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Nia spends the whole car ride home trying, very politely, not to freak out. It kind of works. She thinks, maybe. It's hard to know, because everything just feels like too much right now. She's already full up to the top with feelings, still trying to process everything and she just wants to call her mom - her mom, god - and she can't. But also: Kara Danvers is Supergirl. Kara Danvers, Ace Reporter and Number One Mentor and Obnoxious Board Game Winner, who taught Nia how to pick her moments for adverbs and made Nia feel welcome at Catco. Kara who writes the alien article series that Nia quietly saves on paper at home because it makes her so proud, being mentored by someone who speaks out for what she believes in and gives a voice to people who deserve to be heard. Kara who showed Nia the best bakery in National City and always smells like coffee and flowers and has beautiful, delicate hands. Kara who Nia's definitely seen in her lounge clothes at home, and with donut frosting on her cheeks. Kara who always seemed like she had a secret and Nia thought maybe she was secretly an alien but it's so much more than that, Kara Danvers is Supergirl. Nia's fine about it. It's fine that she's watching Supergirl shoulder check as she pulls the rental car back onto the highway. It's cool that she knows that the music app on Supergirl's phone is full of an embarrassing number of Broadway cast recordings and literally nothing else. She feels super chill about all of that.Just intensely, unbelievably chill. + Hey, Nia writes, typing fast so that she doesn't second-guess herself. Remember when you said I wasn't alone? She hits send, watches the text message go from sending to sent and waits. Kara doesn't reply right away. Nia tries to be rational about it, tries to think about all the important things that Kara - or Supergirl - could be doing that don't involve answering a needy 11PM text message from her intern. How it's reasonable that maybe Kara messages her back in the morning or that they talk about it over coffee tomorrow, at work. Kara replies at midnight, about ten minutes after Nia's given up on getting an answer and started to tuck herself into bed. Of course, her message reads. What do you need? Is that still true? Definitely., Kara sends back, with about seventeen different kinds of heart emojis. Nia feels herself blush. + It's the little things that help the most. There's another Children of Liberty attack, at a restaurant that Nia's been to before. She doesn't know where the owners are from but she remembers them as very kind. The footage is playing on the screens in James' office and Nia's supposed to be finishing an article about new after-school programs and the way they're bringing alien and human communities together but she feels too upset to proofread a thing. Kara's got a hand on Nia's shoulder, another on the arm of her chair and Nia can feel it now, the little edge of strength in her grip. Now that she sees it, she can't believe she didn't know about Kara sooner. "Hey," Kara says, low enough that only Nia can hear. "Why don't you go write in my office; there's a bit less background noise in there." It's a gift, and Nia accepts it like one: a chance to get away without having to always be vulnerable. When she gets up and collects her things she notices four perfect grooves in the metal arm of her desk chair; exactly the shape of Kara's hand. Nia runs her fingertip along the edges of them, remembers Kara's hand there moments ago. Each indentation tells her: you're not alone. They're at a coffee shop and a german shepherd won't stop barking at them. Nia can feel her shoulders start to rise, the tension building in her belly and threatening to make her feel sick. Kara takes a long sip of her coffee, makes a point of raising her voice. "You know, I was thinking I'd get myself a dog," she says. "And train it to sniff out jerks." Someone at the next table giggles. A staff member in a green apron moves to clean tables, puts herself in between them and the dog; it settles. When Nia feels like she can breathe again, Kara's watching her. "You want to finish your coffee somewhere else?" she asks. It feels easier, with Kara. Knowing that she'd understand exactly why, if Nia said that she wanted to leave. Somehow, that makes it easier to stay. + It's a dark and stormy night. Nia sent that in a text to Kara three hours ago, with a little winking-faced emoji. They do that now, send each other little jokes, have competitions to see who can use the most adverbs in a text chain to get them out of their systems before they write an article. She still hasn't heard a reply, but that's alright. Supergirl's responding to an incident down by the waterfront; Kara will get to her texts when she's got the time. There's a knock on her window. It wakes Nia up. She's in the middle of a dream about being caught in the rain, so vivid that she moves to wipe water from her eyes as she drifts back into the present. When she opens her eyes she sees Supergirl floating outside her window, soaking wet. Nia's bedroom window doesn't open, but the living room has a window that sort-of opens and is big enough for a very small person to slip out onto the fire escape, just barely meeting the technicalities of the fire code. She leans her head out of the window and tries not to wince as icy rainwater drips against the back of her neck. "Is everything okay?" Nia asks. She reaches a hand out, brushes the back of Supergirl's knuckles with her fingertips and just like that she turns into Kara, wearing Supergirl's suit. "Can I just - be here?" Kara asks. "It's just been a really tough night." "Of course," Nia says. "Let me just - I'll get you a towel." Nia gets her a towel to stand on, another for the rest of herself and watches as Kara Danvers, Her Friend Who Is Also Supergirl, tumbles onto her living room floor, dripping wet. She towels her hair dry using exactly the same movements that Nia does when she's getting out of the shower. It's surreal in a very precise way that Nia can't quite describe; the juxtaposition of normal and unbelievable and of course there aren't that many ways for someone with long hair to towel dry. It's still weird. Supergirl pads away into the bathroom and when she comes out she's Kara, wearing Nia's sweater and a pair of Nia's old pyjama pants. "I, um. Hung my suit up in your bathtub," she says. "I hope that's okay." It is, except that if her roommate wakes up they're never going to stop tweeting about the fact that Nia brought Supergirl back to their apartment, so. It's kind of not. "Let me just -" Nia starts, collects Kara's suit & boots from the bathroom and hides them in her closet to dry. There's a simile there but she's just - not going there right now. They stay in the living room for a while, Nia offers her a glass of water and Kara accepts; it's about as awkward as it should be. They end up in Nia's bedroom. Kara's sort of vibrating, pacing a little bit and she's been so clear that she doesn't want to talk about it but it kind of seems like she wants to talk about it and Nia doesn't know what to do, until she does. "Come here," she tells Kara, open-armed. Kara moves into her arms slowly. She just looks so worn out, her expression full of emotion so deep it seems like it goes all the way down to her bones. Nia knows just from looking at her that she can't fix whatever that's about. But she can do this. She can keep herself still as Kara tucks her head into the crook of Nia's shoulder, her hair wet damp against Nia's chin. She can hug back as tightly as she can; hold Kara still and pretend that she doesn't hear the way her breath hitches or notice the shaky exhale. "You want to watch a movie?" Nia asks the top of Kara's head. "That always makes me feel better." Nia doesn't have The Wizard of Oz but eventually she finds a copy online. They have to watch it scrunched up on Nia's bed; her laptop balanced on their thighs. They listen with the speakers off, each sharing one earbud from Nia's headphones. It feels for a moment like she's back in college, cuddled up in bed with her first girlfriend, but she brushes that aside. This is different. + Nia dreams. She dreams of the sky, of warm sun on her face and the smell of grass after rain. Kara's there. She smiles, and Nia feels sun-warmed all the way through. "You're here," Kara says, her voice full of hidden laughter. "Of course," Nia replies. Kara reaches for Nia's hand. Her touch is soft and warm and where her fingers brush across Nia's skin, flowers start to sprout. They grow and grow until Nia feels like her arm is nothing but flowers, blooming bigger and brighter than she could have ever imagined. "You look beautiful like that," Kara says. "I hope you keep them." Nia says the first thing that comes to mind: "They'll get in the way." Kara smiles, brushes a fingertip across one of Nia's rose-petal fingers. She feels it, electric and tingly all the way up her arm. "I think you make them work." Nia wakes up feeling warm and soft, her limbs heavy with sleep and the heat of the dream-sun. + They go to the aquarium together and it's probably not a date. It's some kind of special night - Nia heard about it from Jen who does the entertainment and events writing. It's number three on the top ten date night picks list for the week of January 19 but that doesn't mean anything. Friends who are also colleagues who are also secret superheroes together who also loosely have an employer-employee relationship can go on collegial, platonic dates. Not everything has to be about romance, Jen. They go to the aquarium together and it's adults-only night. Everything's open late and there's a cute little cocktail bar raising money for ocean conservation and a contest where you can buy a raffle ticket to win a chance to name the newest rescue seal and everyone else there is a couple holding hands.Nia wears trousers and flats, because it's the aquarium, but she also wears a sweater with sequin embroidery and her new earrings and she pays enough attention to her makeup that her roommate gives makes a face and asks if Nia needs the apartment later. (Nia rolls her eyes, says, "I'm just hanging out with Kara." "You mean hot boss crush Kara, that one?" they reply. "I'll make sure you two get some privacy.") Kara wears a dress, blue with a tasteful dot print, v-necked and a little floaty. She's got heels on, sensible ones for walking, with her hair pulled back against her nape. Her earrings are sparkly and she's wearing lipstick and her whole expression lights up when she notices Nia and pulls her into a hug. Her dress, Nia realizes now that she's up close, isn't covered in dots at all. The printed parts that look like dots are tiny, fashionably proportioned clownfish, and Nia can't help but laugh. "Your dress is amazing," she says. "I'm in awe. Where did you get it?"Kara laughs, swishes her skirt in her hand and loops Nia's arm into hers. She launches into a story about how long she's been waiting for an occasion to wear her fancy fish dress as they walk into one of the tank rooms, soothing and blue and dimly-lit. Kara watches the otters for half an hour. Nia knows this because she stands and watches with her, lets her cocktail go warm in her hand while the otters do loops of the tank, over and over again. There's one with a white muzzle, clearly older than the other otters, and Kara likes that one best of all - his hips are a little stiff as he waddles onto the rocks to meet his trainer, but in the water he's just as limber as the others. "Look," Kara coos. She grabs Nia by the wrist, pulling her nearer. Nia feels her touch like sparks, gets a sudden flash of flowers and the way the sun warms her skin. "That one's cleaning himself. Look at his little paws." Nia lets her fingers go loose, allows Kara to lace her fingers in between them and hold her hand. "He's adorable," Nia whispers.Kara squeezes her hand and smiles up at Nia, warm and brilliant. "Thank you for inviting me," she says. "This was such a good idea." They stand together, hand in hand, while one of the trainers comes out to teach the gathering crowd some facts about sea otters. Nia holds tight to Kara's hand to keep from floating away. Nia's the one who suggests a selfie, next to the clownfish tank. The aquarium is starting to empty, couples drifting away as the event winds down but Nia doesn't feel ready to leave just yet. "Come on," she says. "They match your dress, you have to." Kara - brilliant Kara, who always has shiny hair and a perfect smile and clear skin and gorgeous clothes - stares at her feet. "I don't know," she says. Nia shakes her head. "You're an obnoxious millennial, it's like a rule. If you don't take a selfie, did this night even really happen?" Kara rolls her eyes, but she pulls at Nia's wrist and says, "You have to take it with me. Otherwise, how will I prove that I went with someone?" Nia balks; starts to say something but then a gap in the crowd around the tank opens up; Kara crouches down in front of it and drags Nia in beside her. "Come on," Kara says. "Quick." Kara's already got her phone out, Nia barely has time to brush her hair out of her face before Kara's taken four photos, each grinning and radiant. Nia shakes her head, reaches for Kara's phone. "Let me take one, I think I was making a weird face." Nia raises the phone, finds the angle she likes best and the smile she likes. She takes one picture, gets ready for a second when Kara leans in and kisses her on the cheek. Nia hears herself squeal with laughter, her whole body surprised by Kara's lips against her skin. She taps her thumb against the screen reflexively, feels the familiar vibration that tells her the photo was captured as Kara finishes the kiss and pulls away, giggling. "Oh, I got you," Kara says, covers her mouth to giggle a little more. "What do you mean?" Nia says. She lifts the phone up, takes one more picture of the perfect raspberry lipstick-kiss Kara's left on her cheek. They look at the photos later. After Nia's blushed and gone to the bathroom to wipe Kara's lipstick stain away, after they've left the aquarium and wandered a few blocks away to the only coffee shop still open. It's a perfect series: Kara grinning like an angel, the clownfish swimming in the tank behind them to match the little printed fish on the bodice of her dress, while Nia smiles a little awkwardly beside her. Nia smiling, her hair arranged the way she likes it, her usual selfie expression while Kara beams beside her. A blur coming in from her right, blonde and a little out of focus and then a perfect shot of Kara, open-eyed and fish-lipped, moving in to kiss her cheek. Nia's eyes crinkling around the corners, her expression collapsing with delight as Kara kisses her. The two of them, blurred and grinning, backlit blue from the fish tank. Nia can't look at them without her cheeks getting warm. "I like these," Kara says. She points to one, in the middle of the kissing series. Nia's halfway to grinning and Kara's eyes are closed and her lips are pressed to Nia's cheek. They look happy. They look like lovers. "You look really cute in this one." "Thanks," Nia says. She sounds soft. She can't help it. Her roommate's voice is in her ears, singsonging hot boss crush and damn them, they're not wrong. "We should do that more often," Kara says. Nia can't quite read her voice; she looks up. "Go to the aquarium?" she asks. "Obviously," Kara replies. "But also, um. Kiss." Nia feels frozen. She can't - she must have misheard. "What?" "If you want," Kara says. Her voice is soft and tight and when Nia really looks at her she notices how nervous Kara seems. The way her shoulders are tight and her thumb is sort of fidgeting with the edge of her phone case and the way she's inhaling like she's winding up, getting ready to do some damage control. "Yeah," Nia manages, whisper-soft. Kara reaches out, covers Nia's hand with her own and Nia feels it again, electricity dancing across her skin and blooming outwards. Kara kisses her on the mouth for the first time at five minutes to closing on the patio of a Starbucks. It's barely anything, this tender little brush of Kara's lips against her own but it's also everything Nia's been wanting for weeks, everything she wouldn't let herself want. Nia kisses back softly, gently. Kara sighs against her mouth - Kara Danvers, her boss and mentor and role model and protector and friend who is also Supergirl - and Nia feels invincible. "You should send them to me," Nia whispers. "What?" Kara sounds dazed, faraway. Nia's first thought is, I did that. "The photos," Nia says. "You should send them to me. I want something to remember tonight by." Kara walks Nia home. They hold hands, and at the doorway to Nia's apartment building Kara pulls Nia in by the front of her sweater and kisses her again, soft and slow. Nia takes the stairs, walks four flights up because she needs to burn off a little bit of that starstruck, smitten energy before she gets home. By the time she's at her door she's got a series of texts from Kara; all the selfies from their night together and one more: Kara on the sidewalk alone, her lips pursed into a kissing-face just for Nia. Thank you for tonight, Kara texts back. I'd love to see you again. Nia sends back an eyeroll emoji, three donuts, and a heart. I'm going to see you at friend-brunch tomorrow, you donut. Kara texts again, a winking face blowing a little heart kiss. You know what I mean, she replies. Nia does.