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I believe that if there is a God, or god I suppose, he has a funny sense a humor. Not funny 'ha-ha' I mean he's probably the worst possible being in the whole universe. A real dickwad who has to explain his jokes to a congregation that never asked. If it isn't some higher power it means evolution is a joke of a process. I've always sort've been a self-sacrificing person, you don't work in retail without giving up some part of yourself. I worked local deliveries for Amazon partners. My route was in a quiet suburban neighborhood outside of the fringes of a city sprawl. A meandering, polluted creek ran alongside the winding uphill road I took to deliver an assortment of goods from Hello Fresh boxes to mail-order bike tires. It was on one of these routes where I first encountered the trouble. I first saw a Creature as it stalked with strange intent towards a mother and child. The creatures are hard to describe to those who haven't seen them. The closest description I could manage was that they look like inkblots, open to interpretation. I'm pretty sure if the others could explain them to me without trying to kill me first, they would describe them differently. But they do have a form, an almost humanoid look about them. But stretched and squashed out like shadows thrown to the wind. They looked surreal and definitely like they didn't belong anywhere near the quiet suburban neighborhood I was in. Or near the woman who was listening to music and she walked with her stroller. I remember thinking later it was odd that a suicidal ideation flashed in my head right at that point. That my brain chose that time to suggest I walk into traffic or maybe slam my head against a nearby telephone pole. But I didn't think anything of it because those sort of 'creatures' were always present in my head. Especially since the woman looked at the strange shifting inkblot and then proceeded to follow through on my ideas. I don't know if I screamed or if something else happened but I knew I didn't want to be around anymore. Chaos shattered the cute little neighborhood as persons inbound from the city began running into fire hydrants or telephone poles. Those who managed to make it to their home were being followed by screaming people, trying their best to cover their eyes. The ground became littered with people running, falling, screaming. I had never seen such a shift in serenity in my life. I decided to run. The creature had seemingly disappeared. I found myself dragged along with the flow of people to a home. A woman took me by the arm and told me to follow her, so I did. I think I was still reeling from seeing the someone hurt themselves like that. The home wasn't one on my route. It had a pool and nice backyard view of a hillside. There was noise as more people scrambled inside to find safety. People were arguing at first but I was too shook up to care. I also had a strange nagging feeling inside me that it was the end of times and no one would mind if I politely drown myself in the backyard pool. I remember scolding myself about how much it would inconvenience them and trouble everyone. I luckily carried my pills around with me, as I was in the habit of forgetting to take them so pill bottles were hid around my house, purse, and delivery van. Stephan was the father of the household. Some would say he was strong, dependable, welcoming, doing his best to wrangle a whole new family of strangers that took him up on the hospitality of his home. I don't know how to describe him now. He was deceptively kind and understanding despite the limited resources and time at hand. He had a perfect nuclear family of a wife and two kids. "We're having a family meeting," Stephan said to welcome me a few hours later, "To watch TV and discuss our options." I didn't know why but I thought we were going to watch a lighthearted television show to combat the things we had just saw. Instead we watched a news bulletin informing us of precautions to take and reassuring us that the army would soon have everything under control. So, we covered the windows with paper, blankets, blinds and anything else we could find. More arguing happened and at that point I decided that children were far more fun in an apocalypse than adults. The eldest was named Benson, a precocious little four year old with mischievous streak who promptly told me that the 'booger-man' had finally come out from under his bed to kill everyone. The younger was a shy girl, probably two, named Rebecca. Once we got that formality out of the way we began playing with his grand assortment of toys. It was still difficult not to listen to what the adults in the room were saying. There wasn't enough food to last the amount of us forever, when would the power go out? How would we know when it was safe to go outside? No one's phone worked, even those with reception. My phone was still in the truck two streets over so I couldn't even try. "We need to eat all the perishable food first," I thought his name was Frank? Or perhaps not, "Then we can ration out the non-perishable food. Then we need to gather supplies." "How are we going to gather supplies if we can't go outside and we can't see anything?" Another one snapped. I remember thinking then and there that I wasn't going to eat, that I would rather starve myself than take food from the people who let me into their home. My life wasn't worth theirs and I would do my best to help but in the end I would rather die than put children or the others at risk. I've thought this way for so long that I didn't think anything of it. It was just my voice, telling me I was worthless, that I was better off dead and that these people didn't need me. It was a running dialogue I'd had since I was eight years old. Nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary. With all the shock and destruction it was no wonder that I was feeling this way. I took deep breaths, did my five senses to ground me, and reaffirmed that I would be beneficial to everyone, I just needed to work hard and be kind. Even during these hard times I could survive even for just a little longer. The other adults made most of the decisions, I think because I interacted with the children and looked rather young they assumed my input wasn't needed. Including me there were eight adults. Eight adults and two children, five males and three females. Luckily in a rich white suburban neighborhood so the cupboards were well stocked, but for the bougie this wasn't enough food to last us forever. Even though the twenty four pack of Clif bars in the pantry could last me all month. So, I stayed away from them. I slept in a sleeping bag in the kids room, the mother repeating how grateful she was to have me. It hurts to remember her now. Stephan didn't seem to have time to thank me, as he addressed most of the sensitive male issues in the household well into the evening. Benson didn't think to ask my name until we were drifting off to sleep, his nightlight throwing stars in the room as I listened to the noises outside. I had told him it was just the wind and he believed me. "Chloe," I told him, "Chloe is my name. But we should have code names to call each other so call me Chloe-bear." I would regret that. I regretted much in my time at that household, learning exactly who I was and what I was capable of. I regretted Stephan and Frank and the wife I refuse to name because it's so hard to remember that she was Leslie and I failed her. But one thing I regretted the most was the code words, because of who lost their life over it.
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The adults were named Stephan, Simon, Frank, Joe and Leslie and they quickly divided away from Benson, Rebecca and me. The children were a welcome noise to my head that came up with more and more hateful ways to end myself. The Prozac helped but I was running out. I also couldn’t remember how much of a dosage was too many, so I put the kids in charge of monitoring me. It was a game to them, but I had to keep Rebecca from thinking it was candy.Occasionally, like a teen at a dinner party, I would be asked to help for a more intensive task like helping to pick something up or move something or wash something. After the third day without power, the adult conversation was starting to get heated. On the plus side Leslie let us eat all the ice cream we wanted.Finally, another family meeting was called.“Someone,” Frank announced in a huff, “Someone needs to drive the car so we can get some groceries.”“Wouldn’t that kill us?”“Not necessarily,” Frank began to explain his plan.Only two people would go. All they would lose is a car and there were plenty on the street. Frank would volunteer to be the heavy man. They could go to a warehouse store and get enough food and supplies to last us months. Everyone was against it and began to be annoying about it.“We still don’t even know what they do!” Joe shouted.“I’ll drive.”I think it was the first time any of them even realized I was present.“No, sweetie it’s okay-“Leslie began.“I’m twenty-eight,” I was reminded of how young I looked, “I have nothing to lose or gain by being…here.”I almost said ‘alive’ and the last thing I wanted was for them to freak out about that.“Then it’s settled,” Frank spoke up. He always sounded angry, but I think it was stress, “That way you only lose the old guy and her.”“We don’t want to lose anyone,” Stephan began.I toned out again as Frank began to argue. Two pills left my brain taunted.“I’m a delivery girl,” I pointed out, loudly over the noise, “I know these streets better than anyone.” Frank and I would take the family car to the store. We were blindfolded; except I would take the blindfold off as soon as we got in the car. I never drove blindfolded.The car ride with Frank started off fine.“Why are you sitting in the back?”I looked at him after I took my blindfold off.“Safer if you try to kill us both.”He sat next to the car seat and looked like a grump older sibling.“Are you sure you want to do this, kid?”“Yeah, it’s fine.”It really wasn’t fine. The Creature was everywhere. Was it my imagination or were there no bodies? Occasionally there would be one in a half-eaten state. Were animals affected by the Creature too? Or were they just trying to survive?Once, I couldn’t avoid a corpse and it reminded me that Frank was in the car.“What was that?”“A curb,” I lied.“Are you driving with your eyes on backwards or something?”He was nervous and I didn’t blame him. But I didn’t see any of those strange black masses like I had before.At least, in the suburbs. Once we were out the GPD took us into the nearby town and we became the only thing on the road. I spotted one in the rearview, but I didn’t alert Frank. I didn’t know what they were capable of, but I didn’t think to warn him. I pretended I didn’t see it as we turned into a Costco parking lot. I didn’t park, just backed into the storm doors.The whole building reeked when we got through the doors. Frank made a face.“More dead people.”“Probably just meat,” I said, “Power’s been off a while here.”“Are there any boogers in here?”“I don’t know, even if there were, would we die?”“Okay, be careful. Let’s get proteins and anything with a recent shelf life. We’ll set up a way to load them in the car.”I wasn’t listening, not really. A side effect of whatever they do to people. Weird that a side effect is drowning people out. But over the suicidal thoughts like the sound of the ocean and Frank’s babbling I knew the one thing I was supposed to do was find my pills.I got a cart and headed straight for the pharmacy. Bless the well-organized folks that ran it, I found the biggest bottle of fluoxetine I could. It was enough to last three months. Three months and then I would have withdrawal symptoms unless I could find another pharmacy. I didn’t want Frank to know so I picked up ensure, protein shakes, bars and pain medication.We managed to cram everything in and push Frank in there too before hearing the scream.“Stay in the car, Frank.”I didn’t know I could be so authoritative. He still began to argue but I just handed over the keys, “Lock the doors and if I’m not back in ten minutes, leave me behind.”I found the woman; she had her hands over her eyes and blood on her skirt.“They killed us,” she screamed. Not knowing I was nearby.“Ma’am,” I said as softly as I could. I was still frightening and she fell from shock.“Ma’am where is your blindfold.”“He took it off, he took them all off. God.”I wrapped her eyes and she pulled away her hands, “But without your blindfold.”“It’s okay, I have another one. I’m taking you to the car now. Frank is there he’ll help you.”I explained to him what was going on and left him in his care with the warning again. Lock the doors, leave me behind.I heard the man before seeing him. It was a well dressed man, looked like he had just come home from work and seemed to sing to himself.“Sir?”His whole body whipped around like a puppet.“Ooh, you’re outside. Have you come to see the beautiful creatures?”“You know the lady says you killed her friends.”He didn’t listen, “They’re glorious you know.”I didn’t like him before and I didn’t like him in that moment. I was irritated. Being angry when you’re depressed is easy.“You’ll look right?” He said furtively, “You’ll look.”I heard the noise and turned. This creature wasn’t as unclear as the others and had a loping humanoid shape. Like it was trying to be friendly.“I don’t understand, you can see it. You’re looking how can you see it but not want it.”I couldn’t answer because Frank came around the corner.“Chloe?”I wasn’t as fast then. I wasn’t lean, I didn’t run cardio. I wasn’t in survival mode. I wanted to shout, to tell him to run and that something strange was happening. But the man saw his blindfold and yelled, snatching it from his head. He couldn’t have known about the Creature so he met my eyes first before those eyes slid from focus and dilated.Frank was coming to bring me a gun, which he then turned on himself.The man laughed. A screaming demented trill that made me break out of the mindset I was in. There was only anger, it was so easy to feel. As he dances and screamed about how glorious it all was I gentle picked up the gun. When he turned to me to gloat, I made sure we made eye contact before I shot him in the head.The creature sat low and I turned the gun on it and shot. It seemed to burst and I had hope for a moment that the gun killed it. But the dark shade of its form just hunched lower to the ground and zoomed away.I didn’t care that my hands were shaking as I walked back to the car. I did my best to hold onto the gun. A quick search of Franks body told me he gave the keys to the woman in the car.Once I got back to it I saw her inside, shaking and afraid with the blindfold on.“Hey.”My voice made her shriek.“I forgot to get your name.”After she trembled in the car I realized how heavy I felt. How tired I was to be here. The gun started to feel lighter.“I’m Chloe, you’re wearing my blindfold. My friend and the guy that killed your friends are dead but I don’t know how long I’ll survive out here so can you let me back in.”Through the glass I saw her nod and the car clicked unlock. She flinched as I took the keys from her. Probably because I left a smear of blood there.Emotions made me so tired. Anger, and happiness sometimes. But anger seemed to be all I could feel then.My passenger began to babble again as I started the car. Trying to explain everything to me but I wasn’t listening. There was red on my hands as I touched the steering wheel and red on my face. There were more of the Creature now and I decided to not tell her. They were drawn to the gunfire.I didn’t realize we’d been driving awhile until she called my name. I forgot I even gave it to her.“Uh, yeah?”Did I even get her name?”“Are we going to be okay?”“Of course,” I lied, “Everything is going to be just fine. You’ll love the house we’re going to.”I had driven right past the road I needed to turn down, but I corrected my path. After all, everyone at the house was depending on me for food. I wasn’t going to let my head get in the way.
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“You can’t blame yourself,” Stephan was trying to tell me. I was still digesting the fact that no one else seemed to see the Creatures like I did. Another family meeting revealed exactly why I could see them. The lady’s name was Kim and she was a high school teacher. Her and a few other teachers found a pretty good system of getting food to the gym, which served as a shelter. Then, one of the strangers they let in started ripping off peoples blindfolds and pushing them out the doors. “They’re loonies from the hospital,” Joe said. I didn’t point out the that mental health clinic near the high school didn’t have inpatient care so it probably wasn’t ‘the loonies’. Also, that ‘loonies’ was not a good thing to call people. Plus that guy was too well dressed to be in psychiatric care. But I didn’t want to reveal I could see them with this kind of news. “We can’t let anyone in,” Simon declared. “All this aside,” Stephan was the new leader now that Frank wasn’t around, “I want to thank Chloe for her bravery.” I let Frank die and they were thanking me. I craved another gun so I could eat it. “I didn’t do anything.” “Are you kidding me?” Kim exclaimed, “You got everyone food, you rescued me. I’m so grateful to you.” I never really liked compliments. Maybe because I didn’t receive them enough growing up, “Yeah. When I go out again maybe I should go alone?” “No,” Leslie said, “We’ll just be better prepared, Joe or the others can go.” I ran away from the adult conversation to talk to the kids. I needed them in that moment. “Can you get me legos next time?” “Sure, where’s Rebecca?” “She’s hiding because you have a lot of red on you and she’s scared of the wind.” It hadn’t been especially windy recently. “What wind?” “The wind that the monsters leave behind.” That stirred me out of my funk, “What wind?” “It comes at night and moves around the house.” That was just as distressing as the adult conversation. “I’ll take the red off.”__ I wish I knew what it meant earlier. But that night I wanted to hear it. Once I heard the rustle of leaves, I went downstairs to fine Stephan and Simon huddled by a candle in the kitchen. “Hey Chloe,” Stephan noticed me first. “Hey, can you guys hear that wind?” “Hear what?” “Benson said Rebecca and he keep hearing a wind at night.” “They always say that.” I waited until he was done dismissing his child. “Well, now I hear it too. Can we go to the garage and listen?” Simon was just as curious so we all went out to the garage and Simon and Stephan couldn’t dispute it. But in the garage, it didn’t sound like wind to me. It sounded like white noise and in that white noise I could hear suggestion of words. It creeped me out enough to go back inside. “Chloe, are you okay?” “Hah, yeah,” I hadn’t realized they’d been talking all this time. And I was shaking. Stephan looked at Simon before sighing, “I understand Frank’s death put you through some things. Do you mind telling us about it?” “Yeah,” Simon spoke up, “What did that crazy guy do?” Stephan noticed my flinch, “You don’t have to tell us.” I didn’t know how to tell them without giving away anything. “It’s just like the lady said, he seemed really nice at first but then he tore off Frank’s blindfold. I think Frank shot himself.” “What should we do?” They were asking me. “Can we stay here like this?” My question was honest, but I don’t think they understood. “Of course we can,” Stephan answered. I doubted it then and I doubted it now. “There is one of those things outside,” I told them, finally focusing on the world around me. “What?” Simon’s voice was too loud. “What makes you say that?” Stephan held up a hand to Simon. “I don’t know.” They exchanged glances, “Why don’t you drink?” “No,” I laughed, “No that is the worst idea yet.” Simon grumbled, hopefully under his breath, “Why are you so weird?” “I’m not,” I sighed, “I’m telling you that thing is outside. And I don’t know why it’s here.” Stephan coughed, “They’re only dangerous if we look at it. We’ve already covered the windows and we have enough food.” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. They were right but something told me they were wrong too. And I was starting to get tired again. I started to go back upstairs when Simon caught me roughly by the arm. “Ow-“ “I don’t think you should sleep with them anymore.” I blinked, confused, “I don’t really sleep with them. I sleep on the floor in like this weird kid’s tent thing that you see in the IKEA mag-“ “Shut up,” Simon hissed at me. It was probably the most violent thing I’d ever encountered in my whole adult life. Well, from another human directed at me. The past few days were a weird exception. “You’re going to sleep in my room tonight.” “But-“ Simon spoke through his teeth at me angrily, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I don’t trust you.” “Why are you so mad?” I asked bewildered. “Quiet,” Simon whispered, “You’ll wake everyone up.” He dragged me into the room that looked like it was once a guest room with a Parisian theme. Joe slept on the floor. Frank’s old sleeping bag sat on the ground. I stopped moving and remembered the sight of Frank dropping to the ground. “Simon, I can’t be here.” My voice shook. Joe grumbled in the corner. “Shut up, Joe.” Joe decided to sleep on the couch, leaving me alone with Simon. “You can sleep on the bed.” Simon sat on the floor in front of the door. I held my head as it throbbed. “What happened to Frank?” I sat on the bed to keep from collapsing. “He shot himself in the head.” “I don’t believe that. I think you shot him in the head.” I ignored him, “And then I shot the man who killed him.” Simon laughed, “I don’t believe you. I think you killed Frank and I think you’re going to kill us next. You just came back to gain our trust.” I didn’t really have anything to counter that. It’s not like I could blame him for not trusting me. But I would have to take my pills in the morning. “Am I allowed to sleep?” Simon folded his arms. I lay down on the bed. Maybe it was the stress of the day or maybe it was the softness of the bed, so unlike the floor I’d spent the past week on, but I fell asleep. I woke up to the light of morning, even filtered through scrapbook paper and news paper it still woke me up. The clock ticking next to me said it was early morning. I rubbed my eyes and looked over to Simon, who slept. I didn’t blame him for not trusting me. I barely trusted myself. There was a blanket on the floor so I picked it up and placed it on him. He jumped up, startling me back and a loud thump revealed that Simon had a gun that he’d carried the night before. Ready to kill me.
It’s not the worst thing that could happen.
I didn’t have long to think like that because Simon rushed me. As if thinking I would go towards the gun. He checked me into the bed which hit the nightstand and brought a very gaudy lamp thumping to the ground. “What do you think you were doing?” “I-“ The thump of footsteps interrupted me and the door burst open. “Oh my,” Kim said from behind Stephan. “Simon, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” The gun was on the floor. I was pinned to the bed. Simon let go of my arms, stunned by the sudden intrusion of three people; Kim, Leslie, and Simon. “We were having sex,” I lied immediately. Fully clothed with a gun on the floor. “I fell off the bed,” I continued to lie, looking at the man sitting across from me. “Right?” I looked searchingly at Simon. Simon nodded, “Uh, yeah sorry about that guys. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Stephan sighed a disappointed sigh, “Well, at least you kept it from the kids.” “Use a condom,” Leslie chirped from the background. Simon and I made eye contact. He was first to look away. “Well, since we’re all up,” Stephan said, “Let’s make breakfast.” I looked up at him and saw the concern on his face. “Simon, why don’t you teach Kim how to light the stove.” Simon stood up and looked at me before grabbing the gun, when he passed Stephan the man murmured, “We’ll talk about this later.” Leslie and Stephan stayed. “Are you okay, Chloe?” I nodded. “Did he hurt you?” Leslie asked softly. “No,” I stood up now and picked up the blanket to toss it back to the pile, “He was just scared.” Stephan still looked at me skeptically. I fled upstairs where Rebecca and Branson still slept. I quickly pulled my pills from their hiding place, dumping out some on the floor before hurrying to push them back in and dry swallowing two. “Chloe?” Brandon was sitting up in his bed, “Yeah?” “Rebecca got scared last night since you weren’t here, she said she was worried the boogeyman got you.” “I promise I’ll sleep in here from now on.” I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise. The lies were starting to stack and I wasn’t sure when the whole thing would come crumbling down.
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Luckily, Stephan was a good enough leader to keep Simon away from me. He loudly asked if I could continue to hang out with the kids, as Rebecca had grown attached to me.For his part, Simon only glared at me from across the table and would volunteer for any of the tasks I oversaw. Having someone angrily fold laundry next to me wasn’t a new experience but he didn’t try small talk. Which made me feel trapped with himMeanwhile, the wind…or the whispers in my case, were starting to put everyone on edge. I added ‘noise cancelling headphones’ to the list without realizing there would be no way to charge them.I thought things had calmed down but then came the knock on the door.We hid upstairs while the others took care of it. It was a tense moment but whoever it was left us alone.Kim however, had other problems.She began first with wheezing. She came home with nothing so she explained to Leslie and I the problem. She had asthma. There was enough dust in the kids room that it triggered her asthma when the stranger knocked on the door. She didn’t have her inhaler but she explained that unless she received her medication she would have another attack next time she was stressed out. There was no ambulance to call.As she started naming her medication, Simon burst through the door.“You led them to us!”He ripped me from my sitting position as the children screamed. There was a rush of noise but the only thing that filled me was anger. The same anger I felt towards a man who was now dead. Simon didn’t expect me to dodge his punch or bite the arm that held me with such ferocity I broke skin.He called me a bad word but all I could hear was static. I needed to calm down but Simon hit me again, this time with the butt of his gun on my arm. He was pulled back at the fulcrum of his strike so it didn’t have the fracturing effect he wanted.“What the hell, Simon?”“She led them to us,” the man accused.“Stephan,” Leslie interrupted, she’d went from holding Kim to holding her children, “We have an emergency.”Kim was wheezing a lot harder now.“I can go to the pharmacy.” I said hollowly.Simon ripped himself from Stephan’s distracted grasp, “Like hell you will.”He grabbed me and“She’s going to take our car and bring back a whole bunch of other people. You guys can’t trust her. She killed Frank.”“Simon,” Leslie shouted this time, “Let her go.”He was frustrated so I forgave him for pushing me a little.“Don’t let her take the car.”“I’ll take my delivery van,” I offered flatly.I knew everyone was panicking but I just couldn’t feel the way they could. True I was a little angry at Simon, part of me even wanted to hurt him, but I couldn’t let Kim die. If Kim died it meant Frank died for nothing. It meant I was the one to blame just like Simon said.Joe followed me down the stairs, “Do you want a gun?”“No.”You always want a gun, you always needed a gun. I just didn’t know it yet.“Lock the door.”“Be safe out there.”I nodded.In the chaos I don’t think anyone noticed I left without a blindfold.There was a Creature out there and I wished I could shoot it but I pointedly looked away. My van was at the end of the street. Keys in hand I jumped into the drivers seat and the engine luckily started. Sometimes the vans were installed with killswitches if they were stolen.But nothing in the back was stolen. I would’ve expected someone else to find refuge in the suburb. The parking brake creaked as I pulled out.There was nothing on the radio, nothing but static. I blew through intersections and didn’t bother to look both ways. I finally peeled into a pharmacy parking lot. Or rather, into a pharmacy.No alarm sounded as I opened the door into the wreckage of the dark pharmacy. There was a smell to the place but I didn’t care.Get more of my pills, maybe a little more food, find the asthma medication and the rescue inhaler.Maybe calm down.I was not calm at all so I stayed sitting in the car. I could’ve driven myself off a cliff or rolled. There was no reason for me to be so scared.I climbed into the back of the van and started ripping open boxes. Someone had to have noise blocking headphones. Plus ripping into the packages was rather therapeutic.Once I finally found a pair of headphones I felt calmer. I climbed through the truck and finally out into the pharmacy. I got toys for the kids, more pills for me, all the medication I could shove in the back of the truck and some more blankets.The loud beep of my van backing up reminded me of why I didn’t like that. The review camera showed at least one of the Creatures out there. I ignored them. I remembered that Kim needed me, the family needed me. I needed to stay alive if only just for them.The only thing I saw that worried me was another car on the road. But the windows were blocked out. I guess that was one way to get more supplies.But it made me worried and rightly so. I should have never left them. I may not have been able to do anything about it, but I never should have left them.I drove up to a scene of chaos. Four people lingered outside the home. The garage door was halfway up and someone was being dragged from it, or trying to get in. Some of them I could take care of as I accelerated to hit one captured unawares. That strange anger was back. How dare they hurt my people. They needed to pay with their life.Only one died when I hit them, the other two hobbled up but I was more focused on the garage. I quickly input the code to bring the garage door up.Two people were already inside. One had breached the door and was trying to drag someone else. A corpse lay on the ground but I wasn’t focused on that.Garages is where they kept the tools. And with big tech becoming more and more popular, there was a lovely little label on one of the drawers that said ‘hammers’.It was a run of the mill hammer and it made a sickening crunch as it hit the first person’s head. The remaining man looked confused at me.“Sister?”I didn’t respond. Everything was telling me to kill him, kill him so there could be more.
More what?
He turned back to his goal, trying to force the door open. He felt it was more important than his life. More important that the woman with the bloody hammer behind him.The whispering came back.“Simon!”A scream came from within when the man overpowered the person struggling to keep the door shut. It was Simon, he had no blindfold on.I threw myself over him.“Close your eyes,” I yelled hotly.The creature was nearby. The man at the door tried to pull someone else out but was stopped when, with another sickening crack, I hit him squarely on the temple. The“Chloe?”“Keep your eyes shut,” I demanded.There was still the Creature and the two others that survived. They didn’t seem to care about their wounds or the threat of danger from her. I couldn’t open the door because of the creature, who knows who was inside. I couldn’t focus on who was screaming out Simon’s name. I only focused on the two humans coming towards me.Don’t kill Simon. Came the ever helpful reminder.They seemed more…scared of me this time.“Sister, will you not help us?”I didn’t say anything but I felt my eyes twitch as I stared them down.“Don’t come any closer.”They ignored me, of course they did.The Creature whirled away, it saw the threat even if it’s little cohorts did not.You’re next.Why did I think that? It didn’t matter. It just mattered that I killed these two.“Chloe?”It was only after Simon spoke that I realized I had killed them a long time ago and remained standing over their bodies like some kind of slasher. How long had I stood?“Chloe?”“Yeah, hold on I have to move something to get the garage door shut.”I dropped the hammer with a loud clang and dragged all the bodies from the garage. One of them was Joe.
You couldn’t save him.
Again, I had to fight of the urge to hurt myself. The garage door needed to be closed.After dragging the bodies pretty much just outside the ragged noise of the door closing finally brought me back to the moment.I walked to the door and opened it slowly, “Guys? We’re coming back in.”Simon opened his eyes and pushed past me, rushing inside.As I stepped in I was face to face with a shotgun.I didn’t even know they had a shotgun.“I’m sorry, Chloe.” Stephan held the gun right at me, “But I can’t let you in.”“Yeah,” was all I said, “I’ve got the medication in my car. Can I get it and bring it in?”Stephan nodded slowly.I closed the door again and opened the garage door and I felt numb the whole time I gathered it all together.They took it and closed the door. It wasn’t until I heard the click of the lock that I broke down crying.I hate the way that I cry. I practically scream. If I was around other people maybe I could fake it and give a few angry hot tears but no. This was full face ugly crying that I couldn’t stop. But it helped. It always helped. IT kept me from thinking about the hurt and the pain and what I just did.After I’d been done crying for awhile, a knock came at the door.“Hello?”“It’s Leslie.”Oh.“I’m bringing you some food.”She stepped inside, walking over to me.“It’s just sandwiches tonight. Everyone is too worried to make food.”“How’s Kim?”“Surviving.”Leslie looked me over for a long time. I tucked my fly-aways back into my hairtie, hoping I didn’t look as bad as I felt.“You saw one, didn’t you?”“Yes.”“But you protected Simon from them, even though he attacked you?”So she knew that wasn’t innocent. “Yes.”I watched her just as carefully, trying to read her posture, see if she held any animosity towards me, “Are you going to tell the others?”Leslie was a mother first and true mothers think about how the future is going to impact their children. Who knows how long she’d been looking for a solution.“No, but you have to promise me something.”“No,” I replied immediately, even though I had no idea what she was going to ask.“Yes. If god forbid something happens, I want you to take the kids.”“Leslie, we don’t even know if I’m safe. That’s why I’m in the garage.”“Shut up,” she was stressed. I forgave her snapping at me.“Where will we go?”“I don’t know.”The look of utter defeat on her face was heartbreaking. There weren’t other moms around. There was only me, the defective human, the broken one exiled to the garage because she wasn’t murdering anyone.“I promise.”It was a lie, it was all a lie. But what else could I say. It would be the only thing to make her happy.“How long have you been able to see them?”“Since the beginning.”“But you haven’t killed us.”“I don’t see what good it would do to kill you,” I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. I took a deep breath and tried again, “I don’t want anyone to die, or to see the creature. Occasionally I want to hurt myself, but I’ve been dealing with that for a lot longer than this invasion.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
So, I was in the garage while they decided my fate. Sitting there among puddles of blood and maybe some old oil stains.I was red now. I was redder than red. The red was on.It seemed stupid to me now. I was in a garage full of neatly labeled weapons. I was more frightening than anything in that house but I just sat leaning up against a little work table.The pills eventually kicked in and a strange wave of calm hung over me. How many did I take?I knocked on the garage door.There must’ve been someone guarding the door because I heard a clatter.Whoever it was, they got back up to come to the door.“I don’t think she’d been polite enough to knock,” someone whispered loud enough for me to hear. They were irritated.I knocked again, this time saying something “Can I have a change of clothes please?”“What?”That was Stephan.“May I please have a change of clothes?”There was fervent whispering again.The door unlocked.“Hi Chloe.”“Hey Stephan,” I was tired and heavy again.There was no shotgun pointed at me now. Maybe if they killed me things would’ve been better. Or maybe they would’ve been worse.“Can I take a shower too?”“Leslie,” Stephan murmured to the side. “Can you help her?”Leslie sighed and nodded.Kim and Simon gaped at me in horror as I shuffled in. I didn’t need to find out why. I was basically just covered in blood and bits of the people I had hammered earlier.Leslie at least had the stomach to help me wash it all out of the tangles in my hair. She brought clothing.“We were split, Simon got Kim on his side.” Leslie told me softly like we were in confessional or something. “But I told Simon you’ve saved him, despite his behavior towards you, you killed a bunch of people to save him. And Kim.”Oh, right that happened, I remembered thinking.“What do they look like?”“Like pictures of Bigfoot.”Leslie even helped dry my hair. That was a new experience.“What’s it like?” I remember her asking.“Do you remember the happiest day of your life?”Leslie nodded. She almost told me, but I interrupted, “Now imagine that you, more than anything on that day want to die. Because there is no way your life will get better than that. So why continue it?”“No, I meant, what the creatures do to you?”“Oh, I have no idea how to describe that.”I was finally clean and washed up and given permission to sleep away from the blood stains in the carpet.Now that I killed people, I suppose my innocence was gone so we had an adult meeting.“Joe had one of those long-range radios,” Stephen told, “God knows why, apparently he used to be a trucker.”“Why are we bringing this up?” I asked politely.Simon started in anger but Leslie loudly spoke over him, “We were discussing leaving while you were at the pharmacy. Joe said there was a haven.”“How do we know they didn’t send the people who attacked us?”“You think Joe’s that stupid?” Simon sneered.You know, that new and ever-present voice said, You could just end his condescension. He obviously doesn’t like women much and especially not one that’s better than him. Instead I said, “Yes.”It almost started another fight but Stephan took Simon to the other room to calm down.“Can you drive us?” Kim said softly.“Kim!”I shrugged, ignoring Leslie’s outburst, “Aren’t you afraid I’m going to kill you like that man in the parking lot?”I turned to Leslie, “Joe’s kind of people don’t seem like the kind of people you want around kids. He wasn’t exactly a master of kind words.”I took the ‘loony’ thing personally, I think.Leslie nodded grimly, “See I thought that too, but with Joe gone I’ve been talking to them. It’s an old hospital and they say they have plenty of food and provisions.”“Is there a car big enough to bring everything you need?” I was asking rather pragmatic questions. “Do you have an old watch?”“Why would we need a watch?”I needed one for my pills.“We’d need about a week to pack. We’ll find a truck and be good to go.”“In the meantime, you can sleep in the garage,” Kim blurted.Leslie sighed and shook her head.I bet it was hard to explain to children.“Ok.”Maybe things would’ve been different if I hadn’t slept in the garage. It took a few days, maybe they knew I was isolated now. They waited and watched until I hadn’t heard from the inside people in a while.I woke up to the soft sound of wind. But it was a sudden awakening, like I had missed something like a scream in the dead of night and awoke only as the scream cut off.I listened, I watched, I waited and then I heard from far away.“Chloe-bear,” came a voice that sounded like Rebecca, “Help.”It came from outside the garage. I immediately went to the door to the house and found it locked. Were they perhaps in trouble?I pressed the garage door opener.The night was eerily still. Which meant the wind earlier was the creature, skulking about the house like some kind of scavenger.I made sure nothing came in as I closed the garage door behind me. Just in case.I walked around to the front of the home and saw the gaping dark maw of the doorway. That meant the door was open. I walked towards it only to hear a faint call from behind me.“Chloe-bear, please. Help me.”I turned and ran.I shouted her name as I jogged down the street. She hadn’t gone far, had she? Her voice wasn’t that faint. Maybe she went to a familiar place. I walked maybe ten minutes before seeing a park. A slide and swing set jutted against the skyglow. And there in the distance the figure of a little girl. I remember running to her breathless. So relieved, so grateful that she hadn’t got far. I stared at her form and it was only halfway there I got the splitting headache. A headache that tore me apart and I squeezed my eyes shut.When my eyes closed, clarity hit me like a ton of bricks. That wasn’t Rebecca. That wasn’t anything. That was a Creature.I opened my eyes again to see the humanoid shape now towering and looming. It could think enough to draw me out and I hated it. I hated more than anything I had hated my entire life including myself and that was what clicked inside of me. I wanted this thing, more than anything, more than myself, to die.But in that moment of pure fury, I still could hear a scream. When I turned back the creature was gone, probably gleefully returning to the house. I was worn out, the adrenaline from searching for Rebecca had long since passed. It felt like I was running through glue, never fast enough to make it anywhere in time.They set the house on fire. Two men stood between me and the beginning of a fire.Unlike the other men, they seemed prepared for me. Waiting to stand between me and the building. Why didn’t I bring a weapon? Why did I rush out?It’s because I didn’t think anything could go wrong.Without a weapon it was easy for the men to overpower me. But my focus was on the front door. It was closed. It had probably always been closed.Auditory and visual hallucinations. I had them before when I was dehydrated. Sometimes with withdrawals but those were random. So, the Creature either made it so I could see these things with a purpose or I saw the creatures themselves.“Chloe!”The scream ripped through the crackle of the fire. It was Leslie. I couldn’t see her. It was like I woke up again.The man on my left had a much softer grip than the man on my right. He was doubled over before the guy on the right could reaction. With a hand free I broke it on the man’s jaw. I didn’t really know how to punch people, but he went down. I must’ve hit a sweet spot. But the guy on the left was recovering.I heard a gunshot and he went down. I took off running for the front door.Creatures gathered behind me. The door was unlocked.Simon stood over Kim’s body, a demented grin on his face.“I protected you.” He said in a very odd voice, “I understand now, why we’re so important.”“Give me the gun, Simon,” I demanded.“Of course, let’s go upstairs and get the others.”Upstairs was bad. Upstairs mean smoke inhalation. I took the gun Simon handed over and shot him in the head.“Leslie?” I screamed, I breathed in smoke immediately, the fire was really starting to catch.There was a Creature in the house. I couldn’t tell if I let it in or if Simon had.The fire upstairs was just starting to catch.“Leslie?”“In here,” came the muffled reply. It was the bathroom.Stephan lay on the ground not moving.Leslie seemed eerily calm as she sat in the bathtub breathing shallowly. I knew she was dying with the out of focus look she gave me. “Chloe.”“What happened?”“Simon followed you. He wanted to know where you were going. Stephan tried to lock him in the bathroom, but Simon hit him with a gun.”“Is he alive?”“I don’t think so.” Leslie said almost dreamily, “The kids have their blindfolds on in the other room.”“You’re bleeding a lot.”“Yeah, one of the guys hit me with a knife. But he hit me in the wrong place.” Leslie took a deep breath, “Chloe, you promised.”“What? No you can survive this. We just have to –“We just have to get her to a hospital. The new voice inside me sneered.“No, Chloe there more of them. There’s a bunch more. Take the kids. You promised you would. Take them in the car to someplace safe.”Safe, where could possibly be safe?I heard something fall and the floor shook.“Now, Chloe,” Leslie mustered enough strength to be angry, “Now. You promised.”There was blood on my palm from leaning over to her to hand her the gun, “Just in case. Don’t use it on yourself though.”It was easy to usher the shell shocked kids hurriedly through the house, or maybe it was easy now looking back on it to push them through the house to the car. The garage door opened and threw the car in reverse and gave the two children an order for the rest of their life.“Don’t take off your blindfolds no matter what.”