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She drove him crazy. On the one hand, Lemon was a hopeless mess, between the workplace ineptitude and the unflattering sweatshirts. But she could always be counted on to listen, to stand up for him, and to be a true friend. Yes, Jack Donaghy loved Lemon, platonic though their relationship was, and he would do anything for her. He was even willing to do what needed to be done..."Come in, Lemon," Jack said exasperatedly as she entered his office for the fifth time that week (it was Wednesday). "What is it this time? Tracy? Jenna? Those pants?""What's wrong with my pants?""They're gay hillbilly pants, Lemon.""What? Never mind. Jack, I need your advice. I called Dennis again." She flopped onto his couch and groaned. "Why would you do that? I've warned you, Lemon, Dennis is just going to lead you down a spiraling rabbit hole-""I know, Jack, but I miss him. He makes me happy sometimes."Jack pounded his fist on the desk. "Dammit, Lemon! Dennis destroys everything I've tried to instill in you!" He paused, a thought forming. "I'm sick and tired of you just ignoring my training." She opened her mouth, but Jack went on. "You need a serious adjustment of your priorities."Lemon laughed. "You sound like an angry father. 'I'm tired of your attitude, young lady!" She wagged her finger, sticking her chest out in a bad impression. "What're you gonna do, Jack, spank me?""Yes, Lemon, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Bend over the desk."She stood up, backing toward the door. "No! You can't do that! It's wrong and probably illegal and you're my boss and-"Jack sighed. "Right now, I'm your mentor. And I know what you need." He yelled out the door, telling Jonathan to cancel his next meeting. He closed and locked the door, then quickly poured and gulped a drink. "This is much more important business to me."Liz smiled for a brief second, realizing how much Jack cared for her. Her grin was soon gone, however, as Jack grabbed her firmly by the arm and bent her over the edge of the mahogany desk. He held her there, ignoring her weak protests, as he gave his instructions. "You will hold on to the other side, and you will maintain that position for ten strokes. I had my office soundproofed three years ago, so you can scream as loud as you like.""Like hell I'll scream for you," Lemon said. "Filthy sadist.""Oh yes you will," he replied. "Probably beginning now." He reached around her doubled body and undid the button of the gay hillbilly pants. Like he had expected, Lemon shrieked. Then, she took a gasping breath and said, "Congratulations, Jack Donaghy. You are one of the five lucky men who have taken my pants off. That includes the TSA agent who thought the growth on my hip was a bomb.""If you're retreating into the defense mechanism you call humor, this problem is deeper than I thought. That means this will hurt more, I won't lie, but when it's over, you'll be an even better person." He lowered her pants, then, deciding not to comment upon the FRIDAY printed on them, her underpants. He watched her squirm for a moment and, one hand still across the small of her back, removed his belt and doubled it over, tucking the buckle carefully in his hand. He didn't want to hurt her. He drew it back, and she whipped her head around at the sound of the belt whistling through the air. "Is that your-" she shouted, interrupted by the crack of Louis Vuitton leather against her flesh. She arched upright. "Ow ow ow ow!"She danced around, frantically trying to run the sting away. Jack sniggered. "Did not count. Remain in the position." He guided her struggling body back to the desk.Liz set her teeth, understanding that she wasn't leaving until she played by Jack's rules. The second stroke landed, sending a flood of pain through every cell in her body, but she managed to hold on and accept it with only a "Holy--!"The third stroke was the same, and Jack nodded. "Nice work, Lemon." But the fourth crossed over the three red lines already glowing on her bottom. It was too much to bear, and she stood, shaking violently. But she looked him in the eye and said, "Yeah, yeah, does not count. Get it over with." She bent over of her own free will and accepted the replacement stroke, the fifth, and the sixth. Jack paused for ten seconds, which must have seemed forever to Liz. She was sobbing now, crying like a baby. He smiled. Every drop of pain he inflicted upon her drew away some deeper hurt. "Just four more, Lemon."Seven, eight, and nine were hard, rapid strokes, leaving clean red stripes over the purple bruises beginning to form. He drew his arm back one last time, landing the final stroke expertly in the crease where buttock met thigh. Something to remember. He gave her a moment to breath and said, "It's over."
She sobbed for a minute in great, Liz Lemon snorts. At last, she stood and faced Jack. "That really hurt.""Your pants, Lemon." Realizing she was naked from the waist down, she scrambled to pull her underwear on, wincing as they made contact with her sore bottom. She looked down at her pants, then over at Jack, then at the pants again. "You're right. Gay hillbilly." She kicked the jeans off and dropped them in the trashcan.Jack knew everything was forgiven. He poured drinks and sat down. Lemon tried to sit across from him, but shook her head. "I'll stand." She stood beside the sofa, red T-shirt just barely covering FRIDAY's underwear. "You'll hurt for a few days," Jack said. "I'm proud of you, Lemon. You took it well. It shows how strong you are. You are strong enough to stand up to Dennis Duffy, and you're strong enough to be my mentee.""Thank you, Jack." Her tone carried two meanings: thank you for the pep talk, and yes, thank you for the spanking.Jack nodded. Mentor and mentee stared at each other. Neither wanted to leave just yet, but neither knew what to say, either. Finally, Liz said, "So...have you done that before?""Well, in the bedroom-""Too much information." They both laughed. That concept no longer existed between them."I've whipped Kenneth three times," Jack said."Kenneth?""It was his idea. He comes in crying because he caused a paper jam, begging me to punish him. I have to preserve his dignity, don't I?""Fair enough.""You were better, though. Kenneth gives in too easily. But you, Lemon, you struggled and fought, but you submitted exactly when you knew you needed to. It was beautiful.""Gee, thanks." She rubbed her backside gingerly. Jack stood. "I hope you've learned something from this, Lemon. Two things, actually.""Say no to Dennis and don't make you mad when you're wearing a belt?""That you need to act as strong as you are, and," he put his arm around her shoulder, glancing at the red welts showing through the fabric, "I will always be here for you, Lemon. Always."Liz leaned, content, into Jack's shoulder. Jack smiled. "I'll order you some new pants, Lemon.""And a pizza? Pretty please?"