Work Text
12:30 AM
Joe: guys
Joe: youll never guess what just happened.
Joe: hurry n answer its important
12:35 AM
Gwil: You got into a car crash and are dying? If not I have some constructive criticism on you messaging the chat at 6 in the bloody morn.
Joe: they brought back the double chocolate chip ice cream ben likes
Joe: :D
Ben: ! somebody stop him before he buys me the entire stock !
Rami: I will pay you $10 to buy him the entire stock.
Joe: :)
Ben: :(
Gwil: im going back to sleep oh my god j hate you
Joe: ily2
-
3:00 PM
Joe changed Joe's nickname to: Woman Slayer
Gwil changed Woman Slayer's nickname to:
Overrated Twink
Overrated Twink changed Gwil's nickname to:
Literal Cock
Ben changed Literal Cock's nickname to:
Literal Cock Sucker
Literal Cock Sucker added brianmayforreal into the group!
Ben: oh no
Overrated Twink: o h n o
-
5:00 PM
Rami: What did I miss?
Literal Cock Sucker: Nothing yet. Soon to be a beating.
Rami: What? Who gets beat? Also, your name??
Ben: Scroll up mate.
Overrated Twink: Rami hide me.
Rami: ...
Rami: Joe I'm so sorry.
Overrated Twink: wow
Bri: Boys?
Overrated Twink left the group!
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4:00 AM
Bri added rogertaylorofficial!
Bri added deaconj!
Bri added the_queen!
Bri changed the group name to: Wow
Bri: We need to talk.
Bri: First of all.
Bri changed deaconj's nickname to: deacy
Bri changed the_queen's nickname to: fred
Bri changed rogertaylorofficial's nickname to: HotHeadedSlobOfAMan
HotHeadedSlobOfAMan: i have a feeling the talk is about me ACCIDENTALLY spilling my cocktail on the couch.
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6:24 PMJoe: Okay, names are all back to normal. Better?Gwil changed Joe's nickname to: JoeyJoey: i hate thatGwil: Why? I think its cute.Gwil changed Ben's nickname to: BenjaminGwil changed Rami's nickname to: RammieBenjamin: two can play that gameBenjamin changed Gwil's nickname to: GwilliamGwilliam: Ben that doesn't even make senseBenjamin: i think it's cute.Joey: me too.Gwilliam: sigh.-10:32 PMJoe: benBen: whatJoe: u gay?Ben: ... whatBen: dming u2:00 AMGwil: Joe this is still the group chatGwil: And aren't you two dating?Ben: we areBen: he 'forgot' because 'i dont talk to him'Joe: its not my fault you live in london.. I forget after 3 business days of not getting held.
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9:32 PM
Bri: John.
Rog: JOHN!
Deacy: yeah guys?
Fred: How com no1 evr shouts MY name like dat 😭😭
Rog:he brokethetelly
Bri: Roger broke the- son of a bitch.
Deacy: who broke it?
Rog: Brian
Bri: Roger
Fred: s brain
Bri: How would you know Fred? You're not even here.
Fred: u swire
Deacy: its okay brian. im coming over
Bri: I didn't fucking break it!!
Fred: im commin 2 get ur bar reddy 🍸🍹
Bri: I DIDNT BREAK IT
Deacy: youre only defensive when you did it
Bri left the group!
Fred added brianmayforreal into the group!
Fred: can delilah com
Bri:....
Bri: Yeah Fred. Thank you.
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1:00 AM
Joe: if brian had to chose to between us four to be the dad of, who do you think hed chose?
Joe: roger too
Ben: um... i dunno
Rami: What the fuck guys
Rami: Joe it's like 1 am there
Joe: yeah who do you think theyd chose
Rami: uh
Ben: well obviously brian would chose me and roger would chose you
Joe: haha youre right :)
Rami: What about me?
Ben: are you already a sugar baby to one of them
Rami: ......
Rami: No
Rami: Are... You?
Joe: goddammit ben you pinkie swore :((
Ben: oops :(((
Gwilym: Are you two fucking.. sugar babies
Joe: no
Ben: yes
Ben: i mean no
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9:00 PM
brianmayforreal added deaconj into the group!
Joe: did you just add a fan account to our family group chat? that shit hurtted man :(
Bri: What? No. I added John.
Ben: :0
Joe: >:0
Rami: :)
Roger: :l
Brian: What's that?
Brian: Are those faces?
Brian: How??
Deaconj: Hey
Joe: s u p
Ben:
Typing
Typing
Typing
Ben: oh hey didnt think id see you here
John: I hope I didn't interrupt??
Rami: Oh you didnt interrupt anything sir
John: Sir?
Brian: Guys, please.
Gwil: ffuc cant reda schat
Ben: gwil are you ok?
Gwil: drukn as fuUcKKJJJJJ
Ben: omg what
Joe: omg
Rami: Somebody should pick him up before he gets himself hurt
Brian: You and Joe are still in the states? Ben, are you able to?
Ben: rofl im in tokyo
John: Rofl?
Brian: Roger? You?
Ben: it means Rolling On the Floor Laughing
Roger: I'm just about as bad of mate.. saved by autocorrect :)
John: That makes sense! rofl
Brian: Okay John. Guess it's you. I can't drive, legally.
John: What
John: Oh
John: Okay. Where are you?
Gwil: ncksoxssmwldksomfwpfke haaaa cuet bou
Rami: ??? Are you okay???
Gwil: Sent Their Location
John: Not far, I can walk.
9:00 PM
John: Youll never guess what happened
Joe: he tried to give you a blowie too
Rami: He got hurt
Ben: all the good ones have been taken, really
John: He fell asleep in my lap. I'm still in the car.
Ben: omg rofl
John: Not rofl he's heavy. Reminds me too much of Roger.
Roger: There something wrong with that ?
John: Only when it's been 40 years since I had to carry you out of a bar and thats the thing that reminds me of you. Atleast its not cocaine scares. Anymore.
Roger: Hey I was out of that phase right quick
John: Quick? 20 years!
Roger: Time goes fast when you're high
-
7:00 AM
Gwil: I hate you.
Joe: me?
Gwil: No. Never you. Ben.
Joe: :D
Ben: D:
Gwil: You let JOHN DEACON have his first impression of me be some gay drunkard?
John: Honestly that was my first impression of Fred so I don't think you're too bad off.
Gwil: Oh, fuck me
John: Yeah that sounds like Freddie too.
Ben: ROFLROFLROFLROFL
Gwil: Oh my god.
Joe: i cnat breathe omg
John: What? Is it something I said?
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Freddie started a group chat!
Freddie added Roger
Freddie added John
Freddie: FUCK ur car song
Roger: this again? thot we already went ovr this lol
John: Oh no
Freddie: FUK. UR. CAR. SONG.
Roger: 🚗💕💕👀 sorry cant hear your hatred of my beautiful song over how hot my car is
John: I
Freddie: i hope u crash it
Roger: its got EVERYTHING an audience could want.
Roger: relatability
Roger: CATCHINESS
Roger: C A R S
Freddie: NOT EVERYONE IS A CAR FUCKER
Roger: ATLEAST THEYRE WILLING TO PLAY IT ON THE BLOODY RADIO
Freddie added Brian
Brian: Right, this again.
Brian: The only thing I have to say,
Roger: dont you dare
Brian: My hand on your grease gun
Roger: IVE TAKEN ENOUGH ABUSE
Roger: THE SONGS A HIT NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANKERS THINK
Roger: NOW IM LEAVING. IM NEVER COMING BACK.
John: dont leave roggie
Roger: haha okay john
Freddie: yeah dunt leav rog
Roger: FUCK YOU
Freddie: FUCK YOU
John: guys,,
Roger: I HOPE YOU DIE
John: guys
Freddie: YOU FIRST CUMSLUT
John: freddie
Roger: WOW COMING FROM YOU?? REALLY?????
John: ok guess me and brian arent coming over... with food... and scrabble
Roger: be here in 20
Freddie: make it 15. please
John: on our way :p
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9:23 AM
Joe: holy shit guysJoe: guess whatJoe: guessJoe: cmonBen: what?Joe: i got a date tonight.Gwilym: kBen: sweet, dude! Joe: whats with the lowercase k Gwil? dont worry, youll always be my favorite girl.Gwilym: Sorry, I didn't know my typing meant so much to you.Joe: omgJoe: Gwil are you jealousGwilym: What?? Of course not.Ben: omgJoe: omg.Gwilym: STop that.Joe: OMGJoe: wydrnGwilym: Wanking itBen: too unrealistic you dont like yourself enough to masturbateGwilym: ...Joe: tell us tell us tell us tell us tellusGwilym: Eating dinner.Joe: and????Gwilym: Scrolling tinder.Ben: .......Joe: ..............Gwilym: See you at 7 on Sunday, Joe.Joe: FUCK.
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Blonde Whore: Hey guysBlonde Whore: Oh god who changed my nameJoe: no idea Blonde Whore: joeJoe: >:3cGwilly: Bahahaha what the fuck is thatGwilly: And what the fuck is my nameGwilly: How did you change our names without us seeing?Blonde Whore: mateBlonde Whore: be honestJoe: hey FUCK YOU ok >:3c is cute as hellBlonde Whore: did you get our phones at the oscars or smthnJoe: noJoe: course notJoe: lolBlonde Whore: awwJoe: dont aw meGwilly: Youre cute, Joe.Joe: what the fuck? i literally called ben a whoreBlonde Whore: AHA SO YOU ADMIT ITGwilly: BAHAHA Joe: FUCKRami: Please. Please go to sleep.
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John: Yeah, my uncle basically killed someone for my mom. Roger: That's fucking crazy!! He must be in the mafia or some shit, right. John: General Motors but yeah basically.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
RogerTaylorOffical created a group chat!
RogerTaylorOffical
changed their nickname to Rog
Rog
added The_Queen
Rog added DeaconJ
Rog added BrianMayForReal
The_Queen: hey bb
The_Queen
changed their nickname to Fred
DeaconJ: What's up Rog?Rog: Right soBrianMayForReal: Hello. -BriRog: Supernovas are star orgasmsFred: HELL yea DeaconJ: What?Rog: The star explodes. What do you do when you cum John?DeaconJ: I.BrianMayForReal: What the fuck, Roger? -Bri.Fred: bahahahah hes right luvBrianMayForReal: I.BrainMayForReal: I'm too tired for this. -Bri.
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John: So basically right,John: What I was thinking for this new songJohn: I want to add a rhythm guitar in there, not through the entire thing, but a lot of it. I think it could really help build up the sound and add to the lyrics more.Fred: but see dear look,Fred: if u add another guitar it wud sound like nyenyenyenye, and THEN the lyrics would get all mucked up yano,Fred: m already screaming ffsBrian: No, Freddie, it would be more of a "ninininini, HEY," you know? I get what he means.Fred: i can hear it in my head brian it does nit sound gudJohn: Wh... I'm lost, and it's my song.Brian: He's right, Fred. It would add onto the lyrics, not push them.Fred: what do u no abt the lyrics? if it goes nyenyenyenye then NO 1 WILL HEAR ME U DUMASS THATS WUT M SAYIN LOLBrian: THERE'S OBVIOUSLY GOING TO BE AN ACTUAL RHYTHM TO IT, FRED, I'M NOT JUST GOING TO GO NYENYENYENYENYE. Brian: Probably something more like ni ni ninini nini nini Fred: see that sounds better lolBrian: THANK YOU! That's what I've been TRYING to say!Roger: uuuhhh... right. k.John: I... I'll just play it...
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Brian: ROGERBrian: GUESS WAHTRoger: did you finally find your dick? good job! it only took...Brian: PEOPLE LOVE YOU IN DRAGRoger: 30 ywhatBrian: There's a whole tag on Instagram...Roger: lolol wym.Brian: #rogerinaRoger: iRoger: dear godBrian: Isn't it great?Roger: i can't believe they gave me such a shitty name. Brian: I'm Brianna, Freddie's Melina.Roger: but they couldn't even give ME a real name?Roger: like, Regina? Rogina? Brian: Sucks to suck.Roger: i'm telling john you just fucking said that you absolute madladBrian: No, don't.
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Brian: So what youre saying is;Brian: You're NOT letting me add the solo?John: yes.Brian: I don't understand.Roger: yeah john, he doesnt speak english yaknowJohn: hold on.
John sent a picture!
Brian: Real mature!
Roger sent a picture
Brian: Stop flipping me off! It's RUDE.
John: You know what to do.
John sent a picture
John sent a picture
Roger sent a picture
John sent a picture
Roger sent a picture
Roger sent a picture
Brian: I am BEGGING you to stop.John: ...
John sent a picture!
Brian has left the chat!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
John: I still don't get it. Why are you making a movie? Why now? Did he ever say..?Brian: I can't answer that. It's personal. I just want your blessings.John: Who is Joe?Roger: joe mamaBrian: The actor who we've asked to play you.John: Lol Joe Mama. Brian. Ask who.Brian: John, this joke died.John: Joe MamaRoger: gotem