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Wade was exhilarated.(I can’t wait to see Nate’s face when he sees us!)[I admit that I am quite curious as well. He will probably gag.](That’s mean! We’re hotter than a Hot Pocket.)“Shuddup guys, you’re ruining the moment!” Wade shouted as he rematerialized in Providence.“Wade?” Cable said, laying the file he was reading onto his desk. His mismatched eyes quickly flicked over the merc’s suit. “Why are you dressed like Black Cat?”(He totally checked us out! Jackpot!)[Calm down, he barely even looked at us.]Wade sat seductively on top of the mutant’s desk, ignoring the undignified squeak that the black latex made.(This can’t be practical. How does she even fight in this?!)[Comic artists don’t care, as long as we see her curves.](That’s misogynistic.)[Damn straight.]“Catwoman’s ripoff lost a bet. The stakes were I got to wear her suit for a night,” Wade explained proudly.Nate squinted at him, nose scrunched up, which ought to be illegal. “Why?”(Is he kidding?)“I agree with the white box here, why do you think I clad my devilishly handsome silhouette in a tight-fitting, black latex suit and came to see you late at night?”Nate sighed, reclining on his chair. “Wade, I’ve had a long day so please, for once in your life, get to the point.”[For a politician, he can be really dumb.](Agreed.)Wade took a deep breath in before he exhaled, “Ithoughtyoudbeintoitandfuckmehardonyourdesk. There, out in the open!”Nate just blinked at him. In his defense, he did look exhausted. “Sorry, Wade, I am not ‘into it’. And I prefer leather, for the record.”[Duly noted.]“Because it’s more ecological or some shit? Wait, this doesn’t make sense, leather comes from cows and cow farts are responsible for global warming, aren’t they?!”(We should eat more burgers, then! Save the world!!!)Nate pinched the bridge of his nose like he was having a migraine.[Common Deadpool side-effect.]“Wade, I have an important meeting with government representatives tomorrow morning and I still have some notes to go over. So if you’d please excuse me…”Outraged, the merc watched his friend-with-benefits turn his attention back to the file and promptly forget about his very presence.[Told you this plan was gonna go sideways.](But we’re still horny… how could he do that to us?!)“Fine. Mind if I make myself comfortable?” Wade said as he jumped off the desk and walked to the couch, swaying his hips, because what else were you supposed to do when you wore heels that high?“Not at all.”The merc repeated Nate’s response in a mocking tone and took off the heels. Then he unzipped the latex suit and shimmied out of it, peeking playfully over his shoulder as he did so.Yep, the Jesus wannabe asshole was still ignoring him.(Come on, we’re nakey, that usually causes a reaction in people!)[Yeah. Fight or flight response, with a side of puking.]“Time to up the motherfuckin’ ante,” Wade muttered through gritted teeth.He sat on the couch and grabbed his cock, jerking it until he was fully hard. It did take some time because he wasn’t used to doing this in someone’s company and also because rejection turned out to be a mood killer.Shocker.Nate finally looked up at him when he heard him spit on his hand; his lips parted slightly at the sight of the merc sprawled on his couch, moaning softly as he touched himself.The mutant seemed to hesitate between staring and quickly averting his gaze.(Aww, bless his soul.)[He has no idea we’re doing this for him.]Wade smirked and lay down across the couch, head in Nate’s direction. Then he rolled on his shoulder blades and lifted his ass up in the air, so that his erection was basically bobbing a few inches away from his face.He spread his legs further apart with his hands and sucked on the tip on his dick, very aware of how pornographic his position looked from Nate’s perspective.Sure enough, he heard the mutant’s breath catch in his throat. “Fuck, Wade…”Wade smiled around his dick and moaned in victory.(We got him!!!)His heart started beating even faster when he heard the Messiah leave his desk and walk towards him. And suddenly he was in his field of vision, eyes raking all over his scarred body like he was a piece of art, and not a freaky burn victim folded like a pretzel.[He does look like a saint, towering above us like that, with the light crowning his head.](He’s so handsome!)Wade let go of his cock and wiggled his butt. “Got time for me, now, Priscilla?” He looked at the impressive bulge in Nate’s pants, licking his lips. “Ooh, not only time, I gather.”“Damn you,” Nate rumbled as he unbuckled his belt and pulled himself out of his pants. He gave his thick cock a few strokes while he let his metal hand wander on the underside of Wade’s thigh, all the way up to the dip of his ass, circling his fluttering hole.A shiver travelled down Wade’s spine.(That feels good.)[But we know what feels even better.]“In a lame reversal of roles, I am now the one begging you to get to the point, the point you’re currently playing with,” Wade breathed, voice raspier than expected.Nate pressed hard on Wade’s ass, forcing the merc’s dick back into his mouth. “Quiet. I’ll fuck you soon enough.”[Well, if that didn’t go straight to our cock.](I’m feeling dizzy!)[It’s the position. There’s too much blood in our brain.]Worth it, Wade thought, closing his eyes and hollowing his cheeks.He jumped when lube was poured directly onto his hole. Nate really wasn’t joking about the ‘soon’ part.(Cold!!!)A finger breached the rim, turning the merc’s complaint into a gargle. Nate smirked and grabbed Wade’s ass to turn him a bit on the couch so that his head was now pressed against the backrest.Then the mutant opened him quickly and efficiently, like he always did. Carefully avoiding Wade’s prostate, because he was a sadistic bastard who wanted Wade to wait and come on his cock, and nothing else.(We like it, though.)[Indeed.]When he deemed him ready, Nate lined himself up and teased Wade by sliding his cock right past his hole, again and again. The merc was fully shaking by now, both from anticipation and strain, his nails digging into his own thighs. Without his healing factor, keeping this position for so long would have been impossible.But just because he could stand it didn’t meant he wanted to.So he craned his neck to look up at Nate through his eyelashes, mouth still working lazily around his own dick. Nate understood the silent prayer and pushed on the head of his cock with two fingers until it sank into Wade’s ass.The merc’s eyes rolled toward the back of his skull as he groaned loudly, almost biting down on himself. Nate gripped the backrest with both hands and immediately started thrusting into Wade in earnest, which was a new and exciting thing; he usually waited ages for Wade to adjust.[I think we broke him.](Best day ever.)Nate was staring down at him, snarling and grunting like a wild animal as he fucked Wade mercilessly, his massive figure bent over him like a dome of tanned flesh and techno-organic virus. The angle made searing hot pleasure coil in his guts, rapidly nearing release.It couldn’t get much better, or so Wade thought, until Nate slid his flesh hand around his throat and squeezed hard, cutting his oxygen.The merc coughed and teared up, feeling as if he was choking on his own cock.And that did it for him.He came with a muffled sob, swallowing every squirt as saliva dribbled down his chin and onto Nate’s hand.The mutant cursed and followed not long after, hands moving around Wade’s waist to keep him there as he emptied himself into him with a growl, head dropping forward.As soon as they were both able to breathe again, Nate gingerly pulled out and helped Wade unfold himself. He laid him down on the couch like he weighed nothing and put a cushion behind his head. Honestly, Wade would have mocked him for it if his brain wasn’t so sluggish.“God, my head is so silent. I think you’ve fucked the boxes right outta me.”Nate chuckled, grabbing a couple of tissues to clean both Wade and him. “Is that a good thing?”“I dunno.”Something close to worry crossed the mutant’s face and he sat down close to him. Luckily, the couch was large enough to accommodate its oversized owner.“You can sleep here if you want,” Nate said as he gently stroked Wade’s left cheekbone.“How’d you guess I’m sleepy?” he slurred.“Your eyes are closed and you’re leaning into my hand.”“… Fair enough.”(His palm is so warm…)[Maybe if we ask him he’ll agree to cuddle?]Wade cursed. “They’re back. Guess you’ll have to fuck me again.”Nate laughed before he kissed his forehead, which totally didn’t make butterflies swarm in the merc’s stomach.“Good night, Wade."