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“Try again Charlie”
she was the only one on this given earth that ever called him that that could call him that, even his dad just called him Charles but his mom well he would give her anything just to see those lips pull into a soft gentle smile.
The house was silent save for the ticking of the clock in the kitchen, outside he could hear children screaming fighting over some toy, further down a dog barked, while a couple rolled by breathless with laughter all needless distractions.
He tried to center himself taking another breath the kitchen chair felt too warm beneath his thighs the sun too hot, he shifted again “Focus” despite the warmth in her voice it was a command nether the less causing him to straightening once more. The cup sat in front of him once more oddly innocent sitting there on the white table the object of his misery, they had been practicing most of the morning.
Sure enough his gums ached he wanted to swipe at them to eliminate some of the numbing pressure, he could feel his canines tingling begging him to just let go. The sweet allure of blood wafted across his face the fragrance heady and addictive, his throat burned he swallowed reflexively knowing it would do no good. His hands clenched the table top nowhere near the white knuckled hold he used to have on it but his knuckles still strained. “Your doing well” she sounded proud voice warm with it lips curving into a smile.
Today's lesson was twofold he had been controlling his bloodlust since his birth lessons like these helped him to learn control, to resist the frantic need to just gulp down the thick delicious liquid, the other part of the lesson was just as important. His canines ached so he clamped his jaw down harder pushing against all natural instinct, his tongue pressed against them a childish attempt to soothe.
His fangs were something he struggled with when happy and excited they would just drop then of course if he smelled something nice let alone mouth watering they would instantly appear, he couldn’t flash his fangs it would kill him that's why his mom was helping him she had lots of lessons but he didn’t mind. Finally his mom put her arms around him pressing him close “You did well today Charlie so well” her lips brushed his hair he couldn’t resist turning his face into her shoulder, she was solid and warm beneath him. Her hands rubbed his back up and down
“Hurts” she hushed him fingers moving to his hair “I know sweetheart I’m sorry” he breathed her in pine,jasmine and honey mixed with something dangerous like smoke from a raging fire she smelled like home.
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Charles was born a vampire it was rare especially these days but his mom always recalled the day he was born with such reverence such awe and joy. “You were my miracle Charlie” she would ruffle his hair and press a kiss to his forehead every time she told the tale. Angela Hansen was a vampire born too and by God was she beautiful even by their kinds standards her hair was liquid fire eyes the stormy waves of the sea, she had met Herc when she had just turned twenty seven, he was human and though it wasn't frowned upon her parents had been reluctant but Herc had shown he loved her so eventually they were married. Herc learned Angela was a vampire early on after the two got a little too carried away one evening he hadn't batted an eye at the fangs just held her that bit closer, it was this reason alone that made Angela fall.
Their relationship was complicated they loved each other but Herc didn’t know an awful lot about her past or her kind and for good reason. Vampires were rare his mom often told him that it hadn’t always been like this before the world had changed and become so filled with hate and greed his kind had been more numerous, humans loved them would offer themselves all too willingly, even the mages admired their power their ability to heal and live without suffering but it was the wolves which had the most interest.
Contrary to popular belief vampires and wolves hadn't always hated one another in fact the wolves had been fascinated by them to finally meet another creature who could handle their brute strength and extended life spans back in those times wolves and vampires would take each other as mates and live quiet happily but times change. First the humans started to become envious of their beauty their flawless skin and addictive blood, then the mages wanted their immortality had thought that ripping them apart and messing with their insides would show them how to gain such power and then the wolves they became possessive they needed craved a vampire to carry their young to have such a powerful creature be their protector and lovesick slave. So his kind had been hunted by all of them the human hunters, the mages, the wolves until their kind became fewer and fewer now they were scattered blown far and wide apart while the other races grew ever stronger, they had been driven to lie in shadow.
These days wolves and mages walked the streets with humans without strife all was well but vampires well you would never see a vampire walking down the street so brazenly, they hid what they were and had learned the necessary evils to do so. “You cannot trust anyone Charlie” and he didn’t he listened to his mom, at school he kept his fangs hidden, when outdoors he tried to hide his quick reflexes and heightened senses, he bathed in his fathers scent to mask his own always carrying something of his with him be it some gloves a hat, there was only one thing they couldn't hide.
Beauty by all the races to have graced this world his was the most beautiful like clustered gems glimmering bright, enticing and alluring all at once not a single flaw in place. It was this beauty which drew others to him at school the teachers would constantly smile at him, letting anything amiss slip without batting an eyelid like forgetting homework, his classmates all wanted to be his friend would push and shove each other to talk to him demanding his attention, in town people would stop to say hello to give him brilliant smiles, he was constantly offered things free apples, no charge for going into the theater.
His mom would often keep them away holding his hand tightly in her own offering them a smile and a laugh, everyone loved his mom, she was his protector. Honestly he hated how people only wanted to do things for him because of how he looked, he hated that no one bothered listening to him at school they didn’t care what he had to say he could be talking about paint and they would nod eagerly and press him to go on, its like everyone only focused on the pretty things so he started to wish he could scrape away his face, he would stand in front of the mirror and will it to crack, once he had taken his dads razor and had pressed it against his cheek but no matter how hard he pressed and tore the skin would just knit itself back together.
His mother was furious when she found him “Never ever hurt yourself Charlie” she had gripped his shoulders so tightly he had felt his bones grind together
“You are beautiful you cannot change this your my baby never let them reduce you to this” she had looked so fierce so angelic her eyes crackling wildly like lightning
“Listen to me Charlie they all see us as pretty toys but we are much more than that they don’t deserve to see that so you make them understand you show them that they can look” her voice had wavered and his had felt briefly panicked by how her lips trembled
“You let them look but that's all they can have” her lips had twisted into a smirk then “One day you will meet someone who doesn't care about your face they will adore you for what I see my brave boy” he had felt so silly then of course she was right mom was always right but he couldn’t help the slight feeling of warmth circling his chest “Promise” because deep down he wanted that he wanted someone that would care enough to listen to him like dad did with mom. She had pressed him tight that comforting scent of home filling his nose “I promise”
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His parents would argue alot he could always hear them thanks to those heightened senses but only one particular argument haunted him. It had been late and dad had been due home but as the hours passed the driveway remained empty eventually they had taken down the balloons and he had tossed the card he had made into a bottom draw somewhere he hadn’t cried he wouldn't it wasn’t like it had been the first time.
His mother had hugged him before taking him for a run it was liberating running with his mom with her it felt safe enough to run they way he could run they way he should be allowed to without anyone batting an eye. She chased him round and round but he was fast of course she was faster and most importantly taller “Not fair” he had squealed when she caught him swiftly laughing into his hair “One day I won’t be able to catch you my little Koala” he scoffed because his mother was always going to be faster. Together they walked back home and after a cup of warm o negative she had told him another story. Any vampire worth his or her salt knew the fairy tale surrounding their origins but every time his mom told him it made him feel small and warm all over again.
The tale spoke of a man so consumed by grief so broken by loss that the late Goddess Nyx took pity upon his dying form granting him the means of vengeance for a price, the thirst. Of course the story ended happily his mom smirked when she said he met a beautiful woman and made her his bride both bound by night together for an eternity. Her fingers carded rhythmically through his hair as he struggled against sleep but something did occur to him “Is dad ever going to be like us?” her fingers paused in his hair he could scent the unhappy twist in her scent before she even spoke “No sweetie I don’t think that's something he wants”
he pulled back to look at her face, stormy blues swimming with sorrow barely concealed by fondness “Why not” he felt bad asking as soon as the words left his mouth by how she flinched ever so slightly if he wasn’t a vampire he would have missed it but he noticed
“Your dad” she paused and he could smell he frustration, the love and exasperation making a strange bouquet “he’s human Charlie its the way he wants to be” the answer didn’t sit right because okay humans were okay, some nice some not so nice but they could get hurt and dads job was dangerous more dangerous than his parents let him believe it was, surly he should be like them then he would be okay, then him and mom could be less worried when he walked out that door
“But he’s your mate” the words felt strange coming out of his lips but mates he knew meant you loved someone more than anything mates were married. She chuckled ruffling his hair “Your so young Charlie we’re meant to have this conversation later always the curious one” he twisted to look up at her affronted he was plenty old enough he was going to be nine in a couple of weeks and he was getting taller he could just about reach his dads waist now.
“I’m not young” he puts as much annoyance as he can feeling worse when she laughs arms reaching to pull his back against her “I know my koala” she sounds wistful almost sad “Soon you’ll be my big boy your growing up so fast” she shakes herself “I love your dad but we are not mates” he freezes staring up incredulous at her mouth opening in surprise she smiles gently
“Mates are an extraordinary thing Charlie, they can feel each other from long distances, feel each other through their bond, finding your mate is like finding a missing part of yourself its magical and beautiful but oh so terrifying” it almost sounded like “Mom” he touches her arm because it sounds like shes not quoting a textbook or some lessons it sounds like she knows because she’s met hers already “our kind we’ve never our mates have never been human I think its destiny's way of sparing us from an eternity of heartache, finding your mate its like finding the other part of your soul it all just slots together” her fingers twine in his hair before continuing their caress
“When I met your dad I never thought I could feel anything again I met my mate a long time ago and then well something bad happened so I lost him but then I met your dad and I could finally feel again, I don’t care about his humanity he is strong our protector but he is human and though I would love to spend an eternity with him I cannot force him to be something he doesn’t want to be”
he wanted to pipe up again because how when but he could sense her pain, almost taste her sadness so he squeezes her instead “If I lose dad, will I lose you too” he’s not the best at putting it into words thinking of his dad dying makes ice settle in his veins, lead dropping in his stomach. She huffs against him “Your father is strong my koala even for a human but he will eventually pass when you are much older as for me” she tilts his face towards her and he can see the fierceness there again lighting up the blues in a chaotic dance
“Not much can hurt us Charlie we are immortal there is only three things which can kill us” he nods because he knows he remembers and automatically his lips part “magic, wolves and man” yes man not him himself not really but the weapons they had made the nuclear bombs and toxic fumes, he feels better thinking about it because he doesn’t picture his mom going near a nuke anytime soon or offering herself up to the mages.
“So you see” she smiles again scent warm and happy once more “I will never leave your side” she kisses his forehead “Now rest” and he does quiet soundly until he hears them arguing.
“He has to know these things” his mothers voice is sharp lacking its usual coolness it shows just how upset she is, he hears shuffling then his dads voice “You shouldn’t be telling him about things like that you want him to be normal mates aren’t exactly” he almost leaps because his dads home but the words freeze him in place and he’s not sure why
“Normal!” his mother has never sounded so angry her scent sours the entire house plucking a whine from his lips.
“He is perfect as he is Herc how dare you”
“I wasn’t Damn it Ange isn’t that why you teach him these things whats the point in bringing him up to live like a human if your going to put these notions in his head” his dad sounds frustrated voice gritty with anger and fatigue but the words cause ice to slither along his chest across his veins.
“Do you think I want him to live like this having to hide who he is just so one of those creatures doesn’t torture him or worse, I wish he could live free to be unashamed and proud whether you like it or not our son is like me Herc has all the same instinct and needs I won’t keep what he needs to know from him” its said with such anger such righteous fury that it spreads terror across his chest, breath stalling
“You happen to be married to one of those creatures” his father sounds thunderous he feels terror like he never has before because his father has never sounded like that not towards his mom “and maybe just maybe there was a good reason for getting rid of the sickness your lot bring with you its unnatural what you are Ange what he is its not natural, you think I like sitting there watching the two of you suck outta bags like a couple half starved animals, think I like seeing those fangs feeling that coldness, I’m not letting you make him into a freak”
There's silence almost as though his mom is shocked and hes shocked himself because he never thought his dad would ever say those things. It hurt Oh God it hurt like a sharp edged knife was pressing into his chest cutting deeper and deeper, he wanted to scream because he wondered if maybe that was why his dad worked away so much so he wouldn't have to see them wouldn't have to see the freak.
Tears slip past his cheeks but he keeps quiet he hears the slap, its so violent it makes his head spin. His dad gasps and he can smell the blood the heady odor sweeping across the landing.
“Fuck you Herc my son is perfect your the disgusting creature the filthy animal jaded by your jealousy of something long past you sicken me” he hears her walk away silent as ever his dad says nothing but he can hear the tears falling smell the salty scent of them or maybe there his own.
The next morning the house is tense his parents don’t talk after awhile his dad goes out he doesn’t come back for a few days when he does he’s crying and begging he never seen his dad beg before. He pretends that he didn’t hear them fight because after awhile his mom forgives his dad and he doesn’t want to make things worse but every time he sees his dad he feels sick because underneath it all he knows he’s thinking freak and that's what plagues him night after night.
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The night before Trespasser comes and there world is turned upside down he feels off. He can’t sleep he keeps pacing and tossing and turning but he feels like something isn't right and he doesn't know why. Everything was going okay school was better now that he didn’t bother letting anyone come too close tom him and home was okay, mom was teaching him more and more, even things with dad were getting better since that argument.
Finally he gets up and sneaks down the hallway he’s nine and he shouldn't because he’s a big boy but he still opens the door to his parents room. His dads home for once one arm thrown over his moms waist snoring quietly, his mom is on her side on the left head titled towards the door as soon as he comes in her eyes focus on him. “Charlie” her voice is hushed probably since dads asleep not that they need more than a whisper to hear each other anyway, he creeps closer embarrassed now, he shuffles teeth digging into his lip.
“Come here” she scoots back allowing him to lean against her curling up into a ball like he used to when he was just a sprog. He breaths in that scent of home mixed with the leather and hazel his dad carries with him, its nice comforting.
“I can’t sleep” he says it because he knows she’s waiting for him to say something sure enough her hands go to his hair carding through the strands waiting. “Somethings wrong” it feels stupid saying it out loud because everything is going okay but something deep in his bones is screaming at him, danger begging him to act to do something.
He swallows and she hums “I know” she doesn’t sound annoyed like dad would if he was waking him up she sounds soft almost expectant eyes flickering over his face. He curls closer because it feels safe here with her and dad makes that horrible wrong feeling ease somehow “Try and rest my koala tomorrow is a new day” and he does. He’s not really surprised when dad leaves the next day urgently, the TV screams about some new kind of monster and him and his mom watch as it takes all of mans weapons without flinching before finally succumbing. Stormy blues watch him and he knows deep in his bones he knows its not over the same way he knew something was wrong in the first place, that thought haunts him for the next few months.
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Its during the aftermath of Trespasser that he starts hearing things its only little at first stray little words like coffee or keys. He only starts figuring out what it means when he’s sitting in the kitchen with his mom when dad comes in but he’s not alone he’s brought a friend.
Stacker Pentecost he introduces himself as he smells wild and wrong and Charles doesn’t like it doesn’t like how he keeps smiling at him or how dad just brought him here. “Wolf” its another random word but its his moms voice only she hasn’t spoken he stares at her meeting her blues watching as they flicker with surprise and awe. He wants to ask but she motions for him to be still so they entertain their guest, moms pleasant and sweet but shes tense shoulders drawn tight together hands often reaching out to hold onto him.
Pentecost talks to him alot asks him alot of things if he likes school his hobbies, his gaze is intense unsettling he doesn’t like it, it almost feels like he’s being examined like the man is trying to find out something and it puts him on edge but he refrains from snapping.
Finally he leaves mom doesn’t wait “You brought a wolf here” she sounds borderline hysterical but he understands why she always warned him above anything else stay away from wolves.
Herc looks chastised for a moment hands reaching up to swipe at his mouth “I’m sorry Ange it shit it slipped my mind” his scent sour's with sorrow and regret without thinking Charles grabs his hand to soothe him.
His mom automatically shimmers down with the display “I know just” she exhales “its dangerous Herc especially with Charles being so young” his dad nods moving to kiss her cheek softly tenderly
“I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to our boy” he means it too he can hear the sincerity in it smell the devotion it makes him feel a little lighter but that word still sticks around floating across his mind. Silly man straightens as he hears it again just as his mom smiles kissing his dad soft and slow before pulling back her eyes catch his. “You heard me didn't you” she sounds excited almost maniac her grin stretching wide.
“Heard what” Herc looks confused shooting looks between them one arm wrapping around his moms waist “Charlie has a gift” and damn there's such pride in her voice his dad looks at him curiously he just shrugs because honestly he’s confused himself.
“He can hear thoughts it might not mean much to some love but my kind have lost that particular gift a long time ago our boys the first to ever have it” his eyes widen in time with his dads because hearing thoughts it sounds a little crazy then again with what exists in the world and this new terrifying creature it might not be as crazy as he first thought.
His mom looks happy almost glowing with the news and then dads looking at him and there's a kind of wonder on his face that he hasn't really seen before “Charles” he shuffles over because he feels a little off center because he wasn’t really expecting any of this and he still feels all crawly about the wolf being here but his dads beaming at him and it takes a minute before he recognizes that its pride he’s seeing. He buries his head in his dads leg as arms come around him “That’s my boy” and for the first time in months the words start to replace that torturous remix of freak in his head.
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Of course everything goes to hell not long after because of course he’s not lucky and clearly doesn't deserve to be happy because another monster comes only this time it hits them. His dads out fighting it and he’s just standing there in the playground while everyone's running and he knows just knows something really bad is going to happen.
Their calling it Scissure the name sounds awfully tacky and he wonders where their coming up with such ridiculous things but his thoughts are broken by someone tugging on his arm, he wants to yell because he’s fine its not like he can get really hurt or anything he’s more worried about his dad being out there with that thing because its huge and he’s dads so small in comparison but his dads strong he’ll make it he has to.
There’s the awful stench of panic and fear in the air and a part of him feels intrigued some deeper more primal part awakening with the scent but on the other hand its choking him because its so strong its so overwhelming filling his lungs and clogging every pore. Then he’s being dragged along and everyone is frantic yelling and screaming and crying so much crying he blocks it all out because he begins to worry because mom said she had an appointment today downtown.
Something sinister is slinking up his spine and he knows something terrible is happening before he can blink he’s being dragged along and then there’s his dad except it can’t be his dad because his dads out fighting.
“Dad” strong arms grab him and crush him into a broad chest his dad reeks of sorrow of grief and pain and sweat. He wants to pull back but suddenly he’s being carried onto a chopper and the screaming and beating of the choppers wings make it so he wouldn’t be heard anyway.
“I’m sorry Charlie, I’m so sorry” a kiss is being pressed to his forehead except its slick with tears and sorrow, his heart stops because his dad never smells like this he always smells safe and warm of comfort and leather.
“I love you Charlie we both love you so much” he knows then because dad never says I love you not really not directly so he pulls back even though his dads trying to drag his head back trying to stop him from seeing
“No Charlie don’t look Charlie please don’t” but he’s stronger than his dad will always be stronger too and he sees downtown its there only for a few seconds before its consumed by white a nuke. A part of him breaks and he doesn’t know he’s screaming until his face is being pressed back into a broad chest and his dad is hugging him tight because he knows mom didn’t make it out from downtown knows why he’s dad keeps saying those stupid words she’s gone his protector his home his everything. It was a goddamn nuke one of those three stupid things that could hurt them and he knows there's no coming back from that there’s no chance in hell. The pain doesn’t stop nothing matters anymore and when his dad calls him Charlie he only screams harder because he’s not Charlie anymore he’ll never be Charlie again, from that day on he become Chuck and Chuck doesn’t need anyone.
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“Race ya” Yancy’s voice is taunting smug in that arrogant I’m older and I’m always going to be able to beat you kind of way, it makes him run harder. The earth feels cold and sure beneath his paws rough with the slush of ice and scatterings of leaves. He’s panting because Yancy is fast almost too fast at times using his bulk to power him along nothing but a stark white and grey mass ahead of him but today was going to be different because he was sick to death of losing and the stupid victory dances Yancy subjected him to. Sure you will kid he wants to snap allowing himself to huff in indignation at the words, his brothers voice is a soft warm comfort a reminder of the pack they share of the bond shimmering between them. He twists and turns avoiding the trees as the branches attempt to snag on his fur, he loves running its the most liberating part of being a wolf. In the distance he can hear soft murmuring the sound of a car pulling up his dad naturally. So he pushes harder, he’s more flexible than Yancy smaller too able to slip through narrow passages and thick trees without fail, he hears Yancy grunt as he smacks into a lone trunk feels the spark of annoyance in his head. Catch up he can’t help the taunting because damn its been an age since he’s actually been able to beat his brother at anything, the finish line beckons him a stark green in all this white. He pulls on all his strength to leap to make it to that fence line almost crashing head first. He hears Yancy howl and if he was in human form he would be laughing but for now he settles for rolling around in the snow tongue sliding out as he pants because he did it. Adrenaline pounds across his veins and exhilaration fills his lungs he can’t contain the victory howl. Lucky shot kid Yancy sounds petulant as he slinks into view deep blue depths watching him with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. Sure whatever you say old man he doesn’t get a chance to move as that grey and white mass leaps on him causing both to roll nipping and snapping at each other but its only playful despite it all he feels his brother contentment even as he swipes at his throat. “Are you both finished” they come to a stop their dad looks exasperated as he watches them in unison they fold their ears back because well its their dad their pack alpha “Dinners ready wash up” he ruffles Raleigh’s head briefly and he revels in the touch inhaling the scent of warm wood and metal, home, family. He shifts back holding back the grunt of discomfort because it still felt a little strange to be back on two feet instead of four, his skin prickles in the cold oversensitive as always after the change. He tugs on his clothes quickly ambling inside where it is warm and safe, it smells delicious something meaty and spicy filling his nose his stomach grumbles reminding him of how late its gotten, Yancy and him had been out for hours. His mother just raises an eyebrow green eyes swimming with fond exasperation, he presses a kiss to her cheek before slinking away embracing the soft scent of jasmine covering her skin. Yancy shoulders him roughly as he passes scent bright with annoyance he can’t help but reach out Sore loser sure enough his brother halts tossing him a smirk over his shoulder, blue depths sparkling with smugness “rematch tomorrow kid this time you won't have a tree helping you out” he lets him pass biting back a laugh because of course Yancy would blame a tree. It isn’t until late a night that his mind wanders he’s happy even though their pack is quiet small compared to others in the area he’s content his dad’s a good alpha strong, reliable Yancy’s clearly going to take after him knows with a certainty that his older brother will be a great alpha steady and sure he’s not so sure about himself, its never been stated out loud but he knows his father would rather they both be alpha’s the Beckett's have a long running line after all. He knows his mother won’t care she was never big into the labels surrounding their kind said she had almost ran off with a mage once before meeting dad her mate. The word haunts him because he craves that the bond his parents share a mate is for life an eternal commitment and even though he’s young he yearns for it, sometimes he lies in the dark trying to picture his perfect other half the one who will know him better than any other, the one who can tame the burning chaos within his mind, the one who will ensnare his wolf. His mother says he will know instantly feel the connection with a glance that once they meet everything will click into place like a thousand lights flashing at once, she tells him how beautiful it will be how terrifying and consuming. Yancy isn’t as interested he scoffs whenever he brings it up, he knows because of their pack bond that Yancy feels a bit smothered by the idea of one person owning him so completely, feels suffocated that he won't have a choice so they don’t talk about it all that much because he knows Yancy hates the idea while he can’t hold back his enthusiasm. Mates are a gift the greatest gift this world has given them Raleigh would never shrink away from such a thing no matter who his mate turns out to be even if their human, his father would be furious but he thinks he can deal with the mortality of it all, he could always bite them though turned wolves turn out very differently to those born some even go mad becoming more animal than man. As he closes his eyes he settles into the rhythm of the house, Yancy’s snoring, mom and dads quiet murmurings, the scent of spice, jasmine and wood. Through it all he has a brief thought but he’s asleep before he can catch it.
What if he’s mate’s something much more exciting than a human
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He’s at home when Trespasser arrives its terrifying and fascinating all at once terrifying because of the sheer force the creature brings, it takes forever to take it down so much loss over one creature. The world is quick to celebrate its victory ambling together in a vivid display of triumph and magnificence no one seems to genuinely care about where the thing came from or why. The whole incident is written off as a one off a surreal but not impossible event considering what already exists in the world some theorize its a build up of bad magic taking a physical form, others state it just a result of a genetic mutation gone horribly wrong both options aren’t particularly acceptable but the world grabs it with both hands no one really wanted to delve deeper least they discover the horrendous truth. Yancy and him discuss theories because their both fascinated but in a morbid kind of way it was nothing they had ever seen before even its appearance was gruesome and yet the sheer power it wielded how easily it tore through their defenses was a little intriguing. He wonders what it would have been like to fight one of those to actually see such a monstrous thing face to face knowing that there was nothing you could do, no hope of survival. A deep part within himself wonders what else could exist out there he had always assumed there was life somewhere out there in the never ending darkness blanketed by stars, he never realized he was looking in the wrong place. After awhile the world moves on the randomness of Trespasser forgotten but he can’t forget its like a splinter in his mind itching beneath his skin. He’s not sure why but he keeps waiting feels like there’s worse to come despite Yancy scoffing at him, he can’t explain why he feels like this he just knows that the worse is yet to come. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mom’s only six months gone when it happens, no one had been expecting another little pup after Jazmine but his parents are pleased and dad’s more protective than ever, Yancy and him are excited not as much as Jasmine though who’s looking forward to no longer being the baby unfortunately things don’t go well. He’s at home just finished writing up his homework when he hears such a potent scream of distress his pen snaps in half because its his mom screaming but he’s never heard her scream like that before. The house reeks of pain its thick and all consuming clogging his throat and watering his eyes, on the floor Jazmine whines high pitched eyes sparking gold unnervingly distressed. He scrambles to his feet running towards his mom’s room, she had been doing laundry, he half skids almost colliding with the wall as he slams open her door, wolf screaming that he needs to do something protect, help. His moms panting lying down on the ground, the basket of cleanly pressed sheets tangled around her, her skin is slick with sweat, dark hair soaked through as she groans and screams. The toxic smell of blood hits him then heady with iron and life, his eyes dart to the floor, the wood is soaked red, slick and spreading his stomach lurches mind strangely numb while his heart beats because this is all wrong this isn’t supposed to happen. Jazmine’s crying he can hear her but his mom just lies there screaming and hearing it finally springs him into action because he has to do something. He ignores the blood rushing to help lift her up even as she struggles weakly against him.“Raleigh” her arms are a dead weight around his neck weighing him down but he forces himself not to buckle,grits his teeth as he pulls her to lay down on the bed. She cries out with the movement knees drawing up, her fair skin is streaked red blood pooling beneath her in a grotesque heap. He has to do something Yancy and dad are in town too far away and he can’t wait. “Mom tell me what to do” he can feel panic edging across his veins its like an echo static scratching across his mind, as his hands shake, he grabs sheets pressing them down under her trying to stop the bleeding but its like a river never ending. “Raleigh I need” she cries body shuddering hands reaching down the her open legs face ashen with sorrow “It’s too soon” tears are slipping past her cheeks but she drags in a shuddering breath “I need your help Raleigh this pup needs you” he nods because of course he would do anything tear open his own flesh to help his mom, she shoots him a pained smile “Blankets Raleigh for the pup they need heat and water quick” he runs sliding into that blood on the floor smearing it with him as he dashes into the kitchen frantically grabbing the soft wool in the drawer and throwing boiling water into the bucket. Jazmine keeps screaming but he can’t focus right now because his wolf is screaming protect pup protect his heart keeps beating it almost feels like its trying to escape his chest but he cant focus on that right now because mom doesn’t have time. It seems like forever before he gets the water and then he’s dashing back almost spilling half of it on the way, feet skidding in that crimson pool again. His mom looks worse than before panting and moaning but she’s sitting up now her eyes a green pool of pain brighten when they see him “I need to get the pup out Raleigh” he moves closer eager “Count with me” so he does its the worst moment of his life hearing those rattled numbers escape her lips as she bears down. The scent of blood clogs the air he wants to vomit wants to scream because damn it dad should be here but there’s no one. Then there’s this horrible squelching sound and the smallest little body comes out all wrinkled and pink there’s no sound. He darts forwards before his can really think and scoops them up swaddling them in blankets because that’s what they do on tv he knows that its important to wrap newborns. “Water” his mom sounds awful scent nothing like its usual comforting warmth its smells awful distressed, ashen with grief it makes him gag a low pitiful whine falling from his lips. He grabs the water swiping at the pup face because their eyes are closed and there’s no sound, it makes ice tear through his chest because there has to be noise Jazmine screamed the place down when she was born announcing to anyone listening that she was here to stay. “Give me him Raleigh” his mom sounds almost monotone but there's tears slipping past her cheeks silently he passes them over. For the longest moment there’s nothing but the thunderous beating of his own heart and his moms quiet murmurings as she presses the pup close and then just when he wants to scream to beg whatever exists out there for justice there's the tiniest cry so small you could almost miss it. He doesn’t know who freezes more him or his mom but then shes crying again making small shush noises they way she always did when he or Yancy had a nightmare and her scent finally starts to clear. He clambers up beside her not particularly caring about the smell or the blood soaking the sheets because this is his brother the last member of their pack who had come into the world so violently so brutally. His mom stares at him before her lips are pressing to his forehead her skins slick and flushed “My boy God Raleigh my star you did good so good my little boy” it feels like he can breath again as he peers down deep green depths stare back huge compared to the small body he has its hard to believe he was that small. He sniffs delicately because he smells awful like blood and grief but underneath it all there's this crisp lemon scent clashing with sandalwood. He’s amazed can’t help but press closer as they stare at one another, his wolf feels calm almost purring because this is right like a piece of a puzzle slotting into place. He hears shuffling looking up briefly as Jazmine shuffles towards them her face is streaked with tears, she all but lunges herself towards them he catches her before she can land on mom. Its surreal the three of them staring at this tiny pup but they do it all the same not even moving when they hear frantic footsteps pelting towards them. Alpha and suddenly dads there blanketing them all while Yancy grips him tight eyes blown wide with terror and something else something like grief as he breathes him in. He tries to relax as dad keeps crying stroking moms face like it's the most important to thing to exist like he’s memorizing every detail pup forgotten for now but despite his dad being here he doesn’t feel right he feels this rush of panic and he’s not sure why because their alpha’s here everything should be fine. Later that night there's the sound of crying his father's broken howl by morning his mothers gone and the pup is nowhere to be seen.Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It all falls apart after that, their dad takes to drink before disappearing one cold night, he promises them he’ll be back by morning offers them a tight smile and a quick hug, he never comes back. It only takes a few days for it to become apparent there’s alot of people after that due to Jazmine still being so young but Yancy tries to keep them all together becomes the alpha his father should have been. Their pack is never the same there’s this void where there used to be security and safety, Jazmine starts to drift away from them going as far as to run away a couple of times the first few times she does it Yancy screams himself hoarse underneath the anger there's a bone chilling fear which surrounds them all Jazmine is young but she should know better should have some idea how terrified her disappearances make them. They fight and argue he tries to be the mediator but Jazmine still snarls and bites he wishes he didn’t have to take sides because he knows how hurt they all are knows that every night Jazmine cries herself to sleep and Yancy works himself until he’s exhausted. School seemed a bit pointless after all that Raleigh tried at first but he can’t stand the pitying stares the whispers burning his back, he gets into a few fights because of it but Yancy always has his back always tries to make it better. After his last fight he knows he can’t go back because the principal despite being so understanding gave him that look disappointment and resignation all in one go, he was being written off he knew it deep down he was ashamed his mother had always prized education stressed how important it was he felt like he was failing her. He wants to do better but he’s just so angry all the time but he can’t show it because he needs to be strong for Jazmine and stable for Yancy he can’t afford to crumble apart it takes everything for him not to. Some days he stares in the mirror and wishes it had been him, his maman didn’t deserve to die the world was cruel she had been the heart of their pack the gel holding them all together without her he felt lost. He should have called for help why hadn’t he gone for help, that day haunts his thoughts the image of his mothers face becoming a broken nightmare night after night, he wishes he knew what happened because the pup had been alive, he wanted to ask but his dad never offered anything perhaps it was better not knowing. He felt lost in this new world they were alone and damn Yancy was trying but they were all hurt and struggling and then the Kaiju started to come. Trespasser was not the last as the months went by more came and watching it all seeing the devastation and the brutal loss they brought made everything clear. The word came together in a way it never had before and thus the Jaeger program was built the minute he heard of it he knew it felt right because no one deserved to lose so much no one else deserved to die perhaps deep down it was his way of making up for not saving his mom. He hesitantly brought it up a few times Yancy wasn’t happy his lips always narrowed blue depths stormy but he needed this so when the time came for him to leave Yancy gave him that look and he knew he wasn’t going alone. Jazmine hated them she screamed and cried hitting his chest and slapping Yancy's face, he had felt disgusting seeing the fury in her gaze because he was abandoning her they both were he was being selfish focusing on his own needs but he just couldn’t do it anymore. He tried to explain it to her tried to make himself believe she would be better off with someone who could take care of her not two kids, his wolf still snarled at him Coward he pushed away those thoughts but he knew he was deep down he was running away just like dad. The day they left Jazmine clung to him after weeks of radio silence she inhaled his scent and pressed him close “Promise you won’t forget about me” she had looked so vulnerable so broken he wanted to close his eyes a turn back time before his brother had to become their alpha before he became a coward. before Jazmine felt the need to shield herself from them “I promise” he still felt haunted by those words. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The academy was tough but Yancy and him defied the odds, they fought tooth and nail but eventually earned the respect of their peers and their instructors, he had been terrified at the idea of drifting having someone else in his head seeing those dark thoughts buried there, he didn’t have to worry because once again Yancy was there for him drift compatible they called it he had never been so grateful. Drifting with Yancy was strange at first but he came to welcome the calm of his brothers mind in the sims they killed every Kaiju sent their way it was electrifying. There had only been one hiccup during their training Naomi she had almost broken them, meeting her had been nice he could almost picture them starting a future together but then Yancy had to ruin it all, it had been the first time he had truly felt furious. Yancy knew his feelings clearly and had done it anyway it felt like Yancy had to do everything he did had to have everything he wanted for the first time in his life he hated Yancy hated how he couldn’t just let him have one little thing, they had failed their sim tremendously and had come to blows. Pentecost hadn’t been impressed especially with the bar fight, the man could put the fear of God into anyone standing in his office he felt small like a child being scolded by their parent. Pentecost was an intimidating man the scent of him reminded him of brimstone he was a alpha and a terrifying one at that. Shame became his friend that day the sheer disappointment the man showed without saying much was quite telling, he promised himself he would never allow himself to lose control like that again never again. Afterwards Yancy had come to him sheepish but repentant but he couldn’t really hold it against him Naomi wasn’t his he hadn’t made any moves Yancy had been well within his rights. It took awhile but eventually they fell back into a familiar rhythm because no girl was worth losing his brother the man who always stood by his side who was willing to come with him despite the ever increasing odds of them dying. They became more focused bagging more success in the sims than ever before and his bond with his brother became that bit stronger, the sims were even smoother they excelled at them. Simulations however were nothing compared to the real thing their first kill their first real fight was terrifying and exhilarating all at once but despite his terror and recklessness Yancy was there the anchor in his head reigning him in where necessary coming back from the victory was something else entirely. Everyone surrounded them suddenly they weren’t so broken anymore and for the first time since his mom died he allowed himself to feel something other than guilt and anger, killing Kaiju was healing him in a way nothing else could. They quickly earned their stripes the Becket brothers becoming an unstoppable force, the interviews followed, the fame clinging to their skin and he loved it became drunk with it all. Yancy and him became the American ideal the underdogs turned heroes he wasn’t just Raleigh anymore he became something more, people looked up to him wanted to be him yearned to be his partner. He was offered more than his fair share of Jaeger flies and sometimes he indulged because he did have needs but the mornings after always made him feel disgusting shame curling in his gut sleeping with anyone wolf, mage or human made him feel dirty like he was betraying someone he knew his wolf howled whenever his did it clawed at his mind because touching anyone other than his mate was unacceptable the thing was he had no clue who his mate was so he shoved the beast down locking it far away. In the drift Yancy would give him this look because he knew but being the charming man he was never commented at least not directly he would however quirk his eyebrows in that Are you sure you should be doing this kind of way whenever he was wrapped up in someone, he ignored him. At night he couldn’t escape his wolf couldn’t ignore the anger the beast carried rippling through his veins, he tried to reason with himself because he wasn’t doing anything wrong he deserved to enjoy himself every now and then even if he felt hollow after wards. Everything changed in Manila. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The alarm screeched jerking awake he was quick to jump down and gather his boots “Wake up old man” he shook Yancy a bit harder than necessary because what was the point in being a younger sibling if he couldn’t annoy his dear brother.He tugged on his jacket ignoring the way Yancy grumbled scent sparking with annoyance as he struggled to sit up served him right for practically inhaling liquor the night before. “We got a new one category IV it's going to take three of us to pin this fucker down” he heard Yancy grumble before getting to his feet with more swaying than he was comfortable with.“Come on” he tossed his brothers jacket at the slack jawed blonde who was struggling to keep his eyes opened even if they were just slits. “Someone's excited” he bit back his annoyance Yancy was always a dick after drinking one of his many charms he wasn’t going to snap back “We need to be suited up in five” he tossed the boots next happy when they were caught looked like Yancy wasn’t as hungover as he first thought. He ignored the grumbling tossing their door open not bothering to wait, he didn’t need to turn around to know Yancy was following a bit slower than his normal swagger but moving all the same. He tossed a few techs a nod as they passed entering the drivesuit room with ease, it was almost soothing the hustle and bustle around him a ritualistic dance they all participated in sure enough the techs were ready pouncing on him as soon as he got one foot in. He was well used to being pulled and prodded at this point still it was always a tad uncomfortable having so many hands on your skin despite the professionalism of it all. “You said it’s gonna take three of us” Yancy was more alert now lips thinned into a straight line he could feel his worry sharp and clear through the bond he stifled his own pushing out his reassurance and optimism“We’ll be fine, easy as stealing candy from a baby” that got him a look half exasperated half amused “Don’t get cocky kid” he smirked “Me never” he reveled in Yancy’s laugh as they headed towards to conn -pod. Strapping in felt familiar as natural as breathing“Morning gents” he couldn’t prevent the smile if he wanted to “Morning Tendo” he glanced towards Yancy noting the slight flush to his brothers cheeks it was no secret that his brother and their master tech were a little more than friendly. “Looks like a big one for you today” he bit back the worry again not wanting Yancy to latch on “Nothing we can’t handle what delightful name have you come up with this time” he heard Tendo’s chuckle “Well since you asked so nicely I’m thinking Titan pretty apt considering” he makes a face at the name Jesus where did Tendo come up with this stuff Yancy huffs in amusement beside him “Nice Tendo and here I was thinking you were losing your touch” it comes out more flirty than anything he briefly wishes he could tie off the attraction suffocating their bond Jesus Yancy had it bad. “Aw worrying about me Yance” he ignore the smile creeping across his brother face eyes focusing in front of his taking in gypsies controls familiar safe. “So who’s dropping with us” because flirting aside they were here to do a job and Raleigh wasn't sure how much more light hearted banter he could take he just wished Yancy would man up and ask the guy out already. “Right always business eh Raleigh you're going to be dropping with Horizons brave and Lucky Seven nice assembly if I say so myself” he glances towards Yancy because he’s curious the Hansen's are well known for their kill count alone he’s actually a little eager to meet them. “Roger that Tendo” of course Yancy's the one who answers sending him a knowing grin he mentally flips him off “Okay gentlemen initiating neural handshake in 5,4,3,2,1” he’s being swept away its exhilarating and soothing all at once. He’s running but its Yancy’s feet, he sees his mom but quickly allows it to drift past because the drift is silence the drift is calm. He’s crying no it's Yancy his hands grabbing Jazmine, their memories spill together in a familiar dance he breathes eyes opening. “Handshake holding strong as usual” his eyes meet Yancy's blue depths twinkle with contentment ready for this kid he rolls his eyes but grins nevertheless ready when you are. It doesn't take long to reach their destination Horizons brave is already there pinning the Kaiju against the ground but their struggling. He doesn’t think they just act running feels flawless natural as they barrel head first taking the weight off Horizon but Jesus this one's big alot bigger than the others they’ve faced.The Kaiju only takes a second before their being thrown backwards he braces for the impact feeling the force all the same, he’ll have bruises tomorrow. He’s more than relieved at the sight of Lucky Seven the Australian Jaeger is a sight to behold as it rams into the Kaiju he appreciates the slight reprieve. Got a plan kid he feels the pain the first hints of determination in Yancy's voice, he takes a breath steadying himself we take the rear let Lucky lead. He feels Yancy's surprise because usually he was more gun sure but this feels right you got it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It takes hours he’s battered and bruised but nothing too serious nothing he can’t live with before they finally take the Kaiju down. It feels gratifying and exhilarating all at once. Their greeted with the usual chorus of screams and victory jeers as they return, all he wants is to shower but the adrenaline surging under his skin makes him jittery and agitated. Yancy looks just as dazed as him sweat slicking his face lips pulled into a trademark grin, his wolf sings demanding to be released and later he will in fact going for a run sounded brilliant right about now. He’s distracted by the emergence of Lucky’s pilots he’s never seen them up close before on Tv sure but not in the flesh, they look quiet similar. Hercules Hansen is imposing for a human broad muscles tense, blue eyes hazy with the afterglow of battle, his brother Scott is almost identical down to the slight ginger in his hair except his eyes are more green than anything lips pushed into a cocky smirk. “Nice work Becket” it's directed at both of them but Herc’s eyes linger on him for a moment he’s not sure why instead he smiles “It was an honour sir” he says it because well Herc looks the type authority and intimidation rolled into one package he accepts the offered hand warmly he’s just about to turn to Yancy when he catches it. Its subtle barely there beneath all the sweat and lingering adrenaline but he can scent it instantly and it smells divine. He inhales and automatically without his consent his eyes close it smells better than anything he’s ever inhaled like lightning and rain fighting together, like the hot rays of the sun striking thunder, its alluring and there’s something else to it something darker more seductive he can’t place a particular image to it but it feels electric wild and dangerous he wants to bury himself in it. “Raleigh” he feels Yancy grip his shoulder and it's only then his eyes open Herc looks uncomfortable and wary all at once he realizes with a dash of alarm how close he has stepped towards him there almost chest to chest, he backs away instantly blood rushing to his cheeks. His wolf is growling though demanding he inhale that wonderful fragrance again, his arms twitch but he holds himself still. “Raleigh” he turns towards his brother blue depths are lined with worry mouth parted in a mock expression of shock “I” he can’t begin to explain it he just feels drawn wants to bask in that scent his wolf demands he find the owner but Herc has already backed away Scott is watching them perplexed. “I’m sorry” he feels small and insignificant beneath the humans gaze frantically smothering his wolf before he does something drastic. “No trouble Becket” the Australian give him a tight lipped smile but that caution remains something close to fire burning in his gaze. “Oi Scott let’s grab some grub” Without waiting for a response the man steps away fully almost too quickly, Scott studies them for a moment before shrugging “See you around seppo” he follows after his brother. Yancy looks at him alarmed and desperate for answers but he can’t begin to explain he just knows it deep down within his bones that scent it meant only one thing
Mate
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nothing's ever the same after that I love you Herc doesn’t really talk to him not that he really notices because he’s consumed by the large gaping hole consuming his chest. They don’t even get to have a funeral since there’s no body in a way he thinks his dad is trying to spare him but a quick rummage through the old man's thoughts tramples that idea, his dad is consumed with grief and guilt. It’s like a coat that hangs across his fathers skin a part of him wants to run away and just breathe just for a few seconds another part the bigger one makes him embrace that scent because he deserves to suffer deserves to inhale what his mother’s death meant to everyone. So they don’t talk it becomes a routine this static tension falling between them sometimes late a night he cries allowing his mask to slip to splinter apart just for a few seconds but crying doesn’t help it just makes him feel foolish, he tries to keep quiet God forbid his dad hears him but sometimes he hears his dad's footsteps, smells that familiar leather and hazel wafting under his door it takes everything not to call out because he wants his dad needs him now more than ever but it feels selfish demanding his attention so he waits and hides the crushing disappointment and mingled hurt when after a pause then move on away from him every single time. The days seems endless they all just start to blur together the pain is the only thing he can feel everything else is secondary, he sits for hours staring a nothing memories consuming his thoughts, his mom's laugh, the soft smiles she reserved just for him, her voice like smooth velvet caressing his skin it hurts to think about her but he can’t help it, he clings to the images because he can’t forget her she had been everything to him the one constant in his life. The only thing that breaks his trance is the burning in his throat his body screaming at him to eat, so he would slink to the kitchen and grab whatever blood was available he doesn’t even bother to heat it half the time what was the point. He just feels empty hollow like his insides had been scooped out and he was just left walking around a mass of bones and skin but nothing substantial beneath it. Pentecost comes by again he shrinks away from the wolf more intimidated than ever nerves on edge, the wolf smells all wrong too overpowering like smoldering smoke and brimstone it's not a scent he’s comfortable with, his dad welcomes the company he just wants the man to leave but his dad lets him stay its supposed to just be a few days, he doesn’t know why he wants to scream because his mom had told dad about how dangerous wolves were to them it's like he’s spitting on her memory but he bites back his fury isolates himself in his room. It grates on his nerves hearing the murmuring of their voices, with the wolf around his dad slowly starts smelling lighter, grief still clings to his skin but its muted sometimes smothered with affection and gratitude he hates it. He tries to ignore the wolf but his scent is everywhere clinging to their furniture and blanketing his dad's clothes, his instincts scream at him danger run but he stamps it down because he can’t risk the man finding out and by God does that wolf watch him. At first he’s not really aware of it since he keeps to himself but then he starts hearing those thoughts Beautiful, interesting he tries to shake it off at first but there’s no mistaking the voice it makes lead drop in his stomach ice to slither in his veins, he knows he’s beautiful knows how his looks catch the attention and adoration of those around him he hates it but he’s used to it, knowing the wolf is thinking it though sends a bolt of terror through his chest. After that he becomes all too aware of the lingering glances the way the man analyses him head tilting to the side and mouth curling into a frown and he tries talking to him. The looks he can ignore, the thoughts he can block out but when the man is actually speaking to him he can’t stay silent not when his father sends him those disappointed looks whenever he answers too curtly or with monosyllables. He hates when his dad scent sours with that trademark disappointment the bitter tinge the air takes and the hefty frown settling across his face so he makes an effort because he loves his dad even though a part of him wants to snap that his dad shouldn’t be letting the man stay with them should know better. So he tries he pushes down his instincts and forces himself to be polite this only makes the wolf more interested the man starts giving him soft gentle smiles even dares to pat his arm a couple of times while he expresses his sorrow for them and talks about how hard it must be without his mum, every touch makes his skin prickle and his heart race he always jumps into their shower afterwards furiously scrubbing his skin to wash away the scent of the man because it just smells wrong to have the wolfs scent on him no matter how innocent it is or slight. It becomes a horrible routine, his dad barely notices him too caught up in Pentecost their voices hushed and fond all at once it makes him sick so he stays in his room pours over the photos of his mum and welcomes the heady numbed pain they bring, he doesn’t cry though because he’s alive and she isn’t what right does he have to cry. Sometimes he thinks he’s just having a nightmare that one day he’ll wake up and it will all be over usually when he first wakes up he has this momentary feeling of contentment that everything is right and safe but after a second or two it all comes back like a flood and he’s drowning. He starts to have nightmares starts to see his mother consumed by blinding white light her skin peeling away inch by inch to expose bone while she screams at him to help but he just stands there and watches as she’s swept away. He wasn’t strong enough to help her what good is being what he is if he can’t even protect the people he cares about, he starts to withdraw because what's the point his dad would be better off without him better off not being reminded of his mom because he knows they share the same stormy eyes and chin, knows that he should have died in her place, he would give anything to turn back time. Sometimes he slips out at night not that anyone notices and runs the way he is mom and him used to run it’s painful because all he can remember is her chasing him, her laugh haunts his every step but he thinks if he can just run fast enough he could turn the clock back erase all this painful grief and sorrow make it all right again of course all his running does is make him feel numb because it doesn’t achieve anything. It all becomes too painful every day feels like a battle until one day he looks at himself in the mirror and decides honestly he can’t believe it had taken this long to come to this realization but as he stares at himself he knows it's the best choice he’s ever made. He’s tired of the pain and the grief, he hates himself so the solution is easy he’s just not going to feel at all if he can’t feel it can’t hurt anymore xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Uncle Scott literally comes out of nowhere one day he just shows up at their new house well it's more an apartment than a house because they hadn’t bothered staying in their family home after everything. It’s a bit disconcerting seeing his uncle again mostly because he hasn’t seen him in so long not since he was a sprog his mom always told him Scott was a troublemaker but there would be this twinkle in her eye whenever she mentioned the other Hansen so he guessed he couldn’t be so bad. He’s more ginger than his dad though his dad would deny having a single red lock and his eyes are a brilliant shade of green he smells like cinnamon, metal and oil its an unusual bouquet but Chuck likes him instantly especially when he all but barges past his dad a furious flush working up his cheeks. The sudden influx of blood makes Chuck swallow but Scott’s family so he pushes aside the instant reaction to inhale and bite into the sun kissed flesh. Scott is a Hansen to the core he all but rips his dad a new one for not telling him about his mom sooner, is disgusted that he had to hear it from a colleague of all people then he crushes his dad into a hug and declares he isn’t going anywhere at least not until Herc is stable enough. He thinks his dad’s going to hit him especially when he remains so stiff and taut in the hug but then he crumbles and clutches the other Aussie close. Chuck likes Scott just for that admires how the man is standing by them a deep part of himself feels relieved another is terrified because he doesn’t want to become dependant on Scott just in case something happens to him too. All hell doesn’t break loose until Pentecost steps into view and the change in Scott’s demeanour is instantaneous it's like flipping a switch. Gone is the warmth instead those green depths turn steely and his scent churns sharp and dangerous, automatically Chuck finds himself stepping back trying to make himself smaller his instincts are screaming begging him to just flee because he’s strong but not strong enough to step between two adults. Leather and hazel washes over him as his father tucks him against his stomach he’s too shocked to really react because they haven’t spoken since that day let alone touched but his dad’s touch soothes something inside him he hates himself for feeling it because he doesn’t deserve it so he remains tense even as one large hand comes down to card through his hair. It isn’t until he starts hearing Scott’s thoughts that it all settles into place and by then he’s not sure if Scott is more dangerous than Pentecost because Scott’s gone into full protective mode and normally this wouldn’t be odd considering the circumstances but the way his uncle scent strengthens and churns and the thoughts raging through his head it all clicks into place because this isn’t a human protecting his family this is an alpha feeling threatened by the presence of another. He bites back his fear his mother’s voice echoing in his head stay away from the wolves because wolves were dangerous is that why Scott hadn’t come around at least not much when he was younger was that why his mom said he was a troublemaker but she had always smiled. He feels like he’s betraying her because he likes Scott he smells nice and safe something he hasn’t really had in the past few months and he craves that feeling how could he want this when his uncles a wolf an alpha at that. “Scott” his dad sounds tense anger churning the usual hazel into something bitter and sharp he tries to pull away but his dad holds him firm “Herc” the word says more than Scott intends because Chuck can hear those thoughts sharp and angry like bullets Are you crazy What are you thinking Charles is only a sprog how could you be so selfish so careless what would Angie think you stupid bastard he wants to block out his uncles thoughts but a part of him feels vindicated because at least he’s not the only one who thinks the wolf doesn’t belong here “I invited him here Scott Stack’s has been helping me” his dad sounds annoyed exasperated like Scott's the one being ridiculous Pentecost smiles it looks smug and arrogant all at once and Chuck feels that flare that fury catching his veins hands curling into fists because how dare he. Scott scoffs green depths darkening cheeks flushed with his anger his blind fury “How nice of him” it sounds scathing so false and sugary sweet, his dad frowns “Scott” There's that edge in his dad's voice the warning clear but Scott either doesn’t care or doesn't hear it “Well thanks Stacks” the name is spat out like something filthy and offensive “But I’m here now so why don’t you do us a favour and piss off” his uncle reaches out to flick the other wolfs chest lips stretching into a smug grin despite the fury flickering in those green eyes. “Scott” his dad shouts it hurts his ears causing him to pull back he’s all too aware of Pentecost’s gaze on him even as the very first crack appears across the rigid calm composure eyes flickering with the first stirrings of anger “Back off Scott” his dad is standing in front of his uncle chest rising and falling rapidly keeping the other wolf from view his scent has churned to something ugly it hurts Chucks nose so he sniffs even as Scott snarls lips pulling back the glint of a canine catching the light “Herc you can’t be serious you think Angela would have” “Don’t!” his dad looks panic stricken despite the fury and Scott has the grace to look chastised but it only lasts for a second as Pentecost slips forward hand smoothing across his dad's shoulder briefly “I meant no offense Mr Hansen I just wanted to help Herc through this difficult time” it sounds all polite and sincere but Chuck can smell the victory in his scent the flicker of smugness and he hates it. Scott’s eyes narrow mouth parting but his dad pushes against his chest once firmly “Maybe you should go cool off eh” its not a request Scott doesn’t move eyes battling Pentecost for a moment before flickering to him he looks defeated and Chuck panics because he likes Scott the man was trying and despite his mothers warning he finds himself reaching out he runs crashing head first into the man's chest. He hears Scott’s grunt of surprise or is it pain and smell the surprise leaping from his dad but he doesn’t care because he needs someone anyone but that wolf to keep his dad on track “Don’t go” he feels weak and pathetic saying it out loud but it's true and it not like he's the best at asking for things. Oh kid the thought is fond as Scott leans down arms reaching around to hug him close and Jesus Scott is warm much warmer than his dad his scent screams alpha but there’s something safe and sweet underneath home family “I ain’t going anywhere kid” he stares at him he smells the sincerity the truth so he allows himself to relax in his uncles hold and honestly he’ll never admit it out loud but it feels nice beyond nice to be held again even though he doesn’t deserve it even though he’s too old and should be soldiering on. Scott’s gaze flickers to his dad “That’s a promise” it sounds like a challenge but his dad says nothing he misses the way Pentecost’s eyes narrow or the iron clad steel in Scott’s gaze. He tries to tell himself that he should pull away because he’s not supposed to feel but Scott makes it hard and a tiny part of him the part he keeps locked away is glad. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It’s not much longer after that the Jaeger program is born and suddenly their packing up and moving it feels bittersweet leaving their hometown but it isn’t long until his dad and uncle Scott become pilots two of the very best and he takes an odd satisfaction from watching them kill Kaiju after Kaiju because more of those creatures come except their winning it feels surreal. He barely sees he dad anymore because he’s always on the move when he does have time to stop by it's only a quick word the basics which go along the lines of hows school, I’m still alive, see you soon and that's it sometimes it feels like he lost his dad too that day. Uncle Scott makes much more of an effort he seems legitimately interested in what he’s up to he warns him to not work too hard but he can’t help it because the day his dad suited up he felt like he had found his calling a way to gain his dad back and avenge his mom so he studies hard. He excels academically blows away his lecturers and his peers it’s just like the school back home everyone wants to be his friend they all try to clamour close to him and hang on his every word but this time it’s different because he doesn’t let any of them close he pushes back with sarcasm and bite whenever someone tries to slither their way in. He builds walls around himself because it's easier to keep others away then to have anyone get close again he can’t let it happen so he smirks and bites and pretty soon people though they still admire him still desire him begin to back off. It’s a relief but it means he won’t have to mourn any of them or wonder about them or spend nights worrying like he does whenever his dad and uncle fly out, he gets quiet good at keeping everyone away and keeping his nature a secret. He basks himself in his dad’s scent wearing his dad's jacket like a suit of armor from day one people think he’s just being arrogant and smug but he doesn’t care he’s overjoyed the day they bring out scent neutralizers of course it was made with the wolves in mind can’t have them going into a rut or heat should the right scent trigger them but he’s thankful all the same. He works hard Scott of course is an exception to his not get close to anyone rule, he slither's his way in and he’s powerless to stop him especially when Scott finds him one night after a nightmare and wraps him up singing him to sleep like he was a sprog all over again he never mentions it out loud so he’s in his debt and in all honesty he loves Scott even though his uncles a wolf he doesn’t act like it if anything he’s more like an overgrown puppy. He doesn’t know if Scott knows what he is or not he never mentions it but he thinks he knows judging from the way his uncle would subtly ruffle his hair basking him in his scent or conveniently mention the vast supply of blood in the med bay and how the place is unguarded especially at night. His uncle isn’t subtle but he appreciates that he never says it out loud at first he had been panicked hell bent and running away after the first non subtle indicator but his dad had given him that look and later that night Scott had sat beside him arm casually slung over his shoulders off handedly commenting how family was family. He would go to his grave never admitting how much those words meant to him or that he may have cried just a little afterwards. The only thing that makes him feels sick is Pentecost he still around joins the jaeger program himself and quickly rises through the ranks he’s glad he doesn’t have to spend any time with the man because every look the wolf gives him makes his skin crawl and his instincts scream, it helps that Scott detests him he’s not too sure why. Of course his interactions with Pentecost change and he starts seeing the man more when he meets one Miss Mako Mori. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It’s a typical day when they meet she’s all shy and small frail looking but something in Chuck melts when he sees her she just looks so broken so lost. The other kids tease her whisper behind her back he finds a group of them one day laughing and nudging her in the hallway and he doesn’t think just reacts because it’s not right she’s already lost so much so he shouts out. “Oi” the all draw up at the sight of him “Beat it Hansen” one’s brave enough to say all false bravado and arrogance, he can smell the envy a mile away and the subtle stirrings of embarrassment “Back off Jones” he aims for unconcerned idly flickering his gaze to Mori who’s staring at him books clutched to her chest like some lost schoolgirl his heart pangs because tears are silently gathering in those pools of brown. “Oh you going to make me Hansen” the boy straightens fingers curling into fists the resentment increases souring the air Chuck almost wrinkles his nose but suppresses the urge because he’s supposed to be human. “Last chance mate” he knows before the guy lunges what he’s going to do even if he wasn’t a vampire he would know it because he’s just like all the others who are trying to prove something prove that they can take down Hansen, he’s gotten into plenty of fights to know it by now it’s almost like a game but the outcome is always the same. He keeps his reflexes slow but is still quicker as he dodges the blow it only annoys the guy and then he’s lunging again but he’s quick to catch the guys fist unable to hold back the smirk because he’s fought better and this guy is just sloppy its pathetic he senses someone coming behind him and spins quickly throwing douchebag one into the coward. There’s barely any time to turn before another fist is coming his way and he feels the punch but it's almost pleasurable the sudden snap he hears the crunching of bone and the sweet elixir of blood as the guy splits his knuckles hitting him. “Shit” the guy tumbles back clutching his hand he doesn’t bother to examine the damage can already feel his skin stitching back together so he moves quickly least one of them notices. He punches the first one with ease making sure to hold back he doesn’t want to break the guys bones after all or kill him. The heady scent of blood fills the air and it makes his throat aches canines struggling but he bites down suppressing the urge. He rounds quickly before the other two have a chance to blink it only takes one punch to cause the other to stumble into the wall and a swift punch and kick to have the other on the ground screaming and clutching his face. His muscles strain because the smell is overpowering and he wants, it would be so easy to tear open their flesh and take that heady liquid but he’s better than that so instead he smirks “Warned ya” blue eyes blink up at him before the other two are scrambling hauling him up “Fuck you Hansen you’ll get what's coming to you” it's hard to take the threat seriously when there’s a steady stream of blood pumping from his nose and his legs are shaking its satisfying. Those eyes flicker behind him before a sneer is tossed his way “You and that bitch” he almost hits him again but holds back because as satisfying as it would be to tear Jones apart he doesn’t need the hassle or the accompanying lecture his dad would give instead he smirks arms crossing nonchalance at its best “Sure Jones now why don’t you and the rest of you anklebiters beat it before I break something else” he takes one step forward it's all it takes before their scarpering Jones aims a sneer back at him but the effect is ruined by the broken nose and blood stained lips.He breathes in as they disappear taking a moment to centre himself because his throat is screaming canines aching and head bursting because it's hard juggling the heady flow of thoughts in time with the words being spoken out loud sometimes it's more than difficult trying to suppress the automatic urge to respond to the thoughts. He smells her before she speaks her scent is awed tinged with this soft warmth she smells like wildflowers, of honey and steel it’s nice refreshing “Are you okay” he turns and sure enough she is standing close gaze much older than it should be he shrugs but refrains from fidgeting her gaze feels too intense too knowing but he suppresses the urge to snark and snap because she looks so lost beneath it all there’s that heady scent of loss and grief sticking to her skin its that alone which makes him soften “Should be asking you that yeah” she flushes embarrassed but she holds his gaze “It’s nothing they have nothing better to do” her jaw arches upwards steely and strong it gives him a clear view of her pulse hammering in her throat pressing insistently against the soft skin. He swallows averting his gaze “Jones is a dick” she chuckles the sound causes him to glance back her eyes are twinkling and her lips are curving “You two seem well acquainted” he shrugs again arms loosening “What can I say I have that effect on people” she keeps smiling “Thank you Chuck no one's” she trails off but he can hear her thoughts loud but soft all at once No one likes me here, everyone sees me as some child riding Sensei’s coattails, I feel so alone. Ouch that sounds too familiar so he shuffles ignoring the way she inches closer “No trouble eh it's nothing you’d do the same” her brown eyes soften warmth spilling across her scent “Of course” it’s so sincere so honest it makes something warm clutch at his chest but he buries it he needs to stay detached. “Well best be off try and stay out of trouble yeah” he turns but her grip stops him she’s warm not as warm as uncle Scott but there’s this electric charge to her touch a quiet hum under her skin there’s a particular scent to it like the first stirrings of lightning. “Wait” she looks flushed but she holds his gaze something like determination painting the brown pools “I’ve been going over some equations but well I’m a little stuck on this particular set would you be interested in helping me” there’s hope sparking across her scent and he knows she’s looking for a friend a connection in this empty metal building someone to talk to to help with the loss to ease the loneliness he knows because he feels it too but he can’t, losing his mom destroyed him he can’t risk getting that close again. He straightens “Sorry I’ve” he stops because her grip becomes tight and there’s this tinge of panic crossing her face this absolute soul crushing sadness blanketing her scent it halts his thoughts because she’s alone and so broken “Please” he knows it takes alot to say it out loud because Miss Mori’s got as much pride as him but she says it all the same. Something in him breaks because it's not right maybe if someone had reached out to him things would have been different he couldn’t have her becoming like him because there was so much feeling to her she deserved to feel so he ignores the warning ringing in his head. “Well I guess I could spare a few minutes” brown pools glitter and her scent surges as her lips twist into a brilliant smile “Just a few” the words say more than she means he knows but he lets it slide gesturing for her to lead as he follows their arms brushing as they walk. It feels nice it's been a long time since he’s had to touch anyone and she feels warm and secure like a rock in the ocean he can feel her looking at him hear the questions tugging at her mind but he keeps he gaze ahead trying to ignore the words finally she breaks but she doesn’t ask what he’s expecting. “Chuck” he looks at her and she looks so genuinely confused and curious that he blinks “What’s an ankle biter” he couldn’t suppress the laugh if he wanted to and when she joins in its that bit sweeter. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx So they become friends it's kind of hard not to Mako is just as stubborn as him, they spar together and study, she’s one of the few who can keep up with him. Mako is open with her pain at least with him she tells him about her parents about Pentecost (and yes he had been freaked and a little wary to learn of their connection), about her interest in the program and her desire to become a pilot. She’s a good friend no matter how much he snaps and bites she stays just giving him this steely flat look she worms a way into his heart and before long she’s like his little sister more than anything else. He still doesn’t tell her what he is because it’s just too dangerous no matter how much he wants to but he does learn what she is because its Mako she’s almost too excited to tell him. Of all the things he had been expecting it hadn’t been a mage of course when she told him it felt like he was being pinned down by a freight train like ice had wrapped around all his organs and just squeezed because he knew what mages had done to his kind. It had taken a few days for him to get used to the idea Mako bless her soul had been patient a little confused but hadn’t pressed the sudden reason for his distance because she was Mako his friend and little sister and despite what mages had done she wasn’t like that. He trusted his instincts and so far they had been silent in regards to Miss Mori so he trusted his gut and he was glad he had because magic was fascinating. The first time she had conjured a flame he had awed and a little envious it hadn’t helped that she had been so damn smug about the whole thing but when he asked her to do more she had been oddly pleased and shy. She explained that elements were much easier than anything else like the likes of teleportation or summoning he drank it all in like a sponge because magic was endless but of course there were unspoken rules resurrection was a big no go Mako had been so solemn when she told him and he understood because knowing that you had the power to bring back your parents was one thing but knowing you couldn’t was another realm of hell entirely. In time her scent eased that torrent of grief and sadness became lighter and he was humbled to realize that it was thanks to him. His dad didn’t comment on their friendship not that his dad really noticed anything he did these days they couldn’t be further apart they were father and son but it was like it was in name only, months could go by without hearing a word from the man, Scott tried would send him messages when possible but he just felt so angry, he worked his fury out in the Kwoon. Sometimes Mako would watch him other times she would swing by his bunk and offer him some new jaeger tech to examine he appreciated it. It all came to a head though just before his fifteenth birthday his dad came back after another kill and he was drunk not that such a thing was an odd occurrence growing up in the Shatterdome the adrenaline after a battle usually gave its pilots a high he knew how that went and the first time his dad came back smelling like sex and someone else he wanted to scream but he buried it down because his dad was only human so he never said anything this time though his dad wasn’t being grief stricken that was usually how it went when he drank to much he’d talk about his mom before Scott would hush him and get him to bed but this time Chuck was wide awake. “I miss her Scott” His dad speech was slurred scent stark with loss and sorrow but the intensity of it was muted by the alcohol and the steady scent of sweet and adrenaline. He heard Scott sigh the bed creak as he pushed his dad down. “I know Herc” it was his uncles mantra he tried to close his eyes and focus on the new Jaeger designs Mako had shown him earlier for awhile he managed to tune out but then his dad voice caught his attention again “You know there was only time to get to one of them” he froze silently creeping back towards the wall glad for once that there was a door separating their room “Herc” there was something sharp in his uncles voice nothing like the usual quiet reassurance “Sometimes Scott I” he heard a chuckle but it was dark and twisted ugly lead dropped in his stomach at the sound because his dad wasn’t supposed to sound like that. “I regret it yeah because I loved Ange so much and sometimes I think yeah I should have gone to her first” he can’t breathe because it’s one thing thinking it himself its a another hearing his dad say it “You don’t mean it Herc” Scott sounds wild almost frantic he hears his dad struggle “I know it’s awful Scott but I do Goddamn me I do” he doesn't realize he’s moved until it's too late “Chuck!” he ignores his uncle and then he’s running, he can’t stop he’s not thinking about if anyone finds him, doesn’t care if everyone knows, he can’t breathe. There’s this searing white hot pain catching his chest this hysterical cry pulling at his lips he knew it. He doesn’t stop until he feels the rain cutting his face and then he’s on his knees and he’s hitting, the ground gives way beneath his fists and it hurts every hit snaps something in him but he doesn’t care because he deserves it he knew it his dad should have saved her so what if he had died it wasn’t like they couldn’t have another. His vision blurs and there’s this awful sound it takes him a moment to realize its him but he doesn’t care he screams and his fists become a bloody mess the bones snapping and giving way trying to stitch back together but he won’t let them because none of it matters. “Chuck” he barely registers the voice but then wildflowers and honey is sweeping over him but he can’t stop and when Mako tries to touch him he snaps. He turns around and he snaps canines descending with a vengeance a hiss passing his lips and he sees her fall backwards blind terror coating brown pools. Kill the urge is pounding through him to hurt and tear apart flesh and bone to break to destroy but then he sees those brown pools soften with warmth “Chuck” she reaches out to him and he stops and stumbles back Oh God. He feels sick because this was Mako and he had wanted to he curls in on himself it barely registers he’s crying until her hand touches his face “Its okay Chuck” he wants to snap but it all hurts too much so he gives in to that gentle touch she’s a rock in the storm and she soldiers his pain as the minutes pass, she doesn’t ask she just stays there one hand carding through his hair the other rubbing his back. Eventually the sky brightens and his breathing slows, still she doesn’t ask but it all comes pouring out, he tells her about his mom, about his dad, about the pain licking his chest, he tells her about what he is, tells her about his moms warnings, about the numbness and the loss. She takes it all in and when he’s finally done she gets this look its wise beyond her years her forehead pressed against his “Oh Chuck” he stiffens but doesn’t pull away “I don’t know what to do Mako” he swallows and he’s not sure she knows the answer but she hugs him close the scent of honey and wildflowers washing over him. “I don’t know Chuck but I’m here” her eyes gain that glint that familiar steel “I will always be here” he allows himself to believe it even if he knows deep down that she can’t be he needs to be on his own that way it won’t hurt as much. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It’s like chasing a ghost at least that’s what Raleigh feels like ever since that grand epiphany in the bay he’s been trying to pin the Australian pilot down and demand answers well ask demand is something his wolf is snarling at him to do but he needs to be delicate about the whole thing. Hercules Hansen however is nowhere to be found and he knows the Aussie is still here because Tendo assured him that Lucky’s pilots weren’t leaving for another three days. So he’s a little on edge and Yancy isn’t helping he so logically explains that Herc could have picked up the scent anywhere between here and Sydney that there was no guarantee that the man knew who the smell belonged to because Come on Raleigh he’s human they can’t notice these things he hates it when his brother is right but there’s this nagging doubt in his head because Herc had given him that look and he knows down to his core that the pilot knows something. So he stalks the Shatterdome and tries to find the guy its alot harder than it should be, his wolf is going crazy because he only has three days he can feel the time slipping away. It’s by chance that he stops by the Kwoon late one evening and Lo and behold there’s Hansen well both of them. He almost wants to retreat because they're both quiet intimidating and having this conversation with Herc is going to be hard enough without the presence of his alpha brother, still he’s not a coward so he takes a breath before walking in. He knows the minute they notice him Scott’s all easy smiles posture relaxed but Herc is tense shoulders stiffening and stance widening like he’s preparing for a fight, his wolf snaps but he reigns it in. “Oi Becket” Scott gestures him closer he nods in acknowledgement “Hansen” the alpha wolf grins green depths twinkling as he slaps him on the back “Oi enough of that its Scott you drongo seen you fight kid gotta say your pretty decent Herc here’s been telling me all about it” if looks could kill he doesn’t envy Scott but instead of cowering like any sane person he just beams that bit wider “How about you two spar” “Scott” Herc looks tense jaw clenching almost too hard he smells agitated scent heavy with frustration and worry. “Oi come off it it’ll be good for ya give me some peace from all your moping” he offers Raleigh a grin moving to settle back against of the walls arms crossing. Come to think of it Herc does look tired his face has lost its usual healthy hue and there are bags under his eyes dark circles claiming the space. “I’m game” his wolf purrs he buries it because he has nothing to prove and he needs to keep on Herc’s good side, the Aussie nods albeit reluctantly tossing him a bo. He catches it with ease and waits but Herc’s content to just stand there he’s a little worried as he looks the Aussie over the guy is built like a tank that was alot of brute force sure he was a wolf but he had his limits. So he makes the first move and Herc anticipates it he’s a lethal force and once he gets going it’s takes all of his speed and skill to avoid the bone crushing blows. When Herc does land a hit it takes everything not to buckle and cry out it makes him hungry the need to beat the Aussie drives him, Scott is nice enough to keep track. He lands a hit against the Aussie’s side but is quickly rewarded with a blow to the leg. He doesn’t know how long it takes but he becomes slick with sweat but as Herc scent intensifies it makes his gut clench because there’s no trace of that mouth watering scent there’s only the scent of leather and hazel and something spicy but although its nice it’s not that scent the one which had made his wolf howl and his dreams to chase that mystery faceless stranger. It’s soul crushing causing Herc to deliver a blow to his side without his notice he staggers the pain flaring along his ribs like a sharp inferno he feels the Aussie clap his back “Alright son” he takes a breath before straightening “Yeah” he swallows offering a weak smile and Herc looks worried but answers his smile with a nod he bites the bullet “Look Herc about before” the Aussie waves his hand “Nothing to worry about” he quells the urge to shout as his wolf yips and howls “It’s just I” he swallows again because he can feel Scott watching him now “There was this scent on you and” Herc’s gaze flares even as his posture relaxes “I just wanted to know if you might know who left it there” he feels ridiculous but he has to try this is his mate after all, he can’t ignore that. Herc sighs hands reaching up to scrub at his face before meeting his gaze “I wish I could help you son but between here and Sydney it could have been anyone” he smiles to lessen the harshness of it but Raleigh barely blinks disbelief silencing his wolf because he’s lying. Humans were good at many things but their scent would always betray them no matter how convincing they were he just doesn’t know why Herc’s lying to his face. “Herc” Scott has drifted closer there’s this look of disapproval blanketing his gaze but Herc doesn’t move he offers them both a smile before reaching for his towel. He’s not sure how to react a part of him wants to punch the Aussie because this as his mate his other half how dare a human keep them apart, the other part of him could understand the guys caution because other than being a pilot Herc knew nothing about him. So he ignores the instinctual urge to tear the other pilot apart and let lose his wolf he offers a smile making sure to keep his scent warm and friendly “It’s no problem wishful thinking I guess” he doesn’t miss the look Scott gives his brother or the fight in Herc’s eyes the determined stance finally Scott looks away resigned. “Raleigh” he turns sensing his brother, concern is radiating through the bond as Yancy regards the Hansen’s he pushes as much reassurance as he can back. “Yancy” he only speaks out of respect for Herc a part of him wonders how hard it must have been for Scott to not be able to communicate with his brother like this to not have a bond hoovering between them one which required no words. “Been looking everywhere for ya kid” he shrugs stepping back it feels good having Yancy near him knowing his brother would be the first to quell any inappropriate instincts namely the urge to rip apart one Herc Hansen. “Just a quick spar” Herc’s watching him there’s something like pity lingering there he wants to scream but refrains a hand falls on his shoulder warm that scent washing over him home family “Let’s grab dinner” he feels the gazes burning his back “Oi Becket” he half turns because Scott looks conflicted and is diligently ignoring the scathing look Herc’s giving him “good luck with your search yeah the guy could be closer than you think” Yancy drags him away before he can answer he doesn’t know how to respond until it clicks into place and then he’s smiling because Scott had said guy it was a purposeful slip one which has his wolf panting with excitement. “How’d it go” is what Yancy asks what he means is did your dumb plan work he shrugs “Herc says he doesn’t know” he knows Yancy feels his anger his disbelief “Well I” he glares stopping his brother from saying anything further “He was lying to me I just don’t know why” its Yancy’s turn to look furious his scent sours with fury shoulders becoming rigid “He’s got no right look kid I know I might not be big on the whole mate thing but if he knows who yours is his gotta tell you” he stops him, from storming back to the kwoon with a hand pressing into his chest. It's a relief knowing how far Yancy’s willing to go for him but he needs to play this carefully “Yancy it's fine I’ll work it out besides” Scott's words ring through his head “it looks like I’ve got at least one Hansen's willing to help me” he ignores the resignation washing over his brother but enjoys the familiar arms slinging over his shoulders “It would be you” he knows his brother means the unfortunate circumstances but he can be just as stubborn as any Hansen and he’s not going to stop until he finally gets his mate even if it means taking on one Herc Hansen “Race you to the mess” he hears his brothers huff of indignation as he pushes him aside breaking into a run. “Hey!” it's on kid he bites back his laugh promises promises. He feels lighter with Yancy by his side he knows he can do this besides Scott had said guy its time he did some digging. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's never the same after that night Scott comes to him the next day but Chuck stays willfully ignorant about the whole thing eventually his uncle gives up but he knows how concerned the guy is. His dad is oblivious well up until he hears him having a screaming match with Scott one night after that his dad tries talking to him but he’s quick to bite he doesn’t need his dad lying to him he knows he meant it so why bother hiding it. If he was good before after the whole incident he becomes a beast in the kwoon even Mako has a hard time keeping up with him, he’s miles ahead of the other candidates and it shows his lectures are a little scared by how good he is but proud too. He embraces it hungers for it becoming a pilot becomes his life he pours over the tech and studies for hours at a time everything else is irrelevant. Some of his instructors recommend he go into the tech department because of how good he is it’s easy machines are uncomplicated their simple in a way people aren’t its exciting working with them but he wants to be a pilot so he turns them down. His classmates are envious of him some dare to suggest he’s only doing well because of who his dad is he’s quick to prove them wrong beating them in and outside the kwoon, it’s satisfying hearing the snap of bone and the taste of blood taunting his throat he snaps and bites and it feels almost too good seeing them retreat Mako is the only one who looks beyond his walls the only one who can still talk to him. Some days he screams at her tries to push her away but she stands firm scent charged with that protective edge and love the first time he smells it he’s thrown and stubbornly ignores the flutter in his heart. She’s not embarrassed about it she gets this odd look of determination one day when their sitting in the bay overlooking some of the Jaegers both wondering what their very own Jaegers will be like Mako’s hoping for something fluid and sleek he’s not too picky. He’s about to point out how efficient swords would be when she gets that look and leans towards him, he thanks whoevers out there for his ability because he hears her thoughts first I just want to try he’s so attractive so instead of catching his mouth her lips skim across his cheek as he leans back alarm catching his chest hands digging into the metal beneath his legs “Mako” it comes out more strangled than he would like but she only looks confused cheeks flushing that lovely crimson shade he ignores the tempting surge of blood focusing on the slight frown gathering at her brows. “ Yes Chuck” she sounds calm a bit exasperated like he’s the one who’s acting out of sorts. He touches his cheek swiping at it harshly because though her lips had been warm it had felt wrong beyond wrong Mako was attractive though he could tell she was going to grow into a very tempting woman but she was like his sister he couldn't wouldn't see her like that, just the very thought of it sent a sliver of nausea across his gut and disgust to pluck at his veins. “I” that flush increases before that steely determination enters brown pools as she straightens “Chuck you are probably the most attractive man I met and I just wanted to see if maybe” she shifts almost shy “I just wanted to see if maybe there was something there between us and well” another shift so unlike the cool composure he was familiar with “I wanted my first kiss to be with someone I trusted” he melts a little at that because of course he should have seen it coming “Mako” she gives him a look so he aims for another track “Well any spark then” she glares arms crossing indignantly over her chest “I couldn't really tell I wasn’t expecting you to jump like I was electrocuting you” he flushes swiping at his face “Oi I did not” because he needed to save face least any know that Chuck Hansen had jumped a mile at something as innocent as a kiss he would never hear the end of it. She laughs head coming to lean against his shoulder and her scent is familiar and comforting she was his sister and despite the grossness of it all he finds himself pulling back and taking her face firmly between his hands. She’s warm the steady beating of her heart pounding against his palms, his canines ache but he just breathes, he could do this. Her scent sparks with surprise and he catches a brief Chuck screaming across her thoughts before he kisses her he’s not sure if he’s doing it right her lips are surprisingly soft and almost too warm but it’s nice kind of but no more pleasant than a firm hug. Still his heart beats a steady rhythm in his chest because he’s fighting the instinctual urge to lean across her lips and latch onto her throat because he can hear that accelerated rhythm of blood thudding under her skin. He angels his head a little and this feels nicer but nothing mind blowing or all consuming so he pulls back because he owed her at least one kiss. She blinks and he can’t help but chuckle because she looks so dazed so out of it eventually she blinks and he hears her heart slow he breathes focusing on the Jaegers until her hand links with his. “So any spark” he sounds smug but can’t hide it she huffs but there’s that fondness blanketing her scent “You are an amazing kisser Chuck” its said so factual he rolls his eyes hiding his blush because it wasn’t like he had practicing or anything “But” she elbows him brown eyes glittering “But I am happy to say that other than being the best kiss I’ll probably have it wasn’t exactly romantic” she squeezes his fingers happy content “Your like my brother Chuck I just had to be sure” he elbows her back “Your loss drongo” he accepts the punch with grace and doesn’t huff. It feels nice though knowing that she’s here for him despite his flaws and given what he is sometimes he thinks without her friendship he would lost.Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It’s a day after his birthday that his dad comes to him he just wants the conversation to be over before it's even begun. He’s on a high though because he’s passed he’s going to be a pilot the youngest on record, Mako had been overjoyed for him but also sorrowful he knew how much she wanted it sometimes they had talked about being each others pilots but Pentecost wouldn’t allow it she had left yesterday and seeing her go had been more than difficult like swallowing a thick wad of ice but she was adamant about keeping in touch even if her eyes had glittered with those unshed tears. He had been hoping to avoid his dad Scott and him were due to fly out tomorrow so he had been keen to escape the awkward stilted conversation, he loved his dad but these days it just felt easier to push the old man away after all his dad would be better off away from the freak, the disappointment the never ending reminder of what he had given up. “Oi Chuck” leather and hazel sparked with something akin to nervousness he almost wants to hone in on it to rip apart his old man and tear but he just grits his teeth and continues examining some of the jaeger scrap, the techs liked him well enough to allow him to work on some of the cast offs. “Chuck” he curses because instead of going away the man's coming closer and he’s holding something it’s not too big or small oddly shaped his curiosity is piqued. “What do you want old man” he wants to revel in the satisfaction the jab brings watching his dad's shoulders straighten jaw clenching, scent sparking with that familiar anger, he breathes it in lets it wash over him. “Look I know we ain’t been getting on exactly but” he bites back the fury the need to bite and snap because who does he think he is but he doesn’t because he imagines his moms face just for a split second and its enough to curb the scathing remarks “Here” the bundle is being thrusted at him and let go causing him to scramble to grip it, the scent washes over him wet, and soft he holds back a gasp as the bundle parts and sure enough there’s a pup sitting right there. He’s so small and fragile looking big brown eyes gazing up at him in wonder, his heart melts warmth curling across his veins because this little thing is staring at him like he’s the universe like he’s the only thing that matters, no one's ever looked at him like that. He hears the little pitter patter of his heart beat but for once there’s no urge to bite to hurt he cuddles him close breathing in that scent as he coos “Ain’t you handsome” his dad looks almost dumbfounded surprise sparking across his scent it's a nice change from the usual anger and worry, then it churns into something softer more affectionate lips twitching up into a smile. “Thought you might like him late birthday gift yeah” he can’t look away from those big brown depths fingers sliding across fur with reverence he wants no needs to protect this little thing “Thanks old man” there’s no spite behind the words this time because for once it feels like his dad has done something right “What are you gonna call him” he smiles as a small tongue reaches out to swipe at his face and normally yeah he would probably kill anything coming that close to him but it feels right, he might be small but he’s going to need a strong name something tough and sturdy. He remembers back to a movie he watched a long time ago with his mom she had been pretty vocal about her desire for the guy to win so he smiles “Max his name is Max” his dad shrugs confused but pats his arm as he passes “Max it is then” he barely notices carding his fingers through that soft coat “Don't worry Max I'll take care of you I’ll never let anything happen to you I promise” he misses the way his dad flinches sorrow passing across his gaze before he abruptly turns away. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Lucky Seven is destroyed taken apart piece by piece everyone thinks Scott's done something wrong but he hasn’t, his uncle found his mate and he had worried for a split second he had lost his focus and then Lucky was gone. The press blamed his uncle and he was never the same because the Kaiju took more than the jaeger from him, these days Scott’s usual greens were vacant temporary blindness they said very rare especially in wolves but what did they know. His uncle left not long after packed up his mate and said fuck em he asked well begged Chuck to go with them but he couldn’t he needed to be a pilot and his uncle deserved to be happy. Then there was his dad and he couldn't just leave the old man their awkward relationship notwithstanding. Mako expresses her sorrow is adamant about coming over to see them but he persuades her not to the last thing he needs is her getting in trouble with Pentecost. There’s a wild clamour about who’s going to be his dads new co pilot and it doesn’t take long for them to start building another Jaeger. By then he already started the lengthy process of drifting and no one is a match with him because the very first time they hook someone into his brain he takes over. He’s had years of shielding his mind and controlling thoughts, his ability even allows him to force others to submit to his will, he’s perfected it and it came in handy especially when people questioned his lack of injuries in fights. Erasing memories was easy so drifting was almost too easy because he brought nothing with him. The very first time someone tried drifting with him the poor guy had screamed said it was like being submerged into a black hole because Chuck didn’t let anything show, he learned not to do that again. So he let a few select memories through but it was all carefully controlled because he couldn't risk anyone knowing what he was and still no one could keep up. Each candidate was sloppy hopeless he wasn’t sure which was worse the disastrous drifts or the beating he gave them in the kwoon because no one could match him, it didn’t help that he knew their moves before they acted on them sometimes he tried allowed them to hit him or create and nice little dance that made people think they could be compatible, he could fake it but in the drift it always came apart because no one could handle him or keep up, they were all so out of control. He watched them chase their RABBITS and struggle to hold their footing but sharing a head space was too much for most of them. In a way he was glad because it weeded out the strong from the weak because he knew most of his fellow candidates would never be able to handle a real fight it was one thing thinking about it another to actually face one, so in a way he was doing them a favour. Their resentment grew as did his frustration because he was ready he wasn’t the problem it was them they couldn’t get their shit together and all the while the Kaiju were out there killing and mercilessly destroying everything in their path. He shared his fury with Max who of course would happily wag his tail and slump against him he wasn’t sure what he would do without the guy, aside from Mako Max was his closest friend even if his thoughts mainly centred on food, play and affection. Then someone had an idea if he ever found out who it was he might be tempted to kiss them, drifting with his dad was strange because his dad was like a inferno but it was a controlled fire one which served a purpose and Chuck well he was like a ghost drifting through his dads head only there if you knew where to look. His dad had been surprised when he learned how little of him there was in the drift after their first successful attempt the old man had grabbed him “You don’t have to hide from me son” the pain and sorrow stopped his instant fury so the next time they tried he allowed himself to show just little snippets nothing too deep or raw but afterwards his dad had clapped him on the back and there had been this pride in his scent and eyes. His dad was an inferno but he was a lightning storm and they were perfect together, being co pilots helped to ease the stain in their relationship and then they were gifted Striker Eureka. She was beautiful and had blades something which made him almost giddy, their first fight had been invigorating and afterwards he finally felt like he had gained his dad back. He couldn’t resist having them put Max in their new logo his dad had scoffed but had gone along with it. He had then decided to get the logo on his arm now that had been painful and he had needed his dad to help because a vampire’s skin healed instantly the moment it was cut so they literally had to saw in the image with one of Chucks teeth and ink it before the wound closed. It had been painful and if he hadn’t used one of his own teeth probably impossible but he had the tattoo on his arm. His dad was impressed and Mako when she learned of it. It felt good better than good because every Kaiju they killed he saw his mother's face and heard her gentle laugh but then it all changed like a domino affect. Knifehead happened and after that after losing two great pilots one dead and the other missing the tide changed it started getting harder to fight the beasts, he had never been more thankful for his regeneration because he could last hours take every broken bone and cut without flinching knowing he would be healed before they even finished but his dad was only human. So he started to try and absorb the brunt of damage because he could take it his dad had been furious but he couldn't argue with facts and the truth was they were losing. The wall became the solace for the people and he had felt so angry so betrayed because a wall wasn’t going to do any good and even if he disliked Pentecost and the mans lingering glances he had to respect the wolf for fighting so hard but in the end it wasn’t enough. By the time the call came to go to Hong Kong he knew it was all over one way or another. He wasn’t expecting to feel that pull though the moment they arrived or to see a pair of brilliant blue eyes and Chuck for the first time in eleven years felt.
Mate
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----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Five years it’s been five long empty cold years, time passed in a blur and he just moved aimlessly as though in a daze void of any and all feeling. At night the past haunted him Yancy’s final cries echoing across his skull in a chaotic rhythm never stopping not for a moment, during the day the demons whispered to him encouraged him to leap from some of the scaffolding he was often perched on and just let go because it all hurt too damn much. He had lost everything and it was his fault why hadn’t he listened why couldn’t he just let go of that cock sure attitude that coat of invincibility cloaking his skin Yancy had warned him never get too cocky but he had and now Yancy was gone all because he had been selfish a stupid child playing hero uncaring of the consequences. His family was gone he was alone the bond broken an aimless mass of flesh and bone just wandering searching for some meaning again, he never heard from Jazmine a part of him hoped selfishly so that she just hated him but deep down he knew the odds of his little sister still being alive were slim. The Kaiju kept coming but he just couldn’t do it anymore without Yancy he felt empty he would be nothing short of a liability stepping into a jaeger with anyone else, he couldn’t do it have another inside his head again couldn’t face the likelihood of hearing another person die as they were tethered to him so he ran. A part of him knew how pointless the wall was but there were little if any options left jaegers were falling left right and centre humanity was on the brink one step over the edge and there would be nothing left, he had heard whispers some of the mages were planning hoping that by combining their magic they could hold back the brunt of the trauma the Kaiju would cause could garner some means of survival but he knew it was only a pipe dream. His wolf clawed at him howled at him to go back to at least die amidst his fellow soldiers to die with some honour instead of huddling like some coward here in the wilderness but he couldn’t. The Marshall had been understanding but he had seen that disappointment that heavy weight of judgement crossing his brow he blamed him they all did, Tendo couldn’t even look him in the eyes he didn’t blame any of them it was what he deserved after all joining the program had been his idea, disobeying orders had been his choice Yancy had only followed. His brother had always stood by him given him the strength and courage to fight, had always been the voice of reason the one who could keep him grounded and he had killed him. How could he stay after that so he ran but no amount of distance could erase the past could eradicate his sins at first people recognised him would often come up to him and offer their condolences it only made him that bit more furious not at them they only meant well but at himself eventually they stopped coming and these days if anyone recognised him they said nothing but he could see the judgement in their gaze the heavy weight of their accusations whenever the news reported the fall of yet another jaeger. He learned to tune it all out but then one day something made him wake up and he felt a spark the stirring of feeling again. It all started out like any other day working on the wall was both dangerous and fulfilling at least it gave him some means of survival but the news announcement caught his attention usually he didn’t bother to watch such things anymore they only made the guilt claw at his chest made his wolf howl with shame but that day something compelled him to stop and look. Sure enough it was a piece centring on Striker’s latest kill before the jaeger was being hauled off to Hong Kong he recognised Herc the older Hansen looked weary tired beyond his years and was sporting dark circles and a colourful array of bruises along his jaw, he felt a stab of sympathy he had heard of what had befallen Scott how the man had disappeared after Luckys untimely end the exact details were unknown but his heart went out to the man he had always respected the Aussie team they were efficient worthy of respect and admiration. He was about to turn to go off to some corner and scoff down the meagre rations he still had when he saw him, Chuck Hansen so young so arrogant and self-assured. He froze because he could admit that Herc was handsome in that rugged sort of way but his son well Chuck shone the sheer beauty was almost painful to look at but his wolf was standing upright at full attention practically screaming at him to take a closer look. So he did subtly elbowing the others out of the way he couldn’t peel his eyes away something stirred in his chest a silent alarm pulling him closer unlike his father Chuck appeared unruffled not a lock of hair out of place not a single sign of any sweat slicked skin as he brushed past the cameras with barely concealed annoyance so put together for someone who had just been involved in a brutal fight yet there was no bruises no broken bones or split lips. He tilted his head unconsciously trailing a hand against his chest because he was more than intrigued, not much was known about the younger Hansen the man was not known for his tolerance of reporters that much he knew the kid would always allow Herc do the talking before quickly ambling away but one thing was clear the man could fight Striker had the highest kill count to date a part of him the old competitive part of him itched to take the kid on in the kwoon he could only imagine how brutal the Aussie would be if he was anything like his father. He craned his neck as the reporter attempted to follow the young Aussie unconsciously licking his lips because the kid was more than beautiful to look at there was something dangerous barely concealed behind that stoic mask that arrogant swagger and he felt himself responding fire lightning his veins desire plucking at his gut it was almost foreign he hadn’t felt such a thing in so long but damn this kid. He couldn’t look away could barely hold back the snarl as the camera was forced to focus back on the now dead Kaiju as the Aussie team disappeared from view. His wolf was distraught but he forced himself to move away to take a deep breath to clear away these sudden unexpected feelings the intensity alone made him sway and he couldn’t understand it, of course he had heard about Herc’s new pilot had heard about every victorious kill but he hadn’t seen the kid before and the sight was unsettling because his wolf hadn’t behaved so wantonly before not since that day back when he had first smelt that scent that tantalising aroma of mate it was just a coincidence that’s all his wolf was just getting crossed wires. The assurance did nothing to calm his racing heart to quell the frantic whispering of his wolf that night he dreamt of stormy depths of slick skin pressed against his own of teeth biting into his neck and fingers tailing across his heated flesh. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry the following day when the unmistakable figure of Pentecost stood at his door as formidable and unrelenting as always offering him one last chance at salvation. He didn’t have much of a choice but when he accepted he felt his wolf howl and for the first time in a long time he allowed himself to smile to feel something other than guilt and shame if he was dying he was at least going to die as a solider not the coward he had been for so long. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Chuck hated feeling like this his throat burned aching as his canines struggled to stay hidden away occasionally lengthening enough to nip at the inside of his cheek. He took a breath forcing them away remembering his mother’s lessons but he was tired worn out from their last fight the Kaiju had been big smart too with enough brute strength to make worry swirl in his chest, his old man had gotten a new selection of bruises more to add to the ever growing collection. He hated how tired the old man looked how weary and worn out he appeared not that he would ever say anything out loud, he felt more than guilt for not being able to stop the blows his dad had taken on if he had it his way the old man wouldn’t suffer from anymore split lips or blossoming bruises but his hands were tied he was powerless. Now they were heading for Hong Kong the Marshall couldn’t even offer them a slight reprieve the wolf was more intent than ever relentless in his pursuit to end the coming end of days he didn’t blame him but it still didn’t sit right with him fleeing to Hong Kong felt like giving up felt like failure but he had seen how broken they had become the jaegers were no longer invincible he had watched team after team die had heard their screams as they were pulled into oblivion. His old man never said it but he caught enough in the drift to know the man worried that he despised himself for the relief he felt when it wasn’t them dying that it wasn’t him being plucked from the conn pod. He sighed ignoring the way the old man watched him the urge to snap was ever present but he just felt too tired too worn to even consider starting another verbal sparring match at least he would be seeing Mako again. His friend had been almost euphoric when she informed him of their reunion the past few months she had been accompanying the Marshall scouting for the last jaegers who would stand against the never ending amass of Kaiju the last soldiers who were willing to sacrifice themselves for one more chance one more hope, her enthusiasm encouraged him but deep down he knew how futile it all was. He scrubbed a hand across his face willing the thirst to subside at least for a moment the steady thump of his dads heartbeat only made his mouth water family or not he was hungry it had been days since his last feed he didn’t normally leave if for so long but there hadn’t been much time the Kaiju had pulled him away and he had been going since now he was tired body exhausted despite his abilities he had his limits he craved a long nap, a shower and a nice drink of course all three were unlikely but he could dream. He knows what’s waiting from them when they land miraculously the Marshall had scrounged up the Wei’s and Kaidanovsky’s to aid in this last endeavour he’s a bit excited the Russian team are a formidable force one worthy of homage and respect even the fact that their wolves doesn’t diminish the sheer respect he holds for the pair he’ll be sure to keep his distance though. The Wei’s are another story they had met before, one had attempted to seduce him it still made him smile cocky little guy had balls he’d give him that but he couldn’t get too close Mako was the exception he had seen too many die seen how grief tormented those left behind, he could barely withstand the loss of his mother couldn’t begin to try and feel that way again so he kept those walls up despite how the old man would give him those little disappointed looks every time, despite how his scent would sour with sorrow and pity. He briefly wonders who else will be joining them Mako had mentioned needing someone to pilot Gipsy the old jaeger had been restored despite the sheer amount of damage the jaeger had been salvageable in a way he’s glad the machine was a piece of art a beautiful specimen of power and force he had a sneaking suspicion Mako intends to pilot her he also has a sinking feeling he knows who their hoping to get to be her co-pilot but it’s not his place to say anything it’s not his business. Finally they reach the hanger doors he doesn’t react to the slight bitter twist in his dads scent or to the thoughts slipping through the air he focuses on breathing on the steady thump of his own heartbeat as they pile out, he’s itching to be free of the drivesuit already but he’ll have to wait. Thankfully he’s given a wide berth his reputation it seems proceeds him and he’s grateful last thing he needs right now is anyone slipping into his personal space, his throat is screaming and his eyes are beginning to sting as his canines throb he needs to eat now. The familiar scents of the hanger wash over him metal, iron and of course the violent cocktail of others, sweat mixing with each unique fragrance it makes his head spin causing his to swallow reflexively. He feels his dad press a hand to his shoulder briefly and he doesn’t say it but he’s grateful because the touch grounds him the familiar scent of leather and home eases away the other overwhelming aromas giving him the chance to just breathe and refocus. Thoughts buzz around him like an angry hive but he’s controlled enough by now to block the majority out to ignore the steady hum surrounding his mind and then he smells it wildflowers and honey and he can’t prevent the smile stretching across his face. Sure enough when he angles his head there’s Mako brown depths glimmering with anticipation and happiness scent heavy with excitement and contentment its nice makes him shake off a bit of that tiredness encasing his bones. His dad moves before he gets the chance to even Max is already over there eagerly rolling on his back basking in the attention he refrains from rolling his eyes but can’t help scoffing even though no one hears it. Its only as he takes a step forward that he sees that she’s not alone and he’s usually more aware of such things in fact he’s a little annoyed at himself for becoming so distracted. Sure enough the Marshalls there as stoic and formidable as ever he bites back the urge to snap because the wolf still sets him on edge still makes his skin tingle because he knows the man watches him whenever their forced to share the same space knows the man is always analysing him gaze piercing and intent that scent often churning with interest, sure enough the moment the wolf catches sight of him those thoughts are back more intrigued than ever as that calculated gaze rolls over him with almost deliberate slowness. He resists the urge to bare his fangs to leap forward and tear the man’s flesh sometimes he thinks this side of him has more control, this primal creature dictating most of his actions he wishes that his mother had lived longer was around to help him through all this madness he misses her the wolf only makes him miss her that bit more because he remembers how much she mistrusted him how cautious she was. Becket it’s a stray thought emitting from his dad but it forces his head to snap up and sure enough it is Becket the man who had suffered a fate worse than death the man who had disappeared all those years ago. He just looks and the world just stops the moment he claps eyes on the seppo, his chest sings tugging him forward and it takes everything in him to just stay still because suddenly it feels like everything’s right like some missing puzzle piece has finally fallen into place. Everything else fades around him there’s only that blue gaze pining him his heart skips palms tingling, even his thirst is forgotten he’s never felt anything like it, he almost closes his eyes because whatever this is its intense all-consuming drawing him closer he wants to run to press the man close and bury his face in his neck to inhale that scent to drink him in and what a scent it is how could he not have noticed it sooner. Its mouth watering deliciously seductive there’s fire to it, something spicy and alluring but underneath there’s a softness it reminds him of summer of a blizzard sweeping through an autumns sky, there’s a splash of cinnamon a brush of firewood it soothes something deep inside of him the man smells heavenly but that’s not what makes him flinch visibly shake because Becket smells like home and the word surges through his brain some primal part of him recognises all this for what it truly is Mate. For just a split second he imagines it envisions crossing the space between them and pulling the stupid seppo against him pictures the surprise before understanding dawns, he yearns for it every inch of him begging him to just go to finally find piece to feel again. He takes a breath it’s like a tidal wave crushing him because he remembers all too well the loss of her the pain the agony remembers the promise he made to himself to never let anyone get too close it was for the best and finding his mate changed none of it because at the end of the day Beckett was here to throw away his life just like to rest of them he was going to die they all were and if by some miracle he survived he couldn’t bear dealing with the pain the loss the eternal emptiness losing his mate would bring he couldn’t wouldn’t. His hands tighten into fists and he decides then and there he’s going to push the man as far away as he can because it’s for the best he’s really sparing Becket from more pain from foolish idealistic hope besides his gaze drops just as Mako stands he knows Becket’s a wolf he can’t trust a wolf uncle Scott aside they were dangerous he wasn’t going to be anyone’s slave he almost laughs because fate seems intent on making his life as miserable as possible its almost too cruel to be mated to a wolf he could have handled anything else Goddamn it he was even willing to take on a mage anything but a wolf but he was never lucky never deserved any true happiness no matter how brief. So he sets his face into a mask of impassiveness he’s going to do what he does best he’ll snap and bite as hard as he can until the seppo hates him until the man would rake himself over hot coals before speaking to him it’s for the best so he whistles sharp and swift and sure enough Max bolts towards him all too eager to be reunited. Max is his anchor as he strokes the soft fur as three pairs of eyes watch him keeps him grounded as the rest of the world begins to sweep back in the sharp sounds the shrill screeches of thought and the thirst tearing through his throat primal and fierce. His old man gives him a look of confusion scent sparking with concern but he pushes it aside ignores the way the Marshall offers him a tight lipped smile and the way Mako starts towards him lips stretched into a welcoming grin but edged with confusion, her scent sparks with worry when he straightens honey churning to a bitter metallic tinge, ignoring the incoming party completely he heads towards the techs skin itching with the weight of their gaze but he needs to go needs to get out of here and breath because it’s all too much. Max follows him and he’s grateful but he hears their thoughts they bombard him interesting what’s wrong, I should go after him he keeps walking because he’s used to his old man’s stray thoughts of worry, of Mako’s concern but Becket's thoughts almost stop him entirely almost make him turn back and just accept fate but he presses on because he can’t won’t become that broken mess again it’s better this way for everyone but Becket's thoughts torture him haunt his every step as he moves further away
Please don’t go
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The ride to Hong Kong doesn’t last as long as he expects a part of him wants to turn back to just end his days at the wall because the wall was safe predictable the perfect end to a coward like him but his wolf urges him on so he buckles down and just goes with it. The Marshall is as approachable as ever the older wolf often sparing him a glance almost as though he were questioning his own choice because he knows he’s nothing like the pilot he used to be has none of that cocky self-assured arrogance or confidence his former self held he knows better now and the change seems to have caused the Marshall to re-evaluate silently. He ignores him because the closer they get to the Shatterdome the more the memories pluck at him he panics internally when they land because it all feels too much it’s like walking the path of some ghost everything is achingly familiar expect now there’s a noticeable gap beside him an empty space one which haunts him. He breathes happy to be spared from the images flashing through his skull when the Marshall introduces Miss Mori. He smiles almost smug when he recognises the smooth tongue she uses he’s happy he took the time to at least study some foreign languages, she looks suitably flushed when he answers her in the same tongue that honey wildflower scent churning with surprise and embarrassment before quickly fizzling out. There’s something about her he can’t put his finger on her gaze seems too knowing too intent it makes him squirm but he stands firm thankfully he spared from further analyses as he’s herded inside out of the blistering rain at last, his wolf at least appreciates the move he never like the rain not after Knifehead at least. He pushes the thoughts away blinking as he’s introduced to the strangest people he’s met thus far he wanted to bite to sink his teeth into Newt his apparent awe and almost idolisation of the Kaiju made his wolf see red how could any see the creatures as nothing short of monsters the loathsome parasites which had infected their world and taken so many he was elated to leave to lift quickly. He didn’t picture himself spending any time with the man unless strictly necessary, the Marshall at least looked just as irritated judging by the way his brow creased, they moved quickly. The guilt clawed at his throat breath stopping momentarily because where once an army had stood only four Jaegers remained the mighty chunks of machinery the last line of defence in a world teetering on collapse, he had known had seen bits and pieces but seeing it like this seeing just how broken they had become was devastating. It made him wonder if maybe just maybe he had stayed could things have been different could he have helped save at least one or two the weight of such loss was sobering but as usual the Marshall strode on if it wasn’t for the slight twinge the bitter twist of sorrow in the alphas scent he would think the man was uncaring. Mako kept giving him little quick glances whenever she thought he wasn’t looking it was almost as though she was analysing him making little mental calculations he almost wanted to snap because he came back to fight to try and do something not to be studied like some test tube, he refrained from saying anything though and then a bark reached his ears. He stopped short as the little bulldog all but bowled Mako over, her laugh cut through the hustle and bustle of the hanger as she bent to scrub a practised hand through soft fur, he almost bent down to join her he hadn’t seen a dog in an age he had always wanted one but there hadn’t been much time at least not when he was still a pilot even when he was younger, his parents had dismissed the idea. The little guy was adorable though wagging his tail furiously as he rolled over it was cute brought a smile to his lips out of the corner of his eye he recognised the form of Herc Hansen approaching them, automatically he straightened the man looked bone weary more tired than ever bruises glistening in the too bright light still decked out in his drivesuit the knowledge that they had just come straight from Sydney from their latest kill was sobering. He could feel that gaze studying him he offered the man a nod “Becket” a firm hand clasped his shoulder briefly the scent of sweat of pain and adrenaline filling the space between them underneath it all there was that undertone of leather that sharp twinge of hazel. “Sir” he could feel the Marshall watching him those eyes all too knowing he was saved from speaking further when a sharp whistle filled the air, it made his ears ring caught his attention and without thought he looked in direction of the sound. He could smell how happy Mako’s scent became almost too sweet, how the Marshall’s gaze piqued with interest but all of that faded away because it was Hansen and Jesus the tv hadn’t done him justice because the kid was more attractive more sinfully appealing in the flesh still decked out in his divesuit as he stroked the dog perched between his legs. He couldn’t look away and it felt like falling, his chest ached wolf howling almost tearing free, it felt like home like he had finally found what he had always been searching for those stormy depths captured him and he was willing to drown, he moved one step two inexplicably drawn he knew deep down he knew this was what he had been waiting for this was whom he had dreamed of night after night the dream he chased since childhood. He inhaled withholding the whine because he couldn’t smell anything he didn’t understand the younger Hansen must be human just like Herc so why the need for scent blockers, he could recognise their potent fragrance anywhere. He wanted to rush forward to rip the offending metal from the kids skin to press his nose right there and just breathe he knew it every single inch of him was screaming every instinct howling mate. He had almost given up hope had almost stashed away the fragile dream searing in the back of his mind but the fates had smiled on him after all he had been through finally it felt like he had a purpose again a means to continue, he took another step ignoring how Mako frowned, how the Marshall quirked those heavy depths at him because none of it mattered he needed to go to him needed to feel that skin to know it was real that this wasn’t just another dream that he was going to wake up from. Those depths ripped away from him and then he was walking away the kid was going, his wolf was frantic he almost broke into a run almost Please Don’t go! “Becket” it was Herc’s voice that brought him back lifted the heavy fog filtering through his mind lifted the almost wrathful need to chase to capture he blinked and suddenly he was back the steady hustle of the Shatterdome filled his ears once more, Mako face was twisted worry cutting through her scent in a nose curling way, he almost shifted away from her but abruptly realised how far away he had already become, he was mere strides away from where the younger pilot had been and the look the Marshall was given him made him curl in with embarrassment made his cheeks flush. He shifted his weight scrubbing a hand across his face all too aware of three sets of eyes watching him, his skin crawled he needed to go to find some slice of solitude just for moment, desperately he wished for Yancy everything had always been easier with Yancy, he ached for his brother for the familiar comfort and safety the elder Becket carried but Yancy was gone. “Show Mr Becket to his bunk please miss Mori” he squirmed under the other alpha’s gaze but another part of him a more primal part ached to bare his teeth he didn’t like the way the Marshall was looking at him didn’t like the way the man had looked at his mate. Mate the word echoed in his head made him dizzy with euphoria, his scent must have been potent with it because Mako was giving him these little smiles as she showed him to his bunk, in another life he would have been hell bent on chasing the kid down only to put as much charm into wooing the man as he could for now he settled into his bunk hefting the solid metal door closed. Silence greeted him but it didn’t matter he basked in the feeling the knowledge that his mate was here his other half the one who would understand every single part of him reflect a mirror of his soul he was terrified hands shaking but he wasn’t one for quitting he was going to track the kid down because he had been given a chance a gift beyond measure and by Goddamn if he wasn’t going to grab it with both hands. Too bad no one told him just how stubborn one Chuck Hansen was or how much he would have to suffer before fate finally blessed him again. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The silence the ice cold solitude gives him a reprieve a chance to focus and just breathe, now that he has time to think to battle the wolf back into its cage everything becomes that bit clearer almost razor sharp. Chuck Hansen was a human and despite the good looks and undeniable attraction humans couldn’t instantly recognize their mates the perfect other half to their soul the kid probably hadn’t felt anything hadn’t felt the same compelling urge to burrow close and just feel so he would have to approach this in a more traditional sense. He takes slow measured breaths because he can’t remember a time when he had to actually chase anyone he had never been in any sort of traditional relationship before only brief flings nothing important or permanent but this was his mate he couldn’t risk screwing this up. Mother moon must have a sense of humor the end of days beckoned ever closer so of course now he had finally found that missing piece it wasn’t fair all he could think of was how much he had missed all those wasted years when he could have been here hell they could have met sooner at least then that empty void would have been filled at least those demons whispering across his mind would have been given pause would have made the loss of Yancy just a tad bearable but now was not the time to linger in what could have been he had a chance and despite the circumstances he was going to grab it and crush it as close as possible, he wasn’t going to run not this time not for this. His stomach growls breaking any further thought forcing him to his feet, he still had a job to do no time for silent reflection so he forces the hefty steel open welcomes the swift bitter scent of metal that fills the hallway. The door across from his remains closed but he can smell even from here Mako’s potent scent that honey sliced with something wild he almost considers knocking the woman was intriguing steady and calm there was something soothing about her, it made his wolf curl with anticipation it had been an age since he had a friend but he could see how easy it would be to fall into it with her. Instead he follows his nose he hadn’t eaten just a slice of his rations the night before the Marshall had summoned him and being back in a Shatterdome made his stomach growl there was always a plentiful supply of food it had been something he missed just a small thing in the grand scheme of things. He can feel the steady weight of stares painting his back, hear the rough assortment of whispers he tries to ignore the guilt swirling in his gut, the prickle of his skin hypersensitive to the judgment riding their features, he knows what their thinking the fallen hero had returned nothing but a shell of his former self was this the best the Marshall could offer them, some washed up has been who had run like a coward tail tucked between his legs with every step, the one who had gotten one of their best killed because of some inflated sense of invincibility. He forces himself to stare ahead to quell the quickening of his heart panic grasping his throat, his hands shake limbs trembling but he needs to do this has to bear their stares he deserves it. Easy kid he bites back the instinctual urge to cry to whine because Yancy’s voice is as clear as ever forever taunting him, sometimes he’s glad that he can still hear that rough timbre that self-assured tone but he hates it too because it’s just an echo it’s just his own twisted mind attempting to soothe him intent on prolonging his torture the suffering he deserves. He can almost see him those blue depths sparking with concern, the way that jaw would tilt ever so slightly as he stared him down before a hand would come to pat his shoulder rough and steady all at once. He blinks because it’s not real it never is and being back here just made it that much more potent everywhere he looked he could see Yancy, the memories pulled threatened to drown him but he can’t fall apart not now so he quickens his pace and grabs a tray ignoring the looks the soft hush of whispers. “Becket” he doesn’t jump more so because he can smell that steady aroma of leather and hazel he’s thankful for his nose otherwise he would have and the last thing he needed was everyone’s belief that he was loose cannon an unstable pilot with too many issues to even be allowed within twenty feet of a jaeger to be proven right. “Sir” the Aussie waves him off almost amused by the soft twinkle in that gaze “It’s Herc think you’ve earned that right eh” he wants to disagree but those eyes broker no argument so he offers a smile instead satisfied the older pilot steers him towards one of the familiar white tables. His heart stutters once twice when he spots that broad frame, muscles tensing and flexing as he tosses the bulldog scraps,the dog eagerly accepts the food happily pressed against that broad chest and pressing a quick lick between bites to those fingers. Its wrong to feel jealous of the little guy because he looks adorable sitting there but envy sparks in Raleigh's chest nether the less a crimson flood blanketing his veins and burning his gut he takes a breath once again disappointed by the lack of scent. His wolf is tearing at his chest urging him to do something but he pushes it down he refuses to act like some instinctual animal he’s better than that and besides if he wants the kid to even consider dating him he needs to be much smarter than that humans tended to operate very differently to wolves. With false bravado he steels himself and sits down somewhat gingerly he can’t even focus on the rough timbre of Herc’s voice all that matters is those stormy depths which are pined on the bulldog giving no indication that he is aware of their presence, he silently wishes the kid would just look up just see him because this blatant display of indifference is making his wolf howl, causing his fingers to tighten almost painfully against his tray he’s glad that Herc’s human because he knows his scent is sparking with irritation knows that the faintest traces of hurt are beginning to seep through. He takes a breath to steady himself but its more difficult than he thought all that's running through his mind is mate protect claim, he tries to push away the thoughts the primal urge to just grab that face between his palms and arch that neck to the side, he can almost feel the skin beneath his teeth can almost taste the sweet shimmer of sweat under his tongue just before he clamps down that close he would be able to scent him blockers non withstanding. His teeth ache threatening to lengthen in preparation for a mating bite he stubbornly clamps his jaw shut nips at the inside of his cheek with enough force to cause the sensitive flesh to tear and bleed. Finally the kid looks up abruptly and he’s drowning he stops thinking those depths consume everything and for a moment just a moment he thinks he sees something dangerous and wanton flash across Chucks face he clings to it but then those lips part and everything changes. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx He’s not running away that’s what he tells himself finally free of the drivesuit, he’s desperate to just take a shower and breathe. His throat feels like an inferno swallowing only makes it worse the last thing he needs is anyone following him but of course he had forgotten just how stubborn Mako could be. He’s just stepped out of the room when she lunges on him he barely has a chance to react thankfully his instincts cause him to catch the bundle of warmth and almost giddy excitement just in time. It feels nice its been too long since he last held someone so for a second he revels in it breaths in that familiar scent of honey and wildflowers. Her arms wind around his waist face pressing into his chest she’s still short but everything else has changed. Her thoughts scream at him warm and comforting missed you, but he looks so tired so worn he pulls back and bashfully she follows suit “Mako” he offers her a smile and she answers in kind those brown pools twinkling “Chuck you look” she trails her gaze over him he almost wants to squirm because its almost too intense but this is Mako so he just waits, sure enough her cheeks are slightly flushed by the time her gaze settles back on him “You look taller a little too bulky though” “Oi” she laughs side stepping the arm he swats at her “I’ll have you know Mako this bulk comes in handy” “So I’ve heard” her eyebrows waggle suggestively he flushes ignoring the embarrassment curling in his gut its not something he’s wiling to admit to anyone not even his old man is aware he keeps it buried and out of the drift but after all these years despite the ample opportunities and offers he has never felt the urge or need to dabble in anything remotely intimate, his experience is non existent hell the only person he’s ever kissed has been Mako but he knows what everyone assumes how they all expect him to be a stereotypical alpha male, its not an image he’s particularly happy to wear but its one he’s stuck with nether the less. “It’s good to see you” she nods before gesturing towards the hallway “Walk with me” its not a request so with a sigh he follows he’s missed her more than he thought he would but he knows she’s curious as to why he didn’t approach her immediately he can hear the constant buzz of her thoughts circling across his skull, he tries to suppress the urge to just snap and tell her to spit it out already. Instead he takes a breath and waits some of the techs offer them nods as they pass eyes warily glancing his way before quickly skirting off he’s glad that even here everyone knows better than to approach him, word had traveled far it would seem. “You look tired” he tilts his head not expecting the almost staggering dip in her scent the bitter tinge of worry and despair “Been a long day eh nothing I can’t handle” he can feel that gaze burning the side of his face “Your last fight looked difficult” she’s threading carefully he withholds a sigh because he knows how difficult it had been the Kaiju were getting better stronger it was the reason they were stuck in this current predicament. “We could handle it” she frowns no doubt not buying his attempt at nonchalance in truth he was weary the fight still weighed heavy in his mind he was dreading the next alarm the next attack knowing that it was only going to be that bit harder. “Were you injured” her gaze is scanning him from head to toe as though she could physically see beneath the grey t shirt he wears, he shrugs offering a smirk “Me nah nothing worth mentioning the old man took a few hits though” he doesn’t bother to tell her about how many of his bones had snapped, how his nose had split and blood had trickled from his lips how if he hadn’t been born a vampire the fight would have put him in the med bay for an undetermined amount of time, that his body would have been a canvas of blacks, blues and crimsons. “Chuck” her hand falls on his arm he stiffens more so out of instinct than anything he’s all too aware of the gazes shifting their way of the quiet mumbles sharp and clear as though they were speaking right beside him. “What” it comes out harsher than he means but she doesn’t even flinch well used to his mannerisms by now “I just I wish you wouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself Herc mentioned you’ve been taken the brunt of the damage in fights and I worry” he suppresses the immediate urge to hiss to hunt down his old man damn him because what happened out there was between the two of them no one else the last thing he needed was him telling everyone their business especially Mako because those brown pools are watching him intently and that hand is now gripping him scent seeping with concern. He brushes her off giving those fingers a quick squeeze it helps to alleviate some of that concern in her scent “this is war Mako people get hurt people die if I can spare my old man some pain I’m going to do it, if I can help spare more people getting hurt even better I can handle it” she moves to interrupt cheeks flushing with some type of fury the sudden influx of blood makes him swallow hard he takes a step back putting some space between them “I can take care of myself” its said more to himself than to her but she hears it all the same “Chuck” she stops huffing “Gankona baka watashi wa anata to nani o suru tsumoridesu ka” he frowns “Oi you know I hate it when you slip into that native tongue of yours I haven’t the foggiest what your on about” she rolls her eyes hands coming to her hips “Me I find myself hard pressed to keep up with your dialect” “Eh?” he turns to face her fully “I speak English Mako” another eye roll “No you speak Australian its a completely other language in fact I might need to create a dictionary for the rest of us I get so confused when you go off on one of your rants” he tries to suppress it but he can’t help the laugh that escapes his lips she grins and damn she looks smug about it too little too late he realizes that was her intent all along. A comfortable silence washes over them its almost like being kids again except of course its Mako so inevitably she brings it up the one thing he had been trying to not think about to avoid at all costs “Sensei wishes to start compatibility trials tomorrow with mister Becket” its like a splash of cold water crashing through his chest Becket, the name bounces around his head in a relentless circle he almost wants to whisper it aloud to taste it on his tongue no not Becket Raleigh he suppresses the urge to shiver because its dangerous to even think of the mans first name too intimate it makes his chest swell with warmth makes him subconsciously reach for his chest, he can feel it if he concentrates hard enough feel that pull beckoning him to the wolf. If he closes his eyes he can hear the man cancel out all other noise, Becket's mind is tantalizing a burning fire so bright and captivating but he stops himself from reaching out, pulls his hand back from his chest before he can make contact. He clenches his hands instead forcing himself to just breathe, Mako watches him lips pulling into a frown a thoughtful quirk beginning to take hold in her gaze and damn the last thing he needs is her questioning anything because he knows what she’ll say knows she’ll encourage him to accept this thing with Becket. “Is that right” his voice doesn’t betray his true feelings its oddly flat but after a pause Mako forges on and he’s glad thanks whatever higher power is out there that she doesn’t latch on to his slight pause. “It should prove interesting I am slightly concerned though Mister Becket has a habit of being unpredictable and after his hiatus I worry he may not be at his best” he has to physically bite his tongue to not snap and Jesus whats wrong with him he shouldn’t feel the need to defend the guy he barely knows he blames this stupid connection mates his mind helpfully supplies, he brushes it aside but he can’t stop the empathetic shiver the man had suffered he could only imagine the ache the eternal pain losing his brother must have caused his initial instinct is to reach out to hunt the seppo down and offer some form of comfort. He bites his cheek instead and forces a smirk “Bet the seppo is rusty Marshall must be getting desperate eh if he’s calling that old has been in” Mako frowns scent sparking with something like exasperation “He is a pilot he knows Gipsy inside and out we need him Chuck its not as though we are spoiled for choice” its logical of course but he can’t stop the swell of panic the knowledge brings because he knows pitfall is a suicide mission knows none of them are going to be coming back but he doesn’t want Becket to join them the man didn’t need to sacrifice his own life on top of everything else he had already suffered enough. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it” she only frowns harder he takes the intense gaze because he can’t let her know what he’s really thinking finally she rolls her eyes “Give him a chance Chuck please we might not have much time left it might be best to spend our last days as allies” her scent sparks with an odd note of desperation, he stops himself from reaching out he hears her thoughts sees the vivid pictures of her parents as she turns her gaze away. He clears his throat awkwardly scrubbing a hand across his face “No promises” he puts as much cockiness and mischievousness into his voice as he can those brown pools darken as her hands fall to his arm again the touch is warm oddly comforting “No fights Chuck please” he almost wants to balk at the insinuation its not as though he goes looking for fights more often that not people mess with him first, he doesn’t often provoke them not unless their really asking for it its on the tip of his tongue to snap because he has no intention of fighting the guy his mate. He balks again rubbing a hand across his face again because if he wanted this plan to work he might just end up trading blows with the guy his stomach sinks at the thought chest swirling with guilt he pushes it aside, swallowing past the sudden lump of ice clogging his throat. He’s saved from answering by Tendo he’s never been more glad to see the man before, he glances between them gaze lingering just a little too long on him Looking good Hansen he bites his lips ignoring the stray thoughts. “Miss Mori the Marshall would like a word” Mako sighs but nods in acceptance “I will speak with you later Chuck and please consider what I said” her scent sparks with that exasperation again when he only offers a smirk but the fondness overshadows it. He waits until she’s out of sight before taking a breath of course Tendo is still lingering “Got a problem Elvis” Tendo flinches but smiles “No problem little Hansen just admiring the view” those brown depths flicker up and down almost taunting he raises an eyebrow “Keep dreaming asshole” rather than be put out the guy laughs scent sparking with fondness he doesn’t know if he wants to hit him or join in he gets distracted by the stretch of the guys throat. The steady thud of blood flutters just under the surface urging him taunting him, he wills his breath to slow as his teeth spike with a new level of pain. “Believe me I do” the guy offers a wink oblivious to the predatory way he’s now being viewed. “Piss off” it comes out a little more breathless than he would like and Jesus if that doesn’t make the guys eyes quirk in question cause those brown depths to fall to his lips. “You okay little Hansen” Tendo sounds a little breathless himself but smug too, okay now he really just wants to hit him he rips his gaze away from the steady throb in the mans throat “Don’t flatter yourself Elvis” he takes a step back the space helps distracts him just a little bit he forces himself to think of something else something like Max yeah Max picturing the little guy makes it bearable makes him look past the seductive throbbing in Tendo’s throat “Charming as always Hansen” “Oi just piss off you drongo” he makes sure to push the other man on his way past ignoring how the proximity makes him almost giddy with need makes his teeth clamp against the inside of his cheek with enough force to bruise. Tendo’s laughter follows him all the way down the corridor. He finally reaches the showers and scrubs himself raw, the water is a good distraction blocks out all the scents littering his body but the thoughts still pluck at his mind. Its like a mix tape a never ending playlist sometimes he wishes he could just make it all stop but then he remembers how proud his mom had been how awed his old man was, he shuts the water off and dresses with military efficiency. Max is already waiting for him tail wagging with impatience the old man must have dropped him off, he buries his face into the soft fur breathing in the familiar scent it soothes everything causes his shoulders to finally relax. “Hey boy I need to grab a quick bite then we’ll head to the mess okay” a lick is his answer drool covering his left cheek, he waits a beat before swiping it clean the first time he wiped it off right away Max had given him such a scathing look it gave him pause. Obediently Max waits he makes a quick trip nobody even sees him, speed is his friend the med bay is all too quiet when he enters, he knows without looking where his meal is, he makes sure to swipe a few packs before slipping back to his bunk. As soon as the door slams shut he’s ripping the pack open and then glorious delicious finally blood slides down his throat he wants to drown in it gulp it all down but he forces himself to slow down it takes everything not to tear the other packs open and just drink but he has more self control than that. His canines extend and its a relief so euphoric he almost cries how long had it been since he dropped them, it feels like years not days. His throat finally eases the ache shimmering down no longer a raging inferno now just a steady dull throb bearable manageable, he squeezes the bag uncaring of how some slides onto his fingers its cold and he suppresses the urge to curl his nose in disgust but he’ll take cold over nothing any day. The smell is intoxicating and he wants more, the steady heartbeats of those around him taunt him through the door it would be so easy to just crack it open and grab someone maybe one of the techs it was always so much more satisfying drinking from a vein feeling the hot rush of fresh blood coating his tongue. Desire swells in his gut his canines ache with the urge to bite into flesh to tear open skin and into that delicious river its had been weeks since he had fed on anyone Christ Tendo had been fucking daring him to just do it baring his throat like that, he shakes away the primal thoughts because he knows he could never do that sure feeding on strangers was one thing plucking the memory from their minds was harmless he didn’t know them but he could never feed off someone he knew it just felt wrong it would be such a violation knowing he had taken something so precious from them without them knowing. Unbidden his mind turns to Becket he can’t stop the moan that slips from his lips because just thinking about it makes desire pool in his veins makes him almost drunk with it, he can just imagine how glorious the man would taste his scent was mouthwatering intoxicating he could only imagine how delicious his blood would be sliding down his throat coating his fangs. His grip on the bag tightens causing the fragile material to tear apart he licks his lips but the taste is no longer satisfying he feels empty, he swipes at his mouth taking every drop away. He resists the urge to lick the smudges from his fingers stumbling to the bathroom he washes his hands free until the crimson liquid disappears. Max just watches him he feels almost embarrassed as he tosses the bag away quickly placing the others away he knows the little guy doesn’t judge him but he still feels shame creep along his spine freak the word flickers across his skull even after all this time it haunts him its the reason he never feeds in front of the old man, no matter how much Striker had brought them together she hadn’t fixed everything he could still remember his dads words still remember the disgust he couldn’t forget any of it. Satisfied that he looks unruffled he whistles for Max and the two make their way to the mess, food was something he enjoyed despite not needing it to survive his mom had teased him that he could blame his dad on that one. The hustle and bustle of the mess greets him he carries Max the rest of the way using the bulldog to ground him, the scents wash over him in a thick wave suffocating and volatile, the thoughts swarm his mind insistent Marshall’s crazy, need to look over the schematics, I love her hair, Hansen’s looking good, Damn I forgot to tell Katie about that, Becket never thought I’d see him again. He breaths Max in glares at anyone who lingers on him just a little too long he forces himself to tear food off Max is all too happy to settle against his chest reaching up eyes pleading he scoffs but gives in. Slowly it all ebbs away its just him and Max if he wants to he can drift right back in glide through their thoughts pick whatever catches his eye but he’s tired and the constant noise is giving him a headache, he can already feel the painful throb starting up behind his eyes he needs to sleep it feels like an age since he was in his bed and then he hears the old man. Chuck be on your best behavior he almost looks up and he’s glad he doesn’t because he can smell him a mile away Becket unconsciously his grip on Max tightens the bulldog huffs but offers no complaint still he curls his fingers through his coat in apology he better not be but he is. Sure enough their coming this way from the corner of his eye he tracks their progress Becket looks tense nervous, almost curling in on himself the sight makes his chest clench sure enough the old mans with him and he’s going to kill him family or not. They sit down the old mans practically glowing scent sparking with relief and something like anticipation it puts him on edge straight away. He studies Becket as Max licks his fingers silently begging for more the guy looks tired worn out there's dark circles under his eyes skin a little too pale for his liking, its not hard to see the grief its practically screaming from every feature coupled with guilt. He swallows all too familiar with that particular feeling Chuck he ignores the old mans silent warning keeping his gaze down he needs to do this he has to get it together but he feels a little betrayed ambushed he wasn't expecting to see Becket so soon he’s not ready. His skin prickles with agitation he’s glad for the scent blockers least Becket start getting the wrong idea. Another quick glance he notices the tight grip the white knuckled hold on the tray and he hates himself for it but he knows what he has to do because its going to be easy too easy to make this guy hate him he can practically see every weak spot every nerve it will be like taking candy from a baby. Becket's transparent he’s not sure if its because of their connection or because of his abilities but he knows what Becket’s worried about knows what buttons he’ll press knows just what to say to get a rise out of the guy. He hates himself the guilt is already clawing at him a silent alarm ringing through his head but he has to Becket's better off without him. So he buries it all down pushes it somewhere deep inside into that little black spot in his head the box he never opens then he smells it the sweet tang of blood his head shoots up without his consent and Max wiggles annoyed in his lap but he can’t help it, he breathes it in its intoxicating he just wants to reach over press his teeth into the flesh of Becket's throat to taste that sweet elixir bathe himself in it. He catches a brief glance from the old man and its enough to push those thoughts away, he takes a breath ignoring the delicious scent across from him focuses on the steady hum of voices behind him. He shifts only slightly but its enough because Becket is staring at him blue depths crippling with need with such a deep sheathed longing, it takes everything to ignore it to force a smirk on his face. Chuck don’t the anger is already there sparking from his dad in thick waves there’s an odd note of desperation to it too it wouldn’t be the first time he disappointed the guy so he ignores it all. He notices how Becket's gaze falls to his lips however briefly before those eyes slid right back to his face, he memorizes the mans face because by the time he’s done Becket's not going to want to see him again mates or not. Max wiggles again and selfishly he just watches just for a second long enough to see how something like fragile hope curls across those blue pools,the sight is enough to push him into action because he can’t bear that can’t take seeing something so bright and beautiful begin to take shape it was now or never. Smirk still in place he starts the words begin to fall all too easily from his lips at first there’s nothing but then the nickname gets him a curt glance, those knuckles tighten further, it hadn’t actually been his intent to say it the nickname could in any other circumstance be affectionate but seeing the way Becket coils like a spring ready to explode he hones in on it “So when’s the last time you jockeyed Ray”. Stop he ignores the old man its almost satisfying in a sick kind of way how he keeps going its like the thrill of the hunt in some ways he knows just what will hurt the poor seppo the most but despite it all, all he gets is a glare those blue pools darkening to a silent storm. It shouldn’t thrill him but it does “About five years” the reply come from tight lips he resists the urge to glance at those lips focus Chuck “So what have you been doing for five years something pretty important I reckon” he keeps that smirk and he knows how its getting to the wolf sees the way the guy is physically starting to tighten up muscles locking ever so slightly. He shouldn’t like it but for some reason seeing that fire knowing that he can get to Becket with just a few well placed jabs is thrilling makes something deep and primal in him purr. He almost doesn’t hear Becket's response “I was in construction” he doesn’t need to hide his true feelings this time because seriously the wall that’s where the guy had been and it’s not because he’s angry for the guy trying to make a living no he feels insulted by the fact that Becket one of their best pilots had been reduced to that to becoming just another poor soul wasting his life away on a defense which would crumble in minutes. Its such a waste such a disgusting end to the guy its not right not a fitting end to a pilot but then again maybe it was for the best because he can see how haunted those eyes are, the loss of a co pilot was devastating couple that with the fact it was the guys brother and its no wonder he decided to just get away as far away from anything remotely associated with the PPDC as possible. That urge to comfort bubbles up inside him again so he presses Max closer he has to damn it but it takes everything there’s a hollow pain starting in his chest the more he resists that pull that phantom ache beckoning him closer. For Gods sake Chuck there’s such irritation such disappointment sparking from the old mans scent its enough to make him plow ahead in a way it grounds him makes him remember just why he’s doing this. “Yeah well that’s great that’s really useful you know when we get into a fight you can build our way out of it eh Ray” finally it happens that control slips just for a second there’s blue depths rage with blue fire as those muscles coil with restrain “It’s Raleigh” Becket draws it out each letter punctured with irritation with barely suppressed fury. That glorious scent has darkened its like fire dangerous and all consuming it puts his senses on high alert the primal urge to attack becomes prominent fighting with the urge to flee. He ignores it deliberately curls his lips upwards into the mockery of a grin and boy does it make Becket that bit more volatile absently he wonders why the wolf hasn’t struck out yet they weren’t generally known for their self control or patience but Becket doesn’t act the way most wolves do despite the fury he’s still rooted to his seat and those eyes they haven’t left his face. “Whatever look your Pentecosts bright idea my old man he seems to like you” he resits the urge to glance at the old man but he can see with just the barest flicker of his eyes how he’s staring down at his food almost with supernatural attention, he wants to reach over and snap because damn him but he’ll wait until later much later because he can already feel eyes on them and he doesn’t need to make this any bigger than needs be “but it’s guys like you who brought down the jaeger program to me your dead weight you slow me down I’ll drop you like a sack of Kaiju shit” it’s hard to breath through that scent because its not just fury there’s an odd singe of hurt to it quickly buried and the ever bitter fragrance of self loathing bullseye but knowing how he had hit Becket were it hurt most only makes his skin crawl and stomach swirl. His chest aches it’s painful almost physically so to push away from the table and suppress the instinctual urge to comfort the seppo but he resists. “I’ll see you around Raleigh come on Max” its overkill but he makes sure to drawl it out its not like he’ll have the pleasure of saying the guys name out loud again, obediently Max follows but he knows the little guys a bit put out having to leave such a banquet behind. Goddamn it Chuck! The old man’s thought screams bloody murder but he’ll deal with that later it won’t be the first time nor the last he pissed the guy off this time at least it had been necessary, he knows their exchange hasn’t gone unnoticed either most thoughts unsurprisingly sympathize with Becket some even entertain the idea of going over and comforting the poor guy. Knowing that makes his teeth ache canines twinging with the urge to clamp down on any piece of flesh that dares enter Becket's proximity and hell its not fair because the guy deserves someone to give him some comfort. He can hear the old man quickly attempting to apologize in that oh so subtle way of his it only makes him that bit more irritated, he forces himself to keep going Max follows and its a relief to step outside despite the rain the cool air helps clear his head. The voices shutter into a gentle hum just background noise for now he tilts his head up embracing the rain as it thunders down on him its pleasant refreshing even he appreciates the moment of solace because he knows the moment he goes back inside the old mans going to be on his case and sooner or later Mako too she had asked him not to start anything and if things weren’t the way they were he wouldn’t. Why couldn’t Becket have just been some guy just another stupid seppo wanting to help but no the wolf just had to be his didn’t he, Max shakes beside him unperturbed by the rain it makes him smile at least he has Max. Unfortunately he can’t stay out too long more so for Max’s sake than anything last thing he wanted was the little guy coming down with something so after a few minutes he drags himself back in, he’ll need to change again but that's the least of his worries. Tomorrow Becket would be doing his trials tomorrow Mako was going to be fighting his mate he knows she’ll be compatible knows the two will make a formidable team but his heart still sinks with the thought. He grunts causing Max to nudge against his leg in comfort he soaks it up Mako was the perfect choice for Becket in fact now that he thinks about it she would be the perfect person to help Becket she could ease his grief make him smile again. He tries to take comfort in that but his heart clenches painfully tight he ignores how it feels like the oxygen's run out of his body how, his entire being freezes at the thought, he closes his yes just breathing in and out but its in his head now Mako and Raleigh over and over he keeps breathing even as his heart begins to splinter. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He’s not avoiding anyone he’s never been the type to shy away from confrontation or a verbal reprimand but he’s wise enough to admit at least to himself that’s exactly what he’s doing. He can’t get that image out of his head no matter how hard he tries Becket had just looked so broken ,of course there had been the fury the sharp twist of irritation but it’s the hurt that he can’t stand knowing he had pushed the man so violently he didn’t deserve it. In another life he would go back he would attempt to soothe the hurt away because he didn’t mean it not any of it but it was for the best at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. Eventually though he knows he’ll have to come out he still has a job to do hiding isn’t going to get him anywhere so with a sigh he extracts himself from the little nook he found overlooking the bay and sets off. He’s almost hyper aware of the eyes on him there’s no denying their thinking about him it seems his talk with Becket had garnered more interest than he would have liked. He ignores them focusing on the steady beat of his own heart but he can feel the way his brow begins to crinkle with irritation. He keeps his focus on the steady tempo in some ways it helps to drown out the chaos of sound around him but it’s only a little trick nothing that can keep the symphony of voices at bay not forever. He veers to the left ignoring the whispers that follow him he’s too concerned with ignoring the hushed words that he doesn’t catch on that he’s being followed not a first it isn’t until he scents that familiar aroma that twist of smoke and brimstone that he quickens his pace but he isn’t fast enough the irony isn’t lost on him as the wolf emerges almost like some ghostly apparition. “Mister Hansen” he stops because it’s not as though he can do much else there’s a voice that sounds eerily like his old man in his head telling him to straighten up and be respectful, without his consent his back arches until he’s upright hands coming to rest behind his back he almost wants to snarl at himself “Sir” he resists the urge to fidget when the man draws closer there’s that look again cool calculation, he refrains from snapping barely but his skin itches in all the worst ways and his canines throb he’s not sure if he wants to bite to eat or just to remove the threat he likes to think it’s the latter. “Words reached my ears mister Hansen apparently you’re not playing nice with our latest addition” of course he mumbles a curse too low for even the wolf to hear but something in him feels annoyed they have bigger problems than his spat with Raleigh it’s almost petty the way Pentecost is calling him out on it, its something the old man would do but granted that’s expected. “Sir” a hand rises interrupting him before he can even get another word out his fangs throb and he knows if it wasn’t for the scent blockers he would be reeking of irritation he grits his teeth ignoring the smug grin he receives in turn. “I realize you may have some personal issue with mister Beckett but expect you to do your job I’m sure your already aware of what’s at stake the last thing I need is to step into any petty disagreements is that clear” his fingers curl into fists behind his back and he can hear how his own heart thuds almost painfully hard with his anger “Of course sir” he even allows his eyes to flick away for a moment knowing how wolf’s love to be in control to be the most dominant one in the room, he grits his teeth before glancing back again, sure enough Pentecost looks smug almost pleased by the action. He wants to snarl to just throw caution to the wind and tear at the wolf’s jugular but he can't he has more control than that and besides Pentecost has never really done anything to warrant such violence, it’s not like the man knows that he can hear every thought every quiet adoration. His throat is burning again sometimes he can days without feeding maybe a week or two but his emotions tend to influence his hunger anger is usually one to bring on the inferno steadily building in his throat. Pentecost looks almost curious and he can see the way he is subtly trying to scent him despite the blockers still being firmly in place. It only makes it worse he finds his gaze drifting to the wolfs neck without his consent there are so many others he could feed from but he knows that a wolfs blood is stronger sates the hunger longer he’s not sure why he had only discovered it by accident after a long night of hunting just thinking about it makes his mouth water and gums ache with the urge to just bite. Pentecost seems to be saying something but he can’t focus its like tunnel vision he can hear the constant thumping of his heart the sickly sweet rush of blood moving throughout his veins and he can’t stop himself. He doesn’t notice that he’s drifted closer until he can feel the wolfs heat almost searing against his skin he can dimly make out some words “Mister Hansen are you” but he can’t focus it’s all too much maybe its from the constant stress the never ending battle to not just drain everyone dry maybe it’s because he’s just tired but he suddenly finds himself brazenly pressing himself against the wolf. His lungs fill with that scent brimstone, smoke he inhales it and he can feel it when his fangs begin to descend it no longer matters that it’s Pentecost he’s backing against a wall, doesn’t matter that it’s a wolf or that the man is his superior all that matters is his hunger. Pentecost’s scent sparks with something sweet and sharp like citrus he barely notices it’s almost too close and too far at once the stretch of skin along the wolfs neck,he’s fixated on the steady rhythmic thumping just under his jaw where the blood flows strong and fast he can feel the tell tale prick on his bottom lip where his teeth have grown he only has to open his mouth and latch on its as easy as breathing “Chuck!” he jumps it’s like being slapped reality makes a cold and harsh appearance he’s horrified drinking in the picture he’ made. Pentecost is staring at him eyes blown wide and almost pitch black, chest heaving there’s a fine trickle of sweat moving past his forehead and his scent it’s almost too sweet and sharp at once with a lurch he realizes its arousal he’s scenting he stumbles back hunger forgotten in the wake of his growing terror. His fingers curl into fists he feels shame creeping across his skin he looks past Pentecost and the sight is even worse his old man is staring at him with something akin to horror and of course Becket’s by his side he’s not sure which is worse seeing his old mans apparent disgust or the naked rage coating Becket’s face. “Gentlemen” Pentecost is the first the break the silence calmly smoothing out his shirt if it wasn’t for the lingering sweetness in the air he would never have guess how rumpled he was before even his eyes have settled back to their calm hue. He takes another step back it’s too much but a quick rummage through Pentecost’s mind reveals that the wolf doesn’t suspect anything amiss except with a sickening lurch he realizes that the wolf now seems to think that he’s just as interested just as eager to begin this little fling. He almost hits the wall with how quickly he backs away Chuck what happened his old mans staring at him it’s almost like he doesn’t recognize him he doesn’t blame him he hasn’t lost control like this before not even when he was a sprog he had always made sure to hold onto his control with a steely grip, he’s always been so careful and he had almost thrown it all away. “What’s going on” Becket sounds almost strained but he can scent the rage the fiery wrath mingling with the sour notes of envy a part of him wishes this was some kind of dream. “Nothing for you to concern yourself with Mister Becket” and Jesus Pentecost sounds smug it’s dripping from every pore Becket’s jaw tightens and his stance widens he can see the slight tremors the way is skin seems to be almost too tight. His old man glances at Becket frowning before locking eyes with Pentecost he’s surprised to see the anger the almost cold fury, his usual scent of leather and hazel is quickly sparking with disbelief and potent fury it makes him want to hide he never liked when his old man smelt so angry so enraged. “Do you mind if I have a word Marshall” it’s said through gritted teeth Pentecost nods unfazed as usual but he can detect the first threads of worry blanketing his scent. He watches almost detached as his old man walks away with Pentecost hot on heels Don’t think we’re not going to talk about this Chuck you’ve got some explaining to do his old man doesn’t often sound so pissed off in his head but he can practically hear the sharp grind of teeth attached to the words. It spikes his own irritation but he can’t really hide behind it after all this had been his fault. His stomach clenches again disgusted with himself with what could have been was he did that much of a monster a freak to not be able to control himself anymore it takes him a second to realize with a surge of dread that Becket is still standing near him. Despite the rage his scent still draws him in that heady fragrance of home wrapping around his skin and clutching him close he doesn’t deserve it doesn’t deserve the swell of comfort he feels from it. “Chuck” contrary to his scent Becket sounds almost soft and those eyes there staring at him confusion heavy in the deep blues he wants to reach out and brush it away wants to apologize for the hurt he caused but he can’t if he does it will only end in one way. He turns away instead a part of him is all too aware of how open it leaves him he tries to push away the vulnerability he feels leaving his back open it’s not as though he knows Becket not like he can trust him not to take the opening but he knows that the seppo won’t hurt him. It only makes him feel worse he starts to walk he could run but that would look like he’s trying to hide granted though he does feel like finding a desolate corner somewhere and staying there for the rest of the limited time he has left but he knows he can’t. “Chuck” Becket’s almost too close blues dancing with silent fury but there’s something else there too he resists the urge to reach out it’s almost like a physical ache there’s something urging him close to just touch and feel even for a moment Just talk to me It’s worse hearing his thoughts the silent pleas Becket shouldn’t be pleading with him he shouldn’t want anything to do with him not after there prior conversation but Becket is relentless. “Just wait a second” he jumps when he feels Becket’s hand on his shoulder turning back with almost forceful violence to his credit Becket only blinks scent churning with a flicker of surprise before turning crisp with the first notes of determination he tries not to inhale it but he can’t help it. “What” it’s more of a hiss than any actual words but he can’t help it he’s dimly aware of how badly he’s shaking his focus is on the one spot where Becket is touching him it feels almost electric leaving his skin too hot and hypersensitive. Becket notices his gaze for a second his cheeks flush the sudden influx of blood makes his mouth water canines aching but he viciously swipes at them he tries to ignore it but now that he’s aware of it all he think about is sinking his teeth into Becket’s smooth skin it would taste exotic like nothing he’s ever had before he just knows it. He swallows struggling to breathe but he can’t because Becket’s scent is filling his airways and it’s not just his regular scent either in a matter of seconds it had churned with something syrupy sweet and inviting something which makes his own body tingle with want and interest. He tries to breathe but Becket’s inviting aroma is all he can smell and it makes him ache with a different kind of need a different type of hunger to make matters worse Becket’s thoughts fill his head in a flurry of sound he can’t escape even if he wants to What’s wrong, let me help He’s dimly aware of Becket’s hands moving of them reaching out towards him he looks so genuine so concerned he doesn’t deserve it but a small part of him craves it. “Are you okay Chuck” it’s all wrong his voice is too soft too warm it reminds him of the way people talked to his old man after his mother had passed like they were frightened of setting him off. His mother he thinks about her about what she would say if she could see him now she warned him about the wolves warned him to always be careful and here he is it feels like he’s spitting on her memory in some way. Please Chuck just trust me how am I supposed to do this if you won’t even let me in Christ Chuck your my mate just let me help you “You can’t help me” the words are out before he can stop them Becket looks stricken for a moment scent sharpening with disbelief his stomach sinks Oh God he doesn’t wait for Becket to begin to even ask “Look back off Ray just stay out of my way” he pushes him back not hard enough to cause any real kind of damage but enough to give him some breathing room. Becket doesn’t react the way any sane person would instead he quickly recovers his footing and he’s crowding close something wild and almost fiery in his gaze he can’t take it “How did you” he can’t let him finish this is already a mess he turns away and he doesn’t care how it looks he breaks into a stride moving fast because he knows the wolf could keep easily keep pace with him at least if he keeps to a regular human tempo. “Chuck wait” he doesn’t he ignores the way Becket sounds equal parts fascinated and desperate and keeps moving thankfully a crowd of techs get in his way he manages to use them to put the much needed distance between them he doesn’t slow down until he’s safely back in his bunk his breathing is ragged heart racing as he sinks against the door Max runs to him pawing at his knees until he lifts him up. He presses his face into that familiar thick coat he has to fix this first Pentecost and then his slip up with Becket he’s losing it he needs to pull it together needs to get back in control. Max whines against his neck tongue snaking out to lave at his cheek he knows he has to fix it but for the moment he’s just going to rest his eyes for a little while. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Raleigh isn’t sure what to think he tries to hide the irritation as he finally manages to get through the techs but Chuck is already long gone, he bites back his fury wolf growling. Nothing was going right he knew it wasn’t going to be easy he had expected certain difficulties he just hadn’t expected Chuck’s anger his sharp disinterest and apparent hatred. He can’t help but silently agree with the kid though after all what was he now it had been too long since he had set foot inside a jaeger who was he trying to fool if anything he would only endanger his co pilot he was nothing short of a vicious hazard he should have just stayed away. His wolf snaps at him enraged at the very idea of just giving up wasn’t that exactly what he was doing Yancy would be so disappointed he couldn’t just falter as soon as things got tough again couldn’t live out his last few days as a coward. He forces himself to take a u turn moving back to his own bunk ignoring the whispers around him it only makes him feel that familiar blanket of shame he can make out the distinctive scents of Pentecost and Herc as he moves it makes his hands tighten into fists wolf snarling because he still couldn’t make sense of what he had seen. He almost doesn’t want to believe it almost wishes he had been imagining the whole thing but seeing Chuck being so close to the other wolf his mouth hovering inches from his neck it made his heart ache and wolf howl in distress it was clear that he and Herc had stumbled in on something, something clearly intimate in nature if the Marshall’s arousal had been anything to go by. His wolf struggles to understand how his mate could do something so painful he has to keep reminding himself that Chuck doesn’t know about their connection but the thoughts of Chuck being Pentecost’s lover makes him physically ill and not just because of their bond after all the Marshall must have known the younger Hansen for quiet some time Christ the kid was only 21. He forces himself to breathe through the sudden nausea absently pressing a hand to his face Chuck was entitled to be with who he wanted he had no claim over him regardless if his wolf knew that or not but he was going to try after all mother moon had picked Chuck for a reason he couldn’t ignore that. He holds onto the feeling of Chuck the kid had felt warm he was a little ashamed of how just touching him made him so wanton his breath had been rapid and his desire potent and strong he was thankful that the kid couldn’t scent him. He wishes he had taken the opportunity to crowd Chuck to press his nose right there and just breathe to rip off that offending piece of metal hiding Chuck’s true scent from him he can feel his mouth water at the thought. He’s face flushes when he notices how some of the techs are giving him confused if not interested glances no doubt scenting his obvious desire he’s almost shaking by the time he makes his way to the safety of his bunk. He takes a breath skin too hot and tight before he realizes it he’s tugging his shirt off and pulling his pants down the air feels pleasantly cool against his flushed skin he falls backwards onto his bed the metal creaking under his weight he can feel his wolf tearing just beneath the surface desperate for release especially after seeing the Marshall pawing at his mate. God he had wanted to give in to the urge to tear the man apart to peel the flesh from his bones for daring to touch what was his and the bastard knew it and knew that he could do nothing about it. He growls allowing his wolf to briefly scratch at his skin but restrains himself from shifting he needs to focus he tries to breathe to count to ten tries every mantra him and Yancy had used over the years but nothings quelling the rage the hefty searing frustration, he could go to the kwoon and work out his rage there but the thought of bumping into anyone has him on edge. His mind returns to Chuck to those stormy depths and the feeling of the hard skin under his hands even just for a moment his breath quickens throat suddenly dry he’s not aware of his hand drifting till he feels himself tugging at his waistband he freezes he shouldn’t it almost feels wrong like he shouldn’t go down this route but he can’t help himself. His eyes fall to a close as he tugs his boxers down wrapping a steady hand around himself. He’s already hard without any stimulation it feels like being a teenager again his hips twitch he envisions standing in that hallway again but instead of spotting Pentecost its him under Chuck’s hands its him titling his neck back baring the vulnerable stretch of skin to the other pilot. His breath quickens he thinks of how smooth that skin would be of moving to push the younger pilot so that he’s caging him in those stormy depths would be wide and that fire would be there. He would lean down just enough to taunt brushing his lips over the sweet curve of his ear before allowing his teeth to scrap against the smooth skin just lightly at first before sinking his teeth in. Christ Chuck would moan he can almost hear it that rough timbre pitching into something soft and sweet he’d allow him to get closer he‘d nudge those knees apart and just slot himself right in and Chuck fuck he’d let him he’d beg him to. He wouldn’t care about being caught he’d take him there slide his hands over those hips before tugging the fabric away Chuck would worry though his skin would be flushed and those eyes would be as bright as any star but still he’d let him and how could he resist. He groans picturing it seeing that taunting flesh flexing and rippling as he jerked him upwards Chuck didn’t look light but he’d manage those legs would wrap around him almost too tight but fuck he’d like that and then finally he’d sink into that too tight heat and Chuck would cry he’d beg that throat bare for him to feast on as he threw his head back. He grunts hips fucking upwards rutting into his fist its not enough but he can image it could practically feel Chuck’s tight heat closing around him squeezing him almost painfully tight the bed creaks in warning under him but he pays it no mind. He’d force Chuck to look at him force him to realize who owned him who could give him this kind of pleasure better than any other and Chuck he’d meet his thrusts giving just as hard as he took and Jesus the kid would bite him he’d sink his teeth into him hard enough to make him feel nothing but pain for a second. He comes just like that to the thought of Chuck claiming him in the most primal way possible. His body jerks from the force of it teeth lengthened to bite and claim but he only has his own arm to sink into he ruts almost desperately riding out his high for as long as possible but eventually the pleasure ebbs away and all he’s left with is a sticky hand and a racing heart. His skin sticks to the sheets under him he pants wolf whining because it isn’t real. He allows himself to lie there for a few seconds to just enjoy the after glow a knock startles him, he jumps all too aware of the state he’s in the knock comes again he grabs his pants throwing them on quickly wiping his hand in his shirt his cheeks flush before he forces himself to go to the door. The scent of wildflowers hits him before he even opens it Mako looks a bit surprised when she looks at him he knows he must looks a sight knows his face is clearly flushed he’s glad that she isn’t a wolf at least she won’t be able to tell what he had been up to. “Mister Becket I was told to tell you that your compatibility tests start tomorrow” her gaze has shifted from his face to his arms it makes him feel the urge to tug a shirt on he knows the scars are stark against his skin even after healing in a way he’s glad for the reminder it still doesn’t make him comfortable with the way she’s staring. “Thanks” he shifts finally her eyes move back to his face her face flushes scent churning with the first notes of embarrassment he’s more surprised to scent the beginnings of arousal sharpening her scent, it makes him take an involuntary step back. “Of course I will see you in the morning Mister Beckett 6am sharp” she darts from his doorway before he can respond he watches her go somewhat amused before sighing and retreating back to his bed. It feels almost too big lying there by himself but he pushes the thought away if anything his anger has at least ebbed away. Tomorrow things will be different he needs to remember why he’s here he still has a job to do he can’t deny a part of him is nervous at the prospect of piloting again there are parts of him he doesn’t want to share but beggars can’t be choosers. He can’t help the unbidden thought though that his mate would be a perfect co pilot mates were naturally in tune with each other but he doubts Chuck would even stay around long enough to hear him out, Chuck he sighs twisting to stare at the ceiling. He’s going to have to do something about him at least try and get the kid to talk to him though he’s not hopeful considering how temperamental he was turning out to be, he heard enough rumors already about the famous Hansen temper but he’s willing to risk it. He can’t ignore this kind of gift he has to at least try one last time if Chuck still doesn’t want to talk to him then he’ll just have accept it despite how the very thought sends his wolf into a frantic howl. There’s something else though something about the other pilot that’s bothering him it feels like he’s missing something he recalls there short talk if you could even call it that remembers how Chuck had seemed to know what he was thinking it was strange too strange. Maybe he was just reading into it too much maybe it had something to do with their bond maybe the younger pilot was just picking up on it, it wasn’t unheard of mating bonds were special for a reason, no wonder the kid had looked so frantic and panicked. He sighs again before closing his eyes tomorrow he’ll try again tomorrow for better or worse an answer was better than wondering about what if. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx