robot,” Kyle decides one night. “Literal robot. I heard Specter didn’t want to hire anyone so maybe he just bought a robot.”There are sniggers and Mike grins, but privately doubts it because it doesn’t take a genius to work out who Louis got the idea from when it came to the drug test. Robots don’t hold grudges.“Yeah,” Seth complains, “but he’s getting the chance to shine. He’s the associate attached to the guy with the showiest cases in the entire firm. He lucked out, man.”“Not for long though,” Kyle promises and Mike glances at him and then at Seth who seems to be grinning too. “But,” he adds, leaning forward, “enough about him. Talent at the office?”“Rachel Zane,” Harold says instantly, but there’s a note of longing in his voice like he’s at church and is praying to the heavens.Wait…Zane? That’s Robert Zane’s daughter?“Like you could,” Kyle says and there’s a hint of a challenge in his voice.XxxThe first time that Harvey acknowledges Mike at work is actually painful.“You,” Harvey says, point at Mike. “Come with me. And you,” he adds, actually nodding at Hunter.“Uh-”“You need an instruction twice?” Harvey asks.“Nope.” Mike drops his pen, looks at the pile of work and trots off after Hunter and Harvey.“-contract,” Harvey is saying to Hunter. “And he,” he adds, gesturing at Mike, “will be the distraction.”“Distraction?” Mike asks, not entirely sure where this is going. Except, as it turns out, it means playing air-hockey with one of Harvey’s clients.“Seriously?” Mike hisses at Harvey when they have a second.“Is that a first year associate complaining about the job a senior partner just gave him?” Harvey asks and there isn’t a hint of his Dad in Harvey’s demeanour. Instead, he’s looking through his phone and emails as if deeply bored of the whole experience.“No,” Mike says, grinning, “I’m just practicing a speech for my dad,” he says as Hunter comes over. “Poor guy. I’m looking into the nursing homes at the moment.”“Nursing homes?” Hunter asks, looking between them as Harvey pauses and seems to narrow his eyes ever so slightly.“Yeah,” Mike says. “So many of them have all those allegations about bad treatment or the residence feeling so alone that they start regretting life choices.”“I’m regretting my life choice of picking you,” Harvey says, sweeping past.Hunter looks at Mike. “Wow…you really are good at sabotaging yourself,” he says, all faux admiration.XxxMike lets himself lose three in a row and Wyatt tries to bargain for more games which Mike thinks is probably more punishment than is justified when Harvey walks back over and tells the client to get set up in the conference room where Hunter is waiting.The guy runs off and Mike feels a moment where he can totally relate to the guy as Harvey, hands in his pockets, surveys him. “You did let him win, right?” Harvey ends up asking,“It wasn’t easy. The guy has the coordination of a two year old,”“I know. The last time these venture capitalists came in, I took him boxing to calm him down,” Harvey says as Mike pulls his suit jacket back on. “I basically had to punch myself in the face to let him win.”Mike grins and then shoots Harvey a suspicious look. “Do all senior partners have little chats with first year associates?”“If you have to ask, then you’re doing something wrong,” Harvey says, grinning as he looks back over his shoulder.“Right. So you can decide when we switch-”“Now he’s getting it,” Harvey says and the grin stays on his face as he looks back. “Also, I’ve watched you a) spend years playing at this thing and b) actually make friends while doing it. This? Not Hunter’s skill set.”Yeah, why doesn’t that surprise Mike. “You do know that pile of paper will have tripled by the time I get back?”“It’s almost as if people know they’re getting away with it,” Harvey says and the smile is gone now.“It’s almost as if I’m leaning all the base skills and who everyone is.”Harvey looks actually 10% closer to impressed than he usually does with Mike and hums.“Not your way?”“No,” Harvey agrees, “but then we did all agree that you shouldn’t be learning just from me. If you keep doing all the associates work-”“They won’t know how to do anything?”Harvey watches him for another beat or so and then looks deeply amused. “Time it well, kid,” he suggests.“The prototype,” Wyatt says, coming rushing back. “I can’t find it. I don’t know where I-”Harvey doesn’t even blink. “You mean this?” he asks, plucking the phone out of Wyatt’s breast pocket on his shirt. And the sigh he gives is genuinely identical to the one that he used to loudly let out every time he walked into Mike’s bedroom and just before the start of a ‘clean your shit up’ speech,“What would I do without you?” Wyatt asks Harvey.“Fail miserably,” Harvey suggests and there’s a pointed look at Mike.“I would,” Wyatt agrees eagerly and Mike looks down at the floor because if Harvey thinks he’s ever getting that response, he is so far from the mark.Harvey clasps Wyatt on the shoulder and starts to lead him away, but manages to throw a comment over his shoulder. “And uh…Bambi? Run home and hide in the office, okay?”Bambi? Mike is so taken aback by the reference that he just opens his mouth and blinks at Harvey’s back as the man leads Wyatt away.Bambi? That’s just rude.XxxIt’s an hour later when Hunter meanders over looking like he’d rather die.He has a stupid face and Mike has an insane urge to kick him which is probably not grown up.“What?” Mike demands when Hunter just stands there.“Never mind,” Hunter decides as he gives Mike a long look and then turns on his heel and walks away.God, the guy is so weird.The never-ending pile of work is looking lighter than usual, so Mike takes a risk and leaves his desk and goes to find Donna who spots him coming down the hallway and just watches him.“You were told not to go anywhere near this office.”Yeah and he’s honoured that, despite the fact that he’s never seen Harvey’s massive new office now. “I um…actually wanted to see you.”Donna smiles at the computer screen.“I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner and-” he breaks off when she looks horrified. “Oh, no…you’re like my Dad’s age-” and that’s a mistake because she rears back in a different kind of horror and this is so going wrong. “I…” he lets out a frustrated noise. “Was going to offer dinner in exchange for you helping me with advice about apartments but,” he points back the way he came.“Please stop,” she says, holding her palm up like she’s stopping traffic. “And no. I have things to do after work. I got you the apartment listings-”Mike glares heavenwards. “Which one?”Donna almost smiles. “Second to last.”Huh. “And you’re not gonna screw with me because of the-”“Hideous comment you just made about my age?”Mike nods. “Not today,” Donna decides, typing away again. Great. That’s…great.XxxAt home, Harvey is out with a client or a woman or a car or something and Mike studies the apartment that Donna suggested. It’s weird, he’s not lived properly with Harvey for years but he’s always lived with someone. The idea of living alone is actually kind of scary.He doesn’t know why. Look at Gordon and what happened to him when three people all lived in the same place.“Picked one?” Harvey asks when he comes home.Mike nods. “Bambi?” he asks.“You’re all wobbly,” Harvey mocks and ruffles Mike’s hair as he walks by.“Wasn’t sure if it was a Freudian slip about Bambi’s mom being shot.”Harvey actually snorts at that as he heads to his room.XxxThe next day, when Mike gets in, Hunter has head down over a pile of papers and next to him is a trolley full of them.“Sucker,” Kyle says and grins in the break room. “Gregory totally got him. Didn’t know how to file a patent. He is screwed.”“How’s that?” Mike asks, half listening as he pours a coffee.“The Banbridge briefs. They’re like…they almost needed their own room,” Kyle sniggers. “Dude didn’t check the deal he was making. It’s such a rookie mistake.”Right.Xxx“Here.”Hunter blinks and looks up at Mike. “What?”“Patent. Filed.” Mike leans against the desk divider and shrugs. “Gregory would have dumped it on me anyway.”Hunter stares at him and then leans back in his chair. “He didn’t do it last night?” he says and it’s part question and part realisation. “Gonna guess not.” Mike glances down at the briefs. “You know these are for Watson, right?”Hunter looks almost confused by the name. “Senior partner. Has been for three years?”Hunter shakes his head, but it seems to be more aimed at himself. “What do you want, Ross?”Mike shrugs. “Don’t know yet.” He glances at the pile again and debates offering to help but screw that.XxxHe’s summoned to Louis’s office and Mike goes not really sure what the man wants from him.“You wanted to see me?”Louis is on the sofa in his office and is looking at some work. “You,” he said, looking up. “I took this from your desk this morning.”Huh. He’s just assumed that it had all been collected. “I-”“You have been doing the amount of three associates without breaking a sweat,” Louis says, and flicks through some of the pages. “The contracts you’ve drawn up, the documents you’ve filed…spectacular.” He looks up at Mike and his voice is actually…soft? Or genuine? Or…well, Mike doesn’t know because he’s never heard this sort of tone from Louis before and he’d bet most haven’t either. “You are catching details that none of the fifty associates under my purview seem to pick up on.” He runs his hands together slowly. “You have an eye for detail, Mike. Now, the senior partners all have their own associates. Sometimes these get switched, but rarely. It’s a shame really that you’re not being mentored.”Mike blinks and feels like squirming a little. “I…that’s…” he struggles for a moment and then smiles. “Thank you, Louis,” he says, trying to show how sincere he is.“You can’t keep doing the work though. You know that?” Louis says after a moment. “They need to learn and most of them don’t have the common sense of a pigeon.”Mike nods slowly. “I…um…saw it as a learning opportunity. To get practical experience and…it’s little things but they can make the difference.”Louis nods slowly. “You’ve heard that I pick a pony out of the herd every year, haven’t you?”“A pony?” Mike asks and what the hell is it with him being likened to baby animals this week?“Oh yeah. Stamp my own little brand on them.”“Mm,” Mike says, not really sure how to respond to that.“Are you that pony, Mike?”Oh god.“I…would welcome your input?” Mike tries. Louis’ face is suddenly unreadable. “I just…the pony metaphor is…” God how does he phrase this? But the things is, from the look on Louis’ face, he’s already in the shit. “I don’t really know how to respond to it,” he says honestly.The man’s eyebrows raise. “First time I’ve heard a complaint.”“Seriously?” Mike asks. “No-one’s ever pointed out what it sounds like when you ask someone to be your pony?”Louis opens his mouth as if to scoff and then looks thunderstruck. “Leave,” he suddenly orders.Yeah. Gladly.XxxHe goes to the apartment viewing and it’s fancy. Really fancy.He actually kind of hates it.On a whim, he heads back towards Brooklyn and more familiar territory from when he was a kid. And somehow, finds himself by the church. He wanders in, but no-one familiar is around and he finds himself just roaming aimlessly until he ends up at Trevor’s door which is something of a surprise.“Joined the world of work then?” Trevor greets.“Yeah,” Mike looks down at his suit and then nods at Jennie who’s curled up on the sofa with a pizza box. “Sorry if I’m-”Trevor shakes his head. “Come in,” he says, pulling Mike in. “She doesn’t know,” he whispers in Mike’s ear in a sort of ‘heads-up’ tone.Right.But the pizza is good, there’s beer and something stupid on TV and it’s a perfect break from the boasting and posturing previously.And, Mike starts to flick through to search for apartments close by.XxxThe next day, Mike finds himself playing tennis with Louis.And the man has a mean serve and suddenly Mike regrets not making the most of the sports program at his school.It makes him feel a little bit better about being so thoroughly beaten when Louis is blanked by Tom Keller.“Can you believe he still uses his fraternity brother as general council? I mean someone with that many assets just makes me sick.” Louis stares after the man for a moment or two. “Come on, let’s hit the showers.”What? “But I haven’t- and you’re gone,” Mike says as Louis walks towards the club house without a look back at him.Inside, Louis heads to the lockers and Mike just goes with it because he’s starting to think that’s the wisest thing to do with Louis when you’re one of his underlings. “You know ten years ago, before these dot-com millionaires, there were men of substance in this club. You know, men who understood how business gets done.” Mike stared down at his shoelace because wow, he’s not even heard Harvey give a speech about the good ol’days like this.“Well…” Mike says because thinking about it maybe it’s best not to let Louis really rant. “Maybe he’s just not interested in talking business while he’s in a towel.”“Mike, he’s not interested because he doesn’t think I’m cool,” Louis says, folding his arms. “And he’s a pothead who thinks that anybody who doesn’t smoke is a nerd. I mean,” and then suddenly the man’s polo shirt is off and really? Warning? “So I treat my body like a temple,” Louis continues, gesturing to his chest.Oh god, what is this?“Does that make me uncool?” and the man is so oblivious. Mike looks away and shakes his head and maybe if someone pulled the fire alarm right now that would get him out of this shitty situation. “I don’t think so,” Louis adds.“No,” Mike says because that is literally the only word that comes to mind.Louis points at him like Mike’s about to get a prize. “But on the other hand, you kinda seem his type.”Mike looks down, not sure what to do.“You’re young. I mean Harvey took you out yesterday to settle his client down. You think of yourself as…hip.”Oh this is so cringeworthy.“And we both know you enjoy the occasional bong hit.”Great. “No. No, I don’t smoke,” Mike says. Lies.Whatever. He’s cut way down.Louis chuckles. “That’s strange. I mean, the drug test you took, well that I made you take, would indicate otherwise.” And he hands Mike the goddamned test results.Shit. It’s positive.And Mike doesn’t know how. He hadn’t smoked the day before but who knows how long it stays in your system and Mike has actually genuinely never looked it up which sounds so stupid now but-“You’re not gonna dispute it now, are you?”Harvey will go mad.“Relax, Mike. Relax,” Louis soothes. “I’m not offended. I’m not even surprised. And, in fact, in this instance, we can use this to our advantage.”Mike winces. “What do you mean?” he asks, feeling a little defeated and jesus, this is like Forstman all over again. Except in Harvey’s firm.“I’m just saying back in the day you would woo a client. Take him to dinner or out for a drink, but that’s not gonna work with Tom. Not in a million years. Not with me, anyway.”Oh no. Mike rubs at his eyes because this cannot be happening.“But with someone of his generations who shares the same proclivities?”“You’re saying that you want me to smoke pot with him?”But Louis is too much of a lawyer for that. “I’m saying you can help me land him as a client,”Right. “That’s the only reason I’m here, isn’t it?” Mike says, standing up. “That stuff yesterday about me being good at the job and standing out? You just wanted me to come here-”“Hey,” Louis said, firmly. “None of that was bullshit. You’re a smart kid, and I really want to see you succeed.” And then he strips off his shorts and Mike really wishes that this wasn’t happening. “Balls in your court,” Louis adds with a smile and then trots off as Tom Keller walks in.It takes him a few seconds to weigh it up. Louis wants him to get the client. And Mike is pretty sure that he can do that without getting high.XxxHe manages to bring in a client. It’s his first meeting with Jessica since he started working for her and she smiles at him and tells him that he reminds her of Harvey.Louis looks at Mike with something in his expression and Mike can’t quite tell what it is, only that it actually seems as if Louis is actually sizing Mike up.Xxx“How was the patent?”“Shitty,” Harvey says as he pours himself a long drink and stares out at the city. “Heard you brought in a new client. With Louis.” He turns to Mike. “He give you the pony speech?”“I am trying to not remember that,” Mike frowns at his laptop as he fills out the form. When he looks up, Harvey is watching him. “What?”“You did the patent application. And chased it up.”Mike hesitates. “I’d have ended up doing it anyway if it was on Greg’s desk.”“Did you deliberately do it late?”What? Mike glares at him and then sulkily back at the laptop. “No. I saw the Bainbridge briefs that Hunter had swapped them for and did it that morning. Guy looked like he might drown in paper.” He shakes his head. “What’s crawled up your ass today?”“Excuse me?”“You,” Mike says, stubbornly not looking up again. “I wasn’t even meant to do it. And I filed it earlier than Greg would have and actually knew how to do it. No-one gave me a deadline and it could still be sitting on his desk if I hadn’t picked it up. So whatever your shitty mood is actually about, go somewhere else and bitch to someone else.”When he dares to look up, Harvey has sat on the back of the armchair and is staring at the fireplace. He doesn’t look annoyed anymore but, as predicated, doesn’t seem contrite. “I was accused of having an affair with a married woman.”Ouch. “Who by?”“The judge I had to deal with.” Harvey takes another sip and continues to see if he can bore a hole in the fireplace. “And you’re the first person today who hasn’t looked surprised when I argued against it.”Oh.And because there’s nothing he can really say to that, Mike puts the laptop down. “I um…I can beat you?”Harvey says nothing.“I saw Louis naked.”Harvey’s face flies through about seven different expressions at once. “You did what?”“Yeah, at the tennis club.” Mike winces. “Just…dropped his trousers and sauntered around.”A chuckle bursts out of Harvey.“And this was after I told him about the pony metaphor being wildly inappropriate.”“You realise that was punishment, right?” Harvey asks, turning to him.“Yeah, got that.” Mike takes a deep breath. “Um…and the drug test? I-”“Passed.” Harvey seems to misinterpret Mike’s surprise. “I did check on that one. To make sure that you still had some semblance of sense.”Mike sits back. “He…he said…he said I’d failed it.”Harvey’s mood seems to swing one-eighty back to the start of the conversation. “What did he do?”“Nothing-”“Really? Louis goes to the trouble of lying about a false positive-”“He got nothing from it,” Mike corrects. “He told me to smoke pot with a potential client. I got the client without smoking. I looked for the third option.”Harvey stares at him and almost seems…baffled. “You took the third…sensible option.”Mike lifts up the laptop and presses send. “Balancing it out,” he says with a grin. “You should see the place in Brooklyn that I’ve just rented.”Harvey freezes. “The apartments Donna sent you were all in Manhattan.”“I know.” Mike grins. “Do you uh,,.do you have a copy of that drug test?”“I can get one,” Harvey says absently. “Do you have the details of the place-”“Nope.” Mike stands up. “Can you send me a copy of it. I can talk to Louis.”Harvey stares at the laptop and then suddenly seems to relent. “I’ll have Donna get someone to give it to you. On your desk, first thing in the morning.”Mike nods and heads to his room.“Gonna go easy on him?” Harvey asks.“Nope.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Seeing Harvey stood in the middle of some shitty apartment has literally made Mike’s life.“What?”His father looks up at the ceiling like it might cave in on him. “I’m just rethinking all the parent-teacher meetings I had about you being some math prodigy.”“You had parent-teacher meetings?”“Emails.”“Ah. Yeah, those are the same.”“Always get it in writing, kid.” Harvey sighs and looks around. Mike’s bought second hand furniture apart from the mattress though he was so tempted to lie to Harvey about that. And it’s not sleek and nothing gleams but it’s comfortable and doesn’t make Mike feel like a guest or like he’s putting on an act.“You want to order pizza?” Mike asks.“Absolutely not.” Harvey stares at him. “You earn a good salary. I know. I checked.”“You checked?”There isn’t even a flicker of guilt.“I just…this is what I want right now.”Harvey nudges at something with his foot. “You’ll get a cleaner, right?”“Will it keep you up at night if I don’t?”Harvey’s wandered over to the door frame and is pushing against it. “I’ll be annoyed if I put all that time and effort into you only for you to die from being buried alive in your own squalor.”“I actually think you’re being rude about my apartment and no-one gets to be rude in the apartment that I pay for,” Mike says, grinning. Harvey turns looking amused. “I’m gonna go home then,” he says, “and have sex in my living room.”“That’s not cool.”“Nope. It’s gonna be smoking hot.”Mike’s jaw drops. “That was a really lame dad joke. You’re getting so much better at them!” He fake claps.Harvey shakes his head as he leaves but Mike is pretty sure he’s laughing.XxxHe has Trevor and Jennie over and they order take-away and it’s so good to have his own space to do this in.XxxWork continues on. Louis flitters between being actually pretty decent and then having meltdowns that make him look like a three year old screaming about something and Mike is not entirely sure what to do about that. But Greg is suddenly doing his own work and glaring and Mike and the others have realised that Mike knows every procedure and policy now and are scrambling to catch up.It’s late one night at work and most are gone when Rachel sits down next to him.“Uh…yes?” Mike asks because Rachel has firmly sided with Hunter in Mike and Hunter’s not exactly rivals but not exactly friends either situation. She looks at him and then at what he’s doing. “You’re actually putting in the hours,” she says after a moment.“Yeah,” he grins, not sure what she’s getting at. “That’s…what we do.”“You know that you could get away with doing less. Considering who your father is?”Mike groans. “Your father told you?”“Right back at you,” she snaps back but there’s an almost grin on her face. “Wanna get a drink and complain about fathers who are lawyers?”He stares at her. “Yeah.”XxxThere’s a joy to this friendship. They bitch for three hours after work about Harvey and Robert and god someone gets it. “It’s worse for me,” Rachel says on their fourth night which becomes a battle of one-up-man-ship. “At least you went to law school. And Harvard.” There’s a touch of longing in her voice.“Why haven’t you?” Mike asks frankly. “You’re clearly smart. You run rings around some of the associates. I’ve seen it.”She flushes a little and then hesitates as she stabs her straw into her drink. “I…don’t test well,” she admits. “It’s stupid. But you can’t get into law school without taking the lsats so…”Right. He debates it. “I could help? Help you study, I mean.”There’s an almost suspicious look but she seems to get past that pretty quick. “I….should just accept it.”“Afraid?” She shoves at his shoulder. “No. And I’m also not twelve,” she point out. “But it’s hard to do it over and over. Maybe I’m just not meant to be a lawyer.”He stares at her. “Harold is a lawyer,” he says and it makes her laugh even though she seems to be trying not to. “Come on. One shot. Not the ones coming up, but after that? We’ll take a proper run at it.”She watches him. “You just want me to leave so I don’t tell anyone that Harvey Specter’s son lurks among us.”“I object to the verb ‘lurk’,” Mike complains. “And hell yes. Absolutely selfish motivations.” She has the prettiest smile. XxxLife under Louis never really gets normal. There’s the rookie dinner and Hunter goes first because apparently Hunter got his signature on the contract first and Mike thinks that they should share it and then realises that would mean working with Hunter and Mike so doesn’t need to do that.Hunter’s dinner is fine because Rachel helps him and when Mike protests, she points out that he must have eaten at all kinds of fancy places with Harvey which is true, but Mike spent most of those meals complaining and just being fed steak and whatever wine Harvey deemed appropriate.Louis buys some stupidly expensive wine at Hunter’s rookie dinner. He’s easier at Mike’s. Which is saying little, but Mike is starting to learn to look for Louis’ better moments to avoid being tempted to throw a stapler at the man every other day.“How did it go?” Harvey asks on the phone. “I dunno. How should nine grand dinners go?” Mike asks as he walks out of the building. “I feel that for nine grand there should have been strippers.”“On the bright side, at least you’ve saved money with that shitty apartment of yours.”Yeah. “Is that gonna be the answer every single time I have to spend money? That I’m saving money with where I’m renting?”“You opened yourself up to it.” There’s a noise in the background. “Glad it went well, kid.”“Enjoy your sex.”There’s a snort and then the line goes dead.XxxLouis also hosts trivia nights. Those are…well. Mike finds that he quickly gets Hunter’s ‘kill me’ sign when he frequently wipes the floor with them all. And then he makes the mistake of correcting Louis when Hunter is going against Seth.“Six supreme court justice judges,” Mike chimes just as Louis is about to crown Seth the winner of that round. “Ruth Bader Ginsberg attending Harvard before she went to Columbia.”There’s silence.“You…you said that we have to be precise,” Mike says and he knows he’s just digging that grave but he can’t quite help himself. “So it’s six. Not five.”Louis continues to stare at him and then smiles. “Well. Given how precise you can be, perhaps you should have the prize.”Oh shit.“And you can share it with the associate you seem so determined to help.”What? No!The only thing that Mike and Hunter have in common is that they both share looks of identical horror.XxxThey agree with stilted conversation to meet the client first thing the next morning and that’s all they really manage to agree to. Hunter is completely lurking outside the coffee shop and Mike has an insane urge to take a clip of him and send it to Rachel as evidence of what actual lurking is like.“They not letting you in?” Mike asks.“Didn’t want to be accused of going behind your back. It’s boring listening to you whine,” Hunter says following him in.If Mike gets to order the drinks, he is so getting Hunter decaff.Their client is in a tenancy dispute in which he’s refusing to pay the rent and the landlord doesn’t seem to want to fix things. And Mike realises within about three seconds of sitting down that Hunter is so not interested in this kind of case. Or maybe it’s because their client is prone to…a little bit of exaggeration.“Picture the devil but without the charm.” Mike can see Hunter frown and open his mouth and-“Okay,” Mike cuts in. “So Karinski owned this building for two years?”“Yeah,” their client, Frank, says, “and then things got bad. Three below, the heat went out and I nearly froze to death.”There’s a loud snort. “Did you though?”Mike almost restrains the urge to sigh.“What?” Frank asks.“The emotional angle can help, but we actually need to know facts too,” Hunter says brutally. “So, did you go to hospital from it?”“I…” Frank looks at Mike as if he can help with this shit. Mike smiles reassuringly. “It’s fine,” he says, trying to find a way to smooth this. “We can go over the details in a second. But it would be good to get the broad strokes first.”Hunter stares at him and then sits back and makes a ‘go ahead’ motion with his hand.“And uh…and then a gas leak in my stove; you could smell the damn thing, but he said it was fine. I called for a month, then I had to replace it myself.”“You have the receipts?” Mike asks.Frank nods.“They’ll ask you why you didn’t move,” Hunter says and that’s a bit better. Or would be if he wasn’t staring into his drink as if that’s way more interesting.“I…my family’s gone and I grew up in that apartment,” Frank says. “I’m not leaving the one connection I have to my parents.”Yeah, Mike gets that.“And the sleeping?” Hunter asks and did he just yawn?Frank looks to Mike again.“Are you not sleeping due to stress or-” Mike tries to prompt.“Bedbugs.”“No,” Mike says, feeling that horror.“My place is literally crawling with them,” the guy says, shifting a little more to speak to Mike. “Could you sleep? Knowing the minute you turn off the light they’re coming for you?”“No,” Mike agrees.“Well, Karinski won’t do anything about it without proof and I can’t get someone from the city down to verify that they’re there.”Shit. “We can,” Mike promises and he can practically feel Hunter burning a hole into the side of his head.Xxx“What?”“You can’t promise him that,” Hunter hisses as they walk out. “Wanna bet?” Mike asks.The thing is, the guys at the city are less than helpful. Glenda at the desk is particularly uninterested and Mike narrows his eyes, trying to think-Hunter leans down when she hands on the grievance form to Mike.“See,” Hunter says, “we could also hire a private investigator to look into every aspect of your life and then use every single thing they find to ensure that you can’t get a job peddling hot-dogs.”The hot-dog thing rings a little…Harvey. This is so a Harvey influenced speech. And as someone who has been followed by investigators that Harvey has hired, Mike turns and glares back at the line behind them.“Now my colleague here is balking because he knows I’ll do it,” Hunter continues. “But I am not pissing around in this miserable place for longer than I have to. Send someone to the apartment. Today.”Okay. Glenda glares up at Hunter and then picks up the phone to make a call and Mike just catches sight of one of two people grumbling in the line, but also one of two looking surprised, like they’ve been here before and have never seen that woman pick up a phone.“A private investigator?”“Don’t you know one?”Mike sneers at him and then shakes his head. “You know we’re gonna have to go to that apartment too,” he says after a moment.“Gonna guess that rich boy has never seen bed-bugs.”The second foster home had them. That’s something that’s never really stuck out in Mike’s mind before. He was there a few weeks and then the infestation happened and he was moved.“Rich boy?” Mike simply questions.“People who are struggling to pay for school don’t have extra to blow when they feel like it.”Mike grits his teeth together because it’s so tempting to snap out that it was his friend’s stash and massively discounted, but he’s not stupid enough to verbally confirm anything to Hunter.“This cannot be done with quick enough,” Mike huffs.XxxThey head up to Frank’s apartment and Mike winces at the idea of a first edition Catcher in the Rye book being destroyed by this and then the landlord turns up with the eviction notice. Then Hunter is dashing off to meet Harvey and Mike just goes home, strips at the door and shoves his suit into a bin bag.Then showers.A lot.XxxThe next day, Hunter isn’t there, Frank realises within about three seconds that this is Mike’s first proper time in court and he pisses off the judge in about three mores seconds. Add to that the mocking Vivien Tanaka and it’s a shit show. Mike knows the codes inside and out but the gavel comes down, the eviction holds and all of it happens as Hunter approaches.“Did you…” Hunter peers at the judge, the smirking faces and Frank who looks as floored as Mike feels, “You lost.”“At least I was here,” Mike hisses.Hunter, to his surprise, doesn’t dispute that. “Louis is not gonna let this go,” he murmurs. “How…how did you lose this?”“It was my…” god saying first after that woman mocked him…”I haven’t officially done this before.”Hunter stares at him. And then, annoyingly, exchanges a look with Frank. “I can’t even be bothered to deal with that,” he decides and turns and walks away.XxxLouis mocks. Hunter has a case to get to. Mike cleared the work on his desk and so just has to take it.Harvey calls him and Mike ignores it. And everyone continues to mock and-Mike looks Vivien Tanaka up. Huh.He sidles over to Hunter’s desk.“No,” the man says, not looking up.“You know Vivien Tanaka represents half the high-rises in Manhattan?”Hunter pauses and looks up. “So she’s not getting involved with-”“Yeah, I got there already,” Hunter snaps. “This can’t be the only person suffering then.”“On it,” Mike says.XxxHe gets Rachel.She plays snobby, dissatisfied wife very well and Mike channels the inner Harvey.“You said you needed me to class it up?” Rachel whispers as they stare out through the glass. “Some of your questions-”“You seriously need to see my Dad’s place,” Mike says with a grin. “And hear his comments about mine.”Rachel presses her lips together. “I cam imagine it.”XxxHarvey walks past the conference room as Mike’s about to go in to talk to the fifteen odd people that he and Rachel have managed to find. “What are they here for?” he demands. “And answer your goddamned phone.”“We’re at work-”“Who are they?” Harvey asks again, pointing.“It’s my lawsuit. Well, mine and Hunter’s, but he’s been running around for this-”“We’re at work,” Harvey reminds him softly.“-other case,” Mike finishes neatly. “But Johnny Karinski isn’t gonna know what hit him. I mean between this building and the one Rachel and I are about to buy into.”Harvey actually looks confused. “You’re leaving the shit hole?”“No we looked as a newly married couple and-”Harvey’s confused expression doesn’t exactly ease at that.“I needed her to add some class-”His father actually pinches the bridge of his nose.“And I couldn’t sleep last night. Kept thinking of the bedbugs-” he stops when Harvey takes a deliberate step back. “You know, Hunter was in that building too.”Harvey actually winces. He looks into the room and nods. “How many do you have?”“Fifteen.”“It’s a good start,” Harvey says, “But if you want to go up against Tanaka again, you need to have some cold hard facts. The emotional stories won’t be enough.”Huh. Mike nods. “Thanks.”Harvey blinks. That’s all it is, a blink but he takes another step back. “I’m gonna…go do what I gotta do,” he says and then turns, still looking almost confused. Xxx“I got an idea,” Mike says, catching Hunter. “Apart from the people in conference room C?” Hunter asks. “You really don’t like to lose, do you?”Who does? “The carpet,” Mike says. “Look. It’s the same one that was in Frank’s place.”Hunter glances at the picture and then, for what might be the first time in the guy’s life, smiles. “We can stick it to Tanaka?” he checks.Mike nods.They stick it to Tanaka. And watching her face when the carpet segment is put down on the fancy rug is one of the best things that Mike has seen in a long time.Mike lets Hunter go to Louis. Given how he ended up with the case in the first place, it’s better not to add to it.XxxThe biggest blessing to working at Pearson Hardman is that Harvey has to order in now because going out to fancy restaurants together is a little bit pushing it.“To your first win,” Harvey says, toasting a beer at him. “And settling outside of court. Never go to court, kid.”Mike rolls his eyes. “It felt good,” he admits.“Winning?” Harvey asks with a knowing smirk.Yeah. But also helping people. They were so genuinely pleased and relieved to have someone see them. “I crumbled at court,” Mike admits. “I just…I couldn’t…”“It happens,” Harvey says. “That’s why we give you pro-bono work. These people wouldn’t have anything anyway.”Yeah. Mike swallows down his beer. “Did you ever crumble in court?”The answer, predictably, is ‘no’.Then, “Not as a lawyer.”Huh?“Family court,” Harvey explains. “When Jessica and I were arguing the amendment…it wasn’t long or drawn out. Barely five minutes but…” He dug into his takeaway a little violently with a fork. “I had some experience before I stepped into a courtroom as a lawyer.”Huh.XxxIt’s six days later when Trevor calls him, begging for bail money.It’s a mess. Jennie is crying and confused and telling everyone that they’ve made a mistake; Trevor isn’t a drug dealer. And Mike can’t look at her and she slaps him and walks out and the cop at the desk looks like he’s finding this more interesting than the soap opera on TV.Mike stares at the amount with a sinking feeling of dread. He can just about manage this, but it’s really close and he is suddenly so relieved that he didn’t rent out some fancy place because he is going to have to deal with this for a while.Trevor sits on Mike’s sofa looking miserable.“I just…” he closes his eyes. “I was trying to slow down or stop and then the money it just…” he looks lost. “I don’t even know how I got into that much debt.”Somewhere, Mike is certain that he can hear Laura’s voice, whispering the same.“Mike,” Trevor says when he stays silent. “Dude, I know…you’ve doe so much already but…I really need a good lawyer-”“Trevor…I lost housing court,” Mike says with a sigh. “I’m not…I don’t know how to argue this case. And Harvey won’t,” he adds when Trevor opens his mouth. “Not when he hears about what you’ve been charged with.”“I’m your best friend.” Mike shakes his head. “At least ask. Please?” Trevor begs.He is way too soft for this. Nodding, Mike gets up and goes into his bedroom and calls his Dad.“You,” Harvey says as he answers, “are not at your desk.”Oh that is like the worst start. “I uh…got a call.” There’s an uninterested silence. “Trevor was arrested.”“Good.” Then it’s like knowing a balloon is being pumped up; there some sounds from air being displaced and that’s it, but Mike still knows what’s happening because his father is suddenly all retrained fury. “You paid his bail.”Mike opens his mouth and then leans his head against the wall. “Any chance you want to-”“You finish that sentence and I am dragging you to the hospital to look for brain damage,” Harvey promises.“Right.”“Cut him loose.”Mike shakes his head.“You’re a grown up,” Harvey says eventually. “You make dumb decisions, it’s on you.”“Great. Real helpful, Dad,” Mike snaps and hangs up. And then winces because he does actually have to go back into the office.When he pokes his head out, Trevor has his head between his knees.“So how much of that did you-”“All of it,” Trevor tells the floor.This might just be the worst day ever.XxxHe keeps his head down at work, occasionally messaging Trevor to keep him from strangling himself with one of the skinny ties that Harvey always complains about.“You,” Harvey says arriving about three hours after Mike gets back. “Follow me.”Ugh, this is so unfair.XxxHarvey marches Mike right into his office where the blinds have already been drawn and points at a seat. And Mike obeys because…well…It seems the wisest thing to do.“isn’t this against all the rules that-” Mike trails off when he sees Harvey actually turn off the intercom button to Donna. “Okay…”“Get him out of your apartment,” Harvey snarls, pointing down at Mike. Mike stares up at him and then at the finger. “It’s my apartment,” he argues.“You just cleared out all of your savings to get that shit head out of prison?” Harvey asks. “This is the stuff that makes you an idiot. Your bleeding heart that just has to help all the puppies and drug dealers in the world.”“Don’t go there,” Mike hisses. “And what? Am I meant to be like you? With your suit that costs more than rent? Ignoring everyone around me?”Harvey shakes his head. “If I was, I wouldn’t be wasting my time with this conversation. He is an anchor around your neck and he will drag you down with him.”Mike stands and Harvey barely moves an inch. “Is this an associate, senior partner discussion?”Harvey says nothing.“Your rules, Mr Specter,” Mike says, almost hurling the title at the man.“Fine,” Harvey says and nods. “Then I will throw so much goddamned work at you, you won’t have time to piss.”“I am not your associate and Louis is my line manager,” Mike snaps back. “And we both know if you go through him, you’ll have to explain why.”Harvey suddenly smiles and it’s like a shark smelling prey. “I don’t give a shit if he works it out or not, kid.”It’s an effective bullet in the chamber as these things go. “Do it,” Mike says, raising his chin, “and I will give that man every single bit of ammunition I can to make your life hell.”Harvey tilts his head. Ever so slightly, more like the crick of a muscle. “Like what?” he asks.Shit.And suddenly Harvey looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “Wow,” he says and turns away. “You desperately need…” He grins as he sits down. “Don’t bluster, kid, unless you have something to back it up.”Mike despises these moments. He’s been backed into a corner and he wants to go for the throat but he has no idea what that would look like. Harvey knows all of his weaknesses and has never really shown Mike one of his. “Are we done?”“If Trevor isn’t out of your apartment by tomorrow morning, I’m going to Louis. And I’m not being subtle.” Harvey stands up and buttons up his suit jacket. “Cut him loose.”Xxx“You have guests,” Alina at reception tells him.Mike shakes his head as if she can see that through the phone. “What?”“They’ve been referred to you by your friend, Trevor.”Mike closes his eyes.XxxIt’s a public building and there’s not much they can do. He walks by but they seem to recognise him and Mike ends up shaking them with an old police trick he learned when in foster care where if you just point towards a group while talking to a uniform, that group tends to scatter.He rips his suit and Trevor isn’t home when he finally gets back.His stuff is still there though, But he ignores the voice messages.And Mike gets one from Harvey that is pretty much just a place and time to meet and Mike wants to throw something.Dick.The place and time happens to be court and Mike sits in the back watching Harvey argue for Ray who gives him a small wink when Hunter isn’t looking. When he takes the stand to act as a witness, Hunter spots him and looks momentarily confused.Mike just rolls his eyes and mouths ‘leaning experience’ and Hunter almost smiles again which is surely a sign that the apocalypse is coming.Trevor calls and Mike leaves because if Trevor has found somewhere then that solves all his problems except it’s the guys from the other day and they want Mike to pay $50,000.Does everyone think Mike has some sort of money tree stashed in his bathroom or something?Harvey catches up with him as he crosses the street.“Are you kidding me right now?” Harvey yells.“My friend’s in trouble and I’m gonna help him.”“This is getting boring,” Harvey explodes. “I don’t know where you got this martyr complex from but it ends now. Cut him-”“Well that’s what they’re gonna do,” Mike yells, whirling around to him.“Oh bullshit.” Harvey dismisses. “This, this is you just self-sabotaging. Again. Because it’s all you manage to do, isn’t it?”“Fine,” Mike says, barely listening and it’s weirdly that which makes Harvey grab at his arm.“You were serious,” Harvey says and Mike tries to wriggle free but Harvey over the years has developed some sort of mechanism for just holding onto Mike’s arm as long as he wants. “Tell me what’s going on.”“You said I was a grown-up and-”“Mike.”He hates that tone of voice. And it’s not fair to use it outside of home. “He owes money. They know I posted bail so…they have him and they want me to pay.” He shakes his head. “I have an hour.”Harvey desperately wants to make a comment about Trevor, Mike can tell, but he just nods. “Where are they?” he asks.XxxIt’s both brilliant and awful.It’s brilliant because his Dad sweeps in, cool as you please and somehow manages to lawyer these idiots into handing over Trevor and walks out like he’s just gone to court again.It’s awful because Mike now has something to picture when he thinks about how it could have gone with Laura.But ultimately, it’s shit because Trevor is found guilty and gets eighteen months.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When they do mock trials at work, Louis pairs Kyle and Hunter against each other and it’s wildly obvious that Kyle accepted the pony speech without implying it was weird. Louis gives Mike Harold and it’s shit because no matter how Mike wins, it’s not gonna be a challenge. And that’s not arrogance, it’s more that he knows Harold is nervous and desperately wants to fit in and whatever that really is about, it’s Mike that he holds onto the tightest and he doesn’t really want to go head to head against Mike and it’s annoying.They’re the first to go up against each other and Mike just uses it as court experience. He wins quickly and Jessica is staring a hole into Louis’ head and seems deeply unimpressed by the set-up.Harvey doesn’t even bother to show up which like, there’s no reason for him to, but still it’s disappointing that it didn’t even warrant a look through the glass.But it does mean that Mike is done with the ‘extra work load’ early.Paul Porter is the most sinfully boring man on the planet and bankruptcy is…fitting. But the man seems genuinely pleased to have Mike helping out and it’s shocking how many discrepancies could be picked up. “Having fun?”Mike looks up. He’s in the bankruptcy offices and it’s quiet and so there’s no reason for Jessica to be here.“Learning,” Mike says after a minute. “This is all about the safest route. Not something I’ve had an education about.”Jessica smiles at that as she takes a seat and gestures for the documents that Mike’s working on. He hands them over, not sure what she’s doing but this is already the most interesting conversation that he’s had in two days.She looks over his work and he takes it as a hint that he can get on with some work. It’s almost ten minutes later when she hands him back the folder.“You really do have an eye for detail,” Jessica says. “You could do well in this department.”Mike looks up in horror and she laughs. “Thank god. Harvey has been sulking about you being here for the whole day.” She settles back. “What are you doing here?”“If I know how it works, I don’t have to ask?” Mike asks. “So this is strategic.”Mike nods. “And never hurts to make friends.”“Mm.” She folds her legs and brushes down her skirt absently even though Mike is sure that no lint would dare to approach her clothes. “The problem is, you’re looking at this like war.”It makes him frown because of all of the complaints he’d expected, that’s not it! “That’s a problem?”“If you continue to be this sneaky you will be overlooked.” She meets his gaze and Mike refuses to shift or react. “Associates don’t plan like this. You are because your goal is to take on Harvey and win and you know already some of his weaknesses.”Mike smiles a little. “That sounds wrong.”“No. For you to believe that you are worthwhile in this job, you need to stand at Harvey’s level. It’s stupid, but I get it. Harvey has seventeen years on you when it comes to this job. But he’s taken me on and I took on my mentors-”“You did?”She tilts her head. “Have you seen the name of this firm?”Fair point. “He hates going to trial.”Jessica nods. “And at the moment, you have no trial experience.”“No partner takes an associate to court. Not if they’re not being mentored. And all the senior partners have associates.”Jessica nods. “Take someone’s place then.” She stands up. “Does bankruptcy give you trial experience?”No.She smiles. “Then I won’t see you here tomorrow.”XxxThere are eleven senior partners at the firm not including Harvey or Jessica. Some are in charge of certain departments, most have their own areas of expertise but Jessica lets most float a little. If they bring in a client then they are in charge of that client.So he needs to look through their client lists.Frank Yates. He’s pretty old-hand at this and he’s been with the firm for years, back when it was Gorden Schmidt and VanDyke. And while no-one would dare to put an age on Jessica, he’s been here much longer than her.And he specialises in defence. Mostly, Frank does white collar criminal defence cases, but there are also general defence cases. In comparison, Harvey tends to stick with more corporate matters where he keeps a client and then is ‘their guy’ whenever something comes up.When he looks through old cases, Harvey worked with Frank on and off as an associate when he first came into the firm which makes sense. Harvey would have walked in from being a prosecutor and therefore should have known which arguments would be used. But the two men appeared to have vastly different attitudes towards trying cases and Frank stopped asking for Harvey after a while.Frank has claimed three associates and two partners and Jessica seems to have let him get on with it all. The associates are people that Mike has kind of seen around, but they’re all senior associates and way above him in terms of experience. They’ve worked with Frank for years and Mike isn’t exactly going to be able to get anything up on them.But he’s new. And young. And fresh.And he’s pretty sure he knows how to play this.XxxHe heads over to Harvey’s after work because the man does actually keep old records and Mike sort of remembers seeing something in a box and he doesn’t expect Harvey to be in. Except that when he opens the door, there’s a familiar face sitting at the breakfast bar.“Scottie,” Mike greets.She raises her glass of wine to him and, once again, she’s obviously been naked but this time has a robe on. “You grew up,” she says and the smile turns a little more fond. He hesitates for a moment and then wanders over, picking up the bottle on wine. “This is in French.”“Can you read it?”Yes. “Plums and cloves,” he says and hands it back. “Sounds like something you dunk your head in at Halloween.”Scottie snorts. “See if we could put you and your father together-”“I beg of you don’t finish that sentence.” He points to a wine glass because it’s definitely not Harvey’s wine and she nods and seems to settle into her chair a little more. “Do I dare ask where Dad is?”“Tied to the bed.”Mike winces as he pours the wine. He puts in just enough to try it because he’s endured Harvey’s lectures about wasting quality products before. “In the shower,” Scottie relents. “I hear you’re working with Harvey now.”“By that if you mean in the same building and am banned from crossing paths unless his highness deems it appropriate then yes, yes we are.”“And it’s mock trial time.” She watches him take a sip and shoots him an enquiring look. It’s actually pretty nice and Mike looks at it in surprise. “How’s yours going?”“I got put against the most nervous guy you’ve ever met and won which achieved nothing. All risk and no gain.” Mike walks around and sits on the stool next to her. He pulls the wine glass close. “You ever met Louis Litt?”“Oh yes. He’s like a chiwawa.” Scottie takes a sip. “He decided the order of play?”“Set his pony up with Harvey’s puppy. That’s the show of the week.”Scottie seems to find something in that funny. “Did Harvey’s puppy try to settle first?”“Is it a day where the earth rotated?” Mike asks and then shrugs. “Backfired. But Kyle’s more annoying than Hunter so…guess I’m rooting for the puppy.” He looks at her. “Who’s winning out of you two?” he asks, nodding at Harvey’s bedroom door.She tosses her head back a little. “I’m insulted that you’ve had to ask.”He toasts the glass at her and drinks the last sip just as the bathroom door opens and, when he and Scottie turn, Harvey is looking between them.Naked.Mike turns away. “Wow. That’s two of my superiors I’ve seen this year without their clothes.” He stands. “Is that something I should report.”“I would,” Scottie says and she smiles sweetly when Harvey glares. Rolling his eyes, Mike can see the man reaching for a towel.“This is cosy,” Harvey says, coming forward.“Did you know your son could read French?”“I did,” Harvey says and takes Mike’s seat. “Can’t speak it though.”That’s fair. “Not good at accents, and pronunciation. I butcher languages,” Mike agrees as he heads to what is more like the office part of the main room and crouches down to look at the files that Donna probably put together.Scottie hums when her phone lights up. “I’m gonna take this,” she says and stands. “Mike, if you’re gone when I’m done-”“Bring the wine again next time?” Mike asks, popping his head up hopefully.She nods and then disappears into Harvey’s bedroom.Maybe that file? Mike sits crossed legged and pulls the file out to place it on his lap.Dimly, he’s aware that Harvey is watching him but he stays silent for a while. And Mike sort of ignores him, letting Harvey just sit and think whatever overly hubris concept is going through his mind. “You gonna tell me what you’re doing?” Harvey asks eventually.“I would,” Mike says, flicking through. “But then politeness dictates that I ask you and we both know what you’re doing.”“Cute.” Harvey shifts to face him fully. “What are you doing?”“Reading.” Mike shrugs. “I could get these at the office, but then people would see me doing it so-”“I’m seeing it.”“You’re not people,” Mike replies absently. But he can feel Harvey’s glare. “Look, you saw the mock trial lists. Louis has decided to limit my air time. So. I’m looking to get out from under him.”Harvey takes a sip of Scottie’s wine and then winces at it. “You’re going after Frank Yates,” Harvey decides.“Did Jessica tell you?” Mike asks, flipping through the next few pages, looking at the dates.“I don’t need Jessica to tell me that,” Harvey dismisses. “You know you’ll be defending people. Rich people. A lot will be guilty.”“You about to lecture me on my soft heart?”Harvey shakes his head. “You’ll either get over it or you won’t.”Mike nods. “Can I-”“Bring it back by the end of the week.” Mike nods and then stands with the folder. “I’d say enjoy your evening but I can’t quite get those words out of my mouth.”“Is that because you’re jealous?” Harvey mocks. “Because I don’t think I’ve ever walked in on you with a partner before.”Mike just taps his nose as he heads to the door.XxxSomehow he finds himself at Jenny’s door.She opens it, and stares at him. And then hugs him.“It’s stupid,” she complains as they sit on the kitchen counter eating ice-cream. “I miss him and he lied to me, but I still miss him.”Yeah. “Have you visited him?”Jenny nods. “Once. He told me to go. Told me it was too hard.” She presses her spoon into the bowl, flattening the scoop. “It’s so weird seeing Trevor in prison. It’s weird going there.”Mike nods. “I saw him twice. He…he keeps talking to me about law and lawyers and,” Mike looks down. “I’m not good enough, Jenny. Not yet.”“He did it,” Jenny says firmly. “What? I’m not…but he did it. No-one forced him, Mike. He did the crime.”“And the circumstances don’t matter, right?” Mike asks quietly.“Huh?”“It’s something…never mind,” Mike says shaking his head. “Right this is…depressing. We are depressing,” he scolds and Jenny laughs and nods. “So. Good things. Tell me five good things that happened this month.”Jenny smiles. “I…I found an amazing coffee place. My mom came over and actually gave me a compliment. I now know more about prison sentences for drug use,” Mike winces at that, “And I got to catch up with a really good guy. Who I missed.”It makes Mike really smile and he nudges at her with his shoulder, gently. “That’s a really good one,” he agrees and she sighs and lays her head on his shoulder. “Missed you too,” he admits, and lays his head on hers.XxxHe starts off carefully in Frank’s domain. He proofs some witness statements, cross checks them with earlier statements and lists any inconsistencies. And then hands his work to Cynthia who looks surprised.“My mock trial finished quickly,” Mike explains as she glances through his work. “Just…trying to get a feel for different areas.”Cynthia nods slowly. “Come on then,” she says after a moment. XxxWithin four days, he’s in front of Frank. Who is under no illusion as to what Mike is doing. And Mike is honest, says that it interests him and that he wants trial experience and he’s under no illusion that he’ll be on the list to stand in front of a jury, but the more he sees, the more he helps and the more he does pro-bonos on his own times, the better he’ll get.“Then you’ll do what the others did. You’ll be my first call in if they think you’re needed. You work, you prove to me what kind of man you are and then we’ll talk again.”Mike grins.XxxIt’s Friday when he goes to return the file and Harvey is sitting alone, staring into space.“Dad?”Harvey visibly starts and turns to him. “Yeah kid?”“Everything okay?”Harvey turns around again. “Scottie…she’s getting married,” he says.Oh.Mike puts the file down and reaches into the cupboard for the good whiskey and two glasses. Then walks over and pours them, pushing one towards Harvey who watches him.“Congratulations on winning the merger,” Mike says softly.“Congratulations on winning the mock trial,” Harvey says after a moment.“Yeah,” Mike smiles down at the drink. “To hollow victories.”Harvey actually toasts it.XxxIt’s two weeks later and the first case that Mike gets to come in on is because one of the senior associates is sick and they have another case running side by side.“You and me,” Frank says, nodding Mike in. “Most useful and least useful. I’ll need to oversee the others too.” He tosses Mike a file. “Get up to speed.”It’s a rape case.Mike lets out a long breath and then starts to flick through. It’s the daughter of some billionaire who’s being accused of rape and Mike drags in a breath at it. He knows that Frank is watching him carefully.There was a party and he was one of the wait staff. He’s handsome, Mike thinks as he looks at the file and twenty-one years old to Penelope’s twenty seven. She claims the sex was consensual and he claims that he was fed a cocktail of Viagra and then tied to her bed.“I need you to find a way to discredit the boy.”Mike takes another breath.“It’s not for everyone.”He lets the breath out.Harvey once did this the other way. He prosecuted first and then came to defend.If he can do this, he can do anything. And she might be innocent.It’s a childish thought. He knows what he’s getting into. Defending people…it’s a job. He can’t decide who is worthy of his time. Of his ability. Of his job.“Are there witnesses?”Frank nods very slowly. “Her friends. Claim consensual sex.”“Right. And the prosecution will try to discredit them?”“You,” Frank says leaning forward, “are discrediting the boy because that is the hardest thing to do. If you can do it and if you can watch me use what you find, then I’ll know that you can do this.”Mike nods. “Do you want me to work up here?”Frank seems to accept what he’s saying. “I’m overseeing both cases, so I need you to be close when I do.”XxxMike gets very well acquainted with Peter Swafford.He was removed by social services when he was thirteen because his mom was an addict and his dad had overdosed. Foster families after and Mike can remember what the older teenagers were like in those homes. Did well at school, but never pushed and his attendance was shocking. No fund for colleges and his record wasn’t good enough to get a free ride and then a string of bar jobs and waiting jobs and there was an arrest for suspected prostitution but the charges were dropped.It’s probably a goldmine. Mike writes down everything he can find, makes a note of which teachers to go to, the arresting officer and previous employers and as he does it, he makes sure that their paths have never crossed. No employers, no schools, no homes.The fact that he even does it probably means that he’s empathising with Peter more than he should.It isn’t hard work. But Mike can figure out why he’s been put on this. There’s almost too much that could be used against Peter Swafford and it’s temping to just stop at a certain point but Mike keeps on going.He gets it. Everything.Frank’s eyebrows raise as he goes through all that Mike has two days later. “Now,” he says, tossing the folder down. “Argue against it.”Mike shifts. “I don’t-”“Try.”He flips it in his head. “Peter Swafford is a victim of society and it’s continuing.”“Penelope is rich and beautiful-”“So?” Mike asks. “By whose standards is she beautiful? He had Viagra in his system-”“People enjoy rough sex.”“You think most twenty one year olds need to have Viagra? You think that they wouldn’t see it as being insulting or detrimental to their sexual prowess? Where’s the proof that he agre ed to take the drug.”Frank leans back. “Hmm.” And then he makes a note on the paper. “Found anything to suggest he’s homosexual?”Mike blinks. “Um…” he checks through in his head. “He’s had sexual relations with women. It’s in there-” “No evidence of men?”Mike shakes his head. “But I’ll admit that I didn’t think to look into it. No-one I asked talked about men, I was sure to use ‘partner’ when I asked.” He shifts. “Do you think they’ll try to use it?”“It’s a claim some prosecutors use when women are being accused of rape. It’s just something to check for in case of any surprises.” Frank pours some water and pushes it towards Mike. “Now. Argue what you’ve found.”Flip it again.“It’s hard,” Mike says, “without seeing the defendant.”“You know why I haven’t given you anything on her?”Mike nods. “I can’t humanise her. You’re testing to see if I can do this when the only person I have any information on, the only person I can sympathise with, is the victim.”“Alleged victim.”“Same reason why you called him ‘boy’ when you first gave me the case because it makes me feel for him more than her.” Mike sighs and gestures to the pile. “The problem with this is picking the battles. If we use all of this, we come across as aggressive bullies, as rich lawyers throwing everything at it. Rape cases tend to be men raping women and the jury will respond to a woman raping a man in a specific way depending on their background, right? So…I don’t know the defendant, the jury or anything else. I can't argue it effectively.”“Clark’s back in,” Frank said after he nodded very slowly. “You are free. But I do think you’re worth working with. So we’ll call you in when we do need help. And yes. It’s not for everyone.”Mike hesitates and then stands because it seems like they’re done?“Though I have to say, your father was the first person who struggled due to my methods rather than the cases,” he debates it. “Up to a point”“Shit,” Mike mutters and then slides back into the seat. “You knew.”Frank chuckles. “Harvey was working for me when you came to live with him. Back then we’d argue about court. Cameron Dennis taught him to mistrust juries and his style is abrasive; he’s determined to have people see him win. He relied on the fact that a prosecutor is less likely to look like an arrogant figure. They have the law behind them and rarely walk into the court room in suits that cost more than most people’s entire wage packet. It didn’t work quite so well the other way around and Harvey would get frustrated that he wasn’t the lead on cases. Because he thought that if he was, he’d win,” Frank adds, rolling his eyes.“So we argued and he disliked when I gave him something to argue.” Frank nods at something in his memory, but doesn’t share it with Mike. “And then we had a client come to us. A charity accused of sexual molestation of a minor. Harvey refused to help.”He pushes the file towards Mike.“A blond haired, twelve year old boy. But, in this case, it turned out that the father was the molester and was trying to discredit the charity. The child, as can be the way, was protecting his abuser.”“And if it hadn’t been that way around?”Frank seems to debate it. “Funny, how you assume it’s true just because a jury has agreed it’s true? Do you think you ever really know?” He shakes his head. “believe me, if you’re good at arguing you can prove almost anything. But in the end, most people are very human. We are products of our lives and there are people who do terrible things and…it’s temping to call them monsters and indefensible. But there’s always a reason. Or at least something that sounds reasonable to them. A jury then decides whether it’s an excusable reason. Whether it should be punishment, retribution or improvement that the guilty are given.” He shifts. “Harvey sees a lawyer’s job as convincing everyone to agree with you. I see it as laying out an argument because that’s my job. I’m not the one that makes the judgement. And it pisses me off when the lawyer on the other side of the table is shit because they don’t push or push too much but ultimately we do what everyone does in normal life. We provide a narrative, we enter bias and we wait for judgement.”Mike nods slowly. “I get that.” He smiles. “I’m not sure I completely agree with it, but…I think it’s an important way to view it.”“You need to get better at trusting in things. And you need to learn to have faith in what you say. So, every time I take on an associate, I give you a challenge. A line of argument to give me from your live. A concept to argue. Come back with evidence for me, and a convincing argument” Frank said, “and I’m two years from retirement, and I already know the answers and the evidence.”Mike looks at the file. “I-”“Statement. Harvey Specter’s biggest weakness is that he cares too much.”Mike snorts with laughter but Frank remains absolutely serious and Mike blinks.“And there is no-one in his life that he cares more about than his son. Therefore, his son is his most vulnerable place to attack because he loves him unconditionally.” Frank opens his arms. “Bring me evidence and a convincing argument.”But… like…Mike knows Harvey loves him. He’s over that. And he knows that Harvey does put things aside to help him, but if you were to ask Harvey what his ambition in life would be, it wouldn’t occur to him to say anything about his relationship with Mike. Not because it’s not important, it’s just because that’s not where Harvey’s head is. And his life purpose would definitely not be fulfilled if all he had was a good relationship with Mike. “I…Why?”Frank shrugs and it’s so relaxed that Mike realises that he probably has done this challenge. With a lot of people. For years. “We’re products of our lives, Mike. And a scared little boy who still is waiting to be sent back to foster-care if he screws up enough will not be the lawyer I need. Who his client needs. Everyone in this world needs to know someone is on their side. No matter what. And you doubt it. And I’ve watched you here.” Frank sits forward. “You are Harvey’s son and you play it so safe. Yet he seems continuously surprised by it so this isn’t normal for you. You see-saw between cautious and wildly out of line. I’ll call you in on cases. But I’ll ask you to prove this to me. Confidently and with conviction. And the day that you do, no matter what the case, you’ll to be my second chair.”Mike lets out a disbelieving laugh. “Seriously?”“Two years, Mike," Frank says, standing. "After that you'll have to travel a hell of a long way to see me. And if I have to come out of retirement to uphold this, I'll be really pissed.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“This?” Rachel checks as she walks into Mike’s apartment for the first time. “I’m starting to see why Harvey hates it.”“Do I come to your apartment and make fun of it?” Mike asks, taking of his suit jacket and heading for the couch. She gives him a look, but takes a seat next to him. “Okay, so Frank has set me a challenge and you might be the only person who can help.”“Sure,” she says, brushing her hair behind her ear. “What do you need?”“I have to prove that I’m Harvey’s greatest vulnerability. And it’s because he love me above all else,” and it sounds so stupid saying it that his tone goes sarcastic without him intending it.“Mike-”“Look,” Mike draws in a breath. “It sounds dumb I just…it’s about how to argue for something and believe it. And I…wobble sometimes. My dad is…” he turns to her fully. “Both our dads work at something where you cannot afford a weakness. Where there are no vulnerabilities. You must-”“I get it,” Rachel says quietly. “It’s um… a weird task to be set though.”Mike shrugs. “Apparently he does it with every new associate that he brings into his cases. And Frank…he said that we can’t know a truth of someone’s thoughts. We just have trust in a narrative. And I…need more trust so…” he gestures. “This is stupid-”“Mike, it's okay,” Rachel says, cutting across his rambling. “Do you have alcohol?”Mike nods slowly. “I have beer?” She stares at him.Wow, okay. “I will go to the shops.”Xxx“So,” Rachel says once the wine is poured and takeaway ordered. “Let’s um…let’s do a pro and con list. Or for and against.” She sets up her laptop. “For?”“He…" So maybe it was best to start from the beginning? "He had custody of me as a baby.”Rachel nods as she types. “Plenty of parents do and they don’t love their kids.”“Whoa!” Mike protested, glaring at her. She glares right back at him. “We’re using this as practise arguments, right? That’s what Frank wants you to do. To argue something so personal that is just about motivations tied to the right evidence. So we drag everything through the coals.”Huh. Okay, yeah, he can see the logic, but even so... “I’m worried you might enjoy this too much.," Mike chides and then squirms a bit as he stares at the laptop screen before he gives a sigh of defeat. "Fine, okay. Sure. Let's turn me even more neurotic."She smiles. “You can do it back to me too.”Surprisingly, it makes Mike grin. “He…okay, he had me adopted. Wanted me to have a better life.”“And himself.”He snorts. “This is genuinely like the annoying voice in my head has found a body to occupy.”“Good.” Rachel has set the page up as a table and there’s argument and counters which makes him smile. “Such a baby lawyer.”“Shut up.” She looks at him expectantly. “He…got an amendment to regain custody of me should…I dunno. If needed.”“You’ve never seen it?” Rachel checks.He actually hasn’t. Shaking his head, Mike leans forward. “He must have it somewhere. And it must be filed somewhere.”“So we need to find that.” Rachel taps away at the keyboard again. “He took you back in.”Mike nods. “Could have been duty. Or Gordon. My grandfather,” he adds. “I was a shithead to them both for months.” Mike draws in breath. “And I’d argue as to what he would have done if my grandfather hadn’t been able to live with us.”Rachel says nothing this time as she types.“Trying to think of a counter-counter?” he asks, watching her.“No,” she says and then crumbles when he glares. “Okay, I was trying to picture Harvey in full Dad mode with meals and packed lunches and checking your homework-”“We cooked occasionally,” Mike says after a moment. “And homework check was ‘Have you done your goddamned homework’?” Or ‘Why is this a B?’” he says in his best Harvey expression.Rachel laughs. “That…really does ring a bell.” She takes a sip of her wine. “Next?”“Mm, sort of goes downhill after that.” Mike flops his head back. “My biological mother showed up and he got annoyed I was curious. Which I get. He has some loyalty issues.” He hesitates suddenly and realises who he is talking to.Rachel waits and then looks at him expectantly. “Okay,” Mike says, “I don’t want to sound insulting but I just realised I am handing over a lot of information about Harvey to Robert Zane’s daughter and a future kick-ass lawyer.”She hums and then opens a new document and hands it to him. “Do mine,” she offers.Seems fair.XxxHis meetings with Rachel start to be twice a week; once for LSATs preparation and one for arguing techniques as they’ve taken to calling their other study sessions.It’s good. Mike finds that it toughens him up a little to start using his relationship with Harvey for academic learning and it also…there are so many narratives he could take with the man. And maybe it makes him realise that he leans into the ones that he fears the most.It doesn’t exactly stop it from happening, it’s just easier to identify and stop himself from spinning when it does.At work, they’ve taken on the Apple Creek High school plaintiffs against Emerco Petroleum and it’s Jessica’s case which means every associate is trying to impress and be seen to be helping and it’s both hilarious and frustrating to try and stand out among the crowd.Even Hunter’s down with them.“Wow,” Mike says as the guy sends someone on their way. “That was almost chatty.”Hunter is marking something off a list. “And that was almost witty.”Huh. Smiling, Mike looks back at the law journal he’s flicking through. “You know you might almost be progressing to socialising with people.”“Yeah,” Hunter murmurs, “If that’s the reward then I think I’ll pass.”“Rude.”“Honest,” Hunter says and then starts to flick through other documents on his clipboard. “You don’t approve of networking?” Mike asks.“Not with Kyle and Seth,” Hunter sneers and then looks at Mike. “I’ve done that. You go to bars, you boast, you try and work out what everyone’s up to, people boast about their sex life and then people show off with drinks or…” he eyes Mike up, “other things.”“Look,” Mike wheels the chair close. “I…I don’t know what you’ve heard or what your issue is but I was drug tested. In fact Louis drug tested me again as soon as he could. And I don’t have to think very hard to work out why he’s doing that.”Hunter doesn’t even seem to want to deny it. “Didn’t know you’d put it together,” he admits. “and we’ve met.”Huh. Mike tilts his head and shakes his head slowly. “I-”“August. Third year.”Ooh. “Ah,” Mike says, sitting back in his chair. “You witnessed full melt down mode.” He closes his eyes. “How bad was I?”Hunter stares at the table for a moment and then looks at him. “You have one of the most amazing minds I’ve ever seen.” He shakes his head. “For years I watched you. And it’s…do you know you once corrected a professor because they used the wrong adjective?”Yeah. Mike really does know that. “You cited the entire paragraph. No mistakes.” Hunter shook his head. “Every single person in our class hated you and envied you. You were the guy that was just gonna fly.” He watches Mike. “And you brought a drug dealer to campus.”Mike is very careful to not let his face change. Trevor came up yes, but…Okay so maybe they went to some parties…“And you’re telling me that you, you, don’t remember what happened?”Mike shook his head. And looks down the library stacks and then scoots a bit closer. “I…really went full meltdown,” he says. “I…um…it doesn’t excuse things but home went to shit and-”Hunter snorts.“What because I’m some rich kid that doesn’t have problems.”Hunter actually smiles but it’s all teeth and half snarl. “Whatever. I just know your kind of socialising and I know them,” he says, nodding at the associates. “I don’t need to see any of you after work hours.”And with that he’s gone.Xxx“Trevor?”His friend sits down at the table in the prison visiting room which is possibly one of the most depressing rooms that Mike has ever sat in, and he's had a few contenders. Trevor looks thinner and tired, but pretty much fine. Well, as fine as someone can look when they’re in prison.“Hey,” Trevor says and looks around the room. “How’s real life?”“The sun stopped rising yesterday. Tomorrow they think zombies will walk." Mike smiles at hi,, but he knows it's wobbly. "It’s totally like some xbox game, dude.”Trevor smiles, but it’s forced. “It sucks,” Mike says after a bit. “I saw Jenny though. She said you told her not to come and see you.”“Yeah,” Trevor shrugs. “It’s hard. Hard in here too. Soon as they here what you’re in for?” He looks around. “People have expectations.”Mike winces and then shifts forward. “I actually need to ask something.”“Shoot.”“Do you remember when you came to see me in Harvard. Summer before my final year?” Mike checks and how was it only a year and a half ago? “Do you um…do you remember a guy called Hunter James?”Trevor shakes his head. “What does he look like?”“Tall. Dark.”“And handsome?” Trevor mocks.“Looks like he’s chewed on something sour all the time?” Mike adds, tuning him out. “He… he said we met. You, me and him, but dude, I don’t remember and he’s holding some grudge over it.”Trevor shakes his head. “I visited you a few times. I have no idea. There were parties.”Yeah. Mike eyes up the guards. “He told my boss that I should be tested.”He knows Trevor gets it. But he still shakes his head. “We got really drunk at those parties," Trevor insists. "Sometimes we'd uh...bake when we got back."As code's go, it's bad, but no-one listening. And what Trevor is saying is what Mike thought happened at all of those parties but..Yeah. There’s no way that’s what Hunter is referring to and the douchebag isn't exactly being chatty at the moment.XxxMike is yanked off of Jessica’s case to work with Frank and this is an old lady who killed a Natasha Ruwe when she drove into them and then drove off. She’s the widow of some founding father of a huge company and they’re defending this woman who they cannot put on the stand because she is absolutely adamant it was Natasha’s fault for stepping out. Once she leaves, Mike turns to look over at Ivan who is probably the most trusted of Frank’s partners and who Mike is reporting to for this case. “Uh…not to sound negative but-”Ivan nods, and there is the faintest smile on his face. “Christ her reaction," he sighs. "It would be comedic if someone hadn’t died,” he says and the smile fades. “At least she isn’t lying,” he offers and then shakes his head. “Find something I can use.”Mike nods. And accepts the file.“Have something by the 19th,” Ivan adds. “We have a pre-trial meeting on the 21st.”Mike pauses and looks up. And then looks over at the compute screen which is on a screensaver mode and has the time and date on it. “It’s the sixteenth,” Mike murmurs to himself.“Problem?”“No, just…” Mike shakes his head. “Personal dates.”Ivan actually winces. “Yeah. Well, one day kid, you’ll have an assistant who won’t let you forget dates.”Yeah. Maybe.XxxIt’s a bit weird to suddenly realise that your birthday is the next day and Mike wanders around the office in a little bit of a daze before he finds his way to Donna. Who looks at him.“Did you know it was the sixteenth of March today?” he asks.“I did.”Huh. It’s…he’s not stupid. Work is not going to stop because he has a birthday and for the past few years he and Harvey haven’t really made a thing about it. More often, Mike has gotten high and forgotten what he did to celebrate the day completely. And he can’t do that now because Louis breathing down his neck and Hunter is convinced he’s actually some sort of lying addict and-“Did you want something else?” Donna prompts, looking a little baffled by him still being there.“Is…” Mike looks through the glass and Harvey is there, just doing some work. “Can I-”“No.”He leans down. “If I don’t ask him for something now, I’m not sure I won’t chicken out later.”She sighs. “Go.”He doesn’t check if she means ‘go away’ or ‘go in’ and instead just scampers for the office door. His father doesn’t seem to look up from his work, but he must at some point because he just sighs into the paperwork. “You don’t come in here,” he reminds Mike flatly.“I need a favour.”Harvey glares up, his eyes the only thing moving. “I…have never celebrated my birthday as a…person older then eighteen by not getting high.” He clenches his fists. “You don’t have to be there but can I stay at yours tomorrow because, if nothing else, you’d throw me off that fancy decking if I tried smoking there.”Harvey slowly sits up and Mike can’t get a handle on what expression is on his face. But he nods.“Thanks,” Mike says and Harvey shifts as if he’s going to say something and then all of his attention suddenly changes, like someone swinging the scope of a sniper rifle to a new target. “Wrong office,” he says and Mike blinks and then turns to see a man walking in.“Harvey,” the man says completely ignoring Mike and walking past him, “I have to admit, great job making Kenny Verdasco the face of your class action suit.”Harvey’s attention hasn’t left the man. “I don’t know who Kenny Verdasco is,” he says even as Mike opens his mouth to offer up an explanation because that is definitely the lead plaintiff in Jessica’s case and there’s the slightest flicker down of Harvey’s right index finger and Mike closes his mouth just as quickly as he opened it. “And I don’t know who you are either.”“Names Travis Tanner.”Harvey’s way to surprised when he says, “You’re Travis Tanner,” and this is so like that moment when Mike once told him about something on Youtube and Harvey blinked as if impressed by the reference.This Travis Tanner looks as smug as Mike had felt. “You’ve heard of me?”And here it comes. Harvey turns, absolutely disinterested. “No.” He looks at Mike. “We’re done,” he says in that same harsh tone and Mike is so proud of himself for not rolling his eyes.The men continue to talk as he leaves and Donna is just walking up the hallway looking pissed. “Where is that lying piece of shit?” she asks, craning her neck. “Damn it,” she adds as she spots Tanner in with Harvey.“Harvey’s in full asshole mode, I wouldn’t worry,” Mike says as he walks by her.She lays a gentle hand on his arm and he blinks down at it.“You asked Harvey for help.”Mike glances at the desk and the intercom system. “You need to stop doing that,” he sighs.“What? Being a good assistant?” she smiles. “Harvey will be annoyed that you were interrupted. I promise.”Yeah. Maybe.XxxIvan’s client is called Mary Rose Hatton and she has pissed off a lot of people. People at the local shops say she’s rude. Her staff look uncomfortable, but are easily nudged into complaining about her if given the right questions which isn’t good because the prosecution will definitely get a shitty character reference out of any of them.Natasha, the victim, was thirty four and a single mother who could be abrasive but had also taken on the responsibility of the son of one of her past partners as well as her two kids. And stepping out into the road perhaps a little too quickly is dumb but not something she should be killed for.This needs facts. Because if Natasha was jaywalking then she took her life into her own hands (or so it could be argued).He needs to go to the crime scene. Watch how people act there. When he looks up, Harvey is watching him.“You get rid of Tanner?” Mike asks, pushing the work away. He’s up in Frank’s domain and there are some spare offices that are usually where files are dumped and he’s working in something that is half boxes and stacks rather the minimalist look upstairs.Harvey comes forward, eyes on the boxes and then he seems to be taking in the whole room. “I don’t think this has changed since I last worked in here,” he says after a while, apparently deciding to ignore the question.“Doubt the boxes have either,” Mike mutters and it makes Harvey smile. “Rumour is, Tanner called you out. You need me to find somewhere else to crash tomorrow?”Harvey shoots him a bitch-please look and Mike grins. “You need to stop coming to my office,” Harvey says slowly, the look becoming a little softer.“You’re here.”“Because every associate has been summoned downstairs-” Harvey breaks off when Mike scrambles out of his chair. “Relax. It’s about leaking details to another firm.”“I’m not a suspect?”Harvey looks amused at the idea. “It’s me you want to stick it to, not Jessica.”Mike stares down at him, completely lost as to what he should say. “I…” Slowly, he sinks into his seat. “If ‘sticking it to you’ means proving I’m not some dumb kid anymore then yes?”The shrug he gets is as if the two mean the same thing. “Mike,” Harvey says, “I mean it though. You coming to my office-”“Jesus, fine. I won’t come over-”Harvey hisses in annoyance. “These things,” he says, pulling his phone out, “are brilliant.”“You want me to type on a message, ‘Hi dad, can I come over so I’m not tempted to get high’?” Mike asks with disbelief. “You want me to put that in writing?”“How about ‘Hi Dad, I’m coming over for my birthday’.”That seems very…ballsy. “Fine,” Mike says, not wanting to delve much deeper. He can feel Harvey studying him, but looks back down at his work and then sighs when Harvey reaches for the case folder.“You know,” Harvey says as he reads through, “you say the word ‘fine’ when you actually mean ‘no’.”“I say the word fine, when I know that you don’t give a shit about what I think,” Mike snaps as he stands. “And I’ll go to Jenny’s tomorrow,” he throws as he walks past. “Why break tradition now?”“Thought you realised how dumb it was to party too hard?” Harvey says, standing and following him out of the office and through the hall.“I meant the tradition of your glorious birthday texts. Wouldn’t want to deprive you of crafting them,” Mike snaps as walks past the elevator, but presses the button as he goes by. “And unless you want to continue this argument in front of people, I suggest you get in the goddamn elevator.” He doesn’t break stride as he walks into Frank’s office.Thankfully, the man is alone. He looks up from his laptop with genuine curiosity. “Are you all right?”Mike stares at him as his temper starts to fade. “I…just knew Harvey wouldn’t follow me in,” he admits, feeling suddenly incredibly childish. “I can proof read to make up for it?”Frank just looks like he wants to laugh as he points to a…another box.Right. “I will…get right on that then.”XxxThe associates, when he heads back up to his desk, are frantic. Jessica has invited people to come forward and Louis has given an incentive for them to fold on each other. And a speech which Mike is suddenly annoyed he missed because it sounds like it was gloriously painful!Except that Jimmy is loudly announcing that Harold hates Louis and isn’t sure he should be a lawyer.“I told you that in confidence after six cosmopolitans,” Harold hisses looking flustered…well…more flustered than usual.“Harold, don’t drink cosmopolitans unless you’re with girls which you never are,” Mike says, coming between the two and it works enough that Harold gapes at him and Jimmy backs down a little, but Mike is so aware of Hunter coming in, watching the whole thing with a narrowed, disapproving glare. “And Jimmy,” he adds and Jimmy looks suddenly surprised to be addressed, “are you kidding me? Going after Harold?”“What?” Jimmy says, suddenly defensive, “How do we know he didn’t do it? You know what? Maybe you’re the guy!” Jimmy says suddenly stepping forward. “You’re barely ever down here, now.”“You know where I am,” Mike says, refusing to get worried about this because this is like the easiest argument he’s had today. “I’m working with Frank Yates and I couldn’t give a shit about this-”“That why you weren’t at the meeting this morning?” Jimmy demands and goddamn Harvey with his stupid decision as to what’s easiest for him rather than Mike. “I still got told. I was in a meeting with a senior partner,” Mike snaps. “And maybe if you had a bit more goddamned loyalty, you wouldn’t be trying to win ten thousand dollars by selling us all out.”Jimmy opens his mouth and then no words come out.“And if this is some test, to check how quickly we turn on each other, then you are failing,” Mike hisses and then steps around him.“Spoken like someone with something to hide,” Jimmy calls after him and Mike turns, not entirely sure what he’s about to say, but he can feel his temper actually starting to snap and-“This is a law office,” Hunter says, suddenly in between them both. “Act like it. Find evidence or shut the hell up.”And for once, he’s not facing Mike as he says it. He’s facing Jimmy. Jimmy who stares at Mike with a death glare and Mike holds it. And then takes a breath as Hunter moves past them, assumingly heading for his desk.“If it’s you-” Jimmy starts to threaten.“Oh go re-in-act Lord of the Flies elsewhere,” Mike suggests and turns to head for his desk, dimly hearing Hunter shout at people about the Galusska briefs.Xxx“You’re leaving early,” Jessica says leaning over his desk. “Remember your appointment with your father.”And with that, she just walks away.“Aw, Mike’s daddy booked an appoint-” Jimmy trails off when Jessica turns. “I will remember that the next time you ask to leave early to meet your girlfriend to help with her homework,” Jessica says, “because Mr Kirkwood, no-one has that many dentist appointments.”Okay, so as annoying as this thing with Harvey is, it is almost worth it to see Jimmy’s horrified expression as to the extent of Jessica’s knowledge.He leaves early, just as Louis calls in Hunter, but if anyone thinks he is going to see Harvey then are really mistaken and-Harvey is sat in his living room when he gets home and Mike has a momentary urge to throw his keys at the man’s head.“I’m not in the mood,” Mike says as he stride through the living area and heads to the kitchen.“That’s good,” Harvey says, still sat on the sofa in what might be the most casual pose ever seen. “We might get through a discussion without you throwing in the towel.”Of all the- Mike slams a cupboard shut and storms out. “Why are you here?” he snaps.Harvey studies him. And Mike hates it except-He’s just taken on a case against someone who has sought him out and Harvey will be so pissed if he doesn’t win this. He came down to talk to Mike and even seems to have gone to Jessica twice in order to speak to Mike. How often has he actually done that? And the first conversation with Jessica was after Mike had simply asked to stay over-No. It was after Tanner. Who called Harvey out. Who had researched Harvey before coming to the firm-“You are allowed to contact me and ask to come over,” Harvey grits out. “Whatever story you have concocted about this, you are allowed to-”Yeah, whatever. “Did Tanner use the shoulder or me to call you out?”Harvey hesitates. “The shoulder,” he says after a moment. “Though for that reason, I’d rather not have you paraded around in my office for opposing counsel to see.”Mike sinks into the sofa next to him and stares at the wall opposite. There’s along crack in the plaster that he should probably have seen to. “Then you gotta stop doing it to me,” he says eventually. “I got accused of leaking the documents today because I wasn’t at the meeting.”“You were accused because you broke up a fight and switched a bully’s attention to you,” Harvey corrects and then shakes his head when Mike looked. “Hunter was…annoyed by the whole thing. And even more annoyed that he’d had to agree with you.”“Must soothe your heart to hear his complaints against me,” Mike mutters.Harvey shakes his head but says nothing. Then: “You have a rat.”“What? Leaking informat-” Mike trails off and swings his gaze around the floor of his apartment. “You are shitting me.”Harvey shakes his head. “Best pack up your stuff, kid and leave a rat trap. Few days should do it.”Yeah, Christ. The thought makes him shudder.XxxHarvey heads out and Mike starts packing some things before he pauses and thinks it through. He turns and looks at the floors as if somehow evidence that there really is a rat will suddenly appear. And then it occurs that Rachel should be knocking at his door or at least calling. Maybe she was looking for him this evening-Sighing, he calls her.“You heard?” she asks, sounding pissed.“No,” Mike says, drawing out the word, “I went home early because…wait heard what?”“I got suspended,” she says she sounds so close to tears that his heart clenches for her. “They’re saying it was my employee code that was used to send the fax for the document leak. As if I’d be dumb enough to use my own code to-”“Rachel…” Mike stands and processes it all. “Then you’ve been framed.”“I don’t care,” Rachel says. “I don’t…they should know me. They should know I would never do this.”“They have to suspend you,” Mike says slowly and he can hear her draw in breath, “I know,” he says and it’s so shit. “Where are you?”“Don’t,” she says and then talks over him when he starts to object, “I just…I can’t talk to you, right now.” And with that, the line goes dead.A noise makes him look up from staring at the dead screen on his cell phone.Rat?God, he hates Harvey sometimes.XxxWhen he gets to Harvey’s, the man isn’t there. He dumps his stuff in his room and stares at the notice board. It’s empty now; he’s cleared out most of his stuff for the apartment and his room at his Dad’s looks way more like a spare room than anything. But there are still tickets on there and a photo of him and Harvey and one of Gordon looking down at a guitar with a thoughtful frown on his face.He strokes the man’s face. Christ, this would all be so much easier if he was around. And, by this July, Gordon will have been out of his life longer than he was in it.The thought robs him of his breath and Mike leans against the wall, shocked at how much that suddenly hurts.He doesn’t know where Harvey is and how long he’ll be out for, but he finds an old recording of Gordon’s and puts it on. He’d listen to it on his headphones but he doesn’t have anything to do that with.It’s not his type of music. But something in it is soothing and it’s almost like having Gordon in the room.He turns it off when he hears Harvey at the door and picks up the book he’d left next to him.“You eaten?” Harvey asks because he’s the king of just moving on with everything. Mike shakes his head and stands, brushing past the record player to turn it off properly. “Your choice,” he says as he heads to his room as if to put the book away. And he’s in his room when the record starts playing again.Harvey looks over at him when Mike re-enters the room. And he doesn’t say anything and they just stand, listening to the music.“I can’t believe how long it’s been,” Mike says.Harvey watches the record player and then nods. “He used to call from the road,” Harvey says suddenly. “Every Thursday and Sunday. We’d have to be at home at a certain time and wait.”Mike’s not really sure what to do with that information.“I think the most time that we ever spent together was when you came back,” Harvey adds. “Living with your parent as an adult is…different.”“I…moved out.”Harvey seems to shake himself and nods, looking over. “We work together though. That was always going to take some working out.” He heads to the counter and pulls out some takeout menus. “We get one a month.”“One a month?” Mike follows him as the music continues to play. “To do what?”“Go to each other’s offices for a personal reason.”“I don’t have an office,” Mike reminds him. “You will,” Harvey says, “Frank’s impressed. And that room is spare so…it works just as well.”“Okay,” Mike agrees.“And you stop saying ‘fine’.”Mike closes his eyes feeling almost exhausted. “No,” he says and watches as Harvey’s head shoots up. “See, can’t win either way.”Harvey is clearly not happy but holds up a menu and Mike nods at it. Harvey dials the number into his phone and glares at him as he orders. “Is this another one of those instances where I was meant to chase after you?” he asks bluntly.God. Cracking his jaw, Mike debates leaving but the asshat has actually ordered from one of Mike’s favourite restaurants and that so sucks. “I was pointing out,” he says, tense, “that we don’t really celebrate birthdays or holidays or anything like that. Therefore, me messaging that I was coming over for my birthday would be…presumptive.”He jumps when Harvey slams the drawer shut. “I cannot keep going round and round with this, kid. Again. When have I ever implied to you that I wouldn’t want to celebrate your birthday?”Mike snorts. “It’s a day,” he dismisses. “I forgot about it being tomorrow. I’m not five.” He turns as the record finishes and head to take it off.When he looks back, Harvey looks thoughtful. Then he sighs, long and heavy. “I really don’t get you sometimes, kid,” he admits.Weirdly, it makes Mike smile.“Why were you listening to him?” Harvey asks.“I miss him,” Mike says honestly. “And…six years, right. He’s been dead for as long as I knew him. Or when July comes…” he shakes his head as he slips the record into the sleeve.Harvey taps on the counter for a moment and then seems to nod to himself. “Something about turning twenty four in our family sucks.”Huh?Harvey takes some plates out of the cupboard. “They took you February before you turned two. I was twenty two the following April. By twenty four…you’d been out of my life longer than you’d been in it.” He doesn’t look up at Mike. “Every March, I’d drink and every April, I’d ignore it because it meant another year.”Oh.Unsure, Mike wanders over hesitantly. “So…not that hard to understand?”Harvey’s mouth curls briefly up into a smile. Then he looks up. “Well kid, can we avoid adding to the tally this year?”Mike rolls his eyes but he does it deliberately rather than with any real meaning behind it. “We can’t go out and do anything,” he reminds Harvey. “I’m your secret love child, remember? Hidden from society. We might just have to stay in and have some really dirty pizza from somewhere where they mayo has seven different kinds of sperm in it-”Harvey throws the towel at him. “You can,” he offers. “I’m having decent food.”XxxThe next day, Mike finds himself having an interesting chat with Benjamin about employee codes and makes a bet with him that he can list all the numbers on a sheet of paper.It’s only when Benjamin comes in with his new computer that he figures out it was Jimmy who leaked the lists rather than Rachel or Louis. And that night when he goes to Harvey’s he picks up pizza and beer and Harvey complains the entire evening.“I won my case,” he mutters while eying up the pizza with some trepidation.“It’s my birthday,” Mike points out. “But, I get, at your age, gluten can start to cause problems so-”Harvey actually throws the slice of pizza at him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Twenty four is actually…good. Mike heads out with friends at the weekend and ends up staying over at Jenny’s and…well. Staying at Jenny’s a bit after that and he feels bad about it but she’s sweet and beautiful and Trevor as good as broke up with her. Sort of.But it’s early so he doesn’t really mention it. Rachel is back at work again and Hunter doesn’t know how to deal with her because rumour has it, he was the one who went to Louis and Mike thinks it doesn’t sound quite right because unless it’s Mike, Hunter wouldn’t do that, but it does mean that Rachel isn’t bugging Mike to find out what is the stick that’s crawled up Hunter’s ass.It’s also the first time he celebrates Harvey’s birthday. Just them. They go to a casino in Las Vegas for the weekend and Mike watches Harvey play poker and Mike tries to make it less obvious that he has a history of counting cards. It’s weird and Harvey actually gets a bit drunk and, on their way out, cups Mike’s chin and tells him somewhat sincerely that this was his plan for Mike’s twenty-first.Mike gets the man back to his hotel room and then sits in his own thinking about his twenty first birthday. High, drunk and miserable.This probably would have been way better.Work is weird because Jimmy has gone and he’s the first associate from their year to do so. Mike and Ivan don’t get their client off, but they do reduce the sentence and ensure that the family is compensated. And Harvey’s right, Mike ends up mostly working in the storage office as he gets drafted in more and more to defence work.By May, Mike has worked on three fraud cases, one embezzlement and two accusations of discrimination. And it’s hard because there are four out of those six cases where he is pretty sure that their client is guilty but…But it’s his job. And he is learning a lot. Frank is…well, Mike has well and truly lucked out with the man.So when June comes and Cameron Dennis along with it, trouble is probably due.Except it first starts when Jenny comes in to the office with one of Mike’s suits and asks Rachel to hand it to him. And Harvey phones him around lunch.“I know that we’re still working on communication,” Harvey says when Mike picks up the phone. “But maybe let me know when you’re dating a colleague?”Mike scrunches up his nose. “Uh…I am?”“Rachel Zane?” Harvey demands. “Which, great by the way, but if I end up with Robert Zane as an in-law then-”“I’m not dating Rachel,” Mike butts in. “I mean…I would totally if I wasn’t already with, but no. She firmly friend-zoned me. In fact, she firmly little brothered me because I’m four years younger than her and that’s like a whole generation in her eyes which is-”“All right, soap opera,” Harvey cuts in. “Who are you seeing then? Because someone dropped off your suit at the office and you don’t have a PA..”Mike winces and stares at the light strip as if that would help him. “Trevor’s ex?” he admits. “Jenny.”“And is she-”“Not a dealer, was totally unaware of what Trevor was up to and is…sweet. I like her,” he admits. “I uh…we’ve been dating for a few months. I took her to the Harvard Club.”“Wow, you’re practically married,” Harvey says sarcastically. Mike looks longingly at the file on the most boring tax evasion known ever. “Do you want to meet her?” he asks. “I gotta go,” Harvey says his voice changing suddenly.“Coward,” Mike gets in before the lines goes dead.Which means that Harvey shows up at his apartment the next morning.“Really?” Mike asks as he lets him in and he’s showered and dressed but is shovelling cereal into his mouth. “What were you hoping to find her here?”Harvey shakes his head and looks around the room. “Huh,” he says, turning around. “You seriously can tidy up with the right incentive.”“Maybe I just grew up?”Harvey grins at that. “Yeah and have you see the cats and dogs swimming around up there in the sky? You are getting laid and you want your girlfriend to come around as often as possible so you can have sex.”“Yeah,” Mike says, scooping up the last of his breakfast. “I think that’s what I said.”“Come on,” Harvey says, “I’ll give you a lift to the coffee cart.”He’s pretty sure that his Dad isn’t offering to buy him pot. But Mike shrugs and agrees because Harvey has been pretty good about things lately and who the hell knows with him, right?“Hey Ray,” he greets as he gets in.“Mike,” Ray says with a nod and he has this fond look on his face because Mike imagines that he’ll always see Mike as the twenty year old kid who had to be piled in the back of a car after an argument with Harvey because he got tired. “You’re using protection, right?” Harvey checks as they start moving.What? Mike winces and whines into the window. “You realise that you, as someone who had a baby at nineteen cannot lecture me, a person who has gotten to twenty four without having a child?”“For all I know this is the first time you’ve had sex.”Mike snorts at that. “Trust me, it’s not.” He looks at the window and suddenly feels his mood dip at the idea. “Do you really want to meet Jenny?”Harvey seems to debate it. “You’ve been seeing her for months, right? Why not?”“That’s…very domestic,” Mike says and then shrugs when Harvey glares at him. “What? We didn’t…we’ve never done this. You have never purposefully introduced me to anyone that you’ve seen and Scottie does not count,” he argues when Harvey opens his mouth.“Me introducing you to people I was seeing when you were a kid is not the same,” Harvey mutters and then waves away Mike’s protests. “You didn’t see anyone when I was a kid. You were having…what was it? Casual and consensual sex.” Mike turns to look at Harvey. “How many of those people did you introduce to Gordon?”“I introduced four women to Gordon,” Harvey argued.“Two.”“Why-”“Scottie and Laura,” Mike says, ticking them off, “do not count. I know what you had with Scottie and introducing Laura as ‘the mother of my child’ is not the same as ‘this is the girl I was dating’ given that I was conceived in a dorm bedroom with someone that you don’t like.”Harvey seems to debate that. “I liked her up until the seventh month of pregnancy,” he offers.Mike gives him a thumbs up as they pull up and Harvey gestures to him to get out of the car.Outside, Mike squints at Harvey in the sun. “And,” he adds, coming around, “I have no objections to you meeting Jenny. I just don’t want you to judge her for Trevor.”“I don’t judge you for Trevor,” Harvey offers, “and you knew what he was doing.” He places his order, “because you were not stupid.”“Ah-hah,” Mike points, “See. I knew that there was something.”“Prove me wrong then,” Harvey says and turns with his coffee to add something and then his face turns and Mike rolls his eyes and steps to the side to order his coffee as if they’ve just bumped into each other in line.“Harvey!” someone calls.“Cameron,” Harvey replies and he moves but Mike is weirdly aware of that fact that Harvey has physically placed himself in-between the man crossing the street to greet them and Mike.“How the hell are you?” Cameron asks and Mike can almost feel the man looking at him. “Harvey,” the man says, his tone changing, “Jesus, is that Charlie?”“No,” Harvey says and doesn’t elaborate as he steps forward.“Oh, no, sorry, Mike. Mike Ross, that’s what you’re called now, right?” “Just getting coffee, dude,” Mike says turning with his cup and almost toasting it at the man. “Enjoy your morning.”But suddenly Harvey inclines his head. “Yeah,” he says and Mike slows. “This is my son.”Oh. Okay. And Mike really isn’t sure how to deal with this.“Heard you’re at Pearson Hardman,” Cameron says, gaze sweeping over Mike and Mike nods, wishing that this was like star wars and that he and Harvey could do some telepathic communication. “You ever wanna do some real work, you come let me know.” He looks over at Harvey. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on. We should have dinner. I insist,” he adds when Harvey opens his mouth.“Dinner is it is,” Harvey agrees.“At eight. You know where,” Cameron adds, moving as if he needs to be elsewhere. He looks between them. “Glad I ran into you,” he adds and then he’s gone into the crowds.Mike looks at Harvey. “Gonna guess you’re not as pleased to see him,” he asks, sipping at his coffee.Harvey says nothing. “You should go to work,” he decided eventually. “We’ll talk later.” Xxx“Have you heard?” Harold asks as Mike works on the contracts he’s been given. Apparently June is slow for defending people or people just do straight forward crimes maybe.“Heard what?”“Louis and Harvey are going at it.”Oh, that’s an image that he so doesn’t need. “Going at it?” he dares to ask.“Look,” Harold says, his chair sliding towards him, “they’ve each been given a sister. And they hate each other those girls. What do you think?”“About?”Harold looks over at Seth who’s grinning and then shows Mike the notebook. It’s a betting pool.Mike glances at it and then shakes his head. “Nope. No way.”“Come on, Ross,” Seth whines, walking over and leaning on the desk divider. “Pick one.” He sidles even closer as if sharing something amazing. “Harvey bet Hunter.”Mike winces. “What did Louis bet?” he asks as Harold moves away and goes to another desk.“Rumour is, Harvey refused to bet anything against it.” Seth smirks. “So when Hunter falls flat on his face, guess who’s gonna swoop in?”“Yeah,” Mike sniggers, “Good luck with that one.”“You gonna go for it?”“I’m good with Yates,” Mike replies with a shrug. “Also, if either Louis or Harvey finds out that you’ve bet against them, you’re screwed.”Seth winks and then nods over at Harold. “But I’m not doing it,” he says with a happy song in his voice. “God, he’s so pathetic,” he murmurs and then shakes himself and heads off to target someone else.Xxx“Hey,” Mike says after two days of not hearing from Harvey. “So did you actually want to meet Jenny or were you shooting the shit?”“Not this week,” Harvey says and he’s really, really short. “I’ll schedule next week with you.”And then the call ends. Like, that’s it. Mike asked a question and Harvey gave a vague answer.There is no way that Harvey is reacting to dividing assets between two feuding sisters.Xxx“No,” Donna says when she spots Mike waiting for her outside the building.“I’m no-where near his office and I have one of these,” Mike argues, holding out a coffee to her that may or may not be exactly like the one she was having when they had their bonding talk outside of his school once.She takes it, but watches him warily. “At least you bring me things,” she decides.“Hunter doesn’t?”“He’s learning.” She smiles, “but I trained you up years ago and now, I don’t get the full effects of that.” She looks sadly at her coffee.“Not my fault,” Mike argues. “What’s Cameron Dennis done?”She looks surprised and then gives him a side glare which he thinks probably means that she’s more annoyed with how stubborn Harvey is being. “Ask your father,” is her rather neutral response.“I would. But we both know how that conversation will go.”“Which is his choice.”“Donna-”She sighs and turns to him, sticking him with such a frank look that it does actually cut him off from the argument he was about to make. “Harvey doesn’t want you anywhere near this.”Mike nods slowly. “Cool. Thanks.”“Wait, what-”He holds up his phone. “I am going to call Harvey and tell him that I am on my way to Cameron Dennis’ office.”He gets as far as his contact list before she puts a hand on his. “He doesn’t want you near this because there’s a chance that he screwed up,” she says softly. “And of all the people in the world, he’d hate for you to know that.”Mike stares at her. “You think that will stop me from calling?”“No,” she says, dropping her hand. “Just keep in mind how much your father hates to reveal any weakness. Especially to you.”It occurs as Mike calls and watches Donna walk away, that this is probably exactly where he inherited his terror of telling Harvey anything detrimental.“I told you-”“I’m currently stood outside the DAs office.”There’s a pause. “Describe it,” Harvey challenges.Ah shit. “Fine. I am current stood on the street about to hail a cab to get to the DAs office, but that really doesn’t sound as cool.” When Harvey doesn’t respond, Mike sighs. “Dad. I can do grunt work. Whatever you need.”“I need you to stay out of it.”“Or,” Mike says, shaking his head because wow this is annoying dealing with someone who is that stubborn when it comes to asking for help. “I am hailing that cab.”“He won’t tell you shit,” Harvey decides after a moment. “And he won’t use you.” There’s a confidence returning to his voice and Mike feels a strange wobble as soon as he realises that fact because it means it wasn’t there a few seconds ago.Harvey worked for the man and something went wrong, right? “Fine. I’ll go see if I can get a job there and we’ll do it that way.”“There is no way-”“I got a two year scholarship once because you told me I was a spoiled brat. I rearranged my life on something you said in the heat of an argument. You really wanna test what a contentious little shit I can be?”As soon as the words are out of Mike’ mouth, he wants to swallow them back because that is…like way beyond where he usually sticks his neck out. Except…except if it means winning an argument with Harvey, he’s half sure he’ll follow through with the threat.Sixty eight percent sure.“Hunter’s coming in and out of the office,” Harvey says tightly, sounding apoplectic“Figure it out,” Mike suggests and hangs up and then sits down heavily on a bench and puts his head between his knees.When he looks up, Donna is standing there offering him a bottle of water and he takes it, draining half the bottle.“I’m not following you back to the office to offer another one,” she comments.Mike shakes his head. “I’m hoping this will pass.”She smiles down sadly at him. “Mike,” she says softly and places a hand on his shoulder, “I can almost guarantee that this is going to be the easiest conversation you’ll have with him this evening.”XxxHarvey’s office is filled with boxes when he gets there. And, standing up and pulling out the contents, is Harvey. Suit jacket off, waistcoat gone and sleeves actually rolled up.Silently, Mike stands opposite him and opens up a box and he knows that Harvey is watching him, doing that annoying scanning thing that he does when he wants to get data on Mike.“Well,” Harvey says and his voice is oddly flat, “you’ve chalked up a reason for us not to speak on the phone anymore.”“Because you can’t argue with me as well.”“Because I can’t read you as well,” Harvey counters. He shakes his head. “There’s an investigation into evidence tampering. I’ve been asked to testify against my old boss or,” and his voice gets even flatter, “face charges myself.”“As in face being disbarred?” Mike asks because the idea of Harvey not being a lawyer is like…like Bruce Wayne without Batman. No worse. It’s like Batman without all the suits and tech and Alfred and everything.All he gets is Harvey grimacing. And Mike closes his eyes and then picks up a box and carries it to the sofas because he needs anything to focus on other than the lurking terror that if Harvey is ever is disbarred it might just be the day that Mike finds him swinging from the ceiling.“That’s it?” Harvey says, watching him. “Not gonna ask?”“Ask what?” Mike says, pulling out the folders within the box and reading the fronts to set up some order. “You wouldn’t tamper with evidence, that’s cheating and you won’t turn on your boss because you have some fucked up ideas about loyalty.”“No,” Harvey says, “I just have loyalty.”The statement might as well be thrown down like a gauntlet. And there are times when battling Harvey works and there are times when it works best to show your belly.So Mike just curls his shoulders and nods and refuses to look up because he doesn’t know what will be worse; Harvey looking at him in agreement or not even looking to check Mike’s response.XxxHunter comes in at some point and Harvey just says that Mike has more experience with criminal cases which is actually weirdly true now. And then they talk about the sisters’ settlement and Hunter glares a hole in Mike’s head half the time.Mike takes a box upstairs with him and Harvey doesn’t say a word about it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The house the Harvey drives up to is huge and very green and probably what every brochure would say is perfect for raising kids in excess and safety. A family and a picket fence and a dog-Harvey has a moment’s thought to head in and find one of Cameron’s kids. Tell him or her what their old man has been up to and see how Cameron likes it.But, a traitorous voice mutters, it’s the fact that Mike is, as he himself put it, a contentious little shit sometimes that’s the reason his boy knows all about this. And given that Harvey usually likes his son the way he is, he can’t exactly argue it.The drive over gave him time to think and to calm down somewhat. Hunter is taking care of business in the firm and Mike’s going through…God, Mike’s going through every one of Harvey’s cases. With that wide-eyed idealism that he had as a kid.
“You wouldn’t tamper with evidence, that’s cheating and you won’t turn on your boss because you have some fucked up ideas about loyalty.”
As if it’s that simple. Harvey should have known. He should have questioned the cases he was winning rather than just taken it for granted that he was sailing through and he hates, hates, that this has all made him question his judgment, his ability.Cameron comes around and meets him and is pretty quick to the heart of it all.“The tides are turning,” he says as the stroll the garden. “Are you turning with them, Harvey? They turn you?”“Hector Avila,” Harvey says quietly, his hands in his pockets and he’s pretty sure he won’t be tempted to hit Cameron, but he’s not completely sure. And it seems a wise choice when Cameron glances up and over at him, as if waiting for more information, as if this isn’t a name that keeps him up at night. “You don’t even know, do you?”“Is this some old case?” Cameron asks.“It’s my old case, and you buried evidence,” Harvey says frankly.“You wearing a wire, Harvey?” Cameron asks and Harvey turns to face him, stopping them from strolling like a couple of douches in an old movie. “No you’re not,” he says, when Harvey looks away because seriously? The man’s going for his integrity right now? Dick.“I can tell,” Cameron adds and there’s a confidence in his voice.“I’m not that easy to read anymore, Cameron,” Harvey says, watching the man’s face. There’s no guilt there at all, only the expression of someone squaring up to a fight.“You are to me,” Cameron replies, as if there’s something amusing. “The other day, by the coffee car? I couldn’t have picked your son out from the crowd, wouldn’t have thought anything other than maybe he was an associate or some kid you were mentoring. But I knew that look on your face, Harvey. And I know that look now. “Hector Avila,” Harvey presses, keeping his voice calm.Nothing. “Was he guilty, whoever he was?” Cameron asks, no, Harvey realises. He’s dismissing. Because to Cameron, he’s part of a group of criminals that Cameron has safely put behind bars and kept from the general public. But Harvey is pretty sure that Cameron remembers him.He’s pretty sure that Cameron remembers all of them, and not out of guilt or concern, but because to Cameron those names should be written up in a monument to the good that Cameron has done.“He was my case,” Harvey replies firmly.“Guilty is guilty,” Cameron says in that same dismissive tone and Harvey can feel the snaps of temper rising within him,“That’s not the way the system works-”“The system is broken and you know it,” Cameron argues and it’s the most passionate he’s been all night and Harvey remembers this. Remembers that feeling that he was fighting in the right corner, making a difference and making a name while doing it.And he remembers how it felt the moment he realised that Cameron wasn’t exactly the good guy either.“It’s not reasonable doubt,” Cameron sneers, folding his arms, “Juries want to be sure without a shadow of doubt,” he says as if about to launch into some bitch fest.“It was my case,” Harvey argues and he’s oddly conscious of keeping his voice down. The man mentored him, taught him, helped him be the best and-“You worked for me,” Cameron cuts across him and Harvey feels the blow as if it had been physical, “They were all my cases.”He thinks of Hunter, oddly. Of the responsibility and the trust that he gives him. Of Mike and the ache it feels to not follow his son around every day just to check that he’s not gotten himself into some shit he can’t handle. Of how tempting it is to pick up the phone to Frank Yates and ask him what the hell he was doing giving Mike a case with a car accident involved, but he doesn’t.Because he’s giving them the same trust that he thought Cameron was giving him. And he’ll tidy up whatever he has to for Mike and to an extent for Hunter. It’s on him, but it’s also on him to let the pair of them actually have some responsibility. To let them win something all by themselves and help deal with it if they don’t.And Cameron?Cameron, it appears, never trusted him with a goddamned thing.“You’re a disappointment,” Harvey says, calmly and he thinks that Cameron will probably never really get why.“No,” Cameron says without missing a beat, “You’re the disappointment. You could have been DA yourself,” he says, unfolding his hands and raising one to help make his point, “You are twice the lawyer than any of the pricks lined up to run against me, but you sold out.” He says and his hand pointing becomes harsher, “You help rich people keep their money. That’s all you do.”Harvey watches him and it’s on the tip of his tongue to point out that he’s never tampered with evidence, but he holds it back. And not because of some shit like Mike pulls about there being no point but because he’s done this; let someone run out of steam. Wait until they give an opening. It’s boxing; you take some blows and you wait for that moment.And these? These are blows that lost their sting years ago. Because if anyone thinks that what he does is easy or that they’d be half as good, then they’re talking shit.“I stack my value to society against yours, and I win by a mile,” Cameron says, and there is pride in his voice as he speaks.He looks pointedly at Harvey and Harvey can feel a hint of a smile breaking out across his own face because really? People who feel morally secure rarely have to stack their chips up against other people in order to convince themselves.And either Cameron is desperate to prove something, or he’s just being wilfully blind and, either way, Harvey’s not entering into this. Because Cameron has done good and he does deserve some respect.But they both know he’s not a saint here.“We both know they don’t want to put you in jail,” Harvey says softly. “That’s not what this is about.” And Cameron’s expression shifts just a little and sometimes you box and sometimes you lull your opponent into relaxing.“Walk away, Cameron,” Harvey says, stepping back and toughening his tone. “Make a deal. Let someone else be DA and all of this, it goes away.”“Otherwise?” Cameron challenges, leaning forward. “You know what happens if you talk. They start reopening cases. Maybe Hector Avila walks away. He murdered once, he’ll murder again.”Yeah, Harvey thinks, trying not to let it show on his face that he’s won his own bet. “You do remember him, don’t you,” Harvey says.“Oh I remember ‘em all,” Cameron declares, “Maxwell Rankin? What was it, uh? Thirty four or thirty five women that he raped? Alberto Plank? Remember him? He burned his children alive?”The idea of it still makes him want to hit the man. And this is the rub isn’t it? This is what he warned Mike about. Because Cameron knows Harvey won’t take that risk. There’s respect and loyalty and then there’s risking all those shitheads walking free. Just as they risked when they went to trial.“You’ll open the floodgates,” Cameron presses when Harvey looks away. “Do you want that on your conscience?”“Then make a deal,” Harvey says, louder than he has been. “It’s on you to keep them in jail,” he says as he turns away and the point had better be goddamn clear because this isn’t on him.It’s on Cameron.“Okay,” Cameron calls. When Harvey turns up he holds up his hands like Harvey’s a kid playing at being sheriff. “Okay,” he adds drawing the word out. “You win, Harvey.”He stares at the man. At the mocking and the absolute lack of guilt or worry and shakes his head. “This isn’t winning,” Harvey says as he walks away.XxxHunter messes up dividing the assets and Louis is obnoxious and Harvey, Harvey cannot bring himself to even speak to his associate. Hunter looks over at him and he’s waiting for Harvey to say something but Harvey just stares at the boxes.“I don’t need you,” Harvey says after a moment. “Go and see if there’s work somewhere else.”Hunter stares at the boxes. And then at Harvey. And then, with a pointed glare, reaches and picks up one of the boxes and just walks out. “Think you’ll find you do,” is all he throws over his shoulder.It makes Harvey smile reluctantly. Louis will put Hunter to work; he’s too desperate for people to see that he won for him to just let Hunter get on with anything that might be Harvey’s work, but the thought behind the action is appreciated.“Hunter,” Harvey says and the man stops at the door. “Bring me anything you find.”Hunter gives him a doubtful look. “I’ll bring you anything that’s useful,” he corrects on his way out.It occurs to Harvey that he might have trained Hunter a little too well.XxxJessica arrives with news that he’s off the hook for testifying and he knows that she’s done something, but the knowledge that he sent an innocent eighteen year old to prison is pressing on his mind more than anything else and he’ll deal with whatever Jessica did later. XxxHarvey forces himself to go home. He half worries that Mike will be there when he does, but his place is silent and a welcoming balm to his mind.He needs to fix this.There’ll be others in the boxes, Harvey knows that. But this one? Mike’s pot habit could have easily got him landed in prison next to his dickhead friend if the luck had been on someone else’s side and the idea of it, the idea of Mike being in prison because of some shit luck is something Harvey refuses to think about because it would have been shit luck and a cold day in hell before he’d have let that happen. But still, the fact remains that there’s a kid that Harvey put in jail because he’d had the bad luck to have Cameron Dennis glance at the case and decide he was guilty.And the fact also remains that Harvey should have realised. It was his case, no matter what Cameron says. He hammered at the shitty defence and he smirked as the kid got hauled away.First thing in the morning, Harvey heads up to the prison to see Clifford Danner. He’s no longer the young man that Harvey saw in the courtroom and he’s hostile towards Harvey the second he walks in the room.Which, Harvey thinks, is the least that he should expect.“What you doing here, prosecutor?” Clifford practically throws the epithet at Harvey.There’s no point bullshiting, no point in making small talk. If he wants Clifford to accept his help, Harvey’s going to have to allow for that lull again, that time to make Clifford see sense and it won’t happen by bludgeoning him with facts. Not yet.Instead, Harvey keeps his voice low and slow and doesn’t offer any excuses. Just keeps to that simple fact and takes a seat opposite the man who is watching him like Harvey’s an unidentified package at an airport.Clifford is much more collected than Harvey remembers. He listens to that, takes his time and then without switching tones, spit it back. “You just found out you only got six months to live? Cause today ain’t the day you get your conscience clear,” he says and shakes his head with a tight lip as if disgusted at the very idea that he might in some way help Harvey.It rattles Harvey a little. He hates it, but it does. Yelling and accusations would be better but there’s something about the man…Harvey would never use the word noble and be sincere, but dignified is there. And unbowed or at least trying to be. And this is an intelligent man, beyond books and education. Emotionally intelligent which, if Harvey’s brutally honest is more befitting the law breakers he meets in his current job rather than his time as a DA.The man in front of him is a bundle of wasted potential and it makes Harvey shake his head. “That’s not why I’m-”Clifford cuts across him and it’s smooth, unhurried and Harvey has a moment to feel a prick of surprise because there are few people that can cut him off so smoothly. “”You know I’ve been in here fourteen years?” he asks,” while Jason Black and Matt Bailey are out there living it up. You think I give a shit what you believe?”The surprise fades quick enough. Harvey knows enough about himself to know how rare it is for him to start a meeting on the backfoot and he needs to catch up. Clifford Danner might be dignified, but he’s proud and he wants Harvey to suffer, Harvey realises. Which is fine, Harvey can work with that. Can point out how absolutely useless that urge is and then they can get down to talking about what actually will be useful.“You wanna hit me?” Harvey asks, keeping his voice carefully neutral.“I wanna kill you,” Clifford says and his voice is very controlled now and Harvey has a momentary curiosity if Clifford himself knows how actually unlikely that would be. “But if I lay a finger on you, they put me in the hole for forty-eight hours, extend my sentence. I got four years left,” he adds, showing his hand and Harvey hides a smile at the gesture because it’s tangible. It’s only one hand and he can see Clifford using that as a physical reminder at just how within his grasp his release is. “I ain’t doing another minute than that.”“Good,” Harvey says and that was easier than expected. The man is calm and he’s said what he wants to say and Harvey can almost see the self-pride that Clifford is wrapping around himself. “’cause I’m not here for your absolution,” Harvey adds, effectively moving he conversation on. “I’m here for your redemption.” And he pushes the letter forward.Clifford only needs to glance at it once. “This is the letter I told you Jill wrote me.” And there’s strangely no accusation in his voice, just fact.“I know,” Harvey says, his voice so low it might as well have been a whisper and this, this is the hard part because this is what he should have looked for. What might have swung it.What Cameron should never have buried.“The one you didn’t believe existed,” Clifford pushes even harder and he actually looks confused now or maybe it’s just Harvey that’s confusing him.“I believe it now,” Harvey says keeping his voice casual. “You were involved with her. This is the proof.”“Involved with her? I loved her and she loved me,” he says, tapping onto the letter wrapped up in the plastic sheath.“Then why did you keep this relationship a secret?” Harvey prods and he has a weird moment of Mike sitting opposite him before he shakes the thought away.“Look at me, man. They gave me a scholarship to that school, but nobody wanted me dating anybody at that school. I had a record. If her father ever found out, I’d have been done.”“They wouldn’t have cared.” And that’s a fact, Harvey thinks. “Like you didn’t care?” Clifford asks and he’s still throwing words like weapons but this is much more of a prod, as if to see Harvey’s reaction.Harvey doesn’t react. That part’s easy. Years of Mike hurling versions of that claim at him have made him impervious to the idea that he’s heartless, even if it is coming from a man who Harvey wrongly put in prison and Clifford is right.Harvey hasn’t lost a night of sleep about it since.There’s nothing to be gained from saying yes or no. But Clifford is already moving on. “Where did this come from?” he asks, looking down at the letter once more, fingertips just touching the plastic.“It was buried, but it got found.” And there. One sentence to sum up Harvey’s past two days.“And this is why you believe I’m innocent?”“Yes.”“And it’s enough to get me out?”“No. But that wasn’t the only think they buried. Jill’s dress had your DNA on it, but there’s another piece of clothing that had blood on it. A camisole and they buried that because that DNA wasn’t hers and it wasn’t yours.”Clifford seems to be following. Harvey can practically see his mind whirring, assimilating it all. “Let me guess. It was Jason Blacks.”“Maybe,” Harvey offers. “Unfortunately, I don’t have access to his DNA.”“So you finally gonna go after him and Matt Bailey?”“I’m not a prosecutor anymore.”Clifford’s face falls into genuine annoyance and confusion as if it’s just occurred to him that Harvey might have just come to pass on information. “What the hell are you here for?”He has him. “I want you to let me represent you.”Clifford’s expression flattens in disbelief. “You think I’m gonna trust you after what you did to me?”Yeah, he has him and Harvey even lets the smile slip out. “I don’t see anyone else lining up to get your ass your of here.”XxxHe’s in the car when it occurs to him.He needs someone who is more familiar with criminal defence. He needs someone who is charismatic and can get Clifford Danner on side because while the man might have agreed to let Harvey represent him, there’s no way he trusts Harvey yet. And he needs someone who can do this quickly.Taking a breath, he calls Jessica.“You’re representing him?” she asks though he’s pretty sure she’s asking to just piss him off with the implication that it might have not been a done deal that Clifford would let Harvey represent him.“Yeah,” Harvey says and he’s not quite willing to go their usual few bouts. “You said five times a year.”There’s a pause. “You don’t get to roll them onto next year,” Jessica warns.Yeah and he deliberately didn’t use their deal because finding the right balance with Mike has always been tricky and working with him directly was way more than Harvey was willing to risk. “I need Mike now.”Jessica hums. “I have a case that Hunter can work on. Lots of interviews and fact checking.”“You’re not meant to punish him-”“Why would that be a punishment?” Jessica asks far too sweetly to be believed. “I’ll make it clear it’s only this week.”Harvey still doubts that Hunter will take the news well.XxxWhen he gets in to his office, Mike is already sitting there, looking as if he expects to be kicked out any second.“You’ve never done coke, right?” Harvey asks as he shuts the door.Mike jolts and stares at him in disbelief. “What?”“Coke. Have you done it?”Mike stares at him and then winces.Okay, that had been a shit attempt to lighten the mood. “You-”“By accident,” Mike says, holding up his hands, “I barely think it counts. I thought I had sugar on my finger.” He eyes Harvey up warily. “Literally. I had a cackle and a pop and then needed water. Two minutes max.”There is so much to sort through there. “You thought it was sugar?” Harvey asks and how, how is the kid this stupid? Mike considers it. “Well, in fairness, it was in the sugar pot. I just put my finger in because some dicks at Harvard put salt in the sugar jar and that totally ruins coffee and-”Harvey holds up a hand and mercifully there’s silence which only makes the fact that Donna’s shoulders are shaking with laughter that much more obvious. “Just…” and then he can’t even cope with explaining to his son that this is not the place to discuss accidently putting your finger in the cookie jar. “Are you up to speed on the case?”Mike nods and looks suddenly apprehensive. “We really doing this?” he asks.“You’re the only associate who has been working on criminal cases and who is actually able to connect with clients.”Mike blinks as if the fact that Harvey might want him for his skill set is a new concept and why the hell the kid thinks Harvey would bring him in on this otherwise is a mystery to Harvey but then Mike’s brain has always worked mysteriously to Harvey.XxxMike disappears promptly and it annoys Harvey which is good because he can use that irritation when they go to the new DA.And then the kid reappears with the inconsistencies within Cameron Dennis’ cases.“For leverage,” Mike explains, “they’re the most high profile and the you know. Worst…” he makes gesture as if trying to slide away a file and Harvey stares at him because the kid got the highest score possible for both verbal and math.Verbal. Like words, he thinks the second time that Mike makes the ‘hide a file’ gesture.Maybe they made a mistake on that test score.“You did this on your own,” Harvey asks as they walk towards the elevators together.“I decided to think like you,” “This is a high profile murder case against the new district attorney himself,” Harvey warns, flicking through the folders. “If you like defence, it might not be a person to piss off by using things like this.”“I know,” Mike says sounding too chirpy which probably means the kid’s on his fifth coffee. “He’ll either agree or he won’t.”Oh he’ll agree. Harvey will make him.Wait.“You think I’m gonna let you come with me,” Harvey says as they reach the lift.Mike just presses the button to call for it. “Oh, I know you are,” and he shoots a grin at Harvey. “And I’m gonna know what the DAs office looks like,” he adds smugly.Yeah, whatever. Little shit.XxxTerrence is the new DA, taking Cameron’s place and he’s not interested in making any deals. Mike sounds nervous to Harvey’s ears when he lists the names and cases that they could also have reopened and Terrence is an unmovable object which is probably why Mike’s first few words wobble a little.If it were Hunter, they’d bounce off each other. And he probably could do it with Mike, but he and his son have a different relationship and Mike would probably look baffled for the first few seconds even if he would catch on quick.So he sends Mike away to talk to Terrence alone.Which is how he finds out that Donna is the one who sold Cameron out. He practically ignores Mike on the way back to the office because it’s Donna. Donna? Donna who went behind his back, who stepped in and that’s not how it works. And Jessica as it turns out and Harvey hates it. Hates that they made that choice and that people think it was him or they’ll think that he needed to ask for help.And he hates that Terrence blindsided him with it.And Mike was there.It’s a shit day all in all. Ands it only gets worse when, the next day, Terrence stands up in front of a judge and says that if they seek a new trial then he’ll be seeking to sentence Clifford Danner to life in prison.XxxIt’s a blow and it’s meant to scare Clifford.And it’s working. Harvey can see it.They sit in one of the interview rooms and Harvey had forgotten just how rundown and depressing these places were. Give him his office, glass walls and a view on the Manhattan skyline any day over the week and he’d challenge anyone to disagree.“Four more years,” Clifford murmurs and he’s rocked. Of course he is, to have freedom dangled in front of him and then see the risk in jumping for it.That’s why most people never get what they deserve. They’re too afraid falling when they jump.“Or you get out now,” Harvey points out.“Or stay in the rest of my life,” Clifford says and yes, those are the options, Harvey wants to say, but it won’t go down well. He shakes his head. “September 19th, 2006.”“What?” Harvey asks.But his son, quiet and watching up until now, sighs and looks down, apparently getting whatever that was, some date in his file or-“His halfway point,” Mike says and he and Clifford stare at each other for a moment before Clifford nods.“Day I realised I could make it,” he says, but he says it to Mike, not Harvey. Then his attention switches and so does his attitude. “You never said this could happen.”“He’s sending a message,” Harvey replies. “It has nothing to do with you.”“It’s got everything to do with me,” Clifford responds and that’s as true as saying poker has everything to do with the chips.“What do you wanna do?” Harvey asks because he wants to push, would push, but this isn’t his life and he can’t have Clifford wincing and exploding in court if he wants to win.“What do you think?” Clifford asks. “If we win, I want in. If we lose, I don’t,” he says bluntly.“We’ll win,” Harvey says.“How do you know?”“Because I know.“Same way you knew I was guilty?” Clifford asks and Harvey bites back the urge to point out that hardly had anything to do with Harvey winning.And then Clifford finds Mike again. “What do you think?”This would usually be the moment when Mike made a crack about Harvey thinking he was God or said he was thinking about a cheeseburger or something.“I think Harvey wins his cases,” Mike says. And he says it like it’s fact. Like he’s reciting the equation for photosynthesis which according to the school reports that finally got sent over, Mike could do since he was four.“What would you do?” Clifford pushes.Harvey watches Mike’s face. And he knows the kid’s going to say something to the effect of going ahead with the new trial but he’s curious to see how Mike controls himself when he says it and-“I’d trust him,” Mike says after pausing for two seconds and what Harvey wouldn’t give to know what was going on in the kid’s brain for those two seconds.But Clifford isn’t fully convinced. And yet even as Harvey refocuses and mentally flicks through a few options to give the man the extra nudge, Mike turns to him.“Harvey, can you give us a minute?”He searches the kid’s face. Doesn’t look at Clifford, just at Mike. And there’s something in there that makes Harvey nod.Afterall, this is why he brought the kid in, he thinks. Because Clifford needs to trust someone and this is a hell of a leap to make with the man who made sure you went down for a crime you didn’t commit. But Mike? He has no idea what the kid says. Only that five minutes later, Clifford nods.XxWhen Harvey gets back to the office, Jessica warns him about the case.“As Louis rightly pointed out, the might not be the only clients that will punish us for taking this case.”Jesus, Harvey thinks as he looks down at Jessica, thinking about when Mike went to school. Of all the things that had been a concern on his list, law firms representing people linked to the same school had not been something that had even crossed his mind.Some people had way too much time on their hands. Still. “Which costs us money,” Harvey said, finishing the idea for her and Jessica simply hummed in agreement.“Louis is in the majority this time,” she warned.“Which hurts your position with the partners,” Harvey finishes frankly. It surprises him though. “Are you telling me to drop this?”She looks actually amused by him as if he’s some eight year old putting on a performance in the kitchen. “I’m telling you to win,” she scolds. “And that’s not why I called you in here.”It is a little bit, he thinks because it’s Jessica and she never wastes her own time.“Have a seat,” she offers, gesturing and so this isn’t business or chastisement but mentoring and he bridles a little at the idea because after all these years-“Donna,” he says when Jessica simply watches him steadily. “Mmhmm,” Jessica agrees. “You need to get over it,” she says and her tone is familiar, Harvey thinks because Cameron Dennis might have taught him a hell of a lot, but Jessica taught him when to soften and relax a little to make someone listen.When too simply offer what seems like friendly advice, but is actually fundamental information.“I’m trying,” Harvey admits, “It’s not that easy.”“Yes it is,” Jessica says simply.Really? It’s Donna who went behind his back and it burns more than he expected. “Tell me,” Harvey says, watching her closely.“Okay,” Jessica says and there’s a pleased smile that blooms across her face as she turns to face him fully. “Think about what your life would be like without her.”AwfulChaoticWithout focus.Without fun.God, he thinks, smiling a little, how dull would the office be without her and how much would he miss having her there to make good moments better and bad situations bearable?He lets the smile through on his face. “And now I know,” he says, because there is no way that he is letting her see how he’s reacted to that idea.“Know what?” Jessica asks, the smile turning triumphant.“How you always forgive me,” he offers keeping his voice as sincere as he can and he has a moment of joy at how surprised she seems by his comment.“Oh, it’s nowhere near as easy to forgive you,” Jessica promises.“Think about it,” Harvey says, pointing at his forehead and standing before he laughs.“Oh I do,” Jessica offers. “Every goddamn day.”From then on, life does get a little easier. Yes, he’s convinced an innocent man that he helped put in prison to risk extra time behind bars for Harvey to prove that he was always innocent and done that in front of his son, but Donna is back on side and he hadn’t realised how much he’d been ignoring it until she is.“How’s Mike doing?” Donna asks after their pre-trial ritual.“You said we only had three minutes, four minutes ago,” Harvey points out, glaring at her.“Baby’s first trial.”Right. “Really?” he asks, and Donna just grins at him as they leave, letting him pass her back the can opener. Which happens to be perfect timing because Mike’s approaching the office as they leave.“Feeling good?” Harvey asks.“Gymnastics video,” Mike says with a happy dazed smile. “I’ve never been better.”There are some things it seems wiser to not ask about. “That’s not appropriate work conversation,” Harvey points out, trying to hide the smile.“Don’t think a can opener is exactly work appropriate, whatever you were doing with it,” Mike says, peering at Donna as she heads to her desk and they fall into step, heading for the elevators.“I was in my office.”“Have you seen Secretary?” Mike checks.“Work,” Harvey reminds him.“And then gymnastics video.”Hm. “Should I see this-”“No,” Mike says, shaking his head quickly. “You’d need a hip replacement.”“Get in the elevator.”XxxMatt Bailey and Jason Black approach them in the lobby outside court and make it clear just how delighted they are with the turn of events and Jason Black makes it too damn clear that he’s going to commit perjury.Which pisses Harvey off until they sit down and Mike takes in a deep breath.The kid’s nervous.“You need me to hold your hand?” Harvey asks.Mike seems to consider that and then grins. “I’m kinda curious as to whether you would-” He stands as Clifford enters and suddenly that professional mask flits over his face.Good.They can do this.XxxIt doesn’t go to plan. Jason Black lies on the stand and the camisole is inadmissible according to the judge.It’s frustrating. Mike sits with Clifford Danner while Harvey argues and he’s blocked at every turn. Fine. But he’s not losing and he’s not losing in front of his son.“If Mohammed won’t come to the mountain, then we need to bring the mountain to Mohammed,” he tells the boy as they leave court.“Really?” Mike questions. “The mountain to Mohammed?” he asks, putting on a deeper voice which Harvey assumes is meant to be an impression of him.“It’s a thing,” Harvey says, glancing over.“Yeah I know,” Mike says easily, “It just has no meaning to me in this situation.”Ha. Interesting. “You said you could think like me,” Harvey says, putting one hand in his pocket and pointing the other one at Mike. “You figure it out and don’t,” he says when Mike opens his mouth, “pretend you know when you don’t. I can read you like a book.”Mike scowls. “Yeah,” he says as he opens the door, “But I can read quicker than you.”“Meaning?”The kid grins. “You figure it out.”Spend his time figuring out what’s going on in the kid’s brain? Like that hasn’t been the work of decades.XxHe takes Mike to a bar and he can see his son’s confused face, right up until the point that he spots Matt Bailey and Jason Black. They bounce off each other relatively well and the men try to seem unrattled but Harvey can’t quite help the smirk.And Jason sees it as they push past on their way out. “Asshole,” he mutters as they go.Harvey heads for their spot at the bar where they’ve left the glasses that they’ve been drinking from. “Looks like the rattlesnakes are starting to commit suicide,” he says quietly.There’s a pause.“Mississippi burning?” Mike asks and Harvey keeps his head turned to avoid the kid seeing the pleased smile. “This whole idea is from Mississippi burning.”“You were paying attention when we watched it,” Harvey said, looking over at him.“Are you kidding? It was an eighteen. I was sixteen. Of course I watched it properly. I just couldn’t be seen to be that bothered,” Mike scoffs and then looks back towards where the two men had gone. He leans forward and Harvey is tempted to accidently lose that jacket that the kid is wearing next time he comes to stay. “Problem is they don’t seem rattled.”“They know we don’t have anything,” Harvey says with a small shrug. “Only now we do,” he adds as he picks up the glasses.Mike stares at them and then shakes his head and stares across the bar and the glasses beyond. “How are you going to get them to allow that in court?” he asks bluntly.“I’ll find a way.”Mike turns to look at him and then shakes his head, staring down at the red wood of the counter. “You’re very different to Frank,” he says quietly.That’s not surprising. “He give you his narrative bullshit?”Mike huffs out a smile. “Why am I surprised that you don’t agree?”Harvey settles himself in. He’s planned a much more brief visit yet…”You do?”Mike seems to weigh up his answer. “I agree that you can never really know the truth about anything,” he says slowly. “You just have to… to decide on a truth.”“Such as?”Mike looks away and Harvey waits, drawing the other glass close.“Laura,” Mike says suddenly and he won’t quite meet Harvey’s face. “Did she really want to get to know me or did she see a chance for her kids?” He shrugs and looks down. “I guess it’s a bit of both but there has to be…” he shakes his head and tries to shake away the mood. “Wow. Murder cases really can bum you out,” he offers with a small, faked smile.Anger twists in Harvey’s stomach and for what has to be the hundredth time he wonders what would have happened had he just sat that bitch down and made some half-hearted attempt to defend the shit-head that had risked his son during pregnancy and his baby-Yeah, that was never going to happen. But he wishes that he’d somehow been able to steer Mike away from Laura. And this isn’t the first time that he’s heard the shitty concept that Laura had just dumped Mike from her mind and not even counted Mike as one of her kids-“You decide on a truth?” Harvey asks. When Mike looks perplexed, Harvey pushes. “About Laura?”Mike sighs and shakes his head. And then closes his eyes. “Think the second option was the stronger feeling,” Mike tells the wooden surface of the bar.He wants to push. To find out exactly what happened between Laura and Mike, but it’s always been a difficult topic and pushing on it before sent his stubborn son out the door. And it’s not important, in a way, Harvey thinks. Whatever happened between Mike and Laura…it took Harvey years to realise that maybe Mike went searching for something he was missing at home or felt was lacking or-Fuck it. Mike missed having a mom, Harvey thinks watching his son. And that hurts, but it’s also not something that he thinks Mike is even aware of and it’s not something that Harvey can ultimately do anything about.“Her loss,” Harvey says quietly and then sighs when Mike shoots him an amused look. “Trust me, kid. As your only living parent, I know what I’ve lost out on during the times…when you haven’t been around. It absolutely is her loss.”Mike blinks at him as if surprised and again Harvey wants to shake him and ask how the hell he can read a book once and be so confident of every word chosen and yet seem to need constant reassurance in their relationship.Instead though, his son leans in, the way he did before he got too big to press himself into Harvey’s chest comfortably. And then the boy nods. “I wonder sometimes,” he whispers. “And…I think…maybe Charlie Specter would have been way better than Mike Ross.”It hurts and Harvey can’t even start to untangle why but it aches rather than stings. A pointless wish, a wondering that will never ever quite leave and maybe this he gets. Decide on a narrative because the alternative can hurt far too much. And he gets what the kid is trying to say. “You wouldn’t be you,” he replies, pulling back to look at his son. “And I wouldn’t risk that for anything now.”For a moment, Mike looks pleased and then Harvey can see the moment some thought crosses his mind and he looks torn. “Dad…” he takes a breath. “I…I wish I’d…I wish it had been you I’d talked to. Not her.”Harvey nods. “Come on,” he says, gathering the glasses. “We need to do something with this.”Mike watches him and then nods and seems oddly deflated but perhaps he was expecting more and this is something that Harvey can barely manage to discuss. A wound that he hates because it wasn’t made by Mike being callous or cruel but rather a little boy looking for Nina Ross so desperately and part of that was Mike’s fear of being abandoned again that he had looked for her once more but-Damn it. He knows Mike’s reasons, better than his son does and that still doesn’t mean that it makes his heart break any less. More, if he’s honest because it wasn’t just that his son picked Laura, Laura, of all people over him, but because his son was so lost and Harvey didn’t realise until it was too late. Didn’t see that he made the worst choice in that situation and he’s meant to be an expert at reading people.And now? Of all the people in his life, Mike is the one person, the one thing that he second guesses himself with.And that, he thinks as Mike leads the way out of the bar, is more of a reason to avoid working with the kid.XxxTerrence refuses to accept where the evidence comes from and it limits the defence that Harvey can create. He gets himself hit in the face by Clifford Danner and it feels…better.It buys him time to come up with a far more proactive plan and, by the time he’s finished, Matt Bailey is practically shitting his pants and confessing everything he can in exchange for a plea bargain. And Harvey finally ends the day standing outside of a prison, waiting for an innocent man to be released, safe in the knowledge that two guilty ones are going in.“So how did you make them think that they were texting each other?” Mike asks as they stand outside in the fading sun, waiting for Clifford to come out.“I bought a prepaid phone, set it to private and I texted each one it was the other. Who else would it be?”“You,” Mike says frankly.“Yeah, but they’re not gonna think that,” Harvey dismisses.“Huh,” Mike says, “You realise the damage you could have done to my entire life as a teenager if you’d tried.”“Yeah but then you’d have complained and it wouldn’t have been worth the whining,” Harvey says with a shrug as he sits on the hood of the car.Mike seems to debate it and then moves to sit next to Harvey.“Don’t even,” Harvey says, looking instead at the gates. “You pay for it, you can sit on it.” In the corner, he can see a woman waiting, wringing her hands and he knows that it’s Clifford Danner’s mother.Mike sees the direction he’s looking in. “She must be relieved.”She must want to kill him, Harvey thinks, refusing to look properly. “Doubt it,” he says. “Knowing your child is wasting their potential in prison. Not exactly something more parents want to consider.”Mike shifts. “What if…what if I’d done it?” he asks and when Harvey blinks, the kid shrugs. “What if I’d committed the crime. It’d be fair punishment though. Like being suspended when I was a kid.”“The expulsion was fair. The suspension I’d have argued,” Harvey replies. But then he feels Mike looking and stares at him. “Did you just seriously ask if I would let you go to prison if you’d committed a crime?” When Mike just stares, Harvey shifts, not really sure how to answer. “I…it’s depend on what you’d done,” he said, more to make sure that the automatic, ‘no’ wouldn’t leave his lips.“What if…I smashed up your car?”“Prison would be an easier sentence,” Harvey promises, standing properly when he spots the familiar figure. His son seems oddly disappointed by the answer.It almost takes a year for Harvey to realise why.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
2012
The first time that Hunter has a meal with Jessica Pearson, he’s been working at the firm for ten months.She’s sat in an expensive restaurant that Hunter still feels uncomfortable in, but that absolutely cannot show on his face as he approaches her. If he’s completely honest, this is the part of the job that he’s less than enthusiastic about – networking and dinners and the like, but he knows it’s a vital part and having dinner with the managing partner is as about as important and useful as it can get, especially when you’re an associate.She watches him as he walks over and there’s quiet conversation everywhere, but the room is organised to ensure that it’s a general murmur rather than anything you can explicitly hear. He’d researched the place on the way over, winced at the price list and snorted at the waiting list.There’s almost a smile on her face as he approaches. “Mr James,” she says, eyes tracing him. “Please.” She gestures to the chair opposite and Hunter nods, taking the proffered seat. “You seem nervous.”Hunter shakes his head. “More…” he debates how to phrase it. “Harvey said that this was a good thing. That you’ve taken the last five senior partners to dinner when they were first years.”Jessica says nothing.“And yet,” Hunter adds, as he studies the place setting and then meets her gaze firmly, “You were less than thrilled when Harvey hired me.“You were towards the bottom of your class, accused of murder, and wildly unapproachable,” Jessica says frankly. “I think those are all valid reasons to have concerns.”Hunter nods and then leans back a little when a server comes by and pours water which is then followed by wine that Jessica must have pre-ordered.“I don’t doubt,” Hunter says, keeping his gaze on her. “Have those concerns been assuaged?”“Somewhat,” she allows. “Harvey speaks highly of you.”So highly that when he was trying to undo a past wrong, he threw Hunter off the case and brought in wonder-boy. “By that, I assume you mean he’s mentioned me without swearing,” he deflects.“You know Harvey,” Jessica says and nods at the server as the wine is poured and then takes a sip. “But you are doing well and it would be remiss of me not to get to know you a little better.”Hunter nods slowly, allowing that. “So tell me,” Jessica says, leaning back a little. “Why the law? What interested you?”“It’s…a personal question,” Hunter replies.“And one I’m sure that Harvey asked you in your interview.”Actually, he hadn’t. Harvey had walked him through half a case and then debated with him for twenty minutes how to proceed. He’d had his ass beaten of course, but he’d held up long enough for Harvey to be impressed.“This is a private conversation, correct?”Jessica watched him and then raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking me not to gossip?”“Yes.”She seems less amused, but nods.“My mother…” Hunter closes his right hand into a fist under the table where it won’t be seen and then steels himself. “My mother came to this country when she was seventeen with her grandmother. Met my father and fell pregnant. She barely spoke English and her grandmother died when I was two. My father was…my father is an alcoholic.” He looks up at her and there’s thankfully no pity in her eyes even if her expression has softened. “We were poor and my mother was terrified of the authorities.”He knows that she’ll draw her own conclusions about her immigration status. But she doesn’t ask and he thinks that she deliberately doesn’t which he is somewhat thankful for.“My father was imprisoned when I was a teenager. And my mother’s English has improved but even native speakers struggle with the paperwork. I tried to help. I was the eldest. And then I started to understand it and it just makes you realise how much you don’t know. Our entire world is based on pieces of paper and legal speak. This job…it’s the modern way of fighting now. And I have no wish to be defenceless or to be poor again.”She nods to herself and he wonders how much of his past she expected. “You had full scholarships,” she says. “Flew through college. Accepted with scholarships to Harvard. And yet you graduated far further down the class rankings than you should have. With so much to gain and having worked so hard, I would have thought you would have protected your schooling and your reputation a little better.”“The charges were dropped,” Hunter says calmly. “There was an emotional impact. It took me a while to find my feet again.”Jessica smiled a little. “You’ve testified in court,” she says slowly. “Your answers. You’ve learned not to give away more information than required. It’s how we coach witnesses.”He stares at her and says nothing. And, surprisingly, she seems to accept that. “You should order,” she says instead. “And I’m going to be spending a lot of your money, so you may as well pick something you’ll enjoy, Hunter.”He smiles, just a little. “At least you get a free meal, I suppose,” he offers and she smiles. “You ever bring the food to a conversation with colleagues?”She looks distracted for a moment. “Once or twice.”Xxx
2006
The first time that Donna has a meal with Jessica is just after Gordon dies while Harvey is off for the funeral.She’s working at her desk when Jessica inclines her head. Just a little and Donna narrows her gaze, fingers pausing on the keyboard.Jessica wants information. Avoiding her will hardly help, but this is a woman who is one week into being a managing partner and it’s a whole new ball game.Best go see.Donna rises from her desk and follows the woman to the new office.“How is he?” Jessica asks without preamble.Pointedly, Donna closes the door and walks on over to equally as pointedly stand before the desk. “I’m not a spy,” she says frankly. “And the fact that you think I would-”“I’m not asking as a boss, Donna,” Jessica scolds and then seems to rethink through their interaction just now. “I apologise if it appeared that way. I am asking as his friend.”Conceding a little, Donna takes a seat. “I don’t know,” she admits. “His father died,” Jessica says, leaning back in her chair and turning a little to the view. “That’s all he’s said, Donna.”Oh. “He head a heart attack,” Donna says, gentling her tone a little. “Mike found him.” Jessica looks a little surprised and Donna snorts, “Please. Of course I know that you know about Mike. I was there when Harvey blew off a merger because it was Mike’s birthday. You barely reacted.”“Oh, I reacted,” Jessica assures her, but there’s no heat, just a gentle warmth in her voice. “I imagine that was difficult,” she adds, switching back to the salient point of the conversation.“The body had been in the apartment for days,” Donna said and it’s hideous to remember. The way Mike’s voice sounded so lost on the phone, the sound of him breathing harshly as he went from panic attack to vomiting to panic attack. The dull sheen of his face as they arrived and Harvey’s shaking hand as he stroked it through Mike’s hair to try and get him to respond. “Mike…” she shook her head. “But as much as you do care for Harvey, that’s not what you want to talk to me about.”“He turned it down.”Donna feels something in her chest flutter for that stupid, emotionally stunted, sweet man. “Oh no,” she says and closes her eyes. “Of course he did.” “I need you to-”“No.”Jessica raises her eyebrows. “I can’t play favourites, Donna. If he turns down the position of partner now, I have to wait until an appropriate time to offer it again.”“I know that. And more importantly, Harvey knows that,” Donna argues.“Then-”“His son needs him,” Donna says. And it’s as simple as that. “Harvey’ll come in and help with the logistics now that Hardman’s gone, but…Jessica, he won’t forgive himself if he loses himself in work and Mike…” Donna sighs. “He’s the one thing that Harvey will never risk. Not again.”Jessica looks deeply thoughtful. “I’m giving him a week,” she says and reaches for a phone. “And you and I are going to make it seem as if Harvey is still working from home.”Huh. Curious, Donna studies the woman, trying to work out what she’s missing. “You think that Mike’s going to push him away. And that Harvey will need the work to focus him again. Why?”This time, there’s a look of surprise on Jessica’s face that Donna is unaware of something and that’s deeply annoying. What has she missed?“Harvey didn’t tell you?” Jessica asked.“Tell me what?”Jessica hums and then seems to make some decision. “Do you know what an attachment disorder is?”Donna shakes her head.“When Harvey took Mike to his school, they ran tests and there was a councillor. And that councillor diagnosed Mike as having an attachment disorder. It’s not that rare, roughly forty percent of the population have a some form of it, but Mike is…more than most. He’s not exactly a text book case, but…” Jessica sighed. “He borders on being disorganised. He seeks to control his interactions with his caregivers and is angry or quiet to pre-emptively set the tone of the conversations all of which point towards the anxious ambivalent attachment. The councillor theorised that when the car crash happened along with foster care, he also learned that no-one would react the way that he wanted them to. His previous strategies for coping were completely destroyed.” She looks less than pleased as she shoot Donna a challenging gaze. “Why am I telling you this?”“Why…” Donna sighs. “Because the boy has just lost someone again and he’s likely to start sinking back into bad habits. Which means Harvey will need to reassure him and he’ll need to be at home,” she points out, hardening her tone.Jessica nods slowly. “If Mike adheres to typical patterns then yes. And he may not. But I am telling you this because Harvey is grieving too and it takes a lot for him to manage Mike. The boy has no clue the games and ploys he has with Harvey and believe me it has sharpened Harvey’s ability to read people, but Harvey is walking into his father’s funeral with his brother, his son and the possibility of being reunited with his mother.”“You think he’s going to struggle.”Jessica tilts her head. “He is,” she says frankly, and there’s no judgement. “Because, as you said, Mike is the one thing that Harvey won’t take a risk on. And it’s the one thing that his son probably needs right now.”Donna closes her eyes. This partnership is all that Harvey has wanted, especially since Louis beat him to the punch. And yet, Mike…But Mike is a bomb about to go off and Jessica’s right. Harvey is far from being in the right place to deal with what’s about to be launched on him and he will need something to cling to if Mike’s about to start hammering at him. “Can we get him ten days?”“We’ll need food if we’re going to attempt that,” Jessica says, but she appears to approve. “Shall we see if you’re as good as you say? You can order on my account.”Donna nods, her mind racing through everything that she knows about Harvey. “And Harvey just told you this?” she asks, doubtful, “About Mike?”Jessica pauses and then nods. “Gordon was…a little dismissive about the findings. Harvey wanted to talk it through with someone.”“Talk it through?” Donna questions because really? Does Jessica actually think that she’s buying that?Jessica says nothing. “Some things should still be his to tell,” she offers quietly. “I explained this because you need to know what Harvey is about to face. And why he’s going to struggle. But all you need to know is that I heard this from Harvey.”There is no way that Harvey just knocked on Jessica’s door and confessed all of that.As she heads back to her desk to pick up what she needs, Donna pauses at Harvey’s office door and then goes in and reaches into the second drawer down and underneath the folders there.It’s a picture of Mike. He’s probably about twelve in the picture, it was taken before Donna met him and he’s got a baseball cap on backwards. He’s in Harvey’s arms and is grinning up at the camera while Harvey is pulling back to look down at the boy, his face slightly hidden as he almost seems to be checking Mike’s expression.It’s the only photograph that Harvey has at work and Donna thinks that he reckons he’s hidden it from her too, but that’s just him thinking no-one else is as clever as he is, she thinks with a sigh. She’s never asked and he’s never volunteered and she always thought that it was there because of the wide smile on Mike’s face and then cheeky look in his eyes as he smirks up at the camera. And it probably is mostly because of that, but suddenly other details are clear. There’s a slight tenseness in Harvey’s shoulders as he checks Mike’s face, and his arms are completely wrapped around the boy.She looks it up.
‘Children who have an anxious attachment often grow up to have preoccupied attachment patterns. They seek approval and reassurance from others, yet this never relieves their self-doubt.’
‘The anxious-ambivalent strategy is a response to unpredictably responsive caregiving, and the displays of anger (ambivalent resistant) or helplessness (ambivalent passive) towards the caregiver on reunion can be regarded as a conditional strategy for maintaining the availability of the caregiver by preemptively taking control of the interaction.’
‘Firstly, avoidant behaviour allows the infant to maintain a conditional proximity with the caregiver: close enough to maintain protection, but distant enough to avoid rebuff.’ Donna sits down in Harvey’s chair.She can see bits and pieces of Mike in the descriptions. She knows enough to work out that it’s likely his main diagnoses came from the upheaval of his young life of having multiple people as his caregivers.She looks at the photograph again.Harvey’s not someone to go chasing after people or indulge in drama. But with Mike he’s…solid. Unmoveable. Secure, she realises. And it probably means that they have skipped talking about a lot, but Harvey has put up a shield around his son, even if he isn’t always there, Donna thinks as she looks again at how he’s holding Mike.The boy is completely surrounded by him. Being monitored.How much did that break Harvey’s heart, Donna wonders. Because attachment disorder might get triggered again, but it usually forms when a child is an infant. And perhaps it was just a little fracture crack that everything later on blew wide open but the idea of a child being angry or fighting to control any interaction to make sure that they weren’t left alone?Sounded a lot like a child with a brilliant memory who knew somewhere, deep down, that they’d lost people that loved them and was seeking to avoid it ever happening again.And it doesn’t sound too far away from his father’s reactions, Donna realises.
'Many of these parents and caregivers, due to the unreliable and inconsistent parenting they received, experience powerful feelings of emotional hunger toward their child.'
He knows, she thinks. Harvey knows that he has something similar. Trying to control interactions, being frustrated when he can’t. Avoiding emotional intimacy yet hungering for it.Their night. Their one night. She looks back along the hall to where she walked with Jessica and wonders exactly how much Jessica was trying to tell her.If Mike fights Harvey now…what exactly will that do to Harvey?xxx
2011
The first time that Mike has a meal with Jessica is the day before his final exam.The coffee shop totally doesn’t count. That was drinks. And now... Well, it’s tacos and she looks deeply amused by the whole thing because it’s not exactly high class dining, but whatever. She told him he could pick and she’d pay. He went for tacos out of habit. They have a deal on Wednesdays. Sue him.Which he is so not saying out loud to her.“Is this you checking up on me?” Mike asks. “cause I did as I was told. Totally got my shit together. Ask Dad.”“Because he’s aware of how low you slipped in the class rankings and just how shit your attendance was?”“Okay,” Mike concedes, “Don’t ask Dad. Ask whoever your Harvard spy is. But I am,” he lifts a hand from the taco and projects it in a diagonal line going up and away from him in an uphill movement. “Promise.”She says nothing, but takes a surprisingly elegant and efficient bite and Mike watches her.“Yes?”“Just wondering if there’s ever a moment where you get flustered or spill mayo everywhere,” Mike replies.“Puppies make messes. I don’t.”Huh. “I feel like you’re implying that I’m a puppy.”She gives him a ‘no-shit’ look which he’ll accept. “You do know,” she says as she takes another bite. “We usually hire about five or six from Harvard every year.”“Mm.”“You thought about the fact that all the people you’re about to work with have been here?” she asks. “And that means between fifteen and eighteen people will have gone to school with you. Do you know what you’re reputation is like?”Mike sits back. “You withdrawing your job offer.”“Interview offer,” she chides. “And no.” She sniffs. “How many of them know you took drugs.”What?“Past tense,” she says. “Or it better be,” she adds with steel in her voice. “I’m not saying you’re the only kid who does it. You’re certainly not. But you are not subtle. And a lot of them think you’re arrogant enough to just assume you’ll get away with it.”“You here to take me down a peg or two?”“I’m here,” Jessica says firmly, “to remind you of the fact that you are about to become a grown-up. In a grown-up world.”“Harvey’s already started this lecture. And we don’t have a time machine. We’d have used it years ago if we did.”He knows that she’s watching him, but he’s hungry and he does actually need to do some studying this afternoon. He has a few mouthfuls as she seems to debate what to say.“What would you change?”Huh? It must show on his face, because she sighs. “If you had a time machine. What would you change?”Forstman? The contract. Talking to Laura?He opens his mouth. “Something that has nothing to do with your father.”Seriously?Mike debates it. Forstman. The contract. Talking to Laura.Even taking Harvey out of those situations, they still are the stupidest things that he’s ever done.“That I ran away from a fight,” Mike says and god it’s true. If he’d gone home with Gordon that day…Well.She nods at it. “He’ll fight your battles if you ask. In fact, your father would fight the whole goddamned world if you asked. Keep it in mind.”“Which bit?” he asks as she stands. “That Harvey would fight for me or that I’d have to ask?”She smiles as she puts the rubbish in the bin. “So we’re clear. I have only ever sat on a park bench and eaten sandwiches like this since becoming a lawyer, a handful of times in my life and you and your father have taken up far too much of the percentage.”Really? “And Mike?”“Mm?”She changes what she’s going to say. It annoyed him, but she does. “I expect top three ranking.”He watches her go and can’t shake the frustration that he’s missed something vital.Again.Xxx
1990
The first time Harvey has a meal with Jessica is the day that his son is removed.He’s thrown up. That doesn’t surprise him. They signed the papers, had it witnessed and then the court appointed officer climbed in the car with Nina and James Ross along with Harvey’s son.Not Harvey’s son. Not anymore. He signed a contract and Charlie Specter vanished from the world like he'd been killed by the sweep of a pen.“Here,” Jessica says, passing him a bag and he sits up from where he’s sat on the bench. Her brown eyes watch him with worry. “You should eat.”He shakes his head and looks away from the street. There’s a woman holding the hand of a little girl and Harvey has an odd urge to push them into traffic.“Well, I’m gonna eat,” Jessica decided as she places the bag next to him and then opens one for herself. There’s a sub and Harvey glances at it before he stares ahead.“You did the right thing.”Yeah. Because his son deserved better than what Harvey could give him, even if Charlie had started screaming his head off as they got in the car. Even if physically handing him over to Nina had been the worst moment of his life. That sudden gut wrenching knowledge the his baby, his son, would never be in his arms again. Wouldn’t remember him. That in twenty years’ time, he could walk past the boy in the streets and not have a clue who he was.“Hardly news. You agreed on my points.”“That’s not what I meant,” Jessica says. “I meant not letting your father or brother come with you for this.”That surprises him enough that Harvey looks over. “How come?” he asks hoarsely.She hums a little. “A few reasons. But the strongest being that if your father had stepped up today and looked after you, you wouldn’t have gone through with it.”Harvey looks away. And then nods slowly. “Not his job to be my kid’s father,” he says and he can feel the tears burning in his eyes again because he wants so much to run after the car. Even if it left seventeen minuets ago, he wants to chase the car and hold his son just one last time.She slips her hand in his and Harvey looks even further away, pressing his lips together because she saw the mess he was in that room and he can’t show it again, won’t.“This is strength,” Jessica says softly. “You love him. And you know that he deserves a better life. And you have done everything in your power to protect that little boy.”That doesn’t help the aching emptiness in his arms. How the world feels like a silent bubble. How even hearing Jessica talk about his father is like being shot because she is using the word ‘father’.“There’s a lot of people in this world who put their love for their child over their child’s wellbeing.” Jessica squeezes his hand. “You managed what most couldn’t. And you’ll survive this.”He knows that. But he also knows he won’t quite be the same. Every foundation, every thing he thought he could rely on crumbled under pressure and he had to get his son out of the building before it all completely collapsed. And something’s gone because of that. His ability to trust or rely on others or not heap all the responsibility on himself, something has gone forever and he’ll survive and make sure that he can hold everything up on his own, but he’s not sure he could ever cope with anything, anyone being reliant on him again. Not another child. Never again.Because he isn’t sure he could ever go through this again.“I have a proposition,” Jessica says as he remains silent. “You argued well in there. It was impressive considering just how shit your knowledge was.”He stares at her and she removes her hand so he reaches for the sandwich that she’s brought him. There are people heading into the court rooms for family court and he can see a nervous looking woman clutching at a young boy who must be around seven or eight. “You calling me stupid?” he asks, biting into what she’s bought.“I’m calling you untrained.” She shifts a little so that she faces him. “What do you want now, Harvey? What do you want out of life?”“Power,” he says without missing a beat. “Independence.” He looks at her and holds her gaze for the first time in days. “I want to finally start winning again. To never be in the position where I’m forced to lose something.”He can’t quite tell what she thinks of that and frankly, he couldn’t give a shit. He’s wiped from today and-“You could do my job.”What? His expression must display his doubt because Jessica nods when he stares at her and then he looks away and thinks about it. Watching Jessica argue for that amendment had been like watching a boxing match. Hit, feint, block. And the win had been all the more impressive because it hadn’t been about knocking the other guy down.It had been about getting what you wanted. What the client wanted. It had been about control.He looks at her. “You offering?”She nods. “I’m not going to patronise you about waiting or mourning. But what I’ve seen since you became my client is a young man who is stronger than most that are double his age. Who cares and won’t back down. Who has a natural gift of controlling a room and is fearless. And who will risk everything if he thinks there is something to gain.”“Most people wouldn’t put that as a positive quality,” Harvey points out as she dumps the paper bag in the bin.She touches his chin as she stands and he looks up at her. “Most people are cowards,” she says frankly. “But some people…some people know that risking it all is better than sitting on your ass waiting for someone else to make it all better. If you want it, Harvey, you can have it. A full ride.”He stares up at her. “I don’t want this ever again,” he says and he doesn’t have to explain, because Jessica nods like that was always gonna be his answer. Then she leans down. “Then turn this into something and go buy some goddamn law books.”Xxx
2012
“You were right.”Harvey looks up from his desk. He’s working late, Jessica thinks and it’s somewhat unusual for him to still be in at this time. “Usually am,” he replies, as if it should be obvious. “Hunter.” Jessica takes a seat and looks across the office that was once hers. It’s so very Harvey, she thinks as she looks at the balls mounted on the window’s edge, the trophies, the records. There’s a roughness to the room that’s been polished up and it suits him well. “He’s not what I assumed you’d pick. I was expecting a place holder that could be dumped when I let Mike work with you. ”Harvey sits back, brown eyes sweeping her. “He’s good,” he says simply and it’s interesting that he doesn’t take the bait. At some point, she realises, Harvey has decided that he doesn’t want to work with his son.Which will work for as long as Frank Yates remains Mike’s mentor, Jessica thinks. God knows what Harvey’s response will be when Frank retires next year. Still. They talk about Mike enough as it is.“He is. It seems as if Hunter is taking full advantage of this opportunity.” Jessica considers it. “And he has vulnerabilities, Harvey.”Harvey doesn’t seem surprised. “We all do.”“Yes, but your vulnerability is walking around in our office learning how to actually be a lawyer. Hunter’s are out there in the world, exposed and out of our control.”There’s a tick in Harvey’s jawline. “It’s public record,” Jessica says. “Hunter Felipe James. Son of Elena Perez and Caleb James, a known alcoholic and twice imprisoned for violent behaviour, suspected of domestic abuse. He’s the eldest of four and one of his siblings has multiple cautions by the police. He was a suspect in the death of Jesse Rodriguez who was-”“I said I know,” Harvey snaps. “I know the pitfalls that he has. I also know that he won’t be shaken or rattled. That he’ll argue out of it and anyone attacking him for those things will have to backdown pretty quick unless they want to look like a bigot.” Then he leans forward. “And I dislike you claiming that my son is a vulnerability.”Jessica raises her eyebrows. “Claiming?” she questions. “I hardly think-” She paused when Harvey’s attention switched to Donna as she walked in the door. “Give us a minute, Donna,” Jessica requested.“No.” Donna looks between them. “Alicia Hardman died last night.”No. Harvey looks at Jessica and she shakes her head.“Donna knows,” Harvey says, standing up and planting both hands on his desk and Jessica retrains the urge to sigh loudly because of course she knows that Donna knows. “Is it public yet?” he asks.“No,” Donna replies and hands over the document that she’s holding. It’s an email sent to her from someone at a hospital and really, Jessica thinks, they have researchers that can’t quite seem to do what this woman does for Harvey on a daily basis.It’s highly irritating and sometimes she wonders if Harvey even realises how much knowledge he has at his disposal through Donna.“He’s coming back,” Harvey says bluntly like it’s a declaration of war.“You don’t know that,” Jessica says, turning away, her mind racing. He could be in mourning, could have changed. Dimly, she knows that Donna slips from the room and that the intercom is probably, as usual, on. Still, the appearance of privacy is valued.“Yes I do,” Harvey argues, “and so do you. Alicia’s dead and our leverage has gone. He won’t care who knows about his affair.” He has a daughter her mind reminds her. He’s been looking after Alicia for years, dealing with life and death decisions. “It’s been five years-”“And,” Harvey scoffs, “what Hardman’s been doing for five years is dreaming of the day he comes back and screws us both out of our jobs.”Maybe. Harvey likes to see confrontation anywhere he can and it’s piss poor timing that Donna came in with the news just as Jessica was prodding at the vulnerabilities that Harvey has because both Hunter and Mike have to be in his mind as he’s talking. Daniel was managing partner when Harvey came to work for them; he knows that Harvey has a son and once you know it, it’s not hard to work out who that boy is.And Hunter…well. He’s still a baby lawyer and he has enough weak spots for Daniel to prod at and twist in order to get to Harvey and through him Jessica.“There’s one way to find out,” Jessica says, drawing calm around her once more. “Then let’s do it, ‘cause I can tell you this, that asshole’s coming back, and he isn’t coming because he wants to be number two.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“You’re working late,” Harvey says as he walks into the office that Mike would almost say has become his, but the last time he off-handedly said that, Frank smirked and he was back in the bullpen for a month so…so yeah. Harvey says the comment as he walks into one of the spare offices that Mike is kinda allowed to work out of.“I know,” Mike said as he reached for the pineapple flower, “Do you have any idea how many rich teenagers get caught selling coke and driving cars into things. Seriously, you need to reconsider how much of a pain in the ass I was as a kid.”Harvey snorts as he comes close. “That Hardman’s pineapple?” he asks.“Yep. I got the scraps. It’s pretty good though,” Mike holds the pineapple out towards Harvey. “You know you want some.”“That’s bribery pineapple.”Mike looks down the stick. “Can it not just be pineapple pineapple?” he asks hopefully. “I’m serious,” Harvey says as he unbuttons his suit jacket and takes a seat. “Hardman is coming for blood.”“Through pineapple?” Mike sighs when Harvey just stares. “Wow, you are in a cheerful mood today.”“I had lunch with Paul Porter.”Mike pauses mid-bite. “Is this your way of telling me that your sick? You’ve had a stroke-” He breaks off when Harvey leans forward to steal the pineapple. “No wait, that seems like normal behaviour so-”“We need him on our team.”“And by that you mean not on Hardman’s?”Harvey shrugs as if that’s one and the same. “This is spectacular,” he admits as he eats.“You have an associate. He didn’t bring it to you?”Harvey grins. “Hunter sneered at the very attempt and put his pineapple in the trash in full view.”Huh. “I feel insulted for the pineapple.”Harvey hands back the stick with some still on it. “Wouldn’t have been my choice, but it does jack the price up for Hardman trying to buy him.”That’s…“He’s an associate, Harvey, not cattle.” Mike finishes the fruit and then lays the stick on the table.“Cattle’s more useful than associates,” Harvey agrees.Mike gestures to himself.“Standing by it,” Harvey says, grinning. Then he rolls his eyes. “You worked on bankruptcy. And for Paul Porter, right?”“I did for about three days and then Jessica came in and threw me out.” Mike stares down at the case file he has. “To this. Thrilling stuff. Did you know that this client’s daughter one spent thirty thousand in one night during a party? I’m not even sure how that’s possible.”Harvey snaps his fingers. “Can we focus on this for a second? If Hardman gets his foot in the door-”Mike shrugs. “I get it. I just don’t get what…no.” Harvey just watches him. “No. I don’t want to work for Paul Porter. He’s…no.”“I…” Harvey gestures to the desk. “You just said you hate this.”“In that fond way that you sometimes say I irritate you,” Mike says, pulling the folders towards him. “And don’t claim that it’s not fond,” he adds when Harvey opens his mouth. “I wasn’t…” Harvey clears his throat. “I need to sweeten a deal,” he says rocking back in the chair a little. “I may have lost my temper.”Huh?“Jessica needs votes from the partners and the departments that they oversee. Most of them think I’m a dick. Paul Porter…we need his vote and I took on a client and I’m gonna win for him.”Yeah, no, they aren’t moving past this. “Most of the departments think you’re a dick?”Harvey glares. “I’ve already been hammered at this by Donna and Jessica. You don’t need to climb on that bandwagon.”“Right.” Mike shakes his head. “I don’t get the problem. You just said you’re gonna get his client a win?”“It’s bankruptcy,” Harvey mutters. “It’s…my version and the clients’ version of winning are not in line with Paul Porter’s.”“So…you pissed him off and now you’re looking to sell your only child to get his vote?”Harvey glared. “One, I’m not selling you. Two, it’s temporary. Three, I’ll owe you one.”That’s tempting. “Mm,” He whines and looks at the door. “Frank Yates is retiring next February.”“So?”“There’s a time limit. And I’m not gonna lie, I learned a lot about bankruptcy and I think I’d rather slit my wrists than learn anymore.” Mike debates it. “What about Hunter?”“Paul hates him,” Harvey says, sitting back. “Raves about you though. So detail orientated.” He says the last in a mocking tone.Mike taps his fingers on the desk. “I’ll spend every other Thursday with him.”Harvey’s eyebrows shoot up. “No. You’ll go to that office and work.”“Dad, I can do it in my sleep. I don’t need to be there all day. He never lets anyone go to court or sit in on meetings. He just wants the folders organised and the accounts surveyed. I can do that in a day.” Mike shrugs. “Tell him that he has to lure me himself.”“Won’t work,” Harvey says debating it for all of three seconds. “He likes easy solutions. He wants you, but he doesn’t want to put in any effort for you.” He stares at the folders on Mike’s desk. “Your choice of sports game. Any time, any seats.”“So, I work for a department that you hate and you get to go to a game with me?” Mike asks. “Nope.”Harvey stares at the ceiling. “I’ll introduce you to Michael Jordan.”Mike pauses. Then sits back. “I’ll do a day a week.”“Done.”Mike nods and then freezes. “Wat, you can’t introduce me with the window story.”Harvey smiles as he stands.“Dad,” Mike hisses. “Dad, that story needs to be retired.”Harvey just nods as he walks out.Xxx“Long day?” Jenny laughs as he half collapses on her as she opens her door.“The worst,” Mike complains and nuzzles into her neck. “I should retire.”“Mike? You’re twenty four.”He pulls back and smiles, kissing her lips. “I feel like I’m a hundred,” he complains and then groans when he sees her stew. “Yes. This is the best.”“Don’t get used to it,” she says, but she’s pleased, he can tell. “I have to practise for my mom. She’s visiting next week and she bought me a cook book at Christmas so…” she shrugs as he takes off his suit jacket and lays it over the back of the couch. “You need to tell her that I do it all the time.”“What you cook from the book all the time?” Mike asks and points to the wine. She nods and he starts to pour them both a glass. “I don’t know. How will I remember all those dishes if I haven’t been fed them?”She elbows him as she takes a glass. “Funny. But you’re still good for her, right? Next Tuesday?”Mike nods. “Yeah. I can do that. And smile. And talk about my job and be good,” he peers into the pot that’s bubbling away. “I think I should check this-”She laughingly pulls him away. “She’s looking forward to it. As is my dad, but he doesn’t say much.” She hovers and brushes a strand of hair behind her ears. “What?” he asks when she stays quiet.“I…um…how’s your dad?”“Well, he just sold me to a senior partner so that our boss would be a little less mad at him, so…pretty normal I think,” Mike says.She nods. “Busy then, huh?”Mike deliberately makes sure that he doesn’t pause. “Always,” he says, hiding it and kisses her lips. “Is there a fancy way to serve this or-”“A spoon. A big spoon.”“A big spoon, huh?” he asks, wrapping her up in his arms. “Yeah, I think I think this stew needs a big spoon. A very big spoon.”It makes her laugh and hit him with the oven gloves and he grins.XxxWhen he goes home, he heads towards Harvey’s.“Mike?” Harvey says as he heads down the hall as Mike lets himself in. “What are you doing here?”“I…” Mike trails off because Harvey is in a tux and why is that not surprising. “Am here to tell you that dressing up like James Bond is getting a little embarrassing-”“I’m going out,” Harvey counters and then sighs when Mike walks past him. “If you’re here to renegotiate-”“Do you really want to meet Jenny?”He looks back and Harvey isn’t facing him but he knows Harvey’s frustrated poses like the back of his hand. “That’s what I said,” Harvey says, turning slowly. “And you’re not going to interrogate her?”Harvey seems to consider that. “Should I?”Mike honestly doesn’t know the answer to that. “And no fancy restaurants.”Harvey tilts his head like he’s scented blood. “We could have a meal here,” he offers. “And you have to pretend to care about animals,” Mike says and then shakes his head, “She works at a veterinary clinic as a nurse there and-”“Great.” Harvey has a look on his face the way he did when he was going into court. And Mike has no idea why that expression is on his face, but he’s not gonna ask. “Shall I get Donna to find a date in your calendar?” Mike offers and there’s no way that Harvey will be free for at least a few weeks and-“Free tomorrow.”Shit.Mike presses his lips together. “Fine,” he snaps and heads towards the door. “Enjoy the sex.”“Already have,” Harvey says and it’s too soft to be heard by the woman that Mike is pretty sure is lurking in Harvey’s bedroom, but loud enough for Mike to hear it.Dick.XxxThe next day, Paul Porter doesn’t even acknowledge Mike. There is a big stack of endless financial reports on his desk in the bullpen and Mike just reaches for a highlighter without enthusiasm.It could be worse. Rachel has to help summarise every case in the firm at the moment and Hunter is actually having to work with Harvey on a bankruptcy case so…there’s that.“What is this?” Louis asks as he appears at Mike’s desk about ten o-clock.“Bankruptcy.”“You know,” Louis says, leaning in closer. “I’ve let you have a lot of leniency with Yates. But I will actually need you to do your goddamned job and stop currying favours like the little attention seeker you seem to be.”Mike pauses and looks up. And then moves his head to the side, through the doors and has a horrible premonition. “Then I need you to get Paul Porter to release me from this because he’s kind of bought me for a day a week.”“No-one buys you unless I’ve sold you,” Louis snaps. “And I need the whole of the firm’s reports summarised.”“But can I start with bankruptcy?”Louis sneers at him and Mike pushes down into his seat because there’s a theory somewhere that if you press against a solid object enough times, you might actually go through it and right now that sounds like heaven.“You know. As he’s a swing vote and all.”Louis suddenly stops like he has meerkat DNA. And then he seems to be adding something up in his head and just walks off.“I will take that as a yes,” Mike mutters as he bends back over the reports.XxxJenny meets him after work and they go for a drink before heading over to Harvey’s lair. Jenny keeps smoothing down her dress and Mike makes the mistake of pointing out that it’s meant to be casual which somehow means he ends up sat in her apartment as she does some spontaneous fashion show for him.“What would you wear to go to dinner at your parents?” Mike asks the ceiling.“That,” Jenny argues as she steps back out in just her underwear. “You’re in a suit.”“I came from work,” Mike says and lifts his head up. “And my dad hates this suit. It didn’t cost the GDP of Fiji.”“Oh god,” Jenny mutters and then vanishes again. “Just…put the dress back on.”“You said it wasn’t causal enough,” she calls. Sighing, Mike gets up off the sofa and walks into her bedroom which is a complete mess now. “What would you wear if we were going to a bar for a drink?”“Something that showed my boobs,” Jenny replies absently. But then she sighs and nods. “Okay. I get the vibe. Go glare at the ceiling for another ten minutes.”Great.Xxx“This is where he lives?” Jenny asks, clutching at Mike’s arm as they cross the road. He has the wine she insisted on buying even if Mike knows Harvey usually prefers beer and has literally zero interest in wine except to be able to buy seven good vintages a year so he can wine and dine clients in a more literal sense.“Unless he moved again without telling me,” Mike mutters as he presses for the elevator and then looks around, trying to remember the first time he came to the building. “Don’t your parents have a huge house back home?”“Not the same as a penthouse condo in New York.”True. “There’s a private elevator,” Mike says as they step in. “Dad had it disconnected when a women showed up naked while I was watching football. It got awkward.”Jenny chokes out a laugh. “Are you serious?”God, he wishes he wasn’t. “It was six months ago. I was scarred.”Jenny looks like she’s trying to absorb that as they get out on the right floor. “Your dad’s young, right?”Mike shrugs. “He’s…forty four.”“That’s young,” Jenny says as he reaches to put the key in the lock. “My Dad’s sixty two.”“I wouldn’t tell him that,” Mike says as he opens the door. “Dad?” he calls.Harvey is at the kitchen counter, actually cutting something up. “You must be Jenny,” he says and steps forward to greet her. “Harvey.”Jenny stares at him and then shakes herself. “Hi…uh… This place is amazing.” She looks around and strokes her hair behind her ear.Jesus Christ. His girlfriend thinks his dad is attractive.XxxIt’s an awkward evening. Harvey is, annoyingly, on his best behaviour and tells a few stupid Mike stories and a few oddly sweet ones that Mike was almost sure his Dad would have forgotten about. Jenny is her usual sweet self, funny and witty but she can’t seem to work out what category to put Harvey in and it leads to something that’s both kind and eager, but also a little on the flirty side and finding common ground for all of them in a conversation that isn’t Mike is…well…tricky.He walks Jenny home and then finds himself circling back to Harvey’s.Harvey just watches him come in.“So that was-”“Yeah,” Harvey says and takes a swig of beer. “She seems nice.”Nice. When Mike says nothing, Harvey sighs. “It gets easier,” Harvey says eventually. Maybe. Mike nods slowly and then winces. “How um…like…how young do you go?”Harvey shoots him a horrified look. “Excuse me?”“Like…could I end up with a step-mom that was my age?”“No,” Harvey says looking disgusted at the idea.“No to marriage or no to-”“No younger than thirty one.” Harvey shifts on the sofa. “I add seven years to your age, kid. They’d have been legal when you were eleven.”“And seven when you were having sex and I was born.”Harvey looks deeply unsettled by that. “Maybe make sure that the next one isn’t…”“Isn’t…?”It’s a mortifying conversation, but that fact that Harvey seems to find it as awkward is maybe the only redeeming quality. Harvey glares at him and Mike just sighs. Wait.“Next one?”Harvey hums and then seems to give up on something. “You two are friends that found each other attractive.”“Seems like a good basis of a relationship to me-”“Can be. But…” Harvey scrubs a hand over his eyes. “I am not in the mood for a fight with you right now,” he says to his palm. “Because the idea of you giving me advice about a romantic relationship is laughable?”Oh. Shit. As soon as the sentence leaves his lips, Mike wishes he could take it back.To his surprise, Harvey just clenches his jaw, takes a sip of his drink, and says nothing. “You done?” he asks after a whole minute passes.Another urge to poke again rises, but Mike looks away, not really sure what to do. “You didn’t want to bring her here, you’ve ducked out of introducing us and you and I both know it’s because part of you knows that she isn’t what you need.”Mike opens his mouth.“It’s an easy relationship and you’ll drift along and she won’t push you and you won’t push her. You two are comfortable. End of.”Mike stands up. “Not everyone shoves at the people they’re meant to love, Dad,” he says, the last coming out more of a sneer than he intends. Harvey stares at him. “Go home,” he orders.“Gladly,” Mike snaps and slams the door behind him.XxxWork the next day is…annoying.For one, it’s hot and while the air conditioning works, some dick has put it on way too high so entering into the associates area is like walking out of pleasantly warm to some arctic breeze and Mike is pretty sure it’s Louis trying to ensure that no-one feels comfortable or sleepy. There are two new associates coming in from the first round of hirings from Harvard and Kyle gets an office up with Real-Estate which he will not stop crowing about.Harold looks like he wants to plant his face through a desk.“Relax,” Mike says as he scans through the folders that somehow have appeared on his desk like Pearson and Hardman have decided that for his eleventh month in the firm he should be reminded about the days when Gregory used to dump everything on him. “It’s just because no-one likes Real-estate,” he says. Kyle rounds on him, mid walk of pride, “Do you know how much money you can make in Real-estate?”Mike just makes a show of yawning.“Like…” Kyle peers over at what he’s working on, “Bankruptcy? Seriously? How is that better?”“I’m being loaned out.”“See, I don’t get loaned out.”“I know,” Mike agrees, “because you are working for Real-estate.”Kyle looks furious. “At least I’m not babysitting spoiled rich kids.”“Who do you think is able to buy in Manhattan?” Mike questions and then sits back when Kyle firmly faces him. Behind him, Howard is looking between the two as if frozen in place. “Please. I buy for companies. Shows how much you know,” Kyle sneers. “Perhaps that’s because you are a spoiled rich boy yourself.”For some reason, Mike finds his gaze sliding to Hunter who is wrapping up something that he and Harvey have been working on. Hunter is almost smiling at the papers, clearly listening.“Everyone is this room went to Harvard,” Mike points out. “Hardly the cheapest school.”Kyle leans down. “How much are your student loans then?”Ah shit.Kyle smirks. “Mike Ross, ever forgets a thing. So the only reason that you can’t answer is because you don’t know. So some rich mommy or daddy paid for it. Spoiled brat. No wonder you’re working with criminal defence. Paying your debt back to Yates for getting you off of something?”Mike stares up at him and he’s trapped. How Kyle of all people has managed to do this, Mike has no idea but he wants to argue it. To point out that he might have had it easy for part of his life, but fuck Kyle if he thinks that Mike’s been indulged ever.But arguing it would be giving away far too much ammunition for a later date.“Bet it’s a rich mommy,” Kyle presses. “You look like a mommy’s boy. Bet she doesn’t let anything upset her little Mickey bear,” he mocks.As an insult, it’s pathetic. But it presses on something hard and Mike’s on his feet before he can think about it and there’s noises in the room like people are suddenly worried as to what he’s about to do.“Go on?” Mike challenges, “Tell me more about how my mom spoils me given that she’s been dead for thirteen years?”Kyle freezes. And Mike just stares at him, perversely enjoying the startled horror that’s dawning.“Go on,” Mike pushes, “It’s fun, isn’t it? Maybe after that we can have a chat about just how long it took for her to die in the car next to my Dad whose neck was broken by my Grandmother.” He gestures. “Make a joke. Mock. Come on. I’ll rate it out of ten.”Kyle swallows. “Mike-”“Leave,” Mike orders.There’s silence around them and Kyle looks away and then nods and walks out without another word and Mike sits down and there’s this absolute self-loathing because he knows his reaction wasn’t anything to do with his mom. It was everything to do with Laura.It takes a while for the tension to start to ebb and Mike reads slower than usual as information doesn’t quite manage to be processed the way it usually is.“Mike?”When he looks up, Harold has a cup of coffee in his hands and wordlessly puts it on his desk. “You okay?” he asks softly.Mike nods. “Thanks,” he says quietly.He finishes that coffee and another before Hunter pauses at his desk.“As lies go, that’s pretty disgusting,” Hunter says quietly.Mike looks up.“Your Dad dropped your things off at campus. And you’ve mentioned him a few times.” Hunter leans down. “And he doesn’t sound like someone with a broken neck.”Mike stares up at him. “How the fuck would you know?” he mutters. “We don’t talk.”Hunter draws in what can only be called a deeply irritated breath. “Yeah, because every time we do, my opinion of you sinks even lower,” he hisses and Mike stares at him and then types into google and turns the computer screen to him.Hunter’s eyes flicker down and then his brow wrinkles in confusion as he stares at the article.It’s small. Tiny in fact, but the clippings of a write up on the accident and Mike has found it dozens of times over the years to just stare at as if that will somehow get him some knowledge of what happened to them all that night.Plus there’s a small picture of his mom and dad…other dad.Mike sneers when Hunter looks back at him. “Anything else you’d like to accuse me of?” Hunter stares at him as if he could figure him out and Mike hates it suddenly. “You said it. We’re not friends. You don’t want to hang out with me. My life is mine. I don’t owe you any explanations or justifications.”Hunter glances at the article again and then at Mike.Then nods once and moves away.XxxThe last bankruptcy case that Mike was given for the week is finished by about half three and Mike takes it up and dumps his work on Paul Porter’s desk. They have a brief chat about what Mike’s found and Mike’s recommendations, but Mike’s made notes in all the folders and Paul Porter makes the whole thing take much longer than it needs to but oh well.He’s irritated. It’s like having an itchy skin that he just wants to scrub off and Mike finds himself splashing his face in the bathroom, trying to steady himself or just feel less off balance.Mommy’s boy.He doesn’t know why it makes him feel so…uncentered. Like he might just fly apart and it’s such a stupid insult and such a stupid reaction.Somehow, he has his phone out and has typed in her number. And then just stares at it.Then deletes the number again and kicks out at the sink wall.He is a fucking grown ass man. He can do this.He dials and waits for the phone to be answered. “Yeah?” Harvey answers.Mike leans his head against the wall. “Wanna see who’s having the shittest day?” he asks.There’s a pause and what Mike assumes is Harvey adjusting the phone. “Daniel Hardman is officially back on Monday and I have to kiss ass everywhere,” Harvey offers. “You?”“Louis turned the air conditioning up so it’s like the artic,” Mike mutters. “Kyle has his own desk.”“In Real-estate,” Harvey says with a sneer that might sound way too much like Mike’s sneer earlier.“And he called me a mommy’s boy which somehow has made me…” Mike presses his head into the wall. “Dad, I almost called Laura.”There’s a long pause. So long in fact that Mike lifts his head up in confusion. “Dad? Are you there?”“Yeah,” Harvey replies. “You didn’t though.”“No,” Mike agrees then scoffs out a laugh. “I feel like an addict calling their sponsor,” he mutters. “And then I used mom’s death to deflect and…” he looks around. “Do you have any work? I finished the Paul Porter stuff for the week.”“I’ll mention to Louis that your desk seems empty,” Harvey offers quietly.Yeah, that will do. “Sorry,” Mike offers suddenly. “About last night.”Harvey just makes a noise acknowledging it, but Mike guesses that he doesn’t want to get into it all right now. “I have to go,” he says and he actually sounds apologetic.“Okay,” Mike says and nods. “Thanks.”XxxLouis dumps a pile on his desk within seven minutes of Mike getting back to his chair. It keeps him occupied until Mike’s the last one left in the office.He’s dimly aware that Harvey comes in to the room and wheels over a chair to sit next to him silently. Not saying anything, he picks up a document and then the folder that it’s linked to. Glancing over at him, Mike scoots over a little, giving the man some space.“Your desk is bigger,” Mike says quietly.“My desk is filled with shit for Hardman’s return. And my office has Hunter in it,” Harvey complains.They say nothing for a while and Mike can’t help but glance over at him every so often. They’ve never really done this before, just sat together and worked in silence. It’s weird, but kinda nice.“Which was yours?” Mike asks after a while.“Hmm?”“Your desk.”His father looks over at him and then smiles and taps at the desk. Mike blinks and then looks around. “You’re shitting me. Seriously?”“I wasn’t exactly popular when I came from the DAs office. And I came at a weird time. This was their idea of hazing.” Harvey shrugs and Mike imagines that the man was probably amused by it. “Can’t imagine why they put the cocky kid who thinks he’s too clever here.”“I rile up way less people than you.”Harvey grins. “You wanna bet?”“Maybe not,” Mike mutters and sighs down at the work. He jolts a little when Harvey rests his hand on Mike’s nape. “Kid?” he says softly.“It’s not right,” Mike says and then twists so that he’s facing Harvey. “Jenny. You’re right. And that sucks. There’s nothing wrong or terrible but it’s-”Harvey nods as he withdraws his hand.“So my only friends are now going to be a guy in prison for dealing and people that I work with,” mike huffs. “Sucks up your life, doesn’t it?”“It can do,” Harvey acknowledges. “And I’m giving you a pass here, kid. We’ll breeze past the Trevor comment-”“I’m twenty four,” Mike reminds him.Harvey smiles. “You should delete her number,” he says and there’s something almost hesitant about his voice.Mike just taps his forehead and Harvey makes an ‘ah’ sound.“You don’t want to talk about it,” Harvey says.Mike shakes his head. “We’re in a good place,” he says, looking up to meet Harvey’s gaze. “And I know…I know it was me that fucked it last time but in my head…she’s like a weird trigger for us both.”“You didn’t…” Harvey sighs. “I get that though. But I’d like to think you and me are getting there. Where we could talk about it and have a fight and do this the following day.”“Think we’ll ever just talk about things without having a fight?”“We’re way too alike for that,” Harvey scolds and sits back. “I prefer it to you shutting down.”Mike nods. “Yeah, but I know that. So…” he gestures helplessly.“You never know,” Harvey says watching him. “You might win if you keep going.”Mike gives him a sideways glare and it makes Harvey smile as he stands up. “I mean in many years time,” Harvey says, and his tone turns into something that you might use for a cute baby or puppy. “When you’re all grown up.”“Kind of sounds like you’re baiting me.”Harvey’s smile just grows. “Louis wanted that done by tomorrow, he offers. “Have good night, Mike.”Mike nods. “You too, Dad.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Hardman comes back to work bright and early on Monday morning and Hunter thinks it might as well be the apocalypse for how Harvey is acting.“Scale of one to ten?” Hunter asks Donna as he heads past her desk.“Have we agreed on what the scale means?” Donna asks and Hunter sighs, rolls his eyes where she definitely cannot see it either because part of him is facing her or because it’s been caught in the reflection.“What do you think the scale should mean?” he asks, circling back to her and resting his hands on the top of the desk walls.“I think it should be a dramatic scale,” Donna offers brightly. “One being as calm as he can get and ten being him flouncing around speaking about war.”That…actually seems fair. Hunter nods.“Donna!” Harvey calls, appearing at the door. “Let him through. We need to discuss war tactics.”That’s…deeply unfortunate for Harvey, Hunter thinks as he looks over his shoulder to hide the growing smirk.“What?” Harvey asks and when Hunter looks back, he’s glancing between Donna and Hunter in confusion. “You two have some secret meeting going on?”“We have ten,” Donna offers chirpily and Hunter snorts and then schools his face to being completely impassive.Harvey just glares at her, clearly sensing some joke at his expense but apparently unwilling to ask. “If your ass isn’t in this office in three seconds, I’ll give you to Louis.”Hunter nods and steps in. “Are you prepared for the meeting?”“Is the Pope Catholic?” Harvey shakes his head. “He’s coming for me, which means he’ll come for you. Don’t give him an opening. You got it?”“And come to you to match any offer his gives me,” Hunter reminds him and there’s a flash of reluctant amusement on Harvey’s face as he nods. “He’ll come after you first.”“Yeah,” Harvey says and there’s a confident smirk on his face that is oddly reminiscent of someone else and it tugs at Hunter’s brain because he can’t quite work out who. “Well, he’s about to be shit out of luck.”Hunter has a feeling that even if Harvey loses, the man will just see it as round one and spend the rest of his life trying to make sure that he wins whatever distant final round is possible. Still. “How does this end?” Hunter asks. “I mean…he’s name partner. And if he does go…sounds weird to have just Pearson on its own.”Harvey smiles. “She’d manage,” he says decisively. “But good for you, rookie, to have that ambition.”XxxIt isn’t that surprising that somehow they end up with a case against the nurse’s strike and have to act as if they’ve been up to date on it all along.“Is Hardman going to try and interfere?” Hunter asks.“Course he is, junior.” Harvey seems to relish the challenge as they walk down the halls. “We just need to show him how absolutely pointless he is and then he can fuck off back to cheating on dying wives and embezzling.”“There are some that would enjoy that life,” Hunter muses. “It doesn’t seem like a terrible punishment.”“What do you want? For me to save the devil’s soul?” Hunter asks as they reach the conference room.“Thought I’d indulge the god complex.”They enter the conference room where the nurse is waiting for them and Hunter watches Harvey and her go back and forth. She’s firm and Hunter thinks she’d be exactly what you’d want if you were in hospital. But she’s overplaying her hand and leaves the table even if Harvey is offering a fair and frank deal.“She wants a win,” Hunter comments as the nurse leaves the room. “Tough,” Harvey says and stands. “I’m getting an injunction.”“An injunction?” Hunter questions following Harvey out. “How does that work? Every labour decision in the past ten years would suggest that’s a bad idea. A TRO-”“Are you sure?” Harvey prods, “Maybe there was a lecture on this exact situation in third year.”Ten months ago, it would have shaken him. Now Hunter knows better. “Are you certain you remember that far back?”There’s the faintest flicker of a smile before Harvey stops and turns to him. “So why would you file a TRO?”“It’s the…” Hunter hesitates and Harvey gives him an encouraging look but it’s a trap and Hunter shakes his head. “Fine. God forbid we ever do anything that’s safe or boring or the option that buys us time.”Harvey nods. “As long as we’re clear. But you can’t see me win because Mussolini has summoned you.”XxxDownstairs, Louis is holding court. “I’ve gathered you all here,” Louis says, “to ask you one simple question. Do any of you have any desire to strip down and exchange underwear with each other.”The older associates, those who had been here six months or more, show absolutely no surprise on their faces because Louis asking this is in no way the strangest thing that the odd man had done. Kyle stood there with his arms folded and Gregory was skulking in the background, eyeing up one of the new associates and Hunter looked away from that. Seth had moved more towards contracts and had put away his phone when Louis started speaking but had the expression on his face that definitely suggested he was thinking about something else.Mike Ross was there, next to Harold and looking somewhat perplexed by the man while Harold had the countenance of someone who needed the toilet. And, oddly, starts to raise his hand before Mike grabs it and shoves it down.But most of the newer associates looked horrified.“Any takers? No?” Louis asked in mock seriousness. “Of course not,” he laughs. “You don’t want to air your dirty laundry in public. But evidently, you did.” He says as he holds up a copy of New York Lawyer and starts pacing up the bullpen. “And while I am personally proud of the fact that you’re all unhappy, Harvard is not. So I’ve invited a representative from the law school to see first-hand how joyful you all are under my tutelage.”“So you want us to lie?” Cara asks.Mistake. It’s interesting to watch though how Louis dresses down someone. Harvey pushes, is physically intimidating and bulldozes through anything in his way. Jessica radiates disapproval and is this unmoveable force. Louis, Hunter thinks, traps people. He’s almost like a fencer.Of them all, Harvey is probably most like Hunter’s own father. But whereas he would actually use fists and be physically brutal, Harvey is retrained. A boxer in attitude only, but with the knowledge that he will use his fists if absolutely needed.“No,” Louis says and he takes a step closer and it’s just about within acceptable distance, but it’s clear that he has zeroed in on her, “I want you to convince this woman that Pearson Hardman makes you shit rainbows.”Hunter draws in breath and suddenly this nurses strike looks like even more of a blessing because Harvey might be brilliant in many ways, but Hunter is still pretty doubtful that he’s going to come back with an injunction. Which hopefully means he can escape the office while this bullshit is going on.Cara leans back and looks down and maybe, if she’d been at the firm a little longer she’d have done what everyone else does and just nod, smile and give Louis no openings in which to catch you. “Is that clear?” Louis presses as Cara looks down.“Yeah,” she murmurs.“You sure?”“Yeah,” Cara says again.Louis nods and as if they’ve just been having a normal conversation and turns back to them all. “Anyone else have any stupid questions?”Once again, out the corner of his eye, Hunter sees Harold move to raise his hand and Mike is quicker this time to tug his hand down, but Louis still sees it and sneers somewhat. “Figures,” the man mutters before sweeping out and Hunter has an odd moment of wonder as to whether the man believes he is wearing some sort of Shakespearian coat when he does that.“Oh god,” Harold mutters as everyone breaks away. “What if she talks to me?”Mike glances at him as he walks towards his desk. “Just…lie. Or…maybe take a lunch break when she comes?” He walks past Hunter and pauses. “Yes?” he asks.Hunter just steps over to his desk and ignores him because Mike is…hard to categorise. Putting aside that night in August over two years ago now and his subsequent behaviour, he was…Just difficult. XxxHunter and Harvey visit the strike venue where Daniel Hardman has interfered and issued a TRO which Harvey is clearly pissed about because he not only tears up the TRO, but invites the nurses to strike before pointing out that their finances are shit and that the deal will just keep declining for every day that they delay signing the agreement.“Couldn’t have started out with that?” Hunter asks.Harvey glares at him and then keeps walking away. “We could have if you hadn’t been whining on about a TRO.”“You could swap associates and find out how much whining gets done then.”Harvey almost looks like he might smile. “We’ll wait ‘em out,” he decides as they pause on the other side of the street and turn back to look at the strike site.“Do we have to literally watch the situation or-”“You have a choice,” Harvey says, turning away and nodding towards the car. “You can stay here and watch with a smirk and eat hot dogs and generally look like this is entertaining you. Or you can head back to the office and deal with Louis and his tantrum about us coming second to last in quality of life.”“Second to last?” Hunter questions, startled. “I didn’t realise we were so low down.” Harvey turns to Hunter as if disappointed and Hunter folds his arms. “I didn’t read it. You had me lie and say I got this yesterday. I haven’t had time.”Harvey studies him with a smirk. “Louis annoyed that we were beaten to bottom.”Jesus. “I will buy a hot dog,” Hunter mutters and stares at the cart with some distaste. XxxHe gets back into the office to pick up some briefs to take home when he sees the message on his desk about going to see Daniel Hardman. For a moment, Hunter debates ignoring it, but that’s petty and childish and looks like he’s a coward.Think I’m about to get an offer. He doesn’t expect Harvey to respond automatically. There are apparently only a few people that Harvey will respond to on the phone who aren’t clients and Hunter has not made that list yet.“You wanted to see me?” Hunter says as he knocks on the door.Daniel Hardman is still an unknown and, beyond his introductory speech to the associate pool, Hunter hasn’t seen a lot of him. He seems calm enough, pleasant and unassuming in a way, but it only makes Hunter more on edge. It’s a veneer and Hunter has met enough two faced liars in his time to know he’s a man to be cautious around.“Please,” Hardman says, gesturing to a chair with a friendly smile. “Sit.”Hunter does as he’s told. “Harvey speaks highly of you, Hunter,” Daniel offers and Hunter nods. “And,” Hardman says with a sigh, “You don’t like me very much do you?”Hunter sits back, making it clear that he’s considering the question and he knows it surprises Hardman. “I don’t know you,” he allows. “I know Harvey. He took a chance on me when no-one else would.”“A chance that seems to have paid off,” Hardman allows. “He told me that you and I had the same idea about the TRO,” he says as he rubs his hands together a little. “Why did you think it was the right call?”“It was the safer option,” Hunter offers, curious to see what Hardman’s reaction would be. There’s no wince or chaffing frustration at the implication that he isn’t as daring as Harvey and perhaps that means Hardman doesn’t care, but the man is probably duplicitous enough to hide his reaction if he wishes. “It also put a clock on negotiations and kept both sides at the table.”“I agree,” Hardman says and it’s still a gentle tone that makes Hunter feel as if, somehow, he’s being managed. “But I won’t go against him now.”That’s a lie, Hunter thinks, keeping his face unreactive. This entire meeting is aimed to go against Harvey. “The problem is, we can’t go back to the nurses to find out what they want. Not without appearing weak. But you…”Hunter nods. “I’ll suggest it to Harvey.”Hardman looks down and nods. And the silence is probably meant to make Hunter feel uncomfortable, but he’s pretty much immune to it. “He won’t like the idea coming from me,” Hardman says eventually and it’s too casual. A small pebble thrown into a pond to see what ripples are made.“Probably not,” Hunter agrees, standing up. “But if he thinks it’s useful, I’m sure he’ll consider it.”Hardman smiles tightly. “I imagine you know him better than I at this point,” he says. But there’s something coming and Hunter can sense it. “Do give him my regards. And tell him I hope his son’s studies are going well.”Son?Hunter can’t help blinking at that idea.There is no way that Harvey has a kid, he thinks as he heads back to his desk. He doesn’t have the time. The man eats, sleeps and shits Pearson Hardman.Mike Ross is still working when he gets down. He’s the only one left there and Hunter glares in his direction but resists the urge to prod. He’s in a terrible mood and while Mike might be a pain in the ass, that doesn’t mean he has to stoop to his level.When he gets everything in his bag, he becomes aware of Mike watching him. “Late one?” Mike offers casually.Hunter nods and then looks around. “It’s not that late,” he says, looking back down. “Where is everyone?”“Louis had Sheila Zass come around and interview us,” Mike says and sits back with a grin.“Sheila’s ass?”“Zass,” Mike corrects, “But yeah, Louis kept pronouncing it like that too. And…picture a more attractive female Louis. But even he was impressed by her.”Leaning against the divider, Hunter tries to picture it and he can’t quite work out if it’s a brilliant or worrying image. “She didn’t interview everyone, surely.”“Harold went first.”Harold. The man needed to be shepherded off to somewhere a little more sheltered and protected and softer than this world. “How bad was it?”Mike shrugs but there’s an almost smile on his face that Hunter remembers, like he has an amusing secret. “Weird though, isn’t it. To think that Louis getting what he wanted relied on Harold.”“If Harold were better at this, he’d have used that.”The smile vanishes and Mike says nothing but shrugs in a way that usually means someone wants to agree, but knows they shouldn’t. “Yeah,” he says though after a while. When he looks down again, Hunter feels the smallest pang of disappointment. XxxWell?Hardman wants me to go to the nurses. I told him I’d run it by you.The cell phone rings and Hunter answers.“You realise you just pretty much planted yourself on my side of the trench?” Harvey asks.This man is so ridiculously dramatic. “Yes.”“Thank you.”It’s possibly the most praise he’s ever received and the first time that Hunter has ever been thanked by the man. “Harvey…he did…he told me to say that he hopes your son’s studies are going well.”There’s a pause and then a snort. And Hunter doesn’t quite know what to imagine because his mind first dances to a little boy in a suit with slicked up hair being all full of bluster and stupid levels of confidence.“Don’t worry about it,” Harvey dismisses.So he does have a child.It must live with his mother, Hunter thinks as the phone call ends. Perhaps one of the beautiful and expensive looking women got caught with a baby and Harvey provides from a distance, offers coaching-Somehow that doesn’t quite fit. Hunter can’t imagine Harvey doing anything at a distance and yet there is no way that he has time for a child.When he gets into bed that night, it isn’t Harvey’s kid he’s thinking of.xxx
August 2010
It’s a party and Hunter usually despises those. Avoids them because there’s drink involved and people are idiots when they drink. Some are high too, but Jesse has dragged him here claiming it’s fun and practise and every other claim under the sun and then had offered a blowjob in exchange and Hunter had sighed and nodded, but was almost certain that Jesse would be far too drunk by the end of the night to hold to that.It was always risky. Jesse gets affectionate when drunk and Hunter was far too aware that their cohort would be their future colleagues and enemies and he was not prepared to announce their relationship in front of people.It wasn’t shame, he thought as he glowered in the corner, watching his boyfriend. Simply learned wisdom. Being in a homosexual relationship just made things harder than it needed to be and he was determined to keep work and home separate.Not that home had reacted well. Someone is in his space before he can react and process and Hunter simply has enough time to blink when Mike Ross suddenly appears and appears to be trying to measure him with his hands. “Dude,” Mike says and there’s something unsteady about him. “Dude, you are tall.” He appears to be counting his hands and muttering to himself and the hands that started next to Hunter’s face are now hovering by his waist and then Mike is leaning down and they have never been this close and Hunter feels this kick of lust as he looks down.All too aware of what this looks like, Hunter reaches for the man’s elbow and leavers him up which causes Mike to stumble.He’s very drunk. Up close, Hunter can smell the alcohol and his pupils aren’t quite focused which means the resident genius of Harvard (and isn’t that saying something!) is probably high too. “You with anyone tonight?”Mike looks like he’s about to start measuring again.“Not a horse,” and it’s one of the few words he hesitates to say in English. For years they lived in a city and Hunter never saw a horse, his father never shouted and corrected the Spanish or an accent that his mother accidently would place in his mouth. But she would tell stories and show him pictures of caballos and on a school trip Jesse had pointed out the animals in a field and Hunter had realised that he didn’t know the English and had begged Jesse most of the way home to tell him so that his father wouldn’t-Mike stumbles and Hunter somehow gets him into a sticky chair that smells like peaches and artificial sugars. “Your friends?” he questions. God, he hopes that Mike has friends here because-Mike gestures towards where two people are stood in the corner and Hunter eyes them up because he’s pretty sure they’ve been going from group to group all night.“What did they give you?”“A lift,” Mike says and then giggles. “Dunno.” He lifts his head and then seems to decide not to say whatever he was going to claim. “Why are we sitting?”“Because you’re drunk and high and almost on your knees in front of me,” Hunter points out, almost curious to see Mike’s reaction.Mike peers at the space they were standing in, as if there might be a re-enactment scene happening. “Oh…” he says as if realising. “But I can. Do that. Pretty good at it. Five star rating, bonus given.”Shit. Hunter looks away because…That’s…Tempting.He looks around for Jesse as if the sight of him might help. And he spots his boyfriend with some girls and it doesn’t help.At all.They’re not in a good place. Jesse is towards the bottom in the class rankings and Hunter is not and Jesse just won’t help himself and it’s like caring for a child at the moment and-No, Hunter tells himself sternly, do not make excuses or justify this. He pours Mike some water and leaves him at the table.But it’s only ten o clock and the night is still young.Xxx
Present Day
It takes six days for the nurses to fold and Harvey smirks at Hardman as they pass him. “What would you have done if I’d gone after the nurses?” Harvey looks back at him. “That would have been Hardman’s fault.”“I’m responsible for my own actions.”“He’s a name partner and presented it as being helpful. It wouldn’t have tanked the deal.” Harvey enters the office and turns to him fully. “You knew what he was doing.”“I’ve dealt with people like him before,” Hunter says, thinking about Jesse’s father.Harvey studies him. “Louis wants you. Which is after a meeting with Hardman.” He watches Hunter expectantly.“So Louis knows something isn’t right and Hardman has mentioned me,” Hunter muses.“It’s not a bad case,” Harvey offers. “You don’t have to, but you put your neck on the line for me. Doing this raises your profile. Shows what you can do outside of me.”It surprises him. Hunter sits down slowly. “Temporarily?”“I ain’t training up anyone else,” Harvey says with a grin as he sits opposite. “You got loyalty, Hunter and I appreciate it. This is me repaying it. Cause I don’t think you’re gonna be swayed by Hardman and you’re definitely not going to be swayed by Louis. So. Show off. Louis is a dick, but he does know some things. Not many,” he adds when Hunter opens his mouth. “You don’t have to. He passed on you.”Ah. “This is because of the bet with the Price sisters?” Hunter asks.“That’s the excuse,” Harvey corrects.The memory of it riles. The loss was the worst and most public one that he had faced at Pearson and Hardman. Made worse by the fact that Harvey had been so certain that Hunter would win.Slowly, he nods. “I want it. I want to know how he thinks.”Harvey nods back. “I gotta make it look like a punishment after I said no.”“What like I insulted your record collection?”Harvey points. “That’ll do.” He stands. “Good job you’re too smart to ever do that really.”Yeah. “Harvey?”“Hmm?”“Why did Hardman tell me to give you a message about your son?” It’s annoying that Harvey has his back to him and Hunter would say it’s purposeful, but the man isn’t as omnipotent as he pretends to be. “It’s was his final salvo.”Harvey busies himself with something on his desk.Hunter takes a breath. “I don’t…We’ve covered my personal…issues. I don’t need to know yours, I’m not the one training you. Except Hardman knows more than I do and you’re relying on me and my reactions.”Harvey still doesn’t react and then clicks his tongue. “He’s fishing,” he allows and then turns. “He knew I had a kid when he last worked here. We…argued. I refused a case that he wanted to me to work on.” He shifted. “I threatened to tell his daughter about his affair to keep him from coming back. It meant he got out ahead of me, but he had to upset her. My guess? He wants to get me back for that.”“Yeah, but his daughter…I saw her at the funeral. She was an adult. What’s yours? Twelve at the most?”Harvey turns looking pleased. “Probably the right mental age,” he says and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”“Really? Because that’s the sort of thing that can get messy.”Harvey seems to consider it and then shifts and his stance is very casual. Watching, like some great lion flicking his tail on a nature documentary all while his eyes track something. “If Hardman comes for my kid, nothing you do is going to change the situation.” He turns. “And it’s my choice, Hunter. You asked for more information. If me not giving it to you trips us up, that’s on me.”Hunter watches him. “Press where it hurts, right?” he offers quietly.“I told you,” Harvey says, flicking back through the folders. “He’s fishing.”Huh.Leaving, Hunter frowns. Fathers, in Hunter’s experience are difficult. His own was a bully, demanding and living in some stupid dream world where life would re-arrange to his wants and childish urges. Any protection that he had offered Hunter or his mother or siblings had been show and to fit into whatever demented story was operating in his head at the time.Jesse’s father had been demanding in a different way. A snob. All about appearances and he’d fully embraced Jesse’s sexuality, but Hunter had always been convinced that the man had worn it as a badge and Hunter had not been what Emilio had in mind for his child’s partner. Or for his public persona. Harvey as a father though…he’s arrogant and cocky. Smug. Probably annoying to have as a father, but…That’s probably one lucky kid.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The first thing that Mike hears about when it comes to Harvey being accused of fraud is when Travis Tanner turns up in his building.“Gotta say,” the man says, as he leans on the wall by Mike’s door. “Not quite the place I thought Harvey Specter’s son would be living in.”Shit. Mike says nothing as he heads for his door, mind already racing. “Is there a reason why you’re here?” he asks.“I just came from seeing your old man,” Tanner says and his eyes seem to be scanning Mike and Mike honestly isn’t sure what the man is looking for. “You know he just accused me of creating a memo, just to stick it to him.”Great, well done, Harvey. Making friends everywhere. “From what I know of you, that sounds shocking,” Mike says and turns to face the man. “You’re clearly here for something. What is it?”“Just a friendly message,” Tanner offers. “Tell your Dad that I’m coming for that pound of flesh.” He starts to move past Mike.“Do you want me to do it in a James Bond villain accent too?” Mike asks, turning to keep his gaze on the man. “Dude, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about and I don’t care. But you are not using me as your message boy,” he says and levels his chin. “And you’re not using me to fire off shots.”Tanner smirks at him. “Your father is being sued for fraud,” he says and Mike feels a sudden swamp of icy fear that he manages, somehow, to bat away because what he signed would have Harvey being looked at for tax evasion, collusion and whatever else was in that shitty deal that Forstman had him sign.“Bullshit,” Mike says, managing to answer in about three seconds.“Thing is, when this goes to court, I’ll need a character witness…” Tanner appears to think it over. “What better person that his own son? His grown-up, previously estranged son.” He appears to ponder it. Mike stares at him. “Please. Anything you trick me into saying can be dismissed as the ramblings of a spoilt little boy angry with Daddy. Even I could get my own testimony thrown out. His performance as a father has nothing to do with his performance at work.”“Maybe,” Tanner says as he steps close. “But I’d love to see his reaction to his boy being put on the stand. O being deposed in front of him.” He hums. “What secrets of yours could I find? Hmm? What uh…highs and lows?”Mike just stares back and Tanner smirks and then nods. “Tell Harv to have a good evening, will ya?”XxxWhen he gets to Harvey’s office, the man is sat with Hunter and they seem to be going through something. Donna isn’t at her desk and Harvey has ignored his phone all the way over.When Mike walks through the door, Harvey glares and Hunter stands.“Knock?” Hunter suggests like he’s some fucking guard dog. And whatever.Mike instead looks around Hunter who is so fucking tall and scowling down at him that he feels this sudden urge to give him a shove. He’s not an idiot though and catches Harvey’s gaze instead. “Tanner wanted me to give you a message.”Harvey…it’s like he goes on reaction lockdown. He stares at Mike and then nods slowly. “Hunter,” he says. “Go home.”Hunter, Mike notices, looks less than thrilled. “Me?” he asks in disbelief. “Why?” He scowls and steps closer, then folds his arms and the message is clear.He is not going to leave and Mike lets out an annoyed tsk and why did he have to be here? Or why couldn’t Harvey answer his damned phone?Harvey looks between them both and then shakes his head. “Goddamn Tanner,” he mutters and stares at the window for a moment. Then he turns to them and makes a ‘go ahead’ gesture at Mike and really? They’re doing this in front of Hunter?“You’re being accused of fraud?” Mike asks because it sounds like a neutral enough questionHarvey presses his lips together. “Didn’t think to mention this?” Mike presses.“Hunter,” Harvey says cutting across Mike. “Meet my son.”Hunter jolts and stares at Harvey and then swings his gaze between them like Mike and Harvey are playing tennis. And Mike doesn’t give a shit because at least the dickhead isn’t talking. And fine. “We had dinner last night,” Mike starts and Harvey sneers as if that should mean nothing. “No. This is…this is why I was caught off-guard because you didn’t mention-”“You were caught out because Tanner has clearly done a background check and found you. Which most people can. Don’t turn this into some whinge filled ammunition,” Harvey stands up and reaches for the scotch. He pours out two glasses and hands one to Hunter and then keeps the other.Seriously?Hunter, Mike notices dimly, just sits back down and has two sips then stares at the glass table with a weird intensity.“You’re angry,” Harvey says when Mike stares at him. “Calm down and you can get something to drink too.”Fuck this. “At this point,” Mike snarls, “When he puts me on the stand as your character witness, they’ll have to cut me off when I start telling them what a self-absorbed, asshole-”“Please,” Harvey laughs it off. “I’ll show them your record at school should I? They’ll crown me as a saint once they see how shitty you could be.”“Yeah,” Mike says stepping forward and Harvey’s expression suddenly becomes guarded, “We all know that. It’s him dredging up every aspect of my life in from of my peers just to get a dig in at you that’s the problem.”“You know what,” Harvey says and lifts his hand to point it at Mike, “Just once in your life it would be useful for you to show me some goddamned loyalty rather than act like the selfish little prick you accuse me of being.”“Why bother?” Mike asks, raising his chin, “You’ve got the surrogate son over there,” he adds, jabbing his thumb roughly at where Hunter is sat. “Next time Tanner comes knocking at my door, I’ll just give him his address, shall I?”“Go home.”It’s enraging. And Mike doesn’t even really know why he’s picked the fight other than he wants something and he has no clue what it is. But Harvey always does this. Orders Mike to leave like he’s eleven and needs to go to his room. And that usually suits Mike fine because it would take him out of Harvey’s presence, but it just-He’d throw something. Smash anything, but he’s just about conscious of Hunter still being in the room.He nods. And he knows the expression on his face is nasty because Harvey just looks even angrier.“Why?” he hisses. “Don’t want to tell me how I killed Grandpa again because I was such a shitty mess of a kid.”Harvey stares at him and then slides his gaze past and looks at Hunter. “Go home,” he says and that’s a softer order, but it’s absolutely not directed at Mike.“You sure?” Hunter asks softly.Mike throws up his hands. “Don’t bother,” he hisses and steps away while Harvey switches his gaze back and watches Mike silently. “I’m out.” He backs out of the room and Harvey says nothing.But really, what else is there to expect from Harvey?XxxIt’s Jessica that finds him the next day. She silently places a written confirmation that he’s had a verbal warning on his desk.“He’s a senior partner,” Jessica says, “And I’ve heard about that argument from two witnesses. One of whom is unbiased-”Mike snorts and then pauses when Jessica slams her hands upon the table.“You had better start acting like you’re a man rather than a child,” Jessica hisses down at him. “What you did last night was bullshit. You chose to confront him in his office, in front of a colleague. And there was no reason for you to start that fight.” She stands. “I know you fight and you two do what you need to do at home. But in this office, he is your senior. Do you understand?”Mike stares at the piece of paper. “Mike?”He looks up at where she stands in the doorway.“Whatever that fight was really about, you sure as shit better figure it out.”Mike looks down at refuses to watch her leave. But once she does, he puts his head in his hands and lets out a breath.Then he reaches for his phone.Xxx“Are we going to discuss last night?” Hunter asks carefully.Harvey is at his desk and Hunter wants to…he doesn’t know. This whole thing is…Mike Ross is Harvey’s son?What the hell happened to that gene pool?Harvey draws in a long sigh and then glares up at Hunter. “I was nineteen. So was his biological mom. She was a bitch and left. I had him adopted and then regained custody of him when he was eleven after a car crash. And, as you can see,” he says with a sarcastic gesture, “we all lived happily ever after and sprinkle pixie dust wherever we go.”That’s… “I was talking about Tanner clearly wanting to take you to court to discredit you, but…” he smiles as Harvey frowns. “He came at you,” he says quietly and Mike Ross is an idiot, but Hunter has never seen him go like that for anyone.And he has never seen Harvey so restrained.Harvey’s mouth twitches. “Well, if previous records hold, he won’t be back in here for anywhere between ten days and a year.” He shakes himself and then grins. “And, we have an emancipation case-”“Are you sure-”Harvey stands and adjusts his suit jacket. “What?” he asks and he seems perfectly fine. “Kid wants to play professional tennis. Which…it’s tennis so I’d say he’s overestimating how much anyone gives a shit about it. But it’s not my kid. Mine waited until he was eighteen to cut ties.” He shrugs. “Call in the father. We’ll see if it can be fixed. Otherwise if a kid wants to go, he’ll go.”Hunter nods.“Hunter?”“Mm?”Harvey fiddles with something on his desk and then meets his gaze, head high. “It won’t stay hidden,” he says. “Not if Tanner knows. So I’m not asking you to keep it secret. But if you try any Jerry Springer crap on me, I will sell you to Louis.”Hunter winces at the very idea. “Harvey, with all due respect, I am not a fan of your son. And the less likely it is that he’s in this office, the happier I am.”The man bizarrely looks amused. “As long as we’re clear.”XxxTheir meeting between Hector and his father is…awkward. Which it probably wouldn’t have been were Hunter not so aware of what was happening in Harvey’s personal life. Not that Harvey does a damn thing out of line. His ability to compartmentalise in this matter is nothing short of extraordinary and, if Hunter thinks about it, that’s probably because Harvey has been doing this for roughly thirteen years.Which means it’s just Hunter over thinking and he just…he can’t get there.They’re both arrogant, he thinks, considering Mike and Harvey. But that goes hand in hand with their profession. Both quick-witted and holy shit, Mike already had an eidetic memory, he did not need to have Harvey backing him either.Except apparently not since the age of eighteen.Mike Ross is a former drug user if not addict. Who hung around with drug dealers. Who barely showed up to class and cruised to number two. He was also an absolute mess of a human being and while he might have grown up a little bit, he’s nowhere near what Hunter would expect of Harvey’s child.“Do you have children, Mr Specter?” Hector’s father asks, cutting off Harvey’s tact to use other clients as a model as to how they could look after Hector when he turns pro.“I do,” Harvey says with a nod and he doesn’t even look at Hunter. “A boy.”“And if he wanted this?”Harvey looks at Hector. And then at Hunter.“Your son is almost a man,” Harvey says. “You have a few years left while you have the say in his life and then he’s grown. At least Hector is making a stand. Has some reasonable requests. He wants to play tennis professionally while he’s in his peek.” He leans back. “I promise you. Two years is not as far away as you think.”It’s hard to tell who that last part is aimed at. “If it were your son?”“My son went to college when he was seventeen. Could have gone when he was fourteen. It was his choice not to go.” Harvey grits his teeth. “His choice not to be moved up a grade or two. I listened to him. It’s his life.”The father actually sneers. “This?” he asks, turning to his son. “This is what you want? For me to bend over backwards. You are a child. You are not turning pro.”Harvey, when Hunter looks, seems only amused by the idea.XxxWhen Hunter has his lunch, he finds himself up on Frank Yates’ floor and knocking on Mike’s door.He just gets a familiar glare for his trouble. And silence because Mike just stares for two seconds and then decides to ignore Hunter and return to his work.“You know he’s working an emancipation case?” Hunter asks.Mike just snorts. “Bet he’s all for it.”“I keep…” Hunter debates what to say. “I’m not here to help you two or get involved. I just…is there anything we should avoid?”Mike blinks and then looks up. “Doubt it.” He seems to consider it. “Why?”“Today is the first time I’ve ever heard him talk about his life outside of the office. He was asked if he had a kid,” Hunter says as he unbuttons his suit jacket and takes a seat.Mike sighs and shoves the paper away. “Look, man,” he says and Hunter is surprised by how calm he sounds this morning. “I know last night I came across… and that’s probably fair. But me and Harvey… we fight like hell. We have genuine shit in our relationship but if you think for a second that Harvey will let it affect anything in the office then you’re an idiot. Case and point,” Mike adds and slides a memo thing and-It’s acknowledgement of a verbal warning.Holy shit. Harvey sent Jessica down here to issue Mike with a verbal warning. No wonder she was asking questions.“He said yes,” Hunter pushes. Mike hums sounding uninterested as he draws the papers back to him.“He said he had a son. Who didn’t want to be moved up grades. Who he trusted to know best.”Mike pressed his lips together and he looked like something there was deeply funny. “Are you shitting me?” he asked. “You have to be shitting me.”“I don’t-”Mike actually pulls out his phone and pulls up an unsaved number and calls. “Quicker then usual,” is all Harvey greets them with over speakerphone.“Hunter is here telling me how much you trusted me to know what was right as a kid about moving up a grade.”There is a snort. “Wouldn’t have trusted you with a goldfish. It was the counsellor and Mel that convinced me of that.”“Social worker,” Mike mouthed in explanation. “Thanks for the verbal warning,” he snarks at Harvey.“Did you honestly just call to get my associate to leave you alone.” There’s a pause. “You wanna tall me what he did?”It’s probably an open question.“Same that I did to you,” Mike mutters. “Drew breath.”Harvey hangs up and Mike doesn’t look the least bit surprised. “It’s a move,” he says, moving the phone to the side. “He only does moves. If you think for a second that he’s being truthful in anything he says in this case, you’re an idiot.” Mike shrugs. “Harvey doesn’t lie, but he sure as hell doesn’t open up to clients.”Hunter nods slowly and stands.“You’re right,” he can’t help but say when he gets to the door. “But I’ve never seem him as restrained as he was last night.”Mike looks up and there’s a bitter smile as if that is not news to him. And then something almost seems to occur to him. “Is Donna okay?” he asks. “I usually get a glare or some bullshit phone call by this point.”Hunter shrugs. “She’s been busy checking out the old files for this memo.” He hesitates and then clears his throat. “Harold thinks we’re together. Donna and I,” he clarifiesMike, who was half way to writing some note shoots his head back up. “Why?” he asks and there’s the start of a genuine grin on his face.“She made it look like she’d been giving me a blowjob.”Mike covers his mouth with his hand, but the smirk is still definitely there. “I’d tell him that,” he says and then drops the hand. “God forbid you mess with Donna.”“Because of her or because of him.”“Both,” Mike says bluntly. “To be fair, Harold is currently cat sitting for Louis in his office. I doubt he remembers the…incident.”God these people. Hunter pinches the bridge of his nose. “You and Harvey are having some ritual fight, my boss might think that I stuck it in his assistant, and the guy who could tell him that is looking after a cat in a legal office which Louis feels is probably some form of torture.”“You should see the rash.”Jesus.He heads over to see Hector because, at the moment, the kid is probably the least shitty person to speak to.Xxx“We need to rethink the emancipation case,” Hunter announces as he walks back into Harvey’s office that afternoon.“I know. That’s what I’m-” He hisses when Hunter drops the medical records on the desk. “Are you serious?”“I checked with the hospital. He might be an athlete, but these,” Hunter shakes his head. “This is pushing too far.”“The father?”“The father who has no interest in his son turning pro and thinks tennis is a beautiful game?” Hunter argues. “No.”Harvey sucks in a breath and then sits back in his chair. “Shit,” he murmurs and closes his eyes briefly.“I don’t know who,” Hunter pushes. “The coach, the agent. Some sports teacher at school. But this is not someone losing their temper.”Harvey slides the hospital records closer to him. And looks up almost slyly at Hunter. “Quick to recognise patterns of abuse,” he offers.Hunter shakes his head. And he thinks the point is clear because Harvey rolls his eyes and glares pointedly at the open door which Hunter goes to close and he doesn’t know why he’s pushing this-He does. He thought they were…friends? Maybe? On their way? More than colleagues.Harvey taps on the desk thoughtfully and then shifts. “Do you know I was accused of hurting Mike once.”“How would I know that?”It makes Harvey grin, surprisingly. “He was almost twelve. Left school after a fight and went to hospital with a broken arm. When I accused the school of not checking him over, and they should have checked him, even if they expelled him, they came back and accused me. A year later that goddamned kid…” Harvey shakes his head. “He got food poisoning. Hid it. I had social services on me twice.” He picks up the hospital records again. “But that second time…his attitude was weird. He was being…he was trying desperately to please everyone. I had to sit there and be accused and then got told that I needed to cooperate because if it wasn’t me, it was someone.” Harvey seems lost in his thoughts for a moment. “But this…his father surely has to know.”“You didn’t.”Harvey blinks at him and then nods slowly. And then looks at Hunter pointedly.“Mine would be thicker,” Hunter says slowly, nodding at the pile. “My father was…is difficult. My mother too scared. My siblings have all moved out and he was in prison for a time, but…” He looks down at the folders. “I know what angry wounds look like and I know what proving a point looks like. Getting his son to run laps when they were arguing about him turning pro? That’s not showing off power.”Harvey studies him. “How old were you when he went to prison,” he asks casually.“Fourteen.”The age seems to make Harvey think of something. “Is he out?”Hunter nods. “We don’t speak.”“Send him my way if he contacts you.”It makes something in Hunter clench in what might be panic or relief, he isn’t sure. “I’m not your son, Harvey.”“No,” Harvey agrees, “you’re way to calm for that. But that’s how this works. He comes at you, he’s coming for me too.”Mike Ross is a fucking idiot. “Wait…” Hunter turns. “What uh… was it someone? Hurting him?”Harvey who was reaching for the phone looks baffled for a moment and then shakes his head. “You wanna know what my life is like? Try having social services meeting you, being convinced someone is hurting your kid and listening to your dad say there are no bruises and start picturing what you are gonna do to the bastard that touched your kid.”Hunter freezes.“Only to find out the goddamned kid was jealous of Donna and trying to compete.” Harvey looks -pained at the idea and half-exhausted by just the memory. Hunter feels a disbelieving chuckle burst from him and Harvey just seems to accept it with a sort of weary acceptance over the memory. XxxMike waits in the copy room. “I unplugged it,” he says when Donna walks in and starts to fiddle with the shredder. Donna looks over at him and he wants to wince. How is it that Harvey can nudge and push and just know how to break someone down, but he can never quite see stuff like this. She’s pale and her outfit is darker, no twists or flares and he knows that means she’s been distracted. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Donna says and she’s a good actress. That surprised him when he came to work at the firm; he had no idea that she’s once had ambitions for it. “Don’t bullshit me, Donna,” he says as he starts to move forward, “that’s the same file that you had in your hands this morning. You ran out of here like you saw a ghost. You bit off Rachel’s head talking about how people never have the things they’re supposed to have, you haven’t once pushed or prodded at me for storming into Harvey’s office and now you’re right back here again.” He watches her. “That’s the memo that Harvey’s been accused of burying.”She stares at him and she might have the perfect expression on her face, but at this distance he can see how tired and pale she seems. “You know the fact that you would even accuse me of that makes me sick.” She hold his gaze. “But if you still don’t believe me, fine.” And she moves the file to hand it out to him. “See for yourself.”And it would work on most people. But Mike attended Harvey Specter’s ‘I call bullshit’ seminars for years.He takes hold of the file and when he pulls, she doesn’t let go.“I don’t know what to do,” she says softly.“Tell me what happened,” he offers as she relinquishes the file to him.“I found it in the file room when he sent me down,” she says and he’s never really heard her voice wobble like this and it’s unsettling to say the least. “It has my date stamp on it. Mine. All right?”“You have to tell Harvey. He’ll know what to do.”“No he won’t,” she pushes. “You know him. He’ll want to protect me.”Mike pauses. And if this were another day, another piece of paper…“Donna,” he says firmly. “Harvey’s been operating under the assumption that we never had this memo, all right? At some point that assumption is going to bite him in the ass.” He tries not to think about what he’s saying. “The later it happens, the bigger the bite.”She shakes her head. “Nobody is going to believe that a file that important just got lost. They’ll think that I got rid of it and that Harvey asked me to do it.”“If you shred it,” Mike hisses, “it’s a crime.”“Well I have some loyalty to Harvey,” she says and Mike clenches his jaw and she turns on her heels and walks out.He stands still in the room for a little longer. And then shakes his head.XxxIt takes him an hour of meetings, phone calls and one hideous conversation with a gloating asshole to come to a decision.Louis and Harvey are just finishing talking when Mike gets to his floor.Harvey hold up his hand as Mike approaches. “We are not doing this,” he warns and turns away. “I don’t want to hear it.”“You seem upset,” Mike offers.“Of course I’m upset. I just found out that Louis and I share a dentist,” Harvey says, striding back into his office.“Have you spoken to Donna yet?”“No. But I will. I need her to get me a new dentist.” And the ass deliberately walks to his desk and stands behind it which yeah, okay, he gets the visual warning. And people say that Mike’s the unsubtle one. “And you really can’t afford another warning.”Mike stares at the ceiling and grits his teeth. “I am sorry.”“For?”Seriously? He stares at his father in disbelief and then closes his eyes in frustration when he hears Jessica’s voice.“Allison’s filing a motion to dismiss the fraud claim,” Jessica says and then looks at Mike and then at Harvey pointedly.“We’re discussing dentists,” Harvey mutters. “What is that?”“An affidavit I need you to sign to say that we never received that memo from coastal motors.”It’s like the world slows down. Mike watches, heart thumping wildly in his chest as Jessica lays the papers in front of Harvey and his father, without blinking, seems to accept it and reach for a pen. Which means he's about to sign and shit. Harvey wets the tip and there’s a coffee cup in Mike’s field of vision and-He knocks it over and wow had he forgotten how protective Harvey is of his suits because the man jumps up like there’s the lottery to be won.“Shit, Dad-”Jessica round on Mike in surprise, but using the word ‘Dad’ seems to have convinced her it was a genuine accident. “There are napkins over there,” Harvey orders and then Mike sees him look at Jessica in disbelief as Mike turns. “Now do you believe me about what happened to the Peterson briefs?”“You left them on the couch,” Mike mutters as he walks back and starts dabbing and suddenly he’s very aware of Jessica glaring at him. “I mean…I didn’t-”“Put firm documents into a pizza box when you were fifteen?” Jessica checks way too politely.Mike winces and says nothing as he busies himself in the clean-up.“Come see me after and I’ll get you a new one,” Jessica says, apparently giving up with that conversation.As she leaves, Harvey stands up.“Why are you here?” he asks very quietly. “We need to press pause,” Mike offers and stares down at the napkin and the coffee that’s bleeding into it. “You can’t sign the affidavit, you’d be committing perjury.”Harvey just closes his eyes and lets out an exhale of breath like the air’s spontaneously decided to leave his lungs. “How do you know,” he asks.Mike doesn’t want to say the word.“Kid.”“Donna,” Mike says and he can’t meet Harvey’s gaze. “I caught her trying to shred it an hour ago. I…I hoped she’d come to you.”Harvey looks furious. And he walks out without a word.XxxThat evening, while Mike watches TV, there’s a knock at the door. Then a key in the lock and Mike debates just throwing the remote at Harvey’s head but settles for ignoring him as he puts the papers under the table.For the first time in a long time, Harvey sits down on the sofa next to him.“I agree to a pause,” Harvey says.“My pause ran out,” Mike snaps.“Jessica fired Donna.”What? Horrified, Mike turns, and shifts and Harvey looks tired. “But she still had the memo so-”“She destroyed it.”Shit. Mike sinks back into the sofa and closes his eyes. “I…” And he kind of wants to apologise and kind of wants to start a fight but he isn’t used to Harvey looking like this and he doesn’t really know how to play it. “What happens now?”“Jessica is going to take the case to trial,” Harvey says and shakes his head. “You should have told me when you found out.”Mike nodded and then shakes his head. “Because you always do?”Harvey says nothing. Then he smiles bitterly. “You think that was me throwing something at you?” he asks and his voice is oddly dull. And then he lets out a shaken breath and stands and fiddles with his keys before tossing one on the couch.It’s Mike’s.“I can’t deal with this and you right now. And you contributed to this so you are gonna either get with this or shut up and take a back seat for a few months while this is happening.”“Tanner wants to depose me.”“Jessica will prep you,” Harvey says as he turns away.“Dad-”“No.” Harvey swings back. “No. I am so fucking…I could kill you right now. You picked a fight. You didn’t come to me with your suspicions and you didn’t come to me when you saw how unsure she was. It’s Donna. And if this was you only knowing her since you worked her then I’d get it. But Donna…” he trails off and Mike can feel something sink in him. “She used to take the hit for screwing up my meetings when I couldn’t get time off. She’s just claim it was her fault. She sat on the phone to you for years giving you advice. She was with you when Dad…” he breaks off and Mike can barely move. “You once walked out for years. I am asking for a few months where you are not my concern.”Mike nods and Harvey’s eyes narrow as if he’s disappointed by something.And then he holds out his hand.It makes Mike’s mouth go bone dry but he stands, feeling shaky as he goes and gets his keys and struggles to unhook Harvey’s key and the pile of papers under the couch are burning a hole in his mind and he just…Harvey waits silently as Mike hands him the key.And he still seems disappointed, even as he walks out and slams the door behind him.The TV seems so far away and Mike can hear his breathing echoing in his head until suddenly his phone buzzing disturbs him.“So,” Tanner says on the other line. “The spoiled brat has come around to my way of thinking then. huh?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
That goddamned kid. It’s almost impossible to explain just how pissed Harvey is at the situation. And there’s the smallest part of him that suspects that maybe, just maybe, Mike ignored the part where Harvey said it was either Mike swallowed his pride or they stopped talking for a while, but the kid is clever. Detail oriented, everyone says. So why exactly he wouldn’t have actually listened to the conversation, Harvey doesn’t know.Which leaves him with the knowledge that Mike has just…has chosen to keep up this petty bullshit rather than suck it up and actually help. Which is…difficult.Difficult. Yeah, that’s the word that Harvey wants to use. Difficult.It’s always difficult with his son.
Six years ago
It’s early. Earlier than Harvey usually gets in, but sitting in that apartment where his father died and his son walked out is driving Harvey mad. He sat in the kitchen, half-heartedly drinking and more importantly, keeping an eye on the door. Mike never walked back through and his snarled announcement that he’s already walked out is starting to ring more and more true. If that goddamned kid has gone anywhere near Laura…He ignores that rest of the thought and turns his attention to the merger instead. Donna and Jessica seem to have been helping quietly which annoys Harvey and he finds himself purposefully re-writing parts of the contract just to make a point which might be petty, but Harvey doesn’t give a shit.“What are you doing here?” Donna asks and, when Harvey looks up, she’s hovering at the door looking concerned, almost as if she might walk in and drag him away from the desk.“This is my place of work,” Harvey says, looking back down at the work in front of him. “It’s working hours. Therefore, I am here.”He can feel her gaze and refuses to look up. Refuse to react when he hears her walk over and sit opposite him. “What happened?” He debates just telling her to leave. To point out that she is there to help him and he doesn’t want to talk about this. But he knows Donna; she’ll nag and push and-And if Mike calls…“He moved out,” Harvey says and he keeps his voice as neutral as possible. Donna doesn’t say anything and that’s even worse. And then she reaches for his hand and squeezes. And it makes Harvey pause the other hand that’s writing and he doesn’t know what to say.“He’ll come back,” Donna reassures him. Yeah. Maybe. But Harvey can’t shake the look of shock that crossed Mike’s face when Harvey smacked him. And it was a smack. There was nothing cruel about it and nothing about the strike that would have caused harm. But it’s not what worries Harvey. It’s the fact that twice, he nearly did hit the kid. He’d felt it. Felt the muscles in his arm twitch. Felt the urge to knock the kid back and make sure that he just stopped talking and pushing and heading towards the door. Part of him had wanted to shove the kid into his room and lock the door to make sure that he could control where the boy was-He’d turned down a partnership for the boy. He can’t shake the thought. He turned it down. He’d held off making the decision as long as possible and then Mike had…things hadn’t…He pulls his hand back from Donna’s hold and shakes his head. He doesn’t really know what he’s trying to communicate with the motion; that he doesn’t agree, that he doesn’t want to talk about it; that there’s more than what he’s said.She seems to get it though. When he glances up, she looks thoughtful. Worried. But she works around him quietly for the rest of the day.“Want me to call him?” she asks.Harvey debates it. But Mike is…Mike is vicious at the moment and Harvey isn’t entirely sure he can deal with it right now.He shakes his head.XxxNow“Get your tux,” Harvey orders when Hunter opens the door.Hunter blinks at him and then shakes his head. “Why?”Harvey simply pushes past and then looks around the apartment. It’s neat and tidy, if a little too simple for Harvey’s taste. The TV is on, paused and there are law books open and some that are bookmarked. “We’re going to Atlantic city.”Hunter raises an eyebrow. “Why?”“Client.” Harvey folds his arms. “Have you got one?”Hunter sighs and looks at the law books longingly. “I’m not drinking,” he says, as if this is some negotiation.“Great. Ray’s outside.”Hunter mutters something under his breath that may be him implying that Harvey is dramatic or something, but Harvey decides to magnanimously ignore it.XxxIn the car, Hunter stares out the window seeming lost in thought. “I’m impressed you have a tux,” Harvey says.It seems to stir Hunter into awareness. “Sister’s wedding,” he explains, looking back at Harvey. “It was eight months ago. I chose to buy rather than rent.” He seems to debate something, but whatever he thinks of makes him look away again.“I take it that wasn’t one of your better days?”Hunter smiles but it’s a bitter one and he says nothing.Harvey watches him. He’s…reserved is probably being mild in terms of explaining Hunter’s devotion to privacy. He’s guarded and Harvey knows a few pieces of the puzzle but not enough and Hunter tells him in dribs and drabs which is enough. The man is fiercely loyal and something about it warms Harvey, and while he’d never say that he wants to openly discuss feelings, he would like to know a little bit more about what’s going on inside his associate’s head. “Was your father there?”Hunter shakes his head. “My eldest sister and him do not get on. She likes him less than I do. My mother was there. And my maternal uncle…” he scowls and then looks out the window. “He emigrated three years ago to the States.”Harvey waits.It takes almost a minute. “Did you know in a recent survey in El Salvador, sixty-two percent of the population thought homosexuality should not be accepted by society.”There’s the smallest hint of an accent when he speaks about his mother’s homeland. Harvey is pretty sure that the Hunter was trained out of any slight hint, though he speaks Spanish perfectly the few times they’ve needed it for a case. “I assume your uncle would vote the same?”Hunter just nods. “As would my mother, if…” he frowns at the thought. “Perhaps that’s unfair. If she thought it would make me straight, I think my mother would return to my father. Sometimes, she thinks it’s a punishment. Me…” Hunter continues to stare out of the window and then shakes his head.There’s something about it that makes Harvey want scowl. The idea that any parent wouldn’t accept something so fundamental in their child…Mike might be a tenacious shit, but Harvey can’t deny that he loves that part of his son. Less so when it’s turned against him, but it’s just his personality. And he thinks of Mike’s cautious question as a teenager, if boys would be okay to and Harvey is ninety-nine percent sure that Mike just asked it to be sure, but if it had been different, if Mike had said that he liked boys too or exclusively…He’d have worried about him more. Harvey can’t deny that. Whether because of worrying about the reactions of society or just knowing it would make things a little harder for his brilliant boy, Harvey isn’t sure. And Harvey is all too aware of how shit teenage boys can be. After all, he was one.(Then again, he’s also aware of how shit young women can be so there’s that, he supposes).Hunter looks at him questioningly and Harvey stirs himself a little. “Parents are meant to love unconditionally,” he says and he can feel something in his freeze a little at how close he’s getting to touching on his own issues with his mother. “Not put their own selfish wants above them.”Hunter almost looks amused. “My mother is a devout Catholic. She wants me to be happy. She also wants my eternal soul to go up rather than down. She just sees the world differently to me.”“That’s…an overly calm response.”“Not really,” Hunter argues, “Just a normal, complicated truth. If you saw Mike putting himself in danger, wouldn’t you warn him?”Harvey thinks of Laura. “I did. And I let him make his own decisions.”“And I imagine he was aware that you disapproved.” Hunter shifts a little. “I’m not saying that she’s right to think as she does. But she believes in her church. She believes in what she’s told. I commit sin with the way I live my life in her books. If I didn’t, I’d be safe.” He winces. “And now I’m arguing for her point of view,” he mutters and looks vaguely disgusted. “All I’m saying is that…we just don’t talk about it. But my Uncle is a dick.”Harvey smiles at the last. “And if you met someone?”A shadow crosses Hunter’s face. “She did meet my last serious…she just didn’t know it. I introduced him as my friend. Always.”“She must have guessed.”“It’s amazing the things that people can ignore when they’re afraid,” Hunter says easily.Xxx
Six years ago
“Are you sure about this?” Donna asks quietly.Harvey nods. The apartment is almost painful to walk into now. His Dad’s bedroom has stopped smelling like him and Mike’s room is too quiet and empty and there are no longer books strewn around half read or records and sheet music piled up in the corner.“Have you talked to Mike about it?” Donna asks as she taps away at the laptop and Harvey would guess that she’s contacting an agent to get rid of the place.It’s been six months and Harvey has just started crawling his way back up. There’s been a weird, clenching humiliation about announcing you’re turning down a partnership only to have it abundantly clear that the family he was apparently meant to be spending time with had walked out and left him.The idea of calling Mike…the kid’s fine. Vanessa’s kept an eye on him. He drinks too much and there’s been a few incidents with pot, but his grades are high as ever and he’s on a scholarship now so he’s fine for money.“Harvey,” Donna pushes, looking up. “If he comes home-”If. Harvey stares down at the table and he can’t picture it. He can’t picture his kid knocking on the door or coming home. He’d thought maybe thanksgiving or Christmas but…“He won’t,” Harvey states. “Find me a place. Something different.”Donna says nothing but he can feel her disapproval radiating. He takes a sip and studies her. Red hair is spilling over her shoulders and she’s still as beautiful as she was that night years ago-He wants her. The urge is suddenly overwhelming and he watches her, sat in the armchair with the laptop on her lap, a frown on her face and apparently completely unaware of how he’s looking at her right now.Except she does seem to feel his gaze on her and pauses, looking up and over.“Don’t,” she says softly.“Why?” he asks.“Because you’re looking for a distraction,” Donna says and she doesn’t sound angry. Rather, she seems sad for him. “It’d be a beautiful distraction,” he offers easily.Donna gives him a half smile. “Damn right,” she agrees and looks back at the screen and that’s it. The moment continues on and Harvey is still left in the apartment that he once shared with his dead father and absent son.XxxKeith Hoyt when they get to the casino is not only drinking, but he’s also gambling and Harvey watches him at the poker table, mid-play with what looks like two to three million dollars in chips stacked in front of him.“That’s our client?” Hunter mutters.Harvey nods, casting a gaze around the table. They seem relatively passive players, going for the odds rather than the people and it bores him already. “The one with alcohol and gambling problems,” Hunter checks, glaring down.Harvey nods again and hides a smile when Hunter mutters something in Spanish under his breath. A woman edges closer to his associate and smiles at him which Hunter seems utterly oblivious to as he continues to seethe at the situation.“All in,” Keith declares and Harvey’s attention immediately switches to the idiot in the room.“Keith,” Harvey says, striding forward as people murmur.“Harvey,” Keith says and he rises to his feet with a small wobble and Harvey has a flicker of a memory of Mike stumbling in front of him, high and drunk and miserable. He shakes the image away and shakes the client’s hand, pulling him in a little.“This is a bad idea,” Harvey murmurs under his breath quietly.“You haven’t seen my hand,” Keith murmurs back, all purring boast. He hasn’t. But Keith is drunk and impulsive and those two things do not work well when playing this game. But, short of dragging him from the table, there isn’t much that Harvey can actually do. He looms over the players as Keith sits down, glancing at them all again and this is a game that is going to rely solely on the luck of the hand which makes Harvey bristle. He turns back to Hunter who seems to have sent the woman scuttling off and is now standing with his arms crossed like some sort of bouncer at a club, his dark eyes trained on Keith as the opposing player calls.And they both watch as the last card is turned over and that last card is the only card that could have allowed the other player to beat Keith.Shit.Then a guy walks over with a napkin and reminds Keith that a deal’s a deal because the idiot put up his company as collateral and used a goddamned napkin to sign an agreement.Meeting with him upstairs is…God.Talking to an addict about staying away from what is ruining them?Yeah, that’s a sucker punch.Still, they get through the conversation. They get through the shit cards they’ve been dealt with because anyone else would have folded from this in round one. They go round over round and they’re losing. So Harvey challenges Tom to poker to get Keith’s company back.“You sure about this?” Hunter asks quietly as they head to Harvey’s office.“Did you actually just ask me that?”Hunter makes an annoyed noise in his throat and then shakes his head. “You’ve been…reflective.”“Reflective?” Harvey challenges, turning around. Hunter just glares back and Harvey turns and enters his office, waiting for Hunter to shut the door. “You think I’m going into this without a clear head?”“He was stupid,” Hunter says. “He handed over his company. Let him face the consequences. You said it yourself. We’re not winning this.”“But I can.” Harvey glares at Hunter. “I play the man.”“Usually.” Hunter doesn’t seem willing to back down. “But I can give a pretty good guess as to why you’re not letting an addict live with the mess he’s gotten himself into.”Harvey feels a thread of ice run through his veins and he has to swallow back breath because he’s pretty sure if he opens his mouth, the phrase ‘you’re fired’ will come out.“I don’t lose clients,” he says eventually. “And if he doesn’t have a company, then I don’t have any use for him.” He squares up, not enough to be threatening, but enough to make the point. “and don’t ever use that again.”Hunter stares at him impassively. “How mad are you now?” Hunter presses. ““Guy seems like a dick and I have plans tonight. I kinda need you to bankrupt him quick.”Harvey glares at Hunter. “You’re walking a fine line,” he warns. “But yeah. This won’t take long.”Hunter simply shrugs. XxxxHe reads the guy so quickly it hurts. After the first opening salvo, the guy never recovers and he goes down so hard it would be painful if it were anyone else at any other time.Jessica reads him the riot act and Harvey doesn’t care. It felt good to have a win. To have control over someone else to that extent. To make someone else hurt and panic. And he doesn’t give a shit what that says about him.XxxAfter that, everything is quiet for a week or so. And then? Well…The deposition with Tanner doesn’t go well.Well…that’s not true. In many ways the deposition ends fantastically in Harvey’s opinion. And it allows Jessica to get a read on what they’re about to be up against.Tanner mocks them for ‘losing’ the document and makes it clear what he wants.Harvey disbarred.He and Jessica have worked together way too many times for Tanner to manage to pull them apart or shake them. At least, in the conventional sense.“Look at that. How cute. Finishing each other’s sentences. No wonder you won’t throw him under the bus. Good for you, Harvey. I mean you’re throwing her under the bus. But then you have a history of doing that to women, don’t you?”“Watch yourself, Tanner,” Harvey warns and there’s a prickle of a warning shooting down his spine. Not fear. He isn’t afraid of this, just…recognition. Of a man who thinks he can win.And he mocks and jeers and then when Jessica declares the deposition to be over, he asks, “Oh what, is mommy gonna take you home now?” and then pulls a face like he’s just worked something out. “Oh wait. That’s it. You got a thing for mommy. And now it all makes sense because I actually looked into the mommy’s in your life. The mommy who abandoned your son. The mommy who while you were out was at home with your boy and banging-”Harvey hits him.And yeah. It’s not great. But it feels damn good. And Hardman actually makes a useful suggestion about a trial run and he’s right. Because Tanner will go for anything and they need to be aware of what’s coming.So he gives Hunter to Louis who’s playing Tanner because Louis can trip people up and has his merits, but Hunter has ammunition and he’s more likely to know how Harvey thinks.And he gets Zoe back to help him and Jessica prep this thing.Five years ago, she was…a maybe. A someone. Someone he might have introduced to his shithead of a son when he was in a good mood. But she’s still quick and brilliant and self-assured which is sexy as hell.XxxThe trial run starts with Louis calling him to the stand and Hunter is sat with him. Harvey has to hand it to them, they make a good point about a prank he once pulled and it’s petty, but it does the job.“You need to be better than that,” Jessica murmurs to Harvey as they leave the room.“Better?” Harvey asks, amused. “It was a prank. It’s a clever trick, but it is just that. In court-”“You need the partners to see that you’re innocent,” Jessica corrects.Whatever. He doesn’t need anyone to see jack shit. He’s innocent and he wouldn’t do this. He doesn’t need to do this sort of thing.XxxWhen Jessica is called to the stand, Louis interrogates her about the expectations of a partner, implying that Harvey would have felt pressure to win at all costs. It’s not great, but it’s not bad either. And Harvey has dinner with Zoe and he’s half flirting and half distracting himself and half being a dick which is all part of the package really.In the firm the next day, he knows that Louis is planning on deposing ‘Donna’ as played by Rachel and he’s vaguely distracted when Donna actually walks in. He catches her out of the corner of his eye and feels something in him sink at the idea that she might actually be interrogated in front of this firm because of Tanner’s problem with Harvey and that…well. The thought isn’t as hideous as the reality of watching Louis tear Donna apart on the stand and ask of Donna is in love with Harvey and the panic in her eyes, the worry in the lines of her body where she’s usually so confident.He can’t stand the sight of it.He storms into the bathroom after Louis who is breathing heavily over the sink.“You crossed a line,” he announces.“Can we do this later?” Louis asks dully.“You humiliated Donna. You kept pushing and pushing and for what huh? For fun?”“What you think I enjoyed that?” Louis asks and he isn’t losing his temper. “That made me sick.”“You could have stopped,” Harvey points out, and this is wrong. This isn’t how Louis usually reacts.Louis turns away from the sink to face him. “You think Travis Tanner would have stopped? Travis Tanner does not give a shit about Donna Paulsen.”“You did not have to do that,” Harvey points out.“I did my job,” Louis says and pushes past to walk away.Absolutely not. Turning, Harvey pushes. “You really want to beat me that badly? Huh?”Louis turns suddenly. “If I did, I would have put your son up there and asked him about you telling him that he killed his own grandfather.”What?“Because that’s where Tanner could go with it,” Louis says, stepping forward. “I recorded you. I heard you and Mike arguing. You wanna know how much ammunition I have there? But I can’t put that in a trial run, Harvey, because then I’m announcing information.”Harvey shakes his head. “If you even think about putting my kid through that-”“He will.” Louis is absolute in it. “How many ways could I have played it Harvey? Single father needed to make money and ensure his genius son could get the education he needed? A careless man who repeatedly walks away from the mistake he made all those-”He cuts off as Harvey grabs him and shoves him into the bathroom wall. And there’s fear in his eyes, but also a strange certainty that looks weird without the usual accompanying triumph that Louis usually shows the few times he’s right or wins against Harvey.“Or an angry bully who pushes at the women and children around him to get what he wants.”Harvey’s fingers clench of Louis’s suit jacket and for a second he imagines it. Ploughing his fist into that smug face and-“You recorded me?” he asks quietly.Louis flinches a little as if suddenly sensing that he’s made a mistake. “I didn’t bring your kid to the stand,” he points out. “He’s with Yates. Has been for weeks. Barely in the office,” he adds, looking annoyed.“That’s what stopped you?” Harvey breaths and his anger comes flooding back. “So you are that desperate to beat me-”“You think all of this is about beating you?” Louis asks and a hint of disgust suddenly enters his voice. “This whole thing is about saving you. Everyone is trying to help you because you screwed up. This ia all your fault. And what happened to that beautiful woman in there. That’s on you,” he says, the last is almost roared out. “And what could have happened if I wanted to beat you would have been me humiliating your son too. So don’t you come in here accusing me of treating this like sport. You’re to blame for this. Not me.”And with that he walks out.XxxHarvey doesn’t sleep well that night. He did it once before. Gave up something for someone else. He put his son first when his father died and he’d been shit out of luck then. And giving up, backing down from this fight with Tanner…it’s his reputation. It’s his pride.And he has swallowed it down so many times for his son. And maybe Donna deserves this too but everytime, every single time he lets down his guard it just allows someone to sneak in and attack.“Permission to treat the witness as hostile,” Jessica asks the next morning.He’s her goddamned client and she wants to treat him as hostile? Hardman, lording it over them all as the pretend judge in this trial run gives permission and Harvey wants to roll his eyes at the man.“Why did you become a lawyer?” Jessica asks.“Well, as pointed out by my managing partner,” Harvey says, smirking, “I’m one of the best. Money’s good too. I hear you can make millions in your bonus as a senior partner.”“So it’s just for the perks?” Jessica asks. “Do you think it’s a job where you have responsibility?”“Yes,” Harvey says and he can’t quite work out where she’s going with this. The gathered interns and partners look equally as curious.“A job where you have to look after people? Act in their best interests?”“Yes,” Harvey nods.“Give them guidance. Advice?”Harvey wants to wince. “Yes,” he says and just how rusty is she because this is proving nothing to nobody.“Do you think it’s a coincidence that the day you gave up being a father you turned to becoming a lawyer?”Harvey struggles to keep any expression off his face because that one came from nowhere. There’s muttering around him and he refuses to look at the audience gathered.“Fatherhood and being a lawyer seem to have many crossover points,” Jessica muses. Harvey presses his lips together as his mind scrambles for an answer. “If you say so,” he answers in the end, keeping his tone casual.“Most people,” Jessica continues and Harvey watches her now, wary, “when they have a child put up for adoption walk away. Is it true that you got an amendment to the adoption?”He nods. “Yes.”“Is that standard?”“No. It’s…damn near impossible,” Harvey says. “Puts most adoptive families off in fact.”“When you asked for it, did you at first want custody to return to you should the family unit break up?”“Start high,” Harvey suggests and shifts to find an easier position to sit in. “It’s how negotiations work.”“Or should social services ever investigate the household. Or the parents be imprisoned. There was quite a list, wasn’t there?”“And I was talked down.”“And yet you still regained custody of that child. Correct?”Slowly, Harvey nods.“And, six years ago, you turned down the position of junior partner at this firm so that you could look after your child when your father died. Is that correct?”Harvey glares at her and Jessica stares back apparently unaffected. “Yes,” he says after a moment.“So climbing up the ladder, making lots of money, that doesn’t seem to have been your priority. You gave up a promotion, an impressive one to be with your child.”Harvey glares at her, furious.“You seem angry.”It’s not a question and he refuses to be baited.“Are you?”He shakes his head. “Bored. It’s irrelevant to the situation. Lots of people have a family. It doesn’t mean one thing or another at work.”“True,” Jessica concedes. “But you don’t share anything of your family at work. I’d imagine most of them would be surprised to know that you’ve been a single parent for the past thirteen years and then two years before that, before the adoption. Do you think they’d judge you for it?”“People make judgments when they know you have a kid. A managing partner once told me that I’d never manage to balance the two,” Harvey says and Jessica doesn’t react to his statement. “Is it more than that?” Jessica asks. “We’re here today because people question your moral fibre. Your judgement and what you’d make people do in your determination to win. You won’t let people see that you care, that you adore your son, that you care about the people you work for and the people you work with. Why?”Harvey sits and stares at her.“You’re not going to answer?” she prods. “Are you embarrassed?”“Nope,” he dismisses.“Afraid?”“No.”He thinks she’s about to push further, but Jessica just smiles sadly. “Do you think you’re a good father?”The honest answer to that is humiliating. Because Mike’s judgement is the only one that matters and right now, his answer to it is painfully clear. “Is anyone?” Harvey deflects.“You care about him though.”“He’s my kid,” Harvey grinds out.“And your son suffered a trauma, correct? His adoptive parents and grandmother were all killed in a car accident when he was eleven?” And Harvey knows there’s one or two people suddenly stirring in the room and he could fucking kill Jessica right now. “He was placed in foster care? Overheard conversations from lawyers and social services and about settlements, correct?”“Yes.”“So. Tell me. Could you do it?”He blinks in confusion.“Could you knowingly walk into court and attack a grieving family, suffering a loss from a car accident and blame the driver when it was the manufacturers fault? Could you bury evidence like that and then go home to your son knowing once he was in the same position and had to hear how his adoptive father was the one who was to blame for an accident.”Harvey draws in a long breath. “I could if it was a fair fight and I did. But if you tamper with evidence it isn’t a fair fight. What’s the point of even starting the battle if you’ve fixed the outcome?”“But you didn’t care? Because caring makes you-”“Weak,” he finishes for her. “You show them that you care and they walk all over you.”“Which is funny given the donation that you gave the family afterwards.”Harvey presses his lips together.“Did it keep you up at night? Imagining if that was your son? Listening to how his father had been drinking? Your son didn’t remember you, at the time he was just another fatherless child, alone and grieving and listening to people blame his hero for his own death. Your son and the man’s son would have been the same age at the time of the crash, correct?”Harvey glares.“You have your own moral code,” Jessica says softly. “Lines you won’t cross. And you weren’t weak the day that you demanded that I get an amendment to protect your child. And you weren’t weak when you handed over that money because despite the fact that you believed at the time that the man was responsible for crashing that car, you still couldn’t bear the idea of leaving someone to suffer the way your child suffered before you tracked him down and took back custody. You became a lawyer because you wanted to have the power to protect and provide and to have control. You didn’t want to win pointless battles and you certainly never had an interest in cheating. You believe that to win fairly is better than to win. And I have never seen anyone walk all over you.”Harvey says nothing as she sits down and Louis complains that there were no questions in her last speech.Xxx“What the hell was that?” he demanded, following her into her office.“They needed to believe that you were innocent,” Jessica pointed out calmly.“That was beyond-”She turns on him suddenly and pushes some papers into his chest. “It wasn’t. This came today. Part two of Tanner’s accusations.”Confused, Harvey opens the folder as Jessica moves away and scans through the contract. It’s for some sort of small business merger with the absorption of one company into another and the sale proceeds are all over the place and it looks like someone was off-loading a company to hide it from an investigation and there’s no real mention of tax.The names at the end are redacted but the signature dating for both sides of the merger are different which is all kinds of wrong and-His signature is at the bottom. His handwriting. His dates.“I didn’t sign this,” Harvey says, looking up at her.“I checked your calendar,” Jessica says, sitting on the edge of the desk. “It was the Chicago conference. You went with Louis.” She nods at the contract. “And that is beyond sloppy. There are seven spelling mistakes in it.”“Tanner?”She nods thoughtfully. “Perhaps. He’s using it though. It’d be strange if it was him. I’d hope he’d have higher expectations of your ability.”“This says I took fifty grand?” Harvey asks, sitting down at the table and reading through it again. “How cheap does he think I am?”“Daniel wants us to settle,” Jessica says, watching him. “And after what happened with Donna, you were going to be tempted. But this? If we show the partners this, we have them on side enough that they’ll listen all the way to the end. They’ll read this. And they know how arrogant you are. You’d never sign your name to this.”Harvey flicked through the contract again. “If he forged this, he’ll be disbarred.”“If,” Jessica warns. “But either way, he’s used it. He’s overplayed.”Harvey snorts. “Mike know that you’ve outed him?”“Mike is out of the office and he knew it was coming.”Maybe. Harvey looks out of the window and considers it. It’s not the first time this month that he’s regretted giving back Mike’s key. But its meant he hasn’t broken, kept his distance and been able to focus on this shit show.“You could phone,” Jessica offers as she pushes herself off the desk and heads for the door. “I’ll take this to the partners.”Harvey nods and then sighs.His son answers on the fifth ring. “Rachel told me about Donna,” Mike says immediately. “Is she okay?”He has no idea. “Did she tell you that most of the firm now knows you’re my son?”“Yeah.” Mike’s voice is quiet. “She said Jessica was rough. Are…are you okay?”Harvey rolls his eyes. “I’ll manage,” he dismisses. And then he hesitates and he hates it. “You’ve been busy with Frank?”There’s a long silence and then Mike says ‘yes’ quietly and Harvey closes his eyes because there is something going on here, but he asked, he told Mike that he couldn’t split his focus. Tanner is coming after his licence and Harvey can never figure out what it is Mike wants.“Kid?” he hears himself ask.There’s a sigh. “I’m fine. I…I’m sorting out my shit,” he says and there’s something mocking in his voice. “I’m good, Dad.”The word soothes something in Harvey and he lets out a breath. “We should get dinner.”“I…” Mike seems torn. “In a couple of weeks?”Huh. Harvey sits back and watches the sky for a moment, not sure what to make of the answer.“I’m not being a dick, Dad. I just…I’m…I get what you meant. Why you wanted me to…” Mike huffs sounding annoyed at himself. “To back off.”“I didn’t,” Harvey points out. “I said either stop the shit or back off.”There’s a pause. “That is not what you said,” Mike says sounding annoyed.Of course. Because they argue about everything. “I don’t lie to you like that,” Harvey points out.There’s silence and it’s annoying because in these moments when Mike’s face usually lets out some hidden emotion and Harvey can work out the next move. Or have a glimpse about what’s going on in his son’s head.“Oh.”Harvey tips his head back. Oh indeed. “You’re a fucking idiot sometimes,” he mutters into the phone.“Yeah,” Mike mumbles. “Dad?”“Yeah?”“I screwed something up. So I’m fixing it, right? No matter…can you try to remember that?”Harvey scowls at that and sits up properly. “What did you do?”He can feel the smile. “I’m twenty four. I’m fixing it. You’re fixing yours. I fixing mine, right?”“Mike-”“Dad…you told me once you’d show me how to get the whole world. You wouldn’t hand it to me. So…you know how everyone always looks surprised that I’m your kid. It’d be nice to actually have the chance to show that I am.”Harvey closes his eyes. He hates it. And he feels so ridiculously proud.“If you get in over your head-”“I know.”And Mike actually sounds confident about it which is new.“That’s my boy,” Harvey says softly and it’s a risk because the last time they were on the phone and he said it-“Yeah,” Mike says sounding nervous. “Let’s hope so, right?”Harvey looks over at the file that Jessica gave him. “Yeah,” he says, nodding. “Absolutely.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“This is a fucking mess,” Hunter murmurs as he flicks through the contract Harvey is meant to have signed. He flicks through the papers and then shakes his head and reaches for the beer in front of him.Harvey nods. “But, read between the lines and it screws both parties and lets the lawyer be paid. Which means it looks like I’ve tricked them.”“But this is Tanner, right?”Yeah. Harvey looks across the bar and then back at Hunter who is looking down at the documents as if offended. “It proves to the firm that he’s coming after me.”“If they believe that this is forged.”Harvey fixed him with a glare. “You don’t?”Hunter throws him a look of irritation. “Hardman could spin it. That’s all I’m saying,” he says and then looks at something over Harvey’s shoulder in polite askance.“Scram kid.”He knows that voice. Shifting, Harvey refuses to look around but nods at Hunter whose eyebrows rise in surprise. He stands, gathering the papers, but doesn’t look the slightest but happy about it.Charles Forstman takes his seat.The man is older now, but he looks pretty much the same. Money does that for you, Harvey figures and there’s the same arrogant ease to the man’s movements that he had seventeen years ago.“Charles,” Harvey greets. “I’d ask how you’ve been, but I just don’t give a shit.”Forstman nods and points a finger at him. “You know, I can see it. A bit. He doesn’t really look like you, but he has your expressions. That one of disdain.”Harvey feels something in him sink and if he could press pause on this and go find Mike right now, he would because he can’t quite work out where this is going. “What do you want?” he asks, sharpening his tone. “Because I actually have things to do and playing catch up with you is never gonna be on my list-”“Yeah. I bet you do. That contract, boy. It’s a real dilemma.”Dilemma?“How it a dilemma?” Harvey asks after a moment because he can’t get there and whatever game Fortsman wants to play, he needs to get up to speed as soon as possible.Forstman’s lips twitch up in a secret smile. “I’ve always been curious,” he says, making himself comfortable in the booth, spreading out. “You and your pride. It’s how you came to me in the first place. Your mother and her boyfriend could have given your brother that money. But it wasn’t love of family that meant you came to me. It was your refusal to be seen as weak or lacking.”Harvey snorts and shakes his head.“But Mike?” And Harvey feels himself go cold. “He genuinely wanted to help his mother. He said you wouldn’t help her. He had so few options left,” he says, voice dropping down to faux concern. “So. Was he right or wrong. Would the great Harvey Specter swallow his pride for his family, or not?”Harvey shakes his head slowly. “You’re full of shit.”And Forstman slides over one piece of paper. It’s a bank statement and Harvey glances at the name at the top and slides his gaze down the dates and purchases and-For one single day, Mike had a hundred thousand dollars in his account.Harvey stares at it. And then at the purchases as if it might clue him in to what was happening, and yet everything else in the statement seemed to track with what he’d expect of his son.“If you have gone near my kid, I will come for you,” Harvey says, standing.“I’m not the one coming for him. All that evidence you have against the person who signed that contract…you’re gonna have to choose, Harvey. Him or you.”Rage bubbles up within him and Harvey stares down at Forstman’s smug face before he turns and heads to the exit.“Harvey-” Hunter says, stepping out from the bar.Harvey just takes the contract from him. “Go home,” he snarls.XxxDonna yanks open the door when he doesn’t stop hammering on it. “What do you want, Harvey?” she demands. “I told you-”“Mike’s key,” he snaps, pushing in. “Now.”It’s obviously not what she was expecting and she folds her arms, nudging the door shut with her foot and the large sweater hanging off her in a way that on another day, he might find tempting. “I don’t-”He turns and faces her.She lifts her chin. “I don’t have one, Harvey. And you need to-”“Forstman met Mike.”Her eyes widen in horror. “How?” she whispers.“I don’t know,” Harvey grounds out. “Forstman gave him a hundred grand. While he was at Harvard…” he turns and looks around. “I gave him back his key, Donna. I need-” he breaks off when she moves towards a drawer and feels a crashing relief echo through him.“Does this have something to do with the other contract that Tanner brought against you?”Harvey watches her as she studies some keys and Jesus, how many does she have? “If he…” Harvey shakes his head. “How could he have done this?”“Harvey,” Donna says as she pushes a key into his hand and comes close. “You know he wouldn’t have done this if he hadn’t been pressured-”Harvey stares at the key in his hand and doesn’t say a word as he simply nods and turns away.XxxWhen he gets to Mike’s apartment, the kid isn’t there. Harvey turns on the lights and then looks around as if there is going to be a clue somewhere.In fact, fuck it.He goes through the shelves. The papers. Pulls folders out from under the sofa where Mike obviously doesn’t realise a hoover can go and there’s nothing useful. He stands in the mess that he’s made and then his eye catches the fridge magnet with papers.Curious, he walks to the fridge and pulls the letters out, flicking through.There was a summons yesterday.Slamming the papers down on the sideboard, Harvey bends over the counter, staring down at the stains upon it and he feels this burning fury racing through him. He wants to lash out, to hurt something-That Christmas. Mike had been a mess, drowning in pot and sobbing on Harvey in the shower. Quiet and miserable and murmuring about Laura’s job and debt.Harvey slams his hand on the counter and swears.A hundred grand. His kid sold him out for a hundred grand and-Wait.The contract said fifty. Which means that there’s even more to this. A key in the lock has Harvey turning and watching as Mike walks in and blinks at the light. His blue eyes are red-rimmed as if he’s tired or has been crying and he looks like he hasn’t been getting enough sleep as he looks around and then stares at Harvey in confusion. “You had a spare key?” he asks, closing the door behind him softly.“Donna,” Harvey answers and he hates how quickly his anger fades away. Or at least fades to a simmer.Mike doesn’t look surprised and walks over before pausing, seeming to suddenly take in the state of the apartment. “What the hell…” he murmurs.“I had a visitor today,” Harvey says. “Old business acquaintance of yours.”Mike’s eyes dart towards the mess again and he closes his eyes.“You.” It’s Harvey can say. And Mike says nothing and Harvey didn’t realise how much he was holding onto the vague hope that Forstman had been chewing shit earlier. “You hated me that much.”Mike’s gaze whips to his and he shakes his head. “I…It…” he shakes his head and looks away. “You were never part of it-”“How is that true?” Harvey yells. “You signed my name on a document that gets me disbarred at best-”“You were in Chicago,” Mike says and then firms his chin. “They’d never be able to tie you to it.”And something worse than anger crawls into Harvey because it’s not fury or rage or the knowledge that he’d half kill his son right now.No. It’s terror. “If you take responsibility for this, you are going to lose your licence. You are going to prison for fraud and-”Mike tightens his jaw. “That’s been true for years, Dad,” he says mockingly. “And you coming in here to shout changes fuck all. I told you. I’m dealing with it.”“Dealing with it?” Harvey asks in disbelief. “Dealing with it? You’re not dealing with it. You’re in bed with Charles Forstman and you are a fucking idiot-”“I am dealing with it,” Mike yells, turning and facing Harvey square on. “And you had no idea until Forstman came to you, so don’t act like you know more than me. In this, you don’t. We agreed. You go deal with Hardman and I’ll deal with this.”“You think I’m just gonna let you deal with this shitshow? You screwed up,” Harvey says, spreading his hands. “This isn’t a mess that you’re capable of cleaning up and you know it.”“Yeah well, it’s not one you can clear up either. You’re too late,” Mike snaps and there’s a bitter triumph in his voice. “So you go take care of your power struggle with Hardman because you can’t do a goddamned thing with this.”“What do you mean?” Harvey asks, stepping closer. “What did you do?”Mike stares at him and then looks away.“What did you do?” Harvey yells, pressing even closer.Mike meets his gaze. “I went to the bar.”No.“It’s under review.”“It?” Harvey demands. “Your licence. Your job. Everything that you’ve worked for?” he asks and he can feel the threatening tremor of a horror that could paralyse him. “You should have come to me-”“So you could accuse me of betraying you or so you could take the blame for something I did?”Harvey stares at his son. Just…stares.And then slowly, feeling like he’s aged a decade, makes his way to the sofa and sits. It feels like walking though treacle or a heavy silence and he doesn’t know what to do.“He gave you money?” Harvey asks the carpet. “He gave you a hundred thousand.”Mike makes an odd noise but doesn’t come any closer. “Is that what he said?”“He showed me your bank statement.” Harvey shakes his head and sits up. “How the hell did this happen? He came to you?”Mike’s jaw spasms and he looks away. “Mike-”“They suspended my licence while I'm under review,” Mike says quietly staring at a spot on the wall. “Until they’ve reviewed the case. Frank represented me. Advised me. This isn’t something that you need to interfere with or deal with-”Harvey stares at him. “Interfere with?” he asks in disbelief. “Interfere with? You are my son. You should have come to me-”“You had Hardman and Donna and Jessica and-”Harvey is up on his feet and Mike backs up briefly as Harvey cups his hands around his son’s face. “Mike-”“No,” the boy says and tries to pull away, but Harvey’s done this dance with the kid before and just holds on. “This…what I did in inexcusable,” Mike says and seems to stare a hole in Harvey’s tie in order to avoid making eye contact. “So you can’t…” Mike presses his lips together and tries again to break Harvey’s hold.“Tell me.”Mike looks up at him and Harvey tightens his grip because his son looks scared. Not of Harvey, but of something that Harvey might be thinking and he wants to pull Mike close and keep him from the world like he could do when the boy was eleven.“Please.”The word does it because Mike looks stunned and then crumples just a little. “I…” he leans in a little. “I went to Forstman. For a form of sponsorship.”“How did you even-”“Marcus said that Forstman had transferred money to him years ago.”That…bastard. And Harvey has no idea if he’s talking about Forstman or his fucking idiot of a brother.“He…” Mike squirms and Harvey lets him wriggle free even if he hovers close. “He hates you,” Mike adds, unnecessarily. “Wasn’t convinced by me…” he looks over at Harvey. “Dad…” Mike shakes his head. “I was an idiot, okay and-”Harvey just shakes his head. “The whole story,” he presses firmly. “Now.”“It’s done.”“I don’t give a shit,” Harvey snaps. “Because he did something. Something that you don’t want to tell me. So you are gonna sit down, tell me what it is and then I will deal with it. And with whatever stupid thing you’ve decided to tell the bar.”“The truth?” Mike asks doubtfully. “That before I was a trained lawyer, I was targeted by a corrupt business man who sought to get a lawyer in his pocket and I’ve refused to be coerced? Frank argued it well. So did I. Forstman won’t be able to touch me again. Either way. I called his bluff. I did what you would have done.”“You think I would have gone to the bar?”“He had a gun to my head and if I ducked, then it was pointed at you,” Mike snaps. “I did what you do. I took the gun away.”“And held it at your own head!”“Because I did it,” Mike suddenly shouts at him. “I fucking did it. I knew I was doing it when I signed. I made that decision in the moment. I found every piece of evidence that him or you could use to turn that contract back on you. And I did it knowing that the only way to do that was to make sure it landed on me. Because I did it,” he says, enunciating each word pointedly. “That’s how this works.”“Then why did you give it to Tanner?”“I didn’t,” Mike snaps. “He thinks I did.”What? But…“He called me,” Mike says, moving away and heading to the sofa. “Thought I’d sent it over. I didn’t have a copy of that contract. I tried but he didn’t… I was…I went to the police with Frank because I thought Tanner was gonna find out anyway and they sent me away. Someone must have told Forstman because the next thing I know, that contract is with Tanner and I know that I’ve got a countdown because Forstman would have wanted two things: either to hurt you or to destroy you.” Mike sits back. “So I went to the bar. You can’t jump on that bullet, Dad. And I’ve done the dirty work so you don’t have to create a whole case and then discover it’s me that you’re actually going against.”That…this…Christ, this goddamned kid.“You’re lying,” Harvey says and Mike just sighs. “Fine. But you aren’t telling me the full truth. How did he get you to sign?”“Laura was in debt. I needed money.”“And how did you go from offering a chance for him to sponsor you to you committing fraud?”Mike looks away. “He…I was…he gave me the money first. I realised that the first contract I’d signed, that I’d created, had been changed and there was a loophole. Plus, the wrong amount of money. When I went back, he had the other contract. I knew I could prove you hadn’t signed it and Laura already had the money so…” Mike shrugs.There is something… “Whatever you are hiding,” Harvey says, sitting on the coffee table opposite the kid, “Forstman knows. And he will use it. You keeping it quiet is just stupid.”Mike looks away. And he seems to be debating something. “It’s…stupid.”It isn’t. Harvey waits, trying to keep his movements small because his son is still that little boy that sometimes needs to be lulled in. “I…” Mike swallows. “I…Forstman called me a spoiled brat. Said he wanted to see that I had a work ethic. So…I worked in his bar. He’d call me over sometimes. I’d advise him. Stuff like that.”Harvey curls his hand.“I…when I looked at the sponsorship contract…it was…it was for thirty thousand.”“So you were twenty short?”Mike actually snorts and shakes his head. “Turns out Laura’s debt was for eighty-four thousand…” he seems to be caught up in some memory.“I saw your bank statement,” Harvey presses, watching his son carefully. “You got a hundred from Forstman.”Mike nods and his shoulders sink. “It’s so stupid,” he whispers and he looks so utterly defeated that Harvey wants to gather him close suddenly. But he forces himself to stay completely still. “I…there was a bonus. A twenty grand bonus.”“For?”Mike lifts his gaze to Harvey’s. “I can’t…I can’t stress enough, Dad. I was never…everything was consensual. And I had no idea but…” and that icy terror that he has never quite lost in this entire conversation suddenly seems to engulf him. “I got an entertainment bonus. For fucking his clients.”For seconds, all Harvey can hear is his own breathing.“I thought it was just sex at the bar. Bar-tenders are cool, right? They get sex. I didn’t…I didn’t realise which is why it’s so stupid. I didn’t even realise, Dad. I don’t know why…” Mike shrugs and then looks worried. “Dad?”An entertainment bonus.Because all of this. Fucking with Mike, getting in his kid’s head…all of this was entertaining to Forstman. And Mike…god. His son…Harvey knows his son. Knows that even a hint of the idea that he’s been paid for sex would prey on the kid’s mind.His son twisted himself up for years because of this. And it aches because Mike…Mike was scared to tell him because it meant either Harvey would hate him or be hurt protecting him and the fact that Mike didn’t seem to know which one it would be is painful enough but…All of this. All of it.Has been entertainment.“-wasn’t like dangerous or kinky or anything,” Mike is saying, looking worried. “Dad?”His son though…his son’s head has gone straight to prostitution and he kept it back because of that which means that is also what Mike has tortured himself about. And it enrages Harvey, but not quite as much as the idea that Forstman fucking with Mike’s life for the past few years has been entertaining for the bastard.“Older clients?” Harvey hears himself ask.Mike nods hesitantly and then tries to shrug it off. “I mean…you’d have been pushed to find anyone that much younger than me,” he tries to joke.“How many?”Mike slumps. “Does that really-”“How many?”His son glares at the ceiling. “Twenty-nine.”Twenty nine? “All different?”Mike nods, still glaring up. “Six hundred and fifteen dollars and fifty-two cents.”What? Yet even as he opens his mouth to query, his mind works it out.His son worked out how much he was worth.Harvey shakes his head and tilts Mike’s chin so that the kid is looking at him. “The bar are already reviewing?” he asks quietly.Mike nods.Harvey sighs. “I’d have done it,” he says quietly. “I’d have said I’d signed it.”Mike blinks and then smiles sadly as he shifts so that he’s sitting up straight and meeting Harvey’s gaze. “Thank you,” he says quietly and it’s as if something has finally settled in the boy. “But I still did it. You can’t protect me from me.”Harvey closes his eyes. And actually finds himself nodding in acceptance of that. “I…” he opens his eyes and shifts. “If I’d have known how much debt she was in, Mike, I’d have…” he trails off as suddenly he adds it up.Mike just sighs and moves to stand. “You want a drink?” he asks.Harvey nods, dimly aware of the boy moving away.Eight four grand. Mike’s twenty thousand entertainment bonus.Jesus.He could kill her. And it’s not even as if Laura would have known, but…Still. He could kill her.“You still haven’t spoken to her?” Harvey asks, moving to the sofa.Mike returns with the beers and hands one over. “I talked to her last weekend,” he says and sits down next to Harvey. “It didn’t go well.”Harvey watches him. “Why? I mean,” he amends when Mike looks at him in surprise. “Why did you go to talk to her?”“I remembered that everyone makes mistakes,” Mike admits slowly. “But…” he shakes his head. “I really don’t want to talk about it, Dad. Not tonight.”Okay. He can get on board with that. “When does Frank think the bar will come back with a decision?”“A week or two,” Mike says and slumps a little into the sofa. “I…I was with Jessica,” he confesses. “I had to tell her that…” he shrugs. “I told her that my licence had been suspended. She wasn’t pleased. I’m officially under Rachel’s supervisory talents.”Shit. “We have to drop the court-case,” Harvey murmurs.“But Tanner wants you to be disbarred,” Mike points out, sitting up suddenly as if panicked. “Dad, I just-”“Tanner must know by now that this is a crock of shit,” Harvey says. “He needs to back off, otherwise he could get investigated for using that contract. A court case though would pull all of this up and there’s no way that Forstman would let himself be dragged into that which means he has some sort of back-up.” He debates it for a moment. “But if we vote to drop the case then it starts momentum and Hardman can use it to persuade the board to vote Jessica out from her position as managing partner.”Mike winces. “Dad-”“Kid, it’s like number eleven on my priority list, right now,” Harvey says and shakes his head. “Have you seen Forstman since?”Mike nods. “I…I went to try and get the contract. Worked for him twice at the start of the month. Everything above board,” he adds when Harvey opens his mouth. “Then I went to Frank but otherwise…” Mike shrugs. “Forstman left me alone.”Yeah. And if Mike hadn’t have gone to the bar…well…Harvey can’t even imagine what he’d be doing right now. Killing Forstman maybe? Offering himself up to protect his kid? Screaming at Mike still?“He doesn’t know,” Harvey murmurs. “Forstman, I mean. He doesn’t know that you went to the bar?”“Doesn’t affect him. They don’t arrest or prosecute. They regulate us.” Mike looks thoughtful and then shakes his head. “And my confession was ignored which he knows about. I’d guess he’d think I’d have given up.” Mike hums a little and then takes a sip of his beer. “You’re taking this better than I’d have thought.”“I want to scream at you,” Harvey admits, shaking his head. “I want to kill you. And I want a time machine. Again. But…He wouldn’t have got to you, kid. Not if I’d…” he stares at the opposite wall. “You never react the way I think you will. Never. When Dad died…I thought you’d want attention and you just ran away.” He chews on his words for a moment and then feels something in him suddenly give in. “I turned down a partnership the day I came home to find you leaving.”Mike blinks. “I…” he sucks in a breath and seems to go very still. “Oh,” he whispers.“And then…do you know how long it’s been since I was in a fight where all my buttons got pushed. You…I gotta hand it to you, kid. When you go for someone, you go. And I…I came so close to hitting you. It scared the shit out of me. That I couldn’t control myself. That I couldn’t read you. That you didn’t seem to need me. So I just…I never thought it would take two years,” Harvey adds staring at the beer bottle. “But…when we met again…I needn’t have worried. You got in lucky hits that night and I was tired. But you seemed fine when I saw you. Good. And uninterested. So.” Harvey turned to his son who looked suddenly pale. “We always believe what we fear, right?” he asks, bitter suddenly. “You are the thing that I am most proud of Mike. But you have also been the hardest thing in my life to get right.”Mike swallows. And then closes his eyes. “It wasn’t you,” he mumbles. He opens his eyes suddenly determined. “You know, she’d tell most people she had three kids. She’d include the one that died at a few weeks, but not me.”Harvey shifts.“I kept waiting…I had it with you. I…I didn’t see you as my dad for ages and now…I don’t even think about James,” Mike admits slowly. “I mean…that sounds bad. Sometimes I do. But I hear Dad and I think you. She wasn’t a bad person or evil so why…why wouldn’t it happen…” Mike presses his lips together.“Mike-”“You were wrong you know,” Mike whispers. “When I saw her…they didn’t think I was yours.”What?It must read on his face because Mike nods. “Yeah,” he says, sounding scornful. “They realised the dates could work. That you were going places and could fund them with child support. They figured you’d be a distant Dad anyway and…” he lets out an angry laugh. “She didn’t want me. She didn’t want me because I wasn’t Kenneth’s. But you wanted me even though I was hers.”God he can feel that absolute fury racing through him. The fact that she’d told Mike this is…“She apologised,” Mike continues. “Said she could set up a payment plan. Give me rent. Like she was talking to an old neighbour. She doesn’t hate me or anything just…cordial friendship,” he says with a small disbelieving laugh. “My mother has the same amount of interest in me as you’d have for the guy you talk to when he makes your coffee. Polite interest.”He pulls the kid in and couldn’t give a shit that his son is twenty four and a grown man. Because… god.And yeah. He so fucked up. But if he had known this…He’d seen Laura as competition. As stealing his son. And she hadn’t wanted him?How hadn’t she wanted him? Because he was Harvey’s? Their son was brilliant. Clever. Witty. Cheeky. Happy and caring. Kind. Generous.How hadn’t she wanted to claim him as hers? The idea is beyond baffling to Harvey. How could she not want to be in his life?Mike’s crying. He can feel it against his throat and Harvey strokes his back like the boy is a child again. Or a baby. And suddenly he doubts the story that Laura gave, that she sat on the steps waiting for Harvey to pick Mike up. Thinks about how it took him four days to get to Mike when he was a baby after that DNA test was done and the state that the baby had been in by that point.How? How had Laura and Kenneth just stopped caring? There’s a sneaky, horribly uncomfortable thought blooming too. That Harvey as a child had chased his father’s attention because he’d felt he’d had to work for it while his mother had just always been there.He pushes it away because that might be one too many things to deal with. Ever.He pulls back, just a little.“I am so angry,” Harvey whispers, “because you and I are shit at communicating,” he says and Mike huffs out a wet laugh at that. “But as much as I hate what you have done, I am so goddamned proud of you for it.”Mike sighs. “You said it was stupid.”“It was. But you didn’t move or give in. You stood your ground.” Harvey rests his head on the blond hair. “But you and I kid…we are really gonna have to work towards standing side by side. When you get cleared-”“If,” Mike corrects, a little petulant.“When,” Harvey corrects because screw that. There are some favours he can call on. “When you are cleared, you and I need to stop trying to hide things from each other. Stop trying to compete.”Mike pulls back looking a little doubtful. “Thought you had Hunter now.”Harvey throws him an unimpressed look. “I’m not dumping him at the pound,” he mutters, “But you and me. Together? Properly?” He smiles. “Be interesting to see just how good we could be.”Mike smiles. It’s weak and wobbling, but it’s there. “If,” he says stubbornly. “And if we get rid of Hardman and find a way around the shit I’ve landed us in.”Harvey ruffles his hair. “When,” he promises.