Work Text
FRAU
Heaven was something to get used to.Heaven was something Frau, in particular, had to get used to.The concept of heaven for him as a child had been a run-of-the-mill reunion with his loved ones. Which made Gido the only expected card in the hand he'd been dealt after his arrival. His parents had moved on, found new bodies and new lives and while his inner child would have loved to see his father again just once, and perhaps his mother for however brief Frau had easily contended himself with their passing. It were old wounds that he knew not to pry around in when it was no use. And it wasn't any use at the moment either.The other expected card was Teito's absence. A piercing hurt that tightened a string around his ribcage, but nevertheless, it had been expected. And some part of him was oddly glad for it, despite how bitter it made him having failed to survive and see his victory. But it came with the counterweight of Teito being alive as Gido had so thoroughly reminded him of. And Frau liked the thought of Teito being alive much better than having to find him here in heaven. Still, the thought left an uncomfortable aftertaste in his mouth, making him wonder if Gido had felt the same sort of bitter relief about his survival. What had happened had never seemed overly calculated to Frau, only now in retrospect with too much time to think and too much time to himself because for once he was left alone when he asked for it.The unexpected card was the cathedral. The replica of the great church of Barsburg he had spent a rather significant part of his life in. To say that it had been unexpected though was a grave understatement. While he had been alive he'd damned the place from hell to hackney, and now he was fucking stuck in it with a number of previously undead shareholders of the death god circle he had been part of. A privilege Frau had not wanted to extend to his afterlife, but unfortunately, that didn't seem to matter.Gido had been kind enough to allow him to sleep. And slept he had. (Just how long Frau wasn't sure of, because while there were night and day in this place it was hard to keep track of time since it was stuck in perpetual spring just like Labrador's gardens. So for all that he knew it could have been weeks just as much as months, but Frau tried not to linger on that detail. Perhaps he'd only been asleep for a few days.)Sleep had always come easy to him. A promise of quiet. A promise of calm. A promise of not being run over by his own emotions, when they were overwhelming or out of place. An escape from the burning in his arm too.The coffin had helped with that, it had dulled all noises and darkened his sight, made it easier. So he hadn't had expected to find sleep so easily. And yet his soul had seemingly taken matters into its own hands. Now that the scythe was gone. Now that Zehel was gone. Now that Teito wasn't here. – It demanded rest. A well-deserved rest.On some days he woke and the bed next to him was still warm, but on most occasions it was cold. Frau had thought he would have to get used to the warmth Gido's soul was radiating, but ultimately it had been the easiest part to roll over and bury himself in the empty side of the before falling back asleep. To think of him as something tangible again that he could reach out for was as much a burden as it was, was a relief for his soul. Overwhelmingly so in some instances.Against his will, Gido had dragged him out of bed. Frau couldn't begin to say for how long he had stayed in that room in a haze between wake and sleep and mourning and sometimes blissful ignorance of where he was and what had happened. In that room, he had lost track of time and hadn't bothered to figure it out again, but now that he was out Frau felt like a mere day since his death and arrival in heaven and at the cathedral had passed. Like time had stopped for him and only for him. But of course, that was only wishful thinking. Time never stopped for anybody.“I thought this was supposed to be heaven,” he'd grumbled when Gido had dragged his tired body out of bed. Heaven should fulfil all his wishes. So if his soul wished to sleep it should be allowed to. Unless of course there was Gido who had different plans for him.Heaven should lack for nothing, Frau had thought while he had stared at Gido more grumpy than tired because he was being forced to get up. As welcoming as the cathedral and its inhabitants were Frau couldn't help but to think of it as mildly overwhelming on good days and flooring on bad days. It had been almost too easy to settle in.Frau had half expected to be given bishop's clothing, and quite frankly it would have amused him to some degree, but they looked more like what could have been found in the church's donation centre. That also… kind of amused him. It brought up questions that Frau wasn't quite sure he wanted to know the answers to but was sure he would eventually get considering he would have to spend half an eternity in this place.But instead of asking he'd gotten dressed and decided to content himself with Gido's presence for today. Feeding the hungry hollow which had missed him, missed him, missed him. His ribcage seemed to shrink and burst at the same time with that thought. Frau flexed the fingers on his right hand, vision spinning ever so slightly to gain back focus as his eyes scanned the large dining halls of the Barsburg church that wasn't the Barsburg church, but he lacked a better name for it so it would stay the Barsburg church until someone would be kind enough to inform him of its name. Because Gido insisted there wasn't one, other than cathedral and that was merely a descriptor of what it was, and Frau thought that was utter bullshit anyway. Several generations of Ghosts inhabited this place. Someone had to have named it something at some point. Something other than church or replica or sanctuary or cathedral. Or perhaps they were truly just that unimaginative with names. Somehow that thought was worse.At the Barsburg church, the real Barsburg church, the dining room halls had always been bursting at the seams with life. To see the halls that could easily fit a couple hundred occupied by what seemed to be not even fifty made his gut sink with estrangement for a place he knew should make him feel at home. And did most of the time, just not… right now. Despite the fact that nothing would ever compare to the Aegis, but that was a different story.Pushing those thoughts aside Frau trudged after Gido. He had been promised food that he wasn't interested in. And coffee. Frau had decided it was worth not arguing with Gido about his lack of hunger for the promise of coffee.“Can't say that the absence of meat on these tables isn't expected, but it is disappointing,” Frau muttered to himself as he stared at the table. Taking his seat across from Gido without thinking much. He watched the man he had looked up to grab for a strange fruit and something that looked a lot like squishy sea creatures and devour them. Neither looked particularly tasty to Frau who found a fork to poke at some of the cuts on a platter in front of him with only mild interest.“Never understood why you liked that stuff so much.” Gido grimaced, seemingly entertained when Frau clearly had never considered his tastes. “Eat,” he encouraged him, but Frau only kept poking and pushing the food on the plate in front of him around. He'd been promised coffee, but there was no coffee and his appetite still wasn't there.He recognised something that seemed to be eggs, but the longer he stared at them, the less he wanted to know about where they had come from. What sort of heaven involved the slaughter of any living creature for consumption. Now that was a weird thought. Thoughtlessly Frau picked up a piece of what very much looked like meat to him and shoved it into his mouth. It tasted too bland for meat and he didn't actually want to know what it was made of.Maybe their heaven was bear hell and it actually was meat, Frau mulled chewing and watched Gido. “You promised me coffee,” he remarked. It was still the only reason he had agreed to come here.When shortly thereafter a cup of the bitter, thick liquid was pushed in front of him Frau decided not to question how or why or who, but to simply thank the heavens for the gift. A weird idiom in light of the fact that he was in fact in one of the heavens. But perhaps the others still held influence on his fate… and then Frau decided to not further question the technicalities or how this particular place worked. And what sort of heaven it was in the first place. Perhaps it was merely an interim stage of the afterlife they got stuck in because their souls had been marked by the death gods and needed a place to stay that wasn't quite heaven and wasn't quite earth. Maybe there were more heavens without any Ghosts. How the fuck was he supposed to know anyway, this would have been Castor's forte. And Castor wasn't here...Castor. The thought of him had a surge of memories to well up in him with such unexpected force that Frau was sure it would have made the other laugh if he knew how much he suddenly missed their arguments. How much he missed the hustle and bustle of the church that wasn't still even in the depth of the night because of all the shadows crawling along the walls and whispering to each other.It was with those thoughts that Frau kept staring at Gido absent-mindedly“I told you, you should eat,” Gido repeated with a sigh.“Why?” Frau frowned, not letting go of his coffee cup. Which was, for now, the only thing he could keep himself interested in. The only thing other than Gido. “There's no need to, is there?” They were dead, it would be purely satisfactory with no real gain.“It's good for your soul,” Gido replied matter-of-factly and just a little fussy, like Frau, was still a misbehaving child.But that only made him snort in amusement. “I studied what's good for my soul and decided to do anything but that,” Frau reminded him with a smirk. He had been a bishop after all. If only in title more than often because he had taken that claim very situational.“Suit yourself,” Gido's eyes seemed to tell him as he shoved more of the strange fruits and whatever else the other stuff was into his mouth. Frau was certain some of it had to have been alive at some point. Or perhaps it just magically appeared just like his coffee. Coffee. Warm and soothing and somewhat familiar compared to what he was used to from downstairs. And somehow that was the one thing which made him wary about it. Most of everything about this place was weird, but somehow it had gotten the coffee right.The last time Gido and he had shared a meal he had been a child. They had been the Aegis, he had hidden away in the bowels of the ship to cool off and Gido had come to him with food meaning to calm him down. Nobody but Gido ever came for him when he hid the bowels of the ship, Frau remembered not sure why it was so vivid compared to the rest of his memories. Once again Frau started pushing the food in front of him around, malcontent with himself and the situation. For so many years he had longed for this part of his life back and now he couldn't enjoy it the way he had wanted to because Teito was missing from his life. What a mess.Once again Gido insisted that he should eat and Frau picked one of the egg-like things up. It tasted nothing like egg, making him wonder if anything was the way it seemed in this place. He remembered his coffee and drank from it.He wanted to say something but forgot what it was when Gido's attention shifted from him to a woman who passed by their table, briefly running her fingers through his dark as she addressed first him and then smiled kindly at Frau. Her face looked familiar but Frau wasn't so sure which of the Ghosts she reminded him of. Her eyes reminded him a little of Teito, just a little.“Who's that?” He asked, chewing on something that looked like a fruit but judging by its consistency it could have been anything but that. He watched her leave, not quite sure what to make of the fact that her presence was bringing a reality to light that he had been aware of only at the edge of consciousness. They weren't alone in this place. A thought which made the child in him uncomfortably and stupidly jealous. He didn't want to share now that he had gained back what he had lost and perhaps Gido knew that because he had look on his face like he had seen him right through.Of course, they weren't alone. Of course, he'd have to share Gido. Malcontent, mostly with himself, Frau leaned his head onto his hand and watched Gido.“Tamika, she was Vertrag before Kreuz, when I first took over Zehel's place,” Gido explained nonchalantly before he continued eating. He had always been oddly well-mannered for a pirate Frau remembered. Out of all the things his crew had been able to get away with he'd hounded them for their table manners. A thought which in retrospect was odd and a little funny too. Gido had been an odd pirate sometimes.His glance shifted around the wide, empty halls, realising they were the only ones by themselves and that some more had joined since they had entered the hall. “How many of us… are there exactly?” Frau asked, meaning to change the subject. He didn't know what to say anyway. To think that all of them had been Ghosts once. It seemed almost ridiculous that there should have been that many of them when it had been hard enough to figure out who the others were in the first place. “You said it takes time to wash out that out of us, but there's an awful lot of people here.” He frowned at the small groups they formed around the long dining hall tables. Seemed they were sticking to the faces they were familiar with. Just like him.“Well, there are those like you, who need to bide their time, most of the others are here for company because they don't want to go back alone or because they don't want to leave the others behind, and then there are some who don't want to leave at all...” Gido explained. He'd stopped eating and poking at the air with his fork while he talked, looking almost malcontent now. Frau wondered what for, but that wasn't the most pressing matter.“Why the fuck would I not want to leave this place? This is worse than downstairs,” he couldn't help but to complain.Gido shrugged. “I don't know, some have grown attached to this place I think, others think it their duty to keep it in shape for when the next of us arrive… some...” There seemed to be something he wanted to say, but either he didn't know how or he couldn't. Either way he remained silent and the disgruntled look returned to his face.“So you're basically the bishops and nuns of this place, why the bloody fuck did I die, I didn't ask to start my life over where I left it off.” But Gido only laughed at his frustrations, while Frau grumbled his way into silence.“I know,” Gido remarked, smirking. “But it's part of how we keep ourselves busy, we've got half an eternity to spend, there are worse things than keeping this place in.”“Is this purgatory? Tell me I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and actually find myself in heaven.”That too was amusing to Gido. “You could always find someone to spar with,” Gido mused. “There are plenty of us here who like to pass their time that way, or devour the library, which is our equivalent to the Cuvere, even you should find that interesting, there's a plethora of stories in this place all waiting to be told...” Frau couldn't place the smile that showed on Gido's face when he said that as if he were insinuating something that should be obvious. “We play games, most of the time, any kind really, we've got nothing else to do other than to bore ourselves to death while oversharing….”This time it was Frau who laughed, although it felt out of place. “It looks so empty 's all...” Was all he said and ran a hand down his face. Suddenly glad that Gido had dragged him out of his room, not sure why and even less sure if the food had anything to do with it in the first place. But he was glad and his soul felt light, as light as it would when he had exorcised kors when he'd still been half a child.“We also watch the lake of course,” Gido added quietly once the quiet had settled comfortably between them. “We keep watch over our successors as well as the people we've left behind, sometimes… both at once.”Frau remained silent. Staring at the plates of food between them, Gido's words reminded him of a question he'd had on his mind for quite too long, but for the longest time Gido had been dead and the question hadn't mattered because of that. But he was here now and Gido was here now, so there was no point in putting it off. It could wait till breakfast over though he figured.Frau had enjoyed his solitude in the Church of Barsburg just as much as its noise. There had been days where he had wanted nothing more than to escape the people and the masses and the noise, all things this replica lacked. All things that he now stupidly missed, so he kicked at every little pebble on their way along the corridors. He didn't really have a plan of where he wanted to go, but something was drawing him towards the inner yard and the seven towers. All still intact in this world. Of course still intact.Frowning Frau found himself staring Zehel's tower up and down. “Did you guess or did you know?” He asked quietly. Something seized violently at his heart in his chest because, for all that he wanted Gido to answer the question which had been eating at him for years, he didn't want to know the answer. “I'll know when you lie.” A weak threat masked with a playful smile but it made him feel just a little better.Behind him Frau heard the rustle of clothes and the click of a lighter, he wanted a smoke too but he couldn't uncurl the fists inside his pockets. “I knew,” Gido replied after what seemed an eternity.“How?” Silently Frau cursed his trembling voice.“Lucky guess,” Gido smiled apologetically. Not for his fate, Frau realised but for the lie those words were.Ten years ago he would have called him out on it, now Frau resigned himself to an annoyed sigh. “Suit yourself,” he grumbled and lit a cigarette. “You guys can play pretend bishop for all I care, I'm gonna take a bath.”“Sounds lovely, take me with you?” Gido chirped in response and Frau smirked around his cigarette. He liked that change in their relationship. He liked the comfort of having Gido close to him. There was something easy about it, so easy it was almost frightening but he'd longed to have him back for too long to question it in the first place.The only downside to taking a bath in heaven was that if Frau wanted anything bigger than an ordinary bathtub he would have to content himself with that weird contraption outside the cathedral or so Gido informed him. Also, he had to rely on Gido to show him the way because he wouldn't have been able to remember the way even if his afterlife depended on it. He'd seen the place exactly once and that time he'd been too distracted to pay attention to much of anything.Whoever had thought of this place had surely allowed several generations of Profe to run wild and knock themselves out. That was it, Frau thought as he followed Gido, someone had told Profe to go absolutely bonkers with their powers while the assets for interior or, well outdoor design had been graciously provided by the pope. He wasn't sure how to otherwise explain the design choices heaven offered.Frau grabbed a handful of petals from his head, crushing them in his palm. Out here there really was no escape from these things. Just as Gido had predicted. Baths had always made him feel better while he'd been Zehel. So why shouldn't they now. They came with the added bonus of Gido's company.Gido was so awfully at ease with everything that surrounded them, enough to throw Frau off balance. And yet he felt at ease all the same, just for the fact that he was with him and he didn't know what to make of that.A part of him wanted to repeat his question from earlier, but something told him that he wouldn't get an answer. Not an honest one anyway. Not right now at least. He'd pry it out of him eventually though. “So did you only don the pirate gear for old times sake?” He asked instead as they undressed. “Thought I wouldn't recognise you otherwise or what?”“Something like that,” Gido replied and shrugged and Frau followed him into the water. Incapable of keeping any real distance between them because he did want to be close to Gido in any form or way. “Something about the things the dead want to see when they come here,” he added with a little smile and watched as Frau ducked his head under one of the spouts. The same dragon's head from last time. It stared at him with disinterest while Frau scrutinised it and pushed the wet hair out of his face. While Gido seemed content just to soak in the warm water.He didn't know what to say to that. He didn't know what to say to so many things when Gido seemed to have an answer for everything and yet it seemed for so little. “Is there any possibility of hibernating through the next couple decades?” Frau asked instead when he leaned back to make himself comfortable, with his arms resting on the edge of the bath. Close enough for his legs to entangle with Gido's. Kreuz had done that, albeit through gentle force.“Technically you could I guess, but where's the fun in that? Don't you want to get to know this place? Or the others?”Frau thought about that. Everything had felt so easy and light when Gido had first brought him the cathedral, but then an almost violent urge to sleep had overcome him. Too easy, Frau couldn't describe it any other way. Everything had been too easy and too comfortable and the only solution his soul had seen had been sleep. But he didn't want to sleep through half an eternity or however long it would take till he could see Teito again. If he did that he'd miss all his time with Gido, and he wouldn't want to miss that for the world.“We are all we have in this Frau, why not make the most of it?”“Like you did when you picked me up?” Frau asked with half a grin.Gido snorted and muttered something that sounded like “wasn't planned” and “brat” and then something that Frau couldn't catch. “Didn't hear you complaining.”No of course not, Frau thought to himself, oddly bitter because he had missed Gido and that was the crux of it all. He'd missed Gido so much. Too much. More than his soul had been able to bear. Of course, he'd given in way too easily. He would have never fought him. Not on that.“It was you or me and all I had to stop that… thing from eating your soul for breakfast was Zehel, that wasn't much of a choice, Frau.” The sincere quiet of Gido's voice tightened like a wire around his chest, and while it made Frau sink a little deeper into the water he wasn't overcome with the urge to sleep. He figured that was a good sign. That for now, his soul had rested enough. That was good, Frau thought and closed his eyes. “Does anybody other than us use this place?” He asked and stared at the sky, wondering what he was supposed to call it now. Was there a heaven above this place? Was their world beneath it or was there hell or was there another heaven? He tried to remember from what lingered of Zehel's memories.“Not many, most stick to the bathtubs once they get to the cathedral,” Gido explained. “There's enough room for everybody so it's not like you have to try if you want a bit of space and peace of mind or a quiet bath that may last hours or days….”A year ago the idea of a bath for days would have been like heaven to Frau, now that it seemed to be most of what he could spend his time on it was losing its appeal. “Are you going to answer my question from earlier?”“All in due time,” Gido sighed. He had settled with one arm on the edge of the bath and his head leaning against his hand, seeming… distracted, although he couldn't say what for. It gave Frau an unwavering sense of foreboding, but it took a while of pestering for Gido to give in with a heavy sigh. “Well, you were going to find out anyway I suppose… for all that your little prince seems to want to save his uncle, talk has been that Verloren needs to be brought to justice, but that cannot be done without a full set of ghosts….” Gido made a face. “It's not Tiashe's idea that's for sure but his political position is too unstable and at the rate that this is going he's going to be overruled, they've been trying to get rid of Ayanami for over a decade now… if push comes to shove we might have to pick him up and store him away at the cathedral till we figure out what to do with him… nobody really knows what that means for anyone so right now it's not worth agonising over…”Frau couldn't help the feeling of his gut sinking with invisible rocks. He stared at Gido like he had grown a second or third mouth. “They can't get away with this, can they?” Of course, they could, Gido's expression said. The thought that he might have to share this place with Ayanami was utterly secondary in light of the fact that Frau very much knew what he would do in that case and more importantly he could do something in that case. But he wouldn't be able to do anything for Teito.“They've got an easy case if they use the war against him… and he's a warsfeil, they've got plenty to prosecute him if they choose to” Gido replied so nonchalantly that Frau wondered what it was hiding. “And they will I guess...” Gido sighed and buried his face in his hand. As if he didn't want him to read the emotion that crossed his face. “Hey, do you want to see your successor?” He then said all of a sudden and way too chipper.Numbly Frau stared at him. Not knowing what to do when Gido made the transition of the topics seem to effortlessly. Like he hadn't just told him that perhaps Teito wouldn't get to keep the last person of his family and make peace with everything which had happened. Something Frau was sure he wouldn't have been capable in his position. Not with Ayanami. Not with everything Ayanami had done. But it wasn't his choice to make anymore and Teito had always been too kind anyway. “Sure...” Frau replied, still too dumbfound to fully process what Gido had just offered, and then realised too late that he had basically agreed to see the lake again. But then they were already getting out of the water, drying off and getting dressed and it was only now that they were walking that Frau's head was clear enough to remember what Gido had told him on his first day here.“Wait,” he paused, even stopped walking for a moment.“You said you didn't know who would take over my place, you said you didn't even know who was still alive.”Now it was Gido who paused while Frau's eyes kept boring holes into his back. Then he turned his head a little his way and shrugged, a little apologetic smile on his face. “Little white lie.”“Little white lie?!” They would have to have a conversation about what counted as such later.“You had other things to worry about.” And unfortunately that was true and Frau trudged after him in a grumble when they resumed their way. While his own vision had been clear and simple and just there he noticed a myriad of voices bubbling beneath the surface of the lake before it cleared for Gido as if he had to decide first and Frau couldn't help but wonder who all these people were. Perhaps his crew, perhaps Magdalena, perhaps whatever family he'd had that Frau hadn't known about. But now it revealed the image of a young girl, perhaps only a year or two older than Teito. But it wasn't her that drew his attention, it was Castor's voice. He hadn't expected to see whoever they were in the company of the other Ghosts already, much less in Castor's and so… friendly. It was evident from his tone that he seemed fond already of this reincarnation of Zehel. Something that he'd said made her smile and she admired his wooden arm.“How did you find her?” Frau asked, carefully examining the scene which played itself out in front of him. He thought she kinda looked like Gido, they shared the same dark hair and there was something about the eyes even though hers were a dark blue, perhaps it was the worn flight suit that seemed to have seen better days. It was her Frau tried to concentrate on, her and not much else because she was the one thing he wasn't familiar with. “It's always the kids huh?” The words came out more bitter than he wanted to, but they all had been just kids.Gido didn't have anything to say to that, but when he did speak his words surprised Frau. “She's my niece.” For a moment Frau noticed the picture of a woman who looked a lot like the young girl in front of them flickering at the edge of her image, but it was gone too soon for Frau to get a good look at her. All that he could notice was how she looked kind of like Gido as well. “I have… well I had,” he corrected himself, “had four sisters, figured it had to be one of their kids.” He said it with a little smile that was as bitter as it was fond, as if the memories those words brought were some of his happiest. He didn't even seem to notice it, but it made Frau smile a little himself. Despite the bitter aftertaste those memories seemed to have for Gido. “It was just a hunch.”The thought of never having considered that Gido might have had a family he could have been looking for made him feel stupid, then again what gain would he have had if he had found his sisters. They wouldn't have been what he'd wanted, what he'd been looking for. They wouldn't have been able to ease the pain… and besides Ghosts weren't allowed to be with anyone who had been around when they had died. “Did they know you...” He couldn't really bring himself to ask the whole question. “I guess they suspected it… not sure, haven't seen them in forever… well, not counting,” Gido gestured at the lake.Frau frowned at the picture of his… well, what exactly was this girl to him other than his successor. He had to share some sort of lineage with Gido… So she would have to be something to him. But then again Frau figured that bloodlines were of little consequence to the dead and that him Gido were most likely on opposite ends on their family tree so it didn't matter an awful lot. Besides, he thought absent-mindedly, Gido had effectively been a stranger to him for a good part of his life. And there were others things that concerned him more. Frau rubbed his face. He wondered if Gido knew the family they were supposed to belong to, but he couldn't imagine him as anything other than the pirate he had met all those years ago. Anything else seemed ridiculous. Yet… what did he know of anything. Zehel hadn't exactly been talkative in that aspect. “Do you think she'll manage?”“I hope she does...” Gido frowned, “but given the circumstances, I wouldn't worry too much about the scythe… that'll be a summer vacation compared to her having to deal with Verloren when they get to that.”Perhaps that was why Castor was so kind to her. Frau closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that. It should have been him to wield it and strike him down. Not this poor kid who had been unfortunate enough to belong to their family and suffer a sudden and perhaps tragic death. “What's her name?”“Maya I think, sweet girl, I think you would have liked each other.”Inertia. It was the best descriptor Frau had for the days that passed. A listlessness that wouldn't pass had settled and he was falling into old habits that kept his body working in a haze. Wake up, eat, tend to the church grounds when he felt like it, find some mundane task to distract himself, more ground keepers tasks, more distractions. It was almost as if he'd never left the seventh district, but infinitely duller.“It's like time stands still doesn't it.” In his hazy mind, it took Frau several moments to recognise Kreuz's voice. “Like a hot summer day where everything feels slower than normal.”Frau looked up from the water. He'd been numbly staring at the ripples his fingers caused on the surface, waiting for Razette to appear and mock him with his own expression. It was one of the things he found himself doing before he knew what he was doing and then he was absorbed in it before he found the strength to move. There wasn't anything better to do anyway. “Only that it's never summer here,” Frau remarked and shifted his position to get comfortable again. Perpetual spring was Profe's forte after all.Smiling Kreuz nodded and sat by his side. “Feels empty doesn't it? It was the same for me when I first came here.” There was too much sympathy in his voice for Frau's taste so he didn't say anything. “I'm glad Teito met you,” he said when it became clear that Frau didn't have anything to say. “It was the first time I didn't want to bury myself and sleep till I'm… for a lack of a better expression, dead.” The smile on his face had turned wry. “Few of the others understand how overbearing this place can be when you've spent a significant part of your life in it and now have to watch it inhabited by a fraction of the life it's supposed to hold… they try to be understanding, but it's a weight so heavy on your soul even the smallest things become unbearable and anything greater than that is immediately crushing… or it can be if you're not careful and don't listen to yourself.”Frau didn't know what to say to that either so he kept staring at him, although with a new-found sympathy for the former Ghost. He had expected this conversation a lot more awkward in his head. Now that it wasn't he felt oddly at ease. “There aren't many former bishops in this place I take it?” He mused quietly. To think that Teito's second dad of all people would understand the weariness this place would make him feel was odd as well.“Not nearly as much as our history would like you to believe,” Kreuz's smile regained some of its former softness. “It's been a long while since there were so many Ghosts in one place, you were lucky, most of us were on our own.”“So… how much exactly did you watch?” Frau couldn't keep himself from asking and he couldn't help the uneasy feeling that settled in his stomach with it. It had always accompanied the thoughts of this conversation, but the only way he was going to get rid of it Frau figured was to address it. Whether he wanted to or not. He would have half an eternity to get over it once this was over. So better get it out of the way early.“Enough.” And somehow that answer truly was enough and made Frau flinch a little too, which seemed to amuse Kreuz. “Enough to outweigh what I saw when the military first got his hands on him, and if I could I would take all your darkness and give you back to him, but that is beyond my power in this place and would have been beyond my power as Vertrag as well.” Kreuz closed his eyes and sighed quietly but deeply, appearing strangely content with the world around him. “It's good for something though, isn't it?”Frau couldn't say why but he felt oddly caught when Kreuz spoke, reminded of when Gido had picked him up in the endless wild gardens of heaven and their time together. Like he had to explain something he didn't even know how to talk about in the first place.“I can see that you've missed him, it's in your eyes,” Kreuz chuckled. Seemingly not at all perturbed by his reaction. “Anyone with a bit of sense in their mind can see that,” he paused, “besides it's nice to see Gido bond with someone that's not Tamika.” He said it with a little laugh and a dismissive wave of his hand. As if the latter had been expected.“That's something I've heard before… something like that anyway.” Frau couldn't help but frown though, not quite sure what to make of it that he'd been the cause of those words in both instances. “I wonder what made him like that, how do the two of them know each other anyway, didn't she have Vertrag's place before you?”The way the silence stretched out between them made Frau wonder if his question had been insensitive given the matter of the subject. He was about to give up on an answer when Kreuz finally spoke. “You would have to ask Gido that I fear, or her, we try to be considerate of these things… with all that we're able to see through the lake, it's hard not be overbearing on each other sometimes, we see too much, we hear too much, we talk too much, but it's all we have… so for better or for worse, you shouldn't ask me,” Kreuz concluded with a shrug and a sigh. “As much as I'd like to give you an answer.”Frau didn't argue with that, he knew exactly what he meant and it was why he'd kept away from the others often enough. It felt like his life had been laid bare at their feet and he hadn't even known. He didn't know how much they knew, what they knew and if he wanted to know what they knew in the first place, but there was something oddly reassuring about Kreuz's words. “So nobody's going to ask uncomfortably personal questions?”“Oh, don't get me wrong, we love uncomfortably personal questions, but most of us can show some restraint when necessary.”“How comforting…” Frau wasn't sure if that would make him feel any more at ease, but at least he could expect that nobody would bring up what they weren't supposed to.Against better judgement but because he'd much rather spend his day poring over books before he'd ever return to his bishop duties Frau found himself in the library of the cathedral. Neither of the two tasks excited him, but at least one of the piqued his curiosity. Gido had mentioned that it was their equivalent to the Cuvere and Frau had more questions than he knew what to do with. He'd always wanted to know how far back the Cuvere dated but unfortunately he was never going to find that out now and even though he was trying he doubted he'd ever find out how far back this library dated either. He would turn into the skeletal remains of his soul (if there was something like that to begin with) before he would find the oldest books in this hopelessly disorganised place, and he doubted that souls could turn into skeletons in the first place. But then again Eve had died, or so the story went and the Founders for all that Frau figured must have seen her remains. If there were remains.There were a lot of titles he remembered from the library at the Church of Barsburg, but even more that he'd never heard of and then plenty of spines merely adorned with the symbol of a Ghost or the name of one of the houses. Most of them were in a language he could read, but for every book that he could make sense of there seemed to be just as many written in every existing dialect in between and beyond the kingdoms of Raggs and Barsburg. Some were even written in the language of the Gods. A little surprising considering they weren't Gods anymore and the letters were incomprehensible gibberish to him, and if that was the case then it would have to be the same for everyone else.How odd, Frau caught himself thinking, wondering if staring long enough at the letters would make him remember a word or two. Zehel would have been capable of reading these books and the damned scythe too. Absent-mindedly Frau touched his right arm. A mere habit now that it was gone.“There you are!”Frau jumped where he stood, shutting the book in his hands immediately out of pure reflex when Gido appeared in his peripheral vision out of sheer nowhere. Leisurely his figure leaned against the bookshelf. “Don't do that,” Frau grumbled. He opened the book again, scrutinising the pages not sure what he had been looking for in the first place, just… something. History. The history that he had become an unasked part of.Malcontent Frau shoved the book back onto its place on the shelf and shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to admit it but he was lost.“I was wondering when you'd turn up here,” Gido said and explained, when Frau scrutinised him now for a change, “everybody sooner or later finds their way here, some in search of history other to escape it.” He waved a novel in front of Frau's eyes. “I'd guess but I'd say it's obvious in your case.” If anything that now only made Frau pull a face. How severely unfair that Gido could see him through so easily it was sometimes and utterly comforting it was other times, and how hard to decide which one of the two it was most of the time. “Don't talk like you're any help, neither of us has ever been to that damned house,” Frau muttered frustrated. There were so many questions he'd now never get the answers to because he'd missed his chance to face the people who had the answers. Perhaps Asyl would know, but even that wasn't a guarantee. Their bloodline had scattered far and Zehel's blood was running thin after so many centuries.Something passed over Gido's face. Something interesting that Frau had trouble placing and then it was gone before he could make sense of it and replaced with a chipper smile. “That doesn't mean I don't know anything about it,” Gido replied and placed a hand on his back to steer Frau away from the disorganised bookshelves. He followed without a complaint and took his seat at one of tables which were scattered around the library to be used for reading and studying. Frau saw slightly familiar faces and gestures and mannerisms in the few Ghosts they had passed. A resemblance that would have been eerie under different circumstances but was rather calming for the fact their presence brought life into this otherwise empty looking place.Without Castor's dolls and the soon-to-be bishop apprentices, it was lacking. The shadows of the dolls seemed to be moving in the corners of his eyes, but when he turned his head there was no clatter of wooden limbs dressed in nuns attire, only empty spaces.“Was there something specific you were looking for?” Gido asked as he made himself comfortable on one of the chairs, putting his legs up on another while Frau did the same now. Half out of habit, half because he still wanted to be like him, but that wasn't something he would admit out loud.Thoughtfully Frau folded his arms and tipped the chair his legs were on backwards as best as he could without moving his feet too much. “Not really, I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be looking for but this damned bloodline dictated the last half of my life and I have literally nothing better to do.” He scowled at the ceiling far up above them. “I mean, I got to see Castor's and Lab's place and I don't even know where the fuck ours would be or what it looks like.”He didn't pay the sounds next to him any mind, but he heard the thud of books being dropped on the table and how Gido turned their pages. Only when he rather pointedly tapped his finger onto the pages of one of them did Frau bother to turn his attention towards him and the stack of books he'd supposedly magically summoned to the table.It was a book of maps he realised. Surprised to find that it didn't show the districts established after the war, even though he recognised that part of Raggs immediately as the seventh district.“The manor is about here…” Gido's finger circled an area near the mountains. “There's a lot of forest there and everything's snow white in winter… I've been told,” he added it a little too quickly for Frau not to look at him with curious eyes. But Gido cleared his throat and straightened himself as if to say this wasn't up for discussion now.Idly his finger was tapping the map as if in thought. “Our house was founded in Raggs but it wasn't part of founding families of the kingdom, because of its close relationship to the church our house was meant to be and still is the peacekeeper between seven families as well as the church and the kingdoms.” Gido chuckled. “Doesn't make us the most beloved family but it gives us the unique opportunity to have our eyes and ears everywhere… and it saved our asses in the war, because all other six families would have taken it as a grave insult should Barsburg have raised their sword against us, not to mention that the pope is the head of our house, be the title as empty as it is, the official face of the house is still whoever currently owns the estate,” Gido paused thoughtfully.“The pope is head of our house, seriously?” Frau scoffed. It wasn't that he didn't know, it was rather that he'd never been allowed to question it.“As I said, a formality mostly, he doesn't hold any real power, just prestige similar to the emperor of Barsburg.”“And that's all in these books?” Frau glanced around them a little unbelieving. Mostly unbelieving that it was possible to find anything in this library. His eyes fell back on the stack of books on the table between them, wondering what was in them.Gido shrugged again. “Most of it, most of what I just told you I've been taught.”“Taught by whom?” It couldn't have been the pirates, but exactly that was all Gido had ever been to him. A pirate. Frau couldn't imagine him being anything else. Much less an ordinary child. “I bet you were just as much a pain in the ass as I was as a kid,” he teased with half a grin. Unwilling to entertain the thought that perhaps Gido was omitting part of the truth, that Gido was lying to him in some way. Perhaps out of habit because of the Ghosts metaphorical muzzle, but perhaps a little more intentional than Frau liked.Then something else occurred to him. “Once the whole ordeal with Ayanami is done, Teito will want to visit that place...” Frau muttered to himself, eyes cast on the map, but when he looked up he watched Gido's expression shift most curiously. “What do you think he'll find?” He asked without averting his eyes. There were many ways to call out a lie and Frau didn't mind poking around Gido's brain till he figured out the answer. It was an approach a little less direct than he liked, but Frau had a feeling yelling wouldn't get him anywhere in this case.“I don't know,” Gido said with a voice so absolutely devoid of everything that Frau wasn't sure if he thought him dumb or simply didn't want to give away anything that could have been a hint towards what he wouldn't tell him. Either way, it made Frau reconsider his indirect approach for he wanted to smack one of the books in his face. But instead, Frau huffed, shoulders heaving. Out of all the possible answers he had for Gido's lack of honesty he didn't like any of them, for the least upsetting of them was that Gido simply wanted him to figure it out himself and yet it said too much that Gido didn't even seem to think he should have at least that little information.Shaking his head in dismissal of the subject Frau studied the pre-war map of the kingdoms again, wondering why Gido had chosen it. Or perhaps he had simply picked the first map he'd found when opening the book. “What good does it anyone that the pope...” Of all people the pope, Frau had always wondered how that had made sense and didn't upset anybody.“What good does it that he's the titleholder for the house of Verius? Wouldn't it be enough that he's part of the family.”Gido hummed thoughtfully. “Technically, I guess… there's a story to it, but I don't know how much of it is true, when our house was founded it was given the title of an archdukedom, which fun fact,” Gido smirked, “puts us below the emperors and kings but above their offspring, but that's by the by – fact is that this made male heirs a precious commodity so when it came to show their loyalty to the kingdom as well as the church they got cold feet and sent their first born to the latter and their second born to the army, neither of their sons died, but it's said their eldest didn't want to leave the church so they pulled a few strings and he was elected pope so they could still claim he was the head of their house, while the younger one would became the public face, noblesse oblige, yadda yadda yadda...” Gido waved his hand dismissively.Frau wasn't sure how Gido could tell it as if half of what he'd just said wasn't a matter of great relevance. He also made a mental note about the indirectly inherited right to boss Teito around, hoping that his future self would still remember when the time came. “That sounds really inconvenient and stupid,” he remarked dryly.Gido laughed quietly. “Maybe so, after all the only requirement to this day is for the pope to share our lineage, but it has always kept the church sympathetic towards our family… and we use to keep an eye on them, not to mention that it is incredibly convenient for the Ghosts.”“Yeah, convenient,” Frau parroted with a dry smile.“It's flawed like everything else,” Gido shrugged as if he had no opinion at all on it or he didn't want to let his true thoughts be known. “Of course the requirement of a male heir became old-fashioned and nowadays the oldest child inherits, unless something different is stated in the will of the deceased head of the house… but old-fashioned is the middle name of aristocracy.” The wry smile on his lips said more than words could ever have and somehow that answered more questions than all he had just told him.Gido grabbed a book from the middle of the stack and Frau only had time to think that it was peculiar how it showed nothing but the symbol of Zehel on the back of the spine. Frau watched him thumb through it, wondering what he was looking for. A question easily answered when he was shown an illustration of a man who looked more like Gido than himself although his eyes weren't as dark as Gido's, more like his own, but they shared the same dark hair that would have made it easy to mistake them for close relatives.Nante. Frau read the name below the picture, but it didn't ring any bell. He skimmed the text which accompanied it. Two siblings. A brother and a sister. Five children. That poor wife of his, that was his first thought and then that perhaps if it weren't for the fact that this man belonged to one of the Houses of God he could have been convinced that it was because he loved children. He wondered why Gido didn't say anything.
GIDO
The old souls never bothered to call him by his name so Gido figured he shouldn't have to either, but their indignity when he pretended not to know their names easily crawled under his skin. They were dead they didn't need sleep, but they made him crave it. Gido didn't need to know which houses they might have belonged to, he could see it in their faces. And the blond-haired man who had to have been Fest in some century before his time was getting in his personal space.He would never be sure what it looked like but if it looked the way it felt then Gido assumed it had to be ugly when he turned his head and hissed at him with all the weariness of his… soul for a lack of a better term. It felt like his face was melting off his bones and unlike them, he knew that this was only a glimmer of the whole thing. He supposed he looked like a wars in its prime but if whatever his face was doing gave him three extra pairs of eyes he couldn't tell. The heat subsided but old-soul-Fest had flinched and Gido threw him an empty dirty grin, with teeth muddied from the black goo he couldn't really control whenever he let it take over.“You should get that checked,” old-soul Fest muttered and straightened himself.“You should know better than to annoy me,” Gido mumbled back rubbing his face. He always felt the need to make sure everything was back into place but it was hard to shake the concern that it would only ever hold for as long as he pressed his hand against his jaw. When it felt like someone had poured his veins full of hot iron.“And you should do as you're told,” chimed in the cheerful voice of old-soul-Ea.Gido merely shifted his eyes towards him, staring him down till he moved to old-soul-Fest's side. Straightening his shoulders Gido made himself as comfortable as it was possible in the grass. The old souls preferred to lock themselves up in one of the garden towers where nobody bothered them and nobody bothered to come. They had been here long before any of them and while all of them knew they existed few of them had ever seen them or spoken to them. They were their own little congregation and only ever called upon in matters that the recently deceased (because compared to them anyone was recently deceased) couldn't decide themselves. Which meant they were never called upon. And that was exactly how everyone, including the old souls, liked it.But unfortunately, they wouldn't leave him alone. And unfortunately, he was the most interesting thing they had seen in centuries.Idly Gido thumbed through the book on his lap. “It's way too early for them to have dealt with Ayanami,” they hated when he didn't refer to him as Verloren and Gido revelled in his petty little rebellion. “Even if they've started a trial, which I don't think they have, they cannot exactly officially charge him with being Verloren reincarnate, they'll have to enough to pin on him with the Raggs war alone… which will make it a hard case for Tiashe if he wants to re-establish Raggs in the same breath without giving up on his family…” Gido pulled a face when he said that. “You have no use of me here, I don't know why you insist on keeping me it's a waste of time… I told you if I notice something you're going to be the first to know.”Whether or not they truly believed that was hard to say, but they would be stupid to do so. Then again he wasn't so sure what he would do when he would find Ayanami. Perhaps Cassius or Gala would grow some marigolds for him as well.Malcontent the two old souls scrutinised him. Eventually, Fest waved his hand dismissively. “Fine, but we will be very cross if you don't, cur.”“If only,” Gido sighed as he got up, not in the mood for a fight he trudged off. “Out of all the things you could do you choose to wear me out… I'm not sure if that makes you incredibly stupid or incredibly clever.” His jaw was still throbbing from the heat he'd inflicted on it and though there was little use in shoving it around it made him feel better. As if trying to relocate the pain would do any good.The old souls were most talkative among themselves, but not when it came to others, yet they didn't seem to consider him worth their time of day when he wasn't being useful and Gido had use that to eavesdrop on them at any given opportunity. And from what he had gathered they were bitter and taking the job they had once had as Ghost way too seriously. Their company was a two-edged sword and Gido had yet to figure out what he would do if anything ever happened that forced them to act. Whatever plan they had surely wasn't to everyone's benefit.Frau was asleep. Frau had been asleep a lot since he'd come here. Like all newcomers, he still had some semblance of a day to day rhythm. It was something that got lost over time, no matter how hard they tried. Sleep was as necessary for the soul as food, but there was only so much they could eat and only so long they could sleep till they tired of either. Frau was lucky in that aspect he mused. And Gido himself was lucky that the old souls didn't like company and left him alone when he was around the others.So much time and so little to do. And Frau's soul still so very, very bright that he couldn't keep away from it. Not that he could see it, not anymore, but he remembered it well enough that if he stared long enough at his sleeping figure Gido thought he could see it glow again. A faint shimmer that pulsed beneath his skin like it had all those years ago. A familiar sight which soothed an old pain at the core of his soul.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
FRAU
It was like staring at a mirror in many ways and most of the reasons why were that they looked alike in many ways. Gido staggered, he looked tired, but that wasn't quite it, Frau thought as his weary mind tried to decipher the empty stare. “Bright,” he heard him mutter in a hoarse voice. He thought of how Teito's soul had mesmerised him on many hungry nights, but even with his mind still hazy from sleep that wasn't what Gido reminded Frau of.“Bright...”Like a body whose soul had been just devoured and it was now looking for more Gido shuffled closer, boots scuffing across the floor till he collapsed onto Frau, head buried in the curve of his shoulder. “Bright.” The word was no more than a hot breath on his skin. Hot like everything else on Gido. Even through his clothes, Frau could feel him burning up. He was almost sure his skin would come off in strings of black goo like it did when a wars showed its true form if he touched him, so it was with uncertain concern that Frau pushed him off his shoulder, from where Gido fell like a rock onto his bed. There seemed to be a brief moment of realisation of where he was and who was with him when Frau studied his face, but then it was gone.“Hey, Gido,” Frau nudged his shoulder. “Oi, old man c'mon stop acting weird.” But all he accomplished was pushing him onto his back where Gido lay staring feverish and dull-eyed at the ceiling. A queasy feeling of concern settled in his stomach. But he wasn't given a chance to focus on that or react.Someone materialised behind him, Frau could tell by the rustle of clothes and when he snapped his head in the direction of the intruder he recognised the familiar looks of Profe in their features. Yet there was something deeply unsettling about the way this one smiled. It was as if their figure hovered across the floor to where Gido lay, till the unnamed Profe was hovering above him and studied his face with a blank expression. “He'll be fine,” they said, monotone as if talking about an object or a pet, but when their eyes came to rest on Frau a mischievous little smile showed. “Interesting that he came to you,” Profe giggled to themselves.Hesitantly careful and with their sleeve covering his hand, as if touching someone sick they placed their palm on Gido's forehead. “It's a placebo, nothing more but it should work to calm the worst.” They smiled to themselves. “Gala will be here shortly,” they added and placed a finger on their lips, mouthing “not a word” as they disappeared intro practically thin air.Frau stared at the empty space on his bed, carefully examining the mattress but it was cold where Profe had sat, or hovered, he wasn't quite sure. What Frau was sure of that there should be traces of the person who'd just been here. Awkwardly he pressed the back of his hand against Gido's head, he already didn't feel like he was melting anymore and somehow that eased the worst of Frau's anxieties. Yet it raised the question what had caused this state of his.“What the fuck is happening...” Frau muttered into the silence, not sure if he should wait for Gala or try and find her. Perhaps all Gido needed was sleep, he had looked tired to the core of his soul.Was that what Gido had meant when he'd said they needed to wash out the mark of the Ghosts? If that was the case Frau wasn't looking forward to his fate considering he'd carried Verloren's scythe. Or was it genuinely possible for a soul to fall ill? Or had it been tainted? Which then raised the question of how and when. What the hell had Gido gotten himself into? With a frustrated groan, Frau drew his legs up and let his head and arms sink onto his knees. Up here he was useless. He didn't know anything about how this place worked or the people who lived in it and there was nothing he could do for the one person he actually gave a damn about.Gala as Frau remembered was the name of one of the many Profes this place harboured, and apparently, she hadn't expected him to be here. “I didn't realise,” she stammered and stopped, just for a moment and then proceeded to march into the room and seat herself on the edge of the bed. “This must seem awfully rude, just let me- for a moment, please,” Gala spoke in the same quiet voice as Labrador leaving Frau disarmed and having to let her do her thing. She also had the same soft eyes as him, but her hair was a bright, bright blondGala rummaged through the bag she had brought with her and pushed up her sleeves, not at all hesitant to examine her patient, but then oddly relieved. “I thought it would be worse...” Gala mumbled to herself and frowned for a moment as if not sure what to make of it that it wasn't. She pulled a small bowl from her bag and began mixing her powders and tinctures, while quietly humming to herself. “I may not be Profe anymore, but I do remember all their knowledge,” she quietly explained when she caught Frau staring.“I know,” Frau muttered quietly in response. He remembered what Gido had told him about the gardens listening to her. This wasn't a far stretch, but he hadn't thought he'd ever get to see that in action so soon. He remembered a lot of things. More than he wanted to on most days.Carefully Gala poured her mixture into an empty flask and requested his help to convince Gido to drink it. Which he did, although with little consciousness. “What's in there?” Frau asked, a little surprised when it seemed to take immediate effect.“A bit of this, a bit of that, something to make him sleep, there's little I can do, but most can be cured for the soul through sleep,” Gala replied and was packing her bag again.“So what's wrong with him?” Frau asked not quite sure what to do now that Gido was knocked out and Gala was all he had left to focus his attention on.With a hum on her lips, she paused, idly examining the small bottle in her hand as if she was thinking his words over. The little smile on her lips became thin. “I'm not exactly sure – it's hard to tell without Profe's powers, souls don't show symptoms as human bodies do, but whatever it is, it's stressful for his soul and that is something I can ease.”Her previous words made him wary of that statement, but perhaps she truly didn't know what caused it. Although Frau had a feeling she was at least able to hazard a guess. But before he was able to get a word out Gala smiled, disarmingly charming and told him, “you should eat something and join us, some strays found their way into the cathedral, for you that's probably not as exciting as of right now, but it's refreshing when you've been talking to the same faces for years or decades even.”Frau wanted to ask her what it had caused Gido's state if only to rule out that it wasn't what he should expect while Zehel's mark would be washed from his soul. He also wanted to tell her about that odd appearance of the other Profe, but it was like someone had slung a wire around his throat and was pulling it taut so he couldn't get out a word. “I'm not feeling particularly hungry.” He never had since he had died, although Gido had occasionally convinced him to eat.“The focus will be all on them, you wouldn't have to be the centre of attention,” Gala added with a little smile and rummaged through her bag again to retrieve a handful of candy. Much like the ones Labrador used to make.A little smile graced Frau's face whether he wanted to or not. “I'm not much of a sweet tooth,” he declined. “Unless you've got something spicy?”Frowning a little Gala searched her bag again. “I've got some made with herbs and mint if that's more to your taste?”Given that it was this or the empty dining hall, Frau accepted the candy and unwrapped it. It wasn't so bad he decided, although it wouldn't become his new favourite, but Gala seemed to be happy with his reaction.“I'll make something more to your taste next time,” she promised as she watched him. And he watched her place the remaining ones on the nightstand next to his bed. “They're for him,” Gala explained and pointed at Gido. “Worst sweet tooth I've ever met.”That too Frau remembered hazily and it made him smirk. Gido probably still inhaled anything and everything sweet and sugary that was left in his vicinity. “Who needs candy when you're the sweetest thing around?” Frau remarked instead, smiling at Gala. Gorgeous Gala. An empty flirtation, but he couldn't stop himself.For a moment she seemed perplexed, then she laughed, a soft yet brilliant sound. “I could be your mother,” she chided with a smile that was charmingly disarming. “Now come on, we should let him sleep.” And unfortunately, Frau had nothing to object so he allowed Gala to lead him away, while he ate the rest of her candy sticks.Her words held true and he wasn't the centre of attention and yet Frau found it was too much attention still so after a while he used their distraction to his advantage and extracted himself from the situation. If only for a moment to gather himself and clear his head and maybe check in with Gido. See if he was better and able to distract him. Because without distraction he could feel the hollow Teito had left in his chest. He could feel it gnawing at him. Frau barely noticed the footsteps that caught up to him.“Not feeling very social, are we?” A friendly voice remarked just as he was fishing in his pockets for the cigarettes that had to be there somewhere. The thought of where the hell he was going to get new ones once this pack was empty was cut short when he recognised the face of the woman walking next to him. He'd only seen her briefly and in passing when she spoke to Gido a couple times within the short while since he had been dragged from his hiding place because Gido insisted he should socialise or at least try to.Her name was Tamika that was about all that Frau knew about her. That and that she knew Gido because they had been Ghosts at the same time at some point in time. Her Vertrag and him Zehel. Frau remembered Kreuz's words, but he found the question lay awkward on his tongue so instead, he lit his cigarette. Trying to figure out how to ask it.Tamika chuckled. “You want to know how I know Gido,” she stated. “It's written all over your face.” And Frau just pulled a face at that. It was the only reaction he had for her words.“Well, how?” He asked when Tamika averted her eyes again, distracted or maybe in thought; but whether it was her steps that slowed or his he couldn't tell. She walked with the grace and stateliness of royalty, and part of him remembered that the house of Vertrag was the royal family of Raggs. And she did have the eyes but her hair was black as pitch and she dressed more like someone from a much lower station. The latter could most likely be chalked up to the fact that they all seemed to share the cathedrals charity wardrobe.“He was a little child when he became Zehel's vessel,” her head tilted with a bittersweet smile. “That's really all there is to it, before Taro – Landkarte – wiped out most of everyone at once the transitions were much less frequent and a lot more selective, so every once in a while one of us passed and we'd have a kid among us, and when there's nobody their age around the kids get attached…” Her face lit up a little as she added, “Gido seemed to trust me the most and he was such a cute little kid…” Tamika sighed regretfully. “I used to be able to pick him up, he was so much tinier….” (Frau couldn't imagine Gido anything but tall.)The way she said it made Frau think that it was rather the rule than the exception for the Ghosts to know each other because they had known. But there had been nobody around to explain anything to them when Castor, Labrador, Lance and him had been at the Church of Barsburg. Ea and Landkarte had been presumed lost and Vertrag had been gone. They had all been children with not a single adult around who could teach them anything they hadn't already known through the Ghosts.None of them had been eager to address their pasts and their deaths with the Raggs war just behind them. None of them had wanted to talk, so they had simply accepted the oddities of each other as a given. Too busy to built themselves anew from their wounds and with the new-found purpose as the Ghosts to bother with what had been they had let sleeping dogs lie.“What was he like?” The question came out quietly before Frau had even thought it over, but then it was suddenly there and he couldn't take it back. And Frau realised that he didn't want to because he was curious after all. He couldn't really imagine Gido as a kid, and if he did he could only see him as rowdy as he had been.Frau regretted the question even less when Tamika's face lit up and it warmed her brown eyes and made them kind. “For a child and Zehel on top of that? Awfully solemn, when he wasn't being a feisty little devil… you never really knew you were going to get,” she smirked. “I wish I could have stayed with him a little longer, but I was also glad when Kreuz took my place, he is a good man and it would have been a great loss for Tiashe in the long run if he had truly died that day.”“I can't imagine Gido solemn,” Frau had to admit and frowned up at the ceiling above them through the smoke of his cigarette. He really couldn't. Much less like a solemn child.“He was… I think he did it to be taken more seriously, that seemed to be important to him, despite Zehel's nature... he was very clever,” Tamika hummed quietly and fell into momentary thoughtful silence “He didn't know how to control Zehel's powers at all… so any use of zaiphon was a complete disaster, used to blow up right in his face.” The thought amused both of them, and Tamika added, “I'm not sure if he envies you your ability or admires it… if you ask me it's a little of both, swords are more his forte but you know that already, don't you?”Of course, Frau remembered that, and then he tried to remember the few occasions that he'd seen Gido use zaiphon. “But, if anything this place should make zaiphon use easier than ever, shouldn't it?” he asked. To him, it had always been as easy as breathing and he couldn't imagine it being anything else. Carefully he spun a couple words around his hand, just to test out if it worked, then dispelled it just as quickly. Feeling the warmth of it linger just a little longer than he was used to.Tamika had watched him with interest. “That's correct, but we figure that because exactly that is the case it responds so precisely to our need when used, our memories are still ingrained into these souls,” she explained. “So if you or I summon zaiphon it'll become a manifestation of what we were taught, like this,” with ease the letters began to circle her hands. “But when someone wasn't capable or trained to use it, it responds to what they were most familiar with in their lives and takes the form of a weapon.”“Odd,” Frau remarked. Wondering if that meant that he could summon an illusion of Verloren's scythe out of pure need if he concentrated enough. He didn't feel like trying. “Is that a common thing? I thought all Ghosts were zaiphon users.”“Surprisingly,” Tamika replied. “From what I've seen the only ones who are consistent in their type and use of zaiphon are reincarnations of Fest and Profe, with everyone else it's a matter of capability… the Ghosts carry their own powers after all...” She paused and smiled. “We're here.”It was only now that Frau realised she had brought him to the part of the cathedral which would have housed the kor palace in the Church of Barsburg and for a moment he hesitated but then he followed her past the heavy wooden gate and below the ground where to his surprise lingered a replica of the water barrier, minus the kors thankfully. Instead, the water was filled with plants and little creatures that he couldn't identify moved through it.“We've been working hard on this for years, without the powers of the Ghosts it wasn't so easy to get right and it took forever to find the right books to figure out how we could support the structure with zaiphon instead – we've only finished it recently, I thought you might like to see it.”“It's peaceful.” The area made Frau feel oddly tranquil compared to what he was used to when he'd always found the presence of the kors unnerving, and just a touch unsettling.“That's why I like it,” Tamika said and gently touched the barrier. The water rippled where she dragged her fingers across it. “It's easy to forget any place else in the world exists when you're down here… I guess that was the point of it, you get sick and tired of seeing the same place every day when it's all you have…” She closed her eyes and Frau watched her for a while before his eyes wandered back to the water above and around them and the little creatures that moved way too fast to be able to see them properly. “We think they're souls, like the strays but… we don't actually know,” Tamika explained when she noticed his stare. “The water seems to attract them, but they're harmless for all we can tell.”Frau simply nodded and because there wasn't much else to do he joined her where she had sat down in the grass. She wasn't so bad, he thought to himself as if he meant to soothe the upset child inside. In fact, he could see why Gido liked her.Teito would have liked this place, Frau thought. He would have to show it to him when he would get the chance.Frau couldn't help but to glower at him. It wasn't anger as much as frustration and the fact that Gido after three days of sleeping was as chipper as ever and didn't seem to consider that he had worried him at all. As little as Frau wanted to admit that to himself. But of course, he had worried him.“So what exactly was that?” It was like he was eight again and felt the need to remind Gido that he was, in fact, the adult and had to act like it.“What was what?” Gido replied so nonchalantly chipper Frau was sure he was evading his question on purpose. Frau glowered. That was all the answer he had for him at this moment. “My memory's a bit hazy...” That sounded less like a lie and it made Frau reconsider kicking him off the edge of the tower.“You keeled over and the only word you seemed capable of uttering was bright...” Frau leaned onto the railing of the edge of the tower next to where Gido sat. “It was fucking confusing to wake up to, ya know.”“Oh.” That was all the reply Frau got from Gido who looked off into the distance in the sky while running a hand through the hair on the back of his head. “I suppose so.”“Profe's expert diagnosis was stress.” It took him a moment to recall her name, but he figured Gido knew that he was talking about Gala anyway. At least he got a reaction Frau thought when Gido scrunched up his face. “And then she knocked you out for three days.”Gido snorted. “Her medicine should come with a warning,” he remarked and sighed. “It's just taxing that's all.”Perhaps he wanted him to guess what exactly was taxing but Frau wasn't going to let him get away with that. “Talk to me,” he grumbled and poked at Gido's shoulder. “I'm not going to let you pull the same shit on me as I did with Teito, I was a Zehel just like you, there's no need to lie to me.”“I'm not,” Gido huffed. Frau could see that he was irritated but as it seemed, mostly with himself. “I'm trying to figure out how to explain it to you.”“You've had a decade to figure all of this out, how hard can it be.” Frau scrutinised him with questioning eyes. What had happened to the Gido who had all the answers in the world?Silence answered him while Frau watched the church grounds so far below them. Heights and open skies had always made him feel closer to Gido and his crew. The Aegis had been his home for way too short and he had missed it for way too long.“It's because I picked up those damn strays,” Gido finally said quietly and buried his face in his hand. He rubbed his eyes. “I can do it without exhausting myself but it takes a lot longer and you never know when someone of sound mind shows up anyway… also I figured you'd like to not be the centre of attention for a couple days.” Those last words he muttered into his hand as he turned his head again.They made Frau smile a little, before the next question occurred to him. “Wait, how exactly did you find them?” Zehel was gone. Something which Frau had thought he'd need to get used to and yet it had been one of the easiest things to adjust to. The loss of the scythe was another matter but Frau had become so used to ignoring the burning in his arm that he could ignore the phantom pain it sometimes caused with almost too much ease.Gido answered by turning around and hopping off the edge of the tower. “That's a secret!” He declared cheerfully, forcing Frau to follow him if he wanted an answer or at least to keep the conversation going. But when Frau insisted on an answer he added, “it's like the reverse of finding a wars or a soul afflicted by a kor, sentient strays are like little beacons of light.”It didn't answer half the questions Frau had had and if anything it added twenty more to the already existing ones. But Frau had to realise that he had to content himself with that at least for today. Or considering their predicament of having to wait for their souls to be washed clean – half an eternity if he didn't get Gido to talk. They had half an eternity to spend, a thought that would have been damning if it weren't for Gido's presence. Even if there was Teito's absence. And he missed him and he did, but it was a different kind of missing from what he'd felt for Gido for the longest time.“Oh, you're just in time,” Tamika approached them with a bright smile on her face and grabbed their hands, as she saw them coming down the stairs. “We're playing a little game with our guests, you should join too, especially you killjoy.” Playfully she tugged at Gido's arm who looked caught first and then disgruntled.“Sounds fun,” Frau grinned and allowed her to drag them along while Gido looked almost miserable enough for Frau to take his side out of sympathy.Upon their arrival Tamika introduced the other participants. The three strays, two young women and a young man, and a small group of ghosts had gathered. Cassius, who looked like he could have been Labrador's older brother. Pollux, whom Frau assumed had to have been Zehel's vessel simply because of her height and that shit eating grin she gave him. Vasja, who looked no older than ten and perhaps he had never been but was all to excited about their participation, especially Gido's. He couldn't say which Ghost might have, however briefly inhabited him but Frau was sure he would find out sooner or later. The last one to be introduced was a man named Taro who shared Lance's smile much to Frau's dislike. He seemed to be rather nice otherwise though.“Why did she call you killjoy?”Frau asked amused, when he settled next to Gido on one of the benches.“Cause he never plays and when he does it's like trying to make a sphinx answer its own riddle,” Tamika replied before Gido could with a glowering smile on her pretty face. She pinched his cheeks and added. “You're going to behave today.”“Maybe if this doesn't turn out to be a trap like all the other times.” Gido rubbed the pain from his face and looked genuinely disgruntled. “Don't let them fool you, usually this drags on for months and there's no getting out of it.”Frau snorted amused. “You have all eternity shouldn't that be a good thing?”When Tamika asked if he was familiar with their game he nodded, and she smiled pleased. It was simple really, it revolved around the only two factors that mattered to their lives now. The wishes they might have had and possibly wanted in their next lives, and more importantly time. And they had an abundance of the latter.“We're going to simplify it a little for our guests,” Tamika then said and added a little quieter, “who don't have half an eternity on their hands so we're not going to drag this on as usual, but let's just have fun while they're here.”The idea was, as Frau understood, to come up with three wishes, preferably something a little personal or even what they figured had been one of the wishes of their previous life. But anything halfway sound would count. It was a guessing game, everyone got their turn and could ask as many questions as they liked till they got no for an answer. Frau figured it got easier with time, and with knowing the others better, which put him in the same boat as their temporary guests, who seemed to be delighted to be talking to someone conscious enough to hold a conversations for longer than three words.There were three things on Frau's mind, but one of them would completely dominate the conversation if he brought it up so he figured that one should wait. At least not for now, although it was the one thing that was burning itself into his brain the most. Which was the topic of Ayanami and Verloren and what Gido had told him about it. The others were his own supposedly very bright soul and the matter of the house of Verius. Frau decided to start with the lies. He'd always called Gido out on his lies, but as a child he had done so very loudly. In this moment however, there was no need to, he had all of Gido's attention, which always made it just a little too easy for Frau to let himself get carried away by the comfort of it.He rolled over, eyes closed because he didn't really want Gido to stop carding his fingers through his hair. Right now he would like to spend the rest of his part of eternity in his bed with Gido next to him. There was little else his soul wanted or needed. “How come you know so much about our House of God?”“I told you somebody taught me,” Gido replied nonchalantly, as if that answered anything, while Frau settled comfortably against his chest. The slow thud of his heartbeat was something that would possibly fascinate him for the ages. Gido had never had a heartbeat and now that he did Frau didn't want to imagine him without out. “I wanted to tell you everything once you were older… that was always the plan.”“Well tell me now, I'm all grown up,” Frau muttered, pressing his nose into Gido's skin. Content with the warmth of his it and just for now being close to him. It made it easier to ignore how concerning it was to hear these statements too. But Gido stayed awfully quiet, so instead, Frau decided to ask, “how come I didn't know you had sisters?”“Eden wasn't the place I left behind when I died.” It sounded so bitter that Frau couldn't help but to swallow and move his head a little so he could catch a glimpse of his face. Something warm and sympathetic settled in his chest when he saw the look on Gido's face. It had never seemed to him like Gido had had to give anything up for becoming Zehel's vessel, much like Kreuz. What a foolish thought when that was exactly what they were supposed to let the world think. Half the time anyway. “There are a lot of things I never got to tell you, just give the words a little time.”With a sigh but smiling, Frau reminded him, “you had ten years.”Gido chuckled and kissed him, and perhaps meant to distract him with that but Frau's eyes remained inquisitive. “I've had my whole life and more to figure out some of this and I doubt I'll ever find the words for it.”Frau had to think a little about that answer, not quite sure why it surprised him so much when it was exactly what he should have expected from a former Ghost. “All right,” Frau muttered. “But only because it's you.” And he buried his face in Gido's chest again so he could continue to listen to the beat of his heart. And in that moment he didn't want to ask Gido about the state of his soul anymore.
GIDO
The predicament of the case of Verloren and Ayanami was that while Tiashe had found a perfectly human solution to his problem if he truly wanted to absolve the Ghosts Verloren had to be dealt with once and for all. There was no way around that. Not to mention that wouldn't better his already fragile position on the throne of Raggs that he wanted to keep Ayanami alive against all odds. Someone's head had to roll for what had happened and who better to take the blame than the warsfeil who'd killed the former king.So that wasn't going to happen Gido figured. Which unfortunately meant that they likely had to accommodate his soul sooner or later. Presumably sooner. The thought settled uneasy for Gido. The moment Tiashe had chosen not to kill Ayanami it had been clear to him that there was no chance he would force him into Seele. At least not anytime soon. Which would only mean the cycle had to repeat itself again. But whether or not the next reincarnation would still have access to Verloren's memories they would have to see.Which brought on the problem and question of whether or not it was possible to distinguish between Ayanami and Verloren on a level of souls. A problem with which Gido supposed he could fill journals for all the sleepless nights he'd spent on it.His conclusion was that technically speaking it would be impossible to tell one from the other if there ever had been Ayanami if there ever had been Krowell in the first place. Melded together like Zehel and the scythe unable to separate one from the other but in the end just a single soul with a thousand names. At its core still Verloren. Always Verloren.So whatever would drag Verloren from the world of the living would ultimately mean the death of Ayanami.“Kagome, Kagome…” The humming of old-soul-Profe was grinding his gears, while his footsteps shuffled in the dark surrounding them. “Cur in the cage,” they sang chipper, clothes rustling.Gido ignored him and closed his eyes, trying not to think of a dead Ayanami, a dead Verloren. They wanted him here, he came and bid his time but that was all. “Y'know I'm not sure I can spot him on the off chance that Tiashe chooses to bring him to Seele after all,” Gido announced just to shut them up.Profe stopped their rounds and turned their head, like a guard made aware that they were guarding a living being and not just some dog. Indignantly they pulled their mouth to the sides. “Well, you'll have to.” And then they went back to his humming and singing and mocking him and Gido thought it wasn't fair. He was acting on instinct, he had less control over it than he'd ever had over Zehel's powers.He was going to be stuck here and these were the only people he would have for company if he didn't want to spend his time around kors.“He's not here anyway.” Words which were a relief as much as a curse.He'd promised. As fickle as the promise of a cast-out death god was, but he'd promised and that little promise was all he had to cling to. Biting his lip Gido tried to ignore the quiet singing. Verloren would remember. As much as he wanted to have Verloren present and finally alleviate him from his unwanted fate, he didn't want it if that meant the death of Ayanami, but that was a completely different matter. Sinking his head into his hands Gido tried to clear his head. He wanted to sleep.
FRAU
There was no use in putting it off, Frau had gleaned a better insight on Teito's situation since his last visit to the lake. This time around with Kreuz while Gido had stayed behind and even though Frau hadn't wanted to admit it the short separation had caused an almost ridiculous amount of anxiety which was currently being soothed by Gido who was running a hand through his hair. Frau hadn't exactly been sure what he would do upon returning, but apparently, the answer was to stagger into Gido's arms and sink against his shoulder the moment he saw him. Kreuz and the cathedral including its inhabitants around them forgotten for a few blissful moments.“C'mon brat,” Gido laughed quietly when he realised Frau wasn't going to move. He tugged Frau from his shoulder and kept an arm slung around him while he led him away.Frau didn't ask where and realised that it had to be Gido's room. While the thought of finding it had crossed his mind, Frau hadn't looked forward to opening the sheer endless amount of doors it would have taken. He just stared at the starry night sky painted around the walls of the bed nook. That was a charmingly Gido-like thing that he couldn't help the tug of his mouth.“I didn't want to worry you...” Gido scratched the back of his head, rearranging some of the trinkets on a table. Idly sorting the books he'd been keeping around onto a stack. “I usually don't seek people out after, well… picking off strays,”“What do you mean?” Frau asked, with his curiosity shifted from his surroundings back to Gido he sat on the edge of his bed. Scrutinising Gido where he stood at the table that seemed to be a mix of kitchen table and workspace all in one judging by the clutter on it.Gido replied by raising a brow, lighting himself a cigarette and searching for an ashtray. Frau found it on the nightstand and handed it over. “As witnessed… I'm not my most approachable self,” Gido explained when Frau's stare kept boring holes into him.The way he talked it about it gave Frau the odd little suspicion that picking off sentient strays either wasn't a common skill or shunned exactly for its consequences. “Then why keep doing it?” Gido looked away almost absent-minded and Frau had a feeling he wasn't going to get an answer to that today. Staring at his boots he asked quietly, “do you really think my soul's that bright?” Perhaps he would get an answer to that question then.With a groan Gido tipped his head back, cigarette firmly held between his lips. “Yeah you numb nut, I was Zehel and I had front row tickets!” But when he saw the expression on Frau's face his tone changed and softened. “Bright like the north star, brighter than anything I've seen.” He'd walked over and placed his hands around his face. “And for all I can see it still is, that damned scythe didn't leave a scratch on it.”A little weary smile tugged at Frau's lips when he tugged at Gido's shirt to press a kiss to his lips. He stole the cigarette from his mouth almost in the same motion. With a sigh he sucked in a breath of smoke, releasing it slowly. Grinning when Gido tried to retrieve it from his thieving hands. “How much do you really now about the house of Verius?” He murmured quietly against his lips when he kissed him again. As if that would convince him.He allowed Gido his cigarette again once he'd settled on the bed next to him in what seemed to be bitter silence. As if Frau had asked a question as inevitable as the event of his own death. Silently Gido smoked his cigarette empty and squashed it in the ashtray, while Frau wasn't sure what he himself was waiting for. It felt like they were waiting for the weight of eternity to stop crushing their lungs.“Too much,” was what Gido finally said, pulling a face. Idly moving the cigarette stub around the ashtray in his hand. “I knew you were going to ask this question eventually, I'd just like some to think about how I'm going to answer it… I'm not a fan of talking about this subject, but you deserve an answer.” Better from me, if you have to know at all, his expression seemed to say when Frau studied it.He remembered he'd wanted to ask about Verloren, but now that had to wait and some part of him was glad for that. The subject sat uneasy in his stomach.The answer to his question came to in form of a grainy photograph from a newspaper article. It was the beginning of dusk and Frau has been entertaining himself by sparring with Pollux who could pride herself on being perhaps one of the five people in the world that he actually considered a challenge. Gala and Cassius had patched them up, chiding with their friendly voices to keep them and the cathedral intact like they were only rowdy children. But now it was getting late and everyone had left for one reason or another and Frau had been spending the better part of the last hour playing with the flowers in the teapot Cassius had left behind. The tea was cold of course, but even if it hadn't been it hadn't stopped from pushing the flowers down to the base of the pot and watching them slowly raise again before repeating the process. It was sincerely the best use of his time he'd found in the absence of everyone.“The trick to the library is that it responds to need,” Gido smiled faintly when he let the picture flutter onto the table between them. “If you have no idea what you're looking for it'll give you nothing but a random assortment of books about anything and everything, you'll have to know what it is you want.”Frau stared up at him, not quite sure what to make of that statement or when it would come in handy, then he stared at the little boy the picture that Gido had brought showed. He ought to be around ten, Frau guessed, maybe a little older maybe a little younger. It was a cut-out of a larger picture, a family picture he presumed, but when he picked it up the rest of it was missing. Someone had attempted to tame his dark unruly hair and dressed him formally, in the background Frau could make out the fabric of other people's clothes but was hard to tell what type of clothing for everything was black and white and a little grainy.The little boy smiled at him, but it was the plastic smile of someone who had been forced to standing for a picture he couldn't care less about being taken. He was holding someone's hand. Frau wondered who it belonged to. “Adorable,” Frau remarked with a smirk. “Where's the rest of that?”For a lack of explanation, he could only assume that the little boy was supposed to be Gido who pulled another photograph from beneath his coat and tossed it onto the table between them with an almost unusually sober expression.It was the complete picture Frau realised, glancing at Gido as if to ask for permission before he picked it up. He caught the word missing below the grainy newspaper photo and something clicked inside his head although it hadn't found solid footing yet.A girl around the same age as him, perhaps a year or two older but no more Frau judged, was the one holding his hand and smiling kindly at the camera. Behind them three more young women, with the two younger ones being in their mid to late teens and the oldest in her mid-twenties from the looks of it. The two elder sisters each had their hands on the shoulders of their younger siblings, just like the eldest had placed her hands on their shoulders. They all smiled but was a formal picture, meant to hang in the halls of a great manor to show off to the visitors. Next to the eldest child was a man who Frau could only presume was the father of the children and who looked an awful touch familiar. He frowned, thinking he'd just seen him somewhere and then it dawned on him.“Holy shit, you're kidding.” Wide-eyed Frau stared at the family picture. Under different circumstances, he would have found it funny how they seemed to share the same crux as the Oak family. Seen one seen all. Five children. All with varying degrees of dark hair and eyes of blue and grey – only Gido's were much too dark by comparison. Four girls and a little boy. “How old were you when that was taken?” Frau asked because he had to say something, anything to gain a grasp on the situation. And that one occurred to him as one of the more tangible subjects.“Around ten? I guess, maybe nine, I don't remember it's been a long while,” Gido answered quietly. He'd sat down at the little table with a sombre look on his face. Earnest. Frau remembered Tamika's words. “It was taken a year or two before I left… I think… it's been a long time.”Frau nodded as if that made sense because it didn't with the picture he'd had of Gido and he had to grasp at something before his brain would give up working. “Your father's the one managing our House of God,” he said it as matter-of-factly as he could as if that made it any more reasonable. Gido was a sky pirate. That was all he'd ever been to Frau and quite frankly he couldn't imagine him as anything else even with visual proof. Now that answered a lot of questions he'd had and a lot more would have never considered asking.“You're kidding right?” Frau had no words for him. Of course, Gido wasn't kidding. In the back of his mind, there was the thought that the family of the man he'd looked up to had been within his grasp and he hadn't even known it. That he and Teito had been so close… A confusing mix of emotions rose in his chest at that thought. It had been right under his nose. And he was still somehow waiting for Gido to call bullshit on everything he'd just revealed and Frau couldn't say why. “So you died and became a pirate, is that what happened?”Gido snorted amused. “Sort of, the long and the short of it is that my father's an asshole, I ran away, unfortunately died and because I didn't want the pirates to ship me off back home for a good profit I kept my mouth shut, pretty sure the only reason they kept me was because I could translate Raggs for them...” Gido shrugged, sinking back in his chair with a sigh. Frau wanted to say something, but for all the words on his tongue, he couldn't form a single one of them. He wanted to know the rest of the story but wasn't sure if Gido had planned to tell him that. “I've always meant to tell you at some point, I just figured I'd be given more time before you'd be asking questions…”Gido smiled wearily although Frau didn't know what for. “You wanted answers, this is one of them… my father was a very old-fashioned man, above all he wanted a son and when he had me I wasn't good enough and blamed for my mother's death...” Gido picked up the family portrait and studied with unexpected fondness. “My sisters were all shipped off to different kinds of schools till I was the only one left, so I said fuck this and ran off to my dear aunt… well, not really my aunt, that's just what we were supposed to call her, you know how it is with the nobles, you've more relative than you know what to do with.”Frau sat there for a while just letting the words sink in, wondering what made it so easy for him to talk about everything. “She must've been a nice woman,” Frau couldn't help but smile at the thought that Gido had had somewhere to run to at least. It made him feel oddly glad in light of what he'd just been told.“A saint,” Gido chuckled. “She had a son our age and still took care of me and my sister whenever she was around… it wasn't all bad, but the decision-making skills of little children are flawed… she actually wanted me to go back, but I complained till I convinced her to let me stay with her for a while.”“To think that you could have been one of those stuck-up aristocrats…” Frau mumbled, mostly to himself. It still seemed ridiculous. And yet it explained a few oddities he remembered from being part of his crew. In hindsight that explained a lot more than he wanted it to about Gido's behaviour sometimes. There were two questions on his mind still. “You look like twins in that one,” he pointed out and pointed at the two youngest children in the picture Gido was holding.The smile on Gido's face strained, just a little. “They're all older than me, although Ginny only by a margin, we were born within the same year.” His first thought was of their mother who surely hadn't appreciated carrying two children to term without so much as a break, but ultimately Frau couldn't help but to grin a little about the thought of Gido being doted on by his four older sisters. “Wasn't that overbearing?” He asked, wondering what it would have been like to grow up with that many older siblings when he hadn't even had one.“Very much like the dressing rooms at Magdalena's place,” Gido grinned. “Clothes and makeup everywhere, you've probably been breathing perfume for the past few hours but that's okay because everything smells nice and while you're still small and cute everyone always wants you to sit on their lap.” As much as Gido smiled the expression on his face said he had been disillusioned by the experience, yet his words had brought back memories Frau had thought long forgotten and buried. And then a sting of pain for the memory of how Magdalena had died.“Again – How did you know?” The question had been on Frau's mind ever since he'd become Zehel. He'd asked it before but Gido's answer had been inconclusive. “That wasn't just a lucky guess, was it? Or did you hope that carrying Verloren's scythe would have been enough to make Zehel stick?” Which would have been fair enough in Frau's book. There surely had to be some loopholes for the death gods to carry on their duty.“Your mother was my foster aunt although I am really not sure what relationship she had with the family, I doubt she was married into it… given the way that my father talked about his sister, I sincerely doubt he would have let me anywhere near her if it was her, so I don't exactly know… I was just a kid and with a family as big as ours there are a lot of aunts and uncles and cousins who aren't really… any of that… and they're never honest with you when you're that young either.”For all the Frau could tell Gido seemed to enjoy pulling the rug out from under his feet and he would have yelled at him if it wasn't for the sting of jealousy that Gido had gotten to meet his mother and he barely remembered her face. Only the photographs his father had shown him.“You have the eyes,” Gido smiled sympathetically. “If I had been forced to guess, I would've put my money on that – the Ghosts bloodlines may be scattered but we're lucky we all sort of look like each other… and you have the eyes of a Verius, so if I'd been forced to guess...” Pausing a moment Gido turned the photograph in his hands. “And your mother's brashness… if she hadn't been so sick she would have turned Eden upside down, one-handed with you on her arm...”His mother. To say that he hadn't thought about his mother since he'd been a child would be a lie, but it had been a long time since the thought of her hadn't just lingered on the edge of his mind before Frau had pushed it away again. Capella had brought back a hazy memory or two and Frau had appreciated, but for the most part, he'd just raised a number of questions to which he had thought there wouldn't ever be an answer because there had been nobody left to ask.Magdalena had been like a mother to him, other times more like an older sister, but always caring. It had been of her and Gido and Bastien that he had thought when Capella had joined their little party. His father hadn't lived very long, but he'd left a more lasting impression than his mother. Frau pushed the flower in the tea kettle to the bottom of it. “Tell me more about my mother… and then about your sisters...”Frau had a feeling that there was more to it but for now, it was all he wanted to hear, they could get back around to the point of this whole thing later again. They had all the time in the world after all.
GIDO
There was a clock ticking, ticking, ticking and its name was Verloren. The dread of it all slowly creeping into the marrow of his soul. Restored or self-destructed or brought to justice by the law. Whatever it would be it wouldn't be at the will of Tiashe.The old souls had more or less kept their word, they weren't hounding him every night but Gido was sure that they watched and sometimes it was like he could feel Fest's zaiphon tugging at the back of his spine. Just enough to remind him that they hadn't forgotten him, but they weren't bothering him as much in Frau's presence. They didn't like to be seen. Caught. Perhaps he should use that word instead. They didn't like to be caught.Eventually, they would have to get their way. And then what? They wouldn't be able to do anything with his soul. As old as they were, they were only former Ghosts in this place just like the rest of them. In another lifetime Gido would have found it laughable that he allowed them to order him around, but time had made him weary and fighting them off hadn't proved to be worth the hassle. Not when they could play this tug-o'-war for all eternity.Gido hadn't been so sure what he had been waiting for, only that the nights were driving him up the wall. He would have preferred for Frau to be the one to do that instead of the impending sense of doom that had been brewing over his head.Until it was gone.Like a pain suddenly gone. At first, he hadn't noticed it, but then a stray thought had reminded him of it. And there it was, the realisation that it was gone. No more tick, tick, ticking.Funny how the absence of absolute dread could be worse than the feeling itself, Gido thought. He'd woken in an almost tranquil state of mind, compelled to bury his nose in Frau's warm back and fall back asleep before the realisation had sunken in. He'd never had to miss his heartbeat. The thought briefly crossed his mind as he reached out in the dark to lay his palm over his chest. Sound asleep.Good, Gido thought to himself. Frau would get all the answers he wanted possibly way sooner than both of them wanted and then he would possibly yell some more and then… Instead of finishing that thought Gido sighed and crawled out of bed to get dressed. Barefoot, to quiet his footsteps, he left the room. If there was anything to make up for him slinking out like that it was the fact that Frau wasn't at fault here if anything Gido would have preferred to stay with him.The floor was never cold in this place, even at night, it was always kind of warm. There were others who couldn't stay in their beds too, perhaps some guessed what he was up to. Some of the older ones who'd seen too much and knew too much. Gido told himself that he didn't care much for what anyone would be thinking right now because he was going to do something incredibly stupid. Something stupid enough to be worth getting yelled at by Frau, but time had only made him more selfish.Easily Gido found his way out of the cathedral into the masses of strays who weren't paying him any mind. Any other night he would have to search but this time he knew what he was looking for. He knew that drumming by heart and he followed it with his own thumping so loudly in his chest that Gido was convinced it would jump out of it at any given moment. The familiarity was almost enough to choke on it when he focused in on it but just this once Gido didn't stop to gather himself and not scare whatever poor soul he'd been hounding through the gardens. Some of them noticed him, but none had ever come to think that what had scared them and the odd man coming to collect the confused souls were one and the same.Lucky him. Lucky them.But of course, Ayanami knew that. Verloren knew that. A sound that was more a hiss than words left his lips when he tried to speak, although Gido would have preferred to lie down and die for a few moments, for he felt like his body was melting into some non-descriptive shape. And perhaps it was, for Ayanami looked at him with what appeared to be dangerously close to pity. When beckoned closer Gido stepped forward and sighed with relief at the cool sensation that flooded his body when Ayanami pressed his fingers to his forehead in a gentle touch. (He noticed the hesitation but couldn't say anything about it.) Surprised and suddenly exhausted Gido shook himself. And perhaps Ayanami's fingers lingered a little longer than they should have, but perhaps that was only his imagination.“You don't have it under control.” It was a mere observation, but Ayanami – Verloren, oh to hell with that – sounded curious when he said it.“What's there to control,” Gido sighed, slinking back a step even though Ayanami hadn't moved from where he stood and retrieved his hand. He was examining his fingertips like he'd just touched something for the very first time, that or an interesting specimen, and Gido didn't know how to feel about that. In a far off corner of his mind it occurred to him that touch perhaps was a novelty for the God of Death in this form, but he wasn't capable of processing that any further so he merely frowned at him. “Just get rid of it.”Verloren sighed and Gido wasn't sure why but it felt like the place they were in as well as his own being sighed with him. Perhaps that was something he should get used to now, but his mind was still a little hazy and all things considered, he felt miserable more than anything else. “You're lucky I was able to restore my mind before...” Ayanami gestured at his figure. He only stared at the familiar army uniform with a small touch of disdain, then around them at the stray souls. “I would prefer to continue this somewhere less… crowded.” Just as he spoke he had to step out of the way not to touch a passing soul.“If I bring you there, they're going to hand you over to the Chief of Heaven,” and only the Chief of Heaven would know how that would happen, but that would happen. It was the reasonable thing to do and most of the others were reasonable.An empty smile grazed Ayanami's face. “I should hope so, there is so much he and I have to settle.” He said with a little frown of pity on his face but his stare went past him as if he was looking at the inner workings of his soul instead of the outer layer. A familiar gaze, just as familiar as this moment of standing in front of each other.“Good to know you haven't forgotten,” Gido admitted quietly. “I was getting worried you were getting too caught up in becoming complete again...” Evidently that hadn't worked out, else they wouldn't be here now, but that didn't mean Ayanami couldn't keep his promise. He had Verloren's memories. Perhaps that was enough.There was a question he still needed to ask. A silly one considering what he was going to ask and who he was going to ask, but it needed asking and answering nonetheless. “Who are you right now? Verloren or Ayanami?”“Verloren if it needs answering so badly,” Ayanami replied and glared at the souls that forced him to step out of the way.Gido couldn't help but smile as he watched and waved Ayanami to follow him. “I don't think your touch is going to be their end Mr Soldier Henchman.”“I'd rather not risk that,” he heard him mutter before Ayanami paused as if he hadn't been aware of how Gido had just addressed him. “Just as awful as I remember you, good for nothing pirate.”Gido grinned. “Is that nostalgia making you slow Mr Army Minion.”“Watch your mouth” Ayanami growled, but there was no sword for him to grab so he merely tried to kick him. Gido escaped his attack but only barely. The smile still lingered on his face, fond like always because it all he ever could be most of the time when it came to Ayanami.“No shred of humanity left is there?” Gido inquired quietly as they walked. Intending the question to be most matter-of-factly. Sure that it wasn't. That had always been Ayanami's forte.“None at all.”“Good, then that's going to make things easier.”“I know,” Ayanami replied quietly and followed light-footed as if he were hovering above the ground so that Gido had to match his steps if he didn't want to lose him.It was almost dawn when they reached the gates and perhaps Gido had dragged the walk on a little longer than necessary. Neither of them had spoken much and a part of him had hoped that Ayanami would perhaps just get it over with while they were on their back and then the story he had told Frau would remain just the way it was.When the gates came into view Ayanami halted for a moment and said, “will I have a chance to talk to you once we're inside there?” He made it sound almost as if it was the other way around and Gido wasn't the one who wanted answers.“Possibly.” Gido shrugged. “I wouldn't count on it, but I don't see why anyone would object a conversation.” He paused then added, “it's not like it's your first time here.” Just the first time with all his memories back.Ayanami's answer was a wry smile laced with pity that once again lay bare the inner workings of his soul. It was the pity of a death god, the pity of someone who found one of their creations broken and wanted to fix it but not entirely sure how. “Then come find me when you can.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
GIDO
Gido wasn't so sure what he had expected when they entered the cathedral. Perhaps for lighting to strike both of them or Ayanami to turn to ash or the church bells to chime and announce that something of great significance was happening. But perhaps in the greater scheme of things it was nothing, just another round in heaven for the soul of Verloren. Gido thought it was a moment that should carry more weight.Restless souls who hadn't been able to sleep raised their heads when they recognised Ayanami, while Gido could only imagine the fury of the old souls when they realised that he had ignored their wishes. But that was a bridge to be burned when he crossed it.It was Asyl who approached them first. Asyl who looked a lot like one of his sisters with her dark hair and piercing blue eyes. She wore her frown with concern as much as curious inquiry while Gido noticed Vasja's little figure and Tamika approaching from the slowly retreating shadows.“He didn't want to stay outside,” Gido explained, feeling like he was being interrogated.Asyl nodded slowly, sizing Ayanami up and down and folding her arms.“He can't stay here, not this time, the Chief of Heaven would be cross with us,” Vasja said, sounding much older than he looked. He examined Ayanami with the same scrutiny as Asyl. Only Tamika had her eyes on him, Gido noticed and avoided her gaze. “Besides, Kreuz might do something reckless…” Vasja glanced up at Gido then looked back at Ayanami. “He's going to behave, isn't he?” That was a question just as much for him as it was for Ayanami, Gido realised.“I have a bargain to uphold, I have no interest in any other matter.”“Once the Chief of Heaven knows you're here the matter is out of our hands,” Tamika said carefully and Gido wasn't sure whom she was talking to but it felt more like she was addressing him than Ayanami.“I am aware of that,” Ayanami-Verloren replied with a smile that didn't reach his eyes when Gido appeared to be tongue-tied.He had devoured Vertrag so perhaps it was fitting that they should find themselves in his tower, but perhaps Ayanami wasn't even aware of the irony of that situation, although that was unlikely. It was one of the many empty spaces of the cathedral.“You seem hesitant,” Gido pointed out with a playful smile. He was restless but Ayanami didn't seem bothered by wandering through the empty halls with him. When that didn't get him an answer Gido changed his tone. “I've waited half my life and a decade more for this, rid me of this damned mark already!”Unimpressed with his anger Ayanami's steps slowed and stopped, waited for Gido to do the same. “I won't and I can't.” He said at last and when he sighed, Gido again felt like the whole area was sighing with him. Even his own being. “Is there anywhere we can sit?” He asked, then clarified, “you look like you might need to sit down.”“I don't need to sit down, I need you to give me answers,” Gido growled. He could feel his jaw heating up like it would melt any moment into black goop, but if Ayanami was perturbed by that in any way he didn't show it.“You're a half of a whole and half of what is keeping you the way you are is Zehel's mark,” Ayanami replied matter-of-factly when it was clear that Gido had no intention of yielding to his wish of sitting down.The words took a moment to sink through Gido's conscience and become something tangible in his mind, only then did they slow his steps to a stop. “What do you mean?” He asked confused. “I thought this was a matter of getting rid of a kor's mark.” But Ayanami only shook his head and gestured for him to follow.With a sense of practicability, Ayanami led the way while he spoke. “Each soul, each being, everything that exists, exists in two parts of itself, think of it as it's core or purpose of heart,” that one last little word made his voice sound oddly soft but Gido tried to pay it no mind, while he noticed that Ayanami every so often stopped at the windows they passed and studied the world outside with a sense of… almost wonder and fascination. In another lifetime he would have found that charming.“So is that what I am?” The question wouldn't come easy but Gido managed to chase it from his mouth as he leaned over his shoulder to watch as well as the cathedral came to life all around them. Down below in the inner yard he could see Tamika and Asyl watching the tower before they were distracted and only Vasja's stare remained transfixed. Perhaps he saw them at the window.Ayanami-Verloren only hummed quietly, seemingly content for a moment before he continued his steps. Slow and leisurely as if there wasn't the sword of Damocles hanging above his head. “Usually this part doesn't get separated from its other half, it's not supposed to be, but I suppose it is the most practical solution to the wish your father had,” an irritated little frown crossed his face as he spoke. “The trouble is not taking the binding mark off your soul, although that would require me to have my scythe and it would be a little difficult to get it back… not impossible just difficult.” Ayanami sighed and wrung his hands with resignation. “What do you think the kor took from?”“What do you mean?”“I mean… that, and I think you of all people understand that, kors don't materialise wishes out of thin air, they create opportunity, that's all they do, wish for money and there will be a handsomely paid job coming your way, wish for love and someone who matches your ideals will cross your path, so what do you think it took from?” Ayanami glanced over his shoulder as he spoke as if to make sure he was still following him and listening. “It cannot steal from heaven but it is asked for a child, for a son, for an heir, those are very specific conditions, I would even call it a clever wish if it weren't for the price it pays.”Silence stretched out between them and Gido was beginning to shake his head. As if that made Ayanami's words less true. “No.” It was a croak, a whisper, a hoarse sound of frustration. He hadn't spent his life looking for an answer only to come up with that. That wasn't the kind of answer he wanted. “No, tell me there's a way to get rid of this.”“It takes from its own kind,” Ayanami continued calmly. Pausing for a moment to study him and the disbelief that must've been clearly showing on his face. “It's all they're capable of, if a kor as a whole takes over a human body in any kind of way it just becomes a soulless heap of misery, it would have made you no more sentient than the poor fools in the rehabilitation centres at the churches, but to take only what makes them function and bind that to a body… they're just tainted souls after all…” He chuckled and folded his arms. “You've got to admit that's awfully clever from a being that is majorly driven by its desire to eat.”The thought didn't amuse Gido, and Ayanami-Verloren seemed to realise that because he studied him more earnestly this time. “Taking the mark off your soul would change little about what you are, at this rate it might even only sever you from the kor that put it there in the first place.”“But I don't want to stay in this place!” Gido seethed. He had the feeling of his breath being heated by coals in his lungs. His ribcage was cracking open like molten lava and he could scarcely think. It was only for the fact that Ayanami was still less than impressed with the uncontrolled display of what lingered beneath his skin. He couldn't imagine that it looked pretty, he'd seen enough wars in his lifetime, had watched the scythe eat enough time and Gido didn't expect to be looking any better, and yet Ayanami looked at him like there was no difference between him and the other souls.“You should really learn to control that, it looks like you're melting,” he could hear him say when he came to and found himself kneeling on the ground with Ayanami's palm lightly pressed against his forehead. “If I didn't know any better I'd say its the hunger, but that's probably Zehel's mark at work,” Ayanami growled quietly.“What d'you mean?” Gido muttered. He could feel a shiver walk across his skin as Ayanami's hand pressed harder against his skin and he could hear him mutter something that sounded like “that should seal it for a while”, but he didn't feel like asking more questions that would only bring fewer answers than before.“I mean,” Ayanami said quietly as he eased him down onto the floor. Gido kept his unfocused stare on Ayanami's crouching figure as if looking away meant he would de-materialise. “That your… soul, for you do have one, is holding together better than I would have ever presumed, I would have figured you'd turned into a wars the moment you were separated from your body or just…” Ayanami sighed with quiet frustration. “I'm not sure and it irks me that my absence has created souls like you, I wouldn't have allowed it to happen… look at you, you're so human and attached to life itself you think it cruel that you can't follow the other souls when it should be against your nature…” Verloren-Ayanami sighed deeply. This time the space around them only moved a little. “Without my soul and body fully restored there is nothing I can do.”Gentle, familiar slender fingers cupped his face, evoking a feeling Gido had buried very carefully and very deeply, and the sheer audacity of Ayanami being able to lift it from the rubble he'd hidden it under made him want to curse him. Yet his voice didn't obey. “Don't,” Gido breathed, not daring to open his eyes when Ayanami's thumbs rubbed over his cheeks. It was a feeble protest that wasn't listened to by either his heart or Verloren.Warm hands. Human hands. Familiar hands. A quiet and shaky breath left his lips. “Lousy pirate,” he heard him say and wanted to laugh, but Gido pressed his mouth together till he felt the urge subside. “Foolish pirate…” Gido couldn't help the laugh this time. He wasn't going to argue with that one and he dared to open his eyes again, but wasn't quite sure what to make of the expression on Ayanami's face. He looked like he was considering to head-butt him. “You're not stuck, you belong here, this is your home as much as it once was mine.”“But I want to live again!” Gido wanted to yell back, yet he only let his shoulders sink.“I would have to recycle your soul and you would cease to exist as you are, and you wouldn't want that, would you? It seems cruel to you.” The only reply that got him was a quiet snort. “I know human emotions better than you might think, Gido, I've known them even before I was cast out.” Ayanami paused. “Tell them I will stay in this tower, I have no intention of harming anyone, but I do have a bone to pick with my creator,” there was a smile on Ayanami-Verloren's lips and it was unexpectedly mischievous, “this time around I've got something to bargain with.” He was carding his fingers through Gido's hair who had closed his eyes again and merely accepted his fate for now. Of all the vices he had, this one most definitely was the most costly.“Is this fascination because your real form can't touch anything living or are kors like pets to you no matter which form they come in?” Gido felt much like the cat on the lap of some evil mastermind and while he wasn't complaining he sure was curious.Ayanami paused and thought for a moment then immediately retrieved his hands and placed them on his knees. “You ruined it,” he muttered into the quiet that followed. “There's a soul I'd like you to find for me.”“Hm? Which one is it?” It was always the same with him. Ayanami spoke as if he were able to read his thoughts, but perhaps just this one time perhaps he thought so correctly Gido realised. “Oh… sure,” he replied with a smile. “Shouldn't be too hard to find the soul of a warsfeil, but he won't be happy that it's me and not you.”“He'll manage.”Gido hummed in agreement. He'd be happy to pick up Hyuuga, although he couldn't guarantee to find him in his most conscious state. But most likely Ayanami already had a plan for that.
FRAU
Frau would have liked to proclaim he was long since settled and getting used to this place and in many ways he was but Verloren's presence felt much like a personal offence to his very existence in this place. Like it was meant to make him feel everything but settled in the afterlife. It begged the question how Teito had survived opening Pandora's Box if he had opened it all and Ayanami hadn't been sent here against his express wish. He'd been forced to content himself with Kreuz's statement that he was alright. And judging by the fact that nobody was making Kreuz go back into hibernation he figured it was a good kind of alright. Not the one that he would be told just so he would stay calm, and that, at least a little, calmed Frau in earnest.Teito was alright. Or he would be alright and once they had figured this situation out he'd find somebody to lead him to the lake so he could check in on him. Preferably Gido. Or maybe Kreuz. Or one of the former Profes. If there was anything Frau had learned he could trust it was the gentle nature of their souls.Still, the way Kreuz furrowed his brows when he thought he wasn't looking, seemingly just one word or thought away from jumping into action, jumping to… Frau wasn't sure what he would do just that it would fall into the category of stupid, borderline justified. He fixed his eyes on the tower again, wondering how Vertrag's vessels felt about that now. Perhaps that was what had upset Fea so much and in the end, it didn't have anything to do with Teito at all.For now, Verloren had his attention, perhaps only because that the one thing he could actually have influence now in the afterlife.“What's he doing in there?”Asyl who looked a frightening amount like she could have been one of Gido's sisters shrugged. “Gido says he's waiting for the Chief of Heaven, not quite sure what is supposed to amount to, you wait until your summoned or you go to Him yourself – never the other way around.”“What does...” Frau ended his question in a sigh, why did he even bother to ask. Of course, Gido knew something. Gido knew something about everything so of course, he would know what Verloren was up to. To some degree at least. “What the fuck do we do with him?” Frau then asked instead, trying to be practical. He'd get around to yelling at Gido sooner or later, and Frau had a feeling there would be a lot to yell about once they got to the nitty-gritty of this matter.“Effectively nothing, it's not the first time we've had to babysit his soul, but it's the time he's here completely conscious of his memories and we don't know how and if that affects his soul, for all we know he might be as deadly as ever, and I for one won't be the one to test that.” Asyl folded her arms, appearing more thoughtful than concerned with the matter of Verloren being in their midst. More concerned with Kreuz than anything it seemed for her gaze was fixed on him instead of Frau. “I won't stop if you want to see him… just, be careful, we don't know what he's capable of, he belongs more into this world than we do, and I wouldn't like having to explain to Gido that you did something stupid again, saving your soul the first time was enough trouble...” She tilted her head thoughtfully as she spoke but still didn't look at him. As if she wasn't talking about a crucial turning point in his life. Frau wondered if one day he would be like this too. If that was what time and knowing too much did to the soul or if that was simply a matter of character.At least she didn't see the bitter expression on his face before he turned away to find Gido who better had some answers for him.There was only one problem, and that was that he didn't know where Gido was and nobody seemed to have seen him.Just how the fuck was he supposed to find one single soul in this God forsaken place. There was more space then any of them would ever need and Gido could be anywhere. He most certainly wasn't in any of the obvious places much to Frau's discontentment.Frustrated he stepped back outside, grumbling for a while as he gathered his thoughts. How to find a soul in a place as big as this when you didn't want to search every nook and cranny, Frau thought to himself and closed his eyes. If only there still were the scythe and Zehel to guide him, but perhaps he could try to do it without them. The souls hadn't lost their signature scent, and perhaps he could figure out Gido's, he only had to figure out how to find the new trail.A little more confident than he felt Frau started his search again. Home. If there was one thing he associated with Gido's soul it was the feeling of being home. If that didn't trigger the fine tunings of his inner compass, he would be truly at a loss, Frau thought and marched on not quite sure whether it was a stupid idea or not to trust his gut in this situation.His way led him to one of the gardens encased in the towers, but he knew that he'd found him long before he saw him because apparently Gido too had found somebody to yell at. And Frau couldn't help but to stop for a moment and listen, but half of what he could make out made little sense out of context so he gave up on eavesdropping and approached the greenhouse. (An unnecessary greenhouse considering seasons never changed in this place, but perhaps they had simply liked the glass dome when they had built it. And there was comfort in knowing there was a roof above one's head.)“All right everybody shut up, you've had your turn at yelling at him, now it's mine!” Frau announced as he kicked the door open which immediately and loudly announced his presence. Unfortunately, that was as far as he'd thought his plan through so he didn't exactly know what to do now.The Profe lookalike who he had almost thought a hallucination at this point was there and someone who might have been Fest in a previous life and was given away by the strings of zaiphon which curled around his fingers and that he used to casually restrain Gido's arms. It was all he held onto with those strings, but they were pulled taut as if fighting the strain of someone trying to break free of them (something Frau was intimately familiar with but that was a thought out of place). And yet he held them almost like a leash. With a look of discontentment he turned his head towards Frau, as if to see whether or not the intruder was worth bothering with, before he said, while turning his attention back to Gido, “you should have done as you were told, now all you've done is make this harder for us.” Then he muttered something which sounded an awful lot like “selfish cur.”As the strings of zaiphon recoiled Profe slid from where they had been sitting, or hovering maybe, on one of the hedges. They glided down in a soft slow motion like a feather and placed their hands on Gido's shoulders with a smile, but their eyes were fixed on Frau. “Now you've squandered your opportunity for us to be nice to you.”Perhaps because he'd seen it a million times and knew exactly what was coming Frau could only stare and watch. It was like watching a bubble that was about to burst on a spike, like a geyser before it burst or a volcano before it erupted. It started with a ripple underneath his skin that bristled like electricity and then tore through with all its might and if Frau had to describe what he saw it would have likened it to a wars that was trying to keep itself together at the seams. Instead of drooping like goo the black substance was jagged and jutting from his skin like spikes. Like it was trying to keep its human form at all cost, which under different circumstances might have been fascinating but under the current Frau could only stare at Gido's half deformed face and the extra eyes that blinked back.Fest jumped back and was chased further away with the pitch black edge of a sword that seemed to extend itself from Gido's palm before Gido evidently lost interest and Fest and Profe retreated and Frau still stared. He couldn't do anything else anyway now that his brain was trying to come up with a viable solution for why that thing that looked and talked like Gido and resonated what little frequency of his soul he could get a hold of looked like the things he used to devour at night. And that was just about too much.Now that the Gido-wars-thing had successfully chased away the weird Fest and Profe almost too easily, all of its attention was on him now. He wasn't foolish enough to believe that Gido wouldn't consider him food now, and Frau could feel the quivering in his chest and throat long before it reached his voice. Whatever it was. Gido or not. He'd meet it with the same stubborn brashness Teito had shown him when he'd devoured Verne. “Gido...” Frau couldn't help how his voice shook and he had to swallow. There was no logical way a wars should have made it to heaven so whatever this was, it had to be Gido at its core and that there was a reasonable explanation for what he was seeing. “Get yourself together man, it's me, I've been looking for you all over!” He wanted answers and God dammit he wasn't going to leave without them now. His right arm felt awfully light. Too light and Frau realised he'd raised it out of habit for protection that would never come again. (And technically he was glad for that but there was still comfort in pretending it could protect him from all the evil in the world because the scythe would eat it away.)It was over just as quick as it had begun and all Frau could do was watch Gido almost wearily crack his bones when the black goop that all wars seemed to made off retreated back beneath his skin as if it belonged there. He watched as Gido flexed his fingers and examined his arms which now looked very much like human arms again. Not covered in that pitch black substance, sporting claws and half a sword jutting from his arm. Gido shook the arm in question as if he could still feel it in his skin and then very carefully ran it over his face as if he wasn't sure that it wouldn't cut him himself.“What was that?” Frau wanted to ask, but “what are you?” seemed a much more fitting question given what he'd just seen, but neither of the questions left his lips. Instead, he watched as the figure in front of him collapsed in on itself to the ground where Gido remained sitting as Frau approached him with so much calm it surprised himself. And yet he couldn't think of a single thing he wanted to say or do other than keep him company.“What did those bastards do to your soul?” He asked as he sat down with him on the soft grass and “Nothing it's always been like this,” came the quiet reply.“Bullshit, a wars can't get into heaven, not to mention that Zehel would have made a fuss about having that attached to him.” He wanted to ask who those people had been, but put that question off for later.There was no answer to that, but he thought he heard a quiet huff from Gido, but when he looked Frau saw a smile on his face, as empty as it was. “I didn't tell you everything, I've left out the beginning...” he spoke almost as if to himself while he went back to flexing his fingers and staring at his palm. Like he hadn't expected that to happen either, while Frau found it peculiar that he talked about the beginning of the story and not its ending. Usually, people omitted the harsh and self-damning endings and not the beginnings. “It's a wish… the story starts with a wish,” he said a little louder now and smiled that little empty smile again. “I've always thought that if you wish for something you should treat it kindly… your wish that is, it's the least you can do when it's a tangible thing – to treat it with the care it deserves, whatever that is, depends on what it is of course...”Frau figured that his weary expression must've given away that his face, his mouth, in particular, hadn't quite settled back into human, because Gido placed his hand over it and shoved his jaw into place, like it had been broken and he had to set it. His eyes asked if it was better now and Frau pulled a face but nodded anyway. It was better. That wasn't what was bugging him. “You're not making a lot of sense right now,” he grumbled. He didn't want him to make sense. He didn't like the sense he was making.“Am I? I think you know what I'm saying, you've always been awfully clever.” Gido looked awfully sympathetic as he spoke.The thought that he should have lived his life without Gido dug open a cavity in his chest that brought back old pain that he'd thought washed away. To think that he would have been denied all that he had had if it hadn't been for someone's whim. That the impact Gido had had on his life could have been eradicated with the snap of someone's fingers just because his existence hadn't been wanted – wished for – in the first place. The thought was so ridiculous Frau wanted to discard it the second it came to him and yet here they were.He thought of all the souls he'd freed and devoured. He thought of all the times he'd hoped to find one that perhaps could have been Gido, knowing that it had been no more than wishful thinking even when he hadn't been aware that it took time to wash out the mark of the Ghosts. A silly thought which almost made him laugh, now that Gido had proclaimed himself flesh made wishful thinking.“I mean… I guess… you truly can wish for anything from a kor, can you? Even a child,” Frau asked the quiet between them, not quite sure what to do now. He watched Gido close his eyes as if exhausted and only now realised that he was holding onto his right arm as if clawing into his own skin would summon Verloren's scythe. Wondering why the kor hadn't answered the wish in a much more simpler way. An orphan would have sufficed he supposed. “Most people aren't that clever with their wishes.”“No...” Gido agreed quietly as Frau lowered his gaze to the ground. For the better part of his life, he'd wielded Verloren's scythe, but Gido wasn't food and he couldn't give him absolution either. For a moment Frau considered all he'd been taught about the touch of a wars and he wondered what stains Gido might have left on his soul but there was only a small sting of bitterness and he didn't stop him. His touch still held too much comfort.Quietly Frau stared, finally letting his head momentarily sink onto his knees with a frustrated sigh. “What the fuck did you think I'd do if you told me, you incompetent wet shower curtain really thought I'd give up on you that easily, what the fuck is wrong with you?” And there was a weird satisfaction in rapping Gido over the head with his hand and glowering at him. Although he didn't really want to, he wanted to remind him of all that he'd been to him, all the light he'd brought into his life. Tell him of the bridge of trials of how he'd thought he'd burst at the seams with the light, which hadn't felt much like light.“And how would you have expected that to go? Hey brat sucks that you died, it's gonna be fine, I've missed you too and by the way, I only exist because some asshole wished for it and I don't exactly know what that makes but its neither fish nor fowl and I'm possibly stuck up here forever too.”“That would have been honest at least!” Frau huffed. If they'd been alive… He didn't want to think about what he'd done if they'd been alive but it would have involved the scythe crawling out of his arm and considering Gido for a meal. “So what does that make you?” He asked quietly, staring at Gido's boots. Trying to wrap his head around the fact that it was only through a stroke of luck that he'd had him. Even if only for a short period in life and now for an indefinite amount of time in the afterlife.Frau couldn't help how he flinched a little when Gido reached out to dig his fingers into his hair and ruffle it, but instead of moving his head away Frau only let it sink onto his knees where he buried it. The weight on his shoulders and chest made it impossible for him to speak as he thought of Teito and his wish to return to him, to return with him when it was his time. For the mark of Zehel to be washed out by then and yet… He'd missed Gido all too much and to think that he wouldn't be able to follow him was as unthinkable to Frau as having to watch Teito come to Heaven and leave without him.“I don't think I'm any more contagious than a warsfeil,” Frau could hear the little sympathetic smile in Gido's voice. “Might be because of Zehel's mark… or because I'm almost sure that Zehel only marked your soul out of spite because it was so much work to leave a stain in the first place – you should be fine.”A lopsided smile showed on Frau's face as he lifted his head a little. Having Gido's hand in his hair helped him think even though he wouldn't admit that. That and it was simply comforting to have him touch him and know he was within reach as something tangible that he could grab for any moment he liked. “So how exactly does that work? I mean wouldn't the soul have to be bound? Wouldn't there be a mark?” Kors always left their mark on anything and everything they touched. Gido hummed in what sounded like agreement. “Yeah, it comes with a binding mark, but I was lucky and now my soul doesn't bear it anymore because I guess it's a part of it,” he grinned but didn't elaborate.There was a lump in his throat formed by the realisation that was slowly sinking in that he would eventually have to give Gido up again, but not in the least in the way he would have been prepared to by the time he would see Teito again. “Can't you wash it out? Like the mark of the Ghosts?” It was a childish question born out of the old hurt of being the only one left. Of being forced to separate what had made him feel safe.Sighing Gido leaned his head back, staring up at the sky above them as if it held all the answers in the world. “Doesn't seem to be the case… I mean I knew I'd be stuck here, just… I thought there was a way out.”“A way out?”“Yup, legend says Verloren can take the mark away, turns out it's not that easy.”“Is that why he's here?” Gido didn't answer and Frau wondered why that question made him look so sad.Keeping Verloren was impractical, to say the least, but he had to be the easiest prisoner to keep watch over in all of the world's history. He didn't eat. He didn't drink. He didn't sleep either Frau assumed. He was simply there. Waiting. Watching. And perhaps they could have grown accustomed to him, perhaps even made their peace with him, for they did have half an eternity and that was an awfully long time to never question someone's motives.Against Asyl's wish, Frau had decided to get around to the questioning rather sooner than later and had snuck into Vertrag's tower. He didn't know where to look so he merely wandered through its halls, hoping that Verloren couldn't walk through walls and accidentally bump into him, killing him instantly because nobody had been tired enough of their existence to test that as far as he knew. The thought let a shiver crawl up his spine and suddenly Frau wasn't so sure anymore about his endeavour. It was silly in the first place.Gido would have his head for this recklessness. And still, Frau couldn't convince his feet to turn around. It was against better judgement on all accounts.Frustrated when he couldn't find him Frau rather stomped through the halls and kicked a door open every now and then. But when that still didn't draw out Verloren Frau resigned himself to sitting at the foot of Vertrag's very much intact statue and muttering complaints about the other into the quiet as if to summon him out of sheer spite.“I presume you want my attention?”Frau almost flinched at the words. His head shot up to find Verloren, who still looked like chief of staff Ayanami, standing over him. He had casually folded his arms behind his back and was gazing at him with a look of mild curiosity and something which Frau could only read as amusement. “I wanted to talk to you,” Frau growled. Not sure why he wanted to do that in the first place, just that Verloren had answers to questions he'd had for too long and now would be the only time to ever ask them. So, unfortunately, they had to talk.Verloren was close. Almost too close. Close enough that if either of them reached out they would touch. It seemed a quiet threat on his part but Frau was less than impressed with it. With an amused snort, Verloren then spoke. “And what do wish to talk about?”“What's so funny?”“Out of all people stuck in this place it's you who comes to see me,” Verloren replied matter-of-factly.That didn't make any sense to Frau, but the look on the other's face told him that there wouldn't be any answer for him no matter how much he pried. “Can I ask something?”“You can,” Verloren decided after a moment of scrutinising him thoughtfully, “any questions you'd like if you tell me why you of all people would care for my answers when you despise me so much.”Frau shrugged. He couldn't tell why he thought Verloren of all would give him an honest answer. Or why he cared enough to ask in the first place. Simply that there was something inside him that was sure that this was his only chance. “You're the only one I can ask, so first question, is your touch as deadly as in your true form?”Instead of answering Verloren unfolded his arms and opened them as if asking for a hug as odd as that seemed. “Would you like to test it?”Uncertain Frau scrutinised him. He was curious, but not suicidal and yet his arm seemed to move almost entirely on its own as he reached out and his hand paused just a finger's width over Verloren's palm. He wasn't scared to touch him, Frau told himself and yet… and yet his hand hovered and to his own surprise and confusion, the other seemed anxious and mildly surprised himself. Wordlessly he retrieved his hand and rubbed his thumb over the empty palm which had almost touched Verloren. Would his skin be warm? Frau couldn't say why he wondered that.He had only really come to ask one question. It had a little addendum that he was curious about but it was only the first question that mattered at all. “Is it true?” The words came out easier than expected. With less emotion than expected.“Is what true?” Verloren asked although Frau could tell he was perfectly aware of the subject of his question.Frustrated that he had to explain himself Frau huffed, but Verloren remained silent. Unwilling to give in to his antics. “Did you kill her?” Frau sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before they scanned Verloren's face. “All aside what happened with Teito, was it all for the truth?”Very slowly Verloren raised a brow, then tilted his head a little. “What does it matter to you now, it's all over and you've contributed to that quite a lot.”“I just want to know!” Frau insisted, frustrated with how much the matter bothered him in the first place. Oddly enough Verloren smiled, a balancing act between benign and mischievous. “I might not be able to choke the life out of you, but I can chuck something at your head so it would be in your best interest to answer me and answer me honestly.”Verloren chuckled before the joy was sucked from his face and it returned to its emotionless mask that he wore like a skull its smile. His eyes closed and his shoulders sank and for a moment Frau thought he could see something akin to sadness when he retrieved his hands once more from behind his back to stare at them. “She protected me… from her father's guards and as she fell I...” Slowly Verloren curled his hands into fists only to unfurl them within the same breath. “I caught her.”Frau watched as he folded his arms as if to distract himself from whatever memory might still linger in the palms of his hands. He could have laughed. He could have cried. He could have raged. But all he felt was a weird sting in his chest as if it had been pierced by something. He was almost sure he could feel blood soaking through his clothes but when he grasped at the fabric it was dry and moments later the feeling was gone except for a mild headache which made him bury his head in his heads.Between them lingered nothing but silence while Frau wasn't so sure he should continue this conversation at all. Whether he should be here at all. But his legs felt like they were filled with lead and he couldn't bring himself to leave against better judgement. “What about her mother?” He asked, eyes unfocused staring at the ground from beneath the spaces in between his fingers. “You were there before her, weren't you?”“Why would you ask about that?” For the first time, there was a hint of emotion in his voice. A little bit of confusion.“It's just something I've always wondered,” Frau replied more honestly than he had intended. “He's God so why doesn't he resurrect her, why doesn't he snap his fingers to recreate her, what's so important about punishing you and grieving her that he can't use his almighty power to undo the damage,” sighing Frau dragged his hands down his face to lift his head and look up at Verloren, still standing within arm's reach and suddenly not looking all that threatening anymore. “Is it because he can't do it or because he won't do it, and if he can't then I have one hell of a bone to pick with that guy, hell I've got a skeleton to pick with him just because of the whole thing with the Ghosts,” he grumbled to himself..Verloren opened his mouth as if to speak, but seemed to think better of his actions and fell silent again. “I don't know, but if there is a mother I have never seen her and never heard of her existence,” Verloren replied at last and very quietly. “That thought never crossed my mind, why did it cross yours I wonder, I doubt there are many humans who bother to question these things.”Frau shrugged again. He didn't have an answer for that.This time it was Verloren who broke the silence that dragged on between them. “I would like to show you something, but we only have a moment so you ought to pay close attention.”Frowning was all Frau got to do before he noticed the first shift in their surroundings. It was the flicker of an image from the corner of his eye, his eyes darted around then back to Verloren who had his eyes closed and looked awfully concentrated. But Frau didn't get to react before their surroundings flickered again and they were suddenly in a forest. White petals were falling all around them while the ground which was covered in large patches of the flowers it belonged to.His first instinct told him to be frightened and Frau did, in fact, feel his heart jump into his throat, but then he jumped up with the urge to confirm that their surroundings were as real as them. Awkwardly Frau grabbed onto a tree branch and fished a hand full of petals from the air, stunned more than anything for the moment. Stunned for it was so peaceful and bright and normal if he didn't count the flower petals raining from the sky which seemed to be heaven's trademark.It was gone just as quick as it had appeared and Frau was left standing with a fist full of flower petals which he let rain to the floor in front of Vertrag's statue.“My home,” Verloren murmured. “She loved those flowers.”Frau didn't know what to say. He kept staring at the leftover petals in his palm.It made sense now. It did, Frau thought, that Gido didn't like that game they were playing. He wouldn't have liked the idea of thinking about what he wished for when he couldn't have any either, but that was not what why he had come to talk to him. He had two much more important questions now that his conversation with Verloren had been allowed to ferment for a while in the depths of his conscience.He'd found him in his room on his bed, reading a worn book with yellowed pages. Gido didn't lift his head and barely moved his eyes when he entered, not even when Frau took one of the nearby chairs and pulled it next to the bed so he could sit while they talked. “Do any of the others know?” He asked and lit a cigarette.It took a moment before Gido's eyes paused and he gave the page a dog ear as he put the dog down. “Most of the older ones… I think, possibly Asyl...”“You think?”“This isn't something to hawk around, Frau.”But Frau only grumbled around his cigarette. “Fine... I guess…” He thought about his little visit to Verloren but he didn't feel like talking about it. Not so soon. Besides, that wasn't the only thing on his mind. “I always...” With a sigh, Frau turned his head away and ran his fingers through the hair on the back. “It's death on the third wish right...” He muttered to himself, thinking of Bastien for the first time in a long while. “I mean… how do you think that would have worked for you if the blast hadn't torn you to literal shreds.” The thought still made him queasy but now that Gido wasn't just a hand on the steering wheel of his ship anymore it was manageable. Gido sighed, rolling onto his side. “No fucking idea, I've wondered about that for as long as I lived and then some more since I got here, I figure fate has a way of dealing with people like me, maybe there's a special squad in heaven under the Chief's command that's supposed to deal with people like me, I sincerely doubt my father invented wishing your heir into life,” he said rather dryly.Given a thousand years time had passed since Eve's death that was indeed a ridiculous thought. Staring at Gido now another thought came to mind. “You don't really have that under control do you?” Frau laughed when Gido grumbled in response. “It's obvious, you may have less trouble keeping yourself intact then any other wars I've met but you looked pretty disorientated when you came to, so I doubt you wanted that to happen… did you?”He'd carried Verloren's scythe for better or for worse for the longest time while he'd been alive and Frau couldn't remember that any Ghost other than him had previously done that. Gido seemed to consider that in the silence that followed.“I don't see what's there to control,” Gido admitted at last and frowned.With a sigh, Frau leaned back against the chair and nudged Gido's leg with the heel of his boot. “You do realise that you looked like a wars, do you?” Gido raised a brow and pushed his foot away. “Listen, I can only hazard a guess as what you're made of, but you clearly don't know how the fuck to handle it – I don't think anybody would know but it's not going to get better if you just ignore it.”Gido groaned quietly. “I told you I thought I would get rid of it!” But when Frau kept glowering at him he raised a brow and propped himself up on his arm. “Well then oh mighty scythe whisperer share your wisdom,” he grinned.Frau returned it although quite bitter. “You've watched that too, didn't you?” He took a drag of his cigarette. “All I'm saying is you're not listening, even those poor bastards in the rehabilitation centres for kor addiction got a better grip on themselves than you.”“Harsh,” Gido replied dryly. “I told you I wasn't even aware this was a one-way street until recently, don't blame me.” He was picking at the bedsheets and avoiding his eyes.“You forget that I was a bishop and a Ghost,” Frau reminded him softly and got up to sit by Gido's side. And perhaps that he had spent around a decade devouring souls like his too. “To me, you're still you, if that helps any…” He smiled. “And for the record, I think you would have tasted awful by default.”“You would have eaten me?”“Nibbled… out of curiosity.” Frau said with an almost wolfish grin and leaned in to kiss him because Gido had, in fact, flinched at the idea of being devoured by the scythe.Whatever the hell had compelled him to come back couldn't be rooted his instinct for self-preservation because that Frau presumed was that little thing in the back of his head trying to convince him that he shouldn't be here. Frau had decided to ignore that little voice and come anyway. It was surprising that Verloren was still here at all. He'd figured the Chief of Heaven would have struck him dead by now. That surely had to be in his power if they were in heaven.“You're back,” Verloren to his surprise smiled and Frau thought it almost reached his eyes. He was sitting in a room which was empty except for a chair and desk and had seemed lost in thought.Frau wondered why that amused him, but he could tell that he wouldn't get a conclusive answer to that. “It's a miracle that you haven't been turned into dust yet.” Frau let out a breath of blue smoke. Whether or not Verloren would like that he smoked he didn't much care.A shrug answered him and then silence for a very long while. “I don't have a death wish… if wants me dead I'm sure He knows where to find me, but that's not why you're here, are you?” Again that little smile on his face, this time knowing. “If I answer your questions this time would you deliver a message for me?”“Sure,” Frau replied with a shrug before he had thought that through. He wasn't obligated to follow through with the request either way. “What's the message?” What harm could there be in delivering a message?“That can wait till we're done, what are your questions?” Verloren replied nonchalantly and with no intention of revealing anything more.Frau grumbled about that but wasn't going to argue with somebody who seemed to be staring right through him. It reminded him of the distracted looks of the strays outside the cathedral. “Why go through the trouble and show me that place?” It wasn't hard to tell that they had stayed only the fraction of a moment because otherwise Verloren would have given up his location and would have swiftly been executed. Or something like that. Frau couldn't imagine it any other way than lighting striking down and reducing him first to skeletal remains and then to ash.Verloren studied him for a moment. He'd kept that little smile that Frau didn't know what to make of. “Do you want to see that place again?”Frau halted, he'd slumped against the door frame and slowly let the smoke seep out between his teeth and lips in a breath he was barely aware of. The question had stirred something in the depths of his soul, something that he wanted to claim was curiosity but felt much closer to yearning.Without a word, Verloren closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. Expecting the change this time Frau was able to watch it more closely. They weren't in the same part of the forest as before and it was a little darker, a little closer to twilight but the way the light fell through the cracks in the canopy above them illuminate the area with warm colours. Frau nudged a little round bird-like creature sitting on top of a signpost. An utterly useless signpost. A grumpy little chirp answered him. Then it was all gone again and he could feel Verloren's watchful eyes on him.Entranced Frau rubbed a thumb over his finger where he could still feel the soft feathers, and when he moved his head a few petals fell from it and more had scattered on his clothes. “You didn't answer my question,” he couldn't help but complain. Only to realise that he wouldn't get an answer. Not right now anyway. “So what's the message?” He sighed into the quiet which had followed.“A question – ask that lousy pirate you're so attached to if he knew.”“What the hell's got Gido to do with this?”“I thought you would have figured that out by now,” Verloren inquired quite curiously. And then it took Frau a moment and the thought which he had been trying to avoid settled uncomfortably with the words that Verloren spoke. “He was the only one with viable interest in making sense of my memories, it shouldn't surprise you that I knew him.”Affiliations with the military hadn't been out of the ordinary for the sky pirates, neither Raggs nor Barsburg nor any of the other kingdoms had been happy about their very existence. But Frau only remembered their encounters as brief interventions of their lives which had been strictly dictated by business and the need to never see each other again as quickly as possible. Frau also hadn't wanted to think that Gido had deliberately kept the information of Verloren's reincarnation to himself, but that was exactly what Verloren, or perhaps he should say Ayanami in this case, had insinuated.Frau hadn't waited to think it over, he'd left Vertrag's tower straight away to find Gido, forgetting in the process to ask what exactly Gido was supposed to know but now he didn't want to turn back either. He'd have to yell at Gido first.“You knew that he was Verloren and you didn't think to inform anyone about that, did you think that little of the others not to understand.” He barely thought his action through when he grabbed his collar and head-butted him.“Why the fuck were you in the tower?” Gido breathed, but Frau had no intention of letting him yell back.“Irrelevant to what I asked you,” Frau growled, fingers still curled into the collar of his coat that Gido couldn't seem to quite abandon. But with a sigh, he let go and brought a little distance back between them. He didn't know what to make of that bitter, sad little smile that displayed on Gido's face.“That's not a question you want an answer to,” he said at last. “Let sleeping dogs lie, Frau.”“No, you being honest would have made my life easier by a long shot, the least you can do now is tell me why you did it.”The expression on Gido was almost strangely sorrowful, but Frau didn't know how else to read it. “It's almost funny how time doesn't change how I feel…” He paused, or so it seemed but it seemed to be all he wanted to say on the subject, while Frau tried to make sense of that a little cryptic message. Because he didn't really want to think that perhaps it meant what it meant. “I knew I was acting selfish and that I could have spared us all a lot of trouble...” The expression on his face didn't want to ask for forgiveness or sympathy but Frau could see it beneath the surface of it, fighting against reason. “I wanted him to promise me, that he'd rid me of that damned mark no matter if dead or alive, if I had told them I'd found Verloren's reincarnation he would have been dealt with right that instant simply because he was of position in the military – too risky, but I needed him to remember and believe and hear me out as selfish as that was...”“Why didn't you tell after you had reminded him?” Frau asked, dreading the answer.“I couldn't...” Gido shrugged, gaze falling to the floor.Frau watched him look away and close his eyes, breathe quietly as if he was holding something together inside. Couldn't. Frau turned that word over in his head and realised that he didn't want to know why Gido had said it like that.“He wanted to know if you knew...” Frau pressed out instead, not wanting to linger on the subject. Not wanting to consider any of it. Angry with himself. Angry at the fact that Gido had been right.“Knew what?” Gido tilted his head with the question, seemingly glad for the change of subject and for the distraction as well.Frau wished that he wouldn't look away, wouldn't avoid his eyes. Wished that he hadn't brought it up. “I don't know, I was overcome with the rightful urge to yell at you and had to get that out my system first,” he muttered.Amused Gido's mouth curled into a smile and then laughed quietly. “I really have no idea what sort of information he means to gain by that.” It wasn't a lie and he wasn't holding back anything either, Frau could tell and somehow that was even more disappointing then whatever truth he'd been supposed to find could have been. But it seemed he had to content himself with the fact that Gido too was none the wiser about what Verloren had wanted to know. For once he didn't seem to have all the answers.
GIDO
There were a thousand reasons why he shouldn't be here, but Gido had a thousand more to dispel them. He had always placed too much or not enough weight on his decisions, and this one felt light as a feather to him. Besides, he was dead and what impact did his existence now have anyway that it didn't interfere with history anyway.He noticed that the room Ayanami had chosen allowed him to watch Asyl standing guard, or perhaps vigil would be a better word given the circumstances. She was standing vigil like there was use in guarding the tower in the first place. Like Ayanami couldn't just walk out any moment he pleased. He wondered where Hyuuga was because he couldn't see him and that usually meant he should suspect him to hiding somewhere close by.And yet he didn't and nobody seemed to be coming to get him and Gido wasn't sure why any of that was.Ayanami didn't say anything, but his shoulder bumped into him when he strolled through the empty room and took his seat on the window sill from where he could watch the inner yard of the cathedral. “You don't need to say anything, I know that you don't know.”“I'd like it better if you told me what you thought I might know in the first place,” Gido replied and stepped a little closer. Not quite able to close the whole distance yet, even though he wanted to, but for now he contented himself with the distance. Distance seemed safe and reasonable and he had to be reasonable for once around Ayanami.Slowly and with the barest minimum of movement, Ayanami shook his head. “You will know,” he said instead. “In time – you've always been clever like that.” His head moved a little when Gido came closer and leaned against the wall next to the window sill. “That soul...” Ayanami began and paused and then decided not to finish his sentence, but kept a knowing look on his face. “A human life is a miserable existence for a death god, I wouldn't go back even if he gave me the opportunity, not… that I am thrilled about the alternative.”To be killed for what he had done. Presumably done. Gido allowed himself to give him the benefit of the doubt on that subject, but he wasn't so sure if he really wanted to know. Eve was a matter of the past where he had to trust the knowledge of the Ghosts. The life and actions of Ayanami however, now that was a much more tangible matter.“There are others like you, but they are far and few between,” Ayanami said and reached out his arms, beckoning Gido to lean down. “I want to teach you their scent,” he explained when Gido showed his reluctance. Reluctance that he barely felt and made him all the more unwillingly. Involuntarily Gido closed his eyes when Ayanami's hands closed around his face once again. Warm and familiar as they had always been and he couldn't help how that made him smile. “When I'm gone from this place in one way or another I want you to find them and bring them here while there are still Ghosts around.”“Is that an order?” Gido smirked, daring to open one eye and glance at Ayanami's face which was almost too close.“You were made from parts of a kor, it was worth a try,” he remarked, patted his face and let go. “There, all done.”“I don't feel any different.”Ayanami shrugged as if to say he didn't know whether or not Gido should feel something in the first place. “Perhaps you would do me a favour?” He then asked so quietly it was almost inaudible.“For you – always, unfortunately,” Gido smiled, but it was strained with black. Even though it seemed to please Ayanami.Thoughtfully Ayanami stared out the window as if considering how to phrase what he wanted to say. “Don't pry, Gido, I know you have a habit of doing so, but let her soul wake up on its own, but that may take a few more lifetimes so keep watching over it – you'll have to be our memory for a while if push comes to shove, you wouldn't mind that, would you?.”Raising his brows, one after another Gido watched him. “What's that supposed to mean?” He almost sounded like he'd found Eve.“Call it petty revenge for the fate her father inscribed on my body,” Ayanami mumbled. “I'd wake her up, I think I have enough power for that, just...” His eyes wandered around the yard.“If you're saying what I think you're saying I can't let you get away with it this time around,” Gido sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. “There's no way I can't tell anyone if you think you've found her.”“I would believe that if you were capable of making reasonable decisions regarding my person,” Ayanami replied nonchalantly and turned his eyes towards Gido who flinched, caught as he was. “Show a little patience, the one thing you've never been good at and you'll see… she's got the brightest soul you think you've ever seen, ring a bell?”Gido laughed. He knew a soul like that.