Work Text
What is this place?
Peter picked himself up off the filthy alleyway he’d been flung into by… whatever that stuff was. One moment he’d got his fist in some goon’s face, and the next there’s a black mass growing out of the floor. It was bubbling and growing, as if it was alive. And when it started glowing… He’d never seen anything like it. It was indescribable.And then the dammed thing was pulling at his coat and he could feel himself falling.
Good, didn’t take long for us to get all caught up.
But down the exit of the alleyway, he could see those same things. Those… light? They didn’t seem like separate objects. More like bolder stains on an already stained world.Something zoomed past in front of him, and he almost jumped.He stepped out of the alleyway and into the brightness and just… What the fuck?It was definitely a road. And those could be cars. But they’re so compact and smooth and… bright. Why was everything so bright? Large glowing signs reached into the sky. Towering above like gods laughing down on us all. All of us, insignificant specs of dust on a discarded mattress.It was all too much. He could feel his eyes wanting to burn.
We need a better vantage point.
It didn’t take too long to find the tallest building in the area.He stood. Gazing down at this strange world. This atmosphere, this aesthetic, none of it was normal. Black. White. Grey. That’s what the world was made up of. That’s what his world was made up of. But here… All this, this visual noise. These shades and lights. His eyes were telling his brain what he was seeing, but his brain refused to believe them.He perched down on the edge of the rood. A gust of wind glided over him.
At least you’re still here, old friend.
Though he must admit, despite all this glamour, there was something familiar about this place. Some of the buildings looked the same as ones back home, if he could truly call any place home anymore.For someone known for being so calm and collected, he was having trouble just keeping his eyes open at the moment. Just looking at things was overwhelming and-And there was someone coming up behind him.His gun was in his hand and he was turning around before his brain was even registering what was happening.“Wait!”That voice…That was a child’s voice.
A trick maybe?
He turned, his hand underneath his coat firmly gripped around his weapon.
Could this place get any stranger?
There was a… machine? A giant rubber ball with arms and legs? There was a thing with a glowing cartoon expression. And it had a child’s voice?The thing opened up and his arm was lunging forward, but stopped as a little girl climbed out and landed gracefully on the floor.
Yes it could…
Her eyes met his and he felt it.She was something familiar, she was…“You’re like me, aren’t you?” She asked.Her eyes were wide and… Were those little hand-drawn stars in her eyes? And when did her eyes get so big?“I didn’t think there was anyone else who…” He trailed off.
How is any of this possible?
“Me neither! It’s so amazing to meet you!” The girl jumped into the air and twirled around her… metal suit?Her hand moved out from the peace sign it was proudly proclaiming, and thrust itself towards him.Such boundless energy. Such cheerfulness. He’d never seen anything like it before.Her hand was still there.Hesitantly, Peter knelt down and shook her hand. His hand dwarfed hers. She smiled at the physical contact and he wondered when was the last time someone found his touch pleasant.She ran over to her suit, almost pulling Peter along with her. A small compartment opened up and she lifted something out of it.“I’m Peni! Peni Parker. I’m from the year 3145. My father built this suit for himself and this little guy,” She tickled the spider in her palm. “It was for them to fight crime in. After he died, I was the only person left who could link their DNA with the SP//dr suit, and with my spider. So we took over! Just two best friends saving the world together!!!”
How the hell did she manage to pronounce that punctuation out loud?
Her father died too? Are all of us crime fighters borne from tragedy and loss?He looked down and she was staring at him. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He’d never spent time with kids! Children have no place in his dark existence. No one does. If people want to stay alive and healthy and uninjured, then they need to stay away from him. Especially if that person has stars in their eyes and is looking at him as if he’s good and worth something-“Ahem.” The girl, Peni, cleared her throat and pointed at him. “Your turn.”“Look kid, you don’t want to know me.”“Look mister, we’re in this together. We’ve both gotten flung in to this world, and if we’re any more alike than just our powers, then we’ve both got things in our past to deal with. But I say, let’s work together, and hey maybe we’ll even get to deal with some of that stuff along the way.”This was not a good idea. He worked alone. He didn’t let himself care about people, and he didn’t let people care about him. Not anymore. Not after everything. Things were just better that way. People were safer that way.But... But Peni stood there, hands on her hips. Her cheeks were puffed out and she looked so determined.
Remind you of anyone?
…There’s no chance he can say no to her, is there?He sighed. She smirked.“My name’s Peter Parker. For me, the year’s 1933. I work as a private eye. I was bitten by a spider when I was…”
This stuff isn’t exactly kid-friendly.
“… when I was… out.” Smooth, Peter. “And since then, I’ve gone by ‘Spiderman’.”“Peter Parker…?”“Yeah. Guess it’s pretty similar to your name.”“Yes, of course! It’s just, that’s the same name as this universe’s Spiderman.”“This universe’s… What?”“Oh! Well, I scanned this world after I got sucked through some kind of dimensional portal. We’ve both travelled to a different dimension, a different universe. Similar in some ways to our own, but not the same. It seems that this dimension’s Spiderman was Peter Parker.”Peni flicked her wrist and an image of a very familiar face appeared.“Wait, you said ‘was’. What happened to him?”Peni looked down, her shoulders slumped.“…He died. It seems like it was right after the portal that brought us here opened... But, in good news, since it brought us two through, there’s a good chance there’s more of us out there! If this dimension’s Peter managed to find out anything about the portal, we need that information.”“Yeah, one problem with that kid. You just said that he’d been bumped off.”Peni shoved his side playfully. Peter almost jerked back at the contact. How could she seem so lively in this situation?“But, maybe he stored information somewhere. Think, he’s us right? Just another version of us. Where would we go for help? Where would we turn to if we had nowhere else to go?”A place he always felt safe, a little ray of hope peaking through the storm clouds…“Aunt May!” They both said in unison, and Peni giggled.“Amazing!” She squeaked. “I’ll do a search and see if I can find an address for May Parker.”Peter watched as she climbed back into the seat of her suit. Her hands glided effortlessly over glowing buttons and dials. There were planes of light that seemed to somehow be hovering in the air.“You have questions about the suit?” Peni didn’t take her eyes of the screen as she spoke around the candy she’d shoved into her mouth.“Not exactly. Can I pick your ear about something else?”“Sure, shoot!” Peni grinned up at him.“What am I seeing?”“I don’t know, what are you seeing?” Her tone was teasing.“…That’s not helpful.”“Oh, you’re being serious!” She tilted her head to one side. “What exactly do you mean?”How could he possibly explain these things in words? It was like trying to explain how something tasted to someone with no taste buds.He pulled off one of his gloves and held his hand next to hers.She stared at him, and he suddenly felt monstrous. Everyone else here had looked like her. Sure she had a larger head and facial features, and hair that seemed to defy gravity, but she had those tints on her. And here he stood, taller than any other person he’d seen, dull in comparison, and with speckles running over his body that he’d never even noticed before.“Woah!” Peni’s voice drew him out of his thoughts.“Is ‘woah’ a good noise?”“Oh, yeah definitely. This is so cool! You’re completely black and white all over, huh? I guess that would fit with the whole 1930s detective, film noir vibe.”“Vibe?”“I kinda wish you’d asked about the suit now,” She laughed. “Colours aren’t exactly the easiest thing to explain…”Peter bowed his head and started to retract his hand, when Peni put her hand on his and squeezed.She was smiling at him. She was holding his hand and smiling at him and Peter did not know how to cope with any of this. He didn't know how to cope with the fact that he was... feeling something. He was feeling something for the first time in... Is it sad that he didn't even know how long?Her hand moved off his, and then both of her hands grabbed the sides of his face.“Peter, I have no idea how to explain colours to you, but I promise you I will try my best.”This girl was… intense. And incredibly kind. He was not used to kindness. Despite a life of murder and violence and lies, he believed her.And so he nodded.“Alright! I’ll explain as much as I can on the way.”“The way to where?”“I have the address, and it’s not that far!”“You found the joint that quickly?”“Oh boy, I’ve got to explain the internet too… Well, I suppose it’s going to give us some good bonding time!”Bonding…?He realised Peni was no longer in front of him. He turned and suit was scurrying to the edge of the roof.“Come on Noir! Is it okay if I call you Noir? It’s just we’re most likely going to bump into some other ‘Peters’ and it would get kinda confusing if I just called out 'Peter' and like five of you answered.”Geez, did this kid ever run out of air? But…
Noir.
Peter smiled.“I don’t mind at all, kid. Sorta suits me, don’t you think?”“Awesome!” The suit spun in the air, and a large beaming face appeared on it.Peni laughed again and Peter felt… happy.“Let’s go then, Noir!”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So ‘Noir’ is a type of movie?”The pair launched themselves from rooftop to rooftop. Peter normally wasn’t one to keep up a conversation. Conversations were… not one of his strengths. If someone asked him a question, sure he could answer. And if he needed an answer, he wasn’t afraid of asking questions. But keeping up a conversation? Small talk? Yeah, bumping gums was not something he was good at. Or even enjoyed doing.But Peni made it seem so easy.“Yeah! You have movies in the thirties, right?”“Yeah kid, we’ve had movies for a while,” Noir chuckled. “They’re still hitting on all eight then?”“I’m assuming ‘hitting on all eight’ means something… good?” An illuminated question mark appears on the window of Peni’s suit.“Means ‘going well’, you know, or just plain ‘good.”“Am I going to need a dictionary when talking to you?”Had things really changed that much? He’d thought maybe it was just Peni, seeing as there’s thousands of years between their worlds, but she insisted that even just shy of one-hundred years later, no one talks in the way he does.“Hey, I was just teasing you Noir.”Peni peered down at him from the suit. He hadn’t realised he’d stopped moving.“You were telling me about movies?”“Oh yeah!” Their pace picked up again. “So, noir movies. Black and white detective stories. A private eye gets a mysterious client, usually a beautiful lady, and he has to figure out if he can trust her and if he’s falling in love with her, all while fighting of loads of bad-guy mobsters.”As Peni explained, she attempted to lower her voice. Noir assumed she was going for a sort of whispered intimidation, but her voice was still just too high, it was… sorta cute.“Is that similar to your life?”“I suppose it is…”
Well, minus all the beautiful dames…
“Also, see, I’m trying to think about how to explain the whole colour deal… I’m trying to think, what would be the best colour to start off with… Maybe... SP//dr’s body! It’s red and blue! This part here is red, and this is blue.” Peni and the suit flailed their arms in tandem.“So… Red is a brighter colour?”“Oh, only because of this shade of paint. You have black and white right, but you also have grey. Just like how there’s different shades of grey, there are different shades and tones of every colour. Oh, and that’s not even counting when you mix colours together!”“You can mix them?”“Yeah! Like if you mix red and blue, you get purple.”A square of colour appeared on SP//dr’s head.“This doesn’t look anything like the other two colours.”“Well, no I guess it doesn’t. But when you mix red and blue paint together, it makes this colour.”“Alright… So, this is blue?” Peter received a nod from Peni. “And so, this is also blue?”Peter pointed at one of the glowing signs that was advertising some sort of… water? Who needed to advertise water? Did people not drink water anymore?“Yeah! It’s just lighter and slightly more green tinted.”“Green?”“You know, I’ll just bring up all the basic colours, okay?”She stopped moving and squatted down.Red. Blue. Yellow. Orange. Green. Purple. Brown. Pink. And…“Hold up, isn’t this, uh… turquoise, just blue? A lighter blue?”“Turquoise is kinda half-way between blue and green… On second thoughts, let’s get rid of turquoise for now, people who are used to colour can’t even tell it apart from blue and green.”Eight colours. He could do this. He spent his life chasing after bindle stiffs and button men. He could remember eight colours.Peni continued to explain as they travelled, and he did his best to keep up with her non-stop dialogue. Apparently, colours could be warm and cold, even though they weren’t tangible. And they could be emotions. Red was warm; It was fire and blood, love and anger. Blue was the sky and the sea, cold and sadness. Also colours could have genders for some people? Blue was used for boys and pink was used for girls? None of that made sense. Who cares if a boy wears pink?As he recited back to himself all the information Peni was spilling, his eye was caught by the street below.It was more colourful than the others they’d just been past. Lights seemed to be flashing in the large windows. A collection of shops, it would seem. But even from across and above the street, there was something that Peter’s eye fixated upon.He was sliding down the side of the building, and he was dimly aware of Peni chasing after him.With it being a dark evening, he hoped he wouldn’t stick out, as long as he kept in the shadows.“Noir!” Peni called out to him, but he kept walking.He was dimly aware of something red and blue scuttling upwards next to him.He jumped and yanked his arm inwards as something wormed its way around his wrist and tried to dislodge his hand from his coat pocket.Peni looked up at him. Her shocked expression transformed into sadness… And god, anything but pity.She reached her hand out again, slowly, as if he were some deadly predator that might pounce on her. Had he made her scared of him?“Hey, Peter, it’s just me. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Her fingers pressed against his sleeve. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I’m not going to hurt you.
She thought he was scared… of her? It was just a natural reflex, it wasn’t… He didn’t get scared, capiche.“So, did you see something you like?”Something he… He came down here for a reason. He needed to stop falling into these pits of angst and remember what he was doing.He turned his head towards the shops.“It’s just so… bright.”“Yeah, I guess all the LED displays and lights can be overwhelming, huh? I’m sure it won’t hurt if we slow down and look around for a bit. We could go up to the billboards, or oh! We could go to a tech store, vintage tech is always super interesting, or a video game store! A cinema! Gosh, movies have changed so much! Did the 1930s have colour movies yet? Was technicolour invented in the thirties? Or was that the forties? I suppose it doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t have had them either way. Oh, of we could…”Peter could hear here, and he had been listening. He felt bad that he was tuning her out, but…In the window of one of the shops… there it was. It was a toy shop, he presumed. There were dolls, soft looking animals, little cars and planes, and this… cube. Or rather, two cubes. There was one, each side of it a different colour. And then another. This one was all mixed up. The different colours side by side, and Peter was racking his brain trying to tell them apart.“A Rubik’s cube! They’re kinda adorable, don’t you think? I think they’re considered sort of a vintage toy, even in this year. Now that I think about it, that would be a really cool way to help you learn colours, don’t you think?”“Yeah, sure… Hey!” Peter batted Peni’s hand away as she tried to pinch him, snapping him awake.“You weren’t listening to me.” Peni pouted, and Peter instantly felt bad.
Damn this kid.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s not like I’ve got any dough on me. Even if I did, I doubt it’d be accepted.”Peni’s shoulders slumped.“Crap, that’s a good point.”“Hey, language kiddo.”Peni stuck her tongue out at him.“Don’t sweat it kid, let’s go find Aunt May, yeah?”“Yeah, okay. I told SP//dr to wait for us up on the rooftops.”“Then let’s scram.”-----------------------------------------Even though so much had changed, Peter still found the street familiar. He stared at the door in a trance-like state, only dislodged when Peni brushed against him as she climbed out of her suit.They looked at each other.“I should probably be the one too-” Peter started.“Do you want me to-”They spoke over one another and Peni laughed.“I’ll go up, it’s okay.”Peter started to walk forwards, when he felt a tug at the bottom of his coat.“You want to come up with me?”Peni nodded and shuffled forward.He hadn’t seen her this quiet before. He looked down and she was seemingly fascinated by her shoelaces.He had the sudden urge to ruffle her hair, or pat her shoulder, or hold her and tell her not to worry. But that wasn’t him… was it?Peter placed three sharp knocks against the door.He heard the both of them try to stifle a gasp as the door opened.“Look, you kids are sweet to show up, but I really can’t have any more visitors today, I’m sorry.” Aunt May spoke.No, no, this wasn’t his Aunt May. Just… Let’s just call her May, okay. He can’t be thinking of the remainders of his family right now.Peni wasn’t saying anything. So, Peter had the task of convincing May that they weren’t some creepy fans, and they were in fact from another dimension.He took off his hat and held it to his chest. Time to try some charm.“Ma’am I know this is going to be hard to believe, but the two of us are… Well, we’re not visitors, we’re, uhh…”This was not going well. Peni was the one with all the scientific words and explanations. Right now, she looked frozen in place.Well, May couldn’t deny it if there was proof right?“Ms. Parker, if you would kindly direct your attention towards the giant metal suit behind us, maybe you could believe that we fell into your world from another world. Or rather, two different worlds. So, if we could just ask if your version of us, of Peter Parker, left any information that might help us, then we can just amble on and dangle out of here.”Peter looked down at Peni, who gave him a lopsided smile and a thumbs-up.May sighed.“I should have known there’d be more of you coming.”“More of us?” Peni chirped up, eyes wide and seemingly back to herself.“Come on in.” May started to turn, but stopped. “On second thought, why don’t we lead your robot straight around the back, hon.”“Okay!” Peni beamed and waved SP//dr over.The garden was bare, expect for a small wooden shed tucked away in the corner.“Ma’am, you mentioned something about more of us?”“Well, it’s only one more at the moment. But now I’m starting to suspect even more of you might show up.”May fished a key out of her cardigan pocket and suddenly there was a bright light shining on them.“My Peter thought that something like this might happen.” May ushered them inside.The three of them teetered on the small platform on the shed as SP//dr squeezed in with them.The platform descended into an impressive hideout. Cases of similar suits lined a wall, while around them even more platforms housed various workspaces, vehicles and weapons.The floor was shiny enough that their reflections stared back at them.“Red, right?” Peter leaned over to Peni.“Right!” She squeaked and held out her hand.Peter stared at her.She, gently, grabbed his wrist and hit his palm against hers.“Well, well, well, thanks goodness it isn’t just little ol' me trapped here.” An almost songlike voice rang out from above.A shadow descended from the webs, and Peter put his arm in front of Peni.As the shadow got closer, it got smaller, and smaller, and smaller. Until it was shorter than even Peni.Wet footsteps echoed against the floor and they came face to face with… another child… dressed as a pig… dressed as Spider-Man?Or could this place get weirder still…“My name is Peter Porker. I was once a harmless, young, wide-eyed spiderling looking for an adventure. And then one day, I was bitten by a radioactive pig! Thus Spider-Ham was born.”
Oh god. Was the universe testing his sanity?
Though, could he really say this ‘Spider-Ham’ was any stranger of an addition to this world then he himself was.“Awwwww!” Peni slid forward onto her knees and was tickling Ham’s ears.“Hey, hey, watch it girly.” Ham squirmed.“Sorry! I couldn’t help myself. You’re adorable. I’m Peni! Peni Parker, and this is Peter Parker, no relation. We’re not even from the same world anyway so… Anyway! Hello! Noir, say hello!”“Hey.”Peni seemed disappointed by his slight nod.Ham waddled over to him and stuck out his hand. Peter couldn’t help glancing around, before kneeling down and shaking his hand.“It’s a pleasure to meet you pal.” Ham’s eyes moved into upwards crescents, along with his nostrils.He reminded Peter of a cartoon he’d seen a few times…He noticed Peni run up to May, but before he could start listening, Ham was directing his attention again.“Noir, huh? Strange name.”“Stranger than being called ‘Peter Porker’ when you were born a spider, not a pig?”Ham didn’t say anything. Peter cursed his snarky mouth. If Peni was making an effort to be friendly, then he should too-There was a snort. Then another. Then Ham was laughing.“Oh, I can tell you and me are gonna get along just swell, buddy.”Peter couldn’t help a little smile creep along his face.He heard the platform raising and turned around.“You two have fun! Get some good bonding time without me! I’ll be right back Noir I promise!” Peni called out as her and SP//dr disappeared from view.“I should leave you boys to get to know each other. Just come into the house if you need anything.” May said.They both thanked her, but Peter could feel the silence becoming awkward as she left.“…I’m just Spider-Man. Peni calls me Noir after some sort of movies…”“Ah, alrighty. That’s cute, she already got a nickname for ya. You don’t mind if I use it do, do you? What with us both being named ‘Peter’.”“Knock yourself out, Ham.”“Ham! Aw, you made a nickname for me in return already.”“That’s not, I wasn’t uh…”“Afraid of catching feeling huh? Well, I might just make it my mission to change that. If you’d let me?”
Why was everyone here being so nice to him?!
“You don’t have to bother with-”“Ah, none of that.” Ham dropped his jovial tone. “Let me try and ease that head of yours, will ya? Cheering people up is what I’m best at. It’s practically my job. And what kind of Spider-Being would I be if I didn’t do my job?”“…You drive a hard bargain, fella.”He could see Ham grin through the mask.-----------------------------------------Peter didn’t know how long they’d been in here. They’d moved from the floor, to climbing up the webs hanging from the high ceiling.Ham was far more enjoyable than he’d thought he would be. For a cartoon, he wasn’t too over-the-top.“Noir! Noir!”Peni was back.Peter jumped down and almost rushed over to the hole in the floor that the platform would soon fill.“You have to close your eyes!”“Why?”“I’m not getting out of the suit, until you close your eyes!”Peter sighed and did as she asked.“Are they closed? I honestly can’t tell through the mask.”“They’re closed, kid. I promise.”“Okey-doke then. Hold out your hands.”He kneeled down and reached out his hands. Something smooth and hard landed in them. He felt the edges and corners… a square…?“You can open your eyes.”Peter looked down to see that cube in his hands. What had Peni called it? A Rubik’s cube…“I asked Aunt May if I could borrow the money. I figured that Ham and I could use it to teach you about colours.”She had gone out and bought this… for him? She had thought about him?“Do you like it, Peter?”He realised she’d sounded almost shy when she’d been speaking. His silence was probably worrying her… And she’s said his name…“Kid… Peni, I… Thank you.”“You like it?” Her eyes were getting bigger again.“I do. And I , I can’t… I don’t know what to say.”“Aw, you big dummy!”And suddenly Peni was leaning into him. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, crushing his hands and the cube uncomfortably into his chest… but he didn’t mind.“Hey, Ham! Get in on this sweet hug action!” Peni called out, voice muffled by Peter’s coat.“Well, I’m known to never refuse a hug.”Peter wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was his soul leaving his body. This physical affection… This affection. When was the last time he’d experienced this? If he could move his arms, he could have worked up the courage to hug them back.“Oh! We’ve got to mix it up! You see Noir, it’s a puzzle. You mix it up, and then you have to solve it by getting all the same colours on the together on each side.”Peter watched as Peni stuck her tongue out in concentration. She spun the different sections of the cube around, holding it out to Ham, who gave her suggestions on what piece to turn next.And Peter felt… warm. He felt like maybe, just maybe, he was finding himself within this strange group, this strange… family?