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Sam sighed as he reached out to turn the tap on, listlessly watching as water started filling the large sink. It was probably a waste to fill the sink for just the handful of cups and the one lone plate that were currently laying across the bottom of it, but Sam welcomed the distraction. Washing the dishes gave him something to focus on, something concrete that required his hands rather than his mind, and despite the shame burning in his guts that he was using the dishes to escape, Sam couldn’t deny that he needed it all the same. Disappointment had burned hot in his belly for a few hours now, leaving him nauseous and dejected. He’d been so hopeful when he called Rowena, so sure she’d be able to fix what was ailing Jack and all would be fine but now… Now he didn’t know what to think; what to feel, except for numb. Sam had never imaged he’d get the chance to become a father—after his own shitty upbringing and a lifetime spent hunting, he was sure it was something that he’d never get to experience for himself. Oh, he’d envisioned it once—somewhere in those fleeting, too-bright years spent with Jessica at his side and his future laid out before him like a wide array of sunshine. While they’d never gotten as far as having the actual talk Sam had once pictured it all: a nice house with a picket fence, 2.5 kids, and maybe even a dog or two… but like everything else in his life the dream had never made it to reality. Perhaps it was better this way, he thought as he watched the water swirl in the sink. Even if Jess had survived the demon’s attack and they had managed to get as far as graduating and marrying Sam still didn’t think he’d be too cut out for parenthood. John hadn’t exactly won any father of the year awards and though Dean had tried, and Sam loved him for it, he was still a screwed scale to pit fatherhood by. But what about Jack? His traitorous mind wondered as Sam flicked the tap off absentmindedly. While the boy—Nephilim—is technically Lucifer’s son Sam couldn’t deny the deep connection, he’d felt towards Jack since that morning he met him in a dark nursery. Sam knows he isn’t alone in it either—Castiel and (now finally) Dean have been feeling the same pull as well. It doesn’t matter that it’s not traditional or that Jack isn’t related to any of them he’s still become their son, nevertheless. --"Samuel?” The familiar, lilting Scottish voice calling his name from behind him abruptly broke into Sam’s thoughts, scattering them to the wind, leaving him blinking watering eyes at the untouched sink full of dishes in front of him. “Hm? Yeah?” He coughed, trying and failing to hide the clogged way his voice sounded even as he brought a hand up to hastily swipe at his eyes. When he felt like he had himself somewhat back under control, and that was a laugh considering, he turned around to face Rowena, only to abruptly reel back at the finding a leather pouch being thrust up in his face. “Um, Rowena?” Sam asked, as he blinked cross eyed at the pouch and the tiny witch brandishing it at him. He was ashamed to admit that he’d forgotten she was even there, that’s how rattled this whole situation had gotten him. When she had disappeared after cautioning them to say goodbye to Jack Sam had figured she had slipped out yet obviously he was wrong considering she was right there before him, having to lean up (no mean feat with those shoes) to dangle a pouch of something right before his eyes. It took a few seconds, in which neither she nor the pouch disappeared, before Sam’s brain finally kicked back online enough for him to ask: “What’s that?” “Truly Samuel,” Rowena tutted at him, a frown marring her pretty features as she waggled the pouch at him, stopping just short of whacking him on the nose with it. “One would think yeh hadn’t gotten a present before. Go on.” Another waggle for emphasis. “Take it.” A present? The confusion on Sam’s face was there and gone in a microsecond before her words truly registered and he puffed up in defense. “I’ve gotten presents before!” He huffed, unable to stop himself from shooting her what Dean had so fondly termed a ‘bitch face’. The effect was ruined, however, by the upturn twitch of his lips as he finally reached out and took ahold of the bag. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” “Don’t go getting your knickers in a twist!” Rowena matched his faux exasperation with her own, but her smile was bigger. “It’s really nothing.” She tried to brush it off, her frown melting into an anxiousness that belayed her words. “Just a small token of my affections is all.” Sam watched her closely as he gently tugged the bag free from her grasp. “Oh really?” He asked cheekily, trying to lighten the moment as he pulled on the strings holding the bag closed and looked inside. Confusion instantly knotted his brow at what he found in the bag, and with a quick glance at Rowena, he reached in to pull what was in there out. Nimble fingers lifted out a dark strip of leather, around an inch wide, with a small metal pendant nestled in the center of it. Sam stared. Was it what he thought it was? Heat flared in his cheeks even as his eyebrows rose to his hairline. “I…” He started, his words dying a quick death in his throat under the crush of embarrassment flooding through him. He swallowed hard, finally seeming to rally himself, and looked up enough to give Rowena a stunned look. “Ro?” Rowena had moved while he was having his reaction, now resting back against the cabinets across the room instead of being up in his face. It was the first step to a quick getaway if need be. “Do you like it?” She asked, all soft hesitance in the face of his confusion. Sam doesn’t respond right away. It’s not a matter of like or dislike, but rather shock that numbs his tongue to the bottom of his mouth, leaving him speechless. In a moment of pure panic, he wishes Dean would walk in. His brother would make some kind of crude joke or remark, that Sam has no doubt of, but at least it would be better than the silent, wide-eyed reaction he can’t seem to move past. “Y-you got me a collar?” He finally manages to rasp out, the words barely more than a harsh whisper pushed out through a bone-dry throat. “Aye,” Rowena replied, calm and collected like she hadn’t just rocked Sam’s world in the decidedly not fun way. Without elaborating she moved in closer, reaching out to tug the collar free from Sam’s lax fingers. Carefully cupped in her hands, the pile of leather and metal looked larger. “It’s a symbol, I suppose you could say.” She said, attention focused more on the collar than looking up at Sam. “I know this thing between us is still new, but...” She paused, head bowed as her hands tightened around the collar’s soft leather, “I love you Sam.” She gasped, voice choked and eyes shining as she lifted her head to look him in the eyes. “I know it’s too soon, but I cannot help the way I feel and—” Whatever else she was about to say was suddenly lost under the dual sensations of his arms wrapping around her, drawing her in, and the warm pressure of his lips pressing against her own. Sam exhaled, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He was flabbergasted, completely caught off guard by the depth of her feelings and for a moment he let himself drift in the sensation. How long had it been since someone had declared they loved him? The thought tumbled about in his head even as the pang of pain in his chest grew upon realizing he honestly couldn’t remember. The short answer was: too long, and that more than anything cemented his resolve. Only Chuck knew what tomorrow would bring and Sam was tired of waiting for it to catch up to him. Where had it gotten him? Heartache was where—with Jess, with Eileen—and it was time to be done with it. Before he could let his mind get the better of him Sam leaned in, sealing his devotion with the press of his lips against Rowena’s in a kiss. “Gods, Rowena,” Sam breathed when they finally pulled away, a bright grin lighting up his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Would you have believed me had I just come out and said it?” She tried to sound stern, really, she did, but his happiness was contagious, and she couldn’t help but match his childish grin with one of her own. “Now bend down so I can see what this looks like on you.” Rowena commanded, giving the nearly-forgotten collar a small twirl before straightening it out. “You’re serious?” That worried crease was back between Sam’s eyes as he looked between her and the collar she was holding out. “I—you—Dean will never let me—A collar?” He spluttered out, unable to get a full sentence in before stuttering to an embarrassed halt. “My my, I didn’t realize you were so uptight, Sam.” Rowena grinned at him, her smile decidedly predatorily. “If you would just relax for a moment I’ll explain.” Not that she wasn’t enjoying the show—a flustered Sam was something to behold indeed. “I’m not uptight!” Sam exploded, though the blush spreading rapidly across his face was doing a good job at disproving it. Okay, so maybe he was a little. Sue him. It wasn’t his fault he spent way too much time researching for cases and solutions to whatever other problems arose. “You know I can’t wear that all the time, right?” He asked even as he leaned down far enough for her to reach his neck. He wasn’t trying to be contrary about it: all no doubtless gross jokes from his brother aside, there was just no way that a collar would come in handy while hunting. “Oh, you sweet summer child,” The tiny witch sighed even as she rolled her eyes at him fondly. “How long have you known me? Just because it looks like a traditional collar now doesn’t mean it hasn’t to stay that way.” The implication that he didn’t trust her should have stung, however she couldn’t find in herself to be mad. Sam was a hunter after all, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t gotten the drop on him many times over. “Trust me Sam.” “I do,” Sam said automatically only to internally wince at how it sounded. “Trust you, I mean. I do, uh, trust you!” He clamped his mouth shut, halting the flow of babble that wanted to escape. Way to go Sam, way to go! He mentally chided himself as he struggled to watch her from underneath the thick fall of his hair. Rowena smiled, she couldn’t help it; truly was there a better sight than a flustered Winchester? She thought not. Taking advantage of his supplication pose she moved forward, her tiny shoes neatly stepping up beside Sam’s huge boot-clad ones. “Relax Sam,” She practically purred, leaning in towards him, collar held between her upraised hands. “I’m not going to hurt you.” “I’d be more surprised if you tried.” Sam huffed, the motion making his hair blow out from his face just a bit. “Sorry, this is just…new to me.” It was a testament of how much the trust had grown between them, however, that he remained bent over and still for her. “Ah, you’re such a charmer!” Rowena clucked at him, humor thick in her tone. Since he was behaving she wasted no time, stretching up on her tiptoes in order to loop the collar around his neck. “This is new to me as well,” She remarked as one hand carefully moved his hair away from his neck. “Collaring someone, I mean.” Her hands were cool where they carefully brushed against the hot skin of his neck, the smooth leather of the collar a soothing weight following them. “I’ve worn one before, more times than I care to recount,” She went on, one hand absent-mindedly smoothing the collar down as she spoke. “but I don’t wish to control you Sam or own you or anything else you may be thinking.” “I wasn’t thinking that.” Sam replied quietly, voice muffled from where he was still bent over, his face covered by his hair. “I get it.” He shifted, straightening up enough to be able to look into her eyes. “It’s like a symbol, right? It’s just a different way of showing our commitment to one another.” He studied her face, eyes searching. “I don’t want to control you either. I want us to be in this together.” “That’s right,” Rowena smiled though it didn’t quite touch the sadness that still lingered in her eyes. “I just want you to feel protected; to know that I’ll be there when you need me.” She straightened up as well and took a step back to look up at him. “It suits you.” “Does it?” And just like that Sam’s brilliant smile was back, the heaviness of the moment lost underneath the shine of it. He tilted his head down like it’d help him see it better, long hair flopping in his eyes at the movement. “It feels good,” he pointed out, “hardly feels like there’s anything there but…” he looked up, pinning her under the weight of hazel eyes and suddenly boyish shy smile, “You said you could make it look less like a collar?” Rowena rolled her eyes at his antics; she couldn’t help it. For someone so large he was fluid when he wanted to be, shifting effortlessly from one strong emotion to the other with barely a pause in between. “Ach, my you’re a cheeky one!” She said, waggling a finger at him for good measure, but the effect was lost in the way her smile just kept on growing. “Would you like to see it before I change it?” She produced a mirror out of nowhere and extended it to him. He took it and wasted no time in flipping it open to look. The collar fit around his neck perfectly, the dark leather a nice compliment to his skin where it rested just above his collar bones. The light bounced off the triangle pendant, highlighting a slight purplish hue to the metal. “Wow.” Sam said, struck speechless. “What do you think?” Rowena asked, watching him closely. Sam remained silent, the moment stretching out as he studied his reflection. Just when Rowena couldn’t stand the suspense any longer, he looked up, locking eyes with her, and took two steps to close the distance between them. “I love you.” He declared, his face full of nothing but devotion as he leaned down and kissed her. As far as answers went that one was a declaration, and one Rowena whole-heartedly took. She melted into the kiss, her arms twining around him. “I love you too,” she told him when they finally pulled apart, her face positively shining underneath her now-smeared makeup and suspiciously wet eyes. Before Sam could comment, however, she stepped back and eyed him with a grin. “Gizzen!” She shouted, waving a hand through the air at him. A flash of bright purplish light erupted from her fingertips, ensconcing him in their rays. “Rowena?!” Sam yelped, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes from the intensity of the light, but her name had barely left his lips when the light began to fade. It disappeared as quick as it’d come, leaving Sam blinking at the tiny witch in confusion. “What just happened?” “Why I simply did what you asked,” She said, looking perfectly innocent and composed…or would have had a smirk not been tugging at the corner of her lips. “You did express concern towards the collar been seen as is, yes?” She motioned to the mirror he was still holding, encouraging him to look. While keeping one eye on Rowena, because really after that who could blame him, Sam lifted the mirror and felt his eyebrows shoot into his hairline. The collar was still around his neck but just as Rowena had promised, it had changed. The thick leather band had transformed into a thin leather cord that hung loosely around his neck; to anyone that looked it appeared to be a normal necklace. “It’s perfect.” Sam said, flashing her a grateful smile, because it really was. He’d still have to take it off during hunts but other than that it could easily be tucked underneath his shirt. “Excellent!” Rowena beamed at him, the look on her face fond amusement. “I suppose I should be leaving then…let you attend to your dishes.” Sam blinked in surprise; he’d completely forgotten about the dishes. He half turned, just enough to confirm that the dishes were still sitting in the full but slightly less sudsy sink as before. When he turned back, however, he had to blink in surprise—just like that Rowena was gone. “Rowena?” He asked the room at large, taking a few steps to look around, but predictably, there was no answer. Sam sighed, the sound echoing in the sudden quietness as he headed back to the sink. He wasn’t overly surprised—Rowena had always come and gone as she pleased so it was hardly a surprise that she’d do so now. “Until next time,” he breathed into the silence, one hand reaching up to gently tug on the triangle pendant hanging about his neck. A feeling of peace and love flooded through him at the touch and he closed his eyes, letting it wash over him for a moment. While he didn’t know what the future would hold for him or Dean or Cas or Jack, he felt safe and secure that Rowena loved him and that for now was enough. Opening his eyes again, he cast one last look around the empty kitchen before dropping his hands into the rapidly cooling dishwater. Until then he had dishes to clean and a son to get back to.