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“Merrill, get your head out of your ass,” Essie snapped. She was always the first to call out bullshit, always the first to see through everyone and it drove nails under Merrill’s spine. “You may be Murdoch’s favorite but you’re the furthest from anyone else’s around here. How long do you think Drew has to keep giving you the cold shoulder until it finally
sinks
in? How long does Marty have to trail after you like a heartsick puppy, cursed enough to want something he can never have until you take pity on him and either drive him away or convince yourself that you’re in love with him too?”
Essie, spitting words Merrill couldn’t bring herself to say. Seeing painfully shy Merrill who was still as quick to criticize as Essie, maybe even more so, and pouncing on her with a ferocity Merrill had rarely seen from her. Still, denial had always and would always be Merrill’s game. “Essie, you’re
delusional.”
Essie’s eyes flashed
red.
“Get over yourself, Merrill. You wouldn’t know love if it bit you on the ass.”
Merrill quirked an eyebrow. “And you do?”
Essie was on her then, hands grasping Merrill’s shoulders, fingernails digging in without restraint. “You are
such
a hypocrite.”
“Princess,” Merrill bit back. She tore at Essie’s fancy belt, threw it to the ground and went for Essie’s long, puffy, utterly
ridiculous
sleeves next, clawing at them until Essie groaned at her in outrage.
“Antisocial
misfit
.”
“Drama queen.”
Cold hearted
bitch,”
Essie gritted and Merrill froze, heart really feeling like it
was
encased in ice. Was it truly cruel of her to drag Marty around when she was doing no such thing intentionally? When he was only doing it to himself?
This is part of the problem, I suspect. I never
do
want to take any responsibility.
“Have you had enough, Essie? Have you gotten what you wanted out of me?”“No,” Essie admitted and suddenly she was breathing hard, panting, eyes dark red and bordering on pitch. “I don’t care who you love or don’t love, Merrill. I just want to be your favorite.”
Merrill’s heart broke out of its ice shell at that and she pressed her face up against Essie’s warm neck. “Oh but, Essie, you
are.
You’re my best friend in the whole world. You’re the only person here who keeps me
sane
, when so much is dependent on us. You’re the only reason I’m not drowning.” She kissed Essie’s sweat-dampened skin, was alarmed at Essie having worked herself up into such a state.
It wasn’t enough. Essie stole her mouth until it was swollen and red, until Merrill was so worked up herself in hunger and confusion and such a deep sadness that she couldn’t tell up from down and right from wrong anymore, didn’t know if she was rupturing the Experiment and couldn’t tell whether she cared.If she was to lose everything and everyone at the expense of her hope, then maybe she didn’t.
FIN