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Hol Horse strolled through the school doors, glancing between the rows of students. They carried on with their lives, beautiful damsels wrapped around the arms of pathetic men, and Hol Horse tipped his hat at every one who passed. He sure did love the ladies. Especially one, he noted, as the lady in question marched through the hall with her hips swaying to a group of other lovely girls. When she passed, the smell of hairspray and lilacs lingering where she went, he went so far as to take off his hat.Josuke Higashikata: the love of Hol Horse’s life. Of course, they had never even spoken more than a hello or two. It mattered not, for he loved her kind personality and voluptuous body above all else. His eyes lingered on her for a moment more before he continued his travels down the hallway. Sure, he took a cotton to Josuke, but he still tipped his hat with a grin at every other lady. At the end of the hallway, a fine little lady stopped him with a tap to the shoulder.“Why hello there, missy. I reckon I ain’t ever met you before. My name is Hol Horse,” he greeted, examining her long, black hair and piercing eyes. She was a beaut’ all in all, but there was something about that look that warned him she might be a bit of a wild horse. Nonetheless, Hol Horse brought down his hat with the greeting and waited for her to speak.She dragged him toward a group before talking, each person there having their eyes trained on him like a hawk and its prey. “Hol Horse, my favorite cowboy, I’ve got a favor to ask you. If you don’t mind, that is,” the lady admitted, batting her eyes and shifting around like a real purdy little thing. Hol Horse, gentleman that he was, didn’t hesitate in affirming his willingness to help.“Perfect! So, how do I put this… We need a few favors from you- all of us- and it may not be easy. But, there’ll be amazing compensation. Up for it?”“I’d like a little insight there, sweetheart. But, I’d be willin’ to do quite a bit to help someone as lovely as yourself. What’re y’all’s names, anyhow?”The girl smiled at him with a bit of a devilish grin before turning to her companions. She started to introduce them, starting with herself. “My name is Yukako. We actually have geometry together, but I wouldn’t expect you to notice me. I sit in the back, after all.” Hol Horse nodded, thinking back to if he had ever seen her in there before. Probably, but right in front of him in that class was Josuke. Hard to focus on much else.“This is Annasui,” Yukako said as she gestured to a man with a small hat and long, pink hair. “I wouldn’t talk to him much, if I were you. He can be a little weird.” The man in question seemed to take offense to this, raising up his arms and glaring at her. Hol Horse noticed Annasui’s overuse of fishnets in this moment, looking away with a heterosexual glance at one of the damsels in the group.She was real cute, a bear hoodie wrapped around one lovely body and striped stockings leading up to- Hol Horse, ever the gentleman, looked away and back to Yukako as she continued the introductions. Bear hoodie-girl had a nice little face, too, Hol Horse noticed as she was introduced next. “Daiya Higashikata. She can’t see very well, so try not to sneak up on her or anything. Also, be nice to her unless you want to face the wrath of several people.” Hol horse nodded his understanding before leaning down and taking her hand. He kissed it with a flourish and barely caught the eye roll Yukako gave him. Daiya giggled a bit at the gesture before snatching away her hand.“Next up, this is Mariah. Say hello,” Yukako commanded as she stood next to a fine missy. Now this was a woman Hol Horse could respect. She had nice legs- real, real nice- and a well-sculpted body that’d make anyone with it feel like a purdy thing. And by how was she working it. He took off his hat in greeting and threw a wink at her, earning a laugh. It was planned to be a charming giggle as she was swept off her feet, but for whatever reason sounded derisive and mocking. Must be something in his ears, Hol Horse figured.Yukako looked around after introducing Mariah, her eyebrows furrowing for a brief second. “Somethin’ the matter?” Hol Horse asked, glancing down the hall. Nothing seemed amiss… She turned to him and put on a big smile before responding, clearly trying to comfort him. What a sweetheart, he thought.“No, nothing’s wrong. I just can’t find the others. They were here a minute ago… Did any of you see where they went?” A man Hol Horse didn’t notice at first spoke up, setting down some crusty old book on dinosaurs. “They’re in the bathroom. And you still haven’t introduced me.” His words were laced with malice, but Hol Horse was more distracted by the bow on his hat. Hol Horse would never wear a bow- especially that color- because it simply wasn’t straight enough. And if there’s one synonym for Hol Horse, it’s straight. Whoever this dinosaur kid was, he clearly wasn’t very Hol Horse.“Bathroom? I thought they went earlier. Anyway, meet Diego, Hol Horse. He sucks.” Diego sputtered at the insult, ready to defend himself when two people walked over. Guess those were the bathroom buddies. Hol Horse was confused for a moment, his sexuality suddenly at stake. One was kinda hot, but… he couldn’t tell if they were a girl or a boy. The other one, despite the waves of elegant, wine red hair, was clearly male. But this one, with a Britney-Spears blond hairstyle and bright pink clothes, was starting to confuse his poor mind.Yukako went to introduce them, and Hol Horse breathed a sigh of relief at his dilemma being soon to be solved. “The one on the left is Santana, and the right is Melone,” she commented, pointing out the two. Was that it? Okay, Santana was wine hair and definitely male and therefore not attractive, but Melone? What kind of ambiguous name was Melone!? Hol Horse’s confusion returned in a furious storm, and he was forced to sit down for a minute.“We’re getting him in on it? Oh, bellissimo!” Melone cried out as… they?... looked to Hol Horse’s crumpled frame. A high-pitched but still not feminine voice told him nothing of the speaker’s gender. He could ask, but what if people judged him? What if they thought he was asking because Melone was hot, and Melone turned out to be a dude!? Hol Horse could not accept such slander on his name.He decided to just wait it out until the answer revealed itself, instead asking, “In on what, exactly? I don’t believe I’ve gotten my details yet, so what in tarnation is going on here?”All of them looked over to him, even Daiya, and just as Yukako was preparing to answer, a bell interrupted her. Right, shoot, shoot, time for class. Hol Horse sped off after wishing the ladies- and, with some hesitation, Melone- a good day, making it to his class in record time. He sat down in his seat right behind the goddess Josuke herself and settled on getting answers during lunch. Now to wait…Waiting through Mr. Kars’s class was easier said than done. It was so boring, him droning on and on about rocks and animals and stuff that no cowboy east of the west coast could care about. Hol Horse was excruciatingly bored. He wanted to die, but couldn't. Eventually, Hol Horse stopped thinking, and he never returned to Earth.Until the bell rang, that is. Then, his head snapped up and his hat rocked back until it regained its balance, Hol Horse not waiting for it to catch up as he slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way out the door. Now to just sit through English and he’d be home-free to learn all about that little ol’ plan.Hol Horse skedaddled from the classroom, out into the sea of students taking up the hall. He prepared to head off to English when someone's hand wrapped around his arm. The Horse turned to see who had grabbed him, finding none other than the goddess herself. “J-Josuke, what can I do for you, young missy?” Hol Horse asked, tipping his hat with a flourish.She laughed at the gesture and Hol Horse felt his heart flutter at the sight. “I was planning on asking if you could help me during lunch. I have to set up the gym for tomorrow's rally, but it's a lot to do by myself. You'll help me, right?”Hol Horse said yes without a second thought. Then he thought again, and he realized he made a mistake. Curse Josuke's uncontrollable charm! Now he wouldn't be able to hear the plan… He looked up to tell Josuke it would have to wait, but she had already left, leaving nothing behind but the warm memory of her presence and the lingerings of her perfume. Hol Horse sighed both in contentment at the thought of her and frustration at missing his chance to potentially make money.Well, maybe he could just mosey on into the cafeteria, get the deats, then scram off to Josuke… Yeah, he’d do that. As Hol Horse made up his mind, the sound of the bell ringing pierced through the now empty hallway, and he let his legs move like a startled horse to class.He slid into the room, careful not to make a ruckus. Mr. Brando was an unforgiving man, after all. Once he got through the door, though, he realized it was too late. All eyes were on him. “You're late again, Mr. Horse,” the teacher said, voice deep and menacing. Hol Horse took off his hat, wiping at his brow. Mr. Brando always made him sweaty for some reason. “Sorry, sir. Got a little distracted, ya know?”“Just take your seat, Mr. Horse.”“Will do.” Hol Horse sat in his seat, situated directly between Jonathan Joestar and Jotaro Kujo. They were both pretty intense, but they were also related to Josuke, so Hol Horse made sure to keep tabs on them. Then again, so did almost everyone else at the school. That's what happens when you've got a family of total babes all attending one school, after all.Rather than actually focusing on the classwork like some sort of nerd, Hol Horse focused on the two girls beside him. Sadly, Josuke wasn't in this class, instead taking English with someone named Mr. Cash EBay or something along those lines. But, hot chicks are hot chicks, Josuke or not.Jonathan spent the class diligently taking notes, glancing up every now and then and, every time without fail, making eye contact with Mr. Brando. He called on her frequently, too. She always was a good student, but Hol Horse understood why there were rumors about her and this teacher. They just seemed so close. after all. But, Hol Horse wasn't one to slander the ladies, so he had never bothered to look into or spread those rumors. Hol Horse finished looking at Jonathan once she had glanced over one too many times. Wouldn't want that missy thinkin’ he was some kind of creep, after all. Instead, he turned his attention to Jotaro Kujo, the stone-faced and scary one of the family. Though Hol Horse had seen some of the others look right intimidating, none of them could pull it off quite as well as Jotaro.Not much was known about this one, probably being one of the biggest mysteries at this school behind the second Josuke and how Giorno can get away with having a boob window but Hol Horse can't wear his assless chaps to school. Her interests and hobbies? Punching people and looking scary, probably. Her academic attitude? Aggressive, most likely. Her future plans? Most said juvie to jail. But, again, Hol Horse didn't enjoy slandering hot ladies, so he tried to ignore all the negativity surrounding Jotaro. It was hard when there was so little positive to focus on, though.Hol Horse was pulled from his thoughts again as Mr. Brando started to hand back last week's test. He went around the room, pausing as he got to Hol Horse. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself and just put down the test. A bright red 16 looked back at him. Hey, that's 3 points up from last test! Yeehaw!He looked over to see if anyone had topped his score, finding Jonathan with an 87 and Jotaro with an… The test was flipped over before he could see the grade, but Hol Horse didn't see a single red mark on the paper. In fact, the score looked to be written in blue. Maybe Mr. Brando ran out of red ink for that one. “Now, remember class, our next test is Wednesday of next week. It will be on Dracula and modern interpretations of the vampire. And, in case you forgot or are confused, if all you have is a blue check on your paper, it signifies a 100. Easier that way. Okay, you're all dismissed.” Oh. Ohhhh. Wait, that's what it meant? Then, that means… “Why, I didn't realize I was in the presence of one so intelligent,” Hol Horse smoothly said, scooting up to Jotaro. She looked over with anger etched into her features, fists already clenched.She grabbed her hat and pulled it down just as Hol Horse tipped his hat, and he blushed at the returned gesture. “Yare yare daze… what do you want?” Jotaro asked as she packed up her things.“Just the presence of a beauty like yourself, missy,” Hol Horse said, barely dodging the punch that came for him. “I apologize if I came off as rude. It's just that I couldn't help but notice you got such an amazing score this test and was wonderin’-” He dodged the next punch by just a centimeter, putting up his hands in defeat. “Go away,” Jotaro said, and Hol Horse did comply but only because he remembered his busy schedule for lunch. Not out of fear, of course. Not at all.He headed to the cafeteria first, not knowing how long helping Josuke would take. Hopefully a while, though, so he could spend more time with her. The longer the better…The hustle and bustle of a high school cafeteria should never be underestimated. He worked through it and the long line just to get in took so long to get through it felt like he was doing a long drive of the cattle. Finally, he made it to the people he wanted to see. They looked to have been waiting.“About time,” Yukako said, pulling him down. Hol Horse was situated right between her and Melone. He looked over, trying to get a read on if liking Melone was safe. Thin jaw… Strong features… Dainty hands… Squared hips. Nope. Still couldn't.“Before y’all begin giving me the rundown, I gotta ask ya make it quick seeing as how I've got plans after this,” Hol Horse requested. Yukako nodded in understanding before diving right into the situation.“So, basically, we formed a group based on one common factor: we all have a grudge on one of the Joestars.”“More like Hoe-stars,” one person- Santana, maybe?- butted in. Yukako glared before continuing.“And, as I was saying, we would all like some help in getting revenge and fulfilling that anger. I'll start with what my problem is, who it's on, and what you should do about it. We can each go around and say ours.” Hol Horse nodded, interest now piqued. There were only seven people here, and there were eight Joestars. Maybe Hol Horse would be lucky and Josuke would be the excluded one. But, once Yukako opened her mouth, that thought left quicker than a bullet hitting a speeding horse.“So, I hate Josuke. Not the weird one, but the one with the big hair.” Hol Horse felt his heart sink but continued listening regardless. “What she did, I'm sure you're wondering, was attempt to steal my Koichi from me. Bitch thinks I don't notice her always around him. And now, every time he talks, it's always just Josuke this and Josuke that. Well, I'm sick of it, and I'd like you to end it. I don't care how, just get her off of my man.”That definitely sounded like an invitation to woo Josuke. Hol Horse happily nodded as they moved onto the next person to talk. It was Melone. Voice still ambiguous, but Hol Horse was leaning toward male. “So, I’d like you to take care of a little problem I have with Giorno. The details on why are all a bit beyond me, but that,” Melone paused, calm demeanor falling away to show a true wild horse. Hol Horse jumped back on the next words as Melone’s voice suddenly grew louder. “That utter bitch beat me up last week! Wouldn’t even spare me the reasoning. Just a little taste of her own medicine for her would be bellissimo.”Okay, beating up a girl. Definitely not Hol Horse’s alley. But, getting a girl into legal trouble for beating up others? And for payment, at that? That was his thing perfectly. Hol Horse nodded in understanding at the probably not hot Melone. Next up, Diego spoke.“Johnny Joestar is a bitchass punk who’s been bullying me since we were kids. All I need you to do is, like, push her over or something or find some dirt on her. Just a little bit of humiliation to make up for all those years, you know? I’ve been trying to do it myself but, like, beating up a cripple isn’t very good for my image.” Diego finished his tale of woe and returned to his lunch, a plate of dinosaur chicken nuggets with… Hol Horse wanted to say chocolate, but it had a very high chance of being rocks. This dude really liked dinosaurs…The one with the bright pink hair and tiny hat went after Diego, getting straight to the point. “I need you to get Jotaro off of Jolyne’s back so I can make my move. Jolyne is hot as hell, but Jotaro doesn’t let anyone touch him, especially me. So, just distract her, cause some drama in her life or something. I only want Jolyne, after all.” Hol Horse could practically see the hearts in Annasui’s eyes as he spoke, and it was pretty un-straight and therefore un-Hol Horse, but Hol Horse agreed to help anyway because he still supported the gays.“And I’d like for you to take care of Jonathan,” Mariah said, and Hol Horse gave his full attention to her because he was polite and loved the ladies. “I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about her and Mr. Brando, and I want you to shut that down so I can make my move on the teacher.” He looked at her in brief confusion for a moment. Why was everyone trying to get with the english teacher?Mariah seemed to notice his confusion, continuing with, “What? He’s hot.” Well, that made sense, and it also made sense that Hol Horse wouldn’t understand given just how purely hetero he was. Next up, Santana explained his situation.“Joseph Joestar publicly humiliated me last month, and now I want my revenge. I don’t care how it happens, just make her feel the same burning shame I did. What? How did she humiliate me?” Hol Horse is pretty sure nobody asked. “Well, that’s a secret.” Righty-o.And, last but not least, Hol Horse turned his full attention to the final beautiful maiden. “And what would you require from me, ma’am?” he suavely asked.“I love Josuke! Not the one Yukako doesn't like, but the cuter one.” Hol Horse didn't agree with that last sentiment, but he continued to silently listen nonetheless. “But, Josuke already likes someone. Her name is Yasuho. Could you do me a favor and sabotage them by making Josuke out to be undateable and horrible?”Okay, that sounded… underhanded yet doable. Hol Horse agreed in pursuit of money, finally knowing the full plan. Yukako shook on the whole thing, clarified how much money doing everything would be worth (and it was a whole lotta cash, Hol Horse reckoned), and sent him on his way. Now that he was done with that, he could see Josuke! And all in just-The entire lunch period? The bell ringing cut him off as he was heading to Josuke, and Hol Horse felt a stampeding cow caving in his gut until it fell, leaving a pit and a dirty cow behind. Oh no…He did go to class, the next one being gym. Luckily, he was already near the building thanks to his original plan to go there. All that was left was for him to hope Josuke wouldn't bring up him not showing up. That would look terrible for trying to woo her, and that was the one thing Hol Horse would not fail at! He loved the ladies, and he was, of course, an expert on wooing them.But, once he entered the gym, she was right there and looking straight at him.
