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Shiro knew, in some abstract way, that he was having a nightmare. Maybe it was the way that everything around the edges was a bit fuzzy. Sure, he'd been mad with terror the first time (times?) he'd been strapped to a Galra operating table, but there had been a terrifying clarity to it mixed in, as if his mind was trying to find a way to capture every horrifying moment and cram it down into his mind with as much effort as possible. He was aware of heat and wetness around his thighs, but he wasn't going to worry about that, he wasn't going to worry about any of that. He needed to get away, he needed to be safe, he needed - Shiro sat bolt upright in bed, panting, and he scrubbed his hand across his face. He was okay. He was sitting up in the Castle of Lions, in his bunk, and his sheets were bunched up around his waist. He rested his face in his hand - he wasn't wearing his prosthetic to sleep, and the place where it had been ached. So did long scar across his belly, where he'd been vivisected. The memory of that - cold hands amongst his hot organs - made him shiver convulsively. He almost gagged, and then he looked down at his lap, and he groaned. He'd peed the bed. He'd peed the goddamn bed, like a little baby. What the fuck. His stomach did another uncomfortable little flip, and he stood up, his legs shaking. Okay. He could do this. He'd strip the bed, change his pajamas, then go take a shower. He'd be fine. Although he had to put his arm back on, if he was going to do that in a timely manner, and wow, but he was wet all the way up to his goddamn nipples. How had he even managed to pee that much in the first place? He sighed, and he put his arm on, then went to bundle his sheets up. This wasn't the first night he'd peed the bed since he'd arrived at the castle of lions - not even the first time he'd done it in the past month, which was beginning to turn into a Problem. He probably needed to buck up and go talk to Coran about it. He was still too young to be having prostate problems or anything like that, right? ... hopefully. Shiro wrinkled his nose - he didn't exactly smell like a bed of roses - and then he made his way down the hallway. At least it was quiet - everyone was asleep or off doing their own thing. He could do this. * * * Hunk was standing in the kitchen, staring unseeing at the sink, when Shiro walked by. He liked to plan recipes when he couldn't sleep, and for whatever reason, he couldn't sleep. So he planned. If I could just find something like an artichoke, it'd go amazing with that weird chicken-fish that we had at the one planet, was what Hunk was formulating, when the scent of urine hit his nose. He wrinkled it, coming back to reality, and had a moment - I need to change the baby. For just a second, he was back at home, some little niece or nephew clinging to his leg, and he would need to roll his sleeves up and get what needed to be done... done. But no. He was standing in the kitchen in a castle, in space, and... huh. That was a familiar smell. Too tired to think straight, Hunk followed the smell of piss down the hall, only to run into Shiro. Shiro, holding an armful of sheets, looking embarrassed. "Hunk," Shiro said, and he was clearly trying to look put together. "Shiro," Hunk said. "I'd say "what are the odds of meeting you here," but there are, like, seven people in this whole place, so the odds aren't actually that neck and neck." "What are you doing up?" Shiro was still holding his sheets, and was shifting from foot to foot. The lights in the corridor were very bright. "Oh, you know," said Hunk. "Couldn't sleep. We gonna get up to eat some food goo, kinda lost my train of thought on my way to the food goo dispenser, ended up kinda standing in the middle of the kitchen staring into the middle distance trying to figure out what I was doing with my life and also kinda-sorta planning something with space artichokes. Y'know, like y'do." Shiro blinked, looking faintly nonplussed at the flood of words. Hunk's babbling could do that to people. "I, uh... I can't say I've ever had that happen to me, no," said Shiro. "Although I don't doubt it happened to you." "Why, because I just told you that it happened?" Hunk laughed, and he rubbed the back of his neck, shifting from foot to foot. There was some kind of tension in the air, but he couldn't entirely put his finger on what it was. Maybe he was being weird. He always felt a bit around Shiro. Shiro was so... well, Shiro. Strong, intelligent war hero. Versus Hunk, who was, well... himself. Not exactly some kind of great dashing hero or anything like that. Sort of the anti-Shiro, now that he thought about it. Although wow, he was even babbling in his head. “Can I help you with something?” Shiro shifted his grip on all of the sheets in his arms, and Hunk was hit with another wave of urine-scent. “Did you pee the bed?” It popped out of Hunk’s mouth before he had a chance to really catch it - just kinda sat there. “I….” Shiro was turning red, from his cheeks out to his ears, down his neck. It wasn’t a pretty sort of blush, either - it went rather blotchy. Some part of Hunk took some pleasure in that fact - even Shiro could look awkward sometimes. “Because that’s, uh, that’s perfectly normal,” Hunk said quickly. “I peed the bed for a while, when I was younger. It’s just a thing that happens. And, uh… after all the stuff you’ve gone through, I can, uh… I can see why it would….” He trailed off, catching Hiro’s faintly horrified expression. “I’m just going to stop talking now,” Hunk said finally. “You uh… good luck with it. Your laundry.” “... thanks,” said Shiro, and his expression turned wry. “This may just be the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had.” “I’m sure it could be more awkward if we tried,” Hunk said cheerfully, although he was aware that the cheerfulness had a slightly manic edge to it. “But,” he added, “uh, if you… if you want to get the smell out, I have… I have something like vinegar. I don’t know if it’s actually vinegar, but ti does the same kinda stuff that vinegar usually does.” More babbling. Oh god. “Thanks,” said Shiro. “I’d, uh… I’d appreciate that.” “Let me just get it,” said Hunk. “I’ll, uh… I’ll be right back.” * * * Shiro poured the space-vinegar (if that was what it was) into the washing machine. It smelled... well, it smelled kinda like vinegar, if you'd mix vinegar with bubblegum. So maybe my stuff is going to smell like piss mixed with bubblegum. Lovely. Hunk was leaning against one washing machine, looking tired but ultimately like he wanted to be helpful. Shiro didn't want to tell him to fuck off, because, well... there wasn't really a way to do that nicely, was there? Especially when Hunk was being so nice about all of this in the first place. Not that Hunk seemed to have any other setting in the first place, but... still. In Shiro's experience, nice people (even those with an endless backlog of nice) had their limits. "My nephew pees the bed," said Hunk. "Or at least, he did when I left for training." "I'm sorry," said Shiro. How did you... respond to that? "Hey man, at least you don't have to wring out your pajamas, right?" "That would take a while," said Shiro, and he tried not to sound too tired, or too annoyed. Was he annoyed? He was tired enough that he was at a distance from himself. "Sorry," said Hunk, and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking awkward. "I know this is all... weird, and I'm probably making it worse." He shot Shiro a worried look. "Are you doing okay, bud?" Bud Shiro wasn't sure how he felt about that, either. "I'm fine," Shiro said. "I know that, uh, that stress can make some people wet the bed," said Hunk. "And there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, it can be bad for the sheets, obviously, but that's fine otherwise. Things being a mess aren't too much of a problem. We live in space. In the future. Future space." "Do you need anything, Hunk?" Maybe some of Shiro's exhaustion was bleeding through, because Hunk shot him a worried look. "I was going to ask you the same thing, honestly," said Hunk, and then he was... reaching out and putting a hand on Shiro's shoulder. "Do you want to, uh, take wash your pajamas too? You can go take a shower, I'll load everything into the washer. I'll make your bed up too." "Oh," said Shiro, stopped short. "Oh, Hunk, you don't have to do that!" "I know I don't have to," said Hunk, "but I'd like to. Okay?" He put a hand on Shiro's shoulder, and everything was taking on a surreal twist. Shiro was older than Hunk. A good deal older than Hunk. So why was he feeling so young all of a sudden? "If you don't mind," Shiro said quietly. "If it's not too much trouble, I mean." "Let someone else take care of you," Hunk said. "I know that you work really hard being the leader and stuff like that, but... you don't always have to. Okay?" "Okay," Shiro echoed. "Now," said Hunk, rubbing his hands together, "how about you get out of your jammies, I'll wash stuff. You can, uh... you can borrow my shirt, if you're worried about modesty when you're heading to the bathroom." "Right," said Shiro. The way Hunk was talking to him was making him feel... something. Something that was the antithesis of whatever it was that the nightmare had made him feel, but also similar. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He wanted Hunk to take care of him. He wanted to run away and never see Hunk ever again. He bit his lip, and there was a lump in his throat - his face must have been doing something because he was legitimately worried that he was going to burst out crying, but that wasn't a thing that he did, was it? He pulled his shirt up and off, standing there in the laundry room. Hunk stared at Shiro's torso. "Holy fuck," he said, and he sounded faintly shocked. Shiro realized, somewhat belatedly, that Hunk hadn't seen that scar. The big one that bisected him, where they'd pulled his guts open. The scar was there for the memory - he knew that the Galra could have sewed him up without any trouble, without any scars. But they didn't. So here he was, with a great pale line down the middle of his belly and his chest, and his heart was beating very loudly in his ears. Had any of the other paladins seen him shirtless? Keith, maybe, way back when the two of them had lived together, but that had been a while. Back when he had two arms and his hair was all the same color. “Sorry,” said Shiro, and he rubbed his hands together, running his hands across his own stomach. He was a bit at a loss - everything was going strange. “Sorry,” said Hunk. “I’d have said that I’ve got some scar to compare it to, but… I really don’t.” “You mean you haven’t been vivisected?” Shiro's voice was remarkably dry, even by his own standards. “It’s the latest thing.” “Well,” said Hunk, and he shrugged. “What can I say? I’m not exactly a hip and happening kind of dude.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants - wait. He had pockets in his pajama pants? Why didn’t Shiro’s pajama pants have pockets? That wasn’t fair. There was some kind of tender… something in the air. Shiro was pretty sure that if either of them put a foot wrong, they’d both freak out, and he didn’t know if he had it in him right now to deal with Hunk freaking out. He didn’t have the emotional fortitude to deal with anyone else’s problems. … did that make him a jerk? Shiro cleared his throat - there was a lump forming there, and he wasn’t really sure what to do about it, except that his heart was beating very loudly in his ears. All of the blood was rushing to his face. He felt like he was going to pass out. Why was he going to pass out? He’d been vivisected, he’d had many bad times. He was an adult. Adults didn’t pass out from embarrassment over peeing the bed. Good that we agree with that, said some small part of Shiro’s brain, and then he was passing out. * * * Hunk wasn’t expecting Shiro to pass out. Why was Shiro passing out? Hunk didn't really have a chance to keep Shiro's head from hitting the floor - at least he didn't hit the washing machine on his way down, right? (The Castle of Lions had weirdly Earth-like washing machines. Maybe certain shapes were just... optimal for clothes washing). But Hunk got on the floor, and he held Shiro's head in his lap, and tried to remember what you were supposed to do. Elevate the feet? He kept Shiro's head elevated, which was the important part, right? "I'm sorry for making you pass out," Hunk said, and he pushed a piece of white hair off of Shiro's forehead. "Although I guess I'll have to do it when you wake up. Shit, I hope I didn't, like, give you brain damage or anything like that." "I don't think I'd get brain damage just from hitting my head on the floor," Shiro mumbled, although he still wasn't moving much. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at Hunk through his eyelashes. Shiro had very long eyelashes - Hunk had never noticed that before. "I'm sorry for making you pass out," Hunk said. "You didn't make me pass out," Shiro said. "I, uh... I had a nightmare. I think I got overwhelmed." Shiro's face was very pink. It was fetching, in a way that Hunk hadn't expected - he kind of wanted to press his hand against Shiro's face, feel just how hot the skin would get. "You wanna talk about it?" Hunk tucked a piece of hair behind Shiro's ear. "Not particularly," Shiro said, although he was making no move to get up. "Fair enough," said Hunk. "Although, uh, I can keep you company, if you're really feeling it." Shiro blushed harder. "I mean," he said, "if you're offering it. I think, uh... I think my mattress might still be a bit damp." "You can sleep in my bed," Hunk said. "If you want to sleep, I mean. If you don't want to, that's fine too." Shiro passed a hand over his face, and he sighed, a long, slow sigh. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble," he said quietly. "Or too weird." "I've got, like, a billion little nieces and nephews and cousins," said Hunk. "You won't be the first person to sleep in bed with me after wetting the bed." "Gee, thanks," said Shiro, and he sat up, slowly, rubbing the back of his head. He looked very tired. "Of course," said Hunk, and he grinned at Shiro. "You want to hand over your wet pants, you can go shower, then come back to my room?" "... I don't have anything to wear," Shiro said, and he looked even more embarrassed. "I didn't, uh... I didn't think to grab any clothes when I was on my way to the... to the laundry room." "Right," said Hunk, and he cleared his throat. "Well, uh, you can wear my shirt to... to the bathroom, and then at the bathroom they've got towels, so you can just wear that. It'll be a little, y'know, sloppy, but who's gonna see it, right?" "If Pidge sees me, she'll never let me live it down," said Shiro, his tone gloomy. "She's elbow deep in some robot guts," said Hunk in what he hoped was a reassuring tone of voice. "So did you strip your bed?" He was using the same tone of voice that he used when one of said little cousins wet the bed, he realized. Certain things seemed to just be on autopilot at this point. "I did," Shiro said, his tone meek. Who knew Shiro could do meek? "Right," said Hunk. "So now you have to take off your pajama pants, and then you can wear my shirt and go shower. Okay, buddy?" "Right," said Shiro, and he stood up slowly, rubbing the back of his head. He looked very sheepish. "I hope this doesn't make you judge me for all of this, or think that I'm not a good leader or whatever." "I mean," said Hunk, "I literally throw up in just about every moving vehicle I'm in when I'm not in my lion, so I can't really judge anyone for their body doing dumb stuff, can I?" "I guess you've got a point there," Shiro admitted. "When you put it like that, I mean." "Exactly," said Hunk, then realized that Shiro was fiddling with the waistband of his pajama pants and looked faintly embarrassed. "Oh! Right! I'll turn around, hold on." There was rustling behind Hunk, and it was taking effort not to turn around and just... stare, because, well. It was Shiro. Even smelling faintly of drying piss and clearly disoriented from a nightmare, Shiro was still Shiro, and Shiro was fucking gorgeous. But there was a time and a place for this type of thing, and this clearly wasn't it. So he shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking on the balls of his feet, looking up at the ceiling. There was a muffled sound, then; "can I have that shirt now, please?" Shiro's voice was plaintive. Hunk pulled his own shirt up and off, holding it awkwardly behind himself. There was something vaguely embarrassing about standing here without a shirt on, but, well... if Shiro was willing to do it, than so was he. "Thanks," said Shiro, then; "you can turn around now." "Right," said Hunk, and he did so. His shirt... well, it dangled. It almost looked like a dress on Shiro, and wow, but that was an idea. Shiro in a dress. ... now was not the time to have a boner. It was not, no matter how much his dick seemed to be into the idea. There was a time and a place for that type of thing, and this was very much not it. The shirt covered all the... necessary bits, and went down to around Shiro's thigh. It hid all the things that needed hiding, but it was a near thing. "I'm going to take a shower," said Shiro, and he cleared his throat. "Are you, uh... are you sure about me sleeping with you?" Hunk blushed so hard that he was legitimately worried that he might pass out himself. Because... well, wow. Um. "Yeah," he said faintly. "Yeah, sure. Let's do it." Shiro cleared his throat again, and then he was making his way down the hallway. Hunk tried not to stare at the way the hem of the shirt brushed against the backs of his thighs, although it was a losing battle. Hunk's cock twitched in his pajama pants, and he resisted the urge to squeeze it. Time and a place. Right. Hunk was going to put everything into the washing machine, add the space vinegar, and then he was going to think of unsexy things until Shiro came into his room. Then they'd go to sleep, and everything would be fine. Absolutely fine.* * * Shiro stood under the hot water, staring up into it, and his head throbbed. It hadn't been much of a head injury - it had barely been a tap on the head, the way these things were considered. It had still been uncomfortable to be sure, but he shouldn't have been feeling this shook up about it. Maybe it was because it had happened in front of Hunk. It wasn't as if he'd regularly fainted. He hadn't regularly wet the bed either, and yet. Here he was, washing dried piss off of his belly. At least Hunk seemed to be understanding about the whole mess, which was helpful. He didn't want to deal with this. He didn't want anyone else to find out. What would they even do, if they found out? His stomach twisted into a few more knots. They'd probably judge him as unfit to be a leader, or unfit to... well, be anything. If he was just some baby who peed the bed because of nightmares, how was he to be trusted? ... and then his dick began to get hard. Shiro glared down at it, eyebrows drawn together. He was embarrassed, he was possibly ruining any chance of ever being respected again, and his dick had just decided to get hard. Maybe it was the proximity - it had been such a long time since he'd been any kind of close with another human being the way he'd been close with Hunk. And Hunk was a good looking guy, although Shiro always felt some sort of way about it. He was, technically, in charge of Hunk - it didn't feel right for him to be lusting after his subordinate. Although it wasn't always entirely that simple, and he knew that logically. Still. Shiro pressed his face into the white tile, the coolness of it leeching into his skin, and he groaned. This stuff had been simpler when he'd been back on Earth. Urgh. He could give in to temptation, jerk himself off so that he didn't possibly get a hard on when he was sharing a bed with Hunk. Although was jerking of to stave off the possible hard on as bad as admitting that you expected to get a hard on? ... Shiro was overthinking this, and he was aware of that, in some distant way, but he was aware of a lot of things. He was so damn tired - tired in his body, tired in his soul. The scar on his belly was flushing bright red from the hot water, and he ran a finger along it - the seam of it was rough under his fingers, and that was... strange. He was covered in scars, and he counted himself faintly lucky that he could at least remember getting this one. Although was that a healthy way of looking at it? He sighed again, and he grabbed more soap, beginning to scrub himself down a bit harder this time, in hopes of discouraging his boner. It would go away on his own, he'd get on with his evening, he'd go to sleep in Hunk's bed, it would be awkward but ultimately rewarding. It would all be fine. Absolutely fine. * * * Shiro showed up in Hunk's room with a towel around his waist and a second towel around his shoulders. His short hair was standing on end from being toweled vigorously, and his skirt was flushed from the hot water. "Hi," said Hunk. "Hi," said Shiro. He looked less anxious, at least - Hunk had been legitimately worried that the guy would have some kind of panic attack. Although now his face was doing something. "I just realized that I forgot to get any of my own clothes." "It's fine," Hunk assured Shiro. "I've got extra stuff. You can just borrow it for the night." The idea of Shiro wearing his clothes was... well. It was pretty fucking hot, no two ways about it. "Thanks," said Shiro, and his expression was borderline scary with the relief. "I'm sorry, you must think -" "One of my uncles was in a war," Hunk said, interrupting Shiro. He hadn't thought about this in a long time, but, well. "He was... he didn't experience anything half as horrible as what you did, but he's still... he had trouble sleeping with the light on. He didn't like sleeping alone either. He got a few big dogs to keep him company. They helped him sleep, and they usually woke him up if he was having a bad dream." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Are you offering to be my... emotional support dog?" Shiro looked embarrassed as soon as the words left his mouth, but he grinned when Hunk let out a snort of laughter. "I was thinking emotional support lion, personally," said Hunk. "Since we're all technically lions, right?" "I feel like an emotional support lion would be a bit of a pain to bring along to parties," said Shiro. He turned around, and he dropped his towel. Hunk flushed, looking down at his own lap. Shit. He already had a boner, but also... wow. He'd caught sight of a bit of the curve of Shiro's hips, of the paleness of Shiro's ass. The man was too goddamn beautiful for this world. ... well, they weren't on any world at present, were they? "What's so funny?" Shiro sounded faintly defensive, and Hunk realized he must have laughed out loud. "Oh," said Hunk. "Uh, nothing. You ever notice your brain going on some weird tangents when you're not entirely paying attention? Or is that just a thing that mine does?" "I think everyone's brain does that," said Shiro, then; "you mind if I take off my prosthetic?" "Yeah, sure, go for it," Hunk said quickly. "Don't wanna weird you out or anything," Shiro said, as he carefully detached it. "It's a prosthetic arm," Hunk said, making a dismissive hand gesture. "It's not like you've got... tentacles or anything." Then he paused, his mind going weird places. "Although tentacles would be pretty fuckin' neat." Shrio snorted, then; "you can look now." "Thanks," said Hunk, and he looked up, to see... Shiro, wearing Hunk's extra pajama pants. They were way too big on him - for all that the two of them were almost the same height, Hunk was a lot more broad, between the fat and the shoulders. The neck of the shirt was falling down one of Shiro's shoulders, and the pants were cinched as tight as they would go. "I look like I'm swimming in these," Shiro said, making a face. "Sorry," said Hunk, although he didn't really mean it. "Nah," said Shiro. "It's fine." He stretched, one arm over his head, the stump of the other one reaching up as well, and Hunk tried not to stare too hard. It wasn't that Hunk had never seen someone missing a limb before - far from it! It just... took a bit of getting used to sometimes. He knew what Shiro looked like with the limb, so seeing him without it took a little getting used to. Shiro yawned, wide enough that his jaw cracked, and Hunk came back to himeslf, more or less. "You ready to go to bed?" Hunk tried to sound casual - as if he wasn't about to get all snuggly with Shiro, which was a simultaneously amazing and terrifying idea. What if he got a boner at the wrong moment? What if Shiro got a boner at the wrong moment? What if it all just turned into one big wrong moment? ... in fairness, Hunk had helped Shiro clean up his piss stained sheets, and caught Shiro when he had passed out. Maybe they were beyond that at this point. "Yeah," said Shiro, and he yawned again. "And, uh... thank you. For all of this. As weird as it is." "It's okay," said Hunk, and he grinned, getting back onto his bed and crowding close to the spot by the wall, his eyes sliding shut. "We've done weirder stuff, probably." "Well, yeah," said Shiro, and then he was climbing into the bed as well, and Hunk was groping around to turn the light off, leaving the two of them in the darkness. It was very quiet, apart from the beating of Hunk's heart, of Shiro's own heart. Apart from the sound of both of their breath. Shiro was lying on his side, the curve of his back against Hunk's arm, and Hunk had to resist the urge to lift his arm up and pull Shiro closer to him, the way he would with anyone else he'd shared a bed with. ... not that he'd really shared a bed with anyone who wasn't either related to him on some level or very young, but still. It occurred to him, belatedly, that this was the first time he'd ever actually slept with someone - he'd had sex before, sure, but actually sleeping with someone? That was a new one. Shiro yawned, and he was going calm, his breath slowing down. At least Hunk being nearby seemed to be helping Shiro relax, right? “Thanks,” Shiro said quietly. “Don’t worry about it,” said Hunk, and he wrapped his arm around Shiro without thinking. There was a moment as the two of them both realized that it had just happened, and then Shiro relaxed into it, cuddling into Hunk’s side. His head rested on Hunk’s chest, and Hunk squeezed Shiro’s side, Shiro’s ribs just under his fingers. “You’re a good guy, Hunk,” said Shiro. His breath was ticklish against Hunk’s side. … Hunk was trying to ignore the way his cock was getting hard. Oh god. There was a time to do this, and this wasn’t it. Oh god. Shiro cuddled in, holding on to Hunk’s side, and Hunk was very… aware. Aware of all the skin pressed together, aware of the warmth of both of their bodies, aware of everything, and he wasn’t sure what to do with that. Shiro sighed, and his other hand stroked along Hunk’s side, fingers ticklish. “I don’t have nightmares that often,” he said quietly. “No?” “No,” said Shiro. “I mean… I have nightmares, obviously, but who doesn’t?” Hunk made a vague reassuring noise. “But they don’t usually… I mean….” “Make you pee the bed?” “... yeah,” said Shiro, and he sighed, a long, deep sound. Hunk squeezed him again. “You’ve… you’ve been through some bad stuff,” he said quietly. “Stuff that I can’t even begin to imagine. Stuff that’s more terrible than anything that anyone should have to live through. And if it does stuff to you, well… it does stuff. Maybe it’s not normal to pee the bed or whatever, but… well, the shit you went through fucked you up.” Hunk sighed, and he was blushing, just a bit. This was more embarrassing than it needed to be. Being this emotionally open was… complicated. Scary. “Thanks,” said Shiro. “I do appreciate it.” Hunk pressed a nervous kiss to the top of Shiro’s head, and then he closed his eyes. “We’re going to end up getting attacked by something,” he said, his voice low with sleep. “Probably,” Shiro said into Hunk’s neck. It was ticklish. "That's paladin life," Hunk said drowsily. He was already almost completely asleep. "Could be worse," Shiro said, and then Hunk was down for the count. * * * Hunk woke up to an empty bed and a little note, scribbled on the back of a napkin - thanks - S. He smiled at it in spite of himself, rubbing the back of his neck, and then went about the business of getting up. He had shit he needed to do. There was always shit that needed doing.* * * Shiro pissed the bed again, after their next mission. It wasn't his fault! It very much wasn't - he had another nightmare. He didn't remember anything from it, except running and screaming and then pain, the kind of pain that made him wish he was dead, and then he was awake, sitting up in bed, his sheets wet. Oh. Oh god, not again. Shiro's mind was still reeling with panic - it was like some kind of small, furry animal, scrabbling to get out of his chest, up his throat, rising up in his throat like bile. He was going to be sick, he was going to die, he was going to - Shiro wasn't even thinking, as he got up and out of his bed and made his way out of his bunk, still in his wet pajamas. He had to... what did he have to do? He had to find Hunk. That was what he had to do. It had worked out the last time. It would work out this time. Some distant part of Shiro's mind was yelling at him, telling him that he was acting weird, that he needed to get ahold of himself. He ignored it, as he made his way towards Hunk's room at a near run. * * * Hunk was woken up by someone hammering at his door. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, his head full of fog, and then adrenaline kicked in. Shit. Someone was attacking the castle. It took him a few seconds to realize that anyone who would attack the castle probably wouldn't knock on the door. So Hunk, still in his pajamas, made his way to his door. He opened it, and nearly got punched in the chest by Shiro. Who smelled like piss. Hm. "Shiro?" Hunk tried to keep his voice gentle, although his heart was beating very loudly in his ears. "Hunk," Shiro said, and his voice was rough. "Am I... where am I?" "Well," said Hunk, "if you wanna go cosmically, I think we're near the Oankali's planet. If you're, uh... a little more local, you're at the Castle of Lions with the other paladins." Shiro kept blinking, looking confused. "What?" "I think you had another nightmare, buddy," Hunk said gently, and he wrinkled his nose. Yeah, Shiro had wet his pants again. "Did you have an accident?" ... welp. He was using the same voice and the same words that he used with the little ones, but he was running on autopilot as much as Shiro was. "Yeah," Shiro said quietly. "I'm sorry." "How about we get you in the shower, then we can change your sheets?" Hunk put a hand on Shiro's shoulder, and Shiro sighed, leaning into it. ... and got Hunk wet. There was actual piss dripping down Shiro's thighs, and Shiro didn't seem to realize it. "Sorry," Shiro said, and his voice cracked. "I had a... I had another nightmare." "Yeah," said Hunk. "It's okay. How about we go take a shower, hm?" "Are you mad?" Shiro rubbed the back of his neck - he was clutching at Hunk's shirt, his knuckles turning white. "I'm not mad," Hunk assured Shiro."We all have nightmares sometimes. And accidents." "Do you?" Shiro was looking into Hunk's face, and there was... something in the back of his eyes. Something delicate. "I haven't in a while," said Hunk, "but other things come out of me. I get motion sick really easily, remember?" "Right," said Shiro, and he sighed, pressing his forehead into Hunk's shoulder. He wasn't wearing his prosthetic, and it the stump of his arm pressed into Hunk's chest. "I'm sorry." At least he seemed to be coming back to himself, a little bit. "It's okay," Hunk said, and he patted Shiro on the shoulder. "C'mon, buddy, let's go shower." "Right," said Shiro. "Shower." Then; "can you take it with me?" Hunk's heart skipped a beat. He was... he was being invited to shower with Shiro. Oh god. In a weird context, admittedly, but still. It was a thing that was happening. Um. "Sure," Hunk said, and his voice only squeaked a little bit. "Sure, let's do it." "Thanks," said Shiro. "Again. I mean. Uh." “Don’t worry about it,” Hunk said, yet again. This was beginning to feel repetitious. It was probably getting repetitious, but it must have been worse for Shiro. * * * The showers in the Castle of the Lions were huge and echoing - lots of white marble, which probably shouldn’t have been surprisingly, considering how much white marble featured over the rest of it. Shiro was inhabiting a space a little bit to the left of himself - he should have been more embarrassed, shouldn’t he? He should have been… something. He didn’t know. Hunk was his usual friendly self as he bustled around - he'd gone back to strip the bed with Shiro, and this time he'd remembered to get a clean pair of pajamas for Shiro to change into. He was keeping up a stream of talk - some of it, admittedly, faintly incoherent, but then again, it was pretty late. Shiro let himself be guided - he was still dissociating something fierce, it seemed. It had happened to him a few times, when he'd gotten back to Earth, but this was... well, it was a lot different. For one thing, the doctors hadn't started to ramble about quiche while they undressed him. "So I'm thinking that there has to be something with a yellow yolk around here somewhere," said Hunk, and now he was crouching in front of Shiro, taking off Shiro's wet socks. "I don't know if the yellow yolk is actually, like, necessary, but it doesn't really feel like a real quiche unless it's got that slight yellow color, y'know? And then you'd want to add mushrooms, and I dunno about you, but I don't trust any mushroom that hasn't been tested, because that's how you end up dying of some weird poison, or maybe tripping so hard that you end up seeing the face of gods that don't even exist yet." Was Hunk uncomfortable? Shiro had noticed that the guy tended to ramble when anxious. Shit. "Am I... are you okay?" Shiro wrenched himself up out of whatever fog it was that he was drowning in, to blink down at Hunk. Hunk, who was crouched in front of him, fingers in his waistband. "Hm?" Hunk blinked at Shiro, his eyes still sleepy, looking up through his bangs. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" "You're babbling," said Shiro. He probably should have told Hunk that he was fine, that he didn't need any help with anything, that he could take it from here. But he didn't. He stood there, and he let Hunk pull his pajama pants down, his boxers. He should have been embarrassed at Hunk seeing his dick up close like this, but... well, who cared? He was less embarrassed by his dick than he was by the scar where he'd been vivisected, and Hunk had seen that already, so who cared? "I'm tired," Hunk said, then; "that doesn't mean you need to apologize. This is fine. I promise. Okay?" "... okay," said Shiro. "Legs up, please," said Hunk, and Shiro leaned against him, hand on Hunk's shoulders. They were very broad, and his fingers bunched in the fabric of Hunk's pajama shirt. "Anyway, you look like you need someone to just talk to you," Hunk said, and he looked faintly embarrassed. "I know... I know how it can be, to be in your own head like that." "I'm sorry I'm so gross," Shiro burst out. Hunk shrugged. "It's just piss," he said. "I mean, it's a little gross, but it's not like... y'know, acid that's eating through my skin, or something like that. I've been peed on before. I'll probably get peed on again. That's just kinda what life can be like. I learned to roll with it a while ago." "Why do you think you'll get peed on again?" Shiro looked at Hunk, one eyebrow up. "I mean," said Hunk, and he cleared his throat. "I, uh... I'm around little kids a lot. Some of them are just like that sometimes." "Right," said Shiro. "Not that, uh, if my partner was super into the idea of it, I would say no," Hunk said. "Peeing on me. Not kids, obviously." "Dig up," said Shiro, smiling crookedly. That startled a laugh out of Hunk, and it echoed through the bathroom, bouncing off of all of that white tile. "I'm doing my best," he told Shiro. Shiro grinned at him, pleased in spite of himself, and he sighed, scrubbing at his face with his hand. "You don't need to stay," he said, although he wished he wasn't. But it wasn't right, to make Hunk just stay here with him. Especially when Hunk was being so nice to stay with him in the first place. "Yeah, but I want to," Hunk countered, then paused. "Unless you don't want me to...?" "No," said Shiro. "No, I want... I want you to stay. I just don't want you to feel like you've got an... obligation or whatever." "It's all good," Hunk promised Shiro, standing up. He tossed the wet pajamas into the nearby chute, which would send it to the laundry room. "I like helping you. Okay?" "... okay," said Shiro, and he sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me lately." "Maybe you're finally getting a chance to freak out," Hunk said, as he pulled his own shirt up and off. His chest was broad, and he didn't have much in the way of chest hair. Shiro wanted to run his hands along it, feel the muscles and fat. "What do you mean?" "Well," said Hunk, and he stood there without any shirt on, his hands shoved into the pockets of his damp pajama pants, "you haven't really had a chance to breathe since you got back from the business with the Galra, right?" That business with the Galra, Shiro thought. As if I went on a bad trip. "No," said Shiro, "things have been a bit... well, a bit busy, what with one thing and another." "Right," said Hunk. "So you're finally having a chance to breathe, right? We're not currently being attacked by anything, we've got stuff on the horizon that we're worried about, but in this moment, we're just kinda... chilling out, apart from the problems that are coming up every week or so. Am I correct?" Shiro nodded. Something was starting to click into place. "So," Hunk said, "your brain is finally getting the chance to process, well... everything, and there's been a lot of everything, so maybe it's just going a little overboard." He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable for the first time, and Shiro realized that Hunk's eyes had stayed up around his face and shoulders. "Do you, uh... do you need anything else?" "Shower with me?" It popped out of Shiro's mouth before he really had a chance to think it through. Hunk looked surprised. "Are you sure?" "I don't want to be alone right now," said Shiro, which was true, although that wasn't entirely true. He wanted Hunk, specifically. He wanted Hunk to keep him company, to keep talking to him about quiche and whatever else. Shiro didn't want to be alone with his own thoughts right now, and Hunk was such a reasonable guy - such a steadying presence - that Shiro didn't want to lose that. Was that a weird thing? What with the age difference, or the fact that he was, in theory, Hunk's superior. And yet. "If you're sure," said Hunk, and his face went soft around the edges. "Let me just...." And then Hunk was just disrobing. Not even any embarrassment or anything like that - just yanking his pajama pants down, and oh my, Hunk wasn't wearing any underwear. Shiro tried not to stare - he'd seen Hunk naked a few times, what with changing rooms and things like that - but it was still a little... well, there was something surreal and faintly illicit about it all. Maybe because it all smelled a little bit like piss, a little bit like the bathroom cleaner that Coran used. Maybe because it was so late at night and they were both practically giddy with exhaustion. "Thank you," Shiro said, his voice very quiet. "It's all good," Hunk assured Shiro. "Now... let's go get cleaned up. Sound like a plan?" Shiro nodded, suddenly shy, the inside of his head going quiet. Wonderfully, mercifully quiet.* * * Shiro was surprisingly pliable. Also twenty different shades of gorgeous, but Hunk had known that from the get-go. Seeing it in full technicolor (as it were) was a whole different matter. It was taking a lot of effort not to get a full erection - he couldn't hold off getting a half chub, but that was kinda just... what happened sometimes. His heart was beating very fast, but he could at least hide that with doing stuff. When in doubt, look busy. Be busy. So he talked, and he soaped up Shiro, who was very quiet. Shiro would give one word answers, or nod occasionally. His eyes were sleepy, and he would yawn occasionally, leaning against Hunk. He lifted his arm when he was told to, he let Hunk wash his belly, his back. Hunk paused when he reached the spot right under Shiro's navel. "Do you want me to, uh...." "If you don't mind," Shiro said, and his voice was coming from a long way off. "Shiro? You in there, buddy?" Hunk was using the "talking to the babies" voice again, although he wasn't sure how to turn it off. "Yeah," Shiro said, and he blinked at Hunk, his expression faintly dazed. "Sorry." "Nothing to be sorry about," Hunk assured him. "You just, uh... you look a little out of it." "Sorry," Shiro said, and he meant it. "I'm just tired, I think." "Understandable," said Hunk. "It's late. Do you, uh... you do you want anything from me?" ... was there really a way that you could ask someone if they were trying to get a hand job from you, or something like that? No, that wouldn't be right. That would be way too weird. He was just being presumptuous. "It's, uh... it's nice. Letting go," Shiro said, his voice very quiet. "Having you take care of me. I know... I know that everyone expects me to be the leader, and to just know what I'm doing, but it's nice to have someone who doesn't... doesn't expect it all the time." "You're feeling overwhelmed," Hunk said, in the tone of someone solving a great problem. "Right," Shiro agreed. "Do you want me to... I mean, would you like me to wash all of you?" Was this some kind of offer for sexual stuff that Hunk wasn't entirely sure of? Did he want it to be? Hunk wasn't even sure. "If you're... if you're okay with it," Shiro said, his voice very quiet. "Can I... can I ask for one other thing?" “What’s up?” Was Shiro going to proposition him? Oh god, Hunk didn’t know which he wanted more - a yes or a no. “Can you… can you just keep talking, please?” Shiro bit his lip, and he looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I know I’m making this awkward enough already.” Hunk shrugged. “We’re on a spaceship that’s also a castle in the middle of space,” he pointed out. “This is all weird. So do you want me to wash your junk?” “Oh. Uh, yes, please,” said Shiro, and he was blushing harder. Hunk smiled, grateful his own blush wasn’t visible, and then he went back to talking. He wasn’t even thinking about what he was talking about, honestly, just letting the words flow out of him like so much water. “So I’m thinking, if I can get a quiche done well, I’ll make one for Coran. He seems like the kind of guy who’d like quiche.” Hunk was washing Shiro’s dick. He wasn’t touching it directly, but he could feel the shape of it in his hand, through the fabric of the washcloth. It was thick and hot - not as hot as the water beating down on them, but still. It was enough to make Hunk’s own cock start to swell, but there was a time and a place for that kind of thing. The scar that was down the middle of Shiro’s torso was starting to turn a dark red, no doubt from the heat. Hunk wanted to kiss it, except that wasn’t a thing that you thought about when your friend was in front of you and vulnerable, both emotionally and physically. Was one ever as vulnerable as after wetting your pants? Probably not. Hunk washed Shiro’s thighs, then crouched down to wash Shiro’s legs, carefully. The steam was filling the small space, and the water echoed. "I don't want you to think less of me," Shiro said, his voice very quiet. "Why would I think less of you? Foot up, please." Shiro's hand was on Hunk's shoulder, leaning heavily on him, and Hunk washed along the bottom of Shiro's foot, carefully. He fought off the urge to tickle Shiro's foot, as tempting as it was - there was a time and a place for that kind of thing, and this wasn't it. If there'd ever be a time and a place for that kind of thing, with Shiro. ... the guy was Hunk's commander, but all Hunk wanted to do was kiss his belly and tickle him. Well, okay, he also wanted to suck Shiro's cock, which was still erect and almost in his face, but that was a totally normal thing to want, right? It was a pretty gorgeous cock, too - just thick enough that it would probably fill Hunk's mouth to be satisfying, without being obnoxious about it. "I'm -" "If you say that you're a grown adult wetting the bed again, I am going to stop arguing and just agree with you," Hunk said. "You're a traumatized veteran of who even knows what, which is a totally valid reason to sometimes pee the bed because of nightmares. Or even if you weren't having nightmares and were just peeing the bed for... for fun, it'd still be your business. And I'm helping you because I care about you, and we're friends, and that's what friends do for each other. Because god knows I've gotten sick enough times and you helped me clean up, and it's not like you were telling me off for that or anything like that." Shiro looked down at Hunk, and it was hard to read his face. "I was going to say that I think I'm getting back to myself," Shiro said, and he was grinning a bit. "But that was a really good speech." "Good," said Hunk. "I meant it, too." "I can't imagine you saying anything that you didn't mean," said Shiro. Hunk looked up at Shiro, and this... this was an odd angle, to be sure, to be having some kind of deep emotional angle. It was a weird angle to look up at someone naked and not have their dick in your mouth, come to think of it. But he was probably thinking too deeply about this. ... he really wanted Shiro's dick in his mouth, but this probably wasn't the time or the place for it. "Thanks," said Hunk. "I, uh, I strive to be genuine in my every interaction." Although the way he said that made him sound a bit like a robot. Nice one, Hunk. Shiro grinned at him, and then his expression went shy. "Sorry I'm all...." He indicated his dick, looking embarrassed. "I'm choosing to take it as a compliment," Hunk said, which was true. "And anyway, I'm not, uh... I'm not one to judge." He made a vague gesture at his own hard on. Shiro's eyebrow went up. "Oh," he said, then, "um. I know that it seems bad taste to proposition you after you've literally -" "Yes," Hunk interrupted, before his mouth had a chance to catch up with his brain. "I mean, not yes that it's bad taste, but if you're propositioning me, then yes." "Are you sure this isn't just some kind of... pity thing?" Shiro looked uncomfortable now. "I have wanted to jump your bones since the first time I saw you," said Hunk, which was true. "Well, maybe not the first time. But I had a crush on you when I saw you on TV, when I was younger, and now you're here and you're real but you're also not, like, perfect and that makes you better, although shit, maybe I shouldn't have said that actually, crap." "Hunk," Shiro said, "what do you want?" He somehow managed to not sound annoyed as he said it, which was probably a bit of his commander-ness taking over." "I want to take care of you," said Hunk, which wasn't what he'd originally meant to say, but it was what popped out of his mouth. Shiro opened his mouth, then closed it. He was blushing. "Do you think that I can't... that I can't take care of myself?" His voice had gone quiet. "I don't think that," said Hunk, and he sat back on his heels, still looking up at Shiro. His knees were going to be killing him by the time he went back to bed. "But I care about you, and I want you to feel good. I like to take care of people in general. It's one reason why making food is... well, what it is, to me." "Right," said Shiro. "Sorry. I'm just...." "Let me take care of you," Hunk said, and he tried to pitch his voice a little lower. His hand went over to Shiro's flank, and he ran his hand over it, gently, squeezing it. Shiro sighed, and he leaned back into the white tile. "It's been a while," he admitted. "Has it?" Hunk moved his hand closer to Shiro's groin, his finger pressing into the dark, curly hair at the base of Shiro's cock. "Yeah," Shiro said, so quietly that Hunk almost couldn't hear it over the drumming of the water. "I've been worried that... you know, I might lose control, maybe... pee on someone or something like that." "Just warn me if you think that's going to happen, okay?" Hunk wrapped his hand around the base of Shiro's cock, and Shiro shuddered, going very stiff. "Will do," Shiro said, his voice thick. He rested his hand on top of Hunk's head, fingers tangling in the thick hair there. Hunk made an encouraging noise, and he opened his mouth wider, letting the head of Shiro's cock rest on his lower lip. He took Shiro's cock into his mouth, and Shiro shuddered, his hips rolling forward. Not much - just enough to push the head of his cock a little deeper into Hunk's mouth - but enough that the head was resting on Hunk's tongue, and Hunk was beginning to suck on it, the tip of his tongue tracing along Shiro's frenulum. Shiro was moaning, his fingers tight in Hunk's hair, and his thighs were like marble. He sighed when Hunk kneaded at them, and he almost sobbed, when Hunk took him deeper, tongue tracing along the vein on the underside of it. he was panting, and the water thudding down on the both of them was comforting, grounding. There was something that was just... nice about being in this small, steam filled space, just the two of them. Hunk could smell Shiro - musky, a little bit of sweat, soap. He didn't smell like piss, he didn't smell like fear, he didn't smell like anything but himself, and it was enough to make Hunk's toes curl. Hunk had his hands on Shiro's hips, pushing Shiro into the wall, and Shiro moaned, his head tilting back, the crown of it pressed against the wall. His hips were twitching now, and he was moaning a little louder. "Hunk, god," Shiro mumbled. "Thank you for this, thank you for... thank you for taking care of me, thank you for... oh god, fuck, thank you...." Hunk grinned, inasmuch as he could around the dick in his mouth, and he sucked a little harder, his cheeks hollowing out. He didn't have the most experience with blowjobs, although he wasn't exactly a slouch at it, either. Shiro was very much enjoying himself, and that was the important part, right? Shiro was trembling, and Shiro was making desperate, quiet noises. Shiro was beginning to twitch his hips, just a bit, and he was moaning now, still making little half moans, mumbles, bits and pieces of little noises that Hunk couldn't identify, except that they were clearly enough for Shiro. Shiro went completely stiff when Hunk took him all the way down - down to the root, with Hunk's nose pressed against his belly, the head of his cock twitching down the back of Hunk's throat. ... okay, so Hunk had to pull off and cough a fair bit after he'd done that, because he wasn't very good at deep throating, but the way Shiro had gone completely stiff sure had been impressive, right? Hunk looked up at Shiro, his eyes full of tears, his own cock still throbbing against his belly like something painful, and he smiled. "God," Shiro said, "you're... amazing." He cupped Hunk's cheek, his thumb pressing down on Hunk's lower lip, and Hunk opened his mouth, let Shiro's thumb in. "Thanks," Hunk said, and his voice only cracked a little bit. "I do my best." "How can you be so good at doing that, if you get motion sick so easily?" "What's me getting motion sick have to do with me giving head?" Hunk raised an eyebrow. "Just, y'know, it's... it involves having stuff in your mouth. I know you throw up easily." "Yeah, that's from... well, motion sickness," said Hunk. "Not the same thing." "Evidently," said Shiro. "Sorry." "Don't be," said Hunk, and he kissed the head of Shiro's cock. "You don't have to be sorry for anything, okay?" "... okay," said Shiro. He opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something, and then he closed it, looking embarrassed. "What's up?" Hunk squeezed Shiro's hip, just a bit, and Shiro sighed, leaning back into the wall. "You can be more... more forceful, if you want to," Shiro said, and he was clearly choosing his words carefully. He looked embarrassed. "If you want." "More forceful," Hunk echoed. "Like what?" "Like... just... taking what you want," Shiro said in a rush. "If you'd be comfortable with that, obviously." "Do you mean like... like consent stuff?" Hunk was trying to remember what he knew about that kind of thing. Not much, truth be told. Not that he had anything against it, but for the most part, his various sexual encounters had been about... well, sex. Not anything particularly kinky. "No, no," Shiro said quickly. "Sorry, forget I said anything." "No, I want you to tell me," Hunk said, and he put a bit more firmness in his voice than he would have ordinarily. Shiro flushed, and it was clearly not just from the heat of the shower. "I just, uh... I meant I like... I like it when people tell me... tell me what to do." "What kind of tell you what to do?" Hunk's head was spinning. So Shiro wanted... what? To be dominated? For Hunk to fuck him, here and now? Shit. "Just... in general. While having sex, mainly," said Shiro, and he looked a bit like he wanted to die. "I like... I like it when people tell me how they want me to fuck them or how they want to be fucked. If they want to do things to me, or how they want to do them." "Right," said Hunk. "But I don't really like meanness," Shiro added quickly. "Makes sense," said Hunk. "I don't like being mean, so it works out." He laughed, self conscious, and Shiro's face fell. "No," Hunk said quickly. "I'm not, uh, I'm not laughing at you, I promise. I just feel... y'know, a little weird. I never saw this going... like this." "But you saw it before?" Shiro raised an eyebrow. He looked amused. "I mean, I imagined it," said Hunk, "duh, considering how gorgeous you are -" "Thanks," Shiro said, and now he looked uncomfortable, avoiding Hunk's eyes. "Hey," Hunk said sharply, "I mean it. I know you're... self conscious about stuff, and I can't blame you, because the shit you went through would fuck with anyone. But you're not, like, ugly or anything like that. You're gorgeous. You're super hot. And I want to suck your cock until you come from it. You think you can do that?" Wow. This was a new side of Hunk, and it was bossy and in charge. Not that Hunk was going to complain. It was kinda nice to be bossy and in charge, for a change. Boss Hunk had a nice ring to it, didn't it? "Yes... sir," said Shiro, although he'd looked like he was planning on saying a different word, before substituting it. "That's what I thought," said Hunk, and then he leaned forward, taking the head of Shiro's cock into his mouth again. Shiro was trembling, just a bit, and Hunk sucked a little extra hard, just to feel Shiro tremble a little harder, as Shiro's knees went weak against the wall. Shiro's cock was beginning to swell in Hunk's mouth, and Shiro's hand was very tight in Hunk's hair. He was moaning, and his hips were moving forward in awkward little thrusts. Hunk did his best not to gag, still bobbing his head and sucking as hard as he could, his tongue flicking out to jab at the tip, or swirl along the head. He liked the way that Shiro was shaking, liked the way that Shiro was beginning to make some more noises, desperate little noises. C'mon, enjoy yourself, Hunk thought, and he looked up at Shiro through his eyelashes, that look that had always gotten past partners super worked up in the past. Sure enough, Shiro gasped, and his hips jerked forward once again, his hips pumping. "I'm gonna come," he gasped. "Hunk, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna... please, Da - Hunk, please, I'm -" And then he came. He came down Hunk's throat, and it was thick and salty - when was the last time that Shiro had actually had an orgasm? Hunk hummed around the cock in his mouth, and he sucked, hard enough that Shiro sobbed, then went completely limp, weakly shoving Hunk away, then sinking down onto the floor. "Holy fuck," Shiro said, and his voice was rough. "You're... really good at that." "I do my best," Hunk said, trying not to look too proud of himself. He was stupidly proud of his oral skills, he could at the very least admit to that, right? Shiro rolled his eyes, and then he leaned forward, kissing Hunk on the mouth. It was a nervous kiss, and for some reason that made Hunk's stomach twist up even more, which was really funny - there was something ridiculous about the fact that he'd had Shiro's come in his mouth, and here they were kissing. Shiro sighed, and he reached between Hunk's legs. "Let me... let me return the favor," he said, as his hand wrapped around Hunk's cock. "Only if you want to," Hunk said weakly. "I mean...." "I wouldn't offer it without actually being interested in it," Shiro scolded, and Hunk flushed. "You're right," said Hunk. "Sorry." He sighed, and he tried not to curl too far forward when Shiro's hand curled around his cock, squeezing it. "Just enjoy yourself," Shiro said, and he shot Hunk a sweet smile, which made Hunk's heart skip a beat, his stomach clenching and his cock swelling in Shiro's hand. "This... isn't going to last very long," said Hunk. "I'm not going to last very long." Shiro looked downright smug now. "I mean," he said, "I like to think I'm pretty good...." No way was this the same guy who had pissed the bed and been shaking, not even half an hour earlier. No way. It couldn't be. But it was. "People contain multitudes," Hunk burst out, as Shiro's palm swirled over the head of his cock, fingers trailing along the sides. "Is this a way for you to say that you've had a lot of sex?" Shiro's tone was light, but Hunk still snickered, still humping into the circle of Shiro's fingers. "God no," said Hunk. "I've... I'm not a virgin," he added, and then he gave a hiccuping, breathless giggle. "Although when I say it like that it kinda sounds like I am one, I'm just in denial." "There's no judgement if you are," said Shiro, and his hand moved lower, to hold Hunk's balls in his palm, rolling them, then going back to Hunk's slick shaft. "I'm not," said Hunk, then; "mmm, do that again, please." Shiro repeated the tricky wrist movement, and Hunk moaned loud enough that it echoed through the whole bathroom - he covered his mouth with one hand, embarrassed, and Shiro looked downright smug. "You're... fuck, Shiro," Hunk said, and he looked down at the hand on his cock, then up into Shiro's face - it was weird, to think that this thing that he'd been fantasizing about was somehow happening. Unbidden, the look on Shiro's face when Hunk had opened the door came to mind - the sense memory of smelling piss, the sensation of holding Shiro in his arms.... and he came. The orgasm just dropped on his head like an anvil in an old cartoon, squashing him flat, and he was shaking, completely lost to it. His cock spat come across Shiro's hand, and his hips jittered forward, leaving him completely limp and floppy on the bathroom floor, panting into the steamy air. "Fuck," he said, and his voice cracked. "How you doing?" Shiro sounded faintly worried, and he shot Hunk an anxious look. "Great," Hunk said, and he grinned at Shiro - he was aware that he was practically beaming, but he wasn't really sure how to turn it off. "Fuckin'... amazing." "I'm glad," said Shiro. "Although we should probably finish washing soon - I feel like we're gonna use up all the hot water." "Is that even an option around here?" Hunk stood up slowly, and he groaned, his knees popping. "It probably could happen, if we tried," Shiro said, and he yawned. He looked exhausted. "Anything can happen," Hunk said solemnly, and then the two of them made eye contact and burst out laughing. There was just something so ridiculous at all of this - how could they not?* * * Shiro slept in Hunk's bed again - he couldn't help it. Hunk was just so warm, so big, so... comforting. And after they'd been intimate like that, was it really that weird to share a bed together? They parted ways with minimal awkwardness the next morning, and Shiro made vague plans to do something nice and... possibly romantic for Hunk, the next time they had a free moment. Of course, they didn't have a clear moment for a good long while - something was always happening, and they were always needed to be doing something. It was exhausting, to be sure, but it was the life of a paladin. Until Shiro woke up with wet sheets again. And again. For four nights in a row, he pissed the bed, and it was... well, to be blunt, it was getting ridiculous. He knew, logically, that he had to do something about it, but... what could he do? Shiro stood in the shower one night, washing the dried piss off of his belly, and he fought off the urge to go bug Hunk about it. He wanted Hunk in here with him. He wanted to kiss Hunk again - more than just the little pecks that they were sharing when they passed in the hallway, or the frenzied, harried kissing after a mission. He wanted to be kissed by Hunk, be taken care of by Hunk. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but... well. It wasn't like he'd never been submissive before. He just... usually wasn't older than the person he was submitting to. Or their superior officer. He wasn't sure what to make of that. He was probably overthinking all of this, honestly, but then again, maybe he wasn't. Something was clearly bothering him enough that he was peeing the bed every night, and he didn't know how to deal with it. ... he'd get a physical, see if there was something physically wrong with him. Which meant that he'd have to ask Coran about it. Which would be exceedingly embarrassing, but then again, it wasn't as if Coran would judge him too hard for it, right? Coran knew what PTSD could do to people. Or whatever it was that Alteans got. * * * Shiro got a physical. He didn't tell Coran the details, although Coran had probably figured that something was wrong, considering how much laundry Shiro had been doing as of late. "You seem to be in tip top health, judging from these books on human biology that Pidge put in the database," Coran said, after he'd given Shiro a thorough examination. He had very warm hands, thankfully. "Thanks," Shiro said, and he rubbed the back of his neck, opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. How was he going to frame this question? "What seems to be the problem?" Coran looked at Shiro with his bright eyes, his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against a wall. "Nothing you need to tell Allura about," Shiro said quickly. "I assure you, anything you tell me will stay private," said Coran. "I'm not going to go yammer your secrets to anyone who goes walking by!" "I've been... is there any sort of... space thing that could possibly make someone... wet the bed sometimes?" Shiro wanted to die. This was, quite possibly, the most embarrassing moment of his life, and that was impressive. He'd thought he had more embarrassing moments than that. Coran's expression went soft, and there was something about it that made Shiro's jaw clench. "No," said Coran, "but it can be a response to -" "Trauma," Shiro finished the sentence for him, and tried not to look too annoyed. "Yeah, that's what Hunk said." "Hunk's been helping you?" Coran looked at Shiro, one eyebrow up. Shiro flushed. "He's, uh...he's been helping me, yeah," said Shiro. He had a feeling that Coran knew about the two of them messing around. Coran gave off an aura of knowing everything going on around the castle. "Well, good," said Coran, and he nodded. "A very helpful person, Hunk." "Right," said Shiro. "Thanks." "Of course," said Coran, and he patted Shiro on the shoulder. "Take care of yourself, paladin." "I'll do my best," said Shiro, and he gave a weak smile. Welp. He couldn't figure out a way to stop it - he'd stopped drinking before bed, he was setting alarms... it was still happening. So prevention wasn't working. So the next step was... well.* * * Hunk wasn't expecting Shiro to knock on his door in the evening. It had been a long, trying mission - Hunk ached all over, and all he wanted to do was sleep. When he opened his door to see Shiro, he opened his mouth to thank him for the visit but say he wasn't up for a dalliance... only for Shiro to slink in, looking embarrassed. "I need to ask a favor," Shiro said. "Although of course, you're free to say no." "... this isn't going to be you asking me for a blowjob right now or something like that, is it?" Hunk ran a hand through his hair - he'd just showered, and it was still wet and loose. Shiro blinked at him, nonplussed. "I mean, no, I wasn't thinking of that," said Shiro. "I don't think I'm up for that right now." "Right," said Hunk. "Not that I dislike giving you blowjobs - they're fucking great, don't get me wrong, I'm just... very tired." "I am too," said Shiro. "That's, um... that's why I wanted to come over. To ask a favor." "What's the favor?" Hunk sat on his bed, rubbing his eyes. God, he was tired. The most recent mission had involved a whole bunch of running. He didn't have it in him to run like that all the time. "... you know how I've been wetting the bed?" Shiro was holding a bag, and he kept transferring it to one hand to the other. The fabric rustled, just a bit. "That's still happening? I'm sorry," said Hunk. Shiro hadn't come to ask him for help about it since the time they'd showered together. Hunk was a bit surprised to find that he was disappointed. "Yeah," said Shiro. "So I, uh... I bought some... protection. But I can't figure out how to put it on." "Oh," said Hunk. "Diapers?" He said it without thinking, but Shiro froze. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," Hunk said quickly. "I'm sure there are plenty of grown adults who need -" "Dig up," Shiro said, and his expression was somewhere between annoyed and amused. "Right," said Hunk. "Sorry." He cleared his throat. "Do you not, uh... not know how to put one on?" "I know how to put them on a baby," said Shiro, making a face. "I don't know how to put them on myself." "Right," said Hunk, and he cracked his knuckles. "I just happen to be a diapering master, thank you very much." Shiro just looked at him, one eyebrow up. "What?" Hunk rubbed his hands together, self conscious. He was feeling... something, and he wasn't sure what it was, except that there was an interesting sort of heat curling in his belly. "I can't have skills?" "You sure do have a lot of 'em," Shiro agreed. "So, uh, do you mind... do you mind helping me?" He licked his lips, and he looked so embarrassed that Hunk wanted to kiss him, right then and there. So he did, a gentle press of lips on lips, and Shiro sighed, kissing him back, just as gently. "I hope you don't think this is too... something," Shiro said. "I think you're a dude who got tired of doing too much laundry," said Hunk, and he patted Shiro on the hip. "So I, uh... I only really know how to do this for someone lying flat on their back. You okay with that?" "What other ways are there to do this sort of thing?" Shiro handed the bag over to Hunk, the very picture of meekness. "Well," said Hunk, "if you were putting it on yourself, you could, in theory, do it standing up against a wall, I think." "You think?" Shiro paused, and he had his fingers hooked under the waistband of his own pajama pants. "Do I, uh... do you want to take my pants off?" "Do you want me to?" Hunk kept his tone gentle. "No," Shiro said quickly. "I can do it myself." Hunk bit his lip, trying not to smile. He wasn't even sure why he was so endeared, and yet. "The last time I was naked in front of you, I feel like I was a little bit more dignified," Shiro mumbled. Hunk shrugged. "Dignity isn't everything," he pointed out. "It's different for you," Shiro said, and then he closed his mouth, looking embarrassed. "What, because I'm the fat guy who throws up all the time?" Hunk crossed his arms over his chest. He was feeling... something, but he wasn't sure what it was. Maybe he'd finally hit the wall of what he was willing to put up with. Huh. That was an interesting boundary to trip over when the guy you'd given a blowjob to (who you'd admired for who even knew how long) was asking you for help with something so very... personal. "I didn't mean it like that," Shiro said quickly. "So what way did you mean it?" Was that anger, right under Hunk's collarbone? That was impressive. He wasn't used to getting mad like this. Why was this of all things pissing him off, come to think of it? It wasn't as if Shiro had said anything particularly mean, or anything that hadn't been said to Hunk's face before. ... that had to be it. He had thought that Shiro saw him differently, but it turned out... not so much. He was just good ol' Hunk, the guy who liked food too much, who got motion sick if you looked at him sideways. Good for helping out, but not someone who'd ever understand anything about dignity or anything like that. Which left Hunk just filling a role of being supportive, without his own feelings being brought into it. He was here to provide a service, and that was what he'd do, because it was what he did. Hunk helped people. All of these thoughts went through Hunk's mind pretty quickly - a whole bunch of personal revelations, passing through his head like a snap of the fingers. His expression must have changed, because Shiro's own expression went... something. "I should be fine, actually," Shiro said, and he rubbed his hands together. "I'm sorry for bothering you." "Well," Hunk said, and his voice was coming out fairly toneless, "you know me. I'm always here to help." "Right," said Shiro, and then he was walking out of the room, his back stiffer than it really needed to be. Did Shiro get super stiff when he was feeling awkward, instead of slumping the way Hunk did? Hunk watched Shiro go, and then he sat back on his bed, and covered his face with both hands. "Fucked that one up," Hunk said to his room at large. "Good job, self."* * * Shiro lay on his bed, trying not to think of the way that his legs were forced so widely apart and the way he crinkled when he shifted in his bed. The... protection that he'd bought was very thick, and it had been printed with little lions - the latest in adult protection products, the person selling it to him had assured him. They looked like baby diapers, truth be told - Shiro had never given much thought to adult diapers, back on Earth. He had a feeling that they hadn't been printed with... well, cute little animals. Although maybe they were and he just wasn't thinking about it. He'd really done a number on Hunk, hadn't he? That had been a nasty thing to say, though. He really took Hunk for granted, didn't he? They all did. Hunk was just... there. A strong, joking presence, always saying what everyone else was thinking, always there with some kind of reassurance. Shiro had just... gone to him, because where else was he supposed to go during a crisis? Hunk was a guy you could trust, Hunk was a guy who wouldn't laugh at you for a problem. Hunk was a guy who actually gave really good blowjobs, and the anxiety in Shiro's stomach was blending in to the memory of the time in the shower, and Shiro was beginning to get an erection. He glared down the length of his own body. Now was not the time for that. He needed to sleep. He needed to stop worrying about whether he was going to wet the bed, or if he'd fastened it wrong. He needed to just... relax. Go to sleep. And then there was a knock on his door, and panic shot through him. Shit. Shit. He stood up, his hands going to his waist - he was tempted to just yank the diaper off of himself, before he opened the door, but then where would he put it? He didn't have reliable garbage in his room. Actually, come to think of it, what would he have done if it was wet? How was he going to dispose of it then? Shit! Lacking anything else to do, Shiro opened the door. To find Hunk, standing there. "Can, uh, can I come in?" Hunk rubbed his hands together, shifting from foot to foot. He looked embarrassed. "Sure," said Shiro, although he wasn't entirely sure why Hunk was here. Hopefully he wasn't going to tell Shiro off or anything like that, although as far as Shiro knew, Hunk wasn't the type to do that. Still. "So," Hunk said, and he stepped in, rubbing the back of his neck now, looking embarrassed. "Um." "Um," Shiro echoed. "I wanted to, uh, to apologize," said Hunk. "For getting all prickly like that." Shiro blinked. That wasn't exactly what he had expected. "What?" "I know you're going through... well, you're going through a lot of shit right now," said Hunk. He was avoiding Shiro's eyes, looking over Shiro's left ear. "It isn't fair of me to expect you to be perfectly reasonable all the time. And I'm sorry for treating you like that. For... for expecting you to do that." "... oh," said Shiro. He hadn't been expecting that. "I know that all of you guys - all the paladins, I mean, and Coran - you all kinda see me as a joke. And I... I mean, I get that. I get that I'm just not really... well, I'm not important or serious like you are. I'm not someone that people are going to take seriously." Shiro just stared. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but this wasn't it. God, no wonder Hunk had come off as kind of prickly, if he saw himself this way. "I don't see it like that," he told Hunk, trying to keep his voice calm. "I think you're a great guy." "I know, but I'm not exactly someone that's looked up to," said Hunk, "unless you mean me being freakishly tall." That startled a laugh out of Shiro, and Hunk grinned back at him. "I don't think of you like that," Shiro said firmly. "I mean, it's true, you're not... well, you don't exactly project an aura of authority or anything like that. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I think... I know that everyone finds you approachable and helpful. It's one of the reasons that I've been going to you about this... this problem." Shiro sighed, a long, gusty sound. Hunk shot him a sympathetic look. "A lot of people always look at me to be in charge," Shiro said quietly. He wasn't sure why he was talking about this, but then again, he'd gone to Hunk to help put on a diaper. Was it even possible to hold on to his dignity? "I hadn't thought about what it'd be like to be on the other end of that." Hunk looked sheepish. "Would you believe me if I said I hadn't actually thought of it from that angle?" He laughed, a deep, belly laugh, and Shiro laughed back, relief flooding through him. "I guess we're having a grass is greener moment," Shiro said, catching his breath. "Is the grass even green in space? It feels more like it'd be purple," said Hunk. He leaned against a wall, and oh my, but that was a lot of shoulder on display. Shiro tried not to ogle too openly - it felt odd to ogle, when he was wearing a diaper. "It could be," Shiro said, then; "I'm sorry." "Thank you. And I'm sorry too," said Hunk. "Although that wasn't actually the main reason for me coming over." Now he looked faintly embarrassed. "Why did you come over?" Shiro's stomach was turning over in funny ways. “Uh, not to act like I think you’re incompetent or anything -” Hunk began “But you think I’m incompetent?” Shiro flashed a smile at Hunk, and Hunk had the decency to laugh. “I don’t think you’re incompetent,” Hunk said, “but, uh, I know that doing up diapers is hard when they’re not on your own body, let alone trying to get the tapes right from a weird angle.” “Oh,” said Shiro. “Yeah, I, uh, I had some trouble with the tapes.” “Do you want me to fix them for you?” “Do you think you could?” Shiro’s heart was beating very fast, and his face was turning red. Why was he turning red? His cock was still hard as well, and that seemed to be making it weird. How did he make it stop being weird? “I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t willing to do it,” Hunk said, and he came a little closer. “You wanna get your pants off?” “Right,” said Shiro, and he licked his lips, looking embarrassed. “I’ll probably do something super embarrassing in the near future,” said Hunk, in what he probably thought was a reassuring voice. “Then you can make eye contact with me and know that it’s the universe balancing the books or whatever.” “Shiro let out a little snort of laughter, and he grinned back at Hunk. “I’ll try to think of it like that,” he told Hunk, and then he was sliding his pajama pants down, standing there in just the diaper. The diaper printed with multicolored robot lions. Oh god. “Oh my god, they’re like Voltron lions,” Hunk said, and he sounded downright delighted. Of course he would - Hunk loved cute things. “Yeah,” Shiro said. “They were, uh… the only ones they had for my size and leg configuration.” “Where’d you get them?” “The space mall.” “Right,” said Hunk. “Can you, uh, can you lie back? It’ll make it easier.” “Right,” said Shiro, and he did indeed lie back, although he flushed when his shirt rode up. There was something weirdly embarrassing about the way his vivisection scar disappeared into the diaper, although fucked if he could put his finger on why. He had survived… well, all of this. Why was he being so weird about this? Why was this all such a big deal in the first place? “Oh, yeah, geez, I need to fix these,” said Hunk. “If you, uh, if you wet at all, the whole thing is going to fall apart.” “Right,” said Shiro. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to worry about it in the first place.” It was taking a downright heroic effort not to cover his face with both hands, or to squirm too much. Hunk was doing… something. Shiro was trying not to think about it too much, until the tension around the diaper was gone, and then Shiro was completely bare from the waist down, the diaper pulled down. “Okay,” Hunk said, “did you use powder?” “Powder?” Shiro blinked at Hunk, trying to get his mind around all of this. “Yeah,” said Hunk. “You know, to cut down on rash, soak up liquid?” “... oh,” said Shiro. “Uh. I hadn’t thought of that.” “Do you have any?” “Yeah, I kinda just bought a few things from the aisle. I wasn’t sure what was… needed.” Shiro kind of wanted to disappear. “I’ll powder you up, hold on,” said Hunk, all business now. “Where’s the powder?” “In the bag,” Shiro said, and now he was covering his face with both hands, trying not to squirm too much. God, this was embarrassing. “Okay,” said Hunk, and there was rustling, and then coolness, as Hunk sprinkled powder across his thighs and groin. Shiro sighed, relaxing a bit in spite of himself. It even smelled like real baby powder. Maybe it was real baby powder - they kept tripping over weird Earth things while they were out in space. He curled his toes, and he tried not to think about how nice all of this was, in spite of the embarrassment. He glanced up at Hunk’s face, and saw that it was soft, almost sweet. “Okay,” said Hunk, “so you’re kinda… on this crooked. Can you lift your hips for a sec? I’m gonna reposition the thing under you.” “Right,” said Shiro, and he did lift his hips, and there was rustling. “I gotta say,” said Hunk, “this is a lot nicer with someone who listens to me when I ask stuff like this.” “Can’t you just lift babies up? I’d think that was easier.” The image of Hunk just… lifting him up flitted through Shiro’s head, and his cock, traiter that it was, twitched. “I mean, I could, but I figure you’d be weirded out if I just grabbed you by the ankles and yanked you to the edge of the bed or whatever,” said Hunk, and he laughed, clearly self conscious. “I don’t think anyone’s ever done that to me before,” Shiro said, “barring, uh… specific circumstances.” Now he was blushing as well. God, his mind was tangling up previous experiences with the current one, and the image of Hunk parting his legs and spreading him open flashed through his head. His cock was now very hard, and pointed up towards his chin. It was even starting to leak, just a little bit. Oh god. “Those must have been some pretty good specific circumstances,” said Hunk, and he laughed, clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” Shiro said. “I, uh… I don’t….” “I’m not bothered by that, if you’re not,” said Hunk, and then he cleared his throat. “I can help you with it, if you’d like.” Shiro got up on his elbows, looking over the curve of his own stomach at Hunk. “Are you propositioning me? Right now?” The whole situation was taking on a level of the surreal. “I mean, I don’t think it could get much weirder,” Hunk said, and he grinned at Shiro, waggling his eyebrows like Groucho Marx. “I could probably make it weirder, if I tried.” Shiro let out a bark of laughter, flopping back onto the bed. “This isn’t how I saw my space travel adventures going,” he admitted, as one hand went down, his fingers tracing his vivisection scar. It was rough under his fingers. “How did you see them going?” “Well, I didn’t see myself getting kidnapped, forced into gladiatorial combat, or experimented on like a lab rat,” said Shiro, and then regretted it, as Hunk’s face fell. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” “You lived it, man,” said Hunk. “far be it from me to tell you what you should or shouldn’t feel about it.” Shiro was still hard - he should have lost the erection by now, he should have at least let himself calm down enough that it would just... go soft, right? And yet. He was so hard - so hard that it hurt, so hard that it was difficult to think. "So would you like me to help you with that?" Hunk's fingers rested on Shiro's stomach, right over the scar. Shiro was beginning to shake, and he was aware that there was a lump in his throat. Was he going to start crying? He wasn't exactly the sort of guy who normally started crying at the drop of a hat - what was going on with him? He licked his lips, squirming on the bed, and they sighed. "Yes," he said, very quietly. "You sure?" Hunk's hand moved up, towards Shiro's face, and then he was leaning forward, his palm against Shiro's cheek, his middle finger against Shiro's temple. Hunk had such huge hands - Shiro still wasn't sure what to do with that. "Yeah," Shiro said. "I wouldn't say yes if I wasn't okay with it." He covered Hunk's hand with his own, squeezing Hunk's fingers, and Hunk brought Shiro's hand up to his face, kissing the back of it. "You're such a nice guy, y'know that?" Hunk's voice was tentative, as he began to stroke Shiro's cock, his thumb passing across the head, spreading pre-come. "I mean it." His lips were moving across the back of Shiro's hand as he spoke, and Shiro squirmed, humping into Hunk's hand. "You're the one giving me a handjob," Shiro mumbled, and he covered his eyes with his prosthetic hand, although he wasn't sure why. He was... was he embarrassed? Turned on? Anxious? He was feeling a whole bunch of things at once, and it was... well, it was a lot. "Well, yeah, but I appreciate you letting me do it in the first place," Hunk said. "I know that it isn't always easy for you to let go like this." He did something tricky with his wrist, and Shiro threw his head back, moaning up to the ceiling. Shiro shuddered again, his legs spreading wider. He ground his hips forward, and the diaper under him crinkled. God, that was weird. This whole thing was weird. "I never... I've never done a thing like this before," Shiro said. "Like... this, I mean." "I haven't either," said Hunk. "Next time, I'll get you off, then put the powder on." Then he paused. "Sorry, I shouldn't have, uh... assumed." Shiro's cock twitched in Hunk's hand, and Shiro groaned. "Next time," he agreed, then, "I want... I...." "What do you want, buddy?" Hunk was using that same sweet voice on him, and it was making Shiro's toes curl, his cock throb in time with his desperate heartbeat. "I want... I want... Daddy," Shiro gasped out, and then he was coming into Hunk's hand, across his own belly, and he was sobbing as he came. He was still having feelings - so many feelings, all at once, and they were bubbling out of his chest, out of his face. It was like the orgasm had opened the floodgates to something else, and he was sobbing like his heart was breaking. "Oh, Shiro, honey," said Hunk, and he was... he was holding Shiro. Getting come on Shiro's shirt, which was more than a little gross, but Shiro was sobbing into Hunk's broad chest, clutching at Hunk's shirt. "I'm sorry," Shiro blubbered, and he was still crying, clutching like he was afraid he would be thrown off. He sighed and shuddered, still clutching as he was rocked, leaving a wet, soggy spot in Hunk's shirt. "You don't have to apologize," Hunk said, still using his soothing tone of voice. "It's okay. I promise, it's okay. Let it out. I'm here." Shiro cried himself out - he didn't even know that he had so many tears in his body anymore, didn't know that he had so many feelings at once. He sniffled, and Hunk was fiddling with a pocket, then taking out a tissue. "Blow," Hunk said, holding the tissue to Shiro's face, and Shiro blew, still sniffling, and he made a face as Hunk used the tissue to wipe him up. "I'm... I'm sorry," Shiro said, and his voice was rough. "Don't be," Hunk said, and he gave Shiro an affectionate pat on the head. "I mean, you've seen how emotional I get over stuff. You can't think I'd judge you for it, do you?" Shiro shrugged, uncomfortable. "Also," Hunk said, "like I was saying - you've been through some really difficult stuff. It's not like I'm going to tell you off for dealing with them. And it's better you cry on me and wet the bed a few times then if you end up freezing up during a mission, or have a panic attack during a diplomatic mission." "I hadn't thought of it like that," Shiro admitted, wiping his face on the back of his hand. "I'm -" "If you say you're sorry again, I'm going to tickle you," Hunk said in a warning tone of voice. "I've never been threatened with tickling before, I have to admit," Shiro said, his voice rough. "Don't take it too lightly," Hunk said, and his face was serious. Or at least, as serious as Hunk's face ever got. "I'm a dangerous tickler." "Of course you are," Shiro said. He was grinning in spite of himself. "And you know it," said Hunk. He patted Shiro on the thigh. "You ready to get taped in, buddy?" "... right," said Shiro. "Um." At least he wasn't horny anymore. That had been too goddamn embarrassing. Having an erection while being put in a diaper was embarrassing. It was equally embarrassing, the way that Hunk was just... handling his cock - arranging it so that it was pointing downward, then adding more baby powder. "Hm?" Hunk was carefully pulling the front of the diaper up, so that Shiro was fully surrounded. He taped Shiro in efficiently, and Shiro sighed. It was much better done, when Hunk did it. “I’m sorry for, uh… for calling you that,” said Shiro, and he cleared his throat. “What, Daddy?” It was kind of amazing, how the word just… passed through Hunk’s lips, without any embarrassment, any awkwardness, any anything. “Yeah,” said Shiro, aware that his cheeks were very red. “Don’t worry about it,” Hunk assured him. “If you want to call me that, go for it. Okay?” “... okay,” said Shiro, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “I still feel like I’m making everything weird.” “Everything is already weird,” Hunk countered. “We’re in a flying castle spaceship. In space. I’d say that makes it about as weird as it can possibly get, personally.” “... I feel like I should argue with that, but I honestly can’t think of a good argument,” said Shiro, and he laughed, self conscious but relaxing nonetheless. “Exactly,” said Hunk. “Do you need anything else, buddy?” Shiro licked his lips. He liked it when Hunk called him buddy, although he couldn’t put his finger on why, exactly. It was pushing some happy button in the back of his mind that he hadn’t been aware he had. “I think I’m good,” said Shiro. “Unless you want me to, uh, to… to return the favor.” He was blushing. Hunk shook his head. “Nah,” he said. “I’m good for now. But I may take you up on the offer, y’know… later.” “Right,” said Shiro. “Night.” “Night, buddy,” said Hunk, and he kissed Shiro on the forehead, then went off to his own bedroom. * * * Hunk lay in his bunk, and he jerked off. It was a pretty good jerk off, all things considered - his hips worked desperately as he humped his own hand, his head thrown back. His mind was going… places. Places he didn’t really expect. He was imagining Shiro on the diaper again, only this time, instead of just jerking Shiro off, he was riding Shiro’s dick. He was riding Shiro, and Shiro had… Shiro had a pacifier in his mouth, Shiro was moaning and whimpering, Shiro was saying “daddy” repeatedly. It was a lot - it was more than a lot, it was enough that it was making Hunk’s cock pulse in his own hand, as he got closer and closer to orgasm. There’s probably something Freudian about this ran through Hunk’s mind, and then he twisted his wrist in just the right way, and his orgasm washed over him. He gasped and groaned as he came, spurting over his hand, over his belly, still shaking, panting. Fuck, but that was... that was good. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but it was intense enough to make him keep shaking on his bed. “If this is going to turn into a new fetish, I don’t have time for that,” Hunk told his room, and then he groped around for a tissue, to clean himself off with. * * * Hunk diapered up Shiro three more times, before they had some official down time, and they had a chance to go to the space mall. Lance, Keith, and Pidge were off doing… something. Hunk honestly wasn’t sure what. He went to visit Vrepit Sal (he was still doing well, thankfully), and Hunk was left to his own devices. He found himself making his way to the nearby toy store - he knew a toy store, even if it wasn’t the type that he was used to. There was some kind of plushie in the window, and when Hunk squinted, he realized… it was a lion. A Voltron lion. Oh, wow. Um. Hunk wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, and he steeled himself to walk into the toy store. Maybe he’d get a nice gift. Who didn’t like plushies, right? Before he had a chance to think, he was grabbing two plushies; the black lion and the yellow lion. Of course he needed to get the yellow lion - it was the yellow lion! And if he was getting Shiro a gift… and there was the rub. Was he getting Shiro a gift? Would Shiro take it as an insult, if Hunk got him a plushie? Hunk was holding the two plushies under his arms, he had wandered into the baby aisle. Hm. He looked at the rows of baby stuff - bottles, pacifiers, wipes, colorful cartoon characters adorning various bits of plastic and space metal and who knew what else. He didn’t recognize most of the characters, but then again, why would he? It wasn’t like he’d grown up with any of it. He saw a few Voltron lions sprinkled in there - saw Voltron itself as well, and this was a little weird. He was now popular enough that he was, in theory, printed on bibs and bottles and plushies. … huh. Hunk was grinning a bit in spite of himself, as he picked up a pacifier, although this one didn’t have any lions on it, just a smiling planet, with rings like saturn. Maybe it was a thing from a popular cartoon around here, or maybe it was manufactured somewhere that had moons like that, or… something. It was blue, and the nipple was bigger than it was on a human pacifier. He grabbed a bottle, this one printed with little dancing… somethings. They had bright, round faces, and big smiles. The nipple for the pacifier and the bottle were both bigger than the ones on Earth. At least, the ones on Earth for babies. It wasn’t until Hunk was walking off with his purchases that what he’d done really… sank in. He’d just bought baby stuff. Baby stuff for his commanding officer. His commanding officer who had been wetting the bed, admittedly, but… still. What if Shiro took it the wrong way? What if it ended up offending him? What if he had screwed everything up, and Shiro would never trust Hunk again, or even never trust anyone ever again? Hunk flopped onto a table at the food court, and he groaned, covering his face with both hands. Why did he always manage to screw up everything? He sighed, leaning back into his seat, and then he looked into the bag. He could, at the very least, say that he’d gotten the plushies for his various young relatives. Nobody would hold that against him, right? … he could hope. * * * When Shiro came to Hunk’s room, he found Hunk faintly squirrely. That was unexpected - usually, the big guy was pretty laid back. Maybe not calm, per se, but not… anxious. “Is something wrong?” Shiro tried not to rub his hands together or shift from foot to foot, “No, no, everything is fine. Absolutely fine,” said Hunk. “If you could, uh, if you could show me how to do it myself, I could probably stop bothering you,” said Shiro, although there was a bit of a knot in his stomach. “You’re not bothering me,” Hunk reassured Shiro, and then he was indicating his bed. “C’mon. Lie down, I’ll get you sorted out.” “Right,” said Shiro. He hadn’t called Hunk “daddy” since that first time, although it was on the tip of his tongue more than he’d comfortably like to admit to it. “So,” Hunk said, and he cleared his throat as he pulled down Shiro’s pajama pants, “I’ve, uh… I went shopping today.” “Did you?” Shiro was sinking into that nice, quiet place that he went to sometimes. His head stopped shouting. “Are you… that is, would you ever be interested in trying… other stuff? To help you relax, I mean.” “What kind of other stuff?” Shiro’s cock was softer this time, at least. He hadn’t had an erection during a change the last few times, thank goodness. Or maybe not. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it, honestly. It was all weird. “... would you ever want to try other sort of… kiddy stuff?” Hunk cleared his throat. “What kind of other kiddy stuff?” Shiro sighed as Hunk grabbed him by the ankles, just lifting his ass up and off of the bed. Hunk was so strong - nobody else could lift him up or throw him around like that. There was something weirdly… nice about it. “You know. Plushies. Stuff like that.” “I love plushies,” Shiro admitted. He’d usually be a bit more… reticinet about about admitting that, but Hunk was literally sprinkling powder over his genitals right now, so what was there for him to lose? “I might have bought you a few of them,” Hunk burst out. “A few?” Shiro blinked at Hunk, trying to wrap his mind around that. “Just two,” Hunk said quickly. "Where'd you get plushies?" Shiro rubbed his eyes. The same... quietness was descending down onto him, filling his head with something like cotton wool. It was nice, but it made it hard to hold a conversation. "Just some lions," Hunk said. "They, uh, they have lion plushies now. Of our lions, I mean." "Our lions?" Shiro blinked, as the thoughts made their way through his head, like a worm through an apple. Then he caught on. "Oh! The Voltron lions?" "Right," said Hunk. "I saw a whole bunch of them on baby stuff, at the one store." Then he stopped talking, looking faintly embarrassed. "You were at a baby store?" Shiro frowned. "Not for any particular reason," Hunk said quickly. "I mean, uh, I was in the toy store and I had to get the plushies, because they were just so cute, y'know? But then I saw that there was so much other stuff, and I ended up wandering around and I ended up in the baby section, and there was a whole bunch of Voltron stuff." "Huh," said Shiro, then; "can I see the lions?" "Of course," said Hunk, and he just... went to get them. Didn't cover Shiro up, didn't do anything. He just left left Shiro lying on the bed with no pants on, like an infant in the middle of a diaper change. Shiro was feeling some kind of way about it, although he wasn't sure what it was. His stomach was twisting up in interesting ways, and his heart was in his throat. He wasn't... exactly horny, but he was feeling something. Something complicated. Something deep. "Here they are," said Hunk, and he was holding two small lion plushies, roughly the size of a big Beanie Baby. He danced one of them up Shiro's arm - the black lion - and had it kiss him on the cheek. Shiro laughed, and he wasn't expecting that. He was grinning - he could feel his face doing it, his cheeks stretched out, his eyes crinkling up at the sides. He took the black lion, and he kissed it on the nose, nuzzling his face into it. Hunk was still holding the yellow lion, and he looked faintly embarrassed. "Why'd you get Yellow?" Shiro ran his fingers over the embroidered patches of the black lion's eyes. "I like Yellow," Hunk said defensively, "and I though that maybe Black would be lonely, if he didn't have some company." "Right," said Shiro, and he tried not to giggle too hard. Hunk was such a softie sometimes. Then he licked his lips, trying to get his thoughts straight. "So between the diapers and all the other Voltron stuff - " "You could have an entire Voltron themed baby shower," Hunk said, interrupting. "Crazy, right? We're on baby clothes!" "That is something to think about," Shiro said. What would it be like, to wear baby clothes sized to fit him? ... he'd probably look pretty dumb, come to think of it. If he didn't look dumb already. Hunk must have seen Shiro's face fall, because he was leaning forward, and he was... kissing Shiro's stomach. More specifically, he was kissing along Shiro's vivisection scar, which was... well, it was unsettling. Shiro hadn't taken another lover since he'd gotten back - Hunk was the first person to really touch him intimately since he returned from space. He'd been too ashamed of his scars, the ones that were visible and the ones that weren't. But then again, Hunk had literally washed piss off of him. Hunk had seen what those nightmares did to him, and yet he wasn't doing anything. He wasn't condemning Shiro, he wasn't telling Shiro that he found him disgusting, he wasn't doing anything but accepting Shiro. Shiro sighed, a full body sigh, his eyes fluttering closed. He rested his hands on top of Hunks head, his fingers tangling in Hunk's hair. Maybe Hunk was going to give him a blow job - he wasn't really horny right now, but he could certainly see himself going down that road. Then Hunk blew a raspberry on his belly, and Shiro let out a whoop of laughter, squirming under Hunk's ticklish kisses. Hunk blew another raspberry, and Shiro squirmed some more, laughing harder. Hunk's hands were going up and down his sides now, and Shiro was squirming, trying to get away, but not as well. Shiro let his body just do things - let himself feel things, laughing and wriggling, trying not to flail too hard, trying not to accidentally punch Hunk in the face, or knee Hunk in the gut. "Y'like that? You're so ticklish, aren't you? Aren't you?" Hunk was using that same sweet voice that made Shiro horny and made Shiro... sad, but in a nice way. There were tears tracking down Shiro's face, and he was panting, his face bright red. He paused, then made a warning noise. "Hunk?" "Mmm?" "If you keep doing that, I'm gonna pee." Shiro was blushing. Oh god. "I guess I should diaper you up, before I tickle you again," Hunk said. He said it as if it was a totally reasonable thing, too - as if that was just a thing that was done. Sure, he'd just put his commanding officer/friend into a diaper, to keep him from peeing the bed. There wasn't even any condemnation in it - he just rearranged the diaper, taping it closed over Shiro and patting him on the crotch. Shiro looked down the line of his own body in surprise. Hunk was... surprisingly good at this. And Shiro was already starting to get an erection. Why was he getting an erection? ... admittedly, the diaper felt very nice. Warm, soft cushy, wrapped around him snugly, keeping him safe and warm. It was almost like being held in a nice, snug hug. It was like being held by Hunk. ... huh. Maybe Shiro was developing some weird sort of complex. At least there was weirder stuff to fixate on, right? "Shiro? You okay in there?" Hunk poked him in the belly, gently. Shiro made an undignified noise, squirming some more, and he looked up at Hunk. He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact, then licked his lips. "Um." "Something wrong?" Hunk flopped onto the bed next to Shiro, his hands behind his head, his feet propped up. He took up a decent amount of space - Shiro ended up having to crowd closer, his head on Hunk's chest. "I'd be interested in, uh... in other baby stuff," Shiro said slowly. "If that wouldn't bother you." "Why would it bother me?" Hunk's arm went out, and then he was wrapping it around Shiro's shoulders, pulling Shiro closer, one big hand spanned over Shiro's back. "I dunno," Shiro said, and he cleared his throat. "I just worry about making it... uncomfortable." Hunk shrugged. "As I've said before," he said, "all of this is already so weird. We'er in space. We pilot giant psychic robot lions. We have a cow in space. Pidge is friends with a bunch of robot trees. I can't really see things getting much weirder, y'know?" "Right," said Shiro. "I guess you're right. I just...." He let himself trail off. "Are you, uh... can I posit a theory?" Hunk sounded nervous. "Mmm?" Shiro had a lion tucked under each arm, and was running his fingers across the yellow lion's ears, now. "I think that you're embarrassed that you're finding comfort in... nonstandard stuff," Hunk said slowly. "Especially after all the stuff you went through. I bet that... I bet that you feel like you're feeling like, since you endured all of that, you should be able to go on with your life as a totally normal person, right?" Shiro gave Hunk a sidelong look. The guy was almost absurdly good at reading people. To be totally truthful, it could be a little eerie sometimes. Hunk was just... well, Hunk. Big, friendly, liable to get motion sick or rhapsodize about this or that recipe at the drop of a hat. There was a lot of mind going on behind those sweet eyes of his. Sometimes Shiro forgot that Hunk was, for all intents and purposes, an engineer who had been drafted into being a pilot. Sure, he came off as a big, lovable goof, but, well... Hunk was smart. Hunk was smart, and Hunk knew about people. He knew how to read people. If he were a different sort of person, Shiro might have been worried. As it was, he was just impressed. "... I got that wrong, didn't I?" Hunk looked nervous. "Sorry." "No," said Shiro. "No, you got it pretty much right. Plus, y'know, standard shame in regards to how weird stuff is." "Right,” said Hunk. “Okay, good. I was worried that I’d offended you.” “It’s okay,” Shiro said. “But uh, yeah. If you’re ever… if you’d ever want to try other stuff… I might be interested.” “If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was some kind of kinky thing,” Hunk said, and then he grinned a bit in spite of himself. “Not that I’m really one to judge. I’ve been enjoying it myself.” “As, like, a kinky thing?” Shiro wasn’t expecting that. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, honestly. “Yeah,” said Hunk. “Although I’d never treat your coping method as just a way to be kinky, obviously.” “Right,” Shiro agreed, and he cleared his throat again. “If you’d… I mean, if it would make you happy, I’d be willing….” “Willing?” Hunk seemed to be holding his breath. “If you wanted to, uh… to treat me as if I was younger,” said Shiro. “If you’d be… interested. And it wouldn’t interfere with missions or anything like that.” “It hasn’t so far,” Hunk said cheerfully. “What would you want me to do?” Shiro outlined some things, stuttering and blushing the whole time. By the end of it, Hunk was blushing, too. “Well,” he said, and he cleared his throat when his voice cracked, and tried again. “Well.” “Well?” “That’s, uh… that’s doable,” he said thickly. “Totally doable.” Shiro resisted the urge to make some kind of dirty joke, and just smiled at Hunk nervously. * * * They didn’t do anything particularly… fetishy that night. Hunk tucked in Shiro and kissed his forehead, but otherwise didn’t try much of anything. It felt… well, it felt weird to talk about trying something and then just doing it. This kind of thing needed to be ruminated over. Or maybe Hunk was just anxious - how did he even know if he’d make a good Daddy type, for Shiro? What was it that Shiro wanted from him, as a Daddy? They’d had a whole talk about it, that was true, but… still. This type of thing was complicated. Also Hunk wasn’t sure what it all meant, or what it was that he wanted. Since Shiro had made it very clear that he didn’t want it all to be about what Shiro wanted, which was all well and good, except Hunk wasn’t exactly the best at figuring out what it was that he wanted in the first place. So what did he want? … he’d cross that bridge when he came to it. For now, he was in his own bed, and it still smelled a little bit like baby powder. If he ended up developing a weird thing about baby powder… well, that would be awkward. Another bridge to worry about them. * * * Hunk and Shiro sat across from each other at the table in the kitchen in the Castle of the Lions, and they tried not to make too much eye contact. Shiro had food goo on his face, and it was taking every bit of self control for Hunk to not wipe his face off. All of the other Paladins were chattering about this or that - they had met a whole planet of robot people (sort of? Hunk hadn’t entirely understood the specifics, but he had at least been able to bond over mechanic talk), Keith and Lance were bickering as always. Well, Lance was bickering, Lance was snapping back. Still. They sat together, eating their dinner, and Hunk was realizing he wanted to put Shiro in a bib, which was an embarrassing thing to dawn on you when surrounded by your teammates. One by one, everyone left - Pidge still had a dreamy expression on her face, the way she always did when she had a new idea. Allura and Lance went off to talk about… something, and Keith went off on his own errands. Coran was babbling about reconfiguring something in the castle (honestly, Hunk was curious about that, but other things called). Which left Shiro and Hunk, sitting across from each other, avoiding eye contact. Then Hunk cracked. “You’ve, uh, you’ve got a little… there’s stuff on your face,” said Hunk. “Mmm?” Shiro looked up, licking his lips. “Your face,” said Hunk. “It’s, uh… hold on.” He grabbed a napkin, and he was… wiping Shiro’s face with it, before he had a chance to think . “Thank you Da - thank you,” said Shiro, and then he cleared his throat. “I’ve got a thing in my room,” said Hunk, and he was blushing. “You want to come see?” “A thing?” Shiro raised an eyebrow, but he looked amused. “A thing,” Hunk repeated. “Would you be, uh… would you be interested?” “Sure,” said Shiro, and he looked like he was trying not to laugh now. “I’m always interested in things.” “Good to know,” said Hunk. * * * Shiro sat on Hunk’s bed, and he tried to get his bearings. He was in a diaper. A thick diaper. He wasn’t going to sleep, although he was already going towards sleepy - wearing a diaper meant going to bed, right? But Hunk was bustling around - spreading a blanket on the floor, taking out the lion plushies, then… was that a binkie? A bottle? Shiro flushed, squirming in place, and he glanced over at Hunk, who had finally stopped moving around, to sit on the floor, shoes off, legs crossed. “I locked the door,” he told Shiro, “if you’re worried about that.” “Right,” Shiro said quietly. “Do you…,” Hunk started, then blushed, cleared his throat, tried again. “Do you want to sit in my lap?” “Oh,” Shiro said. “If it’s too much, that’s fine too,” Hunk said quickly. “I’m, uh, I just kinda realized… I think you’re the only person big enough that I’d be able to… do that with,” said Shiro, and he flushed, but got off of the bed. The diaper was thick enough that he was waddling, just a bit. “Yeah?” Hunk leaned back against the bed. “Well, if it helps you feel nice, I’m glad!” “Thank you, Daddy,” Shiro said, and then he flushed, biting his lip. Hunk smiled at him, a full, beaming smile. “You wanna come sit in Daddy’s lap?” Hunk patted his thigh. “... okay,” Shiro said quietly, and he leaned back against Hunk. He wasn't sure if this was normal, but...well, things didn’t always go the way the way they were expected to, did they? He sighed again, and he reached out for the binkie, beginning to suck on it when Hunk slid it into his mouth. This was… this was nice. He was going to do his best to be okay, even if that meant diapers and crying and wetting the bed. After all - it wasn’t as if Hunk would judge him for it, right?