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Tulipa Estella Rijnveld ~ A tulip whose soft white petals are stained with a crimson pigment.↞↠↞↠↞↠
The putrid sounds of screaming and bones cracking were gradually soaked up by the trees and replaced by the stillness of the evening. The painful newfound silence of the countryside left an eerie calm over the two scouts. It only amplified the ringing in Levi’s ears.

The thumping of your horse’s muddy hooves against the hardened spring thaw beat in time with his throbbing head as kept their backs turned from the massacre.

Any sound was better than nothing, though, otherwise the silence would make him hear their foul cries.

Your tongue-severing shrieks.

In his arms you laid limp, the only sign of life your slight breaths that just barely caressed the bottom of his chin. He had memorized the timing between each modest puff. Whenever it was delayed by mere seconds the ringing in his ears ebbed closer to his brain.

He would squeeze your side instinctively, something he would usually do to wake you up when you slept in too late. Only this time instead of your hand in his it was your blood staining his palm.

Battling pure disassociation upon finding you, he had managed to tie your coat securely around your waist to apply pressure to your bleeding side. Despite his best effort, leaks of crimson stained the edges of your blouse as you rode. His left hand was glued to the cloth over your wound, pressing so securely that his fingers began ripening into pins and needles.

His other hand grew white knuckled as he held the reins, his grip the only thing that kept him from floating off that damned horse.

His eyes flicked to the beast’s muddled neck, hair torn by timbered daggers and mane laced with caked blood. He was grateful he had lost his horse in the chaos instead of you; you loved the animal too much for Levi’s liking and he knew how devastated you would be when you woke up and it wasn’t there.

Fuck, once we get to town you better wake up,

Y/N.

Your bleeding seemed to slow, giving him minor peace of mind, as you galloped through a pine grove. Emerging from the thicket, the last obstacle blocking your path to safety materialized on the horizon. The towering structure of Wall Rose was baked pale in the waning rays of light, it's untouched bricks proudly protecting those who resided inside. Levi wasted no time in grabbing the guards’ attention the moment he reached the barred gate.

“LET ME IN.” He bellowed, his voice scattering the crows that rested on the railing of the wooden lookout post.

Though he was extremely winded, his command was firm. There were some muffled curses and the sound of glass shattering before one guard peaked his head over the edge, making eye contact with Levi’s impatient form below. To say he was startled was an understatement.

“C-captain Levi?” He called out in disbelief. The guard looked from the captain to the limp body in his arms, eyes widening in shock when he saw the remnants of your profuse bleeding.

“Captain Levi is here?” Another voice slurred from behind the first guard. A second soldier appeared, rushing over to lean heavily on the railing and gawk in awe.

“Hey, Captain! What are you doing all the way here at Krolva? What an honor, do you have a minute? My niece is a big fan and if I could get your autograph I’m sure she would really appreci-” He rambled excitedly before being cut off by a brisk slap from his comrade. He stumbled from the railing with a groan, clutching the back of his head in pain.

“Are yer eyes still workin’? Can’t you see he’s a little busy for that.  He’s riding with a wounded soldier, idiot.” His more sober counterpart scolded. They soon got into a drunken argument about how to address superior officers, especially ones with pressing issues. The more their pointless conversation droned on, the more Levi’s anxiety level rose. If he was delayed any longer he felt like he was going to shatter like the soldiers’ discarded beer bottle.

“I don’t have time for your shit!” He exclaimed. Your horse had begun to sense Levi’s urgency and started pawing at the ground and pacing restlessly in front of the gate.

The guards immediately halted their chatter and turned their full attention to him once again, looking like scolded children. There was a brief silence, broken by a single hiccup.

When the guards would later tell the story to their comrades, and eventually Commander Pixis, they would swear that they saw the devil himself within Levi’s eyes.

“Just. Let. Me. In. The. Damned. Gate.” Levi seethed, voice dangerously low. The guards exchanged nervous glances before scrambling to make the call that would raise the iron bars. The second the gate creaked upward, your horse was ready and bouncing on his heels. When the opening was just large enough to fit his body, he bolted through.

Time had no meaning anymore as he weaved between stalled carts and yelping pedestrians. His eyes were on the prominent steeple that jutted out like a sunflower among dandelions from the jagged edges of the residential buildings. After rounding corner after corner and navigating the winding side streets he pulled back on the reins at the front of the aged church. The grim sight that befell him festered at his already gaping heart.

Sickness hung so thickly in the air that Levi felt it seeping into the pores of his skin. Hoards of ill residents congregated outside of the newly deemed hospital. Ymir’s stoney outstretched arms beckoned them to be herded like sheep into the eglise by their shepherds donned in nurses uniforms. So slowly were they being admitted that Levi could ascertain that the establishment, as grand as it looked on the outside, would not be able to harbor all of them. The mob groaned, wretched, sputtered and seemed to move as one undulating blob of disease.

Levi’s face contorted as the stench of bile singed the inside of his nose. Every one of his brain cells was scolding him for even contemplating the idea of having you treated at a place with such levels of contamination, but by the fucking walls he had no other foreseeable option. He kicked your horse briskly in the gut, abruptly trotting away to confront one of the nurses.

“You have to let me in. She’s bleeding out and needs stitches now.” Levi ordered with the remaining level-headedness he had hanging by his pinkie. His sanity was flowing out of him at the same rate blood was leaving your body. But he would not let his emotions influence his body and mind. The nurse’s eyes widened to the size of eggs, obviously overwhelmed by the sheer ghastliness of the situation.

“Captain Levi?!” She exclaimed in disbelief, first at the sight of the infamous soldier and then to the paling body clutched in his arms. Levi was aware of his so-called “popularity” but he swore he was going to explode if one more person acknowledged his name before the critical state of the soldier in his embrace. The nurse’s eyes darted to Levi’s bloodstained palm and she let out a small gasp barely audible through the cloth. Her eyebrows furrowed and Levi could infer she was frowning deeply.

“Sir, I’m sorry but we are at full capacity.” Her smooth voice was muffled by her mask. “A recent outbreak in the eastern district has us overwhelmed.”

Her excuse passed through one of Levi’s ears and right out the other. Every minute he sat here idly was another precious minute of life drained from you.

“You absolutely don’t have anyone that could treat her? Or- just give me some goddamn stitches and I’ll do it myself!” Levi demanded, tone flaring at the latter half of his proposal. The nurse gulped and shook her head somberly.

“The capital has been limiting the export of medical supplies to selected districts, including Krolva. We are maxed out now due to the illness...I’m afraid we can’t offer you anything.”

Levi dug his hand into the reins and tugged at them in frustration, making your horse skitter sideways. The scouts prided him in being one of the most rational members of its legions, which was a gift he was honing into as his head spun so quickly with what little options he had left. Uncharacteristically irrational thoughts tempted him, however when a splash of floral color caught his eye just behind the nurse’s shoulder, it clicked.

He was in Krolva.

Krolva was near your home village.

You had family here.

Family with a distinct profession.

He stared at the ornamental tulips in the church yard for a moment before whipping his head towards the nurse.

“The tulip farm. Where is it?” Levi’s simple inquiry held the esteem of a military order of the utmost importance. Anticipation bubbled up within him as the nurse sputtered at his seemingly random change of subject.

“Um-The Vogel Estate is located slightly out of the city. If you go through the gates of Wall Rose it's about a half an hour off the main road. There are signs for it you can’t miss.” The nurse instructed, pointing in the direction of the gates. Levi nodded once and was about to turn your horse around when the nurse let out a sound of protest.

“Wait!” She said hurriedly. She looked around nervously before reaching into her dress pocket, pulling out an ivory handkerchief and a small vile. Her gloved hands reached out to you looking at Levi for permission to remove his crimson caked hand.

“This saline won’t do much, but it will minimize infection.” She instructed, carefully lifting Levi’s hand. As she peeled your jacket back, sticky blood attempted to reconnect his limb to your side. Her breath hitched at the severity of your wound. Levi wondered what horrific images played through her mind as she gazed upon the titan’s bodily painting. After pouring the contents of the vile onto your torn skin, she tightened your jacket once more and grasped Levi’s hand to place it over the fabric.

“This should keep more dirt from getting into her wound and irritating it. Keep applying steady pressure; thankfully it looks like you have been doing that already.”

Levi looked from his hand to her eyes, grateful for the sympathy that they held despite his frustration.

“Thank you.” He said curtly. Then, tugged on your horse’s reins and with one swift kick was off towards Wall Rose. To his relief, the gates were wide open as merchants filed through them. He deftly rushed past their inventory checks, unsympathetic to the whines in protest when your horse’s side rammed into a cart resulting in the spilling of an expensive keg of whiskey.

The signs to the estate took him through a picturesque village that made him question if the both of you were even residing in the living world anymore. When the crisp clacking of hooves against the brick road manifested into drum beats on the earth, Levi had a small sliver of hope he was finally nearing his destination. Crop fields turned into whistling lakes of wheat; the euphoric rolling hills were laughable in comparison to the bloodbath you had fled from.

Levi only had a vague idea of where he was headed. His mental map was painted by fond childhood memories and other stories of your youth. Based on your descriptions the place you talked so much about couldn’t be hard to miss.

You had taken Levi to Krolva once, a little less than a year ago he reckoned, on a rare scouting legion day off. However, you were unable to stay at your family home due to a myriad of circumstances. He wouldn’t have admitted it but a sweet, syrupy nervousness would churn in his stomach whenever you would talk about introducing him to your family and the other intimate aspects of your childhood.

He had, indeed, already met the closest members of your family. One a scout that Levi was quite familiar with and the other the owner of this estate. He could count on one hand the amount of times he had met her and could say with the utmost certainty that it perplexed him beyond hell how you two were related. The fact that this was the first time you two were going home together, well the irony was ludicrous.

Humble houses continued to litter the landscape and he regained some confidence in his surroundings. Levi began analyzing each structure as your horse sped past, hooves hitting the stone path with the intensity of gunshots. His frantic mind began convincing himself that he was in fact in the wrong location when he saw the subject of all your musings.

Tulips.

A vast ocean of tulips that extended so far they seemed like they could caress the horizon.

Levi had never seen such a sight in his life. He was never able to fully comprehend the pristine scenery you always described but seeing it laid out in front of him had enlightened his mind. On the other side of the road from the floral sea sat a grand house, its elaborate frame sticking out against the rural landscape. Levi urged your horse on with a firm kick, a pained whinny erupting from his belly.

Upon reaching the structure your horse slid to a stop along the dirt path of the front yard. The homestead was silent except for your horse’s labored panting. Not even the sparrows that nested along the siding of the ornate porch chirped or rustled about. Levi took advantage of the quietness to make his presence known.

“H-HELP!” He shouted, his voice faltering like rocks from an unsteady cliff. His throat wretched painfully in response. He was far too used to being on the receiving end of this plea and it made him sink even more into desperation that this time the roles were reversed. The stillness lingered just a moment before the grand door swung open with a force that sent it bombarding against the siding of the house.

“Y/N!” A woman cried from the porch, her bellow echoing over the high arches. She hurried down the steps with a spryness that betrayed her age, barely gripping the long skirts of her turquoise dress. As she neared, Levi was faced with the distantly familiar features of your grandmother.

“What in all hell happened, Levi?” She exclaimed with viscous horror. Her face contorted into various morphs of worry and disdain with each new angle she viewed of your mangled body.

“Y/N...she-” Levi wheezed, but his throat was too dry to formulate a proper sentence. His voice was cracked and his shoulder was numbing to the point where he was beginning to lose feeling. Your grandmother exhaled and collected herself, a wave of determination fastening like a uniform onto her being.

“Shit. No time for my questions, we need to get her inside

now

.” She stated firmly, releasing the reins from Levi’s locked grip. He nodded and allowed his hands to rise to your shoulders to pass you off to the woman. To his delight instead of fresh blood, a layer of dark liquid caked his palm. This meant you hadn’t bled a significant amount since the hospital. He let out a shaky breath as the woman gathered you into her arms. You fell limply into her embrace, her knees buckling a bit at your weight but she quickly regained her posture. You looked like a corpse, washed out and utterly dead looking, which made Levi want to throw up.

He never threw up.

As your grandmother began carrying you inside, Levi lifted his leg to dismount your horse but winced in pain. He hadn’t noticed his own injuries due to your condition but now that the initial wave of adrenaline had started to ebb they were catching up to him. When he landed the dismount he was met with an electric sting along his shoulder blade. The pain was just an annoyance though in the grand scheme of the situation. The one thing that mattered the most in his life had almost been torn to pieces. His shoulder could wait.

He began to hobble towards the front door, leading your horse along with him. He let go of the reins just shy of the porch steps.

“Wait here.” He coughed. There was of course no way your horse would understand him, let alone obey him. Knowing that animal it most definitely wouldn’t stay in the same place Levi left it.

Making his way into the house he paused in the entryway, taking in his surroundings. The foyer ahead of him was spacious; a large staircase laid directly in front of him and tall archways to both his sides led further into the lodgings. The quarters screamed quaint luxury; from the high ceilings, the perfectly intact pearl colored walls, to the elaborately carved hand railings of the stairs. He knew your family was well off, but he didn’t expect your house to be this economically endowed based on your modest descriptions.

“Up here, quickly.” The woman called from the second floor, consequently snapping him from his daze. Blinking a couple times he charged up the stairs, taking the polished wooden steps two at a time. Once at the top he saw an open door to his right, one of many along the hallway. Just like the rest of the house the room was big with wide windows letting in the evening sunlight and casting a warm glow across the chamber.

You were splayed across silk sheets, the smooth linen now dirtied by your blood and god knows who’s else's. Your shattered form contrasted with the affluence of the room and he felt like he had just walked into your funeral service. Your grandmother was seated at your side next to the nightstand. She had a variety of medical supplies set out across the small table; needles, thick thread, cotton, alcohol, steel scissors, gause.

“Help me adjust her.” She requested in a low tone. Levi nodded once before walking to the opposite side of the bed and gingerly grasping your shoulders. She had laid you haphazardly on your side, unable to properly lay you straight due to her old age. Levi was impressed nonetheless, however, that she had carried you all the way up those stairs from the front yard. He moved your body so you were laying on your back, arms against your sides. Not wanting to get in her way hei planted himself on the bed at your other side.

“I’m thankful that you brought her here.” She said as she cut away pieces of your shirt with the scissors. “But why in holy hell did you not bring her to a proper medical facility? Half of her got torn up by one of those fuckers.” She exclaimed, her voice quaked with emotion but her hands remained steady.

Levi was taken aback slightly by her flavorful vocabulary.

“Apply pressure to her wound while I get the stitches.” She instructed, immediately padding about the room to gather her medical supplies. Levi did as he was told and cringed when your flesh squelched under his palm.

“The hospital at Krolva was full, they wouldn’t let us in because of the outbreak.” Levi explained in a voice uncharacteristically small. His gaze remained fixed on his hands. Damn, his fingers were twitching.

Your grandmother slammed a bottle of alcohol down on the nightstand in disgust. Her weathered arms shook slightly at the impact.

“That damned hospital, if you can even call it that, is never prepared to take on the ailments of this city.” She spat. Now having gathered all the necessary items she pulled the stool from the vanity and set it so she was level with your side.

In the fray he hadn’t been able to get a proper look at your injury. Your grandmother had removed your jacket and bunched your tattered shirt just under the swell of your chest. She examined your torso with seasoned eyes, yet the undertones of worry weren’t unnoticed by Levi.

Your exposed torso looked like someone had taken a rake to it; indigo bruises framed a sea of tattered skin in the shape of a crescent moon. Your body bent in at an unnatural angle where the titan had bitten down on your side and Levi was just thankful that he couldn’t see any bone. Seeing you in this crippled state caused tears to sear the inside of his eyes but he refused to let the floodgates burst. This was not the time to be weak, especially with this woman here.

“Don’t go crying on me now, shorty. I know you aren’t the soft type.” Levi jumped at the familiarity in her tone. He had just arrived under such dire circumstances and now she was calling him names and was talking as if he was an old friend. But it was oddly comforting; the boldness and confidence in her voice eased away some of his jitteriness. He huffed in response before watching her work again.

Your grandmother used gentle fingers to assess the wound, gingerly prodding the areas where you should have had skin but didn’t. She then reached for the cotton and alcohol and began to clean the wound as much as she could; the large teeth shaped holes in your side would be difficult for any trained physician to work with. But she handled the medical supplies with a grace Levi never considered possible. When she was finished cleaning your side she spoke up.

“She’s unconscious but she could still accidentally bite her tongue.” She stated, standing from the chair to rummage through the carven dresser. Out of the top drawer she pulled out a leather belt. She returned to the bedside and handed it to Levi.

“Place this in her mouth. I’m about to start stitching her wound.” She instructed, cutting a long piece of thread with the steel scissors. His fingertips brushed your jaw as he guided your mouth open. He folded the belt in half two times and placed it between your teeth, careful to keep your tongue along the bottom of your mouth lest you started to choke.

Once he was done, Levi studied the woman’s hands as she prepared the needle. Her fingers were wrinkled, coarse, bent at the joints, and they looked like they had endured a lifetime of hard labor. Those aged fingers performed with precision and finesse from the moment the needle entered your skin to the tying of the final thread.

Your body twitched each time skin met needle. Levi couldn’t have looked away even if he wanted to as your jaw clenched on the leather.

“Talk me through what happened.” Your grandmother said without a wavering of her concentration.

Had she sensed his uneasiness? Levi swallowed hard, the action painful on his parched throat. His whole body stung with exhaustion as he prepared to explain. When he spoke again his voice was still hoarse but not as jagged as before.

“What was planned as a routine expedition turned into a recovery mission for Eren-”

“Mhmm, the boy who can shift into a titan.” Your grandmother interjected, mostly as clarification for herself. She attentively continued to thread you back together as if you were one of your chewed on stuffed animals sat atop your dresser.

“Yeah. Y/N’s squad was set to clear out any incoming titans on the western edge. That’s when the abnormal appeared. I saw the flare and-” He explained, almost in a whisper. Damn did his throat hurt. Damn did everything hurt.

“You acted out of order.” Your grandmother stated simply. A knowingly somber smile upturning her wrinkled mouth. Her words and the soft manner in which they were said caused Levi’s mouth to hang agape mid sentence.

“Which I am grateful for. Otherwise she might have died alone out there.” She added. Her expression was as even as her handiwork but Levi could see that in her eyes concern was brewing like freshly charred coals.

“A ripe piece of shite it is that this is the longest conversation we’ve had isn’t it?” Your grandmother huffed a dry laugh. Levi could only nod in response as he watched your jaw clench once more when her needle deftly plunged into a heavily bruised area.

She was right. The other times he had interacted with the woman were brief and professional. Both were at military events that left little room for idle chatter, seeing as she was a highly praised veteran of the garrison. One interaction occurred before you two were committed and one...well that awkward experience could not have been far enough from the forefront of his mind.

It took thirty minutes for the woman to piece you back together but it felt like a fortnight for Levi.  When she was finished she exhaled loudly and wiped her hands on a now stained crocheted dish towel.

“All done.” She stood and placed her hands on her hips. Levi couldn't begin to thank her enough for all she had done in such a short amount of time. The curvature of your hip was unevenly swollen with taught stitching and peppered cauterizing gauze pads. The fact that Levi could even see the distinct outline of your side was a welcoming sight.

“Thank you, for everything.” He coughed, thus sending a wave of pain down his shoulder blade.

“Well, what kind of grandmother would I be if I left my granddaughter as the remains of titan fodder?” Your grandmother clicked her tongue.

“Thank you, son. For bringing her all the way here to me.” She added with a genuine smile. “Come on, let’s get her in some clean clothes and wash some of this blood off.”

Levi nodded once and proceeded to help your grandmother get you changed. When the two of them had finished you almost looked back to your normal self; your body tucked under the covers in an elegant ivory nightgown. Your features were soft, plush lips parted and breathing steady. You now fit in with the lavish ambiance of the space. He couldn't take his eyes off of you. That is until he felt a poke on his arm.

“It won’t do either of us any good if we just sit here staring at her. Come downstairs, I'll make you some food and stitch you up too.” Your grandmother was looking up at him sternly. Levi shot her a confused glare and she met his gaze with another chuckle.

“You don’t hide your wounds very well, humanity’s strongest. Now come on, don’t make an old lady wait.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa Princess Irene ~ An eye-catching tulip whose unique lavender markings on apricot petals make it unforgettable to any who gaze upon it. ↞↠↞↠↞↠With one last glimpse in your direction, Levi followed your grandmother out of the room. Just as he was about to ascend the stairwell he was met with a gasp. Your grandmother was hunched over the railing, eyeing a suspicious piece of material.“Is that a piece of titan skin on my mahogany railing?” She shrieked in horror, craning her neck to look at Levi who stood bewildered at the top of the stairs.“And you got my floor all bloody.” She complained shaking her head. “Honestly, I didn’t think you would have the audacity to leave your disgusting boots on while walking through a lady’s house.”Levi stared at her in disbelief. Is she fucking serious? Y/N was just bleeding out and she’s worried about her damned floors being dirty?His glare remained cold and unwavering but he felt anger swell in his chest. He dug his nails into the wood of the railing and his pupils dilated. Before he had time to do anything, however, she suddenly burst out in a hearty cackle.“Hah, gotcha. Don’t get your panties in a twist, shorty, I’m just teasing you. That was a test and you passed. Good to know you care about her health more than cleanliness. You can help me clean it up later, we are going to be spending a lot of time together after all.” Then she waddled down the stairs without sparing a single glance back.Levi was dumbfounded. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack from the combination of the lingering shock of the expedition and all the palpitations your grandmother was giving him. No amount of formal training, combat or political, could have ever prepared him to deal with this woman.He followed behind as she scuttled through the archway to the right of the foyer. This room was the kitchen. It was open just like the rest of the house; windows decorated with cream doilies framed by dark paneled walls and a large island counter with stools in the center. The style of decor was modest but the layout screamed extravagance just like the previous rooms. Every space he entered he couldn’t help but gawk at its contents, it was far nicer than any place he had ever called home. He felt so out of place; like a poorman who had just walked into the prince’s quarters. This uncomfortable feeling kept him standing in the entrance; hand nursing his torn shoulder as another streak of red hot pain traveled up his back.“Why are you standing there all hunched over like that? Are you sulky because you don’t get to get stitched up in a king size bed with pillows sewn with love and a cutie little nightgown? This kitchen isn’t as luxurious but I promise I’ll get the job done just the same; so get in here.”He reluctantly entered the room and scooted into one of the stools, the metal bottoms scraping against the timbered floors as he took a seat. He rested his head on one hand while the other massaged his shoulder.“Haven’t spent proper time with my granddaughter since walls know when and this is hardly the reunion I was imagining." Your grandmother muttered as she lit the gas burner on the iron stove. Levi watched the tiny blue flames dance into existence before settling into a warm orange.“How long do you think she’s-” He attempted to ask, the tone of his voice rising significantly before it cracked.“Going to be asleep?” He croaked.“By Ymir, are you going through puberty again?” She snorted and Levi’s features became icy.“You like tea don’t you?” Levi nodded slowly. She didn’t look at him to check his response as she stood on her tiptoes to grab a glass from a higher shelf and the kettle from the side of the stove.“Of course you do. My girl goes on and on about how it’s your life force.” She filled the kettle up with water before placing it on the burner, the stray droplets sizzling when they came in contact with the open flame.“I’ll make you some tea with ginger root, that should help your sore throat. But for now drink some water, you sound like you’ve been huffing cannon smoke.” She filled the small glass with water and handed it to him. He gratefully accepted it and hummed in satisfaction when the cool liquid soothed the fissures in his throat.“And to answer your question; I don’t have a damned clue. That gash on her side is beyond nasty. Her body is going to need a lot of rest to recover from all the shock, trauma, and blood loss she’s undergone.” Your grandmother placed a smaller kettle on the counter.Levi watched as she sifted through her tea cabinet, swearing under her breath when she couldn’t find what she was looking for. For someone who was in the later years of their life she had remarkable posture. She carried herself with a confidence that retained her youth. She dressed simply, donning a long sleeved dress of a muted navy color, but aspects of her clothing reflected her wealth. Her shawl looked as if it was made out of cashmere; a commodity that not many people outside of Wall Sina had access to. She looked nothing like you, and her personality was sure as hell different. Her long silver locks were braided and wrapped into a neat bun at the top of her head. Her features were chiseled; a high brow ridge and straight nose were supported by a strong jawline. The only physical similarity you shared was your eyes. They shared the same structure, although yours were a little more almond shaped, and sparkled with the same excitement.“Take off your shirt. Your boots, too, while you’re at it.” She commanded out of the blue, dipping a needle into a bottle of alcohol once and shaking it.Levi was reluctant to undress, even though he knew he had to eventually. He never had any problem disrobing for the corps’ medical staff, unless it was Hange; he only let them near him if they didn’t have scissors in hand. That was story for another time.  But this was your grandmother. It felt weird .Levi hesitated at her request. She pursed her lips when she got no response.“Relax, you’re not my type. Too short and toned. I like my men lanky-” She looked him directly in the eyes while she snipped the surgical thread.“-so I’m able to snap them in two.”This woman was truly an enigma. Levi’s mind couldn’t process how she could switch from sweet to salty within moments. He found himself more at a loss for words in these last few hours than he had been in his entire life. And he’s not a man of many words.Y/N please wake up quickly . He pleaded in his mind as he unbuttoned his shirt.He then shrugged it from his shoulders, hissing when the fabric scraped against his wound. Your grandmother came to his side and examined his exposed back. The gash stood out against his pale skin, the area surrounding it dappled with light bruising. She pressed a cold fingertips to the area, goosebumps freckling his skin in response.“One of those big nasties barely grazed ya, if your position had been a couple centimeters to the right you probably wouldn’t have a spinal cord.” She mused, threading the needle through the surgical thread. What lovely images your grandmother painted with her words.She dabbed a washcloth in the alcohol and began ridding Levi’s gash of the dirt and dried blood. His features contorted when the stinging liquid met his skin. Her cleaning was abruptly halted with the shrill scream of the kettle filled the room.“Oh! The tea is finished.” She squealed, leaving her place at Levi’s side to take it off the burner. She then appeared before him and pushed the mug into his empty hands. The hot spice of the liquid hurt his chapped lips as he drank. But damn did it feel good. His whole body was blanketed in a serene numbing.“Alrighty-you want the belt? You shouldn’t need it, though, it's not that deep.” She offered. Levi shook his head and took another sip of the tea.“Okay, ready shorty?” She asked, pressing her hands to his back.“Yeah.” He replied breathily, relaxing his muscles in preparation. Then Levi felt a pinch, followed by a tug, and then a dull burning as she weaved the needle in and out of his skin.“So is my tea up to par with what you drink back at headquarters?” She spoke up after a moment.“It’s good.”“Just good?” She huffed and gave him a ginger slap on the shoulder.
I’m glad Y/N didn’t inherit her personality. She’s too fucking much to deal with.
“Hmm what was that?” She pulled the needle just a little too hard for Levi’s liking. He gasped and sucked a breath inward.“I didn’t say anything.” He winced, gritting his teeth as she entered a particularly tender area.“Now you’re starting to sound normal. You have a sexy voice, I see why Y/N likes you.” She cackled into his ear. Levi faltered and coughed, tea burning his throat as it entered the wrong airway. She took so much enjoyment in tormenting him and all this relentless teasing was going to push him past his breaking point.“Why don’t you tell me a story to pass the time? Although your wound isn’t deep, it’s going to take me a little while to get it all cleaned up.”“I don’t know any stories.” He responded blandly.“I didn’t mean tell me a bedtime story. I wanna know about you and Y/N. That way I can get to know the person who is courting my granddaughter.”She let the request sink in before speaking again.“How did the two of you meet?”“Officially?”She hummed in agreement.“She was delivering paperwork for me and she knocked over a box of my tea.” Levi explained, a small smile dancing across his lips. Your grandmother let out an artificial gasp and Levi clicked his tongue.“Clumsy girl.” She chuckled, pulling the thread taut. ↞♞♘↠Stop being nervous, Y/N, you’re just dropping off some papers and then you can leave right after. Your hands on the stack of parchment felt clammy and you picked the edges of the paper uneasily with your fingers.Confident and assertive. That’s what your grandmother told you to be before you enlisted in the corps. However you found it difficult to live up to these words as the recipient of these important documents scared the absolute living hell out of you. You had been sure that because your cousin was constantly in his presence he couldn't have been that bad. The few interactions you had with him had been surprisingly unpleasant, though, and were ones that hadn't left you with the best taste in your mouth when it came to him. It didn't help either that the horror stories you had heard from other cadets made you skin crawl. As long as you look like you can kick someone’s ass, you can. You repeated another one of your grandmother’s mantras in your head as you knocked on the large wooden door with a firm hand.  Nothing.You knocked again, this time slightly louder, and abruptly drew into yourself as you awaited a response.Nothing.Maybe he’s out? You thought, contemplating coming back later. You waved the idea off, however, as your squad leader had told you to meet them back at the training grounds immediately after you dropped the papers off. And they intimidated you too, although not to the extent of the Captain. You began to get jittery as you tried to think of the best thing to do.Maybe the door is unlocked? I’ll just sneak in, drop the papers on his desk and run out. If he blames someone for breaking into his office he can blame Squad Leader. The plan seemed foolproof in your mind.Wrapping your hand around the door knob you hesitantly turned it clockwise. A crisp click broke the tense silence, signaling that the door was indeed unlocked. To your delight you pushed it forward cautiously, the wood creaking painfully loud as you did so.Before entering the vacant quarters you poked your head in and scanned any visible inch for tiny officer before calling out. Yet again you were met with silence. You swiftly padded to his desk and stacked the parchment neatly in the middle, taking caution not to knock over the inkwell or misplace any other of the contents of the table. Fighting against your conscience, you found it irresistible not to to look at the contents of the office. You were already in here, and if the universe was on your side, would never have to come back here again. Despite your fear for the man, you harbored an immense curiosity for him. Everything about him was shrouded in mystery; from his childhood to his enlistment to even just his favorite book. So, while you were here why not just have a quick look and then be gone?Only the main room, though. You thought, gaze falling on the door to his private quarters. If he found you in there you would surely be skinned alive.Your eyes floated from the bare and spotless walls to the velvety fuchsia couch, to the brick fireplace, and finally to a small distinctive box on what you presumed to be his tea cabinet. You gasped in surprise, stepping closer to get a better view. It sat right next to a beautifully painted porcelain teapot among other boxes of tea in his collection. The tin was very familiar to you; your grandmother’s favorite tea. The box depicted a metallic hunter, bow poised at his shoulders ready to shoot tea soaked arrows at his target. It was like laying eyes on an old childhood friend and you couldn’t help but smile.“Oi Cad-” A low voice broke the stillness of the room, causing you to squeak and slap the box of tea right off the shelf. It’s top fell off with a pop and the ground tea leaves scattered across the floor. You stood there, mouth agape, frozen in fear. Maybe if you didn’t move you could dissolve through the floorboards and fade into another dimension.“What. The. Fuck ?” He seethed, though his composure and expression remained devoid of emotion. His words made you shiver and you shakily straightened up.“I-Captain I’m so, so so sorry. I came to deliver these documents because Squad Leader said that they were very important so it felt weird holding onto them for such a long time and then I saw this tea that I used to drink as a child and I swear I wasn’t trying to take it and then you startled me-”“Just-stop.” The Captain held one arm out while the other rubbed his forehead in frustration. He looked like he was trying to collect himself. You sucked in a breath and awaited for your imminent death. Although it didn’t come as swiftly as you had presumed, and in a last ditch effort to redeem yourself in whatever way you could you spoke up.“Let me clean it up, please!” You pleaded, your hands clasped together in front of you.The Captain removed his hand to look at you and nodded his head in approval. When you made eye contact it felt like your soul was about to climb out of your body. You exhaled the breath you had been holding and picked up the tin and neatly placed it back on the shelf. Meanwhile, the captain had fetched a broom and a dustpan from the closet. You gratefully took them.As you started to sweep the pellets of tea into a pile the captain took a seat at his desk, sinking into the chair with a tired exhale. He grabbed the top document and read it over, still expressionless. He mumbled  fucking request forms when you swept the last pebble of tea into the dustpan. Rising, you moved to the corner of the desk to dispose of them in the trash can.“Um, these go in there?” You asked, pointing towards the closet and the captain grunted in affirmation. It looked like he had gotten over his initial anger which eased your beating heart.“Why were you touching my tea in the first place? Trying to steal it, Cadet?” His sudden comment caught you off guard, the dustpan fumbling in your fingers.“N-No not at all! I was just admiring, I swear. It’s my grandmother’s favorite I just wanted to take a closer look…” You trailed off as you placed it neatly in the closet, shutting the door. He looked at you, his features set in stone so you couldn’t gage his reaction. You wondered how he would look with emotions. You weren’t going to stick around to find out.His brows were so furrowed that they almost met his metallic eyes. His intensity made your intestines twist around each other. "I-if you need me to I promise I can report for extra cleaning duty if my squad lea-""I know who you are, Petra won't stop talking about you. That won't be necessary." He interjected. It came to no surprise that he was aware of you, given your cousin was in his squad, yet you still felt like a cow being sized up by its butcher. "I know you also started working with Hange recently." He stated."Yes, sir. I'm from the 104th-" You began to explain.You had gone into training with your childhood friend, but had been accelerated through training more quickly than others in your group because of your extensive knowledge of life systems and quick mastering of combat training. What still held you back, though, was maneuvering the 3DMG gear. You just didn't understand how someone was supposed to stay in the air for longer than five seconds. So, in that aspect you still had a lot more training to complete. But when Hange caught wind of you they practically captured you and took you in as their apprentice."I know. I don't need your life story." He interrupted you again, his tone dangerously close to dipping from its flat plateau. Well...that shut you right up. You could only blink in response. “So you’re the brat the two of them been going on and on about?” His quizzical behavior set you on edge. One wrong answer and you would be sent to the slaughterhouse. “Y-yes I guess. Before enlisting I was training with a biologist.”He made that grunting noise again and nodded once more. He really was a man of little words. “Well sir, if you don’t need me for anything else I’ll be taking my leave. I’m sorry again I spilled your tea.” He didn’t say anything, just nodded again.“I promise I’ll make it up to you!” You proclaimed, forming the best salute you could muster and turning to exit the premises. ‘Cadet Y/N.” He called, stopping you before you could depart. The hairs on the back of your neck as he proved he had knowledge of your name. “Yes sir?” You stood awkwardly and awaited his response."Don't come snooping in my office again." He ordered sternly before shooing you gently with his hand. ↞♞♘↠ “So she was scared of you at first? Hah, what a softy. I see why though, the first thing you said to her included the word fuck.  Not exactly smooth or inviting.” Your grandmother's words were harsh but they held a tone of endearment to them."How old were you when you first met then?" Your grandmother prodded. Levi pursed his lips as he thought back to that time four years ago. "25." He answered. "My my she was only 18 when she enlisted, you were robbing the cradle." She gasped in staged horror. Levi breathed out through his nose in response. While you may have known each other for that long, confessions didn't spill from your timid lips until you were 21. “Alrighty that lil’ scratch is all closed up now!” She declared proudly, leaning back and admiring her handy work. Levi stretched his back and ran his shoulder in circles to get some movement back into his stiff joints.“Thank you.”She smiled softly, the wrinkles under her eyes crinkling. She then turned her attention to the stove to begin preparing dinner. As Levi continued to stretch, a sudden, pressing problem he forgotten about popped into his mind. ‘Ah-” Levi gasped in recollection.“‘Ah!’ what?” She mocked his surprised comment, not taking her gaze away from chopping onions.“The horse.” He said frazzled with his gaze fixed on the front door. He shot up, ignoring the screaming protests by his shoulder, and was about to grasp the brass doorknob before your grandmother cleared her throat.“A little eager aren’t we, Mr. Shirtless? You planning on flashing my neighbors?” She chimed throwing him his shirt with a playful smirk. Levi felt heat on his cheeks and averted her gaze.“The stable is out back behind the shed.” She called from the kitchen as Levi slipped on his crusted boots. Buttoning the dirtied fabric of his shirt he didn’t bother to tuck it into his trousers as he padded down the front steps. With the day coming to an end the landscape before him looked like something straight out of an illustration; birds fluttering about as they returned to their nests, the far off lantern lights of porches danced like foxfire among the sparse trees. He would have never expected a place so idyllic to exist within Wall Rose. He envisioned settling down with you at a place like this once this hell was over. His footfalls grew weak against the spongy grass as he imagined your form dancing through these acres. A sudden influx of emotion gripped him in a dichotomy to the tranquil world around him. An unbearable constriction at his chest compressed his lungs and crumbled his exterior akin to your beloved walls. His adrenaline hadn’t allowed his own emotions to catch up to him. And now that they had, he felt defenseless against their onslaught. They had lost Eren, he could be losing you for all he knew. His eyes stung with the wet, hot frustration of his helplessness. Grassy tendrils came to grapple at his pant legs and seemingly drag him down onto the earth. He screamed against the evening sunlight as it kissed the flower fields. If your grandmother had heard him, which he was sure she had (and probably even more of the village), she had chosen to not say anything. For she was old friends with grief and had walked hand in hand through graveyards with the pain of stagnation. The rural silence answered his agony, cradling his curled form until he deemed himself capable of picking himself up.As expected, your horse wasn’t in the place you had left him. Levi puffed his cheeks and looked around for the shed. He vouched to start from the left side of the house. He rotated his shoulder blades, feeling the tightness of the stitches and cracked in his neck. When he reached the side of the house the shed your grandmother had been talking about came into view. It looked more like a house than a shed to Levi as it was even bigger than most houses in the underground. A glorified shed indeed; freshly painted, nothing hanging off the sides and no equipment haphazardly strewn around the base. “Alright you little shit where are you?”Walking aimlessly around the shed proved fruitful, as peeking out from one side of the grand structure was movement. Approaching carefully he rounded the corner of the building to find what he was looking for. Your horse stood with his back towards him but sluggishly looked his way upon sensing his presence.He looked awful. Dried blood caked of his cobalt coat and scratches littered his body, exposing the surface of his skin. His muscular neck hung low and he was favoring one of his back legs, hoof resting just above the ground. Levi felt bad for him.“Damn you look fucking horrible.” He said aloud, looking him up and down.Your horse snorted and glared back.“What? You do.” He answered, instantly cringing after. He couldn’t believe he was talking to a horse. You did it all the time, however. You even claimed that he understood you on a spiritual level , but Levi thought it was just bunch of, well, horse shit. Did he have a surprise concussion he didn’t remember getting? Did he have a hallucinogenic fever making him inclined to speak to animals? Placing the back of his palm on his forehead, he checked his temperature. No heat, just clammy. As he closed the distance between the two your horse didn’t make a run for it like he usually did. He really is in bad shape if he isn't running.Levi grabbed the grimy reins just below your horse’s chin and lightly tugged. He almost tripped over his boots at the sudden lack of movement. Whipping his head around he saw your horse hadn’t moved at all. His shoulder started to sting again.“Let’s go.” He commanded, giving the reins one more small tug.No movement. Even in his injured state the horse was still a pain in the ass.He tugged more firmly, even clicking his tongue a couple times.Nothing.Levi then began stepping backwards slowly, pulling the reins as he did so. Your horse followed him with his head until he had stretched his neck as far as he could go without moving. Although Levi affectionately referred to him as a little shit, your horse was in fact a large shit. He was one of the largest horses within the Survey Corps which also made him very troublesome to move. And Levi realized that no amount of pulling was going to get him to budge.He closed his eyes and exhaled. He was about to do it again.“I know your favorite person isn’t here right now but, please? Y/N would want you to be someplace safe and cleaned up.” He blankly stared into its amber eyes and it stared right back.When Levi tugged again, he slowly began to follow.“Are you fucking serious.” He rolled his eyes and headed towards the stable. ↞♞♘↠“Squad Leader I messed up royally.” Your opening statement had your companion slightly worried, but mostly intrigued.  “Y/N. For the fiftieth time I told you to call me Hange, just Hange.” They responded cheerfully before laying eyes on your nervous form. They quirked an eyebrow and gestured to the lounge chair slightly to the left of her desk. You sank into it and let out a shaky breath before explaining the situation. Throughout the story, Hange had to stifle their laughter which caused your frown to deepen.“That’s the most excitement shorty has gotten in a while.” They giggled, the severity of the situation going completely over their head. You curled up and groaned, placing your head in your hands.“Aw, Y/N don’t be upset. You messed up and you apologized, that’s all you could have done. It’s not like shorty is going to kill you or anything.” They came to the back of the lounge chair and enveloped you in a hug.“He does love his tea though…” They trailed off, cocking their head in contemplation. You let out a muffled cry and wiggled in her grasp.“Ah-no I didn’t mean to stress you out! In all seriousness nothing bad will happen to you, I’ll see to that. You know how many brats annoy him on the daily? You are just another one of those cadets to him at most.” They reassured, rubbing your shoulders gently. They lowered their voice and matched his tone perfectly when they imitated his favorite insult. A little bubble of laughter rose from your chest.“But if it’s really bothering you-” They gave your shoulders one last squeeze before returning to their desk. “You could buy him some more. Only if you can afford it, that is.”You would have to use up a significant amount of this month's savings, because from experience you knew that stuff was not the cheapest, but if it meant that you wouldn’t suffer a lifetime of torture it would be a worthwhile monetary sacrifice.↞♞♘↠ Levi led your horse into the stable, passing your grandmother’s other horses before stopping at an empty stall and placing him inside. He gingerly removed his saddle and bridle, careful not to nick any exposed skin. If he couldn't do anything for you right now, he could at least do something for him. I have my work cut out for me. He rolled up the fabric of his shirt up to his elbows before gathering the grooming supplies. Levi brushed out as much of the dried bits of blood as he could, sponged him down with warm water, and finished with bandaging the tender area just above his back hoof. The last part was particularly hard on his shoulder but he shrugged it off. He evaluated the equine's condition from head to hoof. Levi had cleaned him up to the best of his abilities and resolved that there was nothing more he could do at the moment. He ran his hand along his neck, giving his coarse pelt a few long strokes, before stepping out of the stall and locking the stable door.“Good night, little shit. Don’t even think about unlocking that door.” ↞♞♘↠A few days after the tea incident you had decided to go into town to try to find a new tin. At dinner the previous night, Mikasa had offered to accompany you to help you find a replacement. Besides Hange, she was the only other person who knew of the event. As insignificant as spilling tea was compared to the other stories told by your fellow cadets you still didn't want your mishap spreading around. If your best friend knew about your little mistake you knew you were in for a life of relentless teasing. Not that you didn't already experience that, but you didn't want it going around that you had gotten on the Captain's bad side. Mikasa had sworn to keep it on the down low, and you were grateful to her for that. The two of you had grown quite close in training as both of you excelled at hand to hand combat. From constantly training together you quickly found out the two of you had much in common and that you got along extremely well. Plus you were happy to have another girl around with all the testosterone floating about the 104th class. Mikasa and you had both grown up around boys, and even though you loved them, albeit them being idiots, it was refreshing to have other friends that were girls. Eren and Armin were attatched to her at the hip so you became more friendly with them as well. “Hey ugly.” An upbeat voice called in your direction. “Hey horse-face.” You shot back, looking up from your place at the fence.“Please don’t start calling me that too. If you do, it will stick for sure.” Jean whined, crossing his arms.“I’ll stop calling you that when you stop calling me ugly.” You teased, sticking your tongue out at the taller boy. Jean huffed in annoyance but smiled when you tried to hit him.“You actually look nice today, all jokes aside. Got a date today?” He wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in closer to playfully look you in the eyes. Shoving him away you clicked your tongue.You had in fact traded in your regular street clothes for something a little fancier, yet still casual. You donned a soft yellow sundress that made you feel less sweaty in the summer heat, pulled some of your short hair into a braid and had put on a ghosting of makeup. It had been awhile since you had the opportunity to dress up, so even if this was just going into town you wanted to take that chance to feel not dirty and grimy like you did during training.“Would you believe it if I told you that I got all pretty for you, Jeanie~” You cooed, sticking out your bottom lip and looking up at him from under your lashes. Jean gagged in an exaggerated manner and mouthed a yuck before you started playfully kicking him.“Uhm-guys?” A timid voice piped up, causing both you and Jean to stop mid limb-throwing to stare at the source of the sound.“Ah! Hey Armin, Mikasa!” You instantly collected yourself and smiled brightly.“By all means, don’t stop fighting. It was just getting good.” Mikasa added, a small smirk on her features. You abruptly disentangled yourself from Jean and placed your hair back in its position.“Eren’s not coming?” You tilted your head in confusion. This trip into town was supposed to be the four of you until Jean insisted on joining.It’s actually better off he’s not coming otherwise those two would be down each other's throats the entire time. You eyed Jean who was fiddling with his shirt.Armin shook his head before explaining. “No, he has special training with the Captain.” The Captain. His name was enough to send shivers down your spine.“Horse-face is coming with us into town?” Mikasa asked flatly. You nodded and Jean looked at her with minor offense.“Yeah, he begged to come along. That’s how much I mean to him.” You linked your arm with his and gripped his forearm hard, cozying up to his side.“N-no it’s not like that at all.” He stuttered, blush alight on his cheeks. He desperately tried to maneuver out of your grasp but you kept him hanging off your arm like a limp noodle. Armin laughed nervously and Mikasa flashed an amused smile. The way you manhandled Jean was quite an amusing sight. “Please put up with him for a few hours for me; I had to tolerate him all throughout my childhood.” You pleaded, tugging on his arm causing his balance to falter in your direction.The nearest town was within walking distance. You and Jean strolled side by side a few paces behind the other two in your party down the main street. Armin’s enthusiastic chattering could faintly be heard from your position. Jean, however, was the total opposite of Armin, and had begun sulking since you had embarrassed him earlier. He would not stop pouting, so you nudged him in the ribcage to snap him out of his pity party. He yelped in surprise and shot you a dirty look.“Look I’m sorry for teasing you in front of her earlier.” You apologized, poking him on the arm. He gave you a confident smirk, which you knew as the start of his suave act, cool boy act.“Pft- you mean Mikasa? I don’t care what she thinks.” He responded all too nonchalantly. You deadpanned. If your best friend was proficient in anything it was bullshit.“You’ve been staring at her this whole time.” You commented, your companion’s confident facade faltering.“Huh? I’m just walking.”“I may be ugly but I’m not dumb, dumbass.” You snorted. “I know you like her, but there are no signs pointing towards she’s interested. You might as well date Marco.”Jean swallowed wrong and began to have a coughing fit. Your firm pats on his upper back only worsened his condition. “W-what? Why would I date him?” He gasped and jerked his head in your direction.You were about to explain when Mikasa suddenly stopped.  “We’re here.” She called out. Jean and Armin looked towards the painted sign of the tea shop in confusion.“We came all the way out here to get tea?” Jean questioned, unamused and still trying to recover from his coughing fit.“You know how much I love tea.” You trilled. You made an attempt to ruffle his hair but he batted you away.  “Since you think it's lame you and Armin can go somewhere cooler, like the book store or something.”“I think that’s a good idea.” Mikasa interjected, sending an apologetic look towards Armin before shuffling you into the shop.  “Jean don’t be a dick, please!” You called out before disappearing into the shop.It was a humble store stocked with countless varieties of tea and various kitchen wares. It was also the only shop that sold tea in this small town, so if they didn’t have the type you were looking for you were screwed. The two of you split up in search for the tea, but your searches came up empty as you scanned every display in sight. “Is this it?” Mikasa asked, holding up a similar looking container. You shook your head, feeling defeat set in. A small man appeared in your peripheral vision.“Excuse me, madam, is there something I can help you find?” His hands were clasped together neatly at his front and he wore a wide smile that was barely visible underneath his graying mustache.“A-ah yes. Do you have Fox Chaser tea?” Your question seemed to light up his eyes.“Oh yes! Quite and aromatic and rich tea, isn't it?” He beamed, leading you to a display where familiar tins were expertly stacked along one of the top shelves. The anxieties that had plagued you for the past few days were all swept away when you saw that little man. Thanking the employee, you purchased two tins, one for the Captain and one for your grandmother.“Let’s hope this will set me in the clear.” You said with slight apprehension. Mikasa silently placed a hand on your shoulder as you left the shop and made your way down the cobblestone street. ↞♞♘↠ Upon Levi’s return to the house the sun had set and the moon was already creeping up the sky.“Why did you take so long?” Your grandmother prodded as if she were interrogating her teenage son. “He was hiding.” Levi explained as he shoved his boots off his feet. He didn't accept her open invitation to discuss anything else. “...the horse?” She questioned, eyebrow raised. Levi nodded in conformation, plopping rather ungracefully onto one of the kitchen stools. She shook her head in disbelief but didn’t pry any further.“Here, eat up.” She said, sliding a plate across the table. Bratwurst dressed with sauerkraut and two slices of buttered bread on blue china laid before him. His mouth must have been visibly watering because she puffed with laughter.“When you’re done please go to bed. You look like shit, bet you feel like it too.” She cackled. There was a small piece of Levi that was beginning to find her dryness endearing.“Thank you.” He expressed his gratitude before digging into the food. She grunted in response.“Well-I’ll quit bothering you tonight. The two of you almost made it to Valhalla today so you deserve a full night’s sleep.” She stifled the flames on the stove and took her leave but not before stopping in the doorway.“I’m going to go check on her again before heading off to bed myself. I’ve prepared one of the guest rooms for you, it’s the last door on the left.” Levi looked up mid bite of his sausage and swallowed before speaking.“Thank you.”“Sheesh is that all you know how to say?” She turned back once more in the entryway with a warm smile.“Eat quickly and get some sleep, otherwise you won’t grow any taller.” Her barking laughter bounced off the walls and harmonized with the creaking of the stairs as she ascended them.After he finished his meal he went to check on you again. Your condition looked the same; gentle limps strewn across lavender silk and color flushed from your complexion. He slowly pulled the covers up to reveal your bandaged torso. An opaque layer of red rested beneath the layers of gauze, meaning you were still bleeding through the stitches. The hand he used to place the covers over you once more moved to rest against your cheek. He had some false hope in his head that you would react to his touch, but you laid still as ever. Levi prayed you were sleeping as blissfully as you looked, that your peaceful expressions and steady breaths didn’t hold a secret sea of turmoil behind them. He placed a loving kiss to your forehead and reluctantly drew away from you.He initially thought he would have trouble sleeping, both from his unconventional sleeping habits and the earlier events, but when his head hit the downed pillow the mattress absorbed all the tension in his muscles. His eyes instantly fluttered shut and Levi was engulfed in a tranquil darkness that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. The last thing he heard before he was washed into the the void was that melodious laughter of yours. ↞♞♘↠
Okay, Y/N you can really do it now. He’s positively in there this time.
So after returning from town, here you stood at the climax of your tea saga. The freshly brewed kettle shook with the small tremors of your hands and the cream almost spilled as they gripped the edges of the tray. You attempted to form a determined visage before knocking twice with your foot.
Confident and assertive. Confident and assertive. Confiden-
“Name and business.” Oh god this is actually happening. The situation had manifested from hypothetical to real in a matter of a few words.“Cadet Y/N, sir.” You specified, eyes locked on the chipping varnish of the door.“Come in.” A voice with the richness and texture of red wine answered.It was then you fully realized how preoccupied your hands were and began fumbling to open the door. The Captain heard a symphony of clanking and thudding and rose to his feet.The next thing you knew the door was being swung open, causing you to falter and barely stop the tray from tumbling from your hold. The Captain regarded you with his usual unwavering expression. His inability to change facial expressions sent you spiraling further into a world of nerves. He said nothing as you straightened yourself up.“Good evening, Captain.” Meeting his gaze, you smiled. You hoped it looked natural but to your superior you just looked constipated.“I wanted to apologize again for what happened two days ago, sir.” You started, adjusting the grip on the tray. The Captain’s metallic features dropped from your face to the contents of your hands.“So I bought you more tea as a replacement, and I brewed a fresh pot for you. Squad Leader said you usually drink tea in the mornings and evenings, and I had to train this morning so I decided this was the best time…” You trailed off towards the end of your speech, remembering how he silenced your rambling before.The Captain didn’t know how to react. No brat, nor anyone for that matter, had ever gone to this length over something so simple as spilling a sachet of tea. Sure he was annoyed when it happened, but never did he expect you to purchase a whole new tin for him. He new tea was not an affordable commodity, especially this brand. He was the tiniest bit touched.“You bought this?” He asked, hints of shock evident in his voice. He gestured to the box and you nodded rapidly.“Yes, sir. I bought you a new tin. I hope you don’t mind I placed some of the bags in the kitchen.”“That’s fine.” He confirmed. Suddenly the tray was being pushed into his chest. Taken aback he moved backwards slightly.“Please take it as compensation for the trouble I caused.” You requested, your outstretched arms voicelessly asking him to accept your gift. You waited expectantly for him to relieve you of the tea. When he performed no such action you gulped.“Place it on my desk.” He instructed, nodding his head in the direction of his work space.“O-oh yes sir!”He stepped aside to let you scurry over to the desk. Once you set the tray down you saluted him and made your way back to the door. Before you could dismiss yourself the guttural clearing of his throat stopped you dead in your tracks.“I did not dismiss you, Cadet.”Rather than butterflies, bats began swarming in the pit of your stomach. They screeched at your nerves and their leathery wings pricked the inside of your skin. Your head explored all of the terrifying scenarios that could come after that phrase. Thankfully you had an overactive imagination.“Do you know where Squad Leader Mike’s office is?” He questioned, lifeless eyes boring through your chest. You nodded timidly.“Go give these to him. When you come back, you don’t need to knock.”Upon your return after a refreshingly brief encounter with Mike you found the Captain totally immersed in the tea. His eyes were closed, breaths rising from deep in his chest, and a smoothness to his features. If you were not completely petrified by his demeanor, you fancied you would have found him quite handsome.Handing him the documents Mike had traded for the ones you gave him earlier, you made your second attempt to escape from the Captain’s clutches. “Cadet.” He called just as your fingers brushed the doorknob.“Yes, sir?”“Thank you.”Your eyes went wide and the bats transformed into butterflies, flitting about in a less chaotic manner.“A-ah yes, of course sir!” You saluted in one fluid and exaggerated motion. He clicked his tongue and waved your salute off. A short silence fell upon the room that caused you to fiddle with the hems of your sleeves. Levi regarded you with unfeeling eyes, yet beneath them your sweet appearance made his chest clench.  Just as you were curious about him, a strange interest in you had blossomed within him. “Do you need anything else sir?” You offered as he rose from his seat to grab two tea cups from the cabinet.“Sit.” He instructed, his command firm but no hint of authority in his tone.“P-Pardon, sir?”“Sit.” He pointed towards one of the chairs in the corner. You brought it over and seated yourself on the opposite side of the desk. The inside of your body felt as if it was filling with iron, making you feel heavy as you awkwardly awaited his next move. The air was painfully thick between the two of you, if you had let out a large breath it would have solidified within seconds.“Tell me, how do you make it?” He asked, his words thinning the air. His visage remained focused on preparing the tea, a meager knit of the eyebrows the only movement on his face.“Pardon, sir?”“The tea. It’s very good.” The butterflies crept back into your bloodstream. Did he just compliment you?“Thank you, sir!” You exhaled with a smile, extremely relieved that he was satisfied with your repentance.The Captain then poured the dark liquid into your cup. He handled the teapot with such a delicacy that contrasted his stark disposition; thin, pallid fingers caressed porcelain while acute ashen eyes supervised.“Sugar?” He asked, his attention still fully on the tea.“Yes, please.”“Cream?”“No, thank you.”A tap tap of the steel spoon against the rim of the cup was followed by a soft thank you as he pushed the vessel towards you.“I add a bit of honey to the tea leaves to give it sweetness. Black tea tends to be bitter on its own.” You answered his earlier question, taking a small sip, cautious not to slurp. Instantly the metal oxidized from your body and was replaced with air.“Interesting. Where did you learn that?” He lilted, adding a stingy amount of cream to his cup.“I learned how to make and serve tea when I was young. My family is acquainted with some affluent individuals.” Your thumbs traced patterns on the surface of your teacup.“Affluent, huh?”“Yes, sir. A bunch of snobby assholes if you ask me.” Your face turned a ghostly pale before flushing bright red. Just when you were nearing the top of the whole you had dug yourself into you had fallen right back in.“P-pardon my language, sir! I had no intention of speaking vulgarly.” You covered your mouth with your hands, mortified by your tone of speech.The captain huffed. It was sound that came deep from his chest that made his eyes crinkle slightly and the corner of his lips twitch upward. It was a sound that made your butterflies flit about and generate a lovely fuzzy feeling with each wing beat. Maybe your Captain was just a fraction less scary as you had originally thought.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Truth or Dare↞♞♘↠“ACK! Something crawled in my shirt!” Connie exclaimed, skittering along the mountain trail like a rabid squirrel. You dodged him just before he could collide into you, which would have sent you flying into Jean and Marco. You slowed your pace down a bit to accommodate his stupor. The 104th group of cadets were currently partaking in an endurance exercise which entailed heaving weighted packs up one of the nearby modest, yet rugged mountains. Your uphill climb wound around fallen logs and rocky patches that made your shoulders burn with the heaviness of your backpack. Once Connie had stopped swerving, his arms flung to the back of his neck as he scrambled to unearth the intruder hitching a ride in his shirt. Sasha sighed and trotted up to him, confidently reaching into his collar. Connie squeaked when she shoved her fist down his shirt, and when she revealed what had been tickling his spine you and Jean let out a cackle. “It’s a leaf.” She declared, her cheeks puffing with her own laughter. She dangled the maple leaf in front of the dumbfounded boy’s face.“At least it wasn’t something actually dangerous.” Marco offered with a sweet chuckle. Connie narrowed his eyes against his flushed cheeks as he looked between the leaf and his thoroughly amused friends. “You would not last one day in my hometown.” Sasha smirked, wiggling the leaf at his nose. Connie groaned in embarrassment and yanked it from her grasp, throwing it angrily to the side. His dramatic reaction overcompensated for the way it gently floated down to the forest floor to join its fallen comrades. As your walk droned on and backs continued to ache, your group began playing truth or dare to pass the time. Most of you ended up picking truths, as the constant haggling from Shadis and quiet nudges forward from Mike didn’t allow much room to perform anything too complicated. Sasha ate a small pinecone, much to your dismay. Jean revealed that he had a hand kink. Connie recounted how he had accidentally flashed Pixis once. Marco reluctantly called Mike’s mustache cute. “Y/N, truth or dare?” Connie asked. “Truth.” You immediately answered. You took Sasha’s hand as she helped you scale a sizable boulder that led your train of sweaty cadets further up the mountain. “I’m too tired for a dare.” “Who do you think is the hottest person in our class?” Connie asked with a smirk as he fell in line with you. You pursed your lips in thought, looking from everyone around you to the cadets that trudged through the wilderness. “Easy-” You began and his eyebrows immediately shot up. “Mikasa.” You absorbed his sly smile as his face brimmed with shock. Jean snorted and Sasha whistled as you accelerated your waddle to catch up to the girl in question and her companions walking just ahead. Not so Secret Embrace↞♞♘↠“You’re still blushing.” Levi remarked, lips folding into a smirk."You were too a minute ago." You grumbled, feeling the heat pooling under your skin again as you plopped down opposite him. "Don't look at me, you're making it worse." “It’s hard not to look at someone who’s sitting right in front of me.” He teased. You groaned and buried your face in your hands, ignoring the steaming cup in front of you. Levi’s eyes brimmed with affection as he watched you. Even after all this time you were still so adorable. "It honestly doesn't matter if they saw, they're just some cadets. It would've been far worse if Erwin, or fucking forbid Hange, saw us." Levi reassured."We'd be condemned to an even more intense life of teasing." Your comment was muffled by your palms. Levi leaned back in his chair, the only thing holding back his large grin was his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. He found your reaction simply endearing. Moments ago, you and Levi had been caught in your office by two trainees in the throws of passion; their Captain's hands and lips traveling and groping at some very unprofessional places which had you stifling moans. The very trainees that you were scheduled to train in hand to hand combat that same day. The moment they discovered your little rendezvous, they slammed your office door shut and ran away giggling down the hall and leaving you mortified beyond comprehension. "Look at me." He asked, voice flowing through your ears like velvet. You hesitantly moved your fingers apart just enough to expose both of your eyes. Levi was regarding you with such a tenderness that set your nerves on fire. No one had ever looked at you that way before.  “But it was good right?” Levi smirked, licking his still swollen lips. Your blush must have reached every part of your face by now. You whispered a fuck you before grabbing your tea cup. You pouted and took a violent swig.“So cute.” He cooed, poking your forehead and sitting back to take a sip of his own tea.He couldn’t have been more in love with you.    Three's a Crowd↞♞♘↠ “Levi who would you rather have a threesome with; Erwin or Hange?”“I’m not fucking answering that. You better not either.”"...So Mike then?"

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa kolpakowskiana ~ A tulip whose golden glow resembles the sunrise of a new day. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Levi regained consciousness with a jolt, heart racing and tears bubbling behind his eyes. Another nightmare.I guess a good night’s sleep was too good to be true. He honestly didn’t remember how he dealt with his nightmares before you, and now you weren’t here to help. Levi had to resist his urge to leap up and crawl into bed next to you. Your well-being and your grandmother’s threat kept him in the guest room.  The sky was edging with light, signaling it was early in the morning. Levi knew from over 20 years of garbage sleeping habits that he would not fall back into slumber, nor did he want to. Instead, he opted for rising with the sparrows chitting just outside the peeling window. He lifted himself up from the sheets, and groaned as the tightness in his joints fought back. Releasing the tension from his body with several alarmingly loud cracks, he arose and turned down the hall towards your room. The light casted a muted glow over your bed, the sheets bathing in a cool yellow hue. Your form was still as motionless as it was yesterday; arms neatly folded at your sides, hair neatly brushed out of your face. You looked like you a model in a museum exhibit which sent Levi’s stomach churning. Your grandmother must have already attended to your wounds because as he sat down next to you he regarded the fresh bottle of alcohol and roll of bandaging. That would explain your clean look as well. A partially eaten jar of applesauce and used spoon were neatly placed on the nightstand. Levi let out a sigh of relief that you were able to keep some food down. “Good morning.” He greeted in a hushed tone. Usually in the early hours of the morning, he would be conscious of how loud he was being as to not drag you out of sleep. But now all he wanted was for you to wake up, to respond to his voice. Your skin looked as fragile as glass, with too much pressure you would shatter into the satin. Warmth was rising to your cheeks, though, which was an improvement from yesterday. He wasn’t sure if you could hear him but he continued to talk to you anyway, about the expedition, about his interactions with your grandmother, about the beautiful tulips. He could have remained by your bedside for an eternity until a rancid smell passed through his nostrils. Repulsed, he looked around the room for a clue to its origin until- Oh shit, it's me.  The master bathroom was rather spacious with polished tiles and copper embellishments. The tub was enormous , so large that Levi felt like a child within it.Treading over to the basin he twisted the golden knob and let the water run over his other hand, testing it until it was a soothing temperature. Leaving the tub to fill, he wandered around the bathroom. He turned in the mirror to regard the back of his shoulder. A sparse breath puffed from his lips. He had never actually bothered to look at his wound the night before. His skin was stained a deep purple that spanned most of his shoulder.Disrobing fully, he carefully stepped into the tub, goosebumps prickling all over his body when the warmth kissed his skin. He sunk into the water, the steam visibly emanating from the pool. Levi let out a breathy sigh and his pupils lulled to the back of his eyes as he relished in the soothing hands of the water. He couldn’t hold back his moan as the water numbed his swollen skin and sent him into a temporary state of peace. ↞♞♘↠“I feel so icky.” You whined, bouncing in an exaggerated manner. The way your limbs were flailing around made Levi snort. Expeditions were never fun and neither was coming home from one. The unwanted pinching along your ribs, the dull aching everywhere, and discolored plum pigmented spots that bloomed on your skin never failed to be your welcome home present. It had become a tradition for you and Levi to sleep in his quarters after particularly taxing scouting excursions as he claimed his bath was more effective at getting the blood and soot out of every crevice of the body than yours. Honestly you didn’t doubt his reasoning with all the cleaning products he used on a daily basis. “Me too.” Levi dittoed, exhaling with a groan as he removed his left boot. The leather leaving his foot made a satisfying pop. Lifting the shoe to his face, he examined the contents with a knit brow. He must have been unsatisfied with what he saw because his features contorted into a grimace and his tongue peeked out from behind his teeth in distaste. You barely heard the softly spat fucking disgusting before he removed the other one and neatly set them in the corner by the door. Upon releasing his other foot from its confines, he then immediately retreated into the bathroom. As you began removing your own boots, the harsh sound of water running filled the otherwise quiet room. The moment you bent down to remove your shoe, the pinching in your side intensified. “Fuck.” You hissed breathily, hand reaching awkwardly to massage the tender area. “What is it?” Levi’s call was distorted by the flowing bathwater. He apparated into the doorway, nimble fingers halting at the fourth button on his shirt. “Nothing, I just have a cramp.” You explained, attempting to wave his concern off with a small grin. Your foolery was cut short, however, when your body refused to bend further than your knees. You stretched half way down your legs before your body decided that was far enough, leaving you rocking back and forth like an inchworm as you grappled at the lacing on your boot.Levi pursed his lips, inhaling his almost-chuckle, and left his post in the doorway to kneel before you. He gently rose each foot and slipped both your boots off, cringing when more foreign substances were discovered. Your eyes met in silent disgust, neither of you really wanting to investigate further. Once your socks were removed, Levi’s fingers danced over the sole of your foot mischievously. A crackled squeak left your lips and you lightly kicked him with what strength you had left. He didn’t attempt to cage his laughter this time and his hearty chuckle danced around the chamber. “I can get my shirt.” You stated, a determined glint shining through the bags under your eyes. “Oh?” Levi challenged with a hint of jest in his tone. With a raised brow he rose to his feet and disappeared back into the bathroom. It was going well until you missed one button and that was all it took for you to become a tangled mess. It was like you were playing a game of twister by yourself. Levi barely heard the tiny help that was muffled by the haphazardly folded fabric wrapped around your limbs. You waited for a moment, staring at the inside of your shirt and your arm starting to get tingly from its awkward position at the back of your neck. Then a light tug cleared your vision and you were faced with Levi’s bare chest. He had successfully managed to remove the garment off your constricted torso without causing your side to act up. “My hero.” You thanked in a sweet voice, more fatigued than you should have been from that ordeal. He responded with a kiss on your forehead before resigning towards the bathroom yet again.“Do you want to go first?” You proposed, running your fingers through your mussed hair to check for any unidentifiable materials. Fortunately they came back empty handed. “I thought we could go together.” He suggested, his belt coming undone with a metallic gingle. Once it was coiled and placed in his dirty hamper he turned towards you and waited expectantly. “Lemme just put my clothes away and I’ll join you.” You said, undoing the buckles of the straps that snaked around your thighs. “You need help with your pants?” Levi offered casually as he began to fiddle with the zipper of his own. “Trying to get into them, Mr. Ackerman?” You retorted with the quip of an eyebrow. “Only if it gets you into the bath faster.” Levi returned your accusation, his eyes shining with amusement. The lazy familiarity in his gaze beckoned you to remove the rest of your uniform with haste. Now clad in only your underwear, you shuffled into the lavatory a few minutes later. Walking into the room felt like entering the inside of a soothing flame. The candles Levi had lit casted the room in a warm and silky blanket of light and their comforting atmosphere almost made you melt into a pool of candle wax the instant you entered the space. The luxury of his bathroom was a stark reminder of your days as a cadet and you constantly thanked the heavens that you no longer needed to take community showers. The time you had accidentally walked into the boy’s shower room left a deep scar that had the situation playing forever on a loop. Your companion had himself already submerged under the frothing water. The airy bubbles outlined his reclined form and clung to his pale skin as if they were afraid he would part from their lavish cradle. The smell emanating from the bath was of lavender, a scent you recognized as Levi’s birthday gift from Erwin. He was too crass to admit it, but the amount of times he used the bath salts and the way his body practically became one with the foam betrayed his indifferent fasad.  He had not yet registered your presence, the enticing embrace lulling Levi’s eyes shut and parting his rosy lips. Your heart could not contain itself and began fluttering against every surface of your body. He lolled his head back to look at you when your steps hit the tile with a little too much force. His lips upturned and eyes slowly opened into a blissful expression. Reaching back to unclasp your bra, your gaze momentarily fell to the side of the tub. Just as you began to slide the straps down your shoulders, a slight sloshing of water from the tub halted your movements. Levi was regarding you boyishly, an enamored smile gracing his porcelain features. The pure domesticity of the situation caused a garden of warmth to cultivate in your heart, spreading through your bloodstream and pooling at your cheeks. Your faltering caused a velvety chuckle to rumble through his chest. “What? I can’t watch you?” He purred, blinking slowly and smiling contently. To him, you were the most exquisite thing in such a grimy world. Even if you were grimy, too, at the moment.  “I- uh, no it's okay.” You flushed and continued to undress. The garment fell to the floor with a soft clatter. You eyed him once more as your fingers brushed the silky hem of your underwear. His smile only deepened, and his eyes refracted the candle light and the way the flame danced within them mimicked a sunset along a silvery sky. He had stopped hiding his smiles from you long ago.  “You know I can’t count the amount of times I’ve seen you naked before.”You breathed out a laugh, too exhausted, too flustered, and too eager to relax to come up with a snarky comeback. You planted yourself at the side of the tub and made a moving gesture with your hand.“Scoot up.” You instructed. Levi blinked a couple times before obeying, the bubbles relentlessly sticking to his skin as he glided up the tub. You slipped in behind him, immediately feeling the bruises and scratches of the battle being subdued by the heated water. Guiding his shoulders back so his body was pressed against your chest, he practically melted into your embrace at the feeling of your plush skin. Delicate hands glazed over his torso, spreading the bubbles up his chest with the tranquil pitter-patter of water. A shiver followed in their wake, chasing the feeling of your touch when your hands left him to lather themselves in shampoo. “How are you feeling?” You asked sweetly, working your foamy palms through his obsidian locks. “Nothing hurts more than usual.” He sighed, muscles involuntarily flexing under your minstraitions. “That’s not what I meant.” His response was not surprising to you. You had grown accustomed to the delay in response in regard to emotional questions. While Levi often confided in you, he still had his affliction with expressing is inner turmoils. Yet, the closer the two of you grew and the more time you spend together, the shorter that intermittent silence became. Your teeth worried at the inside of your cheek in anticipation as you massaged the clipped hair at the base of his head. “Nothing hurts more than usual.” Levi repeated but this time with a gentler tone. It signaled not to press further but allowed you to sense meaning behind his words. You nodded in understanding. Seasoned soldiers became numb to the bloodshed of war to a certain degree but any weathered scar still holds the potential to bleed. “How are you feeling?” Levi asked and gingerly traced patterns along your thigh. “This expedition seems like child’s play compared to the one in a few weeks.” You said with a tinge of worry lased in your statement. Levi hummed in agreement and craned his neck to give you better access to the area of hair next to his ear. The two of you had avoided talking about it too in depth as you knew what dwelling on heavy tasks during the time of a current expedition would place you both in a bad mental state. “It will be risky, but Erwin knows what he’s doing. He-” Levi was unable to complete his train of thought when you tugged just right on a section of his hair. He let out a husky moan that mingled with the steamy flush of the tub and what heat resided within your face was now pooled between your legs. His body went rigid in embarrassment and you immediately halted your massaging. His sensuous reaction surprised both of you but it was endearing that even after all this time, the two of you could still be so bashful in front of each other. You could never get enough of his vulnerability, a side he reserved deeply for you. “Felt good?” You giggled, smoothing your palms over his shoulders. The plush press of your breasts against his back drew a shaky breath from deep within him. In one fluid moment, Levi sank under the water and reemerged facing you. The sight before you sent an electric stream volting through your nerves. The dark expanse of his wet tresses framed the ravishing galaxy that swirled vividly within his eyes. His canines toyed with his lower lip, determined to get even with you for laughing.“Not as good as how you are about to feel.” His voice was so low it seemed to vibrate the whole tub and sent a shockwave of pleasurable currents across your skin. He licked his lips languidly, carefully grabbing your thighs and adjusting your legs so they rested atop of his. Now it was his hands that smoothed down the heated skin of your arms, stomach, thighs, the cusp of your breasts, and gliding along your shoulders. He placed tender open mouthed kisses against the shell of your neck, collarbone, and then again to the swell of your breasts. The touch left your skin burning with desire and with every exhale the steam thickly materialized above you. Your body curled into his, the need for friction becoming unbearable. It was Levi who now chuckled in delight when his fingers found your core. The moan he drew from you made him light-headed and left his consciousness as fuzzy as the humidity of the bathroom. Just as Levi began intensifying his strokes, his movements began to grow lazy. You started feeling sluggish as well, the sultriness of the room lulling you into a sleepy daze. As the immense exhaustion from the expedition caught up with your bodies, the two of you let the water earnestly lap at your slumped forms. For how long, you did not know. Levi’s eyelids drooped and you became aware of the dark lilac bags residing under them. Your sore side too decided it wanted in on the fun and started singeing the right half of your body. You were about to tap Levi to get him to move when his head suddenly dipped, the sweet release of sleep getting the better of him. His head only touched your shoulder for a second before it snapped upward. The disoriented expression he wore caused you to bark with laughter. “I’m trying to be sexy.” He pouted, the cosmic hue of his eyes fading to a dull gray. He squeezed your thighs playfully.  “If we don’t get out of this tub soon we are both going to fall asleep and drown.” You squeaked, hitting his shoulder lightly and moving off of him to step out of the tub. He gently held you in place. “I need to wash your hair first. Turn around.” He said tiredly. You could barely distinguish his request through his lofty yawn. “Okay, but don’t take too long or we’ll get all pruney.” You remarked after popping a stray bubble caught on his cheek. ~“SIR! REPORTING FOR MORNING CLEANING DUTY.” The shrill voice cracked with the breath of a fresh morning. Whoever was yelling really had pipes. “Shut the hell up, Jaeger. She’s still sleeping.” Levi’s annoyed chiding was much harder to hear from the otherside of the closed bedroom door. Shuffling and muffled fumbling for what you expected was the sanitation equipment followed the commotion. “How are you so energetic at the ass crack of dawn?” Levi tsked and playfully hit the cadet atop the head with a folder just as the boy picked up his duster. ↞♞♘↠Levi’s head had begun to ache with a dull blurriness after spending a sizeable amount of time in the bath. His temple cooed under the pressured glides of his pruney fingers before resigning to get up, lest becoming the embodiment of a raisin. He heaved himself out of the heavenly pool, dizziness immediately enveloping him when his feet touched the bathmat. Upon returning to his room he found a freshly folded pile of clothes awaiting him on the leather lounge chair. The garments were a little too posh for his liking but anything was better than the tattered remnants of his uniform. The finished look made Levi huff in mild surprise. The scarlet dress shirt fit snugly on his shoulders and highlighted the curvature of his biceps. He got rid of the excess billowing of the torso by tucking it snuggly into his slacks. The pants were expertly tailored, an indication they originated from a higher class, and complemented every outline and muscle of Levi’s lower half. Except for length. Muttering to himself about the inconvenience in the height difference between the previous owner of these clothes and himself, he began thinking of ways to alter the outfit so he didn’t look like a child or walls forbid a hobbit. After rolling each pant leg up neatly just past his ankles with slight irritation, he perched the suspenders utop of his shoulders and padded over to the mirror. Clearly whoever these clothes belonged to was much taller than he. But he didn’t hate it. In fact, he sort of liked how he looked. He twisted his body this way and that to garner as close as he could get to a 360 degree view. He gave himself an approving nod and grabbed a piece of stationary and a pen before exiting the room. He made his way downstairs but not without peeking into your room once more. The house had a much different aura than the night before. The sunlight extended its pale tendrils through the polished glass and beckoned Levi to sit at the small table in the corner next to dutch door window. He placed the stationary on the carved wood and gasped when his back suddenly cracked. It was then he realized just how sore and exhausted he still was even after the bath. He needed caffeine badly. Your coffee addiction was, unwantedly at first, rubbing off on him. Before the two of you were close he had no interest in dirt water as he called it. However, you slowly opened him up to a new world where long nights were made substantially easier and when his tea just didn’t cut it. Levi had been conditioned to like the strong way you made it, but it was indeed an acquired taste.Thumbs absentmindedly played with the fabric of the suspenders as he scanned the spacious room for a french press. Now that yesterday’s adrenalin had been cleansed from his head, he could see the room clearly. The room was filled with life, literally. Plants were everywhere; potted and leaves overflowing from their confines. The wood was more polished and artistic than his glazed eyes had seen the night before. The decor emitted wealth and pretentiousness yet it gave him the opposite feeling. He felt like he was at home, and he didn’t know what to do with that feeling. Locating the french press next to one said plant, Levi brewed his drink under the warm morning embrace and the lithe song of songbirds. Once he obtained his cup of coffee, he resigned back to the table and wrote his letter between sips and gazes out onto the yard.  
Erwin,

As I’m sure you are aware, Y/N and myself were separated from the left flank during the expedition. We’re okay. We are staying on the outskirts of Krolva.

Y/N has sustained heavy but not lethal injuries.

I’m fine.

Don’t worry your eyebrows off.

Levi
 “How long have you been awake?” A familiar gruff voice hollered from the hall. Levi had just finished sliding the letter into the envelope when your grandmother appeared in the doorway. “A couple hours.”  He said with characteristic plainness.“You look a lot better than yesterday. Cleaner too.” She commented and returned to the hall to discard her lightweight coat. “I took a bath.” His thumb eagerly pushed against a paint chip in the elegant coffee mug. “Well good for you, I’d figured you would know how to properly bathe.” She chided with a jestfull tone. From his seat next to the window, Levi could see the woman shuffling around the shoe rack. He gave her appearance a once over; mud encrusted baby blue paddock boots, an apron with a floral design embroidered into the front pocket and gardening gloves just as dirty as her boots. When her outdoor clothing had been discarded by the front door she padded back into the sunlit kitchen. His eyes were still fixated on the dry dirt that littered her apron, work pants, and shirt. His nose wrinkled automatically. “I was gathering tulips.” She responded to Levi’s silent inquiry. He simply nodded and when she turned towards him a satisfied smile chuffed her cheeks. Her hands were perched attentively on her hips. “Well don’t those clothes look nice on you. I was afraid they would be a little loose fitting.” She clicked her tongue approvingly. Levi idly attempted to hide the extremely rolled up pants by crossing his legs at his ankles. “Those were my son’s clothes. I know he had a couple inches shy of a good foot over you but they suit you. You both had a similar style.” Levi stiffened when your grandmother revealed who’s garments he adorned. It didn’t bother him, per say, but it did feel a bit strange wearing something that belonged to your father. Curiously intimate. Like this whole experience, Levi reckoned. “Yeah, they fit alright. Thank you.” His curt response made your grandmother purse her lips. She was determined to get him to open up to her. “Oh! You made coffee how delightful.” She said giddily as she made a beeline for it. When she had poured the amber liquid into delicate china she took one sip, smacked her lips in a sophisticated manner, and gagged. “You make it just like her, strong as shit.” Your grandmother muttered sounds of disgust that hid Levi’s breath of amusement. She hastily retrieved the sugar and milk from the pantry and remedied the deathly drink to her liking. “While I was out there I fed the horses-” She added after a satisfying sip of her coffee. “And your corps horse is a huge pain in my knickers. You know, in all my years serving in the military I’ve never met such a spoiled creature before.” She ranted as she sauntered over to the tiny corner table. She sat down opposite of Levi, taking her apron off and waving it out to get some dust off. Levi dodged it the dislodged particles. “The bugger went to bite me whenever I tried to look at his wounds and even feed him. I don’t know how he passed his horsey exams because he’s so disobedient.” She scoffed and took a particularly violent swig of her drink. “I’ll go check on him later.” He said, furrowing his brows when his cup no longer contained his energy source. “Humor me. Why don’t you just get rid of the thing? It’s too ornery.” She proposed slyly, the aged wood of the chair creaked as she leaned back against it. Levi noted her posture, she may act prickly but she walks with the grace of someone raised inside the innermost wall. Levi harbored the same sentiment about the horse. It still blew his mind how Zacharias even chose him in the annual foaling. If he had the choice, Levi would have been born with the ability to wiggle his fingers and magically make bratty horses disappear far away to a distant farm where they would never be heard from again. Scratch that. Anything or anybody that was a brat. What a heaven that would be, half the cadets turning into stardust. Levi’s eyes were glazing over as he became lost in his fantasy but your grandmother’s harsh cough reigned him back in. “It’s Y/N’s horse.” Levi stated simply. Her mouth formed an O shape and she nodded in understanding. As much as he thought it was a pain in his ass, he loved the smile that creature brought to your face. “Well, that will do it, huh.” She affirmed pushing off the table and abruptly taking his empty cup. “How’s the shoulder?” She questioned as she poured a fresh batch of coffee into the reservoir. “Still aching, but better.” He replied, rolling it around a little to show her. She nodded silently and drew closer, placing the drink gently in front of him. He returned her gesture with a small smile.  “Do you think you have enough energy to help me with my shipment?” She suddenly inquired, hand resting on the table. Levi stopped mid sip and looked at her with a quizzical expression. Shipment? “I have to ship out some tulips today, some dusty politician has a banquet tomorrow.” She said dismissively. “What about Y/N?” Levi said this as more of a statement than a question. Surely one person had to be around in case something came up. What if she awoke an no one was there to assist her? Even worse scenarios swam through his mind. “I have a so called housekeeper .” Your grandmother rolled her eyes. Damn your family really was more well off than you had led on.“I insist that she stops coming but that lass is hellbent on helping me with this estate. If you can even call it that. ” Your grandmother mumbled the last bit. “She comes by everyday around 11 am whether I like it or not. So we will leave once she arrives.” Levi’s brow knitted with worry. Would a housekeeper be able to care for you as your grandmother did if your body suddenly rejected the applesauce? If a stitch came undone and the river of blood became unclogged-“Son, don’t worry. The girl has known Y/N all of her life. She’s an apprentice at the apothecary in our village, I couldn’t think of more capable hands besides our own to leave her in.” Your grandmother comforted his silent spiral into anxiety. It was curious how she was able to continue to hone in on what he was feeling. Levi contemplated her statement for a moment, finger idly running along the rim of the china. “Sure.” He agreed. Even though the idea of parting with you in this condition made his nerves flare up, you trusted your grandmother with all your heart so that meant Levi should too. “Splendid, I will begin the preparations.” She cheered, clasping her hands together and pushing off the table. A warm bowl of oatmeal and another cup of coffee later, Levi found his arms shaking slightly under the wooden crate. Who knew flowers could be so heavy. Of course his body wouldn’t have recovered within a day but he had never felt so exhausted in his life. “Is there a post office where we are going?” Levi asked asked between heaving breaths as he loaded another crate into the back of the carriage. Your grandmother rounded the vehicle and dropped her gaze to the paper sticking out from his pants pocket. “Mhmm, we’re going to drop them off in town. It's about a quarter short of an hour's drive from here. From there, a royal attendant will pick up my goods and we can be on our way.” She explained. Before turning, she pointed to the parchment. “Is it a love letter to the Commander?” She smirked. Levi rolled his eyes and went to grab another crate. With every box he placed onto the polished surface, a waft of fresh scent would pass through his nose. He's never smelled anything quite so aromatic and pleasing before. “That should be enough. This is one of my smaller orders.” The little woman stated with satisfaction. She turned with the poise of an ex-soldier and moved to sit on the porch steps. Levi mimicked her movements and settled himself onto the heated wood."And now we wait for that troublesome girl."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Levi!” You called, voice as chipper as the song birds flitting between the branches overhanging the sparring arena. His head turned to your voice instantly and altered his trajectory from the entrance to HQ to align with your path. As you jogged over to him, you noted the furrow in his brow and the slight tilt of his head. “Don’t you have to be at titan simulation right now?” Levi inquired, noting the ODM gear cinched to your hips. “Yeah, but not for another-” You started, rolling up the beige fabric of your sleeve to glance at your watch. “15 minutes. Which is plenty of time!” The conclusion of your statement held a giddiness that made Levi’s heart flutter even though he hadn’t a damned clue what you were up to. You sure looked excited about something; from the way your tone bounced like music notes to a joyous song and how your lips desperately were trying hard to not curl outward. “Do you have 15 minutes, Captain?” You asked with a poised yet playful salute. Levi shook his head fondly at your cheesiness. “Depends on what’s going on for those 15 minutes.” He replied. Levi regarded you with sly expectancy, amusement dusting his features. He had to admit, he was quite curious as to what had you riled up. “I need to tell you about this dream I had.” You beamed, allowing your smile to break free from its confines. Levi rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back a soft smile of his own. You had a special gift when it came to dreams. To put it lightly, they always made you seem like you belonged in an insane asylum. “Is it going to be scarring?” Levi quipped with a slight grimace. He recoiled with an airy chuckle when you jabbed him in the ribs. You pouted and manifested a glare that would have put Eren to shame. “No! Trust me, you need to hear it.” You urged and grasped Levi’s relaxed hand with the two of yours. You already knew his answer, for rarely did he refuse your propositions. He just liked to act like he would, that faker. Levi sighed, but warmth exuded from him like a kettle puffing gentle steam. “Alright, let’s go sit in the shade. The damn sun has been burning my skin off.” ↞♞♘↠The sun-baked wood of the ornate porch was warm under your bare feet as you padded out of the house. Your eyes crinkled shut at the angle of the freshly risen sun and rose a hand to your forehead to fight the incoming rays. The scene that unfolded before you gave you the indescribably immense urge to paint it; for what it held you wished to immortalize. Your painting hand ghosted over a phantom brush and brought into full blossom the vibrance of your dream world. At the horizon, fluffy titanium white brush strokes sailed through a gradient of cerulean to azurite until they grew softly into the shape of the tulips you adored so. Caresses of yellow ochre, alizarin crimson, and violet amethyst filled the field as your hand drifted to the foreground. There, wisps of rich obsidian against ivory skin boldly rose against the delicate hues of the fields. Levi was illustrated with his back to you, his gaze fixed on the chromatic ocean of flowers. On his hip was perched something that sent your heart throbbing and caused your brush to falter as your body was suddenly raked with intense emotion. A little girl was held tight to his side, his steady arms wrapped around her tiny form. Her yellow dress fluffed out against his hold and complimented her elegant locks that were a lovely hue resembling Levi’s cobalt. Oh how you longed to be the sun’s tendrils as they embraced her head and illuminated highlights of your own hair color within her mane. The swelling of your heart caused your body to stagger slightly, the boards creaking in protest. The noise made your presence known and your two muses turned their heads against the ethereal glow to regard you. Levi’s gray eyes were no longer dulled with the weight of the countless fallen comrades he carried upon his broad shoulders. Instead, the tulips’ bright pigments danced within them and you could feel their affection from your place on the porch. The heaviness to his face had been lifted with the sunrise and what was left was a smile just as radiant as the heavens themselves. Your gaze then fell to your little girl, her cherubic features nearly causing you to believe that you had walked into an eternal paradise. The innocence in her emerald eyes was not clouded by fear of your grotesque world. Never had she witnessed her loved ones devoured nor heard the cracking of their bones as their vocal chords squeezed out their final pleas. Her existence was like a clarity in the murky cataracts that glazed over the eyes of all who resided within the walls. Your angel wiggled in Levi’s grasp until he relented, leaning down to set her on the grass. The moment her saddle shoes touched the earth, she was sprinting towards you with a brilliant grin that beckoned you to begin running towards her as well. The sun was a cruel mistress as the moment your bodies collided her blinding white light engulfed your painting before you even had the chance to frame it. ↞♞♘↠Your smile was nostalgic as you recounted the dream and basked in the warmth it brought you. You were beginning to feel homesick for a reality that wasn’t yours. In the moment you had felt like a mother who was ripped away from her child, the only remnants of your euphoria a tear stained pillow and a very wet face. “See? No horrific events this time.” You huffed a chuckle and turned to look at Levi. When you did your breath hitched. His layer of neutrality had been peeled from his face, leaving a look of wistful longing. He wore a boyish grin and delight sparkled within his eyes. Your lips parted in awe, for your corporeal Levi began to rival the luminescence of his dream counterpart. When he spoke, his words gave life to your masterpiece once more.“Someday we will make that dream a reality."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa Rainbow Parrot ~ A tulip whose vibrant warm tones burst from deep violet petals like festive firecrackers. ↞↠↞↠↞↠“Where is that frilly lass? We are already behind schedule.” Your grandmother exhaled and tapped her foot impatiently. Levi idly counted the butterflies that fluttered at the foxgloves planted along the polished steps he sat upon. In all honesty, he didn’t mind the waiting. The longer they lingered at the property meant less time for his anxiety to rear its ugly head the moment they left you behind. The harsh crunching of dirt under boots collided with his ear drums as a young woman raced into view. She held fistfulls of her jade colored dress with one hand while the other struggled to keep the satchel on her shoulder as it flapped wildly in time with her pace. “‘Bout time.” The old woman huffed, crossing her arms and assuming a position that reminded Levi that she was once a high ranking officer in the armed forces. The girl that Levi presumed to be Felicia skidded to a halt in front of them. Her ragged breaths broke the mid-morning calm and her erratic movements had scared off Levi’s counting material. “I’m here gnädige Frau! So sorry I’m late, I was preparing some tonics for miss Y/N and-well-” Felicia was heaving and inhaled sharply before continuing. “I dropped the first batch on the floor so I had to clean up the glass but the shattering of the bottle gave me such a fright that I knocked over the mixing bowl and thus there all my ingredients were now wasted so I had to return to the apothecary to fetch new ones and-” Due to her lack of breath, her excited explanation was barely understandable the longer she carried on. Your grandmother held up a hand signaling her to stop. Felicia coughed once and immediately straightened up, clearly intimidated. She brushed the stray honey blonde baby hairs that had haphazardly escaped their hold back into place behind her ears and stood at attention. “Felicia, that’s enough.” The lack of surprise in your grandmother’s voice let Levi know that this kind of interaction was nothing new. “This is Levi. I’m very sure you have heard of him, as has the entirety of the walls.” She gestured to Levi with a nod of her head. Felicia gasped, immediately spewing apologies for not greeting him immediately. “Oh my! Captain, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Felicia sputtered politely, attempting a deep curtsy. Her bag fell dangerously close to the ground as she did so and she just barely caught it when the strap slipped down to her elbow. She fumbled to collect herself and proceeded to salute enthusiastically, puffing her chest and looking straight past either of the other soldiers in front of her.Levi shot a quizzical look at your grandmother who just shook her head and sighed. “At ease?” Levi responded. “Come inside, girl. It’s a shame that this is your first meeting with Y/N in a while.” Your grandmother turned on her heel and started up the stairs. Levi stood up and waited for Felicia to follow her, however she stood impeccably straight at the bottom of the porch. Levi regarded her with raised eyebrows. “After you.” He stated unsure, arm extended towards the door. She squeaked and nodded vigoriously and trotted into the house, all the way her bag clanking loudly. The creaking of the stairs was a prelude to the horrified gasp that resounded through the doorway. Felicia’s expression mimicked your grandmother’s when he had presented you in your state. The pure sadness that hummed along her features gave Levi a glimpse at what he must have looked like when he had seen the abnormal swat you out of the sky. “Gnädige Frau, w-what happened?” Felicia’s voice crackled with emotion and her hands shook against the leather in her hands. “Titans, that’s what. Her cuts are deep. I reckon she’s got some fractured ribs, too, based on her bruising.” Your grandmother responded. Levi stood at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed into himself and a hand resting at his chin. “I tended to her most pressing wounds last night. But I’m afraid her body has gone into shock and she has yet to wake up.” Felicia nodded, tears beginning to pool at the corners of her eyes. Levi felt a pang in his chest for the girl. You had told him many stories about her; her character painted with fond childhood memories. It was a surreal experience for Levi to be putting so many names and concepts to faces when you weren’t here to experience them with him consciously. “What have you brought?” Your grandmother inquired, snapping Felica out of her bubbling well. “U-um, some tonics, antiseptics, salts.” She sniffled.“Good, good. You are a fine apprentice indeed.” Your grandmother praised and moved so Felicia could get closer to you. Felicia began unloading the contents of her bag. Levi watched as glass bottles, their liquids a rainbow of colors, were laid out on the table. Her practice seemed more like witchcraft than medicine. “Where exactly do you apprentice?” Levi asked, curiosity and slight worry about the extensiveness and obscurity of her collection getting the better of him. Felicia halted her actions and stopped what she was doing to properly address Levi, standing straight as an arrow. “Oh! Besides being a housekeeper for the Vogel estate-” “Hush, this is no estate. Maybe during my father’s time but now it's just a house.” Your grandmother mumbled while eyeing a thin-necked bottle with a foaming liquid inside. “R-right, Frau Vogel. In addition to being a housekeeper for the Vogel family , I am also an apprentice at the local apothecary. Krovla’s hospital is constantly overrun these days, so I’m learning how to treat the locals here.” Felicia explained with a formality that contrasted with her scattered personality. Levi nodded in understanding.  “Felicia, you don’t need to treat Levi like a prized artifact. He’s not your superior officer so stop with this saluting-bullshit. You’re the same age for Pete’s sake.” Your grandmother said, annoyance seeping onto her face. Felicia let out a squeak and nodded slowly. She was clearly uncomfortable about casually addressing someone of more experience, even if they were the same age. While she was apprehensive about improperly addressing authority, she was not apprehensive about talking. Levi quickly learned that she was quite the nervous chatterbox.“Captain, gnädige Frau, would you both help me set her up please.” She requested, giving one of her bottles one last inspection and a final swirl. “Captain, open her mouth please.” Felicia instructed softly. Levi was sitting so close to you that his thigh almost brushed your forearm. Yet, he was afraid to touch you. It was strange, and gave him that familiar stomach churning feeling. How could something so loved and familiar to him feel so fragile and foreign? His thumb ghosted over your pale lips and with as delicate a hand as he could muster pulled down your jaw. He held it there while Felicia carefully had you drink the tonic. It was a painfully slow process where Levi fixed his gaze on your limp form still performing living functions. “It is wonderful that she is able to swallow.” Felicia commented, relief evident in her voice. She screwed the cap back onto the bottle and discarded it next to her bag. “Mhm. It could have been much worse.” Your grandmother answered. Her statement rang true but cast a dark cloud over the already damp room. Felicia picked up on this and cleared her throat. “You know, Captain, when Y/N has been able to return home she always talks about you. She goes on an on and on about your handsomeness, selflessness-” Felicia adorned a nostalgic smile as she recalled your musings. The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched upward into an almost grin. Damn, you made him sound like prince charming. Which was appreciated, but couldn’t be more far from the truth. “I gotta say I agree with her that your height is very cute-” She drawled and then bristled like a startled cat. Your grandmother could not contain her guffaw and slapped the now wide eyed Felicia on the back. She didn’t have a filter, poor thing. Like a fawn with a blabber mouth caught at gunpoint, she was. Levi cringed and let out a deep sigh. “I-I mean-that’s not a bad thing...right?” Felicia was now as red as a beet and looked as if her head was going to explode out of embarrassment. Levi didn’t respond, only regarded her with the unfamiliar steeliness that scared many. Frankly, Levi couldn’t give one single shit about how tall he was; or anyone for that matter. But the incessant declaration of cuteness by comrades and strangers alike never sat well with him. Like a fly ceaselessly buzzing against a window it cannot cross. Usually the teasing would be solved with force but he was not about to use that on your family. “What’s with that look? There’s nothing wrong with being short, I mean look at me.” Your grandmother stated confidently with a wily grin.↞♞♘↠The glee of the capital’s festival bled through the streets and blanketed every corner of the city on this celebrated evening. Everywhere he looked was another smiling face infected with the festival cheer. Levi couldn't deny that even he was not utterly immune to the happy virus. His good mood was mostly due to you (and being able to finally rid himself of the stuffy capital officials), or moreover his alone time with you. After the opening ceremony, which was mostly glorifying the military police while the garrison and corps were there to stand there as ornaments of the government, was mandated break time for all soldiers. You two had simultaneously ditched Eren and Jean when they started getting competitive with the festival games and swerved Hange when they got particularly excited about the fancy delicacies. Your mood, on the other hand, had done a complete 180 since ditching your decorated uniform for civilian clothes. Your fingers pawed at the fabric of your baby blue dress as intrusive thoughts began to slither through your mind like the blindingly neon colored plush snakes that could be won as prizes. You weren’t usually one to be bothered by the opinions of obnoxious festival goers. Unless it poked at one of your deepest insecurities. A hundred times over you had told yourself to not let it ruin your night out. That your obsessiveness was stupid. Irrational even. That Levi had proved your persistent opinions wrong many many times. But like anyone knows with a thought that was born deep under your skin and resides within your tissues, it's very hard to eradicate. “Would you ever date a girl who is taller than you?” One guy asked, gesturing discreetly in your direction from their spot behind you in line. “Nah man. I wouldn’t be able to feel like a man. She’s sexy though, so even if I was shorter than her I’d make an exception.” One of the others added with a charm only a teenage boy could find appealing. The rest of their party hummed in agreement. You tried your absolute hardest to focus on the lively drum beats, the elated stomping of dancers, and the boisterous pops of fire crackers. Yet their uninvited snickers remained replaying through your mind. You attempted to present as unbothered as Levi passed you his corndog. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and gave his shoulders a few lazy rolls. You were supposed to be enjoying the Festival of the Hearth, supposed to be watching Levi lose to you at the hammer strength game, supposed to be happily eating your coma-inducing fried food, supposed to not let comments like that infringe on your happiness. The mental strain of your last expedition paired with the exhaustion that followed official government meetings left you with a petri dish for growing your insecurity. You knew you didn't need the approval of strangers but it ate away at you nonetheless. The victorious chiming of the bell at the top of the game rang with such force that it pulled you out of your pity party. “I beat you.” Levi announced and turned back to smirk at you. He accepted the plushie, a creature somewhere between a turtle and a duck, from the carnival worker.“Yeah, good job!” You exclaimed with forced gusto. When your grin cracked Levi squinted his eyes in suspicion. He regarded you with the sternness of a scolding parent, gaze flitting from you to the group behind you. “How you let other people’s stupid opinions drag you down still gets to me.” Levi looked up at you with light annoyance. His agitation wasn’t a stab towards you but rather frustration that you couldn’t let these things go. “What do you mean?” You abruptly answered. The hastiness of your reply was about as convincing as a wilted flower. “It’s useless to play dumb with me. Why are you listening to random brats? Don’t you do enough of that back at HQ?” Levi chided as he cuffed his sleeves, the plushie held securely in his armpit. “Look, it’s not that big of a deal.” “No, some people talk too fucking loud.” Levi added, voice like a razor blade. His eyes were a weapon and dug so sharply into the men that they all began to find the neighboring cotton candy machine incredibly visually stimulating. You then hastily pulled Levi to the side to not clog up the line for the game. “I heard what they said and it shouldn’t matter.” He said as he traded you the food for the plush. It was soft to the touch and looked at you with cold but adorable eyes. Akin to how you would describe those belonging to your love.“I know. It’s fine, I’m fine.” You assured, hugging the turtle-duck to your chest. You knew too well he wouldn’t pick up the bullshit you were putting down. But, eh, it was worth a try. He deadpanned and held your gaze so intensely that soon Tesla coils were spinning in the space between the two of you. “Come on.” He beckoned. His voice was almost too low to hear over the ringing of the carnival games. He weaved the fingers of his free hand with yours so to not lose you as he led you through the hustle and bustle. No words were shared along this walk, allowing all the sensories of the festival to set in. Bodies danced past you in varying frenzies, confetti blasted in sporadic showers from the rooftops, and the artificial lights from the carnival games swept you up and made you feel like you were in another world. Only a passing hello was exchanged when you briefly bumped into Sasha and Connie in line for the baked potatoes. Levi parked you at the boardwalk. Plump tulips swayed in time with the music along the base of the railing. The river was alight with wishing lanterns, each one of them twinkling like fallen stars along the rippling water. He unbraided his fingers from yours and gave you that electric look once again. He turned to you already assured of the outcome of what he was mentally planning. “Do you wish I was taller?” He inquired nonchalantly. He leaned against the railing and took a bite out of his corn dog. You huffed, a bit taken aback by his question. When he regarded you with one brow raised, that half smug grin of his made it click. He was trying to get you to realize the absurdity of your worries. 
As if you didn’t already know. 
“Of course I don’t.” You pouted. The warm light that bobbed from within the floating lanterns danced along your skin, giving you an ethereal glow that briefly made Levi forget what he even asked you. He found your hypocrisy amusingly irritating. Levi had no self-consciousness about his appearance, for it really didn’t matter to him. He was aware that he was considered “handsome” by you and plenty of others but it was all dirt off his shoulders in the grand scheme of things. The workings of his physicality is what was more important, not its aesthetics. “What if I said that I hated myself because I am short.” He questioned again. The evenness with which he posed his question did nothing to hide his lack of sincerity. You stared at him like someone who knew they had already lost a bet. “Well you already hate yourself so-” You responded dryly, attempting to divert the conversation away from your ebbing embarrassment.  Levi rolled his eyes and continued to wait for the response he desired. “Fine. I would say that it’s dumb to think that way.” You mumbled, resigning to his logic. Levi’s lips curled. The annoyance that had surrounded him before was dusted off by the soft eyelashes of the night sky. He ditched the remnants of his corn dog in the nearest trashcan and approached you so that only a few inches separated your bodies. “I would never wish for something as trivial as changing your height. The fact I have to slightly look up at you is one of the most insignificant things in my life.” He stated, tilting his head gently upward to meet your gaze.  His sincerity struck you like an arrow and embedded itself so lovingly within you that it shot all of the pesky doubts right out of your body. “I know thoughts can get stuck in that brain of yours but focus on what you think of yourself and not what a group of shitheads, or anyone, decides to vomit out of their mouths.” The vulgarity of his sentence made you smile and you nodded in affirmation. “Thank you, Levi.” You said, letting out one last puff air to rid your body of the sour mood. He grinned in return, blessing you with one of your favorite sights. Despite feeling like a slight doofus, Levi didn’t belittle you for feeling this way. Moments like these caused the kind man under the marbled facade to peep through and made your chest swell with even more love for him.“Here, there’s one more thing I want to do to further prove my point.” He said, gesturing towards the wooden booth selling wishing lanterns. Once a few dollars were handed over, the woman behind the counter gave the two of you square pieces of parchment and a pair of quills. “I can think of a million other things I would rather wish for.” Levi reaffirmed as he dipped the quill in the inkwell. “Like for the titans to fuck off into oblivion. To make Eren’s asshole the only orphus on his body so I don’t have to deal with his constant screaming. To get Hange to stop asking me for my toenails. Fucking disgusting.” He muttered the last part with a grimace. His attempt to make you laugh had succeeded and his heart bloomed with warmth when he heard you giggle. “For a bigger bath so we have more room to-” He began casually, instantly being shushed by your finger to his lips. With his lips blocked his eyes smirked instead. “You can’t write that.” You interjected in disbelief. “Why not? No one is going to see it. My lantern, my wish.” He replied with a shameless shrug. You shook your head and set down your plushie to start writing your own.“See? No height changes on this.” Levi declared after a few moments. His sudden display of paper made you quickly conceal yours. Your eyes skimmed over the colorful, yet surprisingly lovely language that dipped you in a feeling as warm as the sugared glaze of the carnival donuts. “You have a lot of wishes.” You commented. Granted, most of them were obscure and seemed only to be there to lift your spirits. “This world fucking sucks.” Levi responded as if it was the simplest thing within the walls. You couldn’t completely argue. “What did you wish for?” Levi prodded as he eyed the paper you held face down to your chest. You defensively folded it in half and closed it within your palm. “I can’t tell you or else it won’t come true.” Levi exhaled and pursed his lips.“You don’t believe that bull do you?” “I can’t risk it.” You said stubbornly with a playful grin. “Tell me or I’ll revoke your prize.” Levi urged slyly, nodding down to the turtleduck on the table. You gasped lightly and scooped up the piece of fluff into your embrace. “You wouldn’t dare separate me from our child.” You accused with feigned offence. Levi looked into those dark, synthetic eyes and huffed. “We could never produce something as ugly as that creature.” Levi threw back. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from cracking a smile at your exasperated look. He would secretly admit, the animal was actually pretty cute. “Well for being rude to your daughter you definitely don’t get to know my wish now.” You countered and picked up your lantern and began walking towards the river. You turned to look over your shoulder with an excitement that dismissed the family quarrel. Amidst hundreds of other festival goers at the river Levi held your lantern as you secured the paper to the inside with yarn. After doing the same for him, you lit the candle near the bottom with a match. The delicate ivory siding of the lantern crackled under your tender touch as you raised yours to the sky. Levi mirrored your movements. “Ready?” You asked. The two of you looked at each other with unspoken fondness. “Yeah.” Then, your chambers of light and worldly prayers slipped past your finger tips and into the cosmos. Two pairs of outstretched palms bid them farewell as they sailed into the galaxy to form a constellation with the thousands of other lanterns that peppered the sky. Those now empty hands were filled with the comfort of each other as they relished in the last few minutes of tranquility before they slipped into the crowd to regroup with the others. ↞♞♘↠“Alright my girl, we are going to head out now.” Your grandmother announced, wiping her hands on the dish towel and placing it next to the sink. The awake members of the household had gathered in the kitchen before leaving for town. “Right! I shall start planning out Y/N’s dinner and ours as well.” Felicia said with a determined glint in her eyes. Your grandmother smiled softly at her passionate response. “Fine, but do not feel obligated to clean anything while I am gone. Although I know you will.” She instructed with a playful sternness. Felicia laughed bashfully before tilting her head in a bow of compliance. Levi and the old woman’s boots tapped against the porch steps and down towards their awaiting carriage. “Why don’t you just make her leave if you don’t want her service?” Levi wondered aloud. Your grandmother chuckled gruffly as she lifted herself onto the front seat of the wagon with youthful agility. “As much as I grumble…” She began with a dreamy sigh. Levi awaited her reply as he heaved himself into the seat next to her, faltering slightly when he had to use his sore shoulder. “I can’t kick her out because she makes the best schnitzel within these walls.” She confessed, her features glazing over in longing for the immaculately fried breading and juicy pork.  “So you have something to look forward to when we return.” Your grandmother declared with a crinkle of her eyes and a crack of the reins.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa humilis ~ A tulip whose razor edged petals hold a sharpness akin to an ill-fated quarrel. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Soon the quaintness of the surroundings turned into the bustling hub he had glided through yesterday. The city’s steeples were untouched by gigantic palms and virgin to their bloodied bites. Your grandmother parked the cart along the main street and bid Levi a farewell with the promise of a quick delivery. Levi hopped out of the iron carriage and landed on the ground with a satisfying clap of expertly paved brick against his boots. After successfully depositing his letter into the letter box outside of the post office, he silently observed the busy mid-morning rush. Bakers displayed their sweet aromatic fresh bread, paper boys cycled vigorously as their bikes spewed water from the night’s rain, and your grandmother was networking with the smartly-dressed representative across the street. Levi was enjoying watching a poor passerby being swatted by a stray cat when two children across the way caught his eye. He was mid stretch when he realized they were staring at him. They would steal excited, and blatantly obvious, glances at him. The boy could not have been more than 10 years old. He was a stocky child who looked like he should be sharing some of his breakfast with the timid girl next to him. She was fiddling with something in her hand but through the fanfare of carts and foot traffic he couldn’t quite make out it’s identity. He decided not to be creepy and went back to his viewing of the street fighter match in front of him; the cat now battling a church going woman in her Sunday best. Cat was winning. Levi was so engrossed in the brawl that he had not noticed the children snake through the street to come and tug at his pant leg. He stiffened at the unexpected touch and his head whipped towards the disturbance. His eyes narrowed sternly, but softened when he saw their elated expressions. “Captain Levi?” The boy chirped, bouncing on his heels. Levi could feel the excitement radiating off of him like a firecracker. “Yes.” He responded curtly. He wouldn’t deny that he was quite awkward with children. He didn’t dislike them but he didn’t know how to act around them. The little boy looked as if he was trying to hold back a scream, like a little sponge soaking up all of Levi. The boy motioned rapidly for the girl to approach. Her face lit up immediately and she pranced over from her spot a little ways away. “I never thought I would get to meet you in person! My sister and I want to join the Survey Corps and fight for humanity just like you and the commander!!” He declared proudly, falling into a salute. Levi could tell the boy had been practicing by the precision of his limbs. The girl nodded in affirmation, clenching her little hand into a determined fist. “Hey-Heidi you forgot to salute!” The boy scolded his sister and clapped her on the shoulder. She squeaked and immediately mimicked the boy’s position.“Good for you.” Levi congratulated their enthusiasm and waved their vigorous salutes off. His praise put sparkles into the young ones’ eyes. Levi felt a pang in his heart for their romanticism that would be no doubt shattered by the reality of what is out there.  “Just you wait, I’m going to tear my sword up through all of their gigantic, shit-eating asses!” The boy yelled triumphantly, eyebrows knitted into a fixed line and his sword hand aggressively jabbing at the air. The child’s profanity left Levi a bit speechless, but he found it amusing. He liked this kid. “Big brother, shh! Mom said that potty mouths are what make the streets so dirty.” The girl attempted to hush her brother with her hands, their height difference dooming her to fail. “Where did you get such a flavorful vocabulary?” Levi questioned the boy who looked more than happy to answer any inquiry laid upon him by his hero. “It’s what my dad always calls them.” The boy answered and Levi nodded in approval. “Mr. Levi.” The girl finally spoke up, her voice as delicate as her auburn curls. Levi directed his attention towards her and watched as her plush cheeks turned rosy. “You’re humanity’s hero! And mine too so-” She began and the boy snickered.“Heh, she wants to marry you, you know.” The boy interjected. His comment caused the girl to wilt like a crimson tulip and she lowered her gaze. The hand she still held behind her back shot further into hiding as she now seemed to be reluctant to share. Levi exhaled and ran a frustrated hand through his silken hair. He didn’t really know what to think, no one has ever so innocently and genuinely told him that he was their hero and that they wanted to be like him. Let alone marry him. Hell, not even you had said anything like that. Sure, people praised him, admired him, lusted for him and his position. But something was different about this little girl’s confession. His heart softened. He kneeled down, sucking up all the joint pain to seem unphased in front of the kids. “What are your names?” He asked.“Fynn!” The boy pronounced with a beaming grin.“Heidi.” The girl said meekly. She smiled too; not as wide as Fynn but still glowed with the same happiness. “Fynn, Heidi. It’s wonderful that you want to help humanity, but right now focus on being kids and don’t grow up too fast.” He put a hand on their heads, albeit a little stiff, but they didn’t seem to notice. In fact they were absolutely thrilled. Levi could almost feel the pure energy vibrating off of their giddy forms and into his palms. “Don’t worry about having to stick a sword up their disgusting asses just yet.” Levi added with a small half smile that made Fynn gasp in excitement. “And Heidi-” Levi started gently, looking into her eyes and making her blush even more. “What’s behind your back?” He inquired, nodding to the hand she still held out of sight. Heidi tried to hold eye contact with her idol, but didn’t last more than five seconds before she sent her eyes downcast once more.  Without meeting his gaze, she uncovered her hidden hand to reveal a crown of dandelions. For as young as she was, it was beautifully crafted. “I was going to give this to my mother but...now I want you to have it!” She explained with determination and held it with both her hands extended outward towards Levi. He took it to humor her and released it from her little grasp. When she still didn’t look at him, he cocked his head to the side to meet her downcast gaze. When her shy eyes locked with his he warmly smiled. “Are you sure?” He asked and she nodded firmly. “Thank you.” Levi said, causing her to giggle. “Well hello darlings. Out for a day on the town?” Your grandmother’s voice rang with a candied sweetness. She was now standing next to Levi, hands on her hips with a wide grin that wrinkled her cheeks. The children nodded happily. “Yes! We are waiting for our father to get out of work so we can walk home with him. That’s when we spotted Captain Levi!” Fynn explained. Your grandmother chuckled at their peppiness and looked over to smile at Levi. “Oh? What is this Levi?” Your grandmother craned her neck to get a better view of the floral headpiece in Levi’s hands. Still in his kneeling position, he held it up to her for her to examine. When she delicately took it from him he gruffly returned to his feet. “Oh how beautiful. Did you make this sweetie?” She asked Heidi in a lovely tone Levi had not heard uttered from her lips. Heidi only nodded once more, swaying bashfully. “Levi, why don’t you put it on. This little one worked so hard making it.” Your grandmother chided, placing the ornamental crown on his head without warning. Levi shot her silver daggers and she tried to hold in her impending laughter.“Are you Mr. Levi’s grandma?” Heidi asked with an inquisitive knit to her brow. Before Levi could clarify anything he was cut off by the older woman.“Oh sure, this is my grandson. Such a brave kid, just like the both of you.” She cooed, making the children glow with happiness even more. She moved to ruffle Levi’s hair to which he swatted her advances away. The children found this amusing and continued to giggle. “I’m going to need to be taking him home now. I bet your father is probably looking for you as well.” She announced and the children deflated a bit knowing their time with their hero was up. “Aw, but we just got here!” Fynn whined with a violent pout. Your grandmother chuckled at his infatuation. “How about a little treat for the road?” She offered, reaching into her dress pocket and pulling out a chocolate bar whose golden rapper rivaled the sun. Both children gaped at the dessert. She broke the bar in half and distributed it to them. They chimed a chorus of thank yous through their practically watering mouths.  “Run along now.” Levi bid them a farewell with a casual salute. The children said goodbye with one final elated salute of their own and skittered back across the street. Levi watched them for a moment making sure they made it safely back to their waiting place.“Don’t you look pretty.” Your grandmother snickered and drew his gaze from them. He then remembered he had just been crowned king of the pansies and ripped it off his head gingerly enough to not break it. The cart ride home was filled with a pleasant silence. However, the thoughts within Levi’s mind weren’t so kind. The decadent aroma of your grandmother's chocolate and the interaction with the children earlier, as harmless as it was, resonated too similarly to an ugly memory he wished he could forget. ↞♞♘↠Many go numb when they experience a loss so immense that it feels like their world has been yanked from underneath their feet. Levi did not get that pleasure. He felt like he was experiencing every sensation on the planet. Whatever he touched scorched his fingertips in icy flames, every time he opened his eyes the light seared his pupils, and each time the blaze of rum burned his airway it did not do a thing to subdue the absolutely immense feeling.  ~~~Levi’s heart sank with his leg as his boot squelched against the freshly moist ground. The only part of this kid that was outwardly identifiable was the wide open eye that stood out against the bloodstained face like a bright emerald sea. And even that wasn’t much to go on, Many of the cadets had eyes that color. Levi sighed and lowered himself into an awkward squatting position, grunting as he tried to keep the fresh splint on his right leg straight. He moved a gentle hand over the eye to let it rest and not be exposed to any more horror. The lashes dipped delicately into the remnants of skin that had been peeled back much like the rind of a citrus fruit. Levi’s fingers hovered over the splinters of ripped flesh and pools of gooey blood, the odor that seeped from them wafted past his unwavering gaze. Every scout’s jacket was personalized with a name in the inner lining for this exact reason. He lifted the jacket by the lapel and looked at the embroidered letters. 
Emilia Schrieber. 
He kept a straight face as he picked up his folder and began penning her name onto the list of the deceased. He straightened himself up with another noise of discomfort and hobbled over to the next body. Emilia’s neighbor was as equally as unlucky. Titan canines had sliced right through his waist, snapping his body in two and leaving behind only a horridly torn torso. However gruesome the boy was now, he was easily identifiable at least, Levi reckoned. 
Shit this kid was the newest member of Hange’s squad. 
As he picked through the rows of their dead, he mentally envisioned having to write the mind numbingly cookie-cutter letters of deceased to their families and how a piece of paper would never be a fair trade for being able to hold their children again. “ My condolences Mr. and Mrs. Schreiber your daughter Emilia-”  Even when death is an old friend, when it visits its knocks never get lighter. He felt like he had failed. He was no god, no guardian of the hunt. But as a squad leader he was responsible for those of lower rank, and by being a second late he had let those gargantuan molars grind one up. And he even got injured in the process, becoming useless on top  of everything else. He had felt the flames of his temper being fanned as soon as his leg had been bound so he had opted to do this work in solitary while the rest of the scouts recovered on the main grounds of the outpost.  ‘died bravely on the battlefield. She-’ Levi could visualize the horrified expressions of the girl’s parents as their features contorted into uncontrollable grief. As the rancid smell of death emanating from the words on the parchment brought them buckling to their knees. He was nearing the end of the third row when he just barely registered your voice. “How is your leg feeling?” You asked softly, fatigue and something else he couldn’t quite place dragging your voice down. You hadn’t seen him for a few hours after helping Hange splint up his injured leg.  ‘was awarded an honorable medal of exemplary service for her dedication to-’ This sentence disgusted him. As if some esteemed piece of iron would fill the vacancy of their lost daughter. He looked up at you briefly, only slightly acknowledging your presence before going back to his morbid recordkeeping. “It doesn’t hurt when I don’t move.”  He responded curtly, not even grimacing as he lifted a sticky limb off of the soldier’s chest. You hummed in acknowledgement, standing awkwardly aside him with your hands clasped behind your back. He wanted to be left alone, and you had respected it. But naturally you wanted to come check on him and give him some company. You followed him silently for a few bodies when he dropped his pen during a struggled attempt to squat again. You caught him by the arm, feeling the stiff weight of his muscle as he tried to steady himself. He brushed you off gently and you bent down to grab the pen for him. Just as your fingers had clasped against the plastic, a small silver object fell from your shirt pocket. You blinked a couple times before smiling. You picked up the piece of chocolate, its metallic foil crinkling in your hand. “Levi, remember that kid we met in town last week?” You reminisced, the lightness of your memory a stark contrast to the scene set before you. “Mhmm.” Levi acknowledged your question but did not push you any further. You worried at your lip but took his silence as an invitation to continue. You hoped maybe something cute could lighten his mood. “I forgot that I still have the piece of chocolate in my pocket he gave me.” You chuckled. It was a miracle to you how the little candy still resided with you after all that had happened mere hours ago. “I would like to have a kid like him someday. Wouldn’t you?” You smiled as you popped the sweetness into your mouth. There was a pause where only the shuffling of Levi’s papers and the rapid beating of your heart after you had realized what you absentmindedly said were heard. You and Levi had never really touched on the topic of children, given the circumstances, even though you were getting more serious in your relationship. Something in Levi switched, as if someone was turning on the lights to his office without his permission. The stress, death, and feelings of inadequacy from his injury were all suddenly blasting him at full volume. He didn’t mean to direct at you, but you were the only other living being there. “Why would I ever want children when all of these kids are being sent home to their parents in pieces? Everyone should just stop having kids at this point.” Levi snapped, turning towards you with an anger that you had never seen directed at you before. His response left you speechless and it took you a moment to collect your thoughts. “I meant after . It was just hypothetical, Levi.” You could feel yourself caving inwards at the sharpness of his words, but you remained composed. You didn’t have time to be sensitive now. “How can we afford hypothetical fantasies when we can barely keep these children alive?” He growled, looking back at the bodies. “We did the best we could…” “Yeah well, look where that got us.” Levi mumbled, the frustration that radiated out of him was palpable. You could see now that this conversation was spiraling uncontrollably. You reached out to touch his shoulder but faltered, and drew your hand back. Rather than adding more fire to the flames, you held back. “Are you alright?” You asked choosing your words carefully, hiding how his comment stung with a furrow of your brow. “I just-” Levi exhaled and knitted his eyes shut. He wanted to snap at you the least of anyone.You could see something was really bothering him. You opened your mouth to say something when the shuffling of boots and clanks of a harness turned your attention behind you. Jean approached you two with a swift gate. “The horses are all saddled and we are ready to go whenever you are.” He said in an even tone, making eye contact with you and smartly avoiding the intense eyes of the captain. You nodded once and he turned on his heel to head over where your squad was grouping up by the rustic stable. “ Oh fuck no you aren’t going where I think you are, are you?” Levi said in disbelief, almost with a laugh. He roughly stood up and straightened out in front of you, his leg quivering in whiplash. You narrowed your eyes, starting to get annoyed at his chastising tone. “If you mean taking my squad to recover those letters then yes.” “That’s reckless Y/N.” Whether or not that statement was true, it felt like a dagger into your gut coming from him. “Well, I am a squad leader and it is my squad. So I can be the judge of my own negligence.” Levi’s silence was disconcerting, a challenge for dominance you were not going to submit to. “Levi, it’s going to be dark for a few more hours and those correspondences hold information about the Reiss’ that are indispensable to us. My squad is the only one that has all members uninjured besides yours. And you can’t ride properly with your leg. We need to try otherwise this whole-” You started passionately, gesturing to the field of decay. “Excursion will have been for nothing.” “Were we at the same bloodbath earlier?” Levi scoffed. “Those letters are speculated, we don’t have concrete evidence that they were even worth losing more lives than we already have.” One look at your makeshift camp and an onlooker could see that it had been a massacre. Few were left standing unscathed in some way after a reconnaissance mission to intercept letters went sour. A hoard of titans had torn a large chunk in your numbers with a precision and calculation that acted almost as if someone had planned it. “Exactly, we can’t know for sure. Any information we can get on the inner dealings of our government is one step closer to ridding our cities of this plague!” “You don’t have the experience I do, Hange does, or the other squad leaders. Compared to us you are a child. Alone out there, you will be exposed.” Levi yelled with exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air. “ How dare you. ” You fumed. The way he said child prickled your skin. It was true that you had just become a squad leader and yes this was your first time leading them on an excursion. But you damn well wouldn’t let him call you a c h i l d.  “I am your superior officer and I don’t authorize this departure.” He ordered harsly, glacial like a vacant cabin buried in mountain frost. The uncomfortable squeezing of bottled tears against your eyes was replaced by outrage at how unreasonable he was being. “Oh so now I’m incapable of making decisions on my own?” “Not if they are as idiotic as this!” “Oh seriously, fuck you. I don’t need a permission slip from you, Captain.” Levi wanted to punch something. He wanted to pound his fists into the earth until they reached bleached bone. Instead he settled for mutilating his pen, the poor utensil snapping in two in his riled up grip. “This is what I mean! You’re being just like every other brat in this corps. Just fucking take it and follow orders.” Levi’s temper had reached its summit and exploded outwards. His was breathing heavily now as you stepped towards him so you were inches away from his face. “Just because I’m a child doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself. I’m a squad leader now for a reason. Why don’t you get your middle aged balls out of your ass.” Your tone bit with a deathly venom. “Only if you get your delusions out of yours.” He replied darkly. You held his gaze in a deadlock, neither of you backing down until Levi broke the silence. “Y/N do you want to get yourself killed?” His voice held the same harshness but was laced with a bitter plea. “If it comes to that I guess you won’t have to worry about having children.” You sneered with a crack in your voice. Levi said nothing, keeping his eyes fixed on his broken pen littered in the grass. As you left, you tossed him a spare pen, a parting gift that left him alone with his throbbing head and stiff limbs. ~~~Erwin had instructed that everyone return to headquarters, having given your squad special clearance to return when the mission was completed. Levi’s frivolous anger had subsided into incessant anxiousness. That he kept to himself of course. That night, the argument had replayed through his mind on a brutal and obsessive loop. The memory had an insatiable hunger and would eat every other thought that arose, persisting behind his eyes and enduring when they snapped open and viewed the ceiling. Levi stood by his statement about children to an extent. But he didn’t mean to articulate it in the explosive way he did. Hours and hours of playing grim reaper had made him vulgar that night, which was no excuse to infantilize you, and Levi kept failing to come up with rational explanations for his icy behavior. The only conclusion he circled back to was a desperate, broken man trying to keep his more than capable loved one from riding headfirst into carnage while he was unable to protect her.  And by the walls did he ever want to have kids with you.If only parallel universes existed. Being a father terrified him almost as much as the bleak future of their pocket world. As he began to realize his feelings for you, though, a plethora of domestic scenarios that were so foreign to him had discretely danced through his brain. And now he might never get to talk to you about it again. He didn’t close his eyes again that night. The days felt blurry and Levi felt as if he was living in a haze. The tingling tendrils of grief were taking root and sending both his mind and body into a dull ache. His leg began to bounce frequently when he sat. His fingers grew weary at picking at their own skin. Guilt and self hatred became his constant companion, stealing his food and occupying his hours of rest. But meager seeds of hope still lingered under that skin and were not uet uprooted by his cultivating anxiety. By night three, the only thing Levi obtained from the unsuccessful search party was taxed lungs assaulted by the frigid air. His voice cracked with overuse when Erwin called it a day, the internalized anger and frustration boiling over like water in a bubbling saucepan. Erwin was being level headed, of course, and he was right in calling off a grueling twelve hour search party by sunrise. But he did not attempt to fight Levi when he lingered at the site, Hange volunteering to stay with him. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry when the two of them found a tatter of your cloak snagged on a canopy branch. When his fingers started to go numb from his raw grip and the biting morning chill he wondered if you, too, were cold. Or if you could even feel autumn’s brisk kiss anymore. The sheer thought made him dizzy. On the sixth day with no news or inclining to your squad’s whereabouts the darkness became increasingly tantalizing to Levi. As his eyes gazed dully at the intricate patterns of hardwood that made up his desk, he found himself contemplating joining you. If you were indeed already in the afterlife, that is. Death’s sweet embrace had taken so many from him already, why not ferry him across as well? Why was the raven-feathered mistress torturing him so with vital puffs of air when she had continuously taken everything he cared about as he aged? These thoughts were most alluring when he left his head under the bubbles of his bath and felt the pressure caressing his lungs. Or when he sat alone at his desk with only the gurgling of his vile last words to you stabbing him between the ears over and over and over and over and over and-And yet, the more he pondered this the more he realized he did have things he cared about still. He cared about eradicating the shitty government. He cared about making sure not another child had to witness their mother dismembered by the grinding of massive teeth. And you. He didn’t know if you were gone from this world yet, and even in death he wouldn’t be able to live with himself for abandoning you. So,He rose from bed and went about his duties as normal and ignored the stinging absence of you at the dining table. When someone tried to get his attention he would ignore the echo of your voice calling his name the last time it graced his ears, pained and burnt from his fiery temper. He led combat training. He talked to Eren. He ate dinner with Erwin, Hange, and Mike. He did paper work. He lived life as normal, yet everything was as tasteless as it had been before you and even worse than before Farlan and Isabel. Attachment breeds suffering, no matter how sweetly aphrodisiac it is. He found this at the forefront of his mind during your absence. But was that attachment worth the utter pain he felt? Your smile would keep telling him yes. He walked with an open wound in his chest, so gaping that he was surprised crows hadn’t come and began picking the flesh from his bleeding heart. And when you returned that arid morning Levi felt a glimpse of what he believed the followers of the walls felt. A communion with his savior, an angel who had returned with hardly a halo atop her crown. He barely registered how he arrived at the cobblestone precipice, for the moment Hange had uttered your name he had floated with the adrenalen of a thousand horses to the HQ entrance. When he laid his eyes on your rugged, but outwardly unhurt, form color flooded into his vision once more. Six horses had returned, your steed at the front of the party. Jean was clutching to your waist, his eyelashes fluttering and fists balling at the fabric of your blouse as he struggled to remain conscious. Armin was also doubled up; in his care was a handicapped scout who no longer possessed the entirety of their right leg. Connie and Sasha looked the healthiest of the returning party. Your horse was pawing at the ground as if he was aware of the urgency as Erwin helped Jean down first and into the arms of a resident nurse. Your expression was hardened with the repressive gaze of a squad leader, keeping your emotions and physical pains in check for the members under your control that relied on you. It was this look that bombarded Levi with fierce waves of regret. Your body was harboring the soul of a poised leader. Only, you weren’t possessed at all.  It was you. His foolish words meant shit. Erwin then reached for you and you gratefully let his strong arms gently place you onto the earth. Your legs wobbled a bit from fatigue and you needed to steady yourself with a hand on the commander’s forearm. You began collecting your bearings and allowed yourself to take in your surroundings. In an instant, your eyes locked with Levi’s and he felt himself begin to crumble. Tears began to stream down both of your cheeks like liquid stars. He raced against the disintegration of his body like it was a ticking time bomb. It was like two comets colliding and bursting into galaxies of stardust when his body reached yours. The two of you melted together, the force of your cosmic union bringing you to your knees. He babbled incoherently through his hyperventilation and his arms grappled at any inch of your body he could hold. His body violently vibrated with all of the futures he wanted to have with you as he dry heaved over your shoulder. Your tears pooled with his, now able to let the floodgates of the week’s trauma, anguish, and suffering free. You held each other as if an otherworldly thread had been tightly weaved around your embrace.“I-” He hiccuped and buried his face further into your neck. “I know.”↞♞♘↠ The wheels screeched against the brake applied by your grandmother as the two of them arrived back at the estate. “Levi.” “What?” He hummed from the other side of the carriage. His head was barely visible to your grandmother, having just jumped off. “Call me Oma.” Levi’s eyes widened slightly in shock. “Y/N calls me Oma, so please I’d like for you to as well.” She said, her tone uncharacteristically benign.  “Alright.” 
Oma.

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Fever↞♞♘↠Today was not one of your best days, physically or mentally. It had downpoured that morning, leaving the training grounds coated in slippery rivers of mud. Despite the less than ideal conditions, Pixis had insisted that the cadets still complete their daily training tasks. Equally as unideal was the remnants of a fever that still clung to your fatigued form. You were not exempt from training, however, as the onsite nurse had given you the okay for physical activity despite your joints still aching and sporadic chills. You sloshed through the mud, trying to distract yourself from the rapid pounding of your head against your skill as you jogged. And just as you started feeling optimistic about your exercise, your foot caught in a deep trench of slush and twisted your ankle so awkwardly it sent you flying into the mud. Your face stung from the impact and the gritty taste of dirt coated your lips. The footsteps of other cadets against the wet ground sounded like thunder against your ears as they spared but a passing glance to your fallen form. You coughed and sat up, attempting to regain what sickly dignity you had left when a sharp pain in your ankle sent freezing jolts throughout your body. “Cadet, get your ass up and finish the run. A little rain shouldn’t stop you.” A barbed voice cut through the dreary haze. That voice that had once sat with you for tea was now positioned above you, vibrant pupils of ice regarding you through curtains of shadow.  “I can’t sir.” You whimpered. Damn, you hated sounding so weak. But the throbbing of your head was like the bashing of an army of percussionists about to herniate out of your skull and while your ankle was not sprained, you reckoned it would be if you kept pushing it. “Yes you can.” Levi articulated every syllable so crisply that each word felt like it was lodging you further to the cold ground. You struggled to gather yourself when a wave of nausea pulsed up your throat from the whiplash you gave yourself from flailing too quickly to appease his orders. The captain huffed in disbelief when you still weren’t standing. He had seen plenty of cadets fake sickness or injuries to get their lazy asses out of the morning run. “You think you can get out of the rest of the exercise just because you stumbled and got your uniform dirty? I think not, brat.” He scoffed, poking you with his boot. You were mortified at his insults and could only sit there in silence as your fever assaulted your body at all angles. “What happens when you fall out there, huh?” He spat. He knelt down and roughly grabbed at your arm to lift you up. You felt like a rag doll caught in his forceful grip as you felt the vomit rearing its anguished head but not yet charging out. "Or perhaps you think I'd baby you because you're related to one of my squad members." He continued. His insinuation combined with your disorientation fueled a frustrated pressure at your eyes. “The only person you can count on picking yourself up is you.” Levi added sternly and craned his neck to force your lolling head to make eye contact with him. You were about to respond when a pair of arms embraced you from behind. A noise of relief escaped your lips when your body found a steady source of support. You rolled your head back onto their shoulder to see the face of your roommate Mikasa as she gazed thorns at the captain. “Captain, she's been sick! She clearly can’t run in this condition.” Mikasa exclaimed, adjusting you in her hold when she felt you slipping. You felt too woozy to watch the electric scene unfold before you, but you could feel the kinetic jolts of defensiveness bouncing between their locked eyes. After what felt like an eternity on your end, he nodded in approval. Too weak to shower, Mikasa had dropped you off at your shared quarters after having you inspected by a nurse. Having to return to her duties she was anxious about leaving you alone. You assured her that you would be fine and that this bed is much nicer than a face full of mud and a boot in the face.  Your mishap with the captain had spread as gossip always does at HQ and as you expected the nosiest of the cadets was at the foot of your bed before you could even reflect on all that had happened. “I’m going to wring his neck with that stupid, tiny, cravat of his.” Jean seethed as he dipped the washcloth in the bowl. He mumbled about how the nurse had missed so much of the mud that still caked your flushed exterior. Jean’s delicate strokes of cool cloth felt heavenly as it moved over your exposed skin. “Not if I do it first.” You replied weakly. Now that your body had time to equilibrate, the anger for the way you were treated and the self pity you felt for not being stronger began bubbling to the surface. Despite his irritation, Jean carefully took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and gingerly cleaned your face.“But you and I both know we are no match for him. Even if we are taller.” You huffed bitterly. Jean rolled his eyes and nodded in resentment. “Yeah, he’s got too much strength in that tiny body.” “It's all in the thighs.” Your disdained muffle made Jean chuckle. A moment passed of comfortable silence where only the soft droplets of water against skin and cloth were heard. “I promised Oma I would watch out for you, Y/N.” Jean said in a small voice, toying with his bottom lip in insecurity. He soaked the cloth in water once more, this time going to clean your neck. “That’s kind of hard to do when you’re always tripping over yourself after every girl we train with.” You tried to lighten the mood, sighing when the sweet cooling sensation came back.“Yeah, well that girl today was you unfortunately.” He retorted. “It would be better if we were on the same training schedule.” You and Jean were in separate training squadrons and more often than not didn’t see one another besides meals and downtime. You had a sneaking suspicion that you two were assigned separate schedules because of your friendship, seeing as your closeness could be a distraction to training. “Seriously, though, I don’t intend on breaking my promise. Even if I’m an ass most of the time.” He promised with a sincerity you rarely heard from him. It was a seriousness that only those closest to him knew behind his arrogant shield. You smiled up affectionately at him and wondered how you got so lucky with a best friend like him. Sure he was stupid, headstrong, acted before he thought, and picked stupid fights with people. But he was also caring, sensitive, and stronger than he knew. The two of you were basically siblings at this point and you would do anything for him.Jean looked to you when you didn’t reply and his breath hitched in his throat at the love within your eyes. He blushed and narrowed his eyes in awkward inquisition. He was never one for the mushy-gushy.“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked with feigned disgust as he wiped your collarbone. “Just thinking about how you’re my ass, Jeanie.” You remarked and ruffled his hair with what strength you had. Your hand was a bit floppy with exhaustion and ended up almost poking him in the eye. He recoiled with a sputter and lightly placed your hand back at your side. “Ew, please don’t ever say that again.”  Graduation↞♞♘↠“I feel like my baby is graduating!! Is this what being a parent feels like?” Hange wailed and sniffled into your hair. The moment you had stepped off of the stage with your new badges they had caged you into a breath-stealing bear hug. “You’re going to pay for all my training equipment then right, Mom?” You teased into their shoulder and their sniffling immediately ceased. “Nevermind.” They said and pulled you outward so she could look at you. Their hands squeezed your shoulders gently.“Nonetheless, I’m so proud of you!” They proclaimed affectionately.“Thank you, Hange. That means a lot to me. I couldn’t have gotten this far without a squad leader as extraordinary as you.” Your confession was paired with a warm smile that sent Hange into a sputtering mess once again. “HOW DID YOU GET SO SWEET? I’m not going to lie, I’m going to miss being your squad leader.” They sighed and pinched your cheeks. “It forced you to spend time with me.” “I’m still going to be spending time with you, I’m on the titan bio-team remember?” You giggled as the pinching intensified and you swatted their hands away. “That’s true. I’m just going to have to get used to calling you squad leader Y/N.” They playfully saluted and you shook your head fondly.“Yeah you and me both.” “Now not only have you graduated in rank, but you’ve also graduated to the big-kid’s table.” Hange winked at you and your breath hitched. 
Oh. 
Your eyes darted over to the group of seasoned soldiers walking your way. They fell first to Erwin who was paced a few steps ahead, then to the lumbering tree that was Mike, and then to the shorter but no less intimidating captain next to him. Looks like it would be even harder to put your growing affections on the back burner. Little Friend↞♞♘↠"Oh by the goddess what on earth happened, Y/N?” Oma called. Upon seeing her dirt lathered 6 year old in the doorway she lept from her armchair and trotted over. You were the embodiment of an ice cream bar; a thick coating of mud covered every thread of your baby blue ruffled dress and every inch of your exposed skin. Your new Mary janes were caked with dried clotted earth and pieces of your curled hair was crustily sticking up with muck. Salty tears left streaks that exposed your true form underneath your outer shell. You took in a shaky exhale. “J-Jeanie called him ugly.” You choked back a sob as you explained. Your grandmother knitted her eyebrows and crouched down to your level. She gently turned you around to examine her little mud pie for any injuries or scrapes. “Who is Jeanie insulting?” She inquired in concern. She saw no one but yourself and you hadn’t said you were going to be playing with any other kids besides Jean today. Oma thought after serving in the garrison that nothing could surprise her. But when you reached into your left dress pocket with both hands and carefully pulled out a dark green, lopsided circular object she was proven wrong. You held it out with both arms fully extended and violently sniffed. “PUDDLE.” You wailed. Your body shook from your childish sobs and caused the object in your hands to croak in disturbance. Oma deadpanned, face to face with the slimy creature. “Why are you crying so much over a frog, my dear?” She blinked. You squinted your eyes a little to fight the incoming tears her words brought.“His name is Puddle!” You scolded her with a childish anger. “I apologize. Yes, Puddle.” She cooed, brushing the sticky pieces of hair out of your slobbery face and rubbing your cheek gently. “Jeanie called him ugly and, and then t-tried to take him from me and-” You swallowed hard, tears freely streaming down your face and nose running. You held the frog gingerly to your chest and covered the spots where it’s ears would be located with your fingers. “Said that he would eat him.” You whispered, bottom lip quivering uncontrollably. Oma huffed in disbelief at the whole situation but a warm smile graced her hardened features when you began stroking the creature’s head lovingly. “How dare he call this beautiful creature ugly. That boy is-” Oma started. “STUPID, HE’S SO STUPID.” You interjected, crying harder now. Oma brought you to her chest and let you get the rest of your waterworks out into her shoulder while she patted your back comfortingly. Puddle’s croaks were muffled by your embrace. “Yes he sure is, darling. Well, we most certainly will not eat him. Shall we find a place to keep him so Jeanie can’t hurt him?” Your grandmother proposed sweetly and pulled you at arms length to free poor Puddle from his human hug-prison. She booped you on the nose with her finger and you giggled, the remnants of your sadness fading away at the idea of keeping your new friend. You started brightly bouncing up and down like you were a frog yourself. “Thank you Oma!” “Alright, come let’s go see what we can find.” She got to her feet and straightened out her dress before leading you into the parlor to find a suitable home for your new pet. “Why did you name him Puddle?” She asked in idle curiosity. You seemed very passionate about that name. “He lived in a puddle, that’s why his name is Puddle.” You stated as if it was the most simple law of the universe. She turned back from her rummaging to see you holding Puddle above your head and twirling slowly. You would lower it every so often to give it an Eskimo kiss and then return to your little dance. Oma would never tire of seeing that childhood innocence and happy grin on your face.

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“Jean, I’m leaving now!” You sang out the window that overlooked the garden of your quaint cottage. You slipped your boots on with a leather pop and pulled up the scarlet hood of your cloak. As you padded out the door you grabbed the wicker basket from the table that smelled of wine and warm tartes. The late afternoon sun was at its strongest, basking your modest abode in an aura of warmth. And within the pumpkin patch that bloomed bronze in the sunlight was a sight to behold indeed. “ Move asshole.” Jean groaned as he put all of his strength into attempting to push your cow. She was unaffected and continued to happily graze on the dandelions you had forgotten to weed out near the edge of the garden. She flicked her tail in annoyance as if Jean was an incessant fly when he smacked her on the rear. “Whose being the asshole? How would you like it if you were eating and someone slapped you?” You chided playfully. Jean deadpanned in exhaustion and gave you the middle finger. His irritation rose with every non-existent step your bovine took. “Yeah well, it’s almost noon. That means the auction starts in one hour.” His statement turned into a groan as he gave another big ineffective push. “If we don’t sell her that means-”“Yeah, yeah. We’re broke.” You finished his sentence and made a swiping motion across your neck. Selling your beloved cow was the last resort and a stark reminder of how desperately you both needed money. Not only did you siblings have each other to support, but your aging grandmother as well. “ Exactly . So get over here and help me push her!” Jean pleaded. You sighed and placed the handle of your basket in the crook of your elbow. You knelt down in the plush autumn grass and cradled her large head in between your hands. She immediately stopped eating and regarded you doe eyed. Parting with the sweet creature made you want to cry, but you knew you really had no other option at this point. “Come on, Milky-White. I promise you will get to eat your fair share of hay at the auction house.” You cooed at her and she gave a sloppy lick to the side of your palm. Jean scoffed when you took the lead to the rope around her neck and she walked compliantly behind you.  “Are you ready to go?” You asked your brother with a smug grin. He rolled his eyes and nodded, brushing the dirt from his vest. When he fell in step with you, you handed him the rope and adjusted your basket to rest on your forearm. “I’ll walk with you part of the way. The auction is on the way to Oma’s.” You said and rested your free hand on Milky-White’s back comfortably as you strolled down the cobblestone path. Once you had gotten a fair ways down into the sparse village, the crunching of foreign feet against pine needles alerted you. A decrepit person emerged out of the thicket a few paces ahead. Their graying brunette locks were pulled back into a ponytail that made the most prominent feature of their face a bold nose. From behind their dirtied glasses they wore a smile that bordered insanity as they waddled closer to the siblings. You immediately halted and put a protective hand on Jean’s arm. “Well hello pretties. A fine day to take your cow for a walk, isn’t it?” The gremlin remarked shrilly. “Yes it is.” Your response was curt as you stood your ground. The old crone let out a chuckle that sounded as if they were squeezing air out of a dusty bellow. “Would either of you like some candy?” They offered. You assumed she intended to sound inviting but the rising pitch of their voice made it feel like you were listening to someone drag their nails across an endless chalkboard. They reached into her beige cloak and pulled out a large lollipop. You squinted at the fine print on the translucent wrapping.  ~Confectionaries by HZ~  “We’ll pass, thanks.” Jean replied coldly. The haggard witch began looking him up and down and licking their encrusted lips. “Are you sure? I’m a candy maker by trade and can assure you that you will never taste anything more-” They began, waddling closer to you. They bypassed your side and began circling you. “Exquisite.” They finished as they rounded her path behind you. You were now thoroughly repulsed. “I could give you a tour of my kitchen. I have a grand oven where I bake my treats, unlike the likes of any other. I bet it’s big enough to even fit you in it, my tall boy.” They bubbled and grabbed Jean’s arm. They gave it a good squeeze, feeling around the lean muscle. “We don’t want your food!” Jean bristled, his voice cracking nervously. Her jerked his elbow out of their grasp but spooked Milky-White in the process. They took a few clumsy steps backwards and caused Jean to stumble. You moved to calm them, all the while not taking an eye off of the stranger. Once Jean had regained himself you stepped in front of your family. “Thank you for the offer, but we really need to get going. We have an appointment we cannot miss.” You declared with a grin as sugary as their candy. Your visitor spat in frustration when you lifted the edge of your crimson cloak to reveal a concealed dagger strapped to your belt.“The feisty ones always taste the spiciest.” You heard them mumble as they creeped away in the direction from whence you came. Once they were out of sight, you turned to Jean and your precious cow. They both were breathing heavily. You gave them comforting pats and began walking again. “We need to move out of this village.” Jean whined and urged Milky-White to follow. Several scarecrows and window sills holding freshly baked pies later, you arrived at the crossroads to the auction. “Goodbye sweet girl. I hope that your new owners are as loving as me and nothing like my brother.” You said. You gave Milky-White one final smooch and scratched behind her ears. Soon Jean had to pry your pets and coos away from the animal. You backed off with a pout. "Make sure you sell her for at least 200 dollars or something valuable we can sell. And stay away from that weird wizard, he's for sure a scam artist." You instructed Jean. “Aw but I like Mike. He's got these beans that make you feel like you're floa-" You cut Jean's ramblings off with the sharpness of your glare. "Fine fine. Alright, I’m off. Remember to stay on the path and make sure you keep your hand on your knife at all times. And most importantly, be back before nightfall.” Jean instructed and gave you a look that tried to be stern but fell slightly short. “Yes, yes. Don’t worry, I’m always careful.” You replied to his nagging. “Yeah but you can’t afford to just be careful. Anyway, tell Oma hello from her favorite grandchild.” He called as he turned down the right fork in the path. You snorted and pushed forward, trodding over the stones that took you deeper into the woods. For a while it was just you and the conifers until an alluring song was carried by the light breeze to your ears. Delving deeper into the brush, you came upon a familiar face. “Hi Mikasa. Hello Armin, Eren.” You grinned happily as you passed the group. The war maiden was sitting on a large tree stump along the edge of the path. Her ornate shield rested in her lap as she lazily polished it with one hand and bit into a crisp apple with the other. She was a mercenary that had recently come to work in your village. As an apprentice at Master Connie’s blacksmith shop, you had interacted with the knight many times when she came in to sharpen her sword or shop for some wares. The two of you had grown quite fond of one another’s company and were on friendly terms. Her dwarven companions sat on either side of her; Eren’s intensely green glare watched you like a hawk while Armin peacefully beamed up at you. Mikasa wiped the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her palm.  Her hand brushed against the bright red headband that held her shortly chopped locks in place. “Hello Y/N. Lovely to see you.” She greeted, her voice rough with battle experience but as honeyed as the candy the weird woman had tried to tempt you with earlier. “You too.” You answered, feeling the flames of her firey gaze flushing your cheeks. “I must say that this gorgeous afternoon is much more beautiful now that you are here.” She sang and flashed you a charmingly captivating smile. As Mikasa spoke, sparrows flitted down from the canopy above to perch along her polished iron shoulder guards. They chirped at the melodic cadence of her voice but soon squawked when she shook them off in annoyance. The sun was making you borderline sweaty. Yeah, it was definitely the sun. You nodded in agreement, feeling speechless, and inhaled the fresh pine scent. “Where are you off to?” Armin piped up while Eren still gave you the stink eye. “I’m off to my grandmother’s to deliver her some wine and homemade tartes.” You said and patted the top of the basket. “Would you like me to escort you the rest of the way? It will be dark soon and who knows what wolves or other creatures are lurking in the shadows.” Mikasa offered and stood from the stump. The waning daylight bounced off of her armor and made her look as if she had crafted it out of pure sun rays. “No, it’s alright. I don’t have that much further to go.” You replied, flattered by her sweet gesture but unwilling to waste her time. Plus you were sure Eren would try to nip at your heels as you walked. “If you insist. But you’ll have to invite me over soon, okay? I would be honored to taste your cooking.” She said and delicately reached for your hand. She brought it up to her lips and placed a plush kiss to your skin. The fire that was once burning on your face was now rushing through every limb. “Yes of course!” You stammered bashfully, attempting to portray yourself as unaffected as possible. She chuckled at your reaction and regarded you gracefully. “Be careful, Y/N. Oh, and tell your stalker of a brother to stop following me into the forest. He’s not the one I want to spend time with.” Mikasa bid you a farewell that left you feeling as if you had drank half of the wine bottle you carried. “Yeah, or he’s gonna get a knife to the Achilles tendon.” Eren spat aggressively and brandished a cheese knife. You grimaced and turned on your heel to resume your journey. The remainder of your walk was delightfully uneventful, however, the mistress of time was not favoring you. When dusk began to nestle into the sky you quickened your pace in hopes to beat the celestial blanket to your destination. As you were beginning to trouble yourself with what you could cook that would impress the shield maiden, you arrived at the familiar picketed gates to Oma’s cottage. The calmness of the night almost lulled you into a false sense of security that you rarely felt at this hour. But it was unusually quiet. Even for nightfall. Nightfall.You had broken your and Jean’s golden rule. But you were here now, so it should be okay...right?None of the usual crickets were singing, none of the usual squirrels were scampering through the freshly fallen leaves, and none of Oma’s usual lights were on. With your hand placed securely over your dagger, you cautiously approached the residence. You tried to convince yourself that she had gone to bed early, that she was indulging in her pipe on her back porch, or that she had stepped out for a bit to get some last minute ingredients for dinner. The apprehension in your gut grew as you turned the door knob, only to be met with the door already open. Narrowing your eyes, you proceeded inside. The house was too devoid of light to see if anything was out of the ordinary. “Oma-” You called tentatively. The only reply was the shrill groaning of her weathered timber under your boots as you shuffled around to find some matches. Your hand sporadically patted down the top of the cabinet she kept in her foyer until your fingers brushed against the match box. You gripped the fire starters and lit the nearest candle. Picking it up by the brass handle, you padded into the living room.Immediately the viscous stench of iron assaulted your nostrils and caused you to audibly gag. You brought the hand with which you held the candle to your nose instinctively. The illumination this motion created uncovered a pale, delicate hand resting along one of Oma’s armchairs. You gasped in fright, inhaling even more of the putrid smell as you stumbled backwards. The wine bottle wiggled dangerously as you placed your hand on the fireplace shelving to steady yourself. “WHO’S THERE?” You yelled into the void. Your voice creaked like the floorboards under invisible footfalls that grew closer to your shaking form. In one fluid motion your dagger was unsheathed and held defensively in front of you. A deep chuckle that was as rich as your wine cut through the shadows. “Easy with the silver. I’m a friend.” It’s welcome was warm but the voice could not have sounded more frigid. “Oma doesn’t have any friends.” You declared through ragged breaths. Your head twisted and turned to pinpoint the source of the voice.“Hm. So the woman who lives here is your oma?” The voice asked ominously.You swallowed hard and tested the air; cutting through the space in front of you and meeting nothing but emptiness.“How did you know a woman lives here?” Your inquiry was ended with a sharp inhale as you felt a feather light touch to your shoulder. You were giving yourself whiplash as the voice seemed to be existing within the walls of the house itself. Was Oma still here? Hiding from this stranger? Or worse…“A simple guess by the décor.” The voice answered smoothly. The presence in the room intensified and now you felt palpable forms whirling on all sides of you. “Where is she?” You demanded, hastily pointing your knife wherever you heard a nefarious laugh or a murmur. “That is something I would like to know as well. I took time to come all the way out here.” Your mysterious company said. “It’s awfully late for someone to be traveling alone this far into the woods, don’t you think my dear?” The voice whispered incredibly close to the back of your ear. You startled and turned around, now facing the fireplace and leaving your back tantalizingly exposed. “Especially for one so-” It continued. Suddenly the pale hand gripped your wrist with such a force that it crippled your palm in pain and made your fingers grow numb. The dagger instantly dropped from your grasp and clattered to the floor. “Supple.” It cooed. The seductively sinister words slithered under your skin and seeped the oxygen from your lungs. Puffs of icy breath caressed the pulse point of your neck while a nimble hand traveled up your arm that held the candle and raised it to your eye level. You were whipped around and were met with a face accentuated by the soft glow of the candle light. Your antagonizer took corporeal form in the shape of a man who looked as if he was carved from exquisite marble. His skin was ashen as the stone itself and as flawless as a sculpture. His eyes shown with an argent luster that put your dagger to shame and regarded you with the molten intensity of a forge fire. He drew his face closer to yours ever so slowly. “Supple indeed.” He praised darkly. His tongue darted languishly along his smirk as if he was already tasting your every feature. “What did you do to her?” You got out despite the building dread of prey bubbling inside of you. The porcelain man clicked his tongue. “Absolutely nothing. That’s my problem. That there’s a lack of something to be done.” He explained and continued to smile at you devilishly. He stopped inching towards you once he heard your back hit the fireplace. With nowhere for you to go, he was now able to press his body flush against yours. His leg came to prod at your inner thighs while his hands pinned yours upwards by your wrists. His sharp nails dug into the already tender flesh and threatened to puncture your veins. You let out a cry at the stinging sensation and your mind screamed at you to knee him in the balls. But you couldn’t move. From the moment his eyes connected with yours, your body fell unresponsive. You couldn’t think a single thought without those silver bullets boring into your brain. Your rapids breaths were constricted against his broad chest as you teetered on the edge of death. “But I must confess I am quite happy with this outcome.” He said with a satin glee. The last thing you saw before he instantly blew out your candle were the brilliant pearlescent fangs that elongated from his idyllic grin. You heard a squelching as the flesh below your ear was torn open. It felt as though a flower with scorching petals was placed in the now gaping hole of your neck. Your limbs flailed like one of the chickens Oma placed on the chopping block. The stranger let out a velvety moan that only intensified the burning by sending shockwaves of vibrations across your torso. The longer he drank from your sweet nectar, the paler the flame ran until the pain became as white hot as his complexion. The man had just begun clenching his jaw to delve in deeper when a gunshot pierced the window in the foyer. Your captor ceased his drinking and listened. He turned his head towards the ruckus with his teeth still embedded with you. Suddenly, a silver arrow flew through the broken glass. “Come out, vampire. Or I will smoke you out.” A husky voice boomed from the yard. The man retracted his fangs and detached himself from your bleeding neck. The beast chuckled with the crispness of a newborn spring morning. He maneuvered your body so you could walk in front of him with your hands held securely behind your back. You weren’t sure if you even had the strength to use your legs. Walls, did you even still have legs? “Don’t struggle.” He ordered with a maniacal sing-song to his tone. You barely registered his command. The draining sensation of your bodily fluids freshly leaving you left you feeling like an overused blood bag. Your eyes widened as he began shuffling you to the doorway. “No-I can’t go-” Your voice cracked as you mediocrely attempted to grab at his arms. You stumbled into his chest as your legs struggled to work properly. He showed no signs of stopping as he continued to walk to the entryway. “Please…” You pleaded weakly as the rising moonlight peeked through the crevasses of the front door.The vampire kicked down the door with one fluid motion. The hunter was stationed in the main walkway of your grandmother’s front yard, crossbow loaded and aimed directly at the two of you. His leather tailcoat flapped along the gentle breeze and the bullet casings that rested along his chest reflected the cool gray of the stars. “We finally are reunited.” The hunter spat. His weapon tracked the vampire’s every movement with the precision of a seasoned expert as he dragged you out further into the yard.“Smith.” The stranger greeted the hunter like an old friend. He smiled, revealing teeth coated in your thick blood that dribbled down his chin like tumbling rubies. “Ackerman.” The hunter replied in a hardened tone. “It’s a shame that you resorted to your old delicacies.” Ackerman hummed and licked the front of his teeth, sighing in satisfaction as he reveled in your metallic palate. “Squirrels just didn't satisfy me.” He snickered and walked his pointed fingers up your shoulder. A single digit entered your gaping wound and swirled in your juices. You shuddered at the needle-like pressure.  Smith’s prominent brow furrowed in disgust when Ackerman brought his finger to his mouth and sucked. “Drop the girl, she’s almost dead anyway.” Smith said, his stance unwavering. “Want my leftovers, eh?” Ackerman laughed. “I guess I only ever see you by the light of the moon so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were one of us.” In your delirium you had begun disconnecting yourself from reality. But the vampire’s last phrase kept the final, unspooling thread from snapping. You heaved your neck sideways with the remaining strength you harbored to gaze up at Ackerman. His lips were as red as a summer cherry and his skin looked even more iridescent next to the moon. He looked like he could have fallen from the celestial body itself. The moon.The instant your eyes gazed upon its circumferential radiance your pupils dilated as the lunar rays rocketed into your eye sockets. The full moon. 
Be back before nightfall.

You can’t afford to just be careful.
 Your brother's words echoed in your mind as the moon began bathing you in luminous ivory pain. “Oh no.” You whimpered. You squeezed out a wail as the searing ripping of your joints elongating and reconnecting overtook your entire being. The convulsions of your body caused Levi to release you from his grip with a hiss. The vampire hunter and hunted could only watch as you hunched over agony with freshly punctured claws raking through Oma’s neat lawn. Coarse hair soon sprouted out of your exposed skin and your strained cries grew octaves lower. The buttons of your dress flew free with crisp pops and the seams of your poor dress were pulled apart by your bulging muscles. Your jaw unhinged and lengthened until your face resembled the wolves that Milky-White used to chase from your chicken coop. Your tortuous yelps suddenly mingled with a deafening gun shot from the gate. “What in the Peter Piper’d fuck is going on at my house?” Oma hollered, rifle pointed at the sky, as you let a howl pierce through the night. Suddenly you were jolting awake and pawing at the sheets. Your heart was beating erratically as you shakily brought your hands to your lap. They looked blissfully normal. You heard shuffling from outside of the bedroom and Levi was soon standing in the doorway with concern mapping his face. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He asked in minor alarm as he came to sit next to you. He was already in his harnesses and uniform so you gaged it must have been early morning. Levi’s eyes searched your clammy form for any signs of outward distress. You sighed in relief seeing your usual pillows, usual closet, usual bathroom, and most importantly; usual Levi. It had all felt so real.“I’m fine, Levi. I just had the strangest dream though.” You exhaled as you came down from the high of your slumbered adventure. “I think your weird dreams stress you out more than being a squad leader does.” Levi chuckled as he ran a gentle hand along your back. You closed your eyes and revealed in the peaceful feeling of his palm along your night shirt. It was a stark contrast to the gory fantasy you just emerged from. “Do you want to talk about it?” He added with more seriousness in his voice. You just stared at him. He stared right back, blinking blankly as you analyzed his features. Your hands reached up and took his jaw between your hands. Your thumbs lightly pushed up the corners of his upper lip to reveal his teeth. Levi made a noise of complaint but didn’t swat you away. You leaned in closer to check his canines for any vampiric qualities. When you were assured they were of normal length, you pulled back satisfied. “Nope, I’m good.” You smiled and planted a quick peck to his lips before jumping out of bed to get ready for the day. Levi watched you pad into the bathroom as he felt his teeth in confusion. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Eren looked at you nervously as you eyed him from your place behind him in line to get lunch. He looked down at you and gulped. “Is everything okay, Y/N?” He asked apprehensively. You narrowed your eyes and placed your hand level with the top of your head. You brought it straight out towards Eren, hitting him square in the forehead. “You’ve always been taller than me, right?” You questioned, looking from your hand down to his feet. “Uh, yeah.” He confirmed, regarding you suspiciously. He fidgeted with the sides of his plate as you puffed your cheeks in contemplation. Finally you nodded in satisfaction. “Do you own a cheese knife?” ↞↠↞↠↞↠“Hange, have you ever thought about owning a candy shop?” “Y/N. Why would I do that when I barely have time to analyze the retinal samples from Bean’s eye?” ↞↠↞↠↞↠“You’re dismissed, Y/N.” Erwin’s parting smile betrayed the professionalism of his order. You bowed your head respectfully and walked to the doors to his office. Your fingers dusted over the brass handle but hesitated to grab it. You turned back towards your commander and paused.When Erwin didn’t hear you leave, he looked up from his desk.“Is there something else you need, Y/N?” He asked.You stared at him long enough to lace his brow in slight concern. His coat was the same length, same color, same style as your own. “I-I like your coat.” You laughed nervously and threw him an awkward grin. Before he had the chance to answer you had bowed your head and hurried out the door. “Thank...you?” ↞↠↞↠↞↠Today it seemed like you were playing errand girl more than squad leader. You questioned why you even put on these chafing harnesses as you ferried yet another stack of documents back to your office. “Hi Y/N, do you want to get dinner together later? I still have some tartes too that I bought when we were in town last.” Mikasa smiled at you as she passed you in the hall. You involuntarily began blushing furiously. “Definitely, I’ll see you in a couple hours!” You sputtered as you hurried down the hall, slapping your cheeks as you went. ↞↠↞↠↞↠“Jean.” You called, looking up from the paperwork that littered your desk. The boy who was lazily sprawled out on your office couch hummed into his book. “We’ve never owned a cow together, right?”“What the fuck?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa clusiana ~ A delicate tulip that resembles a pale star, shining in the indigo expanse of the night. ↞↠↞↠↞↠ You coughed. Actually... coughed.  A sound had been pressed from your slightly agape mouth. While Levi would have preferred it to be words or an utterance of consciousness, he would take what he could get. He didn’t know if it was pathetic that his heart swelled with happiness at the occurrence. “That’s it, my Y/N.” He praised and stroked your cheek affectionately. “Oma-” Levi yelled, his call rising in strength as the newfound name left his lips. A harsh clanking followed by rapid footfalls against the stairs brought your grandmother into the room with Felicia hot on her heels. Her chest fell with heavy breaths and her housekeeper looked as if she was prepping herself to slay a dragon. “She coughed.” Levi stated. He allowed a rare unfiltered grin to spread across his features. Oma looked from him to you and soon her alarm blended into a smile of her own. “Maria, Rose, and Shina boy you almost gave me heart palpitations.” Oma grumbled but the warm look never left her face as she padded over to you. She held her hand above your mouth and felt the steady breaths on her skin. “That’s such good news!” Felicia said with clasped hands. “Indeed. Her body is slowly regaining some normality.” Oma lovingly gave your hair a few strokes before turning to Levi. She gave him an unusually sweet grin and he grimaced at the strangeness of it. “You should smile more. It suits you.” She mused smugly. The upturned corners of Levi’s mouth comically went slack at her comment. “Come have some tea with me. Felicia won’t let me in that damned kitchen without pecking at my ear. So we’ve been banished to the living room.” She added with a flick of her wrist. Levi gave you one final glance and followed her down the stairs. When the two of them had reached the main hallway, a rapid thudding from the front yard stopped them in their tracks. “Oh, it better not be that goddamned wolf again.” Oma hissed and reached for her shotgun. With disregard for her slipper clad feet she stormed out onto the porch. Levi jogged out behind her, almost bumping into her as she undid the safety on her gun. “Wait!” Levi shouted and preemptively put a hand on her shoulder to keep her from cocking her weapon. She halted with his grip but raised the barrel of her shotgun to her eye. “Damn, It’s that cursed horse.” She sighed and put the safety back on her weapon, propping it up along the siding of the house with a frustrated movement. Your horse was absolutely deflowering whatever poor tulip that fell under his hooves. He would gallop in one direction, head swinging and tail cutting through the wind, only to playfully buck up and then zoom away in the opposite direction. His obsidian coat absolutely contrasted with the flourish of bright colors that nipped at his hooves. It was the most Levi had seen him run freely in his life, and to be honest it was kinda beautiful. He had no fences to confine him or HQ pastures to deprive him of this endless botanical ocean. The creature that he saw before him now was a world away from the sad one he took care of yesterday. And Levi was at least glad for that. “Well how the fuck did he get out? Did you forget to lock the stall door?” Oma seethed, waving her hands in frustration and hobbling down the porch steps. She looped around to the side of the house, where tethering poles were located and grabbed a halter and lead rope to catch him with. “I did lock it but that never stops him.” Levi exhaled, absorbing her well-earned anger as he followed closely behind her. She mumbled sweet nothings about humane euthanasia and turning him loose to be a wild horse until she stopped at the edge of her field. Noticing he had company, your horse slowed his aggressive drifting to a halt and watched the two attentively. His nostrils flared with his excited breathing and the three beings held a staring contest within the gentle chroma of petals. Taking his stillness as an invitation to come get him, Oma carefully trudged between the rows of flowers. However, she did not get far, for when she got within a reasonable distance he suddenly snorted and skittered to the side, destroying even more of the crop. Oma snarled and began stomping over more aggressively while being mindful to step around her moneymakers. For every one step she took in his direction, your horse trotted about four feet away and stopped, as if taunting her to come in further and destroy even more plants. Levi watched nervously from the main path. He decided it was time to jump into action when Oma managed to get within range of looping the lead rope and halter around his neck. Your horse suddenly delivered a powerful kick that if she hadn’t deftly dodged would have clocked her right in the ribs. Oma cursed in simmering frustration. “Stop, you’ll get hurt!” Levi called, mindfully stepping through the field and grabbing one of her arms to stop her from advancing. “Let me try.” He gave Oma a determined look to which she grumbled and surrendered him the halter. Levi approached the animal calmly to only be met with the same snotty behavior. He closed his eyes in annoyance and heard your giggle ring through his mind.
He loves it when you talk to him, see?
“You don’t have to freak out stupid.” Levi told your horse, noting the nervous giddy in his eyes. “I’m sorry I called you a little shit yesterday, Puddle.” Levi continued through monotone gentleness and advanced slowly. Oma shook her head in disbelief.“Am I watching a play about a princess right now? Are you going to start talking to the flowers next?” She huffed. Levi shot her an icy glare over his shoulder. Puddle snorted and eyed Oma as if in response. “Apologize.” Levi turned to her with his default blandness. It was time Levi got back at her for all her incessant teasing. “...Pardon?” She spat. “You think that bastard will comprehend?” “Y/N says he understands what she is saying so; apologize. He won’t let me catch him until you say you’re sorry.” Levi was trying to hold back a smile and Oma’s perturbed features. “Believe me, no one thinks it's more ridiculous than me.” Levi added. “Maria, Rose, and Sina fuck me.” She mumbled before standing her ground, unamused.“I’m sorry I was rude to you..uh-what did you just call him?” Oma started. “Puddle.” Levi stated. “Why does that name sound so familiar?” Oma furrowed her brow in thought. “She named him after her pet frog.” Oma exhaled and shook her head once more.“Puddle.” His ears perked up at the mention of his name. Levi eased himself closer and there were no more protests from Puddle besides a few anxious paws at the dirt. “I hope he didn’t cause too much damage.” Levi sighed as he reached up to buckle the halter around Puddle’s head. “Not significantly, just more weeding for me now.” Oma chuckled dryly. She fell into step with Levi when he exited the field. “Of all things why did she choose such a cutesy name for a warhorse?” Oma wondered aloud. Levi almost laughed at the memory her question drudged up. “She received him when she graduated from the cadets. It was rainy that day. When he was brought out to her, he immediately laid down and rolled in a muddy puddle. The brat got all dirty and she laughed when he shook mud on everyone.” The smile that graced Oma’s lips held as much vibrancy as her flower crop. That kind of look seemed to take over her features every time you were mentioned.“Put him in the pasture instead of the stall, he can tear up my grass to his heart’s content.” Oma instructed when they got to the front yard. Levi nodded in confirmation. “And meet me inside after, Felicia should be done with dinner by now.” Levi let out an exhale that puffed his cheeks as he stood in the yard for a moment, gathering his bearings. He looked over to Puddle who was munching away on the grass, acting as if he hadn't a care in his life. "You're always going to be a pain in my ass huh?" Levi mused aloud as he jerked on the lead rope.  ↞♞♘↠Another droplet of sweat slinked its way down the side of your face as you heaved yourself up from the dirt. “Good job Armin!” You praised the boy who gasped for air. “Your technique is improving.” “It doesn’t feel like it. I still lost.” He laughed nervously as he graciously took your hand and let you pull him up from where he laid on the ground. You clicked your tongue in disapproval. “In sparring matches it doesn’t matter who ‘wins’, it just matters if you improve your skills. The true winner is the one who comes out of whatever situation you are faced with alive.” You assured, boosting his confidence with an encouraging smile. “Thanks, Y/N.” He replied with a more confident grin. “You’ve gotten so philosophical since you became a squad leader.” Jean commented with a hint of snark. “Someone needs to be the brains of this operation. I’m definitely second to Armin.” You lauded at the shorter boy and he blushed. “Even I'll admit we’re at the bottom of that totem pole Jean.” Connie snickered and Jean scowled. “That makes me the brawns then?” Jean questioned rhetorically. You rolled your eyes at his cockiness and Mikasa snorted from her place on the fence. “You also didn’t beat me in our sparring match.” You countered playfully. “You just said that winning doesn’t matter.” He quipped back.“That doesn’t apply to you.” You teased and stuck out your tongue. Jean was about to counter attack when Sasha butted in. “Yo, Y/N. Captain Levi and Eren are back.” She said between bites of her fries she had stolen from the leftovers of today’s lunch. She nodded behind you and you turned to see them walking towards your group. Since the incident with Annie and the devastation that befell the special operations squad, Erwin decided to combine the talent of your squad with that of the remaining members of Levi’s squad. Thus you became joint squad leaders. You usually trained all together as one unit but when Levi worked with Eren one on one, you were left with Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, and Sasha. You looked down at your watch. “It is about time we’re scheduled to be done anyway, see you guys later!” You grinned with another successful sparring session coming to a close. The mob of scouts moved out after they had said their goodbyes, absorbing Eren on their way back to HQ. Levi nodded at the group in a silent address when they passed them. “Hi.” He greeted when you came to stand in front of him. “Hey, enjoy the show?” You teased and casually fixed where his collar had blown up haphazardly. “Mhm. I love watching you kick other people’s asses.” He replied with a hum as he craned his neck to give you better access.“Someday if you’re lucky, I may even kick yours.” You winked and he huffed. “You don’t have any plans tonight, right?” He asked, confirming you had the evening open for him. You shook your head.“Nope, you told me to free up my schedule.” You beamed. Levi smiled softly. “Good. I have a surprise.” He stated simply. The way your eyes bugged out of your head caused him to chuckle fondly. 
Surprise? Levi? This was something rare. 
“Follow me.” He instructed with a smug half grin. He led you to the stable where his horse was already tacked. Dandelion, as you had named her after her flaxen coat, had a flannel blanket secured to the back of her saddle framed by saddle bags filled to the brim. “I couldn’t get him, as usual.” Levi sighed and you giggled in understanding. “Be right back.” You said with a gentle hand on his arm as you passed. You re-emerged from the pasture a few minutes later with Puddle in tow. The ride through the forest was blissful. Levi led the way through the lush grove of trees, the warm chroma of the fading sun’s tendrils breaking through the canopy and nuzzling into his dark locks. Your ride took you not too far from headquarters and soon you found yourself face to face with a lovely sight. Before you lay a pond; ducks flapped about in the cattails, crickets harmonized along its edges, and the water sparkled in the waning daylight. You dismounted Puddle with your mouth hung open in awe. “How did you find this place?” You almost whispered, too enamored with the little cove framed by towering pines. It felt like a secret spot. Your secret spot. “I was on my way back from one of the outposts and came across it. It’s...nice isn’t it?” Levi explained as he dismounted and began unraveling the blanket. He snuck a peek at your amazed expression and felt himself swell with warmth. “Yeah, it’s wonderful.” Levi walked over to the large grassy area and flicked the blanket open and let it fall flat onto the earth. “How can I help?” You asked, still oblivious to the purpose of this excursion. Not that you were complaining. The inner romantic in you was squealing in delight. “I’ll do it, go check out the pond for a bit.” He smiled with a nod in the direction of the water. Leaving the horses to graze near the entrance to the clearing you trotted down to the water’s edge. It had been so long since you had been in such a natural space. It reminded you of the big lake in your village where Oma would take you and Jean fishing as kids. You were being lulled into a state of relaxation by the gentle ripples of the water when Levi’s call brought you back to reality. “Ready.” When you regrouped with him, the fruit of his actions manifested a grin that was so wide it hurt your cheeks. The blanket was adorned with two plates and a basket full of delicious smelling food. You couldn’t contain your excited grin as Levi patted the spot next to him. “Did you make this?” You asked in shock as Levi served you grilled salmon and a warm roll. “Yes.” Levi chuckled at your continued amazement. You took the plate gratefully and smiled when he reached for a thermos you knew had to contain tea.“By yourself?” You pressed. He side eyed you as he poured you a cup. He blew on it once and passed it over to you. “I...had some help.” He confessed. “One of the cooks?” You guessed as you grabbed a fork and napkin from the basket. “No, surprisingly. Erwin.” Levi stated as he took a sip of the tea. Your eyebrows furrowed in astonishment. “No fucking way, Erwin cooks?” You chortled. You pictured Levi struggling with the stove and being corrected by Erwin who stood watch over his shoulder. Your happiness was contagious and Levi began laughing too. “I was shocked too.” He smiled genuinely and hoped you could see how warm you made him feel in moments like these. In all moments, really.Your meal was enjoyed with your usual playful banter and discussions of your days. “So what’s the occasion for all of this?” You finally asked when you had both finished eating and tidying up. It wasn’t your anniversary, it wasn’t either of your birthdays. It wasn’t Puddle’s birthday either. (Yes, you indeed celebrated that.) Levi cleared his throat in response. His cheeks were dusted with the faintest of roses. His uncharacteristic bashfulness had you practically vibrating with anticipation. “It’s uh, the day that you first told me you loved me.” Levi declared with a tenderness to his tone that he rarely expressed. Your heart threatened to burst from your chest as it filled past its brim with pure affection. “You remembered the date?” You asked, tears welling at your eyes at the touching confession. You remembered the time as vividly as if it had happened yesterday but not the numerics of the day. Levi nodded and brought his hands up to cup your cheeks. The devotion that burned from every essence of his being radiated onto you with such a heat you would have surely melted into pure love without his hands holding you. “Y/N, I know I’m the king of shit when it comes to expressing my emotions. But if there is one thing I want to be good at expressing, it's my love for you.” He professed with a passionate kiss to just under your jaw. “I want to make sure you know how enough you make me feel, how much life you have breathed into me.” He continued, his voice straight out of a confectionary. He reached up to kiss your forehead. “I can’t think of myself without thinking about you. I’ll save the self depreciation because I don’t want you to hit me.” He smirked and you huffed happily through your incoming tears. His kisses trailed to your cheeks, effectively curbing the salty stream. “I’m working on saying it more. You make me feel loved every moment of my life and I need you to feel that way too.” He stated with velvety purpose. This time his lips touched upon yours and you molded into his embrace as if you were two droplets of water from the nearby pond. “Levi…” You exhaled between kisses, too overcome with emotion to say anything other than his name. For his name was the source of your greatest happiness and you cradled it close to you always. He took the opportunity of your speech to slip his tongue between your parted lips. You moaned at the closeness as Levi gently pushed you back onto the blanket. “I love you, Y/N. Infinitely.” He whispered to affirm all he had confessed previously. His eyes held yours with such a desperate desire that you equally matched. “And I love you, Levi. Always.” You returned. Your wandering touch down his torso transferred thousands of unspoken professions of love into his being. When he pressed his body down to yours, you swam in his palpable admiration. Soon your pleasurable shrieks were spilling from your throat with the sporadic intensity of firecrackers. With every deep thrust, the fuse lit, exploded, and relit again, sending you into an endless loop of ecstasy. Levi’s next thrust hit you in just the right spot to spark electricity and you let out a passionate moan that echoed off the trees. You yelped and moved to cover your mouth, only Levi was quicker. Walls forbid a patrol heard you. He pinned your hands over your head as he continued to move against you. Removing his mouth from your neck, he regarded you with lustful intensity. His pupils were dilated and locked onto your blissfully contorted features with eyelids heavy with raw pleasure. His lips were swollen from endowing you with praise and it was enough to send a jolt of arousal coursing through your figure. “Don’t. I want to hear you. We’re far enough away that only I’ll hear your sounds.” He cooed just before a husky moan parted his lips as the roll of his hips grew more fluid. You obeyed his wish and blessed his ears with another erotic cry as his hands smoothly traced down your neck, over your breasts, down your sides, and came to squeeze at your hips. The grasp gave him more leverage and you felt yourself seeing stars when you bucked your hips to match his movements. “Levi I’m close-” “Fuck, Y/N. Me too-” Levi groaned, the pleading tone you used to speak his name sending him over the edge. As the wave of his orgasm crashed into him, he was so mesmerized in the way your back arched into his hips, the way your hands feverishly grasped at the fabric of the blanket, and the way your supple breasts bounced with every pump, that he almost forgot to pull out. What happened in the next moment, though, made that choice for him. A resounding thud at his side ceased his movements and he pulled out of you in alarm. You both whipped your head in the direction of the intrusion. Before you could even register what was going on, Puddle rammed Levi in the torso with his head and sent him stumbling backwards. “Levi!” You squeaked and scrambled to get between him and your raging horse. Holding your hands out in front of Puddle, you stood protectively over Levi who was still recovering from the sudden flight. “Hey, hey! I’m fine. See?” You gently called to him. He stamped his hooves a few times anxiously before falling under your calming aura. “I’m fine sweet boy.” You assured and reached out to take his head in your hands and stroke his nose. Hearing Levi curse under his breath behind you, you tried to contain your laughter at the absurdity of the situation. “Are you alright, Levi?” You asked with a guilty bite of your lip. He glared up at you and your puffed cheeks from stifling your amusement. He was only annoyed for a moment before the two of you cracked up in unison. He shook his head and got up. “Yeah. He just knocked me over.” Levi replied, his irritation washing away the moment he regarded your curves accentuated by the caress of the moon’s rays. Levi rose and moved to your side. When he got within proximity of his hand ghosting the curve of your lower back, Puddle pinned his ears and snorted. Levi jerked his hand back. “Oh fuck you, horse.” He spat and glared at the animal. You giggled once more and tethered Puddle to a tree next to Dandelion. A shiver raked your body at the loss of Levi’s vigorous body heat as you padded back over to your love nest. “You better be fucking me, captain.” You ordered with a viscous sweetness that slid right down Levi’s throat. You lied down on the blanket with your legs pressed together. You shimmied your hips in a sinful rotation that had Levi twitching with arousal at your forefront request. “It’s unfair you got to cum and I didn’t.” You pouted suggestively. “It is poor manners to leave anything unfinished. But I have another idea.” He purred. The ethereal view you had of your lover from this angle made you gasp. The puff of air that left your lips released all the boldness you had mere seconds ago into the atmosphere. Heat bloomed on your cheeks at the view that convinced you for a split second you had to have been in a painting. The indigo twilight bathed him in a pale argent aura that only elevated the silver shine of his eyes as they regarded you as if you were the only living being within these walls, within the world itself. He wore the light of the moon as a cloak that kissed his muscles and ivory skin. He was like a fallen star that had just tumbled into your lap. From your lap, Levi gingerly spread your legs. He spared one more cautious glance towards your horse before nipping at your plush thighs. Where he bit, he followed with an open mouthed kiss that felt like you were being touched by the wing of a butterfly. While his kisses were extraordinarily soft, his hands were not so. They pawed at the flesh of your upper thighs and journeyed to your ass to squeeze. The combination of pressures was driving you insane . “Levi-” You whined when his hot breath tickled the top of your core. He flicked his eyes up to meet your wonton expression. His charged gaze stayed cemented to you as he dipped down to languidly lick your wetness. When he tasted your sweetness, Levi let out a syrupy moan that vibrated against your clit and reignited the fireworks. Your thighs squeezed together in euphoria, locking his head in place. Your excited spasm delved his tongue into your slick opening and stole any coherent thought from you. He momentarily broke from his ministrations, rising from you with lips glossy with your juices. He licked them tantalizingly slow and you whimpered at the loss of contact. “Don’t worry, Y/N, because of our interruption we are just getting started.” He hummed in satisfaction before diving right back into your intoxicating taste.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Freckles↞♞♘↠Jean sucked up his scattered feelings upon seeing you sitting in one of the library’s plush armchairs. “Hey.” He called with feigned confidence as he rounded the corner of the last bookshelf before your resting place. He faltered a bit when his eyes met the ever stoic gaze of Levi. He was reclining in the chair opposite of you with a stack of documents in his lap. You looked up from your book in slight surprise. “Hey, I thought you left already.” Your statement was more of a perplexion as you regarded him gently. “Yeah-um.” Jean started and furrowed his brow. His eyes darted back over to Levi who had quietly resigned back to his paperwork. His gaze fell back to yours, a look of worry spreading on your face. He bit his lip to contain the fountain of baggage that threatened to spill. “Don’t worry about it-it’s fine.” He cleared his throat and nodded, trying to look convincingly forgettable. Your eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I’ll see you at the meeting later, Levi.” You said with a small smile in his direction. His head rose and he nodded once. “Alright.” He replied curtly. Jean observed the faint blush on your cheeks and the delicateness of the captain’s features as he looked at you. Your crush had blossomed full force and it was sweetly sickening to Jean to watch you flutter secretly under Levi’s actions. “I said it was nothing.” Jean grumbled as you slapped your book shut and came to his side. “Bullshit.” You chided as you walked side by side out of the library. Once you were out in the hall you backed him against the wall. You stood in his personal space bubble. The way he towered over you didn’t threaten you at all. It never had. “ Fine. I was wondering if you would come with me?” He asked, his voice shaking minutely as he tried to keep his weakness from seeping through the cracks of his pride. You tilted your head to the side in a fond grin. “Of course.” You replied sweetly. “Let me just drop my book off and change my shoes.” You said as you began walking again. Jean trailed behind you like a puppy, hands fidgeting behind his back accompanied by periodic sighs. “Are the others coming too?” You asked as you slipped on your everyday sandals after having discarded your reading material. Jean didn’t answer for a moment and only the clap of the soles of your shoes against the wooden floor met your ears. “No, I just wanted it to be the two of us. If that’s alright.” He confessed. When you stood up straight, the apprehension he had been feeling washed over you. You hummed in agreement. “Okay.” You smiled knowingly. You gave his arm a few warm strokes as you both headed into the hall. The walk through the village fields was lovely. The June sun was pleasant on your exposed skin and the lush flowers tickled your ankles along the stone path. The two of you stuck to the outskirts of the village until you reached a grove of trees that opened up into the eternal resting place for soldiers and villagers alike. Jean was on autopilot as he deftly led you through the rows of graves to reach your destination. The modest stone may have represented a life no longer present, but it was teeming with life. Little daisies had sprouted in the soil where you and Jean had planted them earlier that year. Rollie pollies skittered from their hiding places within the crevasses of the engraved cadet’s name when the two of you leaned down to be closer to him. “Hi Marco.” You greeted with the same warmth as the summer air. “Hey Marco.” Jean echoed with a melancholy tenderness to his tone. You watched with a pang in your heart as his hands began shaking around the muffin in his hold. Eventually he placed it down in front of the stone and reached in his pocket for his matchbook. His fingers quivered when he failed to strike fire into the wooden stick. After another unsuccessful attempt, you grasped his hands.“Let me.” You offered gently and he released his grip. You struck the match and lit the candle embedded in the plush top of the muffin. “Happy birthday.” Jean spoke, finally giving into his bubbling grief and letting his voice crack. “Happy birthday, Marco.” You said as your own voice began to falter. You scooched closer to Jean and embraced him from the side. Your arms wrapped around his shaking back. You were sure that if you hadn’t held him, he would have crumbled into particles as fine as the moss that grew along Marco’s grave. It had been many months but to Jean the loss didn’t sting any less. It only grew as the grass greened and the days lengthened. He kept his profound grief bottled up compactly in a bottle closed tightly with a wax seal. But if he didn’t rip that seal off soon, it would implode and pierce his organs with glass. “Y/N.” He called through choked sobs. You responded by rubbing a ginger hand along his back and shoulders. “I-” He hiccuped, taking the hand you began to wrap around his. “I loved him.” His wobbly confession was like Jean was standing on the precipice of a tidal wave. The reality of his feelings had always resided within him but felt cemented now that he had professed them to you and the earth. Every flutter he felt when Marco blessed him with his sheepish smile, every blush he hid when Marco went out of his way to help him out with the tiniest of tasks, every drop of happiness that boy had made Jean feel came crashing down on him and opened the floodgates he had so desperately tried to suppress. “I know.” You said. Tears began cascading down your cheeks at the broken heart that bubbled from Jean’s chest. Jean never cried in front of you, it was shocking but not unwelcomed. You had known he had harbored an affection for the deceased cadet for as long as Jean had probably accepted it himself. You observed their obliviously magnetic interactions, supported him silently, and waited patiently for him to tell you about it. No matter how late he decided he was ready to. “I really loved him.” He cried, reaching one hand out to run his fingers over Marco’s name with utter fragility. “I was a fucking coward and couldn’t tell him how much I loved him. And now I never can.” He wailed. “Shhh-Hey.” You released him for a brief moment to turn him towards you. You took his wet cheeks between your hands. “You’re not a coward. It takes immense courage to realize you love someone, no matter who they are.” You consoled. “I know he loved you too, Jean. So much.” You smiled sadly as you wiped the next wave of incoming tears from his face with your thumbs. “It was easy to see with the way his face lit up whenever you walked into the room, whenever you sat next to one another for meals, whenever you went into town together.”“You both made each other’s lives better even without voicing your true feelings. Because your feelings were woven into every action you showed one another. Just because he is gone doesn’t mean what you felt for one another is. That will always be with you.” You said.“Okay?” You affirmed and hiked the sleeve of your cardigan over your palm to rid his face of the salty sea as he sniffled. He held your comforting gaze for a moment before nodding and reaching out to hug you. You returned the gesture immediately, keeping him afloat as he swam through his grief. When you felt his shaking grow less intense you patted him on the back. “Lie down.” You instructed and brought him to rest his head on your lap. You ran your fingers through his hair as he stretched out his legs in the long grass. Jean played with the strap of your sandals absentmindedly as he gazed at Marco’s grave. You sat in peaceful silence for a while. “Jeanie?” You called to make sure he was listening. He hummed against your leg. “Do you wanna know the moment I knew you were into Marco?” You asked tentatively, hoping the story would brighten his mood. Jean nodded silently. “Remember when I accidentally walked into the boy’s shower room?” Your sentence caused you to giggle at the memory. “How could I forget.” He said, a bit less sniffly than before. You smiled in nostalgia as you played with a randomly curly lock of Jean’s honey tresses. “Well after you brought me out into the hall…and I stupidly turned back around, I saw you peeping at his package for longer than a guy normally would.” Your chuckle turned into a squeak when Jean pinched your leg. To your happiness he was smiling through reddened cheeks. “Maybe you really are a pervert.” He snickered, damp eyes shining with teasing. “I couldn’t help it, it was the literal heat of the moment.” You countered and poked his sides. He squirmed in your lap and let out a groan of annoyance. “Does that mean you saw mine?” Jean asked and pinned your arms at your side. “I’ve blocked that out of my memory.” You assured and wiggled your sides to free yourself from his grip. Another gentle silence encased the two of you. Your eyes fell to one of the daisies as it waved its petals delicately along with the rhythm of the wind. “Thank you, Y/N.” Jean suddenly said. His tone was laced with sincerity as you looked down to meet his gaze. “For peeping at Marco?” You cracked a half smile which made Jean huff in amusement. “No, dumbass. For coming here with me. For letting me get all of this out. And for listening.” He said with a sincerity that blanketed your chest in warmth. “I’m not good with emotional stuff, that’s always been more of a you thing.” “Anything for you, Jean.” You replied with a fond pat of his cheek. “I’m happy that you felt like you could express yourself with me.”Then, the breeze lovingly blew puffs of warm and fuzzy kisses against both of your skin. You swore you could hear a faint laugh framed by freckles.   Blizzard↞♞♘↠“Fucking shit .” The captain cursed as he whipped his hand back. Puddle’s ears were pinned starkly to the back of his neck as he refused to let Levi bring him into the lab. Your head whipped up at the commotion and you blanched. “I’m so sorry! I forgot to tell you he bites…” You cried and scurried over to the entrance. Your face was blasted with incoming snowflakes as you took the reins from Levi. “No kidding.” Levi mumbled in annoyance as he moved to make way for your horse. “Stop being an asshole to the captain.” You chided. Puddle’s ears immediately perked at your presence and he nuzzled you softly as you led him into the loading bay of Hange’s laboratory. It was definitely not a place fit for horses, but you couldn’t have left them out to freeze in the bitter cold. This was just one of the many inconveniences the sudden snow storm had just created. Your ears turned red to match your frost kissed cheeks as you realized your use of profanity. You really needed to stop swearing around your superiors. Your loose lips were one of the unfortunate side products of being raised by Oma. You tied Puddle to a nearby railing next to Levi’s horse.“Sorry to drag you into all of this, Levi.” You exhaled, face stinging from the brutal winter chill. You glanced around the familiar laboratory that suddenly felt so vast and cold. “Yeah well, neither of us knew it would get this shitty so quickly.” Levi commented. He grimaced at the pickled titan samples that were stored in the formaldehyde pods as he strolled to Hange’s office area. “Still, I appreciate that you tried to come here and warn me.” You thanked him with a small smile. “Thank Erwin. I had nothing else going on.” He said blandly and waved your gratuity off. That seemed like the closest thing to a ‘you’re welcome’ you were going to get. It was late into the night of Yule Eve. After partaking in some festivities with your friends, Erwin had called you to his office in need of assistance. Apparently one of the scouts observed a strange smoke emanating from Hange’s laboratory and since the scientist themselves was on a supply run in the city, the next point of contact was their pupil. You had spent all evening trying to fix the damn incubator, knowing that if you let it smoke out it would devastate Hange to lose their precious samples. Unbeknownst to you a winter storm had been brewing; an intense blizzard that threatened to lock all inhabitants of the area indoors. Erwin had dispatched Levi to come collect you before the impending weather came, however the storm arrived a bit ahead of predictions and turned a couple hour job into a snowy expedition. “How long do you think we’ll have to wait this out?” You asked apprehensively as you began to get back to work on your project. You heard Levi sigh as he plopped down at Hange’s desk. He reclined in their chair and propped his feet up on their workspace littered with journals.“I don’t know. Looks like we might be here for a while, though. So take your time with whatever you need to fix, I guess.” He hummed and settled himself comfortably into the leather chair. For a bit, you let the silence linger as you tinkered with the machine. Mechanic whirls and the sharp stabbing of snowflakes against the lab’s walls filled the lack of conversation. “Why does four eyes have so many body parts lying around?” Levi piped up with a disgusted tone. You looked at him over his shoulder to see him lazily glancing around the experimental area. “They like to dissect them to see how close their anatomy is to humans.” You answered with a chuckle. “It looks a little bit like its out of a horror story, right?” Levi hummed in agreement and met your eyes briefly. As you got to know him better, you realized the fear people harbored of him really was misplaced. Unless you were a titan, that is. You came to find he actually loved to talk, he would just let silence fill the space when he didn’t know what to talk about.  “And?”“...And?” You echoed unsure of his question. “Are they close to humans?” He pressed with a slight interest laced in his nonchalant tone. “Yeah, actually. Besides the absence of reproductive organs they are pretty much anatomically identical.” You explained as you flipped a couple switches unsuccessfully. “So the fact they can’t shit or reproduce is significant right?” Levi wondered aloud as he peeped at one of Hange’s journals. Your giggle caught him by surprise and he felt a flutter in his chest. “Yes, you could say that.” You agreed. The way he talked when he let himself crawl out of his shell never ceased to amuse you. “It’s weird to believe it's almost Yule.” You commented, changing the subject casually. Levi just hummed. Another icy silence filled the chamber as you made (hopefully) progress towards getting the incubator up and running again. One of the horses snorted and you were suddenly aware that you and the captain weren’t the only two living beings in the room. “So what’s your horse’s name?” You asked in curiosity. “Horse.” Levi’s reply was quick and curt. “Really?” You asked in disbelief and looked back at him. “It doesn’t have a name.” “It?” You narrowed your eyes. “She.” He corrected.“Why would I name it when I just use it for transportation?” Levi shrugged dismissively. You pursed your lips. “Because she’s just as alive and capable of feeling as you are, Captain.” You declared with a pointed glare. “Maybe even more.” You mumbled playfully and Levi’s brow furrowed, questioning if he heard you right. When he didn’t quip back, you decided to take matters into your own hands.“Dandelion.” “Huh?”“She looks like a Dandelion. So that’s her name now.” You grinned in satisfaction and got back to work. Levi regarded you in silent curiosity. The more time the two of you spent together, the more warm he felt by your sweet personality, quirks and all. Now every time he would regard the creature he would think of you and your dorky name for the animal. The faint chiming of the HQ’s clocktower through the snow’s assault signaled it was midnight. “Oh, a Yule miracle!” You called cheerily once the bells had ceased. The incubator hummed to life, the light and warmth from the engine buzzing brightly. You breathed a sigh of relief and placed your tools down. You got up and stretched your arms, turning to look at your companion. “And Happy Yule, Levi.” You grinned, the corners of your eyes crinkling.“Yeah, Happy Yule.” He nodded without much enthusiasm. “Do...you usually celebrate?” You asked after sensing his lack of excitement. “Not really, but my squad forces me to celebrate. At least the birthday part.” He explained and your eyes widened.“Yule is your birthday?” The innocence of your gasp made Levi want to smile. He nodded once more. “Oh my-Happy Birthday then!” You said excitedly. Levi was consistently amazed by the eagerness of those he knew and strangers alike to celebrate his birthday. He never got the hype. “Thanks.” He replied with a gentleness to his features. Your excitement towards him had melted away the ice that usually froze over his expressiveness. “When we get back tomorrow I’ll make you and your squad some Noel tea I received from home to celebrate!” You mused as you came to sit down at an empty chair on the other side of the desk. “I-if that is, you want to.” You added quickly, a faint blush creeping onto your cheeks after inviting yourself to something you weren’t even a part of. Oh, believe me, did Levi ever want to. “I want to.” He replied as the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa esperanto ~ A tulip whose flaming petals sprout from a lush green base, signaling growth and the washing away of lingering burdens. ↞↠↞↠↞↠ “Thank you both for waiting! I’m just about done.” Felicia chimed from the stove as Levi entered the house. The pleasant smell of fried bread and pork mingled with the freshness of the tulips to create a scent he could only describe as being homey. “We had no choice but to be occupied.” Oma grumbled from the dining room, one of the spaces Levi had yet to explore. He wandered into the kitchen after removing his shoes and observed Felicia’s bustling and extremely organized methodology. The pan bopped to the rhythm of her wrist while the kettle whistled in melodic time. “It’s a shame we didn’t have time for tea. We’ll do it after we eat, then.” Oma called, leaning on the doorway that connected the kitchen to the dining room. Levi nodded and clasped his hands behind his back as he awkwardly lingered on the sidelines of the culinary bustle. His languid gaze drifted to the many framed photos that hung on the only wall not covered with ornate gold trinkets or the weaving vines of plants. His eyebrows furrowed as he observed a common theme. So many of these photos of you were with that hard headed, horse-faced pain in the ass. From what you had told Levi, you had no memory of life without Jean. That he, Oma, and Felicia had been the only constant presences in your life since you were a child. Why did he feel a pang of jealousy? That was a petty emotion. Oma had placed delicate plaques at the bottom of each frame that accompanied the memory. Levi wouldn’t have pegged her as someone so sentimental.  First Day of Kindergarten 
“We’re going to be late, mommy!!” You wailed as your legs jittered like an excited shore bird. Jean stood beside you and rolled his eyes as your anticipation made your connected arms wiggle like a cooked noodle.

“Yes, yes I know. If I could just get this thing-okay, all set, smile big cuties!” Your mother’s gentle voice sang as she clicked the shutter. Jean immediately got over his minor annoyance and the two of you beamed at the camera.

“Mina, the school bell’s ringing.” Oma chided lightly at her daughter in law. 
 Levi adored how your wide grin looked too big to be contained by your tiny cheeks.  
Noel

“Jean are you even eating in the corps? You look like a twig when you need to be looking like a sturdy branch.” Oma chided as she shuttled more spaetzle onto Jean’s plate. Jean breathed a nervous laugh at her blunt comment.

“Well their food isn’t as good as yours is, Oma.” Jean replied as he gratefully took the plate. You shuffled past the two of them in the busy kitchen to pour yourself a glass of spiced wine.

“Get on my level, noodle-boy.” You teased, bringing your free arm up and flexing your defined muscles as the other held the ladle of wine. Jean threw an arm around your shoulder and squeezed, demonstrating that his noodle arms held more power than they let on.

Felicia had clicked the shutter just as laughter bloomed on your faces and your glass looked dangerously close to spilling over in festive happiness. 
 
Apple Picking

“Freyr, move a little over to the left.” Oma instructed her son. Freyr took a step sideways and bounced, causing you to fly upwards in glee from your resting place on his shoulders. You grasped the sides of his chin as you both grinned at the camera. Crows flew from the canopy of the lush apple orchard behind you. 
Levi drank in the features of your father as if he was studying a work of art. He was very tall, strongly built, and had a charisma about him that Levi wagered is why he was so popular in the capital. He resembled more of a lumberjack than a government official. His jawline was hard, like it was curvetted by a steel knife. But his eyes held a softness just like your own. When Levi’s eyes drifted to the last photo in the row, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He gulped as he let the contents of the picturesque scene sink in. The four individuals looked lively and ecstatic as they proudly showed off their record breaking salmon catch. Your father, Freyr, stood on the far right holding the fish’s head with a confident smirk. You, having to be around 10, stood next to him inwards. Your weak grip was feigning your support of the giant creature’s weight. To the far left your uncle Rall stood perched with the tail held to his chest as he wore a more modest smile than his brother-in-law. Levi felt his arteries clench around his throbbing heart when he gazed upon the girl only a few years older than you at your side. The sweetness of her expression poured icy flames onto Levi’s conscience. 
Petra and Y/N’s Catch
 Levi felt as if he were the fish in your hands; milky eyed and cold scaled. He was momentarily sent spiraling into his guilt. “Jean has grown quite handsome now hasn’t he...” Felicia chirped. Levi blinked at the proximity of her bubbly comment as it punched him from his daze. She appeared at his side with their shoulders centimeters from touching. “You’ve always liked younger men, haven't you?” Oma snickered as she rummaged through the cupboard. “Hey! I’m not that old Frau Vogel.” Felicia justified with a playful pout. She turned on her heels to grab the dishes from Oma’s hold but was gently slapped away by the determined old woman.“Yes but you’ve known the boy since he was fresh out of diapers.” Oma quipped back. “Now if you’re done viewing the art gallery of my life, we have dinner to eat.” The dining room seemed to glow amber. The walls were dressed with a deep cherry wood, carved with grand scenes of folklore that Levi wasn’t familiar with. The table and chairs were no less intricately carved and were birthed of that same rich wood. The table was fit for a family of high standing, its length providing the space to entertain many guests. Felicia had set the table so that the three of you were sitting close together, leaving a vast empty space for ghosts to join. Levi wondered what kinds of people used to sit there. He let his mind be tempted with that notion as he gradually checked out of the conversation. If she used to sit there. After their meal, Levi was left with that satisfactory warmth he felt the day before. He gave his shoulder a good stretch when Oma returned from clearing the dishes. “How about sitting down with an old woman for tea now?” She said with a small smile. “Sure.” Levi responded softly. Oma hummed and faded back into the kitchen.“Felicia went to go check on Y/N and insisted on doing housework.” Oma explained as she gathered the tea time materials. “So we have a bit of peace-and-quiet time.” She added as she placed two cups of beautiful ivory china on the tea tray next to the tin of Queen Mary leaves. Oma led the way to the living room which, to his fading surprise, was just as intricately decorated as the rest of the house. Arched windows that stretched from the floor to the ceiling displayed the forest to the back of the estate while a grand fireplace framed with pale brick lay in front of the opposite wall. Artwork, photos, and momentos painted all the walls to give it a cozy atmosphere that Levi was still getting used to. Oma placed the tea tray on the coffee table and sat down on one of the long, plush settees. She patted the cushion and Levi joined her, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. An arid silence passed by them as Oma delicately poured the tea into each cup. He was hyper aware now of his past choice during that expedition. Whether it was a mistake or not. He was painfully cognizant of his absence. Sure Levi was curt, at times off putting, and cautiously intense with people. But his immense guilt for what happened to his squad was an underlying and consistent fuel for his awkwardness around your grandmother. It remained attached to him like a fifth limb, a presence that was always lurking even at the smallest intensities. Your love helped, eventually filling the gaping hole that had been carved there. But a hole is still a hole, forever a crevasse that would be a permanent addition to his soul. He was deeply afraid to bring it up. Afraid of digging into old wounds, afraid of facing more of her family, afraid that your grandmother would deem him unfit to protect you. To call it an elephant in the room was a severe understatement. The unspoken truth was more the size of a beached whale. He had stopped seeing their ghosts in his own shadow. But even now seeing the familial resemblance of her in Oma he suddenly couldn’t bear to meet her eyes. “I don’t blame you, Levi.” She said as softly as the clank of the teapot returning to the tray. Levi’s insides seized but he maintained his composure. She leaned back into the cushions with a sigh. When she craned her head to meet his eyes, his gaze remained fixed on the lone tea cup on the tray. “For Petra.” Her name fell off Oma’s lips with a delicateness that made Levi’s throat itch with impending shame. “I saw you looking at her photo.” The itch expanded to an inflation that embedded his incoming breath into the folds of his esophagus. ↞♞♘↠Your body shivered in the remnants of your hysterical cries. You wished the sadness could have been swept up in the powerful current of your tears but it clung to you like a jagged rock resting just under the rippling water’s surface. Her absence felt like a vital organ had been forcibly taken from your body and the thief hadn’t bothered to stitch you up properly. “Levi-” You breathed, voice heavy with the aftermath of your latest breakdown. It felt like a tiring journey from the empty bedroom to his office. Earlier you had held each other, wept with one another, and began grieving together. But as the hours grew on Levi had drawn more reclusive. He had evicted himself from the bed in your fatigue and had resigned to his office chair. The form that occupied the space you almost didn't recognize. He sat deeply reclined in the chair and allowed the material to swallow him. His head dangled limply off his right shoulder, clouded eyes looking at nothing and everything at once. The only sign of vitality in this lifeless shell was the small puffs of air that left his nose. It was fresh. Painfully fresh. Like a band aid that had ripped off multiple layers of skin. But you needed him right now and you knew he needed you too. The sudden loss of Petra was boring into you. You couldn’t imagine that loss times three that he was experiencing. “Please we need to talk.” You whimpered as you slowly padded towards his crumpled stature. His swollen eyes and bloodshot whites betrayed his marbled features. He was hesitant to reach for you, to hold you, to touch you. He was sure a part of you must have despised him. Through his own pulsations of pain he could see your own distress. He desperately wanted to be there for you, to wipe away all that ailed you. But how could he do that when he couldn’t even wipe the pain from himself? Especially when he had a hand in inflicting such devastation onto you. He could never forgive himself for that. For what he did to any of you. Yet when you unfurled his limbs, climbed into his lap, and encircled yourself into his embrace he exhaled and held you right back. “Don’t hide from me.” You said with an insatiable quiver. You felt Levi’s arms loosen and begin to pull away as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. “Please...don’t.” You pleaded, desperate for his comfort. You quickly grabbed his wrists and placed them back along your spine. Levi breathed in frustration but didn’t move to withdraw himself again. “There’s nothing I can do to bring them back.” He stated with a hopeless gravel. “I know.” You replied weakly. Levi’s shoulder tingled with fresh tears. He squeezed his eyes shut in self disdain when he began to feel your shaking. “Why don't you hate me?” He hummed dryly as the obsessive images of his fallen squad drew more tears from him once more. Each time he thought he was done crying their lifeless bodies bombarded him with more waterworks. “Levi-” You cried as a sob raked your body. “How could you even stand to be around me?” Levi bitterly pushed out as he tasted the salty flow of droplets. “Shut up!” You coughed, sitting straight up in his lap to look him in the eyes. Your emotions were short circuiting and your patience was running thin for his blame but you hadn’t intended for your reply to come out so aggressive. Your hands pushed down on his chest as your eyes fluttered shut. You took a moment to take in a deep, albeit ragged, breath. When your eyes opened Levi was fixated on the floor. You grasped his head between your hands and rectified his deflated body. Your movement forced him to look at you, the two of you exchanging expressions beaten-down by sadness and frustration. Thinking of the words you were about to formulate spurred more pressure behind your eyes before you articulated them. What was left of Levi's composure fractured as he began to drown in your sorrowful orbs. You brushed his cheek to keep the both of you from floating away like paper lanterns. You could have lost each other out there today as well as your many comrades and the smoothness of his skin against your thumb kept you in this reality.This was not the time for conversation, you had already had that. Already had assured him that their passing wasn’t his fault. That, sure if he was there maybe things would have been different but that his actions didn’t dictate their deaths. Telling him again would only be beating a dead horse and cause you both more anguish. The two of you were too weak for that right now. “You trust me.” You uttered those words as a statement without a hint of question. Levi nodded instantly. The motion was anamatronic-esque as he struggled to stay afloat. “I’m here.” You stated softly, taking his hand and placing it directly over your overworked heart. A wave of calm washed over him as he watched his palm move with the deep rhythm of your breathing. “You’re here.” You continued with a sniffle. You placed your hand on his chest, sighing in comfort as he breathed life into your palm. “And if we focus on the what if’s we’re going to be hopeless forever.” You spoke the words with vulnerability that betrayed their prowess. That shattered him. You watched as his face scrunched with all the emotion he had hid this morning. His brow sloped into his quivering lip and he let out a helpless yelp. He was always trying to not feel. But he could only feign numbness until it embedded itself into everything he did. The void he was carrying now overflowed with singeing emotion that he needed to feel.  For them.For you.For himself.  Seeing him so broken caused you to crack too. But for Levi, the gruesome scenes that were replaying on a brutal loop were dulled by the warmth of your hand on his chest, the welcome pressure of your thighs against his, and perhaps the most by your beautiful eyes that despite being ravaged by tears were like a shining beacon in the turbulent storm. He removed your hand from his chest and took them into his own. He raised your hands to his lips and pressed salted kisses to them. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He croaked and intertwined his fingers with yours with such a force that his knuckles grew white. He begged for your forgiveness, bathed in your light to douse his sinful acts. For you must have been a saint to not have casted him out by now. He kept apologizing because there was nothing else he could do. He lamented that he wasn’t quick enough. That their last moments were spent in agony and terror. That their deaths not only affected him but you as well. Your limbs were entangled and foreheads were buried in shoulders for an uncountable amount of time. The two of you slowly dragged one another out of the suffocating mud of the expedition and into the present moment. When tears had dried and embraces grown less feverous, you spoke up.  “Erwin is allowing me to go home for a few days.” You announced with a sad smile. Levi hummed weakly as he ghosted his fingers along your scalp. “Do you want to come with me?” Your invite hung on the air as Levi contemplated. He felt bad denying you but there was no way he would be able to face your family right now. That may have been selfish of him, but he just couldn’t. He bit the inside of his cheek as you craned your neck to regard him. You understood his silence and nuzzled into his shoulder. “Okay.” You kissed at the spot where his neck met his collarbone. ↞♞♘↠“I’m sorry for your loss.” Was all that Levi could manage to say. He didn’t know how to make any apology enough for her grandchild’s absence. He felt disgust rise like bile in this throat all over again.Oma nodded at his condolences and hid her lingering sadness behind seasoned professionalism.“Thank you. I’m sorry to you too. You lost her just like the rest of us.” She responded with a mature kindness that made Levi want to poke his eyes out with self-loathing. If the loss hurt him beyond belief, he would never be able to know the extent of Oma’s pain, your pain, and Petra’s parents’ pain. “I can see that you blame yourself.” Oma inferred with a caring tone. Levi’s hardened gaze remained on the table. “I know what it’s like to lead a squadron. I know the helpless feeling of someone slipping through your fingers too quickly to catch them.” Oma consoled with a genuine seriousness that made Levi’s eyes flick up to hers. She sighed and placed her tea cup down. Levi didn’t move as she scooched closer to place a hand over his. His fingers twitched at the calloused pads of her withered hand encircled his. “It was one year into my promotion to a unit captain. I remember that day so vividly; the bitter smell of the canon smoke mixing with Hannes’ ripe gin, the way the wind gently rocked the trees just over wall Maria, the remnants of my throbbing hangover from the previous night’s excursions."“I had ordered my unit to scale along the wall and raise the new cannons that had been provided the day prior while I joined Pixis at the guard post. We were having our daily banter when a thunderous quaking assaulted our ears and gave us whiplash with how fast we turned towards the wall. A hoard of titans, many of them abnormals, were rushing towards Wall Maria.”“We had never experienced an attack so fierce, so alarmingly abrupt. My legs couldn’t carry me quickly enough to my unit before the fuckers started hurling themselves at the wall. The clash of skulls against the structure was deafening. Some of my soldiers decided to ascend, to fight them atop the wall and blast their brains out with the cannons. Others decided to take their chances at slashing their necks. However, the ladder couldn’t compete with the assault and soon their screams morphed into stains on stone.”“After the attack, I too bashed my skull with guilt and regret. If only I had just waited to assign them to that job. What if instead, I told them to take care of the already positioned cannons. But would it have really made any difference? I’ve come to realize I couldn’t have ever anticipated a horror like that.” Oma’s eyes glazed over in sour memory.“My point is, you can’t dwell on the what-ifs because that’s not how life went or ever will. You have to live with what life gives-and takes-from you.” Oma continued, holding Levi’s stare with one elderly compassion. “You led them and inspired them to take action. Their sacrifices were just that; sacrifices they were willing to take for something they believed in.” As she spoke, acute darts dripped in his squad’s long dried blood threatened to pierce the shield he had built up to their intrusions. But her kind words warded them off almost immediately and Levi felt more relieved than he could ever express to hear her sympathy. “I’m sure you know it never truly goes away. But forgiving yourself for something that was out of your control dulls the sharpness of that blade.” She smiled flatly with soft eyes. Listening to her story and feeling her presence sparked an understanding in Levi so deep that it felt foreign to him. It wasn’t the surface level sympathy usually set unto him by his comrades. Nor the solace and empathy you provided him. With Oma it was raw, unaltered. She had seemed to mine his soul and recover a luminous diamond out of the charcoal. She brewed this sensation within him that peeled away the murky veil of his role of a steely captain. Underneath resided a more youthful soldier who still had much to conquer and learn. He realized he wasn’t actually as aged as he was required to act. The hectic scenarios that had wracked his mind since he arrived at her doorstep were blown away with the gentle breath of her rapport. He squeezed her hand, instantly feeling her squeeze back. “Thank you. That...means a lot.” He said as the ice on his brow melted. Oma grinned at his instant brightness, clearly pleased that she had managed to crack through his shell. “What is it?” She asked with a wispy chuckle as she observed Levi’s minute crescent smile. “Y/N gave me similar advice after it happened.” He confessed, feeling lighter than he had in years. “Well, good. Means I raised her well.” Oma smirked fondly. She let go of his hand to uptake her tea cup once again. “I would never let anything happen to Y/N.” Levi professed as he finally grabbed his tea as well. His grip tightened on his cup as if holding it sturdily cemented his promise. Oma’s grin widened at his dedication as they locked eyes once more. “We are all responsible for ourselves, and all we can do for others is try our best to protect them. You have done just that, son.” She said after a hearty swig of her drink. “You’ve been so good to both my girls, whether you see it or not. That’s all I could ever dream of in a superior officer, a friend, and a partner.” Her heartwarming comment did exactly that to Levi. Except instead of blanketing him with a gentle heat it burned his chest all at once. The fire was so powerful that Levi couldn’t subdue the genuine smile that infiltrated his features. It widened his cheeks and parted his chapped lips in a beautiful display of appreciation. Oma’s eyes widened and she coughed as her sip of tea almost slid down the wrong pipe. “It’s a shame Y/N only gets to see those smiles.” Her wheeze was followed by a cackle. Her teasing made him roll his eyes but his smile didn’t diminish. “Don’t tell her or she’ll think I’ve gone soft.” He chuckled himself as rich as the umber liquid in his cup. Oma winked as she took another sip. “You know, I would have liked to have met you at Petra’s funeral but there wasn’t one. Her mother insisted on keeping things private.” Oma explained with a long exhale. Levi did recall you talking to him about that. Petra’s parents lived quite a distance away from you and Oma and became more private as the two of you grew up. Levi nodded and pursed his lips. He definitely wouldn’t have been in the right mental space for that. Oma noted his silence and as if afraid he was going to creep back into his iron guard, sighed in contentment. “I was so proud that she joined your squad.” She was basked in a lovely nostalgic glow as she mused. “She looked delicate and slight but Petra had a fire in her like I’ve never seen in anyone else.” “She did.” Levi agreed. His eyes fell to the fireplace as he traced his finger along the ivory rim of his cup. “She was one of the most skilled soldiers I’ve known.” Oma hummed in agreement. “Petra spoke so highly of you, you were truly her role model. She was ecstatic when you and Y/N got together. Couldn’t think of a better person for her little cousin.” Oma praised with the enthusiasm of a proud relative. Levi let out an awkward huff and shook his head lightly as he brought his cup to his lips. “You know she’s the reason Y/N wanted to join the corps?” ↞♞♘↠The sun hung low in the sky when Levi’s squad found themselves lazily lounging at one of the picnic tables that framed the sparring area.  “The cadets are going to arrive next week.” Gunther commented idly. “Yes! My younger cousin is going to be joining the 104th class.” Petra beamed, clearly proud of her relative. “Another cadet with your same beautiful genes? I can’t wait.” Oluo winked and Petra pursed her lips in unamusement. “Keep it in your pants, Oluo. Or are you hitting on girls you haven’t even met yet?” Eld chided with a smirk.“How do you feel about her joining, Petra?” Eld asked more seriously.   “While I’m a bit bittersweet about it, I couldn’t think of another person more capable to be a new recruit.” Petra smiled sadly yet her eyes held excitement at being reunited with her kin. “Hm, seems like the military runs in your family.” Levi commented, rolling his head against his shoulders to offer a loud crack.“Yeah, Oma hated it when I joined so I bet she despised it when Y/N decided to fly the nest too.” Petra giggled with the lightness of a sparrow taking flight. A boisterous boom followed by an aggressive order caused the party to direct their attention to the arena. “And so the hellscape is raised once again.” Gunther nodded to where Shadis was noisily instructing soldiers on where to place the cadet training equipment. “The stick that’s within his ass imbeds itself deeper each year.” Eld yawned and stretched.“I’ll be there to fight for her if he takes it too far.” Petra boasted in determination. Her declaration was fiery but her delicate features softened the promise. The special operations squad knew all too well, though, not to underestimate the strength that resided under that cute exterior. “Hazing is part of the cadet experience.” Gunther shrugged.“Need to get the nerves burning hot somehow.” Eld added.“Oh come on, you guys are horrible!” Petra huffed.  “I’ll make sure she’s well taken care of-” Oluo passionately interjected. “That’s not necessary.” Petra cut him off with a jab to the ribs. “You’ll back me up, right Levi?” She looked to their captain expectantly while Oluo's groans grew in pitch. Levi shrugged in indifference. However the way Petra’s eyes glinted with eagerness made him more inclined to agree. “If she’s not a brat.”Petra threw him a pout as the crew’s light-hearted jokes floated up to meet the chromatic tendrils of the evening sky.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Not So Indifferent↞♞♘↠"Levi. Why don't you ask her yourself?" Petra chuckled at her captain's unamused frown. Why was it that he didn't just ask her? A part of him was adamant to ask as all of your interactions thus far had all been on the spectrum of awkward. Plus, he had realized he hadn't been the most chivalrous man to you in your early days of training. 
Damn your perfect tea and perfect face-

…

Fuck. 
 “She’s your cousin.” He quipped back defensively. His nonchalant exterior was broken for a moment and it did not get unnoticed by Petra. She threw him a knowing smile. “Who happens to think you still aren't a fan of her.” Petra said as they glided through the hallway. “I drank tea with her though.” Levi replied in slight confusion. Shouldn’t that mean that there was no bad-blood between them? Petra laughed at his reasoning. "One cup of tea with someone doesn’t wipe away yelling at them, pushing them extra hard in training, nor acting cold." She pointed out with a fond shake of her head. "You've been hard on her just as you are on all the other cadets." “I’m a captain.” He stated as if that was an excuse for his rocky behavior. “Yes, and while you are most effective in discipline you’re less specialized--and I say this respectfully sir--in pleasantries.” She declared with a scrunch of her nose. Levi narrowed his eyes at her assessment. She wasn’t wrong. Though he had no problem with how he treated the cadets he did have a problem figuring out how to break the ice with you. In a way, your connection to Petra made him feel a bit obligated to rectify his actions regarding you. Although you had told him how to make that tea, no matter how many times he had tried, he couldn't get it quite as flavorful as you had. 
All for the tea.
....
Fuck.
 Petra sensed his inner confliction and halted their journey through the corridors. She stood in front of her captain and sighed.“But lucky for you my little cousin is a sweet girl. If you are nice to her, she will probably forgive you for being standoffish to her--within reason.” ~Why was this making him feel weird , why was the thought of confronting you poking his entire body with pins and needles? He told himself over and over and over it was for the tea. To establish better relations with a relative of one of his squad members. But he was clowning himself majorly to try to suppress his blossoming intrigue and desire for your company. As he approached Hange’s lab, the sound of laughter mingled with the clanking of chains. Levi twisted the doorknob with a moment’s hesitation before barging into your workspace. You were balancing a recently unloaded tranquilizer gun on your shoulder as you smiled at the mess Hange was making with taking a sample of one of Bean’s teeth. Levi stood at the entrance of the titan viewing chamber unnoticed until Hange got up from their knees and spotted him.“Oh, Levi-what’s up?” They called, saliva dripping down their arm. That same arm held powerful pliers that encircled the prized trophy of the giant molar. Levi swallowed in disgust. When his eyes darted to you, you immediately averted your gaze and fiddled with the strap of the firearm. “Let me borrow Y/N for a moment.” His command was as chilled as normal but he tried to seem more inviting than usual. By the alarmed look on your face he gathered he had failed. “Fine, fine. Just don’t kidnap her because she just got here.” Hange waved him off with a flick of the toothed arm and moved over to their work station. You propped up the gun on Bean’s cage and wiped your hands along your trousers. You inhaled deeply as if you were about to be face to face with a formidable foe.“Yes, sir.” You said with plastered obedience. Your eyes only met for the split second it took to salute. A splash of saliva that had flown onto you now sprayed the captain with your movement. You gulped at his obvious irritation. Something inside you was thankful to jab back at his previous crudeness to you. But your fear of being punished was overriding that momentary satisfaction. "Teach me how you make Fox Chaser tea." He asked with a simple directness that made you do a double take. You wondered if you were dreaming...Levi actually initiating conversation. There was no malice laced in his words, nor was there any displeasure in his statuesque features. “That is, if four eyes ever lets you leave her clutches.” He picked up on the stiffening of your body and softened the offer with an ultimatum if you truly didn’t wish to. “I can do that, sir.” You replied with a curious little smile. Did this mean you were in the clear? That you were no longer on the hit-list of the captain? Little did you know you were never on that list to begin with.  Intimidation↞♞♘↠Jean knew what he had to do. He didn’t care if it was stupid, traditional, or awkward. This was Y/N we were talking about. He waited for a day when he was feeling extra cocky and bubbled with a confidence that overrode the lingering nervousness. “Captain Levi.” He called as he approached the man in question from across the stable walkway. His voice resonated with an ego that irritated Levi. Jean inhaled and straightened up to make sure his full height advantage was displayed. He placed all of his focus into portraying a stern façade. As stern as a kitten could look next to a tiger. “What is it Kirstein?” Levi drawled without a hint of welcoming in his voice. “You know that I’ve known Y/N since we were kids. She’s my closest friend-” Jean began, feeling more and more pumped as he looked down almost chest to chest with the smaller man. “Scratch that-she’s like my sister.” He corrected his previous statement. Levi raised his eyebrows and wondered why the hell he was professing this to him. “I swore I would always look out for her. Now that you're together if you ever do anything to hurt her-” Jean warned with a brotherly guard. Levi blinked. “Are you threatening me, Jean?” Levi challenged with a fire that slapped the younger man's blazing nerve right off its tracks. The captain’s eyes narrowed and he suddenly seemed leagues larger than his lanky companion. The way Levi used his first name in his searing offense deflated his vigor instantly. “Uh, no sir. I’m just saying-” He sputtered and began stepping backwards to the stable wall when Levi advanced. Shit shit shit what had he gotten himself into? “You think I would lay a fucking hand on her? Or willingly put her in any situation that would cause her the slightest bit of harm?” Levi seethed, his eyes steely pitchforks swimming in his ignited intensity. Jean felt his back hit the wood of the stable wall and he gulped. While Levi was offended by his brazen stupidity, he understood where he was coming from. He too once had those in his life that felt like his siblings. Connected by a common will to survive rather than by blood. So he did everything he could not to knee the boy in the dick. “20 laps for being a fucking idiot.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa greigii ~ A tulip whose ivory and scarlet petals offer two sides of the same coin; suffering and painlessness. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Wind. The rough tug of the wind against you helped quell the dizziness of the void. It wasn’t that you couldn’t see, it was just that there was nothing to see. Salt. It’s overwhelming tanginess flooded your being so forcefully that it managed to stop your tireless spinning. Flora. Their delicate petals rubbed against you and encircled you in their sweetly fresh nectar. Alcohol.Its singe bloomed a forest fire within you as pricks of needle-like bonfires kissed away your gaps and left you feeling pieced together. Then the darkness dipped away like the raising of an ethereal curtain and a forest devoid of human imperfection stretched before you. You walked, and walked, and walked. The moss gave the pads of your feet wet kisses and squelched between your bare toes. You weren’t aware of your circumstances, of how you arrived in this piece of tranquility, of how long you had tread through these singing trees. Only did you realize the weight of your journey when a focused pressure began building along your stitched edges. It manifested greater and greater with every soft step until it intensified to a level you felt like you were going to implode. The invisible jaws threatened to puncture your rebuilt skin and began dragging you to the welcoming earth. Framed by intricate lattices of evergreen branches was the entrance to a clearing just ahead. You fought your impending fall, knees buckling closer and closer to the forest floor with every labored step. The moment your toe touched the plush grass of the overgrown clearing the phantom pain released its grip and was instantly was washed away by the sunbeams that were no longer filtered by the canopy. Beautiful wildflowers of lavender and periwinkle danced around the imprints you left in the dewy grass as you entered the safe space. Instead of tears, specs of starlight welled at the corner of your eyes as you gazed unto the form resting lazily in the field. Marco released himself from his daydream and turned his head to regard you. His smile seemed to order more rays of sunshine to plummet themselves into the clearing. “M-Marco?” You said with caution. You were startled at your formation of words for it felt like you were speaking for the first time in this realm of loving silence. His grin widened at your recognition and he nodded excitedly. He glowed with an iridescent vitality that you weren’t sure radiated from him or from the intense sunlight. When he rose from his resting place, you noted the candle that resided in his shirt pocket. Stray muffin crumbs were stubbornly stuck to the wax. He held out a gleaming hand to you and you took it without hesitation. His fingers wrapped around yours with a pleasant warmth and led you out of the clearing. You immediately felt the assault at your side return and Marco looked down at you with calm concern. He beckoned you further with a supportive arm hooked under your waist until your feet no longer felt dirt but sand. The velvety touch of the sand sucked the pain from your body once more. You wiggled your toes in it and relished in the lovely heat it brought to you. Marco released your hand and smiled at you once more. When you stared blankly at him he chuckled with the absence of sound. Marco nodded in the direction away from the forest and crinkled his eyes before turning around to walk back to the clearing. “Marco wait!” You called. He halted his light steps and turned to face you. “Jean-” You began and your fallen comrade shook his head. His smile endured though, in fact, it blossomed into a sweet laugh. He nodded once and patted his chest over where his heart used to beat. He took the candle from his pocket and brought it to his lips in a gentle kiss. Then, he turned and faded into the foliage. When you spun to face away from the greenery, the sight before you stole your breath and replaced it with the salty spray of the largest pond you had ever laid eyes on. It was so vast that you were unable to see the other side of it. Rippling waves adorned with white froth caressed the shore and the sun shed constellations of light along its surface. As you trotted closer along the beach two figures aparated along the shoreline. They were sitting side by side, fishing lines lapping at the water as they smiled at one another lost in unspoken words and familiarity. “Opa...Petra?” You questioned with a voice as quivering as an earthquake. The two turned their heads to the side to regard you with pure affection. You fell to your knees between them and hugged them to you. You felt the energy of the mini galaxies within them flowing into you. Your grandfather rubbed your arm while Petra smoothed the hair away from your cosmic-coated cheeks. “I don’t understand what’s going on.” You choked back a sob as Petra held your face. Opa placed his calloused hand on yours to get your attention. He pointed to a structure that stood taller than any of the pines you had wandered through earlier. The building stretched its ivory stones up to cradle a grand light that watched over the edge of the great pond. “I have to go there?” You asked and he affirmed with a squeeze of his hand. You looked from your loved ones who shined of opal and sea glass and then back to the structure. “Can you come with me?” You pleaded. They both shook their heads. No sign of pain, fear, or terror were etched into their beautiful features. Petra helped you rise to your feet and dusted off your knees. As soon as her touch was absent from your skin it began to torch. You winced at the returning pain and began trodding over to the tower. “I love you!” You called to them. They simply smiled and placed their hands over their hearts.You raced against the bite, the incisors a ghost at your heels as you glided through the sand. The moment your hand gripped the iron railing the snaps of sharpened teeth crawled into the incoming tide. You ascended the steps along the outside of the building. The metal sent coarse jolts of feeling through the soles of your feet. The temperature grew tepid and the wind more gracious as you reached the wooden door just below the magnificent light. When you unlocked the door and pushed it inward, the creaking of the hinges revealed a figure standing with their back to you. He was framed by the afterglow of the lamplight and you already knew the identity of this luminous silhouette before he turned to face you.“Father.” You exhaled and threw yourself into his arms. The force of a flaring supernova pushed you into the encircled embrace of a father who left this world too young. Freyr stroked the milky ways of your hair as you relished in the childhood comfort of the strong arms you had yearned to be in again. He pulled away slightly to look at you. His well worked hands came to stroke your cheeks as his grin brought his dimples out of dormancy. His eyes were soft with love but his smile was bright with pride. He placed a hand on your head and gestured upwards.“Yeah...I got pretty tall.” You sniffled through the fallen stars. Freyr sent them cascading back into space with a brush of his thumb. You swam in his eyes, your eyes. A trait that kept him with you always. They were filled with millions of words that he couldn’t tell you yet. You had a feeling that if you wanted to hear them you would have to climb to the lustrous lamp chamber. Freyr regarded you with a knowing intuition. He gestured to his side with sympathetic eyes. “It hurts, Dad.” You nodded, whimpering as you blinked through the stardust. Your father took your hands in his. He gestured to the hatch that led to the top of the tower. To where the light seeped through the cracks of the floor above. Freyr’s smile grew bittersweet as a sadness crept into the swirl of his irises. He pointed to your aching side and shook his head. 
No pain. 
You regarded the light through the ceiling. It was passive, neither beckoning nor denying you. It just existed.  “Am-am I dying ?” Your words trembled just as you did. You felt your heart pound with the first spark of fear you had felt in this realm. Freyr leaned down to hold your gaze and keep you from crumbling. He neither confirmed nor denied it. He only continued to ground you with your hands in his. “Will I be with you?” You asked. Freyr nodded once but furrowed his brow as if displeased with that idea. His eyes fell upon you, and then back towards the forest. He pointed in the direction of the tree-line as your gaze followed his hand. “I can go back?” You asked breathily. He nodded.As you basked in the feeling of winter fireplaces, tumbling through tulips, and soft flannel cloth you realized you had a choice. You felt so lovely. So lovingly painless. But if ridding yourself of that suffering meant not being able to see them again, to leave your paintings unfinished, you wanted it. You wanted to walk through the flaming charcoals of your wounds and bathe in the pressure upon your injuries if it meant coming home to them once more. You needed to see Oma’s gracefully crinkled visage, hear her chide you for eating too little and working too much, feel her weathered hands as they hold yours while you gather your beautiful flowers. You needed to see Jean’s amber eyes; how they sparkled with the determination at each new discovery. Hear his annoyingly teasing remarks that you thought you would never miss. Feel how his arm fit so snugly around yours as you dragged him into town.And by the walls did you need to see Levi. You needed to see the beauty of his heart that was hidden in plain sight. Hear the chorus of radiance that blessed you when he endowed you with his rare laugh. Feel the balming passion of his palms as they worshiped your back with affirmations and promises of protection. Taste the feeling of home you had built in an invisible beacon that always brought you back to one another. “I can’t come yet.” You announced, the smallness of your statement betraying the firmness of your will. You grasped at Freyr's arms as if he would dissolve into photons. You needed to cherish his presence for just a little longer. Freyr untangled his hands from yours and let you into his chest where you buried your head into a universe of memories.A moment only lasts a moment, though, and soon Freyr was untangling you from himself. He paced his hands on your shoulders as you two exchanged silent affirmations of an infinite expanse of love. His lip quivered slightly, but behind his growing smile was utter adoration.  You felt your father’s lips press an airy kiss to your forehead and then you were back at the edge of the clearing. The echoes of the trees vibrated off the canopy with an eerily low hum. You closed your eyes, already feeling the familiar prickle of your wound, and breathed in the crisp air. A will to suffer, to love, to live surged through you and overpowered the daggers that dug into your body.You felt the tingle of the collar of your scout jacket, the clammy handle of your blades, the press of the cool metal of the ODM gear at your hip, the panting of your horse underneath your legs. Eyes wide open; you lept. You were assaulted by piercing screams as you propelled yourself from the saddle. You eluded massive mouths dripping with saliva and discarded limbs. Evaded fallen scouts impaled by the cedar and oak of their sacrifices. Dodged the pieces of castle that were crumpled so easily by those traitors as if they were paper. The sky cried tears of rock and flesh; a shower of carnage that stained the landscape with a crimson syrup. The blood of your comrades that rained up your lips and obscured your vision tasted of vile torment. It was fuel to the fire of your anguish to attack, to kill. Nape after nape, your blade fed on the viscous vitality that had taken hundreds of voices from the battlefield. Until one voice rose above all others. The moment Connie’s wail rocketed into your ears you changed trajectory with a swiftness that left you with whiplash. Through the crusted blood that dangled from your eyelashes you saw him positioned precariously on the side of a tree. Two titans were blocking his escape with arms spread wide and jaws clamping at the unsatisfying emptiness of the air. Your scream thrusted you at the closest titan. Your boots dug into the tresses of its greasy hair as you stabbed your blades through its thick neck. To make room for Connie you latched onto the calves of the second monster and dislocated the backs of its knees with one precise sweep. As it began falling, Connie dug his wires into its forehead. He jumped from its expressionless face to flip over to its back. He sailed across the expanse of its shoulder blades and left scarlet track marks that instantly brought it to the ground. The two of you regrouped on a nearby branch, chests heavy with adrenaline and the thick scent of decay. “Thanks Y/N.” Connie said through an absence of breath. You nodded, wincing at the cracks in your dry throat as you swallowed. You placed a hand on his shoulder.“Of course-” As you started to speak a heinous roar presided over the battlefield. The god-like battle between Reiner and Eren in their titan forms was heating up and raising a thunder upon the earth. Grotesque moans suddenly seeped out of the treeline behind you as other titans became attracted to the fanfare like moths to a blinding light. You slowly turned your head to view an abnormal. Its eyes were wide with subconscious hunger as it charged in your direction. “Connie, regroup with the others along the edge of the tree-line! Help them clear out the incoming titans and then move towards the interior to Reiner and Bertolt.” You instructed frantically, heart beating in time with the gargantuan footfalls of your attacker. Your hands unlatched the trigger on your flare and you pointed it skyward. Connie flinched as the colored smoke rose above the canopy and met your hardened stare. You took in the hurt and betrayal of your former comrades engraved deep in the crevasses of his face before shouting once more. “GO!” You yelled as you flew from the branch. The abnormal’s twisted grin seemed to widen as you flew head on into its view. Its hands grabbed at the air around you like an infant trying to catch a garden butterfly. You danced around its gangly appendages trying to make your way up to its sweet spot. However, just as you reached its naked back the force akin to a meteor embedding itself into a tree caused your target to stumble backwards. You pushed off of the abnormal’s shoulders to view the destruction and your eyes narrowed in violent resentment. Eren had pushed Reiner to the ground, thrown him with such a strength that he had tumbled into the edge of the forest and tore down all the trees in his path. Reiner seemed to have no disregard for your lives, so it was only fitting that you returned the sentiment. There he lay, yours for the slashing. And slashing you did. You launched off of the abnormal and sailed over Reiner’s recovering vessel. Though not any amount of unbottled anger nor precision could cut through his hardened armor. Then, like a fleeting breeze, the opportune moment presented itself. Time seemed to slow as you honed in on his nape, now exposed by his movements to regain his posture. A moment only lasts a moment, though. Blinded by a desire to avenge all that was lost and undo the lies spun by his contempt for all of the souls within the walls, you charged for his neck even as you saw his hand come to block you. You were foolish enough to think that you could have cut through the knuckles that came to intercept your slices. That, maybe, your blade magically could have slipped through his fingers. How wrong you were. As soon as steel touched bone, Reiner backhanded you into another dimension and right into the awaiting mouth of the abnormal. Sticky saliva seeped into your clothes and made the cloth cling to you like an uncomfortably hot glue. Panic began grinding down on your being. You looked downward; your legs were parted by teeth larger than your face, their blunt edges digging into the backs of your thighs. You looked to your sides; gummy cheek muscles pulsated with moist anticipation. And then you looked in front of you; Reiner’s form faded into the distance as he charged to counterattack Eren and the other scouts.It felt surreal as the reddened walls of the titan’s mouth began enclosing around you. Like this was just one of your nightmares and that you would wake up as soon as those jaws made your legs go numb. The stench of rotting flesh and the daze of the wind being knocked out of you almost made you fade into a trance as the world disappeared from visibility.  Almost . Stark reality washed over you as you felt the monster’s undulating tongue flick over your blade. You exhaled shakily as your left hand weakly squeezed the handle of your sword. That one remaining blade meant you still had a chance. With a groan, your right hand pressed off of the wet muscle. With the minuscule strength you had left you slid between the jagged edges of teeth and out of the reeking cavern. You were prepared to let yourself plummet to the ground when no such fate came. As you surrendered yourself to gravity, that searing storm that you held to your breast so intimate snuggled into your side. Only this time it was as if you were reliving the fresh wound all over again. The abnormal’s bite dug haphazardly into your side, squelching flesh and bone effortlessly. You croaked out a tormented cry that rang against deaf ears as the titan wove a morbid patchwork of agony into you. Your surroundings blew in and out of focus as hot breath filled the newly created holes in your body. Your fingers twitched for the mechanism on your ODM gear. You were overheating with terror and exhaustion when you finally flipped the trigger. Your wires jetted out of your organic prison and embedded themselves in the nearest pine. No amount of deep inhales or adrenaline could have prepared you for the most excruciating pain you had ever experienced. Your eyes squeezed shut as you yanked yourself to your wires. The horrific tearing of your skin sounded as raw and guttural as attempting to rip a piece of cloth in two. The hot breath on your exposed tissue was like a volcanic iron that Ymir herself had branded you with as you ripped yourself from its mouth. You snapped like a rubber band and scrambled limply to land with your feet against the trunk of the tree. You breathed raggedly, lolling your head upwards to view your assailant. It licked its lips, tasting your blood as it watched you with vacant eyes.  The eyes.  With a bellowing war cry you hurdled your blade at the creature’s eye. It released confused moan as it was instantly blinded, the whites blooming red. You aimed your wires at its cheeks, flying from the tree and landing on its face just as you started losing feeling in your left leg. You dragged yourself up its nose and yanked your blade from its resting place. With another aggravated scream you slid over its shoulder and jammed your weapon, albeit clumsily, into its nape. The titan flailed wildly as it perished; limbs curling inward and spasming. It jolted to its knees as the life left its contorting body. You rode it all way the down until its head bombarded into the ground, creating an aftershock of force that irritated your gaping wound. You screeched as you tumbled down its shoulder and collapsed into the grass. You twitched like a poisoned insect as you waited for the ivory flames to burn the rest of your body into ash. Your friends were too far away to see you or sense your peril as they buzzed around Reiner and Bertholdt like wasps defending their nest. You laid there, feeling the feeling leaving your limbs until all was quiet. Until the heavy footfalls of Reiner had disappeared into the horizon and the birds had returned to the forest canopy. It could have been minutes or hours. In your delirium time no longer was a fathomable concept. The only thing that was tangible was the emptiness of harboring a cavity that leaked a steady stream of lifeforce onto the ground. Did you help? Maybe just maybe for that moment you helped buy some time for Eren and the others.That’s all you could hope for as you coughed.

You coughed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Short and Sweet↞♞♘↠“Hey shorty have you finished signing off on these release forms?” Hange asked as they tapped into Levi’s office. Their question garnered crickets as he remained focused on his menial duties. “Shortyyyy~?” They sang with a spring in their step as they entered and shut the large door. Levi paid as much attention to them as he did a fly perched upon his windowsill. He flipped over the last document and signed it. “Captain short-stacks?” They prodded with an intricate skill at pressing his buttons. “Fuck off shitty glasses.” He finally piped up aridly, his exhale ruffling the corners of his papers. “I see you responded to the second one. I now endow you with this title-” Hange declared with a booming voice when a pen was thrown directly at their forehead. They barely caught it before impact and cackled at their childish antics. “Oh come on, Levi. It’s a cute nickname for such a cutie patootie captain~” They cooed in an insanely sweet voice that made Levi feel like he was overdosing on rotten corn syrup. “Coming from you, using me and cute in the same sentence is revolting. It would be a shame if I were to vomit on these documents.” He gagged  as he flicked his wrist which held the folder towards Hange. They gladly accepted it with a shit-eating grin. “Well that wouldn’t hurt anyone other than yourself would it, shortkins?” They countered playfully. With the swiftness of a veteran scout, Hange poked Levi in the head with his pen and dodged out of range of any punches he could have thrown. “Thanks Levi Shortyman, see you at breakfast!” They yelled over their shoulder as they skipped out of the room. Levi released his broiling irritation like a simmering kettle with a deep breath and attempted to rub the pet names out of his temple.  After a strenuous day of training the new batch of cadets that ran from the crack of dawn to a little over an hour ago, you found yourself in the kitchen babysitting a kettle of hot water. Leaning against the counter, you rested your head in your hands as the gentle humming of the stove sang you a lullaby. “There you are.” A low voice dragged you out of your temporary humid home. Turning your head, you lazily smiled at Levi and gave him a languid wave.“Tired?” He asked rhetorically as he approached. You nodded once and picked your head up out of your palms. “Who knew training 30 inexperienced teenagers would be this taxing.” You exhaled. He tutted his tongue and came to lean against the counter next to you, his lower back resting against the cool surface. He regarded you as what little vigor you had left drained out of your body and into the wiggling kettle. A part of him desired to uncross his arms, scoop up your deflated form, and let his shoulder support your sleeping head. Much to his frustration, not even your exchange of fresh confessions could not fully decimate his wall of, dare he admit, awkwardness.Physical indulgences and fleeting romances had been relatively untouched territory for Levi. His thoughts on intimacy were a tangled knot of grimy experiences soiled by the dirt of the underground. Opening himself up physically was already challenging enough, grappling with his love for you was even harder. Every touch to you was, to him, precious. He often felt himself overcalculating his moments. “Now you know how tiresome it was to train your group of brats.” The jest within his tone warmed his otherwise impassed features. “I guess everyone is a brat until they capture your heart, Levi.” You pouted slyly and gave his arm a weak poke. “No one has but you, idiot.” The casual nature of his tone even surprised him with how fluidly it slipped out of his mouth. The strangeness of dewdrops on a newly bloomed petal curdled between the two of you. Thankfully the shrill whistling of the kettle overpowered any bumbling reply you could have generated. “What kind are you making?” Levi cleared his throat as you doused the stove and moved the kettle off of the flame to cool. “A batch of chamomile for Hange and I. English breakfast for Erwin and Mike-they still need the caffeine tonight-and of course earl gray for you.” You struggled to suppress a yawn as you recited the flavors. Levi felt his bones soften to jelly at your thoughtfulness. “None of your special tea this evening.” He mused with disappointment in his tone. You admired the scrunch of his nose that you knew he was oblivious to. “Nah, I ran out a few nights ago.” You hummed as you began laying out five cups on the counter. “You didn’t grab the tea bags yet.” Levi stated. With a spry push-off, he strode over to one of the many cabinets that overhung the counter. You smiled in appreciation and turned back to the hot water. A clanking followed by a dull thump brought your attention back to him. The scene unfolding next to you caused you to inhale sharply and inflate your cheeks with your impending laughter. Tiptoes propelled him upward just short of firmly grasping the tea tins. Two out of the 3 tins had been acquired in the lower cabinets but the remaining one was perched on the highest one on the shelf. Levi bounced on his heels once in an attempt to stretch his spine longer but he gained only enough height to allow his fingers to brush the bottom of the wooden chamber. You silently observed him struggle with guilty amusement. In candid moments like these he was just so… adorable . When he stretched again, the hem of his crisply ironed shirt rode up and the downy smooth skin of his hip peeked out. His raven locks bounced with his body and just barely shielded his deeply furrowed brow. “Which one of those lanky ass trees put them up so high?” He grumbled under his breath.  You really tried to spare his dignity. You really did. But you couldn't keep away any longer as he wiggled upward. As you padded over to the little ball of anger you comically frowned deeply to continue to quell your impending giggle. Honestly you couldn't blame him for not being able to reach. That cabinet was placed so annoyingly high that even you were only barely able to grasp its contents. Levi immediately halted his movements when he noticed your presence at his side. His head swiveled sideways and met your gaze with a childish frustration.  Holy fuck don't laugh. Your gentle nudge pushed Levi to the side with a stiffness in his form. He eyed you as nabbed the tea tin in a single hop. “Shorty.” You teased with a fond smile that was devoid of anything but kitten-like affection. Leaning down, you pecked him on the lips just before your giggle broke free from its imprisonment. Then you snatched the tins and returned to your brewing station. Levi remained camped out on the other side of the kitchen. He felt a bubbling warmth swarm his cheeks as his mind replayed your honeyed voice saying the nickname he could care less for. But when you said it, so sweetly and lovely and snarky... walls he felt whipped. "Aww-why does she not get sass for calling you shorty?" Hange whined from the doorway. Their sudden appearance only fueled your laughter as you placed the tea leaves in their respective cups and began showering them in a hot bath. Levi scowled at the intruder and brought a hand to rub his jawline, masquerading his rosy cheeks from their pointed view. “Your fucking off time has not expired yet, Hange.” His warning was muffled as you handed your old squad leader their tea. Levi learned an important lesson that day: he didn't mind being teased if it was by you.  Honorifics↞♞♘↠“I’ll make sure he reads through these, Armin.” You smiled sweetly at the boy and he nodded with a grin of his own. Levi’s eyes flitted from you to Armin in a wordless manifestation of ~is that all~ from his desk. “Thank you, sir.” Armin saluted and politely slipped out of the door to Levi’s office. You sighed peacefully as silence fell between you two. “I’ll admit there tends to be interesting plans that come out of that coconut hair.” Levi commented and placed the papers aside. “Thank you for giving his ideas an extra look, Captain.” You said, masking your fledgling slyness with nonchalant innocence. Levi suddenly felt like he was being waterboarded when that single word left your lips. His eyes narrowed as you rounded the corner of his desk and idly began flipping through Armin's plans. "What did you just call me?" He pressed, feeling frozen as an alluring blend of bewilderment and desire swam through the ice of his surprise. “What do you mean, sir?" You responded with a shrug. Your thumb preoccupied itself with the smoothness of the paper while your mind indulged itself in your fantasized musings.  “That.” He emphasized his speech with a crispness of a seasoned officer. “I don’t know what you’re referring to, captain. Maybe you misheard me.” You continued with an added layer of heated sultriness. Levi's initial shock had dulled to a buzzing hum as the atmosphere between you switched from feigned innocence to dripping in lust. You hadn’t addressed him with honorifics since you had been promoted to a squad leader. The double entendre and impish aura had his head swirling with an exhilarating dizziness of lust and vigor. Levi bit the inside of his cheek as he watched you discreetly press your thighs together, trying to keep yourself from seeming just as needy as he was beginning to feel. And walls the way your eyelashes fluttered like a doe’s to the bashfulness of your posture was all so very- submissive. It excited Levi’s nerves and stirred his legs to twitch in anticipation of contact. “Then why don’t you come over here and repeat yourself so I can hear you clearly.” He pushed off the desk and swiveled in his chair to leave his lap exposed to you. You greeted his invitation with a smirk and painstakingly slowly made your way over to him. You grasped the arms of his chair and swung your legs over his, hovering over his lap for a moment to deprive him of his much desired contact. He almost let out a noise of frustration when you finally settled into him, smugly rocking your hips forward as you scooched into his chest. “Can you hear me now, sir?” You cooed at the shell of his ear and gently nibbled on the soft flesh of his earlobe. He exhaled as your mouth moved southward. Levi gulped. Your syrupy words and steamy breath began heating his insides from the nape of his neck. He felt himself twitch upward as your plush thighs once again rubbed against his straining erection. A wave of satisfaction rushed through you when you felt how hard he was already. He wasn’t always very vocal in his desires as a lover. But with each passing day you became more intimate with what made him tick and could instantly tell he was beginning to enjoy this power play. He had been powerless over many things in his life, and in the most primal yet nurturing way, the thought of lording over you with pleasure drove him wild. Levi felt like his body was screaming with this invigorating rush of arousal. It was a sensation you had given him countless times before. But the feeling of power that you were inflating into him blanketed him in a new rush of exhilaration that had butterflies flitting against his chest. Quickly catching onto your plan to tease him, he was not going to let you get away with it. He was your captain , after all. He suddenly clasped your hips with a force that made you whimper. He adjusted you so that your hot core was pressed intoxicatingly close to the taught muscles of his thigh. He regarded you, pupils dilated, as his hands forced you along the expanse of his thigh. Your hips instantly responded to his actions, rolling yourself against him as sparks began flying through you. “Hmm. Is this what you wanted your captain to do?” Levi hummed lowly, bouncing his leg upward as he ground your hips harder onto him. Your lips detached from his neck as your head fell to his shoulder, the sweet friction making it hard to focus on anything else. “I-dammit Levi I was the one who was supposed to seduce you.” You moaned breathily; a mixture of defeat and excitement as his movements further ignited your bundle of nerves. “I’d say you were pretty successful.” Levi praised, leaning in to capture your wanton lips with his own. The kiss deepened to match the fervedity that glued you to one another. The sinfulness of the way your body gave into his guidance and the lingering awareness that the two of you had forgotten to lock the damn office door only fueled his rough touches. “I still haven’t gotten an answer to my question, brat.” He reluctantly broke away, humming with a hungry gravel as he squeezed your ass with passionate intent.When you didn’t answer, Levi tightened his hold and rocked his hip so fluidly that you felt like you were caught in a current of bliss. Both of you were drowning in the heavy petting; you relishing in the pleasurable friction that his muscular thigh brought your clothed core and him feeling your wetness through his trousers as he brought you teetering over the edge with just a flick of his leg and a roll of his hips. Your plan had instantly backfired, and although you were the antithesis of complaining, it felt lewd to express your desires aloud. But by the way his eyes bore into yours, dripping with metallic lust and silently commanding you to tell him made you whimper and grind against him with even more desperation. “Tell me.” Levi huskily instructed, immediately halting his flow and keeping you agonizingly still. Your legs were softly shaking at the loss of contact, hands balling the fabric at his shoulders. Electric tendrils bounced freely in the space between you as you looked down at him, your chest heaving and panting. Wordlessly your hand reached for his. Your intertwined palms moved up your torso, brushed over your breasts, and stopped at your neck. Levi felt your rapid pulse point under his thumb and his own heartbeat became erratic. His eyes widened at your bold move. His grip lay loose, hesitant against the sensitive area. Hurting you, especially accidentally, was the last thing he wanted to do. As a child he saw how his mother was mistreated, cast aside and abused by hungry men. But the way your teeth toyed with your plush lips and your eagerness to retake your spot on his thigh caused blood to rush from his head down to his cock. You gave him a willing smirk. If you wanted him like this he would gladly give it to you. “Make me cum.” Your voice oozed with silken demand while your neck craned to expose the smooth flesh to his palm. And just like that, the electricity crackled. Levi slammed you back down onto him and guided you at a heavenly pace while his other hand applied pressure to your neck. He almost came himself as he watched you unfold on the precipice of your ecstasy; writhing in pleasure under his control and using him to chase your orgasm beneath his grip. You didn’t need to vocalize with words that you were close for Levi to know. The nectarous moans of his name and the erratic nature of your thrusts were sensory overload for him as he unbuttoned your pants. In exchange for slowing his pace a bit, he slipped his free hand into your underwear. He reveled in your high-pitched gasp when his coarse fingertips made contact with your clit. The combined warmth and pressure from Levi's hands on opposite ends of your body catapulted you into your orgasm as you rutted against his thigh. Your vocal cords vibrated in sensuous moans against his constraint.As you recovered from being perched on your high, he brushed his thumb lightly up your neck and let it rest along your cheek. He peered at you dazed in the afterglow of want and appreciation. Teasingly, he wiggled his fingers over your over-sensitive clit and chuckled in amusement when you squirmed in place. With a delicate sweep that would put a painter to shame, he drew his hand out of your pants. The velvety knot recoiled in your stomach when Levi brought his slick fingers to his lips and sighed in contentment. Oh you were so ready to wipe that beautiful smirk off of his face and reclaim what you rightfully started. Your arms drew along the expanse of his arms, sliding you down and out of his lap until your knees pressed onto the chilled wood floor. Levi’s eyes trailed yours as you slithered downward, argent orbs darkening when you palmed his straining crotch. You wasted no time in unbuttoning his pants and releasing his cock from its confines. His eagar member was glossy with precum, revealing just how much you had riled him up. Your tongue started at the base, licking a hot streak languidly up his shaft and swirling your strokes when you reached the tip. Levi released a heavy breath when your mouth took him fully. As your head bobbed along his length, not once did he drop his head back as the pleasure began to build. Through his panting, lip-toying, nostril flaring, and eventual groan of euphoria, the molten silver within his eyes occupied your gaze. You watched as his brow knitted and features contorted in rhapsody all while his commanding focus lay unwavered. The forge fire raging in them held your head to him and made you flush under their intensity as you swallowed and released him from your mouth. “I wish I had called you captain earlier.” You winked up at him, a blissful half smile forming on his features. “Be careful what you wish for.” He chuckled and leant you his hand to help you up off of the ground.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa gesneriana ~ Commonly called the Garden Tulip. A lovely flower with cherry red petals that is never seen cultivating by itself.
↞↠↞↠↞↠“Now that we’ve had our pity party, how about I act like a proper grandmother and show you some photos.” Oma smiled and rose to grab a weathered tin and a photo album from the bookshelf. Levi felt like the couch was engulfing his form with its soft cradle. When Oma turned around she was met with his body half eaten by the overly plush material; his shoulders hunched and tea propped up against his chest as his body reclined even further inward. He looked pleasantly comfortable and stiff at the same time.As she plopped the two memory vessels on the coffee table, Levi’s features hardened akin to the rusted box now in front of him. The foreign lettering connected in geometric shapes that he recognized but could not decipher. They left remembrance teetering on the tip of his tongue. “That’s my father’s cigar box.” Oma explained when she noted his fixation on the object. Levi heaved himself out of the couch’s embrace and propped his elbows on his knees, still fixated on the memento. “The writing on the side…” Levi let his sentence flit away on his breath as his brain delved deeper into the patterns. “Writing? What makes you think its writing?” Oma pursed her lips and picked up the weathered box to give it a closer examination. “Looks more like a decorative design.”  Oma shrugged and passed the box to Levi. It felt cold on his freshly tea-cup warmed palms. Flashbacks of loitering about the weathered guard posts, frosted cabins, and Utgard Castle drew back vivid images of the strange symbols. They sparked his curiosity enough to imprint within him, but he didn’t care enough to debate with the old woman. It would be a memory put on hold for another time. “I’ve seen something like it at one of the outposts on old crates of supplies and alcohol.” He stated, placing the box down in resignation. “Hmm.” Oma gave one final acknowledgement before popping the top open. She lifted the haphazardly stacked photos out of their resting place with a gentleness that cradled each precious paper. As she flipped through them, Levi felt like he was gaining memories of a childhood... a family ...that he never had. It was like observing someone’s entire life through a looking glass. These pictures were of Oma; of her and her husband, of her and their children, of her and you and Petra. Levi’s brow knitted when she came to a photo of a spry, young version of herself embracing a familiar face-only with a full head of lucious locks. “You and- Pixis ?” Levi said in exasperation and squinted at the photo as if that would make his shock dwindle. Oma couldn’t have been much older than you; her statue was slight but her physique was robust. Her hair cascaded from her bun and softly framed her face that smiled wryly at the camera. She was arm in arm with Pixis; his eyes crinkled with happiness and hair (comically) blowing in the wind. “Ah yes. Dot and I were both squad leaders and grew very close.” Oma sighed with a nostalgic glow. “That man truly had a way with his hands. The last time I saw him Ymir knows I couldn’t restrain myself-”Levi inhaled his tea so furiously that it seared his throat with the same passion Oma gave off for the garrison commander. She looked on in amusement as he collected himself and cleared the assault on his lungs. “You mean, you two-” Levi started, mentally wiping away the unwanted visual before it left a permanent stain in his cranium. “Oh yes. As casual and dedicated as friends but as steaming as this kettle.” Oma’s youthful vigor radiated extra brightly as she reminisced. “Why didn’t it work out?” Levi asked. “My husband snatched me away.” She winked and continued on her trip down memory lane. “Ah! Now that one of you is here…” Oma began excitedly as the next photo was unveiled. “You can tell me all about this one.” “You have this photo?” Levi’s voice was barely above a whisper as he relieved the corporeal memory. “Yup, she sent it to me for safe keepings. Said in her letter that she saw your face enough everyday that she didn’t need the photo right now.” Levi felt the familiar feeling of his heart expanding when he set his eyes on your elegant beauty. The photo in question was taken at the last Royal Gala after everyone had swapped their military uniforms for evening wear. He always secretly wished he had more excuses to see you in a gown such as that one; the smooth fabric billowed gracefully from your hips, accentuated your curves, and pushed upward the swell of your breasts that were cradled in a lining of lavish lace trim. It would be eternally alluring to him, partially from the lavish overstimulation of the elite banquet and because it was-well- you. He remembered the insatiable feeling of the stark and sudden transition of having absolutely nothing to his name, to being flushed with an abundance of everything in that moment. You were beaming, a brilliant smile outshining the flashy festival mask that you adorned. Levi...not so much. He gazed into the viewfinder with features hard but eyes delicate in a way that demonstrated he was putting up with your antics. The two of you were pressed into each other's sides as the decadent swirling of the wealthy framed your faces. 
If you squinted closely, and looked past the grainy texture and into the background, one would be able to observe Hange swinging an elite wildly in circles among the party-goers. 
↞♞♘↠“Why not?” You prodded, arms crossed in defiance at his rejection of your proposition. “I’m not going to wear some gaudy mask that most likely has the sweat stains of hundreds of people on it.” Levi stated with sharp disgust. His eyes nearly rolled out of his skull when you began childishly tugging on the sleeve of his dress shirt. “You don’t have to wear the mask! Although that would make it less fun…” You mumbled in a last ditch attempt, hoping he would take pity for you on this special occasion. “Great now that we’ve established it’s not fun, let’s go get another drink.” He replied, unfazed and unwavered. He began turning towards the outer end of the ballroom where waiters danced with shining trays instead of partners. “No!” You yelped, scampering as hurriedly as your heels would allow you to stand in front of him. Your chest was heaving in excitement for the extravagant evening (and by the walls was that bodice tight). Your heels increased your already apparent height difference and made your very... perky breasts at eye level with his gaze. Levi coughed to rebuild his crumbling composure. He kindly reminded himself he was at a government sponsored event and that no matter how desperately he desired to let his eyes wander this was not the time and place. “You said I look beautiful tonight, right?” You quipped with a pointed glare. “Of course.” His lack of hesitation in his answer made the alcohol content in your blood skyrocket as you became drunk on him even more than you already had. “Well if you would take 5 minutes to take this photo with me that’s 5 minutes until I’m willing to sneak out of here with you. Then you can see this beautiful gown on your chamber’s floor.” Your eyes sparkled with mischief akin to the iridescent pearls that were nestled into your ears. Levi’s brow quirked in intrigue and you were a deer caught in the sly beams of his eyes. “Fine.” ↞♞♘↠“What a wonderful gala that was. I usually despise such events but I gotta examine you in person for the first time, no matter how brief and laughable our encounter was. I got to see my girl in such a lovely gown, and I got to absolutely feel Dot-”“I don’t need a narrative.” Levi intercepted quickly with a sharp tinge of annoyance that sent Oma into a mess of snorts and laughter. That strange sensation washed over him once more. The pleasantly warm bubble that made him feel like he was home but standing on the outskirts of the precipice all at once. “That's why you left so early.” Levi trailed off as realization snapped him like a taut rubber band. While he was forced to blandly entertain the higher ups and delegates your grandmother was snogging a commander. “Oh hush, you’re an adult, stop acting like a teenage boy.” She playfully chided with a glint in her eye that made Levi take step closer to that tempting bubbling feeling. A gentle knock on the wood paneling caused Oma and Levi to raise their heads to meet Felicia’s gaze. “I’m going to head home now, Frau Vogel.” She said with a tired smile as she poked her head around the living room archway. “Damn, it really has gotten dark hasn’t it?” Oma mumbled as she took in the waning light. “My dear, it’s much too late to be walking back by yourself. You can stay in your old room.” Her response was a medley of chastising and fondness. “O-oh, no. I mean-how kind of you-but I don’t have a change of fresh clothes and these ones have bits of blood and schnitzel on them…” Felicia sighed with a whine. Oma was about to interject her dramatic behavior when Levi’s voice filled the space instead. “I’ll walk you home.” He offered, tone as smooth and calm as the golden liquid in his cup. He placed his cup on the saucer with a small clank and rose from the couch. Felicia bristled in bashful gratitude as he quietly padded over to the front door and began lacing his boots. Oma gave Felicia a wink and nestled further into the couch, letting the cushions cradle her old bones and the aroma of the tea lull her into relaxation. “The kitchen is clean, I folded all of the towels-” Felicia hurriedly explained when Levi held the door open for her. “Yes, yes, thank you. Now off you go, I’ll come fetch you tomorrow.” Oma shooed the jittery girl out of the house with a wave of her hand. “Oh, Felicia-” She interjected. The young woman poked her head back into the archway. “If I hear one peep out of you about not paying you for looking after Y/N this next week I will have to start cooking the schnitzel myself.”  Felicia gasped in betrayal as the fireflies that worshiped the porch flowers sent she and her companion off on their moonlit walk. The grit of shoes against the pebbled road took over the silence which Levi observed Felicia desperately wanted to fill. She seemed to feel pressure to speak, to offer something other than the emptiness of the countryside. Levi, on the other hand, was completely content with bathing in the blissful numbness of the cricket symphonies and the wind kisses of the path. “How does our village compare to where you’re from?” Felicia barely overpowered the whistling of the grass with her slight tone. Her question was an innocent one. One with good intent that Levi didn’t dare spoil given the past two days of anguish. “It’s...definitely more colorful.” He let the sweet air fill his tired lungs. He had seen a larger aurora of colors in these past 48 hours than he reckoned he had ever seen in his monochromatic existence. Going from the diluted underground to the emerald green seas and burnt brick of the walls didn’t leave much room for hue. “So you’re from an urban area then?” Felicia continued, enthused that Levi had picked up her conversation. “You could say that.” His reply was vague but left no room for further explanation. Truthfully, he felt as much from that festering tumor as a migratory bird feels for its winter home. It was where he was birthed, raised, existed . But he didn’t truly live until he rid his mouth of the dusted, stale air and crumbing ceilings of the underground. Felicia’s mouth hung open with an incoming response when a screech erupted in its place. Levi grunted as she jumped sideways right into him, colliding into his sore shoulder. He just barely caught her as he staggered backwards. She stumbled against his chest before he propped her back up straight by her underarms. “What the fuck just happened?” He asked with an irritation he couldn’t restrain. Felicia’s bodyweight had punctured his shoulder with sharp needles that disturbed the dull hum of his pain. “Oh walls, I’m so so SO sorry sir-I MEAN LEVI!” She babbled as she floundered to eject herself from his support so as to not burden him any more. “I-I, something moved in the bush right next to me!” Felicia’s tone wobbled just as her legs did. Levi followed her trembling gaze and prepared himself for a feral dog or a wild boar. If it was anything bigger than that, like a bear, they were absolutely fucked. The snort that erupted from the bush elicited another shrill scream from the maid. Levi’s muscles tensed in the realization that he would have to fend off the beast with his bare hands in his absence of weapons. He brought up a protective arm in front of Felicia when a pawing in the foliage neared the paved pathway. The thick anticipation mingled with the drumming of hearts was the soundtrack to the animal moving into the lamplight. Levi’s muscles instantly relaxed. All except his chest. It shook with candid chuckles that materialized as a small hum and blossomed into a full blown laughter. “Hello Big Shit.” Levi’s smile was radiant against the artificial lighting as Puddle aparated out of the bushes, his form now fully visible in the dim illumination. “He must have followed us.” “B-big shhhh?” Felicia stammered, eyes wide with embarrassment. She was too polite to finish the last word. Then he did it again. He laughed so freely it put the crickets to shame. Felicia pursed her lips awkwardly and smoothed her nervous hands along her apron. “He’s Y/N’s.” Levi cooed , reaching a delicate hand out to the horse and letting him press his plush nose to his knuckles. Felicia’s jaw went slack once more. She felt like she was regarding a completely separate individual she had previously been acquainted with. His cicada shell had been discarded on the path with the others and now only tenderness enveloped the man’s being. “He is quite terrifying.” Levi teased gently as Puddle extended his neck to nuzzle hot breaths into his cheek. Felicia flushed at her overreaction. Levi turned from the horse to her with a glow that made her swear he was a tranquil forest spirit rather than the man who was walking her home. At her shock he immediately reigned himself back in, clearing his throat and partially crawling back into his cicada skin. “If he’s followed us this far he’ll keep walking with us.” Levi said, the brief bloom of outward happiness coming to an end. After a few minutes of only the comets’ luminous words trickling through the sky and the occasional snort, Felicia spoke up. “It’s nice to see you happy.” She commented bashfully. “It’s not like I haven’t been happy before.” He huffed, unsure of where to place her heartfelt compliment among the ever turbidness of his mind. “I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just-I’ve never seen you smile before.” She cringed as she said it and Levi’s snort mimicked the horse behind them. He let her observation marinade under the moonlight. “Happiness shows itself in different ways.” He mused and the corners of her lips upturned smally at her silliness. “I just can’t imagine what you and Y/N have to go through.” She said with the careful articulation of a confession.“D-did you see it happen?” She asked apprehensively. The nightmare scape tore through his cornea and implanted itself as if he was seeing it vividly again. “No.” He exhaled. 
The mass of flesh reeked of steamed rotted meat in the background of your shuddering form blanketed in torn cloth and soaked in sticky blood. His feet were caught in a time loop, too slow to reach you but too fast to wrap his mind around the potential discovery of your demise. His knees burned against the fabric of his trousers as they slid on the viscous ground to you. Your eyes were open wide and even though they were looking right at him, they went right through him like he was transparent against the skyline. The titan and you shared a bed of grass but by the walls not a resting place. 
“But I saw the one that did it to her.” He continued as he blinked away the flash of mental scar tissue. “Her blade was lodged into its neck and it was bleeding profusely from its eye.” Felicia winced at his description. “She’s grown so strong.” Her whimper got lodged in her throat. Little lanterns perched on the exterior of modest cottages floated into existence on both sides of the road as they neared Felicia’s neighborhood. “How long have you known Y/N and Oma?” He asked to change the conversation for the sake of both their emotional turmoil. Felicia brightened up a bit at his term for her mistress. “Since I was very young.” She smiled the weight right off of Levi’s shoulders. “My parents worked for Oma and her husband. I became Y/N’s babysitter or sorts, and by default many times Jean’s too, then the housekeeper to make some money.” Levi recounted her reaction to the photo of Jean earlier and decided to attempt to lighten the mood like the wispy moss that dangled over their heads. “Jean is single.” He revealed and eyed her in muted amusement for her reaction. Felicia turned beet red, the statement adding an extra sheepish pop to her step. “O-oh, that’s hard for me to believe.” She laughed awkwardly. “Really?” Levi replied without a drop or sarcasm. He understood why you put up with the boy because you had been friends for so long. But he would forever wonder how mentally stable the person who would willingly date him was. Felicia gulped as his question hung out to try on the overarching maple branches. “W-well, I mean-he’s funny, considerate, determined-” “Determined to keep his long face up my asshole.” Levi finished her musings, dodging a moth as it flew too close to his nose. Felicia giggled at his half-assed insult. “Determination, no matter what the kind, is a handsome quality.” Levi hummed at her sincere answer. Her excitement over the boy rubbed warm circles into his chest. It reminded himself of his blooming feelings for you. “When was the last time you saw him?” He asked as Felicia led him down a left fork in the road. “Oh, a little less than a year ago? He and Y/N don’t get to come home a lot, you know.” Their conversation was concluded in the middle of the road when Felicia halted in front of a beige cottage. “This is me.” Her grin pushed up the apples of her cheeks and she cheesily pointed to the home. Levi nodded once and watched as she delicately climbed up the steps, deftly avoiding the garden rocks in the darkness until she reached her porch. “Thank you for walking me here. You’ll be okay finding your way back?” She affirmed as she turned her key into the lock. Levi nodded once more and she breathed out a timid laugh. “Alright, good night Levi.” She smiled sweetly. “Goodnight.” “Goodnight Big...um.” She turned to Puddle and wrinkled her nose. “Shit.” Levi finished with crinkled eyes. “Sh...shit.” She blurted and danced in place as if she had uttered a tremendous sin. Levi waited until she was halfway inside when she surprised him by returning to his presence. She paused, the light emanating from the open door allowing them to see each other clearly. She threw him a genuine smile that made him feel naked in the pale night. “You know, you fit in really well here.” Levi twirled the circlets of metallic promises between his fingers as he let the warmth of this evening’s reactions carry him home. Fuck, did he just think home ? In such a short amount of time, these gardens of tulips and those that harvest them had uprooted the numbness he had trained himself to harbor. He’d now gotten a sickeningly sweet taste of life and it was going to be hard for him to not grow addicted to it. The rings began to feel too heavy for him to carry and he placed them securely back in his pocket as he neared the estate.With Puddle contained for the moment, he tapped his dirtied boots against the doormat and stepped into the living room. His feet sank deep into the fertilizer as he looked upon Oma. She had fallen asleep curled into the sofa, her empty tea cup cuddled into her embrace and the photo album discarded on the adjacent cushion. He felt oddly like an intruder as he gingerly released the cup from her grasp. Felt the peculiar stab of domestic alienation when he draped the crocheted blanket over her. This was what home was supposed to resemble. Not a sullen room with a single bed and a mother called upon only to come home a wilted flower with her petals torn. Levi was knee deep in the garden soil now and he dove further and further into the dirt every passing day he spent here. He tiptoed up the creaky steps, shed your father’s clothes in exchange for more appropriate sleepwear, and gravitated to your room. The armchair screeched dully against the flooring as he brought it closer to your bed. And he allowed himself to dream of living for once instead of just existing. 
You fit in really well here.
Morning, well more like afternoon by the looks of it, arrived on the chaotic wings of angry sparrows and a pleasant plush heat on his back. Levi groaned as he felt his back scream at him for his hunched over position. He clutched the blanket to his body as he stretched out the kinks. He rubbed the fluffy material between his fingers as he groggily recalled that he definitely didn’t go to sleep with this. As he sat up a light fluttering fell to the ground from his shoulder. Looking to the floor he noticed a note. He bent down to retrieve it and held it close to his sandy eyes. 
I let you sleep in today because you need it-don’t deny it.

I’m off to get Felicia and we’re stopping by the apothecary on the way home but we shouldn’t be too long.

Here’s a blanket.

You don’t want your body to be as cold as your heart <3. 
 
Oma
 Levi rested his head on his blanket covered palm, nuzzling into the softness as he sighed in mild contentment. “I lied-I understand how the two of you are related.” Levi whispered lightly towards you, the sounds as airy as the birds tapping at the glass. It was another beautifully scenic day dressed in another of your father’s outfits babysitting another kettle of tea. Levi peeked out the kitchen window and wondered if everyday in this countryside was euphoric. But rather than basking in the lovely weather he opted to spend his very late morning tea with the one whose absence left this house just short of paradise. He was careful to not clank the tray around as he reentered your room and spread open the curtains. However, the moment his fingers pulled the fabric apart the little winged rats announced their presence rather aggressively.“Fuck off.” Levi threatened with a flick to the glass. His finger came back coated in dust."Felicia is a fucking disappointment of a cleaner." And so the first hour of his awakened day was spent sipping on temporary relief and gazing at the embodiment of comfort in your bed until his cup grew vacant. His chair creaked with age as he abandoned his post to refill his energy source. Time slowed as it did two days ago and it was a miracle he avoided burning his fingers. They froze on the hot kettle as he was electrocuted by a weak gasp. It was barely audible but deafening to his starved ears.“Lee-” A desperately familiar voice with the body of a crumb murmured. He whipped around to see his most treasured blend of colors open up into his being. Conscious. Looking at him. Actually at him. The china fell from his petrified fingers and hit the rug with a bounce.    “Le-vi”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Of Silk and ShenanigansThe events prior to waiting in line for the photo booth at the annual palace gala.↞↠↞↠↞↠ Erwin had the look.  The plastered smile.Finely pursed lips that just barely contained the infuriation of a man swept up in the inescapable throws of a conversation he did not wish to endure alone. A look that radiated discomfort over the potent luxury of the ballroom. A look that told you and your companion to get him out now.  You exhaled as you disconnected your eyes from his, focus now sweeping over his conversation partners. Commander Zachary spoke in between generous sips of his beverage. Erwin was stiffly and silently perched to his right, solely avoiding placing his pupils anywhere near his superior’s left side. For there resided Nile and Marie. Their arms were intertwined with a delicate professionalism.From what you had piece together from fleeting mentions and sleuthing for gossip; Erwin and Nile, who was the commander of the Military Police, had a long and complicated history as schoolboys pining over the same woman. That innocent woman who, among other factors, they allowed to splinter their long standing friendship. You silently sympathized with Erwin as your next intake of breath caused your constricting bodice to embrace your lungs a bit too roughly. Your arms were draped in soft ripples of lavender silk that fell from your exposed shoulders and cinched at your elbows. The bodice that breathed for you held your breasts in a firm cradle that rested upon the empire cut of your dress. The skirt flowed in rivers of elegance until the hem barely kissed the gold embossed flooring. Your ensemble was indeed beautiful, but insufferably so. “If you keep looking at him, it's going to encourage him to invite us over there you know.” Your date’s comment was as dry as your wine glass. You bit the inner corner of your lip in conviction but eventually nodded in agreement. The only stress you could tolerate tonight was the tightness of your dress. Levi leaned against one of the many behemoths of a pillar that guarded the edges of the chamber. His demeanor was as collected as ever; unequivocally unbothered. Yet his jittered fingers discretely fiddled with the cloudlike material of your gown. His tailcoat glided across his back in two sharpened slated swallowtails and hugged his chest with gilded trim and ivory buttons. Ivory buttons that paired almost identically to his jodhpurs and neatly placed cravat. Those jodhpurs that were tucked into boots that hugged his calves and were polished like obsidian. It was hard enough to see Levi out of anything but his scouting uniform or his everyday combo of a long sleeved button down and trousers. Both options were easy on the eyes but tonight he had looked ravishing. He was always clean, but cleaned up -so to say-he was absolutely divine. You would never tell him this but his fox like beauty paired with the fancy dress endowed him with the grace of a prince. “I feel kind of bad, though. Look who he’s with.” Your response was laced with minor guilt. Erwin now looked as if he was teetering closer to the edge of a gully with every beautiful laugh Nile garnered from his wife. “He can handle it, he’s a big boy.” Levi said with a shrug. “Not our paleolithic love triangle, not our problem.” “And why is Oma so damn hard to find.” You grumbled. You had not been successful in locating your grandmother after the ceremony. “She’s smart if she’s not here.” Levi sighed.You noted from your idle observation the absence of a certain garrison leader. Pixis must have had the same idea as you and Levi; skedaddle out of the conversation and lurk among the bustle of the citadel to avoid that train wreck of love triangles. You were certain that if you could track down him, you could instantly find Oma…“Ah, perhaps you could pose such a question to my second in command.” Erwin’s voice chimed like a crisp bell within the close vicinity of your ears. It made you bristle as his troupe approached. Well.Erwin hadn’t called out to you specifically.“Good luck, darling! I’m going to find Oma.” You chirped in urgency. You gave his shoulder two quick pats and dodged his outreached hand just in time for it to catch the air instead of your elbow. Floating onto the dancefloor, you avoided looking back at all costs in fear of the frigid betray you would witness. He would complain heavily about it later, but you were thankful that you didn’t have to deal with that awkward reunion. Your heels clopped against the impeccably cleaned steps to the second level until you reached a descending waiter with a gleaming tray of champagne ripe for the picking. You swiped your who knows what glass of amber sedation, sighing as it buzzed not only your throat but your mind as well. Your lips were pressed in preparation for your next sip when you spotted a welcome bald head. He donned a suit in similar fashion to Levi’s, although his tailcoat was a rich royal blue. You nudged his ankle with your heel and he turned around with a hmm?  “Ah Y/N. Lovely to see you not hiding under a layer of mud. It’s been-what-20 years overdue?” Pixis’ smile creased the corners of his eyes and made them sparkle like the wine he held to his chest as if it was his dance partner. “You act as if I was raised by wild dogs.” You scoffed, but hugged him with the embrace of an old family friend. “Well not far from it.” He winked. You chuckled at his playfulness. “Speaking of, have you seen Oma?” You asked, voice wandering off with your gaze as you scanned the languid nature of the second floor. “Not since the ceremony. She seems like she’s stowed herself away from-” He gestured uninterestedly with his hand to the domed pocket of Shangri La surrounding them. “All of this unnecessary socializing. Walk with me and we shall look for her.” You nodded once and took Pixis’ extended arm when he offered it to you. “What have you been up to?” You asked as you began weaving through lounging loyalists; their only worldly concerns born of apricots and pearls. For many of them, you guessed, if you took the time to skin the peel, the nectarous fruit that resided underneath would be spoiled rotten. “Contemplating whether I wanted to waste my time between the lovesick lovebirds or drink myself into oblivion. The second option is much more preferable.” Pixis exhaled, his eyes blandly bopping from noble to noble.“I hope your evening has been enjoyable. I know we all harp on these sorts of events, but I’ll admit it's the people that are poisoned more than the lifestyle.” The commander mused, bowing his head in acknowledgement of one of his subordinates. “It has. It’s lovely to see everyone out of uniform to take a night off for themselves. Reminds me a lot of childhood.” Your answer was dressed with sweet honey. Pixis was absolutely right; you could get used to palace gardens, catered meals, and the golden railing that was cool to the touch under your grazing palm. But the sugar coated nostalgia wasn’t quite sweet enough to drown out the sourness of the partygoers that ruffled their feathers like mockingbirds in utter ignorance and disconcert for the world outside their little paradise. “Yes, well, at least this time you don’t have to worry about planting flowers.” Pixis hummed and promptly downed what was left of his drink. He shoved it into the closest waiter’s chest with the deftness of a seasoned warrior. The two of you rounded the corner of the overhang with your backs to a vast hallway, one of many networks to the rest of the palace. Without warning the raspy voice of the one you had been searching for chirped in your ear.“Who are you and what have you done with my little girl?” Oma roughly hugged you from behind, offering an undignified grunt out of you as you broke away from Pixis. She left her arm around your waist as she came to reside next to you. “Oma, were you hiding in that hallway?” You accused, but your broad grin betrayed any hint of annoyance. Your eyes flicked from the small woman to the arches of the dimly lit tunnel.“Of course I was. Do you really think I would rather be putting up with these pansies than sitting by myself in an empty guest room?” She chided as if she was offended that you had thought her to be anywhere else but where she had been. “But none of that matters. You look absolutely stunning , Y/N.” She beamed as she took your hands in hers. Her cloudy blue eyes were as soft as a summer’s sky as she regarded you. You blushed at her sudden and public fawning. “I should be saying that about you Oma. You look beautiful.” You complimented, exuding the same warmth she had bestowed upon you. You hadn’t seen Oma in formal attire since your last gala over six years ago. Her gown was threaded of a deep sapphire and encircled by a sheer shawl of the same hue. Her silver locks that were usually confined to a long braid were intricately woven into a plaited bun just above the base of her scalp. Her hands were adorned with elbow length gloves, their soft ripples the same as fresh cream. To one who didn’t know her fiery personality, the calming ocean of her dress gave off the impression of peak poised femininity. “I know.” Oma said, then turned her attention to your escort. “Well hello Dot. I was disappointed earlier that we didn’t have a chance to speak before the ceremony. But now I’m happy I waited.” She purred, the alluring flames within her eyes singeing the blue right out of her being. Pixis’ moustache ruffled under her intensity. “I can say the same for you, Elena.” The commander returned, feeding her fire with one of his own. They basked in the overheating sauna their gazes cultivated and drank in one another in the absence of alcohol in their palms. “You know, now that I think about it, that guest room was pretty lonely. Would be such a shame to have all that space to myself.” Oma’s tone sizzled with seductive undertones that made you get burned by the immensity of your abrupt transformation into a third wheel. The uncoordinated colors of their outfits even matched for Ymir’s sake. “Would you two like some alone time?” You chuckled, smiling as you watched the passion ignite. It was sweet seeing how much Pixis brought out her youthful vigor and vice versa. “Nonsense! There’s plenty of time for that later, right Dot?” Oma proclaimed, seamlessly transitioning back to her peppy self. Pixis cleared his throat and nodded. “Indeed. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Pixis’ smile transformed the fire to a lovely warm hearth. “I hope you continue to enjoy your evening, Y/N.” Oma followed her lover with her eyes until he faded into the cushions of ball gowns. “When are you two getting married?” You poked in exasperation and Oma squeezed your side. “Hmph, at this rate maybe before you.” She countered with a mischievous half grin. You rolled your eyes, hoping the flush on your cheeks would roll off as well. “Oh, don’t act so bashful. I know you came here with your suitor too. Where is the mythical Levi Ackerman?” Oma snickered as she stepped over to lean on the railing of the balcony.“It's not like you’ve never seen him before since you attend these events every year.” You side eyed her with a halfhearted grumble. You followed suit, immediately pinpointing him in the same place you had left him.“Yes but he’s never been your Levi.” The nonchalance that Oma shrugged away flew into your chest as fluttered wings. You decided not to comment on it and directed Oma’s focus to the familiar blob of hair and furrowed eyebrows visible among the crowd. “Oh well this won’t do. He’s too short to spy on from up here.” Oma huffed. Your giggle softened her features into a pleasant grin as you rested your head against her shoulder. Her shawl may have been fine silk, but it was nowhere near as soft as her favorite homemade woolen one. She gave your hair loving strokes as you people watched. Her touch temporarily dulled the persistent hum that underlined your day to day existence. One that craved pieces of home. “By the way the creases on his forehead are deepening faster than mine...he looks absolutely enthralled.” Her sarcasm wasn’t even in question. “He complained that he’s forced to come here every year against his will. But I think something deep down in his little cynical heart he likes the break from routine.” You sighed contently. “He and I both. I’m sure he didn’t have to drag you here, though. You’ve always loved these types of frou-frou things.”↞♞♘↠“Huh...YOU’RE RIGHT! I am able to attend now!” Your screech annihilated the morning quiet and stung Levi’s newly awakened ears. You shot up straight, the news filling your body with a specific excitement you hadn’t felt since childhood. Levi grumbled and reconnected his body with yours. He snuck his arms around your waist and buried his face into the space between your hip and the sheets. “Not so loud, idiot. It’s too early to scream.” His voice rasped with the reluctance of consciousness. His sleepy chiding went right over your head as the childhood nostalgia of expensive gowns, exquisite architecture, and the charming palace gardens washed over you.  Walls, the last time you had been to a formal gathering had to have been when you were a teenager. “Of course you are. You’re a squad leader now. It’s mandatory so you wouldn’t even have a choice anyway…” Levi’s irritation was muffled into the bare skin of your thigh as he slipped the hem of your nightgown up your leg to press his face into your body heat. “In the past I’ve always been forced to bear the brunt of Hange’s drunken stupor alone while Erwin and Mike attend to the social matters.” “Well not anymore, count me in! As much as I degrade the elites-” You began, eyes alight with the shimmer of elation. “You are one.” Levi’s wry chuckle sent vibrations along your skin. He began to press lazy kisses to the goosebumps that formed in their wake. His face was obscured by his bed-head, a muss of lustrous raven feathers that tangled against his forehead, but you could sense the shit-eating grin emanating from his lips. “Fuck off.” “Gladly.” He hummed, tightening his grip around your waist and pressing himself flush against your leg. His hands palmed your inner thigh when he finally gazed up at you; chin resting flush against your hip and eyes glowing aquamarine in the dewy sun rays. You jerked suddenly to jab his side and he grunted when you poked him roughly in the ribs, just above his most ticklish spot. Feigning annoyance but unphased, he returned to his previous position. “I was going to say that they know how to have a grand ol’ time.” You said, fingers taming his hair strand by strand. “If you like pleasantries and pretending to have a pole permanently lodged up your anus.” He sighed, relishing in the warmth of your exposed limb and the scratches at his scalp.“I already have that with you around.” You smirked, managing to slip a hand onto his side and wiggling your fingers. He squeezed out an airy laugh as your fingers worked their magic. As soon as he reached to push you away, you used his momentary preoccupation of sensitivity to jump from bed into and towards the bathroom with a wide brimmed grin. You never made it through the doorway. ↞↠↞↠↞↠“We go in wearing our formal, decorated uniforms, and then when the ceremony’s done we do the outfit change-” He began casually but was interrupted by your wide eyed glare from where you rested on his office couch. Levi’s blank facials paled in comparison to your brightly lit enthusiasm. “I haven’t bought a gown in years , Levi!” You buzzed, images of beautiful dresses already swirling through your mind chaotically. “Is there a dress code? I don’t remember from when I was younger…” You trailed off, legs bouncing against the armrest like they were itching to go outfit hunting already. “No. Just don’t show up naked.” He said, focus falling back to his desk work. “Let’s go to town tomorrow.” You stated. When Levi’s eyes flicked back up to you, his chest clenched. You were now sitting up, perched so adorably on the cushion with a sweet, closed mouth smile and doey eyes glazed over in anticipation. You looked like a ticking time bomb. Fuck, it would be hard to say no now. “ Let’s?” He emphasized.“Yes, tomorrow’s our day off. Do you have an outfit planned for the second half?” “Same as last year.” “Great, then more time to help me find mine.” “What if I don’t finish my work from today?” He tested, knowing that his weak excuse for a quiet day in wouldn’t be able to match the sparks you were giving off. “You don’t do your extra work until midnight most days.” You countered. “Because you always occupy my evenings.”“I’m wounded, humanity’s strongest. Truly wounded. I’ve never heard a protest from you before for what we get up to in our free time. Especially when it's oftentimes you who comes into my office to see me .” You crooned dramatically, clutching your heart to your chest and flopping back onto the couch. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” Levi’s mutter creeped up his budding half smile. “It’s settled then. We’ll just continue to perfect our late night work schedule then and ride to town in the afternoon tomorrow!” You beamed. And he didn’t regret going, despite his meager protests. He didn’t regret your intertwined pinkies as you tracked along cobblestone streets and wove between bakeries and shops. Nor the coffee he (was forced to) drink at the ironclad café that lined the main road; watching as the sunbeams bounced off your features as he unintentionally sent the sienna liquid up your nose when he made you snort. And especially not when you pulled back the curtain of the dressing room at the tailors. Levi knew you would be beautiful, because you were always beautiful. Despite this, he didn’t know why he tried to fool himself into believing a simple gown wouldn’t affect him more than usual. Giddy . He felt the giddy flitting of thousands of minute delicate wings flood both chambers of his heart when he saw your form adorned in the dainty fabric. But even more so when he saw how you gazed at yourself in adoration, spinning on your heels and watching the lilac silk fan outward like a gentle whirlpool.  He suddenly and intimately now understood why people dressed up for one another. The excitement of pure enchantment showed, apparently, as you giggled upon facing him. “Still dreading going to the capital?” You puckered your lips in an air kiss and swayed in your dress. Levi didn’t respond for a moment, but the blissful filter over his features answered for you. “The formalities? Yes. You, though? I could never.” His genuine words coated you in a syrupy joy that brought you away from the mirror and into his arms. Levi let his hands travel along your hips. The posh material was almost as lovely as your skin. And now he found himself no longer dreading socializing with the shit stains of the inner city if it meant one splendid evening with his beloved. ↞♞♘↠A cloister of monks ascended into your peripheral vision and your body involuntary tensed. You hadn’t realized your breath had been ruminating within your lungs until the men dissolved into shadow like rats scurrying into the vacant cavernous hallway. Oma felt your shift in demeanor and placed an arm around your waist. She waited for you to release the air from its respiratory prison before speaking. “Just because the Church of the Walls is here doesn’t mean she’s here, sweetheart.” She cooed, her palm delicately running circles of comfort onto your back. You nodded at her reassurance. “I know-I just...I’m not ready to see her.” Your voice was weak, as if the sight of those monks had sapped all the joy from it. “I don’t think I’ll ever be.” “That’s a horrible thing to say about my own mother, isn’t it?” You scoffed with an arid chuckle. Oma let go of you, only to come even closer to you than she was before. Her hands came up to rest on your cheeks and she pinched them abruptly. You let out a small ow but she didn’t budge. “Tonight is not the time for misplaced guilt that we’ve already discussed many many times, girlie. Tonight is your first gala in Ymir knows how long. The only family drama that’s going to occur here at this party will be from me embarrassing you .” Oma’s smile mimicked a coyote, pointed with mischief and purpose. She removed one hand from your face and thoughtfully tapped her chin. “Now...should I explicitly dance on Dot or intimately acquaint myself with the handsome survey corps squad leaders? Hmm?” Oma mused, a satisfied smile appearing when you began to giggle. “With that ultimatum, this is the only time I would rather see you jump Pixis.” Your laugh was a welcome blessing to Oma’s ears. “Speaking of dance partners, it looks as if the next song is starting.” Oma said hurriedly. “Quickly, go grab your little man!” She gave you a brisk nudge towards the nearest staircase. You stuck your tongue out at her before gently balling your dress skirt into your fists and tapping down the marble. “Boo.” You hissed in bubbly lithe as you rounded Levi’s shoulder. As expected (and despite having an aerial view of his location) he was challenging to find due to both his lack of incline and his non-dubious attire. Also to your dismay, your scare garnered no startled reaction. “You ditched me.” He stated coldly, silver orbs narrowing into a silent whine. When you reached your hands out, his remained planted behind his back. “There was enough sexually charged energy between them to repel me so far out of this room that I’d land back at HQ instantly.”You stifled a snort at his discomfort. “I’d be lying if I said I was sorry…” You replied. Your cheesy smile rolled Levi’s eyes right out of their sockets as he finally returned your affectionate gesture. Your palms pressed together were as warm as the alcohol that sloshed in your stomach. You knew by the eagerness of his grip that he wasn’t even a touch upset, just relieved he could finally recess from the conversation. “Did you find your grandmother?” He asked as he lightly stroked his thumbs along your knuckles. “Mhm. She’s over there if you want to say hello.” You said, gesturing to the far side of the room where the bar lay. Oma stood at the far end of the counter, her hands occupied with straightening Pixis’ cravat as their mouths upturned in unheard laughter. Levi didn’t search out new social interaction. It wasn’t something he craved especially at occasions such as these where the only thing he had in common with people was that they were both...people. If it came to him he would handle it accordingly. However, this was someone extremely important to you. Someone extremely important to Petra. So, he felt the need to take initiative. Just as his internal monologue switched to the pep-talk channel, a tugging on his hands brought his attention back to you and the now clearing dancefloor. “But not until after this dance.” You said, your smile and eyes competing for who could luminate more. Levi felt the overwhelming urge to meld into your radiance. “May I have this dance, Captain Ackerman?” Your smile widened, your question more of a formality as you were leading him step by step into the middle of the floor. “Yes.” His answer was easy, simple. For there’s nothing that made him feel more alive than when you held each other. Firm hands on hip and shoulder. Tender palms raised upward. Steps and twirls as intricate as the bow strings and piano keys that supplied your melody. The room spun out of focus as the two of you waltzed into your own universe. “Your expertise in dancing never ceases to amaze me.” Your voice fell just above a whisper for the sheer perfection of the moment left you unable to express anything but awe. “I have quite a few of these under my belt.” His response was just as caught up in the exquisite sweeping motions. “And I’ve had some private tutoring.”Levi didn’t hide that he was good, per say. That was in part to you, the girl who had grown up taking etiquette and dance lessons, who would spin your bodies around your office in the waning daylight. And also in part to picking up on certain styles from attending this annually. He knew he was quite popular in the group dances (for more than just that reason) but with others it was a reflexive chore. Noble daughters, snotty kids, and intrusive mothers could never come close to how finally dancing with you invigorated him. With you, it was like breathing. Too quickly it was time for you to travel outward, and you were reluctantly handed off to your next partner. The transition was carried out by spindles of skirts, precise slides, and gracefully entering another’s embrace. Lazy arms encircled your waist. The heaviness of your partner caused you to support the taller form than vice versa. “Well, well, well. Come here often, hotcakes?” Hange slurred when the two of you made eye contact. Your former squad leader donned a checked tailcoat and matching trousers the color of fallen sienna leaves. You were too entrapped by the pungent aroma of bourbon that dangled from their parted lips to escape their sloppy kiss to your cheek. You recoiled backwards with your nose scrunched away from the smell. “Mmph, Hange your breath.” You complained with a grimace. “What have you been drinking?”“Anything and everything. But shh. Shush now. We can’t talk about a lowly commoner such as myself, your highness.” Their garbled words were as drawled out as their movement as they swung the two of you in a wild turn. The momentum from their flinging almost made you crash into the closest pair of dancers. They threw the two of you pretentious glares as they curtsied away. “Your highness?” You giggled, still reeling from the aggressive spin. Dancing with Hange felt like you were two children on a merry-go-round. “With how lovely you look tonight I am convinced you are of royal blood!” They proclaimed, animatedly throwing their head back to bark with laughter. “Oh yeah? And what could you offer a princess such as myself?” You smirked. You might as well milk it to see if they would offer you money, food, an all expenses paid trip into town...“Y/N you know better than to accept invitations from drunks.” A voice steeped in rich mahogany and a much more stable hand at the small of your back rotated you into your next cycle. You were face to chest with a velvet overcoat. The onyx of the material contrasted starkly with Erwin’s honey tresses and amplified his irises that bombarded you like a royal navy upon azure seas. He was someone you were convinced was bred for nobility, whether he was born into it or not. You couldn’t help but think to a time not long ago where his frigid elegance intimidated you. “But you know how skilled I am at manipulating them.” Your musing brought a deep chuckle from your commanding officer. “How are you doing?” You asked, your question falling from blushed cheeks when Erwin carefully twirled you outwards then back into him in accordance with the choreography. He was the epitome of princely grace and you almost gasped like the passing young ladies did upon laying their eyes on him. If he had decided to open his heart to anyone other than work and his past affinities, his chest would be flocked with doves from all perches of the walls. “I’m fine.” His reply was curt. Once the utterance left his lips you could only focus on the distance residing within his features despite the softness of his suit against your chest. After Erwin, partners came and went like freshly dislodged petals riding on a spring breeze. A mutton-chopped heir to a printing company with words as greasy as wet ink. Hange again. A forward young officer from the military police who offered to give you a private tour of their HQ. Hange yet again. (How they kept finding you out of hundreds of people you didn't know). A kind-hearted ginger haired boy, now squad leader in the garrison, you had briefly known as a cadet who promised to point out the best pie within wall Maria next time you were near his station. Then to another familiar face. Mike appeared in front of you in a suit identical to Levi’s. You wondered if they had bought them together years ago out of necessity. “Hi Mike. Enjoying yourself?” You grinned up at him. He returned your greeting with a soft smile.“Mhm.” His reply was simple and relaxed. You were beginning to relish in your astonishment for Mike’s impeccable dancing when a cacophony of shrieks and startled grunts erupted to your right.The floor parted like the Red Sea around the disturbance. What was revealed caused your face to contort in mortification. Levi stood in the ready position, hands connected professionally with none other than Oma. However their pose was anything but relaxed; both their eyes were wide and limbs stiff as they tried to comprehend the current predicament. A rancid mass of upturned vodka and mutton coated Levi’s chest and began staining the spotless white of his cravat a putrid green. Levi's previous dance partner, the poor young girl, swayed in the hands of two strangers as she drunkenly dry heaved in the aftermath of her vomiting. You looked on from Mike’s arms in pitied horror as your lover’s brow twitched in an aggressive combat against gagging. Oma recovered quickly from her shock and was uttering something unintelligible to Levi. “Disgusting.” Mike coughed, nose scrunching up in disdain.↞↠↞↠↞↠The wind held a vitality potent enough to slowly absorb the palpable heat that radiated off of Levi. Walls of trimmed hedges sheltered him from the nauseating experience and left him solely with you and one of the empty courtyards of the palace gardens. You knew these gardens, you reckoned, as well as the employed horticulturalists from the countless times throughout your childhood spent arranging flowers and foliage displays for galas such as these. Thus, you knew they would be the ideal spot to catch a break and get some fresh air. The darkened sky of a newborn night brought to life the stone carved lanterns that lined the paved square. Water bubbled from the fountain at the center of the pavement in tiers of cascading droplets that rushed beneath the paws of a limestone wolf. He wasn’t scalding like he had been when you helped him disrobe and clean himself off. With his outer layer of accoutrements soiled, his torso was now adorned with the dress shirt he had worn under his military uniform. Your toes barely grazed the thin stones of the walkway from your seat on the edge of the large fountain across from him. He sat with his elbows to his knees, quietly steaming with the remnants of his boiling irritation. In his fading agitation he found the rippling water behind your relaxed fingertips to be insatiably interesting. “You know, no one is going to be phased by what happened on your end. How could you have known she was going to be sick on you? Unless one look at you made her want to empty her stomach.” Your soft voice cut the wind with a hint of jubilee. Levi remained silent, but the tension in his face released at your attempt to cheer him up. “I’m not concerned about what any of them think. I’m just-” He began with a vulnerability that was reserved primarily for you. He exhaled and sat up straight, regarding the scarlet tulips across the way as they bent with the breeze. “I’m just frustrated that that was my shitty introduction to your grandmother.” His confession flowed into you so languidly and gently that it felt like you had fallen back into the fountain. His words left you feeling like you were blanketed in liquid love rather than palace water. It meant so much to you that he was concerned about his first impressions to your family. “Trust me when I say Oma does not care how you two meet as long as no one is an asshole. I’m sure she will love using this to her advantage and hold it against you for the rest of her life. All with love intended of course." You returned warmly, hoping to provide some comfort to his concern. Levi regarded you with the semblance of a kicked puppy, still unconvinced despite his usual wholehearted trust in you. You pursed your lips and came to kneel in front of him, uncaring if the skirt of your dress was kissed by dirt. Your hands first touched his, then ran delicately up his arms, and stopped to frame his face.“She’s loved you even before she’d met you, Vivi.” You cooed, satisfied when a faint strawberry dusting manifested on his cheeks. “And one awkward-albeit laughable-incident isn’t going to change that.” His response came in the form of his lips pressed against yours. He sighed into you and your tongues danced just as you had before until you heard a muffled giggling. When you broke away Levi let out a breathy groan at the loss of contact. He followed your gaze to the disturbance. The sweet nothings and soft chortles grew in volume until Oma and Pixis appeared from the other side of the wall of greenery. “Dot don’t tease me like that…” Oma giggled as they passed the courtyard’s entrance. Pixis had his hand around her waist, neck craned to whisper into her ear as they took their evening stroll. Your heart fluttered for her rekindled romance. “Frau Vogel, Commander Pixis. What a scandal it is to see the two of you canoodling out here in the dark greenery!” You called with dramatic flare. You rose from your seat with your hands exaggeratedly placed on your hips. Levi got up as well, coughing awkwardly when the two stopped in their tracks. Oma peered at you through the veil of night and huffed at your antics.“You have your little rendezvous, I have mine. Anything I get up to tonight they can’t fire me-I’m retired.” She proclaimed with her chin held high. “You’ll learn in time that just because you're older doesn’t mean the flames of passion aren’t still vigorously ignited.” Pixis retorted with a smirk. Levi ate any snide remark he could have made at Pixis for he was in the presence of your grandmother once again. When the older couple came to stand at your resting place, Oma broke away from Pixis’ arm and stood in front of Levi. It was comical for you and Pixis, the two taller of the foursome, to see the tiny woman stand so assertively next to one of the corps's most vertically challenged members. “Elena Vogel. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Levi.” She stated, hand held outwards. Levi blinked, suddenly feeling like if she took his hand he would crumble into the gravel under their shoes. Fuck, he’s killed more titans than he could ever count and yet here he was, standing in front of an elderly woman and stumbling over his own mannerisms. If you fucked up in front of a titan you could just kill it. He definitely couldn’t apply this logic here. When he finally took her hand, and she shook it, the warmth from her palm traveled to her face in the form of a smile weathered by crevasses of experiences but no less bright than the lanterns lighting their space. “It’s nice to finally meet you too.” He said with what he hoped was a welcoming aura. Oma regarded him knowingly and exhaled the crisp air.“Did you see that man earlier who got absolutely doused in tonight’s fucking awful first course? No shame but I’m sure he’ll never be able to live it down.” Oma regaled with a wink. “Well, next time let’s chat longer, I can’t keep my date waiting.” Oma snickered and pointed at the bald man. Her forward language did something to Levi that was rare for him; it left him involuntarily speechless. He gaped as you and Oma shared a parting hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning before we depart.” She said to you, kissing your forehead before regrouping with Pixis. “Don’t be too crazy, tonight. I don’t want to deal with anyone waking up crabby with hangovers and I’m sure Erwin feels the same.” Pixis let out a wispy chuckle as the two of them faded back towards the palace. Then, the two of you were left within the intricate brushwork of the gardens. In the silence, the faraway orchestral music filtered through the leaves and just barely reached your ears. You reckoned it was loud enough for a dance, though. You didn’t need proper music anyway as long as you had Levi. “We didn’t get to dance as long as I would have liked to earlier.” You mused, slipping your heels off, hopping onto the brim of the fountain and tiptoeing around it. “You’re too popular.” Levi huffed a low rumble of a laugh and waited for you to wander your way around the art piece. When you reappeared, he was standing at the edge of the stone. His eyes were your gray haven in the dim light. “Dance with me now then.” He invited. You bit the inside of your mouth to keep from smiling as you flared your skirt and passed him by. Levi watched your backside in confusion as you disappeared behind the inanimate feline once again. “No.” The lifeless face of the wolf spoke with your stubborn tone. Your eyes were aflame with impish brilliance when they locked with his. “The essence of chivalry is to ask your partner. Not demand they dance with you.” You said matter of factly. Your fingertips grazed his jawline as you trotted past. Your sensual touch left Levi enchanted with the bounce of your curls and slender curve of your shoulders. Upon returning from your third trip around the sculpted beast, the moonlight tenderly cradling his striking beauty first caressed your gaze before the pale celestial beams opened up his hand to you. “May I have this dance?” He dressed his request to your liking. You beamed down at him, melting into his embrace when his arms lifted you to the ground by your waist. “Of course.” The orchestra was background notes to the harmonizing of the shaking leaves and the brewing fountain. You weren’t sure if your chest was welded to his or his to yours as you floated around the courtyard. You were two helicopter seeds intertwined on their descent from the canopy, swirling ever so delicately on the wings of one another. When the crescendo hit, you were soaring backwards into a dip where your eyes became acquainted with the springtime constellations. As quickly as you had met them you parted and you ascended into Levi’s open mouthed smile. You didn’t keep track of how many times the songs changed when your lavish movements grew subtle and more intimate. Your head was nestled into his shoulder when you looked up at the night sky once again. “I wonder if there are people looking up at these same stars over the vast sea.” You said wistfully. Levi’s arms tightened around your waist as if the constellations might steal you away from him.  Your wonder was emphasized but not understood by your lover. Why would he wonder who lived on the other end of a train track of stardust when he was already holding his whole world in his arms? He knew he would be perfectly content twirling with his corporeal universe here. Let the milky way swirl the planets, you would always be his earthly galaxy.    "Now let's get back in there, we need to get in line for the photo booth!"

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa alba coreulea oculata ~ A modest tulip of pearl hue that awakens before its sisters in the early spring. When she blooms, the inky beauty of her indigo heart is revealed. ↞↠↞↠↞↠ Colors danced in soft swirls under your closed eyelids. They were so thickly painted that you felt as if one swipe of your hand would intertwine their chromatic trails and mix their hues. You recognized this work of art as your euphoria; the painting of which you dreamed of many moons ago. The delicate hands of your little muse patted your cheeks in a gentle reminder that you were too close to the surface to drift back into darkness. Here you waited in this limbo with the young girl, watching as the colors spun faster against her obsidian locks. She was the culmination of everything you could have in the future where you recovered. The colors gained ferocity as the natural lighting from the wide window above your bed assaulted your eyes. It was as if you were an infant gazing upon the unfamiliar world so intensely it was painful. The searing brightness crinkled your brow and pinched uncomfortably at the corners of your eyes. Sharp pain bombarded you just as the light did. It’s ivory beams peeled the lengthened sleep from your body and left a dull aching in its wake. The discomfort that now hugged your form was worth it, though, for when your vision gradually sifted up from the murky depths of unconsciousness you wanted to cry on spot at the valkyrie before you. He contrasted so vibrantly against the pearly essence of the wallpaper of your room that you weren’t sure if you were still actually dwelling in your painting. An overwhelming urge to mold into him wracked your sedentary muscles. You were agitated at your weakened body, irritated that it couldn’t give your mind what it desired. The magnetic sensation was so strong that, willing your mind could override your physical short circuitry, it would have ejected itself out of its damaged shell and crashed into his open chest. “Lee-” You rasped. Your voice was an exclamation within but manifested into a barely audible moan. The minute noise grasped his attention, though. Your phantom limbs bounced with touch starved compulsion when his head whipped around. You finally laid actual eyes on your favorite features sculpted by the universe. “Lee-vi.” You croaked. The excitement of saying his name sapped what little energy you had from you as you fell into the little girl’s awaiting palms once more. You lingered momentarily on the rickety bridge between consciousness and nothingness, listening to his muffled frantic calls. A warm wind rocked the bridge as his hands against your cheeks hit you like a summer heat wave. His touch endowed you with newfound vigor and your eyes opened once again. He hovered mere inches from your face. The skin you longed to embrace was carved with petal-soft streams of tears that pooled from his desperate eyes and traversed porcelain slopes to drip down his chin. Your eyes instantly brimmed with salty gratitude upon being able to swim in those stormy seas of silver. “Levi…” You breathily whimpered, the corners of your mouth quivering upward as what felt like years of being trapped in a bottle. Ten minutes he had grappled for his name on your lips but to you, it had left like a passing fancy. “It’s me. It’s me-Y/N, it’s me .” He reassured for both himself, and for you. His voice wobbled with the desperate tambour of a colt eager to stand on its own among spring grass. The sheer quaking of his form; from his deeply furrowed brow, to the tears that fell in divine pools, to the frantic hesitation of his touches was in a magnitude that you had never seen in him before. “Levi.” You sighed again, a weak smile sluggishly tugging at the corners of your lips. Like a chick learning to chirp you repeated his name as a mantra. And by Ymir every time you chirped he vibrated at a frequency you couldn’t outwardly match. “I’m here, Y/N.” He cooed as his emptiness finally filled with the colors of your essence. He pressed your foreheads together and basked in the warmth of your skin. “And you’re finally here.” The simple physical touch satisfied both of your needy minds; Levi to know you were awake and you to feel like you were present. He wanted to say more. Explode with everything he had seen and felt these past few days. To unload what felt like months of unshared memories in your absence. But he didn’t want to overwhelm you any more. So he settled on four words. “I love you, Y/N.” He uttered. You could hear the incoming flow of tears diluting his tone. Those words had fallen from his lips countless times since your accident, both internally and externally, but now they actually fell upon you. And it felt like nothing else mattered. “I love you, I love you.” “And I love you.” You cried, fingers ever so tiredly trailing up his arm to weakly touch the softness of his hair. The strands glided between your languid flutters. There you stayed basking in the feeling of home and letting the bulbs of your love bloom between you. “Wh...where are we? It looks like…” You trailed off as your head lolled onto his shoulder. Your eyes trailed the room, from window to wall and bureau to bedside table. “We’re at Oma’s.” Levi explained as he smoothed down some hairs tangled in your drool from the corner of your mouth. “Oma…” Relief was evident in your exhale. There was no other place and no other sheets you would rather be cocooned in than your childhood room after the last image your eyes captured was that carrion swamp of toothy rocks. “She’s here then?” You asked, blinking to make sure you were actually awake. “She left a bit ago to run errands with Felicia-” “Felicia…” Your lips wandered over their names as if you were recalling them from a story read long ago. “Mhm. She and Oma have been taking care of you.” Levi checked your eyes for any signs of dilation and disorientation as you processed everything. Everything seemed fine until you groaned when a chord of pain shot up your taught muscles.“My side hurts.” You complained as your body reflexively stretched. “I know. Don’t try to move too quickly.” Levi instructed gently. He tried to reposition you into a less painful sitting position with as much sweetness as his voice. “How bad is it?” You bared your teeth as he shifted you. Levi kept his face from cringing at the memory of Oma fabricating a new seam for your flesh. He played with your fingers to keep your attention on staying awake. “Oma had to stitch almost your entire side. You...had lost a lot of blood already before I found you. But I was able to put enough pressure on it to keep you-” Levi swallowed and finished his sentence with a deep inhale. The grotesque images of the incident were painted in thick brush strokes along the bow of your brain. To push them down you focused your gaze on Levi’s doting touches and the smoothness of his milky skin. “Do you remember what happened?” He pressed, gentle and hesitant. You hummed in affirmation. You were sure not even the void could remove the scars left upon you by death’s cradle; both physically and mentally.“Connie and I were alone. We were clearing out the titans to the west when Reiner knocked the wind out of me and I fell right into the abnormal…” You felt Levi’s fingers twitch in aggravation. You were too exhausted now to feel that intense hatred that had been palm-up body slammed into you. “It grazed my side with its teeth...but I managed to take it down.” You drew in a ragged breath, the pseudo-smell of carcasses overpowering the sweet smell of the tea still steeping in the kettle nearby. “I...I felt like what being chewed alive is like, Levi.” Your utter outpouring of torture and fearful tears had Levi’s heart shattering all over again as it had the moment he retrieved your limp body from that sticky pool of blood. He caged the animosity that steamed under his skin for Reiner’s negligence, for the titan’s bloodlust, and for the dangerous oath both of you had taken. He had more to be grateful for right now than angry over.His thumbs pressed feather-light kisses to your water lines, drying the flooded areas. He brought his hands to your cheeks and leaned in close so you were forced to reside within the shining slate mines of his irises. “You’re alright now. You’re here, I’m here. You made it out, love, and nothing will be able to bring you back to that moment.” Levi said with a firmness and sincerity that bathed you in immediate serenity. Levi rarely used pet-names with you. His terms of endearment came in the form of actions and gestures rather than words. Only when he wanted to communicate something deeper, a feeling he would never come close to conveying with his vocabulary, did they break through the surface. “I’m assuming I fucked him up since I’m still alive.” You tried to joke as dizziness further loosened its constricting grip on your head. “From what I saw, you absolutely fucked him up.” Levi cracked a smile when you wheezed out a laugh. “Did Eren-?” You began. Your blackout had left you with many unanswered questions. “I don’t know. By the time I had seen your flare they had already disappeared.” He answered.“Don’t even.” He added. He sifted through your disorientation and hurt to find the fledgling tendrils of guilt creeping up your brow. “None of us expected that attack. We all did what we could and no one can fault us for that.” You chewed the inner corner of your lip and let his words sink in. “You fought so well. You protected Connie and killed that abnormal who most likely would have gone on to kill someone else. I’m proud of you.”Your bottom lip quivered under his earnest praise. You strained towards him and Levi realized you were attempting to give him a kiss. He hesitated momentarily, afraid of embracing you in a sore spot or accidentally pressing you backwards at an awkward angle. With a delicate crane of his neck he met you more than halfway. His lips fell upon yours with the tenderness of a newborn fawn’s footsteps but the ferocity of lovers parted by a great ocean. He drew back to see a pout where his lips had just resided. “What is it?” “I really have to pee.” You stated. Levi’s rocking waves of baritone laughter and his steady arms lifted you from your bed.“I want to try walking.” You proclaimed with determination, gaze focused straight ahead on the ensuite bathroom. Levi was impressed with how well you tottered across the room, with his structural support of course. He would wince every time you did but you didn’t let the fire in your side impede your locomotion. “Do you need me to stay?” He asked in genuine concern. He watched you skeptically as you wobbled above the toilet. “You pervert.” You huffed, grimacing at the tightness in your thighs as you crouched down. “But yes please.” Once business had been taken care of and you had assured him you felt coordinated enough to slowly walk back to bed yourself, Levi had gone to clean up his fallen tea cup. He had just finished dabbing the bedside rug with a rag when your sniffle dragged him to his feet. The fabric of your nightgown, despite being silken to the touch, had snagged the rough skin of your stitches like sharp brambles as you bunched it up to your breasts. With your torso fully exposed to your morbidly curious gaze, you had never been more disgusted with yourself. Your body resembled the two sides of a coin in how starkly different they looked. Supple curves flowed beautifully into strong and nimble legs. Across the way, a crescent moon of scissored flesh dug its hooks into your once smooth skin. Lightning bolts of broken blood vessels and bruising held your thigh to your hips like a haphazardly made corn doll. “I’ve never looked so weak.” Your disbelief manifested itself in a dark chuckle. The image of your battered body had left you in shock at your forced metamorphosis. Your fingertips barely tapped at your stitches as if they were repulsed to be in the vicinity of your wound. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your tears until Levi’s body carefully wrapped around yours from behind. He didn’t dare touch your scarring, but he did intertwine your hands with his and placed his head on your shoulder. “I don’t think you’ve ever looked so strong.” He whispered with an airy kiss to your neck. You looked up to meet his eyes in the mirror and your chest clenched at his unfiltered adoration. “You will heal. And to speed that up you need to not push yourself.” Levi gently ushered you away from the mirror and turned you back towards the bed. As you walked, your gaze fell to the open bedroom door. Your eyes began to water once again, pooling at your bottom lids like the body of water you now cried for. Levi anxiously regarded you and your newest bout of tears. “Levi...is Puddle?” You coughed. A heavy rock of dread plummeted into your stomach. You couldn’t recall the last time you had seen your other beloved boy. Levi grinned fondly. “He’s fine. He’s out in the pasture.” He assured you. He felt the breath you had been holding release against his side and you continued your journey back to bed. Once you had practically deflated back into the blankets, it dawned on Levi that you would need sustenance. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? Lightheaded?” He mused like a mother hen. “All of the above but I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” “I’ll just get water, then.” He decided and dipped out of the room. The steady tick-tock of the carved clock and the twittering of the birds above you almost lulled you to sleep when Levi re-emerged. The water was unpleasant; too cool against the dryness of your throat. As you forced yourself to gulp it down, you registered Levi’s outfit. The realization made you lightly gasp. “What’s wrong?” Levi bristled, fearing one of your organs decided to pop. “Those clothes…” You whispered as you licked the final droplets of water from your lips. 
Shit, were you upset he had borrowed them? Maybe he was encroaching on something precious.
“Y/N I didn’t-” You shook your head and smiled sweetly.“They look good on you.” You giggled at the blush that rose on his pale cheeks. “The pants are a little too long though...shorty.” You winked weakly. Levi was relieved that you felt alright enough to tease him. It was a more than welcome nuisance. “Not my fault everyone in your family besides Oma seem to be giants.” He countered as he sat down on the empty side of the bed. “Oh Ymir, I’ve been out for...how long have I been unconscious?” “Two and a half days.” “ Shit , that means you’ve been all alone with Oma.” You whined. “I take full responsibility for anything she’s done or said.” Levi shut you up with another kiss the consistency of butterfly wings. He pulled back and your heart fluttered at the light in his features. “We get along pretty well.” “She hasn’t scarred you yet? That’s a first.” “I didn’t say that.” He replied with impish jest. “We...understand one another.” Levi stated simply. You beamed at his comment and gave him a once over, noting his seemingly pristine physical condition. “You’re doing okay? You look fine.” “My shoulder is bruised and I feel stiff but that’s it.” He reassured with a spirited flex of his shoulder blades. Your mouth hung open in incoming speech when a crashing at the base of the stairs followed by two sets of groans interrupted you. “Dammit Felicia just-place them at the bottom of the stairs. No! See I knew this was going to happen, your arms are the consistency of chicken legs. You could have easily made a second trip from the carriage.” Oma scolded her with fiery disappointment obvious in her tone. You and Levi exchanged amused glances at the antics below the stairs. “Levi, are you up here?” Oma called as she ascended to the second floor. You bit your lips in anticipation of your reunion with your grandmother. “I’m in here.” Levi replied with a squeeze of your hand. “That foolish girl has just spilled half of her suitcase onto the floor.” The old woman complained as she approached your bedroom. A pair of crutches under one arm and a fresh package of bandages entered your room just before she did. “I mean, really, she has to be aware that she has the strength of a bumbleb-”“Hi Oma.” You hiccuped. Your cheerful greeting faded into a whimper at the sight of her. She looked as lively and as lovely as you had last seen her. The crutches fell to the floor with a sharp clatter and she turned to you with wide eyes. “ Oh , my darling.” She croaked, gliding to your side and smothering you with careful kisses on every corner of your face. Levi pulled away to let the weeping woman embrace her kin. You buried your head into her shoulder and sighed into her familiar cradle.The beautiful, joyously tearful reunion drove that stake of peculiar familial warmth deeper into Levi’s chest as he silently watched on as Oma and you began to catch up. “Y/N!” Felicia screamed. She stood at the foot of the bed utterly petrified with relieved shock. “Hi Felicia.” A grin parted the wetness on your face. She was quick to take you into her arms as well, and held you there as she rambled on about how ecstatic she was that you were awake. “Thank you for taking care of me.” You said as she pulled away. Your eyes crinkled and her’s mirrored yours. “All of you.” You added, looking to every one of your earthly angels around you. “What time is it?” “Half past three.” Oma said, squinting at the clock. “Aw, I missed my morning coffee.” The once fragile room was filled with hearty laughter and smiles for the rest of that afternoon.↞↠↞↠↞↠After spending the next few hours lazing with second swigs of tea and half eaten dinner plates, Levi gave your interlocked palms a squeeze. He broke away and padded out of the room to give you and Oma much needed alone time. The clanking of porcelain against the sink drew his attention to the kitchen archway and he paused momentarily along his descent. “It sounds like an earthquake is breaking all of your dishes.” Levi commented dryly. Felicia yelped in surprise, generating even more clanking. “Eek, I apologize if my cleaning has been bothering you! Oh walls, has it been loud enough to disturb Y/N??” She buzzed in anxiety. Levi threw her a half smile.“I was joking. Clearly you didn’t take it that way...do you need help?” He said and leaned in the archway to the kitchen. “O-oh...ahahah.” She sputtered and offered a wiggly, but calmer, grin back. “No, I’m all good here despite the noise. So no need to trouble yourself! Although I know you do love cleaning…” Levi deadpanned into a single nod and continued out to the front porch. Two rocking chairs perched themselves along the ornate railing as they relished in the feature film that was the evening tulips. The fields were dulled by the blue haze of the encroaching moonlight. He plopped down into the aged wood and took in his new favorite smell; country air. He had absolutely no idea what he had been missing with the must and dust of the underground and the metallic smell of blood against pine needles outside the walls. He let time take the backseat to his rocking as he mildly entertained himself by finding shapes in the swaying flowers. His hand absentmindedly fiddled with the contents of his pocket. He sighed contently and brought them out of their cotton resting place and into the open. The two little bands of gold were illuminated against the pale floral sea. A snort jolted the rings back into his pocket and whipped his head to the source. His body stiffened like an agitated teenager harboring stolen alcohol. Oma had appeared with a pony, a creature of small mousey brown and stout stature. It bore a harness with large wicker baskets hanging from either side of its chubby shoulders.“Wanna help a brittle old woman with some last minute harvesting? I’m extremely behind on today’s work for obvious reasons." Oma invited with spice in her tone. If she had seen the jewelry, she was very convincing at hiding otherwise. Levi indulged in the rocking chair, creaking back and forth a couple times, before heaving himself up silently. “It will do you good to get those muscles moving.” She said, patting his good shoulder as he neared. Once he was standing next to her she gripped his collar and yanked it downward. Levi faltered at the unexpected grapple and stumbled backwards. She peeped under the cloth, admiring the progress of her handiwork. “Looks good still.” She affirmed, playfully snapping the band back and she waltzed into the field. “Damn I’m one hell of a seamstress.” Levi followed the pony’s hoofprints down the main lane until the house was barely in view. They arrived at a patch of tulips the color of midday sunshine and lemon drop candy. “Alright, look here boy.” She rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Levi regarded her as she kneeled down in front of her chosen flowers, one of the wicker baskets loyally resting at her side. “It’s not as simple as pulling the damned thing up, you might tear the bulb out that way. If you do that you owe me whatever I would have earned from the re-cultivation of that tulip.” She sternly explained, sending him daggers in her eyes he had come to recognize held no malice. Levi watched carefully as she dug out around the base of the stem, twisted gently with a firm grasp, and lifted, effortlessly releasing the flower from its anchor. He kneeled down in his picking area and mimicked her movements. After a couple broken stems and constructive criticism they had fallen into a steady rhythm. “So...do you want to show me what’s jangling around in your pocket?” Oma inquired with a sly innocence. Levi eyed her with his grasp mid stem. Her features were smug with knowledge. “You want to see what is inside my pocket?” Levi quipped back as he yanked the flower from its birthplace. “Uh-huh.” “Like...lint?” Levi returned matter-of-factly. He was grateful straight facing was his most coveted skill in interrogations such as these. Oma cackled and blew the excess dirt from her fingertips. “I saw the rings, Levi. No use playing dumb with me.” She stopped her harvest and gauged him for a reaction. Levi cleared his throat and continued working. “How do you know I wasn’t keeping them safe for Erwin’s wedding to his eyebrows?” Levi replied with an even tone. He cringed at his bullshit.“Now that’s a wedding I’d like to be invited to.” Oma laughed, and Levi couldn’t help but grin at his absolute shitty cover up. “It doesn’t- didn’t - really matter that much to me. Getting married.” He began as his hand hovered over the wind kissed petals of his next flower. It took a couple of soft sways for him to decide how to articulate his feelings. “Why should I let a piece of paper, a circlet of metal, and some holy man manifest a promise that I’ve already committed to her myself?” Oma hummed along in acknowledgment. “But...realizing how much marriage meant to her made me place my opinions aside and realize I was being selfish in my reservations.” A grasshopper popped in and out of the columns of stems. “She’s never made a big deal out of it, but I’m not blind. I see the way she fawns over wedding dresses and how her eyes light up when she sees families on the street.” His tone grew somber as thoughts of doubt flooded his mind. When the thought of becoming a husband and even a father crossed his mind he shoved them immediately into the darkest corners of his subconscious. But despite those intimate fears, he would never doubt he wanted to make you happy for the rest of his days. “I want to give Y/N something that she can cherish for a long time in a world where everything we have seems so temporary. And standing through a ceremony celebrating our commitment...I guess isn’t the worst thing I could think of.” With a slow exhale, he removed the rings from his pocket and held them up. Oma noted he regarded them with the same tenderness he reserved for you. His self awareness and lack of confidence intertwined with the utter devotion she could see he had for you brewed a hearth in her chest. “Well, congratulations. They’re lovely. She’s going to absolutely love them.” Pure fondness spread through every crevasse in Oma’s face and overwhelmed Levi with domesticity. He averted her gaze and repocketed his trinkets. He grunted awkwardly with a nod. “Thank you.” She said and began working again. “For what?” Levi’s brow furrowed as he too resumed. “For loving her, and receiving her love in return. It sounds like a lot of fairy-tale bullshit and troll scrotums, but love is quite the powerful ally.”He rose his head to a crinkled smile and he nodded with a half moon of his own on his lips. His smile, however, did not betray the bleakness in his features. A comfortable silence fell over the two of them as they continued to pluck the beauties from their earthy homes. They eavesdropped on the occasional yowl from a fox and the croaking of toads. “Do you know what makes a good, sturdy, lively tulip, shorty?” Oma asked as she strong-armed one from the ground. She examined the flower with eyes that Levi’s own vision would never be able to duplicate. “Water.” He guessed offhandedly, flicking a worm off of the roots of his own flower. The older woman scoffed at the blandness of his answer. “If that’s all it took, I’d be richer and my lower back wouldn’t ache like a bitch.” She cackled. “You’ve got the basic idea. But you haven’t even scratched the most important bits.” Levi’s verbal silence pressed her to continue as he scooted over to the next patch nearest to him. “First you need rich soil. If you live where that soil is contaminated-ya know too much clay, too little nutrients. Then you need to physically make the soil capable of growing life.” She began with a bulky wheeze as she lifted her basket to reposition herself over her floral children. “Here, thankfully the soil is loose, airy, and just a bit sandy. But that wasn’t the case at our old place. A downright hard job it was to get those little bastards to grow. But we did.” “Once you’ve got your soil sorted out, you need the bulbs. Some of the bulbs won’t make it. That’s just how it is. But the ones that do poke their little heads above the ground and leave their dark incubations.” “Then comes the water.” She looked at him pointedly and he rolled his eyes. “It’s the one constant thing in a tulip’s life that nurtures it into maturity.” “How versed are you in tulip anatomy?” Oma asked as she held her latest victim up. Levi blinked at her.“Expertly.” His sass made her smirk. “Well, then you’ll know that petals-arguably the most cherished and viewed piece-are a part of the tulip. So is the stamen, pistil, and pedicel.” She lectured while supporting her points with gestures to the places on the plant she was talking about. “While they are all interconnected with the flower, they aren’t the whole tulip.” She stated. She threw the saffron colored flower in an underhand swoop to Levi who caught it effortlessly. He twirled the soft skin of the largest petals between his thumb and index finger as she talked before tossing it into his own basket. “There’s a lot nature can teach us about ourselves. I mean we’re all natural beings, even the titans.” She said with pursed lips and swiftly grabbed at the pony’s halter when she saw him mouthing for the buffet in her basket. “That’s why I’ve stuck with this job for so long. By looking at them, they remind me that my oddities, mistakes, and what-have-you, may linger with me and be a part of me...but they aren’t all of me. There’s still a bulb down there under the earth waiting to re-blossom.”  Levi now understood the depth of her analogy. Normally, if someone was beating around the bush to tell him he needs to cheer up he would have either slammed the door in their face, or their face into the door. But this didn’t feel like that. Her words seeped into his heart and rested there in what he could only begin to grasp as...parental warmth. That warmth was beginning to heat into an overwhelming feeling that seared Levi like a hot iron. Her genuine care was seeping around him and coating his chronic emotional aches with a sticky sweetness that made his hands twitch nervously. “That’s what you need to do to help yourself, I’ve learned. To cultivate learning to live with yourself and then in turn others.” She sighed as she pressed the disturbed soil back into place. When Levi looked down, his hands were suddenly so small and so caked in dirt. But not dirt from the fields. No, it was an oily, slick dirt that tasted like oxidized metal when he ate stale bread from them. “Tulips don’t live forever even though they blossom every year. Life could not exist without death, and it only hurts yourself to deny mortality in you and in others. It only makes you suffer, not the loved ones that have passed before you or the ones that slipped through your fingers.” He was shaking like he used to when his malnourished body constantly teetered on the edge of starvation. His bony wrists buckled under the immense weight of the flower and it tumbled to the ground in front of him. He wore a once expensive sleeping gown gifted to his mother by one of her regulars. It was clearly for her, but she had given it to her poor son to provide him with that extra warmth when she was too sick to wrap him in her love herself. It was tattered and stained from years of wear. But it still smelled of her. “Everyone and everything in this world of ours must die. Life is a precious gift with that knowledge. And a gift so precious can’t be wasted on beating yourself down for existing, for living . Self proclaimed demons and mistakes in all.”  Levi felt the childish pressure of tears building behind his eyes. He wished to choke out a whine, to let them burst out, to feel the safety of his mother’s chest against his wet cheeks instead of her lifeless embrace. He felt the tantrum of frustration at all of this emotion he kept so expertly under lock and key. His bare toes sank into the flowers behind him as he knelt on the soil just as he did the cramped trailer where he resided when his mother worked in their room. He finally felt like a child in the presence of a mother’s comfort. Oma’s consolation brought back that gangly, mute, shelled boy. The boy who had to grow up into a man overnight, surrounded by reflections in knives and last words as screams. The boy who never had the chance to cry it out about foolish things like his mother not being able to take him on a walk through the city, like his bloated belly eating itself instead of dinner, like never being able to see the sun. The boy who was always the pillar for others and never had a guardian to stroke his head and tell him that better days are coming. “I’m rambling like this because I see the intense self loathing in you that I used to feel for myself-” She half chuckled to make light of her weighted words. "Well, and because...you're family now." Family. That one word held so many gestures behind it that Oma had shown him since arriving at her home. It was spoken by someone who genuinely cared about him; someone not only special to you but special to him now, too. And that realization sent a wave of lightheadedness through him. All of the safety, the pleasantries, the luxuries of home he never got to experience caught up with him in this very moment and he felt like he could burst. Burst with gratitude, burst with relief. But also burst with fear of losing it all. “I’m rambling like this because I see the intense self loathing in you that I used to feel for myself-” She half chuckled to make light of her weighted words. The dry laugh faded into the air with the rest of her sentence when she gazed upon him. Her smile dropped as bubbling tears cascaded over his dark bottom lashes. “Oh, my dear.” Oma gasped out a breathy coo. She instantly dropped her basket, not caring if her naughty pony ate some of her crop. She flew to him; her knees before his and her hand pressing his head to her shoulder. Her other arm rubbed ginger ovals into his back that urged him to crumple into her strong embrace. For a moment, he wondered if this is what his mother would have felt like if she hadn’t been so frail. He could only guess that this is the feeling he had missed. The childhood that was never nurtured into him. The childhood he had forsaken for survival. And in a twisted way, he was now more than ever thankful for the horrors of his youth as he nestled into Oma’s loving arms. Because he was beginning to understand that his own life was precious. Not just yours or Oma’s or Felicia’s or Erwin’s or Petra’s or everyone he fought for. She was right, and Levi was too prideful to tell her how grateful he was for her in this moment. "I." He fought to swallow his shame in his childish behavior. He reluctantly released himself from the soft strokes of her fingers through his hair and the solace he felt in his chest at her embrace. Oma regarded him with worry as he retracted from her, kneeling in front of her and gazing at the sky. He sniffled and hastily wiped his tears before standing. His erratic heartbeat was already making it hard enough to breathe, if he held her gaze now, he feared he would suffocate in embarrassment. "I'm going to go see if the horses are out of water." He declared, his voice creaking more than he would have liked. He coughed to oil the old floorboards of his tone and picked up his basket. "But-" He began, turning his body towards Oma. She hoped he would meet her attentive visage, but settled for his heartfelt response instead. That was the best he could give right now, and she knew that. "I needed to hear that...thank you." Oma watched his back fade into the petals as she smiled bittersweetly. "We all do." She hummed. Maybe he did need to let his withered leaves and wilted colors fall from his body, leaving him with just his skeleton and his heart. ↞↠↞↠↞↠The creaking of the wood under his boots was the only sound in the dim darkness of the newborn night as he made his way upstairs. He paused at your door, glancing in to see you tucked back under the sheets. A half smile carried him back to his temporary chambers to wash up. He managed to fully wash the silt from under his fingernails and his knuckles while still keeping Oma's comfort there. When he deemed himself fully cleansed, he slunk through the crack in your doorway without causing the hinges on the old wood to groan. He deftly sat in the chair still positioned next to your form. His eyes softened at the slight twitch of your nose and your steady breaths. Just as he began admiring the warm glow of life rising back up into your skin, your eyelashes fluttered in greeting. “Did I wake you?” He whispered, his voice devoid of anything but airy tenderness. You shook your head, the plushness of your pillow swallowing your face then regurgitating it up. “No, I was just resting my eyes.” You blatantly lied through a smile that was blinding in comparison to the muted candle light. “I’ve slept too much these past few days. I don’t want to right now…” You began with the saddest attempt at a pout Levi had ever witnessed. Just speaking that sentence already almost sent you into another deep slumber.“Then just keep resting your eyes then, instead of sleeping.” Levi whispered as you trailed off in obvious exhaustion. He pressed his hand to your forehead, blissfully cool from the tap water, and moved your hair away. In its place, his lips placed the sweet hum of affectionate proximity on your skin. You registered the chair rubbing against the floorboards through the incoming sleep. “Will you stay, Levi?” You asked, doe eyes blinking up through the gray. You didn’t even have to ask him. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” You felt the bed dip to your left. He settled in beside you on his side, his arm a firm resting place for his head as he gazed upon you through the night veil. He didn’t draw you to him as he usually would. It would scar him if he selfishly undid the hard work of Oma and Felicia. For now, just basking in the aura of your wellbeing was enough of a security blanket. You weakly shifted so your head was perched in his direction. The two of you laid in silent fear of sleep. You didn’t want your beautiful little angel to carry you back into the void. Levi didn’t want his demons to vouch all of this as a practical joke and take you from him when he rose the next morning. “Levi.” “Hmm?”“You called her Oma.” You mumbled, finally relenting into the arms of rest.    “I did.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Breaking the News↞♞♘↠Your budding relationship with Levi wasn’t a secret. It just hadn’t been formally announced in a grandiose speech to the entire scouting legion. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t tell people if they prodded you hard enough. 
“You told him.” Jean smirked as you walked towards the dining hall. “That stupid grin that never leaves your face says it all.”

It hadn’t even been two full days since you had confessed, of course he would have caught on by now. He knew you too well.

“...I hate how well you know me.” 
~~~
“Levi, I just went to your office to find you.” Petra began, tapping her finger idly along the polished wood of the library table. Levi looked up from his book with a raised eyebrow.

“...And I found Y/N lounging in there instead.” Petra’s lips wobbled in a poor attempt to contain her excitement. Levi sighed and blinked up at her.

“Please tell me the two of you are finally together!” She demanded sweetly, leaning over the table in giddy suspense.

“We are.” 
Despite Levi’s outward nonchalance, he too was quite giddy. And he thought that word and his name would never have been remotely connected. He felt utterly happy, but that didn’t mean he had to parade this newfound bliss around. The official standing of your relationship wasn’t a new installment in everyone’s lives. It was between you and him. It was simple. If someone asked, the two of you would tell them. But that casual openness didn’t pertain to Hange and Erwin. Oh no, the two of you wanted to mess with two of the most important people in your lives. Believe it or not, Erwin had a pension for gossip. Being commander, naturally he liked to be informed on all of the happenings in his jurisdiction. Hange, also having an insatiable desire of the unknown, was the corps worst and most persistent snoop. So, to have a bit of fun, you and Levi decided to make a game out of it. And those who did know were told to keep their mouths shut until you were done. “ERWIN!” Hange’s bellow was a swift precursor to the boisterous body slam that crashed against Erwin’s locked office doors. Erwin’s eyes flicked up from his desk towards the cacophony. A muffled groan of pain fell upon the commander’s ears as he strode to unlock his office. Once the locks clicked, Hange uncrumpled themself and walked in. “Sorry, I was trying to be dramatic but your door was locked." They huffed and rolled their wrists with a crisp crack. Erwin regarded at them as if this was in their daily routine. “What can I do for you, Hange?” He posed calmly, clasping his hands together behind his back. “I saw Levi and Y/N having lunch together at one of the outdoor tables.” They said in utter seriousness and leaned in. Erwin raised his brows as they continued to stare at him with wide eyes. “They do interact, you know.” He responded, unimpressed by this mundane observation. Hange shook their head vehemently. “Yes yes I know. But Levi took some food from her plate. He never does that with anyone. Doesn’t want their cooties.” Hange elaborated, their tone viscous with conspiracy. Now this did peak the commander’s interest. His hand came to rub at his freshly shaven jaw at the thought provoking scenario.   "That is unusual.” Erwin mused. He would have liked to give the two of you the benefit of the doubt on confiding in him the status of your relations-as both your commanding officer and a friend. But he couldn’t deny Hange’s claim. They were right, Levi never shared food willingly. “Time to investigate?” Hange suggested with a wily grin. An impish half smile blossomed on Erwin's lips and he sealed their proposal with a nod. Let’s just say...all of their investigatory attempts had failed thus far. They started out simple; discretely corralling the two of you to sit by each other at meals and watching for affectionate gestures.Which got them:Nothing. Save for you taking Levi’s plate to be cleaned…but you did that for everyone else at the table as well. ~~~Erwin felt he was justified in saying he and Levi had a close relationship spanning many years at this point. Thus he would like to think he knew him well enough to be skeptical that Levi would be the jealous type. Hange, on the other hand, couldn't have disagreed more. Erwin’s thumb brushed along the ceramic pot of the freshly planted wild daisies as he flagged down a passing cadet. “Cadet.” He called. His level voice stopped the kid in his tracks with wide eyes. He jogged over and stood straight in front of his superior officer on the outskirts of the training grounds where you were currently waiting for your next batch of cadets. Levi was sitting a few meters away fiddling with a broken 3DM harness in his lap as he too waited for more brats to train. “Yes sir?” The young man saluted him. Erwin silently extended his floral hand to him. The young man blinked in confusion at the gesture. It only hit Erwin then, what this looked like. He cleared his throat and pursed his lips. “Go place these next to Squad Leader Y/N.” Erwin instructed without a hint of jest and nodded towards where you were leaning along the fence. You looked like you were dozing off as you waited. “It’s for landscaping.” Erwin noted the sheer perplexiity that radiated off of the boy, but the cadet didn’t question the simple order given to him. Erwin watched from afar as he approached your oblivious form. The disorientation of the early stages of a nap mixed with the sudden tap on your shoulder made you startle. You gripped the poor kid by the arm, immediately causing him to drop the potted flowers. You instinctively threw him over your shoulder and he hit the ground hard . “Oh Ymir, I’m so sorry!” You profusely apologized as the cadet groaned and rubbed his hip. Erwin sighed at his failed plan as you helped the boy back up and explained to him you weren’t usually that jittery. “Nice throw.” Levi commented when the cadet was out of earshot. ~~~Hange’s last ditch attempt was to once they were done talking to Levi in his office, suddenly demand they had to use the restroom and insist that it absolutely cannot wait. This was in the hopes of Levi graciously letting them use his and they could briefly snoop around his bedroom and ensuite for any signs of you. All they got was a gracious shove outside of his office and a request to take care of their business out in the hallway instead. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Once they had exhausted their plans, Erwin called Hange into his office on a humid summer evening. Hange swiveled in circles behind Erwin’s office desk, their legs propelling them gently round and round in his chair.  Erwin leisurely reclined on the leather couch after regrouping on their failures thus far. “There is a festival in town this week.” Erwin spoke up. “Are you asking me out on a date?” Hange asked on their way around the chair's orbit, their head lazily slung against the headrest of the seat. “No.”“Shame, haven’t been on a date in so long.” “If we’re still serious about getting to the bottom of this, I’ll make it mandatory for everyone to go into town for the market fete.” He proposed and chewed at his bottom lip in thought. Hange pursed their lips as they pondered his suggestion. They halted their spinning and rolled over to him. “Go on.” They urged at his tantalizing proposal. “As you know, I usually give everyone the day off during the festival every year in case they want to go. A few of our officers usually volunteer to help out and engage with the community.” Erwin explained. “This time I’ll require all-”“For the love of Ymir, minus cadets please. Could you imagine how many babies that would be to manage?” Hange interjected with an exhale. “Right, only squad members will take the day off.” “This will ensure that both Levi and Y/N are there. We’ll say it will be a good opportunity to not only volunteer for the community, but create transparency between the military and civilians. There’s going to be dancing, music, and food so they’re bound to sneak off together at some point. We will keep a vigilant watch.” Erwin said eloquently. He then looked at his subordinate expectantly. Hange blinked. “I was going to suggest we start a small, controlled fire in my laboratory while both of them are in there to garner a romantic rescue scene. But let’s go with your idea. It’s not necessarily better...but it’s easier.” Hange nodded in affirmation. “Let’s save the pyrotechnics as our very last resort.” He agreed. “We’ll have to be resourceful while we are there. Know our environment, and what triggers might expose their everlasting love to us.” Hange said with dreamy determination. ↞↠↞↠↞↠When Erwin announced that it was mandatory for all upper level officers to volunteer, you had commissioned Oma to send you tulips to sell at the local flower shop’s booth. Your fingers nimbly weaved stems of tulips and other assorted angiosperms into delicate flower crowns while the rest of your body bopped along to the lively fiddle music that flooded the square in front of you. “Go out there.” Your stall mate, the heavily pregnant owner of the shop, urged when she noticed your little dancing. Villagers were laughing as they line danced to the upbeat music, couples swirled in a whirlwind of giggles, and others preferred to freestyle on their own. You looked from the shop owner to the square and back again in a fleeting moment of contemplation. “No, I couldn’t. We came here to volunteer, not dance.” You politely declined her offer with a warm grin. “Maybe later tonight.” She shrugged and resumed arranging a bouquet of peonies. You had placed your crown out for display and had just barely reached for a fresh tulip when a distantly familiar voice called your name over the merriment. “ Luca ?” Your breathy voice rose with your shocked smile. “No way, it’s been ages!” Across the counter stood the remnants of a boy you had been acquainted with at banquets and other high end events before enlisting into the corps. To say he was quite different from when you last saw him would have been a grave understatement. “It really has! Walls, it’s had to have been since we were 17 right?” From the perpendicular side of the square, even Levi had to forcibly admit...he was handsome as fuck. Sickeningly handsome. Perfect teeth of the highest bleached marble. Perfect hair the shade sunbaked bronze bricks. Perfectly pressed suit jacket and trousers. Perfectly annoying how he garnered such sweet laughter from you. 
How would he like a perfectly undercooked, scalding pancake all over his perfect face?
Levi took pleasure in holding the title as reigning king of outward indifference. Keyword: outward . Levi didn’t generally think of himself as jealous or walls forbid over-possessive. But when he finally allowed himself to acknowledge his affections for you, irrational feelings of abandonment surfaced more than he would have liked. Possessiveness would pick at his insides and fester there until your imprint was felt in his waiting arms. He would never act on it, unless it was someone clearly making you feel uncomfortable, especially not before you two made your feelings known to each other. But now that he was yours and you were his, any false threat that could take you away from him was an intrusive thought he couldn’t shake. His past self would have snickered at how his emotions had him whipped into a constant cycle of elation and fear of deprivation. But he would now rather feel that than nothing at all without you. Levi was quite the sight himself. There he resided behind his booth, situated at the long iron skillet with a frilled apron (courtesy of the crepe shop and unwillingly placed onto him) cinched around his waist. He simultaneously burned a hole right through the jubilant townspeople and the bubbling pancake batter sizzling on the griddle. Hange would later say he resembled a small gremlin who didn’t take his job seriously enough. “Two strawberry crepes, please.” An older woman requested politely. Levi made a noise of acknowledgement, only looking down briefly to flay the batter out in a thin circle. His fingers flexed in the direction of the strawberries, missing them by an inch as he continued his eagle eyed spying. 
Don’t inch closer to her.
Erwin, stood next to the goblin in a matching apron, watched as the woman watched Levi who was watching you. He sighed, shoving the tub of berries within range of Levi’s grasp. His eyes finally snapped away from you at the smell of burning batter. He rolled the poor crepe and plopped it onto the woman’s plate. 
Those soft hands wouldn’t ever be able to make you feel as good as mine.
“Um-these are burnt.” She accused, her voice still ringing pleasantly despite her disappointment. Levi blankly took the whipped cream and gave her a heaping dollop. “There, now you can’t tell.” He said simply. The customer looked at Erwin and he gave her a cringed smile.“I apologize, ma’am. Let me make you another one.” He offered. ~~~“When I heard you and the kid you used to sometimes bring as your date to events-” Luca began, his bright grin never wayining. “Jean.” You clarified. “Yeah him! When I heard you guys joined the survey corps I gotta say I wasn’t surprised with you, given your Oma. I was a bit devastated that I wouldn’t get to see your beautiful face for awhile, though.” He smoothly slid the flirty comment over the counter to you. You did a double take, chuckling softly before he started speaking again. “It’s good to see you unscathed. You’re so brave, you know that?” His dazzling boyish smile and clear attentiveness towards you made the pregnant woman giggle from the other corner. “Thank you for saying that.” You replied sweetly. His compliments were coming on very strong and out of nowhere. Your mind buzzed with ways to politely accept them without leading him on.“But what are you up to? The last time I saw you, you wanted to be a lawyer.” You chuckled nostalgically. His bright laugh made Levi want to gag on the sunspots that seemed to come out of his mouth. “I’m actually a banker now. I’m training to take over for my dad when he retires.” He said with enthusiasm. You were about to continue the conversation when the pregnant woman interjected. “Young man, would you please take this young lady to dance? She disobeyed my orders to go enjoy herself for one song after helping me with this stall all afternoon.” The woman winked at you and you gaped. Luca held out his hand to you. Levi thought of himself as a collected person. He really did. He wasn’t controlling. He trusted you. What he didn’t trust were sharp tongue nobles who clearly had a history with you by the way you were reacting. “You heard your boss, Y/N. The flowers won’t miss you for one dance.” Luca’s sweet lopsided grin and the innocent insistence of the shop owner urged you to reach out to take his hand. “Fine, one dance.” You said with a growing smile of your own. You felt bad about leaving your post, but your legs had been itching to dance all afternoon. And it might be fun to catch up with Luca. You glanced over towards the one who you would rather be side stepping around the cobblestone with, only he wasn’t at his booth. But when you stepped around the corner and reached out for the hand extended to you, another found its way to wrap at your side. “Ah, Levi-” You noted in surprise, but didn’t fight the tender hand at your waist. It was an unusually bold statement for him, his close proximity catching you off guard. “Are you another friend of Y/N?” Luca asked with a candied voice that made Levi’s organs want to shrivel up. He stared at him for a moment, while you waited in anticipation for his answer. Your heart excitedly beat against your chest and his fingers twitched against your hip. “The boyfriend actually.” His voice dripped with a supple bitterness that made Luca’s eyebrows shoot up. You regarded Levi with your mouth agape; his cheeks were blushed a soft red and his lips were raw from toying with them. He looked utterly adorable. “I see. It was nice catching up with you, Y/N.” He gave you an understanding smile and backed off. You said your goodbyes and turned to Levi. “Well does my boyfriend want to dance with me, then?” You teased. Your heart was fluttering viciously at his use of the word. Levi felt the curve of your waist under his palm, saw the love that swirled in your irises, and basked in the affection of your rosy cheeks and excited grin.  Fuck it. He wanted to experience life with you, no matter who saw or what others thought. It was time to live. “One dance." He mumbled, cursing the rosy flames of affection that baked his face. You gasped when he led you into the square and began leading you in time with the music. You melted into his embrace, blowing a kiss to Erwin and Hange who were situated near the pancake booth, gawking at the two of you. “Well, Erwin, looks like we didn’t even have to exercise our other plans.” Hange sighed, leaning against his booth and grinning as more soldiers joined in dancing after seeing you two go. “Indeed. I like seeing him happy.” A genuine smile unfolded on Erwin’s lips. Hange hummed in agreement and looked over to their booth. Under the table they had stashed a box of assorted fireworks and other merriment explosives. “Well, shit, what am I going to do with these fireworks now?” They exclaimed. “I’m sure you will think of something.” Assumptions↞♞♘↠“It’s dumb.” You admitted sheepishly. Levi wasn’t dissuaded by your weak dismissal. “So? I hear dumb shit on the daily.” He countered. The two of you were having a friendly, celebratory tea break the week of your promotion to squad leader when the topic of the beginnings of your interactions casually came up. “Once I realized you were tough on me and the other cadets because you needed to be, I didn’t take it personally anymore. I guess I was just a bit distant at first because…” You trailed off, trying to place your words correctly without offending him.Levi waited patiently as the tick tocking of his office clock filled the pause in conversation. His chest clenched as he explored all possible responses you could give him. “I assumed you wouldn’t like me because of my background. That you might have thought I was pretentious.” You admitted, meeting his gaze for a brief moment before turning them downwards towards your tea cup. His stomach dropped at your confession and at the bashful way your beautiful eyes wouldn't meet his. “Why would you think I would hate you just because you grew up more well off than me?” He asked gently. His heart stung with a small tinge of offense. Not at you, but at himself. He could be quite a distant p;erson, and he knew that. But he would never want you to think he hated you. “I dunno, Petra mentioned to me how you came from the underground and I know-well I don’t know-actually how…” You said bashfully. You had never enjoyed discussions about the monetary values of your upbringing. You wanted to be known for you , not any price tag associated with you. “How vile and disgusting it is?” He added. You nodded slowly.Levi felt a prick at his pride that you once thought he would have judged you as such and would have written you off entirely. He took a generous sip of his tea and let the space between you ferment. “...That is pretty stupid.” The harsh words left his lips with a honeyed coating. You felt momentarily idiotic, but it was immediately washed away. “If anything, you’ve shown me that not all people with money are assholes.” He continued. “The underground made me who I am, just as Krolva made you how you are. It’s by chance what we’re born into. If I hated you for that then it’d be like hating you for existing.” His sincerity spanned from his words to his eyes that now regarded you with inviting tenderness. His openness gave heated kisses to your cheeks as you settled into a bittersweet silence. Your nerves had been dissipated, and Levi’s had been ignited with his increasingly unbearable feelings for you. “...And I don’t.” He added quickly, the heat of his cheeks rising with the steam of his drink.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa abba ~ A tulip that harbors a long blooming period. Layers of feathery petals extend outward and protect their hearts until they begin to open up to the sun. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Levi didn’t consider himself a particularly clingy person. If asked, you and anyone else that knew him on a more intimate level would agree. But ever since you had rejoined the conscious world a week ago, it was as if someone was constantly sewing at least one of his arms to you at any given moment. Your knock on the precipice of death had made him forget much of his previous reservations about public displays of affection. “Do you feel dizzy?” Oma questioned as she looked you over. You sighed as your eyes flitted between the three people hovering about you like motherly hens. As loving and dedicated as they were, you longed to be free from your bed and get anywhere else. To the kitchen. To feel the old chair’s cushion and the warm sunlight from the window seat. To the porch. To see the tulips and smell their familiar comfort. To the back pastures. To hear the sweet whinny of your horse and hear his heavy hoofbeats as he raced to the gate. To all of the safely nostalgic places of your childhood that weren’t torn and coated in blood. “I’m fine. Still just a bit tired is all.” You exhaled in preparation to rise up from your seated position on the side of the bed. You had changed out of your nightgown into a pair of loose, comfortable pants and a knitted sweater. Oma grabbed your crutch as you prepared to heave yourself up. To your left, Levi had one hand on your forearm and another with a guiding grasp on your shoulder. To your right, Felicia held out her arms expectantly to gently grab you as Levi lifted you. Oma was anchored in front of you, her stance alert for any sign of clumsiness. “Guys …I’m really fine.” You assured them of their overly protective smothering. “You're fine until you slip and fall on your injury.” Levi warned as worry tightened his smooth features. “Just because you’ve achieved walking to the bathroom doesn’t mean you’re ready to trot down these stairs.” Oma added in stern agreement as she passed you the crutch. Still too exhausted to put up a fight, you allowed your family to baby you all the way to the top of the staircase. There was a profound silence as your toes tingled above the first step. “I’m going to carry you.” Levi suddenly said from behind you. “Levi, if I go slowly-” You began as you tapped your foot onto the top stair. You sucked in your wince at the stretching at your side as you placed your weight down. “Let me. Please.” He insisted. His plea rushed from his lips in a honeyed tone that contradicted the worried bags under his eyes. “But your shoulder…” You began in soft defeat as your eyes flicked from his to the afflicted area. “Don’t worry about it.” He urged you to him gently with his whisper. You didn’t protest further as he leaned down to gently scoop you up; one hand supporting your rear and the other at the small of your back. With the utmost fragility he pressed you to him. You clung to his hold, wrapping your arms over his shoulders and his legs around his waist. Your head fell to his neck, nuzzling into the fabric of his shirt. You released a sigh of pleasure at the wonderful blend of his familiar scent and those of your home. With each creak of the aging wood, Levi brought you down the stairs and into the kitchen. The table by the sun-dusted window welcomed you; the plush cushion was soft against your thighs and the mug of freshly brewed tea nestled between your hands pleasantly heated your palms. Oma and Felicia clattered about the kitchen as they prepared breakfast. Levi sat adjacent from you, arm lazily hooked over the back of the chair as he reclined in his seat. He had brought with him a cup that harbored the rich aromatics of coffee. Your eyes narrowed. “You’re having coffee?” You asked him when he was mid-sip. His eyes flicked to you, licking his lips of a few leftover droplets. “Mhm. Someone’s been sucking up all of my energy lately.” His insinuation sent a pang through your chest. The beginnings of guilt were quickly washed away, however, by the lithe crescent grin he threw you over the rim of his mug. Oma snorted from the stove. “Are you referring to her or me, Levi?” She remarked slyly. “Because I will admit that I do not cut anyone a break. But no one would want me any other way.”Oma winked at you with a knowing smile as she brought you a plate of buttered toast and an egg. You had missed breakfasts like these, where harmless banter carried you through Felicia's delicious cooking.  Surrounded by Oma’s knickknacks and childhood memories. Your toes curled against the wooden panels you had bounded across on little muddy feet many years ago. “I wanna see my horse.” You said after your last mouthful of toast crumbled over your lips. Levi reached over the table and wiped the corner of the plush skin free of butter casually before you could react. You flushed as Oma regarded the two of you with loving eyes from her place at the kitchen island. “Since you can’t keep your hands off of her, Levi, when can I expect some grandchildren? You’re not getting any younger and neither am I.” Levi immediately stiffened, his limbs going into rigor mortis. You almost coughed up the gulp of milk you were working on swallowing. “Come on, Oma.” You groaned as you took in Levi’s evident mortification. “What? It’s a valid question for two committed individuals.” She shrugged with a devilish smirk. “I’d be happy to babysit.” Felicia chimed in over the running water of the sink. “On that note, I’ll be going outside now.” You declared with haste, making a subtle grabby hand at Levi in a silent request to help you up. He rose awkwardly from his seat, handing you your crutch as he came to stand beside you. Oma let out a self-pleased chuckle and pushed off of the island to disappear down the hall. “Feels like everything’s back to normal now.” Felicia commented warmly, grabbing your plate with a soft smile as she began cleaning up the remnants of breakfast. Levi reached out to you as you began to stand. You steadied yourself between the crutch and his waiting embrace. “Thanks.” You said weakly, wincing at the soreness of your torso as you stretched it. On your slow journey to the kitchen archway, your eye caught the photos on the wall. You smiled smally at the two little girls and their gigantic catch. Levi stopped you just before the front door. He dipped down, grabbed a pair of your boots that looked the most comfortable, and helped you into them. You steadied yourself between the wall and a hand on his good shoulder as you let him assist you.“How…how has it been seeing so much of her?” You asked after a moment, seeing Petra's bright smile vividly in your mind.He didn’t immediately respond, opting to finish tying your left boot before rising. He swallowed audibly and nodded his head towards the door. His expression was soft and unreadable as he wordlessly took your arm and led you out to the porch. When your hip dipped down onto the first step, you hissed as the same grinding feeling at your side from before flared up. “Want me to carry you?” He asked, a knot tying his brows in concern. “You’re determined I won’t walk more than five steps anywhere, aren’t you?” You huffed airily. “If it keeps you from making those noises, then yes.” As you regarded him, physically he was an exact doppelganger of the Levi you had seen days ago. Yet, it was as if something new was there, nestled comfortably under his skin. The way he carried himself was-the best way you could describe it-lighter. “Just hold my arm.” You said. The sweetly sentimental smell of tulips billowed through your lingering question as you took your time walking across the expanse of the front yard. “You always told me this place was a house. You left out the parlor room and all the acres.” Levi commented suddenly as you rounded the corner of the grand building in question. The pavement morphed into a neatly cobbled stone path hugged by ivory wooden fences. The ornate stable rested at the end of a grove of modest topiaries a ways down the lane. “Because we don’t think of it as anything else.” You responded matter-of-factly. Oma’s sturdy work horses grazed just on the other side of the fence, their mouths noisily grappling for the last remnant of vegetation growing between the wooden posts. They glanced up as the two of you walked past and smacked their lips in hopes of more food. “It’s…refreshing-” Levi began with, for once, a looseness in his chest. You nodded in agreement, believing he was referring to the weather. “It’s refreshing, seeing her pictures. I’ve missed seeing her face.” Levi confessed with an exhale. His eyes were fixed far off as sunspots perched on his lashes. A sad smile spread across your face, pleasantly surprised at his answer. “We were cute kids, huh?” You said and lightly nudged him. Levi hummed in agreement.“If we ever give Oma the grandchildren she wants so badly, if they take after you at least I’ll know they won’t turn out looking like gremlins.” Levi’s remark was laced with a sweetness that made your stomach summersault at the prospect of such domestic bliss. “Aw, but I wanna see a little angry Levi trying to order you around.” You giggled at the thought of an even smaller version of your lover squeaking commands at their father. “You think I’d be a pushover for our brat?” He countered with a warm look that took after the peaking daylight. Someday, you'd really want to find out. You felt liveliness enter your stride as your stallion came into view. Ever the anti-social creature, he had stationed himself in the corner of the pasture farthest away from any other horse. You gently swatted Levi’s hand that tried to reach around you to open the gate. You weren’t totally helpless, after all. He threw you a subtle stink eye as you hobbled yourself into the pasture. He leaned on the fence, boot poised on the first row ready to hurdle over if anything happened. “Puddle!” Your voice gave out a bit as you attempted to call. Levi clicked his tongue and was about to tell you off when the drumbeats of hooves against spring earth sounded in response. Puddle barreled towards you, making Levi grip the fence in preparation to intervene. To his relief, your horse stopped a safe distance away and excitedly trotted until he was nose to face with you. “Hi sweet boy.” You cooed at him, eyes brimming with salty relief that he hadn’t become a titan’s ragdoll. He nuzzled you with his velvety nose, causing you to giggle. With the most gentle headbutt Levi had ever witnessed, your horse brought himself to rest his head in your embrace. You weakly wrapped your arms around his broad face. He let you lean into him and support some of your weight. That horse was whipped for you, but Levi wouldn’t deny that he was too. “Thank you for bringing us here safely.” You whispered to him, kissing his forehead. Puddle breathed out, nostrils flaring in a calm exhale. “Did you bond with Levi while I was gone?” You asked in an affectionate tone and lightly scratched his rough cheeks. You glanced back at Levi with a wide grin. “Thank you for taking care of him, Levi. It must have been an inconvenience-” You began but Levi cut your assumption short. “It wasn’t that bad. The little shit was just as eager as me to get you here safely.” In this moment, with the sun kissing your shoulders and your pain resigned to a dull ache, you felt strangely almost grateful for the events that had transpired. If you had been uninjured, who knows when you would have gotten to have the chance to be surrounded by all of those you loved. Would Levi have gotten the chance to get to spend time with Oma? But if you hadn't been beaten down...could you really have done more? You indulged yourself in these selfish thoughts while you let the mid-morning light warm your face and your horse hold you up. When your leg began to cramp, you shuffled your crutch and used Puddle’s muscular neck to lower yourself onto the field. “I think I’m gonna sit here for a bit, okay? It’s so lovely to be outside again.” You said, squinting against the brightness towards Levi. And sit you did. You let the grass tickle your legs, Levi’s arm support your side, and Puddle’s snort rustle your outstretched hand. Your eyes closed at the pleasant sensations surrounding you and you sailed on budding flowers into the gray area between the sleeping and waking realms.  “Yo shorty! Help me out a bit. I’m letting you stay here for free, after all.” You fluttered your lashes open to see Oma leaning on the gate. The smug upturn of her wrinkled cheeks signaled she still had an arsenal of teasing left for the day. You felt Levi sigh against you and poked him in the arm. “Better listen to the boss.” You chuckled.The two of you joined Oma at her chopping block in a dirt clearing between the stable and the large barn where she stored all of her tools. You comfortably situated yourself on a log bench out of range of any rogue splinters as you watched Oma bring her axe upon the awaiting firewood. Levi’s job was to then bundle them up and place them neatly in a pile. “Now that I think-” Oma began, groaning as she thrust the axe down and precisely split the wood in relatively equal sections. “That I’ve gotten my nimble fingers-”Oma wiggled her fingers aggressively in Levi’s direction. He deadpanned her, clearly unimpressed with her theatrics. “Through the cracks in your shell, tell me another story.” She finished, slicing another block. Levi’s heart fluttered at your giggle. That strangely intimate feeling bathed his being yet again. “I’ve already told you I don’t know any stories.” Levi reminded her flatly. Your hand fiddled with some dandelions that hugged the edge of your log seat. “Bullshit.” Oma sang as her axe let out a thundering crack. “Stories, memories, life events, all the same to me.” “Oma you’re lucky, he never tells me stories.” You pouted teasingly, a wily grin catching Levi’s gaze when he turned towards you. He rolled his eyes and reached down to stack the latest batch of wood slices. “Since half of the capital already thinks I’m a nosy old hag, I wanna know who said I love you first.” Oma said with gusto, wiping glistening droplets of sweat from her brow. Levi visibly stiffened as he stood back up straight. When topics got intimate (even at times with you), his ability to articulate words began to crumble. Intimacy, love, and desire was vulnerable territory for him. They were deeply private topics that he didn’t fancy professing to those around him.“Me.” You spoke up, narrowing your eyes mischievously. “That’s my girl.” Oma declared, pride evident in her satisfactory smile. ↞♞♘↠“So you are here.” The voice you’ve grown so fond of broke the rhythmic hum of leaves riding the nocturnal wind current. Your body was melded into the thick planks of one of the many tree stands in the 3DM training course. The mock wooden fortress had been your bed for an hour or so now, a bottle of whisky cradled loosely in the crook of your elbow. Levi regarded you from the ladder of your solitary drinking party, his elbows resting along the edge of the platform. “Indeed I am. Couldn’t let something like this go to waste.” Your head rolled to face him and you mustered a small smile. You grasped the neck of the half empty bottle, holding it up above you and shaking it proudly. ↞↠↞↠↞↠ “Ho-”  Connie gaped.  “Lee-” Sasha gasped.  “Shit.” Jean said slack-jawed. You squeezed yourself through the barrier of three morons to inspect what they were so awestruck with. The dining hall was bustling upon the return of a squad who had gone on a supply survey to some of the more unused outposts. “Holy shit is right.” You uttered in surprise, the crate of amber liquid on the table sending a wave of excitement through you. “Where did they find this?” You asked in awe, picking up a bottle and examining it for yourself. “Dunno, but we better grab some before the commander comes.” Connie said lowly with a wild grin. He grabbed a bottle of his own and placed it under his shirt, causing Jean to snort at how stupidly obvious it looked. In your palms lay a bottle of the capital’s finest whiskey. Something you hadn’t tasted in ages. Something that you regularly found in your father’s liquor cabinet. “Y/N, you’re holding 3DM training today right?” Sasha asked. You nodded in affirmation and she beamed at you. “Great, grab a backpack.” She instructed, picking up another bottle and jingling it in front of you. You stashed the bag of liquor before conducting training and were joined by the trio at sunset after their respective duties of the day. When the sun had sunk beneath the pines, your drinking buddies had left you behind after much assurance that you wanted to hang back for a bit. The silence of the training course and the fuzziness of the alcohol was the perfect mixture to allow you to just exist away from your busy brain. ↞↠↞↠↞↠“Why are you drinking alone?” Levi asked evenly, perched on the ladder with just enough room to rest his forearms on the edge of the platform. Your head lolled towards the source of his voice and you produced a dazed smile. With every gulp your throat burned with the disgusting, yet welcome, singe of temporary bliss that the weightlessness of alcohol brought. The culmination of nerves, overstimulation from your promotion just over a month ago to squad leader (and the subsequent celebrations), and your ever intensifying infatuations for the very man speaking to you now had led you here for the night. You were satisfied that the alcohol was actually doing its job of quieting the usual questions that bonked around in your head.  Would you be able to live up to the expectations laid out for you by your promotion? Your superiors evidently thought so, otherwise they wouldn’t have done it. Yet, there was always a little bird perched at your shoulder, reaching into your thoughts and pecking at your confidence.  Would you ever be able to tell him how you felt? Now that you were a squad leader, a romantic relationship with Levi wouldn’t be taboo. But, did he even have the slightest passionate inclining towards you? Sure he was nice to you, but he was nice to Petra.  Why couldn’t you just have fallen for a nice village boy? You could handle being rejected by a civilian, have nothing to hide from an infatuation. It was being turned down by him that left you mortified at the prospect of even telling him. You would still be forced to work with him, forced to dine with him, forced to fight alongside him. You could escape a villager, but you would never be able to escape a comrade. If you were to introduce Levi to someone, you would feel confident in calling him your friend. No matter how many fantasies filled your waking and dreaming mind of calling him something more, you had been satisfied thus far with earning his trust and his company. Until you stopped falsely clinging to that capped happiness within you. There were many times Levi slid in next to you at dinner and listened to you chat away no matter how seemingly pointless the topic was. Many times he waited for you after training sessions, claiming he was just double checking that the equipment had been stored properly. Many times now that you upturned his lips that it was much less of a novelty to hear him laugh. There were several times he had nudged you awake in the library before a briefing, telling you not to drool on the expensive books. Several times you caught and held the embers dancing among the coals of his irises over the flames of expedition fires. Several times his rough fingertips cradled yours against the heat of the tea cup he passed over his desk to you. There was the first time he gave you a small piece to the puzzle of his innerworkings, encouraging your fondness to blossom. There was the last time he sat with you after a rough expedition, just existing in each other's spaces. All of these only made the chaotic tendrils of your blooming love tangle and knot in anxiety and uncertainty.It excited you that you had seemed to grow as close to him as your cousin, that you had chipped away enough at his walls. Yet, there was the lingering barrier of your unspoken affections that kept you from extending your embrace through the last few cracks. And so, instead of your lips on his, they found themselves yet again pushed against your bottle. “I’m basking in nature. It's supposed to be good for the soul.” You declared. You raised your arm in a grand gesture outward to the treetops above you. You may not have been slurring your words, but by the way your body was starfished out on the deck and the ungraceful thump of your arm falling back to your side signaled you had had plenty to drink. “And I’m not alone now, am I?” Your sloppy but luminous grin pulled Levi the rest of the way up the ladder. He regarded you as he passed, moving to examine the edge of the platform and then face towards the expanse of the darkened forest. “You didn’t have to come all the way up here, I’m a big girl y’know. And I’m not that drunk.” You added. It would have been convincing enough if you hadn’t coughed up your latest swig of crimson fire as it almost cascaded down the wrong pipe. Levi exhaled, painted titans scratched up by the earlier training session glaring at him through the indigo haze. "Someone needed to make sure our newest squad leader didn't throw herself to her death before she could do her job." He replied, harmless snark evident in his tone as he idly regarded the empty expanse. "Well, that would be selfish of me to leave you all to experience the horrors of war without me." You matched his sass and took advantage of residing in his blind spot to savor the extra moments your eyes got to linger on his form. He was a shard of obsidian uncut by your confessions among the greenery. His stance wasn’t held to its usual rigidity, the slump in his shoulders and his weight shifted to one side meant he was winding down from the day. But it also gave you front row viewing of the curvature of his ass accentuated by the moonlight and damn- When he turned, your looks grazed each other like the feathers of passing sparrows. Your head whipped up to stare at the lunar rays filtering through the trees, feigning interest in an invisible squirrel above you. Your floundering caused you to miss Levi’s faint smile and the petal softness of his lingering gaze. “Are you stable enough to climb down from here?” He asked. Your fingers ran along the expanse of the bottle and you pouted your lips as you pondered your condition. “Probably…but I want to stay out here longer. I was trying to count the stars but was rudely interrupted by someone.” You said dreamily, shuffling to remove a twig from under your back. “But you don’t need to babysit me if you want to head back.” Your comment led to a thick silence that weaved in between the surrounding trunks until it was cut by Levi’s curt reply. "Apparently I do." A crescent smile pushed at his cheeks when he observed you wiggle around to unsuccessfully remove a twig from under your back. "It's nice out anyway." Your heart skipped a beat at the insinuation of him staying. Your heart accelerated when he sat next to you and deftly reached under the small of your back to grab the offending stick and toss it over the side of the platform. Your uniform shirt had ridden up slightly and his hand was hot against your skin. It made you visibly shiver as you offered a meek thank you. “You know…you haven’t called me brat in awhile.” You commented, pursing your lips at your reflection in the whiskey bottle. “Don’t think that just because you’re a squad leader you aren’t exempt from that.” He huffed. “Have I graduated from idiot at least?” “No. Squad leaders can definitely be those too.” His tone held a fondness that flushed your cheeks with fresh flames. “You really are an idiot though if you plan on getting shitfaced high up in a tree where one fall could break your legs.” “I have my gear though.” You countered. “Some good that’ll do you, unattached and laying five feet from you.” He scoffed, endearment crossing his features when you patted your sides in drunken stupor and felt your harness was indeed empty. “Alright-I’ll admit that earlier me and Sasha had a drinking contest and…and I lost.” You grimaced bashfully. “Do you think that I could out drink you, Levi?” You asked. The space between your bodies manifested in palpable tingling bundles of anxious excitement that the two of you were this close, alone. “No chance.” His reply was playfully snide. “I won’t accept defeat then.” You proclaimed with a uncoordinated salute. “You aren’t going to tell on me, captain, for consuming technically stolen merchandise, right?” You quipped, mirth tiptoeing in your eyes like the starlight against the glass of your liquid courage. “It’s not insubordination if you properly discard the bottle.” Levi let out a chuckle akin to the deep hum of a bumble bee’s wing beats. It was a lovely noise that rang through your tipsy haze. “Then…want a drink?” You offered, pushing the bottle against the rough wooden planks towards his crossed legs. “No.” He countered softly, reaching out and pushing it right back to you. You looked at what handsome features of his were lit by the lantern light and they gazed right back at you in an unspoken exchange that you couldn't quite pinpoint. Your sanctuary nestled in the canopy was filled with idle chatter supplemented by the occasional drunken blunder and shot taking on your part. Levi reclined back on his forearms, relishing in your lively energy and the tranquility of the night. Until you had the urgent urge to release the alcohol that streamlined right through you. Levi had supervised your descent down the ladder until your feet safely touched the ground and carried you to a nearby bush to relieve yourself. Upon returning, you wobbled back over where Levi was examining the label on the whiskey with a scrunched nose.“You know, you’re too handsome to be alone out here. Who knows who will try to pick you up.” You were beyond the point of filtering your flirtations now, your shame flitting away as quickly as the rest of your drink had. Levi blinked up at you, taken aback by your words. Your brazen comment had turned his stomach into jelly, flipping it constantly and keeping him on edge. “Who exactly is going to pick me up all the way out here?” He asked, tentatively reaching out a hand when you tried to sit next to him. He retracted it awkwardly when you managed to plop down ungracefully at his side. Your breath reeked of booze, but by the walls you were stunning. “I dunno, a sexy titan.” “Those words never belong in the same sentence.” Levi snorted in amusement and shook his head. “You mean, you’ve never dug your gear into one of ‘em and glanced down at their ass? And then thought, damn that’s a juicy peach.” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before you started laughing hysterically. Levi side eyed your giggle fit with a smile. “What the fuck .” He chuckled airily at your obscenity. The muscles of his thigh tightened when your knee brushed dangerously close to his leg. “I’m just saying.” You threw your hands up in defense. “Hange’s been a bad influence on you.” He said and you both smiled fondly out into the inky forest. You let the sashaying trees fill the gap in conversation. “Did you know, Mr. Popular, you’re the most loved person in the whole scouting legion?” You whispered as if you were sheltering a piece of ripe gossip from any nearby woodland creatures. Levi would have returned with an unimpressed remark, but he couldn't stop focusing on how hot his shoulder felt every time you accidentally swayed into him. You whispered a garbled apology with each point of contact, and he desired so badly to still your movement and lean you against him. “Tell that to the people who are afraid of me.” You detected a hint of meekness in his tone. “I won’t lie, I used to be. Until I realized you’re not so bad.” You threw him a genuine smile that made his pulse race. “They’ll grow to appreciate your tough love, just like I did.” Levi bit the inside of his cheek and didn’t reply. On a surface level, he knew he was appreciated. But those words coming from you, no matter how under the influence you were, sent him spiraling in infatuation more than he would have liked to admit. “We’re friends right?” Your sudden question pulled him out of his thoughts. His face contorted in confusion. His chest clenched at the weakness of your voice, at the notion that you would even question his inclining towards you. “Yeah, we are.” He said. “If we weren’t, I wouldn’t be here with you right now, idiot.”He cursed himself for what must have been the thousandth time for not being able to be more forward with his affections, friendly or otherwise. In a moment of vulnerability, you fiddled with the straps of your harness. “You wanna know who thinks they love you the most?” You deftly changed the subject to something lighter. You pointed wobbly in his direction. He discretely gulped and waited for you to go on. “Oluo.”Levi let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That man is so far up your asshole, he’s practically living in it. I mean, come on, save a little of that prime real estate for others.” You mused. Through your blatant and brazen joking, a piece of Levi hoped that you were insinuating you were one of the others. He kept it in the forefront of his mind, though, that you were in fact teetering on the edge of blacking out. “That’s normal unfortunately.” He said, stiffly poking you as you swayed downwards. You sat upright at his touch as if you were inflating back into your normal posture. “He’d never love you like I do, though.” Neither you nor Levi got the chance to fully register the weight of your comment because as soon as those sugared words left your lips, a wave of nausea thrusted you towards the edge of the platform and the whiskey was given a heaving welcome back into the world. You awoke to the dichotomy of gentle fingers cascading through your hair and the feeling of a pickaxe lodged into your temple. Your skin prickled pleasantly at the touch as soft waves of wind lapped at your heated cheeks and momentarily ebbed the sharp headache away. Groaning, you wriggled to turn on to your side. In the process you became aware of two things; a second jacket was covering you and your head was laid upon something soft, yet firm. “You should be sleeping, you alcoholic.” Your eyes squinted open to find an outline of a belt in your line of sight. Your neck craned upward, bleary pupils meeting a pair of stellar swirls. Your eyes swelled with instant alertness as you realized your head had been resting across his lap. “Levi, um-” You fumbled over your words, suddenly overwhelmed with the affliction of joy and anxiety of your compromising placement. You slowly began to sit up through the pulses in your head as Levi cleared his throat. Your movements were stilled by his hands on your shoulders, giving you the extra guidance to sit up on your own. “Don’t overexert yourself.” He chided. If you had not known it was him, you would have sworn that voice belonged to someone else. It wasn’t sharpened to its usual edge, instead dulled by an awkward timidity that had never graced your ears. Partially stunned by his newfound gentleness, you managed to muster the courage to look at him. You weren’t sure if the lantern light dancing off the apples of his cheeks was the cause of their redness or if he was actually blushing. “How are you feeling? You drank that bottle by yourself.” Levi asked. “Then puked it back up.”His words made bile crawl up your throat as you thought about the devil drink you had consumed. You pinched your temple at the thought, like somehow the pressure would magically stop the throbbing. “Oh walls , I’m such a mess.” You groaned, your embarrassment pulsing in rhythm with your head. “Shit, Levi. I’m sorry…that was unprofessional. I’ve just been excited about the few missions I've been on as squad leader and then they found the whiskey and I started drinking too much because I’ve been overly nervous lately and I just want things to go smoothly so that Erwin and the others don’t regret their decision to promote me-”“Stop.” He shushed your ashamed rambling. “You would only need to be sorry if you puked on me.” You let out a nervous laugh, impressed and touched by how he continued to remain unphased by your clearly burdensome actions. “And you don’t have to be professional if it's just us. Just be able to function enough not to fall out of the tree.” You just nodded, internally attempting to quell the hummingbird wings that fluttered at your smitten heart. “How do you feel?” He pressed again. “I don’t feel drunk anymore, just feel like shit. My head really hurts.” You contorted your face as another wave of pain dashed across your scalp. Levi was watching you carefully; how you winced and where your fingers prodded at your skin. He paused for a few moments, noting how you rubbed your temple with closed eyes. “...Lay back down.” He spoke up, the same silken tone emanating outwards. You opened your eyes, biting your lip in sheepish conviction. You nodded once and shuffled back down. Levi’s hands were tense, but his action was delicate as he laid you into your original waking position. “Here?” He confirmed, hesitantly placing the pads of his fingers to either side of your forehead. At your nod, he began gently massaging your temple. You sighed contently; his hands mixed with the cool night air felt angelic on your ever burning skin. “What time is it?” You wondered aloud. Truthfully, you weren’t sure if you were even awake right now. Besides one brief and painfully awkward hug, you and Levi had never really had any skin on skin contact. His sudden change in proximity, and how tenderly he touched you was sending you into sensory overload. “I’m guessing around 4:00.” His low voice sent pleasant vibrations up your spine. You hummed in acknowledgement. Each massaging movement brought on more memories of the hours prior, the kneading of skin placing them at the forefront of your mind. “Why are we like this?” You asked, coming to the realization you had blacked out. “Having an existential crisis instead of a hangover?” Levi replied, pieces of his natural cadence peaking through the previously unfamiliar tenderness. “No I mean-” You gestured between the two of you. “You fell asleep.” His answer was quickly delivered. “...and I wanted to make sure you didn’t roll yourself off the platform.” You didn’t respond as you let his answer dissolve into starlight. Those peaceful constellations remained quietly dormant for some time, until Levi’s next words hurtled a meteor straight through them. “Do you remember what you said earlier?”There it was again. That decadent tone, one absent of any condescending connotations. It sweetly burned your nerves as your brow scrunched in thought. “Um, I remember talking shit about some of our superiors, which by the way I’d like to keep off the record.” You began, cringing at the absolute nonsense your drunken body could spew. “And?” He urged, his fingers minorly faltering in their circular motions. “I remember mentioning Oluo and how he…” Oh.OH. Your eyes widened comically in horror. “Oh no. ” You gasped, abruptly shooting up from Levi’s lap. You were boiling now and felt like you actually might throw up whatever little was left in your stomach. Your mind did laps around your stupidly loose tongue. “Levi I’m so sorry, that was going too far-”“Did you mean it?” His voice was a whisper, laced with vulnerability. He kept his eyes fixed on his now empty palms. Others were usually the ones to avert their gaze under Levi’s unwavering aura, and the fact he couldn’t bring himself to look at you made your stomach drop.You stared at him, staring at his hands, while you contemplated what you would say to clean up your messy mistake you had vomited up along with the liquor. In the absence of an answer, Levi finally raised his head and regarded you with a captivating intensity that brought the words right out of your mouth. You couldn't run from it any longer. “Yes. I really didn’t want to tell you that way…or if I was ever going to tell you any-” “Why not?” He interjected. The stoic pillar that outwardly held him up was quivering under an outburst of emotion. “Huh?”“Why not…ever tell me?” The hints of hurt weaved into his question left you momentarily speechless.“I wasn’t a squad leader yet and-” You continued, flustered at being under his full attention in a way you hadn’t ever experienced before. “I just…wasn’t sure you would feel the same.” You swallowed hard. He himself hadn’t been sure if he had felt the same. Until he stopped believing the false indifference he had erected within him a while ago. There were many times that you waved at him from across the compound, your sweet smiles erasing the looks of discomfort and intimidation you had once shown. Many times he garnered such lovely snickers and giggles from you when his intolerance for humanity’s incompetence reached your ears. There were several times you had encouraged him to go into town with you and other officers on days off, enticing him with promises of secluded cafes and quiet reading spaces. He would trail behind you and Hange watching you bop happily along to the melodies of the village. Several times you had thoughtfully left freshly brewed tea at the foot of his office door when you sensed something was off with him, departing with only a knock and no desire to prod further. There was one time you had hugged him out of excitement. You immediately retracted yourself from him awkwardly when he didn’t return the gesture out of initial shock. He regretted not holding you then. There was the first time you wished him a happy birthday, melting the frost that clung to his heart and the outside of Hange’s lab. There was the last time he let you peek into his past. You returned from your brief visit with a warm smile and reassurance that those events didn’t stain his future. All of these only made the chaotic tendrils of his blooming love tangle and knot in self depreciation. In fear of forming an attachment that would be ripped from his grasp again. His silence had been temporary solace that had simultaneously eaten away at his capacity to sustain it. While you had been afraid of getting pricked, he had been afraid of getting burned. “I do.”  He inched closer. “Feel the same.” He didn’t have the words to express it beyond that. No sappy love poem. No theatrical declaration of profound infatuation. All he had was this new feeling that was taking over his senses at an alarming rate. He would have to learn to express his love to you fully. But, Ymir, by the way absolute affection radiated off your features as you regarded him, he resolved he was off to an okay start. He could come close to conveying how he felt in the way he bridged the gap between you. In the way he tenderly brought his faintly trembling hand to your heated cheek. In the way he practically melted you in the velvety adoration of his features. He exhaled shakily and leaned in. “Wait.” You gulped and hastily moved your head back. Levi felt the resistance and immediately retracted. His heart sank when he saw hesitation cross your face. “Do you really want to kiss me?” You asked, biting your lip in insecurity. He furrowed his brow in confusion. Wasn’t that obvious?“I mean, I puked earlier.” The corners of Levi’s mouth upturned into a boyish grin. His dazzling laugh stole the air right out of your lungs. “For once, I don’t give a fuck.” He breathed out. His lips were unexpectedly soft against yours, the kiss keeping you grounded to the platform as your head spun with relief and elation. The gentle touch morphed into a delicate fervor, leaving both of your chests heaving. You basked in the afterglow of your confession, your hands warily exploring the new territories of his torso. Levi shivered against your upward wandering palm. “So…if you’ve felt the same, why didn’t you ever tell me?” You flipped the question back around on him. He wanted to laugh out loud again. There were many, many reasons. Standard emotional baggage that came in a package set with insecurities and apprehensions to give his heart out to another again. Persisting cuts he didn't want to make bleed even more right now. “I felt like you wouldn’t feel the same.” He simply echoed. “Turns out we’re both idiots, huh?” You said breathily, still riding the waves of this euphoric feeling. Your heart was pumping in overdrive as your fingers were finally able to weave themselves in his silky locks. His chuckle crashed into you in a wave of bliss, an exhilarating prelude to his lips finding yours once again. ↞♞♘↠“You didn’t even say I love you.” Oma complained, tongue clicking in disappointment. You giggled at her dissatisfaction. “It was implied.” Levi groaned as he dropped more wood onto the stack. “I need proof.” She forcefully stuck her axe on the chopping block and stared at him with her hands on her hips. “Say it right now.”Levi’s eyes rolled as far back in his head as they could go. You sent him a shit eating grin.“I love you, Levi.” You called, your tone sweet enough to rot his teeth. He glared at you as you joined Oma on ganging up on him. Oma’s smile mimicked yours as she patiently waited. “I love you too.” Levi’s flat declaration fell from his lips on reddened cheeks he would absolutely blame on the “heavy” lifting of the wood.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Small Talk↞♞♘↠“You’re sitting with me.” Petra proclaimed as she hooked her arm into yours. You beamed at your cousin, as any time spent with her was precious to you. You hadn’t regularly seen each other since she was a teenager, as her frequent visits turned into sporadic presences at family gatherings once she joined the corps. “Oh walls, I’m so glad you were selected too.” You sighed in relief as Petra led you through the lobby of the courthouse. You had been drafted for jury duty for an insubordination case. And of all days it had to be on your day off. The least your higher ups could have done is let you miss your early 3DM training tomorrow. You had looked like a headless chicken wandering through the lobby-as none of the other cadets present were familiar faces-until Petra had found you and guided you towards the courtroom with seasonal expertise. “Sadly we both are going to be forced to sit here for the next few hours.” Petra sighed as she led you through an empty row of the polished wooden bleachers. You scooched your way to the end of your row and settled into your seat. The room smelled overwhelmingly of varnish and cologne. Petra had garnered a chuckle out of you with her latest story about her squad’s drunken antics when a figure sat down on the other side of your cousin. She turned from you to see who it was and sent him a sweet smile. “You were summoned too, Levi? Lucky you.” She chirped in greeting. “So was Y/N.” “Unfortunately. I’m filling in for Hange.” He answered evenly, nodding towards you in acknowledgement. You nodded back awkwardly. You hadn't talked with him properly since the tea incident and the prospect of coming up with something decent to say was stressing you out more than the court case. “You’ll now see that the military isn’t as glamorous as it’s made out to be.” Petra turned to you with a playful sarcasm and a gentle pat to your thigh. “Right Captain?” You sent her a half smile as your eyes nervously wandered beyond her lap to your superior officer. He hummed in agreement, his gaze falling to a newly arrived Olou who was stopped by a military police officer at one of the glazed doors. “We’re living a desirable life between office work and getting eaten.” He replied dryly. You would have laughed like Petra did if you weren’t drowning in intimidation. You wish you weren't so set on having him like you. It would have made your seat more comfortable and your muscles less stiff. “Ugh, what’s his problem?” Petra grumbled as Olou mimed help in your direction. She rolled her eyes and rose to stand, squeezing past Levi’s knees and begrudgingly walking towards her struggling squad mate. You felt like a kid being left with their new nanny. He didn’t initiate conversation; his gaze was fixed on the people mulling about the room, one leg over the other in reserved recline. He let the silence simmer into a well braised roast while you were afraid of letting it get overcooked. You were itching to find something to say to him. “How many of these have you had to come to?” You asked. The silver of Levi’s irises flicked to you. “Enough to know they mostly end the same.” “Anything I should know? They kinda just threw me in blind.” You could hear the forced cheerfulness in your voice and you mentally cringed. “Just don’t fall asleep.” He responded, looking away from you once again. You nodded into the incoming absence of active conversation. “Are you still liking the Foxcatcher tea?” You posed another question to hopefully break the ice that was definitely very one sided on your part. “My tastes don’t change that rapidly.” He stated, as if that was the natural response to your query. He added a so yes after a pause. You smiled smally, thankful that at least he still drank what you gifted him. You fiddled with your fingers in your lap as you scanned the gradually filling room. Your eyes ended on Petra looking up at Olou, her features stern as he fumbled through paperwork. “So…” You began with an inhale. Levi inhaled as well, mentally bracing himself for more small talk. While he didn’t hate talking, he did find trivial small talk annoying at times. “Why are you and…Oowoo?” You guessed, finding that particular member’s name hard to remember. You nodded to the man in question. “Olou.” Levi corrected, curiosity written on his face at where you were going to take that question. “Yeah him. Why are you guys always twinning?” You spoke into the stiff empty space between the two of you. The way the raven haired man visibly exuded offence gave you chills. “We aren’t.” He scoffed at your harmless accusation. You pursed your lips at his swift and curt reply. He must have sensed you were going to ask something random again because he cut you off before you could even speak. “Look, if you’re going to keep rambling, save it for a later time.” He said under steely eyes. His tone was impassive and held no severity to it, but it shut you right up. His bluntness cut right through your friendly exterior and caused you to sink back into your seat. At least you tried.Mother ↞♞♘↠“Will you tell me about your mother?” Levi’s request was just as soft against your skin as the sheets you bundled yourself in. You appreciated the plush lining of his question as opposed to his common brashness. You hadn’t been together that long, but with your affections growing deeper by the day, you felt like it was time to open up. For if you couldn’t, you couldn’t expect him to in return. You released your face from its cradle of pillows and towards the man entangled against you. You almost didn't want to puncture the dreamy veil that held you two under the stillness of  a midday nap (That took a lot of convincing). You almost couldn't bring yourself to dampen the sweet way Levi's pearly cheeks peeked out from the covers and how his gaze gave you not only his undivided attention, but his entire being. “Do you want the short or long story?” You asked, propping yourself up on your elbow in preparation. “Long.” Levi said without a doubt in his mind. His hand fell to the curve of your waist, thumb running along the fabric there. You stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, giving you gentle confidence to inhale. “As you know, my father died when I was 10.” You began. “He was a lawyer whose cases were mostly dealing with elites, their scandals, their embezzlements and their tightly sealed crimes. When he was in the process of working against a government official in a particularly taboo case…he was killed by organized crime. His death wasn’t the accident it was made out to be in Mitras. Oma has made sure I’ve always been aware of that.” You had closure with your father. While it was unbearably hard to navigate life without him, at least you knew some aspects of what had happened. With your mother it was completely different. “His death was obviously detrimental to my family. We all dealt with it in different ways. Oma overworked herself and became more active in military events. She decided if there was anything she could do, even minorly, to challenge the corruption that took her son from her…she would.” You recalled how Oma would come in every evening from the fields, her body hunched as it tried to cope with her strenuous work. She would serve you hot cocoa with fingertips bloodied from reopened and overstimulated scabs. She would kiss your forehead with lips worn from biting back tears and holding in her grief. “I think I tried to disassociate myself from it. I left school for months and bounced from childish distraction to distraction. But mom-” You swallowed as you dipped your toes in a particularly lonely part of your life. “I watched as she slowly deteriorated.” Coming from a relatively well-off family, your mother didn’t have a job to worry about neglecting as she sank into her sadness. The two of you grieved together, her abundant embraces never fading as her mind drifted elsewhere. Her honeyed disposition never souring, just developing a glassy tanginess that you couldn’t quite comprehend. “She was always affectionate but she became even more so after his death. But it wasn’t her usual affections, she grew clingy in almost a paranoid way. Which I didn’t mind, I needed her at that time and she was always there. That was until she started leaving for Mitras.” “She would go and be gone for days at a time, leaving me with Oma. She would always come back from these trips , apologizing profusely to me for being gone and showering me with expensive gifts. When Oma pressed her for the reason for her disappearances she’d always say she was meeting connections, seeing friends.”“Her trips got longer as time went on, and I got more confused as to why she kept leaving us. Oma was quick to dispel any thought that I had somehow pushed her away despite our apparent closeness.” Levi watched intently as your eyes glazed over with re-opened emotion. His hand rubbed delicate strokes along the expanse of your arm. “Oma would invite Jean or Petra to spend a week at a time at our house to keep me happy.” You smiled sadly at the bittersweet memories. “One night, I woke up to a heated argument between mom and Oma. I listened from the porch as they screamed at each other in the front yard. Apparently mom had confessed to Oma where she had been going this entire time and what her plan was that night.” “Turns out during all of those trips to Mitras she had been inducted into the Church of the Walls. While mom thought she was receiving salvation, they were just sapping what was left of her sanity and capitalizing on her grief. She would stay at the monastery for weeks at a time, only coming home to see me and collect bits of her savings.” “Being a widow, she inherited my parents’ shared wealth. She gave it all to the church to-” You dryly scoffed, a stark contrast to your wet eyes. “What I can only guess is to fund their shady dealings and political agendas.”Levi continued to listen intently. His gaze was unwavering, yet his fingers threaded through yours when he felt them fidgeting. “When she would hold me at night, right before bed, she would talk to me about the church. She phrased it in a way that made them sound so idealized, so far away from regular society it almost seemed too good to be true. So, being a kid, I just passed it off as strange bedtime stories. Little did I know she was in so deep.” “Apparently the argument that night had been sparked by my mom trying to convince Oma to bring me and come with her to live at the monastery. Oma called her reasoning cult nonsense and immediately refused, unsurprisingly. When mom noticed me standing there…she tried to physically take me to the carriage she had already prepared.” 
“She’s my baby, not yours! I know what’s best for her!” Your mother cried, roughly bringing you into her feverish embrace. A concoction of anger and hurt knotted along Oma’s brow.

“Mina, you’re not thinking clearly and you haven’t been for a long time. It’s unfair to take her away from her life here. You’re not even giving her a choice!” Oma’s voice started out evenly, but she lost her composure when she locked eyes with your terrified expression. 
Levi sensed you were trying to hold out on crying by the way your lip quivered and the way your gaze brushed past him, fixing on the sun rays filtering through the partially drawn curtain. Your scream echoed through your memory as you saw yourself roughly passed between your grandmother and mother as Oma swiftly attempted to yank you from your mother’s grasp. Your mother’s wet tears against your cheek and her crazed, grappling hands were the last fleeting touches she parted on you. Oma cradled you to her chest, your tear-streaked form too confused to fight back, as she tried to talk your mother down. She couldn’t bear the thought of you losing two parents at once, but she wasn’t about to blindly let you go. Your life was here, not locked away in the interior. “Oma finally grabbed me and my mother eventually gave up. I remember mom looking so…hurt. Like we were the ones abandoning her, not the other way around. Oma tried reasoning with her, but it didn’t work. She had already made up her mind.” Oma held onto you like her life depended on it as your mother threw a fit, crying into the night air and then driving away. “Have you seen her since?” Levi spoke up, his thumb coming to caress the wetness that pooled at the rims of your eyes. “A couple times at galas where the church was present. The first time-I think I was 13-she again tried to convince me to come live with her, which ended in Oma finding me crying in the palace garden for the rest of the night.” You sniffled, gratefully leaning into Levi’s affectionate touch. “The other times were only from across the room.”“Oma did her best to steer her away from the path she took, but eventually she gave up trying-I don’t blame her. There’s a lot of questions I’ve never gotten answers for, and I probably never will. I’ve come to terms with that.” Levi hummed in acknowledgement. When your gaze met his finally, your lip quivered with the utter care that rested on his features. Wordlessly, he gingerly guided your body back down to the bed. He gathered you into his arms, his fingers gliding through your hair and scratching lightly at your scalp. “Thank you for telling me.” His velvety tone vibrated through your limbs and warmed your chest. “You must have felt so…discarded.” Your eyes squeezed shut at his statement and you choked out a sob. The silly self consciousness that can come with vulnerability washed over you as Levi’s loving presence worked to replace the band-aid you had just ripped off. You reached your arms around his neck and latched onto his comfort. “I feel like it shouldn’t bother me anymore, though, you know? It’s been years.” You sighed. Levi hummed again as his hand transitioned from your hair to your back. His palm painted invisible circles along the canvas of your back."The past has an annoying tendency to stick around. Just because it happened so long ago doesn't mean its still not upsetting.” He spoke into your hair. "She's missing out on the wonderful woman you've become." Your heart clenched at Levi's sincere compliment, a rare moment of decadent emotional intimacy. You hugged him tighter, your next words spoken straight into Levi's chest and sending his pulse racing. "Thank you, Levi. I love you." He slowly shifted his weight so that you were now lying atop of him; your thigh between his, stomach flush with his own, and his hands tenderly cupping your cheeks. The sweetness of his milky skin on yours forced you to look into the adoration in his eyes. "I love you too." He whispered in such a way that it made you never want to leave this bed. "Now, sleep. We still have some of our nap time left." Levi vowed to lessen that weight, and any other you picked up in the future, in any way he could.  This is Not an Art Class↞♞♘↠Another yawn lazily contorted your features as Erwin’s monotone, yet dangerously soothing voice continued to speak on. It’s one thing to listen to historical titan battle tactics for an hour, but three ? Your brain was starting to churn into butter with all the information being thrown at you. Your gaze floated from the chalkboard, to your fresh-faced fellow cadets in the front row, to the two senior officers sitting on the sidelines. Levi and Mike sat with their arms crossed over their chest, casually listening to their commander. You wondered if they were just as bored as you were. You felt a poke at your elbow and you looked over to your neighbor. Jean slid you a folded piece of paper while giving you a sly side eye. You glared at him with a mixture of amusement and suspicion. After your fingers had quietly unfolded the crinkled paper, your face shriveled up to stifle the sudden burst of laughter that overcame you. Good thing you were sitting near the back, or you would have definitely caught your seniors’ attention. You glanced back up to Jean only to see two other heads looking your way. Sasha and Connie had stupidly proud grins on their faces as they silently urged you to look at the paper once more. On the desk in front of you lay a drawing of Captain Levi, his features labeled by each artist that had added them. Connie had laid down the bare bones of the masterpiece; an upside down triangle with stick arms and legs and topped off with angry eyes. Sasha had artistically added a detailed replica of his haircut along with his uniform, paying extra attention to his signature cravat. Jean had crudely placed a mop in one of his hands and a blade in the other. His final touch was his tongue sticking out to match his peeved peepers. There was only one thing left to add, really.As you took hold of your pencil, three pairs of eyes eagerly watched your strokes. It took everything in them to not disturb everyone’s learning environment. Now the little vicious man had thick thighs to physically support his rigorous cleaning habits and vicious attitude. Having felt minorly rejuvenated by your little harmless drawing, you slipped it into your pocket as the class was finally nearing its end. Was it immature? Sure. Was it damn funny? Absolutely. Once Erwin had finally gotten his fill of teaching, you eagerly gathered your belongings and left your seat. “If we had to sit there any longer, I think I would have expired.” You breathed a sigh of relief as you exited the lecture hall. Jean was eager on your heels, stopping in the middle of the hall to give his limbs a languid stretch. “I’m losing feeling in my ass.” He complained. You huffed and looked at his backside.“There’s nothing there to lose.” You commented with a sly smile. “Oh, fuck off. Let’s go get lunch before training.” He groaned, smirking when he easily put you into a playful chokehold. Just as you were about to wiggle from his grip, a call made you and Jean seize up. “Vogel, Kirsctein.” Levi’s icy tone sent frosty tendrils up your bodies. You both comically swiveled to meet your accuser; Jean’s elbow still at your neck and your hands on his arm. The captain had his hand held up, your drawing unfolded and held in his grasp. 
Well…we’re absolutely fucked. 
You gaped like a goldfish, struggling to find any explanation to justify your clearly identifiable portrait. Above you, Jean was visibly sweating. “Morning cleaning duty for the next week for acting like elementary schoolers. To clarify, morning for me is 6:00 am.” He commanded, flicking his spitting image into the closest trash can. “Bring your accomplices with you as well.” He added without sparing the two of you another glance as he turned the corner of the hall. Sasha and Connie waltzed out moments later, almost bumping into the two deflated bodies clogging up the hallway.“What’d we miss?” Sasha asked when you and Jean audibly groaned in sync. Sticky, Sweet, Summertime
A glimpse into the future: In which the gangs take a well deserved break at the beginning of the age of industrialization (during the 4 year time skip). 
↞♞♘↠It was so painfully hot. The kind of hot that if you sat yourself down under the sun too long you would feel your brain melting into a continuous stream of sweat. That’s why your breath was incredibly humid against your hand as you stifled an unexpectedly loud moan when Levi’s palm dipped underneath the fabric of your exercise shorts. The little drunken demon had separated you from the rest of your friends as you trudged through the forest. Waiting for you on the other side of that tree line was a small lake you all frequented and the promise of cool water against your clammy skin. The bark of the tree dug into your palm as Levi squeezed the plushness of your hip and peppered lazy open mouth kisses on your shoulder blade. When intoxicated, Levi was a touch starved man. And that was only amplified when he was alone with you and could throw away any restraint for public decency. “Le-vi…we’re going to miss the game.” You mewled as his nimble fingers drifted dangerously close to your core. You were both drowning in the dizzying afterglow of copious amounts of alcohol. Your whole group was extremely plastered after celebrating a good work week on the railroad. You decided to spend the blistering afternoon drinking yourselves into oblivion as you all hadn’t had a chance to catch a break recently. Every day brought a new sucker punch of culture shock and information overload about the outside world that Yelena and Onyankapon fed you. Your sheltered existence waned with each new track you laid. I mean, fuck, this morning you had found out that lions weren’t extinct and in fact still existed beyond the pages of your fairytales. “You’re…” Levi let out an unfiltered, lewd moan, half from the pleasant grogginess and half from the way your backside softly grinded against him. “Being unfair.”Your scoff morphed into a squeal of pleasure as Levi’s fingers reached their target destination. You were quickly overheating from the combined sweat trapped between your shirt, your back, and his chest, his sloppily sensual movements, and the weightlessness in your head. “I’m being unfair? You’re the one who started this!” You gasped, gathering your self control and running your grip along his arm to remove his hand from your pants. You swiveled so your back was now pressed into the tree. The sight before you was truly intoxicating, no pun intended. Sweat clung to Levi’s exposed skin and stuck to his defined musculature beneath his tank top. His gaze was dazed and hungry in a way that both resembled satisfaction and absolute craving. Your breasts were heaving with exasperation, the outline of your bra visible through the thin, moist fabric. Levi’s gaze was a magnet to them as you tried to scold him.“You were stripping.” He said matter-of-factly, the simple action of exposing any semblance of your heated skin pushing him over the edge of public decency. You, had in fact, stripped for a bit to remove the slick layer of cloth from your torso as you basked in the bath of your liquor and the afternoon sun. His fingers were wet from your wetness as they snaked up your torso. You took his wandering hands in yours before they could reach your chest. His lashes fluttered upward in a scowl when you intertwined your fingers with his and spun. The action caught him by surprise and in his alcoholic disorientation you successfully pinned him to the tree. With liquid courage still brewing within you, you boldly raised your connected arms above your heads. He swallowed any complaint he could have uttered when your knee slithered its way between his thighs, adding pressure to the growing tightness of his trousers. You leaned in, your lips mere centimeters from his. “A little sexual tension won’t hurt.” You purred into his ragged puffs of breath. Your lips dipped down, much to his disappointment, to bestow his jawline with a languid and tender kiss. You pulled away with a devilish smile at his obvious frustration. “And you call me the evil one.” Levi exhaled steamy wisps of annoyance. You giggled, blood rushing to your head as your knees caressed the pine needles of the forest floor. “Not evil enough to realize I can’t let you go back to everyone like this.” Your tongue ran over the expanse of your parted lips as you palmed his crotch. “But you owe me for making us late.” Levi uttered an of course, as his eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. ↞↠↞↠↞↠Thankfully, everyone wasn’t sober enough to care about your minor absence as you and Levi emerged out of the tree line. Jean, Eren, and Sasha were already swimming about the lake. Armin was wobblily running after Connie who was cackling, holding a poor turtle above his head that he had plucked from a piece of driftwood along the shore. Hange was seated next to Mikasa at the nearest picnic table and was saying something to make the girl question her commander's sanity as she politely listened on. “Ah, the lovebirds finally decided to join us.” Hange called from their spot sprawled out on the wood with a wry smile. “Hope everything was at most PG-13 because I’m going to have to touch you Levi.” They turned to acknowledge your hastily smoothed hair and Levi’s splayed hand at the small of your back. The two of you swayed into each other before accompanying your friends at the table. The modest lake was a public space, though you were thankful that no strangers were seated among the few tables and benches to witness your group’s antics. “Unfortunately.” He grumbled, mimicking Hange’s position next to them, gratefully leaning back into the shade the overhanging trees provided. Mikasa, perched on the table itself, asked sweetly if you wanted your hair braided a bit to be pulled from your face. You gratefully accepted and she began her work. Hange was eyeing Levi’s ear with mischief as his pupils kissed the inside of his eyelids. They puffed their cheeks to keep themselves from letting out a self indulged laugh as they wet their finger in their mouth and inched it slowly towards him. With the slivers of palpable concentration they had left, they slipped it right in. To their delight, they immediately garnered a gravelly yelp from the man.“You have some nerve touching me with that filthy finger.” Levi seethed in friendly annoyance. His palm engulfed their face, with enough intentional softness to not totally knock them off the table, he roughly pushed them away from him. He was left wallowing in disgust, using his shirt to wipe away the wet willy while Hange and you erupted into a fit of laughter. As you relished in Mikasa’s delicate tugs, your shin brushed against glass, causing the empty bottle to fall into the plush grass. You averted your eyes from the water down to the ground; vessels depleted of carefree energy were littered about your feet. You realized just how much your friends had continued to drink during your forest excursion. Earlier at HQ, not even your more reserved friends had been safe from the ever flowing river of intoxication you and Hange had spearheaded. The idiot trio and Eren had unsurprisingly kickstarted the session hard. What did surprise you, though, was how heavily Levi went in as he usually took his time with alcohol. Mikasa and Armin paced themselves well, although Mikasa was able to consume more alcohol at once than her blonde best friend. A few hours in though, Armin was giggling like a lovestruck squirrel and Mikasa was poking her muscles in nonsensical confusion. Hange and you were on the same wavelength; within three shots you were dancing on each other to Connie’s horrible rendition of a popular song and Sasha’s accompanying violin imitation. Soon Jean joined in, making you the meat of a gyrating sandwich. You tried to get Levi to join, only be dodged swiftly as he poured himself another drink. Your final victim, Armin, screeched in feigned terror as the three of you wiggled over him.  You had been extremely butthurt that you had lost an arm wrestling match to Eren, only to cackle when Mikasa easily beat him in your stead. You just wouldn’t give up in a silly heated argument with Armin. He had to grip your shoulders and hold in his garbled laughs as you got worked up over your firm belief that the famed Marleyan iron horses must have little animals running around in their gears to power them. Levi was alarmingly skilled at beer pong, which was bad news for his opponent, Armin, who was alarmingly bad. Sasha had boldly taken a body shot off of Jean. And then Connie. And then you. Once you had gotten Levi loose enough to lose his some of his inhibitions you had managed to get him to do one off of you too. The openly sensual experience was one that wouldn’t leave the forefront of your mind for awhile, you reckoned. You couldn’t have asked for a better day. Not wanting to fall down from the foggy high you were on, your hand gravitated to one of the half full bottles on the table. As your fingers encircled it, you felt the warmth of another hand. Slowly craning your neck as to not disturb Mikasa, Levi met your eyes with a lazy smile. “Only a few more sips.” He knowingly instructed, the grays of his eyes sparkling under the sunspots that filtered through the shade. “Promise me.” You blew a raspberry in his direction but agreed, knowing you wouldn’t be able to handle much more. The way he was propped up on his elbows, his muscles devoid of their usual chronic tension, made you want to drink him instead. Yet you settled for the potent liquid and took a hearty swig as Hange rattled off the teams they had established earlier. In the early hours of your drinking, Hange had thoughtfully, skillfully, and strategically designated the teams for your game of chicken fight. They argued they were the only one truly fit for such a task. They were commander now after all. Their designations were as followed: Jean and Connie, Eren and Mikasa, you and Sasha, Levi and themselves. Armin was going to tag team with Eren and Mikasa, however, the poor boy designated himself as the referee and score keeper once you all had reached the lake knowing he would puke all over the nearest person if he was forced to roll around in the water. Once Mikasa had finished putting your hair up, you thanked her and raised yourself from the table and walked into the grass. “Ready to kick some ass, Y/N?!” Sasha's holler followed a loud splashing as she bolted towards you. She grabbed your torso and haphazardly spun you around happily, the secondhand coolness from her swim feeling heavenly against your form. “Hell yeah!” You laughed into her soaked cheek, clinging onto her shoulders for dear life. Once you had been returned to the ground you became acutely aware of that you were one of the only ones still fully clothed. Sasha, Jean, and Eren were already as bare as common decency would allow. Eren’s growing locks were slick against his neck, droplets falling from the ends of chocolate tresses onto his tanned back. Jean’s shorts clung low on his hips where the lake water tried to drag him back into its refreshing embrace as he waded into the shallows. Sasha was clad in shorts and a sports bra which showcased her lightly freckled arms toned from years of archery. “Fuck you, I’ve got the tallest bitch.” Connie slandered your team, coughing like he punctured a lung after exercising with his reptilian friend. In a split second, his shirt was discarded and dramatically kicked two feet away. Jean sent him a confident smirk as his teammate waded into the water next to him. “Yeah but, Jean, you’ll have a gnome on your shoulders.” Eren jested, his eyes wandering from the two boys to Mikasa, her shirt halfway above her head as she discarded it. His dilated pupils lingered on her defined torso for a moment before averting his gaze back to the rest of you nonchalantly. Disliking the way your own shirt was glued to the expanse of your back, you untangled yourself from Sasha and pulled it off. The damp top hit the picnic table with purpose as your now exposed skin screamed in happiness at its absence. The air hung thick with the planty humidity and if it had just been you and Levi you would have eagerly opted for no clothing at all. Hange had their arm draped lazily over Levi’s shoulders, their white shirt casually unbuttoned down their chest as the fabric billowed weightlessly on the breeze. Levi stood under their weight as they excitedly began reminding everyone of the rules. You caught the hunger that radiated off of him, still not satisfied from your quick dip in bliss, as he watched your fingers adjust your clothing so you were comfortable for the competition. The sickeningly innocent smile you threw at him was engulfed by a hard swallow when he removed Hange’s limp arm. His fingers moved with intentional leisure and hooked under the hem of his tank top. The fabric rode up and up and up at the pace of a snail, tantalizingly slowly revealing more and more of his figure in your direction. The way the sweat collected across his shoulders and across the breadth of his abs made him almost glisten against the afternoon sun. While the weather made him feel uncomfortably sticky, his condition made you want to jump him and he knew it. “Eyes up here.” He said lowly as he noticed you zoning out. Smugness tugged at the corners of his lips as your cheeks heated up against more than just sunburn.  “Alright; Jean and Connie vs Eren and Mikasa first!” Armin declared with a little hiccup. He pinched the cloth of his shirt to fan his chest as he joined you all at the shaded picnic table. You wrapped an arm over Sasha as you giddily awaited the commencement of the game. The opening match wasn’t over as quickly as one would presume. Jean had an iron grip on Connie’s thighs despite the way the alcohol made him quiver like a timbering tree. This helped Connie’s slaps to Mikasa’s shoulders be somewhat effective. Despite her clouded state, her reflexes were still as sharp as ever, and after about a minute of flailing, she had punched Connie out of the stratosphere. He flew backwards and caused Jean to keel over, the two of them harmonizing their screams until they were submerged in the lake. The shore erupted in a shared boisterous amusement that disturbed a few ducks brave enough to venture close to them.“Second match: Levi and Hange ag-” Armin called, groaning when Eren approached him from behind and leaned all of his weight on the smaller boy. Eren snickered as Armin failed to shake him off. “Ugh-against Sasha and Y/N!” Your toes sunk into the damp earth as you walked towards the water. You swung your arms limply as you rotated your torso in an attempt to stretch.Two large stones and a patch of dandelions over, Hange had entered the lake and squatted down in front of Levi expectantly. Their determined gaze was transfixed in the distance as they sent their arms backwards ready to grasp their partner. Their eyebrows furrowed in confusion when skin didn’t meet skin. “Come on, short stacks.” They sang, bouncing their legs and subsequently their butt in his direction. He let out a long sigh. “Why can’t you get on my shoulders?” He asked, swatting their groping hand away. Hange whipped their head around to see the ghosting of a pout he hid with as stern of a glare he could muster in this state. “Becauseee, it makes more sense balance wise that the fun sized teammate goes on top.” They teased. Levi looked like he was about to power drill his heel right into their very unprotected ass as you took in their endearing interaction with fondness. “Come on, Vivi, let someone else carry you for once!” You drawled. Your sweet simper momentarily erased any grumpiness in his system and planted his insides with blooming tulips. “You’re like the icing on top of my cake. The misshapen head of my poorly made snowman. The bright, luminous light to my rusty streetlamp. The-” Hange proclaimed with theatrical love laced in their voice. “Alright, alright I get it. You’re obsessed with me.” Levi grinned, resigning to loosen up more. The golden halo around your figure and the potency of the drink sinking his usual aloofness down to the lake bed. “Isn’t everyone?” They retorted, gasping when their shoulder blades flexed against the pressure of his weight. When he was securely seated on their shoulders, they slowly straightened up, slapping his thighs in excitement. Levi wiggled in place to adjust himself and you had to swallow your giddy smile because…dare you said it…
He looked absolutely adorable with his hands resting on their head and the way his neck craned sideways in intoxicated laziness. 
“Bitch number 2, come help me up.” You playfully commanded, realizing you still needed to hop on your teammate. The crisp water lapped at your thighs as you waded in. One stern hand was at your hip and the other pointed at the tallest boy in your group. Jean’s head lulled to the side as he reclined back on grassy elbows, relishing in the lack of weight from chaotic Connie. “Why am I number 2?” He asked, sighing in resignation and sauntering over to you. “Well-” You began, clearing your throat dramatically. “Levi is number one, for obvious reasons.” You sent a wink towards the raven haired man, causing his eyes to crinkle in amusement. “Jean, you’re 2 because we have history and I know all of your weaknesses from decades of skilled observation.” You smirked as he came to stand next to you. The lanky boy didn’t answer, instead opting to lean down and shake his wet hair all over you. You squeaked as droplets torpedoed into your eyes. “You asshole !” You gasped, your words infinitely harsher than your upbeat tone. You dipped your hands into the water and sent a wave flying upward, giving him a taste of his own tepid medicine. His face morphed with an impish glaze as he counterattacked with much more force. Sasha was caught in the crossfire and she cried out in protest.“Guys! We can splash each other to our heart’s content later . Right now we need to challenge authority!” She professed over the wall of water and limbs. Settling down, you took Jean’s hands in your own as Sasha bent down to accommodate you. “Connie-” You began after your first wobbly attempt to get on her shoulders. You ended up crescent kicking right over her head. “You’re number 3 because you’re easily bribed.” Sasha cackled as Connie let out a whiney hey . But he beamed nonetheless. Finally safely on her shoulders, Sasha held onto your thighs tightly as she lined up with your opponents. “And that’s it. Sasha and Armin are too precious.” You cooed, smoothing stray hairs out of the brunette’s forehead. She hummed at your touch and Armin blushed from shore. “Hange is my queen-” You locked eyes with them and bowed your head as evenly as you could muster. Hange laughed, taking their hand off of Levi’s leg to blow you an overly staged kiss. “And Mika and Eren are too worthy of opponents to insult.” You saluted the two, Eren returning the gesture with a broad grin and Mikasa giving you a smile as gentle as the clovers that peppered the grass she sat upon. “Ready to lose, ladies?” Hange confidently asked, the rich sienna of their eyes dancing with the bright speckles of daylight. “Never! I’ve gone against plenty of your commands.” You quipped back, frivolously dividing Sasha’s hair into two makeshift reins. “And where does that usually get you?” Levi almost purred with a sloppy grin, the grays of his eyes all but devoured by charcoal. His outward innuendo sent a wave of ooooooos through the audience and your partners. You narrowed your eyes, visually poking at his taunt as you tried to not let his forward comment cloud your judgement. Back and forth you went, catching each other’s wrists and fiery looks that no lake water could douse. It was all going swimmingly until Levi’s palm hit your shoulder in such a way that it rotated your torso, throwing you off balance. Your thighs tightened instinctively around Sasha’s neck as your body anticipated your impending fall. She let out a croak as you held her in an accidental chokehold that brought her staggering down with you. The two of you pancaked into the water in a heap of limbs and shrieks. Levi immediately dismounted Hange in a swiftly executed backwards slide once he saw the two of you emerge from the lake. Sasha whined in disappointment as Hange displayed their victory through intense flexes of their biceps. You floated to the surface on your back, the cool liquid enveloping you in a divine protection from the clamminess of the air. You kept your eyes closed in bliss until you felt who you assumed was Levi touch your arm and gather you into his hold. “Are you alrigh-” He started but was interrupted by your drunken dramatics. Your loud sigh drowned out the rest of his sentence. “Ack! I have been mortally wounded by the love of my life~” You roared in despair; squinting your eyes as invisible tears rolled down your cheeks. Levi scoffed at your claim. With your eyes closed, you missed the mischievous glint in his eyes. You did, however, feel the playful bounce he gave you before dropping you back into the water. “Y/N noooooo~” Connie cried, voice cracking in overly acted anguish. “She was so young and full of life!” Sasha sobbed, egging your drama on. You cracked one of your eyes open to peep at the man still hovering over you. The electricity that normally flowed between the two of you was charged with unequivocable happiness as your friends drunkenly jeered. “I can’t believe we lost her this way.” Jean choked out, his fist coming to his mouth. “The ultimate betrayal~” Eren booed, clasping his hands over his mouth for added effect. “Perhaps…a passionate kiss…could…” You generated an overtly fake cough. “Could save me from the underworld…” You puckered your lips expectantly and Levi couldn’t help the affection that creeped up his features at your cute antics. “If you don’t try to save her, I’ll never forgive you shorty!” Hange screeched in distress, grabbing onto Armin and shaking his shoulders. The way you regarded him dazed and blissed out and how the water delicately lapped at the swell of your breasts had him gravitating downwards. For he was always in your orbit, no matter if you were in the presence of others or under the influence. His lips met yours in a cocktail of whiskey and ale that kickstarted your heart with the vigor you had held under the canopy earlier. Levi pulled away slowly, whisps of obsidian tickling your forehead as he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you from your so called watery grave. You would have willingly let the lake dissolve the two of you if Armin hadn’t declared the final match. “Go annihilate those two in my honor.” You whispered, cradling his cheek and giving his parted lips a wet caress with your thumb. Your touch left a sweet smile in its wake that didn’t fade even after he reluctantly let you waddle back to shore. Eren has incessantly asked Mikasa if he could be on her shoulders for this round. She happily agreed and regarded Levi with sly anticipation as they lined up for the last time. “Come on old man.” Eren teased smugly, rolling his broad shoulders and assuming his ready position. “You’ve taught us a lot of what we know, but have you gotten stale yet?” “Maybe my fist will slip and land where my boot did back then.” Levi countered darkly, his smirk betraying the presence of any malice. You watched from under Jean’s arm as the two exchanged blows and balmy puffs of breathy laughter until a resounding splash revealed the winners. Hange stood shocked at how unexpectedly Levi had slipped from their shoulders, their hands hovering in the air where his legs had filled the space. Eren was whooping about redeeming his dignity after all these years and beaming so feriously his cheeks looked ready to burst. Miksasa was caught in his elated aura, giggling as he picked her up into a crushing hug. When they separated, a lingering rosy dusting was left on both of their faces. Levi regarded his loss with anything but bitterness as he pleasantly glided through the water. If this next chapter of his life was gilded with sloppy smiles, the freedom to submerge yourselves in nothing but each other’s presences and the simple relief of a swim on a hot afternoon-Levi thought he could finally, truly, look forward to living.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Tulipa tarda -  A tulip who takes its time to rise from the soil, blooming later than many of its cousins. It is a hardy sort that thrives in extreme conditions, naturalizing quickly into its garden.↞↠↞↠↞↠Two more weeks passed with your body still aching but your heart brimming with sweet scents and even sweeter company. You spent your mornings on the porch, reading books dusted in many years of unkept promises to read them. Afternoons were spent on the arm of either Levi, Oma, or Felicia as you relearned to walk comfortably as the un-mowed tendrils of grass tickled your calves. Evenings were out in the fields or the pasture as you loved to have tea with the fireflies. And night was for moonlight through open windows that carried fresh air into your living room reminiscings. You entered Oma’s field of vision as her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit sitting room. The sot glow from the candles cradled Levi’s soundly sleeping body. The waxy pillars would flicker every so often, accentuating his limp limbs strewn neatly upon the velvety couch. His shirt hung loosely against his chest as it rose and fell in a comfortable rhythm. Your back to your grandmother, you obscured her view of the man’s face as you stood over him. Upon hearing the floor creek gently under the old woman’s shifting joints, you turned your head in her direction. “He said he was just resting his eyes.” You whispered, lips quirking upward in content as you adjusted the blanket perched over your shoulders. Oma followed your gaze downward to his serene features. His eyes didn’t dart around under the embrace of his lashes to his cheeks. His jaw lay pleasantly slack against his shoulder. “He never takes naps unless I force him.” You added fondly. The most satisfactory word you could use to describe the scene was dreamy-as if on the cusp of a fantasy. You hadn’t seen him sleep so well in a long time. “Then we should let him be.” Oma whispered against your shoulder. She snaked her arm around yours as you watched your lover’s muscles deflate of all tension. “Wanna come sit with me? You can make me some of your killer tea that he won’t stop going on about.” Oma offered and tugged gently on the corner of your blanket. You cracked out a small huff that met her fox like smile. “It’s your recipe.” You playfully countered, keeping your voice down as Oma directed you to towards the kitchen. “Every brewer adds their own touch.” She tutted once the two of you had shuffled into the vacant room. “I don’t need to take credit for everything. Well-with the exception of your beauty that I know you intertied from my side.” Your cheeks never got a rest from smiling when you were in Oma’s space. You lingered next to her when she took a seat by the window, catching your eye roll in her wrinkled delight. You puttered around the kitchen, moving this way and that in a leisurely manor that didn’t aggravate your body. “I’m sorry I haven’t been back to visit for awhile.” You suddenly apologized as you turned on the tap and watched as water filled the expanse of the kettle. You didn’t like that she was constantly alone these days. If you turned the clock back ten years, these floors were traversed by so many lively footsteps.“Now why would you be sorry about that?” She asked. You placed the kettle on the counter next to the burner and sighed. You knew she would say something like that. It didn’t help you swallow the feeling in your throat, though. Oma was surly, she was teasing, and she was brash. But when she sensed any seriousness in her loved ones, she became as soft as polished sea glass. “I just used to come back more.” You said. You pulled a match from its box with twitching fingers, lighting the burner. “You can’t really control when they let you take leave.” She said, watching the light of the stove illuminate your solemn expression. “I know. But being back here…it makes me miss home.” Your voice was hidden behind the puff of breath you used to blow out the match. It sizzled upon landing in the sink. Once the open flame embraced the bottom of the kettle, you turned your attention to gathering the tea leaves and spices. You felt like your limbs were acting on their own accord as you moved around the kitchen. It was a bittersweet feeling. Being back home made your mind wander to scenarios where you had stayed in Krolva. Ones where you didn’t join the corps, didn’t watch your friends die and didn’t come so close to being eaten yourself. It would have been an easier life, one where your day to day existence was compartmentalized away from any threats. Such a life would have left you content but not truly satisfied. In a brutal, but necessary way, the corps had allowed you to explore and experience the world outside of your flowery childhood. But your desire to spread your wings-and the treasures you found away from your nest-didn’t erase the bouts of longing to return to home. “Well, despite the circumstances, you’re here now.” She began, the chair creating as she shifted her weight forward to lean her forearms on the table. Leaves crunched against the pads of your fingertips as you sprinkled some into the steeper. When you didn’t hear her finish her sentence you looked over to find her looking you dead in the eyes. She gestured for you to come over. You trotted over clad in a tight lipped smile and still wrapped tightly in your blanket. She stood up from her seat and planted you down where she previously was. “I can handle myself out here, you know.” She assured you, gently reaching for your hands and holding them in her own. “I’d tell you if I couldn't.” “No you wouldn’t.” You scoffed sadly. Oma smiled down at you knowingly. “You’re too perceptive. Maybe not at first, but I would eventually.” She countered, her misty eyes brimming with truth. “Right now, all I want you to worry about is taking it easy and not ripping my impeccable stitching.” She shook your hands once in lithe emphasis. But her lips faded into a frown as a distress carved its way onto your features. You almost didn’t come home to her. She almost didn’t need to keep a bedroom ready for your eventual return. Almost didn’t have to await the letters and trinkets you sent home from your various stations. A shiver wracked your body as you suddenly recalled the feeling of the titan’s skin as you thrashed against its mouth. An insidious mixture of oil and human blood leaked from its lips that you dug your fingernails into, hanging onto the last shreds of life you held within you. The excruciating pain of your insides squashing against your hip bone wasn’t anesthetized in the slightest by adrenaline. If fear could be fermented, filtered, and purified into its finest essence that is what you believed you felt. It prickled with white hot realizations that your life would be ending in the snap of a leg, an arm, your torso. It was the panic of dying and not being able to do anything about it. The delusion of your thoughts firing in all directions as you experience your last few seconds on earth. The frustration of trying to grab the important ones to piece together a picture of his stormy eyes. The hopelessness of never being able to see the real thing again, nor the sky or cobblestones or tulips. It was a hopelessness that hyper excited all of your senses and made you lightheaded as your pants stunk of saliva and the fresh leftovers of a comrade. When you had managed to free yourself from those jaws, in the bleary seconds before you passed out, the fear lingered. The feeling caught you in a bed of brambles as your eyes struggled to fight the incoming nothingness. If death was supposed to be freeing, you felt incredibly cheated. That lingering-it was a feeling you were much more afraid of than the pain of your actual injury. The fear of this… fear caused thoughts of resigning from the scouts dance through your mind. You had silently brooded on this temptation from the day you had awoken. “I just…I don’t know what to think anymore. About what happened, about leaving here, about what I want to do.” Your voice teetered with mulled uncertainty. “Oh my darling Y/N.” Oma cooed sadly, watching as you attempted to sustain your emotion from overflowing. You gladly moved into her embrace when she shuffled closer to you. You pressed your wet eyes into her chest and clung to her waist as her hands embraced your head. A few tears escaped onto her shawl as she let you expel your worries onto her. One hand softly patted your shoulder while the other braided itself through your hair. She was so small in comparison to you, yet her arms always seemed to engulf you in their warmth. “You have been through more than anyone should have to, there’s no way to sugarcoat something like that. And you’ve got nothing to prove. Not to me, not to anyone.” “What if I decided to stay here?” Your voice crackled when you uttered those words of inclination. You were caught between two pains; the fear of experiencing that again, and the pain of leaving your comrades. Your other loved ones. Oma’s heart ached for you and how unfair this existence was. She understood walking the path that pulled you in opposite directions, towards two places you called home. “Then you stay here.” She said matter-of-factly. You reluctantly untangled yourself from her arms when she moved to regard you. At first you didn’t meet her eyes, your eyelashes soaked against your skin. Her statement was simple, yet held unwavering acceptance and the understanding of decades of brittle experience. Your eyes remained fixed on the veins of her hands over yours. You could hear the pressure in the kettle growing with its airy vocal warmups before it would soon cover the room with it’s shrill whistle. “I’m so incredibly proud of you, my little one.” She said as she tipped your chin up to meet her eyes. “For pulling yourself through this.” Your lips pursed into what you hoped was a convincing smile. You ached with the knowledge you always had a place to return to. Yet you ached with the guilt of the temptation of turning your back on your loved ones back at the wall. And you physically ached as you exhaled. “I know it feels like we’re living in the end of days. This is all any of us have ever known and because of that-sometimes it’s hard to imagine that anything we do could amount to any other outcomes.” You nodded lightly in agreement. “But you’re like me.” Her round cheeks pushed upwards against her grin. “Living with being complacent would have withered you away. And for that very spark that drove you to fight, your efforts have been worth it, no matter what the future brings.” In a world where so many people were unlucky, where so many horrid things happened on a daily basis, you felt so lucky to have her. Her, and Levi, and Jean, and Hange, and everyone you cared about. “Okay?” She asked with a squeeze to your shoulders. You sighed, meekly smiling through salty cheeks. “Hmm? What was that?” You huffed in resignation and nodded, tucking your hair behind your ears and giving your face a final wipe down. “Okay.” “O-kay.” She said, leaning in to kiss your cheek. She then swung your intertwined hands and arms together playfully before letting you go. You chatted for a bit longer, only stopping when the kettle interrupted you. Oma cursed under her breath and only briefly reposed from your conversation to quickly transfer it to the counter and douse the burner. She returned to you and didn’t leave your side until all of your tears dried. “And I know that boy is going to say the same things as me.” Oma commented almost as a warning as she finally served both of your beverages. She had taken the reins on finishing up the cups despite your protests. You offered a small laugh at her statement and grasped for your cup. It was a well loved vessel from your childhood and it felt pleasantly warm against your palms. You thought about how your hands used to be a fraction of their size when they first cradled the cup. “He’s a good man.” Oma’s voice kept you from zoning out. Her pupils studied the pale wisps of steam emanating from her mug. You preened at how peaceful she seemed. “I’m glad you see it now.” You replied, drowning a playful grin behind the rim of your cup. “I mostly kept my thoughts to myself because who am I to tell you who to love.” She mused. She let out a satisfied groan as she moved herself to a more comfortable position. “I didn’t think much of him at first. From afar he seemed disinterested in making connections and engaging with what was around him. Which, caused me to see him as a bit insincere.” Your chest twisted at her confession. It didn’t come as a surprise, sadly, as now you didn’t like to admit that you were also put off by him at first. Now that you knew better, it hurt you to think that anyone could have the same assumptions. “But I couldn’t have been further from the truth. You both have endured so much in your short lifetimes that you deserve this slice of happiness.” She hummed. “I know now I preemptively judged him. Military events aren’t the best time to be judging someone's character- fuck are they terribly insufferable.” “Language, Oma.” You fired back in the tone she used on you growing up. She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at you. Her attempt at garnering a laugh out of you worked as she herself did too. “My point is; I like him.” She stated with a satisfied hmph. “You better keep him around. I’ve integrated teasing him into my daily routine.” And so moments passed peacefully over exchanged chuckles and under the dusty moonlight. Being able to anchor yourself to Oma’s presence was peaceful and offered a needed repose from your anxiety. The sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen eventually filled the now comfortable silence. Levi then emerged from the hazy hallway. Tufts of his bedhead poked out of the darkness and juxtaposed the warm glow of the room. Upon entering the light, his expression soured as if he had bitten into a spoiled peach. He squinted his eyes and grunted delicately, his features recoiling like a bat to the sun. His hand burrowed underneath the fabric of his t-shirt to lazily scratch at his stomach as he still drifted along the limbo between awake and asleep. He then let out a lengthy yawn and lightly pinched his eyes between his thumb and index finger.His unguarded behavior had a smile hanging goofily from your lips while one of amusement adorned Oma’s. Once Levi’s palm had traveled the expanse of his face, his glazed eyes finally noticed on his audience. He blinked. You blinked.Oma blinked. “Sleeping beauty has awakened.” Oma said, breaking the silence with a sly grin and took a sip of tea. Levi let out a groan and threw his neck sideways, lightly knocking his head into the doorframe as he rested against the wood panel. If it had been anyone else, he would have given them the finger. So he settled on an icy glare that he hoped would freeze his embarrassment away. “Why did you let me sleep?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at you specifically. 10:16 pm. His voice carried residual gravel from his unconscious travels. You beamed at his flustered behavior. “Because you were tired?” You said with a small scoff. Even when he didn’t have to be up early he was still high strung on being awake and alert for as many hours of the day as humanly possible. He wasn’t satisfied with your answer as he pursed his lips and let out an exhale. Moments passed as he stood there in silence, staring blankly in front of him-at nothing in particular-like he was slowly computing his next course of action. “...Did you need something in the kitchen?” You asked, eyebrows shooting up in anticipation. A jolt of fondness crackled through your chest as you regarded him. He looked so blissfully disheveled as one does after getting a proper nap. “Just water.” He grumbled. When you disjointedly moved to get up from your seat, he put a hand out to stop you. “I can get it.” You nodded and readjusted yourself back into your seat. “Are you sure you don’t want some tea instead?” You asked, jangling your cup in your hand, as he shuffled to the sink. He shook his head and reached for a glass. From the back his hair was even more of a chaotic mess. It resembled the down feathers of a duckling. It was a pleasant surprise that Oma was laying it easy on her snide remarks, Levi thought as he turned on the faucet. She was unusually quiet. Perhaps he still couldn’t get a read on her. “Can you believe how far we’ve come, son? It was just yesterday you nearly soiled my dress at the capital. Now you’re using my sink.” Perhaps he was wrong. “Goodnight.” His words travelled to his audience on a blunt glare. “I’ll meet you upstairs in a bit, yeah?” You offered. He nodded once, tipping his head back and downing the glass of water in a few swallows. He placed the glass in the sink with a gentle clink and hobbled out of the room. “Goodnight son.” Oma called. Levi paused on his departure to acknowledge her with hooded eyes before disappearing into the shadows. ~~~Upon shedding hallway light into your bedroom, you found Levi (un)shockingly still awake. You exchanged small smiles under the glow of the lamps as you shuffled inside. You had managed to get your pajama pants on with a newfound ease that had you brimming with self pride. Your top, however, was still a work in progress. “Do you mind helping me into my shirt? I still can’t lift my arm up very far…” You asked sheepishly from the edge of bed. As weeks passed, you found time didn’t make it any easier to ask for help for such mundane tasks. Levi hummed and the bed creaked when he rose to help you. He stood between your legs and carefully raised your arm on your uninjured side. As he slowly maneuvered you out of your top, a ridiculous thought gnawed at you. If I don’t go back, what if he thinks I’m running away from it all?  There’s no future where Levi would leave the corps. His dead body would have to be dragged from the battlefield before he resigned. If you decided to stay back, you would become a civilian. A forlorn lover waiting patiently for his return, your thoughts clouded in fear and filled with rumors as you longed for letters and updates. You would be surrounded by safety, family-yet you would be reduced to a life of gnawing at your fingernails, itching to be with your comrades on the frontlines. You had a home here, Oma had made that clear enough, but you would be haunted by the ghosts of battle as you waited to hear of more ghosts arriving at your doorstep. Your eyes went glassy as they fixated on the fabric of his sleep shirt. You quickly dismissed the intrusive thoughts with a loving chuckle. “You’re so cute, ya’know?” You cooed. Levi backed away with your shirt and pursed his lips. His cheeks had retained some warmth and he looked the least bit happy about that. “I bet I am, looking like a groggy idiot.” He grumbled as turned his back to you to put your clothing neatly away in the top dresser drawer. “You just can’t handle that your stoic character evolution has been chipped away piece by piece over the years.” You retorted. As you sweetly regarded your beloved, the same prodding of emotion began to bubble behind your gaze. You managed to contain it, flashes of your sadness swept away with a blink. You could see Levi’s eye roll through his back as he rummaged through the drawer for your pajama shirt. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He said, pivoting around with your top in tow. With an upward tug of his lips, he delicately slid you into the cloth. “There.” He whispered and ran his palms along your shoulders. He felt their tension, and despite his urge to relieve their tightness he left his touch only a dusting against your skin. “I’ll go refill your cup with water.” You offered him a meager thank you on his way out the door. As you wallowed in the wallpaper, you did your best to lift your arm past your chest. You barely got midway up your torso when a sharp sting sent you recoiling back to your original slouched position. Hot tears of pain and frustration pressed against your eyelids. You knew you would heal, and while it was insufferable to wait for your body to catch up with your mind, there was finite amount of time until your body was physically fit again. At least that’s what you all hoped. But, there was no clear timeline for the mental trauma of your attack. No select date where the obsessive visions would stop knocking around in your skull. That is what truly scared you. You willed yourself to not cry for the second time that night. Levi’s tender touches, Oma’s tender words, and the tenderness of your body created a dichotomy within you that made you feel utterly weak.  The wooden knots on your dresser were clouded behind a trickle of tears. Then the creak of your aging floorboards garnered a hasty sniffle from you. Reaching down, you brought the hem of your shirt up to wipe your eyes with your good arm. You felt like you were already crumbling before you even had the chance to rebuild yourself. “Hey-” Your lover’s voice called to you gilded in concern. When he knelt down in front of you, his eyes held a franticness that juxtaposed his controlled movements. He placed your limp palms in his, squeezing them so you could feel him. “Are you in pain?” He asked, instinctually scanning your body for any signs of discomfort. You were always in pain these days, but you wished it was as simple as answering not any more than usual. You gulped and inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave them.” Your voice bubbled behind incoherent thoughts as more tears freely glided down your smooth cheeks. “What do you mean? I’m not leaving you.” He encouraged you to elaborate in a rushed tone that was delivered with a squeeze to your biceps. You gasped just as you had when that titan had knocked the wind from your lungs. “Y/N, breathe.” Levi instructed. His tone was even and calm, perfected from years of command. You tried your best to focus on the silvers and onyx that flowed in the molten rivulets of his irises as your chest tightened with the impending anxiety of your confession. He guided your breaths, carried your clutches to his arms, and dabbed at your wet cheeks until you spoke. “I’m scared, Levi.” Your admission came out on wobbly legs. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened. About…dying. About almost dying out there, alone.” “Sometimes I can’t close my eyes without seeing what happened to me. I can distract myself somewhat during the day, but in the quiet moments I just-”Your voice grew passionate as you expressed your frustration in having both your conscious and unconscious mind bridled by that titan. You squeezed your eyes shut in irritation at the hot rivers that pooled under them. “I’m afraid if I can’t even handle life here , that I won’t be able to fight like I used to there . I won’t be strong enough to go back to the corps and I won’t be able to help our friends, or help you. I can’t let you all down.” Levi was the strongest person you knew. He had been through so many horrors in his life and yet he always rose with the next sunrise. You had born witness to intimate moments of weakness and darkness, moments he had opened up to you and showed you fragments of his humanity he kept under lock and key. But after he would pick up stride and put himself back into the dirt and the grime and at the feet of monsters. You weren’t sure if you could come out of this like he always did. An insecure part of you didn’t want to seem weak in comparison. And whenever you thought about the scouts now, you also thought about being inside that cavern of undulating flesh. You were spiraling and Levi caught you. He carefully maneuvered your bodies onto the bed so he could be closer to you. His back against the headboard, he cradled you to his chest as you straddled his lap. You leaned into the safety of his embrace as you circled your arms around his neck. You tried to burry your head there as well, feeling shameful and tired and nauseous, but you head was held in place by two gentle palms. Levi’s heart broke at how small you seemed in his arms all of a sudden; curling into yourself and shaking. His chest clenched at your exhausted expression, obviously drained from being bombarded from these thoughts. His throat went dry at the thought of you suffering alone, battling these demons within your psyche while he sipped tea and worked in the fields. There were nights since you had awoken where you would wake up distressed, pillow wet and breath rapid. Wrapped gently in his arms you would share with him the contents of your night terrors, emotional scars left by your attack. But you would never seek out further comfort than that-masking any discomfort you felt during the waking hours with laughter and banter. “Y/N, you have been through one of the most unimaginable things a human could experience and lived. For the mere fact alone that you can find it in yourself to get out of bed, to help Oma around the house, to tease me-” He began. He broke out into a half grin when you offered a small smile at the final part of his sentence. “To smile -no matter how much this is affecting you underneath it all-is a clear sign of your strength. It doesn’t make you weak for not being able to grin and bear it all the time, and I wouldn’t ever expect you to.” Levi was a professional at compartmentalizing his grievances until you came into his life. He knew the emotional toll it continually charged and wouldn’t wish that upon anyone-especially his love. “You have this innate drive to carry on, and it shows with how much you care about living for all of us and continuing to fight for us.” Levi doused you in a raw earestness that had your muddled thoughts parting into a sliver of clearer sky. “But all I care about is that you’re here.” 
That you’re alive, that you’re breathing, and that you’ve come back to me. 
You grasped at his hands that cradled you and let his words sink in. You no longer had the urge to look away as he regarded you; a troubled look of saccharine longing to alleviate your pain. “You have no expectation to live up to, although I know you have them for yourself. You aren’t any less of the person you were before. You need to conquer this at your own pace, and I’ll be there every step of the way.” Levi continued, guiding your forehead to his lips for a sweet kiss. You let out a yelp as you soaked in his affirmations. “And nothing you could do would let me down or make me love you any less.” He refrained from calling you an idiot affectionately, although you defiantly were an idiot for thinking he would be disappointed in you for taking the time you need to recover. “You always know what to say.” You sniffled. Words wouldn’t be sufficient to let him know how thankful you were for him now. So your body settled into clinging to him as tightly as your aching side would allow. “Not too long ago you wouldn’t be saying that.” Levi scoffed lightly and you hummed against his chest. He didn't think he was even scratching the surface with what he wanted to say, with how much instant soothing he wished he could give you. But what he could do was hold you and continue to hold you as you healed. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He pressed delicately. You offered a small shrug. “I thought that if I ignored everything it would go away eventually.” You explained sheepishly. “Being awake, seeing Oma, and showing you my life here were all quick and brief fixes that took my mind off of it. I thought that after all this time, I’d be feeling more ready to leave here.” Levi made a noise of acknowledgement and wrapped his arms around your back. He rubbed reassuring circles along its expanse in a much needed moment of basking in one another. “Do you know if it’s going to rain tomorrow?” He asked after a pause. “Oma didn’t put away her plowing equipment. It could rust.” Your eyes shot open against his heartbeat at the randomness of his question. Raising your head you shot him a confused look. His features remained even, his eyes velvety against the caramel lamp light. “N-no?” You answered tentatively, finally feeling the static of your anxiety seeping from your body. “Exactly.” He said, satisfied with your response. “You don’t know how you’ll feel, how your wounds will heal, or what conditions tomorrow or any day in the future will have. So we’re going to take it a day at a time.” Your lips formed a pout that forced the grateful tears brimming your eyes to stay complacent. “Thank you, Levi. I wouldn’t be here without you.” Your words held a double meaning that had Levi gulping back emotion. You ran your fingers through his bangs, down his temple, across the apple of his cheek to his jaw-admiring your reason for living. ~~~“Are you comfortable?” Levi asked as he fiddled with the sheets. “Yes, but we left the light on.” You sighed. Levi silently moved to get up when you stopped him. “Wait-can we talk for a bit longer, I don’t feel like sleeping. If that’s alright.” You asked, inching closer to his side and peering up at him. “You’re always worth more than a full night’s sleep.”