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English
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Published:
2019-02-14
Words:
757
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1/1

Valentines

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It had been four weeks now. Four weeks since your bond with Spock had kicked in again and you and he started dating. Or courting as he called it.You didn't know if it went well. You enjoyed time with him. Kissing him was better than you could have ever imagined. And feeling him on the back of your mind was absolutely fantastic. But the soulmate thing weighed heavy on you. You felt as if you were not allowed to fail. As if you had to be perfect for him. And while you knew that if it were true it would mean that you already were perfect for him, you felt stressed and tried to be even better.Today you were just too tired to check every single word you were about to say if it was the right one. Too tired to think about how to move, how to breathe. You had a hard day in the lab and just wanted to go to bed.But your plans of skipping dinner and just falling asleep as soon as you sat down were cancelled when you found Spock in your quarters.You sighed."I apologise. Am I not welcome?", he asked. For a brief moment you wondered when he had gotten that good at reading humans, but then you remembered that he could sense what you felt."No. I mean yes. I mean..." You rubbed your forehead. "I just want to sleep. I had a really long day and... I just can't... Can't, today." Only now did you see the flowers he held in his hand, half hidden behind his back. "Okay, now I feel like I missed something."Spock looked at you without any movement for a second, then he nodded. "Among humans I have been told this day is called Valentine's Day. This day is supposed to be special for lovers. Did I misunderstand?"You shook your head. "No, you didn't. I... I screwed up. I forgot." You didn't just forget, the thought that Spock would even be interested in a day like this never even crossed your mind. "I'm so sorry." You just felt awful. The day just got worse and worse and the worst was that you feared you had just disappointed Spock. While you should have felt bad about what you did to him, though, this made you rather pity yourself even more. And for this selfishness you hated yourself. Your emotions just were a mass right now."Shall I leave? Clearly something upset you."Did you want him to leave? Right now you felt rather like curling up on him and crying. But he wouldn't understand, would he? "I don't know. It's not your fault, though. I'm sorry I'm not in a better mood. And that I ruined your evening."He blinked, then he laid down the flowers on your desk and stepped closer, taking your hands. "You did not ruin anything. But if it is not my fault, do you wish to tell me what is wrong?""You'll think I'm illogical.""I think so most of our time together. It still fails to repell me."You to smile. But then you sobered. "I don't really know how to put it in words. I... feel drained. I try to be perfect and to always be the best girlfriend I can be, but... As much as I try and as much energy I invest, in the end I even forget about Valentine's. I am a failure.""Why would you try to be perfect?" He clearly didn't understand."Because... We share a bond. And if this soulmate legend is true, wouldn't it be crappy to find your soulmate and she sucks?""What would she... Ah. I understand. Yes, you are being illogical. I do not wish for you to be anything but who you are. If you invest energy to be different, how can I get to know you?"That made sense. "But what if I'm not good enough for you if I am myself?"He merely shook his head and pulled you closer. "Do not ever think you could not be good enough", Spock murmured into your hair. "No wonder you are tired. Let us go to bed. I will hold you if you let me and tomorrow will already look different. Better."When you were in his arms, his heat warming your tense muscles, you had to smile to yourself. Without knowing or planning Spock had given you the best Valentine's Day possible. Cuddling in bed. What more did you need?

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