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Veronica brings it up to Keith the next time she visits Acxa at the Blade outpost.“Have you spoken to Lance recently?”Keith blinks, looking up from where he's fueling one of the pods for Kolivan’s ship. “I mean technically we talk every day in our group chat.”“I mean one-on-one,” Veronica clarifies, leaning against the railing across from him. “Like a phone call or something?”The question catches Keith off guard. He can't remember the last time he heard Lance's voice. Maybe a phoeb ago? Longer?“Keith,” she says, worrying her lip between her teeth and looking up to him with the same blue eyes he would know anywhere. “I think he's sick.”
*
Keith lands on Altea and is ready to kill Lance McClain.He nearly leaps out of his ship, Kosmo on his heels as he storms up the property to a decently sized farmhouse. His fists clenched, seeing red when he sees blue.Lance spots him as he heads up. He smiles, and the corners of his eyes crinkle against the azure crescent marks under his eyes. Leaning against the front door frame leisurely, he waves. “Hey there, man!”“Don’t!” Keith says between gritted teeth, stomping up the porch steps and pointing at him in accusation. “Don’t even try to act like this is even a little bit okay!”Lance has the nerve to look surprised. “Oh?”“Yeah, oh!” Keith is fuming and he can tell Kosmo senses it because he’s getting worried, pressing his head to the back of his leg. “What the fuck, Lance? When were you gonna tell me - fuck, any of us - that you moved to Altea?”“I wasn’t aware it was anyone’s business,” Lance says, still leaning, still casual. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “And I guess, maybe for Shiro’s wedding? When he and Curtis finally agree to tie the knot and needed my new address for invites.”“You think they’re that serious?” Keith asks, thoughts derailed and Lance raises an eyebrow.“You think they aren’t?”Keith doesn’t know because all Keith can think about is being thirteen-years-old and seeing Shiro and Adam live together, making dinner and sometimes helping him with his Garrison homework. He thinks of Shiro and Adam breaking up, but Adam still making sure that Keith was going to class while Shiro was on Kerberos. He remembers Adam’s look of disappointment when Keith passed him in the hallway when he was lead out the door by Iverson when he was kicked out.It’s hard to replace that image with someone else.He shakes his head.“Stop trying to change the subject!”“There was a subject?” Lance asks, and Keith can tell by his tone he’s being genuine. “I just thought you came here to work off whatever new thing pissed you off. I’m cool with being a punching bag, but can we do this inside? The temperature drops out here at night.”Lance turns back through the door and Keith huffs in behind him, following him to the kitchen. “Did you know that I was assigned to this quadrant too?”“Not unless you told me, and in that case I ignored it,” Lance says simply, turning over his shoulder. “You hungry? I’m making Oldro.”“What the fuck is Oldro?”“An Altean bird. It's like a turkey but without the dark meat.”“Yeah, sure whatever,” Keith answers and watches as he takes an apron off the hook and washes his hands to begin prepping the meat. Keith feels his stomach growl before it hits him just where they are.Lance had moved to Altea without telling anyone.Lance had a huge farmhouse on Altea, with just him in it.And then he took a look at Lance, and really looked. He’s thinner than he’s seen him since they first came back to Earth after their fight with Honerva. When he wouldn't eat and Hunk, Pidge and he took turns staying with him and making sure he was okay. It’s been years since then, and Keith never thought he would see Lance look anywhere close to that way again.He made a promise to never let that happen.“What are you doing out here?” Keith demands, feeling breathless and wanting Lance to get that he’s angry because he’s so angry.And Lance turns and looks at him too, and suddenly Keith can feel just how empty the house is and how blue his eyes are, even when they look so tired. Then he smiles, the corner of his mouth tugging up and crinkling those marks again.“Living,” he shrugs and holds out what looks like some kind of Altean carrot. “Now grab a knife, Mullet. I need help.”Keith’s shoulders fall, his frustration pours out like water and goes to Lance because he hasn’t been able to say no to the man since he was a teenager.They spend the night talking about nothing in particular but like every time Keith is with Lance, he feels his heart beat faster, taking up room up in his chest.It's getting late after dinner and Lance refuses to let Keith head home, which at this point was really just his ship stationed at the nearest Blade outpost because in all his missions he hasn’t actually gotten around to finding a place to live yet. He offers him one of the empty rooms but Keith takes the sofa, borrowing a pair of pajamas and an oversized shirt, while Lance goes to grab blankets and Kosmo pads behind him.From the hallway, he hears echoes of coughing. His cough sounds loose and wet like thick mucus was sliding up and down Lance’s throat with each violent expulsion of air.Kosmo whines.“Lance?” Keith asks, turning into the hall to see him leaning against the wall, closed fist to his mouth, hiding.He turns around and tries to smile.It doesn’t reach his eyes.
*
Over breakfast, Keith lets it slip that he hasn’t settled anywhere since being reassigned to the quadrant.Lance asks if he wants to stay with him until he “figures his shit out.”Keith can’t remember the last time he’s said yes so quickly.Lance’s laugh is cut short with a cough.
*
Keith sees the petals for the first time when he gets in from his morning call to the Marmora outpost.Lance is leaning over the bathroom sink, running the water with the door ajar. Keith is frozen, seeing the mix of what looks like bloody mucus and something else leaves his mouth.It’s a dark pink flower petal. It looks like a juniberry.Lance turns and sees Keith.And suddenly Keith is fourteen again and climbing up the sides of the cliffs with Shiro, and he’s reaching up for a rock and losing his grip, falling ten feet to the ground, landing on his back. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from his lungs, and he lay there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything.That's how Keith feels now, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the image of Lance holding to those bloody flower petals in his hand burns itself into his mind.Lance doesn’t tell him what the disease is, but that he thought it could have something to do with the marks Allura left him with, like a strange phantom pain.That’s why he moved to Altea, to help work with Coran on developing of the agricultural initiatives and also hoped it would help whatever was happening to him.“And the coughing?” Keith asks and Lance shrugs.“That’s new,” he admits. “It was just chest pains before.”“Are you scared?”Lance turns and glances out at the stars from where they’re sitting on the front porch, Kosmo sprawled out between them.“I dunno…”“You can go to the doctor,” he says, leaning forward across Kosmo's fur. “We can go to the space hospital and-”Keith stops himself, fingers curling into fists and his eyes squeezing shut.He knows why Lance hasn't gone. It was the same reason why when Shiro's condition would falter, he refused to let Adam take him anywhere.Lance was scared he wouldn't come home.Keith feels Lance place his hand over his fist, it’s awkward but it makes him shutter out a shaky breath. He looks up and Lance is still gazing at the stars with tired eyes. * When Keith was fifteen, he knew that Shiro was sick before he really knew. It was when Keith was over at Shiro and Adam’s for dinner and to review some of his worksheets. Shiro stood up, looking ghost faced before excusing himself to go to the bathroom and Adam, always the eagle eye, knew exactly what was happening.Keith sat at the kitchen table and watched helplessly as Shiro collapsed against Adam in the hallway, and Adam brought him to their bedroom. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and took a seat next to Keith to go through his homework.“You don’t have to pretend nothing happened,” Keith had demanded, gripping the pencil tightly. “That everything is normal.”Adam’s eyes widened and he looked confused. “This is normal.”“Aren’t you tired?” he asked, looking over his shoulder to the hallway and closed does where Shiro was. “Isn’t it hard?”“Sometimes.”“So why do you do it?”“Because I love him,” Adam said, and that’s all he says before turning to help Keith finish his work before sending him back to his dorm.
*
Keith calls Kolivan and his mother. He tells them that he’s taking a leave of absence. He'll be on Altea if they need him.
*
Most days, Lance is fine. Laughing and teasing as Keith helps him around the grounds. They work to fix things like small fences and visiting local Altean vendors who are needed for the pilot program Coran is setting up for sustainable farming. Lance always brings them a bundle of juniberries and the sight of the flowers makes Keith’s stomach churn.Other days, Lance is pushing himself and tries to cover the petals that fall with a tissue. It’s those days that Keith forces him to stay inside and he makes him Altean tea that Keith thinks tastes like soap and they watch weird Altean dramas on the sofa together until Lance’s coughing subsides.“Do you think they’re lovers or enemies?” Lance asks, long legs spread out on Keiths lap on the other side of the sofa. His sweats are rolled up at the ankle and it’s taking all the willpower Keith has to stop himself from caressing the exposed skin. “I can never tell with these shows and there are no subtitles."“You can say the same thing about real life.”Lance pauses, raising an eyebrow as he turns to him and grabs the handful of popcorn from the bowl that sits between them. “You’re too broody, Keith.”He shoves it in his mouth and Keith can’t help but smile.Keith’s room shares a wall with Lance’s bedroom and through it, he can hear Lance’s coughs and wheezes. He touches the cool plaster, a desperate plea for something he isn’t sure of. * One time at the Garrison, Keith turned a corner of the hallway on his way to class and saw Shiro and Adam talking in hushed whispers in front of the medical bay.Adam pushed up his glasses, rubbing his eyes and with a heavy sigh, Shiro engulfed him in his arms. He could tell from Adam’s shaky shoulders that he was crying.Keith turned around and took a different route that made him five minutes late for class and Iverson ordered him to run five laps around the campus for being tardy. * The coughing overtakes him the morning they’re climbing up the hill of the juniberry field.Lance bends over as sharply as if he'd been punched in the stomach, drops of blood spattered his lap and knees and the grass at their feet. Keith watches helplessly, holding onto to his shoulder as the fit tore him apart.By slow, torturous degrees, the coughs ease in intensity and then slowly, slowly passes. Lance is able to gulp large gaps of air before it starts again, the petals of dark pink flowing from his mouth, dropping onto the field around them.He cradles Lance tightly in his arms."I'm not letting you die," he says softly, the petals sticking to his shirt. He reaches for Kosmo to teleport them to Coran's office. The two of them collapsing in a heap of Lance's coughing and bloody petals in the middle of the room."Coran!" Keith shouts and on instinct the other man hangs up whatever call with whatever universe leader he was just in the middle of and jumps over his desk, taking the other side of Lance."Oh my stars, Lance!" he gasps as the petals fall from his mouth. "What did you get yourself into this time?” * Keith doesn't know what he's looking at.They're standing in an Altean hospital, looking at an x-ray of Lance's chest and his brain cannot process what he is seeing. He turns to Coran.“Is that...a flower?”Coran's hand has been pressed to his mouth since the doctor revealed the x-ray. He turns to Keith, eyes steely.“You should call the others.” * It takes less than two vargas before Shiro, Pidge and Hunk are through the teleduv and running through the lobby of the space hospital. Keith meets them with a tired wave and cup of whatever Alteans consider to be coffee.He's gathered up in a group hug before he can even tell them hi, coffee spilling and paper cup rolling to the side.Keith doesn't know why, he's not the one who's sick, but he leans his head forward and bites his lip to hold back whatever noise is looking to escape his throat.An Altean doctor explains that the disease Lance has is from ancient Altea, which makes flowers bloom in your lungs and slowly clogs a patient's chest until...“They suffocate.” Pidge finishes and Hunk holds his throat.“There are tales of something like this on Earth,” Shiro explains, looking at the floor. “A disease that leeches off people and leads to their eventual, tragic death.”Keith looks through the glass in front of Lance's hospital room. He’s currently sleeping while hooked up to several machines beeping around him.“What was the cause?” he asks, looking to Shiro. The older man looks up, staring hard at Keith.“Unrequited love.” * Just when Keith thought he had, at long last, incinerated his useless feelings for Lance, shoved them into a box and buried them, they come back to haunt him in the form of those dark pink flowers. * Keith and Pidge are at Lance's bedside when the doctor explains the newest x-rays. Hunk and Coran are taking a walk while Shiro calls Veronica to tell her what's happening.“From the limited research we could find on this,” she explains, hands in her white coat. “There is oftentimes a hint into what, or rather who, the trigger is for this disease in the form of the flower that is growing.”They look at each other and then at Lance, who's leaning against the pillow, looking embarrassed with his arms crossed against his chest.“Lance, you're not seriously getting shy about your crush right now?” Pidge asks, exasperated.“It just seems really personal…”“Dude, your life's on the line!”“I don’t have a crush on anyone!”“Oh my god, are you twelve?” she pulls at her hair. “Please tell me you're kidding or trying to lighten the mood. Because if you die because you're too stubborn to say-”“It’s Allura, isn't it?” Keith asks, locking eyes with Lance from his perch on the side of his bed. “The petals you've been coughing out have been juniberries.”Lance freezes and looks at Keith. He doesn't confirm, but he doesn't deny it either. The doctor hums.“A juniberry would match the silhouette we are seeing in the x-rays.”“If the manifestation of this disease is unrequited love,” Pidge says softly, taking hold of Lance's hand. “Then lost love could also…”They sit in silence, and Keith can't take it anymore and heads out of the room to get some air. Shiro sees him leave and taps back in to talk with the doctor.Of course it's juniberries. * Pidge makes a phone call and before Keith knows it, the Holt family is walking into Lance’s hospital room while they’re in the middle of playing a game of Spit on his bed.“Sam? Colleen? Matt?” Lance says as they lean over and give him a hug, avoiding the wires around him. “What are you doing here? My family doesn't even fully know yet.”“Katie called the second she heard that your illness was Botany related,” Colleen explains with a smile. “Don’t worry, Lance. We’ll figure this out.”Lance smiles and Colleen leans back and sees Keith sitting crossed-legged in Lance’s bed, and then her eyes go to the hoodie that Lance is wearing that is red and very obviously Keith’s because it’s big on him and balls at the sleeves. It wasn’t a huge gesture, just that Lance was getting thin and after Keith noticed the goosebumps on his skin he had unzipped his hoodie and given it to Lance before he could reject it.Her eyebrow arches. “Oh! I didn’t realize that when Katie said you two were living together she meant-”“Mom!” Matt interrupts and Keith feels his face warm and covers it with his hand. Lance gasps and falls into another coughing fit. Colleen panics and Lance waves her off attempting smile between chokes, the sleeve of the hoodie flapping.They soon leave and Keith can hear Matt whispering, “I told you not to bring that up with them, Mom!”“I’m sorry, but they’re a very cute couple!”Keith shakes his head and looks up at Lance, who’s staring at him softly, Keith’s hoodie brushing up against his warm, tan skin. The red of the hood is bunched up against his cheek, contrasting against the blue marks under his eyes. Keith clears his throat.“You wanna play another round?”“Sure,” he says, hand outstretched. “Deal me in.” * The nurses get sick of having to wake Keith up when visiting hours are over, so one night when he's curled on a chair, his jacket on his chest in a makeshift blanket, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He opens his eyes groggily to see a heavyset young man holding a clipboard.“Visitors are only able to be here for another varga,” he explains, like he hasn't kicked Keith out a million times before. Usually, he would go to his ship to sleep unless Shiro drags him to Lance's place where he and Hunk were staying to sleep in an actual bed. “But you're his partner, right? You can have unlimited visiting hours.”With tired eyes, he looks at Lance's sleeping form. The way his face has thinned, the crescent moons outlining his cheekbones like tiny blue checkmarks. Somehow, Keith still can't shake him, even all these years later.He knows the nurse doesn't mean partner in the way Keith nods, but it doesn't matter. It means they'll stop badgering him, so he signs it neatly and the nurse leaves. He leans back against the chair, before extending his legs out to Lance's bed, his mismatched socks most likely to pull some sort of stupid comment from Lance when he awoke in a few hours. * When Veronica comes with Acxa at her side, Keith can feel his relief that someone other than him can be on point.“Hey, pretty boy,” she smiles and lets Keith drop his head on her shoulder as she hugs him hello in the hospital lobby. “Sorry I couldn’t come sooner, there was an electromagnetic storm and they shut down all the teleduvs until this morning, but Shiro kept me updated. How’s he doing?”“Not much better.”“Leave it to Lance to contract an ancient Altean disease that is somehow connected to love,” she sighs. “He really committed to that Loverboy Lance nickname you guys gave him, huh?”“Veronica,” Keith says, his forehead pressed against her shoulder and he sighs before looking up. “I’m so sorry.”“For what?”“He told me he wasn’t well, and I saw it in his face when I got there,” he admits, swallowing hard. “You were right and I should have told you…maybe then...he could’ve...he might’ve.”“Keith,” she says, with the same voice she uses on the ATLAS when directing the crew. It was steely, unwavering. “Do you think I told you about Lance because I was stupid enough to think his stubborn ass would listen to you and make him go to the space hospital?”Keith blinks. “Then why did you…”She smiles, taking hold of his face with both her hands. “For when he needed to go, I knew you would get him here. You will always make sure he’s okay.”“Of course...he’s my best friend.” Keith’s voice hitches in his throat and Veronica’s face turns into an unfamiliar look.“Do you love him?” she asks and Keith doesn't confirm, but he doesn't deny it either. Acxa clears her throat, uncomfortably.Even with Veronica and Shiro, Keith spends the next few days looking at so many charts of the flower growing in Lance’s chest that he memorizes every curve, every stem, every petal that he knows will eventually escape through Lance’s mouth. It’s burnt into his memory like it’s a license plate of a car in a hit-and-run.The Holts are in a neverending testing mode, having Lance take a bunch of different serums, and one that Keith was sure looked like it glowed in the dark.“Just close your eyes buddy,” Hunk says when the Altean doctor injected it into his arm, Keith and him holding both of his hands as Lance buried his face in Keith’s shoulder. “It’ll be over soon.”Keith wants to say something comforting too, but all he can feel is Lance’s face in his neck as a dark part of himself wishes this was anything else. That they were anywhere else. * After Keith was booted from the Garrison, Adam came by the shack once to check on him.His shack was dusty, small, and Keith had tried his best to try to cover up the board where he was currently working on trying to figure out the energy source that was pulling him from the desert. It was useless and Adam pulled back the sheet within two minutes of stepping into the room.“He’s out there Adam,” Keith said, pointing to the pictures. “I just need...to find him.”Adam looks over the research, finger brushing against photos and the red string that Keith had linked between the notes. Finally, with a long exhale his shoulders dropped.“You can’t fight everything, Keith,” he said, looking at him sadly. “You need to accept when the battle is over. When it’s lost.”“It’s not, though!” Keith fights, pointing to his evidence. “Shiro is still out there! Something is telling me...there’s more out there! There’s hope!”“Is there?” he asks, earnestly. He shoves his hands deeper into his pockets, and Keith knows it's to hide the fact that he stopped wearing his engagement ring the day that Shiro moved out. Two months before he lifted off for Kerberos. Keith thought it was to hide the fact that he’d given up before the mission even started. “Or do you want there to be?”
*
The day Pidge and Matt make a research breakthrough, Lance is asleep, an oxygen mask gently pressed against his mouth to keep him from choking and to help him rest. Keith can't resist and pushes the bangs from his forehead softly, relieved that nobody calls him out on it.“Matt and I have been cross-referencing as many books on ancient Altean diseases that we could find, and we found something,” Pidge explains, swiping a tablet in her hand that then projected Lance’s latest x-ray in front of them. She takes a seat next to Hunk. “We discovered there is a way for the infection to cure itself.”“How?” Shiro asks and Matt shifts uncomfortably where he’s standing.“The only way for the disease to ‘disappear’ is if whoever triggered the feelings that manifested the flower is able to confirm their feelings to the patient.”“It can’t be resolved with friendship, it has to be genuine feelings of love,” Pidge clarifies and leans back in her chair. “Like a true love’s kiss sort of thing. Very Disney.”“More like Brothers Grimm,” Hunk says looking at Lance’s still sleeping form.“The issue with this is that if our hypothesis is correct and the juniberry flower growing in Lance’s chest is due to his love for Allura,” Matt says, looking at his feet. “She can’t confirm her feelings for Lance.”Keith thinks back to their goodbyes and the final embrace Lance had with Allura, his eyes rest on the blue marks she had left on his cheeks.“That’s not true…she told him she loved him before she died,” he says, looking up at Matt. “Shouldn’t that be enough?”“That was years ago, Keith,” Shiro says arms crossed. “And it sounds like the same loss that manifested Lance’s disease is the same reason why Allura can’t help us cure it.”“But there has to be another way!” Keith fights, fist clenching as he looks at Pidge. “That can’t be it! Can we remove it ourselves?”“Yes, we can,” Pidge says and takes off her glasses slowly, cleaning them on her shirt. “The issue there is...well…”“What?” he demands. “Spit it out!”“If we remove the flower, Lance’s feelings for Allura and his memories of her will be removed as well,” Matt finishes, staring at Keith. “And there’s no guarantee he’ll survive the surgery since the flower has spread so deep into his respiratory system.”“So basically, Lance is going to have to choose between his memories of Allura or his life?” Hunk says looking at his hands.The room falls silent.
*
The Altean doctor explains the situation to Lance during her next check-in and Lance’s answer is quick and firm.“No.”“Lance!” Veronica snaps, turning to her brother with anger. “You can’t be serious! This your life we’re talking about!”“I’m not removing my memories,” he says shaking his head.“She’s dead Lance, and you will be too if you keep this up!” she yells, leaning over his bed. “Lance, this isn’t a game...you’re...you’re dying.”Keith watches, seeing that Veronica’s anger was nothing but a shield for her pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing out grenades, scared for their life, lonely, desperate. Lance sees it too and extends his hand for his sister’s.“I know,” he says, voice soft. “I’ve known for a while now.”Veronica breaks, dropping his hand and leaving the room to crumble into Acxa's arms.
*
Keith is the one who calls the rest of the McClains.Lance didn't want the rest of his family to know, but at this point, Keith and Veronica are growing desperate for anyone to break through to him.When even Lance's own mother can't convince him, it's Hunk who has to walk out of the room to hide his angry tears.
*
The days pass and with them, Lance’s health degrades slowly. Colleen's serum slows the progress of the disease, but unless they can remove the flower they're only delaying the inevitable.Lance sleeps more now and the few hours he's awake, his face is covered with an Altean oxygen mask.Keith takes a picture of it on his phone and Lance frowns. “Hey!”“You look stupid,” Keith says, preparing to send the picture to Veronica. “You look like you're about to go scuba diving.”“I never got to go scuba diving,” Lance says, voice soft as it reverberates against the hard plastic of the mask. “The beach was always filled with tourists who wanted to do it so Rachel, Marco and I tried to make makeshift scuba masks with an old hose and goggles,” he pauses to take a deep breath before turning to Keith with an arched eyebrow. “You can imagine how unsuccessful we were.”Keith clenches his jaw. “You don't have to do this, Lance….please.”Lance's lips purse together and Keith feels the tension rising up between his shoulder blades.“Allura is gone,” he says softly. “You spent so much of your life honoring her...you don't need to give her your life, too. Please, Lance. Even if you forget her, we’ll all help you remember.”Lance doesn't look at him, his eyes brimming with tears, clinging to his eyelashes. Keith takes hold of his hand, feeling its warmth in the cold hospital room.“Please, Lance,” Keith begs and swallows the sob that is threatening to escape his throat. He manages to fight it down. “If not for yourself, then for us.”Lance's eyes soften and he brings his free hand to the mask, pushing it aside and away from his mouth. He adjusts their fingers so they're laced together and he slowly, shakily, brings their intertwined hand to his lips, leaving a delicate kiss on Keith's knuckles.Keith's face blooms into a blush.
*
Keith is walking with Shiro when it happens.Shiro basically forces Keith to leave the hospital, pulling him by the back of his jacket like he’s grounded and throwing him into his car to take him back to Lance’s farmhouse. Keith hasn’t even noticed how much Kosmo must have missed him until he’s tackled by the giant wolf in a mess of blue fur.“Tío Keith!” he hears Lance’s niece and nephew call as they follow the wolf outside, their mother watching from the front porch.“Everyone’s been staying at the house and taking rotations at the hospital,” Shiro explains after Keith gives Kosmo enough affection for the wolf to go back to playing with the kids. “Do you know how long Lance has been living here? It’s such a big house for just him.”Keith lifts himself up to stand, looking at the house. “I have a feeling he knew eventually we would all be here.”Shiro makes Keith shower and he shaves the itchy scruff that has grown on his face without him realizing. He looks at himself in the mirror and sees just how tired he looks.He isn’t even the sick one.Part of him realizes how unfair it was, for him to feel the need to shoulder this pain, like he and Lance were anything more than…Keith shakes his head, damp hair flopping against his forehead.He can’t go back there again.He sees Shiro’s fluff of white hair in the mirror, brows knitted.“Keith…” he says softly and it’s how he finds out Keith’s been crying, and Keith bites his bottom lip between his teeth, rubbing his eyes as if it would somehow stop the tears from flowing.“Fuck!” Keith curses when the tears don’t stop, but come harder. “No, I...I wasn’t gonna do this…”A sigh bounces off the tiles.“C’mere,” Shiro says, arm outstretched, and Keith is pulled to his chest, the feeling of flesh and metal behind his back and he holds him, kicking the bathroom door shut with his foot. “You can let it out, nobody’s gonna hear.”That permission is so powerful for Keith, the small thing he needs for his shoulders to slump as the tears to flow freely, his sobs muffled by the cotton of Shiro’s pullover. Emotional pain flows out of his every pore. His cries feel like a primal sound, ripping from him deep inside and is only interrupted by his need to inhale.“This is so fucking unfair...I hate this,” he manages between hitching breaths as Shiro rubs small circles soothingly into his back. “I hate this so much…”“Yeah, it sucks.”“It does suck!” he hiccups, pulling away and rubbing his eyes again. “He's so fucking stupid! Doesn't he get how much we care about him?”“You know he does,” Shiro says softly and squeezes his shoulder. “He knows you do, Keith. You've been his rock through this, do you know that?”“I don’t feel like it,” he laughs humorlessly, throwing his hands in the air. “I feel like a plastic shit bag flying in the wind, which is also shit, and then a tornado of shit came and now I'm just spinning out control and there's shit everywhere.”Shiro leans back against the door. “Look...when I was sick-”“Shiro-”“No no, we’re doing this,” he says with a loud exhale. “I know what it’s like to be sick and to think you’re...facing the end. I’ve been there and Adam was there for me, and I wish I could go back and tell him that what he did mattered, that he mattered. But...now I can’t.” he looks to the side. “You’re putting a lot on your shoulders, Keith. It doesn’t have to be just you. You didn’t sign up for this, and you don’t need to do it alone.”“I didn’t have to sign up for it,” he says, and it’s the most honest thing he’s said since he landed on Altea. “I’ll always take care of him.”Shiro pats his arm. “I know, Keith.”He leaves the bathroom, giving Keith space to breathe and wash his face. If there’s evidence of his breakdown left on his face, Lance’s family members are nice enough not to point it out. Shiro suggests they take a walk in the local market for some fresh air before they head back to the hospital.Kosmo follows them as they walk down the path, and Shiro runs his non-robotic hand through his blue fur. Soon, market stalls lined the route, and Keith pauses for a moment to survey the flamboyant scene, and observe the milling throng.Groups of young people shopping, whilst others hustle and bustle, and haggling over the price of the exotic fruits and other imported merchandise, with vendors of various species. Lovers stroll hand in hand, casually browsing, and Keith shoves his hands deeper into his pockets.Then, something catches his eye.A flower stand run by an elderly Unilu woman with thick spectacles and a wide grin. Most of the flowers were organized by color or in small bouquets, but a familiar dark pink one stood out.“Ah, I see you’ve picked up the rarest of my offering,” she hums, following Keith’s eye to the bundle.“Rare? Aren’t those just juniberries?” he asks, motioning around them. “They’re everywhere on Altea.”The Unilu woman chuckles. “I see you aren’t as Galra as I thought you were...have you never seen darkspurries before?”“What?”“Darkspurries are native to only Daibazaal, and were bred over 10,000 years ago to honor the union of Emperor Zarkon and Empress Honerva,” she pauses. “They were from the same family of the juniberry to honor Empress Honerva’s Altean heritage, but can only live on Daibazaal. Their red coloring can look almost identical to the pink of a juniberry, but they’re always darker. No one has been able to grow them until after the war when Daibazaal returned.”Keith takes a look at the petals and it’s a key that unlocks something in the back of his head, his heart jumping to his throat. His breath is shaking, a realization hitting him like a tsunami to shore, ripping everything in its path and drowning his senses.He goes on autopilot, grabbing the bundle and turning to Kosmo before yelling over his shoulder, “Shiro, I gotta go!”“What?!” Shiro croaks and the last thing Keith sees before Kosmo transports them is Shiro looking helplessly at the Unilu shopkeep who is yelling at him to pay for the flowers Keith stole.Kosmo poofs in front of the hospital and sits patiently outside as Keith blows past, his feet slip outwards on the wet leaves as he round the corner and enters the hospital, the cold afternoon air shocking his throat and lungs as he inhales deeper, faster.People in the lobby gasp and call out to him when he barrels past, and he can see in the corner of his eyes that he’s being tailed.With each footfall, a jarring pain shoots ankle to knee, ankle to knee. Perhaps jumping over that gurney onto the stairs wasn't so smart, but Keith doesn’t have time to think. He needs to get to the lab where the Holts are working on Lance’s treatment.His heart beats frantically. It’s all or nothing.If he fails his whole body will pay the price, but most of all Lance. He’s been running from him for so many years, but now he runs for him.He gulps air as he skids to a halt into the lab, his boots screeching against the tile as he holds out the bundle of darkspurries out to Sam and Colleen who are staring at him wide-eyed.“Test...these…” he gasps, and Colleen takes them gingerly. “It’s not juniberries.”That’s all he manages to say before he’s tackled to the floor by three burly hospital security guards. * “Oh my god,” Pidge gasps looking at the screen and Colleen’s hands cover her mouth in awe. “It’s an exact match.”“These are flowers from Daibazaal,” Sam says, looking at the readings over his daughter's shoulder. “And they aren’t pink...they’re red.”“Lance’s disease wasn’t triggered by Allura…it was triggered by…” * “Keith?”Lance looks up at him when he enters the hospital room, light from the street lights outside beaming in.“Sorry, were you resting?” Keith asks taking a seat next to him at the end of the bed and Lance shakes his head.“Hard to when connected to so much stuff,” he says, gesturing to all the wires and the face mask. He takes a deep breath, it’s getting harder for him to breathe these days. “Whatcha got there?”“A darkspurry. It’s a flower from Daibazaal, in the same family as juniberries,” Keith looks down at the flower he’s spinning between his fingers, the red petals beautiful in the pale blue light. He places it to the side and glances up at Lance. “It’s the flower that’s growing in your chest, Lance.”He could tell from his blush that he struck a nerve. His usual even brown had a rosiness to it, which Keith always finds cute.“It’s not Allura who you have feelings for, is it?” Keith asks looking at him honestly and Lance worries his lip between his teeth and shakes his head. “Lance…”“I’m sorry,” he sniffles and a cough escapes that has Keith taking his hand until it passes. “I didn’t know what to do when the petals started...and when Pidge said it had to connect with someone who I loved, I’m not surprised everyone went to thinking it was Allura.”“Why didn’t you tell me?” Keith asks, weaving their fingers together.“I couldn’t put that burden on you,” Lance sighs leaning back. “To tell you how I felt, if...this ends the way it’s looking for me.”“Lance-”“Keith, I’m serious,” he says and Keith can tell from his eyes that he means it. “I’ve had that burden put on me, and I would never do that to anyone else. Especially you.”Keith runs his thumb across Lance’s thin hands, the pad of his finger traveling over boney knuckles and veins. “I would carry that burden for you.”“I know you would,” he says softly. “But...I had a choice and lost my shot. Maybe if things were different between us, if I didn’t push you away-”“You’re wrong!” Keith fights, feeling tears build up in his eyes. “You never pushed me away, Lance. I ran away! I was the one with the choice and I choose to step aside because I thought you were happy! I just wanted you to be happy!”“Well that backfired,” Lance laughs between coughs, holding to Keith’s hand tighter. “It did seem weird to me that the flower would be a juniberry. I loved Allura and I do miss her, but I’ve dealt with that and I knew I had moved on.”“So you went with my assumption that I thought it was Allura when really…” Keith chokes looking up at Lance. “You love…me?”“Bingo,” Lance smiles weakly. “Awful haircut and all. The whole package, even the space wolf. I love you, Keith. I have for probably longer than I knew I loved you. You’re an unstoppable force for good and have been inspiring me to be my best self for deca-phoebes. You’re my best friend, and I’m deeply, stupidly, some would even say deathly at this point, in love with you.”Keith feels the tears rolling down his face and he puts his free hand to his mouth to keep the ugly sobbing from escaping. Lance squeezes his hand again. “And I would gladly let this weird Galra flower tear me up from the inside out, Keith, because I don’t ever want to forget what it means to love you. It took me too damn long just to get here.”He grabs onto a bed so that his violent shaking doesn’t cause him to fall and from his eyes comes a thicker flow of tears than he knew he was capable of crying. Tears flow over his gloves and Keith can feel how messy and blotchy his face looks - he hasn’t cried this much since his dad died, so he’s out of practice and probably looks disgusting as the words are ripped from his throat.“You fucking idiot,” he chokes, eyes red-rimmed as he glares at Lance’s shocked face. “I’ve been in love with you this entire time!”The beeping of equipment is the only sound between them and Keith can’t help but note how ironic it would be if the thing that ends up killing Lance after all this was his messy confession.“I’ve never stopped loving you!” he fights, wiping away the tears and snot and whatever else was currently being excavated from his soul. “I’ve been holding a fucking torch for you since we were goddamn teenagers trying to survive a war and it burned brighter when we won it, and it continued to burn even when I thought I lost you forever. It will never go out, Lance.”It's Lance's turn to cry and the tears fall off his lashes and roll down his cheeks, past his crescent marks off his pointy chin. He's such a pretty crier and it makes Keith cry even harder because fuck, he loves Lance McClain and Lance McClain loves him back.“Keith,” he says with outstretched arms in the way that sounds like keef and has wound itself around his heart like a vine because he can't ignore him. Will never ignore him again. Keith crawls up along the bed and takes Lance into his arms, burying his nose into his hair and rubbing his back when he starts coughing again, as just when Lance calms down, he looks up at Keith with the blue eyes he would know anywhere.He takes hold of Lance's oxygen mask. “Can I?”Lance nods, eyes already fluttering shut as Keith moves it up and leans down, softly pressing his lips to his in a kiss. The beeps of the machines melt away, the whole hospital too, and the moment is theirs. For the kiss, it's as if they are transported somewhere heavenly and perhaps they would be if it wasn't for the fact that they are tangled in Lance’s wires and a nurse was most liking running to the room to make Lance put his oxygen mask back on. * Lance's vitals start to normalize and the coughing subsides. His x-rays come back and show the flower has shrunk substantially, and will probably be nonexistent by the end of the week.Pidge and Matt high-five and Colleen taps her finger against her chin.“Looks like I wasn't wrong, after all!” she beams. * Lance is released from the hospital and everyone throws a small celebration, the noise filling his once empty farmhouse.He's still weak, so Keith sticks to his side like glue. Nobody seems to mind and at the end of the night, they sit on the front porch, and Keith leans his head onto Lance's shoulder as they stargaze. Lance runs his hands through Keith’s hair, shaking it out of its ponytail.“Welcome home,” Keith says softly, looking up at Lance with a moonstruck smile.Lance kisses his forehead. “It’s good to be home.”