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Lance knew. He knew he’d been oh so very clear with them, all of them. Crystal clear in fact. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that they’d misunderstood what he said. “The moment you say to leave, I’m out.”
He’d even said it in his low and serious voice. After some fight over an op. But he really actually thought they understood. He’d calmly explained that he wasn’t going to wait around for them to let him in, that once they shut him out, any of them, he was done. He was only a liaison, not an official member. They’d all nodded, agreed, said they understood. So why, why was there now a notice, on his desk, at his real job, requesting him back to Paladin headquarters?
“Gonzalez, get moving. I don’t want that weird guy calling here again for you, understand?” Iverson, Lance’s captain, and personal hell hound barked at him from behind a box of jelly fills.
“Yes, sir.” Lance stood and walked stiffly from the room.
The drive over was tense. Not that there was anyone with him, but Lance played every scenario out in his head. Being yelled at, scolded, scorned, mocked, ridiculed. By the time he parked, his knuckles were white and jaw painfully clenched. He had TOLD them. And he’d be damned if he showed up just to sit and take their usual verbal attacks. Sure, he was a bit goofy sometimes, but in their line of work, someone had to keep the air light, keep everyone else from ripping each other apart during more stressful missions.
The Palace was a striking building. Towering over the other commercial site, Lance had always questioned why this was the spot picked for a special unit base. The building was four stories at it’s tallest, though Lance had to admit he’d never ventured into the towers rising from either side of the building. The only rooms he was needed in were located on the first two floors. The entire front of the building was made of mirrored window walling, letting the light in but no passerby could see what was going on past the glass. But Lance knew, behind the glass was a bustling team of support and IT and you name it, all to ensure the Paladin team ran smoothly. The rest of the outer building was stark white, what it was made of was beyond Lance, but it was an eerily beautiful building. The inside had a similar color scheme if he was honest, but all the white was offset with gentle baby blues and industrial silvers. Lance had always thought it was rather space age. He decided he’d miss the strangely charming building.
Steeling himself for the worst, he made his way down the familiar path, to the little bunch of three cluttered desks and one perfectly cleared off. Lance knew that if he went a little further, he’d find an immaculate tech ops center, with a bold-lettered poster on the door, forbidding food and drink. If he turned down the hall, he’d find a gym with a well-worn sparring mat and punching bags. And he knew that all of them held too much to be dealt with at the moment. All that mattered was facing whatever he’d been called in for, and then leaving. Lance pulled himself up to his full height, no slouching, no hiding.
“You called me in, and can’t even meet me at the door, how rude.” He called out from where he stood, loud enough that someone would hear him.
“Ah, my boy, I’m glad you made it. I was worried that something may come up.” the voice spoke from behind him. It was an unmistakable voice, tinged with an unidentifiable accent, and muffled by the most ludicrous mustache Lance had ever had the pleasure of seeing. Coran Smythe, the man in charge of the Paladin unit, and their base, the Palace.
“Coran. You requested me?” Lance turned on heel to face the older man, pushing a smile onto his face and into his voice. Looking into the eyes of the man he’d come to consider family over the past few years, it hit him again, just how fucked up this whole situation had him.
“The team hasn’t been made aware of the… letter you left for me, the last time you were here. I was hoping we could talk about it before they arrive for the day?” Coran motioned to his desk, on the other side of the room partially hidden by the ornate room divider, no doubt from some unpronounceable city in some barely known country. (Coran was, after all, a man of flamboyant taste)
Lance made to follow Coran over, taking in every detail of the room around him, mentally preparing to never see the lavish workspace again. As the two men sat, Coran reached into his desk drawer, retrieving the envelope Lance was all too familiar with. It was years old, written a few months after he had joined the Paladin unit, as their liaison to the Altea city police. Lance eyed it warily, knowing the talk that was about to come.
“I am sure you are well aware of what this particular piece of paper is, seeing as you personally wrote and signed it?” Coran unfolded the paper inside and slid it over to Lance.
“I know what my own resignation letter looks like, sir. As you pointed out, I am the one who wrote it.” Lance took a moment to finger the edge of the paper, reminiscing on how it was he came about to write it, before pushing it back across the desk. “Though, I’m sure if you wanted to keep a liaison position open there would be plenty of volunteers.”
“Hmm, well yes, I do suppose you are correct in that, however. I personally think that this position is suited for you. Perhaps, a few days before we make a final decision? Take some much needed time off. Your last op ended only yesterday, and the only place I could reach you was the precinct.” Coran gave Lance a knowing look, the ‘you should be sleeping and resting not trying to jump back in’.
“If it makes you feel better, I can come back and tell you the same thing that letter says in a few days.” Lance sighed and stood to leave.
“Ah, Lance my boy, perhaps you would like to stop in and visit Shiro, on your time off?” Lance knew, he just fucking knew that wasn’t a coincidence that Shiro was brought up. Of course, Coran would know what brought the letter to his desk. Of course, he’d try and meddle and fix like he always did.
“I don’t think I should be around any of the team. You know, help me make a clear and uninfluenced decision and all that bull.” Thrown over his shoulder as he left, Lance let those be his last words of the day.
Walking from the building, Lance could hear the very distinct sound of Keith’s bike pulling up on the side where he tended to park. ‘Free not a moment to soon’ he thought to himself, as he pulled out onto the street, not sparing Keith’s staring form even a glance.
Lance drove mindlessly, taking whatever turn struck his mood until he found himself far enough away to be content. Parking, he found himself at one of the less popular beaches, large rocks littered the shoreline and beach, making it less ideal for a beach day. But for Lance? It was perfect. Climbing down the barely there path, he let himself get lost in his thoughts, lost in trying to figure out just where it was that he went so so wrong.
It had been a standard op, not even three days ago. Intel on Zarkon and the Galra led them across the country to a strip of desert off Olkari, halfway to Balmerea. A general was setting up camp and their task was to capture and detain. Simple, easy, they’d done these a thousand times. Allura and Keith went in hot, Pidge and Hunk with satellite imaging and Shiro and Lance as their backup.
They were laid out, Lance with his sniper trained on the general’s tent, Shiro keeping general surveillance of the whole camp. Allura and Keith got him without a hitch and Pidge called their transport out. Boom bam done.
Psych. Transport got hit, and suddenly instead of flying they were crashing, and fast. This part, this part is a bit hazy. Too much was happening all at once and all Lance could see was Shiro, pinned to the side of a chunk of metal by his arm. And then Allura was there, and Keith and they were getting him out and… he passed out. Shiro, out cold like someone just flipped a switch.
The rest didn’t matter. They got Shiro out, got him safe. But not in time. To save his life they lost his whole fucking arm. Then it’d been a coma, weeks of Lance standing and sleeping and staying by his bed, begging Shiro to wake up.
It felt like yesterday they’d just moved in together. Just this morning hadn’t they been talking about a family? Now though, now Shiro lay, unresponding. Unmoving.
Lance played with the ring in his pocket as he dwelled on it, all that brought him to the beach and… Shiro was meant to have the ring on his finger. A sign that they were going to make it through everything together. But Lance never got a chance to show him the black platinum ring, with its thin blue opal and… fuck. He’d wasted a whole month of worrying and picking and choosing to be stuck with the stupid ring. Custom made, so why sell it. It wouldn’t mean as much to literally anyone else. The engraving around the inside wouldn’t mean anything, not to anyone but Shiro. Or would it mean anything to Shiro?
He’d woken up, just a few days before. Groggy and slow but... Awake. It was rough, calming him down once he realized the missing arm. Understood the implications. But he’d been getting there, getting better. They’d gone out to a courtyard to eat when Lance missed something. Hasn’t a clue what he missed, but suddenly Shiro was asking a nurse to take him back in. Looking at Lance, shell shock from the change, as he said “No more visitors.”
And that was fine, Shiro needed to recoup, at his own pace. Lance got it. It was tough, had to be tough to lose a limb. Sure as hell couldn’t be easy. Not when being an agent was your life when being on the Paladin unit was your greatest achievement. So Lance left, like a big boy. Packed up the food he brought and went back to work. Got his paperwork done, debated on calling ahead to see if Shiro would like Lance to wait a few days before coming back, maybe bringing one of his books or something. That’s when the rest of the team walked in.
Keith, Shiro’s surrogate little brother. Allura, Shiro’s best friend. Hunk, Pidge, hell even the Matt who hadn’t been in the city for months. Walked in together. Saw Lance and… well, maybe they thought they’d stop talking soon enough. Maybe they thought Lance had gone home for the night. But he heard.
Heard them talking about visiting Shiro. Pidge and Hunk talked about making a prosthetic, or a series, that could keep up in their field of work. Keith and Allura talked about how to help Shiro train, and how this could be an advantage. Matt chimed in here and there, throwing ideas to bother conversations. But what stuck out to Lance? Was that he was never mentioned. In any part of the conversation. But maybe that was just a coincidence. Shiro was their friend first before he was anything to Lance.
A nagging voice in the back of Lance’s head called out though, didn’t Shiro say no visitors? I mean, he looked right at you Lance…
Shiro didn’t want to see him anymore. Just Lance.
He was furious. Moving in together, risking their jobs to be together, risking their lives and what? It all goes away because Shiro got hurt? Did he blame Lance? Because hey, they could agree there. Was it Lance’s talk about leaving the Paladins, settling down? Or was Shiro just waiting for a convenient excuse to wave goodbye?
No. Not Shiro, Lance had to have faith that Shiro wouldn’t hurt him like that, wouldn’t do this to him. So Lance packed up for the night and slipped out. He wasn’t sure who else had stayed at the Palace, but assumably it was Allura and Keith. The gym lights were on and Allura’s playlist was roaring. No Hunk, no Matt, no Pidge. No one to realize Lance had overheard their conversations. So Lance drove, all the way to the hospital, where the parking attended basically knew him by the sound of his car down the block. Up to Shiro’s level, where the nurse on station gave a friendly hello and waved. To the door of Shiro’s room, where the light was on and someone was by his bed.
So maybe Allura was training alone because there sat The Mullet. Keith turned at the sound of someone coming in the door, only to stiffen when it was Lance. Shiro was resting, unaware of what was happening.
“Lance… what are you doing here?” he fought the urge to bite the question back, throw his anger into Keith’s face.
“Just wanted to say goodnight to him. Aren’t I allowed?” Lance hovered in the doorway, not willing to walk further in with Kieth there, but not ready to just leave either.
“You should go, Lance. Now’s not the time.” Keith turned back to the bed.
Lance huffed in annoyance. Keith had never been a fan of their relationship, “Excu-”
“He’s right. You should go.” Shiro’s voice was weak, but it was clear. Shiro was telling him to go. Keith told him to go. But Lance hesitated, hoping. “Lance, go. I don’t want you here.”
And so go Lance did.
So then, here he was. On a rock. At sunset, on a beach, he’d never been too, lost in his own head of where, where he went wrong.
He had tried, so hard, to be supportive. To be encouraging but honest. He was the one who stayed at the hospital every night. The one who literally carried Shiro to safety. Who… fuck who loved Shiro. Endlessly. And Lance had thought it was a shared sentiment. But who was the fool again, always Lance.
Walking back up to his car, Lance decided to take Coran’s advice. Take a few days to himself. He’d just nearly lost the love of his life, and now he was losing his family. What the hell, why not live a little. Climbing into the car, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and took the battery out. If he was really needed, Coran would find a way to contact him. So no phone. Then, he drove. Endlessly it seemed until he came across a little bed and breakfast on the coast. Just a walk from the water, and a cafe down the road. Thank god he carried cash on him, to cover tracks just in case.
Four days Lance decided. Four days would be enough time to just… stop. Stop thinking about what everyone was doing. Stop worrying about whatever he’d done wrong. That was all back in Altea and Lance… Lance was not. Someone else could worry about Shiro or paperwork or whatever else needed worrying. All Lance needed, was a few days before he told Coran that he was done.
But, this is Lance, and Lance can’t turn off his brain if he needed too. So he lay awake that first night. Listening to the ocean and thinking back to those years ago, when he’d told them all so so clearly.
They were special agents, he was unfortunate enough to meet them on a case he was working for ACPD. And Coran had taken a liking to him, drawing him in. The first few months went well, a little tricky, bringing a new member of a team on board. Getting used to new people and new routines. But like every other agent he’d ever run into, they had an issue with his attitude. With his everything. By they, he meant Keith and Allura. Always keeping him on the outside, never quite letting him in.
By month six he’d had it. Ops were getting harder. They trusted him less somehow, never took his advice. Never listened. And this op, this one particular op, needed an old police contact he had. An insider of a low profile gang. And Lance warned the team, warned them that the gang wasn’t as easy as it looked. He knew them, knew how they worked, where their sites were. But did anyone listen to Lance the liaison? Not a chance. And then his contact got brutally killed for being a snitch. Because the Paladin team messed up.
“No. You don’t get to say he was a good man. You didn’t know him, Keith. You didn’t know him but you were damn well ready to just use him. Well congratulations, you are about one-tenth of a step closer to getting Zarkon. But Rolo? Is never going to see his sister again. Never gonna get his niece that art set she wanted for Christmas. BEcause you were careless with a man’s life. And I told you not to wire him. That they’d catch that. But once again, you didn’t bother listening to stupid Lance. But that ends here. I am not going to just wait around for you to feel like you want to start trusting me. You don’t want me? Fine. You tell me even just once to leave, that it’d be better if I weren’t around, then I’m gone. Outa here. You won’t see me again. You brush me off one more time, don’t give me a chance? I’m done. Be it over a case, or you can’t control your god damn temper,” Lance spun to face the whole team, “and this goes for any of you. Once you draw that line? I will not cross it. I will be gone before you know it. You let me in, start trusting me, or I keep moving.”
He’d called himself a shark, if he didn’t keep moving, he’d drown and there was no way in hell he’d let that happen. And they’d understood. They watched him write the letter. Stating that if one of them said he wasn’t welcome, then he was gone. It never came up again. Trust built, they let him in, saw his skills.
He thought that was that. But then he and Shiro just… fell. And things shifted. As Shiro became his life, the others became like family. The threat though lingered. In the back of his head, on the day's everything seemed dark. Lance never thought it’d be Shiro to tell him to leave…
Shiro was in a word, freaking out. He was down an arm, and apparently down a boyfriend. He’d told Lance to go, thinking he’d be back in the morning with coffee and a smile. Only he wasn’t the next day or the next. The third Shiro woke up to Keith and a frown.
“Shiro… Lance is, well Lance is gone.” Keith was never good at beating around the bush, rather the type to jump over the bush and get on with it.
“What do you mean gone?”
“Coran informed the team this morning, Lance handed in his letter. He’s taking a few days to think it over before confirming his decision. Pidge can’t find his phone and Hunk can’t find any records of expenses anywhere.” Keith sat in the chair by Shiro, trying to be as gentle as he could.
“Why would… why would he leave like that Keith? What happened?” Shiro was trying to sit up, trying to get up, Lance could be hurt!
“Shiro,” Keith was pushing him back into his bed, “Shiro, do you remember what you said the other night? When Lance came by?” it struck Shiro now that Keith didn’t seem surprised that Lance was gone. As if he’d expected it to happen sooner or later.
“I… I told him to leave, I wasn’t in the mood for visitors.”
“Shiro. You told him you didn’t want him here. We both told him to leave. Shiro. He left. Like he promised he would, he left.”
And Shiro sat, dumbfounded. It wasn’t that hard to piece together. Of course, Lance left, he told them, as soon as he saw the line he would leave and… Shiro gave him more than a line, he had built Lance a damn wall. And Lance did what he did best. Kept his word and left. Shiro wanted to believe that he held the key to where Lance would have gone but honestly? When Lance said he was going away, he went wherever the wind took him. It was doubtful Lance was even sure of where he was.
And Shiro ached. He was hurting, from losing an arm, from fearing for his career, and where did that get him? Pushing his boyfriend out. The same boyfriend who’d been talking about a family not even a week ago. Shiro just pushed and pushed until he felt alone. And there was no Lance to pull him back. No Lance to smile like the sun and laugh like the wind. No stories about growing up surfing and fishing, no warmth from just the look of pure love in his eyes.
The nurses came and went, doctors, did superficial tests. All the good news sounded dismal without Lance repeating it back. Pidge designed the perfect prosthetic, and everything was going just like Lance said. Without a hitch. But there was a hitch. A hitch shaped like a Lance sized hole in Shiro’s life.
“Shiro, you seemed lost in thought. Should I leave you to them?” Coran always knew just when to show up and save Shiro from himself.
“I fucked up. I… Lance is my everything and I wasn’t even thinking and now I lost him. Not just for me, for everyone. I… I really fucked up Coran. How do I fix this?”
Coran just looked at Shiro for a moment before sighing. “My boy, I think you know the only way to fix this.” When he was met with only a blank stare, Coran continued, “Lance has seen the line drawn, Shiro you must convince him there is no line. I will warn you though, this is no easy task.”
Coran had made his way from the door to the window on the side of Shiro’s bed, looking down at the people below, he continued. “You know better than anyone what type of man Lance is. He sticks to his word, won’t go back. Not without good reason. He handed me the very same letter you all watched him write years ago. To him, all of this is just falling into place.”
“But he has to know, that I would never actually want him to… that I, I love him. Without Lance by my side, there is no reason to keep fighting!” Shiro was getting worked up, angrier at himself and the whole damn situation. The stupid crash taking his arm, stupid emotions and walls he built, stupid insecurities over what his life was going to become.
“Then fix it, Shiro.”
Hunk was panicking. Sure, maybe he wasn’t as close with Lance as say, Shiro, but they were buds! Had weekly culinary nights where they traded recipes, went surfing together on Saturday mornings, they were friends. So the fact that Lance was a little bit missing? And by a little bit, of course, that meant that somehow Coran knew where he was but wasn't’ sharing, and Lance’s phone was off and it’d been days! Days!
But Hunk was doing his best to remain calm, to keep his cool. So when he got home to his little bungalow, and there was a light on, maybe he started to shake. When he heard singing from inside he rushed through the door, because only one voice could belt Shakira like that.
Lance was in his house. Dancing and singing, and very obviously drunk. The only solace Hunk found was the lack of Lance’s car, meaning he didn’t drive himself.
“Lance, bud, what's going on? How’d you uh, get here?” Hunk approached the still humming man with caution because a drunk officer with a gun was never a good idea to startle (the bullet hole in his guest room is proof of this, but that's a story for another time…)
“Hunk! My main man! Its culinary night! We’re making crepes and you’re gonna show me how to make your kick-ass poke and that rice and oh man I was so excited I had to come!” Lance was bounding around the kitchen, pulling out flour and eggs and milk, getting ready to make the feast they’d planned last week.
“Lance, bud… before we start cooking, wanna tell me where you’ve been?” Lance stopped at that and turned around to face his teddy bear of a friend.
“Up the coast. I wanted a few days before I tell Coran I’m out for good, and like I’d planned on avoiding everyone ya know? Making the decision with a real clear head but then I started thinking ‘bout Shiro cause I saw a bunch of stray cats and I got sad and then drunk and then! I remembered it’s Thursday! Hunk time!” Lance had slowed down, coming to a near halt as he talked. But he continued, softer than before, “Hunk, please don’t make me leave you too. I… I lost Shiro, I don’t wanna lose my best friend too…”
The pain and sadness in Lance’s voice broke Hunk’s heart. “Lance buddy, what happened? Why’d you need to leave?”
“Shiro and… they told me to go. He said he didn’t want me there so I. I left. Just like I promised you I would I just left. They drew the line… I had to go, had to keep moving.”
The pieces were falling into place for Hunk. Why Keith didn’t seem surprised when Lance didn’t show up. Why he wasn’t pressing to look for him. Why no one was allowed to go see Shiro. And Hunk? Hunk was brimming with rage. How dare they, how dare Keith let this happen, how dare Shiro tell Lance to leave like that? Hunk knew about that damn ring Lance kept in his pocket, knew that Shiro was just waiting for the right ring to buy for Lance. Hunk knew that this was a fucked, fucked situation. But that's beside the point. What mattered now was Lance, poor hurt Lance, who was breaking under this. Who needed someone to want him around.
“Lance, bud, you know you are always welcome here. I would never ask you to leave. Never make you go away. You are my best friend. I will always want you around.” Hunk pulled Lance into a crushing hug, letting the smaller man sob into his shoulder.
They stayed like that for a while, Lance letting everything out until he stilled and pulled back.
“Hunk, do you think that maybe, I mean what if I… maybe he didn’t mean it. Maybe he was just upset and scared about his arm and… Hunk do you think Shiro actually really meant it?” It was that small voice again hopes just barely leaking into it. And Hunk’s heart soared.
“I think you both have been under a lot of stress. I think Shiro was scared and hurting and he assumed you’d bounce back to him.” Lance sniffled as he looked up at Hunk, who continued on, “But I also think that what he did was wrong. And he should suffer a little more, should come to you with an apology.
He hurt you. You don’t need to go to him, Lance. But, will you stay here? With me? While you sort this out? I worry when I don’t know where my best bed is.”
Lance nodded and hugged Hunk again. “Maybe… we should put off tonight's feast, and go to sleep? Does that sound good bud? You should drink some water and get some rest okay? I’ll clean up here.” Hunk sent Lance off to the guest room and sighed. There was more than just the kitchen mess to be cleaned this time. And Hunk? Well, he is the king of cleaning up messes made by their team.
That's how he finds himself on the phone in hushed whispers at two in the morning. Sitting on his front steps, planning and plotting to make things right again. For Lance and Shiro and the whole team. How Hunk finds himself a few days later waking Lance up, pushing him to shower and shave, helping his friend look a little less broken. It’s how Hunk finds himself fighting with the smaller man, an unmovable object meeting an unstoppable force.
“Hunk, buddy, I can’t go. He told me to stay away. I… I have to respect that.” Lance was leaning against the door, trying to keep Hunk out of the room, fearing he’d be dragged to the car.
“As I said about six times already, we aren’t going to the hospital. We’re going to the Palace, so the rest of the team can see that you’re all right. Please, Lance. I promise you, we aren’t going to the hospital.” Hunk was about losing his mind. He knew his friend had a habit of assuming the worst, but all he wanted was to get Lance to the Palace, where the rest of the team was.
It took nearly another thirty minutes of back and forth before Lance finally gave in and came out. Hauling himself into the car, he once again braced himself for the worst that would come. Sure Hunk was by his side and knew part of what happened, but there was still so much that could go so horribly and awfully wrong. Keith could tell him to leave, Shiro could have meant when he said, Allura could brush him off, Pidge could let him know just how replaceable he was. Every scenario played through his thoughts as Hunk mindlessly chattered on their way to the Palace.
“Lance, buddy? You gonna get out of the car or…” Hunk had unbuckled and opened his door before he realized that Lance hadn’t reacted to the car stopping.
Lance looked up, startled to be facing the Palace, with all its mirrored glory. He honestly thought it’d be a few more days before he had to face the building and all the memories it held again.
“Yea, sorry bud. Lost in thought for a moment there.” Slipping into his cool and controlled front, a soft smile made its home on his lips. He could do this. He could face everyone and say his goodbyes then slip away as if nothing happened. He could just, leave. They were used to people coming and going in this line of work. Transfers and injuries kept things in constant change. He could leave. Lance could walk out like he swore he would.
Right?
Hunk smiled back a sad sort of smile. He knew how hard Lance was trying to be okay with everything. But things would be okay, Lance would see. They were more than a team. They were family and family didn’t just walk away from each other. Sometimes, a family says things they don’t mean, and thats okay. As long as they take it in stride and work to fix what was damaged. And Hunk was good at helping people see what needed to be fixed.
“Lance my boy, you’re back earlier than I thought.” Coran greeted the two at the door, a smile hidden beneath his beast of a mustache. The poor man had no idea what Hunk had arranged, and a shock was definitely in order. But Coran knew that in the gym there was an anxious team, more than ready to see their missing friend.
“Yea well, who can say no to Hunk?” easy, Lance thought to himself. This was going to be a breeze. Just smile and chuckle when needed. Nothing would go wrong.
“Laaaaance come on, I don’t have all day.” Hunk beckoned over his shoulder, making Lance pick up his pace all while trying to figure out just why Hunk insited he come along.
They made their way past the desk cluster and the ops center turned down the hall and…
“Lance…”
Shiro had been doing… Not Worse.
Physically he was getting better, Pidge’s new prosthetic worked like a dream, and he was slowly relearning how to use his arm. He was talking with psychologist and therapists and anyone who would listen really. Learning about the hardships he may face, how to maintain his new arm, all the fun stuff that came with powering through.
But mentally? He missed Lance. It had been… too long since he’d seen him last. Since Shiro messed everything up, and he was terrified that the longer he waited, the less likely it was that Lance would listen to him. Would give him a chance to explain and apologize. And Shiro wasn’t dumb. He knew he’d have to regain some trust there, knew there’d be a strain on their relationship. But they would still be well, them. Togher. Shiro and Lance, Lance and Shiro. And that was all that mattered.
He calmed down a little when news came from Hunk. Lance was alright, staying with Hunk. But Shiro was spared no detail of how Lance came to be staying there. Knowing that Lance was so broken up… drove Shiro to get better and stronger faster. So he could prove that he was worth a second chance. But it also gave him hope. Hope that Lance would hear him out. Shiro knew what happened when Lance wrote someone off. They didn’t exist to him anymore. When he wrote someone off, they were gone from his whole world. Shiro couldn’t imgaine not having Lance in his future. Not seeing that goofy smile when he rode a wave when he managed a pin or the laugh at his own jokes…
But he had to make this right. And that, that is where Hunk was a godsend. Late at night they’d talk and plan and scheme, Hunk guiding Shiro, keeping him in check. Apparently, a big romantic gesture like a skywriter maybe “ too much at the current moment” (Shiro disagreed but, he was also on a time budget) and so they planned. Shiro made extra effort to clear and pass all his tests and examines so he could be discharged, and Hunk kept Lance together reassuring him when time passed and Shiro didn’t reach out.
Finally, finally, Shiro was discharged. He could go, leave the damned hospital that was driving him crazy and finally see his precious Lance. As long as Lance would see him that is. Hunk had been very sure that the idea would work, that Lance would be willing enough to go to the Palace and he could surprise him there. But Shiro held back a bit on Hunk. Couldn’t let Hunk know everything, because sometimes, Hunk couldn’t keep a secret to save a life. (No, really. He nearly got killed by a mole in the unit for almost spilling a secret. It was nasty, Lance got very mad and insisted Hunk took up some type of self-defense.)
No, Shiro had kept a part of his plan secret from Hunk. Instead, he’d sent Keith to the jeweler to pick up his special item. A wooden band with two thin inlays of purple opal. It was perfect for Lance. And yes. Maybe proposing after hurting Lance so badly was a questionable choice, but at the end of the day, Shiro knew Lance. Nothing short of his everything would convince Lance to give him another shot.
And it wasn’t like it was sudden. Not like Shiro felt pressured into proposing because of his injury and all that happened. He’d been planning this for a while now. Having the ring made took some time, keeping it away from a very nosey Lance… no, Shiro wasn’t doing this out of guilt. This was his way of showing just how serious he was about Lance. And there was still one more surprise up his sleeve.
So he waited. Patiently, in the gym of the Palace. Heard Lance talking to Coran, heard him walking closer and closer. Shiro’s heart was in his chest no more, but his throat. This was it, his chance to fix his stupid, stupid mistake. His chance to pull Lance into his arms and never let go. And he would not blow it.
Lance walked into the room, framed by sunlight and… “Lance…”
Lance froze. There, on the mat in front of him, was not the team like he’d been expecting. No, there was Shiro, looking so… tired. But the smile that lit up his face, god Lance was hit by how much he loved the idiot. He was drawn forward into the room, only to look back and see that Hunk was no longer by him. A setup.
“Lance, oh god Lance…” Shiro’s voice was soft as if he was afraid that Lance would run away. And the option was still tempting, but hell. He made it this far.
“Shiro… you got your new arm.” this time his smile was real. The prosthetic was very… techy. Pidge was written all over it, in sleek black chrome and silver details.
“Oh, um… yea I guess.” That wasn’t what Shiro had expected, but it was also a fair and major thing to observe. “Lance, Lance I am so, so sorry.” just jump out and say it, Shiro, don’t hold back, embrace your inner Keith.
“Shhh, it's okay, we don’t have to talk about it. You were hurt, I was tired…” Lance could see the tears forming in his love’s eyes and if there was anything he hated, it was Shiro being sad.
But apparently, his words had the opposite effect, as the tears spilled over. Lance slowly approached Shiro, and as soon as he was in reach, pulled the crying man to him. He stood, soothing and murmuring while holding him close.
“Don’t leave me. Don’t, I can’t lose you, Lance, please please don’t leave me. Stay, with me and with the team and just… don’t leave.” Shiro had wrapped his arms tight around Lance, begging him in a coarse whisper through his tears. And Lance kept soothing, agreeing to stay as long as Shiro wanted.
“I’m not going anywhere big guy, I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
They stayed wrapped up in each other for a few moments more before Shiro pulled back. It was now or never. He stepped back from Lance, taking in the mildly confused glint in his blue eyes, and the sudden shift to shock as he got down on one knee.
“Lance Gonzalaz, will you do me the greatest honor of being my husband?” He pulled out the sleek ring, holding it up for Lance to judge, to answer.
Only to be shocked when Lance joined him on a knee, pulling a ring from his own pocket, “As long as you do the same big guy.” and there, right there was that smile Shiro had fallen in love with. Not quite ear to ear, but genuine and sure. Those big blue eyes shining with tears to match is own.
Exchanging the rings, the two men wrapped each other in hugs again, laughter escaping them both. Just as Shiro knew Lance, Lance knew Shiro. But Shiro wasn’t quite done yet. He pulled away after a chaste kiss lain on Lance’s forehead.
“I’m leaving the Paladins.” Lance looked up in sheer shock, his mouth agape.
“You can’t leave the Paladins! They’re your family!” Lance tried to argue more, but Shiro hushed him and continued.
“I’m leaving the active unit, in favor of taking up special training here at the Palace. I’ll be training new recruits. While you go out and save the world.”
There was an unspoken part to Shiro’s statement, one that they both heard. He was stepping back to heal more, to cut back on the risk of being brought closer to death than he already had been. He was giving himself a chance at a real life with Lance.
“Lance, I know you think I’m giving up, but this is so much better suited. You can go save the world with your smiles, I’ll be here, training your back up. Keeping you safe from home.”
“No. Shiro… I. I wasn’t going to stay either way. Its time I left too. I can’t take it much more, being out in the field and losing people.” Lance looked around the room, anywhere but Shiro. “I was going to talk to Coran about a position on the legal team for the Palace. You know they always need more help, and that’s where I started in law enforcement…”
Shiro tilted Lance’s chin back to look him in the eyes and smiled. “I think that is a wonderful idea.” and kissed pulled the shorter man in for a sweet kiss.
They both ended up off the field but supporting their friends. Shiro took over new training regiments, for both current and prospective Paladins. He did not go easy on them, giving them the constant reminder that out on the field, safety was never guaranteed. Lance worked first with the legal department, getting them out of trouble, and when Pidge left ops to do field work, he was quick to join Hunk in technical field support. Always on com and in touch with his family, keeping them from getting into to much trouble.
They got married almost a year later on the beach. Keith and Hunk were both best men, and Coran presided over the marriage. They took a few weeks to go to Hawaii and just be two happy husbands. They adopted two cats and a dog, and eventually, a little boy.
And Lance? Lance made sure that he was very, very crystal clear. Made sure that no one would ever forget what he said, drilled it into their brains every day.
Lance loved his family. Lance would never, ever let anything push him away from his family again. And Shiro? Shiro would never push Lance away again.