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Elias knew what a nesting goalie looked like.Well, he mostly knew. It wasn't like they nested every year, so he hadn't seen it too often - or more than once, to be fair.Cam never nested very much in Carolina - the press claimed that he didn't feel comfortable enough to do it, or that he was out injured too often for his body to get into the right biological rhythms for it. Cam had always called them ignorant fucks and said that they failed to understand that goalies who were comfortable where they were didn't need to nest.The whole reason for nesting, after all, was to make a place for yourself on your team, assert your ownership of the crease. Veteran goalies who'd played with the same team for years rarely felt the urge to nest, unless the team experienced some sort of chronic dysfunction - and even Carolina's brand of dysfunction hadn't been enough to set Cam off.Elias wondered if he'd nested in Chicago.The point was, even if Elias never saw Cam nest in all the years they'd played together, he'd still seen Eddie Läck do it. It had been when he'd first joined the team in 2015, the stress of moving to a new city and learning a new team and something to do with Luongo that Elias hadn't wanted to touch with a ten foot pole.Eddie's nesting was easy, but that was really par for the course with Eddie. Eddie's version of nesting really did just involve making a nest and sitting in it. It had looked almost comfortable, a spare net that he'd dragged into the players' lounge, stuffed full of blankets and pillows and every jersey he set his eyes on. The whole thing was bracketed by his pads, and Cam's, when he could get his hands on them. Eddie just sat in the whole thing, the only visible part of him his helmet as he peered out at the room.It turned out that a lot of goalies went borderline nonverbal when they nested, and Eddie was no different. He mostly just whined and made grabby hands when people walked by because he wanted them to come sit with him for a while. They all took turns doing it, even Elias, and it really wasn't so bad. Granted, being packed under a bunch of blankets with your goaltender was a little disgustingly sweaty, but it was a better alternative to when Eddie's nesting first began and he tried to skate around the ice during practice, collecting up his teammates and doing his damnedest to fit them all in his net.They brought him tacos because he made happy sounds when they did, and when he refused to leave the arena they made sure someone stayed overnight with him so he wouldn't be sad. (There was a complicated selection system as to who had to stay overnight, based on important things like tenure, age, if you had kids at home, and also rookies have to take one for the team, Hanny.)Thankfully Eddie had the good grace to start nesting during a home stand, and so after three days of nesting and thankfully just one game of trainers holding him in his seat next to the bench to keep him from lunging onto the ice whenever the puck went past, Eddie was back to his regular self. Which, to be entirely honest, wasn't too different from how he behaved while he nested, except he was a lot chattier.He still hung off his teammates like a koala, but that was really just Eddie.That was the first and only time Elias had seen a goalie while they nested, seeing as Scottie was like, way too chill to need to nest. And given that it was really more of a quirk than a team-shattering issue, he didn't see why everyone on the Flames acted like they'd just been told the franchise was being moved to Alaska when one of the trainers broke the news that Ritter was probably going to start nesting soon."We're not trying to freak anyone out," he'd said immediately, putting his hands up as if to push back the sudden wave of horrified expressions. "Ritter's getting checked over by the doctor just to be sure, but his temperature's running a bit hot and he's showing some signs of heightened arousal-"There were more than a few snickers, and he really should have known better than to use that word."-and we just want to make sure everyone's prepared in the event that he does start nesting. You guys know the drill. Everything's normal until we say otherwise, give him his space, don't crowd him in the crease – all the things you should be doing anyway. You respect him and he'll respect you, and everyone will be fine."Elias didn't know why they'd even needed to have this conversation, but he understood even less why everyone around him was shifting around and muttering nervously like soldiers in a war film who were just told they were heading into battle."Respect his space, yeah," Nealer snorted derisively. "That worked with Pekka, if you kept enough distance. But Flower fucking chases."Fro shook his head with the eyes of someone who had seen too much. "I love Ondřej but he bites and the Jets always made me get him off the ice because he still bit me but not so much.""Miikka bit." Gio grimaced like he'd already resigned himself to his fate of a repeat performance. "He threw shit, too. Clocked Phaneuf right in the face with a stick once. Miikka threw it like a javelin, if he didn't have a helmet on he'd have had more than a black eye."Smitty laughed, and the whole room seemed to freeze in horror. Hanny nudged Elias with his elbow and made a quizzical face; Elias shrugged."That's rough," Smitty was saying. He was the only one who looked at ease. "I usually just glare at people and posture a lot. Louis Domingue used to lunge at guys that got too close to him. He was just doing it to scare them but nobody ever believed me, so I always had to be the one to calm him down because he wouldn't do it to me."He smiled loosely. "It's been a few years since I've been around another goalie while they're nesting, so this should be interesting."The rest of the guys did not look nearly so enthused."Can't one nesting goalie like...set off another?" Mony asked. "Like, don't your cycles sync up or something?"Matty did them all a favor and slapped him upside the head."Ow! Dude, what the fuck?""That's not how it works, dumbass," Matty hissed, like if he spoke too loud he'd jinx it and Smitty would immediately start nesting just to spite him."Okay, but like, why's everyone so freaked out?"And really, one of the best parts about being traded with Noah, other than having a built-in friend on his new team, was that he asked the possibly-dumb questions so that Elias didn't have to.Gio looked at him oddly. He wasn't the only one."You guys probably haven't seen a nesting goalie before," he said.Hanny scoffed, and Elias felt like he had that right, given what he'd gone through."Uh, no, I've seen one. I had to spend the night sleeping in a net with one to keep him company. It was hot as fuck and I sweated my balls off, and I had to keep trying to encourage him to leave the nest to like, drink some water and take a piss, but it wasn't this horror movie shit you guys are talking about."No less than three of their teammates made sounds not dissimilar to a cat choking up a hairball.Smitty looked stunned. "He let you sleep in the net?""It was Eddie Läck. He got lonely if you left him alone too long; all he wanted was someone to sit in his nest with him. I was the rookie so I had to stay overnight with him one night because he refused to leave the nest, and yeah, he made me sleep in the net and that's an experience I never want to repeat, I'll give you that. It's fucking hell on your back, no matter how many blankets you have."The way that their teammates were staring at Hanny was the same expression one would give to a toad that had an unexpected talent in tap dance."But he let you in the net," Smitty repeated, like this was somehow the most shocking part of it.The next thing he knew Elias heard himself saying, "He pushed everyone into the net. It took forever to get him off the ice the first day because he kept trying to fit the whole team in his net. He got all frustrated that every time he turned around someone had tried to leave.""He wanted you all in the net?" Elias hadn't known Smitty's voice got that high.After a moment, Gio shrugged. "It's Eddie, it wouldn't be too surprising if he did everything backwards."Noah was frowning now. He always did hate feeling out of the loop. "How's it backwards to want to bond with your team? Isn't that the whole point of why goalies nest in the first place?"The number of guys who laughed at that did nothing to alleviate Noah's irritation, and now even Elias was starting to feel a little pissed off.From the look on Gio's face he was clearly trying very hard to be diplomatic. "Uh, a little bit, yeah. But a lot of times it's more like..."He trailed off and looked at Smitty for explanation.Smitty sighed through his nose. "It's usually about asserting dominance. Forcing everyone to acknowledge your role on the team, making them make a spot for you. It's all instinctual, we have little to no control over ourselves, and for a lot of guys...sometimes those instincts to protect the net can get a little...aggressive.""Don't get near a nesting goalie is like Hockey 101," Nealer said. "You never know how they're going to react. They don't care who you are, when you're near their crease, you're near their crease, and they'll do whatever they can to get rid of you. Fuck, look at Fro, his best friend bit him because he was nesting.""Just a little, not too bad," Fro said, but the fact that he could roll up his sleeve and point out the visible white scars where Pavelec's canines had sunk in too deep on his forearm was more than a little freaky.The whole thing was more than a little freaky. Part of Elias was inclined to believe it was all just some sort of elaborate team-wide prank on him and Hanny, try to convince the new guys that nesting goalies are borderline feral monsters who want to rip your skin off, won't that be so funny?Except the guys weren't very good actors, and the training staff would never go along with a prank like that, and Ritter still wasn't back from seeing the doctor.Elias swallowed compulsively."Well. What does Ritter do when he nests?"And wasn't that the question of the hour. Nobody seemed to have an answer for that, seeing as Ritter evidently hadn't nested in the two years he'd been in the organization, and yet they all kept looking at each other like someone would come out with the answer if they just stared hard enough."What's going on?"Elias wasn't proud to say that he flinched when Ritter came into the room, but Johnny actually yelped, so he didn't feel so bad.Smitty was the first to recover, or maybe he'd been fine the whole time. Goalies always were weird like that."Hey man, how are you feeling?" He clapped Ritter on the shoulder. It looked particularly dad-like, or maybe it was just because he was one of the few guys on the team who could make a guy as big as Ritter look small."Good. What you guys doing?"Everyone was back to staring uncomfortably at each other, or suddenly becoming extremely interested in the floor.Elias would have joined them, but he was too busy trying to peer over at Ritter out of the corner of his eye. He didn't look any different. Maybe a little flushed, but they all looked that way after warming up – which is what they were supposed to be doing, before everyone had started freaking out. Otherwise he looked normal, smiling a little bemusedly as he surveyed his teammates.And then his eyes landed on Elias's, and his breath caught in his throat.Because that was...not what Ritter's eyes usually looked like.It only lasted a moment, so short that Elias would have thought he'd imagined it if it hadn't been so intense, so physically arresting that he'd wanted to take a step back to protect himself.There was something else behind Ritter's eyes, something foreign and wild, and for just a moment it had peered back at Elias.And then Ritter smiled, and everything was normal again."Oh, nesting," Ritter said, nodding gamely. "It's okay, boys, I probably will not eat you.""Probably?!" The boys couldn't solely blame Johnny for that yelp, considering it was at least three of them.Ritter winked and went over to his stall to put on his gear for practice, just as he had been before he got pulled aside by the training staff. Clearly he wasn't worried at all about what nesting would mean for the rest of them.Taking a deep breath, Elias forced himself to relax his shoulders and turn back to his own stall. Ritter was clearly in good spirits about the whole thing if he was teasing them about it, but that's how he addressed most things in life. He probably knew they were all overreacting about nothing and wanted to give them shit for it.This would be fine. Ritter would be a little weird for a few days, they'd have Smitty start in goal, and then it would all blow over.There was nothing to be worried about.He told himself that over and over throughout practice, trying to pretend that it didn't feel like someone's gaze was tracking his every movement.~~~It was easy to calm down when a few days went by with nothing happening. Things were stunningly normal, actually. They played in Edmonton and Ritter was able to start in net. He was maybe a little more amped up than normal, but that could also just be Ritter. He always was a passionate guy.And then they came in for practice the day after the game, and something in the air was...off.At first Elias thought he imagined it, that faint tension in the room, because everyone was acting normal. Guys were chirping Johnny for his shitty diet, Nealer was spending way too much time fixing his hair just to put a helmet on top of it. Elias was just going through his regular routine warming up on the bikes before they hit the ice for practice.He'd seen Ritter come in earlier, seen him change clothes and go into his stretches, and maybe he hadn't been as friendly as usual, hadn't said hello to as many people as he normally would, but who was Elias to judge? The day after a loss, he didn't always want to talk a whole lot either.Everything was going well until Elias came back into the dressing room just in time to see Ritter take a lunge at Mony.He wasn't even sure what he was seeing at first, wouldn't have put it together so fast if it wasn't for the inhuman snarl ripping from Ritter's throat that made Elias's hair stand on end.Ritter was always fast, but Elias had never seen someone move like that before, muscles curled tight before springing forward like a loosened coil. People were shouting, and Mony was just standing there with his eyes wide like he was still trying to process the situation too.Then Janny and Smitty were hauling Ritter back by his arms, careful to keep behind him because he was fucking growling and gnashing his teeth like he'd be biting if he could. Gio had wrenched Mony to the other side of the room, but that did nothing to get Ritter's stare off of him.And those eyes...that was what Elias had seen the other day, that flat, alien gaze, pupils blown wide. Absolutely zero recognition.Feral.Except this time, Ritter didn't blink it away and come back with a smile.This time, the foreign creature stayed, angry and agitated and looking like it would like nothing more than to rip someone apart for some unseen slight.And then, suddenly, Ritter's head tilted to the side and he breathed in, nostrils flaring, like he was trying to fucking scent the room, even though Elias was mostly sure that goalies didn't have some sort of superhuman sense of smell.But maybe they did, because Ritter sniffed a few more times, taking deep gulps of air, and his head snapped towards Elias lingering just inside the doorway and he growled.It was low and rough and fucking loud, a gravelly purr like the hum of an engine, and Elias swore he could feel it vibrating through his bones, startling a gasp from his mouth.He faltered back a step, and the growling cut out.The silent room was almost worse.Having Ritter's animal stare pinned unerringly on him was definitely worse.Janny and Smitty were exchanging glances and tensing, ready to pull Ritter back again if he lunged. But Ritter wasn't straining or pulling. He wasn't moving at all.He was just watching Elias watching him, and his eyes flashed a keen spark of something Elias couldn't name.Then Ritter stretched like he was coming out of a long nap, moving against the hands gripping him to lengthen his spine and crack his neck, and then he fucking winked at Elias and turned towards his stall.The other two let him go out of sheer surprise, but Smitty remained hovering over him as Ritter began to pull on his pads like nothing had happened."What the fuck?" Matty breathed, giving voice to what they were all thinking.Some of the guys slowly went back to their routines, casting nervous glances in Ritter's direction.Elias felt frozen in place, like his bones had turned to ice, or maybe melted out of him. All he could do was stare in Ritter's direction, even as Smitty blocked his view.Noah was at his side, trying to nudge him towards his own stall, but Elias didn't really come back to himself until Gio was standing in his face, close enough to block any view of the room behind him."Are you okay?" he asked, even though they all knew that Elias wasn't hurt. Ritter hadn't been anywhere near him. He had just...stared.And growled."Yeah." Words felt thick in his throat, and Elias swallowed around them."I'm just..."Gio's smile was grim, even as he squeezed Elias's shoulder. "It sounds like you guys had it easy with Läck, but now you've seen what most nesting goalies look like. Just...be careful. Singling someone out isn't usually a good thing. It doesn't mean he has anything against you in particular, but sometimes certain things accidentally set off their instincts...just watch your back, got it? And keep your distance."Elias nodded, because what else could he do? His brain felt foggy, like there was a jump in the tape as he tried to replay the past few minutes, and if he could just see that missing piece he would be able to make sense of the whole thing.Hanny shoved him over to his stall, and Elias functioned on pure routine as he pulled on his gear."That was scary," Johnny hissed. Elias didn't have to be looking at him to know he was casting furtive glances at Ritter.He would have agreed with Johnny, except his brain still hadn't decided exactly how he felt about the incident.The logical thing would be to be scared, and Elias was sure that he'd felt pretty fucking scared.But when he thought about being the subject of that stare, the way that Ritter zeroed in on him...that growl, it hadn't been like when he was going after Mony, it was..."C'mon boys, get your asses on the ice!" Coach called out.Whatever. Elias could worry about it later. Right now he had the sweet distraction of practice to take him away.Except it became quickly apparent that the team was now invoking the "until we say otherwise" clause of "everything's normal."For one, nobody wanted to be anywhere near Ritter, and the coaching staff quickly agreed with them.Ritter had skated straight for his net as soon as he'd gone out on the ice, and since then he'd absolutely refused to leave it. He'd spent a good long while scuffing up the crease just as he always did, and then he'd begun some sort of bizarre ritual of checking over the net, which he never did. It involved a lot of patting and fidgeting, and some alien chirping sounds that everyone could hear from across the ice.Oh, and he started the fucking terrifying snarling any time someone even thought about crossing the blue line into his zone.He was presently hunkered down in the crease, settled back into the net far enough that most of his body was in there. Prouter had thought it would be funny to send a puck his way, and Ritter had exploded out of the net in a flurry of growls, snatched up the puck in his glove and lobbed it back at him. If he hadn't been wearing his pads, Elias was sure it would have actually hit him.Coach had blown his whistle then, and everyone except for Ritter gathered around the bench."Okay," he said, casting a quick look in Ritter's direction. The low growls could be heard even from this far away. "Change of plans. David is clearly nesting right now, and we're all going to respect that this is something he needs to do. Give him space. I don't want anybody crossing the blue line, nobody shoot pucks in his direction on purpose."Here he shot a look at Prouter, who only shrugged."He wants to settle in there and get comfortable, that's what we're going to let him do. Just pretend that part of the ice doesn't exist and we'll all be fine. Got it?"They all nodded along, and began trying to work on the mechanics of limiting drills to two thirds of the ice.Elias was going to join them, when Coach called him back, along with Hanny."I want you two to be careful," he said, keeping his voice low. "I know the boys already told you, but other goalies aren't like Eddie when they nest. He's not going to want anyone near him like Eddie did, so you need to keep your distance this time, got it?"Elias just kept on nodding. It wasn't like he planned to do anything different, not when he could still hear Ritter growling.They skated over to the rest of the team, Hanny shaking his head the whole time. "Imagine trying to spend the night trapped in a net with that."Yeah. David Rittich was decidedly not Eddie Läck.Elias almost could have pretended that practice was normal, if infuriated roars didn't sound every time someone failed to retrieve a wayward puck before it crossed into the other end of the ice. Ritter would come out of his net a little bit now, but only to patrol his crease, lashing his stick restlessly against the ice like the flick of a cat's tail before they pounced. He was on the offense for some sort of threat, but that threat was his own team.It was fucking beyond him how this was supposed to help him feel more secure in his team, unless the security came from scaring the shit out of them until they complied with what he wanted.But Coach diligently dragged them all through practice, acting like there wasn't an infuriated Czech goaltender flinging unwanted pucks at them from the other end of the ice. He just kept right on critiquing their penalty kill, even when a puck bounced solidly off the top of Benny's helmet.Elias did his best not to look towards that side of the ice, because he didn't want to confirm his suspicions that Ritter was still staring at him. He would never be able to tell, of course, not at that distance with Ritter wearing his mask, but he swore that someone was watching him, and it wasn't just the coaching staff ready to correct his passing.Maybe he should have looked over there more often, because he didn't notice that Ritter was circling further and further away from his net.Elias wasn't even at the blue line. He'd been standing near center ice with Johnny and Mony, having to sit out a drill along with a few other guys because their limited space meant only so many groups could practice a drill at once.He'd actually forgotten that Ritter was there, maybe because the growling had finally stopped for a minute or two. He was watching Janny's line face off against Doc's when he was grabbed by the back of his jersey and yanked backwards, the air startling out of him in a yelp.His arms pinwheeled and he dropped his stick, expecting to hit the ice, but the grip on his jersey held fast. He tried to regain his balance, but his skates kept slipping against the ice as he was dragged away from his startled linemates.There was a rolling grumble that sounded almost pleased, and it ran down his spine like ice water.Ritter.He could see his teammates take notice, everyone crowding up against the blue line, but they froze there when Ritter snarled again.Elias went limp, some misplaced survival instinct telling him that he'd make for boring prey if he didn't fight back.Well. Unless Ritter tried to eat him, but he was fairly sure that goalie nesting didn't go that far.Ritter didn't care that he was dead weight at all, hauling him up for just a moment before hands were on Elias's chest, shoving him to the ice a little more gently than the move usually warranted.It all took a matter of seconds, and then Elias was surrounded by white netting on one side and a nesting goalie on the other.Oh God, he was in the fucking net.Ritter had his back to him, wasn't paying him any mind at all, even though Elias was crammed into a space that really wasn't meant to have a full-grown hockey player in it. He squirmed around, trying to sit upright, but froze when Ritter growled again.This close he could feel it crackling through the air, making Ritter's whole body move with it. Elias could hear voices, even if he couldn't see where they were coming from, so he had to assume Ritter was growling at their teammates."Lindy, you okay?" Coach's voiced called out.Elias had to steel himself before he answered, unsure of how Ritter would react to him talking. "Uh, yeah? I think so."He startled when Ritter's glove hand came back to pat blindly at Elias's legs. Perhaps it was meant to be comforting, but he was still growling. Elias pulled his legs in closer to his chest."Hey, Ritter," he heard Smitty say. His voice was pitched softer than normal, like when he was talking to his kids. "You want to give Lindy a bit more room to breathe?"The growling ratcheted up a notch, and Ritter's body jerked. There was a clatter of something smacking against the ice and a few shouts, and Elias could only surmise that he was trying to hit them with his stick.Ritter had spread himself wide as if to make himself seem impossibly larger, and he was doing a fantastic job of keeping Elias from seeing what was happening outside the net. But Ritter also couldn't keep Elias pinned in the net while also trying to chase off all of their teammates at once, and so slowly the boys started appearing to the sides of the net, still maintaining a distance, but close enough to see what was going on.In front of him, Ritter was freaking out, torn between trying to lash out to keep their teammates at bay and creeping further into the net. Well, if he was feeling cornered, Elias was feeling downright fucking claustrophobic.He turned his head to the side, trying to get some breathing room away from the heat coming off of Ritter's body in waves. He eyed the bottom of the net. Nets were fucking heavy, but running high on adrenaline and fear, it felt like it wouldn't be difficult to just to lift it up off its pegs, shove it forward and scramble out the back of it. In the confusion of trying to get out from under the net Ritter probably wouldn't be able to escape until Elias was already off the ice.He slipped one gloved hand towards the back of the net, getting ready to flip it forward. Off to the side of the net, Hammer was nodding encouragingly, having followed Elias's movements. Ritter wasn't even paying attention to how close Hammer had gotten to the net, too distracted by the rest of the guys, so Elias would have backup when he made his escape.Somewhere he couldn't see, Fro was saying something to Ritter in Czech that made the growling quiet down a bit. Elias's hand had just slipped under the back of the net when Ritter suddenly jerked around, trying to look over his shoulder at Elias.Elias slid his hand behind him as quickly as he could, hoping that Ritter couldn't see it through his mask at a bad angle. He didn't know what Ritter would do to him if he tried to escape – fuck, he didn't know what Ritter was trying to do with him, period. But if everyone else was keeping a distance from him, he didn't want to imagine what would happen to him being trapped up close.He thought about the teeth marks on Fro's arm and tried to hold back a shudder.Ritter's eyes were narrowed behind his mask. There was something so off about that stare, both vacant and intelligent at the same time. Elias didn't know what his own face was expressing, but whatever it was made Ritter's whole countenance soften. He reached out with his glove and touched the side of Elias's face. Elias did his damnedest not to move, not to breathe, but he startled when Ritter emitted some sort of low, bird-like croon."Ritter?" he stuttered breathlessly, afraid that speaking too loudly might set him off. Ritter grumbled a little, but it sounded different than the growling he'd been doing before. Less threatening, when combined with the way that Ritter was still trying to awkwardly cup Elias's face with his glove.Seeing as it didn't look like Ritter was about to maul him in the next few seconds, Elias decided to test his luck. "Do you think I could...maybe get up?"That was decidedly the wrong thing to say. Ritter's face fell into something unreadable, his growl wounded and angry. Elias flinched, pressing as far back as he could in the small space. Trying to keep his hand behind him, he gripped the bar at the bottom of the net.As soon as Ritter moved for him, he would flip the net and get the hell out of there.Except the growl abruptly cut out, and Ritter was back to that strange chirping croon, trying to pet over Elias's face with far too much padding on his hands."David," Coach called, and Ritter was clearly torn, trying to glare in Coach's direction while also doing what seemed suspiciously like a bizarre attempt at comforting Elias."David, you can stay in the net, but you need to let Elias go."That got Ritter's full attention, and he turned forward again, smashing his stick angrily against the ice and snarling.Hammer was gesturing wildly, and Elias took the signal for what it was and shoved the net up and forward with all of his strength.The net tipped, landing partially on top of Ritter, and Elias scrambled out under the bar before Ritter could push it back down. Ritter's snarl of outrage was bloodcurdling, but Elias couldn't afford to be scared into freezing again. Running on pure instinct and fear, he pushed himself to his feet and sprinted from the net. Hammer was right with him, shoving Elias forward as Ritter howled in anger and tried to pursue them.But Elias was always going to be faster than any goalie, even one amped up on berserker nesting impulses, and in a matter of seconds he was flinging himself over the boards and jogging down the tunnel.He didn't look back, but he could hear the noise that Ritter made. It was purely animal, baying with grief and fury.Elias slumped against a wall, finally letting himself close his eyes and fucking breathe.He could hear someone approaching him but didn't bother to look. If it was Ritter it would have been a whole lot louder. Anyone else, he didn't care."Hey man, are you okay? That was fucking intense."He cracked one eye open to see Mony. He was panting just as heavily as Elias was, and Elias had to wonder if everyone was being chased off the ice or if Ritter had just retreated to his net to sulk now.Words seemed a little beyond Elias at that point, but he nodded, swallowing heavily.They stood there together, watching as each of their teammates came trodding down the hall. Everyone looked varying levels of shell-shocked, but they all still stopped to pat Elias on the head like they were welcoming him back from war.He counted them off in his head one by one until the only ones missing were Smitty and the coaching staff.Gio trailed the rest of the group, and when he patted Elias on the head he lingered there to look him over."You're sure you're okay?"Elias took a deep breath and shrugged. "He didn't hurt me. I...I don't know what that was. It wasn't like when Eddie did it."When Eddie wanted someone to come sit with him he whined a lot until they let him pull them into his nest so he could hug them. And then when they wanted to get up, he'd bitch and moan a lot but he'd let them go, especially if they were going to bring back food or provide him with a replacement to cuddle.But this whatever-the-fuck that Ritter was doing, willing to attack the team to forcefully keep Elias with him – Elias, of all people.It didn't make any fucking sense.He guessed it showed on his face, or maybe it was just easy enough for Gio to follow his train of thought, because Gio grimaced and put a hand on his shoulder."No, he's not like Eddie. But he's not like Miikka either. For whatever reason, he's decided that you're part of his net that he has to protect.""Lucky me," Elias mumbled. He pulled off his glove so that he could rub at his eyes, suddenly exhausted.Gio squeezed his shoulder. "Hey, it'll be fine. After you left Ritter just went back to his net. He's having a sulk there now. Smitty and the coaches are going to try to coax him out, get him a net set up in a spare room so that he's got some privacy somewhere safe."It all sounded good, and was undoubtedly the best course of action, but some part of Elias wanted to wince all the same, thinking about what Gio had said. If Elias was somehow part of Ritter's whole mental equation for a good nest, would he be able to nest comfortably on his own? Or would he be like Eddie was, distraught and miserable without someone there to keep him company?Nesting had always seemed like such a lonely experience. It was born of loneliness, he'd thought. Everyone said nesting was about confirming your place on a team, but that had to mean you were worried about your place on the team to begin with.It must be awful, to be insecure enough that your body decided that the best way to make you feel better was to aggressively force yourself onto the team. And even as you "asserted yourself" or whatever Smitty had called it, you were pushing away the very team that you were trying to be a part of.And then you spent the whole thing alone, just you and your net, proving that it was yours to an empty room or vacant stands.He'd assumed that Eddie desired company because the very basis of nesting was wanting his team to show him that they wanted and valued his presence. It had seemed so strange, to imagine goalies violently rejecting their teammates when they really wanted their acceptance.Maybe they all wanted somebody to stay with them, to be by their side. Maybe they just hadn't been able to get through to the right people.Maybe they didn't think that their teammates would want to stay with them if not by force.Oh fuck, now he was feeling bad for Ritter.He thought about the bite marks on Fro's arm again – Fro, the person who Pavelec allegedly liked better than the rest of his team.It probably wasn't always the best to be a nesting goaltender's "favorite" person.Elias waved off any of Gio's further concerns and tried to proceed with his post-practice routine. If he hadn't been able to get through it on autopilot, he'd probably have never finished it. As it was, he got lost in thought in the shower and when he snapped back to himself, he had no clue how much time had passed. When he came out, the last few guys were just getting ready to leave the dressing room. Elias exchanged tired nods with them as they left, and then it was just him, toweling off his wet hair and pulling on his street clothes.He was in such a fog by the time he'd gotten himself dressed and ready to go that he hadn't once stopped to consider if anyone had ever managed to get Ritter off of the ice. He also wasn't considering exactly where they'd try to get Ritter set up.Elias was still following his routine, and his routine way to exit the building took him past a few trainers' rooms, and in this instance his routine took him straight into the path of the goalie he'd worked so hard to escape.It took his brain a few seconds to realize what he was seeing. Ritter appeared like a specter, still wearing full gear, skates and all, mask pushed on top of his head. With a start Elias realized that the coaching staff must have gotten him settled in one of the trainers' rooms – and Elias had just disturbed him.He didn't know what to expect, but after what happened earlier, he knew that Ritter was unpredictable at best. Just because he was the chosen favorite an hour ago didn't mean Ritter would be welcoming his presence now.When Ritter took a step closer, still watching him with that blank stare, Elias stepped back. Unthinkingly, he snatched up a spare stick leaning against the wall nearby and brandished it between them like he could somehow ward Ritter off.Ritter just kept staring him dead in the eyes, but Elias would swear that the corner of his mouth tilted up. Ritter came closer again, his eyes fixed on Elias's.Maintaining eye contact, he bared his teeth as if to snarl. Before Elias could even feel a flash of fear, Ritter slowly, deliberately bit down on the edge of the stick and held it between his teeth.He never once blinked or moved his eyes. Something hot fluttered down Elias's spine, being held in place by that gaze."Ritter?"There was no way he could mistake the noise Ritter made this time as anything other than the low, pleased growl that he only made for Elias. He moved slowly, telegraphing his movements as he removed his mouth from the stick and carefully plucked it from Elias's grip with his blocker hand. Elias felt like he'd entered a space outside of himself, watching as Ritter set the stick back against the wall where Elias had originally found it and came closer.They were chest to chest now, Ritter looming over him, impossibly large in full pads and skates when Elias wasn't similarly dressed. Ritter leaned in, bringing their faces together, and the logical part of Elias would have told him to worry about being bitten right about now if the logical part of Elias hadn't taken its leave of him some time ago."David?" Elias stuttered, because Coach seemed to think it might work better.Ritter crooned like he had in the net earlier, and he dragged his nose along the line of Elias's jaw, his helmet bumping up against Elias's cheek. It was clunky and awkward and Elias was still pretty sure that Ritter wouldn't be able to smell anything more meaningful than the soap he'd showered with, and he couldn't help giggling, just a little bit.It seemed to make Ritter happy, because he bumped his face against Elias's again, a bit more forcefully, like an affectionate cat who didn't know his size."Quit it," he laughed, pushing lightly at Ritter's mask. Ritter made that happy chirp again but complied. He put his blocker hand on Elias's waist and gently nudged him backwards.Elias followed his urging, taking a moment to realize that Ritter was trying to get him into the room that he himself had just exited.He was suddenly entirely sure that there was a net in there, and that Ritter wanted him to come sit in that net with him so that Ritter could "protect" him.But Ritter was moving slow, giving him a chance to protest, and Elias felt a lot less nervous about it this time."I'll go with you," he began, and he tried not to let the way that Ritter's blank face suddenly fucking lit up distract him. "Hold on, hold on. I'll go with you, but there are rules. If I want to go, you have to let me go. You can't grab me, or drag me anywhere, or keep me somewhere I don't want to be."After a moment he added, "And no biting."He wasn't sure how much Ritter had retained – he wasn't sure how much he even understood right now – but when Ritter playfully snapped his teeth at the end of Elias's nose, he was one hundred percent sure that he was being mocked.At least Ritter understood that part.Elias let himself be chivvied along into the room. Sure enough, there was a net set up in one of the corners. It was draped in towels and practice jerseys and a few throw blankets Elias recognized from the player lounge. The net itself was full of more of the same.It was eerily reminiscent of what Eddie used to do back in Carolina, and Elias felt the need to assert, "You know I'm not going to stay here overnight, right?"Ritter made a sad noise and nudged him towards the net again, but Elias dug his feet in."No, I'm serious. There's no damn way I'm spending the night there. Actually you shouldn't either, it's not good for you."He was pretty sure that Ritter actually rolled his eyes at him, but Elias couldn't be sure because he'd pulled the mask over his face again. But he didn't seem to be disagreeing, so Elias took it as a win and let himself be pushed towards the net.Elias sat in the middle of it, leaning back against a couch cushion clearly pilfered from the lounge. It was almost comical watching Ritter fidget around him, using his goalie stick to nudge things around in the nest he'd formed, picking up a practice jersey and carefully draping it over Elias's legs."Wow, thanks," Elias said. "You, uh, you think you want to try taking your skates off, bud? Gonna ruin them like this."This time Ritter pretty clearly dismissed him, continuing to pace about the room, moving things until they were all just so. Every few seconds he'd throw a glance back at his net to check if Elias was still there, and every time he saw him, his shoulders would relax just a bit.Elias sighed and pulled out his phone, starting to look through the messages he'd missed during practice. If this was really what Ritter needed to have a happy nesting time or whatever, he'd endure it for him.It wasn't really that bad. Maybe it was because Ritter wasn't nearly as edgy as he'd been on the ice, but it actually wasn't too weird. If you considered that goalies were quirky on a good day, having to sit in a net full of jerseys and linens for a while to appease your goaltender wasn't really so different."Hey man, what had you so upset on the ice earlier?" Elias asked. "When you were flipping out at the guys."He kept his gaze nominally on his phone, but slipped glances at Ritter over top of it. Ritter had slowed in his pacing, but was still tapping his stick rhythmically against the floor."Because like...it was pretty scary for a while. I didn't know what was going on, and everybody had all these stories about getting attacked by their goalies when they nested..."Elias knew enough not to expect an actual verbal response, so he wasn't sure what he was looking for. He wasn't expecting Ritter to come over and all but toss himself in the nest next to Elias, thankfully keeping his skates well away from the nest.Mildly fascinated, he watched as Ritter propped his stick against the wall and then removed his blocker and glove, setting them carefully at the perimeter of the nest. Then, slowly, he pulled his mask over his head and leaned up to tuck it on top of the net like some weird ornament.Finally getting a good look at him, Ritter was clearly flushed and damp with sweat, which Elias would have expected from anyone who'd been wearing full goalie gear for hours. Ritter's eyes were still off, pupils still way too large, but his face had warmed by degrees, no longer quite so alien."How long are you going to be doing this?" Elias asked.Ritter responded by grabbing him around the shoulders and pulling him in for a sideways hug, pressing his nose into the top of Elias's head. He was damp with sweat and definitely smelled like it too, and Elias had literally just showered."Oh. Geeze. Thanks."He couldn't be certain, but he was pretty sure that the shaking meant that Ritter was laughing at him.They stayed like that for a few hours. Every once in a while, Elias would insist that Ritter let him stand up to stretch his legs and move around. Ritter would grumble and bitch every time, but he actually moved when told. When Elias wanted to get food or a drink from the lounge, Ritter would be hovering right behind him the whole time, mask pulled down, brandishing his stick like someone was going to jump out and attack them at any moment.Elias just responded by flipping up his mask and forcing a bottle of Gatorade into his hands.It seemed to work well enough.But as the evening wore on, Elias was getting more and more antsy."Look, I told you I wasn't spending all night here," he repeated for what had to be the tenth time. Ritter wasn't growling like he had earlier, but he just stood there in front of Elias in his full gear again, staring. Every time Elias made to get up, Ritter would block him with his stick and try to nudge him back towards the net.Clearly their "conversation" earlier had only worked to a point."Dude. I'm serious. If you don't want to be stuck here, at least take the damn skates off and I'll drive you home, because you really shouldn't be driving right now. But I'm not staying here."He once again tried to stand up, just to have Ritter poke at him with his stick again. Elias let out his own growl of frustration and was on the verge of yelling when Ritter dropped to his knees in front of him and flipped up his mask all in one motion.Elias paused, surprised enough to give him a moment just to see where this was going.He was expecting more of the awkward patting, or maybe the sniffing again.He didn't plan on Ritter shucking off his glove and blocker, grabbing Elias's face in his hands, and pressing their lips together."Mmf!" Elias's noise of surprise was lost against Ritter's mouth. For someone who was pretty much out of his mind right now, Ritter's movements were slow and sure, taking advantage of Elias's surprise to slip his tongue into Elias's mouth. He kissed Elias deeply, desperately, a last-chance audition and a final request.When Ritter ended the kiss he bumped their foreheads together and stroked Elias's jaw with his thumbs, the bottom of his mask pressing against Elias's head. Elias couldn't even focus on it, caught in Ritter's gaze again.He swore it was different even now, changing by the moment. That wildness was there, but it was tempered with something heated and intelligent, desperate, wanting.Ritter crooned quietly and rubbed their noses together, and Elias couldn't leave him there."We can go to yours or mine," he said. "I won't leave you alone, but we still aren't staying here."Ritter just kept nuzzling against him, one hand petting over Elias's hair, but when Elias moved to stand up, this time Ritter let him."Come on. I'll let you take the gear with you, but you're not wearing it in the car. Skates stay here." Elias held a hand out to him. After eyeing it cautiously for a few seconds, Ritter took it.It looked like they had a deal.Actually convincing Ritter to shower and get changed was an ordeal, particularly because he was essentially refusing to do it unless Elias was present for all of it so that Ritter could keep an eye on him. Elias was no stranger to seeing his teammates naked and showering, but it was a little different when it was his goaltender who had recently become very possessive over him and had just decided to kiss him out of nowhere.Elias spent the whole time blushing very hard and resolutely keeping his back turned.He pretty much had to confiscate Ritter's gear to keep him from trying to put it back on, shoving it all in his gear bag before he'd finished toweling off. Ritter was sulky about it, but he pulled on a pair of sweats after some grumbling. He also apparently thought that a lack of net to keep Elias in meant that he had an obligation to be particularly handsy, because he spent most of the trip to Elias's car hanging off his shoulders or waist, and on at least one occasion Elias had to slap his hand away from his ass.It took a stupid amount of effort to get Ritter shoved in the passenger seat of his car, and even more to try to figure out what, exactly, he should do with him.They had the next day off, and a game the following day. Most goalies nested for three days, but there was some variability to it. It was possible that Ritter would be mostly back to normal by the game in two days, though there was no way they'd be able to put him on the ice.Or it was possible that Ritter would be one of those anomalous cases who nested for up to a week, like the rumors had always said about Carey Price.Elias chanced a glance in Ritter's direction. Ritter was still staring at him, unblinking, and it was just unnerving enough that Elias decided he wasn't going to look at him again until he had to."I guess we'll go to your place," he said slowly. It would be better for Ritter to be in a familiar environment, right? Making a nest had to be easier in your own space.Elias only vaguely knew where Ritter lived, and so he had to text Smitty for the address.Wtf you need to know that? He's at the rink he's safe, Smitty replied.
uhhh...long story short no

What do you mean no?
Elias just found it easier to take a picture of Ritter sitting next to him in the car. Ritter was still staring fixedly at him. Elias thought it expressed the situation fairly well.
WTF WHY IS HE IN A CAR WITH YOU?

bc im taking him home! he didnt want me to leave him. look ill explain later ok?
You fucking better, Smitty sent, but he followed it with Ritter's address.While he was at it, Elias decided to forward that address to Hanny, because he was mildly more responsible than Johnny and Mony.
fyi if nobody can find me im trapped or dead at ritters place
WTF? Hanny immediately replied. Elias didn't bother to respond, instead setting up his phone to take him to Ritter's address."You'd better not make me regret this," he muttered as he pulled out of his parking space.Ritter didn't say anything. He couldn't tell if that made things better or worse.~~~Elias wasn't sure what he'd expected from Ritter's apartment, but he probably should have foreseen the nest already set up in the living room. Ritter didn't have a net, but he did have spare goalie equipment mixed in with pillows and more blankets than Elias had really expected a single adult male to own.Well. Goalies probably did have to plan ahead.After having seen the nest, he did expect it when Ritter gently prodded his back."Of course, you have a perfectly good bed, why don't we just sit on the floor?" Elias grumbled.The weird chuffing sound that Ritter made was almost like he was laughing.He pressed Elias down into the nest and started fussing with the blankets, just like before. This time Elias just sighed and leaned back against the couch being used to structure the nest, closing his eyes."When this fucks up my back, I'm blaming you," he said.A pillow was wedged under his back a moment later, and a kiss was pressed to the top of his head.When he cracked an eye open, Ritter was sitting in front of him, his back facing Elias. His goalie mask had made a stunning reappearance, and he had his stick laid across his lap as if in preparation to ward off intruders.Elias poked at Ritter's hip with his toe; without looking, Ritter reached back and patted his foot.He snorted and closed his eyes again. He'd slept in worse situations before.~~~It was actually...not awful to spend the next day trapped at Ritter's. Not that he was literally trapped, because he was fairly sure Ritter would let him leave if he insisted on it, but the guilt of abandoning his goalie in his time of need was evidently a jail of its own.Not that Ritter made it too difficult. There wasn't much that Elias had planned to do on his day off that he couldn't do at Ritter's. He watched Netflix and messed around on his phone and called his parents. Ritter did some weird ritualistic patrol of his apartment every twenty to thirty minutes (in helmet, blocker and glove, but thankfully without the pads), peeking around the curtains and checking the lock on the door. At the end of each lap he'd come back and check on Elias, prodding different parts of the nest with his stick like its structural integrity might have somehow changed in the last few minutes.For a guy who'd been trying to attack his teammates yesterday and was presently fairly paranoid, Ritter was actually almost...sweet.Cooking was outside of his present abilities, which really didn't shock Elias at all, but Ritter was doing his best to provide for Elias with boxes of saltines and bags of baby carrots and all of the purple Gatorade he could ask for.He also kept up with the kissing thing, which Elias really had no way to address. As far as he recalled, Eddie had been cuddly when he nested, but hadn't been kissing everyone. And Ritter certainly hadn't acted like he wanted to be kissing the rest of their teammates, seeing as the last time he'd seen them, he'd been gnashing his teeth and threatening to beat them with his stick.But he kept kissing Elias's forehead, his cheek. He kissed Elias on the lips if he thought he was complaining too much, and it was honestly pretty fucking great, enough so that Elias didn't even mind that much that he was clearly being kissed to shut him up.It still didn't make a lot of sense why Ritter would start doing this now, seeing as he'd pretty much never given Elias a second glance before. They weren't not friends, but they weren't any closer than any other teammates. Elias was fairly sure they'd never spent time together without other teammates around.Which begged the question of if this was something that was only happening because Ritter's weird nesting brain had decided that kissing Elias was a way to convince him to stick around. And the reason why he'd singled out Elias in particular to be his nesting buddy or whatever was still a mystery.Ritter was less than forthcoming with this information, of course, but it didn't stop Elias from asking. He got used to throwing ideas out there and having Ritter ignore him, or just blink at him uncomprehendingly.Smitty said that they didn't usually remember a whole lot from their nesting period, when Elias had finally called him to explain what happened."It's like a whole different part of your brain is running," he said, "Your instincts are calling the shots. When you come back to yourself, everything else is just as faded as the instincts. You have...impressions of what happened, but the specifics are foggy.""So he doesn't know what he's doing," Elias said slowly.He wasn't sure how to interpret the noise that Smitty made. "He knows what he's doing, but the part of him that's aware of what he's doing isn't the part of him that you're used to dealing with. If that makes sense."It did and it didn't, but all of it added up to Ritter probably not really wanting a...a whatever-this-was with Elias.Which shouldn't have been an issue, because up until a day ago Elias hadn't thought Ritter was into guys and hadn't even seen him as a distant possibility.But now that he'd had the absent kisses and the stupid blanket nests and the dumb noises, it felt like it would be sad to lose them.And that was fucking stupid, because those things weren't Ritter anyway. They were Nesting Ritter, and Nesting Ritter would be going away in the next day or two, possibly never to return.Smitty said something about instinctual behavior not contradicting your true intentions but amplifying them, but Elias had tuned him out by that point.Basically, he had no way of predicting what was going to happen when Ritter came back to himself, but he could guess that things were probably going to go back to normal.Which wasn't a bad thing. Elias could definitely deal with normal.It also just kind of sucked, because now he'd gotten attached to Ritter in a way that you weren't supposed to be attached to your goalie.Well, whatever. There was nothing more he could do about it.That's what he repeated to himself that night when Ritter tried to fucking tuck him in with a kiss and a Czech Extraliga jersey."Another day, right bud?" he asked. "Then we'll be back to normal?"Ritter stroked his fingers over the scruff on Elias's jaw and made that weird crooning noise again. The he stood up and tapped Elias on the top of the head with his goalie stick.He figured that was probably the best answer he was going to get.~~~For some reason, Elias actually thought that this new, less-aggressive Ritter was going to last through morning skate the next day.He was really fucking wrong, which became evident as soon as they pulled in at the arena.Ritter was already on edge, his growling becoming a steady background noise as he fidgeted and reached for the stick that Elias had once again confiscated in his gear bag. He kept looking around them, constantly scanning for new threats, and it didn't take a genius to figure that he was trying to steer Elias back towards the nest they'd left here."Not happening," Elias said, moving in the direction of the dressing room despite all of Ritter's grumbling and prodding. "I don't care what you do, but I'm going to skate."The sound Ritter made was comically wounded. That was probably the last comical thing that happened.Elias thought that he was pretty used to Ritter's noises by now, but it took him far too long to realize that he wasn't used to Ritter's silence. Ritter was always making noise, even if it was just quiet, wordless mumbles to himself.When they walked into the dressing room, Ritter went silent. That was the first warning sign.The second was when he froze in the middle of the room, watching as Elias went to his own stall but not taking a single step towards his own.The third was when Mony clapped a hand on Elias's shoulder and said, "Hey man, you made it! Hanny told us you were going to die!"He should have remembered that Ritter attacking Mony was what had started this whole mess.When Ritter took a run at Mony, the only saving grace was that he didn't have a stick easily accessible to beat him with.It was a small comfort, seeing as the way he bared his teeth seemed to indicate that he was more than comfortable with biting."What the fuck!" Mony caught Ritter by the shoulders and shoved him back. Ritter's hands were curled like claws and he raged at Mony like he wanted to gauge his eyes out. Guys were shouting, and more than one were trying to pull Ritter back, but it was like a switch had been flipped.There was absolutely nothing in his eyes.Elias knew he'd been the one to start this, however inadvertently, and he knew it was his job to intervene. After how docile Ritter had been with him for the past twenty-four hours, he knew he'd probably be their best chance of calming him down."Ritter! Hey, man – David, hey!" He shoved his way between Mony and Ritter, trying to shield Mony with his body while Matty and Fro tried to hold Ritter back."David, calm the fuck down, the fuck are you-"Elias had known that Ritter was lost in his rage – he'd seen his eyes, the way that he was lashing out indiscriminately. It was probably frustration in the end, the same way an overtired toddler started to tantrum. He needed to be in his nest, calm and private, and Elias had insisted on dragging him around town because he didn't want Ritter to be alone.He knew the risks he was taking.The hot brush of pain over his cheekbone didn't even register at first, even as he was raising a hand to press over it. When it began to sting at the contact he hissed, "Ah, fuck."His fingers came away red.When he looked up, Ritter was shaking – visibly, physically trembling, and making these quiet, soft whining noises, sounding increasingly distressed. He reached out a hand to touch Elias's face, but when Elias involuntarily flinched away from the touch, he cringed."Oh, hey, look, no, it was an accident, we both know that. I know you didn't mean to..." Elias could feel the blood dripping down his cheek, and tried to surreptitiously locate a mostly-clean towel to mop it up.He was sure it wasn't that bad – it really didn't even hurt that much – but then Coach walked in and said, "What the fuck happened here?"And Ritter bolted.Elias knew exactly where he was going – the only place that he would go right about now was to his nest – but that didn't make him feel any better. He'd have followed, but his teammates were holding him back, telling him to let one of the trainers clean him up first."You don't want to freak him out any more if you show up still all bloody," Nealer had said, like he was suddenly the reasonable one here.In the end it really wasn't worth all the freaked out looks everyone was giving him. Ritter's nails – which Elias knew for a fact weren't very long at all – had left three shallow cuts across Elias's right cheek. Once it was cleaned up and a few butterfly bandages were applied, it didn't look like much more than a particularly large cat scratch. Elias had plenty of worse injuries to his face actually playing hockey.Not that anyone listened to him when he tried to tell them that."I don't know what you've been doing with him, and I don't care," Coach said. "From my point of view, Ritter hurt you, and he tried to hurt Mony. You're both blacklisted, stay away from him. You already should have known better after practice the other day!""But he's comfortable with me!"Elias's protests fell on deaf ears. As Coach put it, "If he was so comfortable with you, he wouldn't have tried to claw your eye out."The front office issued a new rule that nobody other than training staff or other goalies were allowed to approach Ritter while he nested, and never alone."It's for everyone's safety," the party line went, "We want David to be comfortable, and right now what's comfortable for him is to be away from the rest of the team."Elias knew for a fact that it was utter bullshit, but nobody cared what the guy who'd spent the last day and half with the nesting goalie had to say.He could barely keep focused on the drills during morning skate, and it showed. His passes were sloppy, his reactions delayed. But he couldn't stop himself, not when he kept thinking about Ritter tucked in his nest, wondering if he was upset, or lonely, or blaming himself for what happened to Elias.Wondering if Ritter even remembered what happened, or cared. He could have just latched onto Elias because Elias was convenient.He wanted to test those theories, but it had been decided that a staff member had to be on hands at all times to make sure that nobody entered the room where Ritter was nesting to "disturb" him. Gillies had already been called up from Stockton as soon as they knew that Ritter had started nesting, so according to the training staff there was no reason to disturb Ritter for anything hockey-related.Ritter was already in the midst of his third nesting day and probably wouldn't be at it for much longer, but it still made something in Elias's chest sink, imagining what he must be going through.Nobody seemed to want to address that elephant in the room, or maybe they just didn't want to look at the bandages on Elias's cheek and know that their friendly, happy goaltender had caused it. Smitty was the only one with the balls to approach Elias about it."He's got less than a day," he said, giving voice to Elias's thoughts, "He might be a little distressed now, but he'll be fine by morning."Elias didn't hear the soothing tone or placating words. He only latched onto one thing."He's distressed?"Smitty's smile faltered."He'll be okay. I promise you, he's a tough guy, he'll be alright."He patted Elias's knee and went back to his own stall.Elias couldn't get those words out of his head for the rest of the day.~~~He played like shit that night, but that was okay, because so did everyone else. A 2-0 loss to the Red Wings that they would all like to erase from memory sooner rather than later.On a normal day, Elias would be blaming himself for doing nothing to contribute, but today he was too busy blaming himself for making his goalie miserable.One of the assistants from the equipment team had been stationed outside of the door to what Elias had come to think of as Ritter's nesting room. His job was ostensibly to steer press away from the area, but in practicality it was to keep the other players out – maybe especially Elias."He's settled in okay," he assured Elias, "They left him some food and he seems to be eating okay. I think he was asleep the last time they checked. He'll probably be back to himself by morning."He smiled, like any of those things were what Elias wanted to hear when all he wanted to was to see Ritter with his own two eyes.But there was nothing he could do, not without getting his ass in a bigger pile of trouble than he was already potentially in, and so Elias gritted his teeth and went to his car and tried to ignore how the bandages on his face pulled painfully.It shouldn't have felt so weird to be getting into his car without Ritter there, but Elias still drove home feeling like something was missing.~~~They had practice again the next morning, optional skate with a nice long tape session to review all of their fuck-ups from the night before in hopes that they could correct them before tomorrow night's game.Elias chose not to skate, instead spending a good chunk of the morning having the training staff put him through his paces in the weight room until he still felt like shit, but shit that was being mildly productive."Hey man, are you okay?" Johnny hissed to him as everyone was settling in for tape review. "You've seemed a little weird today."At this point it didn't take a pair of functioning eyes to see that Elias was feeling "weird" today, nor was there any question as to why Elias felt that way, but he appreciated Johnny's poorly-timed attempt at subtlety."I'll be fine," he said, because it felt more truthful than saying that he was fine now.The last of the guys were filing in, looks of resigned dread already settled into their eyes, when Ritter slipped in just as the door was closing.He looked exhausted, dark bags plainly visible under his eyes, and he was walking as if hunched in on himself, trying to avoid notice.Suddenly, he was the only thing that Elias could notice."Is Ritter done nesting?" he hissed.Johnny, bless him, didn't have the tact to realize that indulging Elias's newfound fixation on Ritter probably wasn't what Coach would have appreciated. And that was why Elias loved him."Oh, yeah. I think he's been getting cleared by the medical staff. I guess he woke up this morning feeling pretty much back to normal? It's so freaky how they can just do that. I can't imagine just, like, losing it for a few days."Elias hummed, clearly not giving Johnny his full attention as he looked over at Ritter, trying to catch his eye.Ritter didn't look up once, taking a seat in the back and crossing his arms over his chest.It was agonizing to sit through a special extended edition of their regular video review sessions, especially when Elias knew that he really needed to be paying attention and that, at the same time, there was absolutely zero chance that he as going to be able to pay attention.He bolted for Ritter as soon as they were dismissed, ignoring Johnny's look of surprise, because he was sure Johnny would be the only one surprised by what he was doing."Hey, how are you?" he asked breathlessly. He didn't fail to notice that he'd essentially had to step in front of Ritter to keep him from trying to flee.Ritter wouldn't meet his eyes, or really any part of his face above his chin."I'm fine. Tired. I should go."Elias had prepared himself for a response like that, and it was the only thing that kept him from wilting on the spot."Look, can we talk?"He hadn't, on the other hand, quite prepared himself for the way that Ritter winced. For a quick moment, so quick that Elias wouldn't have noticed it if he wasn't in the newfound habit of looking at Ritter's eyes, Ritter glanced at Elias's face and then flicked his gaze away.It didn't take a genius to figure out what he didn't want to look at. Knowing what was probably about to come, Elias put his hand on Ritter's forearm, light enough that it could be shaken off."Please?"He didn't know if it was the touch or the plea that did it, but Ritter swallowed visibly and nodded.Elias didn't even realize where he was leading them until Ritter made a soft noise of surprise."Oh." Elias grimaced, a little chagrinned as he looked at the door to Ritter's nesting room. "Would it be too weird to do it here?"He immediately wished he'd phrased that differently, but part of him was oddly satisfied with the way that Ritter's face was flushing."This is fine," Ritter mumbled, but he stopped as soon as he got inside the door, like he didn't want to get any closer to the nest.The nest itself was in a state of disarray. It looked like somebody had already begun dismantling it, starting with collecting up the jerseys, probably to be laundered. The spare goalie equipment had been sorted out and set against one wall. The nest now consisted of a mess of pillows and blankets thrown over the spare net, not nearly as well-arranged as they'd been when Elias had last seen them.He had to wonder if the nest had been torn up like this before or after Ritter finished nesting."So, you want to talk?" Ritter mumbled. Elias wasn't sure he'd ever seen him look so uncomfortable before. There was always something so confident about him that was abruptly missing."Uh, yeah, I think we should. Given..." Elias waved his hand around. "What happened."Ritter was still resolutely avoiding his eyes, and Elias could only put up with that for so long."You could at least look at me. You were doing a lot more than just looking before."And that wasn't totally fair, because it gave an implication that more happened than it really did, and he knew that Ritter's memory probably wasn't the best. Ritter's cheeks pinked up all over again, but Elias couldn't be sure what conclusions he'd been making."I know," Ritter mumbled, his eyes flicking back and forth over Elias's face. He winced as his gaze finally settled on his cheek."I hurt you."Oh, for fuck's sake."I'm fine." Elias held up a hand to forestall any protests. "Seriously, I'm fine, it's barely a scratch. Everyone overreacted. You weren't even aiming for me."He paused, and then added, "Why'd you hate Mony so much anyway?"Ritter looked away again, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't hate Mony. I don't hate anyone. I just..."He shrugged helplessly. "It felt like I need him to back off, you know?"Maybe a few days ago Elias wouldn't have known, but right now, he felt like he kind of got it."And me?"He wanted to elaborate – why me, what was special about me, why did you want me around, did you mean how you acted with me – but Ritter seemed to hear him clearly all the same."You're..." He kept looking away, eyes never settling in one place, until Elias took a page from his book and cupped Ritter's face in his hands, forcing him to make eye contact. And Ritter let himself be moved, hands loosely cupped around Elias's wrists – not removing them, just...there."You seem like a good nest mate," Ritter said. He did that damnable one-shouldered shrug again, and Elias would have dropped his hands if Ritter wasn't holding his arms now, slowly running one thumb over the pulse point on his wrist.“So it was random chance, then." Elias couldn't phrase it as a question, not when the words were suddenly so bitter in his mouth.Ritter frowned, still unconsciously massaging his wrist."No? How would it- I would not..." He trailed into a small growl of frustration, and it was so familiar that Elias couldn't help a small smile."Not used to using your words?"Ritter's smile was helpless and relieved. "Growling is much easier.""I'm sure. You did a lot of it." Elias didn't know where this was going, but it felt easy, and flirtatious, and he didn't want to stop."You understood it fine. Not everyone does. You are..." He huffed, struggling to find the words in their shared language.Finally, Ritter met Elias's eyes again and shrugged a third time. "Instincts tell me you are a good nest mate. Instincts are never wrong. But, instincts are me, so if instincts say you are a good nest mate..."He eyed Elias slowly, watching him carefully as if willing him to put it together.And, for once, he kind of felt like he got it."If your instincts say it, then they're probably just projecting what the rest of you was already thinking." When Ritter nodded, he said, "So that means..."Elias watched as Ritter slowly shifted his hand so that it was cupping his cheek, delicately running his thumb over the bandages."My instincts let me in on little secret that I like you. And I do stupid things because of it. Like hurting my teammates."It took a moment to compute that one. "You were jealous of Mony?"He would have laughed if Ritter didn't look so embarrassed. "I just remember being mad. Like I say, stupid things."Ritter's hand really was warm on his face, and Elias had one more chance if he wanted to feel that again any time soon."And kissing me?"If he'd thought Ritter was blushing before, it had nothing on how red he turned now."Instincts say I should kiss you," he mumbled, glancing down. "A lot. To make you happy."Just for a second, his eyes flicked up to Elias's."Did it work?"He looked so nervous, trying so damn hard to be smooth after three days of his body dragging him through hell, and Elias couldn't help the smirk he could feel curling the edges of his mouth."I don't know, do you want to try again and find out?"Ritter's eyes lit up, and Elias swore in that moment as Ritter brought their faces closer together, slowly obscuring his view, that he saw something flash in Ritter's eyes. Something different, separate, a little wild and untamed, but this time wholly familiarElias wasn't scared of those eyes anymore.He tightened his grip on Ritter's face and pulled him down the rest of the way until their lips met.And when they kissed, it was pure instinct.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Elias didn’t do jealousy. He’d decided that back in school when his girlfriend got mad at him for having other friends who were girls. He didn’t like people being jealous over him, and so he wouldn’t be jealous over other people. It had no place in a healthy relationship, after all.But Elias was incredibly jealous of Matt. That probably should have told him a lot about his relationship.The stupidest thing was that it was nothing out of the norm. Matty and Ritter always had their ridiculous goal cellies together, little dances and giant hugs, jumping into each other’s arms. The social media team loved it, the fans ate it up, the guys all teased them for it. It was cute, their own Foligno and Bobrovsky thing, except better, because it was the Flames.It was nothing that hadn’t happened before Ritter nested, and so at first Elias didn’t think twice when it kept happening afterwards.After he and Ritter got together.He had no reason to think about it those first few weeks, because he was too wrapped up in his new relationship with Ritter.David. He could call him David now, because they were a couple, and couples called each other by their actual names.Not that they did that much talking. Their relationship was very…demonstrative. David had always been a really affectionate guy, very touchy, even more so when he was nesting. When they got together David was still very physical, always with a hand on Elias’s neck, an arm around his waist, pressing kisses to the top of his head as he walked by.He was physical with all the guys on the team. It shouldn’t have bothered Elias if David was affectionate with Matty too.Except as the weeks waned on, things were clearly…different.It wasn’t that David was keeping his distance, because he wasn’t really a guy who did the cold shoulder thing. He was too nice for that. But when a guy went from making you sit in his lap every time you watched Netflix together to leaving a good six inches of space between you on the couch, you noticed it quickly.The kisses were still there, but they were short. Chaste. Perfunctory. Fond the way you were fond of an old friend. The passion from David’s nesting seemed to have abated with all of his other “instincts.”But still, Elias didn’t start to put it together until they’d been together for over two months. They’d been watching a movie together, curled up in bed in David’s hotel room on the road. It was some sort of action movie that David was far more interested in than Elias, which was fine, because Elias was far more interested in pressing kisses down the length of David’s neck.He’d smiled and skimmed his hand down the front of David’s shirt, feeling the cut of his muscles through the thin cotton. When he reached the end his fingers toyed with the hem for a moment before slipping under it, curling in the waistband of David’s jeans.And then David made some unknowable sound in his throat and grabbed Elias’s wrist, gently but firmly pulling it away from his waist.“Uh, not tonight,” David had said. He’d looked distinctly uncomfortable as he shifted a few inches away.Shifted away. Not winking and patting his hand and telling him he’d make it up to him another time the way he normally would if he didn’t feel like sex. He actually fucking moved away from Elias like he thought he needed space between them to be safe.Elias had snatched his hand away like he’d been scalded, and maybe he had, because his whole body felt like it was on fire. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been more mortified in his life, especially not with the uneasy look David was giving him.Oh God, he’d caused that. And he’d been kissing David for a good ten minutes – was he uncomfortable the whole time? Was Elias really so self-absorbed that he didn’t see it?“I’m sorry,” he mumbled quickly. He slid off the bed, cramming his feet back in his shoes, never once looking up from the ground. “I think I’ll – you know I’m tired, I’ll just go.”It said something that David didn’t try to get up to follow him.“Lindy,” David called, but then he broke off into a sigh and didn’t say anything else. Or point out that they’d been sharing a bed more often than not, especially on the road.He used Elias’s hockey nickname. That said something else.That was when Elias started to actually pay attention to what was going on around him.Later on part of him would wish that he hadn’t, that he’d gone on living in ignorant bliss, but – this was better. For everyone.Despite his lifelong policy of refusing to be jealous, he got jealous pretty damn quickly when he really started to look at the way David acted with Matt. It was hard not to be jealous, because David lit up around Matt. It wasn’t just when they hugged on the ice. Matt just had to walk into a room and David started smiling when he saw him. He sought him out on planes and buses, always ready to share a joke or a story. Elias normally never cared who he or David sat with, but it was suddenly so noticeable that David really didn’t spare him a second glance.It had been over two months since David had nested, and in that time their relationship had cooled from fucking like rabbits multiple times a day to spending less time together than they did with their teammates, despite living in each other’s pockets.Elias never had forgotten David saying that his nesting instincts told him that he liked Elias. At the time it had sounded so romantic, sweet even, some innate part of David being attracted to Elias.But now, all he could think about was his original fear: that David had only been attracted to him because of his nesting instincts, and that his nesting instincts forced him to do things that he normally wouldn’t consent to.David had always loved to be around Matty. He only started to care about Elias when he nested.There was probably a reason for that.After the night David turned him down, Elias waited on tenterhooks for the inevitable break-up. It felt like the writing was on the wall, now. It was so clear that David wasn’t happy in their relationship, that he probably had never wanted it. That he’d be a lot happier if he was free to go pursue Matty.Except in all of his waiting, David never said a word. He held Elias’s hand, loosely, easy to pull away from, and he’d sit with Elias at meals, and he’d kiss him on the cheek.It was getting so formal and awkward that eventually Elias came to the conclusion that no matter how uncomfortable he was, David was never going to break up with him. He was too nice to do it.And it burned to admit that. It ate him up inside, raging against the thought that not only was Elias being dumped in slow motion, but apparently he would also have to be the one to nut up and verbalize that their relationship wasn’t working, because David would rather just let it drag painfully along the ground until it wore away into nothing than tell Elias he didn’t care for him.The final straw came one night after a game against Florida. David had done his usual deal with Matty, a big hug that this time led to hoisting Matty up in his arms, getting him at least a good foot off the ice. When he set Matt down they were both beaming, red-faced and breathless as they stared into each other’s eyes, and that was when Elias knew that it was time.David had never looked at him like that before, and he never would.He’d always said he didn’t do jealousy, and he wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to be jealous and stand in the way of a relationship that David actually wanted, all while trapping him in a mistake he’d made while nesting, when his judgment was impaired and he was relying on Elias to look out for him.This was looking out for him. This was Elias doing right by him.The way that David looked at him, when Elias asked if they could speak in private as the guys were moving their post-win celebrations to a bar, he was pretty sure that David knew what was happening before Elias said a word.“I won’t keep you long,” Elias said. He immediately felt worse for essentially justifying to the guy who had nominally been his boyfriend that he needed a moment of his time to break up with him. “I just…I know your heart’s not in this relationship.”David didn’t say anything. Didn’t even try to protest.Elias hadn’t thought he’d had any hope left in him, until that last shred shriveled up and died like a salted slug.He swallowed heavily, focused his gaze somewhere to the left of David’s head.“I think it’s best for us both if we break up.” At least half of that was true. “I think…there’s someone else in your life who’s better for you than me.”David actually did respond then. He smiled, small and quick and grateful, and Elias wanted to maybe scream a little bit, but he stood there as David finally moved closer and pulled him into a brief hug.“Thank you,” he murmured against Elias’s ear. The warmth of his breath sent a shiver down Elias’s spine, and Elias cursed himself for wanting to savor the moment. “You’re a good friend, Lindy.”Then David pressed a brief kiss to the ridge of Elias’s cheekbone, so quick it couldn’t be more than the slightest touch of lips, and then he was walking out of the room, undoubtedly looking to catch up with Matty and the boys on the way to the bar.Elias stood there, alone, staring at a wall, trying to remember how to breathe again.It took him a good two minutes to realize that the room they broke up in was the same room where David had built his nest.Nobody was left around to hear him scream, so it was almost like it had never happened.Three days later, Matty and Ritter came in with their arms around each other’s waists, and it was like their whole relationship had never happened.Elias got better at keeping his screams inside. Whoever said that internalizing your emotions was bad had clearly never tried to gracefully stand aside so their boyfriend could be happier dating someone else.If he could even call Ritter his boyfriend without feeling sick to his stomach again.There wasn’t really a lot of research into goalie nesting behavior, given what a strange and unpredictable phenomenon it was. Nobody had ever really asserted if a goaltender in the midst of nesting was capable of giving consent. But Elias couldn’t help but think that he’d been taking advantage of a vulnerable teammate. Just looking back at how quickly Ritter had lost interest in him when he’d stopped nesting and the hormones had time to get out of his system, it was so clear that his instincts had taken control of his behavior and forced him to do things against his will.Elias had to run to the bathroom to throw up when he thought back on the times they’d had sex. He could never forgive himself for that, nor should he.All those times Ritter had pressed kisses all of his hair, his face, he’d sat there and let him do it even though he knew Ritter only did it to placate him. It was like a dog learning a trick because they could tell it made their owner happy. They weren’t doing it because they wanted to, they were doing it to appease someone else.Ritter didn’t want him for him. Elias was just another piece of the net to protect, a piece that was mobile and could get up and leave if Ritter didn’t find something to keep him in place.He’d found something, alright, and it had worked. It worked a little too well, because Elias had still wanted to stay after Ritter didn’t need him anymore, and it had taken him far too long to figure it out.Well, not anymore. He’d learned his lesson. Next time, he was listening to everyone’s warnings and staying the fuck away from nesting goalies.He wasn’t sure his heart could take getting attached like that again.~~~“It’s okay to be mad at them,” Johnny said once, and that made it even more embarrassing. It was Johnny Gaudreau of all people, making himself a disgusting plain-ass ham-only sandwich on white Wonder Bread, handing out sage life advice as Elias watched him from his couch.“Mad at who?” he asked, because he liked to pretend that nothing had happened and he hadn’t spent two months dating the team’s goaltender. Nobody else commented on it, which made the illusion easier.Johnny rolled his eyes. It really was a sad day when Johnny Gaudreau had the high ground to mock you for your failed relationship.“Matty and Ritter. It’s okay to be mad at them, even if you pushed them to be together.” Then Johnny took a bite of his sandwich and continued talking, because of course he did. “Ritter didn’t treat you well, man, and you were like, super chill about him going after Matty. I think most people would be hurt by that.”Apparently they really were talking about this. Elias sighed and flopped over on the couch, putting him out of Johnny’s line of sight.“I don’t have a right to be upset,” he muttered into the side of the couch. “I took advantage of him.”Johnny’s snort was loud and unflattering. “He dragged you into a net and didn’t let you go, I think he did his own taking advantage.”“He couldn’t think straight and I knew that and still let him…kiss me. And even when he stopped nesting he was still under the influence of it, and I got into a relationship with him. It wasn’t fair to him. He didn’t really want me, it was just his instincts.”The scene replayed in his mind again, Ritter shying away from his touch. How long had he wanted to break up with Elias but been too afraid of hurting him to ask?No, it was pretty clear who was in the wrong in this situation.Johnny poured himself a large glass of milk. When he offered the carton in Elias’s direction, Elias shook his head.“Well, his instincts wanted you pretty badly,” Johnny said after taking a drink. “Even if he decided later on that he was looking for some sort of nesting-fling, he should have talked to you about it. It was pretty shitty to lead you on like that. Especially after how freaky he got over you when he was nesting.”Elias squinted at him over the top of the couch. “And what kind of credentials do you have to be giving out dating advice?”Johnny flushed a little bit, but steeled his shoulders. Huh, he was getting better at that assertiveness thing.“Because I care about you and I have eyeballs and everyone can tell how upset you’ve been. You guys went from being like, all over each other to not even talking anymore.”That…wasn’t entirely untrue. He winced at the memory of being “all over each other.” That had evidently been pretty one-sided after the first few weeks.Groaning, he flopped back down on the couch. He couldn’t see Johnny from this angle, but maybe that was better. “It’s better this way. You’ve seen how happy he is. I’m just…I’m not the one who makes him happy. And that’s okay.”Maybe if he said it enough he’d believe it.Johnny peered over the couch at him. He was chewing again, but even that wasn’t enough to lessen the force of his sad concerned puppy eyes. “Well, I’m here for you. Mony too. We got your back, bro.”It did help, a little. Not enough to lessen the hollow ache in his chest or the guilt wrapped around his heart.But it helped to have someone else acknowledge that Elias had been in a relationship, if only for a little bit, because when he saw how happy Ritter and Matt looked together, he started to wonder if he’d made it up.How could anyone have ever thought that that man would be happy with anyone else?~~~Elias didn’t avoid Ritter. He still patted his helmet after wins and tapped him with his stick on his way out onto the ice, just like everyone else.He just didn’t spend more time with him than he did any other teammates.Their relationship had gone back to exactly what it had been before Ritter’s nesting. They were teammates on amicable terms, but not the type of guys who spent time together away from team functions. Elias had casual friendships like that with plenty of teammates.Really, those two months that they’d been together were the only actual anomaly, and even then there were some things that had never changed. They hadn’t usually sat together on trips, so it wasn’t like that was different when they broke up. They didn’t eat meals together anymore, but they’d eaten so many meals with other teammates present that it wasn’t like they’d incorporated private dinner dates into their routine yet.The rest of the team clearly didn’t find it too jarring for Ritter to have left Elias and started up a relationship with Matt. The subject of their teasing had shifted, but otherwise, the Flames just kept on trucking, not bothered in the least by which of their teammates their goalie was fucking.Or not fucking, as the case may be.The team was over it, and so Elias did what was best for the team and told himself he was over it too. He wasn’t going to allow his twisted guilt and longing and no small amount of self-loathing to influence how he acted around Ritter. Even if he had to watch every day as Ritter and Matty laughed and smiled, hanging off of each other with that easy physicality that Ritter had once shared with Elias. As Ritter kissed Matt so casually, all the time, like he just couldn’t stop himself, and took the jeering from their teammates with his normal congenial aplomb and a cheerful middle finger.He was happy now. Ritter was happy now, in a way he’d never been with Elias, because this was the relationship he’d chosen himself, not the one his instincts had dictated for him. Who was Elias to stand in the way of that?Elias became very good at minding his own business. They’d only been together for two months. He could get over this.Until Ritter started nesting again, and he really, really couldn’t.It wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s what everyone kept saying, all the trainers, the medical staff, looking at each other anxiously as if one of them had to be withholding the magic answer for why Ritter’s vitals were pointing towards another nesting period.“Maybe the results are off” was dismissed as soon as a blood test confirmed that Ritter was going to nest again, imminently.Goalies could go years without nesting – hell, some guys said they’d never nested at all. It always varied on a case by case basis, dictated by biology and personality and circumstance and stress.But absolutely nobody nested more often than once a year.Twice in a few months? For a team at the top of the league?That just didn’t happen.Having it happen on an eastern road trip was just the cherry on top of a shitty, shitty sundae.“Okay, same deal as last time,” one of the trainers said. “Only this time, we are all following the rules about how to deal with a nesting goaltender.”Nobody looked at Elias, but everyone was looking at Elias.They didn’t have to worry. He wasn’t making the same mistakes twice.“That means: we are all going to respect Ritter’s space. I don’t want any of you going anywhere near him if you don’t have to. We will work out how to keep him comfortable while the team is travelling. Under absolutely no circumstances is anyone to approach him alone, or take him anywhere without talking to staff first.”Everyone was steadfastly not looking at Elias again. They really didn’t need to bother. They were in D.C., what was he going to do, hustle a nesting goalie onto the fucking metro?“Does everyone understand? We don’t want any repeats of last time.”Elias nodded along with everyone else. He didn’t want a repeat of last time either.He didn’t even see Ritter for most of that first day, during his pre-nesting phase or whatever. He followed instructions perfectly, showing up for morning skate when he was supposed to, heading back to the hotel for a nap when everyone else did. During the game that night Ritter was on the bench. He looked a little flushed, and Matty kept sending him concerned stares down the bench, but Elias paid them no mind.This wasn’t any of his business anymore, after all.Apparently Ritter went into something like full-nesting after the game. Elias only knew this because he heard the snarl just like everyone else. It set his hair on end, echoing through the room loud enough to send chills down his spine. The guys at that end of the room immediately backed off, everyone trying to give Ritter a good radius of free space so he didn’t feel like they were in his territory.The training staff was hissing muffled curses, undoubtedly struggling to figure out where they were supposed to stash Ritter when they had to be on a plane in a few hours.“Dave?” Matty spoke slowly, his voice a soft, questioning lilt. He stood at the edge of the invisible circle, looking like he wanted nothing more than to step inside and calm Ritter down. Ritter huffed like an agitated bull, head barely twitching in Matt’s direction. He was too busy scanning the crowd, probably searching for a threat.Having the same thought, Johnny and Elias both shoved Mony so he was sitting in a stall, obscured from Ritter’s view by everyone standing up. They didn’t need a repeat of last time.But Ritter’s eyes tracked the movement the way he would a puck, zeroing in on any change in the atmosphere around him. His gaze fixated on Elias and Johnny, even through the sea of people, and he growled.Elias knew that growl. He remembered it vividly, knew exactly what it meant.He flinched, despite how much he tried to fight it, feeling his heart pounding in his chest and tears burning in the corners of his eyes.When Ritter made that damnably familiar croon and took a step in his direction, he bolted.He could hear the commotion behind him, a heart-breaking howl and a clatter and people shouting, but Elias kept moving, even when he was only half-changed back into his suit, shirt untucked and missing his shoes and jacket, hair a mess. Eventually he reached a hallway that was relatively empty, and the sounds of a screaming goaltender had faded away.The tears finally started to roll down his face. He scrubbed them away with a rough swipe of his hand. Fuck, he wasn’t doing this again. He was not doing this again.His heart couldn’t handle doing it again.He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, leaning against a wall in his socks with his hands pressed over his face, but eventually he heard footsteps. His head jerked up, breath caught in his throat, ready to run.Elias heaved a sigh when he realized who it was.“We got your stuff.” Mony held up Elias’s shoes and jacket. Johnny was just behind him with Elias’s bags.He took them gratefully, leaning against the wall to pull his shoes on. “Thanks,” he croaked, hating the way his voice sounded.Mony shrugged, sticking his hands in his pocket and looking off down the hall.“It’s nothing. Gio and Smitty are trying to calm him down now. He really flipped when you left.”Elias couldn’t control the bitter turn to his smile. “I don’t see why he should. It’s Chucky he wants.”Someone like Johnny shouldn’t have been able to look that solemn. “Matt was trying to get his attention. Ritter wouldn’t even look at him.”If Elias were a more jealous person, that would have made him feel good about himself. Instead it just sank like a leaden weight in his gut, adding to the pile of his guilt.Even when he’d given Ritter up, he was still fucking up his relationship with Matt.The rest of the next hour blurred together, and Elias couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to it as it slid by. Nothing came into focus again until he stepped onto the bus to go to the airport and was abruptly wrenched sideways into the first row of seats. His face was buried in something smooth and red that smelled strongly of sweat. He wrinkled his nose and tried to pull away, only for a bird-like croon to make his blood turn to ice.Ritter’s gloved hands stroked clumsily over Elias’s back as he pressed the hard metal cage of his mask against the top of Elias’s head.“Oh shit,” said a voice that sounded like it might be Hanny, who had been coming behind Elias. “Uh, guys?”“David,” someone else said in a stern, warning voice. Elias wheezed as he was squeezed closer to Ritter’s chest, feeling his chest protector dig into his cheek.With a bit of effort he got his hands up between them on Ritter’s chest and shoved. He actually got a bit of space between them, maybe because Ritter was so surprised by the action.He could see Ritter frown through the mask even before he made a wounded sound and tried to cup Elias’s face in his glove, even as Elias was trying to squirm away. Ritter’s other arm was a steel band around his back, and it wasn’t tight enough to suffocate him, so Elias didn’t know why he felt like he was starting to hyperventilate.Ritter made a low noise from deep in his throat and flipped his mask up. He ducked his head and pressed a kiss to Elias’s hair, and then another to his forehead, and another, and oh, fuck, no, they weren’t doing this again.With the sort of adrenaline usually only felt by a rabbit making its last gasping attempt to save itself from a wolf, Elias shoved himself away from Ritter with enough force that he sent himself falling into the aisle. A bright burst of light flashed across his vision as he cracked his head against the hard plastic edge of the seat on the other side of the aisle, and he almost couldn’t make out Ritter’s animal cry of shock and pain amidst the shouts of his teammates. There were hands scrabbling over him, and Elias was too disoriented to see who it was until he was being hauled upright and down the aisle to the back of the bus. When he was settled in a seat again he saw Noah and Sam looming over him with twin expressions of concern, and one of the trainers hustling up the aisle right behind them. There was still a commotion from the front of the bus, and Elias could hear what sounded like Matt’s voice shouting, “Dave – Dave!”“Are you okay?” The trainer’s face was far too close to Elias’s – probably trying to check his pupils, he realized with a start. “How’s your head, are you bleeding?”The question was directed at Elias, but he was looking at Noah.Noah shrugged. “I didn’t see any blood?”Elias sat still as his head was prodded, wincing as probing fingers pressed down on a sore spot.The trainer hummed, and kept touching it. “Well, it doesn’t look like you’re bleeding, but you’ve got a good knot there. I’ll see if I can get you some ice. We’re going to have to do concussion protocol, just to be safe.”Elias couldn’t hide his groan of disappointment, but maybe he should have, because then there was a crash from the front of the bus and more yelling and the trainer was grumbling in what he probably thought was an inaudible voice about if sedating your players was legal.It was all way too fucking much to cope with for one evening. Elias just closed his eyes and tried to block it all out.That worked for a while. Sam and Noah stayed with him for the trip to the airport. They’d probably been told to keep an eye on him, but it was nice to have the support.When they reached the airport, Ritter was hustled off the bus first and taken…Elias didn’t really know where, but he didn’t care. Apparently the thought this time was to get everyone settled onto the plane before bringing Ritter, in the hopes that he would cause less disruption if the whole team didn’t walk by him when getting on the plane.Elias just held his ice pack to his head and did as he was told. At some point Johnny joined him, bumping up against his side.“What happened earlier?” he mumbled. Elias didn’t bother to look up to see his face, but he could imagine that his eyes were probably wide. “With the…did he do that last time?”Elias grunted and stared at the ground as they walked. “He’s trying to placate me. Make me happy so I’ll stop fighting and do what he wants.”“By kissing you?”He could feel his face turning red, probably as dark as the jersey Ritter wouldn’t take off.“It worked the last time, didn’t it?”Johnny was blissfully silent as he mulled that over, but it didn’t last long.“That’s really shitty,” he finally said, sounding decisive. He was probably nodding to himself too, knowing Johnny. “He shouldn’t be kissing you if he doesn’t want a relationship with you.”“He doesn’t know what he wants,” Elias spat, feeling the acidic burn of the words. “He’s confused. His instincts tell him to do things he doesn’t actually want to do. He didn’t really want me last time, and when he wakes up, he won’t want me this time either. It’s done. I’m not doing this again. Can we please stop talking about it?”Elias felt a little wild with it, panting and sweating despite the chill of the air as they approached the plane, and maybe some of that showed in his eyes, because when he looked up, Johnny’s mouth was hanging open in shock.“Yeah,” he murmured. “Yeah, sorry Lindy. I…sorry.”And great, now he’d yelled at Johnny of all fucking people. Elias went to rub a hand over his head in frustration, only to hiss and snap his hand away when he remembered why he’d been carrying that ice pack.“Fuck. Look, I’m sorry, man. This is just…”Maybe they really didn’t deserve Johnny Gaudreau, or at least Elias didn’t, because Johnny just bumped their arms again. “I know, it’s been a shitty day. Come on, you can sleep on the plane.”Except Elias couldn’t go right to sleep, because first one of the trainers pulled him aside to do concussion testing while everyone else boarded. He cleared Elias, with strict instructions to let them know if anything changed and warning him that they’d probably test him again tomorrow to be safe.By the time they let him sit, most of the guys had already settled into their seats. There was an obvious seat left open next to Johnny at a group of seats surrounding a table, and Elias was more than grateful to take it.“All good,” Elias said as he sat down. Johnny nudged their shoulders together and both Janny and Benny kicked him under the table (and ended up kicking each other), so he figured that was their way of saying they were relieved for him.“Heads up,” he heard Nealer mutter from across the aisle, just in time to look up and see a crowd of people trying to hustle Ritter onto the plane. Matty was at his side, looking concerned as he put a guiding hand on Ritter’s arm.Elias ducked his head and stared resolutely at his phone. He wasn’t going to watch. It was none of his business.Things must not have gone too horribly because he didn’t hear yelling this time, and the plane took off without a hitch.He quickly lost interest in the card game going on in front of him, probably because his head was pounding and he felt like he’d been run over by a truck.Elias fell asleep to the quiet muttering and muffled curses of his teammates playing their game, and when he woke up things were silent.Too silent.When he cracked an eye open, a large figure was looming over him. He had to blink a few times for his vision to clear and focus in the dim cabin lighting of the plane.The figure was…distinctly goalie-shaped.“Oh, fuck.”He jolted back in his seat, hissing when his head bumped against the padded headrest.Ritter made a sad sound and reached out carefully, telegraphing his movements as if Elias was the feral one in this scenario. Elias was too busy trying to read his expression through his mask to notice the blanket Ritter was holding until Ritter was pressing it against his chest, plucking at it to try to spread it over him. He must have taken off his gloves at some point, a minor victory, except what the fuck was he doing without his cadre of handlers?Elias did his best to ignore the goalie chirping softly while firmly smoothing a blanket over him, craning his neck to get a look down the aisle. He could see Smitty watching them with a grimace, and Matty just looked upset.Well, fuck, it wasn’t like Elias had asked for this.He pushed the blanket away from his neck. “No. You need to go.”The guys around him tensed, probably expecting Elias was about to get mauled. Fuck it, at this point he really didn’t care if he did.Ritter whined and tried to stroke Elias’s cheek, but Elias moved away before he could do it.“No. You have Matt now, go take care of him.”He hoped that it would work, redirecting Ritter in the direction of the guy he actually wanted. Matt seemed to hope so too, carefully approaching Ritter with a small, fond smile on his face.“C'mon, Dave, let’s go sit down.” And fuck, nobody should look that sweet, especially not Matt Tkachuk.Gritting his teeth, Elias pushed the nearest part of Ritter he could reach in Matt’s direction.“Go on, go with Matty.”He didn’t expect Ritter to grab the hand Elias was using to push him away and hold it within his own, large and warm and sure. He also wasn’t expecting Ritter to turn towards Matt and growl, visibly baring his teeth through his mask.Matty stumbled back like he’d been slapped. God knows Elias felt like he had been.“Dude, what the fuck?” Elias yanked his hand away, holding it to his chest as if to keep Ritter from getting it again. He was pretty much immune to Ritter’s sad sounds at this point, and so he ignored him, right along with all the hurt looks Matt was giving him.Fuck, but what more could he do? He didn’t do anything to attract Ritter’s attention. This wasn’t on him.“Here, look.” He grabbed up the blanket Ritter had given him, wadded it in a ball and threw it over to Matt. It was only through years of muscle memory that Matt remembered to catch it and didn’t just let it hit him in the face, given how crushed he looked.Elias was barely holding himself together right now. He didn’t have the emotional or physical energy to manage someone else’s feelings.“See, Matty has the blanket, Matty’s your boy. Go with him.”He couldn’t see Ritter’s eyes through the mask, but Matty must have been able to, because the brief look of hope on his face was dying quickly.Elias was tired, and his head hurt, and his heart hurt even more, and he couldn’t deal with this anymore.“Fucking go.” He shoved at Ritter again, and this time Ritter snarled…at Matt.Oh, fuck.He’d forgotten that they had an audience, but thank God for it, because Nealer jumped up from his seat across from Elias and grabbed the back of Ritter’s jersey just as he lunged for Matt. The aisles of the plane weren’t that wide, and Elias could see Smitty shoving Matt sprawling across Hammer’s lap to get around him towards Ritter.“Hey, hey! Knock it off!” Smitty was just about the only one willing to get up in Ritter’s face when he was like this, some sort of weird goalie wavelength they were on. But Ritter thrashed against him, still visibly tracking Matt and not paying Smitty any mind – but completely willing to move him by force if need be.It was only by pure chance that Smitty was able to avoid taking a fist to the jaw. “Lindy, tell him Matt’s not a threat!”What the fuck.“What the fuck?!” he yelped. “Who the fuck said he’s a threat?”Nealer had looped an arm around Ritter’s neck and hauled him back away from Smitty, and the narrow aisles were probably the only thing keeping Ritter from turning around and knocking out more of his teeth.“He thinks you’re rejecting him because Matt’s making you do it. He thinks if he eliminates the threat you’ll be happy with him again.”Elias wanted to protest that so much, because how in the fuck had he ever insinuated that? And why was he responsible for Ritter’s apparently Olympic-quality leaps of logic?But then Ritter really did punch Smitty in the face, and none of the trainers could get up close enough from the front of the plane to try to restrain him, and even with Gio helping Nealer they couldn’t get a good enough grip on Ritter to try to pull him back.Fuck it.“Ritter, stop! Fucking stop!” He stood up as best he could in the cramped space and grabbed at Ritter’s arm. “He’s not hurting me!”His words were as meaningless as his presence. Ritter tried to shake him off just like everyone else and almost got a hit in to Elias’s chest.A spark of an idea. It was shitty, but it would probably work.“You’re hurting me!”It was like a repeat of the time Ritter had clawed his face, the way he suddenly stilled like his strings had been cut, falling utterly silent. Then it was a flurry of motion, Ritter patting at him and whining, pawing over his body, trying to see where he’d been hurt.Out of the corner of his eye Elias could see Johnny next to him, frozen like a baby deer. Mike was still in the aisle, rubbing at his jaw, and there was Matty further back, looking gutted.Elias closed his eyes and told himself he wasn’t going to fucking cry in front of his team. But when Ritter flipped his mask up to try to kiss him again he couldn’t stop himself. Shoving Ritter away with enough force to send him stumbling back into Smitty, Elias clambered out of his seat, pushing aside a stunned Nealer and Gio, and bolted for the safety of the bathroom, where he could vomit to his heart’s content.He stayed there, utterly refusing to leave until TJ knocked and told him that they had Ritter “settled down” up front.Elias didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the flight.~~~He didn’t know how they got Ritter off the plane in Philadelphia or how they got him on the bus or what they did with him when they got to the hotel, and he didn’t care. He didn’t know if they somehow dragged Ritter down for breakfast the next morning or brought food to his room, because he didn’t eat. Elias didn’t leave his room until he absolutely had to the next morning, right before the bus to morning skate. He’d slept fitfully, nerves enough to make him puke a second time at the hotel, and he knew he looked like shit.But Ritter wasn’t at the arena for practice, and Elias couldn’t have been more relieved.“You look like shit,” Hanny told him as they got ready for practice.“Yep.”Hanny squinted at him. “Did you eat today?”“Nope.”He’d known Elias long enough to know when he wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. Thankfully, he didn’t push the issue any further. “Well fucking eat something before the game tonight.”“Yep.”The rest of morning skate was blissfully normal, even if they had to put the goaltending coach in to cover one of the nets. Elias could almost pretend that the past twenty-four hours hadn’t happened.Almost. If Matthew Tkachuk didn’t keep sending him all those miserable looks.He was expecting it when Matty grabbed him in the dressing room after skate.“Can I talk to you real quick? About Ritter?”Elias couldn’t imagine what else Matt would have singled him out for anyway, but he kept his snarky comments to himself. He felt like an exposed nerve, and his bitterness was showing.When they’d found a sufficiently private space, Matty leaned in and asked, “So how did you do it?”“…Do what?”Matty flushed and looked down. “Get David to like you. When he’s nesting. I just want to take care of him the way you did before, but he won’t let me. And so I figured, he seems to really like you because of whatever you did last time, so maybe if I learn from you, he’ll want to nest with me too?”There went any of Elias’s plans of being able to go the rest of the day without vomiting, because there was no way he could eat now. The guilt made him feel too sick.Here was Matty, the guy that Ritter actually wanted to be with, begging Elias of all people to teach him how to make his boyfriend – his boyfriend who chose him over Elias! – to want him.Elias would laugh if he didn’t think he’d start crying.But he couldn’t laugh, not with how sad Matty was. He was trying really hard to do what was best for Ritter – they both were. And Elias knew Matt was best for Ritter, even if Ritter didn’t know it right now.He still didn’t have a good answer for him.“I didn’t really do anything. I, uh, just let him do what he wanted, really. He wanted me to sit in the net with him, I did. He wanted to feed me crackers or whatever, I let him. He did a lot of little patrols to make sure things were safe and I let him do that. It’s really just, uh, being there. For him.”And letting him rip your heart out when he finished nesting and realized he didn’t want you. That too.He thought about letting Ritter kiss him to make him stay. At least Ritter might actually want that with Matt.“I’ve been trying all that,” Matt was saying. “I try to be near him, but he gets all riled up. He won’t eat if any of us are in the room with him because he doesn’t want to take the mask off. The equipment guys took away his stick so he couldn’t try to hit anyone. He’s just…really unhappy.”He sighed. “I guess I’ll keep trying. There’s nothing more I can do, right?”The way he looked at Elias was begging him to say that there was one more thing, one magic secret Elias was withholding that would make it all better.Fuck, if he had the answer for all of this, he’d have fixed it a long time ago.“Look, it’s only for like, another two days, tops,” Elias said. “Then he’ll be back to normal and he’ll be glad to see you when he’s back to himself. You just have to wait him out. Smitty says some goalies just don’t like anyone when they’re nesting.”That steadfastly ignored that Ritter did like someone when he was nesting, because Elias wasn’t the one he was allowed to like.It seemed to do the trick though, because Chucky smiled and patted Elias on the shoulder.“Thanks, Lindy. You’re a good guy.”A good guy who took advantage of Matt’s boyfriend at his most vulnerable and was now being tormented by his bad decisions following him around in the shape of an angry, confused Czech goaltender.Yeah. Elias was a great guy, alright.~~~But Ritter didn’t get better in the next two days. The team continued on their road trip in this same hellish manner, full of struggling to just move between locations without a full on brawl breaking out. Smitty got punched again, Gio got slashed across the legs with a stick that Ritter was absolutely not supposed to be allowed to have, and poor Fro got a new set of Czech goalie teeth buried in his arm.“They don’t think this one will scar,” he said when he saw Elias eyeing it, sounding almost hopeful.Elias had left to go throw up again.He felt like he couldn’t keep anything down, nerves and guilt wreaking havoc on his body. He could barely sleep, and when he did sleep he woke up feeling exhausted. His head still ached even if the lump had gone down, and he knew part of it was because he didn’t eat enough. But when he did eat he felt so sick that he ended up throwing up again and repeating the whole cycle.People had picked up on something being wrong. You didn’t spend that much time around someone without recognizing when they were struggling. The trainers had already been all over Elias about eating better, giving him some sort of med that was supposed to calm his stomach and forcing way too many protein shakes on him. Johnny was the ultimate mother hen, following Elias around with nervous eyes and trying to sneak him Cheetos “because they make me feel better when I’m sick.”(Just the thought of vomiting neon orange cheese powder made him want to throw up another time.)Gio kept doing his captainly duty checking up on Elias, even though the answers never changed: Elias was fine, just a little under the weather, nothing a good night’s sleep couldn’t fix.A good night’s sleep and the end of Ritter’s fucking nesting.That was the worst part because it was literally everyone on the team who noticed that Elias was fucked up. Including Ritter. Who kept approaching Elias with blankets and jerseys and granola bars and fucking purple Gatorade, sitting them down gently next to Elias as if in offering whenever Elias glared at him. He’d still try to pet Elias, touch his hair or his face, but he didn’t chase after him if Elias moved away anymore, so apparently he was able to learn a little bit.It was like a knife in his chest every single time he had to turn away from those sad eyes and miserable whimpers, because he remembered how happy Ritter was to take care of him the last time. Fuck, this was supposed to be some way for Ritter to de-stress and feel comfortable with his team and instead Elias was just dragging Ritter down with him.But every time he tried to redirect Ritter towards Matt was nearly as catastrophic as the first. Best case scenario, he ignored Matt entirely. Worst, he tried to nail Matt in the head with a puck and only missed because Smitty lunged and caught it in his own glove.He was nuking his own relationship, and it wasn’t Elias’s fault at all, except that if he hadn’t been there then maybe Ritter would have remembered that he liked Matt more.Except the team was on a road trip, and there was only so much Elias could do to avoid them. Oh, he did try, pretty much avoiding leaving his hotel room unless contractually obligated or ordered by Coach to attend a team meal, but it wasn’t helping. Every time they were in the same room, Ritter’s sole focus was on Elias, and Elias’s sole focus was on trying to forget how much it would kill him to give in to Ritter now only to get rejected again when he remembered who he really wanted.And then two days had past, and three, and by the time Ritter had been nesting for a total of five days, the team was in New Jersey and everyone was reaching their breaking point.“He won’t move, and he won’t let anyone near him,” Elias could hear one of the athletic trainers whispering to Coach after practice the day before they played the Devils. They weren’t nearly as quiet as they thought, after years of talking over people in loud dressing rooms. “It doesn’t matter who’s talking to him, he won’t calm down. He’s gotten hold of a stick again and we just had to send Joe to get his hand x-rayed after Rittich hit him. We can’t keep doing this. It’s hell on him and it’s hell on us.”Elias wasn’t the only one listening in, and Coach clearly realized that, gesturing the group around him out of the dressing room.Well, all the better. Elias didn’t want to know what was happening anyway.Except Matty looked distraught, dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights. Smitty still had a big yellowing bruise across his cheek from the time Ritter landed a punch on him, and he looked exhausted too.The whole team was getting worn down, and they were playing like shit. This couldn’t go on.Elias hadn’t had anything to eat today, and his stomach was still revolting.He was planning to continue his new routine of going back to his hotel room and faceplanting in his bed so that he could hopefully wake up in a new universe where he didn’t feel like shit all the time and his goalie remembered that he didn’t like him, but Coach stopped him before he could get on the bus for the hotel.“Lindy, I need to talk to you.”The words were bad enough, but his expression sealed it. This was going to suck.Coach led him to one of the rooms the coaching staff used to talk strategy on the road, really more of a glorified low-budget meeting room with a table and a few chairs. All of the coaching staff was already assembled, along with a few of the trainers. Joe was notably missing, evidently because he had to receive medical treatment.Fucking great.“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Coach said, not even waiting for Elias to take a seat. “David’s been nesting for over five days now. It’s longer than his average, and we think it’s because he’s too stressed out. Part of it is because we’re always on the move and he can’t settle down. And part of it…”For once, Coach actually looked uncomfortable. “Part of it is because we’ve been trying to give him Matt as a nesting partner, and he only wants you.”Elias bit his lip hard enough to bleed to keep from reacting. His mouth flooded with copper as Coach continued, “I know this is not something you want to do and I’m apologizing right now for asking it of you, but we need you to go in there and let David nest with you.”Let David nest with you. As in offer him up like some sort of sacrificial lamb, his heart on a platter, just so Ritter could kiss him and hug him and act like he cared for a day or two until he woke up and was disgusted to find that it was Elias and not Matt, that Elias was so wicked and pathetic that he’d wormed his way back into Ritter’s attentions while he was incapacitated that he’d try to fuck up Ritter’s relationship with Matt just for a scrap of affection.He ran his tongue over the cut on his lip, grounding himself in the sting of it.“No.” He shook his head. “No, I can’t do that. It’s not fair to Ritter or to Matt.”Or to him, but nobody had cared about what was fair to Elias for some time now.“Nothing about this is fair,” Coach said. “Right now this is about the team. This is about helping your teammate. Matt will understand, and so will David. This is doing what we have to in order to help everyone. Look, David is suffering right now. You go spend some time with him, he can finish nesting and everyone can go back to normal. But we need your help. The team needs you to do this.”It was so fucking underhanded, and Elias didn’t even have it in him to protest because he’d already felt defeated walking into this room. This was always how it was going to end. He felt like he must have known it from the start. There was no way that this didn’t end with Elias getting his heart broken a second time.But at this point, did anyone even give a fuck?“Fine,” he mumbled. Coach clapped him on the shoulder like he’d always known Elias was gong to say yes.Apparently they all knew how this would end.Elias felt numb as he was guided out of the room and down the hall. It was like his feet belonged to someone else, and maybe the rest of his body did too, and he was just a bystander watching it all happen.Distantly he saw a few of the guys watching curiously as the group moved past. Johnny was with them, frowning with his sad puppy eyes.“Lindy, are you okay?” he asked.But Elias didn’t answer, because there was blood in a mouth that didn’t feel like it belonged to him.The room they had Ritter in looked like every other trainer’s room in every other hockey arena, and Ritter’s nest looked like every other goalie’s nest. It was the same familiar net covered in fabric, jerseys and blankets and towels and pillows and a goalie in full gear folded up in the middle who sprung to life when the door opened, waving a stick and ready to defend his nest with his life.And then he spotted Elias and made one of the happiest sounds Elias had heard in his life, a lyrical croon that sounded like relief and joy. Elias was all but shoved into the room and the door shut behind him, but Ritter took no notice of anyone else anyways because his attention was solely focused on Elias.He pulled Elias into his arms, making all manner of fast, happy chirps and grumbles, alternating between squeezing him into a hug and patting over him to make sure he was okay. He paid special attention to the back of Elias’s head, cupping Elias’s face in his glove while shucking off his blocker to gently part his hair and look at the bruise.Ritter made a low, sympathetic sound and brought his bare hand up to push his mask up. Then he was smiling down at Elias with a warmth in those feral alien eyes that Elias had once thought meant that the Ritter underneath the instincts liked him too.Now he realized that those wild eyes were the only part of Ritter that would ever love him.Ritter held Elias’s face still in his hands and leaned down to press a warm, firm kiss to his mouth. Elias didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just let it happen while desperately telling himself that if he didn’t react, then Ritter couldn’t get mad at him later.It sounded false even to him.But Ritter didn’t let up, pressing kisses all over Elias’s face, to his cheeks, his nose, his forehead. Elias knew what he wanted – he wanted Elias to smile, to laugh, to playfully push at him but keep him close all the same.Elias sucked at the cut on his lip and did nothing.Unperturbed, Ritter chivvied him over to the nest, guiding Elias down with the utmost of care. He touched Elias’s face again when he had him sitting in the net, just to smile at him, looking breathlessly giddy with excitement. Then he started with the blankets, carefully spreading a blanket over Elias, then what looked to be one of his t-shirts, then a spare jersey, smiling growing brighter with every layer that Elias didn’t protest or move away. He settled pillows and pads around Elias to keep him comfortable, dropped two bottles of purple Gatorade next to him and a whole box of power bars.He wouldn’t stop making those happy sounds, bright chirps that were so sharp they nearly hurt Elias’s ears.Of course he would be happy. All of the parts of his nest were back together again, exactly where they belonged.Then Ritter grabbed up his stick and pulled down his mask and settled in the net next to Elias, ready to keep his nest safe.Elias didn’t move as Ritter put an arm around him to pull him into his side. He didn’t move when Ritter laid his helmeted head atop of Elias’s hair.He didn’t move when the tears that had been burning in his eyes for days finally came, searing tracks down his face.He felt like he couldn’t move at all, but the nest wasn’t supposed to move anyway.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The Goaltender’s nest was perfect. He knew it was perfect. It was better than all of the inferior nests before it because those ones had not been acceptable, but this one would be.It was in a secluded space, with a good, strong net to nest in. The Goaltender had padded his nest and draped it with furnishings to keep it defended and insulated from the outside world. He had prepared a food source so that there would be no reason to leave the nest.He kept the nest secure, jealously guarded it from outsiders and Others, to prove that he could fend off any intruders.The Goaltender’s nest was perfect. He just had to convince his Mate of that.His chest ached at the thought of his Mate. It had been so long since his Mate came to his nest, clearly finding something about it unfavorable. The Goaltender knew that this was not their nest, the nest that his Mate preferred, but he had tried to make passable substitutes in all of the strange places they visited. And yet none prior had been acceptable. It was understandable; his Mate wanted him to prove he could provide stability, and he could not do so while expecting his Mate to move nests every day.That would be fixed now. The Goaltender would not allow the Others to move him from this space. He would stand up to them and defend his Mate’s nest and prove that he was worthy of defending his Mate.But still the Goaltender’s Mate would not visit his nest. His Mate had not visited him for some time. He felt it keenly, that burning absence where his Mate’s presence used to lie. His Mate used to smile so happy for him, opening up like a blossoming flower under the Goaltender’s doting care.The Goaltender whined, restlessly tapping his stick against the floor. He wanted that back. He wanted his Mate to smile at him, and nestle within his arms. He wanted to be worthy of his Mate’s kisses again.But his Mate spurned his advances, rejected his gifts. His Mate was hurting, and sick. He would not let the Goaltender care for him in his illness, provide him with food, soothe his pains.His Mate simply pointed to the Other again, the Other who tried to encroach on their net.“He is Yours,” the Goaltender’s Partner had told him. “He is your Nest Mate.”The Goaltender did not feel shame for lashing out at his Partner. Not when his Partner was trying to give him an Other and represent him as his Mate.He knew who his Mate was. He had always known, right from the moment he first saw him. His Mate belonged to him, just as he belonged to his Mate. He would not let an Other intrude between them in his Mate’s time of need.Everyone kept trying to stand between them, his Partner and his Captain and so many Others. They tried to stop him from seeing his Mate, and the Goaltender watched as his Mate sunk deeper into despair with each moment they were apart.His Mate needed to nest so he could heal. The Goaltender needed to provide that nest and defend it from the Others who tried to intervene.Then his Mate would smile again, and be happy, and stay with him.It had been the Goaltender’s single focus for as long as he could recall: build the nest, protect his Mate, defend their nest. Make his Mate happy.He just wanted his Mate to be happy. He knew he would be once they were together again, once the Goaltender proved to his Mate that he deserved him.He waited faithfully by his nest, defending it with glove and blocker and stick and tooth, waiting for his Mate to realize how well he kept the Others at bay. How safe and quiet their nest would be, for him to heal.He waited and he waited, and then - his Mate came.His Mate was hesitant at first, the way he always was, but he did not shy away when the Goaltender swept him up in his arms, nor when the Goaltender showered him in kisses, the way that always made him happy. His Mate did not smile, but the Goaltender knew that would change now that he would be safe in their nest.His beloved Mate was ill and wanted to rest, and then he would be happy.That was all the Goaltender wanted for him.He led his Mate to their nest and installed him there, wrapped him in layers to protect him and make him feel safe and warm and loved. The Goaltender was gentle, because he knew that his Mate was fragile right now.The Goaltender would be strong until his Mate could be strong again too. He would be strong enough for the both of them.He sat in the nest with his Mate and held him close, keeping his stick close at hand to fend off any Others.His Nest Mate was here now, safe in their nest. Everything was well.Now they could be happy.