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Jim was getting worried. Part of him wanted to be guilty about it, but come on. This was so... unusual. The Enterprise had dealt with enough “unusual” in the past, therefore it wasn’t completely irrational to assume there was some greater force at play. Particularly when one knows Leonard McCoy as well as a certain James T. Kirk. After two years as his roommate at the academy, and serving with the man for almost two years in a tin can, Jim hopes he knows McCoy.At first he didn’t notice it. In fact, he didn’t notice it until Nurse Chapel had said “He’s in a good mood today,” in coercion to Jim, who had not been looking forward to his physical. He had just been about to brush the statement off when he realized, McCoy had been in a good mood lately. It was subtle, but now that he was looking back, the last few days, maybe even weeks, McCoy had been less... irritable. He hadn’t ranted in anger about the dangers of space, at least not as passionately as before; and he had been less verbally aggressive towards the crew (only for smaller incidents, Jim made sure to note after remembering the lecture McCoy had yelled at one of the crew from engineering for a particularly bad case of broken ribs).After Chapels not so fruitless statement, Jim made sure to pay close attention to McCoy during his physical. His attempts were rewarded, as he noted that while his friend made all his usual, cynical remarks about Jim taking care of himself, his tone, or dare it be said, ‘aura’ held less of its usual anger and resentment toward Jim about how his sub-par health management made made the doctors life just that more difficult, Jim felt as though McCoy’s remarks were of... frustration; stemming from concern. It wasn’t as if he was unaware McCoy cared for Jim, and was genuinely worried about his health, it was just that Jim knew of those concerns from long, hard experience; but he could never read them from McCoy as he did that day. It was easy math once you’ve known him long enough; the more McCoy hates you, the more he cares about you. Granted, there’s always the possibility he really does hate you, but that’s not the current dilemma Jim was dealing with.It wasn’t a major difference, Jim almost definitely wouldn’t have noticed it if not for Nurse Chapel. In fact he was highly impressed by her observation skills. Of course the two did work close together on a daily basis, so it was reasonable for her to be the first to notice. He’s sure if something were wrong with, say Spock, he would be the first to pick up on it. The only difference was Chapel had no reason to suspect anything of McCoy’s mood, not yet anyway. Jim on the other hand, knew McCoy well enough to be suspicious.He was wise enough, however, to keep his mouth shut while at the mercy of the good doctor. In fact, Jim decided not to say anything about it at all. If it was nothing, no harm done. He would ask about it after McCoy went back to his normal, more grumpy self. If it was something bigger, Jim was bound to find out about it sooner or later. It was best not to poke a sleeping bear.A small part of Jim believed he should feel guilt for not believing in McCoys ability to be... less grumpy without a reason. But that’s just the way things were. There were always constants in the universe, and one of them was McCoy’s eternal bad mood. He was a bitter man at heart, and Jim believed he would always remain that way.His plan of silence went right out the window when just a two weeks later, McCoy went from not-as-grumpy to being undeniably content. Okay, so maybe to an outsider it may seem like little had changed, but there were no outsiders on the Enterprise, and many who worked with or were otherwise close to McCoy were starting to pick up on the change, and after almost three years in space, Jim learned one very important thing: there were no secrets on the Enterprise.McCoy still berated his patients carelessness like there was no tomorrow, but he was no longer able to hold a grudge. He would send a patient on their way, and if he saw them again for any reason, be it a checkup or brand new injury, he’d just roll his eyes and move on. No sarcastic “you're welcome”, no belittling about the circumstances that caused the injury. Just a stern jumble of words that led down to “Don’t be an idiot, this time you’re fine, but next time you might be out of luck.” The change was just enough for people to start noticing.It really wasn’t a big deal to them as it was to Jim, who knew better. Just a passing “Doctor McCoy wasn’t as upset with my broken leg as I thought he’d be,” or “I only got one unnecessary hypospray.” Jim’s not sure of the credibility of that last one, but it does show the the crews acknowledgment of McCoy’s strange behavior, whether or not they had any thoughts about it- which none of them seemed to. Jim on the other hand, was getting more suspicious.“Have you noticed anything different about Bones lately?” He asked. He figured if anyone were to take notice of the change, it would be the most observant person he knew.Spock stilled, his hand hovering over a black chess piece. They were in Jim’s quarters, as they often were after a long day. Jim knew there were rumors about his relationship with Spock, and he could understand them. They had fit together like two puzzle pieces. There was an instant connection, they were legendary among Starfleet; no captain and first officer were ever reported to be as compatible. So it was to be expected that there was suspicion regarding their exact relationship.Jim did love Spock, just not sexually (or romantically but he’s never been the romance type anyway). Spock was his T’hy’la (a word he learned from the elder Spock), and when he told his Spock as much the Vulcan had turned an adorable shade of green and asked Jim if he knew what that word meant, and where he’d heard it. Jim explained about the ambassador, and reassured Spock that he had no intention of exploring the “lover” part of the definition.“We’re both too straight for that,” Jim had said. Spock shifted.“Actually Captain, while I assure you that my... relationship with you is strictly platonic, I, like many Vulcans, am what humans often refer to as ‘pansexual’.”This of course was met with complete acceptance on Jim’s part, with only a few irritating questions (“that doesn’t seem logical?”, “have you ever had a boyfriend?”). Spock knew of course that Jim was very comfortable with sexuality, but he still found himself relieved by his friends acceptance. After all, one could never be sure when it came to humans.“Spock?” Jim called when his friend didn’t immediately respond. Spock looked up and moved his piece, glad he had already decided where it would go before the captain had spoken.“I am quite unsure as to what aspects of the doctor you are referring to, perhaps of you were to elaborate on what specifically it is you believe to be ‘different’?” Spock replied carefully. Jim’s eyes focused on Spock, who tried not to squirm. He was not used to this kind of situation.“I don’t know,” Jim grumbled. “He’s just been, a little off lately. It’s a really small change but it’s been a few weeks now.” He looked up at Spock, as if he had all the answers (he did).“Captain, I am positive that if the doctor was in anyway in need of your concern, he would be upfront about it, as he is with most things,” Spock stated, little to forcefully.“What if this isn’t most things?” Jim challenged. Spock tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, an expression Jim knew as ‘you know I’m right, don’t be illogical’. Jim felt himself deflate. “You’re right, I guess I’m just used to him being... him. You know, angry all the time.” Spock looked down at the game between them, realizing they weren’t going to continue anytime soon.“My mother-“ Jim straightened, Spock’s only mentioned his mother twice since her death, and one of those times was the whole necklace fiasco. “-considered anger to be -what she called- a ‘piggy-back feeling’. Anger is always the result of another emotion: sadness, fear. It is a defense mechanism when a person does not know what to do with their emotions. Anger hides the vulnerability of emotions, making the person struggling feel momentarily protected. Therefore avoiding any further emotional turmoil.” Jim’s eyes flickered for a moment. He folded his hands over the table and looked down at them.“What-... how does that affect Bones now?” Jim asked.“That I cannot answer,” Spock replied solemnly. “However, my mother believed that facing the underlying emotion was the only way to get rid of anger,” he implied. Jim hummed. They sat in silence for a few long moments.“Your mother sounds like she was a very wise woman,” Jim said. Spock nodded minutely. A small, sly smile pulled at the corner of Jim’s mouth. “Spock... why did your mother tell you all that about anger?”“I believe it is your move, Captain.”
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The talk Jim had with Spock was enlightening (in more ways than one). It explained why McCoy’s mood was no longer angry, despite Jim not really knowing what caused the change to happen now. ‘Maybe’, Jim thought to himself, ‘he’s finally accepting the Enterprise as his home’. However, just two more weeks later, after Jim had almost forgotten about the entire thing, he decided that Spock’s theory was no longer valid. It could explain McCoy almost being content, but it could never cause this.McCoy was happy. That was the only way to describe it. Others were finally taking notice, the nurses kept updating him on the strange behavior, as well as most people who happened to pass the doctor in the halls (which was kind of annoying). Jim was surprised how unsettling it was to the crew. They looked worried as they recounted tales of ‘McCoy Not Being As Rude As He Should’ve Been’. As much as it weirded Jim out that McCoys good mood weirded people out (not that it wasn’t weird, but if it was literally anyone else-) he had to admit that juxtaposition was not on his side- things that McCoy had always done one way were suddenly done another.McCoy lectured patients about the damage of bad health. Now he lectured them on the merits of good health.McCoy nodded at people who greeted him in passing. Now he greeted them back.McCoy spent the first hour of his morning snappy and miserable. Now spent it smiling to himself.McCoy grumbled to himself unintelligibly while working around sickbay. Now he whistled.‘Only Bones.’ Jim thought to himself. ‘Only Bones could worry people by being nice.’He considered the ships circumstances around the time McCoy started acting strange, trying to find some explanation, however alien or unlikely. Nothing. He looked back into his logs, he went further back than there should’ve been anything, just to be sure. Still nothing. Nurse Chapel tried to help, looking into medical logs, passing on reports from the other medical staff, but neither of them could get anywhere. Jim tried enlisting Spock’s help, but the stubborn Vulcan seemed almost amused by the situation, if not apprehensive.Jim laid in bed, feeling a bit defeated. He stared fixated at a random point ceiling. He knew he had to sleep soon, or risk being tired during his shift; but he was too busy analyzing. To approach McCoy directly without a solid theory was futile, he would just be dismissed with a scowl. Of course, that’s only what grumpy-McCoy would do. There’s not really any evidence to say happy-McCoy would react the same. The possibility was almost worse than the situation itself.In fact, the only thing that seemingly hadn’t changed because of the doctors mood was his relationship with Spock.The two debated just as much and just as passionately as before. In fact, it may be even more passionate, now that Jim thinks about it. However, McCoy seems more exasperated than defensive of Spock’s views. Spock still got under the doctors skin, as per usual, but it was different now. Things didn’t bother McCoy as much. Almost as if-‘That’s it!’ Jim thought to himself. Everything clicked into place suddenly. It all made sense. He felt stupid for not thinking of it earlier, it was so obvious!The next morning, as usual, Jim headed for the mess hall to eat breakfast with McCoy. He wasn’t sure how he was going to approach the subject yet. If he should explain what he observed the past many weeks or just outright say it.He decided on the latter.“Jim,” McCoy rolled his eyes upon his approach. Some things will never change. “What’ve I told you about eating, huh? Would it really kill you to eat a vegetable every once and a while?” Jim sat down, eyeing his tray.“What’s wrong with eggs and bacon?” He asked, his voice a few octaves higher in protest.“Nothings wrong with them,” McCoy said, leaning forward. “My issue is when it’s all my patients will eat. That’s too many calories, Kid.”“You know what, Bones,” Jim teased. “I’ll have you know I had an apple just last night.”“Oh, so now you’re tryin’ to push me away, huh,” McCoy retorted. He waited for a moment, and paused when Jim didn’t reply. “What is it?”“I...,” Jim tried. He still didn’t know how McCoy would react to him knowing. Clearly he was still the same Bones Jim met all those years ago. Just the other day he made a comment about how one day the transporter was going to malfunction and they were all going to die. He was still Jim’s best friend, even if the title was now shared with their resident Vulcan.“Well? Spit it out man I’m not here all day,” McCoy said. The words were familiar but the tone was less harsh than it used to be. Something Jim was grateful for. It gave him enough confidence to reveal what he knew... or at least what he thought he knew.“Are you on antidepressants?”There was a pause. McCoy gave no reaction at first, as if his brain was calculating every word. Suddenly he had the same look on his face that he had that day at the academy when Jim told him he had joined a chastity club (in an attempt to sleep with the leader, which he did).“What?” McCoy breathed incredulously, his fork clutched tightly in his hand as it hovered with a piece of lettuce. Jim opened and closed his mouth like a suffocating fish, he knew McCoy well enough to know from his reaction his conclusion was flawed. “Why in gods name would you think that?” He asked in the same disbelieving tone.Jim blinked. “Have you really not noticed? Bones, you’ve been so much happier lately!” Jim’s mouth hung open and his hands gestured wildly in that way they sometimes did when he was at a loss. McCoys face set, his posture drew back and his jaw was clenched. He stared at him with particularly unfocused eyes.“Bones?” Jim coaxed. He leaned forward and folded his hands over the table. “What is it?”“Nothing,” McCoy said, snapping out of his state. He looked down at his half eaten tray and shook his head once. “I just-“ he huffed a laugh, an almost blissful smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. He looked up at Jim, who sat patiently with his eyes pondering the man before him. McCoys shoulders visibly relaxed, and he smiled again, almost bashfully. “I’ve been seeing someone.”Jim stared. There was a long pause where McCoy waited for his reply. In the entirety of their friendship, the man had never shown any interest in relationships. He flirted on occasion, he clearly found certain people attractive, and he did on one or two occasions hook up with someone when they stopped somewhere when they had time; but a relationship? Not since his wife took the planet in the divorce.“I thought your Jocelyn gave you commitment issues?” He asked, still amazed.“She did,” McCoy growled at the mention of his ex. “I’m completely terrified.” McCoy suddenly looked like he wanted a drink.“Well?” Jim asked excitedly. “Who is it?”McCoy scoffed. “Like I’d actually tell you.” Jim frowned at him. “Don’t pout. I’ve got enough to deal with, I don’t need you losing your mind and sticking your nose where it don’t belong. It’s bad enough this guys got an iron grip on my balls, I don’t need you hanging if my arm like an octopus with separation anxiety.”“Guy? It’s a man?” Jim inquired, delighted at any information.“Is that all you heard?” McCoy scowled.“I thought you preferred women?” Jim smiled.“Preferred being the key word there,” McCoy replied. “And thats more of a ‘women are generally more tolerable’ kinda thing.” He explained. “Not that-“ he cut himself off, freezing for a moment before taking a bite of salad from his fork.“What?” Jim pushed. “Come on, Bones. I’m going to find out sooner or later.”“Much, much later,” McCoy mumbled to the lid of his coffee. Jim’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “I have to get to sickbay.” McCoy moved to stand, but Jim grabbed the edge of his tray lightly.“Hey,” he said gently. McCoy paused as they looked into each others eyes, all teasing gone from Jim’s expression. “I’m happy for you.” McCoy softened, his lips stretched contently.“Thanks, Jim.”