Work Text
this is so sad, monty plays despaYEETo
[03:17]
jj gaybrahams
guys
if the earth is flat, how flat is it
are we on a spinning frisbee in space
micropenis energy
jasperistggo the FUCK to sleep
jj gaybrahams
thats rude you oat my feelies
[03:24]
jj gaybrahams
ik you read that
this gc has RECEIPTS johnathon
[03:29]
micropenis energy
i hate you
MILFer
its half 3amim too tired to remember these nicknamesi get a notification that says ‘micropenis energy has sent a message to this is so sad, monty play despaYEETo’i die everytimalso, jasperwouldnt it be a spinning boomerang in space since it always comes back to where it was before
jj gaybrahamas
shit u right
i must update my flat earth gc
MILFer
*upgayte
micropenis energy
istg jasperyoure not in a flat earth gc
jj gaybrahams
bitch i might be
you dont know me
youre not my REAL dad
micropenis energy
you say that like its a bad thingim HAPPY im not your dad
MILFer
but are you his daddy?thats the real qeusiton
micropenis energy
istg miller
jj gaybrahams has set the group chat name to Arkadia’s Flat Earth Society
micropenis energy
jasperSTOP
jj gaybrahams
i will never stop
this is the hill i will die on
micropenis energy sent [attachment thenperish.png]
MILFer
hi 991i would like to report a murder
jj gaybrahams
ur meant to be on my side, miller
BETRAYAL
i came onto this gc
as an innocent flat earther
and i have been attacked and betrayed and stabbed in the back by my own side
this is TREASON
micropenis energy
who made you the monarch
MILFer has set the nickname of jj gaybrahams’ to absolute drama queen
micropenis energy
well.
MILFer has set the nickname of absolute drama queen to absolute drama monarch
absolute drama monarch has set the nickname of absolute drama monarch to FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
micropenis energy
…im going to bed
MILFer
that sounds like a good idea
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
guys
dont go
pls
[04:11]
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
guys
[07:51]
gaylaxy level brain
What the fuck happened last night?
[08:04]
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
Enlightenment happened last night, Monty.
Enlightenment.
[08:43]
micropenis energy
*bullshit
[10:57]
micropenis energy
can i express with the upmost sincerity how much i hate the fact that im now in a group chat called arkadias flat earth society
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
no
micropenis
energy
jasper, you are the antithesis of whatever good is left in this shit world.
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
go float yourself nerd
micropenis energy
go float yourself
bitch
gaylaxy level brain
Float?
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
go jump off of my spinning boomerang and float around in space until you die
gaylaxy level brain
Well okay then.
MILFer
hey jasper
is mars flat
micropenis energy
MILLER
MILFer
and if mars is flat
micropenis energy
STOP
MILFer
how flat is it
micropenis energy
STOP ENCOURAGING HIM
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
mars has been observed to be round
gaylaxy level brain
What?
micropenis energy
it is somehow WORSE that you know mars is round
gaylaxy level brain
You have broken my brain, Jasper.
I have AP Chemistry next and all I’m gonna be able to think about is how you refer to Earth as a ‘spinning boomerang’, but know that Mars is round.
MILFer
i blame murphy
gaylaxy level brain
I second that.
micropenis energy
HOW IS IT MY FAULT
MILFer
youre the one who brought it up
micropenis energy
were in a group chat called arkadias flat earth society
it would be brought up eventually
istg i hate you guys so much
MILFer
no you don’t
you have no other friends
were all you have
bitch
micropenis energy
go float yourself miller
your only other friend is your bitch ass boyfriend
MILFer
DONT INSULT BRYAN
I WILL TREK ACROSS THIS STUPIDLY GIGANTIC SCHOOL TO GET TO YOUR AP ENGLISH LANGUAGE CLASS YOU NERD AND SUFFOCATE YOU WITH YOUR COPY OF HAMLET IF YOU INSULT MY BAE AGAIN
micropenis energy
“bae”
also
miller
you do shakespeare in english lit not lang
idiot
gaylaxy level brain
That’s what you’re going to focus on in that sentence.
micropenis energy
yup
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
Hi my name is Jasper Dark’ness Dementia Jordan Way and I have short jasper brown hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-neck and earthy brown eyes like stained tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Rodrick from Diary of a Wimpy Kid (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a flat earther but my teeth are gay and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a badass, and I go to a non-believing school called Arkadia High in America where I’m in the eleventh grade (I’m sixteen). I’m bi (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black FOB t-shirt with a matching beanie around it and black skinny jeans, goggles and black converse. I was wearing no lipstick, no foundation, black eyeliner and goggles. I was walking outside Arkadia High. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of non-flat-earthers stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
micropenis energy
jasper
no
no
no
MILFer
i hate you
micropenis energy
no
no
gaylaxy level brain
What in tarnation?
micropenis energy
no
no
no
no
MILFer
do not cite the ancient magic at me
i was there when it was written
micropenis energy
no
no
gaylaxy level brain
I did not think this group chat could get any worse.
And yet
micropenis energy
im done
im putting my phone away and listening to kane
this is what you have done to me jasper jordan
this is your fault
[11:38]
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
.- -.-. -.-. --- .-. -.. .. -. --. ··--·· - --- ··--·· .- .-.. .-.. ··--·· -.- -. --- .-- -. ··--·· .-.. .- .-- ... ··--·· --- ..-. ··--·· .- ...- .. .- - .. --- -. ··--·· ··--·· - .... . .-. . ··--·· .. ... ··--·· -. --- ··--·· .-- .- -.-- ··--·· .- ··--·· -... . . ··--·· ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. ··--·· -... . ··--·· .- -... .-.. . ··--·· - --- ··--·· ..-. .-.. -.-- ··--·· ··--·· .. - ... ··--·· .-- .. -. --. ... ··--·· .- .-. . ··--·· - --- --- ··--·· ... -- .- .-.. .-.. ··--·· - --- ··--·· --. . - ··--·· .. - ... ··--·· ..-. .- - ··--·· .-.. .. - - .-.. . ··--·· -... --- -.. -.-- ··--·· --- ..-. ..-. ··--·· - .... . ··--·· --. .-. --- ..- -. -.. ··--·· ··--·· - .... . ··--·· -... . . ··--·· ··--·· --- ..-. ··--·· -.-. --- ..- .-. ... . ··--·· ··--·· ..-. .-.. .. . ... ··--·· .- -. -.-- .-- .- -.-- ··--·· -... . -.-. .- ..- ... . ··--·· -... . . ... ··--·· -.. --- -. ··--·· - ··--·· -.-. .- .-. . ··--·· .-- .... .- - ··--·· .... ..- -- .- -. ... ··--·· - .... .. -. -.- ··--·· .. ... ··--·· .. -- .--. --- ... ... .. -... .-.. . ··--·· ··--·· -.-- . .-.. .-.. --- .-- ··--·· ··--·· -... .-.. .- -.-. -.- ··--·· ··--·· -.-- . .-.. .-.. --- .-- ··--·· ··--·· -... .-.. .- -.-. -.- ··--·· ··--·· -.-- . .-.. .-.. --- .-- ··--·· ··--·· -... .-.. .- -.-. -.- ··--·· ··--·· -.-- . .-.. .-.. --- .-- ··--·· ··--·· -... .-.. .- -.-. -.- ··--·· ··--·· --- --- .... ··--·· ··--·· -... .-.. .- -.-. -.- ··--·· .- -. -.. ··--·· -.-- . .-.. .-.. --- .-- ··--·· ··--·· ··--·· ··--·· ··--·· ··--··
MILFer
what
the
fuck
[11:53]
micropenis energy
i hate you
so much
jasper
fuck you
go float yourself
MILFer
what
what does it mean
micropenis energy
its the bee movie script
but in morse code
MILFer
omfg jasper why
also
the fuck you know morse code for, murphy?
micropenis energy
the fuck you dont know morse code for, miller?
MILFer
that sentence
hurts my eyes
arent you the english nerd
mr ap english language and lit
mr i have a favourite shakespeare play and its not one of the obvious ones
mr my favourite shakespeare play is timonthy of athens
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
DRAG HIM MILLER
micropenis energy
you sent us my immortal and bee movie
stfu
also
its timon of athens you uncultured swine
who doesnt want to isolate themselves from society and go live in a cave
MILFer
cave urchin
MILFer has set the nickname of micropenis energy to cave urchin
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
excuse me
my immortal is a literary masterpiece stfu
MILFer
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
cave urchin
“m y
i m m o r t a l
i s
a
l i t e r a r y
m a s t e r p i e c e”
FLAT EARTH WILL SURVIVE
I stand by what I said.
MILFer
“MY IMMORTAL IS A LITERARY MASTERPIECE”
MY
IMMORTAL
cave urchin has set the nickname of FLAT EARTH WILL SURIVVE to ”my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
MILFer
IS
A
LITERARY
MASTERPIECE
"my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
i hate you guys
Argaydia High
[12:03]
fBI
im sat next to his guy and his phone has been lighting up on his desk for like ten minutes now and hes not looking at it
its killing me
hes determinedly not looking at it
what is he avoiding????? i need to know
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
who is it
im invested
fBI
monty green
i cant read the notifications from here and i dont want to be creepy and lean in to get a closer look but i need to know so bad
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
dont lean in and look
thats weird
fBI
thanks bellamy, i didnt know that
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
ik you clarke
youd look if you could
dont deny it
fBI
i hate you
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
doesnt mean im wrong tho
Gaygent
dont insult my wife blake
fBI
babe, as much as i appreciate you risking your phone being taken away by byrne to defend me
hes not wrong
Gaygent
ily
fBI
ily2
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
ew
also
montys friend with jasper jordan
hes probably texting him
jaspers weird
funny
but weird
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
he could just be in a group chat
you guys are making my phone light up and im determinedly ignoring it
fBI
bitch
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
you have a free rn
you have no excuse
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i know (:
i just hate you guys
fBI
BITCH
the happy tree
i agree with bellamy
please stop
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
BETRAYAL
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
raven
stop
fBI
you know, montys phone is still lighting up
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
so is mine
hes not special
Bob Roctavia
i think clarke should lean in and look at montys phone
the happy tree
octavia no
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
octavia yes
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
have you guys ever stopped ever
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
do it
do it
do it
Bob Roctavia
do it
do it
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i hate you guys
Bob Roctavia
do it
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
DO IT
DO IT
fBI
imma do it
the happy tree
you know
as a group
we need to not
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i second that
fBI
it said something like cave urchin sent a message to arkadias flat earth society
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
we have a flat earth society?
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no
no we do not
and if we do
i refuse to acknowledge its existence
the happy tree
well
at least we know its a group chat
even though really we should not know that
because its an invasion of privacy
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
they dont care lincoln
they should
but they dont
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
youre a bitch bellamy blake
fBI
i agree
btw i think monty noticed me looking
he just gave me a weird look
the happy tree
i wonder why
Bob Roctavia has set the group chat name to youre a bitch bellamy blake
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i hate you guys
also
where are we meeting for lunch
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
shit
its nearly lunch
in like five minutes
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yes well done raven
thats why i asked
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
bitch
the happy tree
outside the art classrooms?
exit, pursued a bearllamy
im cool with that
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
cool
Bob Roctavia
cool
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
cool
Bob Roctavia
cool
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
cool
fBI
cool
Bob Roctavia
cool
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i hate you all
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
wow mood
Eat a cracker and stop
[14:43]
Le Princess
i forgot i had biology with monty and hes still looking at me like im weird
Dramatique Mechaniqueyou are weirdbut that doesnt mean you should stare
Le Princess
thanks raven
Dramatique Mechanique
no problem boo :*
Red Kween
why are you sending it in this gc
Le Princess
because i dont want bellamy or lincoln to say i told you so
Red Kween
fair
Dramatique Mechanique
pull a power move and stare at him back
try to psychically transfer despacito to him
Red Kween
we love an outdated meme in this gc
Dramatique Mechanique
fuck you octagon
Red Kween
fUcK yOu OcTaGoN
psychically transfer all star
or psychically rickroll him
Dramatique Mecanique
psychrickroll him
Le Princess
omg
okay but seriously
i think i weirded him out
Red Kween
dont worry, you have that effect on most people
Le Princess
i came out here to have a good time
and im feeling really attacked right now
Red Kween
we love an outdated meme in this gc
Le Princess
fuck you
youre an outdated meme
Red Kween
at least ive been funny before
Dramatique Mechanique has set the nickname of Red Kween to An Outdated Meme
An Outdated Meme
fuck you
Dramatique Mechanique
(:
An Outdated Meme
we love outdated internet trends in this gc
Dramatique Mechanique
genuinely
fuck you
Le Princess
we still havent solved my monty problem
An Oudated Meme
i mean
do we need
to
Le Princess
octavia
An Outdated Meme
listen
either you apologise which involves admitting you looked at his phone which is kinda weird
or you ignore it until the problem goes away
Dramatique Mechanique
wow
what a mood
An Outdated Meme
what problem is raven talking about today? the brand new game show coming to a gc near you
you still havent talked to finn?
Dramatique Mechanique
two months and going strong
Le Princess
you guys are no help
id ask bellamy for help but im not dealing with his i told you so
ill just ignore the problem
hes not staring at me anymore
which is probably more that hes talking to his friend
but im taking it as progress
Dramatique Mechanique
thats my girl
Arkadia’s Flat Earth Society
[19:27]
gaylaxy level brain
Can we change the group chat name?
Please?
My Mom saw it and she made a point to criticize the Flat Earth Society over dinner.
cave urchin
ashffwfownerveernjvnjn
monty
i love your mom
gaylaxy level brain
Yeah, well, she doesn’t love you.
cave urchin
yeah ik
do you not remember last time i came to your house
and she pulled me aside and told me that people like me would be a bad influence lmao
gaylaxy level brain
I’m sorry about that btw
Dad convinced her to apologise later if it makes it any better.
She didn’t because she couldn’t get into contact with your Mom and wanted to do it that way but you know, the thought is there.
cave urchin
lmao she could have just called the parole officer
but seriously
its fine monty
im not upset
and also
i second the vote to change the gc name
MILFer
i third it
cave urchin
“i third it”
MILFer
murphy
fuck off
im on your side
lets change it before jasper gets on here
gaylaxy level brain
What to?
cave urchin has set the group chat name to ”i third it”
cave urchin
that.
MILFer
thanks murphy
gaylaxy level brain
SHE JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH A DOCUMENTARY TITLED “FLAT EARTH: DEBUNKED”
I CAN’T
cave urchin
asfjfjsfevejrfej
MILFer
your mom is the definition of extra
cave urchin
the apotheosis of extra, you could say
MILFer
stfu lit nerd
cave urchin
“stfu lit nerd”
just because im gonna pass ap english literature and youre not doesnt mean you should insult me miller
MILFer
go float yourself
im not the nerd who takes ap english lit
cave urchin
are you gonna pass regular english lit tho
MILFer
fuk u
float urself
gaylaxy level brain
So we’re actually gonna keep using that float thing?
cave urchin
apparently so
MILFer
dont you have flat earth documentaries to watch
gaylaxy level brain
Float yourself, Miller.
”my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
the floaters will take over
MILFer
wat
”my immortal is a literary masterpiece” has set the group chat name to The Floaty Bois
cave urchin
i hate everything about this.
gaylaxy level brain
You know what? I do have some Flat Earth Documentaries to watch.
I’m officially done with this gc.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The Floaty Bois
[08:12]
cave urchin
day two of this name
i still cant stand it
how long until we can change it w/o jasper changing it back
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
neverwe are the floaty bois and we cannot change thatwe must accept itfor we cannot change out fate
cave urchin
okay calm down francis galton
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
the float is francis galton?
cave urchin
“the float”
darwins cousin
he didnt believe in free will
MILFer
nerd
gaylaxy level brain
Galton actually believed our ability to choose our fate was down to our biology.
MILFer
nerdim friends with a bunch of nerds
cave urchin
can we change the name to that
the floaty bois sounds like a porn parody of a sixties boy band
MILFer
lmaoid change the gc name to that if montys mom wasnt so extra that shed give a lecture on porn to him and probably tell our parents to give us one too
cave urchin has set the group chat name to a porn parody of a sixties boy band
cave urchin
jokes on you my moms back in prison
MILFer
your foster parents arent
cave urchin has set the group chat name to a parody of a sixties boy band
cave urchin
there
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece” has set the group chat name to THE FLOATY BOIS
cave urchin
i swear to fUCK
gaylaxy level brain
This group chat makes me question my own existence on a regular basis.LikeIs this the meaning of life? To spend my days with people like this? Is there any point? Was Galton right? Did I end up with unlucky biology?Is God dead? Can they hear me? Give me a sign please
MILFer
Hey, Assbut!
gaylaxy level brain
No.
cave urchin
i will block you
MILFer
weve already established that you have no other friends
cave urchin
i would prefer to be forever alone than have to ever hear a reference to supernatural again
lets not forget that my sexuality crisis was practically entirely based around jared padaleckis hair
i have spent too much time with that show, i never need to see it again.
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
mine was brendon urie
MILFer
waitjonathonwho else was your sexuality crisis based aroundother than moose
cave urchin
stop making spn references Nathan
and it was billy loomis from scream
gaylaxy level brain
Isn’t he one of the killers?
cave urchin
yeah
MILFer
lmao murphy, yall are kinky
cave urchin
why are you saying ‘yall’, im not a plural
gaylaxy level brain
There’s a part of me that has to ask why out of everything in that sentence, you respond to the incorrect use of grammar, but I know that part will never get a coherent answer.
cave urchin
monty, dude, save your existential crisis until at least three in the afternoon.
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
yeahat least until its nine in the afternoon
cave urchin
no.
MILFer
CAUSE ITS NINE IN THE AFTERNOON
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece"
AND YOUR EYES ARE THE SIZE OF THE MOON
cave urchin
no
MILFer
YOU COULD CAUSE YOU CAN SO YOU DO
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
WERE FEELING SO GOOD
gaylaxy level brain
I hate you all.
cave urchin
mood
[10:21]
cave urchin
pikes class genuinely makes me want to enchant myself with wine and entomb myself so i can starve to death
gaylaxy level brain
Calm down, Eddy.It’s not that bad.
MILFer
eddy?also, you both took physicswhat did you expect
gaylaxy level brain
Edgar Allan Poe
MILFer
nerd
cave urchin
to not feel like im being lectured at by a tyrannical dictator whos testing his luck with a school before running for senate
MILFer
you give the weirdest analogies murphy
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
hes right thoi had pike for physics last year and that describes the experience of his classes perfectly
cave urchin
i hate that the person agreeing with me is the one who named this group floaty bois
im questioning my own opinion rn
MILFer
jasper
youve officially broken murphy
well done
cave urchin
fuck you miller
gaylaxy level brain
Murphy, get off your phone.
MILFer
youre literally on your phone in the same class monty
gaylaxy level brain
Yeah, but Pike’s not staring directly at me.
[10:46]
cave urchin
i hate group projects so much
they always suck
and if you actually need to get a good grade, you always end up having to do all of the work
because there are people
like me in freshman year
who never do their part
its the assassination of julius caesar all over again
MILFer
okay one
the way you wrote that makes it sound like you were then when caesar was stabbed
which you werent because your bitch ass would have been slaughtered in ancient rome
and two
how the fuck did i think you were straight when we first met
you are the most dramatic person i have ever met
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
dont say it
MILFer
an overdramatic twink, if you will
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
fuck
cave urchin
fuck you
bryans jawline is enough to know youre the twink in the relationship you useless emo dullard
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
“emo dullard”
asfjfjgjgejg
im dead
gaylaxy level brain
Are you all done being dramatic gays yet?
Murphy, Pike hasn’t even announced the groups or group size yet, it might not be that bad
cave urchin
…
what kind of optimistic gen z are you?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
generations are social constructs, murphy
stop limiting yourself within supposed boundaries that society places on us
cave urchin
jasper
you spent three months identifying only as your mbti type
dont lecture me on supposed boundaries and social constructs
MILFer
savage
gaylaxy level brains
Who the fucks says savage anymore?
cave urchin
nathan clearly.
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
savage
MILFer
go float yourself
gaylaxy level brains
I have no idea if you’re listening or not, Murphy, but Pike is announcing the groups rn
[11:25]
Raven Reyes has created SPACE SQUAD with Bellamy Blake, Emori D’Oliveira, Echo Teles, John Murphy, Monty Green, and Harper McIntyre
Bellamy Blake
space squad?
really
Raven Reyes
astrophysics project
therefore
SPACE SQUAD
Raven Reyes has set her nickname to memelord
John Murphy
im not worshipping at your altar of memes
who made you a god
Bellamy Blake
^^^^
Raven Reyes
fine.
memelord has set her nickname to democratically elected meme representative
Bellamy Blake
what was democratic about that?????
Monty Green has set the nickname of John Murphy to Jehovah’s Potato
Jehovah’s Potato
monty istg
Jehovah’s Potato has set the nickname of Monty Green to lets get this astrobread
lets get this astrobread
We’re still doing this? We’re still doing the bread thing?
Jehovah’s Potato
you still want the bread?
lets get this astrobread
I never wanted the bread
Jehovah’s Potato
then why did you tell us to get the bread?
Echo Teles
why are you so obsessed with bread
Jehovah’s Potato
woah calm down there javert
democratically elected meme representative
im confused but
democratically elected meme representative has set the nickname of Echo Teles to woah calm down there javert
lets get this astrobread
One, that doesn’t even really make sense, Murphy. Smh fake fan.
Two, you’re cheating on Will and Tim rn
Jehovah’s Potato
go float yourself
Harper McIntyre
this entire exchange is in english and yet i feel like im reading in a foreign language.
Bellamy Blake
thats uncannily accurate
democratically elected meme representative
whos tim????????
lets get this astrobread
He’s from Athens
Jehovah’s Potato
monty istg
ik where you live
lets get this astrobread
Jokes on you, my moms making us watch anti-flat-earth documentaries tonight.
Emori D’Oliveira
Your moms making you do what?
Jehovah’s Potato
watch anti-flat-earth documentaries keep up
montys secretly a flat-earther, him and jasper started a cult
lets get this astrobread
I swear to fuck Murphy
Don’t test me
I have so much shit on you that’s actually true
Plus Jasper’s not a flat-earther, he’s a boomerang-earther
democratically elected meme representative
“boomergang-earther”
also what shit do you have on murphy
Jehovah’s Potato
dont think about it monty
ill send your mom screenshots of the porn parody of a sixties boyband
woah calm down there javert
did i miss something
is this meant to make sense
democratically elected meme representative
i wanna know what a porn parody of a sixties boyband looks like
send me the screenshots
Bellamy Blake
are we all just gonna skip past “boomerang-earther”
like no further comment at all?
BOOMERANG-EARTHER
Jehovah’s Potato
calm down dude, no need to go from meme to extreme
democratically elected meme representative
asfjgjkjevfkrfkvfnnd meme to extreme
murphy youre my new favorite person
democratically elected meme representative set the nickname of Bellamy Blake to meme to extreme
Harper McIntyre
we should do our project on boomerang earth to piss pike off
like make it good and shit but so fucking inaccurate that his head explodes and we dont have to have his lessons anymore
Jehovah’s Potato
woah harper tell us how you really feel
but seriously
does anyone actually like pike
or are we all part of the pike hate squad
democratically elected meme representative
youre actually killing me
pike hate squad
lets get this astrobread has set the nickname of Harper McIntyre to PIKE HATE SQUAD
Emori D’Oliveira
he doesnt believe pluto is a planet
lets get this astrobread
BLASPHEMY
democratically elected meme representative
BITCH
PLUTO IS A PLANET FIGHT ME PIKE
Emori D’Oliveira
VIVA LA PLUTO
lets get this astrobread has set the nickname of Emori D’Oliveira to VIVA LA PLUTO
woah calm down javert
now that weve all got nicknames, can we choose a topic for the project
i have football practice in ten minutes
Jehovah’s Potato
woah calm up there javert
lets get this astrobread
“calm up”
Jehovah’s Potato
go float yourself mr i need to correct everything
mr i need to make sure francis galton is portrayed correctly
mr overcorrect everything yet has an existential crisis at 8 in the morning
well guess what monty?
last night
i overcorrected your mom
lets get this astrobread
My mom hates you.
Jehovah’s Astrobread
ik
but not more than my own mom hates me so ya know
lets get this astrobread
If I have to postpone my existential crisis until three in the afternoon, you need to postpone your traumatic jokes until at least four.
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao fair
PIKE HATE SQUAD
i genuinely feel like im reading in a foreign language rn
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao fair
THE FLOATY BOIS
[11:58]
cave urchin
you know
bellamy blake is kinda cute
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
cute like in a be my valentine way
or cute like in a fuck me up daddy way
gaylaxy level brain
Jasper
WHY
cave urchin
a mixture of both kind of
MILFer
and you say youre not a twink
cave urchin
fuck you miller
youre the one who gets hit on in every gay bar ever
MILFer
yeah but thats because im cute
you have a weird nose
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece
i mean
not to disagree
but twinks get hit on in gay bars
gaylaxy level brain
Jasper
Stop encouraging this
I refuse to be part of a repeat of the Great Twink War of 2016
cave urchin
thank you jasper
also, my weird nose is the reason im not a twink
twinks are cute
MILFer
they dont have to be
they just have to be really good at sucking dick
gaylaxy level brain
I hate you all
cave urchin
is that why bryans dating you?
MILFer
okay but fuck you in particular murphy
cave urchin
lmao
dont think bryan would be cool with that
dont want to upset daddy, do you?
gaylaxy level brain
WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU PEOPLE?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
this would be super awkward if bryan and miller actually had a daddy kink
gaylaxy level brain
Stop making me imagine my friend having a daddy kink
MILFer
jonathon
would you call bellamy daddy
cave urchin
i mean
if he asked me to
i wouldnt be opposed
id probably hate it but if it gets me laid
gaylaxy level brain
Murphy
Please stop
We have to do a group project with him
I do not need to imagine you calling him Daddy while we work on astrophysics
MILFer
lmao
MILFer has set the group chat name to the b in lgbt stands for (daddy) blake
gaylaxy level brain
I’m so fucking done
cave urchin
excuse me
this is babadook erasure
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
maybe the babadook likes to be called daddy sometimes
you dont know his life
cave urchin
babadaddy if you will
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
omg
gaylaxy level brain
I hate you so fucking much
MILFer has set the group chat name to the b in lgbt stands for babadaddy
gaylaxy level brain
Miller no
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
miller yes
gaylaxy level brain has set the group chat name to babafuck off
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
omg
also
we havent actually talked about murphys crush on bellamy blake
cave urchin
i dont have a crush on bellamy
i just kinda wanna suck his dick a little
MILFer
does the little refer to how much youd suck his dick or your desire to do so
gaylaxy level brain
Why does every conversation we have end up like this?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
because we have no choice
free will is an illusion
our fates are sealed
cave urchin
lmao calm down francis
MILFer
yeah calm down ajax
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
you calm down
comic geek man
cave urchin
comic geek man is my favorite superhero
gaylaxy level brain
na na na na na na na comic geek man
Also
We still going Wendy’s for lunch?
Me and Murphy are outside your classroom, Jasper
MILFer
why not mine
am i not good enough for you
cave urchin
calm down comic geek man
youre on the other side of this giant ass school
come to us
MILFer
bitch
omw
cave urchin has set the nickname of MILFer to comic geek man
comic geek man
bitch ass floater
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
FLOATERS WILL SURVIVE
cave urchin
calm the fuck down deucalion
gaylaxy level brain
You know
For someone who acts like he doesn’t give a fuck
You’re such a fucking nerd, Murphy
Literally anyone else would have made a Noah’s Ark joke not a fucking flood from Greek mythology joke
cave urchin
literally anyone else is a bitch then
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
rude
also
miller hurry up
comic geek man
im queer
im nearly here
and i want beer
but ill settle for wendys
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
hurrrrrry
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[13:41]
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
you know
i said that jasper was weird
but monty is really fucking weird as well
and his friend murphy is the weirdest fucking person ever im adopting him
Bob Roctavia
if youre both underage, isnt it kidnapping
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
shhhhh
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
boomerang-earth
the happy tree
boomerang-earth?
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
boomerang-earth
Bob Roctavia
boomerang-earth will not be your always with my boyfriend bellamy
gaygent
wtf is boomerang-earth
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
jaspers not a flat-earther, hes a boomerang-earther
gaygent
wtf is a boomerang-earther
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
we never found out
murphy called bellamy meme to extreme and then we got distracted by how much we all hate pike
fBI
asjfghfdgnvskvj
meme to extreme
can i adopt murphy too
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
calm up there javert was 100% funnier but go off i guess
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
this is last night i overcorrected your mom erasure and i wont stand for it
Bob Roctavia
is this guy just a walking meme
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yes
gaygent
is he cute
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
youre a lesbian with a girlfriend, lexa
but yes
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
but in like a lizard kind of way
the happy tree
“in like a lizard kind of way”
fBI
are we all just gonna ignore the fact that ma boi bearllamy just admitted he finds lizard-looking cutie cute
the happy tree
“lizard-looking cutie cute”
fBI
fuk you lincoln
the happy tree
“ma boi bearllamy”
fBI
fuk you lincoln
but
seriously
bellamy just admitted he found someone cute
are we just ignoring that
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
please do
Bob Roctavia
i ship it
gaygent
MURPHAMY
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
please stop
the happy tree
they never stop bellamy
fBI
MURPHY AND BELLAMY SITTING IN A TREE
Bob Roctavia
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
DOING SOMETHING THEY SHOULDNT BE
gaygent
IT STARTS WITH S
Bob Roctavia
okay but please stop now
fBI
AND ENDS WITH X
Bob Roctavia
thats my brother
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
OH MY GOD THEYRE HAVING SEX
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i fucking hate you all
Bob Roctavia
wow mood
the happy tree
have you guys ever stopped ever
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no
no they havent lincoln
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
youre a bitch bellamy blake
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
fuck you raven
youre not my democratically elected meme representative
gaygent
hey clarke
your friends are weird
fBI
ik
ill introduce you to wells eventually
hes vaguely normal
the happy tree
the implication that im less normal than clarke is offensive
fBI
youre a tree lincoln
stfu
Bob Roctavia
that implies im fucking a tree
im not
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
but do you climb lincoln like a tree
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i hate this gc so fucking much
do we have to talk about their sex life
gaygent
i agree
theyre a straight couple
we should talk about me and clarkes sex life instead
its much more interesting
Bob Roctavia
BITCH
fBI
ily babe
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i hate you all
fBI
just because youre not getting it in with murphy doesnt mean you can be bitter about me and lexas explosive sex life
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
clarke
please stop
fBI
i will never stop
Our Lord and Savior Mechanicklemore
clarke said GAY RIGHTS
side note, theres a cute girl in my class and were about to do a paired projects so imma ignore you losers so i can flirt with her
the happy tree
wow tell us how you really feel raven
fBI
i think bellamy should be this direct with his little lizard lover
the happy tree
“little lizard lover”
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i literally said he was cute and literally nothing else
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
dw bell, your secret is safe with us
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
genuinely fuck you all
the happy tree
fair
babafuck off
[18:04]
cave urchin
hey monty?
gaylaxy level brain
Yeah?
cave urchin
the fuck did we choose this topic
i did not sign up to do biology during this physics project
gaylaxy level brain
Well
You did
Plus, isn’t it more interesting to debate the potential existence of life on a moon than to analyse moon rock?
cave urchin
it was until i had to do biology
gaylaxy level brain
Just pretend you don’t get any of it and get Bellamy to do it all
comic geek man
wait
youre working with your daddy on this?
youre a lucky twink
cave urchin
miller
fuck you
comic geek man
float yourself bitch man
cave urchin
bitch man is my favorite superman
gaylaxy level brain
Do you guys ever stop?
[23:47]
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
guys
if you take a rock from the moon
and put it on earth
and have sex on top of it
did you have sex on the moon
gaylaxy level brain
Jasper
What the fuck?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
it’s a genuine question
cave urchin
its debatable
there was an intern at nasa who stole moon rock in 2002 and had sex with his girlfriend amongst them on the bed
his name was thad
comic geek man
youre genuinely such a fucking nerd murphy wtf
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
thad is life goals
cave urchin
thad was straight
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
nm
comic geek man
“thad was straight”
is thad no longer straight or is he dead
did nasa kill him??????????
NASA CONSPIRACY
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
nasa did 9/11
gaylaxy level brain
We’re all going to hell.
cave urchin
yeah
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
SPACE SQUAD
[01:03]
democratically elected meme representative
yo
has anyone done the homework
meme to extreme
“yo”
democratically elected meme representative
youre a bitch bellamy blake
PIKE HATE SQUAD
its 1am
why are you asking this now
lets get this astrobread
^^^
Jehovah’s Potato
the fuck are you awake rn monty
you have the sleep schedule of my grandma
lets get this astrobread
Your Grandma’s dead
Jehovah’s Potato
and yet you still have a healthier sleep schedule than her
meme to extreme
how did you manage to make “you have a healthy sleep schedule” an insult through text
lets get this astrobread
Because that’s his only talent
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao true
democratically elected meme representative
not that im not here for this dragging of murphy
but seriousy
has anyone done the homework
meme to extreme
why did you wait until the night before its due to ask
democratically elected meme representative
stfu bearllamy
has anyone done it
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao no
who does homework
lets get this astrobread
Hey Murphy
Do you remember that time you wrote an extra ten pages for an essay in your English class?
Jehovah’s Potato
hey monty
why dont you stfu
lets get this astrobread
Make me
Jehovah’s Potato
do you want me to text jasper and ask him if the sun is flat
because i will
lets get this astrobread
Miller would kill you if you did
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao whats that useless emo dullard gonna do
panic the disco at me?
democratically elected meme representative
you guys are the worst
lets get this astrobread
That’s fair
babafuck off
[01:13]
cave urchin
hey jasper
is the sun flat
gaylaxy level brain
Murphy
I will purposefully fail this physics project
cave urchin
no you wont
youre not gonna risk your mom making you watch a documentary on the importance of group projects
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
the sun is made of fire
fire cant be flat
comic geek man
since when are you a fire expert
what even is fire anyway
like solid liquid or gas
cave urchin
i reckon its definitely a solid liquid
like such a solid liquid
comic geek man
go float urself
cave urchin
whos urself
comic geek man
youre literally the worst person
also
physics nerds
is fire a solid, liquid or gas
gaylaxy level brain
It’s a chemical reaction more than anything
But I think you’d probably class it as a gas
comic geek man
so the sun is just a ball of gas in the sky?
gaylaxy level brain
Pretty much yeah
cave urchin
excuse me
we havent established that the sun is round yet
@“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
a gas cannot inherently be in the shape of a ball so therefore, the sun is not round
comic geek man
so the sun is neither flat nor round????
gaylaxy level brain
What if that gas is affected by gravity though Jasper?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
dont be silly monty
gravity doesnt exist
cave urchin
asfjfjdfsiopsf jasper what
comic geek man
new hot take: gravity doesnt exist
gaylaxy level brain
Jasper
Please
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
monty, my pal, my friend, listen to this widosm
cave urchin
i already love this
gaylaxy level brain
I don’t
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
in science, you use the hypothetico-deductive model. you dont try to prove your theory, you try to disprove it. if you cant disprove it, you accept your theory to be true. we cant accept gravity as real because airplanes and birds exist.
comic geek man
you know
that logic is solid
cave urchin
is it solid liquid tho
comic geek man
fuck you jonathon
gaylaxy level brain
It’s not solid logic or solid liquid logic though?
Laws of aviation exist for a reason
cave urchin
monty no
comic geek man
hoe dont do it
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
according to all known laws of aviation
there is no way that a bee should be able to fly
comic geek man
fuck
“my immortal is a literary masterepiece”
its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground
cave urchin
this is you fault monty
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
the bee
of course
flies anyways
because bees dont care what humans think is impossible
side note
the bee movie is evidence that gravity doesnt exist
gaylaxy level brain
Why do I even bother???????
cave urchin
jasper
do you genuinely know the bee movie off the top of your head
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
you dont?
gaylaxy level brain
@death
Take me now
Please
cave urchin
mood tho
comic geek man
this here?
this is why all of yall are single
cave urchin
nope
its because were not twinks
comic geek man
BITCH
gaylaxy level brain
Do you ever stop
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
guys come on
lets be real
every single of one of us
ALL OF US
is a twink
comic geek man
you know what?
cave urchin
lmao okay gravity denier
comic geek man
ill accept that
gaylaxy level brain
Hi, this is Monty’s Mother. It’s highly inappropriate for you boys to be texting at this time at night. It is a school night and it’s imperative that every teenager has a healthy amount of sleep which is at least eight hours at night. I’d advise you to put your phones down now and go to sleep. I don’t want to have to inform your parents of this.
comic geek man
im sorry mrs green
gaylaxy level brain
Thank you, Mr Miller
Goodnight
[07:37]
gaylaxy level brain
Omfg I’m sorry
Genuinely did not think she’d do that.
[08:12]
cave urchin
lmao dw monty
tell your mom that insomnia dont wait for nobody
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece” sent [attachment stopgetsomehelp.jpeg]
cave urchin
lmao fair
Eat a cracker and stop
[09:17]
Dramatique Mechanique
octagon
your brother is a dick
An Outdated Meme
why
Le Princess
what did the bear do this tiem
An Outdated Meme
pls dont call him thatmy brain does not need the connotations
Dramatique Mechanique
he refuses to help me with my physics hw
its due in like half an hour
To: Bearllamy
Clarke Griffin
[09:19]
youre a bitch beallmy blake
Bearllamy
im not even going to ask
Eat a cracker and stop
[09:20]
Le Princess sent [attachment screenshot27.png]
Dramatique Mechanique
he doesnt need to ask! he knows!
An Outdated Meme
@Dramatique Mechanique did he refuse to help you or refuse to let you copy his answers
Dramatique Mechanique
im not taking any further questions
An Outdated Meme
lmao i agree with bell then
Le Princess
how rude
Dramatique Mechanique
what is this blasphemy
this is some oedipus shit right here
Le Princess
savage
An Outdated Meme
…you know that oedipus is specifically mother-son right?bells my brother not my son
Dramatique Mechanique
wut
is it not just family thing
what
whats it called when its father-daughter then
An Outdated Meme
elektra complex
Dramatique Mechanique
wow
Le Princess
you learn something new everyday
An Outdated Meme sent [Attachment youtried.png]
Dramatique Mechanique
bitch
Dramatique Mechanique set the group chat name to You’re a bitch Octavia Blake
An Outdated Meme
…
Le Princess
raven really out here giving us cinematic parallels
Dramatique Mechanique
i gochu babe :*
To John Murphy
Bellamy Blake
[17:01]
Hey
I was thinking we should organise a time to work on the project?
[17:17]
John Murphy
that sounds goodim free like any time pretty muchcant do it at my place tho, my foster parents dont like us having people round
Bellamy Blake
Okay
We could do tomorrow after school? Meet in the library?
John Murphy
thats cool
Bellamy Blake
see you tomorrow then
John Murphy
its a date
babafuck off
[17:23]
cave urchin
guys
i fUCKED up
comic geek man
lmao what did you do
cave urchin
me and bellamy were organising a time to work on the project and after spending like twenty seconds deciding whether or not saying “having friends round” was too forward, i fucking put “its a date then”
comic geek man
and you say youre not a twink
cave urchin
fuck you miller
im having a crisis and youre no help
comic geek man
murphyyoure just a dramatic gay, dw youll be fine in like ten minutesno need to panic at the disco
[17:39]
cave urchin
i hate you
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
babafuck off
[07:41]
comic geek man
yo my beets, how is everyone doing this fine ass morning
cave urchin
part of me doesnt want to reply at all because of how you started that sentence
gaylaxy level brain
That’s a mood.
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
yeehaw my root, i want to fling myself off a cliff!!
cave urchin
this chat gets worse and worse everyday@comic geek man why is your message even remotely happyits far too early to be happy
comic geek man
its a fine ass morning i have the right to be happy you dullard
cave urchin
…
gaylaxy level brain
He’s meeting up with Bryan for coffee after school
cave urchin
the reminder that you get to see your boyrfriend later makes you happy in the morning?
thats disgustingly cute
comic geek man
youre just disgustingly single
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
wiat
so both murphy and miller have dates today?
gaylaxy level brain
They do?
cave urchin
no.
wtf are you talking about jasper
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
you and bellamy!
dont tell me you forgot
cave urchin
were working on a project
well be sat there putting together powerpoint slides on what caused life to develop on earth
comic geek man
how romantic
ancient languages is always quiet in the library if you need some privacy if you know what i mean
cave urchin
why
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
youre the one who said you wanted to suck his dick a little
cave urchin
well yeah
but you wait for at least the second study session to put his dick in your mouth
“my immortal is a literary masterepice”
what base is that
gaylaxy level brain
I really don’t need to know when you’re gonna suck Bellamy’s dick, Murphy
Please get your part done though
I’m not failing because you wanted to get in Bellamy’s pants
comic geek man
i love you monty
just feel like i should tell you
cave urchin
what about the rest of us
are we not good enough for your standards
comic geek man
no
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
thats fair
cave urchin
fuck you miller, me and jasper are great
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
were really not tho
cave urchin
i mean
true
but were good enough for miller
comic geek man
source??????
cave urchin
me
youre not good enough for me
hence, inversely
im good enough for you
comic geek man
youre really not but go off i guess
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
lbr here
none of us are good enough for monty
cave urchin
yeah
comic geek man
thats fair
youd have to be like a fucking superhero to be good enough for monty
cave urchin
blessed by at least three gods
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
no one will ever be good enough for our monty
gaylaxy level brain
Thanks?
comic geek man
we love you bae
cave urchin
id normally be like “bae” but its kind of a mood
From Bellamy Blake
[10:33]
We still on for today?
[10:45]
John Murphy
yeah
Bellamy Blake
cool :)
To: Klark
Bellamy Blake
[10:52]
okay so you know that murphy guy
Klark
the lizardly cute one youre destined to marry???
Bellamy Blake
…
yes him
you know how i said he was cute?
i still think hes cute and were working on the project after school today and i still think hes cute
Klark
is the bellamy blake way of saying you have a crush
Bellamy Blake
its not a crush
it could become one though
Klark
do you want it to become one
Bellamy Blake
idk
he seems nice i guess
Klark
youre terrible at this
do you not know your own feelings at all
Bellamy Blake
no
Klark
well
just follow your heart i guess? thats how i ended up with lexa
i dont really know what to say bell. youre smart and you normally make good decisions, im sure if you just follow your instincts you wont fuck up too bad
Bellamy Blake
thanks?
Klark
youre welcome boo
babafuck off
[13:17]
comic geek man
do you think bryan would be annoyed if i asked him to skip class and go out early
cave urchin
theres literally 2 hours and 13 minutes left
youre weak miller
comic geek man
look
my pal
im a simple gay
i need my boyfriend
i havent seen him in a week
cave urchin
a week??!
god how did you survive miller
my heart aches for you
you have my sorrows
theres a bouquet of flowers in the mail for you
im sure i can find a shoulder for you to cry on
comic geek man
i hate you man
gaylaxy level brain
You’ll find ‘a shoulder’
What do you mean? Like just a shoulder or a shoulder with someone attached?
cave urchin
idk mont, whatever miller wants
comic geek man
better friends
gaylaxy level brain
Rude
comic geek man
not you monty, youre great
gaylaxy level brain
Good.
cave urchin
excuse me
what is this
drag me and jasper today?
why arent we good enough friends
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
yeah, float you miller
cave urchin
jasper
youre really not helping our case here
AT LEAST say go float yourself
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
*yeah, go gloat yourself miller
*fleese
fuck
comic geek man
you know
literally no one has answered my question
cave urchin
thats because its a stupid question
bryan would be pissed if you made him cut class
he likes school, remember?
gaylaxy level brain
You’re literally the biggest literary nerd I’ve ever met, but go off I guess
cave urchin
let me have my cool moments, monty
comic geek man
i actually love you guys so much
i need to just tell you, youre all pretty great and i love you
cave urchin
you get so sappy when youre excited to see bryan miller
its kind of disgusting
but i love you too
all of you
gaylaxy level brain
Love you too <3
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
I LOVE YOU ALL
cave urchin
youre so fucking dramatic jasper omg
comic geek man
its why we love him
cave urchin
true
gaylaxy level brain
True
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
JINX
cave urchin
are we still saying jinx? is that still a thing?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
I HAVE NO IDEA
BUT MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK
HELP
I LOOK REALLY PANICKED BUT IM NOT
cave urchin
ashfuhdsfhvhhrhsihhov jasper
comic geek man
i cannot with you jasper
genuinely cannot
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
PLEASE HELP ME HOW DO I STOP THIS
I JUST FEEL ANGRY
IM NOT ANGRY
BUT IM TYPING IN FULL CAPS
cave urchin
this is too funny
gaylaxy level brain
Try holding your caps lock button down?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
HOW WOULD THAT HELP
gaylaxy level brain
Just try it?
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
FINE
oh
it worked
thanks monty
gaylaxy level brain
I been knew Jasper
comic geek man
this is why none of us will ever be good enough for monty
cave urchin
true
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[14:57]
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
raven
why do you keep sending me pictures of lizards
and why do you keep ignoring my texts asking why
the happy tree
ravens doing what now?
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
sending me pictures of lizards
theres so many lizards
where are you finding all these lizards
@Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore please explain
the happy tree
can we ever have a day where we dont have something really weird happening in this gc
like why do i have friends who are like yes i will repeatedtly send lizards to my friend with no explanation
gaygent
because yall are really fucking weird
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
we are
but like
i dont randomly send my friends lizards like some people
gaygent
@Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore please explain
im intrigued now
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
raven
that last one wasnt even a lizard
it was a fucking salamander
get your amphibians away from my reptiles
gaygent
“get your amphibians away from my reptiles”
@fBI your friends are weird
the happy tree
you know, bellamy is one of the only people ik who know that a salamander isnt a reptile
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
ik my reptiles lincoln
gaygent
yall are weird
fBI
that is true@Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore why are you doing this bae
Bob Roctavia
do you ever stoplike im gonna have to turn my phone off so i dont get it confiscated
the happy tree
they dont
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
she just sent me a rainbow lizard
gaygent
lizard said GAY RIGHTS
fBI
GAY LIZARDS! GAY LIZARDS!
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
GAY LIZARDS! GAY LIZARDS!
fBI
RAVENWHY ARE YOU SENDING BELLAMY LIZARDS
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
BECAUSE HES STUDYING WITH MURPHY AFTER SCHOOL TODAY
fBI
MURPHAMY
gaygent
MURPHAMY
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
MURPHAMY
fBI
MURPHAMY
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
…
im just gonna follow octavias example and turn my phone off
STOP SENDING ME LIZARDS RAVEN
[15:34]
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
there are 357 unread messages
90% of them are lizards
why are you like this
the happy tree
i genuinely have no answeri think they used every single google image for these lizards
fBI
i have more lizards to sendi always have more lizards to sendi am the master of lizards
gaygent
wow i cant believe im married to the master of lizardsdoes that make methe mistress of lizards
Bob Roctavia
hey clarkeif you send a lizard to bellamy in the maili will genuinely attack youi live there too
gaygent
you wanna go octagon?ill defend my wife to the death
the happy tree
why are you all so dramatic
fBI
because i have an ABUNDANCE of lizards and im queer
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
^^^im the mechanicklemore of lizards
the happy tree
my eyes hurt from looking at that
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i am so done with the lizards
im waiting for murphy in the library so im gonna ignore you so we can get the project done
fBI
MURPHAMYI SHIP IT
babafuck off
[15:41]
comic geek man
IN LIKE TWO MINUTES I WILL SEE BRYAN
IM SO EXCITED
cave urchin
i hate how cute you arehave fun
gaylaxy level brain
Enjoy! :)
[16:12]
comic geek man
anyone know why bryan might be in a bad mood?
cave urchin
with all due respect, millerbut why would any of us know more about YOUR boyfriends mood than you
comic geek man
idk he just seems grumpy today
he didnt say thanks to the barista in starbucks
which you know
is super weird because he always says thanks
idk he just seems angry
cave urchin
okay yeah thats weird
comic geek man
ik!
he said hes fine when i asked him if he was okay
hes gone to the bathroom twice since we got here 20 minutes ago
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece"
thats really weirdmaybe he just had a bad day?
comic geek man
yeah maybe
idk he seemed almost disappointed when we met up
should i be worried
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
idk dude, before today i always referred to you as relationship goalshes probably just having a bad daywoke up on the wrong side of the bed
comic geek man
youre probably right
@cave urchin distract me
how is your study DATE going
cave urchin
hes still really cutetheres some stubble on his chin and im going to hell for the thoughts in my brain when i look at ithes also like really good at biologyi feel like the toddler hes dragging along on a leash
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
ashfjfdjnkndvfj i love you murphy
comic geek man
wow mood
cave urchin
side notebellamy pulled my chair out for me before we sat downlike full gentlemanit was so weirdim a cave urchin bellamy i dont deserve this gentlemanly behaviour
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
wow get you a man who can do both
cave urchin
whats the other part of the both
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
i have no ideahe just seems to be the kind who could do both
comic geek man
true
cave urchin
fairalso, hes glaring at me so i should probably get off of my phone
comic geek man
wow johnathon murphy succumbing to the pressure of other people
you must really wanna suck this guys dick
cave urchin
…yeah
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
SPACE SQUAD
[09:13]
lets get this astrobread
Do we know who’s doing what in the presentation or do we still need to decide that?
I genuinely can’t remember
democratically elected meme representative
nah we never decided thatwe should do thatseems like a sensible thing to do
meme to extreme
since when do you do sensible things, raven
democratically elected meme representative
excuse me, thats senator raven to you
meme to extreme
oh? not the mechanicklemore of lizards?
democratically elected meme representative
LIZARD SAID GAY RIGHTS
PIKE HATE SQUAD
i thought murphy and monty were meant to be the ones who say confusing things in this chat
Jehovah’s Potato
mood thoughthe gay rights thingbut yeahwe are@lets get this astrobread has jasper changed his opinion on gravity yet or is he still going off his interpretation of the bee movie
PIKE HATE SQUAD
nm then
woah calm down there javert
was any of that sentence meant to make senselike what opinion do you have on gravity? how do you evenand that sentence was like two half sentences forced together
meme to extreme
shes 100% right
lets get this astrobread
No, Murphy he hasn’t.
Jasper still doesn’t believe in gravity.
democratically elected meme representative
asfhgjsjvsjejvjwejvj what?????
lets get this astrobread
And still believes that the bee movie is evidence that gravity doesn’t exist based on the idea that you falsify a scientific theory not verify and the idea that bees fly is therefore enough evidence to suggest that gravity doesn’t exist.
meme to extreme
is jasper okay?
first boomerang earth and now this
Jehovah’s Potato
no.
i dont even need to ask him to answer that
woah calm down there javert
how does that even come up
what conversations are you having
Jehovah’s Potato
i asked him if the sun was flat
he said no because fire cant be flat
meme to extreme
are you aware that your answers just raise more questions
lets get this astrobread
What he’s saying is relevant.
I promise.
Jehovah’s Potato
ANYWAY
the other dude in the group chat, miller the emo dullard asked what fire was and told us “physics nerds” to explain
like was it a solid, liquid, or gas
monty explained that it was a chemical reaction, but you could probably just say it was a gas
so miller asked if the sun was just a big ball of gas in space
so i asked jasper to confirm that the sun was round obvs
and jasper said that fire cant inherently be in any shape so its not
and monty asked if it could be if you take gravity into account
and jasper said
and i quote:
“dont be silly monty, gravity doesnt exist”
and gave his explanation and how birds defy gravity hence it doesnt exist
and montys like LAWS OF AVIATION JASPER NERDY SHIT
and then jasper recited the bee movie script
which isnt even the first time hes done it
lets get this astrobread
At least it was in English this time.
Also Murphy you’re the nerdiest person I’ve ever fucking met, stop pretending you’re cool.
Jehovah’s Ptato
go float yourself
democratically elected meme representative
what do you mean “at least it was in english this time?”
did he send the bee movie in a different language?in emojis?
in gifs?
lets get this astrobread
He sent it in morse code.
Which Murphy knows for some fucking reason.
Jehovah’s Potato
this was on the same day he sent us an edited version of my immortal paragraph one with him as ebony whos a flat earther instead of a vampire.
“im a flat earther but my teeth are gay and white” was a highlight of that day
democratically elected meme representative
he did WHAT
Jehovah’s Potato
literally what i just sent, reread it
meme to extreme
you sent me like four hundred pictures of lizards a few days ago, you really cant talk
Jehovah’s Potato
thats like
the most jasper thing to do
ever
lets get this astrobread
It is
democratically elected meme representative
LIZARD SAID GAY RIGHTS BELLAMY
Jehovah’s Potato
youve said that already
democratically elected meme representative
LIZARD SAID GAY RIGHTS MURPHY
Jehovah’s Potato
not to sound like a hipster but you sound like a broken record
lets get this astrobread
You would 100% be a hipster if you had the money, Murphy stfu
Jehovah’s Potato
but im notim broke af
PIKE HATE SQUAD
are we ever going to get to the point and figure out whos doing what in the presentation or are youre just gonna be really fucking weird for however long
meme to extreme
yeah we should do that
democratically elected meme representative
does anyone actually want to speak in the presentation or should we all just present our own parts or something
PIKE HATE SQUAD
good idea
lets get this astrobread
I’m good with that.
Who’s doing the intro and conclusion though?
democratically elected meme representative
idkis anyone good at public speaking
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao no
lets get this astrobread
We could just all practice our own parts for now then choose after we’ve ran through the whole thing once?
See who’s the best at public speaking after that?
democratically elected meme representative
youre good at ideas monty
we should do that
Jehovah’s Potato
cool
[09:34]
democratically elected meme representative has sent [attachment: LIZARDSAIDGAYRIGHTS.png]
meme to extreme
fuck you raven
[09:51]
Jehovah’s Potato has set the nickname of democratically elected meme representative to a broken record
meme to extreme
^^^
babafuck off
[12:16]
gaylaxy level brain
And today on evidence that Murphy is a complete and utter nerd: signing up for an afterschool film studies class.
comic geek man
seriously?
gaylaxy level brain
Seriously.
comic geek man
murphy my pal
you are such a fucking nerd
cave urchin
yall can go float yourselves
comic geek man
that doesnt mean youre not a nerd
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
i mean
i think that makes him more of a geek than a nerd tbh
cave urchin
…
i Stan one (1) jasper and no one else
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
love you murphy
cave urchin
<3
comic geek man
why are yall so sappy today
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
because we LOVE each other miller
thats why
cave urchin
^^^^
comic geek man
what do you even do in a film studies class
like do you just discuss movies or something
wouldnt that be boring
cave urchin
you like analyse specific movies and stuff
theres some project at the end where you like plan out a movie or something
idk it sounds more interesting than sitting at home avoiding my foster parents
comic geek man
fair
you know if you ever need to get out of the house, you can come to my house if you want
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
or mine
gaylaxy level brain
Mine too
cave urchin
thanks guys
comic geek man
youre still a nerd tho
cave urchin
go float yourself miller
gaylaxy level brain
Also
Bellamy is taking it too
comic geek man
well then
you really wanna suck this guys dick
cave urchin
i mean I do
but the class actually sounds interesting
comic geek man
you get to be a nerd with your crush
cave urchin
its not a crush
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
its a crush
cave urchin
its not a crush
comic geek man
its a crush
cave urchin
its nota crush
comic geek man
ITS A CRUSH
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
i t s
a
c r u s h
cave urchin
i t s
n o t
a
c r u s h
gaylaxy level brain
It’s a crush.
comic geek man
it is official
monty has spoken
cave urchin
…
well i cant argue with monty
comic geek man
MURPHY HAS A CRUSH
MURPHY HAS A CRUSH
cave urchin
go flaot yourself miller
youre a bitch Octavia Blake
[14:51]
Le Princess has set the group chat name to Operation: Murphamy
Dramatique Mechanique
I SUPPORT THIS
An Outdated Meme
im stuck on this train whether or not i support it so i guess i support it
Le Princess
not quite the enthusiasm i was expecting but we can work with it
lets map out what we have right now
Dramatique Mechanique
GOOD PLAN
An Outdated Meme
woah calm down there javert
Le Princess
theyre working on a project together
Dramatique Mechanique sent [attachment: igotthatreference.gif]
Le Princess
bellamy thinks hes cute
and theyre both in that after school film class thing
Dramatique Mechanique
your brother is such a nerd octavia
An Outdated Meme
arent you on some shortlist for a nasa intern thing?
Dramatique Mechanique
yes
yes i am
i didnt say being a nerd was a bad thing
An Outdated Meme
im super proud of you for that btw
Le Princess
me too
youre pretty great raven
Dramatique Mechanique
love you guys
but
lets
FOCUS
MURPHAMY
Le Princess
MURPHAMY
An Outdated Meme
…
MURPHAMY
Dramatique Mechanique
YES OCTAVIA
now
how do we actually get them together
because like
im clearly bad at dating considering docuehfinn
An Outdated Meme
“douchefin”
i love it
also
i feel like its much easier for a guy and a girl to get together
like no ones yelled slurs at me and lincoln when we walk down the streets
i mean like
people are racist as fuck sometimes but theres nothing about our genders
Dramatique Mechanique
fair
clarke
how did you and lexa get together
Le Pricness
uh
i like flirted with her using puns
like really
i think i just got lucky
An Outdated Meme
okay first
no
youre a v cool person clarke, anyone would be lucky to have you
and two
thats really not helpful
Dramatique Mechanique
okay so i have an idea
octagon
how would your mom feel about you and bell having friends round for like a sleepover party thing?
An Outdated Meme
shed hate it
like really really really hate it
she hates us having people round
thats why bell and murphy are working in the library
his foster parents dont like him having friends round and neither does mom
Dramatique Mechanique
well there goes my plan
Le Princess
okay
how about we go away, brainstorm and then reconvene later
An Outdated Meme
that works
sinclair still cool with us meeting up at yours after school, raven?
Dramatique Mechanique
yep
whos turn is it to pay for pizza
Le Princess
lincolns?
An Outdated Meme
cool
Dramatique Mechanique
cool
Le Princess
cool
An Outdated Meme
okay no
were not doing this
not again
Dramatique Mechanique
fair
[15:17]
Le Princess
cool
An Outdated Meme
cLARKE
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[15:37]
fBI
@Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore where r u
i want my pizzzzzza
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
woah calm down there javert
the happy tree
i hope murphy knows something he said in one group chat has become a meme in another
Bob Roctavia
he doesnt
bell should tell him next time they work on the project together
fBI
MURPHAMY
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
are we still doing this
like really
why are you all so invested in this
gaygent
you deserve a cute boyfriend bellamy
even if he looks a little like a lizard
im sure hes beautiful
i have no idea
im a lesbian
but you know
fBI
hes cute
and you do deserve a cute boyfriend bell
i have a cute girlfriend and it makes my life infinitely better
gaygent
love you baby :*
fBI
love you too!!!
the happy tree
so much of this group chat is you two confessing your love to each other
Bob Roctavia
its adorable tho
also
@Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore the fuck are you????
its pizza day
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
you guys have no patience
at all
fBI
stfu bearllamy
i want my pizza!!
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
lmao calm down
im coming now
kane held me back
wanted me to make up that test i missed
the happy tree
are you going to?
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
no
its a stupid multiple choice exam
why would i willingly do that
im already averaging an a in his class
he can miss out on one exam
gaygent
fair
Bob Roctavia
you better be running gurl
i want my pizza and youre my lift home
fBI
plus we cant get into your house without you
i dont think sinclair would phone the police but still
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
were not breaking into sinclairs house
literally none of us are sneaky enough to do that
other than maybe lexa
gaygent
true
clarkes mom still hasnt figured out i sneak into her room like four times a week
Bob Rocatvia
is she still being awkward about you two????
like seriously
fBI
she thinks im too young to date
she had the same problem with finn
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yeah but she let him go round to your house
fBI
and then finn cheated on me with raven
shes overly cautious
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
and you came out way better than him
youve got an awesome girlfriend and hes probably gonna get expelled
fBI
true
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
also im nearly there
like a minute away
Bob Roctavia
PIZZA TIME
babafuck off
[18:03]
gaylaxy level brain
Does anyone want to do something tomorrow because I’m actually dying at home rn
My Mom’s still on the flat earth thing
I get that she just wants the best for me but like please Mom
And my Dad just finds it funny
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
id love to
but i have detention
and my dad grounded me for having detention
cave urchin
wait
when did you get detention
what did you even do
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
there was a controlled reaction in my chemistry class
cave urchin
“controlled reaction”
you blew something up
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
it was a controlled reaction
comic geek man
it was pretty controlled tbf
monroe sent me a shitty portrait video of it
idk how both you and monty ended up taking ap classes and not end up in the same one because that would negate all your blowing things up
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
it would
comic geek man
also
bryan just cancelled one me so im free to do something after school tomorrow
murphy?
cave urchin
the first film study thing is tomorrow but i can swing by after if youre still doing stuff
comic geek man
cool
gaylaxy level brain
Are you and Bryan okay???
He’s never cancelled on you before, has he?
comic geek man
idk man
hes being weird recently
i had to cancel an actual dinner reservation
like it was gonna be a super romantic dinner, id even made a request for there to be a blue rose on the table since its his favorite color
cave urchin
that sucks man
could you ask any of his other friends if they know whats up?
comic geek man
i could
but i dont want to invade his privacy you know?
cave urchin
i get that
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
okay no im skipping detention tomorrow and me and monty are gonna take you to that cool ice cream place and were gonna have loads of fun
and then were gonna come back to montys and were gonna have a high school musical marathon and were gonna order whatever take away you want and well pay not you and murphy will join us when hes done
gaylaxy level brain
I’ll bring popcorn and marshmallows
cave urchin
ill bring cards against humanity when i get there
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
and stories about how cute bellamy is
cave urchin
and stories about bellamy
comic geek man
thanks guys <3
i appreciate you risking more grounding for me jasper
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
its nothing
gotta cheer up my pal
youre way more important than being grounded
cave urchin
i have camp rock dvds
i can bring those
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
yas queen
gaylaxy level brain
You can all sleepover as well
I can get all the extra blankets out of the storage cupboard and we’ll camp out in the living room.
comic geek man
that sounds great
i love you guys
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
we love you too miller
Operation: Murpahmy
[19:37]
Le Princess
bellamy has murphy saved in his phone with a :)
its so cute
An Outdated Meme
bell comes across like hes some tough guy but hes literally the sappiest person ever
Dramatique Mechanique
hes a teddy bearllamy
An Outdated Meme
he really is
Le Princess
do you think he knows were all texting about him
like it probably looks weird that were all texting rn and hes a smart boy, im sure hes figured out were in a gc tgoether
but do you think he knows its about him
Dramatique Mechanique
probably not
why would he think its about him
Le Princess
true
have either of you had any ideas about how to get MURPHAMY to happen
An Outdated Meme
nope
Dramatique Mechanique
me neither
Le Princess
okay then
lets re-reconvene again
An Outdated Meme
raven
do not say cool
[19:56]
Dramatique Mechanique
cool
[20:07]
Dramatique Mechanique
youre really gonna just ignore me????
octagon.
[20:21]
Dramatique Mechanique
well then.
[22:01]
An Outdated Meme
cool.
[22:07]
Dramatique Mechanique
BITCH
SPACE SQUAD
[22:07]
VIVA LA PLUTO
are we really using comic sans as the font
a broken record
comic sans is the best
PIKE HATE SQUAD
were using what now
Jehovah’s Potato
comic sans keep up
PIKE HATE SQUAD
really????
Jehovah’s Potato
yes.
lets get this astrobread
There’s no point in changing it now.
It’s more effort than just leaving it
VIVA LA PLUTO
true.
Jehovah’s Potato
plus comic sans is a good font for dyslexia
idk if anyone in the class has it but you know
a broken record
thats a good point
Jehovah’s Potato
i been knew
a broken record
you been knew
side note
will we ever get an explanation for your nickname murphy
Jehovah’s Potato
monty?
lets get this astrobread
No
Jehovah's Potato
no
a broken record
well then
babafuck off
[23:42]
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
guys
if you could skateboard on saturns rings
how many rockets would you need in order to do it in three days
gaylaxy level brain
What????
What does this mean??????
cave urchin
thats a really specific question
comic geek man
youd need a whole lot of rockets
but yeah
howd you get there
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
well
gaylaxy level brain
I’m already scared.
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
i was googling flat earth and i saw that logan paul got denounced by the flat earth society
which makes me so happy btw that guy is a total douchebagguette
cave urchin
agreed.
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
anyway
his hair is like all flippy
and it made me think of angel wings
which made me think of hermes from like percy Jackson
with the winged trainers
comic geek man
where is tis going
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
and that made me think of skateboarding and also mercury
but mercurys super small and probably too warm to skateboard on
and venus’ warmer because it has an atmosphere
and earth is boring af
and mars is too small
and jupiters just not cool
plus youd get more street cred for skateboarding on saturns rings than jupiters rings
but like
i wouldn’t want to spend more than like 3 days in outerspace rn
hence my question
cave urchin
thats some impeccable logic right there
i cant fault it
gaylaxy level brain
You break my brain on a regular basis Jasper
What even?
comic geek man
it is really really weird
but like
is anyone else just super happy that even the flat earth society denounced logan paul because that guy is such a fucking asshole.
like his “going gay for a month” thing
like no
thats not how it works
you can go have sex with men or whatever for a month logan, but youre not gonna experience what we experience. you dont have to ask yourself if your parents love you unconditionally. you dont have to make backup plans of where youll go in case you get kicked out when you come out. youre not terrified when you hold your boyfriends hand while you walk down the street.
fuck you logan.
cave urchin
it is really such bullshit
like i nearly got moved to anotehr state because my past foster parents turned out to not like the whole queer thing
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
how is even relevant anymore
he looks like a shoe
like he and jake are a pair of unmatching shoes
gaylaxy level brain
Because he does stuff like joining the flat earth society
comic geek man
we should kill him.
cave urchin
i second that
gaylaxy level brain
I third it
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece” has set the group chat name to lets kill (logan paul) tonight
cave urchin
im not even angry at the patd reference
comic geek man
you need to accept your past emo self jonathon.
itll never leave you
ik you still own black eyeliner
cave urchin
go float yourself nathan
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
wait
can we give murphy an emo transformation tomorrow
comic geek man
oh my god yes
cave urchin
oh my god no
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
oh my god yES
cave urchin
no.
gaylaxy level brain
Yes
cave urchin
monty
not you too
comic geek man
its three against one man
youre getting an emo makeover tomorrow
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
EMO MAKEOVER EMO MAKEOVER
gaylaxy level brain
EMO MAKEOVER EMO MAKEOVER
comic geek man
EMO MAKEOVER EMO MAKEOVER
cave urchin
i hate you guys so much
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
lets kill (logan paul) tonight
[03:43]
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
@cave urchin remember to put cah in your bag for tomorrow
cave urchin
…
was this meant to wake me up so id do it or did you just assume i was asleep
also i put it in my bag when i said id bring it
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece” has sent [attachment surejan.png]
cave urchin
well fuck you too
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
alsoik youd be awakeyou never sleep
cave urchin
insomnia dont wait for nobody jasper
ill sleep in kanes class tomorrow
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
do you mean todayits like 3 in the morning
comic geek man
in my heartits
cave urchin
no
comic geek man
nine in the afternoon
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
AND YOUR EYES ARE THE SIZE OF THE MOON
comic geek man
YOU COULD CAUSE YOU CAN SO YOU DO
cave urchin
do you ever stop
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
WERE FEELING SO GOOD
comic geek man
JUST THE WAY THAT WE DO
gaylaxy level brain
Why do you guys always do thisStop with the panic
comic geek man
WHEN I WAS
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
A YOUNG BOY
comic geek man
MY FATEHR
cave urchin
no
also
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
cave urchin
“my fatehr”
comic geek man
TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
cave urchin
“MY FATEHR”
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
HE SAID SON WHEN YOU GROW UP
gaylaxy level brain
LukeI am your fatehr
comic geek man
EXCUSE METHE QUOTE ISno, i am your fatherFAKE FAN
cave urchin
how am i the one who gets called a nerd all the time
when this is happening
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
*no, i am your fatehr
cave urchin
HOW
comic geek man
because you a nerd
cave urchin
stfu emo dullard
gaylaxy level brain set the nickname of comic geek man to
emo dullard
emo dullard
reallyreally
cave urchin
yes.
accept it miller
youll never escape your emo dullardness
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
side noteare we still giving murphy an EMO MAKEOVER
emo dullard
yes
cave urchin
…
gaylaxy level brain
you guys need to bring the eyeliner btw
emo dullard
monty greenare youtelling methat you dontpossesnot even a single oneeyelinernot one?
gaylaxy level brain
Not one
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#moredramaticthantitanic
emo dullard
#stopusinghashtags
cave urchin
#hypocrite
emo dullard
#MURPHYSEMOMAKEOVER
gaylaxy level brain
#stop
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#getsomehelp
emo dullard
#youllnevertakemyhastagsalive
cave urchin
#obamaeyes
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#omg
gaylaxy level brain
#whyarewetalkinginhashtags
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#OBAMAEYES
emo dullard
#showdonttell
cave urchin
#gofloatyourself
gaylaxy level brain
#whyarewelikethis
emo dullard
#becausewehavenochoice
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#calmdownajax
cave urchin
#wasthatalowkeysupernaturalreference
emo dullard
#superwholock5ever
cave urchin
#no
#imgoingtobed
gaylaxy level brain
#mood
[07:51]
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#murphyremembercah
[08:07]
cave urchin
do you have no faith in me whatsoever
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
no
cave urchin
lmao fair
emo dullard
hey murphyremember that time you forgot to bring jaspers birthday present in for an entire week
cave urchin
fuck you miller i was 12
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[08:49]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
hey bearllamy
your lizard is weird
his friend yelled “#SUPERWHOLOCK5EVER” at him down the corridor
and he just yelled “GO FLOAT YOURSELF AJAX” and flipped him off
fBI
wut
dont remind me of superwholock
please
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why did you refer to him as my lizard
thats just really fuckign weird
fBI
he is your lizard tho
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
…
i should just not check this gc
the happy tree
^^^
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
BITCH
[09:09]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
did you guys know macaroni penguins exist
[09:11]
the happy tree
…
[09:16]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
dont ignore me
this is important information
[09:22]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
GUYS
I KNOW YOU READ THIS
BELLAMY
[09:30]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
do we all make the same mistakes
or has one of us gotten it right
or even just a bit less wrong
am i the impasta
[09:34]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
fine
Operation: Murphamy
[09:37]
Dramatique Mechanique
MACARONI PENGUINS
[09:44]
Dramatique Mechanique
why is everyone ignoring me and my penguins
i will pasta away alone
with my penguins
[09:53]
Dramatique Mechanique
i was a penguin composer
and you turned out
to be
a phenomenal impasta
[09:57]
Dramatique Mechanique
PASTA LA VISTA BITCHES
SPACE SQUAD
[10:01]
a broken record
did you guys know that there are macaroni penguins
PIKE HATE SQUAD
what
meme to extreme
why are you so obsessed with these penguins
a broken record
there are PENGUINS named after MACARONI
HOW ARE YOU NOT OBSSESSED
meme to extreme
animals have weird names
biologists are weird
lets get this astrobread
My favorite is the pink fairy armadillo
meme to extreme
theres a salamander called the hellbender
raven sent me a picture of it
amongst 400 lizard pictures
VIVA LA PLUTO
i like the chicken turtle
PIKE HATE SQUAD
hummingbird hawk-moths are cool moths
Jehovah’s Potato
satanic leaf-tailed geckos are the best tho
a broken record
okay but if you look at that gecko
you understand the name
but how
does a PENGUIN
get named after PASTA
penguins arent Italian
meme to extreme
hot take: penguins arent italian
Jehovah’s Potato
macaroni penguins arent named after the pasta
a broken record
macaroni=pasta
macaroni penguin=pasta penguin
meme to extreme
infallible logic
Jehovah’s Potato
macaronism=an 18th century english style to do with flamboyant ornamentation
macaroni=someone with that style
macaroni penguin=a penguin with flamboyant ornamentation
a broken record
WHAT
Jehovah’s Potato sent [attachment penguinwithflamboyantormentation.jpg]
a broken record
there was a fashion movement named after a pasta??????
Jehovah’s Potato
there was some club who wore that kinda shit and ate macaroni which wasnt well known in england then so they were called the macaroni club
PIKE HATE SQUAD
ngl thats a really fucking weird thing to know
a broken record
i cant believe ive been blinded from this knowledge my entire life!!!
i feel cheated
meme to extreme
it is really weird to know that
Jehovah’s Potato
what did you think yankee doodle meant if you didnt know
like he just named his hat after pasta
like hmm my hat is cool ill name it after a food
a broken record
stop making me questioning my entire life murphy
meme to extreme
i dont think ive thought about yankee doodle since i was like six
PIKE HATE SQUAD
yeah i never questioned it when i was a kid and im not gonna question it now
why would i
VIVA LA PLUTO
you guys are weird
lets get this astrobread
When we were like six, Murphy went through a phase of finding the meanings between loads of nursery rhymes
Yankee Doodle was one of them
VIVA LA PLUTO
you guys are really weird
Jehovah’s Potato
i distinctly remember it being you me and jasper doing that but sure act like it was just me
lets get this astrobread sent [attachment surejan.png]
Jehovah’s Potato
go float yourself
a broken record
today
i have been
enlightened
[10:41]
a broken record
what if yankee doodle was a penguin all along
meme to extreme
no.
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[10:43]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
what if yankee doodle was a penguin all along
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no.
the happy tree
im not going to even ask
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
where is everyone else
the happy tree
the maths exam
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
maths exam?
they dont have the same maths class
and the last maths exam was ages ago
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
for us yeah
do you not remember that week when all the maths teachers striked
there were tonnes of maths exams that week
they just rescheduled them all into a massive one
the happy tree
and today was the earliest they could book the gym out
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
oh
Operation: Murphamy
[10:47]
Dramatique Mechanique
sorry for my angry pasta message
kinda forgot about that math exam thing
guess my memory trace was just not stronganoff
lets kill (logan paul) tonight
[11:17]
gaylaxy level brain
How was the maths exam guys?
emo dullard
not terrible
gaylaxy level brain
That’s good!!
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
im preparing for my career as a broke stripper who lives in a cave because he cant even afford a shit apartment
so thats how it went for me
take it as you will
cave urchin
we can share a cave
half the rent
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
perfect
emo dullard
half the rent of what
the cave?
that famous cave rent????
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
yes
you cant just live somewhere for free nathan
thats a terrible way to be a landlord
gaylaxy level brain
Maybe we should just all share a cave and share the cave rent four ways
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
im up for that
cave urchin
same
emo dullard
you guys are weird
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#homophobia
emo dullard
im literally dating a man but go off i guess
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
yeah i have no witty response to that
cave urchin
fair
also jasper
“thats a terrible way to be a landlord”
is there a way to be a landlord and not terrible
like 99% of them are inherently terrible
emo dullard
thats depressingly true
i hate capitalism
gaylaxy level brain
Mood.
cave urchin
same
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
lgbt standards for lets guilltone bourgeoisie tonight
cave urchin
yes.
yes it do.
emo dullard
tag yourself im a guillotine
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
im bourgeoisie tonight
king for a day bitches!!!
cave urchin
this system is inherently flawed considering im appanretly bourgeoisie and im literally the poorest out of all of us
emo dullard
its a prediction of your future
youll get a sugar parent and be a rich spoilt brat
gaylaxy level brain
Yeah but then he can’t be with Bellamy
emo dullard
shit u right
lgbt actually stands for
lets
get down to
business
to defeat the huns
cave urchin
mulan is the true queer movie
shang was clearly a b i s e x u a l
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
and mulan was a gay trans man obvs
gaylaxy level brain
Who’s the lesbian tho
emo dullard
mushu
gaylaxy level brain
Obviously
cave urchin
mushus an ace lesbian
emo dullard
the true queer movie
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
all its missing is a Babadook
cave urchin
a fatal flaw
gayalxy level brain
Its hubris is the Babadook
emo dullard
you know those teachers who confiscate your phone for texting and read the texts out loud to the class?
99% of the time i dont want that to happen with his chat
but gotdamn do i want a teacher to read “its hubris is the Babadook” out loud
it’s a truly iconic statement
cave urchin has set the nickname of gaylaxy level brain to hi my names monty and my hubris is the Babadook
emo dullard
yas queen
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece” has set the nickname of hi my names monty and my hubris is the Babadook to Babadubris
emo dullard
YAS QUEEN
Babadubris
That’s genuinely the funniest fucking thing wtf
Why is it so funny
cave urchin
it sounds like an obscure opera
emo dullard
i would pay actual money to see that opera
cave urchin
actual money
what else would you pay with if not money
is that not how transactions work
emo dullard
cave rocks obvs
cave urchin
of course
“my immortal is a literary masterpiece”
#cashcashcaverocks
cave urchin
asjfjsdbhbsvbjvbjhwfvbhbhjbh
emo dullard
CASH CASH CAVE ROCKS
Babadubris has set the nickname of “my immortal is a literary masterpiece” to cash cash cave rocks
emo dullard
fred flinstones alternate identity as a rap star
cash cash cave rocks
cash cash cave rocks
YABBA BABADUBRIS
cave urchin
asfjdhsvknekvjwevuiwueivuiui i cant omg jasper
Babadrubis
That’s simultaneously the worst and best thing I have ever read in my life
emo dullard has set the group chat name to YABBA BABADUBRIS
Babadubris
You know
I don’t think my Mom can give me a lecture about this one
cave urchin
our gc is effectively now name yabba monty
im here for it
emo dullard
i Stan one (1) yabba monty
Babadubris
And other sentences I didn’t think I’d read today
Also where are we meeting for lunch?
I think Shumway’s about to give us a pop quiz so I probably won’t be able to look at my phone
emo dullard
outside the bio labs?
cave urchin
that works for me
Babadubris
Same
cash cash cave rocks
kool ma dudes
[14:01]
cave urchin
hey monty
why did you tell raven about my nursery rhyme phase
shes in my georgraphy class and she keeps asking me about every nursery rhyme ever
[14:17]
Babadubris
Murphy
You explained how macaroni penguins were named after a historical fashion trend in England and then refrenced Yankee Doodle
What other explanation could you have given
emo dullard
he did what now
cave urchin
she brought up macaroni penguins
she thought they were named after the pasta
emo dullard
you know
most people would think they were named after the pasta
its a logical assumption
cave urchin
its really not but go off i guess
why would you think someone would name a penguin after pasta
like animals named after foods and weird things tend to at least look a bit like that thing
what about a penguin makes you think macaroni
emo dullard
stfu mr logical
Babadubris
Most people don’t put that much effort into thinking about this kind of thing
cave urchin
most people are wrong then
emo dullard
yall are weird murphy
cave urchin
why do you keep referring to me as yall
im not a plural
emo dullard
you are weird tho
cave urchin
okay discount gerard way
emo dullard
EXCUSE ME
im clearly discount pete wentz
cave urchin
okay patrick
emo dullard
BITCH
cave urchin
did you say something brendon
emo dullard
EXCUS-A-ME
cave urchin
woah calm down there frank iero
emo dullard
JONATHON
cave urchin
dude, kellin, are you okay?
emo dullard
JONATHON FUCKING MURPHY
cave urchin
hey monty, did you hear something?
it sounds a bit like hayley williams
emo dullard
okay no im not even upset about that
she is a legend
Babadubris
She really is
cave urchin
shes pretty frekaing great
emo dullard
ill be hayley williams anyday
shes pretty and a good singer
cave urchin
mood
Babadubris
Same tho
[14:43]
cash cash cave rocks
its good to know that hayley williams beauty transcends all sexualities and genders
she is simply a goddess
Babadubris
Obivously
cash cash cave rcosk
can i tweet at her that my gay friend think shes pretty
Babadubris
Is that little creepy???
cave urchin
tell her your gay friend thinks shes a good singer
cash cash cave rocks
is the gay thing not relevant anymore tho
cave urchin
its always relevant jasper
Babadubris
yeah
yeah it is
Babadubris
Wait
You don’t even have Twitter
cash cash cave rocks
i could get it
Babadubris
Just to tweet at Hayley Williams?
emo dullard
jonathan got it just to follow james wan
cave urchin
must you expose me like this
emo dullard
yes.
cash cash cave rocks
whose james wan
Babadubris
He directed Saw
And Insidious
And The Conjuring
cash cash cave rocks
ohhhh
THAT guy
Babadubris
Also
Murphy got it to follow Guillermo del Toro
cave urchin
why do yall care so much about who i follow on twitter
and you follow like the cast of shadowhunters and brooklyn 99 and no one else on twitter miller
emo dullard
theyre good shows, jonathon
cash cash cave rocks
^^^^
Babadubris
Magnus Bane owns my entire heart
cash cash cave rocks
simons cuter tho
Babadubris
Nope
emo dullard
uh as if all of you dont want to have terry jeffords to spoon yall at night
cave urchin
fair
but also
luke from shadowhunters could rip my throat out and id still try to say thank you
emo dullard
also fair
tbh literally everyone in that cast is beautiful other than jace
Babadubris
Jace would be attractive if he would just like
Not talk
cave urchin
yeah
emo dullard
Jonathon would be attractive if he would just like not talk too
cave urchin
yeah
Babadubris
Yeah but who will infodump about macaronism if not Murphy
emo dullard
fair
point retracted
cash cash cave rocks
that was surprisingly civil
emo dullard
what? you dont think we can do civil?
wait
that didnt sound civil
cave urchin
ashufkjdskvj
cash cash cave rocks
well done miller
well fuckin done miller
[15:07]
cash cash cave rocks
we still doing ice cream, hsm marathon and sleepover?
emo dullard
yep
cash cash cave rocks
and emo makeover?
emo dullard
yep
cave urchin
…
cash cash cave rocks
cool
im gonna skip the last twenty minutes so kane cant drag me back for detention
see ya losers not on school ground
emo dullard
cooool
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[15:26]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
hey bearllamy
are you still doing that afterschool film class with lizard boy
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
hey raven
do you still think a penguin species was named after a pasta
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
hey bellamy
fuck off
Bob Roctavia
wait
what else are macaroni penguins named after
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
some obscure style thing from the 1700s in england
Bob Roctavia
what
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
IKR
bearllamys lizard knew all about it
Bob Roctavia
thats weird
fBI
hes perfect for bellamy
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
will this ever stop
ever
gaygent
no
fBI
we will never stop
MURPHAMY 5EVER
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
MURPHAMY
also
you never answered my question
bear man
the happy tree
“bear man”
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yeah
im still doing it
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanickelmore
cool
is lizard boy still doing it
the happy tree
bear man and lizard boy are my favorite comic book duo
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but stfu lincoln
Bob Roctavia
okay but dont insult my boyfriend raven
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but fight me octavia
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
okay but please just stop for just one second of your lives
the happy tree
okay but bellamys right
fBI
okay but we cant stop
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
okay but no
fBI
okay but this is HOMOPHOBIA
the happy tree
okay but youre literally bi
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
okay but my client cant be homophobic, he was on glee
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but asuhvksdkjvnkfndbnbnf
fBI
okay but i love you bellamy
gaygent
okay but EXCUSE ME
fBI
okay but i love you more
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but where are you clarke i want my mcnugget now
Bob Roctavia
okay but youre going to MCDONALDS without ME
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but were doing our monthly ‘we were screwed over by finn’ meeting
Bob Roctavia
okay but fair
the happy tree
okay but why are we still doing this okay but thing
fBI
okay but its fun
okay but ill be there in like five minutes
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanciklemore
okay but okay
the happy tree
okay but “okay but okay”
gaygent
okay but “okay but “okay but okay””
Bob Roctavia
okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but okay”””
fBI
okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but okay””””
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but okay”””””
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but okay”””””” but please stop
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but “okay but okay”””””””” but MCDONALDS
[16:16]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
okay but YOU NEVER ASNWERED MY QUESTION BELLAMY
[16:27]
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yesmurphy is still doing it
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[16:49]
cave urchin
okay but this class is actually pretty interesting
emo dullard
nerdwere on our way to montys house now btw
cave urchin
cool
this lets out in like ten minutes
emo dullard
is bellamy still doing it
cave urchin
yeah
but hes sitting on the other side of the room
cash cash cave rocks
:’(
cave urchin
it didnt really matter tbh
most of it was going over basic film theory stuff
we had a small discussion at the end but eh
theyre organising groups next week depending on what film genre you want to write your short script on
cash cash cave rocks
any chance youll work with him then?????
cave urchin
i feel like hes not the horror movie type
emo dullard
:’(
cave urchin
…
cash cash cave rocks
:’(
[17:13]
cave urchin
@Babadubris im outside
Babadubris
COming
SPACE SQUAD
[20:01]
Jehovah’s Potato
YO
THIS IS JONOTHANS MOST AWESOME FRIEND MILLER
WHO WANTS TO SEE HIS EMO MAKEOVER
a broken record
ME
PIKE HATE SQUAD
surei have nothing else to do
Jehovah’s Potato has sent [attachment: EMOMKAOVER.pn]
a broken record
oh my god
lets get this astrobread
Can I state for the record that I’m currently in the kitchen and didn’t realise Miller would do this so Murphy can’t kill me when he finds out about this?????
PIKE HATE SQUAD
gurl who did that eyelineri need to know how the fuck you did that so well
Jehovah’s Potato
i, nathan miller, did
PIKE HATE SQUAD
teach me your ways
woah calm down there javert
its like an emo version of that james charles meme
Jehovah’s Potato
aioshkfjsdkvbhbhsvjkkjskjfd
a broken record
he looks pretty cute tbhidk anyone who actually suits that kind of emo hair
Jehovah’s Potato
murphys got that face tho
he suits the weird looking things
lets get this astrobread
He’s also going to kill you for this
Jehovah’s Potato
im in possession of hsm3 so unless he wants to have an unfinished hsm marathon, he cant do shit
PIKE HATE SQUAD
you guys are doing emo makeovers during a hsm marathon?
lets get this astrobread
Just MurphyJasper and Miller are already emos
a broken record
are you not getting one monty?????????
VIVA LA PLUTO
what even si this chat
lets get this astrobread
NoThis is all happening at my house and if they try to come near me with that eyeliner, I’m just going to throw them out
meme to extreme
fair
a broken record
what did you use for the lipstickblack lipstick never looks that cool
Jehovah’s Potato
we put black eyeliner
its a good cheiaufbjdsvbhnvvfj
a broken record
what
Jehovah’s Potato
im going to kill miller
a broken record
ashfajdvakds you look great dont worry murphy
Jehovah’s Potato
okay but no i dont
i never look great and i look even worse rn
a broken record
nah you look cute af
lets get this astrobread
MurphyWhy can I hear screamsWhat’s going on
PIKE HATE SQUAD
lmaoyou guys are so freaking weird
lets get this astrobread
MURPHYWho is screaming
Jehovah’s Potato
noone
dont worry about that
a broken record
ashdjskgjkfjndf
lets get this astrobread
MURPHYWHAT WAS THAT CRASHI JUST WANTED TO GET POPCORN
a broken record
oh my god#drama
Jehovah’s Potato
bring the popcorn
everythings fine
meme to extreme
#ravenstop
lets get this astrobread
WHY IS THE COUCH CUSHION IN THE HALL
Jehovah’s Potato
no reason
a broken record
i love this so muchpls tell me more
lets get this astrobread
So the sofa is destroyed and they’re whacking each other with pillowsAnd MCR is written on Miller’s cheek in eyeliner
Jehovah’s Potato
that was jasper not me
a broken record
you guys are actually the best
To: Klark
Bellamy Blake
[20:21]
murphy looks really cute even when with an emo makeover
i think i have a problem
Klark
whatemo makeover????context
Bellamy Blake
his friend miller gave him an emo makeover, sent it to the group project chat and he looks really cute
Klark
do he and his friends are ever chill
Bellamy Blake
no
Klark
so you 100% have a crush
Bellamy Blake
yeah
help
Klark
im so excited for you!!!!!!you two need to get together rn
Bellamy Blake
he probably doesnt like me back
Klark
Bearllamyweve already established that hes queerwhat queer guy doesnt like you
Bellamy Blake
plenty
do you not remember when we went to a gay bar to cheer raven up and lincoln who was pretty visibly dating my sister got hit on more than me
Klark
loads of people asked me for your numberand anywayit doesnt matter how many queer guys like youwe just need murphy to
Bellamy Blake
you literally just made a point based on loads of queer guys liking me??
Klark
shhhhhhdwjust trust me o and raven to get you your cute lizard boyfriend
Bellamy Blake
well
ill just pretend that its not a worrying statement
Klark
:D
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Operation: Murphamy
[23:54]
Dramatique Mechanique
ya know
emo makeover murphy is actually pretty cute
like i keep looking at him and his stupid im-gonna-kill-you facial expression and ya know
hes kinda cute
An Outdated Meme
emo makeover murphy???????????wHATWHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
Le Princess
bearllamy thinks he looks cute like that too
Dramatique Mechanique
wait
WHAT
An Outdated Meme
are yall gonna explain or what
Le Princess
yeah bell text me like help me pls murphys so cute i cantit was so cute
An Outdated Meme
exCUSE ME
Dramatique Mechanique
they are so cute oml
i Stan
An Outdated Meme
AMERICA EXPLAIN
Le Princess
MURPHYS FRIEND GAVE HIM AN EMO MAKEOVER AND ONE OF THEM SENT A PIC OF IT TO THEIR PROJECT GC AND BELLAMY SAW IT AND THINKS HES CUTE LIKE THATIS THAT SUFFICIENT
An Outdated Meme
YESIT IS SUFFICIENT
Dramatique Mechanique
lmao#dramatic
An Outdated Meme
#stfu
Le Princess
#rude
Dramatique Mechanique
#^^^
#okaybutcanwetalkaboutbearllamyfindingemolizardcute
An Outdated Meme
okay but not with hastags
Dramatique Mechanique
fair
also
we really need to sort out the Plan to get the two of them together
Le Princess
okay but firstare we 100% sure murphy likes bellamy back???????????
Dramatique Mechanique
YES
you have not SEEN the way he looks at him when theyre studying together
Le Princess
okayi just think we should be 100% so we dont put him in a super awkward situation a la douchefinn
An Outdated Meme
okay thats fair
Dramatique Mechanique
thats a good point
poor roma
do you think the yt video of her slapping finn is still up
An Outdated Meme
it isone of the guys in my history class was like “FLASHBACK THURSDAY” and was playing it in classtrina delin slapped him hard enough to leave a handprintmrs kane didnt even say anythingshe just carried on teaching
Dramatique Mechanique
we Stan one kane and no one else
definitely one mr kane
one mr kane still wants me to do that one stupid multiple choice question which no one mr kane i shall not
mcfight me one mr kane
Le Princess
ANYWAYwe should check that murphy is 100% into bellamy so we dont have a roma finn situation
An Outdated Meme
we should
Dramatique Mechanique
i can do that
im the only one who actually knows him
so ill take that mission
Le Princess
cooli was thinkingbearllamys and octavias birthday is coming up and we should do a party and invite lizard boy if he definitely likes our bear man
An Outdated Meme
thats a good ideabellamy hasnt really had a birthday party in so longhe always organised stuff for mesaying he didnt like thembut he DESERVES a good partyand hes a liar
Dramatique Mechanique
BIRTHDAY BEAR BIRTHDAY BEAR
Le Princess
im thinkingwells dad owns the city of lightsso im gonna ask him if we can rent it out for a nighthopefully for freeand we can do like a nice meal and then have a partay
An Outdated Meme
make sure they get their hash brownsthey are so wonderful
Dramatique Mechanique
and their milkshakes!!!!!!!
Le Princess
so definitely a good ideaif i can get it, o youve got to get bellamy there for the dayi want it to be a surprise
An Outdated Meme
i can do thatso my mission is to get bellamy there and not tell him
Le Princess
and make sure bellamys in a good outfit
Dramatique Mechanique
he needs to look amazing for murphy
Le Princess
if murphy 100% likes him
Dramatique Mechanique
yes
An Outdated Meme
so me and raven have our missionswhat about you klork
Le Princess
im working on getting bellamys confidence upand showing him what a good date islike im sure a nice night out in that fancy italian place was cool for gina but i feel like murphy is a v different person and would enjoy something elsei reckon hes the kind of guy whod like to go see the lobsters fight in the supermarket
Dramatique Mechanique
yes
i barely know him
but 100% yes
An Outdated Meme
thats such a good date ideai Stan
Le Princess
lexa took me for itshes so great
Dramatique Mechanique
you have the best girlfriend ever im so jealous
An Outdated Meme
so me and lincoln are 100% doing that this weekendthats our plans sorted
Le Princess
i hope you have lobster fun times
Dramatique Mechanique
as fun times as tom hardy
An Outdated Meme
so im definitely not sitting in a lobster tank but ill try
Le Princess
get lincoln toohe likes natureget close to naturesit with the lobsters
Dramatique Mechanique
akjbdbsvhv vjdbfhv bfkdfvsbxk cvdcbxhzvhkdb
An Outdated Meme
woah calm down there javert thats a long keysmash right there
Le Princess
javert would hate keysmashes thoitd be a sign of delinquency
An Outdated Meme
especially since its in response to telling someone to sit in a lobster tank which might be some kind of trespassing or vandalism kind of thing
Dramatique Mechanique
i wanna sit in a lobster tank now
do you think sinclair would buy me one
An Outdated Meme
no
Dramatique Mechanique
well
:/
Le Princess
get one at college
An Outdated Meme
COLLEGE LOBSTERSCOLLEGE LOBSTERS
Dramatique Mechanique
COLLEGE LOBSTERS
COLLEGE LOBSTERS
Le Princess
COLLEGE LOBSTERSCOLLEGE LOBSTERS
An Outdated Meme
side note i Need to sleepso night <3
Le Princess
night <3
Dramatique Mechanique
night!!!
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[11:01]
Babadubris
Do you think my mom would kill me if I majored in astrobiology
cave urchin
probably not?feels more like a bury you alive but with a way to get out kind of thing
emo dullard
thats weirdly specific
cave urchin
yeahmy mom did that oncebut she passed out before she could like refill it so i just got out the basket thing and climbed out
emo dullard
are you okay?????? do we need to talk about that?????
Babadubris
I’m sending hugs
<333333
cave urchin
thanks guys but dw im finemy social worker made me go through a whole lot of therapy for all that shit
emo dullard
well if you need anyone to talk to, you can come to any of us<3
cave urchin
thanksside notethe “war paint” on my arms still hasnt washed offthe fuck did you use
emo dullard
uh
Babadubris
War paint on arms??
When did you do that
emo dullard
when you went to get popcorn
cave urchin
hey nathanwhat did you use on my arms
emo dullard
well
cave urchin
NATHAN
emo dullard
we thought it was permanent markerbut likewe kind of didnt read the label until after and it might take a week or two or three to wash away
cave urchin
nathan
emo dullard
jonathon
cave urchin
NATHAN
emo dullard
im gonna go
Babadubris
Murphy
Don’t kill him
Murder is illegal
cave urchin
dont worry
Babadubris
In fact
Don’t even hurt him
cave urchin
im not gonna hurt himim just gonna bash his brains in
Babadubris
MURPHY
cave urchin
bash them right in
Babadubris
This is Not Good
[11:28]
Babadubris
MURPHY
[11:45]
cash cash cave rocks
cool shining reference bro
[11:58]
emo dullard
#NERDALERT
cave urchin
go float yourself nathan
[12:07]
Babadubris
Well at least no one is dead
Side note
If you’re ever going to like kill each other
Or just fight each other with pillows
Can you not do it at my house
There’s eyeliner in the carpet and I’ve had to google how to get rid of it before my Mom gets back
cave urchin
oooooopssorry montyid offer to help but my foster moms pissed i didnt tell her i was staying at yours
cash cash cave rocks
yeah sorryim still groundedfor longer nowsince i ignored it last night
Babadubris
Dw guys
Just please don’t do it again
I did not have an extensive enough emo phase to know how to get eyeliner out of carpets
cash cash cave rocks
yeah i did
cave urchin
*doyoure still in your emo phase jasper
cash cash cave rocks
um ACTUALLYi think youll find im actually in my flat earth phase
cave urchin
asufhshdbvbhjsfv no
To: John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
Raven Reyes
[13:22]
hey dude
this is kinda weird but can you get miller to give me makeup tips because his eyeliner is actually really good
[13:48]
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
sure?is there anything like specific you want tips for because idk how you do eyeliner at all tbh so i need specifics if you want specific tips
Raven Reyes
you should learn tbh
it suits you
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
it really doesnt but go off i guess
Raven Reyes
nah you look cute murphy
listen my dude
im friends with a lot of bi guys and gals and you in eyeliner is exactly their type
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
is there any reason youre giving me a pep talk about an emo makeover im never doing again or??????
Raven Reyes
nah
you just look good in eyeliner
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
?
Raven Reyes
also like eyeliner tips from miller
like just general tips?? Idk
im a disaster at eyeliner
and i need to Not so i can stop having to go to bearllamys house to ask him to help
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
ill ask himbellamy doesnt wear eyeliner, does he??
Raven Reyes
nah
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
then why does he know how to do good eyelinerthats a completely unnecessary skill for him to have
Raven Reyes
says the macaroni boy
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
go float yourself pasta penguin
Raven Reyes
he used to do his sisters makeup when they were younger
hes surprisingly good at it
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
why dont you ask him for tips then
Raven Reyes
because hes a bitch
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
so is miller thohes a bitch and i Stan him
Raven Reyes
yeah but i didnt send miller 400 lizard pictures
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
why would you even do thatthats so much effort
Raven Reyes
because i CARE about trolling my friends, murphy
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
clearly not since you sent a hellbender salamander during your figurative lizard stampede
Raven Reyes
how do you know that wasnt on purpose
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
because no one sends a salamander on purposesalamanders arent important for that
Raven Reyes
THIS IS SALAMANDERPHOBIA
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
my client cant be salamanderphobic, he was on planet earth
Raven Reyes
asikjsdvbhrfvhbdfhb
side note
are you and bellamy done with your part of the presentation
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
lmao noits so much more work than i signed up for
Raven Reyes
welcome to physics my pal
it sucks
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
yes it doit really do
[15:27]
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
is it cool if i just give miller your number because i have literally no idea what he sent as tips
To: John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
[15:49]
Raven Reyes
thats polio
WAIT NO
COOLIO NOT POLIO
POLIO IS NOT COOLIO
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
hot take: polio is not cooliomiller has your number so he will give you tips and be an emo and shit
Raven Reyes
coolio my dude
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
*polio my dude
Raven Reyes
youre never gonna let me live that down are you
John Murphy (LIZARD BOY)
(:
SPACE SQUAD
[15:52]
Jehovah’s Potato has set the nickname of a broken record to polio is not coolio
meme to extreme
im not even going to ask
PIKE HATE SQUAD
thats a good ideajust in general in this chat
meme to extreme
yeahyeah it is
[16:17]
polio is not coolio
do you think i can work macaroni penguins into the presentation
meme to extreme
no
PIKE HATE SQUAD
yeah how about you just no
polio is not coolio
BUT MACARONI PENGUINS
meme to extreme
NO.
Jehovah’s Potato
macaroni penguins arent italian so dont
polio is not coolio
what kind of wack logic is that
Jehovah’s Potato
its good logic raven
polio is not coolio
oh really??????????????
then explain
explain it
lets get this astrobread
Don’t tempt himHe’ll manage
polio is not coolio
explain it!
Jehovah’s Potato
so were doing it about a moon of jupiter and jupiter is the roman equivalent of zeus and rome is in italy so if macaroni penguins were from italy, it may be relevant, but because theyre not, theres not reason to include macaroni penguins over any other species of penguin, therefore it is not relevant
polio is not coolio
i
lets get this astrobread
Told you
polio is not coolio
am
meme to extreme
this is an activity into futility and yet its weirdly entertaining
polio is not coolio
defeated
you have defeated me murphy
Jehovah’s Potato
(:
lets get this astrobread
Told you he would
polio is not coolio
what are you? his cheerleader?
lets get this astrobread
No
I just know how to recognise a lost battle before its begun
polio is not Coolio
rude
lets get this astrobread
(:
To: that Miller dude
[17:09]
Raven Reyes
so i lied about needing makeup tips
what i really need to know is
does murphy are gay for bellamy
[17:44]
that Miller dude
murphy are bi for bellamy
murphy are very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very bi for bellamy
does bellamy are bi for murphy
Raven Reyes
yas kween
bellamy are bi for murphy
that Miller dude
cool
Raven Reyes
cool
that Miller dude
cool
Raven Reyes
cool
Operation: Murphamy
[17:49]
Dramatique Mechanique has sent [attachment screenshot391.png]
Dramatique Mechanique
MURPHY ARE BI FOR BEARLLAMY
Le Princess
MURPHAMY
MURPHAMY
MURPHAMY
Dramatique Mechanique
MURPHAMY
MURPHAMY
An Outdated Meme
phase one: completed
operation murphamy is officially underway
Dramatique Mechanique
MURPHAMY
Le Princess
MURPHAMY
An Outdated Meme
MURPHAMY
[19:01]
An Outdated Meme
lincoln wont sit in the lobster tank
:’(
Le Princess
BITCH
youre a bitch bellamy blake
[19:02]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
ABRAHAM
WHY YOU NO SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
fBI
SIT
WITH
THE
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
im not even going to ask
fBI
LOBSTERS
Bob Roctavia
@the happy tree
gaygent
i have no idea what this is about but SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS LINCOLN
i support my girlfriend
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
Bob Roctavia
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
the happy tree
im not sitting with the lobsters
fBI
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i support lincolns right to not sit with with the lobsters
gaygent
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
whatever sitting with the lobsters means
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
the happy tree
im not climbing into a lobster tank and sitting in it
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
okay but what the fuck
Bob Roctavia
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
the happy tree
YOU SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
fBI
YOU ARE THE HAPPY TREE
ONE WITH NATURE
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
gaygent
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
Bob Roctavia
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why are we peer pressuring lincoln to sit with the lobsters
fBI
ONE WITH NATURE
SIT WITH LOBSTERS
the happy tree
IM NOT SITTING WITH THE LOBSTERS
gaygent
SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS LINCOLN
the happy tree
NO
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
Bob Roctavia
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
Bob Roctavia
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
fBI
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i feel like im in a demented pantomime about lobsters
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
gaygent
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
Bob Roctavia
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO
fBI
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
I WILL NOT SIT WITH THE LOBSTERS NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU YELL THE WORD LOBSTER
I AM NOT EDDIE BROCK
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
the happy tree
NO LOBSTERS NO
I AM NOT GOING TO CLIMB INTO A LOBSTER TANK AND SIT DOWN BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY WEIRD AND I DON’T WANT TO GET BANNED FROM A FUCKING WALLMART
NO
gaygent
our wallmart has a lobster tank?
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no
they went a town over to watch fighting lobsters
fBI
the one you took me to babe :*
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
Bob Roctavia
Lincoln has left the Wallmart
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
RUDE
fBI
BITCH
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
fBI has set the group chat name to LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
are we just like
a lobster cult now
fBI
yes
yes we are
THE ULTIMATE LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
…
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
have you ever been chill in your life
fBI
LOBSTERS
To: that Miller dude
[19:19]
Raven Reyes
tell murphy that bellamy doesnt like lobsters
that Miller dude
i shall do so
thank you my liege
Raven Reyes
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[19:27]
emo dullard
lobsters kinda suck dont they
cash cash cave rocks
not really but everyones entitled to their own opinions
emo dullard
fair
Babadubris
Context??
emo dullard
theres no context
i was just thinking about how much i dont like lobsters
Babadubris
Well okay then
cave urchin
lobsters are just overdramatic crabs who arent cool enough to be scoprions
emo dullard
YES
YES THEY DO
Babadubris
I am so confused
cash cash cave rocks
i am the literal embodiment of a lobster
Babadubris
Isn’t a lobster the literal embodiment of a lobster????
cash cash cave rocks
shit u right
i wanna be a lobster
emo dullard
you really dont tho
cash cash cave rocks
shit u right
Babadubris
Can someone explain to me what the actual fuck is happening
emo dullard
enlightenment is happening monty
enlightenment
cave urchin
enlobsterment
Babadubris
Well okay then
To: Raven (?)
[19:41]
Nathan Miller
murphy does not like the lobster
Nathan Miller has sent [attachment screenshot34.png]
Raven (?)
YAS QUEEN
To: BEARMAN
[19:43]
Raven Reyes
yo
do you like lobsters
[19:51]
Raven Reyes
I KNOW YOU READ THIS BEARLLAMY
WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON LOBSTERS
BEARMAN
I WAS NEUTRAL ON THEM UNTIL YOU STARTED A DEMENTED LOBSTER CULT
I NOW DISLIKE THEM
PLEASE STOP NOW
Operation: Murphamy
[19:57]
Dramatique Mechanique
our bear man and lizard boy have the same opinion on lobsters
D E S T I N Y
Dramatique Mechanique has sent [attachment screenshot392.png] and [attachment screenshot393.png]
Le Princess
MURPHAMY
Dramatique Mechanique
the lobsters will bring us the destined murphamy
Le Princess
that they will
Dramatique Mechanique
that they will
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
SPACE SQUAD
[10:01]
polio is not coolio
hey murphywhy do you have shitty looking fake tattoos on your arms
Jehovah’s Potato
because nathan miller is a little bitch who Needs to learn HOW TO READ
meme to extreme
woah calm down there javert
Jehovah’s Potato
go float yourself
meme to extreme
you go float yourself
Operation: Murphamy
[10:04]
Dramatique Mechanique has sent [attachment screenshot403.png]
Dramatique Mechanique
Bear Man VS Lizard Boy: Sexual Tension Edition
Le Princess
i SHIP them so HARD
Dramatique Mechanique
big mood
SPACE SQUAD
[10:05]
PIKE HATE SQUAD
what does go float yourself mean anyway
lets get this astrobread
It’s a boomerang earth thing, you wouldn’t understand
Jehovah’s Potato
asihfjksdhbhbj
PIKE HATE SQUAD
you know whatfairyou guys make 0 sense normallyyoull make less sense if you start talking about boomerang earth
meme to extreme
did we ever learn what boomerang earth was
PIKE HATE SQUAD
AGAIN
polio is not coolio
we never did bearllamywe never learned the wisdom of boomerang earth
lets get this astrobread
And you never will
Jehovah’s Potato
youll never be part of the earth boomergang
PIKE HATE SQUAD
the wHAT
Jehovah’s Potato
the earth boomergang
polio is not coolio
i wanna be in the earth boomergang
meme to extreme
“earth boomergang”
lets get this astrobread
The Earth Boomergang is not currently taking applicationsPlease check again in a week
polio is not coolio
WHY CANT I BE IN THE EARTH BOOMERGANG
Jehovah’s Potato
ya not polio enough reyes
ya basic
polio is not coolio
eXCUSE ME
meme to agree
i agree with murphy tbhya basic raven
polio is not coolio
EXCUSE ME
Jehovah’s Potato
ya basic
accept it
polio is not coolio
EXCUSE ME
Jehovah’s Potato
youre excused
polio is not coolio
MCFIGHT ME MURPHY
Jehovah’s Potato
mcfighting me wont get you a spot in the earth boomergang my dude
youll never be polio enough
polio is not coolio
yeah because im VAXXED TO THE MAX
PIKE HATE SQUAD
fair
meme to extreme sent [attachment justbecauseshaggydoesntneedvax.jpg]
Jehovah’s Potato
can i state for the record that the only non-vaxxed member of the earth boomergang is shaggy
the earth boomergang endorses vaccinations
VACCINATE YOUR KIDS
polio is not coolio
fuk ushaggys not part of your boomergang
lets get this astrobread
Yes he is
polio is not coolio
yall are yelling me that SHAGGY believes in flat earth
meme to extreme
*boomerang earth
polio is not coolio
yall are telling me that SHAGGY believes in boomerang earth
Jehovah’s Potato
shaggy doesnt believe in anything raven
lets get this astrobread
He doesn’t need toHE KILLED GOD
Jehovah’s Potato
but he KNOWS
HE KNOWS
PIKE HATE SQUAD
i, for one, accept our new boomergang overlords
meme to extreme
i agree
polio is not coolio
i cant believe you claimed SHAGGY for your stupid gang
Jehovah’s Potato
then dont
youll just have to live with the consequences
meme to extreme
thats far more ominous than it has any right to bewell done murphy
polio is not coolio
okay but stfu bellamy
Jehovah’s Potato
okay but why do you keep risking shaggys wrath
dont insult his chosen ones
polio is not coolio
MCFIGHT ME
Jehovah’s Potato
mcfight yourself hornswoggler
PIKE HATE SQUAD
mcwhat now
Operation: Murphamy
[10:19]
Dramatique Mechanique has sent [attachment screenshot404.png]
Dramatique Mechanique
i think this count as flirting, right?????
An Outdated Meme
yesyes it doMURPHAMY
Le Princess
i genuinely want to adopt murphy tho
hes so funny wtf
Dramatique Mechanique
ikrhim and monty in a gc together genuinely kills me
An Outdated Meme
im so happy this is the guy bellamy has decided to have a crush oni 100% approve
Dramatique Mechanique
MURPHAMY
Le Princess
MURPHAMY
An Outdated Meme
MURPHAMY
SPACE SQUAD
[10:36]
VIVA LA PLUTO
everytime i check this gc, you guys get weirder and weirder
[12:01]
woah calm down there javert sent [attachment screenshot11.png]
woah calm down there javert
is anyone actually inviting their parents to this
meme to extreme
no
VIVA LA PLUTO
no
polio is not coolio
me neithersinclair has more important things than watch a bunch of teenagers mess up some physics
PIKE HATE SQUAD
who invites their parents to come watch a physics group projectpike is so weirdhe thinks his class is so much more important than it islike im taking this for my college application and literaly nothing else pikecalm the fuck down dude
lets get this astrobread
Oh god no
Jehovah’s Potato
asfhhdhfds if your mom even heard that she could go, shed 100% come
lets get this astrobread
Which is why she is not going to find out about thisEVER
polio is not coolio
what about you murphyyou inviting your parents???
Jehovah’s Potato
unless a physics presentation is suddenly important enough to get temporary release from prison, probably not
pikes a self righteous asshole but i doubt hes that egotistical that he thinks his projects are THAT important
PIKE HATE SQUAD
i wouldnt put it past him
meme to extreme
yeah no he definitely thinks his projects are that important
polio is not coolio
hey bearllamyremember last year when he tried to take you under his wing and make you his star student
meme to extreme
dont remind methat was so fucking weirdhe tried to convince me to sabotage indras daughters history test so ‘his star student would have better probability of being on the honour roll’i didnt even realise indra had a daughter
PIKE HATE SQUAD
why does he hate indra so muchshes like the one cool teacher
Jehovah’s Potato
probably because of that
PIKE HATE SQUAD
yeah
VIVA LA PLUTO
pike is the actual worst
meme to extreme
yeah he is
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[13:14]
emo dullard
yo dudesare you all up for dennys after school
cash cash cave rocks
did you ask us to go to dennys????even IM better than that miller
emo dullard
fineihop?
Babadubris
*ihob
emo dullard
IHOP?
cave urchin
*IHOB?
emo dullard
why do i even bother with you heathens
cash cash cave rocks
im cool to skip out on grounding for pancakes
Babadubris
*Bancakes
cash cash cave rocks
im cool to skip out on grounding for bancakes
Babadubris
I’m up for bancakes
emo dullard
coolmurphy??
cave urchin
i want bancakes
but my foster mom wants me home as soon as school is over for some meeting thing
emo dullard
you okay???
cave urchin
yeah
my social workers probably visiting or something
idk
ill be fine tho dw
emo dullard
text us if you need any help
cave urchin
will do
Babadubris
Hey MurphyWhy don’t you invite your foster mom to come to Pike’s presentation
cave urchin
lmao okay monty
ill invite nia as soon as you invite your mom
cash cash cave rocks
can i come to your presentationill be your fake foster dad
cave urchin
jasper
you look like youre eternally 11 years old
emo dullard
so do you johnathon
cave urchin
go float yourself nathan
emo dullard
stfu overdramatic crabalsome and jasper are 100% finding a way to watch your presentation
cave urchin
no
i will kill you in your sleep
emo dullard
lmao calm down edward cullen
cash cash cave rocks
well actuallyedward only watched bella in her sleep and never actually killed hershe was like momentarily killed by their childnot edwardyall are a fake fan miller
cave urchin
why do we keep referring to each other as plurals when we are
in fact
singular
Babadubris
Why are we talking about Twilight
cash cash cave rocks sent [attachment jadensmithtweet4.png]
emo dullard
why the fuck do you have a jaden smith tweet ready to send that quick
cash cash cave rocks
why dont you
emo dullard
well:/
cave urchin
because we dont relate to thirteen year olds who think theyre so ,,,,,…deep..
emo dullard
why so many commas man
Babadubris
So Many Commas Man is my favourite superhero
emo dullard
okay but fuck you in particular monty
[13:31]
cave urchin
asfbhdbvsvhbjbhjbhj
emo dullard
whatmy text was not worthy of a keysmashwhat happened?murphy??? monty?????jasper?
cash cash cave rocks
i have no idead dude
cave urchin
pike took montys phone away
and read the texts out loud
like fully read out yabba babadubris
OUT LOUD
cash cash cave rocks
omg
cave urchin
like he read all of our nicknames out
i cant even begin to describe the experience of hearing an adult man say cash cash cave rocks cave urchin emo dullard and babadubris out loud in a neutral yet increasingly more confused tone
he started at lmao calm down edward cullen
emo dullard
asuifdsbjjjdfg
cave urchin
and it just got worse and worse
one of the guys asked pike to do it in voices
i fucking died dude
i think you should get monty extra bancakes after school because hes so embarassed oh my god
cash cash cave rocks
does he know youre cave urchin
cave urchin
it didnt come up
and im gonna not text you other than that update so pike does not find out about that because i cannot do a repeat performance of that
emo dullard
fair
SPACE SQUAD
[13:33]
PIKE HATE SQUAD
montyi love youik you cant read this rn but thank you oml that was great
woah calm down there javert
that was the best thing ive ever seen in my entire life
polio is not coolio
ashisddsjvhauidh i just wowive never seen pike look so angry and yet confused before
meme to extreme
i cant get over him pretending he didnt know who edward cullen wasEVERYONE knows edward cullen is
PIKE HATE SQUAD
are we not gonna talk about yabba babdubriswhat does that even meani Stanwhatever the fuck that was
woah calm down there javert
cash cash cave rocks thoughthe way pike read that justi am now dead
polio is not coolio
cave urchin???thats 100% murphyidc if its notit should be
VIVA LA PLUTO
“so many commas man is my favourite superhero”
meme to extreme
are we not gonna talk about pike attempting to imitate the :/ face
PIKE HATE SQUAD
montymurphyyou guys are the best
polio is not coolio
you really are
[13:59]
Jehovah’s Potato
im am
in fact
cave urchin
polio is not coolio
I KNEW IT
meme to extreme
i mean isnt that obvious from the timonthy from athens
polio is not coolio
wut
Jehovah’s Potato
wow youre a nerd bellamy
polio is not coolio
america EXPLAIN
meme to extreme
its a shakespeare playtimon of athensits about a guy who goes and lives in a cave
Jehovah’s Potato
yeah
youre such a nerd
meme to extreme
so are you
PIKE HATE SQUAD
can we get context for babadubris
cave urchin
babadubris is when your fatal flaw is a lacking Babadook
PIKE HATE SQUAD
wut
polio is not coolio
wow mood
woah calm down there javert
why were you talking about twilight
lets get this astrobread
Because Murphy threatened to kill Miller in his sleep
meme to extreme
any particular reason for that??
Jehovah’s Potato
because hes a little bitch
lets get this astrobread
Miller wanted to sneak in to watch the presentation
meme to extreme
okay the death threat is justified
Jehovah’s Potato
thank you
polio is not coolio
is cash cash cave rocks jasper
lets get this astrobread
Yes
PIKE HATE SQUAD
i love you guys so much
To: BEARMAN
[14:21]
Raven Reyes
youre so in love with murphy its disgustingly cute
[14:41]
BEARMAN
okay im NOT IN LOVE with himhes just really cuteand funnyand smartand yeahbut im not in love with him
Raven Reyes
sure jan
BEARMAN
were not in a disney moviewe met like two weeks ago
Raven Reyes
fair
you two are so cute together
you can nerd out about wouldiwas shookspeared together
and he said you were the chosen one
clearly he bi for you
BEARMAN
“wouldiwas shookspeared”
Raven Reyes
dont bring what i have autosaved to replace words in my phone instead of actually acknowledging my point bear man
BEARMAN
ravenhe said i was the chosen one to insult you using a scooby doo memei dont think thats proof that he likes me
Raven Reyes
he likes you
trust me
aunty raven knows
BEARMAN
never refer to yourself as aunty raven againim begging you
Raven Reyes
FOR MERCY
YEAH YEAH
BEARMAN
no
Raven Reyes
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
To: BEARMAN
[14:57]
Raven Reyes
IM BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
To: BEARMAN
[15:06]
Raven Reyes
YOU GOT ME BEGGING
To: BEARMAN
[15:13]
Raven Reyes
YOU GOT ME BEGGING
To: BEARMAN
[15:21]
Raven Reyes
YOU GOT ME BEGGING
To: BEARMAN
[15:25]
Raven Reyes
MERCY
WHY WON’T YOU RELEASE ME
BEARMAN
STOP SENDING ME DUFFY LYRICS
Raven Reyes
IM BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
LOBSTERS
[15:27]
exit, pursued by a bearllmay
RAVENSTOP SENDING ME DUFFY LYRICS
the happy tree
why does this always happen in this chat
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
I LOVE YOU
BUT I GOTTA STAY TRUE
fBI
MY MORALS GOT ME ON MY KNEES
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no
fBI
IM BEGGING PLEASE
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
STOP PLAYING GAMES
gaygent
I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS ISBUT YOU’VE GOT ME GOOD
fBI
JUST LIKE YOU KNEW YOU WOUUUUULD
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DO
BUT YOU DO IT WELL
fBI
IM UNDER YOUR SPELL
Bob Roctavia
IM UNDER YOUR SPELLYOU GOT ME BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
gaygent
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
the happy tree
release me from this fucking group chat
fBI
YOU GOT ME BEGGING YOU FOR MEEEERCY
Bob Roctavia
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
I SAID RELEASE ME
NOW YOU THINK THAT I WILL BE SOMETHING ON THE SIDE
fBI
BUT YOU GOT TO UNDERSTANDTHAT I NEED A MAN
Bob Roctavia
WHO CAN TAKE MY HAND
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
YES I DO
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i donti really dont
gaygent
I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS ISBUT YOU GOT ME GOOD
Bob Roctavia
JUST LIKE YOU KNEW YOU WOULD
fBI
I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DO
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
BUT YOU DO IT WELL
IM UNDER YOUR SPELL
fBI
YOU GOT ME BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
im begging youplease stop
Bob Roctavia
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
the happy tree
they wont stop bell
gaygent
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE MEYOU GOT ME BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i know lincoln
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i know
fBI
I SAID YOUD BETTER RELEASE ME
gaygent
YEAHYEAHYEAH
Bob Roctavia
YEAHIM BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
gaygent
JUST WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
IM BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
YOU GOT ME BEGGING
fBI
YOU GOT ME BEGGING
gaygent
YOU GOT ME BEGGINGMERCY
Bob Roctavia
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE ME
fBI
okay but this is song is so long wtf
meme to extreme
are you done now
fBI
IM BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
meme to extreme
…
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[17:23]
cave urchin
i cant believe i missed bancakes for a like hour and fifteen minute long conversation just to find out my foster mom is expanding her child quota to get more money
dude theres already like ten of us
i wouldnt have fucking noticed if you added another one
we dont talk to each other
why does this need a longass conversation
i want my bancakes
and instead i get this bullshit
cash cash cave rocks
that sucksill buy you bancakes next time we go to ihob
Babadubris
Are we not going to talk about the use of the phrase “child quota”
cave urchin
it’s the most fitting word
its not like she cares about us
she feeds and houses us
and thats sufficient
cash cash cave rocks
thats what they yelled at the end of shin kicking
Babadubris
At the end of what??
cave urchin
shin kicking
i have no idea what it is but he couldnt have been clearer if he tried
Babadubris
Stfu Mr TechnicaltyWhat is shin kicking
cash cash cave rocks
its a sport in the north of england where they kick each other in the shins until someone gives up and yells sufficient
cave urchin
that sounds like my kind of sport
Babadubris
Why do you even know that Jasper???
cash cash cave rocks
becauseSHIN KICKING
Babadubris
Well okay then
[18:57]
emo dullard
murphy are you actually getting another foster sibiling thenlike are we gonna get a new kid at school
cave urchin
idk
last one was someone who had a scholarship to that school near the lake
the fancy ass one
so she didnt move schools
idk if theyll move anyone to arkadia for our foster house
its pretty shit tbh
emo dullard
ohalsoi still want ihobso can we go again tomorrow
cash cash cave rocks
i want to so badi cant thobecause im still groundedbut you guys should
cave urchin
i want ihob
Babadubris
I’m up for it stillI’m meant to work on my part of the project tomorrow but I just Can Not
emo dullard
cool
cave urchin
cool
To: Murphy’s Daddy’s Friend
[19:08]
Nathan Miller
yo yo yo yo
murphy likes ihop
tell bellamy to take him to ihop for a data at some point
Murphy’s Daddy’s Friend
will domuchas gracias cool dude
Nathan Miller
no
muchas gracias to you
murphy needs more happiness in his life tbh and deserves a cute boyfriend so thanks for doing this
Murphy’s Daddy’s Friend
youre a good friend miller
Nathan Miller
nah
im just being a friend
Murphy’s Daddy’s Friend
still<3send murphy love from melike dont say it was me because its probably weird but ya know
Nathan Miller
ya i know
<3
Murphy’s Daddy’s Friend
<3
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[20:01]
emo dullard
i love you guys a lot btw<3333
cash cash cave rocks
love you too!!!!!
Babadubris
<33333333I love you idiots a lot
emo dullard
<3
[20:47]
cave urchin
<3<3<3
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
237 Elm Street
[21:29]
Niylah Harmon
heads up the new kid is coming from azgeda
Atom Ward
seriously??azgeda?
Niylah Harmon
yep
i just heard nia on the phone with the social worker
Atom Ward
ughthis is gonna suck
[21:58]
Shay Cooper
Since when has Nia took in Azgeda kids??She made it super clear to my social worker that she only accepted “kids from respectable homes”She made such a big deal out of itLike would not shut upSpecficially referenced Azgeda and everything
John Murphy
as ifshe just wanted the money you give her, she doesnt give a fuck where youre from or who you areplus shes from azgedashe grew up there
Shay Cooper
She is?
John Murphy
yeah
Niylah Harmon
shes always talks about it if you get in trouble
some spiel about how good of a life she made herself despite her upbringing
trying to make you feel guilty about not being some miracle kid
John Murphy
what a great life that ishousing kids you hateshe say when the kids moving in??
Niylah Harmon
nope
sounding like itll be soon though
John Murphy
great
Shay Cooper
There was a riot in Azgeda a few weeks ago, wasn’t there?
Atom Ward
theres always a riot in azgeda
John Murphy
i mean yeah but the one two weeks ago was pretty bigapparently some kids ended up in juvie
Atom Ward
where do you hear that
John Murphy
my social worker told me
Atom Ward
why
John Murphy
why do you think atom
Niylah Harmon
do you think the new kid might be one of the kids from the riots
John Murphy
probably
Atom Ward
ugh
YABBA BABADUBRIS
[08:21]
emo dullard
the very nice and pleasant lady in the shop: hi!
murphy, a true wordsmith: no
cave urchin
must you EXPOSE me like this
cash cash cave rocks
asuhfdshdhjsggbjrsji love you murphy
emo dullard
it was so funny oml
he looked so panicked right after
sdbjkdffjerbf
cave urchin
listen
emo dullard
this should be good
cave urchin
i thought she was going to offer me a product or something so i had my automated no response ready to go and she said hi but i didnt have time to process that so i just said no and then realised like shit that was not how human persons greet each otherit was an accident
Babadubris
“human persons”
cave urchin
human persons
Babadubris
Human Persons
cave urchin
h u m a n
p e r s o n s
emo dullard
h
u
m
a
Babadubris
HUMAN PERSONS
emo dullard
n
p
cave urchin
H U M A N
P E R S O N S
emo dullard
e
r
s
cash cash cave rocks
snosrep namuh
o
n
s
snosrep namuh????
cash cash cave rocks
snosrep namuh
cave urchin
snos
emo dullard
snosrep namuh?????????????
cave urchin
repnamuh
cash cash cave rocks
suosɹǝd uɐɯnɥ
Babadubris
What are we even doing???
cave urchin
i have 0 cluesnosrep namuh
cash cash cave rocks
snosrep namuh
emo dullard
snosrep namuh
Babadubris
..snosrep namuh
cash cash cave rocks has set the group chat name to snosrep namuh
emo dullard
i approve
cave urchin
thank god the king of the emos approves
emo dullard
sweaty, im the QUEEN of the emos
cave urchin
did you just use the word sweaty in 2019
emo dullard
maybe i did bitch
watchu gone do bout it
Babadubris
You should definitely not say that to Murphy
cash cash cave rocks
yeah you should just not
emo dullard
whats he gonna do? shake spear at me????
cash cash cave rocks
imma shaking my spear with pride
emo dullard
shakin my spear with the boys
Babadubris
Cause the players gonna play play play play play, and the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate, baby I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake, I shake my spearI shake my spear
emo dullard
shake it real good
cash cash cave rocks
is anyone else spooked that le murphy has not messaged since the threat????
Babadubris
I’m real spooked tbh
emo dullard
dont be spooked
whats he gonna do
Babadubris
I don’t want to know
[09:01]
cash cash cave rocks
i really dont wanna know
[10:23]
cash cash cave rocks
this gc having receipts is the worst because this makes me more spooked
emo dullard
dont be spooked
hes not gonna do anything
[10:39]
emo dullard
murphy
when
did you
FIND THE TIME
to put
COCKROACHES
in my lOCKER
cash cash cave rocks
he did wHAT
emo dullard
he put cockroaches in my locker
or at least im 90% certain it was him
either way
there are cockroaches in my locker
cash cash cave rocks
where did you even get cockroaches
emo dullard
idk man idk
indra wants to caution off the whole corridor because of it tho
cash cash cave rocks
ashdshfbherbjdjhdrbvbverfbbjv i love you murphy
[10:31]
cave urchin
there are cockroaches in the bio lab but im not admitting to anything
LOBSTERS
[10:33]
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
does anyone know why the east corridor is blocked off
fBI
which east corridor
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
the eastest
fBI
the eastest east corridor?
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
the eastest east
the happy tree
what
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
there are cockroaches in nathan millers locker
the happy tree
wHAT
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
cockroaches????
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
cockroaches
fBI
y r there cockroaches in his locker
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
i have no ideabut indra blocked off the entire corridor
fBI
isnt nathan miller one of lizard boys friends
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
bearllamy?can you confirm
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
…
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
BEARLLAMYCAN YOU CONFIRM
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
YES
fBI
that entire friend group sounds like a hoot
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
“a hoot”
the happy tree
“a hoot”
fBI
whats wrong with a hootthey are a hooti am surea hoot
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
i agreethey are a hoot
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
if i cant get to gym because the corridor is blocked off on account of cockroach infested locker, can i just not go
the happy tree
im pretty sure thats not how things work
fBI
come starbucks with me
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
does it have to be starbucks
fBI
finecome to the fake 50s milkshake place with me
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
okay
fBI sent [attachment fingergunsbutcool.png]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
dont you have calculus rn clarke
fBI
technically
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
well then
fBI sent [attachment fingergunsbutcool.png]
[10:58]
gaygent
why cockroaches when lobsters exist
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
gaygent
LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
not again
please no
gaygent
LOBSTERS
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
gaygent
LOBSTERS
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
gaygent
LOBSTERS
[11:12]
Bob Roctavia
LOBSTERS
[11:24]
gaygent
LOBSTERS
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
LOBSTERS
fBI
LOBSTERS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why are you like this
fBI
LOBSTERS
Bob Roctavia
LOBSTERS
SPACE SQUAD
[13:03]
meme to extreme
so you know how pikes class is cancelled on behalf of cockroaches infesting the corridor
which is super over dramatic since theres like ten other ways to get to his classroom which is nowhere near the cockroaches
but since we were supposed to collate what we all have so far and we dont have another lesson until next week, should we meet up beforehand so we dont fall behind
PIKE HATE SQUAD
yeah probably
polio is not coolio
thats a good idea
surprisingly
meme to extreme
just fuck off forever raven
PIKE HATE SQUAD
woah calm down there javert
Jehovah’s Potato
im so happy my stupid sentence has become a thing for no reason
i have one (1) accomplishment in my life
PIKE HATE SQUAD
wow mood
polio is not coolio
so when we meeting up mah dudes
meme to extreme
“mah dudes”
polio is not coolio
stfu bear man
Jehovah’s Potato
“stfu bear man”
polio is not coolio
stfu lizard boy
Jehovah’s Potato
im more of a salamander than a lizard but go off i guess
polio is not coolio
youre too cute to be a salamander murphy
youre at least lizard level
Jehovah’s Potato
youre wrong but okay
polio is not coolio
100% not
youre cuter than a salamander
isnt he bear man
meme to extreme
yeah
polio is not coolio
see
woah calm down there javert
can we organise a time or are you still talking about salamanders
polio is not coolio
is everyone free tomorrow after school?????
meme to extreme
yeah
Jehovah’s Potato
both me and monty are
woah calm down there javert
im good with that
PIKE HATE SQUAD
same
VIVA LA PLUTO
me too
polio is not coolio
cool
meet in the library???
woah calm down there javert
thats good
meme to extreme
cool
polio is not coolio
cool
side note
murphy monty
why were there cockroaches in millers locker
Jehovah’s Potato
no reason
meme to extreme
murphy
did you put cockroahces in millers locker
Jehovah’s Potato
im not admitting to anything
polio is not coolio
asfdhishghhjreh
meme to extreme
why
hypothetically
Jehovah’s Potato
hypothetically i would not remember
like genuinely
hypothetically
PIKE HATE SQUAD
i love you murphy
polio is not coolio
thats a mood right there
Operation: Murphamy
[13:31]
Dramatique Mechanique
hypothetically
our lizard boy was the one who put the cockroaches in the locker
An Outdated Meme
i love this boy
Le Princess
he is the actual best
one of them got in finns hair and screamed
niylah sent me a video of it
Dramatique Mechanique
SEND ME IT
Le Princess
CHECK YO SNAPCHAT
Dramatique Mechanique
THANK YOU
also
bearllamy called murphy cute today
in our project gc
An Outdated Meme
they are so cute
i cant wait for them to actually start dating
theyll be so freaking cute
Le Princess
if either of them used instagram, theyd be gay instagram goals
Dramatique Mechanique
its tragic that they dont
An Outdated Meme
press f to pay respects
Le Princess
F
An Outdated Meme
F
Dramatique Mechanique
F
Le Princess
F
Sparrow Campesinos
[14:01]
YOU THINK MURPHY IS CUTTTE
Bellamy Blake
is this news to you raven
i thought you and clarke would “sort it all out” or whatever it is she said
still dont believe that btw
Sparrow Campesinos
YEAH BUT YOU JUST ADMITTED IT IN THE GROUP CHAT
Bellamy Blake
yes because “youre cuter than a salamander” is equal to “youre cute”
Sparrow Campesinos
you genuinely think hes cute tho
keep telling him that
Bellamy Blake
…
why do you even care
Sparrow Campesinos
because you deserve a cute boyfriend bellamy
and lizard boy is cute
DATE
Bellamy Blake
IM TRYING
Sparrow Campesinos
GOOD
Bellamy Blake
GOOD
Sparrow Campesinos
GOOD
Bellamy Blake
GOOD
ARE WE DONE
Sparrow Campesinos
FOR NOW
Bellamy Blake
WONDERFUL
snosrep namuh
[14:31]
emo dullard
are we still ihobing after school
cave urchin
yes
[14:59]
Babadubris
Is your locker clear from cockroaches yet Miller
emo dullard
nope
i have to admit
jonathan
that was a pretty good prank
you even blocked off an entire part of the school and got like tons of classes cancelled
cave urchin
of course it was
it was my idea
emo dullard
calm down dude youre not that great
cave urchin
says the guy with cockroaches in his lockers
emo dullard
well
youve got me in a box here
Babadubris
How is it not clear yet?
How long does it take to get cockroaches out of a locker???
emo dullard
idk man
cash cash cave rocks
itll take ages
the roaches will try and get away from them and itll be difficult to get them out of all the crevices without an actual exterminator which the school are 100% not going to hire because money
cockroaches hate humans
like fully clean themselves if they come into contact with a human
emo dullard
well that explains jonathon
cave urchin
go float yourself miller
also
you spell my name differently every time you do that
why
emo dullard
inconsistency is the key to consistency my dear
Babadubris
You sound like a knockoff Jasper
cave urchin
asfdhskkjjr
emo dullard
i feel attacked rn
cave urchin
good
cash cash cave rocks
#savage
cave urchin
#no
[15:37]
emo dullard
jasperrrrrrr
where are youuuuuu
i want my bancakesssssssssssss
cash cash cave rocks
ill be there in a sec
emo dullard
whats taking so long
cash cash cave rocks
well if SOMEONE hadnt gotten the eastest corridor blocked off, id be there by now
emo dullard
JONATHON
cave urchin
oops
237 Elm Street
[16:26]
Atom Ward
so the new kid has “violent tendencies” according to nia
John Murphy
dont we all
Atom Ward
shut up murphy
Niylah Harmon
is nia ever going to realise how easy it is to eavesdrop on her
John Murphy
i dont think she cares tbh
as long as we dont bother her who gives a fuck what we do
Atom Ward
thats true
snosrep namuh
[16:29]
emo dullard
what you doing on your phone jonathon
cave urchin
nothing
emo dullard
sounds suspicious to me
cave urchin
sounds like youre paranoid to me
cash cash cave rocks
#parANOia
cave urchin
#no
[17:51]
Babadubris
Jasper
I’ve been rereading that message for like twenty minutes now
Why are the letters capatalised
Why those ones
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
Babadubris
No
No I don’t
That’s why I asked
emo dullard
thats a good question
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
Babadubris
No
No we don’t
We’ve gone through this
WHAT DOES IT MEAN
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
emo dullard
we really dont tho
america explain
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
Babadubris
Jasper please
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
Babadubris
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
emo dullard
what does yANO mean
cash cash cave rocks
oh
yANO
Babadubris
JASPER
cave urchin
what the fuck is going on
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
cave urchin
no
[18:32]
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
cave urchin
no
To: John Murphy :)
[18:55]
Bellamy Blake
hey so my memory cards not working at all for some reason and i only have my half of the powerpoint on my laptop, do you have the full one?
John Murphy :)
i dont think so
i have my half on my phone
but thats it
Bellamy Blake
okay
John Murphy :)
i can send you my half and you could put them together maybe?
id do it but one of the kids in my foster house is hogging the computer so i probably wont get the chance until like nine if im lucky
Bellamy Blake
thats fine
can you do it via the school system?
John Murphy :)
yeah
Bellamy Blake
thanks :)
John Murphy :)
thank you for doing it
we really need more than one computer in this house
Bellamy Blake
how do you even manage that
id die if i had to share a computer with octavia
John Murphy :)
tbf shes your actual sister so itll be a lot more awkward if you had to share
literally no one cares what your search history is as long as you dont search something that will lose everyone their computer privelleges
Bellamy Blake
good point
thanks again
John Murphy :)
its literally no problem
its my grade too
and youre offering to do all the work
Bellamy Blake
its not that much work
John Murphy :)
still
i should be the one to thank you
so
thanks
Bellamy Blake
that was a very stilted thanks
but
youre
welcome
i guess
John Murphy :)
ashsdhsrvs go float yourself kid
Bellamy Blake
kid?
youre like two foot smaller than me
John Murphy :)
youre like an inch taller than me calm down
Bellamy Blake
im pretty sure its closer to two foot but go off i guess
kid
John Murphy :)
fuck you
kid
Bellamy Blake
just cause frank iero is taller than you doesnt mean you have to be vulgar
kid
John Murphy :)
really
really
did you just
bellamy
im disappointed in you
kid
freaking mcr
Bellamy Blake
are you not a member of the mcrmy murphy
John Murphy :)
no
Bellamy Blake
are you sure about that
John Murphy :)
yes
Bellamy Blake
really sure??
John Murphy :)
yes
Bellamy Blake
so youre not a young boy
John Murphy :)
no
Bellamy Blake
and your father never took you to the city?
John Murphy :)
NO
Bellamy Blake
and you never saw a parade??
John Murphy :)
BLOCKED
Bellamy Blake
and your father never said KID when you grow up
John Murphy :)
go float yourself
KID
Bellamy Blake
he never asked if you will be the savior???
John Murphy :)
STOP
Bellamy Blake
of the broken? the beaten? and the damned?
John Murphy :)
CLOSE THE GODDAMNED DOOR
Bellamy Blake
did you just
John Murphy :)
outemo you?
yes
yes i did
Bellamy Blake
you defeated me
kid
John Murphy :)
S T O P
but seriously, thank you for finishing our part
i should actually say it
properly
Bellamy Blake
its not problem :)
John Murphy :)
:)))
snosrep namuh
[20:07]
cash cash cave rocks
yANO
Babadubris
Jasper
No
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
BAEryan <3
[09:01]
Nathan Miller
hey
are you free tonight?
i hear the new italian place near the library is really good <3
[09:45]
BAEryan <3
sorry im busymaybe another time?
Nathan Miller
yeah cool
love you <3333
BAEryan <3
<3
snosrep namuh
[09:54]
emo dullard
hey do you guys wanna do something after school
i kinda feel like getting hammered
Babadubris
You okay?
emo dullard
im fine
i just feel like getting drunk af
cash cash cave rocks
im up for getting drunkwe doing it at a club or are we just getting drunk at your place????
emo dullard
you realise my dads a police officer, right?
we cant do it at my place
weve literally only ever been able to get drunk at your place jasper
cash cash cave rocks
oh yeahidk if my parents will be home tonight, they might be doing night shiftill check the gcif not, we could always go deadzone
cave urchin
me and monty are working on the gc today but we can probably join after?
Babadubris
Yeah it probably won’t take that long
emo dullard
okay so whats the plan
cash cash cave rocks
we can hang out at my place until monty and murphy are done? and then either get drunk af at my place or go to deadzoneand then we can crash at either mine or yours?
emo dullard
cool
cave urchin
and ill be the sober friend who gets you all home and sobers you up enough to convince your dad that we were studying at jaspers if we have to crash at yours
emo dullard
cool²
Babadubris
Whose turn is it to buy the alcohol?
cash cash cave rocks
i have 0 idea
cave urchin
im so happy to be the sober one because ill never be too broke to buy the alcohol when its my turn
emo dullard
its probably mine
last time was my birthday so
any preference?
cash cash cave rocks
im feeling wine tonight
Babadubris
I could go for wine
emo dullard
okay cool were having a wine night
cave urchin
how much wine is too dangerous and how much wine do you need to get drunk so i have referencefor like a normal personmy only other reference is alcoholism so probably not usefulwhich negates the whole point of having a sober friend
Babadubris
IdekI’ll google it for you
cave urchin
cool
Babadubris sent [attachment screenshot333.png]
cave urchin
thanks
cash cash cave rocks
so were sorted for tonightboys night out
emo dullard
boys night ouuut
cave urchin
you guys are so lame
emo dullard
youre just as lame jonathon stfu
cave urchin
rude
cash cash cave rocks
but true
cave urchin
wowim feeling personally attacked in this dennys tonight
emo dullard
good
cave urchin
go float yourself nathan
cash cash cave rocks
waitFLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
cave urchin
no
emo dullard
FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
cave urchin
no.
cash cash cave rocks has set the group chat name to FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
cave urchin
NO
emo dullard
accept it jonathon
accept it
cave urchin
n o
emo dullard
ACCEPT IT
cave urchin
N O
cash cash cave rocks
ACCEPT IT
cave urchin
abcdefghijklmNOpqrstuvwxyz
emo dullard
you are so extra jonathon
cash cash cave rocks
#dramatic
cave urchin
of course im dramaticim queer
emo dullard
fair
cash cash cave rocks has set the group chat name to QUEER FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
cave urchin
you know what?ill take it
cash cash cave rocks
QUEER FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPACE SQUAD
[10:32]
polio is not coolio
we still meeting up after skool??
woah calm down there javert
yeah
meme to extreme
“skool”
polio is not coolio
stfu bearman
lets get this astrobread
me and murphy are still coming
polio is not coolio
cool
[10:41]
VIVA LA PLUTO
yeah
polio is not coolio
cool
[10:54]
PIKE HATE SQUAD
im still coming
polio is not coolio
coolio
Jehovah’s Potato
dont you mean polio
polio is not coolio
mcfight me lizard boy
Jehovah’s Potato
nahi have more important things to do
polio is not coolio
excuse me
Jehovah’s Potato
youre excused
polio is not coolio
EXCUSE ME
Jehovah’s Potato
still excused
polio is not coolio
E X C U S E
M E
Jehovah’s Potato
still excused
polio is not coolio
MCFIGHT ME LIZARD BOY
Jehovah’s Potato
nah
polio is not coolio
i feel personally attacked rn
Jehovah’s Potato
k
polio is not coolio
DONT YOU K ME
Jehovah’s Potato
k
polio is not coolio
LIZARD BOY
meme to extreme
calm down raven
polio is not coolio
STAY OUT OF IT BEARMAN
meme to extreme
okay sparrow campesinos
polio is not coolio
EXCUSE ME
Jehovah’s Potato
youre still excused
polio is not coolio
i feel SO attacked rn
Jehovah’s Potato
k
meme to extreme
k
polio is not coolio
i hate you all
[11:11]
Jehovah’s Potato
k
[11:15]
polio is not coolio
okay but fuck you in particular murphy
Jehovah’s Potato
lmao fair
QUEER FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
[11:25]
cash cash cave rocks
if we are born to die and we all die to livewhats the point in living life if it just contradicts
Babadubris
What???
emo dullard
…
at least its not a flat earth reference
at least im pretty sure its not
Babadubris
*Boomerang earth reference
emo dullard
oh im sorry, at least its not a boomerang earth reference
Babadubris
Better@cash cash cave rocks Any explanation or no?
cash cash cave rocks
i need answers not questions monty
Babadubris
Well okay then
[11:39]
cave urchin
…its a falling in reverse lyricits a fake deep lyric from like 2013
emo dullard
yeah youre still an emo murphy
cave urchin
…go float yourself nathan
emo dullard
insult me all you want
doesnt change the fact that youre an emo jonathon
[11:51]
emo dullard
this gc has receipts jonathon
ik you read this
cash cash cave rocks
i dont think hes ignoring youthe vice principal just personally collected him from our classi heard something about his social worker
emo dullard
shit
is he okay??????
cash cash cave rocks
idkhe told me not to worry before he went but you know himthe world could be ending and theres a 40% chance he wouldnt tell us
Babadubris
I’m sure he’s okayAnd if he’s not, the last thing he needs is us panicking the fuck out about it
emo dullard
thats true
we love you murphy!!! if you actually scroll up to read this
Babadubris
Love you!!!!
cash cash cave rocks
<33333333and on the notion of not freaking outwhere are we meeting for lunch??
emo dullard
outside art???
cash cash cave rocks
cool with me
Babadubris
Okidokie
emo dullard
you still spell okie dokie really fucking weird monty
Babadubris
Go float yourself
emo dullard
okie dokie
Babadubris
*okidokie
emo dullard
FIGHT ME
LOBSTERS
[12:06]
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
@Bob Roctavia @fBI @the happy tree where are yous
i want my mcnuggets
your class is like thirty seconds away from art clarke you have no excuse
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
woah calm down there javertyou dont need mcnuggets right this minute
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
YES I DO
DONT DOWNPLAY MY NEED FOR NUGGETS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
…
Bob Roctavia
me and lincoln will be there soongive us like a minute
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
good
@fBI?????
fBI
look to your leftside noteisnt that lizard boys friends over therewalking awaywithout lizard boy
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
yeah
yeah it is
where is lizard boy?????
bearllamy???
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why would i knowwere not really friends
Bob Roctavia
you were texting him all night last nightwith a stupid grin on your face
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
onewe text for like twenty minutes toptwoi can see you walking down the hall to us why are you texting
Bob Roctavia
because were cool like that
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
s t o p
SPACE SQUAD
[14:21]
lets get this astrobread
Hey guysI’m not 100% sure, but I don’t think Murphy’ll be able to make it tonight for reasons that aren’t mine to tellSorry
polio is not coolio
thats cool dw
bell can explain their part
meme to extreme
yeah ill do that dw
lets get this astrobread
Okidokie
polio is not coolio
:)
237 Elm Street
[14:54]
Trina Babcook
new kids moving in on Saturday
Atom Ward
fundidnt realise you still lived herethought youd finally had your shotgun wedding with pascal and ran off to die in vegas or something
Trina Babcook
fuck you atom
dont tell me you wouldnt spend all your time with octavia if she hadnt dumped you for that lincoln guy
Atom Ward
it was a mutual dumping
Trina Babcook
yeah right
because you, the foster kid loser, would voluntarily leave the star of the basketball, lacrosse and football team
Atom Ward
you realise youre a foster kid loser tooyoure never getting away from it
Niylah Harmon
do you two ever stopwe get it, you hate each other, can you just stopif i have to live with your bickering in real life can you at least not do it over the gc none of us even use, its so fucking pointless and annoying
Trina Babcook
says you
Niylah Harmon
…
Trina Babcook
you and muphy argue like a teenage couple with a newborn baby who just want to suffocate the other
you could cut the tired sexual tension between the two of you with a knife
Niylah Harmon
you realise im a lesbian righttheres no sexual tension between me and any man
Trina Babcook
whatever you say
Niylah Harmon
fuck you trina
LOBSTERS
[15:27]
the happy tree
hey raveni just need to askwere the nuggets really worth temporarily banned from mcdonalds
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
yes
yes it was
fBI
waityou got temporarily banned from mcdonalds????
the happy tree
after you guys left to go back to school she fought a guy for twenty mcnuggets
fBI
why???????
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why would you fight someone for chicken nuggets
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
because i wanted the nuggets
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
and the award for most useless response to any question ever in any time ever goes to raven
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
BITCH
the happy tree
okay so the lady in mcdonalds said that they were having some kind of problem with the chicken so there weren’t any nuggets left after the guy who ordered before raven decided she wanted twenty more chicken nuggetsand then the guy asked raven on a dateso she challenged him to an arm wrestleif she won, she got the nuggets and if he won, theyd go on a datehe clearly thought he would win so he took it, but raven beat him and he got annoyed and tried to slap her because hes a dick and then raven punched him and then they brawled in mcdonalds and both got temporarily banned
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
and i got twenty mcnuggets out of it
the happy tree
and she got twenty mcnuggets out of it
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
well then
fBI
im proud of you boo :*
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
love you too hun
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i guess were not going to mcdonalds for lunch for a while then
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
give it two weeks
fBI
i cant believe they banned you because some dick provoked youinjustice
the happy tree
clarkeshe literally fought someone in the middle of a mcdonaldswhat were they supposed to
fBI
give her more nuggets
Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore
i SUPPORT this
the happy tree
there wasnt even more nuggets available
did you even read what i sent
this was all because mcdonalds ran out of mcnuggets
fBI
how did they run out of mcnuggets
the happy tree
there was a problem with the chicken
did you even read what i sent
fBI
eh not really
the happy tree
well then
exit, pursued by a bearllamy set the name of Our Lord and Savior, Mechanicklemore to banned from mcdonalds
fBI
more like dcmonaldsBECAUSE THEYRE DICKS
banned from mcdonalds
YES
DICKMONALDS DICKMONALDS
fBI
DICKMONALDS DICKMONALDS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
please no
fBI
DICKMONALDS DICKMONALDS
banned from mcdonalds
KENDICKY FRIED DICKEN
AND
the happy tree
if youre gonna replace hut with the word i think youre going to please dont finish that
banned from mcdonalds
asjfdjkjksvjsfdhbvsdbjhsv lincoln
i didnt even know what pun i was gonna make but that makes it 100% better
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
ive never hated being in a group chat more than i hate this one oh my god
banned from mcdonalds
you love us really bell
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
i really really really really really really really really dont but okay
fBI
that was an excessive number of reallysare you okay bellamy
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
…
banned from mcdonalds
i really want mcdonalds now
the happy tree
ravenwe got mcdonalds like three hours agoand youre banned
fBI
still offended that youre bannedwe should protest thatgo stand outside it and yell at them until they unban you
banned from mcdonalds
YES
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
nope nope nope youre not standing outside of a mcdonalds and yelling at them that would be a terrible idea please dont do that it would be stupid please dont
fBI
and what are you gonna do to stop us??
banned from mcdonalds
yeah, what you gone do bear man
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
ill tell sinclair
banned from mcdonalds
well
you got me there
no mcdonalds protest for me i guess
sorry clarke
fBI
guess notill buy you some nuggets to cheer you up
banned from mcdonalds
thanks bby
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
did we all just forget that lincoln said that there was a problem with the chicken so there are no more nuggets which is why the fight happened????
fBI
you think that will stop me?
you think there not being mcnuggets will stop me from getting more mcnuggets for my favourite mechanique???
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yes
by the definition that there not being more nuggets for you to get more nuggets
fBI
this is
h o m o p h o b i a
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
were literally both bi clarke
banned from mcdonalds
why are you doubting her abilities to get more mcnuggets bear man
she will get me the mcnuggets because she is an amazing bi goddess
fBI
love you hun :*
the happy tree
how do you still want nuggets anyway ravenyou had eighteen nuggets when we first got lunchlike literally ordered nothing but eighteen nuggets and an apple pieand then ate twenty more when you fought a guy for themhow do you still want themyouve had THIRTY EIGHT chicken nuggets today
banned from mcdonalds
you can never have too many chicken nuggets lincoln
gaygent
i agreethe desire for chicken nuggets is one that is infinite
the happy tree
wellokay then
fBI
WAITLEXATOMORROWWE CHICKEN NUGGET DATE
gaygent
YESCHICKEN NUGGET DATE
fBI
CHICKEN NUGGET DATE
gaygent
CHICKEN NUGGET DATE
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why are yall so obsessed with chicken nuggets
banned from mcdonalds
because the desire of chicken nuggets is infinite bellamy get with the project
the happy tree
i think i just felt bellamys sigh through the phone
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
yeah probably
it was a pretty loud sigh
QUEER FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
[19:01]
emo dullard
hey murphy, were at jaspers’ house rn if you wanna join
montys not here yet but me and jasper are
obviously
idk why i felt the need to clarify that
cave urchin
thanks
ill be there in like half an hour?
emo dullard
coolio
you okay??
cave urchin
yeah its nothing dw
my moms parole hearing got bumped up to two weeks on thursday so my social worker decided to try and convince me to speak at it again
idk why shes trying, im not going to
plus she wouldnt get custody of me if she got out anyway so its not going to affect me
i dont even want her to get custody of me
but really, its nothing
she wont get out and nothing will change
emo dullard
im sorry you have to deal with it, were here for you if you need to talk about it
cave urchin
i dont really want to tbh
id rather just distract myself
emo dullard
we can do that
im thinking icarly marathon???
cave urchin
victorious
andre and beck are 100% more attractive than freddy and gibbby
emo dullard
thats true
cave urchin
obvs
see you soon
emo dullard
see you soon <3
stay safe
cave urchin
okay dad
emo dullard
float yourself murphy
cave urchin
k
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
To: Welluigi
[09:12]
Clarke Griffin
hypothetically
Welluigi
Where is this going??
Clarke Griffin
shhhhhh
Welluigi
Starts a conversation with someone and immediately tells them to shhhhhhClarke Griffin Logic™
Clarke Griffin
that is a completely uncalled for personal attack
you become less wells and more walluigi everyday
Welluigi
Are you ever going to retire that?
Clarke Griffin sent [attachment screenshot39.png]
Welluigi
Really?R e a l l y ? ? ?
Clarke Griffin
uh huh
Welluigi
You know I don’t have you saved in my phone as Clario
Clarke Griffin
sounds like a personal problem to me
Welluigi
Do me a favor and close your eyes and imagine me sighing heavily
Clarke Griffin
#dramaprince
Welluigi
#youllneverbetwitterfamousgriffin
Clarke Griffin
excuse me i have some fire tweets
Welluigi
What like “my non-existent cat is breathing”
Clarke Griffin
fuk u i was half asleep when i drafted it
Welluigi
I suppose you were also half asleep when you tweeted “is milk just cow juice” and got attacked for not considering goat and almond milk
Clarke Griffin
that was a FIRE TWEET wells
youre just not sleep-deprived enough to get it
Welluigi
Weird flex but okayAm I also too sleep-deprived not to get “everyones talking about that surgery, but no ones asking how the grape was after”
Clarke Griffin
okay i have no excuse for that
i jumped on a bandwagon to get retweets
which didnt even work
it got like eleven retweets and 21 likes
Welluigi
RipI’m sure one day you’ll get your retweetsToo bad your jump selfie trend never took off
Clarke Griffin
jumping selfies are the way of the future wells
just you wait
Welluigi
...When he was ten, his father split, full of it, debt ridden
Clarke Griffin
TWO YEARS LATER, SEE ALEX AND HIS MOTHER BEDRIDDEN, HALF DEAD, SITTING IN THEIR OWN SICK, THE SCENT THICK
Welluigi
And Alex got betterBut his Mother went quick
Clarke Griffin
b u t
h i s
m o t h e r
w e n t
q u i c k
ALEXANDER HAMILTON
you still okay with using your extra ticket on me????
Welluigi
ObviouslyWho else would I take?
Clarke Griffin
idk
its just hamilton tickets are so expensive and i cant believe you dont want me to pay anything for them
Welluigi
They were a birthday present, ClarkePlus the money came from the insurance payoutI want you to come with me, okay?
Clarke Griffin
okay
i love you wells
just feel like i should tell you that
Welluigi
Love you too Clarke :)Even if you have me saved as Welluigi in your phoneIt’s not a dealbreaker even though really, it should be
Clarke Griffin
its a compliment really
what do you have me saved as???
isnt it salvador clarli was bi yo
Welluigi
It was that like three months ago
Clarke Griffin
what is it now???????????
Welluigi
That is an excessive number of questions marks Clarke
Clarke Griffin
no amount of question marks will ever be excessive because no amount of question marks will quench my curiosity my best pal
Welluigi sent [attachment screenshot101.png]
Clarke Griffin
e x c u s e m e
i am CLEARLY a distinguished bi
what is this horsefoolery
Welluigi
Accept it ClarkeAccept your disaster bidentity
Clarke Griffin
if im a disaster bi
then youre 1000000000% a disaster ace
Welluigi
*Functional ace
Clarke Griffin
DISASTER ACE
Welluigi
*FUNCTIONAL ACE
Clarke Griffin
D I S A S T E R
A C E
Welluigi
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much
Clarke Griffin
me thinks the lady needs to shut the fuck up
Welluigi
Me thinks the lady still doth protest too much
Clarke Griffin
go float yourself
Welluigi
I’m not even going to ask
Clarke Griffin
its a flat earth thing
Welluigi
…Me thinks the lady doth sprout bullshit
Clarke Griffin
me knows the lady doth know earth is round
Welluigi
Me thinks the lady doth show intelligenceMe thinks the lady doth show chances of being pre-med afterall
Clarke Griffin
me think that might have been a compliment but the lady is not so sure
Welluigi
(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
Clarke Griffin
me thinks you should not have that face ready to send that quick
Welluigi
Valid
Clarke Griffin sent [attachment ifeelquiteimportant.jpeg]
Clarke Griffin
anyway
hypothetically
how much mulch does one weevil necessitate in order to hire out col for a night with full catering
Welluigi
More mulch than any weevil we know can affordAnd that includes yourweevil
Clarke Griffin
well i guessed that
dollar amount??
Welluigi
I have no idea tbhMaybe like $150 deposit plus $75 per hour booked and like $400 cateringIf you want staff on hand, probably like add another $50
Clarke Griffin
that is a Lot of mulch
i am clearly not a tycoon weevil
Welluigi
I meanYou’re a high school studentI'm pretty sure that's normalWhy do you want to book it out?
Clarke Griffin
for octavias and bells birthday
o said bell hasnt had a birthday party in six years
plus theres this guy were trying to set him up with and the birthday party is currently crucial to that plan
Welluigi
I can talk to my Dad, see if I can get anythingSome of the Azgeda riots leaked over into it so business has been down, I can probably spin something about it putting up a good front and showing people that it’s safe??
Clarke Griffin
thank you wells
ik you and bell dont get on too well but this means a lot to me
Welluigi
Don’t worry about itPlus Bell’s the one who dislikes me not the other way round
Clarke Griffin
he doesnt dislike you
at least not anymore
i think you earned his respect when you decked finn
Welluigi
WellNot my proudest moment but okay
Clarke Griffin
it was the actual best tho
even if you got us kicked out of deadzone for it
Welluigi
Why was Finn in Deadzone anyway?Did he follow you there or something?
Clarke Griffin
i have no idea tbh
why you ask
Welluigi
Because Finn is Straight™ as™ fuck™Why would he be in a gay bar?Especially one that does loads of cabaret
Clarke Griffin
that is a good point
i still have no idea
he was probably trying to win me or raven back or something idk
although i think i remember him flirting with octavia that night
Welluigi
You have bad taste in men Griffin
Clarke Griffin
hell yeah i do im a disaster bi
im claiming it
Welluigi sent [attachment webeenknew.png]
Clarke Griffin
pride is a deadly sin my pal
Welluigi
Then we’re all going to hell after last June
Clarke Griffin
yeah
thats fair
Welluigi sent [attachment webeenknew.png]
Clarke Griffin
go float yourself
also
we still going for coffee after school???
Welluigi
YepYou still insisting you can coach me in chess despite not owning a chess set and me being the one in state championships next week
Clarke Griffin
its the t r u t h wells
Welluigi
Pride is a deadly sin my buddy
Clarke Griffin
well
i took a guided tour into that one
im gonna wallow in my misery and trigonomisery since i can feel my teachers gaze burning into me rn
see you later?
Welluigi
EnjoySee you later
Clarke Griffin
P E A C E
To: Niylah
[12:31]
Clarke Griffin
weird question but you live with john murphy, dont you??
[13:14]
Niylah
yeah why
Clarke Griffin
do you think hed come to a party at city of lights if invited????
Niylah
depends who invited himand whether theres free foodtbh he might just go for the free food
Clarke Griffin
so what youre saying is i need to make sure theres free food
Niylah
pretty muchas long as he doesnt hate who invited him
Clarke Griffin
itll probably be raven
its for bells surprise and octavias not-surprise birthday party
Niylah
hed probably go thenwhen is it exactly??
Clarke Griffin
in like a month or so hopefully
month and a half probably
Niylah
then yeah hell probably gohis social workers hanging round rn but shell be gone in a few weeks
Clarke Griffin
okie dokie
thank you bby<3
Niylah
anytime :)
Callie Cartwig
[14:01]
Are you sure you don’t want to speak at the hearing?
John Murphy
im pretty sure youre not meant to text me during school
inappropriate relations and all
Callie Cartwig
JohnThere’s not much time for you to change your mind if you were doing to meaning I need to be sure that you are 100% sure that you don’t want to speak at the hearing
John Murphy
im 100% sure
Callie Cartwig
I know you and your Mother aren’t on good terms at the moment, but I want to make sure that you’re not going to regret thisThis could be a big step in reparing your relationship
John Murphy
what about the sentence “i never want to see her again” makes you think i want to repair the relationship with her
Callie Cartwig
You say that now John, you don’t want to live a life carrying regrets with you
John Murphy
with all due respect, i dont think ill cary any fucking regret about this at any point in my life
were talking about the woman who forgot to feed me for years on end, broke and dislocated my arm, tried to hang me, buried me alive and set fire to our house with me inside
i dont want any relationship with her at any point
i dont want her to get out and if i was going to speak at the hearing, id make sure she never gets out so i think its better if i sit this one out
Callie Cartwig
Okay
You know how to contact me if you change your mind
John Murphy
i wont
[14:32]
Welluigi
So I talked to Dad and he said that if you can put a $30 deposit down by the end of the week, he can do it for $40 plus deposit
As long as nothing gets broken, you’ll get the deposit back
Clarke Griffin
really????
thats so cheap
how on this completely round earth did you wrangle that one partner
Welluigi
Idk tbh I just said that it was you who was asking and he offered it before I could even get any of my arguments in there
I think he likes you
Clarke Griffin
well thank fuck for that because that is Affordable
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you <33333
Welluigi
Don’t thank me, thank your own favor with my Dad
Now
Tell me about the guy you’re trying to set Bellamy up
Clarke Griffin
you really wanna know?
Welluigi
I’m in human georgraphy and dying of boredom, entertain me
Clarke Griffin
well
hes a complete nerd so perfect for bellamy
they bonded over obscure shookspeared plays
hes like the funniest person but also makes no sense 90% of the time and knows loads of random facts like macaroni penguins origins and also suits emo hair better than anyone has the right to
oh and his name is john murphy but he goes by murphy
Welluigi
John Murphy?
Like wide-set eyes and a kinda weird looking nose John Murphy?
Clarke Griffin
its not weird, its got character
but yeah
why
Welluigi
His Mom used to work for my Dad before she was arrested
Dad really liked him even though they only met a handful of times, used to always send her home with leftovers to give to him
Clarke Griffin
seriously??
Welluigi
Yeah
Clarke Griffin
Why didn’t he hang out with us then when we were kids if your Dad liked him so much?
Welluigi
You know I love my Dad, but even I know that he’s got some classism in him
He didn’t want me consorting with “that side of town” which we both know is a nice way of saying poor people
I’m pretty sure he saw Murphy as a charity case not an actual kid
Clarke Griffin
that sucks
whatd his mom get arrested for?
Welluigi
She was arrested for arson, but I’m pretty sure she got charged with a bunch of other stuff
Dad followed the case closely
Idk why
Clarke Griffin
your dads kinda weird
Welluigi
Yeah
I’m glad Murphy seems okay though
Dad used to make a bunch of comments about how that kid would never live up to something now
Clarke Griffin
well hes in an ap physics class which is how he and bell met and im pretty sure he takes a bunch of other ap classes so he probably will
also im gonna go rn cos cooper is glaring at me and i Should Not especially since this is the second time today
Welluigi
See you soon
To: Emori (FH)
[19:27]
John Murphy
ik we havent really talked in a while and this is probably invasive af, but do you ever regret not speaking at your dads parole hearing?
[20:31]
Emori (FH)
not really, i havent thought about it in months tbh
we never really talked before
your moms parole hearing is coming up?
John Murphy
two weeks
cece thinks i should think about my decision more
Emori (FH)
she did the same with me and otan
neither of us did anything and neither of us regret it
if you dont want to do it, dont do it
dont let cece get all her social worker crap in your head
John Murphy
i dont think shes trying to be insidious with it
she just keeps talking about not wanting me to have a bunch of regrets and what ifs when im older, how this could be a big part of salvaging whatevers left of the “bond between us”
theres probably some truth in it
Emori (FH)
sure there is but youre the kid in the relationship
you shouldnt have to be the bigger person and you shouldnt have to take the first step in it
thats your moms responsibility not yours
John Murphy
yeah shell take that first step while locked up in prison with no contact with me
Emori (FH)
shell get out eventually, let her take the first step then
listen, john, i might not have a degree in psychology and might not be some professional who works with this kind of shit, but ik what its like to live with it and contrary to popular belief, you dont have to leave your comfort zone for anyone
if youre not comfortable doing that, then dont do it. its that simple
its better to have a regret than to be triggered and do something youll regret much more
a lot of people arent going to understand that but that doesnt matter, what matters is that you survive
John Murphy
thanks
thats probably the best advice ive had on it tbh
Emori (FH)
it takes one to know one, john, we were both in that house for a reason and we both have cece in our phone books for that same reason
John Murphy
yeah
sorry you had to be a substitute therapist for a bit with no warning
Emori (FH)
dont worry about it
John Murphy
thanks again
Emori (FH)
no problem :)
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
LOBSTERS
[08:49]
banned from mcdonalds
why is there an assembly
i hate assemblies
im meant to have a free period because goodman cancelled but noooooo
the happy tree
woah calm down there javert
banned from mcdonalds
instead i get an email
telling me i have to come in
during my FREE PERIOD
Bob Roctavia
woah calm down there javert
banned from mcdonalds
for an assembly
i wanted mcdonalds breakfast
not assembly
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
I wAnTeD mCdOnAlDs BrEaKfAsT
banned from mcdonalds
that was an uncalled for meme
why would you do this to me bellamy
i thought you loved me
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
you are banned from mcdonalds ravenyou can not get mcdonalds breakfast
banned from mcdonalds
do i mean NOTHING to YOU
BELLAMY
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
unsurprisingly easily
banned from mcdonalds
i feel betrayed
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
cool
banned from mcdonalds
I WANT A DIVORCE
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
contact my lawyer
the happy tree
but what will happen to the children
banned from mcdonalds
if we must have a years long custody battle, then thats the way it must be
Bob Roctavia
think of the CHILDREN raventhis is so unfair to them
banned from mcdonalds
you know whats unfair?
DO YOU KNOW WHATS UNFAIR?
my HUSBAND
feeling the NEED to REMIND ME that i am BANNED from MCDONALDS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
woah calm down with the caps lock there javert
banned from mcdonalds
why dont you just take your stuff and GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
AND TAKE YOUR EPIPEN, TAKE YOUR GODDAMN EPIPEN
the happy tree
i wish john mulaney was here to give us the assembly
Bob Roctavia
STREET SMARTS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
WITH JJ BITTENBINDER
Bob Roctavia
STREET SMARTS
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
hes not gonna know what to do with two little sneakers coming at him
Bob Roctavia
now youve thrown him off his rhythm
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
now what you want to do is get a money clip and put fifty dollars in it
Bob Roctavia
and youre gonna yell “YOU WANT MY MONEY? GO GET IT” and you run like hell
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
dad can i have a fifty dollar note, the man with the moustache told me to get one
Bob Roctavia
the eight year with the g o d d a m n alladin wallet
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
and that was eight year old john mulaney currently being sued for police brutality
Bob Roctavia
and now youre doing fifteen to twenty and your kids are growing up in foster care
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
and youre gonna make a fist and youre gonna punch out the taillight and wave to oncoming motorists
gaygent
hey clarkeyour friends are weird
banned from mcdonalds
are you like siblingly bonding via john mulaney quotes?????
the happy tree
more paraphrases but yeah
Bob Roctavia
imagine im john mulaney imitating mick jaggerYEAH
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
motherfucker is this how you write songs? one line at a time with verbal abuse?
Bob Roctavia
INDENT SPACE INDENT
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
NOT FUNNY
Bob Roctavia
diet coke
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
and one would appear in his hand
gaygent
what is this group chat@fBI why did you add me to this
the happy tree
its because mutual sufferingwe all suffer through all the weird shit everyone sends
gaygent
but why
banned from mcdonalds
its because we have no other choice
fBI
motherfucker was that a lowkey supernatural reference
banned from mcdonalds
birds squawking in the distance
the happy tree
okay nopewere not doing supernatural reference battle right after john mulaney quote bonding session
banned from mcdonalds
you know what? fair
thats valid
the happy tree
i feel validated
banned from mcdonalds
good
the happy tree
good
banned from mcdonalds
good
gaygent
yall are weird
QUEER FLOATY BOIS NIGHT OUT
[09:41]
cash cash cave rocks
ashsfdhbdbbvbdbhv murphy
Babadubris
GAY RIGHTS
emo dullard
MURPHY SAID GAY RIGHTS
cash cash cave rocks
no MURPHY YELLED GAY RIGHTS
Babadubris
Guest Speaker: Can anyone give me evidence of minority influence within the past century?
emo dullard
*MURPHY YELLED GAY RIGHTS
Babdubris
Murphy, unprompted: GAY RIGHTS
cave urchin
okay, but i was promptedhe asked a question
emo dullard
i dont think he was expecting you to just fuckign yell GAY RIGHTS at him
cave urchin
wellno one else said anything
Babadubris
So what? In moments where no one else speaks, you just yell GAY RIGHTS?
cash cash cave rocks
sounds like a great lifestyle to me
emo dullard
god i love you murphyi cannot believe you did that
Babadubris set the nickname of cave urchin to GAY RIGHTS
emo dullard
i APPROVE
cash cash cave rocks
mooooOOOOOD
GAY RIGHTS
why do i do this every time i have the chancewhy do i never learn
emo dullard
because youre you
GAY RIGHTS
go float yourself nathan
[10:54]
GAY RIGHTS
ive decided i would like to be cremated
cash cash cave rocks
noted
emo dullard
why are you telling us this nowdo you plan on dying anytime soon because let me tell you, my buddy, im not gonna remember this conversation tomorrowim not gonna remember it in like an hour
GAY RIGHTS
nonot when i diejust anytimesurprise me
Babadubris
What??
cash cash cave rocks
noted
Babadubris
Like just jump out with a lighter aflame like supriiise?
GAY RIGHTS
Yes.Surprise Cremate Me With A Lighter
emo dullard
Why Are You Capitalising Every Word
GAY RIGHTS
Why Are YouBitch
emo dullard
It’s Called Dramatic IronyBitch
Babadubris
Why Are You Like ThisBitch
GAY RIGHTS
Because Nathan Is A Little BitchBitch
emo dullard
You’re A BitchBitch
cash cash cave rocks
Do You Guys Think Arthur Conan Doyle Believed In Flat Earth
Bitch
GAY RIGHTS
Unequivocally Yes
Babadubris
Why Are You Asking This?
GAY RIGHTS
Bitch
Babadubris
Bitch
emo dullard
Is He The Sherlock GuyBitch
cash cash cave rocks
Yes
Bitch
emo dullard
Then NoBitch
GAY RIGHTS
WrongBitch
Babadubris
Still Wondering Why You’re Asking This NowBitch
emo dullard
How Am I WrongBitch
cash cash cave rocks
I’m Intrigued Monty
Bitch
GAY RIGHTS
Arthur Believed That Fairies Were Real, He Was Probably Also A Flat-EartherBitch
Babadubris
I Give Up On You GuysBitch
emo dullard
Believing In Gay People Doesn’t Automatically Make You A Flat EartherBitch
GAY RIGHTS
asuidfajdsvbjbhd i cant
cash cash cave rocks
miller oh my god
Babadubris
I think that’s possibly the best sentence I have ever read in my life
GAY RIGHTS
moooooood
cash cash cave rocks
miller said GAY RIGHTS
emo dullard
yesyes i didgays rights bois
GAY RIGHTS
asifsbibdv
GAY RIGHTS set the group chat name to gays rights bois
cash cash cave rocks
you know
weve been in this assembly for so long
and all ive learned is that i think its meant to be about peer pressure and that my boy ac doyle believed in fairies
Babadubris
And that believing in the gays doesn’t make you a flat earther by default
GAY RIGHTS
“my boy ac doyle”
cash cash cave rocks
and that believing in the gays doesnt make you flat earther by default
emo dullard
i have taught you well my young’uns
GAY RIGHTS
“my young’uns”
emo dullard
fuk u murphy
GAY RIGHTS
thats fair
[11:39]
cash cash cave rocks
how do i get adopted by a reclusive millionaire
Babadubris
What??
cash cash cave rocks
how do i get adopted by a reclusive millionaire
Babadubris
I can read JasperThe what was to signal the fact that I have absolutely no idea why you’re asking this
GAY RIGHTS
itd probably be a good start to be an orpanso
Babadubris
DON’T KILL YOUR PARENTS
GAY RIGHTS
i wasnt going to suggest thatjesus monty i like jaspers dad
Babadubris
What else was that so going to be followed with?
GAY RIGHTS
nothingi was being ominous
cash cash cave rocks
murphy? being a dramatic bi? its more likely than you think
Babadubris
Okay I can accept thatBut that so implied somethingWhether or not it was intentional, you implied something
GAY RIGHTS
i implied that you were a little bitch
Babadubris
You really didn’t but go off I guess
cash cash cave rocks
yeah if thats what you were trying to imply, you did not do well
GAY RIGHTS
why are yall attacking me today
Babadubris
Because you implied that Jasper should murder his parents, Jonathon
GAY RIGHTS
okay fair
cash cash cave rocks
is there more than one sneeze in the world
GAY RIGHTS
is there more than one what
cash cash cave rocks
sneeze
is there more than one sneeze in the world
GAY RIGHTS
yes??
Babadubris
I’ve read that sentence several times and I still don’t know what you’re asking Jasper
cash cash cave rocks
okay hear me out
GAY RIGHTS
this should be fun
cash cash cave rocks
when we sneeze
Babadubris
It won’t be Murphy
cash cash cave rocks
do we all have different sneezes or is there only one sneeze in the world that we repeatedly steal from one another
like how theres only one electron in the world
Babadubris
I don’t have time to explain why that is sooooooooooooo wrong
GAY RIGHTS sent [attachment nowwedonthavetimetounpackallofthat.jpeg]
Babadubris
That file name is excessively long
cash cash cave rocks
yeah it really really really is
GAY RIGHTS
shut your fuck up mr one sneeze man
Babadubris
I don’t have enough brain power to comprehend that sentenceIWhat
GAY RIGHTS
shut your fuck up mr one sneeze man
Babadubris set the nickname of cash cash cave rocks to mr one sneeze man
mr one sneeze man
rude
mr one sneeze man set the nickname of Babadubris to shut your fuck up
shut your fuck up
Well okay then
[12:34]
emo dullard
what the hell did i miss
GAY RIGHTS
hellitselfalso were at the back of the cafeteriayoull see usjasper has spaghetti in his nose
emo dullard
…im not even going to ask
shut your fuck up
That’s a wise choice
LOBSTERS
[12:40]
banned from mcdonalds
hey bear
why does your lizard boys friend got spaghetti in his nose
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
why would i knowi dont have like a psychic connection with murphyand i dont have super hearing
banned from mcdonalds
okay thats a decent excuse for not knowing even though you really should know my bearman
because i would still like to know why theres spaghetti in his nose tho
the happy tree
maybefor himit just be like that sometimes
fBI
valid
Bob Roctavia
ORmaybehe wants to becomethe PASTA PENGUIN
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no
banned from mcdonalds
she could easily be right
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
no
fBI
pasta penguin sounds like a knockoff superherolike hes really slippery and shoots pastaand hes in like a shitty version of the avengersthe averagers
banned from mcdonalds
im so here for this
we might not be able to save the world but well get a good 60%
Bob Roctavia
theres one guy who has super speed but normal metabolism
fBI
YEShes fastlead
Bob Roctavia
yes!!!!
banned from mcdonalds
YES
who else
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
theres flying rat man whose just a really shit version of batmanthe bat symbol they shine is just a gigantic pigeon that takes an hour to get up into the sky
banned from mcdonalds
Y E S
fBI
theres a werewolf on the team but every time he transforms, he gets smallerto the point that hes a wolf the size of a millipede
Bob Roctavia
theyre so valid!!!
the happy tree
theres a tree on the team like the whomping willowpros: very strong, can attack people, has full control over branchescons: is just a tree, cant move because it is a tree
fBI
i love our team of useless superheroes
banned from mcdonalds
same
whats the werewolves names
fBI
moon moon
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
obviously
banned from mcdonalds
of course
and the tree?
the happy tree
the unhappy tree
banned from mcdonalds
introducing…….
the averagers!!!!
fastlead, hes fast and a little out of shape, but hes trying
fBI
so fucking valid
banned from mcdonalds
flying rat man!! hes not fast, is guaranteed to be at least an hour late, but hey, hes rich!!!!
moon moon, need i say more???
Bob Roctavia
moon moonmoon moon
banned from mcdonalds
theres also the unhappy tree, dont mess with him because he will fuck you up with his branches (but only if youre in reach because his movement is seriously limited because he is literallllly a treeee)
and finally, let me introduce the leader of our team
the paaaaasta penguin
he is slippery, he is wet and he shoots la spaghet
fBI
that is art right there
exit, pursued by a bearllamy
a true wordsmith
Bob Roctavia
godDAMN POETRY
banned from mcdonalds
thank you thank you
[13:19]
gaygent
you guys are so weirdi love your superhero team but my brain is still stuck on the sentence “hes slippery, hes wet and he shoots la spaghet”
fBI
i wish i could shoot la spaghet
banned from mcdonalds
it would be such a useful super power
gaygent
how????
banned from mcdonalds
i could always feed myself
i could just shove my fist in my mouth for maximum efficiency meals
gaygent
and today on sentences i never thought id read
fBI
she is right though babeshooting la spaghet would be so goodhow do i get that power
banned from mcdonalds
spaghetti related radiation accident
gaygent
what could you possibly be doing that would lead to a spaghetti related radiation accident
fBI
abstract chef?
banned from mcdonalds
with a nuclear powered oven
gaygent
well then
the happy tree
a nuclear powered oven is the worst idea i have ever heardplease do not try that at home
fBI
but what if i got pasta powers from it
banned from mcdonalds
yeah lincoln
what about that
the happy tree
i mean if you want to irradiate an entire city, thats up to you
but if youre gonna run that risk
please notify me in advance thank
fBI
i will boo :*
the happy tree
thank
gays rights bois
[15:37]
emo dullard
@GAY RIGHTS where are you??
class ended seven minutes ago
GAY RIGHTS
in the film class?
pls tell me you guys didnt wait for me
emo dullard
uh totally not
definitely did not do that
mr one sneeze man
h3s lying
we waited for you
GAY RIGHTS
of course you did
thanks? i guess?
emo dullard
we are gud frends
GAY RIGHTS
…
i hate you
emo dullard
big mood my pal
[17:01]
GAY RIGHTS
so may have been put in a group with bellamy whos apparently intro photography?
hes doing the camera work for our project
mr one sneeze man
okay so you are 100% destined to be together
this is literally destiny
its like the couple in titanic, only no one dies!!
emo dullard
i cant believe you just made a legally blonde the musical reference
mr one sneeze man
i cant believe you got my legally blonde the musical reference
emo dullard
of course i got your legally blonde the musical reference
who do you think i am??? a straight man?
GAY RIGHTS
assjfdjfknvjd
you are the embodiment of how dare you assume im straight
emo dullard
thats the biggest compliment you have ever given me
GAY RIGHTS
it was meant to be more neutral but okay
GAY RIGHTS set the nickname of emo dullard to over-inflated ego dullard
over-inflated ego dullard
BITCH
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
gays rights bois
[20:58]
mr one sneeze man
you know what sucks?like really really really really really really really really really really really really sucks?
GAY RIGHTS
…
what
mr one sneeze man
i was expecting more enthusiasm tbh
GAY RIGHTS
well :/
over-inflated ego dullard
WHAT
mr one sneeze man
THANKit sucksa lotthatin titanic
GAY RIGHTS
hurry up mr one sneeze man
mr one sneeze man
the poor personjackdiesbecause the rich personroseis hogging all the resourcesTHERE WAS ENOUGH ROOM ROSE
over-inflated ego dullard
woah
GAY RIGHTS
rose is a capitalist pass it on
over-inflated ego dullard
youve opened my third eye mr one sneeze man
GAY RIGHTS
which is ironic because the actress who played old rose was like a labour activist
over-inflated ego dullard
NERDbut seriouslyjasper youve enlightened methank
mr one sneeze man
youarewelcomecapitalismsucks
GAY RIGHTS
we been knew
over-inflated ego dullard
we should reform society rn
mr one sneeze man
Yes.i vote we start by domesticating sharks
over-inflated ego dullard
we start by what??
mr one sneeze man
by domesticating sharks
GAY RIGHTS
by domesticating sharks and rebuilding our entire society to fit around the sharks
this is basic marxism miller come on
mr one sneeze man
yeah come on mikker
over-inflated ego dullard
ah yesi forgot about the shark chapter in the communist manifesto
mr one sneeze man
its literally point one chapter one but go off i guess
over-inflated ego dullard
i feel personally attacked
GAY RIGHTS
good
mr one sneeze man
good
over-inflated ego dullard
float you guys
GAY RIGHTS
you dont need to attack us just because you dont know your marxism, miller. i think that youre attacking us because youre insecure
mr one sneeze man
YOURE INSECURE
over-inflated ego dullard
fuk u muffy
mr one sneeze man
DONT KNOW WHAT FOR
over-inflated ego dullard
YOURE TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE DOO-OO-OOR
mr one sneeze man
DONT NEED MAKEUP
over-inflated ego dullard
TO COVER UP
mr one sneeze man
TO COVRE UPBEING THE WAY YOU ARE IS ENOU-OU-OUGH
over-inflated ego dullard
EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM CNA SEE IT
mr one sneeze man
EVERY1 ELSE BUT U
over-inflated ego dullard
BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
GAY RIGHTS
not that i dont appreciate this textual 1d serenade
mr one sneeze man
THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YOUR HAIR GETS ME
GAY RIGHTS
but are we just going to ignore the fact that miller just called me mufy
mr one sneeze man
O V E R W H E L M E D
over-inflated ego dullard
BUT WHEN YOU SMILE AT THE GROUND
mr one sneeze man
yes
over-inflated ego dullard
IT AINT HARD TO TELL
mr one sneeze man
YOU DONT KNOW OH OH
over-inflated ego dullard
YOU DONT KNOW YOURE BEAUTIFUL
mr one sneeze man
IF ONLY YOU SAW WHAT I CAN SEEYOULL UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT YOU SO DESPARATELY
over-inflated ego dullard
YOULL UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT YOU SO DESPERATELYRIGHT NOW IM LOOKING AT YOU
mr one sneeze man
AND I CANT BELIEVE
over-inflated ego dullard
YOU DONT KNOW OH OH
GAY RIGHTS
…
mr one sneeze man
YOU DONT KNOW YOURE BEAUTIFUL OH OH
GAY RIGHTS
thats what makes you beautiful
over-inflated ego dullard
Y E S
mr one sneeze man
YES MUFI
GAY RIGHTS
mufi?
im not miss muffet you know
mr one sneeze man
noyoure muffy from arthur
over-inflated ego dullard
ARTHURMR RATBURN IS GAYHE HAS A HUSBAND
mr one sneeze man
the queers are putting chemicals in the water to turn the rats gay
over-inflated ego dullard
YES JASPERthe true gaygendag a y
r a t s
GAY RIGHTS
i feel a lot of solidarity with mr ratburn
mr one sneeze man
G A Y
R A T S
GAY RIGHTS
i, too, am a gay rat
over-inflated ego dullard
youre more of a gay racoon but okay
GAY RIGHTS
you know what?
ill take it
gay rat and gay racoon solidarity
mr one sneeze man
our true agenda is turning the rats and racoons gay
over-inflated ego dullard
yesyes it is
[22:07]
shut your fuck up
A lot has happened since I last checked this chatAnd I wholeheartedly support the gay ratsAnd gay racoonsBut like, I wanna know more about the Titanic lady
GAY RIGHTS
…
do you seriously want me to infodump about gloria stuart
because i will
shes a legend
shut your fuck up
MurphyI specifically asked you to tell me more about herI want you to infodump
GAY RIGHTS
seriously?
shut your fuck up
YesTell me about Gloria Stuart
GAY RIGHTS
okay
so she lived to 100 and her career spanned from 1927 to 2004
she was in the invisible man and a bunch of other universal horror movies
she was also a fineprinter, painter and bonsai-tree-person
she was nominated for best supporting actress at the oscars for titanic
she was in the hollywood anti-nazi league
mr one sneeze man
hella cool
GAY RIGHTS
she was a political and environmental activist
she also co founded the screen actors guild
she attended berkeley and she wanted to join the young communist league but she was too young for it
she got expelled from grade school for kicking her teacher
and she said “to be honest, she deserved it”
mr one sneeze man
hella badass
shut your fuck up
Not to be desperate bi on main, but I love this woman and would let her kill me
GAY RIGHTS
oh big mood
she also did decoupage although i have no idea what that is
im sure she was great at it though
she was just a great woman overall
shut your fuck up
She sounds amazingThank you for the infodump
mr one sneeze man has set the group chat name to Gloria Stuart Fan Squad
GAY RIGHTS
y e s
shut your fuck up
I approve
mr one sneeze man
in this housenoin this BUNGALOWwe support one (1) gloria
GAY RIGHTS
idk man
gloria estefan is pretty cool too
shut your fuck up
yeah
mr one sneeze man
in this bungalow, we stan two (2) glorias
GAY RIGHTS
i kinda stan viva la gloria by green day tbh
mr one sneeze man
in this bungalow, we stan three (3) glorias
GAY RIGHTS
gloria steinem is pretty cool also
she advocated for same sex marriage in 1970 and like retrateced some of her previous transphobic comments, apologised and said she supports trans people
“those lives should be celebrated, not questioned”
mr one sneeze man
i like this womanin this bungalow, we stan four (4) glorias
shut your fuck up
What about Gloria Gaynor?She’s the I Will Survive singer
GAY RIGHTS
i second this
mr one sneeze man
in this bungalow, we stand five (5) glorias
shut your fuck up
And Gloria GrahameShe was in Oklahoma!
mr one sneeze man
goddamn it monty, we dont have room for all these glorias in our bungalow
shut your fuck up
Then extend the bungalow bro
mr one sneeze man
you think i have enough potato to pay for an extension on the bungalow???
GAY RIGHTS
…
the bungabro
mr one sneeze man
you think i have enough potabro to pay for an extension on the bungabro???
shut your fuck up
Where is this bungalow?
mr one sneeze man
b u n g a b r o
shut your fuck up
SorryWhere is this bungabro?
mr one sneeze man
cockermouth
shut your fuck up
What
mr one sneeze man
cockermouth
GAY RIGHTS
yeah we read it the first time jasper
that doesnt make it any clearer
mr one sneeze man
cockermouth
shut your fuck
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
mr one sneeze man
cockermouthits a town in the north of england
shut your fuck up
Why is it called Cockermouth
GAY RIGHTS
and why do you have a bungabro full of glorias there
mr one sneeze man
it comes from the mouth of the river cocker montyand murphywhy dont you
GAY RIGHTS
fair point
shut your fuck up
YeahI need sleep
To: Bell <3
[02:02]
John Murphy
ik its like 2am and not a time to text you but i just got an idea for a cool shot so im just gonna like type it out and send it you so i dont forget it but also sorry for the complete inconvenient time
i just had this image of like a shot from the characters perspective and theyre lyng in bed and looking up and their head is just under the curtain which is swaying because the window is open and the only sound is like a windchime but its a little off. and nothing happens for like thirty seconds maybe and then the character slowly closes their eyes and the screen fades to black and then theres like four (maybe) seconds of darkness and then like the characters’ eyes open so the screen comes back but its all lit up bright red and the camera like jumps and the screen gets redder and redder until its a deep red that covers the screen and then theres a title card, and its later reveaed that it was a murder and thats what we were all watching
again, sorry for texting you this at like 2am
[07:58]
Bell <3
dudethat is so coollike such a good ideaoh my ghod
John Murphy
you think so?
really?
Bell <3
yeah!!!im so happy im working with you
John Murphy
im really happy to be working with you too
Gloria Stuart Fan Squad
[08:05]
GAY RIGHTS
guys
i really like bellamy
like really
over-inflated ego dullard
we been knew honeywe been knew
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gloria Stuart Fan Squad
[19:07]
GAY RIGHTS
its really upsetting to me that ill never be as productive as the rajneeshis
over-inflated ego dullard
the whom?
GAY RIGHTS
the rajneeshis
shut your fuck up
Did you just ask “the whom”?
over-inflated ego dullard
shut your fuck up
shut your fuck up
Yes?
over-inflated ego dullard
shut your fuck up
shut your fuck up
Yes?
over-inflated ego dullard
shut your fuck up mr my-texts-are-gramatically-correct
shut your fuck up
You’re insulting because I don’t purposefully go out of my way to ignore autocorrect?
I don’t text for aesthetic
I’m in a group chat not on tumblr
GAY RIGHTS
hes got you there
over-inflated ego dullard
you literally type like this
GAY RIGHTS
yeah but i dont do it because i think im cool
over-inflated ego dullard
then why the fuck else do you do it then
GAY RIGHTS
you sound angry nathan
do you need a cup of tea to calm you down?
over-inflated ego dullard
no
i need you to answer my question
shut your fuck up
Did you offer him a cup of tea to calm him down? Where is John Murphy and what did you do with him?
GAY RIGHTS
unfortunately hes still stuck in his rigid construct of self
and to answer your question, nathan, though i may not be able to leave my self-constructed construct of self, i can trick myself into feeling more individual by channelling the spirit of a feudal peasant as i text
over-inflated ego dullard
what
shut your fuck up
Why can your feudal peasant read?
GAY RIGHTS
because im still limited to my construct of self and construct of self can read
shut your fuck up
That’s fair
over-inflated ego dullard
yall need help
mr one sneeze man
we all do nathan
maybe then we can be as productive as the rajneeshis
whomever the fuck they are
murphy
whom the fuck they are
GAY RIGHTS
they were a sex cult who built a city in oregon and tried to poison people with blended badger
shut your fuck up
Well then
mr one sneeze man
and here i was thinking they were an obscure boyband
GAY RIGHTS
a 10000 member boy band that grew to include 500000 members
thats a big ass boy band
mr one sneeze man
the bigger you are, the larger you are
GAY RIGHTS
yes.
shut your fuck up
Why would you even try to poison people with blended badger?
How would that work?
GAY RIGHTS
idk
they were like badgers have bacteria, bacteria can harm persons, lets slaughter these badgers, blend them and put it in the water supply
it didnt work
shut your fuck up
Obviously
That’s not how it works.
GAY RIGHTS
i love that youre more focussed on that bit than the whole sex cult who Built A City thing
over-inflated ego dullard
i mean, dont most cults do that?
how hard can it be
GAY RIGHTS
no you dont get it nathan
most cults build a commune
the rajneeshis built a city
when i say they built a city
i mean THEY BUILT A CITY
they bought a bunch of land in the middle of oregon and just built a fucking city
they had a bank, they had a post office, they had a pizza place, they had irrigation and electricity, they had a stadium, they had solar panels, they had meditation studios, they had an airport
AN AIRPORT
they had a fucking airport and a private jet
side note have you ever seen a plane chase when the plane is on the ground because it was the funniest thing ive ever seen
shut your fuck up
Weren’t you meant to be researching for your film project with Bellamy?
GAY RIGHTS
yeah i was looking up true crime documentaries and got distracted
the rajneeshis are way more interesting than like murder documentaries
there was some attempted murder but i dont think they ever killed anyone
they did have like unlicensed guns and a poison lab but like no one died
jane tried to poison someone by stabbing them in the but
he was the bhagwans doctor
over-inflated ego dullard
theres a lot to unpack there
shut your fuck up
I have several questions
GAY RIGHTS
shoot
shut your fuck up
Who is Jane?
Who is the bhagwan?
Why was Jane trying to kill his doctor?
Why did they have a poison lab?
GAY RIGHTS
jane is a cult member who ended up more loyal to ma anand sheela because she got her to come to jesus grove at like 2am to wax her legs
jesus grove was sheelas house
shut your fuck up
I have more questions now
mr one sneeze man
whom shaved whoms legs? or did they shave together?
OR did jane shave her own legs and sheela watched? does sheela have a shaving kink?
GAY RIGHTS
jane shaved sheelas legs
i dont have the necessary resources to comment on whether or not ma anand sheela has a shaving kink
mr one sneeze man
schroedingers shaving kink
GAY RIGHTS
schroedingers ma anand sheela silvermans shaving kink
shut your fuck up
Who is Ma Anand Sheela?????
GAY RIGHTS
oh yeah
she was the bhagwans secretary but basically pulled all the strings and practically ran the entire cult because the bhagwan had a vow of silence at some point and then got swept up by some hollywood people including the ex wife of a dude who won an oscar for producing the godfather
turns out the bhagwan likes shiny things
over-inflated ego dullard
murphy
can you stop packing more into the suitcase right now?
were trying to unpack it and youre just shoving more and more in
mr one sneeze man
he asked leonard bernstein what to do and he told him to pack more
shut your fuck up
Who’s the bhagwan? Why did Hollywood people sweep him up?
GAY RIGHTS
he was the cult leader
at the end of every sentence, he would make a shhh noise
once put sheela in a coma for three days after her husband died as her “mourning process” and then sent her back to work
he dead now
sheelas still alive though, running a home for people with dementia in switzerland
also the bhagwan was also known as osho after he disbanded the cult so the fbi wouldnt like arrest him for like kidnapping homeless people and trying to kill people
over-inflated ego dullard
kidnapped whom now?
GAY RIGHTS
it didnt work though because him accusing sheela gave fbi access to their cult so the fbi could investigate and the first thing they saw when they got there was two people having sex on a bridge
they also found the secret tunnels under jesus grove
one of them had a jacuzzi
mr one sneeze man
you cant be a sex cult without a jacuzzi
shut your fuck up
Okay, I have a lot of questions, but first, why did Jane try to kill the bhagwans doctor?
GAY RIGHTS
because bhagwan decided he wanted to die so he asked his doctor to induce death on a specific date and then asked sheela hey yo can you build a mausoleum kinda thing oh and also i got a premonition that ill die soon, probably tomorrow, so yeah can you be pretty quick with that mausoleum
and sheela was just like well we better kill his doctor then so our cult leader doesnt die
so jane stabbed him in the ass
over-inflated ego dullard
w h a t
GAY RIGHTS
this was back when the hollywood people got him addicted to vallium and laughing gas
over-inflated ego dullard
W H A T
GAY RIGHTS
after this sheela fled with jane and most of antelopes council to germany after this so they wouldnt be excommunicated
shut your fuck up
Antelope?
GAY RIGHTS
thats the town they bought
shut your fuck up
They bought a town?
over-inflated ego dullard
i thought you said they built a city? why would they buy a town if they built a city?
GAY RIGHTS
basically they bought a shit ton of farmland next to antelope which was like a retirement town of 100 people in oregon and built a city there
they got officiated as a city because they had 154 people there to begin with
and then brought the other 9946 people over and sex cult had a city
but then this german guy made a movie about them
and the movie had like a lot of sex and a lot of nudity and simulated rape
and the movie was shown in the one (1) cinema in antelope and everyone was like what the
f u c k
is this cult and why have they moved in oh my god
so this dude who founded antelope got like a team of lawyers called like the pals of oregon or something i dont remember0
to find a way to get rid of them
he paid for it because he was super rich because he founded nike
and the lawyers argued that since it was farmland, you cant built a city on it
like you cant build a bank on a ranch, this building is illegal, you need to remove it
and sheelas like well you can try but you cant stop us
i will paint the bulldozers with my blood
actual quote from her
so the rajneeshis were like well if you wont let us steamroll up and over and build a city, well just buy all the properties in antelope
they also like spied on antelope people in a helicopter
they had a helicopter by the way
and when people were like um no this is my house, they showed up in the middle of the night and flashed torches at their windows to scare them into selling
and then antelope were like okay were gonna disband the town council and then were not a town and then you cant have our town
and sheela was like bitch what
and got enough rajneeshi people on the council to vote against it so they owned the town
first thing they did: legalised nude sunbathing
also like when the rajneeshis moved into antelope, all the locals complained because all they ever heard was the rajneeshis fucking
some lady described it as “people having orgasmic experiences all day and all night”
oh and they tried to take over the county as well but their kidnapping homeless people plan failed
shut your fuck up
There’s so much to unpack there, I think we’d need a removal team
over-inflated ego dullard
the founder of nike fought against a sex cult?
w h a t
mr one sneeze man
they had a movie?
GAY RIGHTS
yeah, it was called ashram in poona
it was filmed secretly in one of their dynamic meditation sessions
over-inflated ego dullard
dynamic meditation?
GAY RIGHTS
its a weird meditation thing you do that involves hyperventilating, sitting in silence, dancing around and then jumping up and down and going WHO WHO WHO
you can be naked during it
mr one sneeze man
*WHOM WHOM WHOM
GAY RIGHTS
idk if thats a requirement but theyre naked in ashram in poona
its kinda horrible honestly
not fun to watch
mr one sneeze man
why would you make yourself hyperventilate while meditating? isnt meditation meant to be calming
GAY RIGHTS
idk
guess they do things differently in sex cults
shut your fuck up
Question
Why did they kidnap homeless people to try and take over a county?
GAY RIGHTS
because in oregon, you can register to vote if you were born in america and had lived in oregon for 20 days
so sheela like lets scour the entire country coast to coast to “house” these homeless people so they can vote for rajneeshi people to get on our council
but then some government person was like i think people are trying to commit voter fraud so im going to do a blanket rejection of any new registrations soz
and then the bhagwan was like sheela girl your plan failed
and sheelas like shit what do we do with all these homeless people weve kidnapped? we have no use for them
and the homeless people are pissed because they were promised the ability to vote
so sheelas like fuck it and roofies all the homeless people, throws them a rave and then like a bit later, they basically dropped them off in random oregonian cities because apparently they were engaging in too much “hanky panky” and “hanky panky”s not allowed anymore
over-inflated ego dullard
hanky panky?
that sounds like something jasper would say
GAY RIGHTS
this is when the poisonings started because they were like well shit were gonna lose the election and sheelas like well fuck it, ive already kidnapped people and beat the founder of nike, might as well start poisoning government officials and all the non-cult townspeople
so they sent poisoned chocolates to them
mr one sneeze man
i definitely would
GAY RIGHTS
they wanted a mass outbreak of poisoning because you cant vote if youre poisoned
or if youre dead
mr one sneeze man
you know me so well nathan
wait
they legit like used biological warfare?
to win a county council election?
in oregon?
GAY RIGHTS
yeah
they didnt win
over-inflated ego dullard
they tried to poison the entire county and they didnt even win
GAY RIGHTS
yep
they kept the poisonings up after though
if sheela didnt like you, she poisoned you
once poisoned someone because she was jealous that the woman had the job of picking up the roses that were thrown at the bhagwan
shut your fuck up
How have I never heard of this before?
GAY RIGHTS
idk man
they had like 500000 members worldwide and were worth like 6 million dollars. there was merch and stuff and book deals and shit. it was really big
sheela was even on like talk shows and stuff like the merv griffin show
theres an interview with her where the dude is like “so your leader is the free sex dude” and shes like “well we dont charge for it if thats what you mean”
also someone asked her what she says to people who dont like the rajneeshis and she legit says “what can i say? tough titties”
over-inflated ego dullard
tough titties?
GAY RIGHTS
tough titties
shut your fuck up
What the fuck happened? Why aren’t they still a thing?
GAY RIGHTS
well they committed immigration fraud and marriage fraud and attempted murder and because bhagwan gave access to them in an attempt to get sheela arrested for stopping his euthanasia attempt, still not sure why he wanted that, the fbi was able to get enough on them to like arrest them
and then after a low speed airplane chase because they forgot to fuel up before they fled so they had to stop in maryland to refuel before continuing to the bahamas, they arrested him
the news footage of it is insane
the fbi figured out where they were going and were there in advance so they couldnt refuel but didnt have enough fuel to take off so they just drove down the runway at like 4 miles per hour while the fbi followed in a car
its so funny
also when they ran out of fuel, the fbi stormed the plane and the bhagwan was just like hiding behind his seat, hoping they wouldnt catch him
also he fled with his throne
didnt remember to get enough fuel but remembered the throne
mr one sneeze man
#priorities
GAY RIGHTS
sheela and her group didnt make it to switzerland in time so they were extradited to the us and arrested
they deported bhagwan back to india and then he died
and the cult was disbanded
antelope is back to normal
i think rajneeshi is still a thing but idk
shut your fuck up
What, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck?
GAY RIGHTS
idk dude idk
its insane
but like as evil as they all were and how many immoral things they did, you have to admit that they were very efficient and very good at what they did
over-inflated ego dullard
i mean
can you not be efficient when roofying homeless people you kidnapped?
GAY RIGHTS
idk nathan can you
shut your fuck up
When did this happen?
GAY RIGHTS
back in the like the 80s and 90s
you know, one good thing about them is that they werent homophobic.
they were cool if you were queer
mr one sneeze man
sex cult said gay rights
over-inflated ego dullard
can a sex cult not say that please?
shut your fuck up
I second that
GAY RIGHTS
lmao fair
shut your fuck up
Side note, did you get any work done for your film project or did you just learn about a sex cult who cull badgers, take over towns and went toe to toe with Nike?
GAY RIGHTS
i made like a page of notes on a ted bundy documentary but then i got pissed about everyone letting him off and treating him like he wasnt a serial rapist and murderer and talking about good and pretty he was so i went down a rabbit hole and ended up here
shut your fuck up
That’s valid
GAY RIGHTS
thank
shut your fuck up
Aren’t you skyping with Bellamy tonight to compare notes?
GAY RIGHTS
yes?
mr one sneeze man
WAIT
MURPHYS SKYPING BELLAMY?
GAY RIGHTS
yes?
over-inflated ego dullard
gay
GAY RIGHTS
yes
shut your fuck up
What are you going to do when he asks you about your notes since you don’t have any because you fell down a sex-cult-shaped rabbit hole?
GAY RIGHTS
its cool, ill just improvise. ive watched many a true crime documentary
over-inflated ego dullard
sounds pretty gay to me
GAY RIGHTS
i mean
im pretty
and im gay
so yes
mr one sneeze man
are we all just going to ignore the phrase “sex-cult-shaped rabbit hole”
because id like to make a formal complaint if we do
because we need to not
because SEX-CULT-SHAPED RABBIT HOLE
GAY RIGHTS has set the nickname of shut your fuck up’ to sex-cult-shaped rabbit hole
sex-cult-shaped rabbit hole
I hate you guys
over-inflated ego dullard
thats fair
[01:02]
GAY RIGHTS
update
im still gay for bellamy
mr one sneeze man
what else is new?
over-inflated ego dullard
you sent a message like this yesterday
GAY RIGHTS
im just really gay for him okay?
over-inflated ego dullard
wait
i have an idea
[01:08]
Nathan Miller has created a chat where murphy can periodically tell us how gay he is for bellamy with Jasper Jordan, John Murphy and Monty Green
Nathan Miller has set his nickname to lord nathan of the gays
Nathan Miller has set the nickname of Jasper Jordan to sir jasper of the trans bees
Nathan Miller has set the nickname of Monty Green to baron monty of the queer farm
Nathan Miller has set the nickname of John Murphy to feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
ahshdsfhbsdbhghbshgdf nathan why
thank you but why
lord nathan of the gays
it was needed
sir jasper of the trans bees
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake makes it sound like bellamy owns murphy
lord nathan of the gays
i mean….
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
he owns my heart
sir jasper of the trans bees
thats so gay
lord nathan of the gays
youre a sappy motherfucker Johnathon
sir jasper of the trans bees
dont you mean
a sappy bear-fucker
bear like bearllamy like bellamy?
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
that makes it sound like im a furry which im not
lord nathan of the gays
it also makes you sound like a twink which you are
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
nathan i swear to god
lord nathan of the gays
bellamys not a bear though
hes more of like a
twunk
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
okay nope im done
im going to sleep
bad night you yeehaw fuckers
sir jasper of the trans bees
bad night you yeehaw fuckers
ashvsbhdgbshbrgbr
[07:02]
baron monty of the queer farm
Why do we have two group chats now?
lord nathan of the gays
this one is exclusively for murphy telling us how gay he is for bellamy
baron monty of the queer farm
Okay then
I’d ask, but we unpacked so much yesterday that I think I might just toss the suitcase instead
feudal peasant murphy of bellamy blake
thats fair