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“I’m sorry. What?” Jim stared down at the screen on his PADD.“You are the father of record.”He looked up into the face of the Caitian social worker, who stared at him expectantly. He looked back at the holopic of the six year old twins on his screen. A boy and a girl. Caitian ears, sandy colored hair, blue eyes. Not possible, surely.“I don’t think so.”The social worker, M’Ress, gave him a look of extreme disappointment. “Captain, I have gone to a lot of trouble to track you down. You’re now involved in a second five-year mission. It is a miracle I was able to make it here during your shore leave. You are very secretive about your plans.”“I’m not secretive,” Jim protested. “We weren’t sure where our shore leave would be.”“Yet you knew you would eventually be coming to New Vulcan to take part in the bonding ceremony with your first officer, Commander Spock.”Jim blushed. “I think you have the wrong guy.”“Csearr named you as father on the official forms.”“But—”“Captain Kirk,” she said, impatiently. “The twins, M’Rasha and M’Nisarr, are orphans. Csearr was killed in an accident. Her sister, Hsurr, is also deceased. They have no known relative other than yourself. If you do not take over care of them as their father, we will be forced to put them in an orphanage.”Jim heard the door behind him open. Awareness flicked up his neck and he turned to Spock.“What is it, Jim?” Spock asked, coming to stand beside him.“M’Ress, this is Commander Spock, my husband. Spock, this is M’Ress.”“Commander,” she said politely.Jim thrust his PADD at Spock, searching his husband’s face as Spock perused the screen. There was only a brief flash of surprise in his dark eyes before he quickly returned to impassive neutrality.“A mistake—” Jim suggested.“There is no mistake. Look at them. They are yours. Are you denying that you were ever sexually intimate with Csearr?”He glanced at Spock, uneasily.M’Ress made an impatient sound, between a snort and a growl. “I am certain Commander Spock is well aware of your past indiscretions.”Jim narrowed his eyes. “They were in the past and since I wasn’t with anyone, they were hardly indiscretions.”She waved her hand at this. “I anticipated your reluctance to acknowledge them as yours, therefore with a simple paternity test, we can lay your doubts to rest. My time is limited, and I would like to make the exchange.”“The…wait. Are they here? On New Vulcan?”“Of course. They have been under my guardianship for months while I attempted to locate you. Your Federation friends were of little help, Starfleet less so. If you refuse them, then I will be left with no choice but to see them to some sort of foster situation.” She sighed. “I have a life of my own, Captain. I cannot be responsible for them indefinitely.”“But…look. I’m a starship captain and we don’t allow children on ships.”“I acknowledge your difficult situation, Captain. You will surely figure out what is best in this matter.”“Aren’t there—”“No.” She straightened. “Captain, they are not readily accepted amongst our people. The chances of someone adopting them and giving them permanent homes is very small. I suspect, the situation would be similar amongst Humans.” She faced Spock. “I am certain you understand what they are facing better than most, Commander.”Spock hesitated briefly before saying, “Yes.”M’Ress nodded. “Being children of two different species is a unique challenge for most. M’Rasha and M’Nisarr are lucky that in their circumstances, they still have a parent left. In the past, there have been such couplings that have resulted in total abandonment by both parents. Such intimate relationship with outworlders are discouraged, but Csearr and her sister, Hsurr, obviously found your appeal hard to resist, Captain. You are fortunate only two were born of your intimacies. In some cases, litters have been born.”Jim grimaced.“I will leave you to discuss things with your bonded mate while I arrange for the paternity tests to be done. I am sure this is a shock, Captain, but in such matters, sometimes unplanned pregnancies occur.”She left the room of Sarek’s house where she had come to see Jim.He sat down in the nearest chair, burying his face in his hands. Spock knelt beside him and pulled his hands from his face.“Ashayam.”“God, I’m so sorry, Spock.”“Jim, we were not together when—”“No. I know. It’s just…you didn’t bargain for any of this when we-when we got together.”“Nor did you.”“No, but, fuck.”Spock arched his brow at this. “Did it never occur to you that pregnancy could occur during these…occurrences?”“No. Yes. I mean. I’d had a shot. To you know. For birth control. And they said they had the suppression shot too, and I just…how would this happen?”“Nothing is completely accurate, Jim.”“What am I going to do?”Spock sighed. “What are we going to do?”Jim grabbed his hand. “You still…I mean, in spite of everything?”“You are my mate, my husband. Through anything and everything.”“But children?” He whispered. “Never in a million years did I ever think…that’s not my life.”“They appear to be yours, ashayam. The resemblance…”“In the eyes. I know.”Spock smiled very slightly. “And the noses.”“They won’t be allowed on the ship, will they?”“It is not normal, but perhaps, under the circumstances, they will relent?”“Or I’ll have to quit. And what of you? This isn’t your doing.”“Jim, do you not want me by your side?” Spock demanded, his voice sharp. Jim felt his displeasure through their recently fully fulfilled bond. Fulfilled on the forge of New Vulcan. Through lots of claiming. The memories made Jim blush anew. Spock frowned. “What—?”Jim shook his head. “Nothing. Just, um, remembering, our bonding ceremony.”“Now?”Jim bit his lip. “Um. Anyway. Yes, of course, I want you with me always. It’s just, this, we never even discussed this kind of thing.”“Perhaps,” Spock agreed. “And perhaps we should. I have thought of having a family.”“With Uhura?”“At one time,” Spock said, softly. “And when I thought of leaving to go to New Vulcan to help with repopulation.”“Yeah.” Jim looked away, swallowed hard. “But with me?”“Ashaya, I want everything with you. Always and forever.”Jim looked back at Spock meeting his loving gaze. “This is a lot to take in.”“Affirmative. But what the twins will need above all else is acceptance and love.” Spock stroked his thumb over Jim’s jaw. “You are extremely capable of both.”“We’ve got this?”“We do, Jim. We do.”
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“I’m going to be sick.” Jim held on to his stomach.“T’hy’la, calm down. All will be well.”Jim shook his head and renewed his pacing. They were waiting in a room in the main city hall in the New ShiKahr for the paternity results. He wore one of Spock’s robes, because…well, because he’d wanted to. Spock had been surprised but willing when Jim asked. And if they looked a little matchy matchy, Jim didn’t care. He was on shore leave and was facing a life changing crisis.Not that children were a crisis. But, well, maybe they were. To Jim.“I don’t know anything about children,” he said to Spock. “I mean teaching them to talk. To walk. How do you do that?”“At six years old, I am certain the children already know how to talk and walk, Jim.”“Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Duh.” He swayed a little. He was sweating profusely.Spock walked over to him and put his hands on Jim’s biceps, stopping him mid-walk. “Ashal-veh, you must calm down. They will bring the results when they are ready.”“What am I going to do if they’re mine?”“Jim—”He bit his lip. “God, I’m sorry. I keep doing that. I can’t…Spock, it’s just, I’ve been alone all my life, really, and I just…what are we going to do if they’re mine?”Spock leaned into him and kissed him softly. “You know what we will do. We will care for them.”Jim nodded, closed his eyes. “What-what if they aren’t?”“Explain.”“I think I’m going to be really upset if they aren’t mine. God, I’m a mess.”Spock raised a hand to Jim’s face and spread his fingers over his psi points.Jim felt Spock’s calm, affectionate presence working to soothe him. His eyes pricked with tears. “I love you so much. How do you put up with me?”“You are my heart.” Spock gave him his little half smile. “And we put up with each other. Whatever your past was, Jim, you are not alone now. And you will never be alone again.”The door to the room opened and Jim clutched at Spock, who took hold of his arm and turned Jim to face M’Ress, who had come to join them. She nodded at that.“Captain, are you well? You look quite pale.”“Fine.”She glanced at Spock briefly, before giving a small shrug. “The results are in, Captain Kirk. You are a match for M’Rasha and M’Nisarr. The twins were, indeed, fathered by you.”Jim blinked rapidly, grateful for Spock’s hold on him. “I see.”“I have sent the results to both you and Commander Spock so that you can verify them for yourselves. The children are ready to be—”“Which one is which?” Jim interrupted.“M’Rasha is your daughter and M’Nisarr is your son.”His daughter and son. He…had…“Where are the children now, M’Ress?” Spock asked.“As I was saying, they are currently at my accommodations here in the city, but now that we have confirmation of their identity in regard to you, Captain, I will return there to begin preparations for the transfer of their custody.” She eyed Spock. “If you two are two retain custody of the twins, as their parents on a permanent basis, the Caitian government has a request to make of you, Commander Spock.”Spock arched a brow. “Oh?”“A simple one, I think,” she said, smoothly. “We request that you officially adopt M’Rasha and M’Nisarr. As Captain Kirk’s legal spouse both by Federation and Vulcan standards, you will become a parent to the twins also. No offense, Captain, Commander, but you have dangerous positions in Starfleet, if you continue, and we wish to ensure that there will be a surviving legal guardian to care for the children should one of you meet an unfortunate end.”Spock nodded. “I will, of course, comply. It would have been my desire to adopt them in any case.”M’Ress smiled her satisfaction. “Thank you. It is appreciated both by myself and the Caitian authorities. Given their already tragic circumstances of losing both their mother and their aunt, we want to ensure what is the best for their future.”“As long as it’s not with Caitian parents, you mean,” Jim said bluntly.She shrugged again. “Now, if you will excuse me, I will take leave to gather the children and their belongings. You will be at Ambassador Sarek’s house?”“Yes,” it was Spock who replied.Jim still felt a little shell-shocked. And yes, he knew he was going to have to get over that. And fast. None of this was the fault of the children. Not the fact that they were being basically dumped by the Caitians on to a stranger to them or that they had lost their mother. They would likely be devastated.Jim had a little bit of experience with knowing what it was like without much parental influence in his life. Being unwanted. An outcast of sorts. And the truth was, while he could surely fuck things up, Spock would not. Spock was truly amazing, and they would be so lucky to have him. Just as Jim was.“Jim,” Spock spoke softly, but his tone indicated he’d said Jim’s name more than once.He turned to Spock with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Think your father will like having grandkids?”“With my father? It is unknown.” But there was a slight twitch of his lips, indicating amusement.“Everyone’s going to think this is nuts. It is, isn’t it? And Starfleet. I guess…it’s time to tell them.”“Yes. But the first step is to return to my father’s and prepare to greet the children.” He took Jim’s hand. “Come, T’hy’la.”
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They lucked out, Jim supposed, in that Sarek was not at home when they returned there. That delayed having to deal with Spock’s father and his judgment, temporarily anyway.The thing was, Jim always figured Sarek didn’t entirely approve of Spock’s relationships with humans. Which was weird considering his own history with them. And Jim had thought the vague sense of disapproval was directed solely at him, until Uhura cleared up that notion, assuring him Sarek hadn’t been any warmer and fuzzier with her.But he’d accepted their human marriage, two months ago, and then their official bonding on New Vulcan, only the week earlier. That had all been before Jim came with, um, children. It was hard to believe just a week ago he’d been preoccupied with the logistics of outdoor desert sex. He’d ended up with sand in places he didn’t want to think about and it had taken him a good three days to get over the, uh, soreness.Jim would say this about Sarek. Even though he lived alone unless Spock was visiting, Sarek occupied a large house with three bedrooms. Prior to their arrival, only Sarek’s bedroom had been used, but now he and Spock had one room, and Jim guessed they’d be putting the kittens, er, children in the third one.Stop thinking of them as cats, Jim admonished himself. No doubt he was being quite insensitive.He’d been pacing in the main room of the house by himself as Spock went to do whatever Spock did, Jim didn’t think too hard on it that moment, but suddenly Spock had returned and seized hold of Jim’s arms to stop his movement.“Your mind is in chaos.”Jim raised both eyebrows. Because, well he couldn’t arch just one, all right? It took practice. And he had captainly things to do. “Can you blame me? How would you feel if one of your exes came to you and said, oh, hey, Spock, these ten children are yours. Have them.”“In the first place, I have only ever been with you and Nyota—”“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better.”“And in the second place, there are only two children.”Jim grimaced. “You know what I mean.”A sharp knock sounded on the door and Jim sucked in a breath.Spock raised one hand to Jim’s forehead, fingertips kissing his temple. “Calmness, Adun.”He nodded and went to the door to open it.Only a small boy stood there. He clutched a piece of luggage and peered up at Jim with a scrunched up face.“M’Nisarr?”“Uh-huh.”Jim opened the door wide for the child to come in, peering outside for signs of M’Rasha or M’Ress, but he saw nothing.Frowning he closed the door.“Where is your sister?”“She is waiting.”M’Nisarr was shorter than Jim expected, though he wasn’t sure why. He might not deal regularly with kids, but he was a six year old himself once. Looking at the boy now, Jim had no doubts, test results or not. The boy had a slightly darker shade of hair than Jim’s but his eyes were an exact match, as was most of the bone structure of his face. His ears though…they were far more pointy than human ears and more matched Spock’s. Of course, they obviously resembled his mother’s.“Waiting for what?” Jim asked, as he moved over to stand beside Spock.“To see if the coast is clear,” he said. His curious gaze flicked to Spock.“This is my husband, Spock.”M’Nisarr nodded. “M’Ress told us. We will be living with you now.”“Yes,” Spock replied. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, M’Nisarr.”The boy’s lips curved upward. “I haven’t met any Vulcans before.” Then he scrunched up his face again. “Before I came here, I mean.”Jim shifted awkwardly and gestured to the couch. “Do you want to sit?”“Sure.” The boy plopped down hard on the couch.Jim exchanged a look with Spock and they both sat too. “Do you know who I am?”“Yep. Captain Kirk.”“Uh. Yeah. Yeah, that’s true. But I mean—”M’Nisarr tilted his face. “My father. Yes. M’Ress told us.”“Yeah. Um, did-did your mother mention me?”“No, not really. Once M’Rasha asked and Mommy said we were better off not knowing.”“Oh.”“That’s why M’Rasha wanted me to come first. To tell her it’s okay.”“That was brave of you,” Jim said. “I’m really sorry about your mommy.”“I miss her.”“I know you do. But we’ll take care of you now.”“Okay.”“Where is your sister?” Spock asked.“They are outside, waiting. Will we be on the ship with you?”“Er. I’m not sure yet. Would you like to be?”“I’ve never lived on a ship before,” M’Nisarr admitted. “Do they have toys?”“Well. Um.”“Perhaps,” Spock said. “If you believe it is all right to bring your sister in, perhaps you should.”The boy nodded. “Sure.” He scrambled up from the couch, ran to the door and went outside.“He has a tail,” Jim whispered.“Of course.”“Well. I mean his mom did. And her sister. I mean obviously—”Spock arched a brow.Jim blushed. “That was, you know, I don’t do that kind of thing regularly.”“I would hope not.”“No. I mean not now, obviously. But even then, it really wasn’t anything I did a lot, no matter what the rumors said.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Of course they’re evidence to the contrary.”“Ashayam, whatever your past is, is past. It does not concern either of us in the present.”Jim reached over and squeezed Spock’s hand. “Except as far as our instant family is concerned.”The door opened again and Jim was expecting the children and, perhaps, M’Ress. Instead it was Sarek.“Oh hell.”
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Sarek arched his brow at Jim. And Spock, too, Jim supposed.They had still been holding hands when Sarek had come in. Sarek’s gaze went to their entwined hands and Spock tightened his hold on Jim’s, Jim figured, rather defiantly. Sarek could give any Vulcan lessons on how to look cool and sardonic. Spock had nothing on his father. But, well, Jim refused to be intimidated by anyone’s parent, including Spock’s.He smiled. “Hello, Sa-Mekh.”After all, Sarek had told Jim to call him that. Never mind that this was the first time he had bothered to do so. Okay, well, maybe told him to was an exaggeration. Sarek had said if Jim felt like he wanted to or Sarek wouldn’t object or something like that. And it might have been the night before his bonding ceremony with Spock when maybe Jim had given Sarek this shot glass full of chocolate liqueur at dinner. Or maybe even three shots. Anyway, it happened.“Jim. Spock.”“Did you see the children?” Jim asked, blunt and to the point.“Indeed. I met both M’Rasha and M’Nisarr as well as their guardian, M’Ress.”“Former guardian.”Sarek nodded. “Apparently.”Spock released Jim’s hand at last and moved forward toward his father. “Then the situation has been explained?”Even Jim knew that would have been too easy.“I am uncertain,” Sarek said, blandly. “Why not explain it yourselves?”Spock opened his mouth as though to do so, but Jim shook his head. He could explain this himself. It was his doing, Spock was merely stuck with it because of his love for Jim.“Okay. A hundred years ago—”“Jim.”Right. Vulcans did not appreciate hyperbole.“Back before Spock and I were together. Way before.”Up went Sarek’s eyebrow again. And honestly, Jim really was going to have to practice that.“I had this brief relationship…well. Um. That might be putting too fine a point on it. What I mean is—”“You had sexual relations with two Caitian females, one of who became pregnant with your offspring, M’Rasha and M’Nisarr. Up until this morning, you were unaware of their existence. When M’Ress arrived today on New Vulcan, she came to advise you that the children’s mother was deceased, and you are their only remaining legal parent.”“Uh.” Jim felt himself blush. His face felt like it was on fire. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yes, sir.”“Jim and I will be parenting the children together and the Caitians have requested that I formally adopt M’Rasha and M’Nisarr and I have agreed,” Spock said.“Ah. Excellent. I am up to speed.” Sarek waved at Jim. “You may now tell them it is all right to come in.”Jim blinked. “You mean, you told them to wait?”“Of course,” Sarek replied. “I felt whatever story you had would be worth it.”Jim shared an irritated glance with Spock and then waited as his husband went to the door. A moment later, M’Ress came in, her arm around M’Rasha.The little girl’s hair was blonder than her brother’s and her eyes, though blue were more the shape of her Caitian mother’s, but her nose, just as M’Nisarr, was Jim’s nose. Her ears were also a little pointier than M’Nisarr’s. Her blonde hair hung down in ringlets to about the middle of her back, but was tied with a mauve ribbon which matched the mauve dress she wore. Like her brother, she also had the Caitian tail. M’Nisarr came in behind them.M’Rasha turned first to Spock. Her eyes widened as she took him in. “You have cat ears.”“M’Rasha,” M’Nisarr hissed.“Well. He does.”Spock’s lips twitched slightly. “They are similar to your own, but they are Vulcan.”“I know,” she said. “M’Ress said you are Father’s husband.”“Yes. And I, too, will care for you as your parent.”She nodded and then turned to look at Sarek. “You are Mister Spock’s daddy.”“Yes.”M’Rasha said nothing more to Sarek, but now stepped away from M’Ress and her brother toward Jim.Jim dropped to his knees so that he would be more at her height level. “Hello, M’Rasha. I am happy to meet you.”She stared at him. “You made Mommy sad.”Jim wasn’t sure what to say to that. And he didn’t even know if it was true. He and Csearr had a great time together, but they’d never spoken of deeper feelings.“I’m sorry,” he told the little girl. His little girl. “I didn’t mean to make her sad.”“M’Nisarr says you are nice.” She sniffed.“I hope so.”She chewed on her lip. “We’re living with you now?”“Yes. Spock and I will take care of you. We are your…fathers.”“Will we live here? It is hot.”Jim smiled. “It is. We don’t know yet where we will live, but wherever it is, we will all live together as a family.”“I am going to make tea,” Sarek spoke up. “Are the children permitted to have some?”M’Rasha wrinkled her nose. “I’d rather have hot chocolate.”“Me too,” Jim agreed. “How about you, M’Nisarr?”“I will have tea,” the boy said.Jim looked past the girl to M’Ress. “And you?”She shrugged. “I thought to leave the children in your care, if that is all right. I have a ship to catch.”“So soon?” Jim stood up.“I have already delayed so much in locating you.”Jim gestured to Spock with his head.“Come, children, we will make tea and hot chocolate,” Spock said, taking them aside to enter the kitchen with Sarek.Jim took M’Ress aside. “Just like that? You’re dumping them here and running?”“I told you—”“I know what you told me. But they don’t even really know us.”“They will know you all the better if they have no choice but to become familiar with you. It is our way, Captain. I have fulfilled my obligations as their temporary guardian which was to locate you. They have you and Commander Spock and Ambassador Sarek. Many hybrid Caitian children are not so lucky. Nor other children. Think of your own situation.”“Listen—”“Delaying their interaction with you by having me present does no one any favors. They must become used to what is their life now.” She gestured to two suitcases. “This is what they were allowed to bring with them. I will check in with you in the future to see how they are doing. Goodbye, Captain.”Jim watched her leave, dumbfounded.
What the actual hell?
Spock came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Jim’s middle. “All will be well, Jim.”“But to just leave them—”“I know. Come. They are waiting.”
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In the time that Spock had known his husband, he had come to know that one thing Jim did not adapt well to was change. Jim thrived best when he was in charge and in complete control. Change caused this control to be in doubt, and Jim did not like this. Jim hated instability.Spock had known when M’Ress had arrived on New Vulcan to speak with Jim, that something was about to occur that would change the course of their lives irrevocably. He had not guessed what it would be, but Spock had known.He was not at all displeased with the recent events. Spock had intended to broach the subject of a family with Jim. At some point. They had talked briefly about it before their marriage two months prior. Though Jim hadn’t been exactly reluctant about the idea, his lack of enthusiasm had been worrying at the time.Spock would have given up on the idea, entirely, however, if it was not something Jim had really wanted. But now, the decision had been made. Spock would not think for better or worse, because even though Jim hated not being in control and in command, whenever change happened, Jim made sure everything was better. It was the way he could control the situation in a satisfactory way.The startling appearance of M’Rasha and M’Nisarr might not have been anticipated or even welcome to Jim, but how that they would be part of their lives, Jim would embrace and love them. Spock had no doubt at all.The children, who were adorable by anyone’s standards, Spock thought, but especially from his standpoint, because they really were little mini-Jims, were seated at the breakfast bar in Spock’s father’s kitchen. They were on stools, but their little legs dangled far above the floor. He suspected that Sa-Mekh had a hand in getting them in their seats. Spock wished he had seen it.He knew from his rather fractured, but also somewhat repaired, familial bond with his father, that Sarek was gruffly pleased by this unexpected event. It had been many years since Sarek had little ones in his home and with these ones not having the Vulcan expectations foisted upon them, his Sa-Mekh felt warmer toward them and more relaxed. It was a good feeling coming from their bond.M’Rasha cradled a cup of replicated hot chocolate in her hands. Hot chocolate would not have been something Sa-Mekh kept readily at hand, given the circumstances. Warmth infused his side when he realized that there were replicate mini-marshmallows in the cup.M’Nisarr had his own small pot of tea in front of him with one of Sa-Mekh’s own favorite cups. The boy seemed to recognize the honor for he sat up very straight on the stool.Jim’s worried expression softened upon viewing the children too. And he glanced at Spock, his lips curving into a smile. “Are you two hungry?”“M’Ress fed us this morning,” M’Rasha said. “It was a big breakfast.”“Big,” M’Nisarr agreed.“What do you usually eat?”“Our dietary requirements are similar to that of Terrans and Vulcans,” M’Nisarr spoke up. “We are omni-omni…” He made a face.“Omnivores,” M’Rasha supplied for him. “We had oatmeal and Kreyla this morning.”“Okay, good,” Jim said with a nod. “Are there things you can’t or won’t eat?”“No bugs.”Jim’s smile widened. “Okay. No bugs. I don’t eat bugs either.”M’Rasha looked thoughtful. “Some Terrans do. M’Nisarr can’t eat nuts. He is allergic. And I don’t like green leafy things.”“Or apples.” M’Nisarr wrinkled his nose.“You are definitely different than your father then,” Spock spoke up. “The first time I saw him he was eating an apple.”Jim rolled his eyes. “They’re very good for you. But, um, okay. No one has to eat anything they don’t want to. ” He leaned over to speak to Spock quietly. “Can you manage them for just a bit? I’m going to make an attempt to advise Starfleet of the situation.”“Of course, Jim.”When Spock saw that the children were done with their beverages, he suggested he show them to their room so they could unpack their belongings if they wished to.“Is this where we will live now?” M’Rasha asked in a very small voice.“Not permanently, no. Your father and I are visiting my Sa-Mekh.”“Sa-Mekh?” M’Nisarr asked.“It is Father in Vulcan.”“Is that what we will call you?” the boy asked.“Only if you wish. You may call me what you are most comfortable with.”“Is your father now our grandfather?” M’Nisarr wondered.“Yes. That would be Sa'mekh'al.”M’Rasha’s eyes got very large in her pale face.M’Nisarr puckered up, took a deep breath and said, “Same-echal.”“Sa'mekh'al.”“Maybe I’ll stick to grandpa,” he replied.Spock nodded. “That may be wise.”“Do we call him…Daddy?” Her big eyes had turned toward the closed door to the room, but then she looked back at Spock, her bottom lip trembling.Spock sunk down to the floor so he no longer towered over them. “If you want to.”Her eyes welled with tears. “I miss Mommy.”Spock reached out and put his arm around her and to his surprise, she came to him and hugged him, crying against him.“I know you do, little one. And I know she would want you to be happy now that she is not here.”“How?”“I lost my…mommy too.”M’Nisarr had come closer too, Spock noted. It was him who said, “You did?”“Yes. She died in an accident.”“Like our mommy.”“Yes. And if she were here she would be very happy to know you.”M’Rasha stared at him. “Did you cry?”“Sometimes I still do,” Spock admitted. “But you are at least fortunate in that you have your father and me now. Your father is very brave and very wise.”“I don’t think he likes us,” M’Rasha said.“Oh, he does,” Spock assured her. “The thing with your daddy is that he has this huge heart and so much love within him that sometimes he does not know how to express it, but he loves you and he will care for you and protect you in ways that no one ever will or can. And I will too.“And listen, I know now you are sad and afraid. You do not know us and you are in a strange place. This place is not our home. But it will get better. We will find our home together as a family and every day, it will become a little easier.”M’Rasha wiped at her eyes. “Okay. Can…” She bit her lip.“What, M’Rasha?”“Is it okay if I call you Daddy too?”Spock’s heart squeezed. He hugged her tight and then pulled M’Nisarr to him as well. “It is very okay.”
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“Let me get this straight. You have two children, twins, with a Caitian female you had sexual relations with a decade ago—”“Six or so years ago.”“Six years ago who now claims you are the father—”“She doesn’t, she is deceased.”“The Caitians say you fathered these children and now after all this time, you are responsible for them.”Jim leaned back in the chair he sat in at a terminal in Sarek’s office. He had just brought his direct supervisor, Admiral Micah Larson, up to speed on M’Rasha and M’Nisarr. “That’s right, sir.”“And are you absolutely certain they are yours?”“Tests were run, Admiral.”“What do you expect me to do with this, Captain?” Larson sighed. “Children on a starship have not been approved. There’s been talk of allowing it someday, but there’s still a lot of opposition to it.”“Including from yourself.”The admiral sneered. “Yes. It’s no place to raise a child. While we’re not officially a military force, each ship still encounters a great many dangerous situations. You are aware of those yourself. Can you imagine the fate of those children had they been on the Enterprise when Krall and his minions brought down your ship?”The truth was, Kirk agreed. He didn’t think a ship was the place for kids either. But he didn’t much like the alternatives either.“I acknowledge your point, Admiral. And if it’s your decision and that of Starfleet that the children cannot be on the Enterprise, then, we hope that arrangements can be made so that our service can be continued on Earth or some other permanent location acceptable for service to Starfleet.” Like Yorktown, Jim thought, but didn’t say.“We?”“You are aware of my marriage and bonding to Commander Spock, sir.”“Damn,” Larson swore. “So, the Enterprise would lose two good officers.”“If that is the decision, yes.” Jim paused. “Spock and I both desire to continue our service with Starfleet in whatever capacity is acceptable, Admiral. Our only conditions are that we remain together as a family.”“This is not what we signed up for with you, Kirk.”“I am aware of that, sir. But the children didn’t want this either. I’m absolutely positive they would rather have their mother with them. But that’s not possible and I am their remaining living parent. Together with Commander Spock, who intends to legally adopt them.” Jim hesitated a moment and then said, “We are prepared to resign if that becomes necessary or required, sir.”“So, that’s how it is, is it?”“That’s how it is.”“We have some things to discuss. I’ll be in touch, Captain. Larson out.”His screen went blank and Jim grimaced. That went about as crappy as he would have thought. A noise had him turning around.Lurking in the doorway was M’Rasha.“Hey, sweetie. Come here,” Jim beckoned.She bit her lip, looking hesitant, but then she almost skipped over to where he sat. He lifted her up onto his lap, adjusting her tail to the side.“You were raising your voice,” she said.“Yeah. I’m sorry about that. Sometimes when I get frustrated, I do. But it wasn’t at you, okay? I wouldn’t raise my voice at you.”“It was that man you were talking to.”“Yes. That’s my boss.” Jim patted her little arm. “But you don’t need to worry about that or him.”She nodded. Her blue eyes were big in her little face. “I’m sorry it’s hard for you.”Jim’s heart clenched. “Oh, it isn’t. Don’t you worry. I’m very happy to have you and your brother. It was a surprise. But a happy one. The only thing I’m sorry about and sad about is your mama. I wouldn’t have wanted you and your brother to be without her. But me and your…Sa-Mekh are so happy to have you with us.”“He said I could call him Daddy. Is that okay?”Jim smiled. “Of course it is, sweetpea. You can call either one of us anything you’re comfortable with. Listen, I know we’re strangers now, but we won’t be forever, or even for long. And whatever else happens, we’re going to be a family, me, and you and M’Nisarr and your other daddy.”“On your ship?”“Well.” He shifted her a little on his lap as she reached over to pick up a Vulcan ship replica Sarek had on his desk for some reason. Jim glanced at it, but it looked pretty sturdy and non-breakable. “I’m not sure about that. My ship doesn’t really look like that one, though. That one’s a Vulcan one. That belongs to Sarek. Well, um, I guess your grandpa now.”“Do I have two grandpas?”“No.” Jim took the ship out of her hands and put it back on the desk. “We probably ought to ask if it’s okay to play with that.” He pushed some hair out of her face, behind her ear. He couldn’t help but smile at her little cat ears. “My dad died when I was born.”“Oh.” She nodded, biting her lip again. “Do you miss him?”“Someone once told me that you can’t miss what you never had.”M’Rasha made a face.“Yeah,” Jim agreed. “I miss him. Or miss having him, anyway. Miss knowing him. I have my mom still though, so you’ll get to meet her soon.”“You know what that means, Daddy?”For a moment Jim was so overcome with emotion at her little voice calling him daddy, he couldn’t speak. He cleared his throat. “What?”“You and Daddy and us, we all each only have one parent.”“That’s true,” Jim said.“There you are, M’Rasha,” Spock said from the doorway of the office.“Oops,” she said, then laughed.It was a sweet sound.Spock’s lips twitched. “We are preparing to go for a walk.”Jim let M’Rasha off his lap and stood up. “I’m all for that.”She reached for his hand and Jim, sharing a smile with Spock, took it.
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As most everyone that Spock ever knew had done, the children fell into step beside Jim easily. Jim had natural charm and charisma and even children and animals had trouble resisting him.Spock certainly found it impossible. And he had tried.As she skipped beside her daddy, M’Rasha, seemed particularly enamored of him. Spock was pleased by this as she had been so reluctant initially.The children had unexpectedly lost their mother and a bit of caution was to be expected, but children were also very resilient.When M’Rasha and M’Nisarr stopped to admire Sarek’s garden, Spock pushed up to his husband.“You spoke to Admiral Larson?”“Yes and he was as helpful as ever.”Spock arched a brow. “Meaning?”“Meaning I still don’t know if we have careers anymore.” Jim shrugged. “I don’t know, Spock, maybe it’s better if we just tell them to put it where the sun doesn't shine—”“Jim.” He flicked his head in the direction of the children, who were now studying them curiously.“Where does the sun not shine?” M’Nisarr asked.Jim smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Oh on lots of planets. Lots of them.”“Who is Admiral Larson?” she asked.“Daddy’s boss.”“Is he ugly?”“Kind of,” Jim said with a laugh.“Jim.”“Never mind Larson or planets that have no suns. You know, we’re going to have to go visit with my mom too. She’s your grandma. Granny.” He chuckled.“She wants to be called Granny?”Jim laughed again. “I guarantee she does.”“On Earth?”“Yeah in a horrible place called Riverside.”“Jim!”“Okay, okay, it’s not horrible. Your other daddy’s mad at me for saying that. It’s just, not as great as it is here. But you’ll get to see for yourself.”M’Nisarr grabbed Jim’s hand and tugged him along. “Will we live in Riverside?”“Um. Well. I don’t know. Probably not. Maybe, um, a place called San Francisco? We’ll see.”“You met mommy there. She mentioned it,” M’Rasha said.Jim rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Er, yeah.”“Your face is red, Daddy. Is it too hot?”Spock’s lips twitched. “Your daddy does have a sensitivity to heat, yes.”“Probably why he likes planets with no sun!”Suddenly Jim stopped walking and doubled over laughing. The children were startled for a moment, but after a while, though they had no real idea why their father laughed so heartily, they joined him, until they laughed so hard they all fell to the ground.Life was not going to be dull.****“Okay, so here we are,” Jim announced as they walked out of the shuttle bay.The children each had a hold of Sarek’s hands, as Spock’s father had insisted on accompanying them on the voyage to Earth.“Daddy, it does not seem that horrible,” M’Nisarr said, gazing up questioningly at his father.“Uh. Well. Anyway. Granny’s waiting.”Winona Kirk was indeed waiting for them out by a hover car. The children had already met her over a video conference, several times, in fact, but this was to be the first time in person.M’Rasha and M’Nisarr had already been with them on Vulcan for a month now. And though Jim had made an inquiry, so far they had no answer from Admiral Larson. For the moment, they were on an extended leave.The prior evening, after they’d spent some much needed alone time while Sa-Mekh had watched the children, Jim had confessed to Spock he suspected they were through, at least with being on a starship. Spock found he was not altogether unhappy with that idea.Living in San Francisco, with him teaching at the Academy, and Jim working safely at a desk, seemed very appealing to Spock. He only hoped his T’hy’la could adapt to such a life. Perhaps the children would help him.“There you are!” Winona exclaimed, opening her arms wide.“Granny!” They flung themselves hard at her, but she steadied herself and embraced them tightly, all the while glaring at Jim, who smiled serenely at her before leaning in to kiss her cheek.“Mama.”She rolled her eyes and greeted Spock and Sarek with a smile. “Hi there. It’s great to see you both.”“And you as well, Winona,” Sarek replied.Spock was surprised to see her duck her chin and blush before she turned back to the children. He caught Jim’s gaze, but Jim shrugged.The journey to the farm house was a short but noisy one with all the humans and part humans, except Spock, of course, trying to out shout each other.Dinner was a vegetarian affair, for Spock’s and Sarek’s sakes, but also quite boisterous. Jim talked with his hands and the children, ever the mimics, had quickly picked up on it, and copied that and almost everything else Jim did or said.Spock had been teaching them meditation, which sometimes they were able to sit still for, if Jim was not around to steal their attention, and sometimes they were not. But it was time they spent with Spock that he had come to cherish even when they could barely contain themselves.“Hey.”Spock glanced at Jim, who held out his hand. Spock took it. “Yes, Adun?”“Just…you-you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I’m really glad I have you.”He looked at the children who were now engaged in a board game with their grandparents. Spock noticed Winona sat very close to his father. And that his father did not even seem to mind.His brows furrowed. “Is something going on between them?”Jim looked. “Maybe. Is it okay?”Spock nodded. “Just…strange.” He returned to looking at Jim. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me as well. And though it took me entirely too long to realize it, I am…grateful.”Jim kissed him. “And now we have them.”“Yes. And for that I am grateful, too. I am sorry for what befell their mother and their aunt, but I am very pleased to have them in our lives.”“Mm. Maybe we should have more.”Spock blinked. “More?”“Well, you know, a couple of Vulcans. Little Spocks or something. I’d absolutely love that. Oh, my God.”“Jim—”“Oh, we’re going to. I want it so bad now I can’t stand it.” Jim grinned. He shook his head then. “I know. I’m ridiculous. I just want us to have this big family and live happily ever after. Like a fairytale.”Spock brought Jim’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “If that is your wish, O’ Captain, then I will see that it is as you desire.”“Yeah?”Spock pulled him close. “Yes.”“Hey! No cheating, M’Rasha! Granny!”“Now now—”Life was unexpected, Spock realized. Always. But not…unwelcome.Somehow he could envision their big family all in a house in San Francisco. Jim, of course, M’Rasha, M’Nisarr, two little part Vulcan children, perhaps with blue eyes, Sa-Mekh and Granny.