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I bow down to You, Mistress,
I bow down to my Lord,
I have been so very bad,
It is You now I adore.
You sit on Your thrones
While I kneel at Your feet,
And I beg for mercy as
You cast judgement on me.
I kiss Your feet, they
Are wet with my tears,
My Lord kicks me away,
I grow anxious with fear.
I dare not look upon
Your beautiful faces,
I am not worthy enough
To be given such grace.
The hand of my Mistress
Is what gives me new pain
She takes hold of my wrists
To imprison me with chains.
I am bound up, immobile,
My body stripped bare,
I am dragged to Your feet,
Under Your murderous stare.
You’re not even angry,
You won’t shout at me,
That’s how I know that
I deserve this misery.
I prostrate before You,
I recount all my sins,
Confession must be done
Before the punishment begins.
I leave nothing out,
I confess everything to You
I bare my soul and my sins
Await the punishment I’m due.
Nothing will save me
From Your justified wrath,
I have been so disobedient,
I have broken my troth.
I say that I’m sorry
Until I grow hoarse
My pain is my payment,
I must give recourse.
I have fallen from grace,
So very far to the earth,
I wish You’d let me go,
I have no value or worth.
I recite all the penances
You command me to say
To make reparations
And perhaps forgiveness gain.
But still You are not pleased,
I have still not done enough
To make up for my sins
And earn back Your love.
You release me from the chains,
But I can still feel them there,
Forever reminding me of
The submission I bear.
I kneel before You,
I kiss Your feet again,
I beg for forgiveness,
That I know I won’t gain.
You give me Your judgement,
I know I’ve been so bad,
And I must make up for this,
To make my Masters glad.
You bring out the whip
That I fear the most
Because it is so sacred
And carries divine cost.
This is not just any pain,
It is the punishment of God,
Of my two beloved Masters,
Who bring down the rod.
I don’t want to take it,
I’m still dirty with sin,
How can I touch something
That’s so sacred within?
But I do not refuse You,
It would just bring more pain
And it feels just so heavy
As it fills my hands again.
You tell me how many strokes,
And exactly how many weeks,
I must punish myself daily,
Until my sins no longer reek.
My Lord is utterly dismissive,
My Mistress with such disdain,
I am banished to my room,
There to beat out my pain.
To my chapel now of punishment
My temple now for discipline,
My shrine to You I bow before
And recite again my sins.
I raise the whip to You to bless,
I ask for Your guidance now
To help me learn, correct myself,
And be faithful to my vow.
I light the candles, cense the room,
I purify the space for You so
I can cleanse myself of sin
And pay back what I owe.
I set the counters up to match
The punishment I have been set
To count them all so faithfully
So my punishment is accurate.
I say the prayers You taught to me,
Renounce my sins before my Gods,
Oh, my Masters, how I have forsaken
The perfect trust I have now lost!
I bow to You, prostrate myself,
Beg Your forgiveness unto me,
Perhaps when I have suffered well,
Your love for me again I’ll see.
I look to You, my gaze to Heaven,
Take the whip, I chant my sins,
With every stroke I give to You
The pain of Your discipline.
This chapel now is bare and cold,
I sleep for You upon the floor,
I eat the scraps You give to me,
And when asked, You I adore.
These four walls are all I see,
My world has shrunk, it’s now so small
I spend my days here all alone,
Denied all pleasures in the world.
Just one blanket now I have
To keep me warm and make the ground
Not quite as cold as it really is
As I lie here on the stones, so bound.
I have no clothes but rags and scraps
Old broken things that do not match
Leftovers, stained, they itch and bite
I swear this shirt is made of thatch.
There are set rituals I must do
To mark the hours of the day,
And there’s just one window where I see
When the sun has set and to bed I lay.
And when the sun does rise to me,
My punishment begins again
I kneel and whip myself for You,
Voice rising to You in prayer.
There is no food, just water for me,
Food is something I must earn,
The only other room I have
Just one small bathroom where I turn.
I must keep myself so clean,
I must wash off the sin I bear,
That comes to light with every strike,
I am punished because You care.
And twice a day, my Mistress comes,
Or my Lord to see my pain,
You take joy in my reddened flesh,
You laugh at all my suffering.
This pain for You is what I pay
To earn the food You bring to me,
You make me kneel right at Your feet,
And feed me like Your little pet.
I must keep my eyes on Mistress,
As She gives me sustenance,
And thank Her for this gift of food,
I do not deserve this chance.
I pray to Her for one whole hour
She makes me praise Her sacred power,
She owns me now completely, whole,
And from Her angry gaze I cower.
My Lord, He keeps me underfoot,
I am just a pathetic dog to Him,
He makes me beg, recite my prayers,
To earn my food, I sing His hymn.
And then He feeds me from His hands,
After every bite, I must give thanks,
I must pray before and praise Him so,
And then in gratitude, I dance.
I am left without Your touch,
I yearn for You, I cry so much,
But I am denied so much of this
And my Masters will not budge.
Every day I whip myself,
I say my prayers, I bow and kneel,
I beg my Masters, please forgive me,
As I count down week by week.
This ordeal is the longest
That You have given to me,
My back is sore, I cannot lie
I can’t go on, my body’s weak.
But to stop now would be madness,
I can’t give up, You would give me,
Even longer now to whip myself,
For everything I’d done in sin.
Each stroke is such a burden now,
My voice is weak, my hands are numb,
My knees so bruised, my skin so raw,
My wrists protest, my mind is stunned.
I must push on to finish this,
One week to go, can I complete
My punishment for You I give
All of this pain lies at Your feet.
Agony is all I feel,
I lean against the shrine, I fear
My body has taken so much pain,
I can’t finish this, please, mercy, hear!
Four days short, I couldn’t do it,
My Mistress, Lord, You are so cross,
I can’t take any more of this,
I just can’t do it, too weak, I lost.
My hands are shaking, I’m so sorry,
I couldn’t finish, my body broke,
But mercy not am I to have,
You break me more with every stroke.
You finish what I just could not,
So I am given what I owed,
I lie there, trapped, under Your feet
You whip me hard, my back is bowed.
Three days’ more I get as punishment,
Because I just could not obey Your word,
And when You’re done, I lie so still,
I can’t move at all, I am just so sore.
But then You take me from Your chapel
Now to lie on Your soft bed,
I just feel numb, there’s too much pain,
But You both just stroke my head.
The pain is bliss, I love it so,
I feel my sins just fade away,
My mind is drifting, everything hurts,
But Your touch at last makes me feel okay.
I don’t know how long it takes to recover,
All the days just blur into each other,
I just murmur I’m sorry under my breath,
Every time to my Mistress and Lord together.
The moments I yearn for with You
Are bathing together in sacred water,
My body hurts less, You cleanse my soul,
My sins are forgiven upon Your altar.
I bleed for You, I hurt for You,
I take all of this pain for You,
To take away all of my sins,
To make me pure enough for You.
I thank You both for owning me,
For Your strength and discipline,
For correcting me when I’ve done wrong,
For cleansing me of all my sin.
This time, Your touch is gentle now,
I kiss Your feet, adore You both,
I praise You, as a good boy should
Accept the justice of Your wrath.
Your kisses are so sweet to me,
My Lord holds me to His breast,
My Mistress strokes me with Her hands,
My love for You burns in my chest.
It takes so long but then I hear
You both accept my apologies,
Forgiveness now You give to me,
Your grace returned, now I am free.
Now at last, I am allowed
To return to Your sacred chapel
Bowing before Your sacred thrones,
Your hands at last are now so gentle.
Your blessings now pour down upon,
Mistress, Lord, I am Your blessed son,
Once more You turn Your gaze to me,
And here You smile, it now is done.
I am forgiven for my sins,
My Masters now embrace my love,
Pleasure I can now give back
For everything that You have done.
I am so grateful for my Mistress,
For the hand of my dear Lord,
For the gift of punishment
For the discipline I have borne.
I kiss the whip, I hand it back,
I thank it now for all it gave,
I cherish now the pain I took,
For cleansing me, I have been saved.
Repeating now my vows to give,
My Mistress, Lord, my oath I keep,
Strict obedience to Your commands,
I will be the servant that You need.
I thank You, Mistress for the pain,
I thank You, Lord, for the cords,
My suffering has taught me well,
I’ll never again disobey Your words.