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'Let's go.' Link rapped on the door frame of the on-call room. Nico sat up, shielding his eyes from the bright light streaming in from the corridor with one hand and scrabbling for his phone with the other. 'Incoming ortho case?''Nope.' Link flipped on the light switch. 'Concussion protocol.''I said I'm fine,' Nico grumbled, flopping back down to the mattress. He yanked the pillow over his face.'You're not fine until I say you're fine,' Link retorted, his customarily laid-back tone sharpening into something Nico hadn't heard since his own intern year when Link was the chief resident.Nico muttered a few choice expletives under his breath and swung his feet to the floor, shoving them into his runners. He followed Link to an exam room and hoisted himself to the table. 'I'm fine. I know all the signs of concussion. Just like you. Even have an M.D. after my name. No nausea, no blurry vision. No light sensitivity. No headaches, except for the damn goose egg on my head. No memory loss. Look, Schmitt did all this before we went into the OR…'Link snapped on a pair of gloves and began to examine the large red bump on Nico's head. 'Forgive me if I don't trust an intern with my fellow.' He tilted Nico's head toward the light. 'Did he really blow you in an ambulance?'Nico jerked, face flushing. 'It just sort of happened.'Link sat back and peeled off the gloves. 'Bullshit. I've been watching you send out every signal known to man or woman since you met him. You look at him like he’s cheesecake and it’s cheat day. He's been undressing you with his eyes since you took your shirt off in front of him.’ Nico’s eyes narrowed. ‘Interns like to gossip,’ Link told him. 'And you gave them something to gossip about.''I kissed him. The day we had the kid with the osteosarcoma and humerus fracture.' Nico exhaled slowly. 'In an elevator.''That does tend to happen here. Weird…''It was his first kiss with a man.'Link let out a low whistle. 'Wow. I thought for sure he was out…''Yeah, well, so did I.' Nico rubbed the back of his neck. 'Anyway, when he told me that, I was an ass,' he confessed, aping Levi's words. 'I was projecting all my crap on him. I told him couldn't be his gay sherpa,' Nico muttered.'One of your more boneheaded moves,' Link agreed.'Not my finest hour. And I stupidly didn't listen to him about the wind during the storm.' Nico glanced up at Link. 'Do you know about the Ventouri effect?''Yeah. Two tall buildings can make wind blow harder between them. Basic physics. Everybody knows that.'Nico glared at Link. 'Not everybody,' he muttered. 'Wind just knocked me off my feet and into the ambulance parked in the ambulance bay. Levi crawled out and all but shoved me into the ambulance. Gave me a piece of his mind with an ice pack.' Nico squinted at Link. 'Ever heard of a Sunsword?''Is that what you're calling your junk these days?''Never mind. It's not important,' Nico sighed. 'Anyway, he's talking about how it felt for someone to want him. Him. Every last nerdy bit of him. And I… I kissed him. Again.''In the ambulance.''Yeah.' Nico rubbed the back of his neck. 'And one thing led to another… I mean, I got blowjobs from college hookups that were good, but Jesus… That was…' Nico trailed off, eyes unfocusing as he pictured Levi tentatively exploring Nico's body, growing bolder and more confident at the sounds Nico had made, feeling the scrape of the stubble on Levi's cheeks over his stomach. Nico shook himself. 'We'd just managed to get dressed when the chief ducked into the ambulance. I thought for sure he was gonna fire me.''I saw him talking to you and Schmitty after we did that post-op check on Lundberg. Let you off with a warning for fooling around with a subordinate?’'Told us to use rooms that lock from now.' Nico met Link's eyes and they both began to chuckle. Nico wiped his eyes. 'Really. I'm fine I just need sleep because it's been a long day, and some asshole attending woke me up for no good reason.' He glanced at the cupboards. 'But since I'm up… Awake, I mean,' Nico amended hastily, 'could I get you do something for me?''Sure.'Nico propped his arm on the tray table. 'STD screening.'Link stood up and began gathering the appropriate paraphernalia. 'When was the last time you had one?''A year ago. I get one every year.'Link wound the tourniquet around Nico's bicep and prodded the crook of his elbow until he found a suitable vein. 'Responsible of you.''I want one before this thing with Sch… Levi goes any further.'Link swabbed the crook of Nico's elbow with alcohol, then slid the butterfly needle into his arm and pressed a collection tube in place. 'Been a while, hasn't it?''Fourth year residency,' Nico said shortly. It hadn't ended well. Contrary to what everyone might have believed, Nico's sexual partner the last year and a half had been his right hand.Link didn't say anything. He merely swapped out the collection tubes, removed the needle, and tucked a cotton ball over the small puncture wound, closing Nico's elbow over it, then labeled the collection tubes. 'I'll take these down to the lab for you.' Nico nodded, mind elsewhere. Link plucked the cotton ball away and smoothed a band-aid over Nico's elbow in its place. Nico blinked. 'Mickey Mouse? Really?''Could have been Dora the Explorer.' Link slapped Nico's shoulder. 'Can I ask you something?''Yeah.''Did you just know everything about being in a relationship with another man when you realized you were attracted to men, or did you have a gay sherpa of your own?' Link asked. 'Just something to think about while you sleep.'
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‘Blood Bank!’ Alex called into the interns’ locker room. ‘You’re with me today!’Levi sighed and shrugged into his lab coat, shoving his stethoscope into a pocket. He followed Alex to peds, wondering what sort of fresh hell awaited him today.‘Okay, Blood Bank, working with tiny humans might look easy, but it’s harder than neuro,’ Alex began. ‘It’s Dr. Schmitt,’ Levi shot back. His eyes widened and mouth fell slightly open at the realization that he’d interrupted not only an attending, but the chief. Alex stopped and glared at the intern, eyes narrowed. ‘It’s a good nickname. Own it. You earned it by stepping up in a crisis situation. Helluva lot better than Glasses, if you ask me.’ He continued to walk. ‘Mine was Evil Spawn,’ he added with a cocky grin. ‘One of the other guys in my year was 007.’Levi frowned. ‘As in James Bond?''As in license to kill,' Alex retorted. 'He got picked to do the intern surgery, and botched an appie.' He saw Levi mouth 'wow' from the corner of his eye. 'He got better, though,' Alex added, almost as an afterthought. 'What happened to him?''Pushed someone out of the way of an oncoming bus and died,' Alex said matter-of-factly. 'Back to peds. Peds is working with tiny humans. Tiny humans who can't always tell you where and when it hurts. Tiny humans are harder to operate on, because it’s not just general in miniature.''Yes, sir.''But they bounce back a lot faster than adults. Their parents are probably going to freak out a few times. Some will freak out a lot. Remember one thing: you advocate for your patient, which is…''The tiny human. Right.' Levi thought back to the mother on the ortho case who burst into heaving sobs when they told her that her son had cancer. Operable, with a high chance of recovery and remission, but still… She hadn't heard a word beyond cancer.'Exactly. Use your words, Blood Bank.' Alex paused in front of the doors to peds. 'How's it going with Dr. Kim?''What?''Is it a fling? Is it just sex? Is it serious? What am I dealing with?''I… I'm not sure…'Alex poked Levi in the shoulder with a blunt forefinger. 'If it's a fling, keep it discreet. I don't have to tell you that. Rooms that lock,’ he reminded Levi. ‘If it turns into more, there's paperwork in HR meant to cover all our asses. So you can't claim he took advantage of you if it all goes to hell. You know. Standard stuff.' He pushed the doors open, and grabbed a tablet from the nurses' station. 'Today's your lucky day, Blood Bank. We're going to help a seventeen year old girl make it to her prom on time. Let's go.'
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The screen of a phone lit up the darkened room. Nico reached over Levi’s shoulder and blindly groped until he picked up offending device, hoping it wasn't a page for either of them.
Hi honey… Last night of Haunukkah is tomorrow night. I've saved some latkes for you. Hope you can make it. Love you…
The name at the top of the screen read, 'Mom.'Nico carefully entered Levi's password, and found his mother's number. He replaced Levi's phone and picked up his own, quickly entering Levi's mother's information into it. Levi was on-call tonight, and had a twenty-eight hour starting in a few hours.Levi stirred, then stretched. Nico's movements had awakened him. 'Wass it a page?' he mumbled sleepily.'No. Go back to sleep.' Nico pressed his lips to the back of Levi's neck. He felt Levi's body go slack as he went back to sleep. Nico envied Levi's ability to fall asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. He wondered if Levi could sleep standing up, then tightened his arms around the smaller man and closed his eyes, formulating a plan.Several hours later, armed with the largest cup of coffee the cart near the main entrance had, Nico pulled out his phone, took a deep breath, and thumbed through his contacts until he found the one labelled "Levi's Mom." He sat down on one of the benches and tapped her phone number. 'Hello?' chirped a cheerful voice on the other end.'Um. Hi. My name's Nico. I'm a friend of Levi's...''Is Levi all right?' All hint of cheer dropped from the voice.'Oh! Yeah. He's fine.' Nico leaned forward, and propped his elbows on his knees. 'I'm making a mess out of this,' he muttered. 'I saw your text about Haunkkah,' Nico confessed. 'He's on shift until tomorrow morning, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't had time to call you yet.''Then this is very kind of you.' Levi's mother sounded puzzled.'I wonder if I could maybe bring Haunkkah to Levi.''And how do you propose to do that?''Bring him some latkes? And whatever else he'd like?'There was a long pause, during which Nico scarcely allowed himself to breathe. 'When does he have a break and when can you get here?''I'm off for the day, and he'll probably have some sort of break around seven.''Can you be here by five?''Yeah! Absolutely! This is great!'Levi's mother sounded amused. 'Do you know how to get here?'Nico dug into the pocket of his lab coat. 'What's the address?'*****Nico stood on the porch of a modest Craftsman house and rang the bell, wiping his suddenly damp palms down the sides of his jeans. If Levi hadn't come out to his mother, how on earth was he going to explain their relationship? Would mere friends do this?The front door opened, revealing a woman, slightly shorter than Levi, with his wavy unruly dark hair, only threaded with grey. Like Levi, she also wore glasses perched on her nose. 'You must be Nico.''Yes, ma'am.''Call me Miriam. Come in! It's chilly out.' She motioned for Nico to enter the house. 'Tea? Coffee?''Tea. Thanks.''Black, green, or herbal?''Uh. Herbal.''Chamomile, mint, hibiscus, that weird apple cinnamon that I swear only Levi drinks…''Mint. With honey, if you have it.'Miriam busied herself with a kettle and two mugs. 'So you know Levi from the hospital?'Nico slid onto a stool on the other side of the kitchen counter. 'Yeah. I'm an ortho fellow.'Miriam glanced at him over the rims of her round glasses. 'What did you do to get Levi to finally come out to himself?' At Nico's shocked, and admittedly guilty expression, Miriam laughed. 'Oh, I've known since Levi was eleven or twelve. All his crushes were on boys. All his debate club and Dungeons and Dragons friends talked about girls, but not Levi. Usually. It always felt forced if he joined in.' She poured boiling water into the mug with Nico's tea and set it in front of him, along with a bear-shaped bottle of honey and a spoon. 'He talks about you all the time. And the home screen of his phone is a picture of the two you that’s in a pose a little closer than bros.'Nico upended the bear and squeezed a dollop of honey into his tea. He knew the picture. The same one was on his phone. 'I flirted with him. Shamelessly. Dropped about a million hints.' Nico stirred his tea. 'I kissed him.' Deciding discretion was the better part of valor, Nico refrained from mentioning the ambulance, and the subsequent Sunsword discussion.Miriam lifted her own mug to her lips. 'Ballsy.''Um, thank you?'Miriam studied the younger man while she sipped her tea. 'Hot cocoa,' she blurted.'What?''When Levi gets stressed, hot cocoa helps… Here…' She grabbed a notepad and pen, then scribbled something on a sheet of paper, ripped it off the pad and pushed it toward Nico. 'That's the recipe that he really likes. Any hot cocoa will do, but give him a mug of that one, and you can see tension drain away. If he's really stressed, add a few marshmallows.' She grinned. 'Works better than a glass of wine and a hot bath.''Seriously?''Works like a charm.' She set her mug down. 'Can you cook?''My mom's Italian. When I was born, she swore there was no way I was going to get waited on hand and foot like her brothers. So when I started junior high, I had to start doing my own laundry. And she taught me how to cook. And the next year, my dad's mom moved in with us, so Mom made her teach me the Korean stuff.''Miriam stared at him. 'Oh my God, you're perfect. You're a doctor, you can cook… You wouldn't happen to be Jewish, would you?'Nico chuckled. 'Lapsed Catholic.'Miriam sighed dramatically. 'Can't have everything, I suppose.' She straightened and pushed the sleeves of her sweater to her elbows. 'These latkes won't make themselves,' she declared. She rummaged in a drawer and handed Nico a vegetable peeler. 'Everyone helps. Schmitt family rule. There are a couple of aprons on the side of the fridge.'Nico drained his mug and slid off the stool. He plucked the first apron that came to hand and slipped the neck strap over his head and wrapped the ties around his waist, before fastening it in a jaunty bow. He washed his hands, then picked up the first potato and quickly peeled it, before passing it to Miriam. 'What made you go into orthopedics?' Miriam asked, grating the potato into a bowl lined with cheesecloth.Nico picked up another potato and began peeling it. 'I played soccer in high school. Shredded my left knee my junior year.' Nico lifted his left foot a little to flex his knee. 'Surgeon was amazing. I always wanted to be a doctor, but ortho gave me a goal.' He handed Miriam the potato and grabbed another one, peeling it swiftly before plunging headlong into the question burning in the back of his mind. 'Levi never talks about his dad…'Miriam nodded. 'He died when Levi was ten. Jonathan was an accountant and was working late. Tax season, you know.' Miriam held out her hand for the potato Nico held in his hand. He handed it to her. 'He fell asleep while driving home. Single car accident. No alcohol, no drugs. Car ran off the road, flipped. They told me he didn't feel anything.' She paused, hands resting on the rim of the bowl. 'Levi doesn't like to talk about it.' She exhaled slowly. 'It was a rough year for him. Jon's mother died a couple of months later. Jon's father, Eli, moved in with us, then. He's the one who introduced Levi to Tolkien. He started with The Hobbit, and read a chapter to Levi every night.' Nico paused, holding the peeler suspended over the potato, almost afraid to ask, eyes darting to Miriam. Levi had only ever mentioned that his mother also lived in the house. 'Eli moved to San Diego after Levi went to college. He said he was tired of Seattle winters,' Miriam told him, sensing the question Nico left unasked.'Can't say I blame him,' Nico muttered. A native of Los Angeles, Seattle winters had been something of a culture shock. He gave Miriam the last potato. 'What about you?''Mind dicing those onions?' Miriam indicated a knife block. 'What about me?''Did you ever remarry?' Nico selected a knife, peeled an onion, then sliced it neatly in half.'Do you have any idea how hard it is to date when you have a kid?''I'm gonna go with really hard.''In a word.' Miriam tied the cheesecloth into a loose knot, then slid the handle of a wooden spoon into it. She used the handle to squeeze the liquid from the potatoes, then dumped the shreds into another bowl. She turned to the refrigerator, and emerged with a carton of eggs. 'And every time I tried dating someone, it just reminded me how much I missed Jon.'Nico dumped the onions into the bowl with the potatoes. 'Levi says you're a librarian.''Yeah. I do children's services. Story times, coordinate programming, after school tutoring. Levi was one our best tutors,' Miriam couldn't help but add with a hint of pride. She cracked eggs into the bowl, then added a few handfuls of matzoh meal. She drained the potato liquid and added the starchy sludge left in the bottom of the bowl and began to mix it all together. 'How is he doing? Really?'Nico wiped his hands on the apron. 'He's doing great. But I'm biased. Intern year is beyond hard. You don't sleep enough. You don't see your friends outside the hospital. There was a married couple my intern year. One was an internist and one was an OB/GYN. They saw each other for fifteen minutes a day sometimes. It puts a lot of pressure on relationships. And surgery is notorious for chewing up residents and spitting them out. If you're not actually practicing medicine, you're in the skills lab. Or on-call. Or studying for the intern exam. And when you do leave the hospital, all you want to do is put on sweats and eat week-old cold pizza while you do your laundry.' A small smile curved the corner of Nico's mouth. 'He's finally figuring out he knows his stuff.'Miriam washed her hands and turned on a burner under a heavy skillet and poured oil in it. 'You must really like Levi,' she commented, keeping her eyes on the stream of cooking oil. 'Not very many people would do this.''I like everything about him. Wouldn't want to change anything.'Miriam set the oil down and gave Nico a look. 'Couldn't you just say you're Jewish, so I can live the Jewish mother fantasy of my son dating a handsome, utterly charming Jewish doctor?'****Nico opened the door of the on-call room on six. It was one of the little used rooms that he and Levi used when they had a shift together to catch up on some sleep. Or other things. It was thankfully deserted. He set the foil-covered plate down on the small table in the corner, then dropped the tote bag into one of the chairs. He took out the small menorah Miriam had given him, and carefully inserted candles the way she'd shown him. He dug out the paper plates and plastic forks and knives and set them next to the plate with the latkes, and rummaged in the bottom for the book of matches. Everything in place, he texted Levi with the on-call room number.Levi darted in a few minutes later. 'I've got thirty minutes,' he exclaimed. 'I need to finish my charts and I'm monitoring Pierce's post-ops tonight.' He drew himself up short. 'Why do I smell latkes?'Nico pointed to the table. 'I brought you Hanukkah.''How? Why?' Levi stammered.'I saw the text from your mom, used your password -- which you gave me -- to get her phone number, called her this morning, and helped make them. It seemed important to her.'''You met my mom?' Levi said faintly.'Yeah. She's nice.' Nico slapped the book of matches into Levi's hands. 'You've got twenty-nine minutes.'Levi switched off the lights and opened the matches and struck one, cupping one hand around the flame until he touched it to the center candle. He began to sing, slightly off-key, using the candle to light the others. Once all the candles were lit, he peeled back the foil and forked a latke onto each plate, handing one to Nico.'You're Jewish,' Nico stated.Levi paused with a forkful of latke and applesauce halfway to his mouth. 'You had to go make latkes with my mom to figure that out?' he drawled before shoving the fork into his mouth. Swallowing, he reached for his bottle of water on the table. 'You mean Levi Elijah Schmitt wasn't enough of a hint?' He took a swig of water. 'And you've had your hands all over my --'Nico used the side of a fork to cut his own latke into smaller pieces. 'So you're circumcised,' he interrupted. 'So am I.' He spread sour cream over a piece of latke and stabbed it with his fork. 'It doesn't change anything. It just would've been nice to know.'They ate quietly for several minutes before Nico blurted, 'My first name is Nicola.' He watched the candles flicker in the darkness. 'My dad calls me Nic. Mom calls me Nicky. My nonna is the only one who called me Nicola. I started using Nico in junior high after too many jerks in gym class called me a girl and filled my locker with tampons.' He grimaced. 'My full name is Nicola Hui-Jun Kim.'Levi's lips formed the words a few times before he spoke them aloud. 'Hui-Jun?' he said hesitantly.Nico crammed a bite of his latke into his mouth. 'My dad's mother picked it out. It means bright and handsome,' he muttered sheepishly, turning red. 'She was hoping it would be prophetic.'Levi's eyes flickered over Nico. 'It certainly worked…''Shut up,' Nico said gruffly, but with a half smile. He reached for the tote bag and grabbed a gaily wrapped parcel out of it. 'Your mom sent this, too.'Levi took the squishy package and tossed it on one of the on-call room beds. 'It's probably socks and underwear,' he sighed. 'Every year since I was eight.''Nothing wrong with socks. Dumbledore said he wanted socks for Christmas.'Levi looked up slowly. 'Did you… Did you just quote Harry Potter at me?''Maybe.'Levi's eyes grew round. 'You're a Potterhead, aren't you?'Nico shrugged. He had a battered, much-read set of Harry Potter books in a bookcase in his apartment. Levi had hot chocolate, and he had Harry, Ron, and Hermione. 'Maybe.' He grabbed Levi's bottle of water. 'You should tell your mom that you're gay. I mean, she's known for years, but you should tell her. You're lucky. Remember when I told you I'd already done my coming out?' Levi nodded. 'I came out to my parents before I started med school. I was out to my friends, but not my family. My mom cried and went to Mass to pray for my soul every day until I left for school. My dad did that brooding, silent thing, because being gay isn't a thing when you're Asian, so nobody ever talks about it.' Nico's shoulder hitched uncomfortably. ‘My sister got tired of the drama and dragged Mom to a PFLAG meeting. Emma told Mom it was stupid of her to be upset about having a gay son when she followed a religion that turned a blind eye to priests abusing kids.’ Nico watched a drop of melted wax slide down the candle. ‘It got better,’ he said quietly, remembering the tearful conversations he'd had with his parents before his second year of med school. 'There was a lot of shouting. Insisting I'm the same Nico I'd been before I told them I was gay. That the only thing that had changed was they knew what I'd known since I was a kid. That I was who they raised me to be. And I said it over and over until they listened.' Nico took a sip of water. His mouth was suddenly dry. 'That's why when you said it was your first kiss with a man, I reacted so badly.'One of Levi's hands landed on Nico's thigh. For once he didn't know what to say. Nico let out a soft bark of sardonic laughter, scrubbing a hand over his face. 'This is a teaching hospital, after all,' Nico said quietly, unable to hide the hitch in his voice.
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Levi surreptitiously rubbed his eyes. The last thing he needed was for Meredith Grey to think he couldn't do his job. He blinked furiously, trying in vain to produce tears. 'What's the matter, Schmitt?' Meredith's dry voice intruded. Levi squinted at the blurry form of Meredith learning against the doorframe of the ICU cubicle. 'Contacts,' he sighed.Meredith jerked her head toward the door. 'Ten minutes, Schmitt.' Levi hurriedly got to his feet and all but ran to the interns' locker room. Meredith shook her head. He reminded her of George during their early years. She smiled a little wistfully, moving around the bed, checking the patient's vitals. Had George lived, he would probably be running the hospital in his quietly determined manner.'Hey, Levi… Er, Dr. Schmitt?' Nico skidded to a halt in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee.Meredith looked up from the tablet. 'He's gone to…' She waved a hand in front of her eyes. 'He'll be back soon.'Nico's expression didn't change, beyond a flicker of his eyelids. 'Can I leave this with you?' he asked, holding up the cup.'Sure.' Meredith set the tablet down. 'You can wait for him, if you want.''Trauma in the pit for ortho. It's a pretty big surgery.' Nico put the cup on a table. 'I'll just…' He hastily left the ICU. Meredith turned the cup toward the light. Someone -- presumably Nico -- had drawn tiny hearts on either side of Levi's name scrawled on the side of the cup. 'I'm back,' Levi said breathlessly. He'd jogged from the interns' locker room to the ICU in record time.Meredith picked up the coffee and held it out. 'Dr. Kim thought you might need this,' she told him.Levi adjusted his glasses. 'That was nice of him,' he said casually, feeling his cheeks burn.Meredith glanced at her watch, then sat down in one of the chairs. 'Be careful, Schmitt.''I haven't spilled coffee on myself in months,' Levi protested.'With Dr. Kim.'Levi sank into the other chair. 'I -- I --' he stammered.Meredith leaned back. 'It's okay. With me. I was that girl. The one who slept with her attending. Picked him up in a bar the night before I started my internship.' She fished an elastic from the pocket of her lab coat and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, chuckling softly. 'One of my housemates threw a party and invited Bailey. Derek showed up and we ended up having sex in his car.''Oh.' Levi rubbed the pad of his thumb over the plastic lid on his cup.Meredith's eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement. 'It gets worse,' she said. 'Bailey found us. We were blocking her car.'Levi's eyes widened. 'Wow.''That wasn't even the worst of it,' she assured him, thinking of her panties tacked up to the bulletin board, or the bout of appendicitis with her morphine-fueled confessions. 'Dr. Karev knows,' Levi blurted. 'The chief, I mean.' He took a sip of his coffee. 'We were in an ambulance during that windstorm. The chief almost walked in on us.''An ambulance?' Meredith blurted. 'That's bold. We usually go for on-call rooms and elevators here.' She examined Levi for a long moment, before she checked the monitor. 'It worked out for me, in the end. It doesn’t always. It’s gonna be messy. You need boundaries. Maybe don't go for ortho. The specialty. The ortho god… You'd be an idiot to pass that up.' Meredith pushed herself to her feet. 'Okay, Schmitt, tell me what you're going to do if this guy goes south later.'Levi rattled off any and all medical interventions he could use on the patient, and explained why he preferred one over the other for good measure. 'And listen to the nurses, Especially Tyler. Because they know more than I do.’Meredith grinned. 'Jo Karev’s on-call tonight. Page her if anything happens. If it gets really bad, page me, too.'‘Yes, ma’am.’We'll make a surgeon out of you yet, Schmitt.'
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Levi kissed the side of Nico's neck, biting gently as Nico slowly slid inside him. Levi moaned deep in his chest as his hips settled against Nico's. 'Oh. God,' Levi breathed. Nico slid a hand between their bodies and let the backs of his fingers brush against Levi's stomach before wrapping his fingers around Levi's erection. Levi's head dropped forward, forehead resting on Nico's shoulder.The sound of a car door slamming and footsteps near the window tugged Nico's attention from the haze of lust 'Did you hear that?' he gasped.'Neighbor,' Levi said shortly. He'd learned long ago to tune out the sounds of the neighborhood. He slid his hands into Nico's hair and curled his fingers over the curve of his head. Levi tilted Nico's face upward and kissed him, rotating his hips.'Fuck me…' Nico ground out.'I thought that was what I was doing,' Levi chuckled huskily. Nico thrust his hips upward, meeting Levi's movements, echoing them with the hand stroking Levi. The breathless moans and murmured words drowned out the sound of the back door of the house opening.Miriam set her bag down with a sigh and headed for the kitchen to make a much needed cup of tea. Rhythmic, guttural groaning pulled her up short and she stared at the partially-open basement door. She clapped a hand over her mouth. The moans grew louder, and Miriam stood rooted to the spot. If she tried to escape to the relative safety -- and silence -- of her bedroom upstairs, her footsteps over the hardwood floors would alert the boys to her presence. If she stayed in the kitchen, she'd hear every noise they made. Miriam tiptoed to her bag and dug out a set of earbuds. If they could drown out her sister's endless complaints, they could drown out Levi and Nico in Levi's bedroom. Miriam eased onto the sofa, and plugged the earbuds into her phone and swiftly started playing the first album that came up in her playlist, then cranked up the volume. 'It was bound to happen sooner or later,' she murmured, picking up a book from the end table. Nico dropped the wad of tissues into the bin next to the bed. Levi blinked sleepily at him, a self-satisfied grin on his face. Nico slid down into the pillows, kissing the tip of Levi's nose. It was all very cozy.Until Levi’s stomach gurgled, reminding them they hadn't eaten for hours. Nico rolled over to his back, so he could peer at the alarm clock over their heads. 'It's nearly eleven,' he commented. 'We should get something to eat.' Nico gave Levi what Levi termed "his" smile -- the one where just the corner of Nico's mouth curved upward. 'I think I promised you my mom's waffles.''And then I should study,' Levi said, glaring at the stack of books and index cards on his desk. 'The other interns are coming over later so we can do this group study thing Jo Karev told us about.'Nico wound his arms around Levi's waist. 'I could help you study until then…' he murmured, nibbling the hollow of Levi's neck. 'Eat breakfast, come back down here. Kiss for every right answer.''Sure… Just keep your shirt on…' Levi told Nico, shifting until he straddled Nico. Levi playfully pinned Nico's wrists down, knowing if Nico wanted, he would have Levi flat on his back, with his ankles on Nico's shoulders in a heartbeat. 'You're really distracting without a shirt,' he said, letting his eyes roam over Nico's naked torso.Nico grinned smugly. 'It's not that distracting,' he protested. Levi snorted. 'Have you met you? You're a 3D Disney prince. All abs and good hair.''Fine. I'll keep my shirt on while you're studying, but afterward…''Ten seconds after they're gone. Just... be naked.' Levi's eyes darkened, and he lowered his mouth to Nico's, but stomach rumbled once more. 'This is not how I pictured this morning in my head.'Nico laughed softly, and wriggled out from under Levi. 'Shower. Waffles.' He stood up, smacked Levi on the bottom, and sauntered toward the small bathroom. 'Doctor's orders.'Upon further reflection, Levi decided a shower wasn't a bad idea anyway. They had been generous with the lube, and Levi was almost certain there was a drying smear of semen on his chest. Levi heaved a put-upon sigh and followed Nico into the bathroom. Clean and presentable, they made their way up the stairs, with Nico insisting on clothes. Cooking anything naked was an invitation to disaster, in his opinion.‘Morning…’ Miriam peered over the back of the couch and removed her earbuds. Levi stopped so abruptly, that Nico plowed into his back. ‘You’re supposed to be in Portland until tomorrow night,’ Levi gasped. ‘I was. I came back early. Your aunt Deborah gives me a headache.’ Miriam closed her book. ‘Hungry?’ she asked, getting to her feet. ‘You ought to be after that performance,’ she muttered, just loud enough for Nico and Levi to hear. Levi swallowed audibly. ‘Sorry…’ he murmured. ‘Don’t be sorry,’ Miriam chided gently. ‘You’re both grown men and I’m assuming it was all consensual and condoms were used?’ Levi nodded, face going beet red. Miriam patted Levi’s cheek. ‘Pancakes? You should have some carbs,’ she said, unable to resist one more teasing comment, and sailed off into the kitchen. Nico poked Levi in the ribs with an elbow. ‘Breathe.’‘My mom caught us having sex,’ Levi groaned. He buried his face in his hands. ‘I need my own place…’ Nico glanced toward the kitchen. Miriam had seemed more amused than anything else. 'If it makes you feel better, it's the first time I've been caught by a parent.' He tilted Levi's chin up to meet his eyes. 'It's not like she can ground you.''No, I guess not.''Come on. Don't know about you, but I worked up an appetite.' He ducked his head to kiss Levi. 'And maybe you can think about moving in with me.' He headed to the kitchen, leaving his astonished boyfriend standing in the middle of the living room.
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As much as Nico wanted to yank off Levi's scrub pants, he had to settle for grinding against Levi, like they were horny teenagers. There wasn't enough time, and the next time Nico had Levi's cock in his mouth, he wanted to take his sweet time about it. Levi's fingers dug into the bunched muscles of Nico's ass. 'Two more weeks,' Nico murmured. 'And you can finally make an honest man out of me.''Tell me again why you're staying with Link the week of the wedding?'Nico gave Levi the small, lopsided grin that was only ever for Levi. 'Because I want the wedding to be special.''You want the wedding night to be special,' Levi shot back, toying with one of Nico's nipples.Nico pressed his hips to Levi's a little harder. 'Yeah.' He lowered himself so his head rested next to Levi's. 'And I want the first time I see you on our wedding day is when you're walking toward me.''So cheesy,' Levi murmured affectionately. For all of Nico's rugged handsomeness, he was the sappy one in their relationship.The door flew open and someone flipped the light switch on. 'Out,' barked an unfamiliar voice.'I did warn you.' They could hear Meredith's voice from the hallway.'Don't care. This is the best on-call room for sleep.' Cristina Yang turned slightly to look at Meredith. 'You own the hospital. Couldn't you put up a "reserved" sign or something?'Nico and Levi scrambled off the bed. Cristina held up a hand, forestalling any attempt at communication from either Nico or Levi, and eyed Nico's bare torso. She speared Levi with her laserlike gaze, then turned her attention back to Nico. 'You are ridiculously sculpted. Even for this hospital.' She gave Levi a curt nod. 'Good job, Bambi.''It's Dr. Schmitt,' Levi snapped. 'Or Blood Bank if you insist on an asinine nickname.'Nico crouched for his discarded scrub top. 'Dude. That's Cristina Yang…''So? It doesn't mean she can be rude,' Levi huffed.Cristina studied Levi. 'Is this the one you told me about?' she asked Meredith.'Yep.''You've got balls, Blood Bank. I like that. You have the privilege of working with me this week.' She tossed a bag on the bed Levi and Nico had vacated. 'Are you any good, Prince Charming, or merely decorative?''I'm an orthopedic surgeon, ma'am,' Nico said respectfully.'Oh, you're useless to me.' Nico visibly bristled. 'Run along and go set some bones,' Cristina said in clear dismissal. Nico shoved his feet into his runners, then stalked from the room. Cristina held out a tablet to Levi. 'I want new everything. New labs, new scans. And I want it done by the time I wake up. Can you handle that, Blood Bank?''Yes, ma'am.' Levi took the tablet.'Oh, and Blood Bank?''Yes, ma'am?''I don't need explanations for what was going on with the living Ken doll. This is Grey+Sloan. Literally no one cares.'
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Nico folded himself to the floor and rested his head against his mother’s knee, watching the lights twinkle in the Christmas tree. ‘Mom?’‘Hmmm?’‘How did you know it was Dad?’‘Why do you ask?’Nico took a deep breath. ‘I met someone…’‘In Seattle?’Nico nodded. ‘What’s his name?’‘Levi.’ Nico glanced up at his mother. ‘He’s amazing. Cute. Nerdy as hell. And when he smiles, his whole face lights up.’Livia ran her fingers through Nico’s hair. ‘Sounds like a nice guy.’Nico twisted his head to look at Livia. ‘When I’m with him, he… He makes me feel…’ Nico exhaled. ‘Like I’m more than a set of abs and a pretty face.’‘Have any pictures?’ Nico nodded and pulled his phone from his pocket. He quickly thumbed through his photos until he found the best one of Levi and handed it to his mother. ‘Aww. He’s adorable.’ Livia swept her thumb across the screen scrolling through Nico’s photos, landing on one of the two of them in what was known in the hospital as the Interns’ Corridor. Nico sat on an old gurney behind Levi, with Levi’s back resting against Nico’s chest, their hands twined together. ‘You look happy,’ she remarked, returning Nico’s phone. ‘Yeah. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it feels too good to be true.’ He laughed quietly. ‘The first time he kissed me, I started a list of kids’ names and wondered if I could persuade him to be their biological father, so they could have his smile…’‘Oh, Nicola… you’ve got it bad.’'Yeah, I know.' Nico stretched out a hand so the family's latest cat, Milo, an unabashedly affectionate creature, could sniff his fingers. Milo climbed into Nico's lap and curled into a contented ball, purring like a rusty outboard motor. 'I'm scared he'll figure out I am just abs and hair, and the whole suave, got-my-shit-together Nico is an act.''Love is scary, Nicky. But good scary. And the ultimate leap of faith that when you do love someone, they love you back.' Livia resumed stroking Nico's hair. 'As for your dad…? When I brought David Kim home to meet my family, your grandfather flipped out.''Because Dad's Korean?' Nico blurted incredulously.'Yeah. I was supposed to marry the son of the neighborhood butcher. Lorenzo Romano. He got a scholarship to Pepperdine. But David…' Livia sighed. 'I was walking to the library to do some research for one of my classes, and your dad was trying to extricate a kitten from someone's car. He was covered in grease and cat hair, and had this tiny orange kitten cradled in his hands. The car's owner sped off, leaving David with this kitten. And my apartment was a block away, so I invited him up so he could clean up, and we started talking. We stayed up all night. And when as the sun came up, David kissed me.' Livia smiled down at Nico. 'And I started coming up with lists of names for our kids.''You're so cheesy, Mom.' Nico scoffed.'You get it honestly,' Livia told him.'Mom?''Hmmm?''I'm going back to Seattle right after dinner tomorrow.''Oh, now you're just trying to get out of helping with the dishes,' Livia snickered. 'Think you'll make it for new year in February?''I might be able to.'Livia tugged on Nico's hair and he tilted his head back. 'Maybe bring your Levi?''He's an intern, Mom. He barely gets a full day off a week.' Nico ran a finger over the top of Milo's head.Livia gazed at the top of her son's head. 'Then try for Christmas next year.'
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'Dr. Schmitt.' Link gestured to the bed. 'Present, please.' At Levi's obvious reluctance, Link added, 'You're not his spouse. Present.'Levi gulped. 'Dr. Nico Kim. Age thirty-two. Slipped on black ice in the parking lot last night and hyperextended the left knee. Scans revealed a partial tear to the anterior cruciate ligament and meniscus damage. Patient history states he completely tore both his ACL and MCL fifteen years ago, and that was successfully reconstructed with no complications. Dr. Kim is scheduled for surgery later this morning to repair the ACL and meniscus.''And why have we chosen to do surgery immediately, instead of delaying it?''Mostly because of the damage to the meniscus. We could recommend a regimen of physical therapy, and the ligament would heal on its own, but we'd still have to go back and do surgery to repair the meniscus. Studies have been mixed about ACL repair immediately after an injury, but Dr. Kim has requested surgery,' Levi explained, carefully not looking at Nico.'And what are the risks?' Link asked briskly.'By performing the surgery so soon after the injury, Dr. Kim might not regain full range of motion in the affected joint.'Nico crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the ceiling during Levi's recitation and Link's explanations to the interns clustered at the foot of his bed how the surgery would proceed. He'd known as soon as he landed on the pavement his ACL was torn. He'd felt the pop that haunted his dreams senior year of high school. 'Any questions, Dr. Kim?' Link asked cheerfully.Nico mutely shook his head. It was a routine surgery using an allograft He'd done it himself five times last month, including a rather severe injury on a young dancer.'All right, then. Dr. Schmitt, prep Dr. Kim for surgery when we finish rounds.''Seriously?' Nico exploded, wincing as he jostled his knee.'You don't want the surgery?' Link asked.'Levi shouldn't scrub in!' Nico nearly shouted. Levi closed his eyes for a moment, then turned to his group of interns. 'Guys, could you wait outside, please?' He herded them out of the door, then closed it firmly behind them, and closed the blinds. 'I don't have to scrub in.''I hate it when you make me act official,' Link said with an aggrieved expression. He leaned against the wardrobe, waiting as if he had nothing else to do until Nico looked up from his clenched fists. 'Levi's not your spouse.'Nico's face tightened. 'He's my partner. My boyfriend… We signed that stupid HR contract when he moved in with me,' he countered. 'As far as workplace policies go, he might as well be my spouse.'Levi's elbow jerked, making the blinds rattle. Nico and Link glanced at him, almost surprised to see him still in the room. 'Neither one of us should be treating him. Ethically speaking. If there were no other option, it'd be a different story, but…' Levi shrugged.Link pushed himself off the wardrobe. 'You want to leave Nico's knee in the hands of that hack, Sanders?' he scoffed.'I don't have a problem with you,' Nico said, directing his gaze at Link. 'I don't want you in there,' he added, with a pleading look at Levi.'You're willing to interfere with his education as a surgeon?' Link said incredulously. 'It's a one-hour procedure. I'm going to send you home this evening, if it all goes well.''No. I just don't want him to see me…''Guys, I'm right here.' Levi said quietly.Nico pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling frustrated tears prickle the corners of his eyes. 'I know what the ethics say,' he said between clenched teeth. 'No family, no close friends.''The same ethics say close friends might be good for you so they can advocate for you. You're not a doctor right now. You're a patient,’ Link retorted.'Link, please…' Nico begged.Levi had had enough. 'Respectfully, Dr. Lincoln, I quit.''You can't quit,' Link sighed.'Your service. Until Nico's no longer a surgical patient.' Levi straightened his lab coat. 'I think Dr. Bailey's got an abscessed bowel on the board later.' He left Nico's room and motioned to his interns to follow him.'Damn, he's fast for such a short guy,' one of the interns puffed. 'Thompson, do you want be on scut for a month?' Levi shot back.'No, sir.''Then knock it off.' Levi wound his way through the nurses, patients, carts, and groups of interns until he found Miranda at a nurses' station. 'Do you need a resident, Dr. Bailey?'Miranda looked up from the computer screen. 'Aren't you with Dr. Lincoln today?' An intern began to snigger, but quelling glance from Miranda cut it off and the intern turned it into a cough. 'Thompson, you're my scut monkey for two months,' she pronounced with satisfaction. 'Do that again and it'll be three.' She returned her attention to Levi. 'Why aren't you with Dr. Lincoln?''Dr. Kim is scheduled for an ACL repair at ten.''I see.' Miranda studied Levi's carefully blank face. 'I'll take your suck-ups for the day.''Thank you. Where should we start?’ Levi reached for a tablet.Miranda stared at Levi. 'I said, I'd take your suck-ups. Not you.''Have I offended you?'Miranda's expression softened momentarily. 'You and you! Go check my labs. The rest of' y'all go find Dr. Parker and make yourselves useful.' When the interns hesitated, she snapped, 'Go! Now.' They scattered in three directions. Once they were out of sight, Miranda walked around the nurses' station and grabbed Levi's elbow and all but dragged him into an empty patient room. 'Levi.'Levi's head flew up. Miranda Bailey never addressed interns or residents by their first names. 'The person you love -- that loves you -- is having surgery today.''It's a straightforward routine ACL reconstruction,' Levi began, but Miranda shook her head. 'Nothing is "routine" when it comes to surgery,' she told him. 'You know that. I don't care if Dr. Lincoln can do this with his eyes closed and a hand tied behind his back. You will be distracted and worried about Nico Kim until he's back in room, awake, and making a nuisance of himself, because he's a man who's used to issuing orders to patients, not being one,' Miranda huffed. 'You are going to go to the residents' lounge, change outta your scrubs and back into your streets. And go sit with Nico until they take him up to an OR. Then you're gonna sit in the waiting room and pace too much, and drink too much coffee, until Dr. Lincoln comes to tell you it's done, and Nico's in recovery. And when Nico wakes up, you can spoon feed him lime Jell-O to your heart's content. Or whatever it is he likes when he's been sick. Take a few days off. Men like Nico will act like they're dying when they have the common cold.' She nudged Levi. 'Go on now.''Thank you, Dr. Bailey.' Levi stuffed his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and trudged to the residents' lounge, where he stripped off his scrubs and threw them into the hamper in the corner. He quickly yanked on his jeans and pulled a t-shirt over his head. Levi grabbed the cardigan from his cubby and went back to Nico's room. Nico's face was turned toward the window. 'Can I come in?' Levi nervously pulled the cuffs of his cardigan over his hands.Nico didn't change position.Levi's fingers clenched on the edges of the cuffs. 'I know you don't think I'm inept. You never have.''I don't want you to be my surgeon,' Nico said, turning his head on the pillow. ''I don't want you to be Dr. Levi Schmitt. I just want you to be Levi, the guy who cares about me, and not that I might not regain full range of motion.' He carefully shifted, and patted the mattress. Levi gingerly perched on the edge, eyeing Nico's elastic bandage encased knee. 'You didn't call my mom, did you?''No. I called mine.'Nico exhaled gustily. If his mother had known about his knee, she'd have been on the next plane to Seattle. Livia was a hoverer. He'd call her after the surgery. Maybe tomorrow. Or after Levi returned to work.Levi rubbed the edge of the sleeve of Nico's hospital gown between his fingers. 'I texted yours…'
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'Remind me again why I'm at a wedding for a couple I don't know?''I know them.' Meredith gave Cristina a glass of wine. 'And you're here for the free food and booze.''Oh, right.' She clinked glasses with Meredith. They joined the other attendings at a table. 'Did anyone think to warn them?' Cristina asked, gesturing toward Nico and Levi, walking out onto a dance floor, hand-in-hand.'What? That you invite a bunch of doctors to your wedding they're going to drink all the good booze?' Alex guessed. 'Which is what every single one of you did at mine!' He caught Miranda giving him the same kind of look she had back in his early resident days. 'Except you, Bailey. You were off saving lives.''Warn them about what?' Owen asked, sipping his Scotch.'Uh, Seattle Grace, Seattle Grace Mercy West, Grey+Sloan relationships don't end well,' Cristina said pointedly.'She's got a point,' Meredith said, nodding. 'Alex and Izzy.'Alex chuckled. 'Sloan and the She Shepherd.''I only slept with Mark Sloan a few times,' Amelia objected, setting a bottle of sparkling water on the table between herself and Richard. 'It was basically a rite of passage.''The other She Shepherd,' Alex amended. 'Addison.''Yang and Burke,' Richard supplied, pouring himself some water. 'Yang and Hunt,' Alex said, saluting Richard with his glass.'April and Jackson,' Jo said.'Callie and Arizona,' Jackson retorted.'Doesn't count,' Meredith proclaimed. 'They got back together.''Hold on, now,' Richard interrupted. 'Are we talking long-term relationships or on-call room booty calls?''I could live the rest of my life and never hear you say booty call again, Chief,' Jo muttered.'George!' Meredith squealed. 'George and Callie, then George and Izzy.''I forgot how much 007 got around,' Cristina said, with a fond smile.'Richard and my mother.' Meredith's eyes creased in amusement. 'Yeah, but you got me out of it,' Maggie reminded her.'There have been some good ones,' Richard said, sipping his water. He pointed at Meredith. 'You and Derek.''Bailey and Gramps,' Jo cooed. 'That's right,' Miranda said. 'Y'all fools better remember that.''Jo and Alex.' Jackson toasted the couple.'Sloan and Lexipedia,' Cristina said suddenly. Meredith leaned into her for a moment. 'If they'd lived, they would have had a dozen kids by now.''The Twisted Sisters,' Owen snorted.'The what?' Maggie asked.'It's what Derek called Meredith and Cristina.''Well. I would call her to help me get rid of a body,' Meredith allowed. 'Drive the getaway car,' Cristina added.'What about me?' Maggie asked, with slight indignance. 'Or Amelia?''Oh, you freak out too much for a clean getaway,' Meredith laughed.Maggie nodded slowly. 'That's true,' she said, sipping her wine.'You're not wrong,' Amelia agreed.'Yang, did you and Grey ever have a torrid affair?' Miranda asked.'Not unless you count dance parties and tequila.''I don't.''Then no.'Meredith watched Nico and Levi dance. The ballroom seemed to have faded from their attention. Everyone could get up, leave the room, and go home, and Nico and Levi might never notice. It had been like that for her and Derek. Especially when they did a surgery together. Nico leaned down to murmur something in Levi's ear, making the younger man laugh. She gestured toward them.'Those two.'
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'Nico? Could you…?' Levi gestured to the top of Lily's head. She had wrapped herself around one of Levi's legs. Nico pushed his coffee mug toward the center of the table and walked into the kitchen, where Levi was attempting to crack eggs into a bowl. He bent and peeled the giggling child off her father and hoisted her to his hip and rubbed her nose with his. She was every inch Levi's child from his wavy brown hair and wide hazel eyes to the sunny smile. 'Think you can help me set the table?' Lily smiled with heart-stopping sweetness. 'Okay.' Nico kissed the top of her head noisily, and set her on the floor, swatting her nightshirt clad bottom gently. She darted between her brothers and waited by the drawer that held cutlery. Nico carefully deposited five forks into her pudgy hands. She trotted to the table, highlighted by the early summer sunshine streaming through the windows. 'One for Daddy… one for Papa… one for Jon… one for Chris…' she chanted, laying each one at its respective place on the round table. Nico followed with plates.'Ow!' Chris jammed a thumb into his mouth, the knife clattering the the counter. Levi ripped off a paper towel from the roll on the counter and handed it to his younger son. He had Nico's crooked half-smile, and at ten was already as tall as Levi. 'Apply some pressure,' Levi ordered, turning off the burner under the skillet. He rummaged in an overhead cabinet on his tiptoes, just able to grasp the edges of the first aid kit. 'Lemme see.' Levi held out a hand, and Chris stretched out his injured one. Levi peeled back the paper towel. 'Doesn't look too bad,' he murmured soothingly. The cut wasn't terribly deep, but it still oozed blood. 'Go wash it with soap and water, and we'll get a band-aid on it.' Chris nodded, and turned to the sink. When had he gotten so tall? Levi wondered. Chris was a blend of nature and nurture. The childhood softness was fading from his face, and Nico's bone structure had begun to assert itself. Levi figured Chris would be as tall as Nico, given how tall he was now. But Chris was as much a nerd as Levi had ever been. 'Papa…' Chris thrust his thumb under Levi's nose. 'Right. Spider-Man or Deadpool?' 'Miles Morales or Peter Parker?' Chris asked, eyes narrowed, snatching his thumb away. 'Miles Morales.' Levi held up the band-aid and Chris allowed him to spread ointment over the cut, then cover it with the bandage. 'Good going, loser,' Jon snickered, picking up Chris' abandoned task. 'Dad!' Chris protested, turning to Nico. 'Jon, don't call your brother a loser,' Nico sighed. Jonathan had been left as a newborn at Station 19. Ben Warren had been the one to bring the cold, lethargic, premature baby into the ER, the umbilical cord still attached. Levi had spent the bulk of the next day sitting in the PICU, the baby cradled on his bare chest until his stats had stabilized. It was Nico who suggested fostering the baby while CPS had searched for his biological parents. Whoever Jon's biological mother was, she had vanished into thin air. When nobody stepped forward to claim Jon, Levi had pushed his laptop toward Nico, the application to adopt already open and half filled out. Nico had chosen coordinating outfits for their court date to finalize the adoption. Nico shooed the boys to the table with a stern admonishment to keep an eye on Lily, lest she spill her cup of milk. He pinched a few leaves of mint from the line of herbs they grew in the windowsill and deftly minced them. He added the mint to the large bowl of fruit salad Jon and Chris had made, while Levi resumed scrambling eggs. 'Remember what Sunday mornings were like before we had kids?' 'Cold pizza and…?' Levi cocked an eyebrow. Nico laughed and kissed the back of Levi's neck. 'Ew! Dad…' groaned Jon. Levi peered around Nico at the table, then glanced at Nico. 'Early bedtime for everyone tonight?' Nico laughed softly, nuzzling the back of Levi's head. 'Definitely.'
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Nico paused outside the interns’ locker room, quickly glanced inside, and kept walking. He hadn’t seen Levi in a few days, mostly because the intern was on Amelia’s service in neuro, but also because Levi seemed to be avoiding him. Nico wondered if the whole episode in the ambulance and what happened in the on-call room later that night had spooked him at all. That had happened once in college. The guy had grown up in a family so conservative, they made Nico's parents look like permissive hippies. They'd gone to a party together, downed a few beers, and bored with it all, went back to their dorm, to Marcus' room to watch movies, because he had a single. Nico hadn't made it a secret that he was gay. Marcus had been emboldened by the beer and darkness, running his fingertips over the back of Nico's hand. Nico hadn't been surprised when Marcus kissed him. He might have been premed and spent nearly all his spare time studying, but Nico wasn't blind. Marcus wasn’t subtle in broadcasting his attraction to Nico. He had been surprised when Marcus unzipped his jeans and slipped a hand inside, though. It had taken longer to get their clothes off than it had to come in each other's hands. They were both inexperienced and clumsy, but it hadn't mattered. It never did when you were only nineteen.After that weekend, Marcus averted his eyes and avoided Nico like the plague when they saw each other in the dorm.Nico had been hurt, but he chalked it up to Marcus' upbringing and moved on with his life.Moments like this made Nico realize how much he didn't know about Levi. Had Levi been raised in an environment similar to Marcus? It was possible. Levi never mentioned his father, but had talked about living in his mother's basement. Had his parents split up when Levi was in his teens? Had his father been a homophobic nightmare? Levi had mentioned knowing he was attracted to boys, but not what it meant.'Shit.' Nico threw his empty coffee cup in the recycling bin and doubled back to the interns' locker room. Casey was blearily brushing his teeth. 'Hey, Parker… Seen Schmitt around?'Casey spit into the sink and wiped a bit of toothpaste off his tidy beard. 'That hallway in one of the really old parts of the hospital. It looks like they store old equipment there. Some of it still says Seattle Grace. He was on a gurney trying to study.''Is he on-call tonight?''I think so.' Casey rinsed his toothbrush and picked up the tube of toothpaste.'Thanks, man.' Nico only had a vague idea of where Levi was, but one of the nurses in labor and delivery knew exactly where it was and gave him directions.Levi was sitting cross-legged on a gurney next to a window, a textbook propped in his lap, swathed in one of his cardigans, knit in an unbecoming shade of brown straight out of the seventies. Nico walked forward slowly, as if Levi were a skittish kitten. 'Hey…'Levi's shoulders stiffened. 'Mind if I join you?' Nico held out one of the cups of coffee he'd bought on his way down to Levi's hiding place. Levi shook his head. 'Did I do something wrong?''No.''Do you regret what happened in the ambulance?'Levi's eyes widened. 'No!''Dude, you gotta give me something to work with here. Every time I see you, you nope it outta the room like I’m Typhoid Mary... 'Levi grabbed the coffee Nico offered and took a sip. 'I have… concerns…'Nico frowned. 'Okay… So tell me...''But you said you couldn't be my gay sherpa,' Levi said defensively.Shit. Nico set his own cup in the windowsill and slid onto the gurney. 'Can we forget I said that? It was rude. Link ripped me a new one for saying that.' Levi's brows rose in skepticism. 'Well, as much as Link rips anyone anything,' Nico said.Levi pressed his lips together and lifted the coffee to his mouth. 'Experience,' Levi mumbled.'Everyone has to start somewhere.' Nico put his hand next to Levi's, their smallest fingers just touching. 'Experience doesn't always mean that you're good at something.' Nico pursed his lips. 'I dated someone when I was a resident. He had experience.' Evan was his last serious relationship. Nico exhaled forcefully. 'It didn't make him a better lover.' Nico retrieved his coffee and took a long sip. In fact, Evan had been demanding, uncompromising. He insisted that Nico bottom, regardless of what Nico wanted; put his pleasure first; and refused to even go down on Nico, claiming it wasn't something a top would do. 'He was an ass.' Levi curled his smallest finger around Nico's. 'I'd rather be with someone who has less experience, but does the whole give-and-take thing willingly, than someone with experience and is only in it for themselves.''But you said…''I know what I said,' Nico said shortly. 'My coming out what not really a joyous revelation. And I didn't want to watch someone else go through what I did.' He shifted on the gurney so he faced Levi. 'I am sorry. It makes me a shitty friend.' Nico brought their hands to his mouth, and brushed his lips over the center of Levi's palm. 'When you said it had been your first kiss with man, it was…' Nico trailed off. 'I finally got what my ninth grade English teacher was talking about with the whole, "What light through yonder window breaks." I don't think I could handle it if someone killed that.'Levi deliberately set his coffee in the windowsill, then climbed into Nico's lap, wound his legs around his hips. Nico thought he'd heard Levi mumble, 'See? Sunsword,' before Levi's hands slid onto his shoulders, then up to cup the back of Nico's head. Levi kissed him, softly and sweetly. Nico hummed in his throat, one hand spread against the small of Levi's back, the other following the curve of his ass.Levi pulled back slightly. 'How far… I mean, when…' Levi flushed and rested his forehead against Nico's, his eyes shut. 'How far do you want to go?''As far as you're comfortable with,' Nico tilted his head and his tongue flicked over the throbbing pulse at the base of Levi's throat. 'And only when you're ready.'Levi's mouth worked for a moment before he managed, 'Does it hurt?''Does what hurt?''Sex. I mean the guy… the one…’ Levi took a deep breath. Use your words, Levi , he told himself. He slid off Nico's lap. He couldn't think with Nico's mouth so close to his skin. ‘The bottom,’ he said, so softly it was difficult to hear even in the yawning silence of the isolated and deserted hallway.'Oh.' Nico gave Levi's hand what he hoped was reassuring squeeze. 'No. I mean it shouldn't.' He picked up his cooling coffee.'Because it does not look comfortable.'Nico nearly choked on a sip of coffee. 'What did you do on your day off?'Levi desperately wanted to scrunch himself into a ball. 'I was looking at… you know… on the internet.''You could have called me,' Nico said with a gentle nudge.'I don't have your number.''Gimme your phone.' Nico held out his free hand. Levi pulled it out of the pocket of his scrub pants handed it to him. 'Password's 6426.' Nico called his own phone, added the number to Levi's contacts, then did the same to his own. 'And I wasn't looking at that to get myself off,’ Levi huffed. ‘I just picture you without a shirt. I was trying to pick up some pointers,' he admitted. 'I wanted to do it better next time we both have a day off. If there's a next time.'Nico coughed. 'You did great last time…' He picked up one of Levi's hands. 'There will be a next time.' Nico ran his thumb across Levi’s palm. ‘Why do you expect to be the bottom?’ he asked, keeping his eyes focused on their hands.‘Because I’m smaller… I mean shorter than you are.’‘Height doesn’t matter. It matters what you like.’Levi toyed with a loose thread on his sweater. 'Do you expect me to wax my dick?' Nico did do a spit take then. He took the tissue Levi dug from his cardigan pocket and wiped the coffee dripping from his chin. 'I don't even do that!''The guys in the videoes do…' Levi glanced at Nico through his lashes. 'And they all look like you, and I look like Samwise Gamgee's younger brother.''I have got to watch Lord of the Rings …' Nico muttered. He tilted Levi's face up. 'When I said you were my type, I meant it. I don't understand half the sci-fi or fantasy or whatever references you make, but I love hearing you talk about them.' Nico slid off the gurney. 'Come on…''Where are we going?''I took the chief's advice, and checked out that weird room in radiology on four.''Okay.''It's quiet this time of night.' Nico half smiled. 'We can make out like teenagers.' He held up his right hand in the Boy Scout salute. ‘Nothing below the waist. Scout’s honor.’ He picked up Levi's textbook and stuffed it into his backpack. 'I'll even leave my shirt on.'Levi managed to slide off the side of the gurney without falling on his face. 'Shirts off, and we'll see about the rest,' he countered, toying with the drawstring of Nico's scrub pants.Nico blew out a slow breath. 'Don't forget to lock the door.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nico propped his feet on the coffee table, and let his head fall back. He did enjoy Christmas, but it was exhausting. Christmas Eve with his mother's family. Christmas Day with his father's. Way too much food. Not enough sleep. His phone buzzed and Nico dug it out of the back pocket of his jeans.
What are you doing?
Nico's thumbs tapped on the screen. Waiting for my aunt's family to get here.
What are you wearing?
Seriously???
A picture of Levi appeared. He was curled in his bed, bare-chested, eyes soft with sleep, hair tousled and falling into his eyes. Boxers. The ones Mom gave me for Hanukkah .
The ones with dancing dreidels?
Yeah. Nico laughed to himself. He knew the boxers in question. They were eye-wateringly garish. Three dots flashed on the screen. U?
Ugly Christmas sweater. Kim family tradition.
Pics or it didn't happen .Nico quickly glanced around the living room, then held out his phone and took a selfie, a dubious expression on his face, then sent it to Levi.That is the ugliest sweater I've ever seen ,' Levi texted back. Nico could picture him howling with laughter. If things continued to go well, Levi would be sitting next to him in his own ugly Christmas sweater. Although knowing Levi, it would be an ugly Hanukkah sweater, if such a thing existed. Not even you can make it look good , Levi added, with several hysterically laughing emojis. 'Nico!' Annabel Kim, Nico's favorite cousin, vaulted into the sofa next to him. 'Who're you talking to?''Friend.'Annabel snatched the phone from Nico's hand. She found the picture Levi had texted a few minutes earlier. 'Oh. My. God. Who is this?' she squealed.Nico grabbed his phone. 'I told you. A friend.''Oh, please. Friends don't send I-just-woke-up-looking-sexy-pics.''Jeez, Annabel, I don't think Grandma heard you.'Annabel took back the phone. 'He's freakin' adorable. Like a fluffy bunny rabbit. I want to smoosh his face.''Remember when I told you to come visit me in Seattle?''Yeah!''Don't.''I won't smoosh his cheeks.''Thanks,' Nico sighed. 'Can I have my phone back?''Here.' Annabel tossed it in his lap. Nico unlocked his phone. Levi had texted: Maybe I'll call you later. ICU shift at 7.
I'll come see you.
???
Coming back after dinner. Miss you.
Levi sent a string of heart-eyed emojis.
Miss you, too.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Levi sat on the edge of the bench in front of his locker. Thick fog had caused a fifty-six car pileup on I-5 right at the beginning of morning rush hour. Eighteen hours later, the ER board was clear, and Owen told Levi in no uncertain terms he was over his hours and had to go home and not set foot in the hospital again until Thursday morning.Easier said than done. Every muscle Levi had ached, and he wasn't sure he could actually walk on his throbbing feet. He knew he ought to shower, because he could smell himself, but honestly, after the effort it took to remove his scrub top, Levi just wanted to use one of the towels for a pillow and sleep on the bench under his lab coat. Nico trudged into the interns' locker room. Link had given him all the relatively uncomplicated surgical fracture repairs, and there were many. MVCs were an orthopedic surgeon's candy jar. Levi sat staring into his open locker, scrub top dangling from his fingers. He was either emotionally numb, or so tired he couldn't have told you his own name. Or both. Nico had been there more than once as an intern. He wearily slid onto the bench behind Levi, and wound one arm around Levi's waist and the other around his chest, pulling Levi against him. 'Hey…' Nico murmured. Levi's head fell back and rested on Nico's shoulder. 'Get changed. I'll take you home.'Levi blinked. 'I'll wake up Mom,' he slurred.'I'll take you to my apartment,' Nico amended. ''M off for two days,' Levi yawned.'Good. You need the sleep.' Nico tugged the scrub top from Levi's lax fingers, balled it up, and tossed it into the hamper at the end of the bench. He gave Levi a gentle push. 'The sooner you get changed, the sooner you can pass out in my nice, warm bed.''Beds are nice,' Levi giggled. He leaned forward and grasped the edge of his locker and hauled himself to his feet, He pulled his t-shirt over his head, unconcerned that the back was bunched up in the collar. He tugged at the knot in the drawstring of his scrub pants and let them fall, pooling around his ankles.In spite of his exhaustion, Nico had to smother a laugh. 'Is that what I think it is?' He fingered the images printed on the rear of Levi's boxers.Levi glanced wearily over his shoulder. 'Cartoon dragons with menorahs… Mom thought they were funny…' He grabbed his jeans and sat on the bench to put them on. Nico tugged the hem of Levi's t-shirt free and pushed himself to his feet, then retrieved Levi's pants to put them in the hamper. While Levi put his work runners into his locker and put on his rather battered street shoes, Nico grabbed Levi's coat and helped him put it on. 'I don't think I've ever been so tired,' Levi said.Nico gently steered him through the door and to an elevator. 'When was the last time you slept?''Got a couple of hours Sunday,' Levi admitted. 'Been studying for the intern exam.'The elevator doors opened. Nico was relieved it was empty. He pulled Levi into the elevator and wound an around around Levi's waist, encouraging him to lean against Nico's side. 'Remind me to fuss at you when you're more awake to hear it.'Levi's eyes drifted shut. 'Mmm-hmmm.'The ride down to the ground floor was blessedly quick. The ding announcing their arrival seemed to rouse Levi enough that he stumbled into the lobby on his own power. 'My car's just over there,' Nico told Levi, pointing to the left. 'Blue Prius, right?' 'Yeah.' Nico unlocked the car and Levi opened the passenger side door and collapsed into the seat, fumbling to fasten the seatbelt. Nico left him alone, knowing Levi had his limits when it came to accepting help, especially when he felt as if people were trying to coddle him. Nico slid into the driver's seat and started the car.The opening beats of Hamilton's "Cabinet Battle #1" boomed from the speakers. Levi jerked upright in the seat, while Nico scrabbled for the volume. 'Shit! I'm sorry!' Nico hissed. When the car stopped throbbing, he grimaced in chagrin. 'I'm sorry,' he repeated.'I'm awake now,' Levi said wryly. 'Is that what you listen to to wake yourself up in the morning?''Sometimes.' Nico turned his car into the street. 'Are you hungry?''I'm not sure… I ate a couple of protein bars when I had a few minutes between patients,' Levi mused. 'Milkshake!' he exclaimed. 'Turn here! Turn here! There's this crazy diner that's open twenty-four hours and their milkshakes are the best.' Nico parked the car and Levi bounced from the seat, making Nico wonder where he found the energy. He trailed after Levi and joined him at the counter. Levi was leaning over the counter. 'Chocolate in a to-go cup,' Levi told the purple-haired college students taking orders. 'And what he wants,' he added, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at Nico.'Uh…' Nico squinted at the chalkboard menu, filled with squiggly writing. 'How's the mint Oreo?'The college student nodded approvingly. 'It's a good one.' She entered their orders into the iPad mounted to the counter. 'Twelve fifty-three.' Levi dug a crumpled twenty from his jeans pocket. 'It'll be just a few.' She gave Levi his change. 'You guys look tired. Take a load off.''So how do you know this place?' Nico asked, as they moved to wait for their milkshakes.Levi shrugged. 'The Dungeons and Dragons group would end up here at least once a week. We worked our way through the entire milkshake menu.'''Here ya go.' Another lanky college student set two cups on the counter. Levi picked them up and handed Nico his cup, then walked back out to the car.'How do you do it?''What?''Wake up like that! When I found you in the locker room, you looked like you could fall asleep standing up.'Levi tried his milkshake. 'So good,' he said. 'Oh, I'll crash when I stop moving.' He took another sip of his milkshake. 'So as soon as I get back in the car.' Nico opened the driver's side door. 'You can't keep doing this,' he commented.Levi got into the car. 'Doing what? Drinking milkshakes? You're probably right. I'll get fat and probably go bald.''You need more sleep.''I'll sleep when my residency is over.'Nico started the car. He couldn't touch that. He'd said the same thing himself when he was a resident. He turned into the street, and began to drive to his apartment. Sure enough, Levi began to droop in the quiet car. 'Do you want me to keep you awake long enough to get into my apartment?''Yeah.''Why do you wear those sweaters when you're not working?''They're warm!' Levi said. 'And my grandmother made them.'Nico shook his head and grinned. 'The one you wear in the hospital is the same color of a couch my dad's mother had.' He glanced at Levi. 'She got it from her mother. Straight outta the seventies, man.''I found them in the basement when I moved back after med school. They'd been there since my grandpa moved in with us when I was eleven.' He took a long sip of his milkshake. 'My grandmother did a lot of knitting. There was this massive plastic bin full of them. Packed with cedar.''Better than mothballs.' Nico reached for his milkshake. 'Your grandmothers get along?''Mostly. They complained about each other's cooking behind each other's back, though. You know… Hannah's matzoh balls, so dense and not a single floater. You could anchor a boat in Puget Sound with one of them… Malka's chicken, it's so dry, like eating cardboard.' he mimicked.Nico laughed. 'Both of my grandmothers lived with us. My dad's mom moved in with us when I was twelve or thirteen. And my mom's mother when I started high school. There was always kimchi in the pantry or fridge, and Grandma likes it spicy. So you had to suck it up. There was always a lasagna in the freezer after Nonna moved in. Dinners could get weird.''Meatballs and kimchi?' Levi snickered.'Something like that, yeah.' Nico parked the car and switched it off. 'My grandmothers were fusion before fusion was cool.' He glanced at the large Victorian house looming behind Levi's head. 'That's a lotta stairs.' He studied Levi, then the house. 'You think you can make it up to my apartment?'Levi stared open-mouthed at the house. 'You live here?''Yeah.''I was not expecting this…' Levi got out of the car. 'I thought you'd live somewhere sleek with lots of windows and a midcentury vibe.''I have half the second floor.' Nico came around the car to stand next to Levi. He gestured with his chin. 'The window in the tower? That's my bedroom.'Levi grinned broadly, face shining. 'You have a bedroom in a tower,' he said in amazement.'I have a bedroom in a tower.' He took Levi's hand and led him up the porch steps to the front door. 'There's a couple of new toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet over the bathroom sink,' Nico said softly. He had an irrational fear of waking his neighbors, even though nobody had ever complained about his erratic hours. 'Want a shower before you go to bed?''I should,' Levi said ruefully. 'But all I want to do is sleep. I'll settle for washing my face.' 'We can figure out clothes in the morning.' He led Levi up the stairs and unlocked the door on the left side of the hallway. Levi peered around the room, dimly lit by a lamp in the corner. It was… Cozy. There was no other word for it. And completely at odds with the Nico presented to the general public. He took the half-empty cup from Levi's slack fingers. 'Bathroom's just through there.' He pointed to a door on the right side of the apartment, while toeing off his shoes. 'There's clean towels in the cupboard next to the tub.' Nico set both of their half-drunk milkshakes in the kitchen sink, and waited until he heard the water running before he strode into his bedroom. He quickly gathered up the dirty socks littering the floor next to the bed and threw them into basket in a corner. He wasn't really a slob, but the hardwood floors of the apartment were cold, so he always waited until he got into bed before taking his socks off. Nico bit his lower lip. They hadn’t gone further than handjobs or blowjobs. Levi hadn’t indicated he wanted more, but this was the first time they’d been alone in a room with a bed large enough to easily accommodate them both. The water was still running in the bathroom, so Nico opened the nightstand drawer. He’d bought the condoms and lube after the windstorm, but their schedules hadn’t meshed well. Before he could talk himself out of it, Nico unscrewed the lid on the bottle of lube and peeled off the small foil circle covering the mouth of the bottle. The water shut off and Nico just barely managed to replace the lid and close the drawer before Levi appeared in the bedroom door, dressed in his t-shirt and boxers, carrying his jeans and shoes. Nico stood and beckoned for Levi to come inside. ‘You can put your clothes on the bench,’ Nico murmured.‘Which side?’ Levi asked. ‘What?’‘Which side do you sleep on?’ They never considered on which side of the bed to sleep during their shared naps wedged into on-call rooms beds. Levi usually ended up on the side closest to the wall.‘Middle mostly,’ Nico admitted. ‘But I prefer the right.’ He took Levi’s clothes from his unresisting hands. ‘You know what? It doesn’t matter…’. He deposited Levi’s clothes on the bench and turned back the duvet. 'Get in. I'm just gonna go brush my teeth.'Levi climbed into the bed and settled into the pillows with a groan as his muscles relaxed. He fought to stay awake, hoping Nico would come to bed soon. Nico padded back into the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt. He tossed it into the hamper, quickly followed by his pants and joined Levi, who was curled on his side, facing Nico. 'I was not expecting this,' Levi confessed.'You thought I'd make you sleep on the couch?' Nico teased, rolling on his side. 'This.' Levi swept a hand over their heads, indicating the bedroom. 'My bedroom?''Bedroom, apartment…' Levi tugged the duvet a little higher on his shoulder. 'I guess I was expecting lots of black leather, chrome, and glass.' He grinned sleepily. 'Hot single guy furniture.' He shifted until Nico could spoon him. It was how they managed in on-call rooms, and Levi wasn't sure he could share a bed with Nico and sleep any other way.'Hot single guy with med school debt,' Nico corrected. 'And a mom who timed buying new living room furniture when I started my internship.' He slid his arm under Levi's neck. 'Go to sleep.''Mmmmmm.' A few deep breaths later, and Levi was slack with sleep of deep exhaustion. Nico brushed his lips over the back of Levi's neck, and draped his other arm over Levi's waist, pulling him a little closer. Nico closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Levi took a deep breath and climbed the basement stairs. He ambled toward the kitchen, where his mother held a bowl aloft, coaxing a mass of bread dough to the counter. ‘Morning,’ he said.‘Morning, honey. Sleep well?’‘Yeah.’ Levi watched her use a bench scraper to divide the dough in half. ‘Want some help?’‘Sure!’ Miriam moved to make room for Levi at the kitchen island. She handed him the bench scraper after cutting her half of the dough into three pieces.Levi pulled the other half of the dough toward him and carefully cut it into six balls, and began to roll one ball into a long rope. ‘Mom…?’‘Hmmm?’Levi opened his mouth, but the words stuck in his throat. Just say it… Nico said she already knows, anyway… ‘Anyone coming for dinner tonight?’‘Michael Bergman… Audrey Feldman… I think Joel Krantz…’ Miriam murmured, weaving the three ropes of dough into a braid, tucking the ends under. ‘Are you working tonight?’Levi rolled another ball of dough into a rope and shook his head. ‘No.’ He nudged his mother’s ankle with his sock-covered toes. ‘I like Joel,’ he commented, setting the rope aside, and grabbing another ball of dough.‘What are you saying?’ Miriam glanced at Levi askance.He looked at her over the rims of his glasses. ‘You should go out with him,’ he said carefully. ‘He’s been having Shabbat dinner with us since my bar mitzvah. He brings your favorite flowers. He helps with the dishes.’ Levi arranged the ropes of dough in parallel lines, then pinched the ends together. ‘Grandpa and I always thought you should at least date him.’‘I see…’Levi began to deftly braid the strands together. ‘And I’m at the hospital a lot, so you could have him over…’. He waggled his brows suggestively.‘Levi Elijah!’ Miriam swatted him with a dish towel. ‘Is your friend Nico free tonight? He could come, too. You should have someone your age at the table.’ She didn’t miss the flush that spread over Levi’s face.Levi swallowed. ‘I can ask…’ he said in a strangled voice.‘He’s a very nice young man.’ Miriam continued, hiding a grin as Levi’s hands faltered on the braid. Come on, honey… just say it… Levi finished the braid and pinched the ends together, tucking them under. He fussed with covering the loaf, avoiding Miriam’s eye. ‘I’m just… I’m going to…’‘Levi.’‘MomI’mgay.’ Levi's hands rested on the edge of the counter, and he bent forward from the hips, forehead almost touching the counter. He was breathing too fast. I'm going to hyperventilate if I don't calm down. In-two-three-four, out-two-three-four. He continued to force himself to take measured breaths until the slightly hysterical feeling passed. He peeked at Miriam over his bent elbow. 'Did you hear me?'Miriam pried one of his hands off the counter and held it between hers. 'Say it again.'Levi straightened himself and gazed wide-eyed at her. 'Mom…' Deep breath in… 'I'm gay.'Miriam let go of Levi's hand and used both hands to tilt his head down. She kissed his forehead like she'd done when he was small. 'How do you feel?'Levi stared at Miriam. 'Like the real me. Finally.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Meredith paused in front of the nurses' station in ICU. Feeling a little foolish for doing something Addison Montgomery had done, she set a small cup of hot chocolate in front of Levi, looking more than a little glassy-eyed and the worse for wear after yesterday. Levi frowned at the cup, then up at Meredith. 'One of the surgeons who worked here when I was a resident did this when we lost a patient,' she told him. 'You don't have to drink it. You're not obligated to honor someone else's woo,' she added wryly.
Levi's hand curled around the cup and he slowly took a sip.
Meredith perched in the chair next to him. 'One day, you will have your patient. The one that died on your watch. The one you will see every time you treat a patient. The one who pushes you to work harder. To be creative. To make the impossible possible. To find the will to speak up when something isn't right. Maybe Natasha's your patient. Maybe it's someone else.' She gazed at him for a moment, then stood up. 'You did a good job with Natasha. Now go spend some time outside this hospital.' Meredith briskly strode away, leaving Levi at the nurses' station.
Without quite knowing how he got there, Levi found himself bundled into one of the hospital's fleece jackets, sitting in a patch of feeble February sunshine, cradling the now-empty cup in his hands. He sat there for who knew how long until someone blocked the watery sun, casting Levi in a chilly shadow. 'You okay?' Nico asked.
Levi looked up and squinted. 'Yeah.'
Nico tugged the zipper of his jacket up a little higher and tightened his scarf before sitting next to Levi. He rested an elbow on the back of the bench, letting his hand rest lightly on the back of Levi's neck, fingertips moving in small circles. There hadn't been time for more than a stolen embrace in a stairwell in the aftermath of Natasha and Garrett's impromptu wedding last night before Nico had been called down to the pit on a page for a romantic proposal gone wrong, and spent the next several hours in surgery. Levi inched closer so their bodies just touched and he could feel the warmth radiating from Nico. 'I can hear your brain spinning,' Nico murmured.
'I was thinking about last night.' Levi lifted the empty cup to his lips, and seemed surprised to find it so. Levi shook his head. 'They had five years together,' he said. 'More than many people ever have.' He tilted his face upward toward the sunshine. 'No vents,' he said suddenly. 'No extraordinary measures. No machines.'
'Levi, I--' The words stuck in Nico's throat. His hand cupped the back of Levi's head, fingers threading through his hair. 'Okay.' He pulled Levi closer and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 'Okay.'
'I'd rather have five years with you, than a lifetime without ever knowing you,' Levi continued, his voice breaking.
Nico threw caution to the wind, because their relationship wasn't public knowledge in the hospital, turned Levi's face to his, and kissed him hard.
'Did you kiss get me to stop talking?' Levi said breathlessly, breaking the kiss.
Nico's thumb swept over Levi's cheek. 'No.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jo Karev strode into the cafeteria. It was Alex's weekly breakfast for the staff, and Levi stood in the line behind Nico Kim, arguing over the merits of capers with bagels and lox. Jo watched Levi for several moments, so much more at ease in his skin than he'd been as a sub-i. She followed them to a corner table and plopped in one of the empty chairs around it, oblivious to their displeasure. 'Did you know you were gay when you slept with me?' she asked, taking a swig of her coffee.
'A little louder next time, Josephine,' Link said, walking by with his own bagel. 'The bodies in the morgue didn't hear you.' He took the fourth chair at the table with a significant look at Nico, who quickly removed his hand from Levi’s thigh.
'Shut up!' Jo laughed.
Levi felt his face erupt into flames. He set down the bagel in his hand and glanced at Nico, who was giving him that bemused look he'd had on his face during the whole Sunsword speech. 'You slept with Jo?' Nico muttered.
'It was just one time!' Levi protested. 'And it was not… I mean, I wasn't… It wasn't mindblowing. For anybody,' he managed. 'And it wasn't your fault,' he added hastily, turning to Jo. 'It's not that you're not lovely or anything…' He grabbed the cup of orange juice and drank it down in one gulp, then straightened his shoulders. 'It was me. I was terrible.'
'Not one of my best nights,' Jo agreed.
'So to answer your question: sort of. I knew I was attracted to men. But when you're as much of a nerd as I am, the idea of sex is kind of abstract, so it didn't register.' Levi exhaled.
'We were both drunk,' Jo confided to Link. 'Well, I was.'
'If it makes you feel better, I was thinking about Hugh Jackman,' Levi said, stuffing half his bagel in his mouth.
'Really? Hugh Jackman?' Nico wondered. He tugged self-consciously at his scrub top.
‘You’re prettier than Hugh,’ Link told Nico soothingly.
‘Hugh Jackman?’ Nico repeated.
‘Who doesn’t think Hugh Jackman’s hot?’ Jo gushed. Her phone buzzed and she glanced at it. 'That's Bailey. Gotta go!' She slid from the chair and walked out of the cafeteria.
Link waited for Jo to leave. 'You're welcome,' he said with a conspiratorial grin. 'Schmitty, whose service are you on?'
'Dr. Pierce.'
'Shame.' Link took another bite of his bagel. 'You should consider ortho. I hear you're good with bones,' he added with a smirk.
Left alone, Nico poked Levi. 'Jo?'
'I was a sub-i, so it was way before she married the other Dr. Karev. She was drunk. Like really drunk. Like so drunk,
I
looked good to her.' Levi shoved his bagel to the side. 'It really was awful. I mean, every time I slept with a woman, it was bad. I know why
now
, but then I just thought I was really bad at sex.'
'You're not, you know.'
Levi blushed. 'Thanks…'
'And Hugh Jackman?'
'He means nothing to me.' Levi said with a mischievous smile.
Nico started to lean forward to kiss Levi, like he would have done while they sat nestled on his couch, but stopped, remembering where they were. 'Are you on-call tonight?'
'No.'
Nico laid a hand over Levi's hand and caressed the inside of his wrist. 'Dinner. My place. Seven-thirty.' He did lean forward then, close enough so he could murmur into Levi's ear, 'I'll show you mindblowing.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nico pulled his lab coat on, feeling the paper crinkle in one of the pockets. His lab results. He finished going over the charts of the patients Link had let him handle on his own, gave directions to the nurses, and pulled his phone from his pocket.
Where are you?
On-call room near peds.
Up for company?
Sure.
There was a pause and the three flashing dots that indicated Levi was typing appeared.
Chief's staying to look after a patient until she wakes up. Just FYI
.
Nico sighed. He still walked on on eggshells around Alex Karev, for reasons completely unrelated to the incident in the ambulance. Vikram Roy had deserved to get fired for sheer incompetence. Alex's cold fury was frankly terrifying. If pressed, Nico would probably admit that, as long as he and Levi locked the door, Nico could bend Levi over the chief's desk and fuck him into oblivion, and Alex Karev wouldn't care. He took the stairs down two flights to the pediatric floor and slipped through the door, easing into the on-call room. Levi had propped himself up on his elbows, the bedding crumpled around his waist. Nico made a show of locking the door, then toed off his shoes and let his lab coat fall from his shoulders. He drew the sheet of paper from the pocket, and held it in his teeth while he hauled his scrub top over his head, then joined Levi in the twin-sized bed. 'At least it isn't a bunk bed,' Nico muttered, grabbing the pillows off one of the other beds.
'Yeah, that does have a summer camp vibe,' Levi agreed, scooting over in the bed to make room for Nico. ‘What’s that?’ he asked, fingering the paper. Nico handed it to him and slid into the bed, arranging the pillows. Levi looked down, squinting a little because he wasn’t wearing his glasses. 'Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, syphilis, herpes…' Levi set the paper down. 'These are STI tests.'
Nico nodded. 'Mine.'
Levi's eyes flew to the patient's name at the top of the page. 'Nico Kim…' He reached for his glasses on the table behind the head of the bed and shoved them on. 'They're all negative.' He read the results again. 'You did this the day of the windstorm.'
'Mmmm-hmmmm.' Nico burrowed into the pillows. 'Do it every year. It was time, and I wanted to know before we did anything else.' He pulled the paper out of Levi's fingers. 'You should do it, too.' Levi lay back down, and pulled the blankets over his shoulders. 'And in full disclosure, I should tell you… I've had five partners for penetrative sex. All men. We were tested before, always used condoms. I've topped and bottomed.' Nico brushed a lock of hair from Levi's eyes. 'I never did oral with someone I didn't know. Not in college, med school, or residency. And always got tested.'
Levi looked at him solemnly. 'That's a lot of testing.'
'Yeah, well. Sex ed class in high school scared the crap outta me. And then you go into medicine.' Nico shrugged. 'Never wanted to take stupid chances.'
Levi turned to his back. 'My last STI screening was a couple of years ago. I was clean. But I'll get Taryn or Casey to do the blood draw in the morning.' He inhaled slowly. 'There have been four. Girls… women. Always condoms. One of them was a one time thing,' he added, the memory of Jo Karev in his basement room, flashing through his head. 'It was over in five minutes. If that.' He took off his glasses and replaced them on the table. 'The other three… They were relationships that never lasted more than a couple of months. And we didn't actually have sex that often. It was… unsatisfactory...' Levi felt the familiar tang of humiliation coat his tongue. Nico pushed himself up and over, cupping Levi's jaw in his hand, then leaned down to kiss him gently, the tip of his tongue coaxing Levi's mouth open. Levi's arms wound around Nico's waist, tugging his body over his own, wrapping his legs around Nico's hips. 'I didn't tell you all that so you'd feel sorry for me,' Levi murmured against Nico's mouth.
'It's a teaching hospital,' Nico countered, reaching for the drawstring of Levi's scrub pants. He managed to get a hand inside Levi's boxers and closed his fingers around Levi's hard cock. 'Let me teach you.'
'What are you teaching me?' Levi gasped, his teeth closing on his lower lip.
'What it feels like to be satisfied.'
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'I thought this was a teaching hospital!' Levi said indignantly. Nico paused and nearly turned around. He swallowed hard, and continued to walk to the fellows' lounge.Nico tried not to think of the Levi's initial surprise when he kissed him. And he tried not to think about the sudden shift, when Levi began kissing him back, and the jolt that ran down his spine.He tried not to remember glancing at Levi from the corner of his eye, when he broke this kiss. Levi's dazed expression, one hand bracing himself on the wall, lest his knees buckle. Then the smile, like the sun breaking through clouds.Nico sat on the bench in front of his cubicle and untied his runners. He set them carefully in the bottom and wrenched his scrub top over his head and threw it into the hamper. He let out a pent-up breath and grabbed his street clothes and headed toward the showers. The room was blessedly deserted. Nico opened one of the shower cubicles and stepped inside, stripping off his scrub pants and boxers. He twisted the cold tap on full blast and ducked under the frigid spray. Levi had been warm and pliant in his arms, and with the height difference, Nico could all too easily picture lifting the shorter man, encouraging Levi to wrap his legs around his waist. It made him achingly hard. Even so, Nico was not one to jerk off in a shared shower. He shut off the water and haphazardly dried himself enough to get dressed without his clothes sticking to his skin.Nico managed to drive himself home without crashing into a light pole, a feat he considered Herculean, now that he knew how Levi's hands felt twined in his hair. He let himself into his apartment and headed straight for the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He took it to the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table and turned the television on, mindlessly surfing channels until he found a hockey game he watched without seeing while sipping his beer.He tried to not picture kneeling in front of Levi, taking his cock into his mouth, while Levi's hands clutched in his hair. Or Levi's mouth on his cock. That one Nico could imagine all too well, including the graze of the ever-present stubble on Levi's face against his thighs.Nico's head fell back against the couch and a small sound escaped from his throat. He tried not to fantasize about Levi writhing under his body. Or Levi riding him.He tried remind himself that Levi was an intern and therefore off limits.Nico went back into the kitchen and grabbed another beer. He twisted off the cap, throwing it into the sink, and pressed the cold bottle to his forehead. It wasn't just lust. He'd been curious about Levi since the day he and Link had arrived at Grey+Sloan. They weren't technically starting until the next day, but there was paperwork to fill out, ID badges to get, and in Nico's case, a cubby in the fellows' lounge to claim. Link insisted on exploring the hospital and getting to know some of the nurses. Having recently been a resident himself, Nico thought to ask about the current residents and interns. One of the older nurses said Levi had the potential to be a good surgeon, if he could manage to get out of his own head. Nico's interest was piqued when she remarked that Levi had volunteered to do a direct transfusion during surgery when the blood bank was inaccessible. He ended up passing out due to blood loss, she added. Nico had been impressed. It was a ballsy move.He had been secretly delighted to find very same Levi standing next to the bed that held their ortho patient the next morning. The first thing he'd noticed were Levi's large hazel eyes. The next was Levi sneaking peeks at him. Nico took a long swallow of his beer. He'd winked at Levi in surgery, just to let him know that he knew Levi was staring.When Levi had been trapped inside the hyperbaric chamber, on the verge of a panic attack, Nico felt something well up inside that he'd thought himself incapable of. When they were finally able to open the door, Nico had been startled to find he wanted to take the intern into his arms and hold him until the numbness passed. He settled for buying Levi a beer at Joe's later.Nico drained the beer and took another one out of the fridge. There wasn't enough alcohol to erase the memory of the harsh rejection he'd given Levi in the elevator. Or stop the images in his head.
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Nico glanced up at Alex. 'You always observe ortho procedures?''I do when they're operating on one of my patients.' Alex gestured with his chin. 'I gave that one a liver transplant when I was a peds fellow.''He'll be fine. Just a broken collarbone.' Nico turned his focus back to Xander and carefully realigned the edges.'How'd he do it?''Racing his bike with his friends. He swerved to avoid a dog, flipped over the handlebars.'Alex chuckled. 'Kinda makes me want to go home and wrap mine up in bubble wrap. Last week, Jo caught George climbing the kitchen counters.' He shook his head. 'Took five years off my life.'Nico began to screw a plate into Xander's clavicle. 'Half my mom's gray hairs are because of stupid stunts I tried to do. I'm shocked I made it to adulthood sometimes.''Makes you wonder why we have kids, knowing all the crap we got into,' Alex commented. 'You and Schmitt want to have kids?''We've talked about it,' Nico replied. 'Could I get a little more suction here?' he asked the intern who'd scrubbed in with him.'Gonna go the adoption or surrogate route?'Nico began to attach another screw. 'Haven't really decided.'Alex studied Nico for a long moment. 'Don't… don't rule out foster care kids,' he said, with none of his usual cocky undertones.Nico paused. Alex's eyes between his scrub cap and mask were serious. 'Why is it so important to you?''I went through seventeen foster homes when I was a kid,' Alex said quietly. 'There are a lot of kids who need families. And if you're not dead set on a baby…' His shoulders shifted as if his scrub top was far too tight. 'You're good guys. Any kid would be lucky you have you as their dads.''Thanks, Dr. Karev.' Nico finished with the last screw and checked the surgical site, then double checked it. 'Cross, you can close,' Nico said to the senior resident. He stepped away from the table, and stripped off his gloves, and dumped them into the bin, along with his mask. Alex followed suit. Nico turned on the water and began to wash his hands. 'We want kids,' he told Alex. 'He wants more than one.' Nico turned off the water and reached for a towel. 'And as much as I want to have kids, the idea of becoming a father kinda terrifies me, because there are a thousand ways I can screw up a kid,' Nico admitted.Alex let out a half laugh. 'When Jo told me she was pregnant, I damn near hyperventilated. My mom has schizophrenia. My dad was a deadbeat abusive junkie. The foster home years. If there's anybody in this hospital the least equipped to be a parent, it's me. But…' Alex hitched a shoulder. 'There's two of you, you know? I mean, Jo remembers that George doesn't like to eat first thing in the morning, but if he does want something, he'll want one piece of toast, cut into triangles, no crusts, with peanut butter on one triangle, butter and honey on another, strawberry jam on the third, and plain butter on the last one. And she's the only one who can do it the way he likes it. I take him to the park and let him hang from the monkey bars, get dirty, let the mastiff who gets walked while we’re there drool all over him, use all the wipes in the diaper bag to clean him up before we go home. He probably eats dirt. And Jo freaks out about that, but he's healthy and happy. It's all that matters. It'll be the same way with you. You'll have your stuff, Schmitt'll have his stuff, and your kid will be fine. Probably want to be a Hobbit for Halloween, but every group has to have that kid.''Levi would be really disappointed if none of his kids did Lord of the Rings cosplay,' Nico said, throwing his towel into the bin.Alex checked his watch. 'You've got enough time to take a shower. Link's got your tux, and he'll meet you in the attendings' lounge, then take you over to the synagogue.' Alex looked around the room and not finding easily accessible wood, knocked on his own head. 'You'll be there in plenty of time for the ceremony.'Nico followed Alex into the hallway, pulling off his scrub cap. 'Where's Levi?''Cath lab with Yang. They'll be finished in about half an hour, and Helm'll drive him over. Not a chance you'll see each other until four.' They stopped at the nurses station. 'Nervous?'Nico grinned. 'No. Kissing him in the elevator was the second best decision I've ever made.''What the the best?'Nico's smile turned bashful. 'Asking him to marry me.'
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Nico knocked on the doorframe. 'Nico! Right on time!' A rotund man with more than a passing resemblance to Santa Claus effusively greeted Nico and beckoned him to enter the office.'Hi.''How's Levi?''Hanging in there.''Good, good. I surprised when he said he wanted to be a surgeon. Always figured he'd go for something like, you know... dermatology.'Nico sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. 'He's surprised a lot of people. Including himself.' He unzipped his backpack and removed a small kippah, then placed it on the back of his head.Rabbi Kurtzman leaned forward, folding his hands together on his desk. 'You told Levi yet?'Nico pulled out a notebook, and opened it. 'Not yet.''And your parents?''Yeah.' Nico leaned back in the chair. 'Between telling them I'm gay and telling them I'm converting, this was easier.' He met the rabbi's amused gaze with a lifted brow. 'There was a lot less crying. My mom just kinda gave me this look, and said, "At least you're praying…"''And Levi?'Nico adjusted the kippah. 'I kinda want it to be a wedding present.'‘Where does he think you are?’‘The gym,’ Nico coughed.Rabbi Kurtzman chuckled, the deep tones rolling across the desk. ‘It’s certainly believable.’‘I do go by the gym,’ Nico retorted genially. 'Run five miles or swim a few thousand meters.' Nico shrugged. 'That way it's not entirely a lie.'Rabbi Kurtzman snorted. 'That makes me need a nap after hearing that.' He consulted a calendar on his computer. 'You still sure you want to do the mikvah? It's not necessary, strictly speaking.''Yeah.''Got two other witnesses lined up?''Yeah. I, uh, asked Levi's grandfather, Eli. He's flying up Tuesday. And Joel Krantz.''Ah, a family affair.''Well, if I'm gonna have a group of straight guys stare at my naked ass…' Nico frowned, learning forward, a stricken expression on his face. 'Can I say ass in here?'Rabbi Kurtzman was laughing so hard, he could barely breathe, waving a hand. 'If that's the worst thing you ever say in shul, you're ahead of the game.' He pushed himself to his feet, wiping the tears from his eyes. 'Let's go walk through what will happen Friday.' He led Nico into the sanctuary.Nico took a deep breath. 'You call me up. I use the fringe of the tallit to touch the scroll where the you're gonna start, then kiss the fringe. Say the blessing. Stand there and look pretty while you read. Use the fringe to kiss where you end. Say the blessing. Go back to my seat and try not to trip. And check Levi's vitals, because he hasn't breathed since I stood up.''Choose a name?"'Yochanan. My mom's father's name was Giovanni, so…' Nico's head ducked a little.Rabbi Kurtzman stretched his arms out over the back of the pew. 'Was he a good man?'Nico glanced upward. 'He had his moments, but yeah, mostly.'The rabbi nudged Nico. 'One more time -- why do you want to do this?'Nico gazed at the stained glass window. 'We're interracial, which some people still have a problem with. We're gay, and lots of people have a problem with that. I didn't have a huge connection to Catholicism, but this is important to Levi. And if we have kids, I want it to be important to them, too. And really, do you think God cares if I pray in Latin or in Hebrew?' Nico looked down at his hands, and forced himself to unlace his fingers. 'I've been coming here with Levi for two years, and not once has anyone ever called me a sinner. Or said that "hate the sin, love the sinner" crap. At least not to my face.' He licked his dry lips and swallowed. 'And if we have kids, we'll bake apple cake at Rosh Ha'shanah, dress the kids up for Purim, and tag team them when it's time to study for their bar or bat mitzvah.''All right.'*****Levi slid into the pew next to Nico, holding one hand over his kippah until his could anchor it to his hair with a bobby pin. 'You look nice.'Nico flushed and self-consciously ran a hand down the front of his jacket. 'It's not like I wore a suit,' he muttered. 'Who's covering your shift tonight?''Dahlia. I owe her one. Her parents are coming to visit week after next.' Levi turned slightly in the pew. 'You look nervous. Like really nervous.''I'm fine.' Nico kissed Levi's cheek.The service seemed to fly by, and all too soon for Nico, Rabbi Kurtzman's voice intoned, 'Ya-amod Yochanan ben Avraham.''Who's that?' Levi whispered, a puzzled frown on his face, glancing around the congregation.Nico's crooked smile blossomed over his face. 'Me.' He stood up and walked to the bimah, carefully not looking at Levi, knowing he'd lose it if he saw the expression of stunned delight on his face. When the Torah reading was done, Nico made his way back to his seat, stopping to shake hands with some of the other congregants, and in some cases, receive kisses on the cheek from the old ladies. He lowered himself into the pew next to Levi.'You converted…' Levi murmured. 'You converted for me.''Yeah.' Nico blinked rapidly and pinched the bridge of his nose, then wound his arm around Levi's shoulders. 'Looks like your mom's getting the son-in-law of her dreams,' he whispered, laughter in his voice.
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Alex stared at the monitor, a frown deepening the line between his eyebrows. 'Schmitt, come here.' He lifted the baby from the warmer. 'Take off your shirt.'Levi's eyes flicked to the baby. 'Why?''Kangaroo hold.' The corner of Alex's mouth lifted in the smirk that Levi had come to know. Something was brewing in his head. 'We'd get his mother or father to do it, but since he hasn't got anyone, you'll have to do.'Levi pulled his scrub top over his head and folded it, setting it aside near the warmer. He held his arms out for the baby. Alex laid the baby in his arms and Levi brought it to cuddle against his chest, then Alex tucked a blanket over the baby's back. 'How long do I stay like this?''All night if you have to. He's scheduled for a Norwood with Pierce in a couple of days, but I'd like him to be a little more stable before then, and this can't hurt. And if he starts circling the drain, he won’t be alone.' Alex glanced at the monitor. 'I'll get the nurses to bring you a rocking chair.''Thanks.' Levi gently stroked the baby's cheek. 'Could someone page Dr. Kim?''I'll ask one of the nurses to do it before I leave.' Alex peered at the baby over Levi's arm. 'Get used to the inside of the NICU, Schmitt. You're gonna be here a lot.' Alex began to leave, but stopped. 'Think of a name for the kid. So we don't have to keep calling him Baby Doe.''Jonathan,' Levi said, without thinking. 'It was my father's name.'Alex nodded in approval. 'It's a good name. I'll be around tonight. So page me if it gets out of hand, but this one is all yours.' He strode out of the NICU, stopping to speak to the nurses. Presently two of them carefully pushed a large, heavily padded rocking chair across the floor. 'Here, Dr. Schmitt,' one of them said softly,'Thanks, Penny,' Levi said, sinking into the chair. 'Just let us know if you need anything. Priya's paged Dr. Kim, but he's in a surgery. She asked him to come down here when he's done.''Thank you.' Levi lost all sense of time in the NICU in a way he didn't anywhere else in the hospital. He lost himself in the care of the very tiny, helpless humans. He had no idea how much time had passed when Nico dropped onto a rolling chair next to him. 'Hey.'Levi's eyes opened. 'Hey,' he replied softly, so as not to wake the baby.Nico lifted the edge of the blanket to peer at the baby cradled in Levi's arms. 'You're staying here tonight, aren't you?''He was left in a box at Station 19,' Levi murmured. 'Premature, maybe thirty-four, thirty-five weeks. Hypoplastic left heart.'Nico slid a hand to the back of Levi's neck, fingertips seeking the knots that often took up residence just under the base of his skull. 'What are you doing and why does it involve you being shirtless?''Kangaroo hold. It helps. You don't remember it from your peds rotation?' Levi let his head fall forward slightly with a soft moan. 'Oh God, right there…' he breathed, as Nico's fingers found a particularly painful spot. 'It's not something that comes up in ortho.' Nico glanced at the clock on the wall. Levi had paged him three hours ago. 'You want a break?'Levi blinked slowly, and the rocking chair stopped swaying. 'What?'Nico leaned against the side of the rocking chair. 'I can take over for a bit. Go get some food. Get outside for a bit.' 'You sure?'Nico sat back and pulled his scrub top off. 'Go on. I can do this for however long you need.' When Levi looked at him askance, Nico added, 'Karev's at the nurses' station. If it makes you feel better about taking thirty minutes to go to the bathroom and eat a cup of yogurt.'Levi carefully stood up and transferred the baby to Nico's arms, mindful of the tubes and wires. 'Fine. Thirty minutes.' He pulled his scrub top over his head, and watched Nico settle into the rocking chair. 'You look good with a baby,' he blurted. 'Like, you should just have a baby with you all the time.' Levi made a small embarrassed gesture. 'I'm gonna go find something to eat.' Levi pointed at the baby. 'He's due for another feeding soon.'Nico made a shooing motion. 'I've got this.'Levi checked his watch. The cafeteria was closed, but the coffee cart in the lobby was still open. He stopped long enough to grab one of the hospital fleece jackets on his way to the cart. 'Dark roast, room for milk,' he told the barista. 'The bran muffin and a banana.' He peered through the windows while the barista poured his coffee. It wasn't raining, so Levi took what consisted of his dinner to one of the benches outside. The muffin was slightly stale, but he tore it in half and hungrily crammed it into his mouth, slurping coffee to help swallow it. He stretched out his feet in front of him and started mentally reviewing the steps of a Norwood procedure. He hoped Maggie would let him scrub in. Nico glanced around the NICU. The other warmers and isolettes had at least one parent absorbed in the baby occupying it. 'Someone needs to take care of you,' he murmured to the baby.'Hey,' Levi said, walking into the NICU. 'How's he doing?''He's a champ,' Nico said. 'Has Karev called social services yet?''No. He wants to see if Jonathan survives the first stage of the Norwood.''Jonathan?''Yeah. Karev said to think of a name we can use.'Nico nodded. 'Can we go outside and talk?' Levi hesitated. 'Just five minutes.' Levi took Jonathan and laid him in the warmer, while Nico put his scrub top back on, and jerked his head to the door. As soon as they left the NICU, Nico grabbed Levi's elbow and dragged him to a quiet corner. 'Let's take him.''Who?''The baby. Jonathan.''Stealing a baby is a felony.''I don't want to steal him,' Nico said, rolling his eyes. 'I want to be his foster parent.' Levi stared at him, a frown on his face. 'I know it won't be permanent, but he needs someone in his corner.' Nico pressed his lips together. 'And I want it to be us.'Levi reared back. 'I have boards coming up, and a fellowship. And you're an attending…''And we work in a hospital with a daycare. And who better to take of him than two surgeons?''Nico, it's not a good time…' Levi said weakly.Nico exhaled strongly through his nose. 'If we wait for it to be the right time, it's never going to be the right time.' He grasped Levi by the shoulders. 'He needs us.'Levi's hands closed around Nico's wrists. 'Let's get him through the first surgery. And then we'll talk.'
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Levi wheeled the isolette back to the NICU. Jonathan had survived the surgery, and Maggie was optimistic about his chances. She'd seen worse cases that had survived, she assured Levi. He left instructions with the nurses, then pulled his phone from his pocket. Are you at G+S?
On-call by NICU.
Levi reversed direction and knocked softly on the door before opening it. 'Hey…''Backrub or food first?' Nico held up a small bottle of oil in one hand and an insulated lunch bag in the other.'Food.' Levi toed off his runners, palmed off his scrub cap, and joined Nico on the bed. Nico handed him a wide thermos and a spoon. 'You made soup?''Your mom made soup. She dropped it off earlier.' Levi unscrewed the lid and dipped the spoon into the broth. 'How'd the surgery go?' Nico asked, trying to not sound too anxious.'He's stable. In an isolette for tonight. Dr. Pierce thinks he'll be okay. She wants to schedule the Glenn.' Levi leaned against the wall behind them. 'So, let's talk… Jonathan…'Nico ran a hand through his hair. 'Every kid in that NICU has someone who gives a damn about whether they live or die,' he began.'And you think we don't?' Levi shot back.'As doctors. And nurses,' Nico retorted. 'But he needs parents. Or at the very least, someone to make sure he's not alone in the world. Someone with all of Jonathan's needs in mind, not just surviving the next surgery. Someone who makes him feel safe and protected. And loved.' Nico dug into the lunch bag and unearthed a baggie with crackers, which he dropped into Levi's lap. 'I asked social services -- hypothetically -- how hard it would be for us to take him.''Sounds like you already decided,' Levi sighed.'No. I want you to be on board with it. I'll drop it if you feel you can't…'' Nico fiddled with the strap on the lunch bag. 'You did say you wanted a family…' he reminded Levi.'Not when I was a resident.' Levi stirred the soup. 'You said the other night that if we waited for the right time, it would never be the right time.'Nico delved into the lunch bag and pulled out a second baggie, filled with carrot sticks. 'Your mom packs meals for you like you're twelve,' he commented, opening the baggie and taking a carrot stick.'I don't see you complaining,' Levi huffed. 'And don't change the subject.'Nico examined the carrot and picked up the thread of their conversation. 'The lunar new year after the wedding, I asked Mom when it would be a good time for us to start trying for kids.' Nico slouched a little. 'She said if we waited for the right time, it would be never, because there's always something going on. Right now, it's your boards and the fellowship. Or it'll be some research I want to do. If we keep thinking like that…' Nico hitched a shoulder in a jerky sort of shrug and pulled his feet onto the bed. 'Plenty of surgeons in this hospital have kids. Meredith-freaking-Grey has three!''And you never saw her stress out about them,' Levi said. 'I heard plenty when I was an intern --''She was a single mother when you were an intern,' Nico said, cutting Levi off. He sat up and shoved his feet into his clogs. 'I can't even with you right now.' He got up.'Nico!'Nico paused with this hand on the door handle. 'I'm going to say something I'll regret later if I keep talking to you right now.''On a scale of zero to gay sherpa?'Nico's shoulders rose and fell as he inhaled. 'Gay sherpa,' he muttered.'Okay.'Nico opened the door and walked out of the room without looking back. He went to the attendings' lounge and fetched a rather dog-eared and battered book from his cubby, then returned to the peds floor and went straight to the NICU. 'Hey, Patrick,' Nico whispered to the nurse at the desk. 'Can I hang out with Jonathan for a while?'Patrick looked at Nico with a slightly pitying expression. 'Dr. Kim, you know he's post-op.''Thirty minutes, tops,' Nico promised. 'Is he…?'Patrick scanned Jonathan's monitor. 'Stable.' He rested his elbows on the desk. 'Keep the isolette closed. You can touch him, though.''Thanks.' Nico scrubbed his hands according to protocol for NICU visitors, then grabbed one of the gowns. 'It's a little ridiculous to do all this, but you'll let me sleep with him on my bare chest all night,' he told Patrick with exasperation.'Think about where your hands have been,' Patrick said dryly.'Good point.' Nico tied the gown loosely over his scrubs.'That's why they pay me the big bucks,' Patrick snorted.Nico chuckled and went into the tiny room that held Jonathan's isolette. He pulled the rocking chair closer to the isolette and slid a hand inside, using a fingertip to stroke the baby's clenched fist. The tiny fingers briefly relaxed, then tightened around Nico's fingertip. 'Heyyyyy,' he said quietly. 'I'll bet the other guy looks worse, huh?' His thumb brushed the back of Jonathan's hand. 'Of course he does.' Nico used his free hand to open the book he'd brought with him. 'Buckle up, kiddo. This is one my favorite books. I think you'll like it.' Nico cleared his throat. 'Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived… Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much...'In the on-call room, Levi ate the soup, but didn't taste it. He packed the rest of the food away and stretched out on the bed. He was exhausted, but the argument with Nico refused to let him rest. They weren't without a support system. Levi's mother and a few of his cousins that Levi actually liked. Nico's mother had recently retired from her job and could come help during the next two surgeries. There were people in their synagogue would would trip over themselves to help or recommend someone. All they would have to do is ask.And Nico was right. Despite the news stories and social media blasts, it seemed as if Jonathan had no one. Not a single person had claimed him as a son, grandson, nephew…Levi flopped over on his stomach. Fuck. Why was he so resistant to even just offering to foster the poor kid? He'd been an intern when Owen had to give up his foster kid. He'd had the baby for months when the kid's grandparents showed up. Owen had been devastated. And if that happened to them? Nico was already emotionally invested in Jonathan. Knowing Nico, he had figured out where to put a crib in their one-bedroom apartment, spoken to the daycare about a place for the baby, and a Boston Bruins onesie was on its way to their mailbox. Levi wasn't sure he could let himself fall in love with the baby, only to have someone appear out of thin air and whisk Jonathan away from them, and not fall apart emotionally. In over four years together, they'd never been emotional wrecks at the same time. One of them always managed to hold it together while the other went to pieces.And then there was Jonathan. Surgery was risky for a baby, and this was delicate, open heart surgery. The odds of Jonathan surviving to adulthood with his repaired heart were good. He might not even need a transplant later. Surviving the surgery was an altogether different situation. The surgery could be flawless and still… Successful surgery wasn't a guarantee or a successful outcome.If Levi was completely honest with himself, he was scared. Terrified, really. Falling in love with Nico frightened him as much as it had exhilarated him. Being on trauma rotations reminded him with alarming frequency that freak accidents killed people or led to the discovery of some form of inoperable brain tumor. He couldn't imagine his life without Nico. It was the same fear that had led Levi to keep Jonathan at arm's length.Levi flung the blanket off his body and slid off the bed. He put his runners on, figuring he could pass the time monitoring Jonathan. He left the on-call room and approached the nurses' station. He could see Nico leaning against the isolette, murmuring quietly, a book in one hand. Levi scrubbed his hands and donned a gown before going to lean against the doorframe of Jonathan's room.Nico finished the chapter and closed the book. Levi motioned to the rolling chair in the corner. 'May I?'Nico shrugged. 'He's your patient.'Levi sat in the chair and scooted it next to the rocking chair. Nico had laid the book aside and sat, swaying gently, watching the baby sleep. 'I'm scared,' Levi said. 'I'm scared that I'm going to love him with the same intensity that I love you, and someone or something will take him away from us.'Nico let out a pained ghost of a laugh. 'You think I don't feel the same way?' He reached for Levi's hand.'Couples who lose children often split up,' Levi blurted.'Statistics aren't destiny,' Nico countered.Levi rested his head against Nico's shoulder. 'We're going to live in this hospital for the next month, aren't we?''Until Bailey kicks us out and tells us to go home and let the staff do their jobs.'Levi sighed. 'I am not looking forward to telling Karev I'm off the case.'Nico pressed a kiss to the top of Levi's head, remembering the conversation Alex had with him on his wedding day. 'I think you'll be okay. Karev's got a soft spot for foster kids.'
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Levi managed to roll to his side. Nico lay on his stomach, arms folded under head, face turned toward Levi. This was the Nico only he ever saw, hair flopping into his sleepy eyes, mouth swollen. It made him look vulnerable and, in Levi's admittedly biased opinion, sexier than he usually was. Levi felt his face fall into the ridiculously delighted smile he generally wore around Nico.'What?' Nico stretched, and Levi's smile grew wider, watching the light play over the muscles moving in Nico's back.'I have to pinch myself,' Levi murmured. 'That I get the unimaginable privilege of being in this bed with you.' He ran his fingertips down Nico's ribs, making the other man giggle sleepily. 'Me, a mere mortal…'Nico lifted himself up on his elbows. 'Why do you do that?''What?''Put yourself down like that.'Levi sat up. 'It's the truth.'Nico flung the bedding back and swung his bare feet to the floor, ignoring the chill. He stalked to the other side, grabbed Levi's wrist, and all but dragged him from the bed, saying nothing.'Nico!' Levi protested, as Nico towed him into the bathroom, and turned on the light.Nico turned Levi toward the mirror, one arm around Levi's waist, the other across his chest. He tilted Levi's chin up so he could meet his eyes in the reflection. 'You've never been anything except Levi to me,' he began. 'Not Glasses or Blood Bank. Levi. Or Dr. Schmitt. You'll be an artist someday. I've watched you stitch banana peels back together after you've eaten the banana. You're the guy who did a direct transfusion during a surgery. Until you passed out. That's not weakness. That's hard core.''I don't like the sight of blood,' Levi said. 'My blood. Anyone else's blood is fine, but mine,' he babbled. 'I even get lightheaded when I cut myself when I help Mom cook…''Ever sympathy vomit?''Not yet.''When I was an intern, a guy came into the pit at UCLA, and threw up all over my resident. Then I threw up all over the patient.' Nico's lips grazed over the edge of Levi's ear. 'And I did not look like this when I was in college. I mean, yeah, I played soccer in high school, but I wasn't gonna get a scholarship or anything. I was kinda scrawny until I was about twenty. I really started hitting the gym so I could unwind in med school.''You must have been really stressed out,' Levi said faintly.'Horny, too.' Nico laughed.'I cried during trauma cert,' Levi confessed.Nico tightened his arms around Levi. 'I heard stories about that from Hunt. Trauma certs are supposed to hard, make you stretch what you know, make you a better surgeon, but not make you have a nervous breakdown.' 'I didn't cry through the entire cert,' Levi explained. 'Just when Dr. Kepner went bat-shit crazy and started killing all our patients and spraying us with a hose. Casey faked a page, and it went better after that.' Levi's mouth twisted. 'You really want me now, don't you?''You're my favorite intern to teach,' Nico breathed. 'And not just because of what you can do with your hands outside an OR.' His breath caught as Levi turned and cupped his balls. Nico's mouth hovered over Levi's 'You're a fast learner, put hours in the skills lab,' he murmured, just before he traced the seam of Levi's lips with his tongue. Levi's mouth opened under his, and Nico's hands dropped to Levi's hips, pulling him closer. Nico drew back enough to just break the kiss. 'You don't just copy me,' he continued, lips brushing over Levi's as he spoke. 'Look at how far you've come…' Levi moved his head just enough to slide his tongue against Nico's, then moved one hand to Nico's hardening dick, thumb gliding up the underside of it. Nico's head fell back. 'You make amazing French toast. You are totally my favorite intern,' he gasped. Levi's stubbly cheek scraped over his chest, and his mouth closed over one of Nico's nipples. Nico bent his knees and slid his hands over the curve of Levi's ass, down to the backs of his thighs. He lifted Levi just enough to guide his legs around his hips and managed to carry him as far as the sofa. The bed was too far at this moment. 'Jesus,' Nico gasped, as Levi's mouth landed on his neck just below his ear and his fingers wrapped around his erection and began to slowly move from tip to base. Nico set Levi down and dropped to one knee, then the other. He nuzzled the trail of hair that led from Levi's navel to his groin. One of Levi's hands patted blindly until he could grasp the edge of the windowsill, then slowly perched on it. He didn't think his knees could hold him upright. Not while Nico's tongue was tracing patterns over the crease of his thigh. Levi felt his cock twitch. Nico's mouth hovered over the head of Levi's cock, before ducking to the other side, teeth sinking into the crest of Levi's hip. 'That was mean,' Levi moaned. The fingers of his free hand threaded restlessly through Nico's hair. 'Nico, please…'Nico looked up, resting his cheek on Levi's abdomen. Levi's eyes were half-open, dark with longing, cheeks flushed, hair a mass of tousled waves. 'You're beautiful.'Levi snorted. 'Shut up…'Nico nudged Levi's thighs apart and pressed his mouth to the inside of one of Levi's thighs. Levi yelped softly when Nico's tongue swiped over the sensitive skin near his groin. 'It's true… If you could see yourself right now…' Nico swirled his tongue around Levi's balls, then dragged it up to the tip of his dick. Nico adjusted his angle and took as much of Levi as he could into his mouth. Levi's hips rocked forward and his hand fisted in Nico's hair. 'Nico… I'm…' He felt his toes curl against the chilly floor. He always came so fast when Nico used his mouth. Levi grunted and felt his cock pulse against Nico's lips. 'Oh, God,' Levi muttered. His knees did buckle and Nico caught him before he could fall. Nico cradled Levi's face between his hands and kissed him slowly, the taste of Levi on his tongue. Levi leaned bonelessly against Nico. 'The floor is cold,' he declared. 'Yeah, it is.' Nico managed to get to his feet, and pull Levi along with him. He managed to make it to the sofa, Levi draped on top of him, and tugged the afghan draped over the back over them both.
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Nico pulled an index card from the top of a stack. 'Thirty-two year old woman, regular menstrual cycles. Pelvic pain on the left side…''Rules out appendicitis,' Levi murmured.'Fever, vomiting, bloating…''Ovarian cyst. Ultrasound, pregnancy test… Laproscopy. If the cyst is solid, then order CA 125, since elevated CA 125 is associated with ovarian cancer. Most go away on their own. Can prescribe oral contraception. Larger ones require surgery to prevent rupture.' The landline began to ring. 'Pelvic infections, endometriosis are risk factors…' Levi twisted and reached for the handset. He stared at the number flashing over the screen at the top. 'Oh damn…' He pressed a button on the phone. 'Hello?''Levi! Is your mother home?''Hi Aunt Sharon… No…' He glanced at Nico's watch. 'On her way home from work.''Okay, muffin, listen. Tell your mom I found a nice brisket. I can bring it to the Seder.''What do you mean, you can bring it to the Seder?''Your mom's hosting the Seder first night. It's her turn this year. Didn't she tell you?'Levi blinked, and his mouth worked soundlessly. 'Who's coming?''Everyone. Us. Your grandfather's flying up from San Diego. I think your mom's sister's family is coming from Portland. Your uncle Samuel and his family.''Oh, God…''So Miriam says you're seeing someone.''S-she did?''Is she Jewish? Oooh! Bring her to the Seder!''I'll tell Mom about the brisket… Anything else I should pass on to Mom?' Levi buried his face into his free hand.'Not off the top of my head. Oh, does she need extra copies of the Haggadah?''I can't say,' Levi muttered.'Okay, have her call me. Bye! Mwah-mwah!'Levi replaced the handset. 'How much could you hear?''All of it. Your aunt's kinda loud. What's a Seder?''Dinner for Passover. It's kinda a big deal. There's more food than anyone can possibly eat, lots of wine, and gossip, and everybody prying into your life.' Levi began to bang his head against the back of the sofa. 'And I haven't come out to the rest of my family.''Clearly,' Nico scoffed. 'Your aunt kept saying "she."''Nobody'll care that I'm gay,' Levi sighed. His fingers spasmed. 'If you come, everyone will ask you a million questions, and force you to eat six helpings of kugel, and make you play all the games we do for the kids, because it'll be your first Seder. And it's long and boring, and there's all this Hebrew, and singing…'Nico shuffled the index cards. 'So you're saying, you don't want me there…?''No…' Levi knocked over the stack of index cards, flustered. 'I do! I just…' He bit his lower lip. 'I don't want to scare you off.' He closed his eyes. 'When I said there's a lot of wine, it's a lot of wine. I get tipsy and say inappropriate things. And it's getting easier to think about surgery when I look at you in scrubs, when you're like this…' Levi waved at Nico, sprawled over his mother's sofa. 'Surgery is still the last thing on my mind. Add tipsy me into that… By the end of the Seder, everyone will know how much I like it when you do that thing with your fingers when you're… you know…'Nico tried to suppress the laughter bubbling in his throat. 'Sucking you off?' he burbled.'Yes.'Nico sat up, grabbed Levi's ankles, and pulled until he was lying on his back, then settled over him. 'I'm game if you are. And I'll answer your aunts' too-personal questions, and remind you to drink water so you don't wake up with a hangover. I'll even play the games.''Why would you do that?''Because it's important to you.' Nico's head ducked and he gave Levi a smile. 'And if you do blurt out to everyone how much you like that thing with my fingers, it'll be a funny story we can tell our ki…' Nico stopped himself. 'It'll be a funny story we can tell when we're sitting around a table at Joe's,' he amended.'You were gonna say kids,' Levi accused. 'You were gonna say kids.'Nico's mouth went dry. 'Yeah.''You think about kids?''Yeah.''With me?''If I say yes will you freak out?'Levi shook his head. 'No.'
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Levi checked his phone for what seemed like the thousandth time, flying out to the porch when Nico's text flashed over the screen. I'm here.Levi met Nico at the end of the walk leading to the house. 'Okay, so everyone's here…''Who's everyone?''Grandpa, Uncle Samuel and Aunt Carole. Their kids Marcie, Elizabeth, and Robby. Don't mention Elizabeth's braces. She's got a mouthful and she's only fifteen… Uh… Uncle Greg and Aunt Deborah. They've brought their younger two kids, Jeremiah, but we call him Jerry; and Michelle. Aunt Sharon and Uncle Daniel. Their kids. Isaac, Alex, and Susannah. And Joel. You know Joel.'Nico tucked his keys into his jacket pocket. 'What have you told them about me?'Levi bit his lower lip. 'Nothing yet. Mom and Joel know, of course, but…''Tell everyone in one fell swoop?''Something like that.'Inside the house, Susannah glanced out of a window. 'Aunt Miri?''Yeah?''Who's that guy with Levi? I mean, mee-yow…' Susannah whistled softly.'His friend. Nico.''Since when does Levi have friends who can dress themselves?' Susannah scoffed. 'Or for that matter, own clothing the doesn't have a Hobbit on the front?'Joel came up behind Miriam. 'He's gonna plotz,' he commented, watching Levi's hands dance nervously in the space between him and Nico.'Probably,' Miriam agreed.Nico stopped Levi before he could open the front door. 'Hey.' He pulled Levi aside, unaware of the growing audience behind the windows. Nico pulled Levi closer, cupped his face between his hands and kissed him. Levi hummed against Nico's mouth, and rested his hands on Nico's hips. Nico pulled away slightly. 'It'll be okay.'Levi laughed nervously. 'How can you be so calm?'Nico's thumbs brushed over Levi's cheeks. 'I'm not. I just hide it better,' he admitted. 'Besides, when I take you to LA for Christmas, I will be a nervous wreck.'Levi's head cocked slightly to one side. 'Really? You? Mr. I-Don't-Want-Drama?''My aunts are probably every bit as nosy as yours. And Annabel might be my favorite cousin, but she could question people for the FBI. She'll have you admitting to stuff you swore you forgot years ago.' Nico's hands moved to Levi's hair. His fingers threaded through the wavy strands, tilting Levi's face up for another kiss.Eli wandered into the kitchen and stood between Susannah and Miriam, gazing at the pair outside the window. 'Huh.'Miriam glanced at Eli. 'What?''Levi's gay,' Eli stated, as if he'd commented on the weather.'Surprising no one,' Isaac interjected. 'Ever see him with girls that aren't family? There's awkward, then there's Levi. He makes half the guys in my engineering classes look like players.''Wow.' Michelle gaped. She looked at the time on her phone. 'Have they come up for air?''Oh, for…' Susannah huffed. 'I'm starving…' She banged a fist on the window. 'Get a room!' she shouted.Nico and Levi sprang apart. Levi's face instantly took on a mottled magenta hue. Nico turned to the window. Several of Levi's relatives began applauding. Nico grimaced, edging away from the window. 'Well, that's taken care of,' he coughed. He bent his head so his mouth was next to Levi's ear. 'After that, as long as we don't mention fingers, that's probably the most embarrassing thing to happen tonight.''You just keep telling yourself that,' Levi scoffed. He scrubbed his hands over his face. 'You look nice tonight,' he said, taking in Nico's black V-necked sweater and black pants. He usually only saw Nico in scrubs at the hospital or jeans, basketball shorts, and t-shirts out of it.'So do you.' Nico straightened the collar of Levi's shirt poking out of the collar of a dark red sweater. He bent his knees slightly , so Levi's head was at eye level and finger-combed his hair back into place. 'There. We should go in.''Yeah.' Levi took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and squared his shoulders. He took Nico's hand and led him into the house. Levi shut the door and turned around to find everyone, except Miriam and Joel, staring at them. 'Um… This is my, um…' He squirmed a little. While he was out at the hospital, few people knew about his relationship with Nico. They'd never actually defined what they were. Not out loud. But then again, they'd never needed to say it to one another. 'Boyfriend,' Levi said, with an audible gulp. He felt Nico squeeze his hand. 'Nico. Dr. Nico Kim.'‘Boyfriend , you say?’ Eli asked. ‘Oh good. I was afraid that display on the porch was some hipster crap.’Miriam pushed her way through her various relations. 'Come in, Nico. Levi, take his coat.' Miriam patted Nico's arm. 'Are you on-call tonight?''No. And nothing scheduled until tomorrow afternoon.'Sharon gave Nico an up-and-down look. 'So, you're a doctor.''A surgeon,' Nico said, handing his jacket to Levi. 'Orthopedics. At the same hospital where Levi works.''You're a resident, too?' Susannah asked.'A fellow.''What's that?' Alex asked, peering around Susannah's shoulder.'I finished my residency last year. A fellowship just means I'm getting specialized training. Surgically repairing broken bones, torn ligaments, joint replacements...'Levi reappeared. 'And he's really good at it. Could you at least wait until dinner to interrogate him?' he asked.'Yes, let's get this thing started!' Carole exclaimed. 'The brisket's going to dry out.'Levi held Nico back. 'Here.' He pulled a small, flat circle of black suede from his pocket. 'You'll need a kippah.' He rose on his toes to position the kippah on the crown of Nico's head. 'Hang on,' Levi grunted, sliding a bobby pin over the edge to secure it to Nico's hair. Nico reached up and brushed his fingers over it. 'You got a good one,' Levi commented, donning his own kipper while walking into the living room, where all the furniture had been moved to make room for the tables set up in an open square. 'It's the kippah from my bar mitzvah.''You wore this one?' Nico asked.'On the day I became a man,' Levi smirked.'Levi, Nico… you're over there,' Miriam said, waving a hand at two chairs near the end of a table. She stood at one corner over two candles and struck a match. 'Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'imitzvotav v'tzivanu, l'hadlich ner Yom Tov. We praise You Adonai, Sovereign of the Universe, who commands us to kindle the holiday lights,' she recited, touching the burning match to the candles. 'You're on, Eli.''Levi. You lead.'Levi's head snapped up. 'Me? Why?'Eli leaned forward. 'This your first Seder, Dr. Kim?''Yes. And call me Nico.''There you are!' Eli slapped the table and gestured to Levi's Haggadah. 'It's your friend's first Seder. It'll be more special if you lead.'Levi resisted the urge to bang his head against the table and slowly got to his feet and opened his copy of the Haggadah. 'Hey, Levi! No Dungeons and Dragons commentary!' Jerry called.'It was only the one time in college,' Levi muttered. 'Okay,' he said a little louder. He picked up his glass of wine and began to recite the blessing, the rest of his family joining him, while Nico followed along as best he could. Levi made a point of stopping every so often to explain something to Nico in more detail. 'Michelle, can you read the Four Children? Since you're the youngest?''I think Nico should do it!' Michelle said. 'It's his first Seder. In terms of practicing Judaism, he's a baby. So. Nico should do it.'Levi glared at his youngest cousin. 'That's not how it works.''I'll do it.' Nico cleared his throat. 'There?' he asked, running a finger under the text.'Yeah…'*****Warmed by the wine and his family's nonchalant response to his relationship with Nico, Levi felt some of the tension drain from his shoulders as they began to eat dinner.Eli passed a platter to Nico, and Nico dutifully scooped one of the beige objects onto his plate. 'Oh, don't eat the gefilte fish. It'll kill you,' Levi warned.'Did you just insult my gefilte fish?' Deborah asked with narrowed eyes.'No. I insulted all gefilte fish.' Levi shuddered.Nico gave Levi a slightly confused glance. 'I thought you liked fish… I've seen you eat it.''Of course I like seafood. I grew up in Seattle,' Levi retorted. 'Just not that,' he said emphatically, jabbing his fork at the gefilte fish. 'That may have started out as fish, but it's not fish now.''Oh, stop whining,' Deborah huffed. 'Every year… Just don't eat the damn gefilte fish.'Susannah leaned back in her chair. 'So, Nico. Are you the reason why Levi finally decided to get contacts and touch his eyeballs?'Nico laughed. 'No. I mean, I like the glasses. I like the contacts, too, but…' He shrugged one shoulder. 'The glasses are cute.''Has Levi told you he was the first person to get kicked out of a Jewish summer camp for reasons unrelated to drugs or booze?’ Isaac asked from the other side of the table. 'Or hooking up.''How do you get kicked out of summer camp?' Nico asked.'He ran a Dungeons and Dragons game. They broke into the dining hall to play overnight,' Alex replied. 'Levi was the one who picked the lock.''It was a really flimsy lock,' Levi said defensively. His wine glass was empty, so he grabbed Nico’s and took a swig. 'And what were we supposed to do? Play in the cabin and keep everyone up?'Isaac guffawed, ‘He’s famous. I was working at camp during the summers in undergrad and people would say, ‘Hey… are you related to that Levi Schmitt guy…?’'And meanwhile, Robbie Kleinfeldt was banging Elsie Cohen by the lake, but nobody ever said anything,' Levi with obvious resentment.'Is this the comic book Robbie Kleinfeldt?' Nico asked.Levi took a long sip of wine. 'Yep.'Nico tugged the glass from Levi's fingers and handed him a glass of water. He found Levi's aunts studying him intently. 'Did I do something wrong?''Where's your family from?' one of them asked. Carole, his brain supplied.'Los Angeles. I grew up in the Angelino Heights neighborhood.''And your parents?'Nico set his fork down. 'Both grew up in LA. Mom's family moved from New York City after World War II and my dad's family immigrated during the Korean War.'Sharon rested her elbows on the table, folding her hands together. 'Do you speak Italian or Korean?'Nico rubbed the back of his neck. 'Only the bad words in Italian. And I don't do that thing where when you throw in an Italian word, overexaggerate the pronunciation.'Carole nodded. 'Just like that lady on the cooking show with all the teeth and the boobs.''And just a smattering of Korean. My parents made us go to Korean school on Saturdays. My sister's is a little better, but she's addicted to Korean dramas on YouTube.''Is it just you and your sister?' Sharon asked.'Yeah. Emma's five years younger. She went into law, like our dad.'Deborah pushed her plate aside. 'So your father's a lawyer. Does your mother work?''High school principal. She was an English teacher for fifteen years before that.' Nico's head cocked to one side as the aunts exchanged looks amongst themselves, nodding slightly to one another.'Oh my God, Mom,' Susannah groaned. 'Undergrad, med school, and residency?''Pepperdine, Johns Hopkins, and UCLA.''How's your med school debt?''That's kinda personal.'Susannah nodded. 'Fair enough.' She passed Nico a bottle of wine. He refilled his glass. 'You have any crazy exes?''No.''Okay.' Susannah glowered at the trio. 'There. Done. You want to know about his medical history?''No, no…' Carole said hurriedly. She whipped her head around as Isaac, Alex, and Jerry launched into the first verse of "Matchmaker, Matchmaker."'Don't let your food get cold,' Susannah told Nico. She gazed at Levi, who was staring at his plate in paralyzed horror. 'You know it's only because they love you,' she said quietly to Levi, who nodded mutely. 'If Nico had been a woman, it would have been the same routine.'Levi inhaled and picked up his fork and began moving food around his plate. 'Maybe we can go back to telling embarrassing Levi stories…'Jerry snorted. 'Please. I'm sure you've already said most of them.' He shoveled a forkful of brisket into his mouth. 'You wouldn't know a filter if slapped you on the ass.'*****Levi pulled his sweater over his head and draped it over the stool in the corner of the kitchen and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He turned on the tap and began filling one side of the sink with hot soapy water. He pushed the tap to the other side of the sink and let it fill with plain water while he tugged yellow rubber gloves over his hands. Nico leaned against the counter, a dish towel in one hand, the sleeves of his sweater pushed to his elbows. 'That was…''Humiliating? Embarrassing? You're never going to talk to me again?' Levi lowered a stack of plates into the sink.Nico shook his head. 'No.' He twirled the towel between his hands. 'No. Tonight… I'm going to fall asleep with you, because I am way too full of brisket to drive home. And that was a lot of wine.''I warned you,' Levi murmured.'Wake up with you in the morning.' Nico picked up a plate from the dishrack and dried it, then put it in the cupboard. 'It wasn't anything I didn't expect,' Nico added. 'It's exactly what my aunts will do to you.' He picked up another plate. 'Still wanna go to LA for Christmas?''Do I have to wear an ugly sweater?''If Hanukkah overlaps, we'll find you the world's ugliest Hanukkah sweater.' Nico bumped Levi's shoulder with his own.Levi let out a small laugh. 'I love you.' He froze, hand suspended over the surface of a plate. The only sound in the kitchen was the sound of water dripping from Levi's sponge. 'I…'Nico gently pried the plate from Levi's grasp and let it fall back into the sink. He tugged the gloves off Levi's hands and pulled him closer. Nico lowered his head so his forehead rested against Levi's 'I love you, too.'
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'Papa!' Lily's voice rang across the room. 'I want this one!'Levi turned from the cat he was scratching under its chin to find Lily attempting to pick up a extremely large grey and white cat. Nico leaned closer to Levi. 'What the hell is that? Is that even a cat?''It's a Maine Coon,' the shelter worker said. 'He's not quite fully grown.''Jesus,' Nico breathed.'Daaaddd!' Lily giggled. She had given up trying to pick up the cat and had plopped down in the middle of the floor, the cat in her lap. He was licking her face, rather like a dog, making Lily laugh in unrestrained glee. 'I want this one!'The shelter worker patted Nico on the arm. 'They're really good with kids.''If he doesn't eat her first…' Nico said under his breath, a line deepening between his brows as LIly fell back to the floor, heedless of the cat hair on her clothes, while the cat snuggled against her.Levi glanced up at Nico. 'We promised she could pick any cat she wanted.''He's neutered, has all his shots. Doesn't mind having his claws trimmed. Even likes to go on walks with a harness and leash,' the shelter worker said brightly. 'He's been here for six months. People see his size and do a hard pass. He does tend to eat quite a bit.'Levi smiled, watching Lily stroke the cat, who rubbed his face against her chin. 'We are surgeons. It's not like we can't afford the food.''Dad!' Lily called. 'I'm gonna name him Dumbledore!'Jonathan sidled up to where Nico and Levi stood. 'Do you really want to see her turn on the waterworks, Dad? I mean, you can barely stand it when she gets shots. Imagine telling her no when she's already named the cat.'Nico gave Jonathan a sidelong glance. 'Don't gang up on me.''When was the last time you saw her so happy?' Chris asked in mock-seriousness. 'This morning, when we got into the car.''Those must be Kelly's genes. I was never that happy as a child,' Levi commented. Chris poked Levi in the arm. 'Watch. You'll get the cat, and the only people he will love are Lily and Dad. And Dad will be all, "Get off me, cat." And the cat will ignore him and curl up in Dad's lap all the time.'Lily lifted her head from the floor. 'Pleeeeeaaaaassssssse, Dad?'Nico reached for his wallet. He was officially outnumbered. 'Where do we sign and how much?'
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Jonathan let his hands rest on the piano keys. He was tired. He got tired a lot lately. Playing the piano part of Spiegel im Spiegel shouldn't have been so exhausting, but he felt like he couldn't catch his breath. One hand rose and landed on the side of his neck. He set a timer on his phone, and began counting. Fuck . Over the last year, his parents had pushed him to be more proactive, to make his own appointments with his cardiologist. To take the lead. They explained when he went to college, he'd have to be the one to do it all. They would help. They would give advice. All he had to do was ask. Jonathan pulled one foot on the edge of the bench and yanked up the leg of his jeans. His index finger pressed into his shin. The depression it left didn't disappear immediately. 'Fuck,' Jonathan muttered aloud. He slowly slid from the piano bench and picked up the phone, dialing the number of his cardiologist. 'Hi… It's Jonathan Schmitt-Kim. I need to see Dr. Bennett. Ummm. Hang on…' Jonathan trudged to the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall. 'Yeah. I can do Tuesday morning. Ten thirty? Okay. Uh, tired, short of breath… yeah. Yeah. Okay. Bye.'The back door of the house banged open. Lily and Chris ran into the kitchen, followed by Levi. 'Go change,' Levi said. 'And don't leave your uniform in the middle of the floor, Christopher! Hang it up, please.' Levi set his bag down on the kitchen island. 'Hey, kiddo,' Levi said brightly. Jonathan had to smile at that. His friends often thought that Levi was putting on an act -- the hearty sitcom dad type. Jonathan always had to explain that no, it was just his dad.'Hey, Papa.'Something in the tone of Jonathan's voice made Levi peer at his face, then pull out his stethoscope. 'Come here…''I'm fine!' Jonathan protested.Levi's head tilted to one side. 'Humor me.''Fine…' Jonathan unbuttoned his shirt just enough for Levi to slip the chestpiece of stethoscope insideLevi frowned. 'Been taking your meds?''You know I have,' Jonathan sighedLevi moved the stethoscope. 'Deep breath…' His eyes closed. 'One more…' He leaned back. 'Turn around for me…' Jonathan rolled his eyes, but turned so his back faced Levi. Levi pushed up the back of Jonathan's shirt. 'Deep breath…' The stethoscope slid across Jonathan's back. 'Again.' Levi tugged the earpieces from his ears and let them rest around his neck. 'Are you having problems breathing?'Jonathan squirmed. 'A little.' He buttoned his shirt. 'I called Bennett's office. I'm seeing him Tuesday.''What time?''Ten thirty.''Want one of us to come with you?'Jonathan opened the refrigerator. 'Not really. But one of you should.' He stared into the refrigerator. 'Will Dad be home for dinner?''Might be late. Kid with a broken hand came into the pit just as I was leaving.' Levi tried to get a look at Jonathan's fingernails, but Jonathan gave him a look. 'I'm not your patient, Papa.''You tell me if you feel worse,' Levi ordered. 'Have I ever not?' Jonathan smirked, dropping a chicken into the sink. 'Are you going to help me make dinner or not?'Levi tucked his stethoscope back into his bag. 'I can do dinner. Go get some rest.''Papa. I'm not dying,' Jonathan snapped. 'I can put a damn chicken in the oven.''Okay.' Levi rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and washed his hands. He hadn't liked what he'd heard in Jonathan's chest. He hoped the boy just needed to have his meds adjusted, and sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn't the other shoe dropping.*****Levi watched Nico undress for bed, his chin propped on his drawn-up knees. 'Do you have any surgeries Tuesday morning?'Nico shook his head. 'Why?''I have a Wilms tumor at seven. Jon has an appointment to see Bennett at ten-thirty. One of us should go with him.' Nico's shirt slipped from his nerveless fingers. It wasn't Jonathan's usual appointment with his cardiologist. 'Fluid in his lungs. Bradycardic. His hands are cold.''Shit.'They heard a loud thump from the other end of the hallway. 'Dad! Papa! Help! Jon's not breathing!' Chris' voice was shrill with fear.Levi vaulted out of bed and ran the short distance to the Jonathan's bedroom. He quickly checked Jon's airway and pulse. 'Damn,' he swore softly and began chest compressions. 'Don't you dare die on me, kiddo.' He looked up. Chris and Lily stood in the doorway, eyes wide and frightened. 'Chris, take Lily into our bedroom.' When Chris hesitated, Levi barked, 'Now!'Nico appeared behind the children, nudging them down the hall. 'You heard him. Go.' He knelt on the other side of Jonathan's body. 'EMTs are on their way. Front door's unlocked.' When Levi paused, Nico pressed his fingers to the side of Jonathan's neck, while Levi sat back on his heels, gasping for air. Nico shook his head.Levi began another round of chest compressions. 'Come on… Come on…'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nico touched Levi's shoulder and handed him a cup of coffee. 'Kelly called. Chris and Lily are at school,' he said quietly. 'Link’s picking them up at three and bringing them here.'
Levi nodded, sipping the hot coffee gratefully. 'Take him to the cafeteria and feed him or something,' Jonathan rasped, jabbing a thumb at Levi. 'Spent more time staring at my monitors than sleeping.'Casey walked in the room, followed by a group of residents.'Can you skip this one?' Nico asked.'It's a teaching hospital, Dad,' Jonathan reminded him. 'I'm aware,' Nico said woodenly.'So, let 'em learn.'Levi rubbed his thumb over the lid on his coffee cup. 'Go ahead, Casey.'Casey nodded to the intern holding a tablet. Nico glared at him, almost daring him to make a mistake in presenting the case. Dr. Kim had a reputation for being a good teacher, albeit an exacting one. Screwing up was not an option. The intern gulped and tapped nervously on the screen. Jonathan huffed, 'Oh, for fuck's sake...' He spoke louder. 'Jonathan Schmitt-Kim. Age sixteen.' He paused for a beat. 'Seventeen in two weeks. Born with a hypoplastic left heart. Had a Norwood at one week of age. Glenn at five months. Fontan at two years. Collapsed at home last night. Parents performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. Coded two times while in the pit. Experiencing bradycardia. Arrived with fluid in the lungs and mild edema. Currently receiving IV Lasix. Scheduled for transesophageal echocardiogram, MRI, and CT today.' Jonathan picked at the blanket over his knees. 'Will probably go on the transplant list due to suspected heart failure,' he added, carefully avoiding looking at his parents. Jonathan met Casey's somber gaze. 'Did I get it all?''Yeah.' Casey slipped his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. 'Treatment options?''ICD or LVAD,' one intern said quickly. 'We could try the ICD first.''But we'll wait and see what shows up on the scans.' Casey gestured for the residents to leave the room. 'I'll send a resident to take you to the echo in a about an hour.'*****'Can I come in…?' Lily stood in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot. 'Come on.' Jonathan patted the bed next to him. 'Did you bring it?'Lily dug through her backpack and emerged, brandishing Nico's copy of the first Harry Potter book. 'I even marked where we left off the other day.''Dad would be proud,' Jonathan told her, as he scooted to one side of the bed. 'Come on up, Munchkin.' Lily gave him the book, and clambered onto the foot of the bed. She crouched uncertainty. Jonathan couldn't blame her. There were tubes and wires all over the place. 'Right here,' he said, moving the IV tube. Lily carefully arranged herself next to him. Jonathan wrapped his arm around her skinny shoulders, breathing in the aroma of her strawberry-scented shampoo. 'Did I ever tell you Dad read this to me?' he murmured.'When we started reading it,' Lily giggled.Jonathan nuzzled the top of her head. 'It was after my first heart surgery.' He opened the book. 'We'll finish this one in a couple of days.''Are you gonna be okay?'
Jonathan looked down. Lily's face almost always danced with joy, but it was grave and still, eyes dark with worry. His fathers had always said they never told patients everything would be okay.
We don't make promises we can't keep
. 'I don't know, Munchkin. I need a new heart, and we have to wait. And it could be a long wait.' He kissed the top of Lily's head. 'Let's keep reading, okay?'
She nodded solemnly. 'Okay.
*****
Levi pulled into the drive of the house, and killed the ignition. He sat in the driver's seat, head back, eyes closed. He hadn't been this exhausted since his intern year. He could argue this was even worse. This was emotionally draining in a way that first year hadn't been.And he still had to go inside. Throw something together for dinner, make sure Chris and Lily ate, supervise homework, and get them both to bed before he could collapse. And all without Nico, because it was Nico's turn to spend the night at the hospital.'Papa?' Chris knocked on the car window.Levi opened the door and hauled himself out of the car and tried to smile. 'Are you hungry?''We ordered pizza. Dad left money on the kitchen table with a note before he went to the hospital.' 'Sounds great. You have homework?''Done. Lily's still working on hers.' Chris crammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 'Papa… Is Jonathan going to die?'Levi smothered the curse that rose to his lips. 'I can't promise you that he won't.''Because you don't make promises you can't keep,' Chris muttered. 'Right.' Levi leaned against the side of the car, and Chris copied him. 'How much do you want to know?"'What would Jon tell me?''That because of his blood type, it might be harder to find a donor heart.'Chris nodded. 'I never thought I'd miss all the piano playing.'*****Nico stood in the doorway of Jonathan's room. His son's eyes were closed, and his hands moved over the tray table. 'What are you practicing?'
Jonathan smiled. '
Moonlight Sonata
.'
Nico grinned. 'I like that one.'
Jonathan laughed quietly. 'You and Chris both like Beethoven. He used to pester me to play
Für Elise
all the time.' Jonathan spread his hands over the top of the tray table. 'Did I ever thank you for choosing me?'
Nico sat on the edge of the bed. 'It wasn't a choice,' he remarked. 'You were Levi's patient, and Alex Karev made him do this kangaroo thing. I'd been in a surgery and went down to the NICU. I told him I'd switch places so he could grab a bite to eat.' Nico pressed his lips together. 'The first time Levi put you in my arms, I knew you were my kid It was never a question.''Can I ask you something, Dad?''Sure.''No bullshit? 'Cause Papa won't give me a straight answer.''No bullshit.''Am I dying?'Nico's throat closed. He pressed the side of his index finger under his nose. 'No,' he croaked.Levi walked into the room. 'Not today,' he said, rounding the foot of Jonathan's bed, so he could perch on the other side. He took in a deep breath, and reached for Nico's hand. 'We should talk. The three of us.' Levi shook his head and felt his face crumple for a brief moment. 'You could be on the transplant list for a while.' He swallowed hard. 'You could be eighteen by the time a heart is directed to you. At that point, you can make your own decisions about your care.' Levi's head bowed, and the hand in Nico's convulsed. 'You're old enough now that your dad and I think you should have a say.' Levi's voice broke.Nico took up the thread of conversation. 'We -- your doctors -- can use extraordinary measures or if you want a DNR.''I thought you said I wasn't dying.'Levi exhaled strongly. 'You're not. Not today.'Nico cleared his throat. He and Levi had agreed they weren't going to get emotional. They were failing miserably. 'It's your life, kid. If you want us to let you go, we will. If you want us to throw everything we have in this hospital at you, then we will.'Jonathan stared at his fathers. 'Seriously?''Seriously.' Nico's hand closed over Jonathan's cold one. 'Can I think about it?' Jonathan asked in a small voice.'Yes,' Levi murmured. 'You should.''Can I change my mind later?''Yeah.' Nico's hand tightened around Levi's. Jonathan nodded. 'Okay. Ooookayyy.' He reached for the box of tissues on the tray table and plucked out two of them, handing one to each of his fathers, then settled into the pillows. 'When was the last time the two of you were at home at the same time?''Since the day you were brought into the ER,' Levi said, startled into telling the unvarnished truth by Jonathan's sudden turn of the conversation. 'Could you go home? Both of you? Have dinner with Chris and Lily. Even if you just grab a bag of tacos from the taco truck at the end of the street. Sleep in your own bed. You both look like shit.'Levi and Nico gaped at their son for a moment. Levi reached to smooth Jonathan's hair off his forehead. 'Are you sure?''I have residents, nurses, and at least three surgeons rotating in and out of this room. I am fine. Well, as fine as you can be while waiting for some other kid to die so you can have their heart.''You heard the man.' Miranda Bailey stood in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. 'You can’t take care of him if you don’t take care of yourselves’. When neither man moved, Miranda rolled her eyes. ‘Get out. You both need showers. You're greasy. And you can't keep monopolizing the on-call room by the NICU. The interns need somewhere to cry in private.' When neither Levi nor Nico moved, Miranda added, 'Don't make me get Karev up in here.'Nico leaned forward and kissed Jonathan on the forehead. ‘We can be here in fifteen minutes,’ he told Jonathan. ‘Ten, if Papa’s driving.’‘I know.’‘We’ll be back in the morning.’ Levi straightened the blanket over Jonathan's lap.
‘Don’t you have patients?’ Jonathan glared at Levi.
Stop hovering
.
‘We can make interns’ lives miserable from here,’ Nico said, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his jacket.'G'night, kiddo,' Levi said. 'Love you.' He left the room with only a few glances over his shoulder, tightly gripping Nico's hand.
Thank you
, Jonathan mouthed. Miranda slyly winked back.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
'Dude. I've seen corpses that look better than you.'Jonathan turned his head on the pillow. 'Hey, look who's back. What's Columbia gonna do without its resident idiot?' He smiled at the lanky young man, with Alex Karev's cocky smile and Jo Karev's large dark eyes. 'It lasted for centuries without me. It'll be fine.' George Karev shoved a chair closer to the bed. 'What happened?''Heart failure.''That sucks.'Jonathan laughed. Yeah, it does.'George picked up Jonathan's hand. 'Is this weird?''You holding my hand? No.' Jonathan sat up. 'Is it weird that your best friend still has a year of high school left, while you party it up at Columbia?''That thing that happened at spring break…?''What about it?' Jonathan looked down at his fingers clutching the edge of the blanket.'It didn't cause this…?'Jonathan's shoulders relaxed. 'No.''Good.' George grabbed the bedrail and pulled himself to his feet. He leaned over Jonathan and his mouth settled over the other boy's.Jonathan's nose wrinkled. 'Dude. I smell like hospital.'George brushed his lips over Jonathan's forehead, cheeks. 'We both practically grew up here. Hospital smell is an aphrodisiac.' Jonathan's hands slid into George's hair. 'I really missed you.'George hissed as Jonathan's cold fingers swept over the back of his neck. 'Your hands are freezing.''Failing heart.''When was the last time you had your hands on a piano?''In my head? This morning. For real? The day I came in here.'George grinned. 'Don't go anywhere.' He darted into the hallway and returned with a wheelchair and a nurse. 'There happens to be a freakin' grand piano in the lobby.' He pushed the wheelchair a little closer to the bed. 'Wanna go for a ride?' He looked at Jonathan with a small shrug. 'What? We can push the chair right up to the keyboard.''You're the only person that's thought of this.''It's because I'm amazing.' George let the bedrail down. 'Oooh. They got you the pajama pants. Not that you don't have a great ass…''Still in peds polka-dotted yellow,' Jonathan grumbled. He let George help him into the wheelchair, while the nurse transferred the IV to the pole attached to the back of the wheelchair. 'I really need to get out of here.''Well… I can only get you as far as the lobby.' George pushed the chair toward the elevators.'I need to practice. I've got auditions coming up soon.''Where are you applying?''Julliard. Peabody. Berklee. Rice. Bard. And San Francisco Conservatory, because my dads.''Those are really good schools.''And I won't have a chance in hell if I don't practice.'George leaned down. 'What are you gonna play?'Jonathan tilted his head so he could see George. 'For you? Ravel. Debussey. Maybe Chopin.''I have no idea what any of that means.'The elevator doors opened. 'You don't have to. Just listen.'George pushed Jonathan to the gleaming black piano and folded the lid covering the keys back. 'Uh, I don't think you're supposed to touch that,' a security guard rumbled.George stood up straight. 'One of his dads is an orthopedic surgeon here. The other is a pediatric surgeon. And my dad is the head of pediatric surgery. And on the hospital board. If my friend wants to play the goddamn piano, he's gonna play the goddamn piano.'Jonathan smirked. 'There's a bench,' he murmured. 'I think the IV will stretch that far.' George pulled the bench out, then helped Jonathan from the chair to the bench. He moved the wheelchair so the IV was closer to Jonathan, the slid onto the bench next to him. Clair de lune Jonathan decided. Just for George. He began to play, just for the boy sitting next to him.Neither of them noticed Alex standing on the walkway.*****Alex knocked on George's bedroom door. 'Gotta minute?''Yeah.'Alex pulled out the chair from George's desk. 'What's the story with you and Jonathan?'George's body grew unnaturally still. 'I… I…''The piano in the lobby?'George gulped. 'You saw that?''Name dropping?' Alex's head cocked to the side, while he chuckled softly. 'That's pretty damn ballsy. Evil Spawn level ballsy.'''You always said to make the grand gesture. I was just following your advice.'Alex frowned. 'He could die.''I know that.'Alex rubbed a hand over his face. It was Izzy and Denny all over again. He couldn't bear to see his own child trying to bear that level of crushing grief. 'They might not find a heart. He could have a DNR.''And I'm just supposed to let him die? And never tell him I'm in love with him?'Alex reared back. 'No, I guess not.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
'Papa…' Jonathan shifted wearily trying to find a position that didn't make him feel worse. 'Get out.'Levi's head turned. 'What?''Go. Away.' Jonathan's eyes closed. 'You're hovering. And I am going to snap at someone. And because you’re in here, you’re it.' He irritably rearranged the IV tube. 'And you have the whole puppy dog eyes thing. And you wear your heart on your sleeve. And you will get your feelings hurt. And I don't mean to do that.'Levi opened his mouth to protest, but the narrow-eyed glare from Jonathan made him swallow what he was going to say. 'Okay. I should check on my patients.' He stood and pulled on his lab coat. 'I'll see you in a bit.' Levi leaned down kissed the patch of Jonathan's cheek that was visible above the edge of his blanket.Jonathan sighed and closed his eyes again. The constant beeping sounds were getting to him. The hospital food. He would have given his left ball for Nico's risotto. His right one, too, come to think of it. Not like his dick was of much use, given the catheter jammed into it. That hadn't been pleasant, and he was beyond grateful that neither of his dads had been in the room when the nurses did it. He'd actually cried, fat tears dripping from the corners of his eyes into his hair. That the nurses had been kind made him cry even harder. Even so, he didn't think his circulation was good enough to get it up anyway. Even if George was standing in front of him naked. Naked George made him hard in the blink of an eye. Hell, even George in his underwear and a t-shirt made him hard. Don’t even get started on George in his high school wrestling singlet. It hid nothing and fueled all of Jonathan’s feverish fourteen year old fantasies.'Rough night?' George's soft voice penetrated through the shell of crankiness surrounding Jonathan, as if the mere thought of him had summoned him.'Yes.''Wanna tell me about it?' George's voice came closer and Jonathan could smell his soap.Jonathan opened his eyes just enough to make out George sitting in the chair recently occupied by Levi. 'Can't sleep in here. And when I do, I have nightmares.'George lowered the bed rail and eased onto the bed, then gathered Jonathan closer, carefully rearranging the myriad wires. 'What were they about?''Getting a heart. Rejecting it. Not getting a heart and dying in here.' To Jonathan's chagrin, he began to cry, too exhausted to do more than let the tears stream down his face. He buried his face into George's shoulder.George pressed his lips to Jonathan's damp temple and lightly stroked Jonathan's back. 'Yeah, that would suck.''And I'm trying so hard to stay positive for Lily and Chris. And Dad… And oh, God… Papa.' Jonathan didn’t think he could embarrass himself more, but soft mewling sounds escaped his lips. George's shirt grew damp under his cheek.'You're allowed to have a shitty day,' George declared. 'Or several shitty days.''I just wanna sleep…' Jonathan whined, nearly cringing at how pathetic he sounded.George tucked the blanket around Jonathan. 'I have nowhere else to be. Get some sleep. I'll protect you from the interns.'‘What about your internship?’George shrugged. ‘One, it’s with the bioengineer working with Aunt Mere. Two, he likes to work in the evenings when it’s quieter. So…. you try and get some rest. I’ll be here to fight the dragons.’‘You’re so fucking cheesy.’‘One of my many charms’.Jonathan exhaled slowly, wrapped in the warmth of George’s body. He fell asleep listening to the steady thump of George’s heartbeat.*****Levi strode into the attendings’ lounge and headed straight for the coffee pot. He poured a cup of the burnt-smelling liquid and yanked open the refrigerator, pulling out a carton of milk. He gave it a sniff out of habit and when it proved to be sour, hurled the carton at the wall, followed by the mug.Casey twisted slightly, peering the back of the couch. 'You okay?' he asked carefully.Levi threw a look at him. 'No.' His hand closed into a fist, and he slammed the side of it against the wall.Casey jumped to his feet and grabbed Levi's wrist before he could punch the wall again and damage his hand. 'If you're going to hit something, hit a pillow. Don't ruin your hand.'The aroma of curdled milk and burnt coffee was beginning to make Levi feel nauseated. Or at least that's what he was going to blame, especially when he bent over the sink and vomited. Casey none-too-gently pushed him to the couch, handed him a bottle of water and a handful of tissues, then began to clean up the mess pooled on the floor. Levi toed off his clogs and curled into a ball, forehead resting on his knees. He felt the cushion dip when Casey sat beside him. 'He asked me to leave. Said I was hovering.''Are you?'Levi straightened and pushed his hair out of his face. 'His first day in the NICU, Alex Karev made me do a kangaroo hold on him. And said if he started circling the drain he wouldn't be alone.' Levi's normally mobile face was still and he stared at the other couch without seeing it. 'That's been in the back of my mind since all this started. I may not be able to cuddle Jon skin-to-skin, but I could make sure he wasn't alone.' Levi reached for Casey's hand and gripped it tightly. 'Don't let him die.''I can't promise that.''I know.' Levi yanked off his glasses and dropped them on the table. 'Just tell me you will do everything you can. And if you run out of ideas, find someone with new ones,' he choked. The dam broke and the tears that had been threatening to spill over his cheeks since Jonathan told him to leave the room dripped down his face. 'He should be out, sneaking beer or weed. Getting laid. And instead, he's waiting for some other kid to ride a bike or a skateboard without a helmet, crash, and land on his head. And hope the other kid is B neg. That's morbid.''No different than adults.'Levi used the heel of his hand to wipe the tear stains from his face. 'Yeah… I used to sit next to his crib at night and think about everything I wanted for Jonathan. Getting on the transplant list was not one of them.' His head fell back. 'I spent the past seventeen years hoping the worst thing that would happen to him at this point is he'd have a killer hangover from some stupid party he went to because some kid's parents went out of town for the weekend.'Casey's phone beeped. He glanced at it. 'It's not UNOS,' he said, seeing the hopeful light come into Levi's eyes. 'Don't lose hope. It's only been a month.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nico sprawled face-down over his side of the bed, Levi's pillow in his arms. If he inhaled deeply enough, he could catch a whiff of Levi's scent on the pillowcase. 'Dad?' Nico rolled over. Chris stood in the doorway. 'Are you and Papa okay?'
'What?'
'Are you and Papa fighting?'
Nico sat up, beckoning to Chris, who climbed onto the foot of the bed. 'Why do you think we're fighting?'
'You're never here at the same time. My friend Morgan Chiew, when her parents split up, Morgan and her sister stayed in the house. Her parents got an apartment nearby. One parent would be in the house, the other would stay in the apartment, then they'd switch. Are you and Papa doing something like that?'
Nico's eyes closed briefly. 'No.' He picked up the remote and switched on the television, keeping the volume low. 'Wanna finish the Dodgers game with me?'
'Yeah.' Chris crawled to sit next to Nico, who glanced at him from the corner of his eye. They watched the next few pitches, then Nico said quietly, 'We're not fighting. We're
not
getting a divorce. We just want to make sure if the worst happens, Jon isn't alone.' The next batter struck out. 'It's a lot to ask of you and Lily.'
'It's okay,' Chris mumbled.
'It's not,' Nico replied. 'We'll figure something out.'
*****
Jonathan closed the book and set it aside. 'What's the matter, Munchkin?' he asked Lily.
'Nothing,' she muttered.
'You can tell me,' Jonathan insisted.
'I'm mad at you,' she said reluctantly.
'Why?'
Lily pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her hands. 'Chris said I couldn't tell you…' she grumbled mulishly.
Jonathan tipped up Lily's face. 'I won't tell him you said anything.'
Lily heaved a sigh. 'Dad and Papa are never home. They're always here with you. Chris said it's because you're sick, and that's why I couldn't tell you.'
'Do you want me to talk to Dad and Papa?'
'No.' Lily drew her knees up to her chest and rested her cheek on them. 'Chris said not to say anything.'
'Wow. Since when do you do what Chris tells you to do?'
Lily's mouth twisted to one side. 'He said it would make Dad and Papa upset… And they have enough to worry about…'
'I'm sorry…' Jonathan told her softly, stroking Lily's tumbled hair.
*****
Jonathan glanced at Chris, then went back to his book. People always thought he and Chris were biological siblings, or at least that they had the same father. It had always annoyed Jonathan, because while at least one of his biological parents was clearly Asian, he in no way resembled either Chris or Nico.
Nico wasn't the emotionally demonstrative type, but it was always obvious when Nico was upset about something, even if he said nothing. Chris had inherited that trait in spades. Even so, Chris was usually so exuberant about his passions, you couldn't get him to shut up about them. Lately, it had been a trip to San Diego for Comic-Con. It had been a birthday present, a trip for him and Levi. They were the only ones who would appreciate it. Chris had damn near cried when he opened the card from Levi. And now it seemed as if it might not happen. Because neither of their dads would leave the damn hospital.
'Chris…' Jonathan said into the yawning silence between them. Chris turned his head to gaze out the window. 'I'm sorry, man…'
'Not your fault,' came the faint reply.
'Still not fair to you and Lily.'
Chris
tsked
irritably. 'Dude. Nothing about this is fair.'
*****
'Can we talk?' Jonathan blurted, pushing his breakfast aside. It was oatmeal. And he despised oatmeal.
Levi paused, a cup of coffee raised halfway to his mouth. 'Sure.'
Jonathan inhaled and exhaled slowly. 'Stop camping out in here.'
'What?' Nico scrubbed his hands over his face. It had been his turn to stay overnight, and the cot was more uncomfortable than an on-call room bed. He took Levi's coffee and took a large swallow.
'You're both here. All the time. After rounds, in between patients. You take turns sleeping here. And I know you're scared. I'm scared. But you're stressing me out. And you're neglecting Chris and Lily.'
'We're not neglecting them,' Levi objected.
Jonathan shook his head. 'Papa, they haven't seen the two of you together outside of the hospital in nearly two months. Lily's angry, Chris has all but checked out. Or have you noticed?' He fiddled with the paper napkin from his tray. 'Take Chris to Comic-Con. Please.'
'But…' Levi began, but Jonathan cut him off.
'You being here won't make a heart magically appear. You being in this room won't keep me from dying, if I don't get one. You have two other kids who
need
you, too.' Jonathan threw the napkin down. 'I don't want them to be relieved when I'm dead, because they'll get their parents back.'
'Jonathan…' Nico murmured.
'You want me to make decisions about my care? Fine. I'm making one right now. You can check on me while you're on duty. You can have breakfast with me if you have an early surgery. You can bring Chris and Lily and we can have dinner around my bed as a family. If you still insist on sleeping in here, fine. But go home first.' Jonathan pushed his hair off his forehead. 'I could be here for months… You can't keep doing this.'
Nico returned Levi's coffee. 'I've got a surgery… I still need a shower...'
'Nico…' Levi stopped him with a hand on his elbow.
'We can talk about this later.' Nico grabbed his lab coat from the back of a chair and left the room.
'You know I'm right, Papa,' Jonathan said, as soon as Nico disappeared from view.
'Yeah.'
*****
'You brought cribbage?' Jonathan looked askance at the game George held in his hands. 'That's something my grandfather plays.'
'I'm tired of you kicking my ass at Scrabble. I need to level the playing field.'
'How did you get into Columbia?' Jonathan teased.
'Contrary to popular belief, George Karev is not a Neanderthal. Math, science, taking things apart and putting them back together, that's something that came to me like breathing. Like the way you play the piano.' George set a bag on Jonathan's tray table and climbed onto the foot of the bed. 'I wouldn't dare be stupid, what with Mom graduating from Princeton and Harvard. She'd disown me.' George's eyes flicked to the side table. 'What's that?' he asked, gesturing with his chin.
'DNR paperwork.'
'Oh.'
'It's not filled out or signed.' Jonathan reached for it. His fingernails were slightly blue, George noticed. 'I've been so lucky. I should have died when I was born. From exposure, if not the heart defect. Or during any of my surgeries. I could have died six weeks ago. I just… I wish I knew when my luck was going to run out. It would make it so much easier to decide whether to fill this out or not.' He replaced the papers on the side table. 'My dads said it would be my decision either way.'
'And?'
‘I’m feeling lucky today.'
'When you get a heart,' George began.
'If,' Jonathan corrected.
'
When
you get a heart,' George stubbornly continued. 'Let's go on a, you know… a real date.'
'You mean where you pick me up, make awkward small talk with my dads while I put my coat on, and we…?'
'Eat pancakes at that weird diner near Udub. I'll order extra bacon and let you steal half of it. Go see a movie that got shitty reviews, so we can sit in the back and make out. At that one where the seats recline.'
'Dinner and a movie? How prosaic.'
'Game night at the library downtown?' George suggested
'I like that…'
'If it was in New York… Walk through Central Park. Takeout Chinese from the hole-in-the-wall a block from my ridiculously tiny apartment, Eat sitting on the floor, because the apartment's just big enough for my bed, a TV tray, my desk, and a couple of chairs.'
'And then…?'
'And then we take your new heart out for a spin.' George grinned with an unmistakable leer.
'Oh.' Jonathan gazed at George in bemusement.
'Well, more precisely, take your new heart out of your clothes and put it in my bed.'
Jonathan blushed. He could see his fathers standing by the nurses' station and hoped they hadn't heard. 'You're still gonna want me after all this? Even after seeing me in a peds hospital gown?'
George leaned forward. 'Jonathan Benjamin Schmitt-Kim. I will want you until the day I die. And if you die first, I will kill you.'
'You know we're both basically kids, right?'
George made a dismissive gesture. 'I dated guys in high school. I've dated guys at Columbia. Not a huge number, but enough. Slept with a few of them. And they were nice. They were all very nice guys. Never could imagine myself with them for very long.' He rolled the hem of his t-shirt between his fingers. 'I dunno. Maybe you should date other guys when you get out of here.'
Jonathan snorted. 'I have dated other guys, as you so eloquently put it.' He rearranged himself on the bed. 'Not a lot. But a few.' He squinted at George. 'Can't say I've slept with any of them, though.' He chuckled to himself. 'Then again, we had early curfews. And went out in groups…'
'Held hands under the table at Starbucks?'
'Something like that.'
George rested his elbows on the tray table. 'You are different from anyone I've dated, though.'
Jonathan began to set up the cribbage board. 'How so?'
'Most people at school saw me as the jock with a brain. Then when I came out, I was the gay jock with a brain. In New York, I'm the kid from Seattle that wears jeans, hiking boots, and fleece, and complains about the lack of good coffee. To Mom and Dad… I'm their non-hospital legacy. I'm proof they weren't too fucked up to reproduce and raise a fairly well-adjusted child, given their dysfunctional childhoods.' George raked a hand through his hair. 'I mean, they love me for
me
, and all that, but…'
'I know.'
'But to you… I'm George. If I'd stayed in Seattle, went to Udub, and majored in art, it wouldn't matter to you. You saw
all
of me when no one else did.' He gnawed a thumbnail. 'And I love you.'
Jonathan froze with the pack of cards in his hands. 'Say what now?'
'I love you.' George straightened, so he held himself a little stiffly. 'You don't have to say anything back.'
Jonathan reached for one of George's hands. 'I want to say it back. Just not yet.' He took as deep a breath as he could. 'I've lived most of my life not making plans. My dads did, which is why I had a bar mitzvah and a list of colleges and conservatories that I want to apply to. But personally? When you know that you could die before you've really lived, you don't think about what happens after you graduate high school.' He ran his thumb over the palm of George's hand. 'That doesn't mean I don't feel it, though…'
'Okay.' George kept his eyes on the cribbage board. 'Your dads still at the nurses' station?'
'Yeah.'
George nodded and took the cards from Jonathan and began to shuffle them. 'Remind me to kiss you later.'
Nico leaned on the PICU nurses' station, watching George and Jonathan talk over cribbage. 'Is it weird they're together so much?' he asked Levi.
Levi shook his head. 'No. George is the next best thing to a kangaroo hold we have. And if he's the spark that keeps Jonathan alive long enough for a heart, then I will be eternally grateful. And I won't even know how to begin to thank him.' He leaned over the counter, trying to get a look at Jonathan's monitor.
'Dr. Schmitt....' Keisha speared him with a look over the edge of a computer screen. 'Don't make me call Dr. Bailey.' Nico casually reached for a tablet. 'And you're locked out of his charts. You know the rules.' The nurse relented just a little. 'He's more comfortable when George is in there.' She glanced at Jonathan's room. 'Not as dramatic as a kangaroo hold with a baby, but it's something.'
Nico grabbed Levi's hand and pulled him into an thankfully empty on-call room, then locked the door. Levi gave him a quizzical glance. Nico snorted. 'I'm so not in the mood,' Nico huffed. 'And I'm too damn old to do anything in an on-call room bed, except sleep.'
Levi lowered himself to one of the beds. 'Oh, thank God,' he breathed. 'I was about to question your sanity.'
Nico sat on the bed next to Levi and leaned back against the wall. 'We need to talk about this morning.'
'Yeah.'
'Are we hovering?'
'We're Jews. We hover,' Levi said. 'But maybe we could do a little less.' He leaned against Nico's side, and pillowed his head on Nico's shoulder.
'Or just hover from a distance.' Nico buried his nose in Levi's hair inhaling deeply. 'And take Chris to Comic-Con. It's just a few days, and Jon's stable.'
'Not stable enough to leave the hospital,' Levi pointed out acerbically.
'Stable enough for you to take Chris to San Diego for two days.'
'Okay.' Levi blew out a slow breath.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
‘I want to give Jonathan low dose chemo and radiation,’ Casey said. ‘Why?’ Nico asked, glancing up from a patient’s chart. ‘Won’t that depress his immune system?’ ‘That’s the idea.’ Casey took a sip of coffee. ‘When we harvest the donor heart, we will also harvest bone marrow. The day after the transplant, we’ll give him the donor bone marrow. There’s a really good chance Jonathan won’t need anti-rejection meds.’ Levi rubbed a hand over his mouth. ‘But he’ll be in isolation.’ ‘He’s at the top of the list,’ Casey said. ‘It could be days. A couple of weeks.’ ‘It’s been three months,’ Levi interrupted. ‘Going into isolation for months will break him.’ ‘But that means he won’t have to take anti-rejection meds for the rest of his life,’ Nico said, laying a hand over Levi’s. 'There's a chance it won't work, and he will need the meds,' Casey cautioned. 'See?' Levi said. 'Why subject him to isolation if we don't have to?' 'And why subject him to the effects of the meds? They could damage his kidneys, cause osteoporosis, diabetes… It'll make him more susceptible to infections,' Nico pleaded. 'And you'll let him move all the way across the country to go to college with all that?' 'He can go to college here,' Levi said mulishly. Nico stood up and snatched his lab coat from the back of a chair. 'Gay sherpa!' he ground out. 'You can't call gay sherpa on this!' Levi retorted. 'I can call gay sherpa whenever I think you're being an ass!' Nico yanked the door of the lounge open and stalked out. Levi flung himself back in the chair. 'He's being ridiculous.' 'But I'm not,' Casey said. 'I think we should try this. If it works, it's so much better for Jonathan. If it doesn't…' Casey shrugged. 'We'll know soon enough and can start the meds.' Casey leaned across the table and laid his hand over Levi's. 'We've known each other since we were interns. I wouldn't suggest anything that I wouldn't want to try with my own kids.' 'Isolation, though.' 'It's temporary.' Casey gave Levi's hand a pat. 'Just think about it, okay?' 'I need numbers.' Casey spread his hands over the table. 'Seventy-five percent success rate.' He stood up. 'That's not nothing.' ***** Nico wandered into the library. 'Hey, Kathleen.' 'Dr. Kim, what can I do for you?' Nico leaned against the librarian's desk. 'I need anything you can find on using chemo and radiation to suppress the immune system before a solid organ transplant, followed by an infusion of donor bone marrow.' Kathleen jotted down Nico's question on a notepad. 'Anything else?' 'Success rate with heart transplants, and success rate in teenaged patients.' 'When do you need this by?' Kathleen asked. 'As soon as possible?' 'Give me an hour. Most of this should be on PubMed and MedLine. Print or digital?' 'Print.' 'It'll cost you,' Kathleen warned. 'Chai latte, soy milk, two good squeezes of honey.' Nico paused. 'The largest one they have.' Kathleen glanced at her watch. 'Come back after rounds. I'll have something ready.' 'You're the best,' Nico called over his shoulder, as he left the library. ***** Jonathan sat up. 'What do you mean I won't have to take anti-rejection meds?' 'Don't get your hopes up,' Nico warned. 'I haven't read all the research, but what I have read says this is a really good option. And since you're so young, if there's a chance you don't have to take the meds for the rest of your life, other than having to be in isolation until the transplant…' 'If it were you, would you do it?' Jonathan asked. 'I would.' Nico wrapped a hand around Jonathan's ankle. 'But hang on. I don't have a rare blood type,' he said, as Jonathan's eyes lit up. 'You'd have to stay behind a wall. And the only way anyone ever gets to get through the wall is if they scrub, like for surgery. And do masks and gowns and gloves and caps… And then it's only for a few minutes. We can still see you, talk to you, but there will be a wall between us. And they'll have to check to see if any of us are running a fever before they'll let us step foot in the room. They don't want to risk anyone having an infection.' ' You told him! ' Levi nearly shouted from the doorway 'You told him without talking with me first?' His eyes narrowed. 'Gay sherpa,' he hissed. 'Oh, come on!' Nico shot back. 'You can't call gay sherpa on this.' 'You went behind my back,' Levi exclaimed, throttling his voice back to a growl. 'I did no such thing!' Nico retorted. 'Yes, you did!' Levi's shoulders had risen to his ears. 'You came in here, without discussing any of this with me.' He gesticulated wildly. 'I am his other parent!' Levi stood completely still. 'Gay. Sherpa,' he hissed, jabbing a finger toward Nico with each word. He spun on a heel and stalked down the hall. Jonathan shifted uneasily. The PICU had had gone eerily silent in the wake of Levi and Nico's brief, but intense, argument. 'I'm going to guess that Papa doesn't agree with you,' he said. 'No.' Nico gathered the printouts and his lab coat. 'That would be an understatement. He feels that doing the chemo method would put you at unnecessary risk. He's worried that we do all the chemo and radiation and isolation, and you still have to take the meds.' 'You said it was my life,' Jonathan stated. 'Yeah.' 'I want to do it.' 'Are you sure?' 'If it works, great. If not, then oh well.' Jonathan rubbed a hand over his face. 'No harm in trying?' 'Okay. I'll talk to Levi.' Nico frowned. 'When he calms down.' ***** Nico checked his phone. No messages or missed calls. He thumbed through his contacts, tapping Levi's number. It went straight to his voice mail. 'Levi… I'm picking up the kids from the community center. I'll see you at home.' He hung up. 'I hope.' Nico's head fell wearily against the headrest. He'd searched the hospital for Levi. Had him paged. Levi's car wasn't in his parking space. They'd argued before. Of course they had. But they'd always cooled off after a few hours. 'Hi, Dad.' Chris climbed into the backseat, followed by Lily. 'I thought Papa was picking us up today?' 'Something came up,' Nico said neutrally. 'What do you guys want for dinner?' Chris studied Nico's face in the rearview mirror. 'Doesn't matter,' he said, noting Nico's blank face. 'But…' Lily objected. Chris elbowed her, and shook his head. 'Hang your swimsuits up when we get home, so they can dry, okay?' Nico said, trying to act as if everything was normal. He pulled into the driveway of the house. Levi's car wasn't there. He unlocked the door, and let Chris and Lily into the house. He stayed behind on the porch, dialing Levi's number once more. 'Levi… Come on, man. We need to talk about this, and we can't do it if you won't pick up the fucking phone. Call me. Or come home. We have to give Casey an answer as soon as we can.' He disconnected the call and shoved his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. ***** Levi glanced down at his phone. He tapped "Ignore" and took another sip of his beer. Nico was not his favorite person right now. 'Dr, Schmitt, I think I need to call you a cab,' the bartender, Elise, said. 'You can leave your car here. I won't have it towed.' 'Can I finish my beer first?' Levi asked, propping his elbows on the bar. 'Sure.' Elise put a glass of water next to the beer with a significant glance at Levi. 'Drink that, too, while you're at it.' Levi grunted and pointedly ignored the water, lifting the beer to his lips and draining the bottle. He lifted his phone and deleted Nico's messages, then dropped it back onto the bar. 'Your cab's here,' Elise said softly. Levi slid off the stool and stumbled out of the bar. He managed to climb into the back of the cab and give his address to the driver. He rolled down the window and let the evening breeze wash over his face, lest he vomit all over the cab. The cab came to a stop in front of his house and he paid the fare, then opened the door and heaved himself out of the cab. Lily ran across the yard. 'Papa!' she yelled, throwing her arms around his waist. Her nose wrinkled in distaste. 'You stink.' 'I do, huh?' Levi angled his head to sniff his armpit. She was right. 'Did you have dinner?' 'Uh-huh.' Lily nodded vigorously. 'Good.' Levi clumsily patted Lily's head. 'Is Dad home?' 'Yeah. He's in kitchen.' 'Okay,' Levi mumbled. He lurched to the house, and let himself in. He heard water running in the kitchen, and turned to the stairs, using both hands to grip the bannister. Levi shuffled into his bedroom and sat heavily on the foot of the bed. 'Where the hell have you been?' Nico said. He leaned against the doorframe, a blue-wrapped bundle in one hand. 'Drinking.' Levi fumbled for the buttons on his shirt. 'Clearly.' 'We need to talk.' 'We needed to talk this morning,' Levi spat. 'But you just…' He made a dismissive motion with a hand. 'He wants to try it.' 'Yeah. Because you made it sound like it was completely amazing.' 'You know why I went to Jon first?' Nico asked, scowling. 'Because all you see with this are the deathtraps.' Nico strode into the bedroom and began to prepare an IV, hanging a bag filled with pale yellow liquid from the floor lamp next to the bed and sat next to Levi. He shoved Levi's shirt off his shoulders and roughly pulled it off, then put on a pair of gloves, tied the tourniquet around Levi's bicep and began to prod the inside of his forearm for a suitable vein. 'Trust me. I discussed the risks.' 'What're you doing?' 'Banana bag,' Nico said shortly. He swabbed a patch of skin with alcohol and inserted the IV needle. Once the catheter and IV tubes were securely taped to Levi's arm, he attached the banana bag. Nico gathered the used supplies to dispose of them. 'Don't touch that,' he ordered. Levi flopped back, arms spread wide. 'I see the deathtraps, because you won't.' 'I disagree,' Nico retorted. 'Then we'll just have to agree to disagree,' Levi mumbled. His eyes closed and he fell asleep. ***** 'Hey, Tyler,' Jo said. 'Seen George?' Tyler nodded toward Jonathan's room. 'Where else would he be?' Jo walked toward the open door, hitching her bag higher on her shoulder. Jonathan lay curled in his bed, asleep. On the other side of the thick plastic wall, George sat in a chair, his feet propped up in another. His head rested against the high back of the chair. Jo strode into the room. 'George, come on,' she said softly. He didn't move. 'George…?' He was asleep, a sketchbook open on his lap. Jo frowned at the drawing. He'd drawn Jonathan lying in the hospital bed, surrounded by all the machines and monitors. On one side of the plastic wall, George had drawn himself from the back, standing, hands by his side, staring at a terrifyingly beautiful figure on the other side of the wall, whose hand rested against Jonathan's cheek in a loving caress. Jo's head tilted to the side and she squinted slightly. 'It's the Angel of Death, Mom,' George said, his voice scratchy with sleep. 'Or the Grim Reaper. Your choice.' 'Is it still the Angel of Death if Jonathan's Jewish?' 'Beats the hell outta me,' George yawned, stretching the kinks from his back. 'Why is he so… pretty?' George studied the drawing. 'The better to persuade people to go with him?' He closed the sketchbook and retrieved the pencil that had fallen to the floor. 'What time is it?' 'Ten-thirty.' Jo held out George's jacket. 'Are you hungry?' 'Nah.' George followed Jo out of the room, glancing over his shoulder. 'Not today, man,' he murmured. 'So back the fuck off.' 'What did you say?' Jo asked. 'Nothing.' ***** 'You done for the day?' Alex asked, as George left Meredith's lab, following Elliot, the bioengineer working on her latest project, into the hallway. 'Yep.' 'Come on.' 'See you tomorrow,' George said to Elliot. 'Where're we going?' 'I'm gonna teach you how to scrub,' Alex said. 'Why?' 'You wanna hang out with Jonathan on the other side of the wall or not?' 'Yeah.' Alex handed him a set of resident's scrubs. 'Go change.' George slipped into the thankfully empty on-call room and quickly changed from his jeans and t-shirt. He met Alex next to a set of sinks in a cubicle. 'Put these over your shoes,' Alex told him, handing George a set of shoe covers. He then gave George one of his spare scrub caps, then a mask. Alex checked George's temperature, and when it proved to be normal, grunted in satisfaction. He opened the scrub pack and took out the nail file. 'Do exactly what I do,' he instructed. ‘Okay.' George watched carefully, copying his father's actions. 'How sterile is this?' Alex shrugged. 'Not surgical grade sterile, but it will be fine for Jon.' He began to dry his hands and arms. 'You get ten minutes.' Alex snapped on a pair of gloves. 'Seriously?' Alex held up a gown, and George slid his arms into the sleeves. 'Fine, fifteen,' Alex relented, tying the strings. He helped George put on a pair of gloves. 'Keep that mask on. If I find out that you took it off, I'm kicking your ass all the way to Wyoming.' They walked into Jonathan's room. 'Fifteen minutes,' Alex reminded George, breaking the seal on the wall just enough for George to slip through. 'Thanks, Dad.' George sat on the edge of the bed. 'Hey.' 'What are you doing in here?' Jonathan asked. 'Saving you from hours of loneliness and boredom. For the next fifteen minutes.' 'Cool.' 'I thought I'd ask if I can take off a semester this fall,' George blurted. 'Why would you want to do that?' 'I don't want to leave you alone.' 'I'm not alone,' Jonathan said, with only a slight eye roll. 'Nurses, residents, and surgeons, oh my!' The lighthearted expression on his face fell. 'Look, I want you to go back to Columbia. I want you to live like a normal college kid. Run naked through Central Park at midnight because someone dared you to. Get drunk. Just because I have to hit pause on my life, it doesn't mean you should.' 'But…' Jonathan took both of George's hands in his. 'I mean it.' 'I could take classes at Udub.' 'You'd hate it.' Jonathan leaned back against the pillows. 'And the credits won't necessarily transfer.' 'I could do a directed study with Elliot,' George stated. 'George.' Jonathan's voice was quiet, but the edge of anguish rang loudly against the sounds of the monitors. George swallowed hard and gripped Jonathan's hands tightly. 'You don't want me here if…' 'Yeah.' George glanced down at their hands. 'I'll call you every night.' 'Good. I expect nothing less.' Jonathan grinned crookedly. 'You can help me with my math and science homework.' 'How are you going to attend class?' 'Video feed. Papa's already arranged it.' Jonathan pleated the edge of the sheet. 'As if I wasn't already a freak. At least they won't expect the uniform.' George laughed, eyes crinkling over the edge of the mask. 'You really think Headmaster Gilmore will let you get away with that?' He drew himself up, eyes rounding with seriousness. 'Mister Schmitt-Kim! Heart failure is no excuse to relax the standards of Wellington Academy. The machines that are keeping you alive should not be an obstacle to personal appearance. Starched, ironed white shirt, school tie, and a blazer,' he intoned. 'We shall permit you to forgo trousers, seeing as you have a catheter that has taken up residence in your dick.' Jonathan giggled, fist lightly pounding the mattress. 'Oh my God. It sounds just like him!' He gasped for air. 'Oh, don't make me laugh…' 'You know he'll make you do the uniform, even if it's just the top half,' George said, reaching for the oxygen mask. He held it up inquiringly, but Jonathan shook his head. 'Your dads still not talking?' Jonathan pressed his lips together. 'They… talk. In each other's direction. And it's so weird. They're always a little on the so warm and fuzzy side that it makes you want to throw up in your mouth a little.' He pinched the bridge of his nose. 'They've fought before. Had disagreements. But they always kiss and make up.' 'They're stressed out.' Jonathan felt a spasm of guilt. 'I know.' He looked down at his hands. 'It's my fault.' 'I spent a lot of time in peds when I was a kid,' George said. 'Waiting for Dad to finish a surgery or check on a patient post-op, and he'd always see parents do this. Fight. And it could get vicious. They're stressed. And scared. And they lash out, because as a parent you're supposed to keep your kid safe. They feel like they're failing as parents.' He shrugged. 'Or at least that's what Dad would tell them. And then he'd tell them that sometimes stuff just happens, and it doesn't make them a failure as a parent.' George leaned forward, tilting Jonathan's face upward. 'And this isn't your fault. Your dads fighting? It's not your fault, either.' 'Time's up,' Alex called from the door. 'Call you later?' George asked. 'I'll have to check my schedule. I'm very busy lying here.' ***** The shrill ringtone jerked Casey from a sound sleep. 'Dr. Parker,' he muttered. 'Dr. Parker, it's Dr. Bennett. UNOS called.' Casey sat up, wide awake. 'Go on.' 'They have a heart for Jonathan. It's in San Francisco. A fourteen year old in an MVC.' Casey flung the bedding back and slid out of bed. 'Who's going to collect the heart?' 'Dr. Nguyen. He's already on his way to the airport.' 'Okay. Call him. Remind him not to leave without bone marrow.' 'Yes, sir.' 'And Bennett? Don't you dare say a word to Jonathan. I want to tell him.' 'Yes, sir.' The resident disconnected the call.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Casey met the on-call residents at the PICU nurses' station. 'Sidhu, get pre-op labs, but don't say a word.' 'Why?' The intern looked puzzled. 'Isn't this good news?' Casey sighed. 'Bennett, why don't you tell Sidhu why we're not telling Jonathan about the heart yet?' 'We want confirmation from Dr. Nguyen that the donor heart is suitable for transplant. No use getting prepped when the organ might be damaged.' Casey glanced at his watch. 'He should be at the hospital in San Francisco soon.' He gestured in the direction of Jonathan's room. 'Labs. Now. I want to be in the OR by the time Nguyen calls.' 'Yes, sir!' The intern scrambled to gather the necessary equipment.. Casey's phone chirped. 'Dr. Parker.' 'It looks good. All the labs are optimal. They've just made the first incision,' Nguyen said. 'I'll know more when they open the chest, but I'm optimistic.' 'Call when you're getting back on the plane,' Casey ordered. He disconnected the call. 'Bennett, go book an OR. One without a gallery.' 'If I can't get one without a gallery?' Casey rubbed a hand over the back of his head. 'Then we'll have to use that one.' He exhaled. 'I'll just have to threaten Nico and Levi with bodily harm,' he muttered. ***** Levi stared at the wall. He could hear Nico breathing behind him. The space between them in the bed might as well have been as large as the Pacific Ocean. As a surgeon, he had known that Casey's procedure was a sound option. As a parent, the idea of it frightened him. And if Jonathan hadn't been his son, he would have recommended it. Sure, he'd been furious with Nico for going to Jonathan without him. He imagined - once he’d sobered up - that Nico would have felt the same had the situation been reversed. Levi had dim memories of Nico admitting he shouldn't have talked to Jonathan while he changed out the IV bag the night Levi had come home so drunk he could barely stand. They should have let Casey present the chemo and radiation option, Nico said. Levi had gone back to sleep with the sensation of Nico stroking his hair. He might have imagined that bit. When Levi woke up the next day, Nico was gone. The IV had been removed and only a Batman band-aid marked it had been there. A folded sheet of paper rested on Nico's pillow with his name scrawled across it in Nico’s angular writing.
I called the hospital and told them you’re not feeling well. Karev’s taking your neuroblastoma, but the other surgeries have been rescheduled.
I also called Casey. He’s going to speak with Jon today. Like the DNR, this should be Jonathan’s decision.
Chris and Lily are at the community center. I’ll pick them up later.
And that was it. The last month they had spoken only the bare minimum to one another. They had coordinated Chris and Lily's schedules. Chris would enter Wellington Academy in September. Levi took him to orientation and ordered his uniform. Lily had had a growth spurt, and Nico ordered new uniforms for her. They had mentioned all this in passing to one another. They had each bought school supplies for Jonathan, Chris, and Lily, but hadn't mentioned it to each another, so now the kids had two of everything. They slept in the same bed, but where they had once turned to one another before, they now clung to the edge of the mattress. Levi reckoned he loved Nico more now than that long-ago night he'd blurted out the first "I love you." But he'd deeply hurt Nico by ignoring his texts and phone calls. And the morning after their fight, Levi had been so embarrassed by his behavior, that he didn't know how to make up for it. Saying "I'm sorry" might have gotten him somewhere with Nico, but Levi felt it wasn't enough. Levi's phone rang, breaking his reverie. He reached for it and sat up. It was Casey. 'Yeah?' 'Is Nico with you?' Levi glanced over his shoulder. Nico was sitting up. He clearly hadn't been sleeping, either. 'Yeah.' 'Put your phone on speaker,' Casey said. Levi frowned. 'Okay.' He tapped the speaker icon and set the phone on the bed between them. 'Go on.' 'We have a heart.' 'Are you serious?' Nico breathed. 'Nguyen's on his way back with the heart now.' 'What do we know about the donor?' Levi asked. 'Fourteen year old boy in San Francisco. It was an MVC.' 'How soon are you taking Jon to the OR?' Nico asked. 'How soon can you be here?' Casey responded. 'Twenty minutes,' Levi said, already climbing out of bed, and yanking on his jeans. Casey closed his eyes for a moment. He didn’t want to keep the heart on ice for too long, and he still had to remove the LVAD. ‘I can wait that long.' 'Okay.' Nico hung up and jerked a pair of jeans over his hips. Levi threw a pair of socks and Nico. 'What about Chris and Lily?' Nico hopped on one foot pulling on a sock. 'Leave them. It's three thirty in the morning. When they take him back into the OR, one of us can come back and get them.' He dashed into the bathroom long enough to poke a toothbrush into his mouth. Levi hand stilled on the laces of his runners. It made sense. Besides, they didn't have time to argue about it. He copied Nico's actions and hastily brushed his teeth. 'Let's go,' he said, spitting into the sink. They ran down the stairs and got into Levi's car. How they got to Grey+Sloan, Nico couldn't say. Levi parked and they tumbled out of the car and ran into the hospital. Nico jabbed the elevator button several times in rapid succession. 'Come on…' The ride to the PICU seemed to take twice as long as it usually did. The doors began to open and Nico squeezed through the opening, Levi hot on his heels. They skidded into Jonathan's room. 'Hey, kiddo,' Levi panted. 'Papa! Dad! You made it!' 'Of course we did,' Nico said. Jonathan adjusted the cap covering his head. 'Thank you… for being my dads. I mean, you picked me.' Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. 'Even though you knew this could happen someday…' Levi held up a hand and let it rest on his side of the isolation wall. 'Don't cry… you'll make me cry…' he sniffed. Jonathan managed a laugh. 'Can one of you call George? Casey says it's going to take all day.' 'Absolutely,' Nico told him. He placed his hand on the wall next to Levi's. 'Jonathan, it's time to go.' Casey stood in the doorway. 'I love you,' Jonathan said, sliding down in the bed. 'Love you,' Levi murmured. 'Love you, man,' Nico said thickly. Casey nodded to the gowned, gloved, and masked residents. Jonathan put on a mask. The residents broke the seal on the wall, and began the process to transport him to the OR. Levi followed the procession into the hallway. He took a few steps, then stopped. Nico stood behind him. One of his hands slowly rose and landed on Levi's shoulder. Levi reached up and touched the back of Nico's hand. Casey walked over to them. 'We'll send out updates.' 'Can we wait in the attendings lounge?' Levi asked, swallowing hard. 'Sure.' They had already stretched protocol, and waiting was waiting, regardless of where one did it. 'It's going to be a long day.' Casey set off in the direction of the OR, his bright red scrub cap bobbing in the sea of pale green, light blue and navy blue scrubs. 'Come on…' Nico's hand slid down Levi's arm and grasped his hand. 'I'll be there in a minute. I just need…' Levi tugged his hand from Nico's and stumbled away. 'Levi…' Levi disappeared around a corner. Nico took a deep breath and checked his watch. Casey wouldn't send anyone out with an update for a few hours. It was far too early to drag Chris and Lily out of bed. Nico set off for the attendings lounge. He rummaged in his small cubby and shoved a handful of black suede in his pocket, then grabbed a small book. The chapel of Grey+Sloan wasn't quite as non-denominational as it proclaimed on the plaque next to the door, but it would do. And at four in the morning, it was likely to be deserted. Nico wasn't what he would call observant. They didn't keep kosher as a family. As much as he and Levi tried to keep Friday nights and Saturday mornings and afternoons free, people crashed their cars, fell out of buildings, got hurt playing sports, slipped and fell, and otherwise behaved in ways that ultimately required surgery. Chris had swim meets. Jonathan had recitals. But when the stars aligned, Friday evenings were Nico’s favorite time of the week. Nico wasn't even sure if he believed in God. But there was something about the rhythms of the prayers that kept him grounded. He slipped into the chapel and stopped short. Levi sat in one of the pews, a tissue covering the crown of his head, lips moving soundlessly. Nico slid into the pew next to Levi and pulled what proved to be three kippahs from his back pocket. He removed the tissue from Levi's head and replaced it with one of the kippahs in his hand, then placed one on his own head. Nico laced his fingers through Levi's cold ones. They'd argued before. Disagreed about how they parented their children. They'd even worked together on cases when Levi became a senior resident, then an attending, and disagreed about a course of treatment. But they'd always managed to come to a compromise. Jonathan's care had been the one thing where they hadn't been able to reach a middle ground. He'd seen it before with pediatric patients' parents. Nico just hadn't figured he and Levi would be those parents when push came to shove. The truth of the matter was, no matter how angry they'd been with one another, Levi had never ignored him. And Nico had never had major discussions with the children without Levi. It had been a serious breach of trust. Nico's head bowed slightly. "I'm sorry" felt inadequate in the face of the chasm that had grown between them. Levi's lips parted and he shifted slightly. His mouth worked a few times before he said quietly, 'I'm sorry…' Nico's fingers tightened around Levi's. 'I am, too,' he sighed, closing his eyes. 'I have never been so scared in my life,' Levi admitted. 'Same.' 'And if we lose him?' Nico drew in a shuddering breath. 'I can't think about that. I'm not being brave or optimistic. I literally cannot think past the next hour.' Levi closed the few inches between them and burrowed into Nico's side. 'I've been seeing the death traps because I didn't want to let myself hope too much.' 'Sucks to be doctors sometimes.' Nico moved his arm so he could wrap it around Levi's shoulders. 'You've been in on heart transplants before…' 'Yeah.' 'How long is this gonna take?' Levi frowned. 'Ordinarily, four hours. But the LVAD and prior surgeries add some… difficulties. Not necessarily life-threatening difficulties, though.' One shoulder lifted in a slight shrug. 'Eight? Maybe twelve.' A smile slowly spread over Levi's face. 'But when the heart profuses, and it starts beating again. It's magical. And they look so much better, even when you're waiting for them to wake up.' He looked up at Nico. 'Think about that.' ***** Alex knocked briefly on George's bedroom door. 'Get up,' he said. 'Wha'... Why…?' George propped himself up on his elbows. He peered at the clock next to his bed. 'It's six in the morning…' Alex shifted from foot to foot. George knew that particular move. 'They found a heart for Jonathan. He's been in surgery for the last couple of hours.' George sat up. 'Really? Can I go to the hospital? Dad, please!' 'I don't think I could stop you,' Alex said dryly. 'Get dressed and meet me downstairs. You've got ten minutes.' George nodded and lunged out of bed, grabbing his discarded jeans and the first clean t-shirt that came to hand from the laundry basket next to his bed. He rummaged in his partially-packed suitcase for a pair of socks and dashed into the bathroom long enough to haphazardly brush his teeth, then ran for the stairs, tripping over his own feet in the rush. He sat on a riser and pulled the socks on, then shoved his feet into his runners. 'Let's go.' Alex tossed George's jacket at him. 'It's gonna be a long one.' George slid his arms into the sleeves. 'Are they ever quick and dirty?' Alex grinned crookedly. 'Not really.' ***** Jonathan stood at the trailhead, gazing at the forested path. George adjudged the backpack on his shoulders and tugged the toque on Jonathan's head down a little more. 'Ready?' 'I've been working for this since I was discharged last September, so yeah.' Jonathan checked the height of his hiking poles. 'Anytime you wanna stop,' George murmured, 'we can head back down. Just say the word.' 'I'm gonna get to the top of this trail if it takes all damn day,' Jonathan declared. 'Okay.' George started up the trail. 'We'll take it slow.' ***** 'Dr. Kim, it's from your son.' The nurse held up Nico's phone. 'Jonathan.' Nico glanced up from the shattered femur he'd been delicately piecing back together. 'What is it?' The nurse grinned. 'I think you'll want to see this.' She brought Nico's phone closer and held it up. Nico studied the photo on his phone's screen. 'Thanks, Cheryl.' Cheryl replaced the phone on the tray with the others. 'Looks like he's doing well,' she said. 'Yeah.' ***** Levi leaned against the nurses' station, making post-op notes in a patient's chart when his phone chimed softly. He pulled it from the pocket of his scrub pants, a smile spreading over his face at the picture Jonathan had texted. He finished the notes and headed for the OR board. Nico was in OR three, and due to finish soon. Levi put his scrub cap on and went into the scrub room to wait for Nico. Nico walked into the scrub room and Levi held up his phone. 'See this?' Nico washed his hands and peered at Levi's phone. 'Yeah. He looks good.' Jonathan stood cheek to cheek with George, Mt. Rainier and Puget Sound behind them, a triumphant smile on his face.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
'Hi, Mom.' Nico tapped the speaker icon on his phone's screen and set it on the bed next to his partially packed bag. 'What time does your flight land?' Livia asked. 'Why?' 'So we can pick you up, of course.' Nico glared at the ceiling, thankful she hadn't used video chat. 'Mom, we're gonna rent a car…' 'Nicola, please. We'll pick you up.' 'We…?' 'Your dad and me.' Nico massaged his temples. 'Fine…' His mother could be as immovable as a mountain sometimes. 'Supposed to leave Seattle around two forty-five, so we should land about five-ish?' 'Which terminal?' 'Erm…' Nico looked at Levi on the other side of the bed, brows raised in inquiry. Levi held up three fingers. 'Three,' Nico told his mother. 'Okay. See you in a few hours!' Livia chirped. 'Bye, sweetie!' 'Bye, Mom…' Nico sighed. He looked at Levi, who was folding a pair of pajama bottoms. 'So my parents will pick us up.' 'Have they ever met any of your boyfriends before?' Levi asked, tucking the pajamas into his bag. 'Just a couple. They came out to Baltimore a few times when I was at Hopkins, and I'd bring my boyfriend to a dinner or coffee. But I’ve never brought anyone home before,' Nico said tightly. 'Not even when I was at UCLA.' Levi drew in a deep breath. 'Okay.' He zipped his bag closed. 'I'll try not to embarass you.' He picked up his glasses and tucked them into a case that he stuffed into his backpack. Nico dropped his socks into his bag and closed it. 'You'll be fine. Me? Going home to visit my parents can turn me into a sullen thirteen year-old again. I love my parents, and my mom is great, and she really likes you, but sometimes she acts like I'm fifteen and not thirty-two.' He pulled his bag off the bed. 'Ready?' 'Yeah.' Levi hoisted his backpack to his shoulder and picked up his bag. ***** 'Levi, you're in here…' Livia led Levi to a bedroom and flipped the switch for the overhead light. 'The top two drawers of the chest are empty.' 'Seriously, Mom?' Nico asked, barely remembering to not clench his teeth. Livia rolled her eyes. 'Have you gotten married and didn't tell anyone?' 'No.' 'You're not married, you sleep in separate beds here.' Livia held up a hand. 'And yes, I know you live together in Seattle.' She moved aside for Levi to enter the room. 'I'll just leave you to get settled. David's making some coffee. We've got tea, if you prefer it.' 'Coffee's fine,' Levi said brightly. 'Lovely. See you on the back patio in half an hour.' Livia sailed down the hall and down the stairs. 'Unbelievable!' Nico hissed. 'Nico, it's fine,' Levi said soothingly. 'It's not fine,' Nico snarled. 'It's archaic!' 'It's just a couple of nights.' Levi set his backpack in a chair by the window. 'Just like Seattle when one of us is on-call at the hospital at night or monitoring a patient.' Nico drooped a little and threw himself over the bed, which creaked ominously. He shifted a few times, and the bed frame squeaked. 'That could wake the dead.' He began to bounce rhythmically. 'Effective at enforcing celibacy,' Levi commented, biting his lip trying not to break into nervous giggles. 'Beds are overrated,' Nico shot back. 'I'm not having sex with you on the floor,' Levi stated firmly. 'Not after I got carpet burn on my ass that one time.' He unzipped his bag and tucked his clothing into one of the empty drawers, then set his toiletry kit on top of the chest. Nico rolled from one side to the other. 'This is nuts. There's no way you can sleep in this.' He gazed up at Levi, a sly grin on his face. 'You can sneak into my bed. It's not noisy.' Levi snorted. 'I'm not going to get on your mom's bad side. And my mom would smack me into next Tuesday if she knew I pissed off your mom.' Levi held out a hand to Nico. 'Come on. Let's go down before your mom starts thinking you're debauching me with all that noise you're making.' Nico allowed Levi to haul him to his feet. 'Why wouldn't it be the other way around?' Levi batted his lashes at Nico. 'Because I'm not the one who bitched about sleeping in separate beds.' He wound his arms around Nico's waist. 'I'm not thrilled by this either, but…' Levi shrugged expansively. 'Not everyone can be your mom,' Nico muttered. ***** Levi gave up trying to sleep. The combination of the unfamiliar bed, coupled with the empty left side made sleep an elusive companion. He carefully sat up, lest the bed frame creak, and slid from the bed. He tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen. Nico sat perched on one of the tall kitchen stools, in a pool of dim light, spooning ice cream from a carton into his mouth. Levi paused so he could store the memory of Nico in a ratty Pepperdine t-shirt and plaid flannel pajama pants, with socks on his feet, hair falling into his eyes. Levi certainly appreciated Nico out of his clothes, and Nico-the-ortho-god-artist, but he loved this Nico. The Nico who liked Audrey Hepburn movies and danced with him to Sam Cooke songs. Nico glanced up. 'Hey,' he said softly. Levi smiled. 'Hey.' He gestured to the ice cream carton. 'This is so out of character for you.' 'Butter pecan. It's from this ice cream place that has one location in Bel Air. My Christmas indulgence. Everything else is crap.' The stool had a rectangular seat, so Nico swung one leg over, straddling the seat, making room for Levi, who slid onto the stool, nestled between Nico's thighs. Nico nuzzled the back of Levi's head. 'What are you doing up?' Nico asked, winding an arm around Levi's waist. 'Can't sleep,' Levi confessed. He let his head rest against Nico's shoulder, and Nico turned Levi's head a little and kissed him. Levi's arm drifted up and his hand twined in Nico's hair. 'Don't really sleep well without you anymore.' He hummed as Nico's lips drifted down the side of his neck. 'What about you?' he murmured. Nico slid off the back of the stool, and lifted Levi the few inches so he sat on the edge of the counter. He cupped Levi's head in his hands and kissed him slowly. He loved this Levi. The tousle-haired Levi, who was warm and soft in his arms. He didn't mind the contacts. Levi clearly liked how the contacts made his outside look as good as his inside. But Nico loved Levi with his glasses perched on his nose. He loved the thatch of chest hair that peeped between the edges of the placket of the henley shirt Levi wore. He loved the confident Levi in the hospital, but the Levi who snuggled under a blanket with a book on the couch while Nico watched hockey was the Levi he wanted to wake up with every morning. 'Couldn't sleep,' he murmured against Levi's mouth. Nico gasped softly when Levi wrapped his legs around his hips. 'Can't sleep without you.' His palm rasped over the stubble of Levi's jaw. 'Come back to bed with me…' Levi whimpered in his throat. 'I so do not want to piss off your mom,' he breathed. 'There is a perfectly good bed upstairs for you two.' Emma yawned, shuffling into the kitchen. She grabbed a spoon from the drawer, and retrieved Nico's abandoned ice cream. 'Your timing sucks, Emma,' Nico sighed, stepping back and letting Levi slide off the counter. He resumed his perch on the stool, pulling Levi to sit with him once more. 'My timing is awesome.' She scooped out a spoonful of ice cream and managed to slide back onto the other stool.. 'Why are you up?' Nico asked. 'Your niece or nephew likes to use my bladder as a trampoline when I try to sleep,' Emma grumbled, rubbing a hand over her distended stomach. 'Eight more weeks, but who's counting? Stop kicking me,' she sighed, poking the side of her abdomen. 'I'm giving you ice cream.' She ate another spoonful of ice cream and studied the pair next to her. 'So Levi, how hard did you make Nico work?' 'For…?' Emma snickered. 'You.' Levi took Nico's spoon and dipped it into the carton of ice cream. 'Oh. I… uh…' 'Oh, come on,' Emma wheedled. 'Good looking as my scuzzy brother may be, I'm pretty sure willing men don't just fall into his lap.' 'Emma, do everyone a favor and shut up,' Nico said, taking the spoon from Levi's lax fingers and dug out a bite of ice cream. 'So you're telling me you have no game.' 'I've got more game than Nate.' Emma shrugged. 'Everyone has more game than Nate.' She turned to Levi. 'Come on. Mama needs details. How did my brother convince you to go out with him? Did he use all his best moves?' Levi bit his lip. 'I suppose. I mean, nobody ever really flirted with me before.' Levi looked sheepish. 'I couldn't understand why someone as gorgeous as Nico would be interested in me.' He felt Nico shaking behind him. 'I-I h-h-had to k-k-kiss him,' Nico said between laughs. 'Ahhh. I had used some of my best moves on this guy, and nothing.' He wiped the corners of his eyes. 'Desperate times.’ 'I hope it was somewhere nice,' Emma commented. 'Romantic, even.' 'It was an elevator,' Levi chuckled. 'In the hospital.' 'And the back of an ambulance in a windstorm,' Nico added, still slightly breathless from laughter. 'You two are weirdos and deserve each other,' Emma declared. She put her spoon in the dishwasher. 'Better get some sleep. Mom's family tomorrow and if we’re back here by two in the morning, it will be a minor miracle.' She turned back to the Nico and Levi. 'Just make sure the guest room bed is messed up like someone slept in it. Mom doesn't go up to make the beds until after breakfast, because God knows, nobody can make a bed to her satisfaction,' Emma said, rolling her eyes. 'Good plan,' Nico said. Emma grinned over her shoulder. 'It's what Nate and I did. Worked like a charm.' Nico replaced the lid on the carton and slid off the stool. He put the carton in the freezer, then held a hand out to Levi. 'Let's go to bed.' Levi grimaced. 'I want to…' 'Just to sleep,' Nico promised. 'And maybe make out a little, because you are unbelievably adorable right now.' 'Only if you set an alarm…' Nico twined his fingers through Levi's. 'So you can sneak back to the guest room?' 'Yes.' 'Okay.' Nico padded up the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom, and let Levi precede him. He closed the door, then stripped off his socks and pajama pants, and slid into the bed. With a look of apprehension, Levi did the same, dropping his glasses on the bedside table. 'What would we do, if we had kids?' Nico stretched and draped an arm over Levi's waist. 'Hire a nanny. Or more than one nanny. Surgeons' schedules suck.' 'Nice alliteration,' Levi commented. 'I mean, what would we do if we came home and found our teenaged kid in bed with their boyfriend or girlfriend?' 'I dunno,' Nico replied. 'Never really thought about it before.' He yawned and settled into the bed. 'Make sure it was consensual, they used a condom, and tell them to lock the door next time?' He brushed his nose through Levi's hair. 'Seriously?' Nico closed his eyes. 'I do know that if my adult child brought their partner home for a visit, I wouldn't try to force them to sleep in separate beds.' 'Oy. Enough kvetching.' Levi reached back and blindly patted Nico. 'And teenagers? Punishing them doesn't seem very constructive.' He burrowed into the pillow. 'Wait until the dust settles and talk? Or they could be like me and it's a moot point…' he murmured. Nico rearranged his pillows. 'Okay, let's back up a bit.' 'Okay.' 'Do you want kids?' 'Yes. Eventually.' 'How many?' Nico shot back. Levi shrugged. 'I dunno. Two, maybe? No. Definitely two. Being an only child sucked.' 'Why two? Why not three…?' Nico wondered. Levi snorted. 'Because you're outnumbered if there's more than two.' 'Fair enough,' Nico allowed. 'Do you want to get married?' Levi sat up. 'Are you asking?' Nico flushed. 'I, uh… I…' he stammered. Levi smirked and pushed Nico's shoulder. 'Oh, relax. I wouldn't say yes right now anyway. Clearly, you're not.' He settled back down in the bed. 'I never really thought about it before, to be honest. I figured nobody would ever want me or want to spend the rest of their life with me, so I never pictured myself in the whole married with two point five kids and a dog in a house in the 'burbs kind of scenario. Because I was me.' He rolled over, draping himself over Nico. 'What about you?' Nico combed his fingers through Levi's hair. 'I've thought about it. I want to. Especially since it became legal for same sex couples to marry.' A fleeting smile drifted over his face. 'I cried when the Supreme Court said that when I found someone I wanted to spend my life with, I could marry him. I just never found anyone where I could see a future.' 'And now?' Levi could scarcely breathe. 'I can see the two point five kids, the house in the 'burbs.' Nico reached up to cup Levi's face between his hands. 'And I can only hope they have this smile,' he added, brushing a thumb over Levi's lower lip.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
'Pepperoni or vegetarian?' Henry asked Levi in a low voice, glancing at the older members of the Kim family.
'Pepperoni…?' Levi replied in bemusement.
'Okay.' Henry darted over to Annabel. 'One more pepperoni.'
'Is he taking a poll?' Levi asked Nico.
'You'll see,' Nico replied cryptically.
*****
Dinner over, and the dishes cleared from the table, the older Kims stayed gathered round the table with cups of coffee or tea.The Kim cousins decamped to the family room, with furtive glances over their shoulders. 'Park in ten minutes,' Annabel murmured. 'Emma and Nate already left, so she could get a head start.'
'Why does Emma get a head start?' Henry protested.
'She's eight months pregnant, you idiot,' Annabel hissed.
Levi leaned closer to Nico. 'Okay, what's going on?'
Nico ran a hand over the back of Levi's head. 'Are you hungry?' The guilty expression that flashed over Levi's face was answer enough.
'No offense if you are.' Timothy leaned over the back of the couch. 'I'm impressed you even tried the Japchae. So like, restaurant Japchae pretty much sucks, but honestly, Aunt June makes the crappy Korean restaurant by UCLA Japchae taste good. We've been ordering pizza and having it delivered to the park after lunar new year dinner since, when…?'
'I was thirteen,' Nico said. 'Eddie'd just gotten a phone, so he called in the order from the bathroom.'
'It's not that we don't like Korean food,' Eddie interjected. 'It's just…'
'Aunt June's food sucks,' Timothy whispered.
'Let's go,' Annabel hissed. 'They were early last year.'
They quietly filed out of the side door of the house, Nico bringing up the rear. He closed the door, making sure it didn't bang shut, then grabbed Levi's hand and sprinted after the rest of the group.
The delivery kid had just pulled into the parking lot when Nico and Levi joined the cousins. Emma handed him the money for the order, plus a generous tip. 'See ya next year,' the kid grunted, heaving a bag full of bottled water into Nate's arms.
'How much school you got left?' Timothy asked.
'After this year? One more,' the delivery kid said, getting into his car. 'Thanks for the tip,' he said.
'You're welcome!' Annabel called through a mouthful of pizza.
They heard running footsteps on the sidewalk. 'I've got two minutes,' Livia gasped. 'They think I've gone to the bathroom.' Emma handed her mother a slice of pizza. 'Thirty years… You'd think she'd get a clue,' Livia huffed, cramming half the slice into her mouth. 'You'd think she'd wonder why there's so many leftovers,' she mumbled, her mouth full. 'June is a terrible cook.' She glanced at Henry and Annabel. 'Sorry…'
'She's not so bad,' Annabel said, passing out bottles of water. 'She just refuses to use a recipe for the Korean stuff.
Mother never used a recipe, so I don't need one!'
Annabel mimicked.
Livia took another large bite of her pizza. 'That's crap,' she huffed. 'Your grandmother wrote down all the family favorites for me when I married into this family.'
'But Mom won't let anyone else do lunar new year dinner,' Henry sighed.
'Do I have sauce on my face?' Livia asked Nico.
'Nope.'
'Okay. Don't be gone too long.' Livia hurried away.
'No worries about that,' Emma huffed. 'I'm going to have to pee again in ten minutes.'
Timothy snagged a second slice of pizza and bit into it. 'Not the best pizza, but hey… It's like sex. When it's good, it's amazing. When it's bad, it's still okay.'
Levi snorted. 'Clearly you've never had truly awful sex. That's just bad. Nobody gets anything good out of that.'
'Nico's bad in bed, huh?' Henry said, taking a swig of water.
'I am not bad in bed,' Nico protested. 'Nobody's ever complained.'
'I'm not complaining,' Levi volunteered.
'Hang on,' Timothy said, waving a hand in the air. 'I'm checking Amazon.'
'What for?' Eddie asked, helping himself to another slice of pizza.
Nate craned his head to see the screen of Timothy’s phone. ‘That's kind of insulting,’ he said.
'Oh, here!' Timothy exclaimed. He tapped the screen of his phone. 'Nico, what's your address?'
'1620, West 5th Avenue,' Emma supplied, spacing out the words so Timothy could type it into his phone. 'Apt. 2B, Seattle, 98119.'
'Free shipping!' crowed Timothy. 'Check your mail in a few days.'
Nico dropped his water bottle. 'What the hell did you send me?' he bellowed, launching himself at Timothy's phone. Timothy shoved it into his jacket pocket and scampered toward the swing sets.
'Levi'll thank me!' Timothy shouted over his shoulder, laughing.
'You asshole!' Nico yelled.
'Tim ordered a sex manual,' Nate offered.
'He really doesn't need it,' Levi murmured.
'Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew! TMI!' Emma exclaimed, clapping her hands over her ears.
'Sorry,' Levi muttered, not looking sorry at all. He nodded toward Nico, who had Timothy in a headlock. 'Does this happen often?'
'The pizza or the boys regressing to middle school dumbass?' Annabel asked.
'Both?'
'Sneaking out for pizza… Lunar new year,' Nate said. 'Because Aunt June cooks the entire meal. It's the only time she insists on cooking it all by herself. Other holidays, you can generally avoid anything she cooks.'
'The boys? Every damn time they're together,' Emma said, with an eye roll.
'Except Christmas,' Eddie interjected. 'We try to behave.' He indicated the last slice of pizza. 'Anyone gonna eat that?'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Levi leaned so far forward, his nose nearly touched the glass, hands miming the surgery below the gallery. 'This is so cool,' he breathed, the glass fogging under his mouth. Nico took a bite of his apple. 'It's just rotator cuff surgery,' he said. 'But nobody's doing it like this,' Taryn murmured, just as fascinated as Levi. Nico grinned and sat back, more of his attention on Levi's rapt expression than Link's surgery. He'd already spent hours in the skills lab, practicing on cadavers, learning how to do it Link's way, and had even performed the surgery under Link’s supervision. He was only in the gallery to spend a few minutes with Levi before a scheduled knee arthroscopy. 'You think that kid'll pitch like he used to?' Miranda asked from the doorway. 'Good chance he will,' Nico said, glancing over his shoulder. Levi jumped up. 'You can have my seat, Chief,' he exclaimed, stumbling over Nico's feet to get out of the way. 'Thank you, Dr. Schmitt,' Miranda said, edging her way into Levi's abandoned chair. Nico set his half-eaten apple aside and unthinkingly pulled Levi into his lap. He rested his chin on Levi's shoulder, eyes following the movements of his hands. 'No… it's more like this…' Nico’s hands slid down Levi's arms down and rested them over his hands. 'Just change the angle… Should go in at forty to forty-five degrees, no more… Just like that… Yeah…' His head turned slightly and Nico pressed his mouth to the side of Levi's neck. 'Dr. Kim, let go of the intern,' Miranda chided softly, her gaze fixed on the surgery. Nico felt the blush creep up the back of his neck, while Levi slid off his lap. 'Dr. Schmitt, go see if Dr. Altman needs any help in the pit. If not, go to the clinic.' 'Yes, ma'am…' With an apologetic look at Nico, Levi beat a hasty retreat. Nico grabbed his apple off the windowsill. 'I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey. That will never happen again.' He took a large bite of the apple. ‘Don’t you have a procedure in half an hour?’ Miranda asked. ‘Yes, ma’am.’ Miranda's chin lifted. 'Come to my office when your arthroscopy’s done.' She got to her feet headed for the gallery exit. 'Yes, ma'am…' Nico slid down in the chair so his spine balanced on the edge of the seat. Alex smirked and leaned forward. 'Dude, that's not the worst she's seen. She caught Mere doing it in a car with an attending our intern year. Your thing was, like, holding hands in junior high in comparison.' Alex punched him lightly in the shoulder. 'I get it. You want to keep it quiet, so people don't give you crap about dating a resident. And so people don't give him crap about the surgeries he scrubs in on. Especially if they're with you.' 'We have rules… No PDA inside the hospital. Keep it professional.' Nico dragged a hand down his face. 'I don't wanna get him fired. I don't wanna get fired. I like it here.' 'So get the damn form from HR and sign it,' Alex advised. 'It just makes life easier for everyone involved.' He stuffed a potato chip into his mouth. ‘Why haven’t you done that yet?’ ‘There’s no guarantee I’ll stay in Seattle after my fellowship’s done,’ Nico replied. ‘And long-distance romances almost never end well.’ He pushed himself to his feet and left the gallery. ***** Nico walked to Miranda's office, the sense of dread growing with every step. 'I'm never gonna see the inside of an OR here again… I'm gonna get fired… I'm gonna get Levi fired.... My parents are going to kill me… I'll end up working in some dinky hospital in North Dakota…' he muttered to himself. Before he knocked on the office door, he straightened his lab coat and scrubs, then finger-combed his hair. 'Chief?' he said in a slightly strangled voice, rapping his knuckles on the open door. 'Come in, Dr. Kim.' Miranda didn't look up from her computer screen as she motioned for Nico to enter. 'Sit down.' Nico gingerly perched on the edge of a chair, anxiously tugging at the hem of his scrub top, running his damp palms over the knees of his pants. Miranda glanced up with a wry expression. 'Relax… I'm not gonna fire you.' Nico's shoulders lowered a fraction of an inch. 'Channing's retiring at the end of May.' Nico blinked. He'd met Dr. Lionel Channing a few times. He didn't do much in the way of surgery these days. He mostly set the odd broken clavicle. 'Okay…?' 'I'll need a replacement. Especially someone who can pick up the slack when Dr. Lincoln's off presenting at conferences. And I hear you’ve been running ortho when Dr. Lincoln is away.’ 'Okay.' 'Do you want it?' Miranda asked bluntly. 'Channing's position?' 'Y-yes,' Nico stammered. 'Yes!' 'All right, then.' Miranda plucked a piece of paper from a tray on her desk. 'When your fellowship is over, it's all yours. Contract will be ready to sign next week. You're a good surgeon, Dr. Kim. You're also a good teacher, although I hope you don't teach all the residents the way you do Dr. Schmitt,' she added, giving Nico a stern look. 'No, ma'am…' 'How long?' 'What?' 'How long have you been in a relationship with Dr. Schmitt?' Nico closed his eyes briefly. 'The windstorm.' 'Huh.' Miranda sat back in her chair. 'I've gotta give you credit for managing to be discreet.' 'Uh. Thank you…? 'I didn't want people to accuse me of showing favoritism to Levi… Dr. Schmitt.' His hands laced together tightly. 'Especially the other interns.' 'Good thinking.' She shoved the paper at Nico. 'Fill this out. Sign it. The both of you. It'll save you some headaches.' Nico reached for the paper. 'What is it?' 'It's a form HR makes unmarried couples sign. If you both sign it, it just means you keep doing what you're doing, keep it professional at work, but nobody's going to suspend you for sneaking some alone time in that funky little room in radiology on four.' Nico folded the form slowly and tucked it into his pocket. 'Now. Go on and save lives.' Nico got to his feet in a daze. He went down to the ER and found Levi starting an IV. 'Can we talk?' Levi gathered a bag filled with blood collection tubes. 'I have to take these down to the lab.' Nico's hand shot out and closed around Levi's elbow. 'We really need to talk.’ 'I don't have time to talk right now,' Levi responded, shaking off Nico. 'Bailey is going to fire me. Or at the very least, I'm going to be on scut until I take my boards fifth year, and never see the inside of an OR again.' 'She won’t. But we need to…’. Nico fumbled for the paper in his lab coat pocket. 'I have to go before Hunt kicks my ass into next week,’ Levi said, glancing over his shoulder. Owen was glaring at him, on the verge of delivering a brusque lecture about getting blood to the lab in a timely manner. He took off, heading for the lab. ‘Dr. Kim! Rig five minutes out. Multiple open fractures,’ a nurse called from the desk. Nico grabbed a trauma gown and a pair of gloves. ‘On it.’ ***** It had been a long surgery and Nico needed a beer. Preferably more than one beer. He trudged into Joe's. Levi sat with Casey, Taryn, and Dahlia, an empty pitcher of beer on their table. Levi lifted his fingers from the table in a small wave. Nico gestured with his chin in acknowledgement, then veered toward the bar and slid onto an empty stool. 'Hey, Joe. Can I get a beer? Interurban?' Joe opened a bottle and set it in front of Nico. 'Looks like it's been a long day.' He added a plastic basket of peanuts. Nico picked up the bottle and took a long drink. 'Very.' He broke open a shell and tossed the peanuts into his mouth. 'Could you send a round to Levi's table? On me.' Joe draped the towel over his shoulder and picked up a clean pitcher, and poured the beer the interns had been drinking into it, then added a glass with a cranberry and soda with lime for Dahlia. 'Hey Anthony.' Joe beckoned to the other bartender. 'Table by the dartboard.' Nico shelled another peanut, watching Anthony deposit the drinks on the table. Levi glanced back at the bar, and Nico raised his hand a little. Levi poured himself a beer and sketched a toast in Nico's direction. Nico drained his beer and slammed the bottle on the bar, feeling a little bit reckless. 'Joe, you got a pen?' he asked, pulling a folded square of paper from his back pocket. 'It's my good one. I want it back,' Joe replied, handing over the pen from his shirt pocket. Nico nodded and slid off the barstool and strode across the bar to the interns' table. Nico swept the peanut shells to the floor, slapped the paper to the table, tilted it to the awkward angle he used when writing, and scrawled his signature in the space with his name typed beneath it. He held the pen out to Levi. 'I don't wanna spend the next four years hiding or pretending I'm teaching you something so we can have lunch together.' Taryn rolled her eyes. 'You think there are people in this hospital who didn't know you're in a relationship?' she drawled under her breath. Levi's eyes flicked between the pen and the form. He plucked the pen from Nico's fingers, then added his signature. 'So we're officially public, I guess.' Nico took the pen back. The music switched to something slow and sultry. 'Come dance with me.' He held out a hand. 'Here…?' 'Yeah. Why not?' Levi took Nico's proffered hand and let him drag him across the bar to the small area near the jukebox. Nico paused long enough to toss Joe’s pen on the bar. ‘Thanks, Joe.’ Nico pulled Levi close, arm sliding around His waist, their entwined hands resting on Nico's chest. A few more couples joined them, making Levi laugh softly. 'So this is what prom must be like,' he commented. 'I didn't go to mine.' 'Me, either,' Nico confessed. 'Really? You?' Nico pulled Levi a little closer. 'My high school was a lot of things, but ready for two guys to go to prom as a couple? No. Besides, I wasn't out. And the guy I wanted to dance with didn't know I existed.' Levi's head tilted back to look at Nico. 'I find that hard to believe.' Nico grinned. 'It's true.' He exhaled and tightened his arm around Levi's waist. 'So… now that we're public, why don't you move in with me? You already have a key. Half your clothes are already there. You sleep there most nights. I’ll make room for your stuff. You can teach me how to make your French toast.’ ‘Just to move back into Mom’s basement when your fellowship is up?’ Levi shot back. ‘No. Until you have to leave for your fellowship.’ ‘Oh. So you got a job at Seattle Pres?’ Nico laughed. ‘No. Bailey offered me a spot at Grey+Sloan. Guy in ortho’s retiring. It’s mine.’ ‘You’re staying?’ Levi asked incredulously. ‘I’m staying.’ Levi bounced lightly on the balls of his feet. ‘When can I move in?’ ‘When’s your next day off?’ Levi’s brows knit in a slight frown. ‘Next Tuesday.’ ‘Okay. I’ll try to get they day off to help you.’ Nico leaned down, his hand cupping Levi’s jaw, thumb brushing delicately over his cheek. He angled his head and kissed Levi. He’d meant it to be small, gentle kiss, but it quickly turned into something demanding, Levi’s fingers digging into his shoulders as he rose on his toes. Nico drew back, slightly breathless, already hard. ‘Let’s get outta here.’ An impish grin flashed over Levi’s face. His hips shifted slightly, eliciting a muffled groan from Nico. ‘I’ll go get my jacket,’ Levi murmured. He returned to the table. Casey held his jacket aloft, hooked on two fingers. Taryn had refolded the paper. Levi took both, then picked up his unfinished beer and gulped it down. 'Night,' Casey said, pouring himself another beer. Levi walked toward Nico, and hesitated a moment before sliding his hand into the crook of Nico's elbow. Miranda opened the door and stood on the threshold, blocking the exit. 'Sign the paper?' 'Yes, ma'am.' Nico snatched it from Levi's hand and held it out to Miranda, who took it, unfolded it, and studied the signatures. 'All right, then,' she pronounced, and headed for a table occupied by Meredith, Maggie, and Amelia. 'Let's go home,' Nico said.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Alex tugged his lab coat over the fleece pullover and jeans he'd thrown on when he'd received Levi's page. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the nurses' station. 'Tell me what you know, Blood Bank.'
Levi's fingers wrapped around the edge of the tablet. 'He's pale. Had surgery to repair a pectus excavatum two days ago. Due to be discharged tomorrow. Been on IV anti inflammatories. Abdominal pain. He rates it as an 8. It's not gas. I mean, you hear hoofbeats, you look for horses, right? The most common post-op pain with this type of surgery is gas. So I gave him an anti flatulent an hour ago. The pain is still there. Clearly, it's not gas. And I don't
hear
gas in his belly. …'
'Okay. So we know what it's not -- gas or constipation.'
'I ordered new labs, and I was about to take him to get a CT.'
Alex nodded. 'Why a CT?'
Levi clutched the tablet to his chest. 'Now we're looking for zebras. He might have an ulcer.' He audibly gulped, hoping Alex wouldn't berate him.
'And what would cause the ulcer to develop in an otherwise healthy eleven year old?'
'We've been pushing some pretty high doses of anti-inflammatories,' Levi said. 'They can cause ulcers…’
Alex bobbed his head once. 'Good call.' He gestured toward the patient's room. 'Let's go tell his mom.'
*****
'There it is,' Levi murmured. 'A perfed ulcer. He'll need surgery…'
Alex got up from his chair and stretched. 'I'll go book an OR and prep Dhanvir.'
Levi looked askance at Alex. 'Isn't that my job?'
'Not tonight. You are going to go tell Mrs. Grewel that we're taking her son into surgery to repair the ulcer. Then you're going to repair the ulcer.'
Levi's mouth dropped open. 'Y-you're going to let me fly solo?' He beamed with joy.
Alex scowled slightly. 'Cool your jets, Blood Bank. I'll be there to assist. But you're going to take the lead on it.'
‘Right.’ The delight on Levi’s face dimmed a little, but didn’t dissipate. 'Of course.' He strode purposefully from the room, heading back to Dhanvir's room, where his anxious mother waited. Levi veered into the playroom, and grabbed one of the small whiteboards from a bin and a marker, then went into Dhanvir's room. 'Hi, Mrs. Grewel,' he said.
'Is Dhanvir going to be okay?'
Levi dragged the other chair in the room next to Mrs. Grewel's. 'He has a perforated ulcer,' he began. 'All the anti-inflammitories we've been giving him since the surgery have irritated the lining of his stomach and now there's a small hole,' he said gently. 'It's a pretty easy fix. We can do it laproscopically.' Levi uncapped the marker and quickly drew a rough outline of a human torso, then added a cartoonish version of an esophogus and stomach. ' The ulcer's about here,' he said, making a small dot on the stomach. 'We'll make a few small incisions. About the size of a buttonhole.' Levi sketched a few small lines around the drawing's belly. 'Insert a camera with a light into one, then very tiny surgical instruments in the others. Dr. Karev and I will repair the ulcer. It usually takes about an hour or so.'
'And he'll be all right?' Mrs. Grewel's hands knotted together fretfully.
'We'll keep him for another day or two, just to make sure everything's healing properly,' Levi said. 'But he should be okay.' Levi grabbed a tissue and wiped the board. 'Dr. Karev's taking him to the OR now. We'll let you know how it went.'
'Thank you, Dr. Schmitt.'
Levi left the room, barely managing to refrain from dancing to the OR. He saw Nico making notes in a patient's chart, still in his blue-and-brown patterned scrub cap. Levi skidded to a halt next to Nico, bouncing on his toes. 'Hey.'
'Hey.' Nico glanced at Levi. The euphoric grin on his face was infectious. 'What did you do? Find a rare a tumor and get to help resect it?'
Levi's smile grew wider. 'I'm flying solo,' he gloated.
'Are you serious?'
'Laparoscopic ulcer repair on an eleven year old.' Levi turned to look at the board. 'See?' He pointed to the board, where his surgery had been scheduled in OR Two. 'I even diagnosed it.'
'Cool.' Nico slid an arm around Levi's shoulders. 'Want me to wait for you?'
Levi's cheeks grew pinker. 'On-call in peds?'
'Sure. And you can tell me all about your awesome surgery.'
'Okay.' Levi scanned the area, then rose on this toes and swiftly gave Nico a kiss on the cheek, before going to scrub.
Nico finished his notes, and handed the tablet to the nurse. 'I'm gonna stick around for a bit,' he told her. 'Page me if anything changes.'
Elena took the tablet with a smirk. 'You're going to sneak into the gallery and watch Papi do his first solo surgery,' she responded.
'Maybe.'
Elena snorted. 'If you hurry, you can make it to the gallery before they get started. Lights are usually off this time of night anyway, unless someone like Dr. Grey is doing some batshit crazy brilliant surgery.' She placed the tablet in a rack. 'He won't see you, if you sit in one of the corners.'
Nico's lips twitched. 'Thanks.'
'Oh, and Dr. Kim?'
'Yeah?'
'When he comes to the on-call room to tell you all about his surgery, act surprised.'
Nico palmed off his scrub cap. 'Goes without saying,' he said, and went to sit in the gallery.
*****
Levi took a deep breath and made the first incision. 'I should have diagnosed this sooner…' he said.
Alex shrugged. 'First one you've done completely on your own.’ He carefully inserted the laparoscopic camera, maneuvering until he found the ulcer. ‘Now you know what it looks like. And next time you'll figure it out faster. Won't be the same for everybody, though.' He glanced at Levi. 'You made pretty good time with this one, though.'
Levi made another incision for the instruments. 'I didn't think you'd actually come in when I paged you.'
'Hah.' Alex peered at the screen with the camera feed. 'Mere and I had a case like this when we were fourth years. Night shift, just like this. The peds attending on the case was a total ass. He didn't teach. He berated. For everything. For taking an unorthodox approach. For not kissing his ass. I mean, I know I give you guys crap, but I do it because I want you to be a better doctor. He did it because he had a pole shoved up his ass. Anyway, Mere paged him, and when he came in, he gave Mere an earful for paging him, instead of working with her to try to figure out what was wrong with the kid. It didn't help that his mom was a nurse from Seattle Pres, and she was breathing down our necks the whole time. We eventually had to do the repair without an attending, because the peds guy refused to answer his pages. That was even with a nurse paging him every five minutes during the surgery. You have less training than Mere and I did during out case. You did the right thing. And you had a plan figured out when I got here.
'I can be petty -- we all can -- but I never wanted to be petty at the expense of patient care. That kid could have died because the peds attending wasn't doing his job.'
'What happened to him?' Levi asked.
'Don't know, don't care,' Alex replied. 'Inflicting his brand of assholery somewhere else.'
*****
Levi couldn't stop smiling. No matter what he did. The surgery had gone so well, it was textbook. He and Alex pushed through the swinging doors to the waiting room. Mrs. Grewel jumped up at the sight of them. 'It's all yours, Dr. Schmitt,' Alex said.
Levi beamed at Mrs. Grewel. 'It went so well,' he told her. 'We were able to repair the ucler. Dhanvir's in recovery. We can take you back to see him if you want.'
'I'd like that,' Mrs. Grewel said. She hugged Levi, then Alex. 'Thank you.'
'Come with me,' Alex said, holding an arm toward the swinging doors. 'Dr. Schmitt, go get some rest. You did good.'
Levi stared after Alex. He'd called him "Dr. Schmitt" twice. 'Thank you.' He headed for peds and the on-call room.
Nico sat cross-legged on one of the beds, seemingly absorbed in a journal article. 'How'd it go?'
Levi toed off his shoes, pulled the journal from Nico's hands, and tossed it aside. He climbed onto Nico's lap, hands sliding over his chest and shoulders. 'It was amazing!'
'It was?' Nico stroked Levi's back, running his fingertips from the base of his skull to the small of his back. He angled his mouth over Levi's. 'Tell me about it,' he murmured against Levi's mouth.
Levi launched into a description of the entire process -- from diagnosis to closing -- punctuated with kisses, fingers tapping lightly over Nico's chest, slipping into his hair. 'And
then
,' he added, eyes sparkling. 'Karev called me
Doctor
Schmitt! Not Blood Bank.'
Nico swept Levi's hair from his forehead. 'You know he's going to call you Blood Bank tomorrow.'
Levi chuckled and rested his forehead against' Nico's. 'Yeah. But for today, it was Dr. Schmitt.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Levi squirmed impatiently. Currently, Nico was crouched over him, face buried between his thighs. Levi's hands clutched at the blanket under his body. Nico was in a mood. Which meant his mouth and hands were everywhere, except where Levi wanted them. 'Nico…' he ground out through clenched teeth.
'Hmmm?' Nico hummed against the sensitive skin of Levi's inner thigh, drawing patterns with the tip of his tongue.
'Would you just suck me already?' Levi groaned.
Nico's body shifted. 'You mean like this?' He angled his head over Levi's cock and swirled his tongue around the head. Levi let out a gurgling moan in response. Nico chuckled quietly. 'I'll take that as a yes.' He returned to the crease where Levi's thigh met his hip. Levi began muttering under his breath. Nico paused. 'Are you listing the steps for a heart cath?'
Levi felt Nico's laugh ghost over his skin, rather than heard it. 'Yeah,' he panted. 'I'm gonna…'
'No, you won't,' Nico promised, switching his ministrations to the other side.
Levi thrashed feebly under Nico. He lifted his hand and slid it down his stomach, fingers brushing the underside of his dick.
Nico batted his hand away. 'Nuh-uh.' He propped himself up on his elbows. 'Like back. Enjoy it. Let me pleasure you…' His head dipped and nuzzled the trail of hair from Levi's navel to his groin.
'Do you hear knocking?' Levi gasped.
'No.'
'Someone's knocking on the door,' Levi insisted. As if to prove his point, several loud knocks boomed through the apartment.
Nico lifted his head. 'Probably someone going door-to-door, trying to convert us.' He mouthed each of Levi's balls in turn. 'Ignore it…'
'Nicola?' a woman's muffled voice called.
Nico froze. 'What day is it?'
'Wednesday?'
Nico shook his head. 'No, I mean the
date
."
'May twenty-second?'
The color drained from Nico's face. 'Oh, God… I
forgot
!'' He clambered off the bed and grabbed his shorts from the floor. He hadn't lost an erection so quickly since he was fifteen and his mother had walked in on him masturbating. He'd been under the covers, but still… One did not desire to hear their mother's voice when on the verge of an orgasm.
Nico hopped on one foot, then the other, yanking the shorts over his hips as he reached the door. He unlocked it and opened it as far as the chain allowed His parents stood on the other side. 'What took so long?' his mother asked.
'I thought your flight was later,' Nico mumbled, closing the door enough to undo the chain. He opened the door wider, and stood aside. 'I'll, uh… I've gotta…'
Livia walked into the apartment and glanced at the boxes stacked in the corner. 'You've lived here almost a year,' she commented. 'Haven't you unpacked yet?'
'They're not mine,' Nico explained. 'Uh… could you… I just need…' He spun and quickly padded to the bedroom, closing the door. 'We have to get dressed,' he hissed.
Levi frowned and sat up. 'Why?'
Nico threw him a look. 'My parents are here.'
'Oh,
shit
!' Levi breathed. He scrambled off the bed and darted to the dresser, rummaging in one of his drawers for underwear. Nico followed suit. 'Why do you need underwear? You're practically dressed,' Levi said.
'Dude. I'm not talking to my parents while I'm commando. I have to put on clothes to talk to them on the phone.'
Levi tossed his head. 'And I thought I was neurotic.'
Nico yanked a t-shirt over his head. 'Trust me. You do not have a monopoly on weirdness.'
Levi pulled a pair of sweatpants on and finger-combed his hair. 'How do I look?'
'Like you just woke up?'
'But not like we were just having sex?'
Nico rubbed his thumb over Levi's slightly puffy lips. 'No.' He took a deep breath. 'Okay, so my parents know about you, but they don't know that you've moved in.'
'Do you want to tell them right now?' Levi asked. 'I mean, all my boxes are out there. My name's on them.'
'Only if you want to.' Nico sank to the edge of the mattress. 'We do this together or not at all.'
Levi stepped between Nico's knees. 'Do you?' He held Nico's face between his hands. 'Do you want to tell them?'
Nico's hands rose and landed on Levi's hips, drawing him closer. 'I think I do,' he murmured, resting his forehead against Levi's chest.
'Okay.' Levi brushed a kiss over Nico's mouth. 'Better get out there. They're probably wondering if you climbed out the window.'
Nico laughed. 'I love you.' He stood up. 'Let's go…' He opened the bedroom door and led Levi into the living room, where his parents sat side-by-side on the couch. 'Um, Mom… Dad…' He slid an arm around Levi’s shoulders. 'This is Levi… Levi… these are my parents, David and Livia Kim…' His arm tightened around Levi. 'Levi moved in with me.' He paused. 'Yesterday.'
'Explains a lot,' David said dryly.
'David!' Livia smacked him on the arm, scandalized.
'You really want to have the whole premarital sex lecture?' David asked sardonically. 'He's thirty.'
'Thirty-two in October,' Nico corrected.
David looked up, a skeptical light in his eyes. 'Really? That much?'
'Dad, why would I lie about my age?' Nico huffed. ‘It’s not like I have to lie to drink beer… which I have
never
done,’ he added so hastily, it made Levi suspect he had actually lied about his age to drink beer.
‘No, it’s just the older you get, the older I get. Stop it.’
Livia pushed herself to her feet. 'Why don't I see what you’ve got in the fridge and make breakfast? Then we can talk like civilized people.'
‘Good luck,’ Levi snorted. ‘The only thing remotely approaching food in our fridge is beer.’ He paused. ‘And protein powder,’ he said with a shudder.
‘We haven’t had time to go grocery shopping,’ Nico said apologetically. 'We've both had to work extra shifts in order to take today off.'
'We've got coffee!' Levi said brightly.
'No milk,' Nico reminded him. 'We had to throw it out Saturday.'
'Oh, this is ridiculous. Nicola, where are your car keys?' Livia asked, clearly exasperated.
'In the bowl on the table by the door.'
'I'll go grab a few things if one of you can tell me the nearest grocery store,' Livia said, picking up her purse.
'Go south two blocks. Turn right. There's a small grocery store a few blocks down,' Levi told her. 'I'll go get the grocery bags,' he said, padding into the kitchen, and returning with a bundle of canvas. His phone pinged.
'Are you getting paged?' Nico muttered.
Levi pulled his phone from his pocket. 'No…' He swiped across the screen. 'It's my fantasy baseball team…'
'You have a fantasy baseball team?' Nico asked in bemusement.
'Uh-huh… Grandpa and I do it…' Levi replied distractedly. 'Damn… one of my starting pitchers is on the DL…'
'Oh, God…' Livia decided now would be a good time to make her exit before David and Levi went into raptures over ERAs and batting averages. 'I'll be back in thirty minutes,' she said, leaving Nico staring at Levi as if he'd never seen him before.
'How did I not know this?' Nico said.
Levi glanced at Nico over the rims of his glasses. 'Because we don't know everything about each other yet?'
Nico inhaled and exhaled slowly. 'Imma go take a shower,' he grunted, turning on his heel and stalking into the bathroom.
'Which team you follow?' David asked Levi.
'L.A.,' Levi replied, folding himself to the couch next to David. 'My grandfather moved in with us when I was eleven, and he and I watched a lot of baseball together. We'd go see the Dodgers when they played the Mariners and he'd let me eat all the popcorn and hot dogs I could hold. Grandpa was a fan of the Dodgers when they were still in Brooklyn. And I was a fan because he was. He moved to San Diego years ago, and fantasy baseball was how we stayed in touch.'
'I'm a Houston fan myself,' David said. 'Started following them during the Killer B days.' He glanced at the bathroom door and the sound of running water. 'You think Nico's head is gonna explode?'
'Probably. I don't think he realized how much I follow baseball.' Levi looked at David and shrugged expansively. 'He's never asked.'
'How much hockey have you watched?' David asked.
'Um. "Watched."' Levi made air quotes motions. 'A lot.' He grinned. 'But I get a lot of reading and studying done.'
David nodded. 'He PVRs the playoff games still?'
In the bathroom, Nico heard his father and Levi laugh. He yanked the shower curtain aside and stepped into the hot shower. 'I dunno if I can handle it if they're gonna be friends…' he muttered to his shampoo bottle.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
'Let's have another baby.'
Levi's eyes snapped open and he sat up so quickly, he nearly fell off the couch. 'What?'
'Let's have another baby,' Nico repeated. 'You said you wanted two.' Levi stared at Nico, open-mouthed, then began to search under the couch cushions and throw pillows. Nico grabbed one of the pillows and lightly smacked Levi in the arm with it. 'What are you doing?'
'Looking for your damn mind,' Levi snarked. 'We just got a routine figured out, and Jonathan's got at least one more major surgery in the next year or so.'
'It would be at least another year before we had one,' Nico pointed out reasonably. He reached for Levi's wineglass on the coffee table and held it out. 'Let's just talk about it?'
Levi took a long sip of his wine. 'Okay. Adoption or…?'
Nico swirled the wine in his glass. 'I've been thinking,' he began slowly. 'We can apply to adopt again, but that could take years, and I really don't want a huge age gap between Jonathan and a younger sibling.' He sipped his wine. 'We could use a surrogate.'
'Go on,' Levi sighed in a resigned voice. Knowing Nico, he already had an Excel file on his laptop with filled with every detail down to possible names.
'There's an agency. They'll match you with possible surrogates. You can get to know one another before you start trying to conceive.'
'Sounds like dating,' Levi remarked darkly.
'Shouldn't it be?' Nico wondered. 'She'd put her body through a lot just to give us a baby.'
Levi let his head fall against the arm of the couch. 'So, let's say… a couple of months to find a surrogate. Six months to get pregnant… The actual pregnancy… That's almost a year and a half.'
'Jon would have his last surgery by then. We could start looking for a bigger place.'
'Hopefully, Jon can be potty trained,' Levi mumbled, aggrievedly. He might work in peds, but he never knew a kid could wriggle out of a diaper as quickly and quietly as Jonathan. Accidents, as his mother put it, were not an uncommon occurrence in the Schmitt-Kim household.
'One can dream,' Nico replied.
'Which one of us?' Levi blurted.
'What?'
'Which one of us would be the biological father?'
Nico tugged at Levi's hand until he scooted across the couch and was draped over Nico's chest. 'I've always wanted it to be you.'
Levi frowned a little. 'You really want to inflict my gene pool on an innocent child?'
'Levi…'
'We could flip a coin,' Levi suggested. 'Heads, I jerk off into a cup. Tails, you…'
'Fine.' Nico swallowed the last of his wine, then reached for the bottle and upended it over his glass, a pensive frown on his face.
Levi tilted his head to the side. 'You're disappointed.'
Nico shrugged. 'I just always wanted to see your smile on our child's face. Need some time to let that go.'
'Coin toss could be heads,' Levi reminded him.
'Hmmm,' Nico grunted. 'We can fill out the surrogacy application after rounds tomorrow.' Levi visibly tensed.
‘What?’ Nico sighed.
‘Why do you want to do this all so fast?’ Levi said quietly. He really wanted to shout, but Nico would happily murder him if he woke Jonathan.
‘It’s not that fast,’ Nico replied, setting his wineglass down. ‘We should get started, at least.’
‘Jon’s adoption isn’t final yet,’ Levi argued. ‘Shouldn’t we at least wait for that to be done first?’
'I guess…?' Nico drained his glass and set it carefully on the coffee table. 'It's close to final.'
'I haven't finished my fellowship. What if I can't find a job in Seattle?'
'You really think Karev's not going to offer you something?' Nico slid off the couch and headed for the kitchen, returning with a second bottle of wine. 'He's been trying to find someone for weeks, and nobody's good enough.' At Levi's continued doubtful expression, Nico uncorked the wine and refilled both his and Levi's glasses. 'It doesn't hurt to at least meet a few people.'
Levi pushed his glass aside. 'Why are you trying to rush things?'
'I'm not rushing anything!'
'Yes, you are,' Levi argued. He buried his face in his hands. 'Jonathan…'
Nico's body stilled. 'What about Jonathan?' he said through stiff lips.
'Nothing,' Levi muttered. He pushed himself to his feet and strode to the door.
'You think I pressured you? Seriously? After almost a year?'
'I'm not saying that!' Levi protested, his voice quiet, but carrying all the intensity of a shout, hands fisting at his sides. He shoved his feet into this runners, then grabbed his wallet, phone, and keys.
The baby monitor emitted a muffled squawk. Levi and Nico froze, waiting to see if it turned into something more.
'Where are you going?' Nico asked, picking up the baby monitor.
Levi lifted his jacket from a hook by the door. 'I need a walk before you put any more words in my mouth.'
'Levi…' Nico began.
'Not now.' Levi opened the door and slipped into the hallway, leaving Nico standing in the middle of the living room.
*****
Levi let himself into the apartment, hair plastered to his head from the steady rain he'd walked through for the past hour. Nico uncoiled himself warily from one end of the couch. Levi hung up his wet jacket, then dropped his keys in the bowl on the table along with his wallet. He raked his wet hair out of his face and trudged toward Nico. Levi stood in front of his husband, shivering slightly. Nico took a step forward, arms reaching for Levi, but Levi stepped out of range, wrapping his arms around himself. 'I will fill out any applications you want, meet with surrogates, but only after I know where I will be after my fellowship. Not a nanosecond sooner.'
'Okay.' Nico took a cautious step toward Levi. When he didn't move, he closed the distance between them, and enveloped Levi's body with his own. 'You're freezing,' he murmured. 'And soaked.'
Levi burrowed into Nico's solid, warm chest. 'Why do you feel like you have to rush things?' he asked softly, his voice far more plaintive than he'd intended.
Nico blew out a breath. 'I don't know.' He began to rock slightly, heel-to-toe, Levi swaying gently with him. 'Emma's five years younger than me. When she started kindergarten, I was in fifth grade. I left for college when she was in eighth grade. Then med school before she even graduated high school. I never wanted that much of an age gap between my kids. And I've always gone for what I wanted. Taking it slow hasn't really been part of my vocabulary. You know that…' One hand slowly stroked Levi's back, from the nape of his neck to the curve of his bottom. 'And you make me slow down and remember it's not just me anymore.' Nico pulled back just enough to meet Levi's gaze. He thumbed of drop of water off the tip of Levi's nose. 'It's late,' he murmured. 'Let's get you dried off and go to bed.' He tried to tug Levi into the bathroom, but Levi's feet remained stubbornly rooted to the spot.
'What if I can't stay in Seattle?' Levi asked in a small voice. 'What if I end up in Houston? I have that interview with Texas Children's next week…'
Nico lifted one of Levi's hands to his mouth and kissed the palm. 'There are four major league sports teams in Houston. At least two colleges with sports teams. There are MVCs in Houston. And kids who fall out of trees. And people who need new joints. I will find something. We will figure it out.'
'I'm really scared,' Levi admitted, so quietly Nico strained to hear him. 'I've only ever lived in Seattle…' He glanced up at Nico. 'And Houston is really hot.'
Nico grinned. 'We'll get air conditioning.' He led Levi to the bathroom. 'Come on. You're cold and wet. Let's get you dried off and changed. And go to bed.'
This time Levi let Nico drag him into the bathroom, where Nico quickly stripped off his clothes, then rubbed him with a towel until Levi was dry. Nico hung Levi's wet clothes over the shower curtain rail. Levi wrapped the damp towel around his waist. 'I do want another kid. I just don't want to start trying for one when there's so much uncertainty involved.'
'Okay.' Nico yawned widely. 'Let's go to bed, okay? I have a really early surgery in the morning.'
Levi headed to their bedroom. 'We can discuss names…' he relented.
'I have a list,' Nico declared.
'Of course you do.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Levi rolled the stroller back and forth with one foot, saving the coveted table in the back corner of the coffee shop while Nico stood in line to order their drinks. 'Are you Dr. Schmitt?' Levi glanced up. A young woman stood next to the table, tucking a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. 'Yes. You must be Kelly! Hi. I'm sorry… if I stop the stoller, Jonathan will wake up and scream bloody murder for twenty minutes.' He picked up his phone. 'What would you like to drink?' 'I'll get it,' Kelly said, turning to the line. 'I can text my husband. We can get it.' Levi picked up his phone. 'What do you want?' 'The ginger-lemongrass tea,' she said sheepishly. 'I was up way too late last night working on my portfolio. I'm a little fried from all the coffee I drank.' Levi grinned and tapped the order into his phone. 'I know the feeling.' He set his phone aside. 'I don't do the small talk thing very well,' he stated, after an awkward silence. 'Me, either,' Kelly admitted. 'Probably why I like libraries.' 'Right. You're getting a library science master's at Udub,' Levi recalled. 'Yeah. I've got a job lined up at Cornish.' 'My mom was a children's librarian. She retired last year.' 'She's a frickin' saint,' Kelly muttered. 'No offense, but kids…' A disgusted expression crossed her face. 'What's wrong with kids?' Nico asked, setting down three cups. 'Hi, I'm Nico,' he said, holding out a hand. 'Kelly,' she said, shaking Nico's hand firmly. 'And nothing is wrong with kids in general, I just don't really like them.' 'Then why be a surrogate?' Nico inquired. Kelly shrugged. 'I don't want kids for myself,' she told Nico. 'But that doesn't mean other people don't want them. And I'm perfectly able -- physically -- to help them out with it.' She picked up her tea, blowing gently on the surface. 'So tell me about yourselves.' 'Erm…' Nico looked helplessly at Levi. 'We're both surgeons,' Levi said. 'I'm in orthopedics and he does pediatrics,' Nico added. 'I grew up in Seattle,' Levi offered. 'L.A.,' Nico said. 'My parents still live there. My sister lives in San Francisco. She's a lawyer.' Levi lifted a hand. 'Only child. Which sucked.' 'We've been together for six years,' Nico supplied. 'Married for three.' 'Work in the same hospital. It has a daycare,' Levi said brightly. 'But we're both attendings, so our schedules aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. Well, as mine used to be.' 'Okay… stop.' Kelly held up both hands. 'I'm not an adoption agency. You don't have to convince me you're awesome parents.' She rested her elbows on the table. 'Why have another kid?' 'We want another child,' Nico said. 'We want Jonathan to have a brother or sister.' 'It's not purely for our benefit,' Levi assured Kelly. 'Tell me about Jonathan.' Kelly sipped her tea. 'Did you use a surrogate for him, too?' 'He was my patient,' Levi said. 'He'd been left at a fire station just after he was born. He was also born with a heart condition--' 'Wait. What?' Kelly interrupted. 'What do you mean? What kind of condition?' 'Hypoplastic left heart syndrome,' Nico answered. Jonathan stirred, and Nico swiftly unbuckled the straps in the stroller, and lifted the boy into his arms. 'Hey, kiddo…' he crooned, smoothing down Jonathan's fluffy hair. 'I need to know that if I help you have a kid, that you won't neglect them, because you have to give all your attention to Jonathan.' 'He's fine,' Nico muttered defensively. 'There's three surgeries to correct the defect. He's had two. He'll have the last one next spring when he's two.' He patted Jonathan's back, a little harder than necessary. 'He's fine.' Levi leaned forward. 'What he means to say is that there shouldn't be any problems.' He scowled at Nico. 'Calm down,' he murmured. 'Where do sports fit in?' Kelly continued blithely. 'Um, because we're gay?' Levi asked. 'No, will you let them play them?' Kelly shot back. Nico shifted Jonathan to the other side of his lap. 'Calm down' he told Levi. 'Yes. If they want.' 'But no contact sports!' Levi exclaimed. 'That doesn't leave much,' Kelly said slowly. 'Leaves enough,' Levi huffed. 'What do you have against contact sports?' Kelly wondered. 'That takes out football, hockey, soccer…' 'Pediatric surgeon,' Levi piped up, pointing to himself. 'Do you know the kinds of injuries I see from contact sports?' He glanced at Nico. 'Back me up here.' 'He's got a point,' Nico said, tickling Jonathan's tummy. 'I'd even draw the line at gymnastics.' He shuddered. 'Nasty ligament and joint injuries. Some of the most gruesome fractures I've seen have been on gymnasts.' 'Wow.' Kelly sipped her tea. 'You intend to wrap them in bubble wrap?' 'No, of course not,' Nico sighed. 'We just see a lot of stuff…' Kelly toyed with a napkin. 'If I do this, what do you expect of me after the kid's born?' 'Whatever you feel comfortable doing,' Levi replied. He moved his mug away from Jonathan's questing hands. 'You can be as involved as you want. Or not.' He retrieved a baggie of Cheerios and deposited a few in front of Jonathan. 'It's entirely up to you.' 'We'll tell them about their biological mother, of course. And let him know what your medical history is. And that can be as far as it goes.' Nico shook a few more Cheerios in front of Jonathan. 'Or you can come to birthday parties and spin a dreidel at Hanukkah,' he said. Nico caught Kelly's bemused expression. 'We're Jewish,' Nico said, straightening his spine. Kelly stared at Nico. 'You're Jewish?' 'I converted,' Nico said blandly. 'And you plan to raise your children in the Jewish faith?' 'The duh is kinda silent,' Levi said with a chuckle. 'My mother would disown me if we didn't.' Kelly nodded. 'How much are you going to dictate how I live my life while we're trying to get pregnant and while I'm pregnant?' Nico's brows rose and he reached for his coffee. 'Uh, watch your caffeine intake, no alcohol or smoking. Take prenatal vitamins.' He glanced at Levi. 'We're not gonna demand you eat quinoa and kale with every meal. No micromanagement.' 'And we don't have to go to every appointment with you,' Levi added hastily. 'Ultrasounds, we'd like to see…' 'And we want to be in the room when you give birth,' Nico interjected. Kelly nodded slowly. 'Okay… I'll let you know?' She pushed herself to her feet. Levi hastily stood. 'Oh. Okay. Of course.' Kelly gathered her bag. 'I'll call you in a few days.' ***** Nico pushed the stroller down the street, while Levi carried Jonathan on his hip. 'We really fucked-- screwed that up,' Nico commented, with a glance at Jonathan, who was no doubt storing the profanity in his memory to shout at the worst possible moment. Levi shifted his grip on Jonathan. 'We were honest. And if she can't handle that, then she's not the right one for us.' Nico turned into the park and steered the stroller to a bench next to a sandbox. Levi set Jonathan in the sandbox and gave him a few toys. Nico dropped onto the bench. 'I guess we ought to call the next person on our list?' 'Or we could wait until she calls us?' Levi reached for the diaper bag and pulled out a bottle of water. 'I kinda liked her.' Nico looked at him askance. 'Really? Because it seemed like you didn't like her at all.' 'Well, other than her irrational outrage that we don't want our children to suffer a concussion when they're fifteen, I don't disagree with any of her concerns. Why should she be involved after the birth if she doesn't want to be? Or that we wouldn't treat her like a responsible adult who can manage her own diet? I wouldn't want that.' Levi stretched his feet out in front of him. 'Assuming Kelly calls us back and says yes, when do we start?' Nico watched Jonathan fill a small bucket with sand, then dump it over a chunky, plastic dinosaur. 'Not until he's had the last surgery. Or a few months before then. Assuming she gets pregnant right away, then we won't have to deal with a newborn and a toddler recovering from open heart surgery. We can find a house. Find a nanny.' ‘Figure out who’s going on parental leave first…’ ‘I’ll do it,’ Nico volunteered. ‘But you took all the leave for Jon because of my fellowship,’ Levi objected. ‘You’ve done the bulk of childcare for the last year.’ ‘But you’re just starting out…’ ‘Not by the time we actually have a baby,’ Levi pointed out. 'Okay, fine. We'll split it. And if you really want, you can take the first half.' Nico grinned smugly. Levi studied Nico, a frown deepening a line between his brows. 'You agreed to that awfully fast.' Nico's shrugged. 'You don't remember the whole newborn stage with Jon,' he said. 'But the laundry never ends. There's spit up, poop, snot… Crying . I had to leave an entire cart full of groceries in the store because his diaper exploded. Which would have been okay, but we'd been running errands, and we'd already had a couple of incidents.' He rubbed his palm over the knee of his jeans. 'Gave a whole new meaning to the term shitshow.' He began to laugh gleefully. 'And you get to deal with it next time. Ahhhhh. I can't wait.' 'Oh, that's mean.' 'We're partners, man,' Nico chortled. 'I did it last time, now this one's yours.' Nico threw his arm around Levi's shoulders and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. 'I get to pick the name.' 'What?' Levi pulled away. 'You named Jon,' Nico said reasonably. 'You can contribute possible names, and I will choose a suitably appropriate name.' 'Then we find out if it's a boy or girl before it's born,' Levi countered. 'Good. I like being prepared.' Levi's phone rang, and he dug it out of his pocket. 'I am not on call,' he grumbled, glancing at the screen. He stared at it with an air of wariness, that it might explode if he answered the call. Taking a deep breath, he tapped the screen. 'Hi… Lemme ask…' He turned to Nico. 'What are we doing Tuesday night?' Nico gave him a bemused look. 'Uh, nothing?' 'Tuesday's good. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'll text you our address.' He disconnected the call and slipped the phone back into his pocket. 'That was Kelly. She's coming by so we can discuss the contract.' He watched Jonathan scoop sand into the bucket using his hands. 'We're having another baby,' he breathed. Nico leaned forward to ruffle Jonathan's hair. 'Enjoy now, kiddo. You have no idea how much your life is gonna change.'
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nico shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
Levi flitted around the kitchen like a nervous butterfly. ‘Morning,’ he sang, pouring coffee into Nico’s favorite mug.
‘Mmmm.’ Nico slid onto a stool and cradled the mug between his hands, inhaling the aroma with something akin to orgasmic pleasure. Levi looked like the hot-cocoa-with-whipped-cream-and-sprinkles type — which he was — but he did like his coffee strong enough to wake the dead. After a few sips, Nico felt slightly more able to form words. ‘Mornin’.’
Levi’s fingertips tapped in a rhythmic tattoo on the counter, while he gave the calendar increasingly pointed glances. ‘Well?’
Nico gazed at him over the rim of his mug. ‘What?’
‘Are we doing something?’
Nico’s head tilted to the side. ‘Did you want to do something?’
Levi’s mouth rounded into a perfect O. ‘It’s Valentine’s Day!’
Nico crossed his arms over his chest, nose scrunching with clear distaste. ‘Valentine’s Day is… a nightmare. A nightmare, Levi. The little chocolate kiss things are three times as expensive because they’re in some stupid box. And it’s the day everyone wants to try the little romantic bistro down by the market, so of course it’s packed, and the menu is limited, and it’s always stuff nobody wants. And the expectations are enormous, and it if it doesn’t live up to some insane standard, nobody’s happy.’
Levi was taken aback by the vehemence of Nico’s response. ‘Oh.’ He blinked a few times, and Nico felt a twinge of guilt. Levi was sunshine and bunnies and unabashed romance. It wasn’t that Nico didn’t believe in romance. He did. He loved romance. He would do sappy, cheesy teen movie romance at the drop of a hat. If Levi asked for the moon, Nico would find a way to get him the goddamn moon. What he didn’t love was doing a grand gesture for the sake of a grand gesture on Valentine’s Day.
Nico gulped some of his coffee. ‘Give me ten minutes, and I can go to the hospital with you.’
Levi pushed himself from the counter and opened the refrigerator. ‘Take fifteen.’ He reached inside and pulled out his lunch, then stalked to his backpack sitting on the couch. Levi stuffed the container into his it, then perched stiffly on the edge of a cushion.
Nico slid off the stool and padded into the bathroom, taking his coffee with him. He stripped off his boxers and shirt, then twisted the the taps in the bath, and finished his coffee waiting for the water to heat up. He was willing to give Levi some leeway. Navigating the give-and-take in committed relationships was still a fairly new experience for Levi. If he were brutally honest with himself, there were aspects of it that Nico had to learn to navigate as well. The pace of his residency hadn’t lent itself to maintaining a relationship beyond occasional, casual, hey-let’s-grab-a-drink-later types that rarely lasted more than a month or two.
‘I’m leaving in ten minutes, with or without you!’ Levi shouted through the door. Nico started and clambered into the tub.
Nico rubbed the stiffness from his neck as he picked up the eraser and wiped off the ACL repair he’d just completed from the OR board. Link perched on the edge of the desk, yawning into a cup of coffee. ‘Got plans with Amelia tonight?’
Link’s face wreathed in a beatific smile. ‘Maggie offered to babysit tonight, so Amelia and I have the house to ourselves. We are going to order too much Chinese food from that hole-in-the-wall she loves, break out the good sparkling apple juice, and settle in bed in our jammies so we can binge-watch that British baking show and watch catastrophes unfold that won’t actually kill anyone. Then, we can fall asleep before midnight, and — this is the best part — sleep the entire night without getting up to feed or change the baby!.’ Link slapped the counter. ‘Happy Valentine’s Day to us.’
‘And Amelia’s okay with that?’ Nico snorted. Amelia, like Levi, was a bit on the high maintenance side.
‘She wanted to go to bed at nine, but I talked her into staying up an extra hour.’ Link beamed with smug self-satisfaction. ‘Wait until you have a kid, man. You’ll do anything to spend a few kid-free hours, talking about something that doesn’t revolve around your spawn’s poop.’ Link clapped him on the back. ‘Something to look forward to.’
Tyler hung up the phone. ‘Dr. Link, trauma’s in the pit. They need an ortho consult.’
Link waved at Nico. ‘One of the joys of being a department head. I will hand this one over to you. It’s all yours. And I can start my evening sooner.’
Nico bounced on the balls of his feet, then blurted, ‘Levi wanted a big… thing… today…’ He ran his hand over his scrub cap. ‘It’s not really my thing, and I don’t know what to do.’
‘I just handed you one.’ Link pointed in the direction of the ER. ‘If your man’s a surgical junkie like you, it’ll make his night. Doesn’t hurt that he gets off watching you work.’ He saluted Nico, then sauntered away.
Nico approached trauma room one. Two interns wrestled a portable X-ray machine through the doors. From the amount of splinting on the patient, he could definitely use a second pair of hands during surgery. ‘Zeller. Page Dr. Schmitt. I’m gonna need a resident.’ He walked up to the gurney containing a dazed and heavily bandaged teenage boy. ‘Hey man. It’s Theo, right?’
Theo, eyes glazed with the morphine he’d been given. ‘Yeah…’
‘Wanna tell me how this happened?’
‘Tox screen is clear, Dr. Kim,’ Zeller murmured.’ Nico nodded and accepted the tablet Zeller handed him.
Theo grimaced and his eyes filled with embarrassed tears. ‘Worked up the nerve to ask the most amazing girl out, and I thought it would be cool to show up with a balloon bouquet.’
‘Right. Flowers are kinda lame.’ Nico studied the images on the tablet. ‘Everybody does flowers.’
‘One of ‘em got in my face while I was driving to her house, and I jumped a curb and crashed into a bus…’ His head lurched on the pillow toward Nico. ‘How bad is it?’
Nico gently patted Theo on the shoulder. ‘I’ve seen worse. We are gonna have to do surgery, but you’ll be delivering balloon bouquets in no time.’ He glanced at Zeller behind him. ‘Go book an OR, please.’
Levi strode through the sliding doors. ‘You paged?’
Nico ushered him out of the trauma room. ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ He handed Levi the tablet. ‘You are scrubbing in.’
Levi angled the tablet so he could read it. ‘That’s a lot of fractures…’ He squinted a little. ‘And at least one… no two need an ex fix…’ He trailed off. ‘How did this happen?’
‘High school Valentine’s date gone bad.’ Nico took back the tablet. ‘You’re interested in peds, so I thought you’d like it. As an ortho guy, I live for accidents like this.’ He flicked the edge of the tablet. ‘And the only reason I like Valentine’s Day is because people do stupid shit like this in the name of romance, and I get to cut.’
‘You sound almost gleeful.’
Nico leaned closer. ‘Hours of surgery… Where you are allowed to openly appreciate my artistry,’ he murmured in Levi’s ear. ‘And don’t pretend you don’t find it hot. There’s an on-call room on five that hardly anyone uses… Maybe after the surgery… We can appreciate each other.’ He straightened, his fingertips brushing the back of Levi’s hand. ‘As I said, Happy Valentine’s Day.’