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when seasons change so does his heart;that quiet boy, so young and purehas ne'er felt love with such allureas this; all senses do departwhen honey eyes meet blushing stare,emotions soar, hearts race within.a lingering touch that burns the skin,sweet sounds of laughter fills the air.a friendship grows as flowers do;if slow and calm and nurtured wellit's beauty blooms. under his spellhe feels the light of something new.how long he'll wait; in his own time, reward as sweet as love divine.
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Even from inside the small cafe, it seems that Jeonghan is unable to rid himself of the summer heat. He can feel the cool air from the window breezing by his table, barely reaching any of his group. The two across from him look just as uncomfortable as the he is."How much longer?" Seokmin complains, leaning his head against the wall, sighing at the cool feeling. Jeonghan notices that he's starting to sweat through his clothes. "Couldn't we at least have come to a cafe with air conditioning?""He said he would be here." Jeonghan mumbles under his breath, looking at his blank phone screen as though staring long enough would make something happen. He doesn't have to look up to know his friend is glaring at him, but he didn't expect the humidity today, or that he would be late. He's never late.Seokmin whines in response, but it only makes Jeonghan feel worse."You two can leave, I'll wait." He assures, but before Seokmin can agree, the one beside him speaks up."We can wait for a few more minutes, Han." Jisoo smiles softly in reassurance, reaching across their table to lightly touch Jeonghan's hand. It's sweaty and uncomfortable but it distracts him momentarily from Seokmin's childish behaviour. Jisoo knows how much Jeonghan doesn't want to be let down today; it was a miracle he was able to get everyone to agree on a date and time, nevermind talk Seokmin into sitting through his two friends stealing glances at each other but denying their feelings when prompted. Jeonghan knows it's tiring, but he has no choice.He isn't as brave as everyone thinks he is.Before Jeonghan has anymore time to beat himself up, his breath is stolen from him as he hears his name called from across the cafe. He tenses up, in the best way possible, and works up the small amount of courage needed to watch Seungcheol's smile beam as he bounds toward the group."I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the bus and then my phone died when I tried to figure out a different route to take, so I had to wait for the next one." He explains, plopping down into the seat next to Jeonghan, chair scooting a bit closer to him from the force."That's fine, we didn't wait long." Jisoo smiles, grimacing at the scoff that comes from beside him."Forgive me if I don't feel bad for you, hyung. You were on an air conditioned bus, while we've been sitting here dying. This cafe should rebrand as a sauna!" The youngest exclaims, leaning back in his seat for emphasis. He always was one for over-dramatics. Jeonghan watches Seungcheol break into laughter, the sound making him mirror the joy."You're 'dying' because you've been sitting here with the air turned off, idiot. It's controlled by each table, see?" Jeonghan's breath hitches silently when Seungcheol leans across him to touch a small panel on the wall, one none of them had even realized was there. With the press of a button, a steady gust of cold air flows out from above them, providing instant relief. Seokmin is too busy sighing in delight to comment on his mistake, Jisoo laughing softly at the situation.Seungcheol turns to his best friend, now pulled away but still in his personal space from pressing the control."I'm surprised you weren't able to figure that out, Hannie, I thought you were brilliant?" He teases, eyes still squinted from laughing. Jeonghan is glad he can blame his flushed cheeks on the weather. "Sorry I'm late, again." He continues, voice hushed, only for Jeonghan. "And thanks for waiting for me. I half thought you guys would be gone by the time I arrived."Jeonghan takes a breath to slow his heart down, smiling easily at the other."Of course, silly." He manages to joke. Jeonghan has always wondered why Seungcheol fails to realizes that he'll wait for him as long as he needs to. As long as it takes for him to also feel just as breathless in his presence. Forever, if he must.
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"You look nice today." Seungcheol smiles at Jeonghan beside him, the cold wind that blowing by them.Jeonghan mutters a 'thanks' in response. Usually, Jeonghan wasn't the type to go out at night, and when Jisoo had originally asked him to tag along, he'd wanted to say no. That is, until Seokmin slyly mentioned that Seungcheol would be there, and after that, Jeonghan thought a few hours out wouldn't kill him.Twenty minutes in to the ongoing walk to the restaurant, he was beginning to question whether his crush was worth freezing for, but when it comes to spending time with Seungcheol, Jeonghan will take what he can get.
"I thought this place was only a few blocks away, are you sure we're going the right direction?" He hears Jihoon complain from the back of the group. He and Soonyoung had been so lost in their own conversation, Jeonghan thinks they wouldn't have even noticed the long walk. Pulling the sleeves of his sweater down to shield his hands from the cold, it seems everyone is anxious to get inside.
"It should be just passed this next street... I think." Seokmin assures, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand while Jisoo pulls up a map on his phone. The sound of Seungcheol's quiet laughter at their situation makes Jeonghan's heart race. Jihoon mumbles a few more grievances from the back, until Seokmin let's out a cheer. "See? Here it is! I told you I knew where we were going." He smiles smugly. Jisoo entertains his pride by patting him on the head.
The group hurries inside, eager to get warm as they pile into a table at the back of the restaurant. Jihoon and Jisoo quickly take the ends, while Seokmin and Soonyoung sit together next to their boyfriends. It leaves Jeonghan no choice but to scoot in beside Seungcheol, which doesn't bother him exactly, but his heart is beating so fast he's afraid he might drop dead before he even gets to order.
And of course, as if fate was on his side for once, there were only three menus on the table. As the other two couples begin chatting about what they'd like to order, Seungcheol leans closer to Jeonghan, thighs pushing together and shoulders brushing gently so they could look at their options together. Jeonghan can't even think straight, nodding his head dumbly every time Seungcheol suggests something to him.
He manages to snap out of it, only when he hears Seungcheol snickering at him.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Huh?" Jeonghan replies in a stupor.
"I asked you what you wanted to drink." Seungcheol smirks, giggling at Jeonghan's expression. Jeonghan blushes at the attention and takes the menu from him to look closer. The way their hands touch doesn't at all help how he's feeling. "Oh, Hannie, you're hands are freezing. No wonder you can't pay attention to me." Seungcheol berates in worry and collects Jeonghan's hands in his own, gently rubbing them together for warmth.
As natural as can be, Seungcheol responds to the rest of the tables suggestions for food, all while holding Jeonghan's not-actually-that-cold fingers tightly in his grasp atop his lap. When they order, Jeonghan does his best not to stutter through it, and when they eat, Seungcheol lets his right hand go but continues to hold his left.
Throughout the entirety of dinner, Jeonghan feels thrilled. They're holding hands in secret, like a couple of teenagers, and it's not that big of a deal but their friends are right there, and Seungcheol is acting like it wouldn't be weird for them to try and explain themselves if they got caught.
Jeonghan's rare night out lasts for what seems like hours, and by the end of it, Jeonghan is sure that it definitely killed him, if only a little bit.
He's just not so sure if he minds that much.
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Surrounded by his closest friends, drink in hand, face hurting from how much he was smiling - this was exactly how Jeonghan wanted to ring in the New Year. They had all gathered in Jihoon and Soonyoung's apartment to celebrate the end of the year and the beginning of a new one. Soonyoung, however, seemed hell-bent on making sure his friends didn't make it until midnight. "Let's toast again!" Soonyoung cheered, raising his third can of beer in the air. "To my wonderful friends!""Kwon Soonyoung, you'll be the first one to go if you keep drinking like this." Jihoon berates, making everyone laugh. Soonyoung just pouts and takes another sip despite his boyfriend's remark. Jeonghan does too, turning his attention to the various live performances being played on the TV.The cushion beside him dips and Jeonghan feels an arm around his shoulders. He can tell it's Seungcheol from how natural it feels. "They're all crazy." Seungcheol remarks, sighing softly. Jeonghan doesn't look away from the TV, he doesn't want to know how close they are."We hang out with them, doesn't that make us crazy, too?" Seungcheol laughs and takes another drink of beer. "I suppose that's true. Did Shua call you yet?" "No, not yet. It's, like, 7 in the morning for him right now. He's probably still asleep." Jeonghan replies. After he and Seokmin broke up, Jisoo had left Seoul to visit L.A. over the holidays. Jeonghan was glad he could have somewhere to clear his head, but right now he really missed his best friend. He looks over at Seungcheol for the first time since he'd sat down and regrets it immediately. There's no way he'll be able to look away now.Seungcheol is already staring at him, his black hair a pushed-back mess and the first two buttons of his dress shirt undone - it's almost as if he's trying to kill Jeonghan. The younger simply gives in and leans his head back onto Seungcheol's arm, staring back at him. "I know you miss him, but he'll be back in Korea before you know it. It's best if they stay apart right now, anyway." Seungcheol says, playing with strands of Jeonghan's hair aimlessly. "Don't look so sad, we're supposed to be celebrating." He smiles softly.Jeonghan hadn't even realized he was pouting until Seungcheol called him out for it."I just want this year to be good, that's all." He explains, looking over at where Soonyoung and Seokmin and dancing wildly, Junhui cheering them on. "It will be, I promise." Seungcheol says easily. "I'll help you make it the best year of your life."Jeonghan can't help but laugh at Seungcheol's confidence. He sees Seungkwan stand up tell everyone something, but he's too focused on Seungcheol to hear what it is. "How can you make that kind of promise, Choi Seungcheol? If my year is terrible, you'll be to blame." Jeonghan smiles, looking back at his friend. Seungcheol smiles, too, pushing hair out of Jeonghan's face. The background noise is filled with counting."You don't believe me?" Seungcheol sulks, but only for a moment. "Alright, I'll start right now."Jeonghan doesn't have a minute to process anything before Seungcheol is kissing him. He's in shock. Something he's been waiting for for months, maybe even years, is happening so casually on their friend's couch? Jeonghan doesn't get the chance to react properly before Seungcheol is pulling away. He realizes that Seungcheol probably thought Jeonghan wasn't interested. That couldn't be farther from the truth."Happy New Year." Seungcheol says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Jeonghan still doesn't know what to say. The pressure on his lips from where Seungcheol's had been is the only reassurance that it hadn't been a dream. Jeonghan jumps in his seat when Soonyoung pops confetti, and he remembers they aren't alone. No one is looking at them, instead they're too invested in celebrating the New Year which has just begun. Junhui and Chan are singing in broken English while Seungkwan hangs off of Mingyu, crying about how much his friends mean to him. Jeonghan realizes no one saw what happened. No one saw how stupid Jeonghan was for not reacting.Seungcheol moves his arm off of Jeonghan and stands up, wiping his hands off on the front of his pants. Jeonghan wants to grab his hand and tell him not to go, but he's frozen. Instead, Soonyoung takes Seungcheol's hand and pulls him into their dancing circle.The moment is forgotten as quickly as it started. Suddenly, like Jisoo, Jeonghan wishes he was somewhere else, too.
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It was rare for Jeonghan to cry, but these days that's all he wanted to do.He hadn't spoken to Seungcheol since New Year's. It's been four months since then. Every group event he knew Seungcheol would be attending he made sure to find a way out of, but it was already April and his friends were starting to ask questions. Jeonghan knows he has to suck it up and be the bigger person; he was the one who messed it up, afterall.Jisoo parks his car on the side of the road across from Mingyu's apartment, turning it off and looking over at Jeonghan. "Are you sure you want to go? You can still change your mind." He assures, watching how Jeonghan tightens his grip on the box in his lap. The wrapping paper crinkles. It breaks the silence Jeonghan's been trying to keep the entire drive."I'll be fine. I just want to stop by, tell Mingyu he's old and leave, okay?""Okay." Jisoo half smiles at Jeonghan's comment. "Whenever you're ready to leave, just let me know. I don't exactly want to be there either." He mumbles the last part before getting out of his car. Jeonghan forgot that Jisoo also had to see his ex today. They were in the same boat, sort of.Jeonghan exits the car and crosses the street with Jisoo, making it to the elevator before his nerves get the better of him and he starts to feel anxious. He's scared. Scared to see Seungcheol? Not really. He's been thinking about him enough to not be afraid of that, but his emotions scare him more than the actual person behind the reason. Jeonghan is scared that everything he's been avoiding is about to catch up to him, and this time he won't have anywhere to hide.Jisoo notices how tense Jeonghan's gotten and wraps his arm around his waist."I don't think Mingyu will be happy if you scrunch up his present anymore than you already have." Jisoo jokes, rubbing Jeonghan's side. The latter can only stand and watch the number on the wall get higher and higher, until ding, and they're there.Jisoo takes the lead and walks out first, following muscle memory to make it to Mingyu's front door. Without knocking, he enters, kicking off his shoes and following the noise of conversation and laughter inside. It takes Jeonghan two breaths to find the courage to go inside, but once he does, it isn't so bad.He's always loved Mingyu's apartment. The soft decor and inviting warmth could make anyone feel at home. Mingyu insists Chaeyeon is the brains behind his home, but Jeonghan knows what parts belong to who. He makes his way down the hall quietly and into the kitchen, finding Jisoo standing among Jihoon and Seungkwan. Even amongst this many people Jeonghan can tell who's missing.Seungcheol wasn't there. Jeonghan takes an easy breath, but for some reason he feels disappointment in the back of his mind. All of his worrying was for nothing."Hyung! I'm so happy you're here!" Mingyu beams, nearly knocking over his drink to rush over to Jeonghan and engulf him in a hug. Jeonghan returns the affection willingly. He missed his friends."Happy birthday, Gyu." Jeonghan smiles, putting the present on the kitchen counter. "That's from me and Jisoo.""Thank you!" Mingyu sings, moving to examine the wrapped up box. Jeonghan notices just how much damage his nervous grip had done to it while Mingyu shakes it around."That could be fragile, you know." Jihoon pipes up from the other side of the kitchen. "Really Mingyu, you're so clumsy..."Mingyu pouts and puts the box down. "I was just checking it out..." He whines in response. Jeonghan smiles at the bickering of his friends and takes the glass of iced tea Jisoo hands him. Suddenly, he doesn't think this party would be so bad. Of course, the universe loves to play games. His thoughts are rudely interrupted when Choi Seungcheol emerges from the hallway, a shining blue bag in his hand. His hair was messed up and his jacket hung off his shoulder - it looked as if he'd walked out of a tornado. "I'm sorry I'm late, the bus broke down so I had to run here from 10 blocks away." He explains, heavily out of breath. Jeonghan turns and walks toward the first person he sees, which happens to be Jihoon. Maybe Seungcheol wouldn't even notices he's here? He chooses to pretend he can't feel Seungcheol staring at him as he walks away."That's alright, hyung. I'm just happy you could make it." Mingyu says cheerfully. "I'm so happy you guys are here!"Some others in their group pipe up with replies about how they wouldn't miss it for the world, choruses of happy birthday, Mingyu and thank you for having us. Among it all, Jeonghan feels himself panicking. He just wants to leave. Jisoo approaches him and eyes him oddly. "Han, are you okay?" He asks quietly, putting a hand on his arm in comfort. Jeonghan only feels worse. His tears are pooling and he needs to leave. He thinks of the fastest excuse he can."I forgot something in your car, I need to go get it." He says hurriedly, looking anywhere but Seungcheol's direction. Jisoo nods slowly, taking his keys out and handing them to Jeonghan who all but rushes out of the room and back to the door. He doesn't even get his shoes all the way on before he's headed towards the elevator, eyes blurry and breathing laboured. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears as the numbers decrease painfully slow. Once he's outside, in the fresh spring air, Jeonghan finally relaxes. Mingyu's apartment had never felt so stuffy to him before.It doesn't last for long."Jeonghan," Seungcheol says from behind him, sounding just as out of breath as he had earlier. Jeonghan begs the universe to make him disappear. "Jeonghan-ah, we should talk...""I don't want to." Jeonghan says quickly. He still hasn't turned around. He's ashamed that his tears have returned. "Just go back upstairs, Seungcheol, I'll be there in a minute-""Jeonghan," Seungcheol insists, pulling on the younger's arm for him to turn around. "You can't keep running from me forever."Jeonghan musters up enough courage to face the love of his life, even if he knows it could be the last time. Seungcheol's face twists into confusion when he sees Jeonghan's tears."Why are you crying-""I don't know!" Jeonghan yells. The sudden outburst makes a few people passing on the street look over at them, mumbling about how strange it is. They make Jeonghan look down at the ground in embarrassment. Seungcheol is a bit taken back as well, but he stands his ground."I just want to know what's wrong, Jeonghan... We haven't spoken since... Since,""Since you kissed me?" Jeonghan completes his sentence for him, but feels angry when he says it outloud. This whole situation wouldn't be happening right now if Seungcheol had have just left him alone. "Why did you do that? You could have saved us both a lot of trouble, you know. You couldn't have found anyone else to randomly kiss?" Jeonghan asks in frustration, shaking Seungcheol's hand off of his arm. Seungcheol tries to get a word in but Jeonghan can't stop himself. "You know, I've been so mad at myself for just sitting there like an idiot and not reacting properly, but really it's you I should be mad at. Why the fuck would you kiss me? You don't even like me! Was it a joke, or some kind of bet? If it was, I swear to god Choi Seungcheol, I'll-""Woah woah, Hannie, calm down." Seungcheol begs, looking around at the people passing by them. They most likely both looked insane. "It wasn't like that at all, I kissed you because I like you, what's so wrong with that?" Jeonghan was about to lose his mind."What do you mean you like me? Since when do you like me?" Jeonghan laughs. "I've been trying to give you hints that I like you but you've been too stupid to pick up on them!" "Me? I'm not the stupid one, I've been trying to give you hints that I like you for years and you always call me your best friend and leave it at that!" Seungcheol retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought I would finally make a move on New Year's Eve, but you just sat there and let me kiss you! How was that you telling me that you liked me?""I didn't kiss you back because I was so in shock that you kissed me! Besides, afterwards you just left without even letting me explain, and then didn't talk to me the last four months, what was I supposed to make of that?""Seriously, Jeonghan, you're the most frustrating person I've ever met." Seungcheol sighs, hanging his head. Jeonghan crosses his arms, too, frowning at Seungcheol's words."You're the one who's frustrating..." He mumbles, watching Seungcheol look up at him and start to laugh. "What's so funny?" He asks in annoyance. Seungcheol just keeps laughing, and the sight is even to even make Jeonghan crack a bit of a smile before realizing that it's just making him more annoyed. "Seriously, Choi, what is so funny?""Well, Hannie," Seungcheol starts, smiling fondly at the other. "We're standing here, outside of our friends apartment, arguing over the fact that we both like each other and we were both too afraid to just come out and say it." He explains. Jeonghan thinks about what he said, realizing that it's true. They're both idiots."Oh," Jeonghan says quietly, looking away from Seungcheol. The older cups the side of Jeonghan's face with his hand and turns him back to face him. "So, Yoon Jeonghan, I'm going to kiss you again. I'm giving you lots of warning, so we can do this properly, yeah?" Seungcheol smiles and leans in. Even with the notice, Jeonghan's still not ready for when Seungcheol's lips touch his.Their kiss is just as sweet as the first, but this time Jeonghan holds onto the fabric of Seungcheol's coat and pulls him closer. They get their first real kiss, and it's everything Jeonghan has dreamt it to be. He can feel his eyes get wet again.It was rare for Jeonghan to cry, but right now at least, they're happy tears.