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Sunggyu rolls over in bed and tucks the duvet under his chin, feet gently rubbing together as he snuggles in. Sleep softens the edges of his thoughts so it takes almost a minute for him to realise that he was woken by something, a minute longer to feel start feeling uneasy. Then he hears it again. A quiet knock on the apartment door and a muffled voice. The too-bright phone screen says its 2:56am and Sunggyu’s heart starts to thump anxiously. He considers pulling the covers up over his head and hoping the warmth protects him, pulls him into a dream much better than the reality he fears he’s about to face. When the knock sounds again through the dark apartment he sighs. There is only one person that could possibly be here at this hour. Socked feet hit the floor softly as Sunggyu pulls himself to the edge of the bed. He runs his hands over his face in frustration and then pulls his sleep-heavy body up to start moving to the hall. Sunggyu tries to be quiet, steps hesitant. A small part of his mind is convinced that he won’t open the door and if he’s quiet the person on the other side will never be the wiser to his presence and chose to just leave. But as Sunggyu steps up to the screen and sees the disheveled man slumped against the other side of the front door he knows his will is weak. One hand tightens on the door handle, knuckles turning white as he presses the button to release the electronic lock. The sound rings in his ears as he pulls the door open to reveal the shorter man. “Woohyun” Sunggyu sighs. “It’s the middle of the night, you can’t do this anymore.”“There are a lot of things we can’t do anymore, huh?” Woohyun spits out looking up to make eye contact. Sunggyu feels small under his gaze, there is so much anger and hurt in Woohyun’s eyes and Sunggyu’s guilt compresses his chest with the knowledge that it’s all his fault. “Just come in out of the hall, Hyun.” Sunggyu knows he fucked up the second the nickname rolls of his tongue, Woohyun’s eyes widening and glinting with a hope that should never have been planted. Sunggyu steps aside to let Woohyun into the apartment and thinks that he needs to be careful, he doesn’t want to hurt Woohyun more than he already has, he never wanted to hurt Woohyun at all. Woohyun toes off his shoes and grabs a pair of the slippers that Sunggyu has always insisted be worn in the house at all times, no exceptions. As Sunggyu watches Woohyun move down the hall with a confidence born from familiarity of the apartment in his gait, he realizes that whatever this visit is it’s going to be hard. Three days previously Sunggyu had faintly told Woohyun that they should break up, two lives shattering with one sentence. It wasn’t that Sunggyu didn’t love Woohyun, maybe it was the exact opposite. Woohyun loved so easily, it came to him like breathing, like he was born to give and receive love and it scared Sunggyu. The love he had to offer was hard won, rarely spoken, fragile, not enough. In Sunggyu’s opinion Woohyun deserved better – deserved the fated love he spoke about with a childlike awe in his expression. ‘Commitment Issues’ Myungsoo had dubbed it when Sunggyu called him close to tears the moment Woohyun had given up trying to get a coherent reason for just why this breakup was necessary and left the apartment. Sunggyu had simply scoffed at Myungsoo, hung up the phone and then burrowed into his bed for the next 72 hours to lick his self-inflicted wounds. He follows Woohyun into the main living space and wants to laugh when he realizes they are sat on the black leather lounge in the exact place where he had ended things. He feels unsteady, not knowing what Woohyun is going to say and too scared to prompt the man to start. His legs ache with the urge to stand up and just run.“Hyung. Sunggyu…” Woohyun stutters and then pauses, looking up at Sunggyu but not meeting his eyes this time. Next thing Sunggyu finds himself pressed into the back of the couch, Woohyun’s weight demanding and familiar lips crashing against his with a taste of desperation that has never been there before. The shock causes Sunggyu to react slower than his earlier thought of “I have to be careful” would have suggested, but he manages to wrap his hands around Woohyun’s biceps and push him back until they are sitting an arm’s breadth apart. Panting, Woohyun speaks before Sunggyu has a chance to: “Please, Hyung… just for tonight, I know you won’t be mine tomorrow… we don’t have to talk. Please, let me love you goodbye?” the weight of his upper body pressing insistently against Sunggyu’s palms. They shouldn’t. It’s a terrible idea. A monumental fuck up in the making. However, this doesn’t stop Sunggyu’s gaze moving to Woohyun’s plump and glistening lips. “We won’t be the first couple to sleep together one last time” Sunggyu thinks, giving in to the magnetic pull of the man in his grip. Sunggyu lies to himself – this is only about what Woohyun wants, what Woohyun needs in order to heal. Sunggyu leans in first this time and captures Woohyun’s bottom lip, giving it a brief gentle suck before deepening the kiss without saying a word. He has always loved Woohyun’s mouth, soft plump lips that used to curl up into a smile as Sunggyu kissed them, countless kisses broken by soft giggles. There is nothing playful about the way Woohyun is kissing Sunggyu in this moment. It’s breathless and although there is clear want and lust, there is an underlying need to map out Sunggyu’s mouth and commit it to memory. A good bye; Sunggyu hates them. When Woohyun runs his tongue along the back of Sunggyu’s top teeth and across his palate the first moan escapes Sunggyu’s lips. Spurred on by the encouragement Woohyun moves to straddle Sunggyu’s lap and press his fingertips harshly onto Sunggyu’s scalp. Sunggyu can’t remember the last time they made out like this and it turns him on embarrassingly fast, the loose boxer shorts that he sleeps in doing absolutely nothing to hide his growing arousal. Sunggyu runs his hands down Woohyun’s shoulders, tucking his hands underneath the cardigan and forcing Woohyun to let go of his hair in order to strip down. Woohyun’s shirt follows quickly and Sunggyu can’t help himself, leaning in to gently kiss the moles dotted across Woohyun’s collarbone. He knows the younger boy has never liked marks being left behind, but as he tries to pull away Woohyun firmly holds him in place, moaning as Sunggyu gives a harder, bruising suck. Woohyun shifts, tilting his hips forward creating friction that is so infuriatingly insufficient, doing nothing to relieve the heat pooling in Sunggyu’s lower stomach. When Sunggyu digs his hands into Woohyun’s hips, pulling him in closer as he bucks up, Woohyun breaks the kiss suddenly. Woohyun is panting, hair a mess, eyes blown wide with lust and he is Stunning. Woohyun sits back slightly and Sunggyu gazes up with a quizzical look, not understanding what has caused Woohyun to hit pause. It’s then that mischief sparks across Woohyun’s eyes and his mouth stretches into a smirk as he slides off Sunggyu’s lap and settles onto the floor. Burning hot hands start moving along the inside of Sunggyu’s bare thighs, pressing harder as they move higher, frustratingly skirting around to the edge of Sunggyu’s hips and onto his lower stomach. Sunggyu hasn’t broken eye contact with Woohyun since he settled down in-between his legs and his entire body feels too hot. Woohyun uses one hand to push down the elastic of Sunggyu’s boxers, the other bunched in the fabric of Sunggyu’s t-shirt as he presses it higher exposing soft pale skin. They’ve found themselves in this position countless times and Sunggyu has always thought Woohyun was most talented with his mouth but also with his patience. Usually the teasing that Sunggyu has to endure makes him lose his mind. Tonight Woohyun clearly has other plans which catches Sunggyu completely off guard. He has barely felt Woohyun’s cool breath hit his cock when warm lips are wrapped around him and a tongue is pressed into the slit. It’s too much too soon and Sunggyu’s head hits the back of the couch with force as Woohyun’s name is ripped from his throat, high-pitched and broken and humiliating. Sunggyu suddenly fears that even when he’s eventually moaning a different name it will be Woohyun’s face swimming in his mind. All Sunggyu can do in this moment is reach out and twist his hands roughly in Woohyun’s hair and try to use the small amount of restraint he has to not buck up into Woohyun’s throat. Woohyun moves his mouth along Sunggyu’s shaft, talented tongue tracing across hot skin enthusiastically making Sunggyu groan. When Woohyun moves upwards wrapping around the head again sucking in his cheeks, Sunggyu notices that Woohyun has moved one of his owns hands to between his legs, rubbing against the bulge in his jeans that sorely needs attention. A low, frustrated growl sounds from the man on his knees and with startling speed he’s standing and Sunggyu finds himself pulled up from the couch and caught in a bruising kiss. Woohyun starts to lead them towards the bedroom, rough kisses and rougher hands moving all over Sunggyu’s body, both men’s remaining clothing falling to the floor carelessly. Sunggyu hits his hip on the doorframe as they stumble into the room and the pain gives him a brief escape from the fog of lust, allowing him to take control, pushing Woohyun onto the bed first. Affection blooms in Sunggyu’s chest as he looks down at the tousled man. Woohyun’s lips are swollen, his eyes glassy, hair sticking up in every direction and his tanned skin is flushed and glistening with a faint layer of sweat. Sunggyu catches his breath as he contemplates slowing things down from the urgent and frantic speed Woohyun has been moving with up until that point. Sunggyu feels calm now, like he has his entire life to explore the man in front of him, which is ironic. He had been the one to put a stopper on their timeline after all. Sunggyu gently climbs onto the bed, kneeling between Woohyun’s outstretched legs. There’s a light spark in Sunggyu’s fingertips as he draws them across prominent collarbones, over defined shoulders and biceps, pressure increasing slightly until his hands are wrapped around Woohyun’s wrists. Sunggyu leans down and presses his nose and lips into the edge of his wrist, can feel Woohyun’s pulse thrumming through the delicate skin. Sunggyu presses kisses to each of Woohyun’s palms before moving back up to the pulse point at the base of Woohyun’s jaw, right next to a small mole that Sunggyu has always adored. He continues pressing hot lips against salty skin, mapping out each part of Woohyun’s body, hoping that touch and scent will be enough to cement this night in his memory, have a piece of Woohyun to carry with him into the next part of his life. Woohyun’s breaths are coming short and fast by the time Sunggyu has moved down his chest, past his leaking cock and onto his thighs. Large hands run up and down Woohyun’s thighs and calves before withdrawing all touch completely, trigging a whine from the overwhelmed boy underneath him. Sunggyu looks up at Woohyun’s face and quickly busies himself moving towards the bedside table for some lube because that task is something he can deal with, unlike the tears that he just saw glinting on soft cheeks. Once Sunggyu has the bottle of lube in his shaking hands he hesitates, he has returned to thinking that this is an awful idea and is only going to hurt Woohyun more. “You can’t get me worked up like this and then just stop, Hyung.” It’s uncanny sometimes how Woohyun knows exactly what he’s thinking. “I’ve stopped cryi-…. I’m ok now. Please?” Woohyun speaks with embarrassment lining his words. He was telling the truth, has stopped crying when Sunggyu moves back onto the bed, already slicking up his fingers and pressing against Woohyun’s thighs to open them wider. He mouths at Woohyun’s strong thighs for a moment before simultaneously wrapping his mouth around Woohyun’s cock and pressing the first slender finger in. Sunggyu continues like this until Woohyun is squirming underneath him, hands no longer resting against Sunggyu’s jaw, but tugging on his hair to pull him off and signal that he’s close. When Sunggyu pushes into Woohyun’s tight heat, one arm is wrapped around the underside of his thigh, the other cradling the side of his face. The emotions swimming in Woohyun’s eyes in that moment are unreadable as they lay against each other, sharing breaths. Sunggyu waits for Woohyun’s hips to press up before he starts moving gently but he still can’t take his eyes off the other man. It’s bittersweet and overwhelming as Sunggyu sets a faster pace once Woohyun is ready. Hips and skin slapping against each other as Sunggyu initiates a deep and tender kiss. When Sunggyu pulls back with the taste of Woohyun on his tongue, Woohyun’s eyes are as clear as day: anger radiating out of the warm brown. The mood shifts so suddenly that Sunggyu is left feeling dizzy.Woohyun’s hands which had been lightly gripping Sunggyu’s ribs move and press roughly against Sunggyu’s back, nails raking down his spine. It’s dangerously close to crossing the border from pleasurable to painful, but the real sting comes from the words suddenly spat into his ear. “Every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s spine I hope you feel it.”Sunggyu feels the smaller hands move to his chest and shove Sunggyu away. He slips out of Woohyun and finds himself tossed over onto his back, the smaller man’s immense strength showing for the first time that night. Woohyun wastes no time straddling Sunggyu and sinking down on his dick again. Woohyun picks up an unrelenting pace and Sunggyu thinks how much he loves this sight. Woohyun’s strong thighs lifting his defined body, head thrown back in ecstasy. Right now though, Woohyun is refusing to look at Sunggyu and guilt is starting to sit heavy in his limbs. It’s clear that Woohyun just needs to reach his climax as he places a small hand against his own shaft, pumping quickly with desperation. Sunggyu’s hands are batted away when he tries to reach up and help. Sunggyu gets the message and tightly grips Woohyun’s hips, his own moving upwards forcefully to meet Woohyun’s fast pace. When Woohyun comes messily across Sunggyu’s stomach with a broken sob, the tight and hot clenching on his own dick is enough for Sunggyu to topple over the edge as well. Woohyun collapses next to Sunggyu, breaths coming harsh and fast. Sunggyu’s still reeling from the whiplash he experienced from the affection he was feeling before Woohyun’s anger permeated the room. Sunggyu’s skin itches with guilt, wondering if the indulgent exploration he selfishly took was too much for Woohyun’s broken heart to handle. Sunggyu regrets letting himself get so caught up in his own emotions that he forgot that he was the one to end their relationship and whatever pain he was in must pale in comparison. The bed dips as Woohyun moves closer, swinging a leg over Sunggyu’s hip and resting his head on his chest. The familiarity of the action pulls Sunggyu from his thoughts and makes his breath come faster than his recent physical exertion did. Woohyun always needed to cuddle after sex, a way to bridge the gap between being as physically close as two people can get and the inevitable separation. Sunggyu used to secretly love it and would look forward Woohyun’s hot weight on his chest as their limbs intertwined together tightly. Their current position is a harsh contrast to those happier times. Sunggyu’s arms lay limply by his side, pride, guilt and confusion refusing to let him lift them and cradle the fragile man in his bed. “What are you doing?” Sunggyu impatiently asks, shoulder jerking in an effort to shake Woohyun off. “I’m listening to your heartbeat” is the reply, voice laced with more hostility than Sunggyu expected. Woohyun pauses then, his small hand painfully digging into Sunggyu’s shoulder almost hard enough to break skin. “I’m just checking that you’re still alive.” Woohyun mutters, grip loosening and then “You… are... a... liar.” is spoken into the room, tapped out to match the pattern of Sunggyu’s heartbeat. “I’m a what?” Sunggyu returns with a confused frown pulling at his eyebrows. “You promised you’d hold me until you die.”The silence that fills the room is suffocating. Sunggyu is too shocked to move and despite the sting in his eyes and ache in his ribs he doesn’t move as Woohyun slowly sits on the edge of his bed. Watches with shaken breaths as Woohyun collects the few clothes that were in the room and walks out without saying another word, the line of his shoulders slumped. An hour later as the sky softens with daybreak Sunggyu rolls over in bed still unable to sleep. He finds himself pressed onto cold sheets that only exist when you sleep alone. His arms feel empty as he tugs a spare pillow against his chest. The sting of disappointment and regret in his stomach makes him feel queasy. Sunggyu thinks that maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to break promises.