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Fuck this. Katsuki slammed open the door to Kirishima’s apartment, not bothering to knock. He had a key anyway so what was the point? A voice that sounded suspiciously like Kaminari echoed in the back of his head, something utilizing the phrase “no homo.” Katsuki rolled his eyes. Agreeing to go to Kirishima’s christmas party was a mistake. But Kirishima had looked at him with those big, bea- eyes and he was helpless. The redhead really didn’t want to go alone and all his work friends had people they were bringing so what was Katsuki going to do. He was even going to ignore his self imposed rule of doing nice things for other people and his hatred of human interaction. Kirishima had a way of making him do that though.It was even more of a mistake when he realizes that plus one was actually “significant others only”. What he should have done was said tough luck, screw this, ask pikachu. Instead he shrugged and said something worse. “We could just, fucking, pretend I guess.”In the moment it had been worth it to see Kirishima’s eyes light up like a christmas tree, but now Katsuki was this close to actually wearing a tie for once just so he could strangle himself with it. A christmas party. Pretending to be Kirishima’s boyfriend. While he was attempting to ignore the fact that he was in love with Kirishima. Fucking ideal. Of course, Katsuki had known he was in love with Kirishima way before he did this. In fact, he probably fell in love with him three years ago during their senior year of college. He had an inferiority complex and some mental illnesses and a traumatic childhood but Katsuki wasn’t a fucking idiot. He hadn’t grown from the angry delinquent into someone with actual friends without some semblance of self awareness. His therapist would be proud. His therapist and Kirishima would be proud of him for even acknowledging his feelings for another person rather than just burying it deep down, ignoring it, and cutting Kirishima out. It wasn’t easy getting here, but he was here now. Katsuki Bakugou was in love, and he didn’t fucking die because of it. Katsuki really did think for a while there that he would die because of it, that the fire he was so used to burning others with would finally explode within him with the force of his love and he would be left a shell of a man who used to love Kirishima. Except, like most things involving Kirishima, loving him wasn’t anything Katsuki had expected. Because the fire simmered into a quiet thing that kept him warm at night. But it’d been hundreds of nights and Katsuki was sick of stoking it. So he was ignoring it. It was going fucking fantastic. Yeah, he could probably tell Kirishima about his feelings. Come clean, maybe a big gesture. And sure it might work out great. But risk facing Kirishima’s rejection? The look of pity on his face as he tells Katsuki that he’s just a friend? Fuck that. No amount of therapy would get him to a point where he willingly did that to himself. Absolutely not. Katsuki put all the turmoil and anxiety he was feeling into his hand as he opened the door. The door bounced on its hinges, causing Kirishima looked up expectantly as if that was the only way he’d ever expect Katsuki to make an entrance. Fucking idiot. Seeing Kirishima only solidified the fact that this was a mistake. He was wearing a dark red suit with a silver shirt underneath it, unbuttoned at the top. Katsuki blinked. The sliver of Kirishima’s dark brown skin was taunting him. So was the way it pulled tightly across the taller man’s shoulders. Katsuki blinked again. Fuck this. “Ready to go, dude?!”Katsuki rolled his eyes. “No fucking shit, I’m here because I’m not ready to go. Also if we’re gonna convince your coworkers we’re dating maybe you shouldn’t call me fucking dude.”Kirishima’s laughter filled the hallway as he locked his apartment door behind them. “But then you have to stop calling me stuff like idiot and shitty hair!”Katsuki grumbled. “I haven’t called you idiot at all this week!”, Katsuki knows this because he’s made a concerted effort not to because Kaminari told him it was “bad for flirting.”“And your hair isn’t shitty,” Katsuki paused, “today.”Kirishima beamed. “Awwww! I knew you cared!” he slung an arm around Katsuki’s shoulders. Katsuki let himself lean into the touch, just this once. “Thanks, babe!” Nevermind. Katsuki pushed away from Kirishima’s warmth and stalked towards the car. This was a mistake.Katsuki should have known that pretending to be Kirishima’s boyfriend was more than just a (fake) smile here and there or a casual handshake to his boss. Because Kirishima was Kirishima and that meant that he knew everyone. And loved everyone. And everyone loved him. Stupid friendly idiot. Katsuki’s heart hurt just thinking about all the love in the world that swirled around Kirishima. “Hey, Kirishima!” a woman with long black hair whose hand was ensconced in the hand of a shorter woman with a bob greeted them as soon as they got in the door. Kirishima slipped his own hand into Katsuki’s. Katsuki inhaled sharply. Hand holding was a totally normal boyfriend thing to do and Katsuki had no reason to be freaking out. Totally normal. Not freaking. Kirishima smiles at her. “Hi, Momo! Merry christmas! This is my boyfriend, Bakugou” Kirishima paused, “Katsuki. Bakugou Katsuki.”“Hi, Bakugou!” she gripped his hand in a firm handshake. Bakugou liked her, but then she kept talking.“We’ve heard so much about you! Kirishima is always just going on about you and your cooking and the things you two do together! This is my wife…”Katsuki nodded politely as she introduced him to her wife but he wasn’t listening. Kirishima talked about him? Kirishima fucking talked about him. No one thought it was strange that Kirishima brought him as his date because they thought they were already dating. Because Kirishima talked about him. What the fuck. Momo moved away, saying something about needing to check on Uraraka. Normally Katsuki didn’t care about stupid things like “etiquette” or “social expectations” but he really hopes he wasn’t too rude. For Kirishima’s sake. He can hear Kaminari laughing at him from here. Fucking asshole. Kirishima pulls him from his thoughts literally, tugging Katsuki’s hand as they walk towards the food, deeper into the party. Except they stop every five seconds along the way and Katsuki gets to see Kirishima smile. And laugh. And be universally loved. As if he needed to be reminded how fucking lovable Kirishima was. He was trying to forget that fact, actually. But instead of just being subjected to Kirishima’s warmth and light, he's faced at every turn with stuff about himself. Satou from accounting asks him about the trip he and Kirishima took to the Grand Canyon. Aoyama from HR tells him he’s so jealous of the Local Natives concert they went to. Kirishima talked about him. Katsuki had to talk to him about this, right? It meant fucking, Katsuki ran a hair frustrated hand through his hair, fucking something. Right? Kirishima was nestled into his side, arm draped casually around his waist like they were actually dating. Like it was that easy. Katsuki turned to him, ready to pull him aside and figure this shit out once and for all, except at the same time Momo called to them from across the room. Kirishima looked up excitedly, and Katsuki knew immediately that their discussion was tabled for another day. The light of the sun burned on Kirishima’s face whenever he interacted with his friends, and who was Katsuki to shade the world from that. So he closed his mouth and let Kirishima drag him over to these strangers to play nice. The things Katsuki did for him. Twenty more minutes of socializing and Katsuki was feeling the effects of it, fists clenching as he dug his fingernails into his palms. Socializing was never his strong point. That was Kirishima’s deal, friends and parties and popularity. Katsuki wasn’t even good at being nice before college, let alone being sociable for hours on end. He was gonna snap and tell Aoyama that his sparkly sweater was ugly if he didn’t get away. It was ugly, but Kirishima kept telling him that just because something was the truth didn’t mean he had to tell someone, even though Kaminari kept telling him that he definitely should all the time and videotape it when he did. Whatever. They’d moved positions, no longer pressed up against each other instead Kirishima’s hand was warm in his own. Katsuki had spent the better part of the conversation trying not to think about it. Except it was useful now, a means of silent communication between them. How coupley. Katsuki squeezed his hand once before letting go, tilting his head towards the bathroom to indicate his destination. Katsuki turned to go, prying his hand loose from Kirishima’s. Or at he attempted to, because Kirishima held on tight and was in the process of excusing himself from the conversation. Katsuki blinked. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. Countless parties where Kirishima left early just because Katsuki wanted to flashed through his head, but by the time he opened his mouth to tell Kirishima to stay he was already pulling them towards the men’s room. “You didn’t have to-” Katsuki started, as Kirishima pulled him through the door. Damn the bathrooms here were nice, there was a couch and everything. “I know, du-babe!”, Kirishima collapsed on one of the couches, “but you were making that face!” “Tch. What face, moron!?” Kirishima’s laughter echoed off the tiles. “Your ‘I’m gonna commit murder’ face!” “I don’t have a face like that!” Katsuki pushed Kirishima’s feet over so he could sit down, placing them back in his lap when he was settled.“It used to be like, your only face. But you’re way better now!” Kirishima paused, considering, “You just get overwhelmed by social interaction, that’s all!” Katsuki rolled his eyes. Him. Overwhelmed. Stupid.“But it’s okay! I wanted to get out of there too! Some peace and quiet, you know.” Katsuki gave him a flat look.“You’ve been talking the whole time we’ve been in here.”Kirishima laughed again.“Well! You know! Peace and quiet with you! Talking to you is different than talking to all of them!” Katsuki let himself smile, just a little bit. The fire in his chest reignited as Kirishima’s smile glowed brighter in the shitty corporate bathroom fluorescent light. Fuck. “Why the fuck does everyone know about me?” Kirishima seemed surprised by the sudden shift in conversation, but didn’t bother asking Katsuki what he meant. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.“Well,” Kirishima sat up, pulling his legs off of Katsuki’s lap, “I talk about you! Obviously! Like we do stuff together and then people ask what I did over the weekend! I guess!” Kirishima’s laughter filled the room again, except this time it was more than a little nervous. “Oh.” Katsuki couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed. Obviously it was just as friends. Totally normal. Duh. Katsuki focused on the tile on the ground in front of him. Just as friends was fine, he had been telling himself it was fine for weeks now. then why did it feel decidedly not fine?“Sorry!” Kirishima waved his hand in front of Katsuki’s face, mistaking his silence for anger or apprehension, “I’ll stop if you want! I didn’t mean to violate your privacy even though now it makes sen-” Katsuki cut him off.“Tch. Don’t be stupid. Talk about whatever you want to whoever.” Katsuki stood up, reaching out his hand for Kirishima’s and pulling him up. He shook his head.“Idiot.”Hours of socializing later, and Katsuki and Kirishima found themselves blissfully alone in a corner while Kirishima pointed out people, explaining all the office drama as Katsuki listened to about 50% of what he was saying, spending the other 50% of his energy watching Kirishima’s hands. The fire simmered in his chest. Kirishima was just explaining the maybe-but-probably-not love triangle between his bosses when Momo and Jirou walked over, hand in hand. “Kirishima!” Momo was already laughing as she opened her mouth to speak, both of the women’s eyes trained on the ceiling above them. Katsuki made the mistake of looking up, just as Momo said the dreaded word.“Mistletoe!” Katsuki blanched. Fuck. Fuck! Who puts fucking mistletoe in a corner like this? They didn’t plan for this! Why the fuck didn’t they plan for this? Kirishima was already talking, but all Katsuki had to do was glance at the two women and see whatever bullshit Kirishima was stuttering over wasn’t gonna work. “-and Katsuki doesn’t really do public displays of affection so-” “Fine,” Katsuki cuts Kirishima off tightly before forcing a smile onto his face, “I mean, don’t worry about it...babe.” Kirishima is looking at him with wide eyes. This was just to keep their cover. Right? Right. Katsuki had never failed at anything before and he wasn’t about to start with fucking failing at being a fake boyfriend. So fuck it. If a quick kiss is what it took so Kirishima didn’t look foolish and had a good memory of the night then so be it. That’s what Katsuki would do. Plus if they “Katsu- I - are you sure?” Katsuki tried to smile reassuringly as he nodded. He had no idea if he actually succeeded, but Kirishima rewarded him with a blinding smile in return. Okay. They were doing this. Kirishima leaned in slightly, wrapping his arms around Katsuki’s waist. Oh right. They were doing this and he should probably do something since it was his fucking idea. Katsuki knew most of the time his ideas were great, but it only took him five seconds to start second guessing this one. Shit. Katsuki leaned forward, gently pressing a palm to Kirishima’s face. Kirishima’s eyes fluttered shut and he leaned in imperceptibly, almost subconsciously. That left it up to Katsuki to move the rest of the way. There was no way he could do this without his feelings consuming him, without risking burning Kirishima in the process. But there was no way he couldn’t do this either. He was so close; his hand hot from where it’s pressed to the other man’s face. He’d seen the point of no return and had leapt over it. Katsuki leaned in, pressing his lips to Kirishima’s. Kirishima must not have been expecting it despite all evidence to the contrary because he gasped, parting his lips and leaning closer, tightening his fingers where they were pressed to Katsuki’s jacket at his hips. The minute Katsuki’s lips touched Kirishima’s though, he was lost. The fire ravaged him from within, and he was powerless. Katsuki deepened the kiss, but Kirishima did what he always did and took everything Katsuki was giving him, leaning in further and opening his mouth to Katsuki’s tongue. It was better than Katsuki could have ever imagined, and over as soon as it started. Because Katsuki pulled away.This was just a kiss for show. Katsuki slowly opened his eyes. This was all an illusion, a mask, and everything that Katsuki had been feeling wasn’t there for Kirishima. He was just going with the flow, as usual. And it was all fucked up now. He was a fucking idiot. Katsuki opened his eyes all the way. Kirishima’s face was lit up brighter than Katsuki had ever seen it before, eyes wide and full of possibility. At some point Momo and Jirou had walked away to give them privacy, not that it would have mattered because Kirishima’s glow took up Katsuki’s whole view right now. Except this was pretend, this was fake, and now Katsuki had burned himself to ash for nothing. Fuck. Katsuki pulled back, from the friendliness filling Kirishima’s eyes, from his warmth, from his own fucking idiocy. Boy, his therapist was gonna have a field day with this one. Except as always, Kirishima had more courage than him, more insight than him, and knew exactly what to say and do. “Bakugou,” Kirishima reached out for Katsuki’s hand, “Katsuki. That wasn’t pretend.” Kirishima inhaled deeply, gripping Katsuki’s hand like a lifeline. “That wasn’t pretend for me.” Kirishima was looking anywhere but at Katsuki. “Was it pretend for you?”Kirishima had always been braver than Katsuki, here he was putting it to use and reaching out. It was the least Katsuki could do; being honest with him. “No. I-” Katsuki was cut off as Kirishima pulled him into a second kiss before he could finish, smiling like an idiot. Katsuki could feel the smile on his lips. Katsuki smiled back into it. This was fine, they could talk later. Right now there was only this. Kirishima pulled back to catch his breath before Katsuki pulled him in, for a third kiss. The fire ignited again and again and again, everytime their lips touched. Katsuki could get used to this warmth.