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The first time Sasha kisses Nicke isn’t like it is in the movies. Time doesn’t stop and it isn’t soft, or timid, or gentle. The first time Sasha kisses Nicke, it’s sharp, and demanding, and clumsy, and perfect.Sasha could have kisses like the ones in the movies if he wanted, but that would mean kissing someone that isn’t Nicke, and he’s done more of that in his lifetime than he cares to acknowledge. He’d rather have Nicke and his sharp little teeth and sweaty curls any day of the week.Kissing Nicke is a lot, and Sasha likes to think he's prepared every time he does it, but he never is. There are moments where Sasha just breathes him in when it’s over, their foreheads pressed together and eyes closed because neither of them can find the strength to open them. There are moments, usually when Sasha is trying to go out for a run or to meet friends for lunch, where Sasha will lean in and give him a soft kiss goodbye only to be delayed because he has to devour him before he can leave. There are even moments where Sasha doesn’t go at all, because Nicke’s eyes are glassy and his voice is hoarse when they finish and he can’t bear the thought of leaving. Sasha likes to pretend that he's sorry when his friends are upset about it, but they've never seen his Nicke all soft around the edges, so they don't understand. Sasha is never sorry.Kissing Nicke is fun. Nicke’s curls are always knotted when Sasha sinks his fingers into them, but Nicke never minds when he pulls. Nicke’s lips are soft, almost never chapped from the cold, and when he licks them and says ‘please,’ Sasha can’t even imagine telling him no. And the sounds that Nicke makes into Sasha’s mouth while he’s backed up against their front door will never stop sounding like music. Sasha has great taste in music.The first time Sasha sees Nicke crying, it’s exactly as bad as he imagined it would be. Nicke’s not hurt or sad, just frustrated and borderline angry. He’s pink and his shoulders shake and Sasha hates it, so he takes Nicke’s face in his hands and kisses the tears off of one cheek at a time. Nicke’s so caught off guard that he chuckles, and when Sasha kisses him for real, he smiles into it. Sasha kisses Nicke's tears away every time they fall. Sometimes he manages to kiss them away before they form at all.The first time Sasha sees Nicke drunk, he’s too drunk himself to really appreciate it, and in hindsight, he thinks that's probably a travesty or blasphemy or maybe treason. The first time he’s sober enough to remember Nicke being drunk, he savors every second of every minute of it because Nicke looks so light and happy and free sitting next to Holts that his heart nearly ruptures in his chest. They're crammed into a booth that was never intended to hold half a dozen hockey players and their big asses, and Sasha just leans against the bar and stares. He doesn’t remember anything about the girl that leans against the bar beside him and asks him how long they’ve been together, but he remembers being very, very happy to claim Nicke as his. He does it loudly and in both languages, then goes and sits beside him so he can kiss his temple and drape an arm possessively over his shoulders. He’s been overly affectionate with Nicke for... well, ever, so no one even gives them a second glance.The first time Sasha realises that he wants to marry Nicke, it’s too soon. Nicke’s sleeping, wearing one of Sasha’s sweatshirts with the sleeves pulled down over his hands. The strings are still wet from being chewed on, and his curls are sticking out all over his pillow, and he’s snoring quietly, but Sasha doesn’t even hesitate to roll over on top of him and wake him up.“Should marry me, Nicke,” he says as Nicke blinks himself awake. He doesn’t expect Nicke to say yes and he doesn’t, he just shoves at Sasha with both hands until he’s on his back again and curls up against his side. Sasha lets himself be a used as a pillow, holds onto Nicke like he’s a teddy bear, and closes his eyes.The first time Sasha actually asks Nicke to marry him—for real—he doesn’t have a ring. They’re standing in his—their—kitchen, and he can hear his Mama in the other room, mumbling about how she’s picked up the blanket Nicke likes to snuggle up in on the couch four times and she doesn’t understand what’s so hard about folding it up. Sasha knows that she only says it because she thinks he’s the one leaving it. He knows that if he told her it was Nicke, she’d smile fondly and then tell him he should pick up after his Kolya. Sasha knows that Nicke is her favourite. Nicke is his favourite too.“Marry me, Nicke,” Sasha says again. Nicke’s biting into a strawberry with his head half in the refrigerator, but he doesn’t seem surprised by it. He tosses the leafy bit of his strawberry in the sink and walks over to tuck himself against Sasha’s chest, head tilted back expectantly. Sasha smiles and kisses his forehead, both arms coming up to wrap around his waist.“I’m sorry for leaving my blanket, Mama,” Nicke says, eyes opening just as she appears in the doorway. He smiles sheepishly and her whole face opens up. She takes Nicke out of Sasha’s arms and gives him the same kind of tight hug she gives Sasha when she sees him after a hard loss.“No problem,” she says, beaming as she kisses his forehead. She goes to the fridge and starts collecting ingredients for dinner, talking quietly to herself about what she’s going to make, and changing her mind a few times before she commits to anything. As she sits what she needs on the counter, she pushes Sasha out of her way and grabs her favourite knife, “Kolya, want to help?”And Nicke does. Sasha, predictably, is told to either sit on the bar stool and be quiet or to leave the kitchen. Sasha doesn't leave.The first time Sasha gets an answer when he asks Nicke to marry him, he has a ring. He never makes it to his knee, but he has a ring. They’re sitting in the back yard, and there’s a fire going, and Nicke looks cozy in a sweatshirt that doesn’t belong to him, and Sasha feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t ask.“Marry me, Nicke?” he says, for the third time. He reaches into the pocket of his jeans, where the little velvet box has lived since he got it, and Nicke laughs at him before he manages to get it out and prove how serious he is.“Didn’t you ask me that already? Twice?” he says, smiling with his eyes and wiggling his feet where they’re kicked up in front of him. Sasha finally gets the box out and holds it up.“I ask, but you never say anything,” he says, opening the box and sitting it on the table between them. Nicke doesn’t look at it, he just reaches down to scratch behind Blaik’s ears and smiles.“I was only ever going to say yes. I just figured you already knew,” he says softly, like Sasha’s not about to die in his chair. Blaik howls when he gets up and bends over Nicke to kiss him. Sasha understands, he feels like he could howl too.The ring was pretty in the box, but it looks magnificent on Nicke’s finger.The first time Sasha posts a picture of his fiancé's hand on his thigh, he doesn't have to tag Nicke in it for fourteen point eight million people to like it on Instagram.Nicke never actually says yes. Not even when he says "I do."