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“Awww, that someone I once oh so trusted would turn on me is so despairful!“ Makoto awoke in a cold sweat yet again that night. Lately, this sentence, that Junko had uttered on that fateful day, wouldn't go out of his head. Something about him made a shudder run down his spine time and time again. It followed him in his dreams since the night they were free, after which they were also rescued by the Future Foundation. “Hey, Makoto? Are you alright?“ Asahina asked as she came sneaking into his room. Had he screamed again? Makoto nodded his head as he slowly sat up. “Sorry that I woke you up.“ She shook her head. “It's fine, it wasn't loud this time. And I wasn't asleep anyway. So I guess the others probably didn't hear it.“ That got a chuckle out of Makoto as the brown-haired girl turned on the light. “You really think Kirigiri-san would overhear something like this, Asahina-san?“ “I told you to call me Aoi!“ “Sorry, sorry.“ “And don't apologize so much!“ “Sor–“ he started but stopped when Asahina glared in his direction. He couldn't suppress a sigh. “Sorry to have worried you. You can go back now.“ She nodded hesitantly and turned around to walk away, but stopped after a moment in front of the switch. “Was it... was it what she said again?“ “Huh?“ Makoto couldn't help but blink in confusion. “Well,“ Asahina said as she turned her head around to look at him, her eyes showing her worry clearly, “Enoshima. What she said in the last trial. I had a feeling that that was what was bothering you.“ Even if many people thought that Asahina was a dense and oblivious idiot (as often stated by some of the members of the Future Foundation he came across), she wasn't like that at all. Or more like, that wasn't all that she was. “Don't worry about it, I'm fine,“ Makoto answered her with a small smile. He was really grateful that Asahina was his friend. That all of them were his friends. Asahina still looked unconvinced. “Now please go to bed, Asah– Aoi-san. You have a meeting tomorrow if I remember correctly, right? You need your sleep.“ Asahina briefly looked like she wanted to protest but thought better about it and closed her mouth, nodded and closed the door after turning off the lights and walking out of the door. Time to try to get at least some sleep again. They have been actively apart of the Future Foundation for about one and a half months now, but people were still going crazy about the 'Survivors of the Next-Generation Killing Game'. Makoto also quickly learned that it was forbidden for the others to talk about Junko or any of the so-called 'Ultimate Despair' when he, or the other survivors, were present. He didn't know why but didn't question it much either, even if he would like to know more about their enemies other than 'they brought the world despair and are the root of all our problems'. It was fine though. There was also that one meeting room where he wasn't allowed to go in under any circumstances. That was weird, but nothing too strange. “Hey, isn't it super weird that a former Ultimate Despair's now suddenly helping us?“ “Psht, you idiot! If someone hears you–!“ “What are you talking about?“ Makoto asked with his signature smile on his face as two of his coworkers shrieked back in shock. “N-Naegi-san! We talked about nothing important!“ He tilted his head. “Is that so? You mentioned something about–“ “Naegi.“ Munakata's voice resounded and the other two saw that as a good time to escape. (He would've heard the quiet “And now he's the Ultimate Hope, isn't that a joke?“ in the background if he hadn't gone with Munakata just then.) His relationship with Munakata was truly a wonderful one– no, rather the complete opposite. Makoto didn't know what he had done except maybe, like many other people said, killing the leader of the world's most dangerous organization (he stopped trying to protest after the first few times of getting an essay why he was indeed the saviour of the world), but Munakata didn't seem to like him all that much. Bad thing about that was that they literally saw each other every other day because Tengan told Munakata to 'take good care of him and watch him so he doesn't do anything stupid'. What was that supposed to mean?! Maybe Munakata was just bad at showing feelings? That could be. The others seemed to like him though (except for Sakakura, Izayoi who glared at him everytime they came across each other and Mitarai, who flinched back everytime he as much as breathed in his direction), so that was good. He didn't really have other people besides the one he already met in the Killing Game that he was friends with. Sure, he was friendly with all of them, but that didn't mean that they were friends. But Andou gave him candy from time to time, so that was something, right? (Although he never really ate them because before he could, Kimura dragged her away everytime.) What was so good about him killing Junko anyway? It was probably because he couldn't really remember being there as the world got turned on its head but there was still that certain disconnection to the events that happened. Not to the killing game, mind you, he was very much conscious or with memories there, but everything before that? A small part in his head argued against him that he killed her. He killed his classmate. For a reason he couldn't even remember. That the others just told him. That he was too oblivious to the truth. That he was forgetting something very important. (“Awww, that someone I once oh so trusted would turn on me is so despairful!“ Something about the way she directed that at him struck him in a weird way.) Makoto was currently making his way to the cafeteria to meet up with Asahina and Hagakure but before he could reach it, a man came running down the hall and stopped in front of him, panic evident on his face. “M-Makoto-s-san! There's an e-emergency! Please report to Munakata 'Emergency Level 3' immediately!“ “H-Huh? Emergency Level 3?“ He only knew about Emergency Level 1 (“What does that mean, Munakata-san?“ “It means that enemies – Monokuma soldiers, a huge number of them – are in front of the gate or attacking one of the sanctuaries.“) and Emergency Level 2 (“And that one is a signal that the Ultimate Despair's themselves are attacking us – or the sanctuaries – directly.“), but Emergency Level 3 was new to him. Maybe he had forgotten to ask? “M-Makoto-san hurry up!“ “A-Alright but why can't you do it yourse–“ “Just do it!“ The force and urgency in the man's voice made Makoto flinch back and then turn around and run in the direction of the room Makoto knew Munakata was in– he knew that he shouldn't go in there now, because the division heads had a meeting but if it was really that urgent, he couldn't just do nothing. Maybe Emergency Level 3 was just too rare for him to know about. Munakata had just forgotten to tell him. Are we talking about the same Munakata here? “G-Got it!“ Makoto screamed and ran for his life and he didn't know why. Now that he thought about it, wouldn't an Emergency Level have been announced through the speakers...? He could worry about that later, first he had a meeting to interrupt. “Munakata-san!“ he screamed as he slammed the door open, the resounding thud echoing through the stilling meeting room that he was strictly forbidden to go into. He himself froze as he saw the people – Ultimate Despair, his mind concluded – on the big screen in front of him. Sixteen people, all looking more fearsome than the next. Their red eyes looked vicious, their whole posture looked vicious. Malicious. Evil. Not even Junko looked like this. Not this lost. Pink hair, fedora, long gray hair, nurse, scarf, predator, electricity, musician, chef, princess, white hair that looked oh so familiar– Kirigiri stood up from her position in the chair. “Makoto!“ Every division head was gathered around a big table, now staring at him. Some in shock, some in disgust and some in hatred. “What are you doing here?“ Munakata said, tone sharp and alert as he quickly turned off the screen. “Um,“ Makoto said as he grew nervous, just now realizing what he had just interrupted without really thinking about this. He slapped his cheeks with both hands (confusing the others) and looked up again with newfound confidence, “I'm sorry but this is important.“ “What is it?“ Kirigiri asked, her voice rushed, “Makoto, why are you here?“ That was the closest he's ever seen her to being scared. What was wrong? “Someone came running towards me,“ he said and shrunk back as Munakata, Sakakura and Izayoi glared at him. “H-He said that... there was an Emergency... Emergency Level 3. U-Um, i-if I'm allowed to ask–“ “Who asked you that?“ Sakakura snapped and came walking towards him, hovering over him as he came to a halt in front of him. Makoto took a glance past Sakakura and saw all of them tense up as they realized (what he did not) what was most likely happening one after another. “I-It was, u-uh, someone w-with b-black hair? B-Black eyes? P-Pretty generic looking... I-I've never a-actually seen them a-around, b-but that's n-normal with s-so many different d-divisions- right?“ He was just searching for the validation, really. But by all the different kinds of tense expressions he got in return, he realized that there was something wrong. But not what. “Gozu, Sakakura.“ Tengan said and both of them, even though Sakakura tched in annoyance, left the room in a hurry. After that, he turned to Gekkougahara and nodded. Her pink rabbit jumped up and down and clapped her hands as Gekkougahara nodded. She turned her wheelchair around and drove over to him. The rabbit on display, Usami, smiled at him and swung her staff around. “Naegi-kun let's have a talk, alright?“
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
And now here he was, sitting in his room (with a girl, alone) together with none other than the 7th division head, Gekkougahara Miaya. “W-What did you want to talk about, Gekkougahara-san?“ “Nothing much, just talk with you,“ she (or more like the rabbit on the screen) answered him, “I know that everything must be very stressful for you, so if you wanna talk about anything at all, just tell me!“ It was kind of strange that she wanted to talk to him out of nowhere, but she was the Ultimate Therapist, so maybe he looked like he needed help? Who wouldn't after everything he went through? (But why hadn't they thought about this earlier?) And he did want to talk about that whole Junko thing... but that was a bit too personal for him. So maybe he shouldn't? He was probably just thinking about it too much anyway. “I'm fine, but I appreciate it, thanks,“ he said before he had the chance to think it over. “Alright, but just remember to come to talk to me if there's anything wrong! I'm here for you!“ Even if it wasn't really that obvious, he could see the rabbit's mood dropping. Now he did feel bad. As Gekkougahara was about to leave the room, he called out to her. “P-Please wait!“ “What is it, Naegi-kun?“ she stated as she turned around to look at him again. “T-There,“ he started as he fumbled with his hands and averted his gaze, “There is something I would like to t-talk about...“ There was the medical confidentiality, right? Or did that not apply here? He hoped it did. He really hoped that. “Okay,“ she answered and returned to her prior position, “What is it that you want to talk about?“ “I-It's about Junko.“ (Monaca grinned.) “Naegi-kun?“ Yukizome called out to him after he waved goodbye to Gekkougahara. Their conversation was emotionally exhausting, at least for him. And even if she said almost nothing, Makoto did indeed feel better because now he had told someone. He could never talk about this with his friends, even if Kirigiri and Asahina knew. (“Every night, I have the same dream,“ he had started hesitantly, “O-Of what Junko s-said that day. 'Awww, that someone I once oh so trusted would turn on me is so despairful!' What is that supposed to mean?“ Gekkougahara pondered about it for a moment before she answered. “I can remember you two being close before all this happened. Maybe she was referring to that.“ “Close? Me? With Junko?“ He still couldn't get out of his head that she was the one who started the Killing Game in the first place. That still wasn't a good reason for him to be glad over her death, him killing her. “Yeah, I actually never saw you two alone, without each other. I was already wondering what was going on there,“ she giggled. “W-What?“ “What I'm saying is, you two were probably a thing at one point! I don't know for sure though.“ Why was she saying this so happily? Didn't she hate Junko like all the others? “I-I don't understand–“ he had answered, starting to shiver all over, trying to block out the voice that was invading his mind like a virus. 'Heyyyyy, wait up, small guy!' 'Makoto-chaaaaaan, I don't wanna go to that shooting!' 'What...? Wow that came outta nowhere but yeah sure why not!' 'Why I'm doing all this? Shouldn't that be obvious?' 'Awww, Makoto-chan, don't be like that!' 'Pffffft, you're hilarious Makoto-chan!' 'Awww, that someone I once oh so trusted would turn on me is so despairful!' “We should stop for today.“ Gekkougahara said, snapping him out of his panic. “Have a nice day, Naegi-kun!“ “Good...bye...?“ That was abrupt.) “What is it, Yukizome-san?“ “Just checking up on you,“ she said, “You looked pretty out of it earlier.“ Makoto averted his gaze in shame, “I'm sorry for interrupting like that...“ “Oh no, it's not a problem!“ Yukizome laughed and Makoto looked at her in wonder, “We were just talking about what the others found inside of your old school!“ After a few seconds, she seemed to realize her mistake and laughed nervously, “Don't tell anyone I told you that, alright?“ He was going overboard with his next question for sure but... “Did they find anything interesting?“ “I shouldn't talk about it... but you know about it now anyway,“ the former teacher of Hope's Peak said and sighed, “We found a diary, written by someone that has probably important information on the Ultimate Despairs, but it's locked with a password. And we can't break it open, whatever we try.“ “Oh...“ Makoto said, already resigning to his fate that he would never get to know any of that. “We've stored it in the meeting room for the time being,“ Yukizome said as she turned around to leave, “Don't think too much about it though.“ I think it was obvious at that point what Makoto would do. He knew that he wasn't allowed in there, he knew, but he had a feeling that he knew what the password was. He didn't know how or why, but he did. Something in the back of his mind whispered to him that he should try and he would surely find out something. Information that the Future Foundation was keeping secret from him but that he needed to know. Inside the room that was oh-so-important. So, at night when he knew that no one would be in there, he sneaked out of his room and ran (although silently and trying to evade security cameras) through the halls to the meeting room. The only problem would be the locked door– but to his surprise, it wasn't locked. Like someone had purposefully not locked the door. He went into the room and closed the door behind him. Upon looking around, the first thing he noticed (after he had switched on the light) was that there weren't any security cameras in here. Well, good for him. The weird thing was that the room looked like any other meeting room in this building. There wasn't anything special about it. 'Oh, please. You don't seriously believe that that's all there is to this room, do you?' a voice mocked him. That voice sounded familiar but not at the same time, confusing him. 'I would've expected more from you. Well, who can blame you? You fell victim to the evil Hope, after all. But to be fair, it was kind of our fault.' “Who is there...?“ Makoto whispered to himself, getting a headache and feeling dizzy all of a sudden. The voice laughed. (Makoto looked around the room in a panic, before closing his eyes in pain.) 'Funny of you to ask.' And all at once, the dizziness vanished and his headache subsided. When he opened his eyes, he came face to face with the screen that had been turned on earlier.
That's it... Maybe, just maybe...
He turned the screen on after a few minutes of searching for the button. This time, when he saw all the people on the screen, he shrieked and fell backwards. “W-What?“ He scrambled to his feet, in a dire need to find that diary that Yukizome had talked about earlier. He opened one drawer, two drawers, three drawers– there it was.
D S P R
Putting in the password, it opened.
April 7th 20XX
Dear Diary,
I know it's silly but I've thought about writing a diary for a while now... And what better opportunity to start it then on my first day of attending Hope's Peak?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Makoto just stared at these two single sentences in silent shock, his mind a jumbled mess. That... that was his handwriting. It was – Was that his only chance at getting to know what happened to him – to the others – what happened in their missing memories in general? That was his only chance, wasn't it? They would never tell him – they would never tell him anything he would find out about inside of his own diary. 'You should steal it. Nobody has the right to read it except for you.' the voice whispered and Makoto shivered because it felt like it uttered these words right beside his ear, imaginary hands gripping his shuddering shoulders. Stealing it would be too obvious– wouldn't it? His head snapped to the door– were those footsteps? 'Just take it. It's yours anyway.' He slammed the drawers shut – wincing at the noise it made – and turned off the screen displaying all sixteen Ultimate Despairs, before he hurried (diary in hand) over to a desk at the far end of the room and hid behind it as the doors to the meeting room slowly opened. “You really don't need to worry too much,“ Yukizome's voice echoed throughout the big room as Munakata looked around the room warily, “I just forgot to turn off the light and lock the door is all. Happens all the time.“ The light! Makoto wanted to slap himself. But it looked like Yukizome thought that she just forget to turn it off... And forgot to lock the door. “Now come on, Kyousuke, you need your beauty sleep!“ Munakata nodded hesitantly (holding back a protest) and both he and Yukizome left the room without another word being said (or more like, Yukizome dragging him out). Click. “You see? It's locked so you really–“ Yukizome added but her voice was growing fainter and fainter until he couldn't hear anything anymore. There was just silence. No, he realized with a start, I'm locked in here now, aren't I?! He ran over to the now locked door and tried to open it desperately, but it wouldn't budge. He looked at one of the windows in the room. Was that really his only escape route? They were on the fourth floor! He could wait until someone else came in. But what if someone was looking for him so early in the morning? Unlikely, but it was still a possibility! And if he was found out, he was screwed as well! Makoto tugged at his hair in frustration. What should he do?! 'It's easy: Jump.' No, no, no! Worst case scenario, he would die or break all of the bones in his body! 'Come on now,' the voice reassured him and he couldn't help but calm down when he heard said voice, 'You won't die. Or break all of your bones. You know that they would never let that happen to you, do you?' He walked over to the window. Opened it. Looked down. I can't, his mind screeched in alarm, I will die, I will die, I will die! 'Are you despairing yet?' it chuckled. What? Despair... No. Not all Hope's lost yet. He could do this, right? Right. (He could swear that he heard something like a groan from the voice.) He took a deep breath, walked onto the windowsill (tightened his hold on his diary) and closed his eyes.
Don't think too much about it. Don't look down. Hope that everything will be alright. If you die, that's fine, you did everything you could. You're screwed either way. It's going to be fine.
…And jumped.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
…And jumped. Thunk. He honestly expected more of an impact with the ground, but there was none except for the feeling of someone catching him before he passed out. “You really are too predictable, Naegi Makoto.“ Before him stood someone– himself. The weird thing was that the form of him flickered between three images. Normal him, the exception being his flaring red eyes, was one of them. The other two were hard to identify, but they were there. One that looked like a Junko version of him – if he saw it correctly – and the other that wore the exact same outfit two of the Ultimate Despairs had worn – the white haired boy and him. Was that really him? What... had happened to him? “Big mistakes were made,“ it answered his question, “Big mistakes that weren't mistakes after all. Depends on how you look at it, I guess. For me, it's not a mistake anymore. For you? Probably the opposite.“ Makoto felt oddly calm. The other him suddenly appeared behind him. “We're you after all! It's totally normal that you feel calm around yourself, silly!“ Did... the screen not lie when it showed him... the sixteen Ultimate Despairs, himself included? It didn't look like it anymore. It would explain why everyone – except for his frenemies – was so wary around him. Well, almost everyone. Maybe everything was a lie. He didn't know. No, he shouldn't doubt his friends like that! That wasn't right! He had bonded with everyone through the– “Oh, please,“ the voice sneered, “Don't be so naive.“ What? “You noticed, right? They're not just wary, they're scared. Mitarai is the prime example of that, not that I'm blaming him. Andou was never nice to you in the first place, haven't you noticed that she poisoned the candy and that's why Kimura held her back from giving them to you?“ it said, “Can you be friends with someone you're scared of? Can you really? Kirigiri looked panicky as well when she saw you coming in. What do you think would happen when, say, someone like Hagakure finds out about it? Or Asahina?“ Huh? “You're a part of Ultimate Despair and that will never change. As long as you're alive, you will have no one who accepts you but Ultimate Despair. Your fate changed the moment you fell in love with her. That's nothing a little memory-erasing can fix. It's just temporary.“ it continued, “Your actions can't be undone. You've killed, Makoto. You've ruined innocent's lives.“ Huh? “So, tell me, do you really think you can just go back to your supposed friends like nothing happened with the knowledge of what you are? What you've done?“ it asked, “Will you really be able to face them?“ Huh? Huh huh huh huh huh huh- “Even without your memories, I know the answer. I'm you, after all.“ Makoto's eyes snapped open. The first thing he noticed was that he was sweating. The second thing he noticed was that he clutched his diary tightly against his chest. The third thing he noticed was a shadow leaving the room quietly. The fourth thing he noticed was a note lying on top of his nightstand. He slowly sat up, putting the diary to the side. Looking out the window, he noticed that it was still dark out. Cautiously, he took the note into his hands. 'Come to the maingate tomorrow night.' it read. No name. ...He didn't need to see a name to know who wrote that note. He stared at the wall in front of him for a while, contemplating on what to do. He looked down at the diary, lying innocently by his side, beckoning him to read it. He reached out, unlocked it, and read.
[April 7th 20XX]
Dear Diary,
I know it's silly but I've thought about writing a diary for a while now... And what better opportunity to start it then on my first day of attending Hope's Peak?
Anyway, my first day was pretty good, to be honest. Even though I feel pretty weird with being in the presence of such amazing people... I'm just an Ultimate Lucky Student, after all.
I also met Maizono Sayaka again. The Ultimate Idol. I went with her to middle school and I'm amazed that she remembered me. I didn't think that that would happen – that I would befriend a celebrity. Although it's wrong for me to say that I only like her because she's a celebrity! That's not true! She's really nice too... Probably the nicest out of everyone.
Ishimaru, the Ultimate Moral Compass was pretty mad at me for being five minutes too late. I can understand his rage, but... Isn't that a bit too much? The teacher wasn't even there yet.
Oowada punched me. Because he thought I thought I was better than him because he wouldn't stop insulting the others and I just... told him that that isn't right. It hurt, but I'm pretty sure that he's also a nice guy. I could be wrong though.
Asahina is a ball of energy. She's tiring, but that's not exactly unwelcome. She was one of the nicer people too.
Along with Oogami and oh god I almost asked her if she was a guy! I'm so happy that I didn't!
Fujisaki is really cute, not gonna lie. But she cries easily when she thinks you're mad at her. Or hate her. Or something. Though I feel like she's lying about something... I just don't know what exactly she's lying about... I will probably find out at some point. Or maybe I'm just too suspicious of everything and everyone.
Hagakure is... eh... how can I say that without being mean? Um, he's... not someone I would want to be friends with. Not at all. I have my suspicions that he's doing illegal things...
Fukawa was... a handful. But that sounds rude. I'm sure she's just really insecure and is scared to let people in. She looked frightened when it looked like she would sneeze. She didn't. I wonder what's up with that?
Togami was annoyed throughout the whole day. Oh and also, Fukawa followed him around. That... was probably what annoyed him.
Yamada already started shipping them. Oh god.
Celestia Ludenberg... that can't be her real name. If she's japanese and has that name... that's just not possible. Maybe she's just embarrassed of her real name? Does it have something to do with trauma? I can only speculate at this point in time.
Kuwata made it clear from the start that he hated baseball. Which was... weird, to say the least. I would've never expected to meet an Ultimate that hates their talent.
Kirigiri might've been a bit cold, but I'm sure that she's also good on the inside. Maybe she'll warm up to us?
Ikusaba was the same, just that she seemed even colder. Every time I tried talking to her, she tried to avoid eye contact and tried to shake me off. I was persistent and smiled at her while introducing myself. That was like, after half of the day was over because she would always evade me. Can I also say that I think her talent is pretty amazing? Yeah.
Lastly, Enoshima Junko.
…
Hey, if someone, anyone reads this in a few years and we all vanished mysteriously
I'm just joking.
She seemed really friendly. Overly friendly, even. So friendly that it did seem a bit fake. I need to investigate that.
I sound like an Ultimate Detective, which I am not and will never be.
Makoto closed the book for a second and took a deep breath. He couldn't remember writing any of that. What was understandable, considering that his memories were erased but still. Funnily enough, most of those first impressions seemed to line up with his own when he 'first' met the others.
[April 8th 20XX]
I spent a bit of time with Ikusaba today.
Or, at least I tried.
Enoshima joined us at some point, while she was sharpening one of her knives – a miniature version that couldn't hurt anyone, she said – and I read a book.
Enoshima is really nice. I would've thought she would be like one of those famous models that only thought about themselves. I want to slap myself for having that prejudice.
[April 9th 20XX]
Maizono really is amazing. She sang something in music class today and it was like a private concert!
Asahina wanted me to go swimming with her. I declined because I already made plans with Yamada.
And no, I was forced into doing something with Yamada – although it wasn't so bad in the end.
[April 10th 20XX]
We took a class photo today. Sadly, Enoshima's face was blocked out by Ishimaru's arm but she was out of the room – together with Ikusaba – before any of us could ask her to stay to take another one.
I spent some time with Fujisaki today, watching her while she programmed something she called the 'Neo World Program'.
[April 11th 20XX]
Enoshima agreed to take another picture! Ishimaru was a bit dispirited because he wasn't wearing his school uniform but that wasn't really a problem.
When I walked past Enoshima's desk today, I saw some kind of sketch of a bear in her notebook. I guess she likes drawing.
[April 18th 20XX]
The last few days were pretty uneventful, to say the least.
The only thing I really did was talking with the others – most of the time with either Maizono, Fujisaki or Ishimaru. He was scary at first, but he's a really nice guy. Even though he might be a bit too... I don't have a good word for it.
Kirigiri also joined from time to time. She wanted to see the progress on the 'Neo World Program' as well – although Fujisaki was hesitant to show her at first.
Meanwhile Togami is probably still trying to avoid Fukawa. It's not working. I almost feel sorry for him.
[April 19th 20XX]
I went swimming with Asahina (and Oogami, who decided to join as well) today! That was the only thing that happened today.
Well, if you don't count me struggling with school stuff.
[April 21th 20XX]
The upperclassmen are really nice! They welcomed us. Some of them. They said that most of them just didn't go to school because it isn't mandatory. Which seems really weird to me because nobody from our class skips class because 'it isn't mandatory'. Okay, Kuwata and Oowada skip class sometimes but
[April 22th 20XX]
I was cut off there, sorry about that! I was writing that at the end of school and Enoshima came talking to me. I kind of forgot about it after that.
Anyway, today I spent a bit more time with Ikusaba and found out that she was homeless for a bit when she was young. She only hinted at it but yeah.
Enoshima and Ikusaba were twins, right? So why did they have different last names?
Maybe I'll discover that later.
[April 24th 20XX]
I spent a bit of time with Oowada, Kuwata and Fujisaki, who seemed to get along well. I don't know why all of a sudden, but I'm happy for them.
...I swear to god if Yamada turns this into something weird I'm going to kill him.
Not literally though.
Just please don't.
[April 30h 20XX]
I'm still struggling in school, but Ishimaru said that he would help me out. I'm not sure if I should be happy or terrified.
Thankfully, Fukawa and Hagakure also said that they need help (although Fukawa didn't really admit it at first), so I'm not the only one who's going to be reprimanded by Ishimaru for 'not learning enough'.
Am I too cruel?
[May 2nd 20XX]
The day of the studying has come. I'm a bit scared, to be honest.
In a few minutes, I'll be off to Ishimaru's place.
Update: It went horribly. I'm so going to fail that next test.
[May 10th 20XX]
I spent the last few days studying.
Kirigiri helped me out a bit, surprisingly.
[May 12th 20XX]
Update on my test: I did it! Kirigiri really helped me. I don't think that I failed... not horribly, at least... Hopefully.
Kirigiri, Fujisaki and I met up again.
Matsuda Yasuke, the Ultimate Neurologist, joined for like a minute before he left again.
Fujisaki said that Matsuda only gave her some test results back.
[July 24th 20XX]
I found my diary again. I can't believe it. I thought I lost it.
It just... vanished one day. Did someone steal it? But why would they give it back? Or steal it in the first place?
I'm confused but well. What can I do?
I didn't really do much in these two months, to be honest. I was learning, met up with the others...
Unfortunately, Ikusaba seemed to avoid me again. I was already hoping that she would finally talk with me normally. Enoshima seemed to avoid me as well.
Komaeda is the Ultimate Lucky Student one year above me. I ran into him in the hallway again and I have the feeling he didn't know how to feel about me.
And Celestia invited me to a gambling session tomorrow, I think!
[July 25h 20XX]
Maybe I shouldn't have accepted the invitation. I lost.
I was playing various games with Celestia, Komaeda and the principal and oh my god. I'm embarrassed to say that I lost every game.
Even though Komaeda is 'just' an Ultimate Lucky Student, selected by a lottery, he seems to have an unnatural amount of luck. Not like me. I'm surprised my title isn't 'Ultimate Unlucky Student' because I seem to trip often lately.
[July 27th 20XX]
We had a sports festival today.
I wanna sink into the ground in shame.
My stamina and strength are really no good.
And I think the others made pictures as well.
At least we got to relax in the pool area after it!
[July 29h 20XX]
It turns out that most of those pictures don't show Enoshima's face. What bad luck, right?
She must be frustrated as well.
I also visited Fujisaki again! He said that he's almost done with the first half of the programming with the Neo World Program! Still not sure what it's for – and he's not telling me either – but I'm happy for him!
Oh yeah, I found out about his secret by accident. How he was able to always avoid being found out is a miracle to me, honestly.
Still kinda embarrassed that I had a bit of a crush on him back then.
[September 9th 20XX]
Mioda and Saionji are awesome. We went to one of their performances today and were amazed by how they were harmonizing with each other.
I also have a bad feeling. Something is wrong. Something is seriously wrong, but no one else seems to think that. Am I just paranoid?
[October 10th 20XX]
We had a movie night today. We all watched a few movies together until we fell asleep.
[October 30th 20XX]
We all studied together. Koizumi came over and helped us out.
[October 31th 20XX]
I spent some time with Enoshima again. She's really nice, isn't she?
[November 6th 20XX]
Her laugh is nice. I could listen to her hours on end. She's also really beautiful, why haven't I noticed that before? I mean, I did but...
Kirigiri interrupted us and dragged me out of the room. Asked me what was going on.
Nothing's wrong. I just...
[November 16th 20XX]
Is this what falling in love feels like? Not wanting anything else than to be by that person's side? Wanting the other to be happy even if you'll suffer?
Maybe I should try asking her out... Problem is that I'm not in her league. But... she did spend much time with me, right?
[November 20th 20XX]
I was so nervous but I finally asked her out! I can't believe that she feels the same!
He couldn't believe what he was reading.
[December 24th 20XX]
It's Junko's (and Ikusaba's) birthday today. I told her that we could do whatever she wanted to do.
…
I regret my decision.
[December 31th 20XX]
She showed me her different personalities. Or more like, she finally feels comfortable enough to be herself. Which makes me happy, definitely, but
I was a bit creeped out at first. But now I'm fine.
[January 7th 20XX]
My parents vanished. I'm scared.
[February 1st 20XX]
'Despair'?
That's what she calls her own existence. I'm worried about her. But I also know that she's not right in the head. I want to help her, before it's too late.
[February 5th 20XX]
I got my birthday present.
I'll never see my parents ever again.
Please help me.
[April 28th 20XX]
It was Komaeda's birthday today. We threw a party for him, but he set the whole thing on fire. He thinks it's his luck, but I think it's mine.
[May 11th 20XX]
Komaru vanished as well.
I'm worried.
Junko said that it's going to be alright.
I believe her.
[June 17th 20XX]
Her plan
I need to stop her
It's
[ October 25th 20XX]
I have to say, everyone is really nice. I wouldn't have thought that they would still be this nice after everything that happened. Not that I'm complaining.
I know what Junko meant now.
[December 24th 20XX]
I... can't believe that I'm saying this. If anyone ever finds this, help me. Help them. Help her. We need help and I can't do it alone. Not anymore. I'm starting to change. I read my last entry and feel sick. She's doing things to us.
I tried. I really, seriously tried but I can't. Not anymore. If anyone finds me like this, 'not being like myself' they would say – and they're really just referring to my repulsing Despair-self – and I'm scared. I'm scared to lose myself.
I'm really, really scared. Please.
I'll try to send this diary to someone, anyone but I don't think that'll work.
If anyone does read this, stop Junko, stop Enoshima Junko. She's trying to
[April 7th 20XX]
Sheesh. Can you be anymore repulsing, as you so nicely put it? Hahaha, excuse my former self. I'm actually scared by just looking at this. I asked Souda to help me seal this and he agreed. Well. This'll vanish into the deepest depths of my things now. The plan will start soon. I'm looking forward to it. We all are looking forward to the despair that it will bring us and her, most of all.
He was met by blank pages. The fifth thing he noticed were the cameras that glinted in the light of the slowly rising sun and footsteps echoing in the distance.