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Another day. Another dollar.
Castiel began to wonder just how important a dollar really was to him. He sighs. Out of everyone at the office, why did he get sent on a last minute call with Lucifer?
“Come on, Castiel. Not even a little bit?!” Lucifer asks in a voice that if he was honest, makes him want to hit the brakes just so his cousin’s face smashes the dashboard.
“No. And since we are on the topic of the woman you hooked me up with--for future reference, don’t help me. In fact, after meeting Gabriel’s friend Balthazar--you can tell him not to help anymore, either. You both clearly know nothing about my type for a partner.”
Castiel checks the mirrors as the late afternoon sun begins to drop some. Rush hour traffic was always the worst. Lucifer snaps his nicotine gum with a sound that puts Castiel more on edge than the traffic and Lucifer’s choice of radio station already had. He really needed a new job. Preferably one far, far away from the family business. Lucifer starts patting his pockets for his phone.
“She really liked you, ya know. Besides, Lilith is a sweet girl and her body, Cas. How could you just kiss her cheek when she invited you in and thank her! You had it in the bag, Ass-tiel, and you blew it!” A horn blares from somewhere behind them. Castiel rolls his eyes, because that was certainly gonna make things hurry right along.
“I believe our definitions of ‘sweet’ and ‘scary’ are two completely different things,” he mutters, glancing ahead and praying for the light to just stay green so he can make his turn. “Besides, where did you ever get the idea that I liked any of my women ‘dark and twisty’?”
“Dark and twisty, Cas? Really? This is why you and Netflix should start seeing other people. You’ve spent so many nights inside with all your fur children that you turned into a fur Mommy rather than a fur Daddy.”
Castiel makes a face before eyeing Lucifer up and down. “I’m not taking it back and if you looked up ‘fur Daddy’, I’m not sure that the definition would produce the meaning you just creepily spat out.” Lucifer flips him off as he finally gets to stomp the gas pedal and let some breeze back through his cracked window. Anything to escape car fumes and inner city limits.
If only he could escape his family.
A rock song from the 80’s that Castiel didn’t care for then and certainly doesn’t now, fills the awkward silence of the truck cab. Tapping his thumb against the steering wheel in no particular rhythm at all, he begins to wonder just what kind of posh neighborhood they’ve been called to. Fifteen minutes later, Castiel is starting to wonder if movie stars might live here, too.
As he turns down the radio to glance at the house numbers, Castiel slows the truck to find himself gazing at two people already out front of the address Gabriel gave them on the yellow invoice. The woman throws her arms up in the air while the engine ticks and cools, and it’s all too clear through his open driver’s side window that they’re arguing.
Wonderful.
Lucifer whistles, clearly ogling the woman who looks like a Stepford wife. Castiel wrinkles his nose at him before reaching for the clipboard. “Think they’re happily married?” Leave it to his cousin to be inappropriate.
“You are the devil, you know that? Grow up, Luc.”
His cousin just laughs. Castiel slams his door a little harder than intending to as the hinges creak pathetically in response. In the sunlight “Novak Services” glares off the side of the van and reflects his coveralls in the panel. Castiel really hates the company uniform, but catching rodents and the like or spraying bugs wasn’t exactly a job you wore a suit and tie to, or even a trench coat.
In the driveway, adjacent to a long, black and sleek classic car is a man in plaid who throws his arms up in disgust, “Ugh. Of course you called in someone!”
The frustrated man pinches the bridge of his nose, his freckles coming into view as Castiel approaches to politely interrupt. “Mr and Mrs Braeden?” he asks.
The man before him shakes his head as he scoffs, “No, man, not even close.” Lisa glares at the man as Lucifer practically preens beside Castiel. “Name’s Dean. Dean Winchester.”
Castiel grasps his hand firmly when Dean extends it. They’re calloused, yet soft against his own. This close, Dean smells like musky aftershave and cedar.
Castiel smiles softly. “Castiel Novak. We’re here about a rat infestation?” He hands Dean the clipboard invoice, and the man immediately looks annoyed when he reads it. Castiel notices a small boy through the glass of the front door who looks like the sun stopped shining.
“It’s just two, actually. Two fancy rats. Two very male fancy rats who belong to our son, Ben.”
Ah, Ben. Poor kid just lost his pets and the mom called in the guys who usually rid places of the non-domesticated kind. Castiel can’t help but feel a bit like a villain right now.
“Who are now loose in my house, Dean, and it’s all your fault those dirty beasts were in it to begin with!” Lisa replies shrilly. Well, that explains a lot. Glancing at the door, Castiel feels sorry for Ben. Clearly his Dad is the only one who gets it.
“Actually, that’s great news! Means this won’t take too long, then.” Cas offers a charming smile to Lisa. “Domesticated rats are far easier to catch than their wild brothers.”
Dean looks relieved as Castiel approaches the steps leading to the house. Kneeling down, he extends his hand towards Ben. The door opens a crack as Ben comes out. He sniffles a bit, and Castiel can only imagine how distraught he must feel.
“Ben, my name’s Cas. I’m here to help find your lost rats. Can you tell me a little bit about them?” Behind him, Lucifer is already signing papers with Lisa as Dean’s shadow splays over Castiel’s crouched form on the stairs.
“Their names are Cookies and Cream. One’s really dark brown and the other is white. Dad got them for my birthday. I accidentally left the cage open. I didn’t mean for them to get out. Honest!” Ben looks pleadingly towards his father, “Are they gonna be okay, Dad? I didn’t mean to hurt them, I swear!”
This kid is killing him. Castiel looks up towards Dean and thinks for a moment. “Do you have any bananas, by chance?”
Dean looks at Ben, and Ben pushes past them to approach Lisa. She ruffles his hair and nods before Ben comes racing past them both. “Mom says they’re in the kitchen!” Castiel is taken aback when Ben grabs his sleeve and drags him inside. Dean chuckles somewhere behind him.
“Hey, sport. I know you’re excited, but Mr. Novak didn’t even tell you what they were for.”
Castiel takes a visual inventory of the house’s layout and makes note of the vents he can see. Tidy, bright, and perfume like. Definitely not a rat friendly floor.
“It’s Cas, actually. Cas is fine.” He smiles at Dean and notices how bright his eyes look against the white of the kitchen. Maybe this job wasn’t so bad.
“Well then, Cas. What’s the plan?”
Castiel takes the bananas from Ben and opens one side gently. He opens another and places it in the center of the room. Not likely the rats are here, but he’s been wrong before. “Sometimes all it takes is a little food incentive if they don’t respond to their names,” he hands one to Ben, “You should place this one by their cage. Did you want to show me where that is?”
Ben nods, racing off around the corner. Dean chuckles, “You’re like his superhero right now. Does this kind of thing happen often?”
Castiel laughs softly, grasping for his phone and pressing a button that activated a light on his external case. “I have rescues myself. Sometimes all it takes is something sweet to be better than whatever wood furniture or clothing they might have found to chew on.”
He raises the phone, the walls focused and clear on its screen as they move towards the staircase. Dean moves to allow him to go first and Castiel cannot help but notice how handsome Dean is, from the corner of his eye.
Why couldn’t his family hook him up on blind dates with handsome men like this one?
“So, you own pet rats and kill them for a living? That’s pretty creepy, don’t you think? Sort of Dr. Dolittle at night turned Mr. Hyde by day. Do they know what you really are?”
Castiel snorts. Dean’s funny. He can work with funny.
“Ha ha, and before you go jumping to conclusions, we humanely try to deal with critters and animals actually. We even have a vet tech we can take animals to when needed. Usually though, a simple trap cage and some food will do it.” Castiel rounds a corner at the top of the stairs to a room covered in superhero posters and classic cars. The blue walls are offset by hardwood floor, and on the dresser lies the cage. Empty, quiet, but clean. That’s when Castiel notices the screw. He touches the latch that dangles downward. Dean tilts his head as Ben is once again looking under the bed just to make sure the rats aren’t there.
“That doesn’t look right,” Dean mentions, and Castiel shakes his head.
“It’s not. It looks like the cage failed you, Ben, not you. This happens sometimes, but I can fix it for you when we find the little guys. Where have you already looked?” As Ben begins to ramble off everywhere they’ve looked so far, Castiel scans the phone he was carrying around the room. The shutter click makes Dean extend his neck to catch a glimpse.
“Your camera is both cool and creepy.”
Castiel looks up before snapping one more image and kneeling down beside Ben. Dean kneels, too. “Infrared, despite what the movies show you, does not actually project through a wall. Rats are really determined creatures, so drywall wouldn’t stand a chance. This image shows me what’s inside. Sort of like Superman and his x-ray vision. It uses a Terahertz emitter and just like radar, the waves bounce back and it creates an image.” He points the phone under Ben’s bed as it flashes and sighs. “Nothing in here though, it seems. Where else did you check, Ben?”
“Everywhere but Mom’s room!” Dean and Castiel share a look and Dean laughs.
“God, I hope they’re in her bed.” Ben giggles and Castiel tries to hide his smile.
After several more minutes, it turns out they are in Lisa’s room.
Dean snaps a picture of them sleeping on her pillow where they pulled the feathers out. Ben screeches and Castiel inspects them for any injuries.
While Lisa and Lucifer are in the kitchen with Ben, Castiel puts the finishing touches on the cage to make sure this never happens again. Cookies and Cream seem to approve as he scratches their ears and removes them from the box back into their cage.
“Thank you, for y’know…for not killing my son’s pets,” Dean’s voice is quiet as Castiel stands and turns to face him.
“It isn’t a problem. If I had an issue, I would want someone to help me not hurt them. Ben takes great care of them, actually. He seems like a really good kid.” Castiel smiles when Dean does, “You are very welcome, though. I’m just glad no one was hurt and I didn’t have to be the villain.”
“So you’re definitely more Dr. Dolittle than Mr. Hyde?” Dean asks, winking and Castiel feels his mouth go dry. He clears his throat.
“I think I would make a terrible Eddie Murphy impersonator,” he replies, and that’s when Castiel notices Dean is staring at him.
“You’re probably right. Besides, you are definitely better looking than Eddie Murphy anyways.” Dean grins from ear to ear as Castiel feels his face heat up.
Way to be obvious.
Dean reaches for the business card sticking out of Castiel’s toolbox and smiles as he walks away. “Have a great night, Cas. Sorry about my ex.”
When Castiel finally reaches the door, he can hear the rumble of Dean’s car pulling away as Ben waves from the driveway. Lucifer is leaning against the truck with a smoke in his hand, now that they’re off the clock. He sighs and walks outside to put his things in the back once more after bidding Goodbye to Lisa.
The handsome guy rode off into the sunset without him. Wasn’t that always just the case when he wasn’t listening to his family play matchmaker? Castiel flops into the passenger seat when he tosses Lucifer the keys. The smell of tobacco fills the cab and Lucifer cackles.
“I totally scored her number while you were inside being Mr. Fix-it. Guess Ben called Dean when she wanted to kill the little buggers. Still, do not see why you love the little things myself. They are so freaky.” Lucifer blows smoke out his nostrils and once again turns on the radio to the station Castiel hates.Outside the cab, the sunset erupts in hues of orange and taffy as Castiel ignores whatever date plans Lucifer talks about instead. He knows there is no use in arguing with Lucifer about people’s common misconception about rodents in general, especially rats.
Pulling out his phone, Cas deletes the dating apps his family set him up with and waits for home.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Saturday.Castiel lived for Saturdays. Literally.It was the first day of the week he didn’t have to deal with customers, reply to text messages or any calls about work--and best of all, he could ignore his family members by putting his phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’.Stretching out in the sunlight beaming from the patio door, the scurry of little feet begins. Castiel chuckles, rolling over beneath the familiar worn knitted throw that always occupied his couch. From his position where he fell asleep, the Netflix screen asking if he was still there glaring from the television, he can see four little ratty noses smooshed against the bars.“Guess you're hungry then, huh?” Sitting up, he runs a hand through his bedhead and sighs as his oversized t-shirt pools around his midsection. He yawns as he reaches for his phone, 9:30 am glowing from the screen. No wonder the boys were demanding to eat. “Sorry boys, guess I overslept on you all. Would you like to come out and play?”He is answered with pairs of varying dark eyes and twitchy noses, each one rising on hind legs to meet his fingers against the bars as they sniff and kiss them. Smiling, he releases the door as they all scramble to leap down or crawl onto his shoulders. The eldest of the bunch tickles Castiel’s nose with its curly whiskers as the heat from the rolly, little hairless body radiates incredibly warm against his skin.“How are you today, Jimmy?” Castiel murmurs, reaching up to stroke him gently as the large, naked, pink fleshed rat that had stolen Castiel’s heart in the biggest way begins to brux and boggle at him. Castiel chuckles, “Should it be oats and bananas this morning or yogurt and a bit of blueberry?”As Castiel crosses the floor, the pitter patter of little rat feet trail behind him, he opens the fridge and it becomes painfully clear that the blueberries win when they try to reach the green grocer basket with much enthusiasm and a few light squeaks. They warm his heart in the best way as he grabs a few and rolls them across the floor.The room is soon full of happy chittering and chewing as he carries a plate full of yogurt to them, chia seeds sprinkled along the top. Castiel definitely knows they’re spoiled, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. “There you go, old man. Have your fill.” He sets Jimmy down as the older rat joins in on the food festivities.Leaning against the counter, a fresh cup of coffee in hand, Castiel watches them with strong affection. Jimmy, the eldest at nearly three now was, as they said, his heart rat. A small, abandoned naked runt that he had found left behind in the first job Gabriel ever put him on. Shortly after, it became addicting and a mission to foster and save as many as he could. He smiles as Clarence, the newest addition from a poorly kept feeder bin, comes over to sit and sniff at his bare foot. Castiel wiggles his toes playfully.“You’re definitely a crossbreed, aren’t you? Not so much naked but full of peach fuzz. We should have called you Peaches.” Leaning down he strokes the little dumbo’s ears and gets a small brux from the growing rat. A good sign, considering how afraid he had been when quarantined alone in the bedroom and given antibiotics for the respiratory infection no one had clearly cared about. “I should probably go and get you guys some more supplies today, it’s about that time again. Who knows? Maybe we'll find someone else to save, hmm?” Tilting his head, Clarence sprints off to tackle Jimmy to the ground and begin what Castiel jokingly refers to as their ‘LET ME LOVE YOU, DAMMIT’ style of grooming.How Lucifer or that poor boy's Mother could misunderstand such sweet, clean loving creatures was beyond him. If Castiel could, he’d probably fill the entire apartment with various cages to save them and those like them.Setting his cup down, Castiel goes to work cleaning the cage and making a list of things to get while out. When Jimmy comes over to inspect his work, Castiel nuzzles his nose with his own and laughs softly. “Maybe a new hammock is needed today, hmm? One for winter?” He is met with rat kiss he can only assume means ‘Yes, please!’ and gently places Jimmy back in his cubby.As he gathers and cleans the other boys, Castiel triple checks that the latch is secure before heading out in fresh clothes and tamed hair. Though the list in his pocket isn’t very big, he knows already there will be more at the checkout than was intended.Smiling, Castiel feels lighter than he did the previous evening after leaving work and heads towards the independent pet store on the other side of Lawrence.
“Castiel!”It turns out that when one is related to Gabriel and Lucifer, hearing your very not so common name yelled in public puts you on edge. Castiel jumps, nearly dropping his shopping basket in surprise. Turning around in the food aisle of the store where Castiel was grabbing more Oxbow--he is surprised to see Ben, the child from the previous night running towards him with a smile.“Oh, hello Ben. How are Cookies & Cream?” he asks, smiling warmly as the child practically beams up at him with vibrating excitement.“I told you he would remember us!”Looking up, Castiel catches an eyeful of none other than Dean dressed in a leather jacket and the most fitted jeans he has ever seen on, well, anyone. He smiles at the bow in the man's legs before making eye contact. Green is definitely quickly becoming one of his favourite colours.“So it would seem,” Dean comments, and Castiel can’t help but lick his lips awkwardly as Ben’s father once again smells absolutely divine when he shakes Castiel’s hand.Crush, at first sight, is a thing, right?“Hello, Dean.” And for a moment Castiel swears Dean is staring at him, again.Ben bounces on his feet, “We came to get a cage for Dad’s place so he can have some friends, too!”Castiel finds himself smiling delightfully. Ben’s energy is infectious. “What are you going to adopt?”
“I’m going to adopt the naked ones in the display. I think they're pretty cute in a way I can’t put into words...” Dean scratches at the back of his head awkwardly, a slight blush on his cheeks. “I was going to name them Page and Plant.”Castiel kind of wants to kick the universe. This is like unfairly waving cheese in front of a starving mouse.Dean is definitely the cheese, and Castiel is definitely romantically starved.When was the last time he even got laid?
Castiel shakes his head because that’s probably the most inappropriate thing he could ever think of with the guy’s child standing right between them.Castiel clears his throat and looks anywhere but at Dean, “Naked ones are wonderful. I have a few myself. Their names are Clarence and Jimmy.” Saying it out loud to another person almost makes it sound lame...Dean visibly relaxes. “Any suggestions for a new rat owner?” he asks, gesturing to the shelves, “This almost seems intimidating...”Castiel chuckles. Dean wasn’t wrong. After all, he can remember standing in the same spot with this tiny little pink rodent in his hand looking lost once upon a time as well.“Well, first of all, let's find you a cage,” he suggests and to his surprise Ben once again grabs his sleeve, leading the way as Dean grabs his hand to keep them all together. The heat spreads up his entire arm. It’s calloused and warm just like the first time.Castiel swears he is gonna start praying to some fancy rat god for his blessings this week, regardless of how ridiculous that sounds.
After 45 minutes of going up and down every possible aisle on their shopping trip, Dean has everything he needs and more, much more but Cas couldn’t help but spew every fact and piece of information he had once Dean was hooked on listening. It wasn’t often someone wanted to hear about his passion for small animals, and it just made the taller man all that more attractive.Swinging a plastic bag happily, Ben makes out like a bandit for Cookies & Cream as he tells Castiel everything about them, and Castiel might hate himself just a little bit for it all when he notices Dean ahead of them with the cart.Dean is talking to the little paired male naked rats in a sweet sickly tone, and a part of him is definitely jealous that he’s not the rat kissing Dean’s freckles right now from the travel box as he helps place things in the car with the little boy clearly loved deeply by his Dad.Castiel obviously needs a life away from the epic romances of Grey’s Anatomy and Netflix movies. He was developing a bizarre complex. Perhaps he can blame this on McDreamy?Maybe it was time to back away from the television and start reading books again.“I really appreciate the help, Cas. Any chance you could join us for lunch before I gotta take this little scamp home?” Dean ruffles Ben’s hair as the boy swats his hand away.“Dad!” Dean chuckles and looks to Castiel for his answer. There’s a pause as he looks in the direction of his own car and sighs.“As lovely as that sounds, I really do need to be somewhere later,” Castiel lies, watching as Dean looks almost disappointed, and somehow for a moment, he actually feels guilty. “I am very sorry Dean, and to you as well Ben, but maybe some other time?”Ben nods and hugs his Dad’s leg as Dean once again extends his hand, “Another time, then.”Castiel nods, shaking it firmly.
Castiel really needs a new job, and definitely some kind of life, preferably one that did not include ex-husbands who were a walking wet dream.
“Novak Services. How may we help you today?”Castiel taps his pen against the desk as Anna’s voice drifts through the office. It’s getting colder outside, more and more people are phoning as various creatures go in search of warmth. Just that morning Castiel had gone up against a raccoon. An adorable trash panda, really, despite the ripped cover-alls and a bandaged cheek when all was said and done. The day before some skunks where they didn't belong. Several days before that rats, it was an owl not rats or mice like the homeowner had thought. That didn't include the bed bugs or the angry customers when it came time to pay their bill.
Thank God it was Friday.Castiel thumbs the bandage where it itches and makes a face. Hopefully, it wouldn’t leave too much of a scar. Tapping his pen again, he chews his lip thoughtfully. Maybe he should contact Hannah and see how the raccoon was doing since he brought it in. Opening his email, Castiel is about to start typing when Gabriel appears in the doorway, smiling.That couldn’t mean anything good, not for him anyway.Castiel sighs, “I do not trust you when you're happy, so spit out whatever it is you are about to tell me so I can just move on with my afternoon….”Gabriel chuckles, “Someone’s grumpy! What’s the matter? Not a fan of love taps from ring-tailed furry creatures in attic crawl spaces?”Castiel really wishes he could throw a raccoon in Gabriel’s smug face right now. Assbutt.“Bite me,” he grits out with a scowl. Maybe a DNA test could prove these baboons weren’t really his blood relatives. Surely there was a ‘switched at birth’ mistake somewhere.Gabriel glances over his shoulder and shrugs, “Well in that case, Ass-tiel, I’ll just tell the very handsome gentlemen out front, with the bow legs and leather jacket, that you aren’t here.”Castiel freezes. In fact, he almost swallows his tongue. Did Gabe just say--? No…then again, Dean did take the card from his toolbox, right? It isn’t like Dean didn’t already know where he worked. Castiel is just standing up from his chair, about to demand an explanation when McDreamy himself appears in the doorway. Castiel seems to have forgotten how to breathe.Dean. He definitely means Dean. Damn it!“Heya, Cas.” Dean looks at him over the edge of his dark aviators and flashes Castiel a smile that literally makes butterflies explode all over his body, right down to his toes. “How does lunch sound now?”From over Dean’s shoulder, Castiel can see his family members staring at him from various spots on the office floor. Castiel’s eyes widen in horror as Lucifer starts vigorously humping air and making absolutely terrible orgasm faces at him and then groans miserably when Gabriel joins in as well.
Fucking assholes.
Dean turns around to see both Lucifer and Gabriel snickering as they wander off, rolling his eyes having caught the tail end of their obvious gestures.Castiel wonders if he can fit himself underneath his desk and hide there until such time as Dean forgets his existence and that insanity in the hallway. He rubs a hand over his face to try and keep the embarrassment from showing too much in various shades of red and pink “I’m so sorry, Dean. My brother and cousin are very inappropriate and immature.” To his surprise, Dean laughs softly.“Nah, I have a little brother. I get it. It’s just shit family does, right?”Castiel feels himself relax some at that. “Right…so, you asked about lunch?”Dean nods, grinning as Castiel’s knees go weak. “I did, and this time--you aren’t getting away so easily.”That probably should not sound as hot as the images in Castiel’s head make it sound. He is so, so screwed.Castiel reaches over to lock the computer before grabbing his coat. As he slips the trench coat over his blue dress shirt, the fabric rustling against his faded jeans, he admires Dean for just a moment.
Castiel isn’t shallow, at least he doesn't think so, but men like Dean didn’t just appear all of a sudden in your very real life, let alone be interested in you right away. After all, he got beat up by a raccoon today... surely he can just process this into memory before he possibly embarrasses himself more than his family already has?Closing the door of the office, Castiel feels the familiar warmth and roughness of Dean’s hand in his. Blushing, Castiel nods and squeezes Dean’s hand with his own.The blast of fresh air that smells of fall approaching makes Castiel relieved for Dean’s visit when they finally walk through the large glass doors and away, far away from his co-workers.“How do you feel about cheeseburgers?” Dean asks, opening the passenger door to the sleek ebony vehicle Castiel has heard purr a handful of times now. It’s beautiful. Castiel’s stomach growls when Dean closes the door for him. He didn’t realize he was absolutely starving after crawling around in someone’s dusty old attic all morning.“They’re my favourite, actually, after honey anyways...”Dean slips into the car with a grin at that, Zeppelin playing loudly as the car rumbles to life beneath them.“Awesome. Also, Cas meet Baby, Baby meet Cas. She might be a classic, but I assure you she rides like a dream and can take on any woman by comparison.” Castiel is touched when Dean kisses his fingers and taps the visor. He buckles his seat belt and gently admires her leather stitching as Dean pulls out of the lot.“It’s nice to meet you, Baby--,” he says softly, and excitement prickles up and down his spine like electrical shocks, “Anything I should know about Dean?”He really did wish she could tell him everything. It would certainly make this part easier.“Pfft. Nice try, Cas. Baby doesn’t spill the beans to anybody. No kiss and tell here.”Turning around to inspect the back seat, Castiel raises an eyebrow at Dean’s statement before staring out the window to admire the blue sky and sunshine.“Any rules about the back seat? This is clearly the kind of car you use the back seat for...” the words out of his mouth before he can catch himself and Dean nearly chokes on his own spit. Castiel wants to feel sorry for that observation but cannot help but laugh.Dean shakes his head, clearing his throat and trying to hide the obviously embarrassed flush on his cheekbones “She still isn’t going to tell you anything...”Castiel hums lightly, “We’ll see about that, Dean. We’ll see.”
“And here I assumed you were just awkwardly nerdy and sweet,” mumbled Dean once he regained the powers of speech.Castiel smirks. Awkward? Yes. Nerdy? Perhaps. Sweet? Yeah, he could be, but he also had needs...“Assuming anything makes an ass out of you and me,” Castiel teases and Dean chuckles, “Guess you’ll just have to treat me to lunch and find out what I’m really like...”Dean laughs softly.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Lawrence is a thing of beauty. The city seemed to keep its architectural charms while growing into so much more over the years that Castiel had lived there. The technician admires the sun’s glow between the buildings as the city edges appear.
“Have you always been in Lawrence, or did you come from elsewhere?” Dean asks, the ticking of his signal light making Castiel tap his toe within his shoe.
“No...” he replies, sort of disconnected and wonders what the easiest way to explain his story is. The music is floating through the speakers on a low volume as Dean hums softly. “It’s kind of a long story, a bit of a boring one, I think...” And it’s only a half lie.
Lawrence, Kansas hadn’t always been home, that part was true, but when circumstances leave you screwed in every possible way, you play nice until they change. You get the hell out of dodge when trouble goes hunting and you hope it never does find you. You stick it out until something changes.
It was simple, really. One year turned to two. Soon it was four and then the next thing he knew six years had gone by and here he was, still exactly where he started.
“You got some kind of shady past or some secret sort of job that you’d have to kill me over if you told me about it?” Dean teases, smiling as they stop at a red light.
Castiel can already see the beginnings of the fields before the buzzing city fades in the rear view.“Something like that, I guess. Came out here to get back on my feet and just--just stayed, I guess,” Castiel shrugs, chewing his lip for a moment.
Dean makes the engine growl as he picks up speed and cranks down his window to let the breeze in. Castiel inhales deeply. Fields of golds and grasses surrounded them, the smell of farms and soil.
“Maybe you just haven’t found your footing yet. Sometimes it takes time to find your balance,” Dean murmurs, voice laced in warmth meant to relax Castiel.
Castiel scratches at the back of his neck and clears his throat, “How about you?”
Dean chuckles softly, “You’re cute when you don’t know what to say and want to change the subject. You know that, right?” And Castiel feels his ears warming. Dean is charming, and frustrating in a sweet-talking sort of way.
“This is for the backseat comment, isn’t it?” Castiel mutters, but Dean is grinning and all around them yellow sunflowers seem to bring beauty to everything in a different light.
“Maybe, but the answer is yes. Yes, I have lived here all my life, and while I have found my footing--I am still hoping someone will knock me off my feet.” Dean replies softly, the air through the windows moving his hair some. The yellow contrast to a blue sky makes Dean’s eyes a shade of green that has Castiel wondering if maybe he has never seen the colour properly until just now.
“Do you use that line on all the potential men and woman who sit here?” Castiel snorts, a part of him unsure of what he truly meant by that and if he really wants to know.
“Actually, no. That’s a new one,” Dean remarks slyly, “However, if it’s working, I’m sure I can think of some more.”
Castiel can’t help the laugh that leaves his shoulders shaking, “You are absolutely unreal, Dean Winchester,” he finally manages and Dean’s laughter continues for a few more seconds.
“Can’t blame a man for trying, Cas. It isn’t every day some man is handsome, loves animals, is great with children, and agrees to lunch. I just want to make sure I get a good look at those baby blues and handsome face before you decide I am way out of your league.”
Castiel rolls his eyes, “Yeah, okay there, Casanova...” But the truth was, something about it was both charming and makes Castiel’s insides flip flop a little. Dean is funny, playful and witty.
Refreshing.
Staring out the window, Castiel finds himself falling for the look of sunflowers and the smell of leather. Dean is humming the lyrics to Kashmir softly to himself and somewhere inside of Castiel this feels familiar. Like they’ve done this a million times over already.
Talk about rom-coms ruining your reality. Maybe Lucifer had a point. A big one.
The lines on the road stop blurring as Dean pulls into a gravel driveway, a few trees shading the long wraparound deck. There are sunflowers everywhere Castiel can see as the red building with its rustic charm reads “The Roadhouse Family Business”. Potted plants of many colours lay pruned and blooming, adding something homey to the place. Castiel undoes his seat belt slowly, amazed by the quietness of a place only about a half hour from the city. Dean opens his door with a grin that makes Castiel’s knees weak before even standing.
Castiel needs to even the playing field a little before he loses to his dick rather than his brain. It isn’t like they met on Grindr. He refuses to become that cliché lonely statistic. The first handsome guy that piques his interest in ages, and Castiel absolutely refuses to just fall into bed because of a flirty smile and gorgeous green eyes.
Well--at least he is going to try ...
“Now, for my next question: I gotta know, Cas, are you a bacon man, or a snob?” Dean asks, and Castiel arches an eyebrow at him.
“Are you serious?” Maybe Dean is crazy. There’s bound to be a flaw in there somewhere, right?
“Very,” Dean replies, and Castiel shakes his head as his lip curls upwards.
“Bacon, and for the record, extra cheese. Tell me you’re adding mushrooms, though, and this date is over on the count of burger blasphemy. Means you’re also paying for my cab when I’m done drinking, if that happens.”
Dean leans in over the edge of the door, moving closer to Castiel’s face, eyes intense. “Cas, do I look like the kind of man that eats fungus and rabbit food?”
Castiel looks Dean up and down for a moment as the heat rises in his stomach, he swallows roughly. Maybe he can’t avoid the ‘meet, fancy, fuck’ cliché, but at least he can say he got some good moments in before giving up.
“I don’t know what you like to eat, Dean, but I can assure you--if you’re going to play this game with me, you are going to need all the energy you can get.”
Castiel watches Dean’s eyes widen, mouth agape like a fish and slightly taken aback by his boldness. This time, Castiel winks. He closes the door with his hip, “Now, if you’re done imagining all the ways you want to bend me over in that backseat, you’d better start building a better case than you being just another pretty face, Dean, because it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than that to get me into bed.”
“I think I need a drink,” Dean rasps, voice sounding clipped and dry. Castiel preens, at least he’s evened the playing field.
Castiel pulls out his phone to text Gabriel.
Don’t wait for me. I’m officially using a sick day.
“Beer and burgers?” Castiel asks and thankfully, Dean nods as he holds the door open and ushers them both inside.
The hostess greets them happily, a
woman with blonde hair and a large smile Castiel finds unforced as she seats them, their hands only coming apart when Castiel slides into the booth opposite Dean. Their order is quick, simple. No fuss. When she finally walks away Castiel fiddles with the salt shaker.
“So…the usual banter or we going for something more realistic here?” Dean asks and Castiel licks his lips. He thinks back to the moment in the car and shrugs. He did just crack sex jokes more than a few times. Usual was definitely not how this was panning out.
Maybe, that was a good thing.
“I moved out here because I lost my entire post-college life to the wrong girl, and all for a bad bag of drugs and a threesome.”
Mideswell clear the air.
Dean blinks. A silence stretches across the table.
“Wow.”
Castiel thanks the red-headed waitress for the bottles of chilled beer she places on the table as she arrives, Dean's voice carrying across them both like an elephant stepped into the room. She smiles back sweetly when he says Thank you, watching Castiel a moment as he gulps the ale with eager want. She seems to look at Dean with something he cannot discern before disappearing again.
Dean begins to laugh, leaving Castiel confused. “I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting that…and here I was just going to ask you about the bandage on your face.” He finally says, eyes crinkling as he lifts the beer to his lips. Castiel is pretty sure that shouldn’t look highly seductive as he watches the man’s Adam’s apple bob when he swallows.
“It was a raccoon, in a crawl space. Trash panda wasn’t a fan of being evicted.” Castiel informs him, picking at the label on his beer bottle, the glue giving way. He can feel Dean watching him. “I moved back because I had lost everything. I got myself cleaned up and…ta da! I wear bad coveralls, chase small animals for a living. Netflix and I have a long-standing, healthy relationship together because most people don't find someone like me worth the battle” Castiel chuckles and shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t know. I thought I’d have left this place, gone to do something more, but I’m still here.”
Looking up, Dean still smiling at him rather than looking judgmental. Most of his dates that make it past the bedroom usually ended when Castiel drops that nugget of info, it's why he led with it now, not as a sympathy tactic but one that saved him a lot of meaningless bullshit more often than not. People liked their illusions of grand lives without angst and conflict. It’s why he dislikes social media and the idea that positivity solves everything.
Paint one picture but live another, the world didn't work that way.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this is not your usual dating behaviour,” Dean nudges playfully, voice soft and warm.
Castiel shakes his head, "Not always, but seeing as you’re still smiling and not uncomfortable… What’s your story?”
“Hmm. If I tell you, do I get to know more about that bag of bad drugs and the threesome?” Dean teases and Castiel finds himself smiling, and okay, maybe even a bit hopeful. No one ever wants to know more, they just wanna run or let it get awkward enough till someone gives up and calls it off first.
“Only if I get to know how someone like you was once with someone like Lisa. You two seem so opposite to the other, from what I gathered." He replies, his tone coming off rudely. He wipes at his mouth with his hand when he sputters a bit of his drink. "Ah, sorry--I’m sorry if that’s rude, I just...” Castiel gestures with the beer bottle in his hand a bit sheepish and Dean nods, sighing some as he takes another sip.
Dean has perfect lips.
Castiel is definitely jealous as he downs another gulp to calm himself.
“She was a mate’s best friend. We were about 18, got to talking. I was the cocky ‘just out of high school’ jock and she was the former class president. Bush fire, the backseat of the Impala, more than enough booze, and Ben happened." Dean swirls his drink for a moment like he's remembering something awkward.
"I tried to do the right thing. We tried to do it all the right ways…but, shit happens ya know?. I wasn’t very good at playing house, and her family was to say it lightly-- hard to please. Once her dad found out I was bisexual, well, you can imagine how that went...”
Dean takes a large swig of his bottle and sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck. “When Ben was about 4, we split officially and thankfully I didn’t have to sleep on the couch anymore. Lost the house to Lisa but kept the bar going. This place is home to me. I was tired of trying to please someone who liked the idea of being in love with me and lying to myself. None of us were happy, not really. That isn’t fair to anyone...”
Castiel frowns, “I’m sorry, that sounds hard. I couldn’t imagine...”
Dean taps his fingers lightly on the bottles condensation, “Lisa is a good woman, great mom actually. We have our moments but she really is good with Ben and we work out our shit from time to time. Sometimes we do dinner, or a movie provided her family isn’t around and I am not here slinging drinks and breaking up the locals.” He smiles, “As for yesterday... Lisa just doesn’t understand rats, they freak her out. Fear makes that woman meaner than a badger sometimes, says a lot of stuff she doesn’t mean until it’s too late.”
Ah, least Dean wasn’t grossed out or scared about rats or bothered even by his job for that matter.
“How are the rats you got? Page and Plant right? Are they adjusting well?”
Dean’s face lights up and Castiel can’t help but smile with him.
Dean is like the sun after a long rainstorm.
“Now there is a subject I can talk about probably all day,” Dean says and once again Castiel finds himself admiring the warmth of Dean’s fingers against his own across the table top playfully.
Content and definitely full of beer, Castiel is convinced the burgers might actually be the best thing he’s ever eaten in his entire life at this present moment in time. Hell, maybe even better than the sex he’s had to date. There was something about the way they were grilled just the right way, full of melted cheese and crisp smoky flavoured bacon, the toppings fresh and crisp. Dean could probably get whatever he wanted out of Castiel if he bought him lunch like this every day and he wasn’t even ashamed to admit it.At least to himself.Now on a second piece of homemade cherry pie that Dean insisted they have, and share, Castiel is not only buzzed but he is also so full, he may not even have to eat for days. As the caps hit the table when the same red-headed waitress hands Dean more beer, the foam releasing with a hiss, Castiel wonders how well he can actually hold his liquor despite this being his idea in the first place.
“So we’ve covered basically all the usual boring stuff. The real question, though, is what do you watch on television when unwinding?” Dean asks and now Castiel can feel the heat rising to his face.
Castiel chuckles nervously, “You cannot make fun of me, I mean it,” he replies, “but I totally have a thing for dramas…I really love Grey’s Anatomy.”
He finds himself sinking down into the booth a bit at that confession. Surely Dean was going to think that was very unmanly of him like others had before. It wasn’t his fault, though. Sometimes they were overly done of course, but made up lives made him feel better about his own slightly depressing existence.Looking up when Dean doesn’t reply, he is surprised to see the man’s head tilted and a small curved smile pulling at the corners of Dean’s mouth. “So, chick flicks and rom-coms, huh? Then I guess we have a bit of a problem.”
Castiel frowns. He was afraid of that. After all, Dean was like a walking wet dream of masculinity and practically oozed ‘ladies man’ without realizing it.
“I…what kind of problem?” Castiel tries not to look concerned, or let his disappointment show as he thumbs the neck of the bottle, breaking apart the condensation.
“McDreamy? Or McSteamy?”
Castiel blinks. “Excuse me?”
Dean’s smile gets a little wider, his eyes practically gleaming with mischief.
“McDreamy or McSteamy? Which doctor gets your engine revving?” Dean winks, and now Castiel is pretty sure his face is as red as the leftover cherry filling on their empty plates. He always thought himself a bit geeky, especially when it came to television shows that made him want more from life. Dean, however, might be a whole other level of geek.
“McDreamy,” he answers sheepishly and Dean begins to laugh. Loudly, in fact, and Castiel wrinkles his nose at him.
“Sorry!” Dean manages through a laugh, “Sorry, just your face when you said that. It’s cute.”
Castiel buries his face in his hands with a groan and Dean chuckles once more. “Aww, come on, Cas. Don’t be like that! I asked a question and got an honest answer. For the record, I’m a McSteamy fan. Always did like a bad boy, myself. You, however, could give Dempsey a run for his money.”
“Pfft, and elephants can fly, Dean. Now you’re just being ridiculous,” Castiel grumbles pink-faced, “Though I am already buzzed and am probably going to relate to Meredith by the time this is all over with anyway…” He rolls his eyes and lifts the bottle for another sip. “Though I can say this is definitely far better than the Friday afternoon I imagined.”
As Castiel chugs down another large gulp, Dean is definitely watching him as he does so. Castiel lifts an eyebrow at him and Dean clears his throat.
“Spock or Kirk?” Dean asks and Castiel shakes his head.
“Like there is any contest. Spock.” A smile forms on his lips as he answers before countering with, “Picard or Data?”
“Oh, come on, Cas. At least make it a challenge! Picard all the way,” Dean replies, raising his beer like the question offended him and it’s Castiel’s turn to start laughing.
“Okay, okay. First Doctor, then, if you have one. Though, if you don’t know what a TARDIS is, I suppose that gives me an advantage with nearly 56 years of geek knowledge you do not have.”
Dean scoffs, “Please. Of course,
I know what a TARDIS is, Cas. You can’t just leave out one of the oldest sci-fi shows running. I have two favourites, actually. Ten, because hello?! The man is AWEsome! And Eleven, mostly because he reminds me of the nerdy moose I call my brother. While we’re on the topic, any chance you ‘Aim To Misbehave’, hmm?” Dean’s eyebrows waggle and Castiel is definitely falling for the man and it isn’t just the beer.
“Anyone who does not know at this point doesn’t deserve their geek title. Firefly is the biggest television robbery since before Sherlock took forever to come back!” Castiel insists hotly, “And of course I aim to misbehave. Play your cards right and I might even find a bunk with you at this rate.”
Dean nearly snorts beer out his nose, coughing between his laughter, “Jeezus, Cas! Warn a guy next time!” he chokes out, and Castiel feels a little proud as he hands over a napkin. Dean wipes his face and shirt off before shaking his head. “I gotta say, people do not usually go so hard on the geek thing. It’s nice to avoid the boring stuff, skip the politics and have a conversation with someone who just gets it, ya know?” Castiel smirks but nods as he eyes the level of beer left in his bottle.
“I’m afraid I am full of it. Guess it happens when you get bored and stuck in a 9-5 kind of rut.” He shrugs, “Thank you, though, for today, Dean. It’s been fun. Really.”
Castiel licks his lips as they lock eyes. Dean doesn’t break eye contact as he finishes his beer and sets it down on the sealed oak table top. “Well, share away, Cas, and I hear you on the whole ‘stuck in a rut’ thing. Had a bit of a dry spell in more than one way, honestly. It was refreshing to find someone easy to read who was just as curious or interested as I was right out of the gate. It’s easier when everyone’s on the same page,” he confesses, and the butterflies in Castiel’s stomach explode into a frenzy.
A comfortable silence falls between them as Castiel finishes his beer as Dean stacks the plates for the waitress to remove. Once again their eyes meet and Castiel wishes he could memorize all the different worlds he sees in the green of Dean’s eyes.
“What do you say, Cas. Wanna meet my rats?”
Castiel begins to laugh full-heartedly, “Now there’s a pick-up line I can get behind. Yes, Dean. I would love to meet your rats.”
Dean tosses some bills onto the table as Castiel wobbles for a moment when he stands, snickering at himself as Dean helps him with his coat.
“Guess we need to call a cab, hmm?” he mumbles, and Dean reaches for him.
"Not at all, come on!" Taking Castiel’s hand, Dean leads him through the kitchen of the bar, nearly missing the stack of produce waiting on the corner of the counter. Confused as he is dragged along, stumbling a few times, Castiel sees Dean wave to the people working behind them who seem un-phased.
“Y'all know where I am. Don’t burn my bar down while I’m gone and just remember who writes your paychecks!” The large metal door slams shut behind them, the realization that he just sat all afternoon in the booth with Dean finally sinking in.
Outside, the sky is bluer than Cas has ever seen it despite the afternoon fading into evening. It's hard to believe the city and it share the same space as it stretches out uncluttered by buildings and people. The air is crisp and before them lays hundreds of sunflowers that sway ever so gently. Dean seems to lean into his space, their arms brushing.
“Farmhouse is just through this field. Got anything against first date romantic strolls?” Castiel leans his head against Dean’s shoulder, unsure he can make the walk on his own and squeezes his hand. Dean playfully bumps his hip into Castiel’s as they walk, both of them relaxed. Castiel cannot seem to recall ever doing this with someone before.
Reaching the field, there’s a well-worn path Castiel can see now as Dean reaches over and plucks one of the large flowers gently. He holds it out to Castiel sweetly, eyes gleaming in the late sun. He cannot remember ever experiencing a date like this one, where time just escaped them like nothing and despite being strangers, something felt familiar. Castiel inhales the scent of the yellow giants and melts a little.
He never would have thought sunflowers could be romantic.
“It makes your eyes so blue,” Dean whispers softly “They were the first thing I noticed when I saw you. Everything else was just...I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe it’s the beer talking, but Cas, I really think you’re someone I need to get to know better…” Dean rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, Castiel stares at the center of the flower, its patterns and colour.
And maybe it was the beer, but Castiel lays a kiss ever so gently to the corner of Dean’s mouth as his heart beats against his breast like thunder. Dean seems shocked, but he tucks Castiel under his arm as they begin to walk through the flowers again despite it.
“I think you're someone I need to know better, too...” Castiel says softly, and somehow as they approach the sweet, inviting porch of Dean’s home, he means it even more than he did before.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“This is it, home sweet home,” Dean says, breaking the silence as they walk the worn dirt path, elbows brushing the leaves gently as Castiel leans into Dean’s bicep, content.
Castiel admits, as he takes in the Kansas farmhouse before him, that the older design and color scheme surprise him. Climbing the stairs past the sunflowers that welcome them, it’s quite obvious that Dean has put a lot of time into the old house. The design is sweet in a way and when the screen door gives a small creak as Dean opens it, it feels homey somehow. Castiel admires the blue siding as Dean ushers him inside.
“After you. It’s not much but she’s home. If you find anything incriminating laying around, I plead the fifth.”
Castiel chuckles as Dean closes the door. He is immediately greeted by the scent of apples as the sunlight through the windows gives the house a feeling of immediate warmth. It’s quiet, unlike Castiel’s apartment building at times, though it was better to have a roof over his head than not have one at all. As he looks around, admiring the open concept of the kitchen and dining room and the way the hardwood shines into the living room where he can hear scuffling, Castiel briefly feels envious. His place was so small compared to just this floor, let alone the rest of the house. Removing his coat, he hangs it on the wooden rack where Dean places his own.
“Judging by the state of your place, Dean, I would find it hard to believe you would carelessly leave anything laying around,” Castiel offers, “though, I guess if you planned on bringing me here in the first place that could be it as well…Were you afraid I would judge you on your porn collection or something? Cause anyone who says they don’t have some form of porn somewhere is lying.”
Dean laughs and shakes his head, “Nah, porn’s put away, since you asked, and I try not to let things get too messy. It’s easier to let the boys out.” Dean walks towards a large stainless steel fridge, “Can I get you anything? I’ve got a few sodas, some beer, coffee, tea, maybe some whiskey from when Sammy came home last?” He turns to face Castiel with a devious grin, “And since you mentioned it, what kind of porn?”
Castiel snorts, shaking his head, “What if I told you I didn’t have any?”
“I would have to say you are full of shit,” Dean replies, and Castiel admires his ‘no bullshit, no beat around the bush’ approach to their conversations. “So what is it? Anime, basic guy on guy, lesbians, or is it threesomes, since you still have not told me anything about the big bag of drugs yet?”
“If that’s where this conversation is headed, then whiskey--but you have to promise me you won’t ghost me when tonight is over, once you do know.” Castiel stands a bit stiffer, “Though, if it does make you want to, at least tell me before we exchange numbers so I don’t wait for a text that never comes...” His voice is quieter now but as he faces Dean, even with all the beer, his stomach gives a nervous flutter regardless.
Dean seems to look him up and down, but he nods, and as he pours the golden liquid into crystal tumblers over ice, Castiel realizes he’s holding his breath. It leaves him in a rush when Dean hands him the glass, and to his surprise leaves a kiss against the top of his forehead. Gentle. Soft.
Castiel feels grounded.
“If my divorce taught me anything, it’s that dating is hard, I don’t imagine anyone is ever perfect. You have my word, Cas. It doesn’t leave this room.” Dean lifts Castiel’s chin to raise his eyes upwards, away from Dean’s freckles and moving lips. For a single moment, Castiel closes his eyes, steadies himself. His grip tightens around his glass.
Castiel can feel his heart inside his throat…waiting.
Their noses brush together, Dean’s eyelashes flutter against Castiel’s brow when it furrows in confusion. “I’m not afraid of scars, Cas. I’ve got some, too.” He gently pulls away the bandage on Cas’ cheek, kissing it gently where the adhesive tugged. A part of Castiel can’t help but frown at that, the sad tone that layers those words despite his seemingly sweet nature.
Castiel shifts to touch their noses together, “Where do you want me to start?” he asks, and Dean tugs his sleeve, moving them towards the living room.
In the warmth of the setting sun, Castiel lets Dean lead him to the leather couch. He unlatches the cage as the boys watch him curiously, their small pink ears wider than their bodies. Dean gives Castiel a reassuring smile as he sits at the opposite end of the couch. Castiel sips at his drink, watching the boys slowly approach the opening.
Castiel lets his mind wander back to college as the regret and guilt sit heavy in his chest.
“I’m an addict, Dean. I’m--I’m clean now but, even despite sobriety, it’s always there...” Castiel avoids eye contact and sighs heavily. Something inside of him feels twisted, the memory of trusting someone and being betrayed always making him bitter. “My first boyfriend, Balthazar, got me hooked on all kinds of things. It didn’t take long to stop attending classes in college in favour of him and his favourite treats."
Dean shifts and Castiel cannot bring himself to look anywhere but the floor. He momentarily chews his lip, wondering about what Dean will think when he really knows. "Somewhere along the line, we met this girl at a party who could never get my name right. She was, honestly, something else... changed my life as I knew in more than one way. I think she was my first love, you could say.” His posture sags under the weight of that, remembering her laugh and her wild side. The dark thorny beauty of her spirit, the heavy gaze of her dark eyes. The rats begin to chase each other.
Cas feels about as big as they are. “Next thing I know we’re always together, the three of us, and suddenly one thing lead to another...” Castiel swirls his drink, face twisting in disgust as warmth spreads through his shoulder. Dean invades his space quietly, comforting him and urging him forward as his fingers squeeze his shoulder. There is a pregnant pause between them as one of the rats skitters onto the coffee table.
“Cas?” Dean’s voice sounds far away despite his breath against Castiel’s cheek. He swallows the memory that surfaces.
“One day some guy busts down my door looking for the cocaine Balthazar stole from her, that she had stolen from the rather large, angry guy in my apartment. Zar had skipped town and she-she just left a goodbye note before she disappeared as well. The last thing I remember was the chair this guy decided to beat me with before everything went black...” Castiel closes his eyes, swallowing back the glass like a shot. The ice clatters as he sets it down on the oak table, unmindful of leaving a ring. The sound it makes echoes like a gunshot in his ears.
“Jeezus, Cas...” Dean’s face looks paler when Castiel finally dares to look, finally feels brave enough to see the disgust he figures is front and center. It makes Dean's eyes more olive in the fading sunlight, his freckles more dominant and glaring. Castiel wonders if for each beat of his heart if the earth’s spin is slowing.Dean is just staring at him, unreadable and still. He takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words to explain the rest of it.
“I woke up in the hospital nearly a week later with Lucifer and Gabriel there playing checkers. My jaw was wired shut, my legs full of steel rods and pins, my face an angry purple mess. I was missing a fair bit of my teeth and had a lot of stitches too. My arm was casted and I’d had surgery to fix some internal bleeding because my right rib nearly punctured a lung...” Castiel stares at his hands as he falls silent, thumb stroking his other hand nervously in an effort to calm the maelstrom of emotions swelling just beneath the surface.The room feels unbearably heavy, thick with awkwardness.
Dean clears his throat after a lifetime, “I’m sorry…and they just got away with it?” Dean asks, anger obviously laced under his question. Castiel nods, fidgeting.
Dean suddenly covers Cas' hands with his own. “I got fined, but luckily because of who Lucifer knew, was not arrested. I was quietly let go from my studies with the help of the family lawyer as everyone agreed to me receiving counselling and attending rehab etc. So…I came to Lawrence, here with my brother Gabriel. The plan was Gabe would give me a job, and they all reported my activities in therapy and rehab. I had a curfew, little space to wander. After a few years I was given my freedom, my own space, and I just never got out of the rut since. I’ve tried mind you--but this is usually where after several dates or my ‘fall into bed and get to know one another’ situations inevitably falls apart. Nobody wants to be with someone who could maybe one day fall off the wagon or something...” He shrugs, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Dean is quiet. Castiel watches the rats and waits, tries not to gag on his anxiety as he angerly wipes frustrated tears from his eyes to stop them from welling.
Somewhere in the house a clock chimes to disrupt the silence.
“Cas?”
Here it comes. Castiel realizes.
This is it.
Dean kicks back the rest of his whiskey, his cup set beside the one Castiel discarded. On the table the rats seem to cuddle together, watching them both with their dark chocolate eyes.
Telling that story never seemed to get any easier.
“Can I kiss you?” Dean asks, voice almost whispery.
Castiel turns his head in shock, confusion, only to already be nose to nose again with the man who just probably got more than he ever anticipated.
This close together all Castiel can see are freckles, so many perfectly placed freckles. It’s almost like looking at the night sky on a clear night. Neverending, breathtaking.
Beautiful.
"I..." Castiel searches Dean's face. He doesn't know what to say.
“I’m sorry that people are assholes, but it means I get to be the one that asks, ‘Cas, can I kiss you?’”
Castiel goes rigid, whispering, “Why?”
Dean gently pulls his hand away from Castiel’s to cup his cheek and thumbs at his cheekbones. “I’m going to show you that I’m not going to turn into a ghost.”
Castiel tilts his head, but as the words finally click he cannot help but blush furiously. The taffy colour of his skin is nearly visible in the reflection of Dean’s eyes, so Castiel nods.
There’s a moment of tranquillity strangely enough, before Dean’s lips land on his. They are soft and gentle, and Castiel feels something transcendent click into place, settle deep into his bones.
It feels like he’s finally come home again after a long haul, peaceful despite the storm he was before. Cas surrenders himself to it and leans forward, closing his eyes while Dean does the same.
Time seems to stop as Castiel melts when Dean’s fingers gently move through the back of his hair, his own fingers tracing the collar of Dean’s t-shirt. He can’t remember the last time someone kissed him like this. If ever.
Dean groans as the kiss deepens, and Castiel starts realizing he needs air just as something suddenly runs up his back and onto the top of his head. They break apart in surprise before Dean gives an uncontrollable laugh like a wheeze.
“Never been blocked on account of a rat before...” Castiel says, both rats now atop his hair happily, his face still warm as he licks his lips. Dean practically preens as he scoops up Page and Plant to put them away, chuckling inwardly as Cas rubs at the back of his neck.
“Would you like another drink?” Dean asks, and Castiel glances at the clock. Worst-case scenario, he supposes, is that Lucifer would come to grab him if he couldn’t get a cab.
“You have to show me some of your big bad scars, too,” Castiel smirks, “Only fair after that, don’t you think?”
Dean grabs for their glasses, lowering himself to face Castiel head on. “Does that mean I get a kiss, too?” he teases. Castiel leans forward and taps the empty glass, making Dean look disappointed when their lips do not meet.
“Pour the drink, barkeep, and we’ll talk”
Standing in the kitchen as he places the bottle back down, Dean cannot help but text Charlie as he finds it hard to stop smiling.
Cute and charming.
Charlie’s reply is nearly immediate as Dean drops more ice into the crystal tumbler, the sound resonating off the pale kitchen cupboards.
Let me know when I have to sing to Benny like he is Pumba at the end of “Can you feel the love tonight.”
Dean smiles as he heads back towards Castiel, finding him quietly talking to the little dumbo rats inside the cage. As they kiss Castiel’s fingers through the bars, seeming to trust him already, Dean can’t help the feeling that swells inside his chest.
Who would’ve known that a man with a love of rats would make Dean Winchester the star of his own chick-flick?
Castiel looks up as Dean sets the refilled glasses upon the table top. He tilts his head in a way Dean can’t help but find slightly endearing.
“What?” Castiel asks, eyes narrowing as Dean’s smile widens.
“I was just thinking that there’s something about you that makes me feel like maybe I’m about to end up in a chick flick pretty soon,” he states, and Castiel promptly snorts.
“Please. If real life were like that, we would hastily finish this drink, and like all repetitive romantic tropes, fall into bed together in a heated, lustful haze.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to fall into bed with me?” Castiel quickly shuts his mouth as Dean grins, “Well, that is a bit disappointing if you don’t then because I would certainly fall into bed with you.”
Castiel clears his throat before reaching over and snatching his drink off the coffee table.
“I believe you owe me one of your big bad scars before that can even be a possibility,” he snarks gaily, “But that isn’t a yes just because you do…”
Dean narrows his eyes, “You’re really gonna make a guy pull out all the stops, aren’t you?”
Castiel gulps his drink, trying to look anywhere but at Dean. Shaking his head with amusement, Dean grabs his glass and settles onto the vacant couch with a shrug. Several moments pass as Castiel sits waiting on Dean's next move.
What Dean says next however obviously twists Castiel's insides, the look on his face a dead give away.
“My folks died when I was about 13. Police report says bad weather caused the collision. Sam and I were left to Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bobby. The therapist I had to go and see said that I was ‘struggling to cope’. I say I just didn’t wanna dwell on it if I didn’t have to...” Dean stares into his drink, the light reflecting through the glass as Castiel visibly frowns.
“My apologies, I didn’t mean--” Dean holds his hand up to cut Castiel off abruptly.
Thankfully, he complies. Dean contemplates where to start after that. How do you summarize the worst years of your life, the ones spent in teenage angst, lost to a world that felt like he had been spat on, punished for so long because he didn't have what everyone else did.
“On the anniversary of their death when I was 16, moping around, I found the car in the back of Bobby’s salvage yard. Never noticed it there, somehow, never thought to look I guess…but it was like flipping a switch. I just ... shattered, let go, smashed it with a crowbar till I couldn’t lift it anymore. I just screamed, cried. I wasn't okay, it was like being possessed. I just wished it could do something to fix it all."
Rubbing a hand down his face, Dean clears his throat awkwardly. He pauses, tapping his foot anxiously “We never talked about it again oddly enough. Never saw another shrink neither.”
With a deep breath, Dean swigs another taste of the golden liquor, his lips smacking together. Castiel rubs at his nose, a sniffing sound obvious. A tick Dean realizes. The clock chimes again. It feels like it passes in hours rather than seconds to Dean, especially as he studies Cas' gaze, the weight of it zeroed in on the glass he is holding.
“That same night Bobby woke me from my bed, dragged my teenage angsty ass out to the garage and pulled the tarp off of the Impala, off my Baby. Told me that Dad always said he was gonna pass her on to me when I got my license, help me fix her up...” Dean’s eyes close as he swallows, remembering the feeling of touching her for the first time after it all had gone to shit.
Castiel places a hand on Dean's knee.
“She’s so much more than just a car, and not everyone gets that…but I think you do...” Dean trails off, and the way his chest sits, the way Cas' breath seems to catch--he hopes he's right. And maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s one too many cheesy plot lines lining up or just a sheer lack of judgement, but something inside of him gives way as a single tear falls down the side of his face.
He may not have had to see another shrink, but sometimes it still hurts.
Getting up from the floor, Castiel ignores the protesting crack of his knee, the one that gets Dean's attention as he places his glass down. Dean’s eyes close only when Castiel’s fingers pry the glass from his own, a brilliant hue of azure and something like the deepest oceans reading him like an open book.
Dean tilts his head back slightly before Castiel closes in.
He doesn’t ask for permission, and for that Dean is grateful when their lips come together. He leans back into the couch, an invitation, as Castiel presses into him, knees on either side of him where they meet, his hand cupping Dean’s face and softly tracing his freckles. Dean’s hands are warmer than when they were intertwined before, tingling as one hand takes Castiel’s free one into his own. Dean gently strokes the other through Castiel’s hair as if it belonged there.
They break apart-breathless and squeezing one another's fingers like a lifeline. It's all that's holding them above angst-ridden waters and that familiar lonely ache they know the other understands. Castiel leans his forehead to Dean’s, closing his eyes to steady the obvious state of inebriation sneaking up on him. It makes Dean feel trusted.
“I should have asked, but--” Castiel stills when Dean’s finger silences him once more.
“If you kissed me like that again, you would never need to ask, Cas...”
So Castiel kisses Dean’s finger before pushing it away to kiss Dean a second time.
And a third.
Then again, and again till Dean's lost count and cannot tell his own body from the man's above him between layers of cotton and denim.
It doesn’t take long before they fall against Dean’s mattress in a series of kisses between the shuffling of feet and trying to avoid falling into walls or tripping up the stairs on the way there.
Dean rolls them over, Castiel’s face barely lit from the open curtains as the stars begin to decorate the sky. Dean lets his alcohol fuzzy brain take over, pressing his newly found companion into the memory foam, pinning him and yet at the same time clinging to him.
Thankfully, Castiel doesn’t protest as he allows it and does the very same in return.