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AJ knows who his parents were - at least, he knows their names. Clem spoke of them occasionally when he was younger; she had said that it would make them happy, somehow, even though they died. Sometimes he forgets that his own name is a reflection of his father’s name. Alvin Junior . Clem said that he was a good man, and he had died protecting Clem. AJ doesn’t know a lot about good people, but anyone who protects Clem is a good person to him, he thinks. And his middle name. Lee . Clem said that Lee died protecting Clem, too. He knows for sure that Lee was a good man - Clem talks about him a lot. He thinks he knows more about Lee than he knows about his parents. But that’s okay. Now, Clem is his ‘ Lee.’ It makes him happy that Clem named him after good people..but what if he can’t live up to them? Will he be a good person, too? No matter what, though, he knows that if he has to, he’ll die protecting Clem, just like Alvin and Lee, and hopefully that makes him good, too. Clem said that his mom had died just after he had been born. Her name was Rebecca, which is a girls name and is why he wasn’t named after her. Clem had said that she loved him a lot, even in the short time she was alive with him. He’s not sure how she can love someone she just met. Especially a baby that can’t even talk yet. AJ isn’t sure he loves her back - after all, he’s never met her, right? He does know that he loves Clem. He’d do anything for her, even die, he’s sure of it.Sometimes he thinks about how Clem is his mom. That’s right, right? Rebecca wasn’t the one to teach him how to talk, when to talk, how to kill the monsters, how to survive . She isn’t the one that hugs him tight when he’s crying, or gives him kisses on his cheeks when he does all his readings right. Clem has always been there to teach him and make sure he is okay. Clem is definitely his mom. He just doesn’t understand why she cried when he called her that.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It was a mistake he would never repeat if he got out alive, that he knew. He had been stupid. Careless. “
Never
wonder off,” Clem’s voice echoed in his head, words bouncing off each other and overlapping each other, over and over again. It was one of the very first rules he could remember being taught, right along with
don’t make noise unless necessary
. In the moment, he thought he could do it - after all, he is five
whole
years old now. He could cover more ground, find more supplies. Surely he’d find more supplies if he went out and looked, rather than standing idly by while just Clem looked.
It didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered now was the fact that a rope was wrapped tightly around his ankle, suspending him upside down. The more pressing matter was that while he swung back and forth, monsters were beneath him, reaching their rotting hands up to grab him in his moment of vulnerability.
He knows he shouldn’t be screaming - it would only make more monsters come - but his voice didn’t seem to care. He screamed so loud he could feel it in his chest, in his head and somehow even in his nose - and he was positive he had never made this much noise in his entire life. Just barely could he make out the hungry groans of the monsters over his own voice.
Looking down, he could only see big blobs of spinning, decaying bodies moving beneath him as he swung back and forth, tears suddenly and uncontrollably falling from his lashes.
He was so
stupid
. Alls he had to do was stay with Clem. Now, he was going to die because of it. It was all his fault. Clem will be so disappointed with him. But it won’t matter because he’ll be gone. A monster.
His voice had started to waver and break as his throat became too raw. Consequently, the sounds of the monsters beneath him became louder to him, like a swarm of bees headed straight for his ears.
“Oh my god, AJ! AJ!” Clem’s panicked voice drifted to his ears, distant compared to the hum of the monsters. Clem found him? Or was he just imagining it?
“Clem? Clem, help!” AJ mustered the energy to call out, voice breaking at the end. He blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the tears from his eyes so he could find her. She had to be here.
Had to.
“Hey assholes, over here! Come get me!” Clem screamed, flailing her arms around to get the attention of the dead. No, AJ panicked to himself, there are too many of them! Clem is going to get herself killed because of him! AJ kicked his legs trying to break free of the rope, but instead the rope swung him around harder.
“No, don’t!” He called out, watching helplessly as monsters stumbled over each other toward her.
AJ watched in terrified suspense as Clem took them down. She kicked them in the knees before stabbing them in the head, backing further away with each takedown, eventually backing down the hill, out of AJ’s sight.
AJ held his breath, fresh tears pooling into his eyes as he waited for something, anything, to show him Clem made it out.
He could have sworn an hour had passed when he saw her running towards him, but it had really only been several minutes. He could have also sworn that, that was the fastest he’s ever seen Clem run; at least, that he can remember.
Clem stopped several feet in front of him, clearly out of breath, “Oh my god! AJ, are you okay?”
AJ could tell that she was trying to keep her voice steady, because it only shook at the edges of her words, like the time she told him the story of how Lee died.
AJ tested the hold of the rope on his ankle again. “I-i’m okay, I think. Clem, I can’t - my foot - stuck! I’m
stuck
!” He tried to do the same thing Clem did to his voice, but the more he talked, the more panicked he sounded.
What if I got bit and didn’t notice? What if my foot is stuck like this? Do I have to cut it off?! What if-
“AJ. I need you to breathe for me, okay? Can you do that?” Clem said up to him, approaching closer with slightly hunched shoulders.
“In….” Clem raised her hands to her chest, and AJ followed her lead, taking a shaky breath in.
“...and out…” She followed up with, moving her hands down to her stomach. He followed suit and exhaled. The more he breathed, the less shaky he felt.
“Okay...I’m okay,” AJ reaffirmed, less anxious than he was before.
Clem’s eyes worried over him for a few more moments before she spoke again,
“Okay, that’s good. I’m going to get you down, alright? But I need you to help me first, okay?”
Help? He could do that. He helps all the time
. “Anything!” AJ exclaimed, his desperation and eagerness evident in his voice.
“I need you to carefully reach up and grab your knife for me, okay?” Clem said, eyes trained on the weapon strapped against his belt.
AJ remained silent as reached up and felt around for the knife. A minute passed before he finally grabbed a hold on the familiar metal, bringing it up to his face to show Clem.
“Now what?” AJ inquired, the most calm he’d been since he got himself into this mess.
“I need you to throw it towards me, alright?” Clem said calmly. She stood only a few feet away from AJ now.
What? Clem wants me to throw a knife at her? No way!
AJ began to argue,
“But it’ll -”
“You won’t hit me, and I won’t try and catch it. Just
trust me
,” Clem explained calmly and without edge to her voice, but clearly wishing AJ would just comply.
Clem’s right. Clem always knows what was best. He shouldn’t doubt her - that’s what got him into this mess anyways.
AJ tossed the knife as softly as he could, and it landed just beside Clem.
“Good, AJ. Now, do you have your gun?”
AJ felt around his waistband, coming up empty. It must have fallen when he was swinging from the rope.
“Uh, I don’t think so. I think it fell somewhere,” AJ said apologetically. He knows that they really can’t afford to lose a gun..
“That’s okay, AJ, we’ll find it,” Clem reassured him, a small smile forming itself on her face. She doesn’t need AJ to become more upset - and besides - if AJ is safe, she’ll
gladly
lose a million guns.
“I’m going to cut you down now, okay? Cover your face with your arms.”
“Okay, got it,” AJ said enthusiastically, repositioning his arms.
Through the space between his arms, AJ watched Clem pick up his knife and walk over to his right, just out of his sight.
Suddenly, he heard a
snap
, and then his face was getting closer to the ground, his eyes slamming shut on instinct.
“AJ! Are you alright?” Clem ran over to him as soon as he fell from the tree, hovering over him worriedly.
AJ groaned from the impact of the fall as he sat up - it wasn’t that far of a fall, but enough to leave bruises for sure.
He blinked rapidly as the sight of Clementine danced across his vision for a few moments, before finally settling.
“I’m okay,” AJ croaked, peering up at Clementine’s bent over form from the ground.
Clem closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath as she let her body fall completely to the ground, resting her forehead on AJ’s, enveloping him in a tight hug.
AJ exhaled in surprise before hugging Clem back, almost tighter than the grip she had on him, he thought.
After a couple minutes, Clem pulled AJ back by the shoulders, looking him in the eyes.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Alvin Junior,” She said, doing that thing again where she tried to keep her voice steady but it wavered with worry anyways.
Tears welled up in AJ’s eyes against his permission, eyes lowered with guilt, seeing Clem like this.
“I’m sorry...I won’t leave you again, I promise,” he said thickly.
Clem gently took AJ’s chin by her hand, guiding his eyes back up at her.
“I’m not mad, AJ. I love you,” she said, softly.
“I love you too, Mom,” AJ said warmly, smiling softly up at her.
Clem exhaled in shock, searching AJ’s face as tears welled up in her eyes, before suddenly hugging him tighter than ever before, sobs wracking her body. AJ tried to hug her even tighter.