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It wasn't always like this, Hoseok remembered.There once was a time he knew how to appreciate and to be appreciated.There once was a time he didn't consider himself as a simple, dull human thingy on this planet.Now, he was in the middle of the busiest street in Seoul.
Alone.Again.
But the people rushing and running, not paying attention to the vast mystery of a world they called theirs, these people were at least as lonely as he was.And that's why he so liked to be there.Not doing much, really, just standing there, annoyingly staying there, for the people who were trying to get things done and get on with their day.
That's what Hoseok was to them, and that was how he wanted to be. An obstacle.Something that would force men and women to look up and observe.It wasn't always like that, he remembered.
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But for now, he was just alone. Again.After some time, Hoseok had developed a sort of routine out of this contemplation.After hearing his stomach growl, he would walk half an hour to the convenience store his friend worked at.He'd say hello Jin and Jin would answer Seok-seokie you're here again.Hoseok would smile at him, pick a box of instant ramen and a bottle of banana milk.
He'd sit between Unhappy Howard and Sad Sunhee. He would laugh and talk a lot with them.In these moments, Hoseok didn't feel that lonely.But eventually, Sad Sunhee would have to leave for work again, and Unhappy Howard would go to the arcades.Then Jin would leave the shop to his mean colleague and run to catch the bus going to the university.Hoseok then paid for Howard and himself and walked all the way back to his house.Alone, again.
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The walk to his flat from the convenience store was two hours and thirty-one minutes long.Hoseok didn't like to take the bus, or the metro. When he was surrounded by too many people, it reminded him of his loneliness.And usually at the end of the day, he would have had enough of it.Then at home, he made his own dinner, a healthy combination of vegetables, to compensate the ramen of lunchtime.
He ate, alone.
He watched television, alone.At around 11 pm, his two roommates came back from their date in a fancy restaurant.Jungkook and Jimin asked if he wanted to watch Netflix with them.Hoseok politely declined, he was too tired from walking too much and wanted to sleep.
He just didn't want to witness their make out session in front of the TV.From his bed, over the sound of the YouTube video he was watching, he could hear them both laughing.But there he was, in the darkness of his room, all quiet and tears streaming down his face.Hoseok, depressed. And alone.
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The next day, it was the same thing all over again.Jin asked if Hoseok was still considering taking a dance major at university.He said he wasn't sure anymore. He said he was scared that it wasn't the thing for him.
In fact, he could feel himself getting more and more insecure. About his body, about his supposed exuberant personality, and his hypothetical skills.The same day, Jungkook and Jimin asked if he wanted to come with them to the arcades, but once again, Hoseok refused.He knew if he had said yes, he would have crossed path with Unhappy Howard.He wouldn't want his friends to know about him.He wasn't exactly sure why, though.He was alone, that night.Again.But he didn't mind anymore. He liked to think about it all.
He couldn't sleep anymore.
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That day, for the first time ever, his routine was broken.Such a shocking event, when all your life is planned in advance.Usually, pedestrians would accidentally hit or push him, when he was in the street.It was a common thing, really, and a risk he had to take.There were some people who recognised him now, and who knew approximately where Hoseok was every day.These people would take a step aside and throw a little smile at him, sometimes.
That day, though, some sort of spirit or shadow had flown so fast by Hoseok, that he had easily lost his balance.He had fallen so hard on the butt, the impact had knocked all the air out of his body.He stayed a moment down, trying to retrieve his bearings.He took the hand that was spread in front off him, and got back on his feet.
Hoseok was frowning and rapidly realised that the spirit was doing the same thing.If you could call the young man in front of him a spirit. Which you certainly couldn't.For the second time in a few minutes, Hoseok couldn't breathe.Not breathing, but more alive than he had ever been before.
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"Oh shit, I'm really sorry, I wasn't watching, and..and you were just standing there, and.."The person was babbling his apologies, but Hoseok couldn't hear a thing.
There was a warm and mysterious wind enveloping them.He was certain that the person in front of him was waiting for any type of response, but he was being hypnotized by their eyes to the point he wouldn't be able to describe any of the person's other features.The man-spirit stopped blabbering all at once, when he realised Hoseok was not in his right state of mind.They stayed like that. Hoseok thought that the guy was good at just standing in the middle of a crowd.And he wished he could stare into these eyes forever.
Much to his dismay, the young man broke the eye contact, bending over to pick something that was on the floor."Ah I think this is yours" he said, and between his fingers, there was this little paper folded in two.The moment Hoseok took the paper, the person had disappeared.
And he was left alone, again.He stared at the content of his hand, biting his lip.The yellowish paper was soft under his digits.He opened it.Two words:'Boy meets ____'
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Boy meets...Boy meets what? Who?Hoseok's mind was running wild.Well, it
was
the biggest thing he had lived in months.8 months exactly, since the day he had quit Law School.He was alone though, and usually when he was, his loneliness was the only thing running through his brain.But that person...He wanted to see them again.Hoseok couldn't get their piercing eyes out of his head.Couldn't believe after a few minutes encounter, he hadn't seen the rest of the man's face.
And not thinking straight, he had forgotten about his timetable.He was not just one but two hours late to his usual lunchtime rendezvous.He ran, but along the way, though he knew it like the back of his hand, he had gotten himself lost.Now how could this day get any stranger, he thought.When he finally arrived at the convenience store, four hours and nine minutes late, he was sweating, tired and hungry.
As expected, Sad Sunhee and Unhappy Howard, as well as Jin had already left.He took a box of instant ramen, accidentally bought a bottle of strawberry milk, and sat.He ate slowly, deploring the fact that his loneliness had exceeded the daily quota he had settled.
Except this time, he was not alone.
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He was surprised to find out that the strawberry milk tasted better than the banana one.He made a little appreciative noise, holding up the bottle in front of his eyes."Is it better than the banana milk?"Someone said behind him.Hoseok being himself, got startled and half of the bottle leaked on his shirt."Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't think you'd react that bad!"The man was panicking, and holding his hands up in the air, like he didn't know what to do with them."No, no it's okay really! I didn't even like this shirt anyway!"Hoseok said, and the man frowned like he knew that he was lying.
It was his favorite shirt."Anyway, ummm, do I know you?"He wanted the awkwardness to go away, but he also wanted the man to stay."Oh right."
The man wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and presented the right one for Hoseok to shake.
"I'm Kim Namjoon. Hi!""Hi, I'm..."So apparently he was going to tell a complete stranger his full name, now."I'm Jung Hoseok, nice to meet you, Namjoon"
And when he took Namjoon's hand into his own, something within himself whispered that things were never going to be like it was before.And it was right.
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Namjoon was really smart.Also really clumsy, like he didn't understand how to use his arms.Hoseok liked him a lot, but he found it strange that the man seemed to know much more about him than Hoseok had said.Namjoon said that he came everyday here, around the time when Hoseok left, and that's how he knew about the banana milk.Still suspicious.They talked and talked and talked.Not always about funny things.
Hoseok admitted how much he wanted to dance, and Namjoon showed him his rap skills.He revealed that his stage name was Rap Monster.Never had Hoseok told so much about himself to anyone.And never had he made friends with someone so quickly.They exchanged numbers.
And they separated ways, waving at each other.He reached home at the time of the evening he was usually already in bed.That night, Hoseok was in such a good mood that he played Monopoly and ate snacks with Jimin and Jungkook, until dawn.
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Hoseok was starting to believe the encounter with the spirit-man had permanently shifted his way of living.He had stayed up so late the night before, that he hadn't been able to wake up this morning.He was a confused mess, and he had been having a hard time realising that maybe, maybe the man really was a spirit.
Hoseok knew they existed, his own sister had met one once, and never had she been the same since then.The legends say these creatures are so rare and beautiful, some people go crazy trying to find them.And that they exist to announce a turning point in your life.Hoseok was slightly uneasy, thinking he had just met a magical entity.So he stuck with the idea that this was just an hypothesis.
He really didn't want his life to change just yet.He had been living this way for so long, his loneliness had become his best friend.Getting rid of it would be like giving up his own heart.
He was comfortable, like this.
Laying on his bed.
Alone.
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Namjoon had been spamming texts non-stop, asking Hoseok to join him at the convenience store.Which Hoseok had done, after taking an eternity to get out of bed.He had never been so tired, it was like everything had been drained out of him.He put on his favourite casual clothes: he was maybe lonely, but not blind.Namjoon was super cute.
While making his way to the convenience store, he had been feeling lightheaded and slightly dizzy.Maybe it was because he hadn't gotten much sleep.But Hoseok knew, deep down, this had to do with them.
The spirit.He knew because there was this unusual presence in his chest, like his heart was beating for the first time.And everytime the event crossed his mind, which was a lot more than he would admit, some kind of thing would hit a nerve he never knew existed.And it made his body feel all empty.But extremely comfortable.And his face would transform until the bottom part of it would be filled with a huge, and genuine smile.And his heart would go even more crazy, which, in the end, would result in him being completely red-faced, and embarrassed.
Hoseok really didn't want to go crazy like all these people, but the more he had time to think about it all, the more he wanted to find that person, and stay with them forever.Unfortunately, there never was a case of a second encounter with a spirit, and clearly, Hoseok had no chance, really, he was unlucky and......AndThere......HeWas...It was him.
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Quite coincidentally, Hoseok noticed the boy at the exact same place he usually stayed to watch people, on the crowded street.He saw his eyes, first, and then a wave of surprise, relief, fear and confusion hit him right in the face.He was just on the other side of the road, a few meters away from him.In a second that lasted a hundred years, Hoseok drank in all the information he could from the boy.He was short and dressed in dark colors, and he had a frown on his face that covered all the beautiful things his eyes could tell.
He had mint hair.And then he was gone.But even Hoseok, who was fairly cowardly, knew that he just couldn't let that opportunity go.So he ran.He ran like death was right behind and coming for him.
And overall, even if he had gradually stopped working out, he was still really athletic and was actually having a good time.He was all sweaty and breathing heavily, but every time he caught sight of a mint green lock of hair, the effect was swift, he'd just go faster.He felt like flying and he just loved his body so much at that moment, because this was just so exhilarating.Hoseok could barely handle all the happiness and excitement that he was experiencing, when surely the God of Deception thought he would help.
And the God went like, fuck it Hoseok, you're going to kill yourself at that rate.And then Hoseok couldn't see the boy anymore.He had lost him.
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Hoseok had tears in his eyes when he realised that it was all over.What he had just had was probably a unique chance, something no one else had experienced.Even the idea of bragging about his incredible luck to his sister didn't help him feeling less devastated.All the adrenaline from before disappeared in an instant, and now Hoseok just felt exhausted and extremely sad.He decided he would still go to the convenience store, in hopes to find comfort in the company of his new-found friend.
Once he arrived and saw Jin hadn't left for the university, he realised it was Sunday.He didn't want to face Jin and his motherly instincts, especially not with the unstoppable tears running down his face.Luckily, Jin left in the backroom the moment Hoseok stepped in the store.Namjoon was standing over the drinks section.When he saw Hoseok, his smile turned into a look of concern.He practically ran towards him and they were in each others arms.
If Hoseok hadn't known better, he'd say they had been friends forever.Although the knowing look on Namjoon's face made Hoseok feel like there still was something off about him.Yet, as he expected, Namjoon was exactly what he needed to feel better.It was like he knew, Hoseok didn't want to talk about it and he'd rather be distracted from his heart trouble.So Rapmon bought two cans of beer, and simply told how his roommate was the new employee of the store and how Jin was showing him around.He said that the previous cashier, the rude one, had been fired after he was caught stealing in the cash register.
He said, Hoseok, you're going to love my friend, when I met you I knew you two would get along.Hoseok was intrigued.
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When Hoseok ended the conversation with Namjoon, he was both amazingly perked up and extremely determined.He had crept away like a thief in the night, afraid Jin would suddenly come back and spot him in a disastrous state.Namjoon seemed a bit disappointed he'd be leaving without meeting his friend.He felt a little bad, since Namjoon looked really excited about their meeting, but Hoseok really had a lot to do, now.
There were so many things he had to prepare, and so little time...Because it wasn't just a simple reflexion he had had during the time spent with his friend.It was a true enlightenment.He had understand that the game wasn't over yet.That he'd be damned before he'd give up all the hope for the better future this boy represented.And fuck, if he had to change everything to get his questions answers, then he would.
Spirits announce a turning point in your life, right.Then Hoseok would make such a u-turn, that boy's head was going to spin like never.
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"So, you started dancing again, I hear"Were the words Jin said to Hoseok, when he saw him for the first time in two months.So yeah, he had gotten back to the dance studio, that day he had seen the spirit.And the difference was obvious.
The new Hoseok was shining with that healthy glow you get when you're happy.Plus, he had regained all the muscles he had lost from the lack of physical activities.Namjoon and him, they'd spent nearly every waking minute together.Hoseok had invited him to his apartment (he hadn't been to Namjoon's yet, but it was a question of time), and introduced him to Jungkook and Jimin.They were quite shocked, to say the least, but had gotten along with the new friend just fine.
Then, Rapmon had been Hoseok's personal cheerleader, during all that time he spent preparing the coming dance audition for that special dance crew he had always wanted to join.The audition that was taking place...today.Hoseok thought the comforting face of Jin would give him the luck he needed.
And when he saw the warm and proud eyes of his friend, sending him off to possibly the greatest opportunity of his life, he felt that he'd be able to do anything.Then, in the waiting room, right before his turn, he received a text from Namjoon.
Flirt with the jury and u r certain to pass wink wink
amiright
Hoseok puffed and started to type back, when a deep melodic voice from the corner called:"Number 31, Jung Hoseok"
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Hoseok got up when he heard his name.A painful ball of stress made it hard to breathe easily, and he wondered if, maybe, it was still time to turn back.He entered the room, which was in all points similar to the one he usually practiced in.
Except that this time, there were three severe looking juges seated behind a table.And in front of them, turning his back to Hoseok, a mop of mint green hair.Well, that colour was unexpectedly popular."Can you please close the door, Suga?"Suga? The name was strange, but he had heard it before...Anyway, Mint Boy must have been the assistant or something, because he immediately turns around to obey, and bumps into Hoseok.Hoseok falls on the floor.Mint Boy -Suga- starts to apologize profusely, and gives his hand to help Hoseok back on his feet.They both freeze before their hands even touch.Hoseok swears, there's probably just as much surprise in the other boy's eyes than in his own, if not more.Time stops.So does Hoseok's heart.And so does this deeply hidden fear that he'd never see him again.
"Mister Hoseok? The audition is about to begin."
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Oddly enough, when the music stops, Hoseok doesn't remember a move he's just done.He doesn't even remember dancing at all, actually.The jury doesn't say a word, so Hoseok concludes that he has to leave the room for the next candidate.Suga must have left in the middle of his performance, and is nowhere to be found in the corridor, in the waiting room, or in the hall.
Hoseok leaves the studio, and all the regrets he's had about moving on from his old life has vanished.He knew this all was the right thing to do.Honestly, he doesn't even care about messing up his audition. He is just really eager to tell all the story to Namjoon.So he walks -or rather flies- all the way to the convenience store.He arrives and moves faster when he sees Namjoon standing near the checkout.
He then proceeds to run back as fast as the lightning when he realises that Jin is there too, and that he's currently French kissing with his friend.When he's certain that he's far enough, he finds himself quite perturbated by the previous sight.How did he not manage to see there was something between the two?He roams around the city, wondering when it is safe to come back without being traumatized a second time.For a moment, he's alone like he's not been for several months.
It feels good.
It feels unfamiliar.The cold air makes him shiver, and he puts his hands in his pockets.His fingers brush something.He takes it out.It's the paper. The one that read "Boy Meets_"
His eyes go big when he realises that if a spirit gave him this, then there might be a hidden message behind the two words.So, what is he going to meet?
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After a long walk around the city, Hoseok decided to just not come back to the convenience store that day.He needed time and maybe a full 10 hours nap to recover from his heart palpitations.At that point, having met thrice a creature he was supposed to never see in the first place, he wasn't that scared about not finding Suga again.
Actually, his only certitude was that he would, no matter what, find him.He felt light, knowing this, like his body was free of whatever was holding him back before.Once he finally calmed down, on his way to his apartment, his mind slowly started to analyse what had happened until now.He thought about Namjoon and Jin, and a little smile made its way on his face. They would make the cutest couple, of course.
Then, he pictured himself dancing in front of the judges, and a blush of embarassment crept up
his cheeks.
He had been so out of it, he couldn't exactly remember if he had done well or not.Seeing the reaction of the auditioners, he most likely had wasted his only chance to prove his parents he could live prosperly doing the things he loved.He could feel the tears well up in his eyes, and he bit hard his bottom lip to stop himself from breaking out in public.He instantly regretted not going to Namjoon.Hoseok painfully tried to breathe, but ended up on the ground of an empty street.The air was burning his throatThe tears wouldn't come outHis chest was ready to burst openAnd it felt as though it could never get better
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Hoseok woke up the next morning with a hangover-like headache.He was in his bed, but the curtains were closed, and the room dark.When he tried to get up and violently walked into a wall, he understood that he wasn't, in fact, in his apartment.Well, he hadn't wondered how he had managed to move himself from the curb, when he was almost passed out from a sudden explosion of emotions, and the following panic attack.A total stranger taking him in
could
be a solution to this question.
Oh, in what kind of sticky situation had he gotten himself into?Feeling his way along, he found the door, and was ready to confidently push it open and to dash for his life, when he heard steps coming his way.Containing his heart attack a little, he pricked up his ears to try to hear what the people were whispering outside.Hoseok couldn't pinpoint how many of them there was. Maybe two or three...Then the conversation ended, and he heard a pair of foot leave, a door open, then close.He felt at ease, a little. One less person to fight.
Suddenly, a hand was turning the doorknob, and in entered...
Jimin?And was that Jungkook, behind him?Wait! Even Namjoon was there!Hoseok sighed in relief and fell back on the bed.He felt the big lump in his throat totally disappear, and his crazy heartbeat drastically calm down.
The uneasiness came back ,though, seconds later when he saw the concerned faces of his friends, wainting for him to catch his breath.
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"You called me yesterday, you don't remember? You were asleep when I found you. On the ground." Namjoon spoke, his face more serious than ever."He called us, and we were closer to Namjoon's flat, so we took you there" Jimin said, not looking in Hoseok's eyes.Hoseok couldn't quite look at his friends, either. He was staring hard at his croissant, ashamed of the state he had been found in."Were you drunk?" Jungkook blurted, only to be hit violently in the stomach by his boyfriend. Jungkook glared at Jimin after groaning in pain.Hoseok wasn't really listening, anyway. He was still stuck on the fact that he was, for the first time ever, in his best-friend's apartment.
A place he'd tried to imagine countless times.From what he had seen so far (a corridor, the kitchen and the living room), the whole place was void of any personal objects, but was still in a terribly messy state.With empty ramen cups and music sheets all over the floor, huge layers of dust on the window sills and laundry was drying on the kitchen counters...
He could see why Namjoon seemed so close to that roommate of his: it should take years of a strong friendship to get to that level of dirtiness.Not that Hoseok was being jealous or anything, analysing stuff like that. He was Namjoon's best friend, after all."Hoseok? Are you even listening?" Namjoon seemed really worried by now.Figures, he had found his friend asleep and crying on the street.
But how was Hoseok supposed to make them understand?
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Minutes later, Hoseok was slamming the door and leaving the apartment, fuming.What kind of joke was that?
He was disgusted by his friends' reactions. Furious.He was a responsible adult now, yet he was still being treated like a child? Worse, a simple-minded high-school student?Hoseok had started to explain the situation to his friends when he suddenly got a little excited about the mysterious Suga.Which had led Jungkook and Jimin to the conclusion that the boy was the cause of Hoseok's breakdown.
When Hoseok looked for help in Namjoon's eyes, the one he considered his best friend and the most likely to understand him, the only thing he found was a blank face, a stare into the void and another dose of worry on top of that.They hadn't even let him finish his story, before patronising him.He desperately needed someone to listen to his full story, and Jin being his only friends besides those three, Hoseok decided to drop by the convenience store and cry to his heart's content in his only true friend's arms.
Storming in the narrow alleys of the store, Hoseok stopped his frantic search of comfort when he finally found Jin, coming out of the backroom and his plain clothes on.He was ready to leave.With a sigh of relief, he walked up to Jin.And Hoseok saw movement behind him, and he remembered Namjoon's roommate was the new cashier.
The guy was coming out of the backroom, just after Jin.Hoseok saw him.He saw Jin hug him tight and say goodbye.Jin was leaving.Hoseok couldn't hold him back.He had better things to do, now.Like restarting his heart, for example.
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Hoseok was
not
ready.He could tell Suga wasn't, either.They both had puffy eyes, and running noses.Hoseok still thought he had the most beautiful face he had ever seen.He wanted to say something, but his brain remained painfully blank and his heart was pacing up by the second.He must have looked like the most ridiculous, panicking idiot, with his gaping mouth and the strangled sounds coming out of his throat.
Suga was just frozen, and his cheeks were gradually becoming an adorable shade of red.Hoseok's eyes could see his Adam's apple going up and down, as he was trying to gulp down his embarrassment.Jin was standing there, observing the strange scene in confusion."What are you doing here Hoseok? You know Suga? Wait. Did you cry? You too?!"Suga. So that's where he had heard his name! That was Namjoon's roommate's nickname!Suga, because his skin was as white as sugar, he had heard...
The mint-haired boy looked at Jin with frowned eyes, as if trying to figure something out, and Hoseok observed as his face slowly metamorphosed from confusion to understanding."You..You're Hoseok? As in, Jung Hoseok, Namjoon's friend?" Suga hesitated and his
face blushed even more.That was the cue for Hoseok to introduce himself, but he hadn't had the time to rehearse his speech!He had to make the best first impression, he couldn't seem too eager, or too detached, or too pretentious and petty...
Then he remembered what Namjoon had told him months ago.That there was this saying that if you meet a stranger thrice, then you and that person are fated. And that if ever Hoseok met him once again, then he didn't even have to be all shy and embarrassed and bullshit, because he was definitely going to get to know him afterwards, and then he'd regret not being himself.Hoseok displayed his most ravishing smile, the one that showed his dimples and his teeth, and he spread his hand for Suga to shake."Yes, that's me. I've heard a lot about you, too! But I think we've met before? Right?"
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It had taken a few meetings for Suga to understand how Hoseok was naturally awkward and embarrassing, in whatever kind of social situation he was in.He actually found it extremely attractive, to be honest.
On their third meeting, Hoseok had subtly tried to take his hand, forgetting of course that Suga was already holding his drink. As a result, his caramel macchiato had spread everywhere on the floor, and blush on Hoseok's cheeks.
While he was watching his crush literally wheezing and trying to awkwardly laugh it off, because he 'had obviously done it on purpose', Suga felt the kind of sweet fondness that doesn't come off easily grow inside his chest.
He had been looking for answers forever, he still didn't know if he was part of the good guys or the villains. Hoseok, with his easy smiles and charming eyes had given, if not partial solutions to his problems, the strength to continue in his quest for truth. Through his many experiences in life, Yoongi had come to realise that the Earth was an unsafe and dangerous place to live on. While until then he had been willing to give everything up for the sake of music and emotions, he was delighted, enchanted even, to have finally found a new goal.
If Hoseok was to ever feel lonely again, then Yoongi would have to accompany him in his loneliness."Hey, Yoongs" Hoseok had called, seeming unsure"What""I've been wondering for a long time, but hum, you know, you and I..."Yoongi felt his chest tighten in anticipation. He had been hoping from the bottom of his heart that Hoseok was going to ask that question."...it wasn't a coincidence, was it?" Hoseok finished, embarrassingly looking at him, in hopes for a clear answer.Yoongi was disappointed. He sighed."What is it again, Hope?""Well, I'm pretty sure they exist, my sister met one once, and since I felt...whatever I felt when I first saw you..."They both blushed."Come on, Hoseok, we're going to be late, what do you want to say?""Are you a spirit?"Yoongi looked at Hoseok who was uncomfortably shifting on place. He was truly astonished, and found himself smiling while observing his lover squirm under his intense gaze."I thought you already knew, but I guess you weren't told..."Hoseok instantly shot his head up and looked at Yoongi with wide eyes."...I'm not the spirit of course, Namjoon is."