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— Judy assumed that things would all run smoothly after Violet took over after the Hart fiasco. What, with a woman looking things over, things were bound to look up. Right? No. Definitely not right. Not only was she increasingly distracted, but she was increasingly distracted by something that certainly shouldn’t distract her. She found herself fumbling with papers, dropping pens, making frequent typos, and everything she did before Violet took over. Not that she was bothered by Violet in that position, but something felt off. Very off. There was something about her flitting around the office, her head held high and the sleeves of her blazer pushed up to her elbows. Was it the authority? Well, it couldn’t possibly be jealousy, as she had no desire to have that kind of power. She was happy with her job. It was respectable, and she could keep herself to herself. There just seemed to be something about the way Violet leaned against the counter when she sipped her coffee. Something. What was it? — With all of this on her mind, Judy was sailing right into her second breakdown of the week. She’d already managed to spill two cups of coffee. Hell, she didn’t even drink coffee! Her therapist had advised taking time for herself when she could, but what did that mean? Well, she had some of those fashion magazines. The ones with the pretty models in the dresses she wished she could afford. That didn’t do much for her, or her situation. As for men, she didn’t have much luck there, either. Plenty of her coworkers had advised her to try to move on; to find someone new. Men didn’t interest her, per se. Maybe it was because most of the men that had been in her life were sleazes. — Judy decided she’d really have to knuckle down to keep her job. It’d take some going to get back on track, but it’d have to do. It was a half past five, and she was still lingering around the office. Well, it’d be best to get ahead on all of that paperwork. Violet didn’t leave until six, as far as she knew, so that wouldn’t be a problem. She was fidgeting with the printer, the same way she had when she’d first started working there. What had gotten into her? Judy knew that she couldn’t keep this up. She’d gotten incredibly lonely in the office, and usually she had little to no filter. Yet, with nobody around after Doralee left to pursue a career in...something or other (she could never remember the name), she’d grown to keep things to herself. Not very Judy-like. She’d have to snap out of it sooner or later. She’d just about given up when the printer started whirring, but produced nothing. She mumbled to herself, wiping her palms on her skirt. — “Judy? It’s not like you to work over. You ought to be gettin’ home, kiddo.” Violet. Judy turned with a nervous smile. “Oh! Violet. You startled me there. It’s been a while,” she said, keeping her tone light. In fact, she’d spoken her only two days ago. ‘Kiddo’. Violet wasn’t so much older than Judy. Four years, if she remembered it right — “You seem a little tense there,” Violet mused, setting down the file she’d brought with her. “Are you feeling okay, Judy? You’re about as pale as a ghost.” Judy laughed, sounding close to delirious. “No, no, I’m alright. Really. Just a little out of the swing today, is all. If this darn printer would work...” she trailed off, glancing at the machine hopelessly. Violet stepped in further to investigate, and Judy recognised her perfume. She didn’t like it to begin with, but heaven knows she wouldn’t even dream of telling her that. A few moments passed, and the printer was up and running. “There. I think you should—well, I don’t know. Get yourself a glass of water.” Judy smoothed out her skirt, glancing down at her feet and nodded. She rubbed her collarbone subconsciously before looking up. Good lord, Violet seemed taller than she had before. Perhaps it was the heels. Well, could they be classed as heels? Violet was so busy these days that they rarely had the time to speak to one another. That dampened her mood on occasion. Judy reached to gather her papers, clearing her throat lightly. “In that case, I guess I should go,” she said with another anxious laugh. As she turned to hurry off with her arms full of papers, Violet reached for her elbow. “How about something to drink? Just the two of us at my place. I think we have some catching up to do,” Violet suggested, and her confidence didn’t falter. Now, she wasn’t sure why, but the concept thrilled Judy. Maybe she was attached to Violet, and more than she thought. Then again, they were very close friends, and had been for months. “Well, that does sound nice...” she said thoughtfully, thinking back to the first time they’d gotten together casually. With Doralee. Well, that was an experience. Not so much drinking as smoking. She didn’t mind that so much, either, but she’d be damned if she admitted that. “Well, don’t just stand there, kid. Go grab your stuff. We have places to be,” Violet teased, although Judy had dashed out of the room to gather her things. “Huh.” — The ride to Violet’s place was quiet. Almost uncomfortable. Usually, Judy would get the subway. She kept her back straight and her hands folded neatly in her lap. She usually wasn’t so tense, but Violet felt like a stranger. And there was that something she couldn’t pick out. Judy glanced at her as she drove, and he looked at her arms, then her hands, then she looked away. Violet pulled up outside. “Welcome back, right?” She mused, getting out of the car and opening the door for Judy as she gathered her things. She seemed to carry a bigger bag these days. Judy offered a smile and a thanks as she got out of the car. She wasn’t used to that kind of politeness, from Violet specifically. Violet was very down to earth. Very business-minded. Very strong. She noticed the way Violet’s hand brushed her lower back as she stepped in. She cleared her throat. — “I don’t think it’s alcohol tonight, kiddo. The hangover would be shameful,” Violet laughed, handing her a glass of water. Judy observed the way she sat; an ankle crossed over her knee and her arms draped over the back of the couch. Violet had never really been very ladylike, despite the lipstick and the ‘heels’. She’d perched on the edge of the couch, unbuttoning her jacket subtly and smoothing out her skirt. “What’s on your mind, huh? Usually you talk until one of us shuts you up.” Did she really talk that much? It was a nervous habit. Judy shook her head, looking down. “Oh, it’s silly. I just need a good nights sleep. I think we could all do with that,” she said, her expression changed to that of slight concern. She hadn’t slept well in quite some time.— “What’s with the extra work? It’s not like you,” she added, dismissing her comment. Violet seemed to know her too well. “Oh, you know. It’s always very respectable to get ahead. Heaven knows we don’t have it easy,” Judy said as she sipped her water. Truthfully, she was drawing closer to the impending meltdown. And now she was alone with Violet. Violet, who...who what? Did she intimidate her? No, they’d been friends for too long. What on Earth had gotten into her? “Things just seem to be down, right now,” she attempted to explain with a light sigh. “You know, it’s difficult. It’s awfully lonely in the office, and things are falling apart. It’s a lot to deal with, and I thought that maybe I should be doing better. Well, without you and Doralee, I’m back at square one.” Violet shifted her position, leaning forward with her arms resting on her knees. “Judy, that’s crazy talk. Now, you aren’t the easiest gal I’ve dealt with, but you have something.” Judy looked at her, smoothing out her hair and diverting her gaze. “I really don’t know what’s gotten into me, Violet. Really, I don’t.” She thought about how strange this was. A couple months back, it was the three of them, but there was always something between Violet and her. If anything happened to go wrong, she’s the one Judy would call. Violet clicked her tongue, raising her eyebrows. “How bad can it be, huh? I mean, we really went through it with Hart. I’m sure if you could deal with that, then you’ve got this.” Judy supposed she had to be right. Well, if Violet wasn’t right, then nobody was. That’s what she thought, anyway. She was a guide for her, in a sense. She wasn’t just a ‘friend’, but Judy hated the thought of viewing her as a sister of sorts. Doralee saw Violet as a sister, as she’d once told her. That didn’t sit right with her. “Well, you’re right. I’m making such a fuss,” Judy tutted softly, rubbing at her collarbone anxiously. “It’s just so much pressure on me, and I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. I wouldn’t last a day in your job. I—it’s-you were so nice to me. On my first day.” Judy looked away, wiping her eyes after being suddenly hit with a wave of overwhelming something or other. Judging by Violet’s expression, she wasn’t surprised by this. She’d seen her cry plenty of times, and she knew just how prone to tears Judy was. It didn’t bother her so much. “Because, kiddo, I knew you had a lot to offer at Consolidated. Even with your...big ol’ hat.” Judy laughed wetly, recalling just how patient and lenient Violet had been through her time there. It surprised her, if she were to be honest. She hadn’t had anybody be so gracious with her in a very long time.— Violet reached to pat Judy’s hands, which were folded in her lap the way they had been in the car journey to her place. Judy glanced down at them, and noticed the cold, yet comforting touch. She felt a surprising pang of disappointment as she pulled back her hand “I’ve spoken to my therapist about all of this, but I can’t seem to find any luck around here. Things have really started to get to me in the most unusual way,” Judy said, returning to her anxious state. Well, she knew that once she started talking, she couldn’t stop herself even if she tried. “Those fashion magazines—the ones Doralee gave to me? Well, they distract me more than anything, and I can’t seem to figure out why. And it’s so lonely back at my place. Ever since the divorce. I’m not having all the best luck with men. They don’t interest me like they used to. Oh, there’s something probably very wrong with me,” Judy said before burying her face in her hands. Violet’s eyebrows raised. She managed to piece things together—or so she hoped. She shifted, sighing as she crouched in front of Judy. Well, she supposed there was one way of testing out her hypothesis. She eased Judy’s small hands from her face before leaning in to kiss her. Judy jumped, and she made a surprised noise. She was just about ready to kiss back before it hit her. She pulled back, hand flying to her mouth. Judy looked down, another surprised noise. Was she supposed to—no.— “Violet—I’m flattered—I am, but I don’t like women that way,” she stammered, thumbing away the lipstick that had transferred. Violet’s expression implied she didn’t believe that for one second. Judy tumbled over her words, and she couldn’t make sense of it all. “What about Joe?” Violet laughed shortly, a small smile on the corner of her lips. “We didn’t work out.” She cleared her throat, still trying to form a sentence. By now, the waterworks had started again, and Judy was sniffling and wiping her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against your...preferences.” It hadn’t occurred to her that—no. No? She couldn’t possibly...no. Judy hadn’t shown interest in women. Nor did she think she ever would. Her mind was racing to say the very least. Women? Well, Violet was nicer than any man she’d ever met. She treated her well. She wasn’t homosexual. Was she? Was Violet? There was Joe, even if it hadn’t worked out. And her previous husband, God rest his soul. Well, there was a lot she didn’t know. Violet’s expression was a strange mix of amusement and pity. She didn’t find it funny as much as she found it almost infuriating. Judy had only just started to consider than maybe the something about her was a something about her. That was crazy talk. It had to be. She was married to a man. She mustered the fortitude to turn back to Violet. The way she looked really hit Judy like a ton of bricks. She was blind enough to miss this, and maybe hazy from all the crying. — Judy looked troubled before clumsily leaning back in to kiss her and—there it was. That feeling of things falling into place. Falling into place where they shouldn’t be. She was kissing her boss. Her female boss. Her friend. Her closest friend. It was Violet’s moment of surprise now. Her hysterical, seemingly struggling, and very dear friend had just kissed her and smudged her lipstick after an ill aim when she leaned in. — She wasn’t going to break away, as she knew that when she did, she’d think about it. The fashion magazines, and the way she looked at Violet, and the way she fumbled whenever she was around made sense to her. To an extent. Violet pulled back, more concerned about Judy’s actual wellbeing. “Slow down, kiddo. You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack,” she said with another one-syllable laugh. Her lipstick had smudged around Judy’s mouth. Upon this, she shook her head, a vague gesture as she pulled Violet back in hastily. Judy’s hair had came undone partially, and strands fell in her face. She was so vulnerable, and it seemed unusual, even with Violet around. This was new. Very new. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to consider the consequences or anything past that moment in time. It scared her, truthfully. She really was making a mess of this. — Time passed, thoughts passed, kisses exchanged, no thought. She’d really done it this time. Violet had checked with her countless times, and Judy insisted, because she wanted to know the feeling. Maybe it would clear it up for her. They’d fallen back onto Violet’s bed, and any consequences were thoroughly taken out. So, Judy found herself with her hair falling out, lipstick around her mouth, on her neck, and elsewhere. Oh, what on Earth had she done? She was up to her ass, now. Oh, good lord. Violet lit up a cigarette as Judy...recovered. She was hazy, and not sure what she’d just done with Violet. “Violet! You put that out. They’re bad for you,” Judy reprimanded, turning to Violet as the fumes hit her. “Oh, come on, Judy. It’s only a cigarette. Hey, you’ve smoked worse.” Judy huffed and pulled the sheets around herself as she started to fall back into reality. Oh, Christ. Oh, this was it. She was surely going to face her death. She’d be damned to hell if it wasn’t good. Better than any man had given her. She didn’t like women that way. She couldn’t. Judy Bernly was not a lesbian. She repeated this to herself until she fell into a shifty sleep. A sleep she hadn’t noticed she’d fallen into. Violet covered her to save her dignity. She turned on her side, wondering how this all came about. — Judy awoke to the familiar sound of an alarm clock, only the alarm clock wasn’t hers. She opened her eyes blearily, and jumped as she heard the alarm clock harshly turned off. She sat up, and as the sheet slipped, she instantly yanked it back up. Violet. Judy shook her head, hand covering her mouth again. “Oh, I can’t have—“ she said, quickly reached to pull on her underwear. She was supposed to be respectable. “Good morning to you too, kiddo,” Violet murmured from beside her. Judy quickly stumbled to the bathroom, almost tripping over her own feet. She was a mess. She attempted to fix her hair, and rubbed at the lipstick stains. Hold on—a hickey? Judy Bernly did not receive hickeys, and she didn’t receive them from women, most of all. She wasn’t homophobic. Good lord, no. Maybe she’d enjoyed it. She had enjoyed it. She looked up to shed the reflection of Violet in the mirror, clad only in a robe. “Violet—whatever we did last night....” Judy stammered. ‘We’. Well, it was mainly Violet (Judy hadnt a clue what she was doing). “I just—I really ought to go, because I have to change, and—I could be late today—please just-I’ll be in by ten-“ Violet cut in. “Now, hey there, Judy, you need to slow down. I’m no therapist, but I don’t think you’d have went through with it if you didn’t enjoy th—“ Judy flitted past her, hand at her mouth as she stifled a quiet cry. She cried a lot. She went back to Violet’s, quite frankly, pretty room. She pulled on her blouse, buttoning it. “It’s inside out, kiddo.” She threw her hands up in exasperation, clicking her tongue. “I think we ought to talk about what—“ Judy shushed her. “I just thought that—“ She shushed more insistently. “Violet, I am on the very edge of a very nervous breakdown. Please keep your voice down,” Judy said, unusually airy tone as she pulled on her skirt. — Violet leaned against the doorframe. “Oh, cut me some slack. I don’t believe that you—“ Judy, once again, shushed her. “I am very serious.” This was too much to deal with at 7 in the morning. Judy didn’t want to be cold towards her, but she’d have to handle this alone. “I’ll see you at work, Violet,” she said shakily, slipping on her shoes and briskly grabbing her jacket. Violet reached to take her forearm, pulling her back slightly and kissing her briefly. Just to be sure. “Be there by ten.” That threw her off, well and truly. That seemed too tender, and it frightened Judy. She tightened her jacket around her. — Judy made it to the office before ten, and she looked like she’d made it after being dragged for three blocks. This certainly wasn’t like her. She hurried in, setting down her things and sitting at her desk. She rearranged pencils and such, but the tension seemed to stay. Her mind drifted back to that something about her. The something that Judy was starting to entertain as attraction to her. Not that she was interested in women. Well, thinking as sensibly as she could at that point, maybe she was. It would explain a lot. Oh, good heavens. — Violet jumped just about six feet in the air as the door to her office slammed at around 3. Of course, there was a ruffled-looking Judy Bernly standing in front of the door. “We have to talk.” She could’ve laughed at that if she’d been even close to the right mind. Well, this was was Violet was asking of her earlier. “Roll down your darn sleeves, because that is more than I can handle right now.” Violet did so, an inquisitive look on her face. “That’s a pretty little rash you have on your neck there, kid,” she pointed out. Judy’s expression very quickly changed as her hand went to her neck. She hadn’t even considered covering that. “Not now, Violet. I am trying to take this seriously. Please. Oh, lord, I’m losing it. No—hold on, you listen here!” This was pitiful on both sides. Violet sat back in her chair, leaning backwards a little. Judy’s eyes flickered over her, and how relaxed she looked. How her hair was so...nice? Her legs. She had nice legs, and Judy knew that for a fact. She hoped. It was hazy. — “Before you start waving your finger at me, you oughta remember that what happened wasn’t one sided. I did ask for your c—“ “Violet! That is not what I was implying. I know that—that it was mutual. Oh, god, you don’t regret it, do you? Violet?” “My name is like crack to you, huh?” She looked amused, but her expression softened at the way Judy looked at her. “No, I don’t regret it. I’m not the brightest spark, but I wouldn’t have done what I did if I thought I was gonna regret it. Do you?” Judy paused. The million dollar question. Her eyes flickered over Violet’s face, but she didn’t meet her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it. Her neatly clipped fingernails grazed over her just as neatly pleated skirt. “No, I don’t.” “So, you enjoyed it?” A pause. “Yes.” Violet sat up in her seat, interest piqued by this. “More than you enjoyed it with a man?” Judy shifted, visibly uncomfortable. “Well, now, it’s two very different things, at the end of the day—“ “Judy.” She sighed. “Yes. Yes, more than with a man. That doesn’t make me...you know...that way inclined.” “Why? I don’t mean to sound crass, kiddo, but you seemed into it. If that all meant nothing to you, then you’d have stopped after I kissed you first,” she said, lowering her voice. Judy rubbed her collarbone. “Women like me don’t...like other women, Violet. I was married to a man.” “And so was I. Are you telling me that if I kissed you now, you could say you didn’t feel a single thing?” Judy folded her arms, straightening up as Violet stood. Compared to the taller of the two, she held little authority. Violet perched on the corner of her desk. She looked at the shorter of the pair, and seemed to log her expression. She stood again, pressing her lips against Judy’s. Judy stepped back. “Now, listen here; I told you that I—that I’m not—“ “A lesbian?” “Yes.” “I’m not buying it.” “What?” “It doesn’t add up. All of this. You kissed me last night.” “Keep your voice down.” “You didn’t feel anything just there?” “That doesn’t matter.” “Again, you kissed me last night.” “You wanted to talk.” “You told me to!” “I was trying to smooth things over. I didn’t know how it would end.” “In your bed, apparently!” Judy hissed, but looked exasperated. — Violet tapped her fingers on the desk, tilting back her head. Judy dragged her eyes away from the defined lines of her neck and attempted to harden her gaze. She was trying to ignore the fact that she was attracted to Violet. The fact that she wasn’t attracted to men. Looking back on her struggles, she realised that she was distracted by Violet. She’d done it for herself this time. She straightened up again. “I—I think you’re pretty, and that confuses me!” Judy stammered. “Well, gee. Thanks, to begin with, but you’re starting to sound delusional. Are you really thinking about this? Really? I won’t lie to you, I was getting suspicious.” “Suspicious about what?” “You.” “What about me?” “You being a le—“ “Keep your voice down. I am not only asking, Violet, but I am begging you.” At least she hadn’t denied it this time. Should she be denying it? Well, that was a question. She thought back. She’d touched both Violet and Doralee’s—well, you know. Did that have anything to do with it? — “What’s on your mind, kid?” “A lot. More than I can handle right now. Oh, I need sleep.” “You know, it isn’t wrong for you to like women. I don’t know what’s goin’ on in that cute little head of yours, but it sounds like a lot of trouble.” Judy went to protest, but she crossed her arms. She brought her hand to her mouth, chewing her nail. Of course, she couldn’t say that it was wrong, because first of all, that would offend Violet, and secondly, she didn’t even believe that herself.“Judy?”She looked up to meet her eyes, and looked away. Perhaps if Violet wasn’t so attractive, then she’d be able to hold the eye contact.Judy sniffled, and she rubbed her collarbone gingerly. “I don’t know, Violet…” she trailed off. “Say I did like you,” Judy paused, “you’d think that’s okay?”“Now, I didn’t say anything about me—“Judy looked like she’d just been winded.“ But I think that’s okay. I was more going for women in general, but if you like me in that way, then I say good on ya.”Was that really the best response she could give? Judy was in the right mind to slap the confidence out of her, had she not been so polite, and Violet so pretty.She wiped her eyes furiously. “Well, you can’t just stand there, Violet!” Judy said exasperatedly. “I’m not about to uncover some personal problem for you to stand there and congratulate me like I just got a promotion!”Come to think of it, a promotion wouldn’t be awful…“You’re gettin’ a little dramatic, Judy. You’re gonna burst a couple blood vessels if you don’t calm yourself,” she said.Judy gave her a look, and if looks could kill…Violet glanced at the door, and back at Judy. She faltered before taking her hand, and then her waist. Judy gave a surprised sound as Violet kissed her.It felt familiar, and very foreign all at once. Either way, she was kissing Violet Newstead in her office after sleeping with her the night previous. That felt pretty damn good. A point to Judy. See, this was catholic rebellion.She practically fell into the kiss, and Violet just about had to hold her up. It was about time Judy accepted it. The best she could at that point, anyway.Judy clung to the lapels of Violet’s jacket, scared of the catholic guilt catching up. Well, screw that. She pulled away from the kiss, with Violet’s dark lipstick smeared around her mouth.Violet tapped just below her lip.“Oh—“ Judy said, pulling out a tissue to wipe away the lipstick.Whatever Joe had said about ‘letting love grow’ seemed to apply here. She’d have to give Judy time. If she wanted it.“Hey, kiddo, I don’t know where you wanted to go with this…” she said. “I mean, it’s nineteen eighty two. We aren’t gonna have it easy, if we have it. Well, that aside, I could take you for dinner tonight?”Judy looked like a deer in the headlights. Or maybe a skunk (Flower).“You mean—in...romantic context?”“No, just two gal pals grabbing some food. Yes, in a ‘romantic context’, you crazy thing.”Judy let go of her jacket, smoothing out her skirt, but not stepping back from Violet’s embrace. She was hesitant, because she couldn’t go from denial to suddenly...coming out. Being out. Whatever she was. Mind you, she had no interest in men.“I’d like that. I have...concerns, though,” Judy started, trying to steel her expression.“We can talk about the concerns on the car ride there. Just be ready for seven, and make sure to cover up the little rash you got there on your neck.”Violet kissed her again. This time, her hand was firmly on her jawline, and Judy damn near fainted.“People are gonna ask questions, so you should get back out there. Make up for the forty five minutes you missed this morning,” Violet said, sitting back at her desk.“Absolutely. I’ll see you around, Violet,” she said quickly, offering a blushing smile before leaving. Violet supposed she was charming. In a naïve sense. She clicked her tongue before going back to whatever she was doing. More paperwork.Judy was about ready to crack open a bottle of champagne. Maybe cry for various reasons. Despite this, she settled at her desk, and thought of Violet (and what the night ahead had in store), as you might expect. Well, despite the catholic guilt, height difference, and looming prejudice, they just might make it work. —