A Car Race for the Ages

“We got the Hawks’ Agency, the Idaten Team, and the Best Jeanest Team.” Dizzy rattled off. “The Night Eye Agency and the Fatgum Agency are teaming up for this one.”

“Awesome!” Izuku grinned. “What’s our vehicle situation?”

“Top of the line, what else?” Sighed Bizz. “You can’t head into a hero charity car race and not have the best equipment. We got the best of the best, courtesy of Dizzy and I.”

“Lovely. Let’s leave these other heroes in the dust!”

“Does Tamaki-senpai even know how to drive?” Kirishima asked as his dark-haired senor geared up for the upcoming event down bellow on a circular driving track. He was dressed in riding leathers and had, sadly, needed to put on shoes for the race.

“He does have a driver's’ licence, but I doubt he get’s much use of it.” Fatgum said, watching as he chowed down on some race-track popcorn. He offered the bucket to Kirishima, who took a handful gladly. “Stunt driving like this is going to be so far removed from actual driving though, so I doubt it’ll make any difference.”

Tamaki put on the helmet and crawled in feet-first into the car, starting off at a leisurely pace. Beside him, BubbleGirl would be running interference for the other racers from the passenger side.

“We’re probably not going to be taking a spot in the top-three, are we?” Kirishima asked.

“More than likely, no.” Nighteye said rather monotonous. “But at the very least we’ll be making a good amount for our respective charities, regardless of who wins.”

“I gotta admit, I’m a little sad I can’t take part,” Hawks sighed sadly as he shuffled through papers. “I know Kanri and Hana are going to do fine, but still.”

“If you actually went through with it, your chicken wings would catch air and make you fly off.” Endeavor rumbled lowly, flipping through his phone.

“True.” Hawks pointed at the red head. “And plus, no drivers’ licence. I’ve always just flown.”

“How sad for you.”

“Why aren’t you piling in on this?” Asked Hawks. “You’d be a huge draw, you’d be donating to charity, it’d awesome PR…”

“Are you kidding?” Endeavor scoffed. “I’m nearly fifty years old. I’d just be seen as the old man trying to run with the youths and none of my team have licenses either.”

“Hn...Yeah, suppose that makes sense.” Hawks hummed.

“Are you sure about this?” Asked Best Jeanest on the radio. “You’ll be going up against your mate, wouldn’t you?”

“Why the fuck would I be doing this otherwise?” Bakugou replied over the radio as he sped around the track, weaving through the cones and making sharp drifts with a wild, sharp grin on his face. “Deku is strong, but I’m the fastest around! His strength ain’t got nothing on my reaction time!”

Jeanist sighed slightly. This car was going to be totaled in the first third, wasn’t it?

“The Iida family has always been known for speed,” Tensei hummed serenely. “It would be a shame to lose a speed-based competition, isn’t that right, honey?”

“We’re gonna smoke ‘em out and freeze ‘em dead.” Fuyumi said firmly, her storm-grey eyes alight as she smacked the roof of her car. She would be driving with one of Tensei’s heroes in her passenger seat.

“I...er...forgive me, Fuyumi-san. Are you...able to drive in such a race…?” Asked Tenya.

“Her multiple speeding tickets say that yes, she if fully capable of racing. And road rage. And possibly an assault or two if she gets out of the car at any point in time.” Shoto intoned helpfully.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Tensei gushed as Fuyumi sped back off in her chosen car.

“

HELLO and WELCOME to the third annual Street Race Event! We’ve got a lotta heroes here today, some of them familiar and some of them new, and all of them are itching to race!! Who’s your favorite to win, Kyuchi-kun?!”

“It’s hard to say, Takabayashi, hard to say! We’ve got so many newcomers that any one of them could take it! My personal hope is for Ground Zero the of Best Jeanist Agency, but who knows? Could be that lovely Todoroki-san on the Idaten team, racing on her husband's behalf! It’s going to be an exciting day, that much is certain!”

“What are your thoughts about racing against Katsuki?” asked Dizzy as their healer put a hand to Deku’s shoulder blades. Lines scored down his back in the usual pattern, indicating that one of Deku’s mates had been clawing him the night previous.

“He’s been excited about it,” Deku said, back arching as he stretched. “I have to beat him, or at least make it as close as I can if I do lose. Kacchan is gonna get

mad at me if he even thinks that I let him win on purpose, so I have to go twice as hard.”

“Did he scratch the shit outta you to hold you back?” Asked Lizzy.

“Nah, I think that was just him trying to tire himself out so he could get a good nights’ rest for today. He’s not the type to cheat in anything.” Deku sighed, pulling his white wife beater back down. “Is Bizz ready?”

“He’s been ready for hours.” Dizzy said, pointing down the private car park where all the participating heroes were waiting to launch. “It’s kind of adorable, to be honest. He’s been jittery and hopping like mad.” Every agency was feilding at least three seperate cars, Idaten alone was putting in seven separate cars, but the One for All Agency only had one, due mostly to Fizz hating cars with a passion and Lizz and Dizzy needing to stay on site as support.

“Nice, I’m excited too.” Izuku chuckled, jogging down the line of cars to get to theirs. “Be ready for us, alright? We’re putting on one hell of a show today.”

Thirty-eight cars lined up in two lines. Everyone had been randomly organized, so Izuku had done some trading in order to get the spot that was in the back line, direct in the center, swapping his front-left spot for the one he wanted.

Now, this admittedly made little sense.

Middle of the line meant that a lot of people would be trying to get there to avoid running into the side walls, in the back meant that there would be a fraction of a seconds’ worth of disadvantage. But Izuku knew what he was doing. Izuku very much knew what he was doing.

Shoto came down from the stands to give Izuku and Bakugou a good luck kiss. “So who’s your favorite to win?” Bakugou asked, arms crossed and clearly expecting Shoto to choose him.

“Fuyumi,” Shoto said without hesitation. “Both of you can crash and burn for all I care. I just want my sister to make it out alive.”

“Owwww, my heart.” Izuku said with a laugh, clutching a hand to his chest. “Shocchan, don’t be cruel.”

Shoto snorted a slight, smiling faintly and shaking his head. He put a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder. “Don’t bite off anybody’s head,” Then he put a hand on Izuku’s forearm. “Don’t somehow break every bone in your body. Both of you do this, and I’ll be happy no matter who wins.”

“No promises,” Both Izuku and Bakugou said at the same time. Bakugou turned sharply to glare up at Izuku.

Izuku held up his hands in surrender. “I promise not to break my bones.”

“Good,” Both omega said, before everyone parted to take their places.

Izuku went to their car, a green, black and white striped thing that was similar to Izuku’s hero costume, and Bizzy doing a few final adjustments to the mechanism in the back seat. “You ready to annihilate the competition?” Izuku asked, picking up his helmet from the front seat.

“Iz, I was

born

ready.” Bizz declared, standing up straight. He lifted a closed fist to Izuku. “Let’s do this.”

Izuku grinned, and tapped his knuckles against Bizz’s. “Hell yeah!”

“THREE.”

The starting stadium was almost as quiet as the grave, with only the distant ring of a bell to signal to the drivers to prepare themselves.

“TWO,”

Engines revved, the growing anticipation was palpable as the gates rose to let the cars through.

“ONE,”

A few cars jerked, starting a second too soon and spinning out. They would be penalized five seconds’ from their ending times, regardless of if they physically crossed the finish line first.

“GO, GO, GO!!”

Everyone who didn’t go too soon started off, throwing up a massive cloud of dust.

Except for one. The green One for All car, which hadn’t moved, revved or spun out.

“What’s this? The One for All car, was there a mechanical failure?!”

The roof of the car opened up like a clam, folding back like a convertible as loud music spilled out, a bumping, heart pounding base. In the back seat was Bizz in a mechanical exosuit that was connected to the car, wearing his mechanics suit (as he was never much of a frontal hero and always running support, he didn’t really have his own hero suit). He rose from the back seat, his butt settling on the back of the car with his feet in the actual seat, wearing a Deku-like filtering mask as the exosuit flashed, making a green-tinted energy shield over his head and shoulders. Behind him, twenty separate tentacles spread out like the tail feathers of a peacock.

“Lets go.” Bizz said, hands on two joysticks in both hands, like the type pilots often had in their planes.

Izuku grinned underneath his helmet, hitting the gas and pressing a switch on the inside, their car starting off and going from 80-MPH from 0 in two seconds flat.

“*Bsst* Beware, Sun Eater! A monster is coming up quick! Fall back a few car lengths as far from the center as you can!*Bsst*

“*Bzzt* Ground Zero, your boyfriend is a monster! *Bsst*”

*Bsst* Fuyumi, get to the outside!*Bsst*”

Radio calls were rippling through the mass of cars that raced through the empty streets of the city.

“The fuck are you going on abou-” Bakugou trailed off, eyes lifting to see the green car in his rearview mirror. “Holy shit…”

Izuku’s car had been stealing tires off cars they passed, causing them to spin out uselessly, heart-pounding base going all the while. It was barely music, more like an audio attack. Bakugou’s teeth grit, realizing that ahead was the first turn too. “Hold on tight, shits gonna get real.” He warned his passenger, a slighter older hero with a ink-spilling quirk she could use to either slick the road or blind opponents, reaching for the e-break. He turned into a master drift as a few other cars started to slow down to take the turn, accidentally falling into Izuku and Bizz’s range of attack

In the first two minutes of the race, Izuku had already eaten up a quarter of the competition.

Instead of attempting a drift, Bizz held onto the ground with five of his tentacles, slinging the car around the corner on two wheels and keeping it’s speed and getting ahead of several cars. Bizz lifted from the seat, his suit turning around so his back was to Izuku and he was facing the ones behind them.

“*Bsst* Don’t tell me that kid has a gun!!*Bsst*”

Bakugou almost flinched, hearing Fuyumi’s voice over his supposedly private radio line.

“

*Bsst* No guns,”

He heard Bizz say, one of his tentacles going low, facing Fuyumi’s car down.

“Just some creativity and ingenuity.*Bsst*”

“*Bsst* How the hell are you on my line?!*Bsst*”

Fuyumi demanded just as the tentacle let out some sort of liquid that stuck to Fuyumi’s tires like fly-paper on a cat’s paw. “

*Bsst* What the-?! Teuchi, take the wheel for a second!!*Bsst*”

Bakugou then heard Izuku’s ever familiar voice over the same comline. “

*Bsst* Bizz thought it would be too easy to win, so he hacked into and connected everyone else's’ lines so you could coordinate to take us out. If you can take us out.*Bsst*”

Bakugou sneered.

“*Bsst* Pride is a sin, Deku.*Bsst*”

A laugh echoed across the now-connected comlines.

“*Bsst* Stop being so charming, Kacchan. I might have to kiss you once this is all over.*Bsst*”

“*Bsst* Disconnecting us from the lines, the rest of you are still tethered together. Much luck, but not too much. *Bsst*”

Bizz interrupted, before being cut off.

“

*Bsst* Was he serious? Does he not hear us now?*Bsst*”

Asked Sun Eater.

“

*Bsst* From what I know, yeah.”

Bakugou said.

“Bizz loves a challenge, the little shit.*Bsst*”

“*Bsst*Then let’s fuck ‘em up!*Bsst*”

Fuyumi declared, apparently having recovered from the fly-paper substance Bizz had thrown at her. She’d frozen her tires and the substance had thankfully cracked and fallen away while her passenger was driving, Fuyumi’s foot remaining on the gas pedal the entire time.

“This just in!! Henry Jenkins of One for All Hero Agency, AKA Bizzy has on-the-fly hacked the radio communication lines!! Is this legal?!”

“All quirks are allowed in this fight, Takabayashi! Bizz’s quirk is Hyper Intelligence, so it’s fully acceptable so long as there wasn’t any preplanning involved!”

“Oh no,” Shoto muttered softly, staring up at the large screen where a helicopter was following the action with a camera. “Bizz is showing off again.”

“Is that an issue?” Iida asked.

“When Bizz shows off, he goes all out.” Shoto said, a hand on his face as he watched. “He has next to no self-restraint when he’s got a stage.”

The roar of engines was being slowly drowned out by humming base beats. Izuku had on rather intense ear protection and was protected by a light energy shield, but the shaking was slowly making his eyes flutter. The ‘music’ was a warning, letting everyone around them know that they were near just by the shaking of their teeth. It was yet another handicap that Bizz had insisted on, warning other drivers while slowly driving Izuku crazy and Bizz into a migraine.

Bizz had screens projected onto his green-tinted energy shield, and was watching the live feed from the helicopter from above to check the positions of everyone in the race. He’d stopped stealing tires five minutes into the half-hour race track, it would seem too one-trick-pony to the watching crowd, and had focused on defense for the next five-to-ten minutes, helping dodge spots of slick ink from Bakugou’s car, directing which cars to drive past and which to break-check by getting in front of them, quickly slowing down and then speeding back up so their bumper would give a little, frustrating love tap to the car behind them and they’d have to see Bizz laughing above them.

But, Bizz spotted something out the corner of the livefeed.

Police cars, chasing after someone in a stolen speedster down a road that had coincidentally crossed a corner of the helicopters, but the news casters had apparently not noticed them in the heat of the race. “

*Bsst* Dizzy, police report!*Bsst*”

Bizz commanded over the com.

It was a moment of radio silence before DIzzy spoke up. “

*Bsst* Villain attack, a team of baddies hijacked a research facility and stole some important drug. Police think they’re trying to replicate it and sell the patent overseas for extortionist pricing.*Bsst*”

Bizz almost wanted to cry. They were just getting to the top five!! He heard Izuku say over the comm, the wind too loud to hear him in person. “

*Bsst*Sorry buddy, maybe next year. Lizz, Dizz, suit up and try to cut them off, we’ll chase after them. Fizz, provide drone support.*Bsst*”

“*Bsst* Yes, Boss!!*Bsst*”

Came the chorused reply.

“What’s going on?! One for All is going off course!! Is it a short cut?!”

“No, I think...They’re going after a villain!! They’ve abandoned the race for a fight!!”

Bizz used his tentacles to lift and hop over the barriers that kept them inside the chosen track, making a near full 180 degree drifting turn and spinning the wheels for a hot second to get them on the right path down a barely-used street, rushing down it and towards the distant sirens.

Bizz had new projections onto his shield, three drones being controlled by Fizz, a dash cam of Lizz and Dizz’s car, a large map overlay with all their positions on it, and a video feed of the race in a corner. He still very much wanted to see who won in real time…

The only issue was that the damn helicopter was following them!! He patched into their radio signal after a moment of annoyance, shouting at them over the wind.

*Bsst* Go back to the race!! I’ll give your stupid tv channel a live link to the dones anyway, idiots!! I wanna see if Katsuki wins!!*Bsst*”

He demanded of the pilot and news crew, and thankfully they kindly fucked off back to the race.

Now, back to the task at hand…

As they passed by the police, the police slowed down. They saw that they were heroes, and were content to let them do as they pleased with the situation.

Just in time too. Liz and Diz were just about to come up to cut the villains off, speeding just ahead of the villain to clear the road of civilian traffic, using a combination of highly compressed air blasts and a smaller version of Bizz’s Doc Oct tentacle machine run by Dizz as Lizz drove.

Bizz reached out with his own tentacles, grasping onto the car bumper which loosed rather quickly, then onto the body of the car, Izuku slowly starting to slow down once he saw that Bizz had a good grip on the car.

“I can’t lift as much in these!!” Bizz shouted over the havoc. “I sacrificed strength for dexterity, I couldn’t control twenty of my normal arms and still have them haul the same amount!”

“Alright, can you still take the tire?!” Deku shouted back.

Bizz reached for the back wheels with two arms, the grabbers sparking slightly against the hubcap, trying to get a good grip to pull the wheels off so Izuku could decellerate.

“

*Bsst* Warning, there’s a T-intersection just ahead, you’re gonna drive right into the ocean!!*Bsst*”

Came Fizz’s frantic shout over the coms.

“

*Bsst* Left or right?!”

Lizz shouted.

“Left or right?!*Bsst*”

“

*Bsst* You go left, Bizz, Swing ‘em right!! *Bsst*”

Came Izuku’s command.

Bizz didn’t have time to give the usual ‘yes boss’ affirmation, as the guard rail came up suddenly and Lizz veered left, the side of her car slamming and denting the rail as it scraped past with a cringe-inducing shriek of metal grinding against metal. Bizz swung, pulling at his joystick piloting gear to swing the damn villains towards the right, scraping their tires against the pavement so bad that they actually scraped off and were detired completely, leaving them only on their rims on one side of their car.

Izuku drove them to a stop, getting out of the car as the bad guys crawled out, having been shaken up pretty badly by the chase, subsequent terror that they were being hunted down by Deku and his team, and the rather violent, nauseating way they were forcibly slowed down.

Being tossed around like the toy of a temperamental toddler was not very fun.

Izuku picked them up and held them out to Bizz, who wrapped a tentacle around them to hold them until the police arrived, pushing the car to the side of the road as those few civilians who were driving and got pushed out of their way got out of their cars to applaud.

“Well, we didn’t win the race but we did our jobs. Gotta be worth something, right?” Chuckled Izuku, sitting in the driver's seat with his feet on the pavement outside.

“Bleh. Guess so.” Bizz stuck out his tongue, slouching in his tech Exo-suit seat as the police came. “...Still a little mad though…” He pouted, arms crossing tightly over his chest.

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” Lizzy said, walking up to the two with Dizzy not too far behind. “How about we head on over to that bakery you like after processing and have a movie night at the base tonight? Project on the pool wall and break out the inner tubes and kiddie pools to float on.”

“...Star Wars?” Bizz asked hopefully.

“Whichever one you want, even the prequels.” Lizz nodded.

“You know, aside from the hokey acting, the prequels are actually pretty good, I mean the way they characterized Darth Maul is really fascinating, especially in that scene where he paces like a lion…” Bizz kept on going, his friends listening in to his ever-familiar rant as the police pulled down the villains and retrieved the stolen drug.

Bizz was actually asleep in the back seat by the time they got all the legalese over and done with, Deku had to produce his licence, provide proof that they were a part of the race, and assure the police that the modifications on their cars aren't technically illegal because it was made for an event and wasn’t their everyday ride.

They drove back to the car park and were greeted by a dozen or so heroes and sidekicks with raucous congratulations and a bunch of ‘good job!’s.

“So, who ended up winning?” Deku asked, leaning against the boot of his car.

“I did,” Bakugou huffed, clearly annoyed. “And now I’ll have to wait another damn year to challenge you again and see if I actually won or not.”

“Awe, Kacchan.” Deku laughed, wrapping his arms around his blonde boyfriend. “I can’t wait to race you again. No stops next time, I’ll absolutely destroy you.”

Bakugou let himself be held, pointing up at Izuku with a leather gloved finger. “That’s what you think, damn Deku! I’ve seen your stupid tricks, I’ll be ready for you next year!”

Deku kissed him. “Looking forward to it.” He hummed, smiling.

“Deku, they’re looking for you!” One of the organizer’s called. Izuku was changing out of his riding leathers, looking up with confusion.

“...why? I lost, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but they’re still tracking the time. You’re still gathering seconds.” The organizer said, shrugging. “They still want you to cross the finish line.”

Izuku laughed a slight, shaking his head. He peeked into the back, and saw the Bizz was still fast asleep and snoring. “...Eh, alright. Guess it’ll be quick.”

Izuku’s car came out of the car park to a roaring crowd, who’d been waiting the last hour to see them finish. The roof was down, and cameras were clearly focused on the back seat, to Bizz napping away like a kid on a road trip. Izuku crossed the finish line, and then backed up to cross it again in the right direction.

The One for All Agency’s time displayed on the board. As they’d taken out so many early in the game who couldn’t finish, they weren’t absolute deadlast, but they certainly weren’t anywhere near the top.

And, Izuku was pleased to hear, that the crowd was chanting as they ‘finished’ the race.

“BIZZ! BIZZ! BIZZ!”

Bizz jolted awake after the announcer started up again.

“AND HERE WE HAVE IT!! THE ONE FOR ALL AGENCY WITH A FINAL TIME OF ONE HOUR AND THIRTY-FOUR MINUTES!! GIVE IT UP FOR IZUKU ‘DEKU’ MIDORIYA AND HENRY ‘BIZZ’ JENKINS EVERYBODY!!”

Upon hearing his name being chanted, Bizz’s ears went red, his head ducking in a very slight, but still immensely pleased, embarrassment. He smacked at Izuku’s shoulder from the back, silently asking him for cover. Izuku merely laughed, and started back towards the car park, the chanting growing ever distant as they left the starting stadium.

Bizz was happily treading water in the pool, an innertube tucked under his armpits as he floated from one side of the pool to the other as Fizz set up the projector and speakers. All around him, friends were doing much the same. Dizzy had gotten a large kiddie pool to float inside of, with blankets to snuggle up in with Fizz, as the cat was not very fond of floating in actual water for hours. Izuku and Lizz were sitting in a two-person tube that was shaped like an 8 with a drink thing between the two of them, butts-first and feet in the water while leaning back and lounging, waiting for the movie to start.

No mates tonight, just good old friends taking a mental break from a slightly disappointing day.

As the opening credits rolled and Fizz got into the floating kiddie pool with Dizzy, Henry ‘Bizz’ Jenkins was happy.

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