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Ryan stood, leaning against the bathroom wall of a motel room some seniors were staying in, taking a long drag of his cigarette. The taste wasn't something he was very fond of but it was something to take the edge off and keep him calm. But no matter how much he smoked, Ryan could never erase the "giant ball of stress that was his life" or so he would call it. A bit excessive and overdramatic but that's just the type of person Ryan is. See, most teens would be spending their Friday night getting plastered at a house party or sneaking into the back row of a movie theater but what was Ryan doing? Hiding out in a motel bathroom of a room he snuck into.The reason Ryan is at a hotel is because he ran away from home again. Earlier that day when he arrived at his house his Dad was drunk and sprawled out over their couch. The entire living room smelled of booze and cigarettes with bottles of beer and Jack Daniels scattered across the floor.This wasn't out of the ordinary, in fact it had become the usual in the household by now, but there was something off about the way Ryan's dad behaved. Usually Ryan would head straight to his room after he got home from school but as he headed up the stairs his dad called for him. "RYAN COME DOWN HERE.""Yeah dad? Im right here." Ryan said as he walked over to where his father laid. "Here's twenty bucks," his dad said, placing the bill in his hands, "go to the liquor store down the street and get me a case of Heineken, would ya?" Ryan paused before mumbling "I can't, Dad.""WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?" His dad half yelled/ half slurred while moving to sit up. "I'm only 16, it's illegal to buy alcohol under the age o-"Ryan was interrupted by a punch to the face. "Don't talk back to me, boy." As he held a hand on his lip, Ryan could feel a painful lump in his throat as his vision got blurrier until he could feel warm tears streaking down his cheeks. After moments of silence, other than the sounds of Ryan's sniffles, Ryan's dad stood up and let out a sny chuckle, "Are you seriously crying right now? Jesus, i didn't raise you like a fucking girl. Learn how to take a hit like a man for once in your life." He said before his hand had found itself across Ryan's face again."D-dad please! I'm sorry! I swear-" "Save it," Ryan's dad said in a quiet but threatening tone as he grabbed Ryan by his shirt collar and dragged him into the master bedroom. As soon as they stepped in the room the door was slammed shut and Ryan was flung onto the bed. Ryan curled into himself as his dad started screaming again. "You piece of shit! No wonder your mom didn't want you! You're a disgrace. A nobody. A faggot."Instead of fighting or defending himself Ryan chose to sit there and deal with it. Not doing anything was better than talking back or running away and ending up with a beating ten times worse than what he would already be getting. So he sat there, knees pressed against his chest, tears rolling down his cheeks, trying to block out any and all noises, and praying that someone would come and save him."Look at you, too much of a chicken-shit to even look me in the eyes when im speaking to you! God, you're always so sensitive Ry. Are you a girl? Or maybe you're just a homo, huh?" Ryan's head shot up, now making eye contact with his own father. "N-no I'm not!"His dad gave a devilish look. "Oh really? It really seems like you are, Ryan. I bet you suck cock, hmm? Bet you get on your hands and knees like a little slut. Like a worthless fairy," at this point Ryan was being backhanded across his left cheek. His dad gripped the back of Ryan's hair and tugged, keeping his head up to look at his own. "I bet you even beg for it. Beg to get fucked right in that tight little ass of yours." Ryan's dad whispered into his ear."Dad stop! Please! No more!" Ryan yelled, using his hands to pry his dad's fingers from out of his hair. He ran out of the bedroom, into the living room to grab his bag from beside the couch, and ran out the door. After a mile straight of running he realized he had no where else to go. He didn't have any family near by and he sure as hell didn't have any friends in this town so where else could he go? After a few more minutes walking a lightbulb lit up in his head as Ryan remembered what his classmate told him."Dude, you gotta go to the motel 6 by the school Friday night. A bunch of seniors are throwing a party and its gonna be epic! You can even sneak in if you tell the chick at the front desk you're here for the party, she doesn't even check if you're legit. Its crazy, man."To be fair its a good system. Not too expensive, won't get in trouble, and some housekeeper cleans up after the gigantic mess you've made. But Ryan isn't the party type. At all. That being said, where else could he go with no money and nowhere to stay? This party was his best bet.So that's how he ended up where he is now. Ryan took one final smoke before putting out the cigarette in the sink and sitting down on the polished linoleum floor. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the annoying bass boosted music when moments later the door swung open. Ryan quickly jumped to his feet to tell whatever douchebag that busted in that the bathroom was occupied only to be left speechless.There in front of him stood Brendon Urie, eyes glazed over and sweaty hair matted to his forehead, legs wobbling and struggling to stand in place. The Brendon Urie that is in the top of all his classes, the Brendon Urie that is first seat in band class, the Brendon Urie that has won every talent show he's ever entered. And now, the Brendon Urie that is drunk out of his mind alone at a party."Umm... Can i help you?' Ryan asked, only to be met with Brendon's scared pair of eyes and him running over to throw up in the toilet. "Oh! Oh okay. Um. I'm just gonna go then." Ryan said turning around on his heels."Wait!" Brendon called after him. "I don't f-feel so good. Can you help me please?" Ryan felt his stomach drop unexpectedly and instead of bolting out the door as soon as possible he turned around to see Brendon with his bottom lip slightly stuck out and a pleading look in his eyes. Ryan let out a long sigh, "Yeah. Yeah, sure, i can do that. What do you need?" Brendon lurched his body forward, throwing up more cheap liquor and began to cry, "God I-I don't know just, please. Don't leave me." Ryan paused and then hesitantly walked over and sat on the ground beside him.Ryan has had tons of experience with caring for his dad when he gets too drunk but right now he had no clue what to do. For some reason unbeknownst to Ryan it felt different. It didn't feel like he wanted to punch and scream and cry anymore. Now all he wanted was to make the boy next to him feel better. "Shh shh. Hey, it's okay. I won't leave you, I'll be right here making sure you're safe. Sound good?" He said, rubbing a hand up and down Brendon's back.Brendon looked over and nodded his head lazily with a small polite smile before leaning his head on Ryan's shoulder and drifting off into sleep. Eventually Ryan fell asleep with him.
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Brendon woke up to a painful throbbing headache. He inhaled sharply as he opened his eyes. He would have stood up if it weren't for the fact that his entire body felt like it had been hit by a truck, so he opted to take a look at his surroundings from where he layed. He was in a bathroom that he didn't recognize, everything all around the room was spotless except for the toilet which had faint greenish-yellow streaks down the side. No doubt this was a hotel bathroom. But why was he of all people sleeping in a hotel bathroom? Brendon reached towards his front pocket to look for his phone but instead found a pair of arms wrapped loosely around his lower-waist, and by the looks of it, they were a man's arms. Only then did reality really set in and now Brendon could clearly tell that he was laying against a total stranger. Brendon carefully moved the man's hands underneath him away from his body and slowly began to lift himself off the ground. Unfortunately, the man still managed to wake up."Hey, you okay?" He said groggily. Brendon turned around to face the person sat on the ground. Now getting a clear look at him, Brendon noticed the boy seemed to be around his age. He wore black skinny jeans and a zipped-up grey hoodie. His fashion really wasn't dissimilar to Brendon's own but Brendon would argue that it looked better on the stranger, seeing as it was more fitting to his long and skinny body. Brendon was a bit wider than the other boy, more muscular than him. But the most notable feature of the boy was definitely his hair. His hair was very... Unique some would call it. It was definitely flat ironed to death and was teased at the top like a mohawk. An unusual look but he pulls it off really well. It's a style that brendon could dream about having but would never put in the effort to actually achieve it. Instead he just leaves his bangs messy."Oh well um.. No. No I'm not actually." Brendon said adding a slight chuckle at the end, "I don't know how i got here and i-i need to get back home." His voice slowly became more panicked as the sentence continued and he began to gently tap his fingers against his thigh. "I just- I have no clue what happened last night or who you are or- or why my body hurts so much or-""Hey it's okay, it's okay!" The stranger interrupted when he saw Brendon's eyes start to water, "Look, how about i get you some coffee and painkillers and then we'll figure out what happened." He said standing up. Brendon took a deep sigh. "Yeah, that'd be nice.""Okay. Um, hold on, give me a sec." The other man said, turning towards the doorway; he then turned back towards Brendon before leaving. "My name's Ryan by the way." He said before heading out the door. Brendon smiled to himself once he left. Ryan. It really suits him.*"Here, take two of these," Ryan said setting down a bottle of Advil and a glass of water on the table in front of Brendon. "Thanks." Brendon mumbled grabbing the bottle and untwisting the childproof cap. Ryan headed back towards the hotel's buffet, retrieving the instant coffee from the breakfast bar."So you don't remember anything from last night?" Ryan asked heading back to their table. Brendon shakes his head. "Hmm okay," Ryan mumbled "well what Is the last thing you remember?" He said handing over the mug."Oh okay let me think." Brendon said looking down at his coffee. "Well, me and a good friend were hanging out at a park a few blocks down from his place. We weren't doing much, and after a while he mentioned something about a friend inviting him to some party. After that, it's a little fuzzy, but i do remember walking into a tiny room with lots of people and weird music. Oh, and this one guy handed me a drink and it tasted really gross, but everyone else seemed to like it so i sort of just sucked it up and kept drinking it." He said nervously. "And what's even crazier, is not even that much later the same guy tells me I bet you can't drink this entire bottle in under a minute. I'm pretty sure after that i just took the bottle from his hand and started chuggin' it, how crazy is that!" Brendon said raising his voice and talking faster as the story goes on. Then he flashes a small dorky smile that even makes Ryan's lips curl up a bit. It really amazed Ryan just how innocent Brendon seemed. He couldn't really be that innocent, could he? Ryan didn't believe so."After that- well I don't remember anything else." Brendon mumbled. "Okay, well that sure is a lot to unpack," Ryan chuckled "I can explain but it'll take a little while." Brendon took out his phone to see three missed calls from his friend, the one that brought him to the party. "Um actually i think i should head back to my friends house." He said with a clearly disappointed look in his eyes. Ryan felt his stomach drop to the floor. He didn't even know the boy that well, so he really shouldn't have been this upset. Maybe he was just tired of being alone or maybe he just wanted to know more. But those reasons aside, there was definitely something different about Brendon. Something that interested Ryan more than anyone else. "Oh. I um. I thought we could hang out for a little bit longer." Ryan mumbled. "But it's fine, no worries." He said quickly, putting on a polite smile. Brendon once again reached for his phone and checked the time. He then looked up at Ryan with a nervous smile"Well i guess i could stay for a few more hours."
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"Wow I really got wasted last night, didn't I," Brendon said now looking up at Ryan, he nods. "Frick, my parents are gonna kill me!" Brendon said with a sigh as he tilted his head down. Ryan couldn't help but laugh. "Frick? Seriously? What are you, 8?" he said jokingly, however, when Brendon looked over with legitimately scared eyes, Ryan knew this was serious. "Look, your parents aren't going to kill you. Just don't tell them that you drank! Simple as that." Ryan stated as if this was obviously matter-of-fact. "But I can't lie to them, I would never lie to them.""Hey it's not lying, you're just leaving out a few details. No harm done, right?" Ryan responded. "Yeah. I-I guess that makes sense. Thanks, Ry!", Brendon grinned. "No problem." Ryan says smiling and looking down at his feet. "You should probably be heading home though, wouldn't wanna be late to church, huh?" he teased. "Oh, shut up!", Brendon giggled, shoving Ryan slightly. "But yeah, i really should be heading home right about now. Parents are pretty strict y'know? Oh! and um, i know this sounds weird but would you mind walking me home? This area can be pretty sketchy at night." Ryan rolled his eyes. "Sure thing, Bren. Want me to hold your hand too?", he smirked. Brendon just looked at Ryan angrily before taking his hand and dragging him forward. "Shut up and just follow me, would you? My house should be only ten minutes away from here, we'll be there in no time." Ryan trailed behind, keeping his hand in Brendon's and surprisingly he had no more sarcastic comments to give.*After about a ten minute walk, the boys arrived at Brendon's house and Ryan looked at the home in disbelief because there's no way Brendon actually lives here. Well okay, so maybe it's not the fanciest house in the world, but compared to Ryan's house it's like a mansion. The house was made of brick and had to be at least 3 stories tall with a pool in the back and a decent sized garden in the front. To Ryan it seemed too good to be true, he wouldn't expect anyone from his school to live in a place like this. "Okay, this is my stop," Brendon turned around and smiled at Ryan. He tried to say something but looked down at the ground nervously. "So, Um. Thanks for taking care of me and all that stuff. It was really nice to meet you.""Yeah, it was nice hanging out with you." Ryan said putting his hands in his front pockets. "So i'll see you around?" Brendon said as more of a question than a goodbye but Ryan just responds with "later!" and starts walking again. Brendon sighs as he walks to the front door. He twists the doorknob and takes a step inside. Once he makes his way into the living room, his mom stops him. "Hey, what took you so long?" she asks with an annoyed tone in her voice, "Thought you were only gonna be gone a few hours.""Yeah sorry, I was with a friend, just lost track of time I guess." Brendon responds walking towards the kitchen. "Oh really?" His mom teases, "What kind of friend, huh?" Brendon rolls his eyes at that. "Not like that mom, I swear. I know I'm not allowed to date." He says with a sigh. Brendons parents were both very clear that they didn't accept him dating anyone until he had moved out of the house, however, ever since Brendon came out as gay to them his mom and dad make extra sure that Brendon did absolutely nothing that could be deemed as romantic towards another boy. His parents are very religious you see. His dad is even the priest at their church, and being homosexual is a sin in their eyes."Listen Brendon, I feel like we should have a talk." Brendon closed his eyes in thought. Did something happen? Did he do something? Brendon turned around to face his mother "What's up?""Listen, I know you're going to hate me for asking but how would you feel about moving to Jarbidge?" She asks, as if it's just a casual conversation. Brendon's eyes widened in shock, "Are you serious?" He half yells, "Jarbidge is like a nine hour drive from Las Vegas, why would we move there? I thought everything was fine." His mom gives him a sincere look of sympathy and puts a hand on Brendon's shoulder. "I'm sorry sweetie, but your dad got a really good job offer and we've been looking at houses, we found a nice one for a reasonable price up there. I know you don't want to but i think it would be for the best.""Well, why would dad take a job so far away from here? That makes no sense! I thought he loved working at the church." Brendon felt angry, yes, but some part of him felt hurt, as if his parents did this on purpose just to screw him over. "Honey, I know this is all very hard for you but you need to calm down. It won't be as bad as you think! In fact, I know you'll change your mindset once we get there." Brendon scoffed, "Oh yeah? How do you know that?" Brendon's mom seemed hesitant to answer but she calmly responded, "Well me and your father were thinking about taking you to a conversion therapist. He lives in Jarbidge and helps young confused men like yourself. I think it would really help you get on the right path."Now all the pieces fell into place. Of course it wasn't because of a job or a house or any of those other ploys, it was because of Brendon. "Mom, I can't change who I am!" Brendon shouted, "Conversion therapy won't solve anything, you'd just be wasting your money." He continued storming past his mom and she called after him, "This is the only option I have left! God knows how many times I've prayed for your soul to be saved, I've tried everything." His mother paused, putting a hand om Brendon's shoulder "Everything except conversion therapy, that is." she pleaded and pleaded useless nothings. "I don't understand why you can't just love me for who I am? I am your son, after all." Brendon turned around to look his mom face to face. "i wish you could accept me but no, of course not. That concept is too God damn hard to you to grasp,""Brendon! Language!""Of course it's so fucking wrong to be anything but heterosexual because 'God says so',""Brendon Boyd Urie, you watch your language right now!""All those preachers and churches are complete bullshit, i just-""That's it, leave right now!" His mother screamed. Brendon stared at her in confusion before she clarified, "Go upstairs and pack your things. You are going to leave this house for good, you understand me!?" She yelled grabbing her son by his shirt collar. "M-mom I'm sorry! I swear I'll-""Leave. Now."Brendon scoffs and runs into his room, opening his dresser drawers and quickly shoves handfuls of his clothes into his backpack lying on the ground beside him. At the bottom of one of the drawers lies a polaroid photo of Brendon, age 4, at his birthday party. His mom and dad are stood to the left of Brendon, smiling, while the birthday boy has his chin covered in cake frosting. A smile creeped it's way onto Brendon's face, but at the same time he felt as if he would burst into tears at any moment. He squeezes his eyes shut tight as he drops the photograph into the small plastic trash bin next to his dresser. He picks up his bag and leaves his room, and walks past his mother on the way to the door. He takes a deep inhale and turns around to face her. The tip of her nose is a faint red and her eyes are watering and puffy."I love you, Mom. Don't forget about me, okay?"And those are the last words Brendon would ever say to his mother.*"Pick up, pick up, pick up!" Brendon chanted under his breath, watching the warmth coming from his mouth makes smoke in the cold air. After about 5 rings, the phone was finally answered, "Hello? Brendon?", his friend greeted, "Jon! Thank god. Listen i-" "God I'm so, so sorry Bren, it was totally my fault. I should've been looking out for you, but i left you all alone at that party." Jon was apologizing desperately, like their friendship would end if he didn't. "Hey, hey, it's fine. I'm fine now" Brendon interrupted, "Well kind of. Look, can i stay at your place tonight?""Oh I'm afraid you can't, I'm spending the night at my friend Spencer's house. But you can come over here if you want to." Jon reasoned, "Oh yes, that'd be great!" Brendon exclaimed, smiling a bit to himself. Jon would never admit it but he gushed over Spencer all the time, so Brendon was excited to meet his friend's - no homo, obviously - man crush. "Okay cool, I'll text you the address. He only lives a couple blocks away from you so it should be easy to find. See you soon!" Jon says, ending the call. Brendon checks his texts and sees that from where he is now Spencer's place is a less than 2 minute walk. When Brendon arrives at this stranger's house he can see from the window that at least three people were inside talking with one another. He rings the doorbell and seconds after Jon answers the door."Brendon! Come inside, I want you to meet everyone." Jon says with pure excitement in his eyes as he grabs Brendon by his upper arm and walks him inside the house. "This is my buddy, Spencer, who you've heard me go on and on about. Spence, this is Brendon." Jon's friend sticks out his right hand for Brendon to take hold of, "Nice to meet you!" Brendon says after a moment of silence. Spencer just nods his head and smiles. "Oh, and there's another guy who i just met today, he's Spencer's friend. I think you'll like him," Jon then leans in closer and whispers, "He's totally your type, dude!" Brendon shoves him away playfully as Jon walks down the hall and heads into a bedroom. When he returns, Jon is accompanied by a familiar face."I'd like you to meet Mr.Ryan Ross."