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Katsuki wasn’t sure when his husband had stopped loving him. He knew enough to blame himself, the day of their graduation when Izuku had taken his hand shyly and confessed and every day after Katsuki had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was only a matter of time before Izuku realized how unworthy Katsuki was of his forgiveness, all the wrong he had done had to come crashing back to Izuku eventually and apparently it had. It had taken four years, they’d gotten through moving into an apartment together, they’d made it through the wedding, they’d given each other equal comfort after All Might’s death earlier that summer, but it was obvious to Katsuki that it was over for Izuku.The thing that really pissed him off was that Izuku wouldn’t be honest with him. When they first got together Izuku never stopped touching Katsuki, on the train he sneakily brushed his pinky against Katsuki’s hand; at home he spent most of his time in Katsuki’s arms, face nuzzled into his neck. Izuku was still a cry baby but he had learned to seek out Katsuki when he cried so Katsuki could cradle his freckled cheeks and dry his tears. And then of course, there was the fact that Izuku was insatiable.Katsuki had fallen double, maybe triple, in love when he found out what an absolute slut Izuku was. He would sink to his knees and deepthroat Katsuki’s fingers, beg him with teary eyes to fill him up. He’d start rutting against Katsuki on the couch and not stop until they were both blissed out and undone. He would open himself on his own fingers and then rock a plug in before Katsuki got home, and then he’d bend himself over the bed and show Katsuki his prize as soon as he came through the door.But Izuku hadn’t held his hand in months. Katsuki wanted to reach out for it but Izuku had always initiated these touches, Katsuki had always let him take the lead. So if Izuku didn’t want to hold Katsuki’s hand and didn’t want to nuzzle into his chest on the couch and didn’t need Katsuki to wipe his tears and didn’t need Katsuki to satisfy him then it just meant Izuku had finally come to his fucking senses. Katsuki had never, not even for a second, deserved Izuku. The time they had together was always borrowed and now it was over. Katsuki thought about taking his things while Izuku was on patrol, maybe move into Kirishima’s extra room. He was pissed Izuku wouldn’t man up and end it but he didn’t owe Katsuki an explanation. Katsuki was selfish though, he wanted to hear it from Izuku. He wanted to memorize the reasons Izuku stopped loving him so he never got the idea to come back.So with the decision made to force Izuku to be honest and end it, Katsuki went about making katsudon for supper and waiting for Izuku to finish patrol. The longer he waited the more his anger simmered and the wilder his thoughts became. He understood why Izuku didn’t love him anymore better than he understood why Izuku had ever loved him at all. But he couldn’t understand why Izuku had stopped fucking him, he knew he gave it to him good. Izuku’s breathless whines and flushed face whenever they were done was proof of that. The only logical explanation was that Izuku was getting it good elsewhere; maybe with turbo legs or pink cheeks or that half and half genetic freak.By the time Izuku opened the door and called out quietly that he was home Katsuki had retreated to their bedroom. Abandoning any idea that Izuku should come clean around the time his eyes began to burn behind visions of different lips on his husband’s mouth and neck and thick cock. Katsuki ignored Izuku’s greeting in favoring of shoving more of his clothes into his utility duffle and trying to rein in the tears that were scalding him down his cheeks.“Katsuki? Supper smells good!” Izuku chirped from the hallway and Katsuki had the feverish notion to bolt out of the apartment. Maybe he could blast out the window before Izuku made his way down the hall.“Kacchan?” Izuku sounded worried now, reverting to that stupid cutsie nickname and suddenly Katsuki wasn’t crying anymore, he was seething with rage. How dare Izuku act so concerned? How dare he keep pretending?Katsuki snatched his duffle from the bed and barreled out into the hall, knocking Izuku off balance in the doorway. He didn’t stop to see if Izuku recovered and moved quickly for the door.“Katsuki, where are you going?” Izuku cried. Katsuki could hear shuffling behind him and the masochist in him ordered him to turn around, to see Izuku on his knees, to always remember that he put him there eventually.He had to make sure Izuku was as broken as he was, they had to break and fall apart together so none of the pieces ever fit again.But when he turned he wasn’t ready to see emerald eyes already shining with tears, wasn’t expecting Izuku’s cheeks to be flushed pink. He wasn’t expecting Izuku to look so devastating. Katsuki dropped his pack, lost in the study of beautiful, shattering Deku and Izuku slid forward to pull it to his own chest, still kneeling. “Did you get called for a mission, Kacchan?” Izuku asked, but it sounded so hollow. Izuku already knew the answer so he unzipped the duffel and began howling when he recognized clothes Katsuki wouldn’t need on a mission, when he saw Katsuki’s family picture, and the lube and condoms Katsuki had grabbed in a fit; deciding that if Izuku was going to fuck someone else they would have to be prepared.Katsuki broke for the hundredth time that day, possibly the thousandth time that month as Izuku began muttering; mouth forming nonsensical apologies and questions. Katsuki steeled himself, he always had to be the strong one.He scrubbed his cheeks dry and said even and clearly “It’s over, Izuku. It’s been over for months.”The howling stopped and Katsuki felt his resolve harden in the quiet. He went to Deku to take back his bag, Izuku let it go without resistance and Katsuki felt a confusing pang of victory that he had been right; Izuku didn’t want him and with Katsuki’s permission to stop pretending he did. He was waiting quietly for Katsuki to go and to finally free him. Katsuki hurried to put everything back, so ready to be gone. Tired from months of rejection and fear and feeling ashamed for still loving a man that obviously had stopped loving him.Bag repacked, Katsuki slung it over his shoulder and turned away from Izuku. As he reached the door he was stopped again, this time by Izuku’s voice, sounding wet and impossibly small, “Why, Kacchan? Please, please tell me why?” Katsuki stomped back, enraged by Izuku acting! Why couldn’t this idiot let it go!? “You fucking know why, asshole! I’m not just going to stay in some stupid pretend marriage! It’s so fucking pointless to keep pretending you love someone!”Izuku took a sharp breath and then another. He wrapped his arms around his own stomach and leaned forward, still taking gasping breaths that sounded painful to Katsuki. He had only seen Izuku like this once, the day after All Might’s funeral; Izuku had wailed until his breathing became sharp and fast and he had kept breathing that way until he passed out on their living room floor.Katsuki’s irritation spiked, Izuku had no reason to act like this; he was the one getting what he wanted. Katsuki was even letting him off easy, not forcing him to explain.But still, Katsuki went to Izuku. He couldn’t bring himself to kneel with him or touch him but he shushed Izuku as gently as he could manage. After a few minutes of this and Izuku not calming Katsuki broke. He forgot his anger and pride and reluctance to initiate physical touch and fell to his knees beside his husband. He pulled Izuku to his chest and buried his face in forest green curls. He shushed and rubbed Izuku’s back and whispered a million I love you’s because he would never get to say it again.Somewhere in the middle of his litany Izuku calmed and then turned his face towards Katsuki’s who didn’t stop his whispered confessions.“Katsuki, you said you didn’t love me,” his voice broke, “but now you’re saying you do.” Tears swam in Izuku’s eyes again, their red rims complimenting the green perfectly.Katsuki pushed Izuku away gruffly and demanded, “When have I ever said I didn’t love you?”Izuku’s eyes widened and he gestured vaguely towards the door, mouth open dumbly. “I’m leaving because it’s pretty obvious you don’t love me, Izuku. And it’s fine. I never deserved you loving me and I’ve always been waiting for you to come to your fucking senses and stop. I just didn’t expect you to be such a pussy ass bitch about it!”Izuku closed his eyes for a long moment and pressed his finger tips to his lips and then suddenly he was laughing weakly, clinging to Katsuki’s chest and pressing his face into his shoulder and laughing. “Pussy ass bitch...Really, Katsuki?” His laughter trailed off but he kept his body close to Katsuki’s. Katsuki gave up on feeling angry and let himself hold Izuku, he was confused and tired but he was holding Izuku, and Izuku had been laughing and suddenly Katsuki realized he hadn’t heard that laugh in so long.“Kacchan? How could you think I would stop loving you. You’re forgiven for everything, you’ve always been forgiven. You’re so different now. I wanted to marry you because I knew I would love you forever and I do. I love you. How could you think I’m pretending?”Katsuki’s eyes were wet. His chest was tight and his eyes were wet and he just wanted to go to sleep. This whole thing was exhausting but Deku said he was wrong.“You used to hold my hand!” He finally blurted lamely, Izuku hummed noncommittally and rubbed his sides.“We used to cuddle on the couch and you let me comfort you when you cried and you used to want to fuck like every seven seconds and now we have hardly touched since....” Katsuki trailed off as a realization hit him.Everything had changed when All Might died. No, that wasn’t quite right, in the days between All Might’s death and his funeral Izuku had let Katsuki hold him constantly, at night they had kissed slowly and rocked together gently until Izuku whimpered and begged Katsuki to fuck him harder.It was after Izuku had passed out in the living room, he had never sought Katsuki out after that, never reached for him, hadn’t begged for him. Izuku shifted closer to Katsuki and let out a slow breath before asking “Will you get my bag? It’s by the door?” Katsuki blinked slowly and then moved to get the Hero Deku branded duffel. Izuku finally rose to wander to the couch. Katsuki brought him his bag silently and waited for Izuku’s explanation. Izuku unzipped the front pocket and retrieved two orange prescription bottles that he pressed into Katsuki’s palms.“I was embarrassed. It was so awful when you saw me break down that day. I got these,” Katsuki tuned out Izuku’s muttering to read the prescriptions one labeled Lexapro and the other Ativan. Katsuki settled himself next to Izuku who reached out tentatively to stroke Katsuki’s arm but withdrew at the last moment; continuing his muttering. Katsuki snapped himself out of his daze to listen. He had to listen, they had to communicate. Deku had taught him that.“I couldn’t keep being a hero when I was like that but I had to keep being a hero, Kacchan. I had to keep being Deku and you had to keep being Ground Zero and I couldn’t.” Izuku paused to once again to slide closer and Katsuki reached for him this time, pulling him in tight. He was exhausted and Izuku was shaking but they were together. They were communicating. This was okay.“So, anyway, I got these and um, they can lower your libido and I’m sorry I was so scared if we got started and what if I couldn’t get into it? And what if you were mad? And we’ve always, you know, done a lot of sex-“Katsuki cut him off with a low snort and Izuku replied with a sheepish smile.“I didn’t want to kiss and cuddle and lay with you because I was just so nervous it wouldn’t be the same and I didn’t want anything to change or get ruined and I guess I ruined it, anyway. I’m sorry, Katsu. I’m so sorry.”And then Izuku was crying with remorse and Katsuki was crying with relief and they exchanged a slow, sweet kiss and took turns wiping each other’s cheeks. Katsuki held Izuku long after they had cried themselves out and Izuku dozed off, pink cheeked and pressed against Katsuki’s chest. He buried his nose in his husband’s moss green curls and inhaled his scent, finally relaxed and at peace knowing they were both still dumbasses that didn’t communicate as well as they hoped but also assured that they were both still in this for the long haul.They would have to talk about this more, Katsuki would have to apologize for trying to leave. His heart clenched painfully when his eyes flicked back to his bag, still laying in the hallway. He needed to tell Izuku that it would be okay if their sex life changed, they would figure it out as long as they had this. Izuku would probably make him talk through his feelings of impending doom about Izuku leaving him but they were both too tired for that now. Katsuki felt so close to Izuku in that moment, if they had this, it would always be enough.Katsuki shifted Izuku into his lap fully and heaved them both up. Izuku stirred and his eyes peeked up at Katsuki, “Kacchan?” Katsuki pressed his lips to Izuku’s forehead and murmured “Shhh, we’re going to bed, nerd.” Izuku smiled softly and nuzzled against Katsuki further as he picked their way to the bedroom over two discarded bags, resigning himself to let the katsudon congeal on the counter for the night. Thankful they hadn’t eaten his goodbye meal.Katsuki held his husband close and thanked whatever Gods were watching over him that they were together.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Katsuki woke up his throat was dry and his eyes burned, but Izuku was wound around him. Their legs were tangled and Izuku’s nose was pressed into the crook of his neck. His breathing was slow and quiet and he looked devastatingly beautiful. Katsuki stroked his fingers through the messy hair on Izuku’s head and wished both that he would sleep forever and that he would wake in the next second. Katsuki could feel the weight of the conversation they needed to have settled deep in his chest so he held Izuku tight until the emptiness of his stomach and the heaviness in his bladder drew him out of bed. He moved quietly to not disturb Izuku, satisfied with himself when Deku didn’t so much as stir when Katsuki slid out of the room to relieve himself and make them breakfast.His motions were almost robotic as he disposed of the abandoned katsudon and started on miso soup and rice. He was tense, longing to hear Izuku’s reassurances again. Izuku drifted into the kitchen just as Katsuki was finishing up and offered him a wobbly smile. Katsuki’s heart throbbed painfully when he took in Izuku’s puffy eyes.“Morning, Kacchan.”Katsuki felt lost and wanted, no needed, to hold Izuku and since ignoring those needs had played a role in creating the rift between them he held his arms open silently. Izuku ducked into his arms and Katsuki could feel himself almost vibrating with how grateful he was. “Katsu,” Izuku rumbled against his chest.Katsuki squeezed him to cut him off, “Let’s eat first, Deku. I’m starving.”Izuku uncurled himself from Katsuki and went to seat himself at the table. They ate quietly and Katsuki definitely didn’t jump when Izuku reached over the table to tangle their fingers together and stroke Katsuki’s knuckles with his thumb.Deku always had a thing for his hands and visions of Izuku’s sinful tongue lapping the space between his fingers and moaning about how sweet he tasted danced behind Katsuki’s eyes. He shifted in his seat and could feel his cheeks heating up and his pants tightening. It had been so long.When they finished eating Izuku stood and rounded the table, he used his grip on Katsuki’s hand to pull him along to the couch and settled in his lap. Katsuki hissed as Izuku’s firm ass pressed down on his half hard cock and Izuku looked startled. “Sorry,” Katsuki started, feeling so pathetic with a half chub because his husband held his hand. Izuku didn’t comment and shifted up to kiss him chastely.“Katsuki, I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving. I’m sorry that I was so distant you thought that was even a possibility. You’re it for me.” Katsuki’s heart burst and suddenly he was grabbing Izuku’s face and crushing their lips together fiercely.Izuku humored him, kissing back hotly and nipping Katsuki’s bottom lip before pushing away.“But you can’t do that.” Izuku gestured at Katsuki’s bag, still forgotten in the hallway. “Did you really want to go?” He asked more quietly and Katsuki heard the pain in Izuku’s voice and his own broke when he replied.“Never. You’re it for me, too. I was scared.” He could feel the confession burning his lips as it passed.And then Izuku’s lips were back on his soothing the sting and he was shifting to straddle Katsuki and the friction was so delicious. Izuku broke away again to ask something so quietly and so unsure, “What if....what if it doesn’t work?” While glancing down at the place their hips were aligned, Katsuki’s shorts obviously tented and Izuku’s loose. “I’ll jack it in the bathroom and then we’ll get on with our day.” Katsuki shrugged.“But I’m gonna try, ‘Zu. Wanna fuck you. Wanna hear you beg.” Izuku’s cheeks turned a gorgeous shade of red and he dipped down to suck a mark on Katsuki’s neck.“What if I wanna watch?” Izuku murmured against the skin he’d abused and his breath against it made Katsuki shiver.“Yeah, yeah. Fuck you can watch.”Katsuki gripped Deku’s hips and ground their cocks together, even through all their clothes it had him clenching his jaw and Izuku gasped against his throat. They returned to kissing but it was hungrier this time. Izuku’s lips parted for him easily and he lapped inside, mapping all the ridges and Izuku let out a soft sound when he fucked his tongue in, mimicking what he wanted to do to his husband. A few more hard rolls of his hips and Izuku bit his lip harshly and mewled.Katsuki glanced down and couldn’t bite back a victorious grin when he saw Izuku’s dick now straining in his shorts. It was a slower reaction than usual but Izuku definitely still wanted it. Katsuki chuckled darkly and Izuku looked at him questioningly.“I guess I’m gonna have to really take my time with you, baby. Gonna wreck you so slow.” He replied to the unasked question and Izuku whimpered in the space between their lips.Katsuki lifted Izuku easily, keeping their hips tight together so each step on the way to their bed rocked their hard cocks together and left Izuku panting and grinding down against him clumsily. He tossed Izuku and watched him bounce on the mattress while he finally stripped out of his shorts, sucking in a breath as his dick bobbed free and the cool air of the room assaulted it. Izuku was watching him dumbly, eyes locked on the angry red head of his dick. He teased him by gripping it and milking out a pearly bead of precum.Izuku scrambled up the bed on his hands and knees and Katsuki groaned as he greedily tongued his slit and moaned around the head of his cock. Izuku sucked cock like he was made for it. Hollowing his cheeks and swirling his tongue, pulling off to leave searing kissed up the shaft. Teasing his balls and gods, the way he moaned when Katsuki bucked his hips and slid past the ring of muscle and into Izuku’s throat. Katsuki tangled his fingers in green curls and tensed his abs, it’d been too long and he was already so close to losing it. He almost didn’t hold back, knowing if he came Izuku would drink it down and moan, but he wanted more. Wanted to ruin his husband so he held his release back and gave Izuku’s hair a sharp tug. Izuku pulled back and sucked in a breath, his eyes were watery and his cheeks were flushed and he looked divine. Katsuki shoved his shoulder and Izuku laid back obediently.Katsuki followed him up the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, attacking the long column of Izuku’s neck with kisses and nips before moving down to his chest. Laving his tongue over one pink bud until it was stiff while rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. He could write sonnets about Izuku’s tits.Izuku whined above him and shifted his hips, Katsuki shifted to lay between his legs, letting Izuku grind against his belly while he continued his assault on his firm pecs. When both nipples were hardened and wet he flicked them and then slapped them with carefully heated hands. This got the most delicious response from Deku yet who bucked his hips harshly and let out a long cry of Katsuki’s name. Katsuki brought himself back up to kiss the noises off Izuku’s lips. Izuku began letting out little hiccuping sobs and kept wiggling his hips beneath Katsuki and realization hit him like a train.He threw himself back and yanked Izuku’s shorts down to reveal his cock, messy with cum and softening against his stomach. Katsuki growled as Izuku covered his face. “Look at that, Deku. Look at the mess you made just from having your tits fucked with.” Izuku squeaked and Katsuki descended on him like an animal, licking every trace of the bitter cum that pooled between Izuku’s legs. His husband whined with overstimulation as Katsuki licked up his cock. Katsuki gave him a break to peel the sticky shorts off his legs completely and then busied himself kissing and biting Izuku’s thighs until he was whimpering in pleasure all over again. Katsuki slid lower on the bed, relishing the drag of his own heavy cock on the soft sheets and hitched Izuku’s limp legs over his shoulders.Izuku’s cock was still limp, but it was so thick and looked perfect laying against the coarse nest of green hairs so Katsuki spent time worshipping it until it started to fill out again and then brought his attention lower, angling Izuku’s hips up and spreading his ass cheeks with one hand until he could see the pink prize. Izuku whined above him and wiggled his hips enticingly.“Yeah, baby? Want me to kiss you here too?” Katsuki purposely pressed his lips closer to the tight pucker so Izuku would feel his breath puff against it. Izuku’s thighs tensed around his head and Izuku whined unintelligibly.Katsuki lifted his head to take in the wreck that was his husband, his cheeks were wet and his flush had spread down his neck and chest. “Come on, baby. You know what I want to hear.” Katsuki prodded and Izuku’s glazed eyes met his, he blinked slowly and Katsuki could see his words click in Izuku’s head.“Please, Gods please.”Katsuki grinned sharply and dove back down. He treated Izuku to broad licks over his hole and up to the bottom of his sack until Izuku relaxed and loosened enough for him to curl his tongue inside and nip the rim gently, dragging his nails down Izuku’s toned chest and ribs.Izuku moaned lowly and his hands found Katsuki’s hair, tugging sharply and cutting his focus as the pleasure pain shook through him. He ground his own neglected cock into the bed and panted against Izuku’s asshole before grunting at his husband to get the lube.Izuku stretched to reach the bedside table behind him and as Katsuki began to sit up the bottle thunked him in the head. Izuku giggled an apology dizzily and made grabby hands for Katsuki. Katsuki pulled him up so their chests were pressed together and Izuku could nuzzle into him. “I love you.” He gasped into Katsuki’s ear. “I love you so much.”“I know.” Katsuki murmured as laid Izuku back gently. He slicked two fingers and the first sank in easily, Izuku was so open and ready for him and his head spun with want. He rubbed his own cock absently to take the edge off as he searched for that spot inside Izuku that would work him back to wordless whimpers and whining. As soon as he found it he was relentless, pressing in a second finger to prod and curl with the first.Sure enough Izuku’s cries reached a higher pitch and he ground his hips down against Katsuki’s hand, fucking himself on his fingers and keening. Katsuki moved up his body, capturing Izuku’s lips and getting lost in the wet sounds of Izuku’s ass sucking his fingers back in.He pulled his fingers out and Izuku whined Please, no at the loss. Katsuki huffed and slicked another finger in lube before pushing all three into Izuku’s eager ass.“You’re so sloppy down here, baby. I wish you could see. It’s so hot how bad your body wants me. You want my cock now, baby? Tell me how bad.” Izuku whined in response and his head thrashed side to side.Katsuki knew he wasn’t really saying no and he preened knowing Izuku was too lost in the pleasure of Katsuki’s fingers to answer. Even so, he couldn’t help but tease him. “No? Oh, you don’t want it? Maybe I’ll only give you my fingers then, little slut. Make you cum just like this. Is that what you need?” Izuku’s eyes flew open at the insult and his ass spasmed around Katsuki’s fingers and he howled as he painted his own stomach with his second orgasm of the night.Katsuki couldn’t resist smirking again.Of course Deku would work himself up like this and deny them both only to finish twice before Katsuki could even get his dick wet. It was gonna take a hell of a lot more than some pills to keep Izuku from falling apart from his husband’s touch. Katsuki bent to clean up the mess as Izuku caught his breath. He savored the bitter taste and curled some in his tongue before pressing his lips to Izuku’s and sharing the precious flavor between them. “Kacchan,” Deku whined “S’gross.” But his breathless voice gave away his pleasure at the filthy display.“One more, baby?” Katsuki whispered, Izuku looked so fucked out and closed his eyes to consider. “I’m not gonna last long.” Katsuki wasn’t sure if he was apologizing or reassuring Deku but his husband nodded and breathed a quiet “You better.”Katsuki growled at the challenge and reached for the drawer to get a condom. Izuku caught his arm and drew him into a lazy kiss.“Not today?” He batted his lashes. Katsuki kissed him in agreement and lined himself up.‘Not gonna last’ was obviously an understatement as soon as he began pushing in. Izuku was so hot and tight around him he had to pause with just the tip inside and take a slow breath. They usually used a condom when Izuku bottomed because he didn’t like the process of cleaning it out later. Katsuki loved being absolutely full of Izuku when he bottomed and for him it was worth it to have no barriers between them.“Feels good, doesn’t it, Kacchan?” Katsuki hoisted one of Izuku’s legs against his chest and kissed his calf tenderly, all he could muster was “So good, baby.” before fucking himself a little deeper. Izuku gasped and tilted his hips up, sinking Katsuki deeper into him as they both groaned.Katsuki was pleased to see Izuku’s cock filling out again and reached between them to tug it. He bottomed out with a hiss and regretted that he hadn’t let himself finish down Izuku’s throat earlier.It was too much.He breathed deeply and let himself adjust before setting a harsh rhythm. If he was gonna bust he would make damn sure Izuku did first. He pulled out every trick in the book, bending Izuku almost double and fucking him with short hard thrusts to his prostate. Holding himself up on one arm he let the other wander Izuku’s chest, pinching and pulling his nipples until his eyes were glassy and watering again before going back to working his dick and palming his balls. Izuku whined and whimpered and begged and did all the things that drove Katsuki crazy. All too soon Katsuki was shouting a warning and Izuku squeaked out, “Inside~”Katsuki slammed himself deep and let go, feeling the warmth of his come filling Izuku up. Izuku keened and he tightened around Katsuki and came for the third time, barely a dribble of cum oozing out of his spent dick. Katsuki lowered his hips back to the bed and pulled out, a small flood of his cum following his cock.He scooped some up with his fingers and pressed it back into Izuku’s puffy asshole, drunk on the thought of his seed filling his husband just a little longer. His ministrations were causing Izuku to writhe in overstimulation so he abandoned his cause in favor of holding his sweet Deku. Katsuki pulled himself up the bed and collapsed next to a thoroughly debauched Izuku. Izuku curled into his side and Katsuki was only a little surprised to see him crying, sometimes after they’d scened or Katsuki had edged him he’d cry after his release.He felt close to crying himself, finally finally feeling reunited with his Izuku. Katsuki gathered him against his chest and let the younger man cry himself dry. Gods, he had missed this, not just the absolutely mind melting sex but also all the intimacy, being trusted to wipe the number 2 hero’s tears and be his comfort.“You okay?” He pressed a warm kiss to Izuku’s temple and felt a nod against his lips.“I just love you so much.” Izuku sighed.Katsuki pressed another kiss to his temple “I love you, too.”Izuku turned to face Katsuki and his eyes were suddenly burning with determination.“Good! Then listen to me, I forgave you a long time ago but you have to forgive yourself. I know I shouldn’t have withdrawn like that but you have to stop operating with the assumption that I’m waiting to leave you. I’m not leaving.”He held up his left hand to show Katsuki the simple gold band he himself had placed on it and Katsuki held up his own ringed hand so they could thread their fingers together.“Fuck ‘Zu. I’m not leaving either.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It isn’t always rainbows, sunshine and hard dicks.The first time Izuku can’t get it up he pushes Katsuki back from between his legs by the shoulders and sprints to the bathroom.Katsuki stays on his knees with his mouth still slack, he can hear the stupid popping noise his mouth made when his husband forced him off his limp dick on a loop in his head. He feels dumb but underneath that he also feels kind of useless and ashamed.When they first talked about what would happen if Izuku’s meds kept him from getting into it the blonde had been cocksure and flippant, teased Izuku that he’d let him watch him strip his cock.But now here they were, Katsuki on his knees beside the bed - stomach in knots and his husband hiding in the bathroom. And now that he’s thinking about it he’s a little pissed because Izuku promised to communicate more, their marriage was almost destroyed because Deku wouldn’t just fucking talk to him.But no, that’s not exactly right.Katsuki had a hand in it too, because as much as Izuku wouldn’t communicate Katsuki hadn’t tried to either. He’d gotten into his own head and created scenarios where Deku was solely the villain. He assuaged his guilt from their past by inventing ways that none of what was happening could possibly be his fault.They’d both agreed to do better but apparently it was his turn right now so he takes a few breaths to calm himself entirely down before he goes to knock gently on the bathroom door.“‘Zu?”Sniffles and shuffling answer him but his husband doesn’t.“Izuku? Baby, it’s okay.”Katsuki isn’t even finished talking before Izuku starts sobbing in earnest. Katsuki jumps when he hears things crashing in the bathroom and then Izuku’s thick voice, warbling through tears, crying out a mix of not okay and sorry, sorry, sorry!“It is okay, baby! Don’t be sorry. Please, please don’t be sorry, Izuku. We knew this could happen with your meds”Deku lets out a desperate wail and Katsuki’s eyes prickle and it gets harder to speak over the lump in his throat.“It’s not a problem for me. It’s really not but please, Gods, I can’t listen to you crying. Please ‘Zu, I know this is hard but we promised we’d keep talking, we promised not to hide from each other.”His voice finally cracks as he gets more and more upset himself, listening to his husband cry, not being able to comfort him. Izuku either not trusting Katsuki to be okay with the situation or being so upset himself he doesn’t care what Katsuki’s reaction will be.They listen to each other cry from opposite sides of the bathroom door until they’re both cried dry.And then silence.The fear that Deku’s about to leave him tries to resurface. He hasn’t truly thought about it in months, since his meltdown and almost leaving the love of his life.Things have gotten better since then. It took weeks of rebuilding their trust in each other, lots of long talks and a few more screaming matches just to feed Katsuki’s critical inner voice but Deku never leaves him. Deku never asks him to go.At the end of each day they lay in bed together and kiss love into each other’s skin. Most nights if they aren’t too tired or beaten up the chaste kisses evolve into a lot of really hot sex, frankly.Izuku’s fears about his meds interfering with their intimacy had seemed unfounded, they’d talked to death about Katsuki’s self destructive habits and they’d been communicating. Katsuki still had nightmares about his husband’s pretty pink lips wrapped around faceless cocks but when that happened Izuku held him, whispered to him for hours that the things in his nightmares would stay there.All of that and now they’re sat on opposite sides of the bathroom door in silence. Katsuki counts down from ten slowly, comforts himself and comes back to baseline while remembering the sweet things his husband would croon to him when he was insecure.Izuku needs that now, he realizes suddenly. He lets his head thunk back against the door and just starts talking, he makes an effort to make his voice as soft and gentle as possible as he talks even though he can’t keep himself from swearing.“Fucking ‘Zu, listen. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”Deku’s sniffles pick back up through the door.“No, shhh baby. Quit crying and listen. Ya know when I went to get groceries the other night? You bitched at me for taking so damn long?”Silence.“C’mon ‘Zu! You remember?”Izuku’s voice is so so soft Katsuki hardly hears him but it sends a jolt through his entire body just to hear it.“I didn’t bitch, Kacchan.”Katsuki laughs, “Okay, fine but you did whine.”“Missed you is all.”Katsuki’s heart turns to goo and melts in his chest cavity. He can feel the warmth spreading through his whole body.“I missed you too, sweetheart. I really did, but I never told you why I took so long. Ya wanna know?”Shuffling and a soft thump answers him and then Deku mmhmmm’s loud enough for Katsuki to hear and Katsuki relaxes just a little now that he doesn’t hear anymore sniffles and his husband has calmed enough to stop wailing and breaking shit.“So when we went out to fucking brunch”He can’t keep himself from saying brunch with venom, it’s one of his core values to be absolutely repulsed by the concept of brunch itself.“ - a few weeks ago, you got that peach smoothie thing? Your whole face scrunched up when you drank it because it was too tangy. You’re such a baby. And I’ve been thinking about it every fucking day, Izuku. Your little nose all scrunched up and you kept licking your lips like a dumbass.”Izuku makes a soft noise from the other side of the door, it’s not quite a laugh but it also isn’t crying so Katsuki keeps rambling.“So, anyway when I went grocery shopping and was gone for too long and came home to a giant baby whining because he missed me - that was because I was looking for peaches. I was gonna make you drink a bunch of them smoothies and laugh at you and shit, ya know?”A full giggle from Deku makes Katsuki’s warm heart goo thrum through him until he can feel the warmth in his toes.“So I was trying to pick the best peaches. I looked it up and shit how to pick the best ones but none of the peaches were right and I needed the best fucking peaches so you’d make your stupid face again.””And I just kept going to all these stores, trying to find some damn peaches but I couldn’t. I was so pissed on the train home. I had all these bags and I was crammed in with all these extras and I didn’t have any fucking peaches to show for it. I was mad, Deku. And then I got home and as soon as I opened the door you came running.”“And you were bitching and whining” - he does a terrible, unflattering impression of Deku’s voice, nasally and high for no reason.“Oh, Kacchan, I missed you! Where were you, Kacchan? You’re the greatest human being I’ve ever met and you’re so fucking hot, Kacchan.”Izuku laughs fully now. “That’s not what I sound like and it’s not what I said!” He protests, but there’s still laughter in his voice.“Shut up, Deku, lemme tell my story. Because the point is that as soon as I saw you I didn’t even fucking care about the peaches anymore and I was sad I spent so much time away from you to look for the shitty things when I coulda been holding you that whole time. I love you so much, ‘Zu. Wish you’d let me hold you now.”The door behind his head starts to open and he turns at the waist just in time for Deku to collapse into him, whimpering apologies and I love you’s.Katsuki pulls his husband up into his lap and crushes him tight against his chest.“We gotta quit doin this, Deku. I fucking hate crying on the floor with you.”Deku sighs and nuzzles into his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Kacchan. I know, I know we said it would be okay if this happened but it still....it fucking....I’m upset.”Katsuki can’t help but snort, “I noticed. Is there any bathroom left in there or is our security deposit gone?”Deku shoves back a little to look at him incredulously, “You really think we’d still get our deposit back after what you did to the wall in the laundry room?”“Shut the fuck up, nerd!” Katsuki screeches as he hefts Deku off the ground and carries him back to bed.He thinks they’ll have to have a talk but once they’re all snuggled in together he can see how drained Izuku is, so he shushes him when he opens his mouth and the covers his freckled cheeks and forehead with soft kisses until his breathing evens out and he’s asleep.Katsuki presses his body as tight against Izuku’s as he possibly can. This is enough, if Deku’s dick never starts working again, this is more than enough.