Work Text
Quick Note: To see all artwork for this story and upcoming stories please follow my Instagram @ashlynn_montgomery_ao3Pain. That was all I could feel. Pain from what they did to me. Pain from the parts of me they touched. Pain that their words as they did unspeakable acts. Pain from the fact that there wasn't a single person who could save me. *~*~* "Alya it's going to be fine," I assured my best friend for the millionth time. "I've walked home from your house at least a billion times in the last 2 years we've known each other. You don't have to stay on the phone as I walk home." *~*~* I should have listened to her. *~*~* "Alright girl," she said with a final sigh," but if anything happens you better call me immediately!" "I will Alya. See you at school tomorrow." "Okay goodnight Marinette and Happy 16th Birthday! I'll see you at school to talk more about your party on Friday." "Thank you Alya. Goodnight." *~*~* I'm a super hero for goodness sake. I should have been more aware of my surroundings. I never should have just brushed my suspicions under the rug. And I never should have left Tikki at home for what I thought would be a calm night of hanging out with my friends. *~*~* "Almost home," I said to myself as I continued walking down the street. Just as I took the next step I felt the hairs on my arms rise. I paused my walking for a moment and took time to listen, but when I heard nothing I kept walking. The sharp cry from my phone, that told me I had a message, scared me and I dropped my bag and let out a gasp before placing my hand on my heart to calm it down. Once it was I bent down and started to put my things back into my bag before I stood up with my phone to see that my sister Bridgette has been the one to message me. Big Sis: Hey sis! Are you almost home? Mom and Dad are panicking a bit. I started to message her back that I was only a block away but I never got to send that message because halfway through several black gloved hands reached out and grabbed me. One around my mouth, to silence my screams, and others all over me to drag my back into the abandoned building that was six buildings behind me. *~*~* I fought back as hard as I could. I tried my best to get away. I guess it didn't matter how hard I fought though. *~*~* As I was being dragged into the dark room I noticed one of the men had a tattoo on his wrist. The Chinese symbol for evil. That was all I could see before I was thrown to the ground, hitting my head so hard that I began seeing triple of everything and found it hard to move when they started strapping me to the poles in the ground. I felt powerless and helpless. I knew what they were going to do and there wasn't anything I could do to stop them. The only thing I could do is close my eyes and pray that someone would save me before it was too late. That prayer went unanswered. *~*~* You always hear the most horrifying stories about what happens to girls. You always hear how humans can be so cruel to each other. You just never think that it could happen to you until it does. You don't know the pain and scars that are left behind until you have them yourself. *~*~* Numb. Denial. Fear. That was what I felt as I sat in a hospital bed the next morning as I stared at the wall in front of me. The machines around me constantly beeping. My family stood outside of the room talking with the doctor. I could hear what they were saying. "Your daughter was brought in a few hours ago unconscious and unclothed. One of our doctors noticed her body laying in the shrubs outside the hospital as she was leaving. There was severe bruising and internal bleeding as well as severe head trauma. We had to rush her into surgery as soon as we could and she only woke up an hour ago. Your daughter is lucky to be alive considering the hell they put her through. We believe that she'll suffer from PTSD in the coming months and possibly years. When she came to we had to sedate her because she was screaming at the nurses when they tried to move her back to her bed. She was holed up in the corner of the room and wouldn't let anyone near her without trying to harm them." "Was she-" My sister didn't need to finish her question, because she already knew the answer from the look on the doctors face. I didn't look at the window, but I could feel their stares through the glass. I could feel the four pairs of eyes staring at me. "She's asked to be left alone until further notice but the police will be here soon and will want to talk to her. They will sit on the other end of the room, away from her. Then once they leave you'll be allowed in but keep in mind what she's been through. It;s not easy to go through traumatic experiences and come out without it having changed you." "Thank you Doctor Stevens." *~*~* What do you do when your whole life changes in the blink of an eye? What do you do when men degrade you in some of the most vile ways possible and beat you until you pass out? What do you do when you remember the sadistic looks in their eyes as they rape you and cover your mouth so you can't scream? I screamed until my throat was raw and I couldn't. Even as I sat in the hospital bed, hair resting on my shoulders and covering my face like curtain, loose and messed up with dirt and blood throughout my dark black locks, bruises and cuts all over my face and body, my left eye almost completely shut, I could barely speak above a whisper because my throat was raw and my vocal chords were strained from the amount of screaming I had done. *~*~* After the police had left my family came into the room. My mother, father, Bridgette my sister and her fiance Felix all piled into the room and sat at a distance that they felt would make me feel more comfortable, but Bridgette sat in the chair next to me and though it made me slightly uncomfortable I knew that she would never hurt me and I felt a little safer with her next to me. We all sat in silence before Felix spoke up. "I know how you feel," he said looking me straight in the eye. "My family life growing up was horrible. I was a result of rape myself and my mother made sure to remind me everyday just how much she hated me. She would beat me and lock me in a room for days without food before she opened the door to let me out. What was worse was the constant drugs she was on and the countless men she let into our home." In the 2 years I had known Felix I had never heard him talk about his past, or even himself. He was always so closed off and silent to the point where I always used to wonder how he and Bridgette would work but as time passed parts of him came out. His cold exterior to anyone but my sister started to melt away and though he was still a bit closed off at times he began to talk more and smile more. He started to become a new person, and it was obvious that he loved my sister. You could see that they brought out the best in each other. You could see how she helped him come out of his shell while he mellowed her out. But this Felix was the man I had first met those years ago when my sister first brought home her new boyfriend. "I had nightmares of what they would do to me. Even after they had left me alone and barely conscience I knew that nothing I did could change the way they had treated me. Nothing would change what I had been through. It wasn't until my 8th birthday that I was freed from that prison. I remember the police storming the house while my mom was in the room with some guy and I was in the other with his friend over my, choking me while he abused me. I was in and out of conscientiousness as they carried my limp body to the ambulance. When the doctors came in I fought them to the point where they had to sedate my because I was a danger to myself and others. When I was released I was sent into a foster system that I was told would keep me safe and protected. Despite what they told me I wasn't safe. I was in and out of homes for years. Some actually were safe, but the families I was placed with didn't want damaged goods. Other homes I was placed in were just like the one I had grown up in and I went through the silent pain everyday I was in those homes, the only difference being how the home looked to someone who didn't know what was going on inside. When I turned 18 I was thrown out into the world on my own with no direction to go. About 6 days later is when I met your sister," he said as he walked over and sat me in the chair next to Bridgette. "I was working as a janitor for the cafe down the street from the school we both went to and living in an apartment that didn't meat the standard code. Despite how hard I tried to get her to leave me alone she didn't. She became my friend and eventually told her everything and she listened. She was there for me through everything and I grew to love her but didn't think that she loved me back until she asked me out. Then she introduced me to your family and I was stunned because I didn't know what a family was supposed to look like. I was taken back from your fathers gigantic bear hug and your mothers kindness. I was taken back by the loving relationship you and Bridgette because every sibling I had when growing up in the system hated me. Now as I look back I see that what I went through was hell, but trust me when I tell you that just as easily as the wrong people can make you fear living, the people close to you, the ones who take the time to care for you and know you, can make life worth living again." I looked at my parents, who had moved from the sofa they were on to the edge of my bed by my feet, and saw them smile softly at me before I turned back to Felix before finally looking at my sister. I realized that I was so afraid that they would look at me differently but as I looked at them now all I could see is how much they loved me. I still didn't want to be around anyone, but the two I felt closest to were my sister and her fiance, one because he shared me pain an the other because I knew she would never let anyone hurt me again. For the first time since I woke up I felt like I could let someone close to me. For the first time I felt safe. "Please don't leave," I whispered as I scooted closer to my sister. Slowly I felt her arms wrap around me and as mush as it hurt I was afraid to leave them. *~*~* It's a strange feeling, to know that no matter what happens to you there will always be someone there for you after you've walked through the flames of hell and survived. It's strangely comforting to know that someone close to you knows what you've been through and can help you, even if what you've both been through is something you never could imagine. *~*~* "WHERE IS SHE?!" I knew that voice anywhere, even though I knew she wasn't alone. It was the same voice I tried to reassure over the phone. That voice belonged to my best friend and from what I could tell she was pissed. But that voice was what made the damn break. That voice made it all feel real and as I pulled my knees to my chest, the pain I had tried to shut in, both physical, mental and emotional, came crashing down on me. Until I had heard her voice I hadn't cried. I had told myself that this was all just a bad dream and I would wake up son knowing I was safe and okay. Now the pain and memories were rushing over me so fast I couldn't control the tears as they rushed down my face. I was just grateful that Felix was there to pet my hair, in attempts to try and calm me down, and Bridgette was there to hold me as my body trembled as I cried. In the 3 days since I had been here they had never left my side and stayed in a small mattress at night when I finally closed my eyes. They were there to calm me down when I woke up screaming from the nightmares and they were there to calm me down when the doctors came to check on me, seeing as I was still scared of people that weren't related to me coming close. They were there for me through everything and even though I was afraid to talk, that and my vocal chords were still healing so the doctor recommended I didn't speak unless necessary, I told them what I remembered before blacking out. "Alya you need to calm down. Right now you'll do more harm to her than good," my father scolded. Never in all my 16 years of life had I heard him so on edge. "What are you talking about," Alya asked as she stopped. I couldn't hear how he explained what had happened because a sob wracked through me as I thought of the night I last heard her voice. The memories came back tenfold and I couldn't stop them. I started to fight Bridgette and Felix and I didn't stop until the nurse put the needle in my arm and I fell back asleep. *~*~* The worst part of going through hell is the memories and scars you're left with. Even though you're safe and out of harms way, you will never be able to forget the evil that follows you everyday. *~*~* I nearly fell off of my bed when I heard the foot steps climbing ether ladder to my bed. I hadn't slept a wink since I got discharged from the hospital and I hadn't left my room either. I just sat in here looking out the window or laying in my bed staring at my blank walls. Walls that used to be filled with designs and photos of my best friends and i had been taken down when I was in the hospital and my parents saved them in a box for me in my closet. It honestly felt good to have them down because every time I looked at their faces, the faces of the ones I loved, I would go back to that night and remember what had happened all over again. Most times it got so bad that I would have a panic attack and pass out. I wasn't eating or sleeping because when I ate anything my body would reject it and throw it up. When I slept I had nightmares that lead to panic attacks and eventually to me passing out from exhaustion. For the first two weeks since that accident I kept going from the hospital to home and back because things got so bad. During my panic attacks I would claw at my chest, arms, and legs to the point where I would draw blood. I wouldn't let anyone but Bridgette and Felix within 10 feet of me and even then was punching it when I had one. When I first came home and saw Tikki I couldn't let her get close. She knew what had happened to me when my parents had come first the first day. She was patient and kind and after a week and a half I was okay with her sitting on my shoulder and just being there for me. Of course she would have to hide when I had the attacks because my family would run up here. I didn't like the way my life was playing out. I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror when I passed it in my room. I would start screaming and crying at myself and eventually threw my hair brush at it and broke it. My parents cleaned it up while Bridgette and Felix helped patch up the cuts the glass had left on me. I wasn't even getting ready myself anymore. Instead Bridgette and my mom would have to help bathe me again as if I was a toddler and then would help me get dressed and brush my hair. By now word had gotten out around the school and now either Alya, Nino, or Adrien brought my school work to the bakery and my parents would give it to Bri or Felix who would help me learn it and figure out the work. In a way, I had become a shell of who I was and didn't know what to do. *~*~* Perhaps one of the worst parts of going through such a big change in your life is the way people see you. The pitiful looks they give you and the shame you feel inside leaves scars almost deep as the pain that was inflicted to you. Because you can't fix what you can't see and when the would keeps reopening and getting deeper each time it feels like it will never close. *~*~* I knew that I would have to let them in at some point. I knew that I couldn't stay shut off from the world forever, I simply wished I could. I wanted to push everything out and forget everything that happened but every single thing trigrams and it was becoming harder and harder to keep a sane mind while I felt like my grasp on life was slipping from between my fingers. I hesitated to agree when my parents brought up the fact that my classmates wanted to check up and see how I was doing. I didn't want any of them to see me the way I was because I was ashamed of who I had become. I didn't trust myself to be able to not get freaked out and have another attack and freak out because when I had them it was i fly and I knew that. I knew there were claw marks, bruises and scars still all over my body. Only one of those were my doing. My eye was still swollen but I could now see out of it and even though the bruising wasn't black and blue it was still green and yellow and made me self conscious. I let the idea of seeing them turn in my head for days going over the pros and cons. Every time I saw a good side there was at least 10 bad things that took it down. I wanted to tell my parents no but I'm the end I ended up saying yes to seeing my "G.F.'s" as Alex called us, but Bridgette and Felix has to stay with me and they had to sit at least 10 feet away. The next day when Alya came bursting through the hatch up to my room Felix had to calm her and the others down while Bri calmed me down. I didn't look at any of them at first, I felt humiliated as they looked me over and saw the scars and bruises. My knees were under me and my arms were around Bri's, which were around me, as she calmed me down. None of us talked for a while, we just sat there looking at each other. Well more like them looking at me and me looking anywhere else. "What did they do to you girl," Alya spoke first. Just like when I had first woken up, her voice sent a trigger through my brain and shocked the hell out of me. The only difference now was that her voice cracked with every word and you could hear the emotion her voice. When I finally looked at them I saw their tears. I saw their shock as they stayed there and just looked at me and then at each other. Seeing them look at each other is what set it off for me. I broke down and after a few seconds I was screaming again with Bri holding me and Felix trying to calm me down. My parents took the girls out of the room and made takes to them in the bakery. When I woke back up I noticed that it was night time and there was a vase of flowers next to a card on my desk. When I picked it up and read it I was shocked to see it was from Master Fu. Apparently he had made it known to Chat Noir that I would be gone for a while and found a way to trap akumas while I was away. I was concerned at first because, even though I trust the cat with my life, fighting a villain on your own is hard. Fortunately Master Gu also wrote that Carapace, Rena Rouge and Queen Bee we're all helping him out and they were all fighting together. It made me upset that I couldn't help them, but I knew if I went out there like this I would do more harm them good. *~*~* The small moments where we allow ourselves to do something brave are often the most terrifying moments of our lives. I knew I was pushing my personal limits but I was going crazy sitting in near solitude in my room. I wanted a taste of freedom in a place I thought was safe. *~*~* After having a serious conversation with my sister and our parents about how i wanted to do things there was only one clear answer for me. As painful as it would be for me to make the right decision I knew it was what had to be done. Even if I felt like I was dying inside I knew I needed help. As I sat on my balcony chair with my blanket wrapped around my significantly smaller frame I couldn't help but feel slight more at ease as the cool night breeze hit my skin. It felt refreshing to see the stars again in front of me and not through the skylight above my bed. For just a minute I allowed mutton close my eyes and block literally everything out. It wasn't until I heard leaves crunching that I opened them again. In the 5 seconds I had I grabbed the broom from beside me as well as my tea pot and after hurling the tea pot at the person who was climbing my rose wall I realized there were a pair of familiar cat ears peaking up and over the railing. Still keeping my broom ready to swing I stepped as far back as I could as I watch the familiar black cat make his way into my balcony railing where he seated himself in a very catlike crouch. His eyes were weary of my movements but I could tell he could see some scars and bruises that the small, dim balcony light showed. "I'm not here to hurt you princess. Just wanted to check up on you." When he climbed off the railing and Rita step towards me I sucked in a harsh breath as tears welled in my eyes and I stumbled back onto my chair with the broom being the only thing keeping him at a distance. Strangely I felt as safe around him as I did with Bri and Felix, so after a few minutes of thinking it through I set the broom down and my blanket back around my lower body. I watch carefully as he sat on the other chair next to mine, even if it was still a good hard away. "How are you holding up? That's a stupid question but it's all I got so far." I stared at him for a moment, debating on whether or not I should answer. I hadn't talked to anyone but my family since that night and even then I barely spoke to my parents, only Bridgette and Felix. After careful thinking I opened my mouth and spoke. I finally let myself tell someone I knew how I really felt. "Horrible. I can't stop reliving it no matter how many times I try. I have panic attacks every day so bad that I end up passing out but I can't sleep without having nightmares about that night and the cycle continues. I can't keep down any food or drinks and I can't have anyone within 10 feet without breaking down in screams. I'm afraid to leave my room so I stay there. Coming out here tonight was so frightening and when I heard you coming up the vines i nearly had a panic attack until I saw your cat ears." "You didn't though." "I'm actually surprised that I told you all that. I haven't talked to anyone since that night, I barely say 3 words to my parents a day and I only am able to be close to my sister and her fiancé and even then I don't talk to them as much as I am now." "Well I feel honored Purr-incess." The giggle that left my lips even shocked the hell out of me. It was the first time I had smiled or even laughed in a while. *~*~* It's a good feeling when someone you know can make you feel better just by listening. The only downside is having to lie to a loved one. Especially when you're in denial of the reality that your situation is worse than you ever thought it could get. It was time for me to tell the truth. *~*~* "Good evening Princess," Chat greeted as he usually did. His smile usually would make me smile too, but what I was about to do was stopping me from smiling. "Hey Kitty." Come on Marinette you can do this! "Princess," he asked clocking his head to the side as he sat by me. "What's eating you?" "I'm going away for a bit Chat," I finally admitted. "Everything here is too hard. I need to go away. I need to talk to someone other than you and my family about these problems. I need to get better for myself and others." "But why do you have to do that somewhere else," he asked as he stood up. "Why can't you get the help you think you need here?" I absent-mindedly fiddled with my fingers as tears welled up in my eyes. "You know how on the news they said they caught some of the guys that-," I had to stop. I couldn't say it out loud. "What about it," he asked angrily. "The way they found it was from DNA that they left on me," I said quickly. "Like saliva or hair? Skin under your nails," he asked, but i could see that he was starting to understand. "The evidence they left was inside me," I admitted for the first time out loud. "It's why I haven't been able to stomach anything and why I pass out when I get stressed. The doctors told us that it may not have stuck since they had beat me so badly and because I'm so tiny but it doesn't seem to be going away. Even if it does I can't tie another bad memory to the place I call home. I have to get out of here." "So you're-" "Yeah." The truth was out there now. Even if no one but Chat Noir knew I was pregnant from one of the rapists, it felt somewhat freeing to get it it there. "What are you going to do," he asked after a while. "The medical center that my parents wanted to send me to is in China. It-" "China?!" "It's the closest one that specializes in cases like mine. As for he baby, I can't kill it, but I don't know if I could keep it either." As selfish as it sounded, I didn't think I could do it. This baby deserves a loving family who will I've and care for him/her and I'm in no position physically or mentally to do so. "So you're putting the baby up for adoption," he asked as he sat next to me. "Didn't you tell me your brother-in-law to be was part of that?" "He was part of the foster-care system and I don't want the baby to go through that so adoption is the next best choice," I stated. "I'll meet with social workers and meet with families who are trying to adopt before making my final decision with the social workers and then he or she will be able to officially adopt the baby." "What about your school and everything?" How long are you going to be gone?" "The program is for 6 months and everyone who has gone through it has been able to get out of there a hell of a lot better than they were before they went in. My parents went through an online tour to make sure it was safe. I leave first thing tomorrow morning. As for school they continue your education in the home and Bri and Felix will be coming with me while I'm out there. I'll miss this school year and hopefully be there for the next one." "Do your friends know? Have you told them," he asked as he looked over to me. "You and my family are he only people who know, the only people I can talk to," I confessed. "Every time I talk to them over the phone or in person it has to be quick because I get anxious and start panicking. Then the attacks come and I black out. My parents will tell them everything after I leave, well not about the baby." A beeping came from his ring signaling that he was about to transform back. "I have to go." "Goodbye Kitty." Before I knew what was happening he was wrapping his arms around me in a bone-crushing hug, and I wasn't afraid. I felt safe. "I'll see you 6 months from tomorrow," he whispered into my ear. "I'll be here." "So will I." *~*~* Leaving the people you love and going somewhere you know no one is hard. Having to give up a child that you may never get to see again is hard, even more so when you know you may never get the chance to have another one. *~*~* "Do you see them Tom?" I heard my parents before I saw them. They weren't the quietest Parisians, and I loved that about them. Finally being home after 6 months was like a breath of fresh air. After sitting in a plain seat for 11 hrs while being 8 months pregnant is hell. I was ready to pop at any minute and my back was extremely sore from being up straight the whole flight. I had to use the bathroom all the time and I couldn't eat half of what was on the menu the flight offered. Being back home with my family felt different, but instead of a bad different it felt safer. It almost felt normal. "There they are Tom!" "You made it!" "Of course we made it dad," Bridgette said. "Did you think we wouldn't?" "Well we weren't sure if they would let Marinette on the flight considering she's bye any day now," my mom laughed. "You try being pregnant and on a plane for 11 hours," I joked back at her. "Plus I got checked out before I left and my files were all sent over to Dr. Stevens and she okayed me to fly as long as I take it easy afterwards." "Well I'm just glad my babies are home safe," my father said. "You seem to be doing a lot better sweat heart." It was true, I was doing better. I was standing in an airport of strangers and I felt calm. I wasn't looking over my shoulder anymore or freaking out. I still had mild anxiety but it wasn't as bad as the years before where I couldn't be around anyone. I felt like the old me, but with new modifications that made me stronger. "I feel better but I would feel a whole lot better if we could keep walking. My ankles are killing me." After they all laughed at me as I walked to the parking lot we got in the car, of course I laid across the 3 seats in the back, we headed back to the old bakery. I almost wasn't able to fit through the hatch to climb up so after I cleaned out and unpacked my stuff I decided to go back downstairs and get a bowl of strawberries and some popcorn before heading back up to my room to watch a few movies. What I didn't expect to see was my old classmates waiting in the bakery when I went down to grab the strawberries. *~*~* Lies only last so long and the more you tell the faster they are to catch up with you. I knew I was in for a whirlwind of craziness, I just didn't know what to expect. *~*~* As I sat quietly in the living room upstairs with my class I knew they were all confused as to what had gone on while I was gone. Having Bri, Felix, and my parents sitting on the big couch with me I still felt a little unsure of how this was going to go. "What the hell is going on here," Alya asked. I could hear the hurt in her voice. It made me feel guilty for not telling her. "When 'Nette was still in the hospital they found remains of the men that abused her inside of her," my mother explained. "I think we can see that," Chloe snapped. "Anyway," Bri said in a harsh tone. "Marinette was in such bad shape that they didn't know if it would take or if she would even be able to have kids again. Things were bad for her before she left. Her vocal chords were strained and still kind of are but she wasn't able to keep anything down and was passing out after panic attacks on top-" "Whoa hold up," Nino said as he got up," no one said anything about this to us." "Because I asked them not to," I finally spoke up with my fists clenching the blanket on my lap. "I asked them not to tell you the extol it because I didn't want to worry you further. Alya when you girls came to see me you saw a fraction of how bad it was but it was so much worse." My voice was cracking now. I felt the tears falling and I couldn't stop them. "When I found out about the baby I was already a month and a half along. I couldn't kill the baby but I didn't think I could keep it ether. The plan was to give the baby up for adoption and move on with my life as I went back to school." "What changed," Kim asked as he uncrossed his arms and sat up straighter. "Bri," I nudged her, asking her to tell them. Instead it was Felix who spoke up. "About a month ago we were walking around the garden at the center and Marinette passed out out of nowhere. She was bleeding quite a bit so we rushed her to the hospital." "They couldn't find the heartbeat," I said after a minute. "So the baby is dead," Nathaniel asked. "No, they found it after a few minutes. I spent those minutes thinking about how I had spent the whole time I had with him growing inside me hating myself and the sitting was in." "It's a boy," Juelika asked with a smile. "Yeah. I found out when they told me they could hear the little guy's heartbeat again." "So you're still giving t up or-" I could see the wheels turning in Rose's head. "I don't know yet. All I know is that for now I'm choosing to see this as a blessing rather than a tragedy," I confessed. "I still don't think I can take care of him the way he needs, but I'm also not sure if I have the heart to give him up when the time comes." "From the size and placement of your belly I'm guessing you won't have much longer until you find out. Your belly is a bit lower than usual and if my calculations are correct then you o my have a little over a week or two before he makes an appearance," Max said as he came up and touched my stomach before Alix pulled him down. "You can't just go up to someone and start feeling their baby bump dude. Uncool," she said. "It's fine Alix. He's actually not wrong," I stated. "Well whatever you decide we'll be here to support you," Mylene said as her arm went around Ivan's waist. "All of us will," Sabrina backed her up. "I know we've never been friends Dupain-Cheng," Chloe started as she got closer," but I'd like to change that." "Awe you guys," I said as I started crying more. All of a sudden we were all in a group hug. Looking up at all of my classmates and my family I knew that I would have the strength to push through whatever my decision was. *~*~* The support people give matters. If given positively, it can make everything feel okay. If negative, it can ruin everything. *~*~* He's not going to come. I rolled my eyes at the voice in my head as I looked at the clock on my wall. 10:30 pm I let out a deep sigh before jumping in fear when I heard a tapping on my skylight. Stepping on the edge of my bed I opened the hatch and sat with my back to the head board as the clad, black superhero dropped down from the sky. After a moment of just staring at each other he sat indian style and looked at the bump with his signature smirk. "How's the baby doing Purr-incess," he asked. His hair was slightly longer and shaggy as always and his features were a bit sharper than they had been, but nothing else had changed. "Already with the puns Kitty," I asked laughing. "It has t even been a minute yet." After a few seconds we bursted into laughter. Once we were calm he crawled up the bed a bit more and looked at me, as if asking for permission before I nodded and he placed his hands on my belly. It was that examine t that the baby decided to send a hard kick against Chats gloves hand, causing me to gasp and Chat to move his hands. "What was that," he asked in a scared tone. "That my kitten was the strongest kick I have ever felt from him," I said astonished. Placing my own hands against my stomach I waited for him to kick again, but nothing came so after a while I grabbed Chat's hand and moved t around until he kicked again. Hard. "Oh my god," I whispered as tears began to form in my eyes. "Dang he seems strong," Chat said breathlessly. "Looks like Hugo likes you Chat," I said without registering what I had said. Before I had a chance to register what I said the baby kicked again. "Hugo?" Looking back up at those familiar green eyes I furrowed my brows, not understanding what he was talking about. "You just called he baby Hugo," he clarified. "Does that mean you're keeping him after all?" "I don't know," I whispered. "It's not like I haven't thought about it before. I'm just not sure that I can give him everything needs." "What he needs is someone who will love him without failure. Someone who will be there through the bad times and the good. Someone to listen to him when he's upset and tell him everything will be okay. Someone who no matter what happens in his life, will be there to fight for him," Chat said looking at me seriously. "If that person is you Mari then he's right where he should be. Plus it won't just be you. You have your friends and family here for you. You have me also." Without warning I launched at him and wrapped him in a great big bear hug, which made the baby kick my stomach a few times. When I let go I had to wipe away tears. "When did you get so wise Kitty," I asked with a sniffle. "Right around the time my friend needed me to be," he said before his ring beeped. "I've got to go princess and I've got work for the next few days but I'll be back my Firday. I promise." "See you then Kitty," I whispered before he jumped back onto the roof and disappeared into the night. *~*~* It's a scary thing to thing about when you'll have a child. Even scarier when you're in the moment... *~*~* "No," I told Alya as I sat down with my bowl of popcorn. "There's no way!" "Yes there is," Rose said. Currently, all of us girls were sitting in the living room on Jewlika's house boat watching Tangled. He doctors recommended that I start getting more exercise by walking around outside. Today I decided to walk down to Jewlika's house for a girls night. Bridgette was supposed to come get my at 11 and it was currently 10:30. "Mari think about it," Chloe said. "If she can heal Eugene with her tears she should be able to heal others with them too!" "Just because it worked once doesn't mean it always will," Sabrina said. Suddenly I felt the baby kick my lower stomach and hanged Alix the popcorn before asking Alya for help getting up. "Alya I have to pee. Can you help me get up." "Sure thing girl." 10:35 pm As soon as I was up straight I felt liquid rushing down my legs and straight onto the floor. Everything went quiet for a minute and no one said anything until Alya spoke up. "Did you just-" "I don't think so." "Does that mean-" "I think so." "Are you having any contractions?" "Not ye- mmmm" I couldn't even get my sentence out before I felt a wave of pain hit me. "MOM, LUKA!" "Someone call the ambulance," Rose shouted. "I'm already on it," Alix said. Meanwhile Chloe and Alya were helping me move to the steps as Sabrina and Mylene worked to pick up the bag I had brought and stuff my things back in. "Just breath Marinette you're going to get through this," Alya said as the sirens came into hearing range. 10:45 pm As everyone was running around I was leaning against the wall in pain while Chloe ties my hair up in a loose bun. I was thankful that we set our differences aside and were able to become friends. As soon as another contraction hit I felt myself being lifted by to strangers and being carried up the stairs to the top of the boat, and eventually placed down on the gurney as they hooked machines to my to provide fluids as well as pain meds for the drive. 11:10 pm "I've already called your parents dear. They're on their way to the hospital with your sister," Jewlika's mother said as she and Alya got into the ambulance. 11:20 pm I was met by my parents as soon as I got to the hospital. "She's already fully dilated," I heard someone say. "She needs to start pushing now or we could lose him." "Bri, Alya," I whispered, letting them know that I wanted them to be there with me. "We'll be right there girl just focus on bringing that baby into the world," Alya said as she and Bridgette went to get cleaned. 12:05 am After 45 minutes of pushing, since the baby began to come out feet first, I finally felt the pressure let up and heard a cry flood the room. "Congratulations Mamma," the doctor said. "You have a healthy baby boy." As I looked I saw a the tiniest human baby all purple and covered in blood whiles screaming as they cut the chord and placed him on my chest. He's beautiful. "You did it girl," Alya said over the screaming and doctors moving around to wipe the fluids off the baby. I didn't hear anything she said though. 12:09 pm I couldn't hear the doctors rushing around the room to get things ready. All I could see and hear was the baby on my chest. My baby. "We need to get him in an incubator and get him cleaned off," the doctor said as she took him off my chest. "Where are you taking him," I asked. "His kings are weak right now. He'll need to stay in the NICU over night so we can monitor him and if he's stable enough he'll be out by morning," the doctor said as they took the baby out of he room. "Bri go with him please," I said weakly. "You got it sis," she said before running out of the room. "You need to rest up Ms. Dupain-Cheng," a nurse said as she checked the mackinaw next to me. "You did an amaze job but your body is weak and you need to get all the rest you can if you want to be able to see the baby again. Your baby will be safe." "You can go to sleep Nette," Alya said. "We'll be here when. You wake up." 12:15 pm Believing the words they said I let my eyes close as I drifted off. *~*~* The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that the sun was out. The second thing I noticed was the tiny coos coming from the corner of the room as the nurse coddled a tiny, beautiful baby. "Good morning Mamma Marinette. Would you like to hold your baby boy," she asked as she came closer with the baby. I wasn't sure what came over me but I nodded my head and held out my arms. As soon as he was in my arms I knew I couldn't let him go. I started sobbing as I stared at the tiny human in my arms that was staring up at me with bright green eyes and a little bit of dark black/blue hair. His hand came out of the blanket and I held it in my own, stilling as his fingers wrapped around my larger one. As I stared at him I knew 2 things for certain. 1: He was my baby. Despite what I went through I came out strong and managed to hold a tiny human inside of me for 9 months despite what the doctors told me. 2: I was never going to let him go As soon as I looked into his half shut eyes I knew I couldn't give him away. I was in love with him the minute they placed him on my chest but looking at him not I knew without a shade of a doubt that this is how things were supposed to be. I was supposed to have him with me. "I'll let your family in the room but remember only 4 people in at a time. We don't want to overwhelm you or the baby." A little while after she left the room another nurse came in to check my vitals and my family came in behind the doctor. "Look at you," my father said as a few years fell down his face. "My little girl." "The social workers wanted to know if you've made your decision about the adoption sweetheart," my mom said as she sat in the chair next to me. "We also need a name for the little fellow," Dr. Stevens added on. "His name is Hugo," I said looking up at him before turning to my parents and giving hem a smile. "My baby's name is Hugo Dupain-Cheng. This is my baby and is coming home with me." My sister let it a squeal and Felix smiles at me. "I'll go let them know as well as your friends in the waiting room," the doctor said as she left the room. "He's beautiful pumpkin," my mother said. "He was born at 12:05 am, Tuesday morning. Hesitate Little tinier weighing in at 4 and 3/4 pounds and 17 inches. The doctors were surprised he made it. His umbilical chord was tied in a knot." "He's a fighter," I whispered as Hugo fell asleep. "Just like his mother," Felix said. *~*~* Nothing can compare to the feeling of holding your child against your chest. It stills the world has changed it's orbit and everything holding you to the earth is your child. *~*~* "Why is it so dark in here," I asked my dad as we entered the apartment above the bakery we had always lived in. In the 2 days since Hugo was born I never or him down. His hand was always wrapped around my finger and his pacifier moved in his mouth as he stared up at me with his forest green eyes. I was completely in love with him and I wouldn't want it any other way. Upon turning on the light to the living room, everyone jumped out of their hiding spots and yelled," SURPRISE!!!" After calming Hugo down, since the sudden noise has scared him to the point of tears, I looked up to see a sign that said "Welcome Home" as well as food all over every surface and there were presents in the corner by the tv. "What's this," I asked as my dad took the diaper bag from my arm and I lead me further into the room. “It’s your baby shower duh,” Chloe said as she came up and hugged Hugo and I. “You guys I hate to break it to you but the baby’s already here,” I said sarcastically as I motioned to the cooing infant in my arms. “Got here two days ago.” “Yes we were there,” Alya said back in her sarcastic tone. “But,” Bri continued,” you weren’t sure if you were going to keep the precious angel so as soon as you decided to keep him me, Alya, Chloe and two other friends got to planning.” “Two other friends,” I asked curiously. “To answer that question we need to go upstairs,” Bri explained as she started to lead me upstairs followed by the girls. “Besides,” Chloe added,” you need to get out of those hospital clothes and I to something nicer. This is your party after all!” “Go ahead,” Rose squeaked as she and the others stood at the stairway. “We’ll be up after you!” Seeing as Bri, Alya and Chloe were already in the room I deemed it safe to enter. Upon entering he room my mouth dropped open in shock. Looking around the room I felt tears welling up. My desk and fashion related items had been moved up the stair where my bed used to be and my new bed was now against the right wall, leaving only the left side and foot of the bed as ways to get on it. The sheets were changed from the pink they once used to be to white with a floral pattern covering every surface. What floor space was left was now covered by a white fur rug i was sure was going to be destroyed as Hugo grew older. My vanity was in the same area but was repainted to a lighter grey and organized. My racks of clothes that I had in the corner of my room were right beside the vanity and my dresser was on the other side. My walls were painted a soft yellow color and there was a grey night stand by my bed to match my vanity and there was an addition added onto the frame of my bed so that Hugo could sleep right next to me. What stunned my though was the new grey wood crib and matching dresser across from my bed, not too far since my room was smaller. The inside the crib were a few stuffed bears and a small grey, red and white hunter themed doc-a-tot. A single blanket with Hugo’s name layers over the side of the crib. On top of the dresser was a changing pad and next to the dresser was a diaper genie. Looking back at the girls I felt a single tear run down my face. “You girls did this,” I asked quietly. “Actually this was the doing of your friends,” Alix said. “Can you be more specific please,” I asked irritated at this little game they seemed to be enjoying. All of a sudden a hand grabbed my ankle, causing me to jump and scream while hugging Hugo to my chest tightly. Once I heard a familiar chuckle I knew exactly who the culprit was. “Damn It Nino you can’t do that,” I scolded. “Especially when I’m holding Hugo!” The once calm baby was now wide always and fussy from being woken up so abruptly. As Nino rolled from under the bed I saw someone follow that I didn’t experience see. Someone who I’d barely talked to over the past 10 months. “Adrien? You and Nino did this,” I asked in disbelief. “We both wanted to do something nice for you and the little guy so we put our heads together and asked Nathalie what would look nice,” he said. “She and father send their congratulations by the way.” “Why did you do this,” I asked quietly, trying not to break down in tears. “You’ve walked through the flames of hell and survived Nette,” Nino said. “Not only did you survive but you pulled through everything with your head held high and managed to bring this incredible dude into our lives,” Adrien said as he reached forward and let Hugo’s head. “We wanted to let you know that we’re here for you no matter what and we thought that his may be a good place to start,” Nino finished. That’s when the flood gates bursted. “Damn you two fairy godmothers for Bri g so wonderful,” I laughed through the tears. “You’re not supposed to make a hormonal woman cry!” “Awe girl,” Alya said as she came up and hugged me. Next came Nino and Adrien and then all the girls. It felt good knowing that I wasn’t alone in this. “Okay I love you all but enough with the mushy stuff,” Chloe copped her hands together. “Boys out! We’ve got to get our Queen and prince ready for the day.” The boys left the room grumbling about being kicked out while we laughed at them. “You know she’s not going to put Hugo down right,” Mylene stared as they all lead me to my vanity area. “And she doesn’t have to,” Sabrina said. “Chloe and Rose will pick out her outfit, Bridgette and Alya will do hair and makeup, Rose and you will do nails, and Jewlika and I will be looking for an outfit for Hunter that sort of matches with his mother’s.” “What about me,” Alix exclaimed. “You will be quietly sitting in the corner not Messi g anything up,” Alya said, causing everyone to laugh. Sitting in my room with all my girls and my beaut baby boy in my arms was like heaven. For the first time in almost a year I felt as if everything was going to be ok. I couldn’t have asked for a better life than the one I was granted, despite the hiccups that came along with it. Quick Note: To see all artwork for this story and upcoming stories please follow my Instagram @ashlynn_montgomery_ao3