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“Hi, there! Welcome to Big Belly Burger! How may I help you?” “You know what I want. Make it fast.” Harry’s voice grumbled testily in the general direction of the intercom.
Cisco sighed. Harry had become a regular at Big Belly Burger since he first arrived on Earth-1. Cisco wasn’t sure, however, if the fast food chain’s workers cherished the business Harry brought them or dreaded his visits, maybe a combination. He watched the commotion at the pick-up booth as nervous looking employees gathered at the window. “Hi! Can I have 2 triple-triples please-- oh and a large fries!?” Cisco asked extra enthusiastically, as if to make up for Harry’s grumpiness. The worker in the box had apparently been replaced as a low male voice now rang through the intercom.“Uh... Ok w-we'll have that... uh... right up for you.”Harry said nothing in response, but Cisco leaned into the driver’s seat calling “Thanks!” as the car lurched forward, with a certian someone impatient for the arrival of his burgers.Harry had experienced over a dozen people trying to kill him during his stay on Earth-1, as they believed he was the deceased, so-called murderer, Harrison Wells from Earth-1 who was actually... his body had been taken over by― it was very confusing. Despite the danger, Harry refused to use any viable form of disguise apart from a black baseball cap. The first time they had come to this particular Big Belly Burger the worker had nervously remarked Harry looked “just like that Wells guy from the news” to this Harry grumbled his usual “I get that a lot” and that was that, but by now the workers were… ummm... you could say…. used to him?With Harry death-staring the window, Cisco observed a frenzy of action take place before his eyes as the workers franctically rushed to get the pair’s order ready. Harry didn’t just order one hamburger how it came. On top of his “non-burger items", he ordered two different burgers combining several options from the menu, each with at least 2 separate patties and a multitude of other ingredients from lettuce to a strange mayo sauce mix. According to Harry, his combos were options at his local Earth-2 Big Belly Burgers, but Cisco suspected this might be only partly true.Harry was not. Fun. To be around when he was hungry, especially waiting in line at the ol’ B3. He was extremely picky about his order, meaning that any new employees were immediately taught how to prepare the Harry burgers… or else.One worker now begrudging came up to the window. "Carlos," his name tag read, a young-ish guy who always seemed peer pressured into serving Harry and Cisco.“Th-that will be 10.39”“I know how much.” Harry groused handing the man (pre-prepped) exact change and thrusting out his hand for the bag.He took out each item, giving each a careful examination, an extra leaf of lettuce or slightly over melted cheese and Big Belly Burger would be demanded a refund. Carlos nervously awaited Harry’s verdict.“Fine.” Harry said flatly, rolling up the window.“Thank you so much!” Cisco gushed trying to make amends for Harry (Harry wasn’t going to do it himself) “I’m so sorry for―...” Cisco gestured toward Harry as the window shut definitively. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “Harry!” Cisco scolded“What?”“You could be a little nicer to the workers of your favorite… thing ever!”“I told them the food was ‘fine’” Harry said as if that justified everything.“Fine isn’t exactly high praise Harry and--”“According to the 4th edition New Oxford American Dictionary― Your Earth’s. Fine denotes―”“You know what you need,” Cisco said brightly, a brilliant idea had just struck him. “You need to work on your social skills right…” Cisco wasn’t really asking. Harry grumbled something incomprehensible in response.“Soooooo... In an effort to aid Harry’s social skills, I hereby commence Lesson 1 in Social Interactions 101!”“Too many 1’s” Harry muttered.“Not the point. Harry!” Cisco shot back. “Lesson 1: Please and Thank you.”“Ramon I don’t need your childish lessons, give me my burgers”“Aha! You didn’t say please” Cisco declared triumphantly “See saying please and thank you doesn’t seem like much but it really makes a difference in your communication”“You sound like my mother. Burgers now.”“If you use the contents of Lesson 1, I will allow you to eat your food but until then… your burgers are getting co-old…”“Ramon. Burgers…” Harry winced like the next word was going to be extremely painful. “...pl-please” Harry mumbled.“Congratulations!” Cisco handed him the bag, still holding the edges with his fingertips. “You have passed Part 1 of your first quiz”.Cisco looked at Harry expectantly. Harry, oblivious, turned away stuffing his hands into the bag, which Cisco promptly snatched back.“Hey!”“You forgot part two...” Cisco grinned. Harry looked both frustrated and confused.“Cisco thank you so much for coming with me to Big Belly Burger and letting me eat despite my less than ideal manners” Cisco prattled dramatically, grinning.“Thank you” Harry whisper-rasped.“I can’t hear you!” Cisco was enjoying himself.“Thank you.” Harry growled, annoyed.“Okay one last try, this time no growling or whispering.”“I didn’t growl!” Cisco simply gave Harry “the look"“Thank you... Ramon” Harry rolled his eyes.Cisco sighed it looked like this was the best he was going to get. As Harry chomped ravenously on his burger, Cisco grinned “We’re going inside for Lesson 2 tomorrow!” he crowed.Harry groaned. Was Big Belly Burger worth it? Yes. He decided. It was. Cisco grinned he had found the perfect motivation.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Harry! You ready to roll for Lesson 2?”Silence, nothing but the sound of Harry’s engine as they drove across the hard asphalt.“Great! I hereby commence Lesson 2: Smile!”“Smile?” Harry huffed in disgust. He turned up the radio, if Cisco wasn’t going to be interesting he might as well occupy himself. “... You’re never fully dressed without a smile!”
Harry slammed his hand against the radio (somehow changing the song.) “Annie!” Harry muttered exasperated. “Hey! Annie is a classic! And for your information she never even sings that song that’s the other girls at the or―!” “I’m well aware”“If you’re well aware then maybe you should follow their advice!”“Easy!”“Okay then give me a ‘hi’ and your best smile.”Harry was determined at Cisco’s challenge. Of course he could smile this so called ‘lesson’ was ridiculous. “Hi, Ramone” Harry enunciated his instructed phrase. However, Harry’s face didn’t exactly resemble a smile. He was trying his best though, his lips stretched wide as he bared his teeth. Unfortunately the expression still looked more like angry dog than friendly cheerful human.“Jesse told me a few months ago that you are the best dad in the world.” Cisco said. Harry smiled. A real smile: warm, caring, fatherly…“See! Yes! That’s it!”Harry suddenly frowned. “Did you just tri―” “Yes.” Cisco quickly replied as if that wasn't important “but that was golden! Now all we have to do is figure out how to replicate it.”As the pair drove into the Big Belly Burger parking lot Cisco was ecstatic “Time to park Harry!” he sang teasingly.“I’m not. Parking. Not going in. Never.” Harry quipped matter a factly“Okay then. We’re leaving.”“You forget, I’m driving Ramone”Cisco whipped out a small controller from his pocket and with a dramatic flourish pressed a button... Harry’s car slowed to a halt.“Hey! What makes you think you could hack my car.”“I’m parking now” Cisco declared smirking. Harry groaned, defeatedly crossing his arms across his chest. ~~~~~~~~~ As Cisco jumped eagerly out of the car, Harry slowly lifted each limb, as if any movement took an enormous amount of effort. A new sign on the front door read: “
Smile! You’re at Big Belly Burger!
"Harry’s frown deepened (if that was even possible) and he flung the door open.
"Remember Harry, smile!” Cisco encouraged him in a whisper.
“Ummmm… Hi.” Harry forced a smile onto his face.
The employee who had been smiling seconds ago paled at the sight of Harry.
“Hi?” she replied unsure. “W- We have a new special…” the woman started cautiously. Harry’s forced expression was quickly turning into a frown. “My daughter will be sad when it goes, Jesse loves the new burger”
Harry’s face suddenly brightened. “... My daughter… Her name is Jesse too” He spoke clearly. “Isn’t that cool” the woman smiled thoughtfully. The moment disappeared as Harry tensed again, now embarrassed at his outburst. Cisco nudged him to speak.“Give me my usual beef patty combo and one of the new ones.” Harry said gruffly
“Don’t forget to say please!” Cisco whispered loudly in Harry’s ear. Harry gave Cisco the stink eye again but he complied adding “...please” half-heartedly.
“I’ll have 2 of the special! Thank you!”
“Okay boys I’ll have that right up”
They went outside to wait and let Harry recover.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“I’m going to call that an A-. Way to go Harry! You even made small talk that wasn’t going to be till lesson 8… Harry?”
Harry was silent, glowering at a sign on the edge of the awning.
“
Smile! You’re on camera
” (Apparently the fast food chain had increased its security after the prior zombie attack.)
“I can frown if I want!” Harry yelled at the sign. “Shhhhhh! Harry it’s okay… why don’t I go in and get the food?” No response. “You know what? You did so good I think we should start Lesson 3 on the way back…. Ummm Harry…”
“First the song, then the door, then the awning what is it with
this
Earth and
smiling
” Harry said the last words with disgust.
“Yup, you definitely need Lesson 3 on the way back to Star Labs” Cisco shook his head he smiled at the awning, at the sign on the door, humming the melody from Annie as he sauntered inside to get their burgers.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Cisco exited the building 2 minutes later, holding the burgers like a trophy over his head. “Behold!” He exclaimed theatrically. Harry whipped out of his trance immediately.“Give me my burgers.” “What’s the magic word?”“What?”“The magic word, Harry”Harry was either too focused on burgers or too “Harry” to admit he was confused, as he remained silent.“Huh? Must be an Earth-1 thing. Say the word please Harry”Harry sighed dramatically “please…” he grumbled staring at the burgers in Cisco’s hands as opposed to making eye contact. Cisco handed over the bag, and Harry promptly ripped open the red packaging to burrow for food.“...So the employees said they were out of cheddar, something about a large order, so they gave you swiss cheese on one of your burgers. I don’t exactly remember which one though…”Harry nodded vigorously, chomping noisily on his burger. He suddenly pulled back.“Wrong. This burger is wrong! Cheddar! I always get cheddar!”“Ummm… Harry?”Harry continued his rant “Cheddar! Not that weird cheese with holes! Why would anyone want cheese with holes? I’m going in!” A definite click sounded through the air. Cisco had pressed a small button on the small black video game-like controller once again. They were locked inside. ~~~~~~~~~ “Come on Ramon let me out!” Harry rasped.“Harry, I hereby commence Lesson 3: Listening”“Not now Ramon. Burgers.” Harry began messing with the lock mechanism.“What did I just tell you”“What does that matter! Come on open the―” an idea had just struck Harry, in a flash, he wrenched open the glove compartment, extracting a tiny flathead screwdriver, which he began wedging under the door handle.“Do you know what one of the most important parts of conversation is?”As Harry continued to rustle with the door there was another loud click. Harry looked relieved. He yanked at the handle, expecting the door to open. Instead, the handle snapped back hitting Harry’s hand. “Ow!” He was getting further and further annoyed.“Did you just child lock the driver’s seat?!”“Yup! Pretty cool huh?”Harry went back to his flathead.“Hey, Harry! I’ll open the door!..”Harry’s head whipped around in that instant“But first you must use Lesson 3’s content” “Ramon I already did the smile thing.”“That… was lesson 2.” Cisco tried patiently. “What have I been talking about for the last 5 minutes”“Ummmmmm… you were locking me in… bragging about your controller” Harry muttered.“I am proud of that controller.” Cisco corrected. Harry rolled his eyes. “I’ll start again. Harry, you have swiss cheese because Big Belly Burger is out of cheddar” Harry frowned “Why didn’t you just say that?” Cisco brought his hand to his forehead shaking his head. “I’ve been trying to tell you this whole― never mind. I have cheddar in my fridge at Star―”“Our fridge”Cisco ignored him “...Labs, but if you really want it, what was Lesson 3 about?” Harry went stiff in thought “you don’t always lock doors to annoy me”“Close enough. Listening, Harry. Harry if we don’t listen to each other―”“I don’t get Big Belly Burger”“Ummm… sure!” Cisco had been hoping for something deeper. His fingers flew across the black controller and the car burst to life. “Here. Truce.” Cisco handed the controller to Harry “but you have to give it back when we arrive or else it will self- destruct” He warned (it was an added safety measure). Harry nodded tucking the gadget into the food bag. Cisco shook his head once more.He hoped for Harry’s burger's sake that Harry had listened.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
This car ride wasn’t being particularly fun, as Harry was in… let’s say a bad mood. The car thrashed wildly as Harry ignored speed bumps and… was that a yellow light ahead?
“Harry…
Harry
… HARRY STOP!
The car came to sliding halt, just in time, as the light changed to red.
“What?!”
“Harry I
should not
have to give you a lesson in driving… a yellow light means slow down,
not
speed recklessly down the road!” Cisco lectured trying to keep his voice level.
“I stopped in time.”
“You stopped because― okay… let’s take a deep breath.” Cisco closed his eyes for a moment,
inhaling... 1-2-3, holding… 1-2―
“I don’t need to breathe Ramone what I need is―”
“I’m going to choose this moment to not finish that sentence. Instead I’ll say: let’s work on
this
” Cisco gestured to his grumpy companion as they drove up to B3. A familiar small controller (which desperately needed a name) was pulled out of Cisco’s pocket.
“What do you mean
this
and… fine you can park my car”
“All I mean Harry...” Cisco paused to parallel park with perfection on the side of the road, smirking “is right now your body language isn’t exactly screaming, happy and friendly”.
“It’s fine Ramone” Harry stated as the pair exited the car. “Look, I am
smiling.
Happy?” Except Harry’s hands were balled up at his side, chest puffed up, eye brows crossed.
“Not quite.” Cisco said simply. “You look kind of like you want to hurt me right now, so I might just―”
Harry softened for a moment. “No Ramone, I would never…”
But now Harry was pouting, because yes, it was definitely possible for a 50-something-year-old man to pout.
“Arms crossed, poor posture, slumping against the wall… Harry you don’t exactly seem open to... well anything right now.”
Harry begrudging stood up straight as they began walking toward good ol’ Big Belly Burger. “Then what am I supposed to do! If I have too much energy you tell me I look mad… too little and I’m sad”
“Ha! You rhymed.”
“Not helpful.”
“Right.. Uh, stand up straight, arms at your side…” They were only a few feet away from the entrance. “But not too stiff, relax your body”
Harry raised his eyebrows. “You’re contradicting yourself, this is impossible.”
“Okay then… let’s see… how to explain― wait Harry!”
But Harry was already headed inside and Cisco dashed quickly behind to follow.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Hi there, welcome to Big Belly Burger how may I help you?” Carlos, the B3 employee rattled off.
Harry walked strangely up to the counter, soldier stiff, yet fluid?
“Hey, Uh… give me my burgers.” A nudge from Cisco “my usual order, um please, thank you” Harry winced turning to leave but Cisco grabbed an arm hauling him back.
As Cisco ordered, he heard a certain raspy voice muttering next to him.
“
Weight on one leg, hands: gesticulating eagerly, face: …enthusiastic...
”
Harry was analyzing Cisco’s body language... out loud... right now.
Cisco faltered, flushing slightly “.... and a smarge fries― I mean l-large. Thanks.”
“We’ll have that right up for you.” Carlos chirped
Cisco nodded graciously to the counter, dragging Harry to the nearest table as soon as the employee’s back was turned.
“Harry!’ Cisco hissed
“
Hands: flailing randomly, posture: slumped, face: frantic... and slightly red.
” Harry froze. “You’re distressed.”
“Correct, good job buuuuut, you can’t do that out loud!”
“Why not? You did it earlier.”
“That was… Because… because it may make people self-conscious or just it’s not really a part of conversation’
“Maybe it should be, then everyone can read everyone else. Easy.”
“Order for Harry?” That was fast.
Harry stood up, walking normally to the counter this time. It was only upon reaching his destination that he noticed something about the B3 employee was off. He began cataloguing (mentally this time).
Eyes: red, body: slumped, Expression: fallen.
“Uh… is everything, okay?”
“What? I-I’m fine”
“You look: sad” Harry stated, confident in his analysis.
Carlos sighed. “My dog is in the hospital right now… ate chocolate. I just feel like it’s my fault... I want him back”
Harry paused momentarily unsure what to say, he felt lost. Should he mention Tess? No then he’d be saying the dog was going to die… uh.
“My friends are... important to me as… I am sure your dog is to you. I bet that… your dog knows that too, I know… my friends do.”
Carlos smiled shyly at Harry “That rhymed.”
“It did? Not again…”
The employee chuckled. “Thanks for dropping by, Have a great day!”
“Uh...You too.”
Cisco watched as Harry returned, still wary, to their little table.
“Wait… oh no you’re sad too! Not again… Uh…”
“No, Harry. I’m fine, just happy for you.”
“But, the body signs… you―” Harry sighed. “Why does body language have to be so complicated! It would be way easier to have emotion watches, like green means happy, red; angry―”
“C’mon Harry, I’m surprised you haven’t even checked the burgers”
“The burgers? The BURGERS. Yes!” Harry dashed out the store burgers in hand. Cisco didn’t have to be a master of body language to tell Harry was excited.