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“Penny for your thoughts, Ambassador?” Christopher Pike's voice pulled you out of your wandering thoughts as he watched you with a curious smile playing on his lips.“Hmm? Oh… it’s nothing really,” You replied, glancing up and seeing the warmth in those blue eyes couldn’t help but smile back, “I was thinking about what it’s like for you, to travel among the stars, a chance to see all those planets out in space… it seems such a magical way to live.”“That is one way to describe it.” There was something about the simple wonder reflected in your face that had Pike giving his complete attention to you.For the past week you had spent your time on this strange new world - a neutral planet where all beings were welcome, Humans, Vulcans, Andorians, Tellarites and others - attending a peace conference, with members of Starfleet who had accompanied the delegation; the crew of the USS Enterprise and Discovery were all present for protection. You knew that threats had been made to the Federation, but as one of the attending ambassadors from Earth, having them there meant things would certainly be calmer, and they had been. Each officer had assigned themselves to a respective member, and Captain Christopher Pike himself was essentially your… guardian. Throughout the days, you were busy taking part in the discussions as they led up to the signing of a peace treaty, but after… the two of you would spend time together, walking the grounds nearby, talking about the work that you were doing, listening to his stories about Starfleet missions… and you found yourself looking forward to those moments every day.Tonight was the conference’s last night - a ball was being held in honor of everyone reaching a peaceful consensus - in the morning everyone would gather for one final meeting and after signing the treaty, it was back home to Earth for you and to the skies for the Captain. From where you stood on the balcony, you could see a different view of the starry sky than you were used to seeing from Earth. It was filled with constellations and planets you had only heard of - perhaps even dreamed of even - but to be here and see it with your own eyes… that was something else entirely.“Have you had the chance to experience it for yourself yet?” He asked, as if he could sense the longing in your heart; he was familiar with that feeling.“No, in fact this is my first time off-world if you would believe it. I was traveling with all the other representatives on the USS Aurora, so…” You trailed off, not wanting to sound displeased, which you weren't, this was an important opportunity after all.“It wasn’t as exciting as you hoped it would be?” He finished your unspoken thought.“Something like that.” At his words, you couldn’t help but grin, even while you found yourself trying not to get flustered around him.“Well, I think we should endeavor to change that don’t you think?” You saw that his eyes seemed to glint in the moonlight and you had to look away.“Whatever do you mean Captain?” Surely he didn't mean-At first you weren’t sure if the Captain had heard what you said to him, something seemed to have changed in that minute. There was nothing to suggest a disturbance in the room behind you, but he was distracted long enough for you to notice. You knew that Commander Burnham and Officer Spock were guarding their parents, Captain Pike’s First Officer was in charge of protecting the Ambassador of the Tellarites and Commander Saru, the Andorian Ambassador; perhaps they were simply reporting in on comms. However, before you had the chance to ask him anything else, he took the empty glass from your hand and set it aside. In the next second, his hand went to the small of your back.“What I mean is, if you would do me the honor of a dance, Ambassador, I will personally see to it that you get a chance to see the stars. Properly this time.” There was a genuine sincerity in his voice that you saw reflected in his eyes as well, it was impossible to refuse his offer.And if you were being honest, perhaps a small part of you didn’t want to refuse him. After spending so much time together, you had started to feel a sense of ease around him that you hadn’t felt in a long time.“All right, yes. I will dance with you… but on one condition.”“And what condition is that?”“Call me Y/N, please, Captain… Ambassador makes me feel far too old.”“And if I do that… Y/N, then you must call me Christopher. I insist.”With a nod of your head in agreement, though you couldn’t quite yet bring yourself to use his name so… informally… you placed your hand in his and let him lead you to the dance floor. Everything was proceeding as normal and even though you knew Christopher was on alert you didn’t mention it to him; he was there to protect you first and foremost, as well as the other guests with his crew. It was probably nothing.“So tell me… Christopher, where does a Starfleet Captain learn how to dance?” The song playing was a familiar tune, and ever since he had begun to lead the dance, you didn’t realize when one song had turned into two.“Dancing was actually something my mother wanted me to learn when I was a boy, before I joined the academy… especially the Viennese Waltz, so I apologize if I’m a little rusty, I will try not to step on your toes.” He explained, almost looking a little sheepish as he said that, if it was even possible.“I don’t think I’ve had a chance to learn anything but a traditional ballroom dance.” You mused, wondering what that would be like. “As for stepping on my toes, I don’t think I’m in any danger of that, you’re one of the better partners I’ve had the fortune of dancing with.” You added as an afterthought and then realized how it sounded.“And have there been many? Dance partners, that is?” His question was curious but not overtly so, this was a conversation just like every other one you’d had with him.“… No, no there haven’t been that many.” As personal as this was getting, you found yourself wanting to open up to him, “I’ve never had the time or opportunity really… I may have danced with someone before, when I was still studying, but ever since I became Ambassador… well, there’s rarely any time for anything else is there?” You said and took a chance to glance into his eyes after that.“That is true...” There was a hint of melancholy in his voice, one that suggested he knew exactly how you felt.Whatever else that Christopher was about to say, you weren't going to know, because in that moment when he was holding you in his arms as the two of you continued to dance together… the very thing him and the others had been dreading suddenly erupted throughout the ballroom. It was not a full scale attack, nor was it anything loud and noisy that would catch everyone's attention immediately. This was a carefully planned threat caused by the dissenters. A silent strike… for whilst everyone in the room had been occupied with the celebrations, a small device that had been lying dormant unseen this whole time, was activated as soon as all of the entrances and exits were blocked off.At first, it appeared to be nothing but a smoke grenade, and only one of a kind… but there were several others scattered at various points throughout the room that were remotely turned on one by one. They began by releasing a vapor that started to spread across the floor, but just when the Starfleet officers and other guests noticed the smoke, a beeping noise that was masked by the music began to emit from its casing… almost a dozen beeps simultaneously, The thing about devices such as this was… instead of an explosion akin to a bomb, there were more precise ways to cause destruction without death; a self-destruct option of sorts which when placed near heavy drapes of curtains and tablecloths were easily flammable. Before everyone had realized what happened… a spark of light turned into a flame and then… ignited into a fire. There was a scream first, from across the ballroom that had caught Christopher’s attention. Instinct had him pulling you close; things could get dangerous and fast.“Fire ! Help someone! Please!”“What’s going on?” You - and almost everyone else turned towards the voice that had called out - seeing the fires tried not to panic.“Y/N, stay close to me. We’ll figure something out.” His hand held yours and standing so close, you could see the fierce protectiveness in his eyes.“But-” You tried to protest, about to tell him that he needed to help everyone but he wasn’t hearing it.“I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He said to you, and even though there was widespread fear all around, for that one second, there was just you that he focused on.If only that was possible… once everyone’s attention was fixated on the fire, it was inevitable that panic and chaos would set in. There were at least a hundred people all trapped in the ballroom with no way out. Somehow, in the madness of everything when the fire started to spread, you found yourself being pushed and thrown off balance… separated from Christopher. His hand slipping away from yours as you lost sight of him. What of Amanda? And Sarek? You spun around trying to catch sight of someone, anyone that you might recognize. The smoke was getting hotter now, your eyes burned as you blinked - never rubbed, that would make it worse - some part of you remembered that… there were people screaming, yelling to get out of the ballroom.“The doors! They’ve barred the entrance!”“We need to find a way-”“Are you hurt? You’re bleeding!”Voices, too many voices, everyone was terrified now. Where were the Starfleet officers? Where was Christopher? You stood in the middle of the room, the fires had built now, converging from the corners towards the center… it would soon be too hot to think clearly but for one moment you closed your eyes and focused. There had been three entrances and exits to the hall, wouldn’t it have made sense to break the glass windows - no, they were most likely reinforced - voices that you didn’t quite recognize but heard through the noise, something about phasers… cutting through metal…“Y/N!” And suddenly Christopher was there, grabbing your hand, pulling you towards the doors furthest away from the fire. “Are you hurt?” His face was covered in smoke and there was a cut on his cheek but otherwise he was calm and in charge of the situation.“I’m… okay…” You coughed, trying not to breathe in all the smoke surrounding you.“We’ve got an opening.” He explained, shielding his eyes from the heat, “Our phasers cut through the metal. Let’s get you out.”You nodded silently and ran with him, heading for the crowd where everyone was being ushered outside quickly and carefully; time was all a blur for you now, but soon you found yourself on the other side with all the delegates, Christopher’s arm around your waist as you took deep breaths and coughed the smoke from your lungs. Air, fresh air, it felt like you had been inside for too long. You could feel a dull throbbing headache… but you were safe… he was safe… and so were the others… weren’t they?“Help! Oh god, someone please help me!” A woman’s voice, one that you clearly recognized, from somewhere next to you rung out.“Amber? What’s wrong?” You blinked several times, turning to find one of your colleagues not more than ten feet away.“My baby! I can’t find him anywhere! He was with me… and then… oh god… my son! He’s inside! I need to go… please!” Her frantic breathing and bloodshot eyes weren’t the only obvious signs of distress that she was in.You knew she was going to run in without worry for herself but in her current state, Amber was safest if she stayed back. It took only a heartbeat of a second for you to make up your mind… you remembered meeting her son, he couldn’t have been left behind on Earth with no other family to care for him, and so she had brought him along; the minute you’d gone over to her, Christopher’s attention had turned away to order his officers to start evacuating everyone off the planet as soon as possible. You knew… you knew that you could ask him… but there was no time… the only moment you took to hesitate was to rip the folds of your gown and before you knew it, you were running back inside. The fire could have spread far enough now and you didn’t know if anyone was going to douse it, but that didn’t matter.Christopher noticed you running towards the fire-stricken ballroom a second too late but even though you were too far for him to call out your name, he didn’t think twice before following behind.“Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?” The two of you had found yourselves back in the ballroom, and he’d caught your hand just in time before a chandelier fell to the ground, smashing glass everywhere.Pulling you down to the floor as far away as possible, Christopher tried to shield you from most of the broken pieces.“Amber’s son! He’s… still… here. I- I need to… find him.” You were doubled over in his arms coughing even more than you had been earlier.“So you ran in without saying a word?” His breathing was equally heavy now, the fires had spread throughout the ballroom.“No time. We need to… help me.”There. In the midst of everything that surrounded the two of you came a cry, far away but still clear enough for you both to recognize. A child’s crying, he was here somewhere. Christopher stood up and held out a hand.“I’m not leaving.”Together, you and him made your way toward the voice, calling out for him to hold on and wait. There was debris everywhere, broken tables, overturned chairs, flames licking through the wood, building and rising with every second that passed. Seconds turned into minutes and before you knew it, there he was. A tiny boy hiding under a chair, crying but otherwise unharmed. You ran the last few feet and draped the torn fabric of your dress over him and picked him in your arms. Just when you thought that this was the chance for you to escape as quickly as you’d come inside, a loud creaking noise and a shout from Christopher had you jumping aside. With a thunderous crash that reverberated throughout the room, one of the pillars fell exactly where you had been standing seconds ago.“Y/N! Y/N! Where are you?”“I’m here… we’re fine… just stuck.”“Hang on I’m coming.”But it was impossible to do so; the pillar had slammed on top of the table, leaving you trapped with the wall behind you. There was enough space between the floor for someone small to squeeze through - Amber’s son was breathing heavily now, coughing and sniffling. “No! Just take him!” You gently handed the baby to Christopher. “Go, get him out of here.”“I can get you both out.” He was adamant in his tone but you weren’t about to argue with him. “There’s no time. My ankle’s twisted… I’ll slow you down. Go please.”Christopher stared at you, sensing that the fire was sneaking its way across the walls, getting closer now. He couldn’t believe that you had stopped him from making an impossible choice.“I’m coming back for you.” He said at last.And then he was gone. You watched as he held the baby under his jacket and ran for the exit, it was too far for you to have made it with a sprain, but he would be back any minute now. You knew that. If only you could just close your eyes for a second and catch your breath. Dizzy, you felt the room starting to spin… the headache was throbbing now… tears were streaming down your face… you doubled over coughing… the floor didn’t feel like it was burning, you could just rest for a second and wait until Christopher returned. You sank down on your knees, swaying from the heat and lack of oxygen, not being able to see the shadow that was running towards you, vaulting over the pillar, calling your name.“Stay with me… Y/N… just hold on. I'm going to get us both out of here.” Those were the last words you heard before the darkness claimed you.Without paying any heed to the debris that was threatening to fall down at any second, Christopher swung his arms under your legs and picked you up carefully. You were unconscious but still breathing and that was enough for him. He walked as fast as he could, avoiding all the burning embers, making his way to the main doors.“You're gonna be okay.” He whispered, knowing that maybe… just maybe… you could hear him.
The first time you’d met Captain Christopher Pike, he had introduced himself and surprised everyone when he’d greeted you with a kiss on your hand, a complete gentleman and formal but friendly; the first time he had made you laugh was when he said if he wasn’t a Starfleet captain, he probably would have been an ordained minister, with such conviction you almost believed him if it hadn’t been for the smirk on his face; the first time he’d walked with you after a particularly harrowing discussion had led to all parties to an impasse, he listened quietly while you vented, offering advice when needed; the first time you danced with him that last night at the ball, hand in hand, looking into his eyes, wanting to lay your head on his chest… but then… something changed. There was a fire! And you lost him. In the darkness and flames you were trapped. All alone until he saved you, pushing you outside… but not making it out in time… no no no… Christopher!
Startling yourself awake from the nightmare, you thrashed out in a fright, your eyes were squeezed shut, not knowing where you were or what had happened, but then a pair of strong arms caught you and a familiar voice broke through the images in your mind.“Y/N! You're okay, you're okay… it's me, Christopher. Hey, look, we're safe now on the Enterprise.” His hands were holding yours, telling you that he was here. With you. Alive.Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes and focused on the new surroundings. You were in the sickbay, it was strangely empty, save for the medical officers and the doctor. Christopher was sitting beside you, his eyes looking a little weary and tired… you remembered him coming in after you… his promise to return…“You came back for me.” You whispered, realizing that you'd passed out at some point, the heat and smoke had become unbearable.“Did you ever doubt that?” How long had it been you wondered; it was the first time you could see sadness reflected in his eyes.You didn't know what came over you - yes it made sense after he had pulled you out of the fire - but when you threw your arms around him then and there, it was more than just that. You wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone, but you couldn't bring yourself to say it out loud.“Thank you.”For a second, Christopher Pike found himself at a loss of words when he felt you hugging him, the others were pointedly looking away… but saying something didn't matter… instead he wrapped his arms around you too.“Are you all right?” You asked him, wondering how he wasn't lying in a bed as well.“Yes, perfectly fine.” He replied with a soft smile, “I did have to spend an hour or two recovering from the fire; but Doctor Boyce cleared me… and I stayed to watch over you.”“Amber and her son?”“Safe and sound, thanks to you.”Where are we headed?” The feeling of being back on a starship was oddly comforting to you, even though it was only your second time - and second ship.“We're already en route back to Earth… it's been half a night.” Christopher said, not taking his eyes off you.“And everyone else?” You asked, thinking about the other ambassadors and starfleet officers.It seemed as if all your cuts and bruises had healed already, though there was still a shadow of an ache in your ankle, a dull throb. And in the rest of your body; but there were so many questions that you wanted to ask.“There were no fatalities, some serious injuries, but they’ve been treated. We got everyone out in time. Y/N, you need your rest, we'll be reaching home soon.” His concern for you was evident and you felt a rush of relief at his words.“I know… it’s just…” You didn’t quite know how to explain it, there was nothing you had against hospitals and sick-bays on starships, but there was a fear - however irrational it may be - that made you want to leave as soon as possible.It seemed however, that Christopher had an inkling of what you were thinking. He could see the furtiveness in your eyes as you kept glancing all over the room, taking in the equipment and machines and guessed at a sense of overwhelming feelings building inside of you.“How about this? Give me a minute to speak with the doctor and I’ll see what I can do about releasing you into my care.” Was all he said, with a knowing look.You nodded and watched as he walked over to his crew, not even thinking about closing your eyes for a minute, not when the nightmare was still so vivid in your mind. Within a few minutes, after listening to Doctor Boyce’s advice on proper rest and making sure that you still slept until the Enterprise reached Earth, you found yourself taking Christopher’s arm that he held out for you as the two of you left the sickbay and walked towards the Captain’s quarters. Everywhere on the ship, people were discussing the fire, about a coordinated attack, friends and colleagues who had been there in the ballroom at the time. Most of it, you ended up tuning out, but then… an unfamiliar voice… said something you hadn’t been expecting to hear.“Yes, the prisoners have already been transported as we speak. The L/N family. Known for past offenses on Earth over the years, mainly protests and minor disturbances but still a considerable threat…”Two people in red uniforms passed you and Christopher as they headed in the opposite direction, and it wasn’t until you felt his hand against the small of your back did you turn and face him.“Let’s get you settled in shall we? There’s still a few hours before we reach Earth.” When you looked into his eyes, you saw what your restless mind had been searching for.He led you to his ready room, which thankfully wasn’t a long walk from the sickbay. As soon as you stepped inside however, you didn’t wait for him to say anything else, but moved away… your feet finding their own path towards the windows where the stars flew by… the heavy dread that was building in your chest was threatening to burst out… a secret… a truth that no one knew… no one you hadn’t told yourself. The thoughts in your mind were all a blur and you just wanted them to stop.“You know don’t you, Christopher?” Your voice sounded hoarse as you broke the silence, it was more than the fear that had been building in your heart than any lingering aftermath of the fire. “You know who my family are.”“Yes. I know.” This was the look on his face that you had seen moments ago, one you couldn’t quite read; no matter how much time you had spent with him, now that the truth was out…“How long?” Why did it make a difference, you wondered, after everything that had happened… it didn’t change the facts… it didn’t change your history… he was Captain of one of the best Starfleet vessels in all the galaxies. And you were, well… you knew who you were.“Before the delegation arrived.” He answered. “I personally assigned my crew and the Discovery, to each Ambassador, with their respective dossiers.”“And you chose to be my guardian, because you wanted to see if there was anything to the threats… that if it turned out to be an inside job, then maybe it was me.” The logic made sense, that’s what you needed to focus on.“Yes. And no.” He had been watching you from across the room ever since he’d brought you here, but now he closed the distance and stood in front of you. “As Captain, it was my duty to follow my instincts and see where they led; I took it upon myself to protect you because I realized that if anything, you were more likely to be in danger than responsible for what happened.”“Why would you think that?” Frowning, you looked to him in confusion. That was not what you were expecting.You were a little surprised when he reached out and took both of your hands in his - this was different than before, it felt… intimate and also… safe - in that moment… it was as if time had stopped for just the two of you. There was nothing else, no one else, but this second, frozen.“I spent the better part of a week with you, Y/N. Day and night, you were never out of my sight, not completely, not really. Being a Starfleet captain has given me the chance to meet a lot of people, but I’ve rarely ever seen someone as compassionate and kind as you are. Your work is important to you and you care about everyone, whether they’re human or Vulcan or any other species. You want peace whereas your family wants fear and chaos… and…” He trailed off at that.“And what?” You breathed out, feeling your heart beating so fast in your chest, it seemed impossible he couldn’t hear it too.“And forgive me for saying something so bold, but you ran back into the fire, I may not know your family… but I doubt they would have done something so selfless.” The way he said that, it sounded like admiration in his voice.“Some would say that I was being reckless.” Was the first thing that came to mind, which was mostly true.“That, I do understand.” He admitted with a grin, and for a moment, it was as if everything was at it had been before.In the silence that followed, you were still aware of his hands holding yours, maybe he had forgotten about it… but when his gaze fell on your entwined hands, he simply gestured behind him and led you into his room.“So what happens now?” You sat down on the bed, feeling the exhaustion creeping back into your veins, but not wanting to sleep just then.“Well, Starbase 1 is being prepared for the ambassadors and their emissaries.” Christopher said, turning back to face you, handing you the water. “We’re keeping the details on lockdown, but in a fortnight’s time the treaty is going to be signed, you have my word on this Y/N.”“No, I meant… with me.” The unspoken question about your family’s involvement and how your name would inevitably come up and create problems for the treaty hung in the air between you both, but you weren’t prepared to hear Christopher’s answer.“Absolutely nothing at all.” He said simply, his eyes on you as he waited for your reaction.“I don’t understand, if the people who were involved in this attack…” You started to say, not understanding what he meant.“They already confessed.” Seeing the surprise in your eyes, he sat down at the edge of the bed. “The one thing that none of them anticipated was the presence of Starfleet at the conference, which is why it didn’t take more than a few hours for us to track them down; but no one has even mentioned your name, as a co-conspirator or even as a specific target.”Somehow, hearing those words didn’t make you feel as relieved as you thought it would. Sighing softly, you leaned back against the pillows and covered your face with one hand… all of this had happened so quickly, you hadn’t even processed the fact that it really was them… they were no longer your family, hadn’t been for a long time, but still… somewhere deep down, it stung.“I don’t know whether I should be relieved or upset that I’m practically non-existent to them.” You mumbled.“Family isn’t always about blood, that’s something I’ve come to learn over the years.” He knew that there were no reassuring words that would help but he wanted to show you that you weren’t alone.“How are Ambassador Sarek and Amanda?” You hadn't forgotten about them, but hearing Christopher mention ‘family’ seemed like a good time to ask him.“They are both well, and on their way to Vulcan, the Discovery is seeing to that personally… I ordered Spock to stay with his family until they are safe home.”“I wonder how he reacted to that.” “You know the family very well don't you Y/N?” The curiosity in his voice was unmistakable; that was something your file might not have had.“Yes. Through Amanda, I've known her ever since I left home all those years ago; I took my great-grandmother’s maiden name when I cut ties from my family. She has always been a mentor and helped me find my way. In truth, I am an Ambassador because of her.” You explained.“If there's one thing that I know about from my Science Officer and Commander Burnham, it is that their mother is a…” He paused just then and met your gaze.“Force to be reckoned with?” You finished his sentence, trying to stifle a laugh.“In her own way, yes. I've had the pleasure ofmeeting her before.” A proper diplomatic answer which was something you would have expected from a Starfleet Captain. “I’ve also spoken with Ambassador Sarek and he agreed to allow the Enterprise to escort him and Lady Amanda to the meeting personally… they also made sure to let me know that they wish for you to join them.”“Thank you, Chris, for everything.” If there was any indication of surprise when he heard his name in such an intimate way, he said nothing to suggest that.“Why don't you try and get some rest, Y/N. I'll go find us something to eat in the cafeteria.” Just as he made to stand up and leave, your free hand reached for his, effectively stopping him in his tracks.“Will you stay?” The words slipped out of your mouth unbidden, “I… I don't feel up to being alone just yet.” By now there was no hiding the red tinge in your cheeks.“Are you sure?” He asked, knowing what you were asking him, and waited for your nod before he walked over to the other side of his bed and sat down… an arm stretched across the headboard, in silent invite for you to lean in closer and rest your head against his chest.Sliding one of your hands into his free one, you smiled and finally let yourself close your eyes; now that he was here and you knew he wasn’t going anywhere, the thought of falling back to sleep didn’t seem a terrifying prospect… maybe the nightmares wouldn’t return… everything would be okay. You had to believe that.“Chris?” You dared to finally give voice to the thought that had been on your mind for quite some time now.“Haven’t you fallen asleep yet Y/N?” He asked softly, his hand dropping down to your shoulder.“I have… but I wanted to ask you…” You knew that maybe there was a part of you that wanted to wait until you were almost sleeping before asking.“Yes?”“Would you teach me the Viennese waltz the next time you visit Earth?”“I would like that.”“I would like that very much too.”He waited for a minute, watching as you drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Without pulling away his hand from your hold, he bent down and softly kissed you on top of your head. There was an unspoken question; but when he saw the hint of a smile on your face even as you slept, he knew that this was a question you both wanted to find the answer to.