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Howard Stark didn’t really want a child. He wanted an heir, and he wanted the media to see him as a family man, because it was good for the company’s image, but he didn’t really want a child and he certainly didn’t want Tony.Maria though, Maria was long past what Howard wanted, and already disillusioned about what kind of a man he was. She’s been through wondering what had she been thinking when she married him (money, charm, and a whole lot of lies) and whether she should divorce him (money, influence, and the man needed a fucking babysitter, she was doing public service by staying) and by now has settled into a comfortable state of ignoring her husband.It wasn’t ideal but it wasn’t a bad life, full of luxury and freedom. And now that Howard decided he needed an heir, Maria finally felt something akin to happiness. Howard may just want his little clone to take over the comapny one day but Maria? Maria wanted a baby. And Howard could give her that.Tony was amazing. He was Howard’s child in so many ways despite the man’s harsh ignorance for the boy. A little genius with a Stark mind, he was still Maria’s little boy, and she made sure he got to grow up loved. He had her, and he had Jarvis, who was more like his father than Howard would ever be, and despite a tough fate of a Stark, Maria knew that Tony... Tony would be fine.„Mamma? Why is papa stinky again?”She looked at the toddler suddenly by her feet with a sad smile. Tony may be hers, but unfortunately, Howard was still around.„It doesn’t matter, honey. Come to mamma.”Yes. Despite everything, he still had her, and he was amazing all on his own. Tony would be fine.***Three years later, when she held Tony close during Howard’s funeral and tried to look heartbroken, she finally believed herself.He was gone and they would be fine.***Rebecca waited until the night. She grabbed Bruce immediately and she locked him in his room, focusing Brian’s rage on herself, but she knew it was the time. She would never let him hurt her boy. Brian hitting little Bruce was the line.She waited until her nose stopped bleeding and Brian was passed out on the couch before grabbing some of most neccessary things into a bag and letting herself and Bruce out. It was already the night, and Bruce was already quite heavy at five years old, but she ran the fastest she ever had in her life. She knew he didn’t hear them leave but the sheer terror was still there, channeled into speed, Bruce’s scared and confused face pressed into her face. She only stopped running once they reached the bus station, looking for a nearest bus and almost exhaling in relief when she noticed a late night bus to New York on the platform.New York. New York would do.„Two tickets. Adult and a child.”The driver grumbled the amount and she paid, looking over her shoulder, before settling herself in an empty row. As the bus left, slowly taking her off into the unknown new reality, she found herself feeling more relieved than anxious. For the first time in over half a decade, she felt safe.Brian could rot in his own vomit and vodka. She would keep Brucie safe.***New York was... big. Big, complicated, and absolutely terrifying. Rebecca got of a bus, and onto a subway train, and ended up in what was apparently Manhattan. She was lost and tired, and had no idea where to even look for a shelter or a cheap hotel, and little Bruce was crying quietly into her shoulder, complaining about being hungry.So Rebecca decided to focus on one thing at a time, and walked into the first diner she came across that looked within her price range. She would need to figure out how to secure her financial situation soon, but for now all that mattered was getting inside where it’s warm and getting Bruce a meal.She entered, settling Bruce down to walk by her side, looking around for a free table. She felt like crying when she realized there was no free space, but she didn’t have the strength to walk back outside and keep looking, let alone keep looking for something. One of the bigger tables that could easily work for four was only taken by two people though, a mother with a son who looked Bruce’s age, and swallowing down her anxiety, Rebecca found enough courage to approach them.„I’m so sorry but are these seats taken? There are no free tables and--”The woman smiled at her warmly, cutting her off.„It’s no problem. Please, sit with us.”Rebecca put her bag down, her shoulder screaming in happiness, and sat down next to the woman, finding herself smiling slightly as she watched Bruce climb onto a chair next to the woman’s son.„Hey. I’m Tony.”The boy was clearly so much more open and easy-going than her little Bruce, but her boy still managed to surprise her, when even after a long and exhausting journey, he looked at the other child and answered quietly.„I’m Bruce.”Tony clearly took it as an incentive, because suddenly he declared they should be friends, and started talking a mile a minute. Strangely, Bruce didn’t look too intimidated and seemed to be actually listening carefully as Rebecca scanned the menu.„I’m sorry. He doesn’t get much interaction with children his age. I think he’s just excited. I’m Maria.”Rebecca looked up to find the boy’s mother speaking to her. She smiled, taking the offered hand.„Rebecca. It’s alright. My little Bruce is usually so shy and quiet it’s honestly nice to see him bond with someone his age.”„He seems to be following Tony’s train of thought and honestly that enough is quite amazing. Most of the time I barely understand my own son.” She laughed, and Rebecca for the first time noticed she’s quite beautiful. „You’ve got a clever boy here.”„I do.”She smiled, looking at him, and then back at Maria. Maria was beautiful indeed. She looked perfectly put together, seemingly casual and yet almost... aristocratic. She was wearing jeans and a light pink blouse, her make up natural and perfectly done, and blond hair hangs loosely around her face in a neat way that shouldn’t be possible. She looked so in place here, in Rebecca’s eyes, a Manhattan woman of success, rich, happy mother, with a loving husband probably waiting home.It was a stark contrast to Rebecca’s own dishevelled appearance. Her hair was messy, sticking out of a makeshift bun, jeans worn and she knew her sweater has a hole. Make up was something she couldn’t remember using for years.They were from two different world, meeting by complete accident, and it made Rebecca suddenly self conscious. At least the boys seemed to be getting together quite well, even Bruce talking animatedly to his new friend by now. It was something Rebecca wouldn’t have imagined possible.The waitress arriving broke her out of the reverie and she ordered, Maria ordering after her, a truly ridiculous amount of food that didn’t seem to make sense for just a woman with a child.„We can share some of snacks.”Maria winked at her, and Rebecca’s mood dropped even further. She knew Maria was probably just being nice but she still felt like a charity case and as much as she hated it, she couldn’t afford to refuse it right now.„So are you on your way somewhere?”Maria asked, nodding in the direction of the bag. Rebecca followed her gaze, staring at the small duffel that held everything she had right now for a moment.„No. No, I think... We’re...” She seemed lost for words suddenly, her heart rate speeding up uncomfortably. „It’s a bit complicated, I guess. We’ll be staying... For a few days at least, maybe? I don’t know... Where, I... It’s... It’s...”She sighed, realizing just how hopeless she sounded, she was. She bowed her head, focusing on a napkin she was unconsciously playing with. She wondered how to say it but Maria interrupted her.„Hey, if you don’t have a place to stay yet, you can stay at mine. We have a lot of guest space and live close enough. No use spending money on the hotel.”Rebecca closed her eyes, her whole body tensing. The offer was so genuine, sounded so simple, and yet everything in Rebecca screamed. She should take it, she knew, hotels would probably be so expensive around here and she didn’t know where to ask for a shelter. (She certainly couldn’t ask a woman like Maria, after all.)On the hand there was a background picture of Brian years ago, charming, offering help, offering safety... A dream. A nightmare. She got lost in her head, because suddenly there was a hand on her forearm, and Maria’s concerned voice.„It’s alright if you don’t want to, I can point you to a good hotel...”„No, thank you. I’ll... We’d like that, if you’re really offering.”Maria smiled, and Rebecca found herself smiling in return as she looked at Bruce and Tony talking happily. It looked like her son at least would be pleased with the arrangement allowing him to keep the new friend for another while. For her boy, she would have to trust Maria. At least for now. ***„Maria...”Rebecca’s words caught in her throat as the car, already an uncomfortably expensive one, drove straight through the gates of a huge mansion in the middle of the Fifth Avenue. Oh God. Rebecca knew. She knew this was a bad idea.„This is... This is your house?”Rebecca felt a little light headed even as Maria parked the car in the garage, clearly answering the question.„I know it’s a bit much but that’s only more the reason for you to accept our welcome. We can more than afford it and all alone in a big, empty house, it would be nice to have some company.”„All alone?” Maria’s words barely registered through the shock and awe at the vast space they entered, but once they did, Rebecca focused her whole attention on the woman.„I married into this wealth but my husband died. We have a... butler, I guess is the correct term, even if he feels more like a family, but he doesn’t spend as much time around as he used to before he found his wife.”„I’m sorry for your loss.”„Don’t be.” There was something terrifyingly familiar and yet strong and awe-inspiring in Maria’s tone and small smile. She looked entirely at ease. „My husband was no loss. He wasn’t a very good father either.”Rebecca nodded, wondering if it was sort of a peace offering as she watched Tony drag Bruce away.„Don’t worry about them. Let me show you to your room. Is this all you have?”Rebecca felt burning shame as she looked at the small bag at her feet and nodded. God, so this was all real. This was happening. It still felt overwhelmingly scary as she followed Maria and tried to focus on her voice.„I can give you and Bruce separate rooms, but if you’d rather stay together, I think we can arrange for something or give you a room with a convertible sofa. That’s if the boys don’t organize a sleepover together.”She joked, and Rebecca appreciated the casual approach.„I’m fine with separate but maybe the sofa would be great in case Bruce chose to...?”Maria just nodded kindly and opened a door a few steps down the corridor.„Then feel free to make yourself at home here. There’s no time pressure and I’m not really working these days, so I’m at your service.”Rebecca felt a bit light-headed as she set the bag down because it was all too much and Maria was too kind and it was Rebecca who was imposing, who should somehow repay her, not take advantage of her openness.„Thank you.”She managed to choke out, and Maria just nodded turning to leave.„Wait.” It didn’t feel right, to not offer anything in return, not even the bare minimum of an explanation. „The... the husband thing?”Maria looked at her thoughtfully, paying careful attention and offering some sort of comforting silence. It was strange.„I understand. I... We... I needed to get Bruce out.”Maria just smiled tightly in a sympathetic, but not pitying way.„If you need to talk, I’m here.”And with that, Maria left, leaving Rebecca behind closed doors of a huge, luxurious guest suite. With the uncertainty of the situation being gone and the future slightly less urgent, she finally felt the exhaustion and emotions roll out of her, and she sat down on the bed, burying her face in her hands as she allowed herself to cry.
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It was supposed to be only for a few nights, Rebecca thinks a few months later as she sits on the sofa with a cup of tea in her hand, Maria across from her and the boys playing with Captain America and Bucky action figures on the carpet in front of them.It was supposed to be only a few nights, but then things happened so fast. It was so dangerously easy, the way they fell into a rhythm together, eating breakfast at one table, she and Maria talking more and more every day, the boys playing together like brothers.It has done wonders to Bruce, and from what Maria said, to Tony too. They were both too smart for their age and had suffered from lack of peer contact and reminders of harsh lessons from their fathers, so seeing them just playing with superhero figurines like normal, unburdened kids was sheer joy to their mothers.Rebecca and Maria... talked. It was hard, and took a while, and came in waves. Maria opened up first, her situation so much different yet relatable. It was out of the bad soon enough that she was Maria Stark, widow after the infamous weapons magnate Howard Stark and the heir to his company. Once a trophy wife questioning her decisions, she was now happy and successful woman owning the company, even if she put the reigns in others, trusted hands.And personally, not having to deal with the company herself, she had established a foundation focused on helping women who faced abuse or had nowhere to go. It was that that eventually, after a while, had helped Rebecca open up. Maria actually owned shelters, pumped her inheritance into charity, tried to make a change. Maria was helping women like Rebecca. So this was simply a bit more... direct approach.The day Rebecca admitted to Maria she ran away because Brian raised his hand at Bruce, she spent the day crying into her arms. She let out more over the few following days, and while there were still details of the story that she couldn’t bring herself to speak about, there were no real secrets between her and Maria, no pity, no awkwardness. Maria extended her invitation for Rebecca to stay around for a while because she genuinely wanted to help, and maybe enjoyed Rebecca’s company as much as she enjoyed Maria’s.That, and the boys wouldn’t hear about being separated.„Becky...” That was another thing that happened in the past few weeks. The nicknames. „I have to tell you something.”Rebecca tried to not let her smile falter, to calm her beating heart. This would be it, wouldn’t it? This whole dream was too good to be true, she had to wake up and Maria’s wary tone was like an alarm clock ringing.„It’s alright. Whatever it is, you can say.”Maria fidgeted, putting her cup down, biting her lip.„Becky, I’m so sorry about it, and before I get to the point I want you to know I only did it to protect you. It was the right thing, and I don’t regret it but... but I should have told you but I didn’t want to bring it up before I was sure it’s possible.”Rebecca listened carefully, anxious and confused. It didn’t sound good, sure, but it also didn’t sound like Maria would kick Rebecca out. And whatever Maria did sounded bad.„Maria? You’re scaring me a bit.”„Rebecca. Becky. I fully understand if I overstepped. I am sorry for going behind your back. But I do not regret I did it.” Maria took a deep breath. „Brian is dead.”Rebecca just stared at her, the words not registering, not really.„I pulled some strings to look into things. Hired a lawyer and a private investigator. Managed to get him arrested and on trial. He killed himself in his cell last night.”Rebecca’s fingers held the cup in a death grip, her body tense as a string.„I would say I’m sorry but... I’m not. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m not sorry he’s gone. I didn’t want to tell you what I did until I was sure he’s convicted but it’s a bit irrelevant right now. And sooner or later you would have to find out. He was still legally your husband when he died.”Maria felt silent then and for the longest time, they just sat like that, the only sounds in the room the faint echo of the boys' laughter. Rebecca wasn’t sure what she felt, how to react, what it meant. He was dead. She was... she was free.She put her cup down carefully and didn’t say a word, her throat too tight, but instead she reached out, tugging Maria into a hug.She supposed... she supposed Maria probably shouldn’t have gone behind her back indeed but Rebecca was glad she did. She wouldn’t be able to do this. And she wasn’t sure if she could handle knowing and waiting how things progress all those months. She didn’t mind. She couldn’t be mad at Maria for being her savior! She was just... for the first time in the longest while, she seemed genuinely happy in that weirdly light way.Tears fell onto Maria’s silky blouse and both women relaxed, melting into the embrace. Their husbands were gone, their boys were happy and the two of them? They had each other.***Months have passed and it had become impossible to deny the permanency of the situation. Maria had tentatively offered Rebecca a job in her foundation, which she happily took, throwing herself fully into the task of helping other women like her.The boys grew close but fall was coming and soon, it would be time for Bruce to begin school, which was yet another problem to tackle. Between his brilliant mind and absolute lack of social skills (which seemed to not apply only to Tony), Rebecca was a bit afraid of how it would go.„I just don’t know if I’m ready for it.”„You need to think about your options, Becky. You have those options now. You can home-school him. You can send him to a private school, to a public school, it’s your choice. You can afford whatever is best for him, now.”Rebecca sighed, leaning closer to Maria, so their foreheads were almost touching as she said, her words barely audible.„I feel like what’s best for him is not taking his Tony away.”She chuckled weakly but she was serious. Bruce and Tony were both special. Yes, they needed other peer contact but separating them, even just for school, she felt like that had the potential to not go very well.„Then don’t. Or ask them. We can send them together next year still. Or we could home-school them.”„I don’t think home-schooling is a good idea. I mean, I’m sorry, I know it’s your decision, but... I don’t want home-schooling for Bruce at least. I don’t think they would, both of them, benefit from staying inside their whole life. They are already so shy, they need some contact with other children.”Maria smiled, that genuine, open kind of smile that always made Rebecca feel dizzy.”„Don’t apologize, Becky. Those are our decisions. We chose to try and make those decisions together for the boys’ good and your opinion matters. I agree anyway. As much as I’d like to keep them here, I think going out into the world is something they need.”Rebecca sighed, feeling like that was still no answer. But at least they knew what they didn’t want.„How about we ask them?”Maria squeezed her hand gently and Rebecca smiled.„We ask them.”The boys literally hugged each other and didn’t let go for about three hours the day Maria and Rebecca suggested Bruce go to school without Tony. Just like that, the matter had been put off for another year, after deciding it was better to give Bruce one year more at home rather than taking it away from Tony. Neither of them minded.***Tony’s hair is white with flour and he is laughing, (white) hair buried in Rebecca’s black top where she caught him before he toppled off a stool. They are making home-made pasta, from Maria’s mom recipe, and the boys are having a blast making a mess out of it.Rebecca realizes she hasn’t felt that relaxed in a white. That genuinely free and happy. She and Maria exchange a poignant look and she wonders if it means something. She diverts her gaze with a blush. She feels a bit like she’s ready to start living again. She’s wasted enough time with Brain and even she doesn’t exactly regret it (Brian gave her Bruce) but it’s no use punishing herself more. She’s starting to believe she deserves something more.„Edwin? I forgot to ask you, would you mind working the night this Friday? Double pay, as always, we just have the Foundation gala, so both I and Becky should be there.”Rebecca turned to look at Maria and the family butler/babysitter/friend, thinking back to an invitation she had by her bed. She didn’t think much about it when she received but now the reality was starting to sink in. Jarvis smiled.„It’s alright, Miss Stark. With those little devils, it’s pleasure to work overtime. I don’t mind. I hope you have a good time at the gala.”Maria laughed, ruffling Bruce’s and Tony’s hair as they turned simultaneously around at the words „little devils”. Rebecca was still in awe every time she saw her Bruce smile joyfully like that.„Feel free to bring Ana along, Edwin. It’s no problem.”The man smiled, that rare sort of sheepish smile that was reserved for being teased about his fiancé and it hit Rebecca the way it did sometimes, how lucky she was to be here, to have found those wonderful people who could be so kind despite all their wealth that can be so corrupting.„The gala...” She began, uncertainly, suddenly anxious about Friday night. „What should I wear?”Maria turned to smile, or more like grin, at her, and there was something scarily mischievous in that smile.„Oh, don’t you worry about that, dear. I’m taking you shopping tomorrow!”Rebecca chuckled a bit nervously. The glee in Maria’s voice was mildly disturbing.„That sounds...”„Amazing?”„Daunting.”Rebecca smiled genuinely and Maria laughed, and the atmosphere in the room felt relaxed and familiar in a way that it never did at the Banner household. Rebecca closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of bubbling tomato sauce as she heard the splash of water when Maria threw the pasta in.That sort of a family dinner was something that Rebecca yearned when she met Brian. That was something she had come to think she would never have and yet here she was, having gotten to taste this happiness in an entirely unexpected way.„Hey.” Maria bumped into her shoulder, smiling knowingly. „You okay?”„I’m perfect.”***Daunting had proven quite right expectation for the shopping trip, but despite the overwhelming nature of it (Rebecca should have known Maria wouldn’t just take her to the mall), she had found herself quite enjoying it.It ended up with her getting the dress for the gala as well as three others just because Maria insisted, and buying some more casual clothing because her closet was still quite empty and with a steady income, it was high time she filled it up some.Eventually, Rebecca did also drag Maria to the mall, and they had a blast going through the children’s sections of the chain shops, buying a few things for the boys, including a pair of adorable twin shirts with Captain America on them.Tony was currently in an absolute hero worship phase and Bruce seemed to absorb all Tony’s interests by osmosis, so it seemed like a fitting gift. And if it would make the boys look like twins, it never occurred to the two women.Now it was Friday, and Rebecca was standing in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection with a vague sense of confusion, unable to recognize herself in the woman she was looking at.Her dress was simple but gorgeous, pinned together at the shoulders in a bateau neckline with the fabric flowing down her back and pooling at the small of her back. It was the lightest shade of lavender and went down to her ankles, stopping just short of sweeping the floor and conveniently hiding Rebecca’s lack of high heels.Her hair was pinned up, unusually neatly pulled up in an elaborate bun that was secured by a thin braid and her face seemed absolutely alien in an eerily beautiful way. She was not the same woman she was when she woke up this morning. It felt as if she had transformed and she wasn’t sure into what.She clutched onto her purse tightly, lips in a thin line as she attempted to keep the nerves at bay. This was so wrong in such a good way. She brought her hand up to adjust the mirror lightly, almost tripping when the changed angle revealed a figure standing in the door.Maria just chuckled.„Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” She came closer and Rebecca turned to face her, hoping her blush was hidden under the makeup. „You look absolutely stunning, Becky.”And that was it. That was the whole surreal feeling, the sheer absurdity. Maria Stark was standing in front of her, hair flowing down, straightened, her blood red dress matching her lipstick and she was claiming Rebecca was the one looking good.It was ridiculous. It was unreal. It must have been a dream but Rebecca really didn’t want to wake up.She didn’t want to wake up back in Ohio, with the stench of alcohol instead of sweet perfume, with Bruce’s cries instead of his laughter coming through the door.„Thank you. You look amazing too.”When Maria took her hand and led her out of the house, Rebecca allowed the touch to ground her, focusing on the sleek shine of a limousine they got into, the feeling of extensive leather against her back, the hum of the party guests in the room.She managed to actually get rid of most of her anxiety, quite a lot of which was achieved by gluing herself to Maria’s side, and she surprisingly enjoyed herself. She still refused when Maria asked her for a dance, partially out of sheer fear and partly because she was worried how the public opinion would react to Maria dancing with a woman, but the very fact Maria even asked was definitely the most important part of the evening.It was a beautiful event but nothing really special happened.And yet for Rebecca, it was an evening that changed everything. It was an evening that made her realize maybe it wasn’t a dream but it certainly wasn’t a fairy tale either.She knew she wouldn’t wake up in Brain’s bed in the morning, but she found herself wishing she could wake up in Maria’s bed instead of her own.***Maria was at her wits’ end. She wasn’t sure how else could she make it clear to Rebecca that she wanted to communicate that she wanted something more without being pushy. They were literally going out tonight to a fancy restaurant, alone, without the boys, and yet Rebecca still seemed entirely clueless to Maria’s intentions.„Are you sure you’re not tired?” Maria asked as she Rebecca joined her in the hall, ready and gorgeous in a simple dark green dress. She looked confused for a moment before Maria continued. „Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.”Rebecca chuckled at that, shaking her head fondly and walked out with Maria, the two of them getting into the back of the car (at least it wasn’t a limousine this time).„I am, actually. A little tired. But not so much I wouldn’t like to go out. It’s actually nice to have something like this to look forward to. I love the work and I’m incredibly grateful for this chance you’ve given me but between that and the boys, it’s a bit busy. Busy in a very good way, though!”Rebecca blushed and Maria smiled at her rambling, probably looking a bit lovestruck. They talked on the way, about the foundation, about life, and about the boys, because no matter how hard they tried, they could never quite turn off the mother mode completely.They took their seats in the restaurant and Maria was happy to see how relaxed Rebecca seemed here. She was rather withdrawn and pointedly uncomfortable around any sort of luxury, but having her own income and constantly living with the Starks, she had now gotten used to it.She would never be the kind of a woman to throw money around pointlessly, but Maria didn’t want her to be. She liked that Rebecca was still the same kind of a reasonable, modest person, but wasn’t afraid to be kind to herself anymore.„You know, I wanted to thank you.”„Thank me? What for? I thought we were just both having a good time.”Maria smiled, suddenly finding herself slightly blushing. Rebecca seemed to glow in the dim lights of the restaurant.„No. I mean, yes, for tonight too, you know very well I wouldn’t get out of the house myself, but also... For everything. I don’t know if I ever said. I thanked you for taking me in, for... for Brian, for what you did, but I also wanted to thank you for everything. For just being a friend. I was a stranger and you didn’t have to do all of that but you certainly didn’t have to stay in my life after. So thank you.”Maria just kept staring at her, probably a little lovestruck, touched by the sincerity in Rebecca’s words.„I think you were the first person who accepted me just the way I was. Who didn’t want to change me. So thank you.”„There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.”
Madonna Santa. Did she really just say that?
It was only the still half full plate in front of her that stopped Maria from hitting her head against the table. But Rebecca laughed. Joyful, carefree, and nothing like Maria was just painfully obvious about her crush.„I’d like that that. Maybe one day... The name is the last thing I have to get rid of him.”Maria smiled, a bit sad, her lips tight. Either she needed to stop pursuing someone who didn’t want her, or Rebecca really was the most oblivious person in the world. No matter which, nothing changed how happily Maria would give her her own last name.Rebecca Stark.It did have a certain ring to it.***Maria was away for the week, forced to fly over to another part of the country for some business meeting for Stark Industries, and Rebecca was home alone.Except she wasn’t.Because that was the beautiful thing about her new life. She was never really alone. Not just with Bruce either. It wasn’t exactly a full house and she didn’t have trouble finding time and privacy for herself, but she never felt like the house was just empty walls.It was a real home.With Maria gone, Rebecca had a week off from work at the foundation so she could focus on making sure Bruce and Tony don’t blow up the house (those two really opened up so much thanks to each other, in all the good ways and in all the mischievous ways) and be able to enjoy some time with them. But besides the boys, there was also Edwin and Ana.Edwin was always more of a friend than a butler, as far as Rebecca knew. Maria told her how before Howard’s death Edwin was the one acting more like Tony’s father than Howard himself. After Maria was left alone, he had become even closer to the Starks, helping her through the difficult time and not really bound by what Howard perceived as worker’s appropriate behavior.He was amazing and welcomed Rebecca with open arms just as much as Maria. His friendly demeanor had been incredibly helpful in helping her accept the very concept of the Starks having a butler too.Ana, Jarvis’ fiancé, wasn’t technically part of the Stark household in terms of her not being employed by them, but she practically lived there too. She was over and staying the night more often than not since the engagement, even if officially she refused Maria’s offer to just move in.„Hello, Edwin.”Rebecca smiled as she went down to the kitchen to find Jarvis already cooking what smelled like scrambled eggs with bacon. Rebecca sighed contentedly as she breathed it in and went to put on the water and make tea.Some mornings, Rebecca would still wake up with no will to get up and live on, but those were rare now. Most days she was up with the sun, happily abandoning the warm comfort of the bed to enjoy her new reality. Even after more than a year, it still felt new, but she was finally used to it.„Good morning, Ms. Banner-- I’m sorry. Rebecca.” Jarvis nodded when she glared at him, both uncomfortable with the formality and not quite happy with her surname.„Where’s Ana?”„She’s still asleep. Stayed up late sewing something no matter how much I insisted it could wait. She claimed the inspiration would be gone by the morning. Apparently, true love doesn’t know sleep.”Rebecca chuckled. Ana was a saleswoman at a tailor’s shop, but she was also a seamstress and enjoyed making her own dresses. She had talented hands and a creative mind which produced absolutely gorgeous results that Maria herself had bought, and wore, before.„She’s right. And it’s her day off. She can afford to sleep in.”Rebecca poured the water into the pot and focused on going through the motions as she and Jarvis chatted about everything and nothing. It was only a few minutes before the boys joined them, Bruce happily jumping on the chairs while Tony took his place by his friend’s side looking like he was still asleep.Rebecca wondered what was the reason since Tony was usually the morning bird between the two of them, but she decided not to question it for once. It was probably nothing anyway. When Maria was gone Tony often took advantage of her absence to read under the covers way too long.„Do you have any plans for today, Rebecca?”Jarvis smiled at her in a strange way when they were putting away the dishes, the boys already off somewhere. She smiled back.„I’ll probably see what the boys are up to and then maybe clean up a bit for Maria’s arrival tomorrow.”„That’s literally my job, if you remember.” Rebecca bit her lip to stop herself from replying. Ultimately, Jarvis wouldn’t let her do the cleaning. They’ve been over this before. „So... excited for Maria’s return tomorrow?”Jarvis gave her a sort of knowing smirk as if he knew something that Rebecca didn’t. She frowned, slightly confused.„So... Maria comes back tomorrow, doesn’t she?”Rebecca frowned at him, not really understanding where he was going considering he knew her schedule just as well as Rebecca did.„Yes?”It might have come across as more of a question than an answer and yet all Jarvis did was nod, that strange smile still present.„Okay.”He left the kitchen with a wink, leaving Rebecca blushing and more confused than ever.
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It was a morning like many others. Maria was at the counter, meticulously chopping the tomatoes into tiny, neat cubes with patience Rebecca envied her, while Rebecca herself focused on making tea, having put the bread into the oven to toast.Apparently it was called bruschetta and it was Maria’s old family recipe.The boys were helping, mixing herbs with olive oil like it was another of their science experiments under the watchful eye of Jarvis, who had a day off and made sure to make the best of it, which apparently meant hanging around his workplace, just pointedly not doing anything.He was excused by the fact Ana was at work.„Mom, can you pass me the fresh basil?”Rebecca grabbed a few leaves, turning around to hand them to Tony before the realization sank in. The boy seemed to notice too, his cheeks flushing as he avoided Rebecca’s gaze.„Thank you.”His voice was unusually quiet and hesitant this time, so uncharacteristic of him it broke Rebecca’s heart. Silence fell around the room, only the sound of boiling water interrupting it as everyone looked at the embarrassed boy.Rebecca tried to focus on Tony, ignoring Jarvis making some strange gestures at Maria, and instead, she quickly glanced at the other women, taking her nod as acceptance and moving around the table to crouch by Tony’s chair.„Tony?”„Yes, Aunt Becka?” His word choice was careful this time.„Why did you call me mom, sweetheart?”Tony looked down at his hands, brow furrowed and lips pursed in a thin line, stubbornly silent. Rebecca felt Maria join her by her son’s side.„Tony, bambino, do you want to call aunt Becka your mom? Do you see her as your second mom?”Tony seemed a bit shy, which was a strange look on him, but Maria’s presence clearly calmed him.„She lives with us. And she reads me stories to sleep, like you do, like father never did. She does all those things you do. So can’t she be mom too?”Maria had a strange kind of smile on her face and Rebecca tried to blink away tears. The two of them exchanged a look that spoke volumes before Maria turned back to Tony.„You will have to ask her, honey.”Tony swallowed, a bit nervous, before turning to Rebecca. She kept her eyes on him, trying to smile reassuringly like her heart wasn’t beating rapidly.„Can you be my mom too?”„Of course, honey.”She hugged the smaller boy tightly, a few stray tears of happiness escaping. When she pulled away she finally turned back to her Bruce, who was silent until now. His gaze was wary but settled on Maria in a determined way.„Does that mean I can call you mamma too? Mom?” He turned to Rebecca with that. „Can I call aunt Maria mamma?”Maria laughed.„Of course you can, honey. We’re all family.”And those words made Rebecca’s heart burst with joy.„Does that mean Brucie is officially my brother now?!”Rebecca’s eyes met with Maria as they laughed. Something in that gaze was different, almost intimate. She blushed and startled as yet another voice answered Tony’s question.„It certainly does although you two troublemakers have clearly been brothers already. Alright, boys, come with me now, I have something to show you!”Rebecca watched as Jarvis stole the boys, making more of those frantic signs at Maria, who sighed. Rebecca look at her, the two of them ended up kneeling on the kitchen floor side by side, suddenly alone, silenc only distrupted by the distant laughter of their sons.„Maria? What is going on?”Maria looked at her with hesitance uncharacteristic of the confident business woman she usually was. It seemed as if she was trying to find words and the strangely serious atmosphere made Rebecca anxious.„Becky...” Maria giggled nervously, as if changing her mind. „Honey, I’m sorry. I hope i didn’t overstep?”Rebecca just looked at her quizzically so she added, in explanation.„The family thing. I know you’ve been living here for a while now but this all sprung on us a bit unexpectedly and if you had different--”Rebecca cut her off with a finger on her lips, feeling Maria shiver slightly under the touch. She quickly withdrew, sheepish.„Maria. No, no, it’s alright. It’s perfect. Of course you are my family. I’ll be honoured to be able to officially say it.”Maria smiled at her, more relaxed and with that same determined glint in her eye as Tony had before he dragged Bruce into trouble.„Then would you like to make it official, gorgeous?”„Official? Didn’t we just do that?”Maria sighed in what seemed to be exasperation, which only confused Rebecca more.„I will have to spell it out for you, won’t I?”„Maria?”„Do you want to go on a date with me, Rebecca?”Rebecca blushed.„Oh.”„Oh indeed.” Maria laughed. „I’ve been flirting with you for ages.”„I thought you weren’t serious.”„Rebecca. I made a marriage joke. So... is that a yes?”Rebecca nodded, her grin answer enough.***The biggest surprise their new relationship brought to Maria and Rebecca, was the fact that nothing really changed. While there was certainly a whole new layer of intimacy added to their interactions and Rebecca blushed a lot more, some things were already there and it was the simplest thing in the world to build on them.Never let it be said that while unconventional, raising children together first wasn’t a good base for a romantic relationship.It was a bit awkward, initially. Maria had no reservations but Rebecca seemed unsure at times and it took her time before she would be the one initiating things. They went on dates and it only took a few of them before they fell back into the routine they had been through so often before, and they started sharing innocent kisses on the cheek during breakfast. They weren’t exactly hiding from the boys, and considering the talk they had on the topic of mothers and brothers, it wasn’t a problem, but they didn’t officially state anything at first, just in case.Jarvis and Ana congratulated them and kept smiling proudly at the two of them for months.It was the best kind of strange, figuring it out. There were kisses and tentatively increasingly intense make out sessions and cuddling on the sofa. Rebecca spent a few nights in Maria’s bedroom because the bed was to die for and then she spent less and less time in her own bedroom.They never made it official, her clothing just started to appear in Maria’s wardrobe and Rebecca accepted it. They told the boys and the only response they got was mildly amused confusion. They were brothers. They were their mothers. Of course they loved each other. Of course.Maria and Rebecca, or really, mostly Rebecca, was the last one to realize they were sort of married all along. There was no way to describe their relationship but natural or organic. And that was what made it strong.It was almost scary, how quickly and how easily they fell into it. How much they yearned to make it more permanent already despite knowing it was a better idea to take it slow. Maria found herself thinking about marriage, and that was not a topic to consider after barely three days.Even if you were already bringing kids together.Tony and Bruce, for the record, didn’t seem fazed by the announcement once it came. When Rebecca and Maria tried to explain mommies would be kind of... more mommies, like proper mommies together, the two little geniuses behaved like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was them who were late to the catch-up.And honestly?Maybe they were.***Maria and Rebecca stumbled into the hall giggling uncontrollably, Maria’s feet bare, her tights full of holes.„Please, next time I decide to go dancing in high heels, remind me not to.”„I did tell you.”„Well, remind me to listen to you.”Rebecca shook her head in fond exasperation and leaned in to kiss Maria chastely.„You should always listen to me.”Maria just nodded with a sappy, slightly dazed expression. They threw their purses on on the sofa before quietly climbing up the stairs, careful not to make a noise and wake the boys. The moment the reached the doors to Bruce’s room though, they realized they were needlessly cautious and a different kind of worry replaced it.Maria’s heart jumped when she found Tony’s room empty but Rebecca laid a comforting arm around her waist and quietly led her to peak into Bruce’s room. On his bed both boys were curled up together, Bruce crying silently in a way that made both women’s heart break, Tony hugging him, comforting his brother.„You’re not a monster, Brucie. And dads suck anyway. We got two moms. We don’t need them.”Rebecca’s eyes glossed over at the word monster, both women touched by the scene they were seeing, but instead they decided not to intervene. Silently, they clicked the door shut again, leaving Bruce with Tony as they turned their steps back to their bedroom.Neither of them spoke as they undressed, carelessly throwing the dresses on the floor as they slid into the pyjamas and into bed. They laid curled up together in silence for a while and Maria was almost drifting off when she heard Rebecca speak.„Mimi?”She hummed in acknowledgement but Rebecca stayed quiet until she began to wonder if she changed her mind. When the words came they were quiet but clear.„Thank you. You really changed everything for us.”Maria smiled, turning around, abandoning her spot as the little spoon to look her girlfriends in the eyes.„I’m glad. And I’m grateful. That you didn’t have to suffer any more. And that I got to be lucky enough to be by your sides.”Rebecca just gave her a slightly watery smile before leaning in for a quick kiss and with that, both them closed their eyes, feeling assured and safe that in this bed, by each other’s side, was their rightful place in life.***„Are you worried?”Rebecca just glared at Maria and continued nervously sipping her tea. The boys were at school. At school! They had their first real day of school and Rebecca and Maria dropped them off and now sat in the kitchen, trying to pretend they weren’t a mess.„They are growing up... I’m not sure I’m ready for it.”„I’m not even thinking about it. Please. Not yet. Let me have simpler worries for now, like them making friends and feeling comfortable there.”„I’m not really worried about that, honestly. They grew quite a lot from scared little boys they were.”„Then why are you so stressed?”„I really don’t want to be called to headmaster’s office on the very first day.”Of course, they did get called in to the headmaster’s office on the very first day. It would turn out to be a rather prophetic description of the next few years of elementary school.Still, neither of them really minded. Tony and Bruce often got in trouble (Tony often got himself and Bruce in trouble) but they actually settled in at school just fine, sometimes complaining about being bored but altogether dealing fine enough, being normal mischievous kids.The choice of putting them in a place that could accept their high financial status and place in the industrial fame environments while keeping them challanged intellectually turned out to be the right choice. Sometimes Rebecca wondered about it, about how she would have never imagined Bruce in a school like this, and now was happy he was there, because he belonged there.Mostly though, the boys were always more than challanged enough just by their own minds, and the one place where they truly belonged was by each other’s side. Maria worried, sometimes, that Tony and Bruce still weren’t really making friends but if having a brother close by was enough for them for now, she would let it go.They were happy. That was what mattered the most for their moms.***„Mamma?”Maria looked up to see Bruce’s head stuffed into the opening in the door.„Yes, Brucie-bear. What’s up?”„You’re nervous. Why are you nervous?”Maria just shrugged with a small smile, hugging Bruce to her side when he sat down.„I don’t know, honey. Sometimes we can’t really help but feel a certain way.”„But mom loves you. You don’t need to be nervous.”Maria chuckles, holding Bruce closer and ruffling his hair.„And you don’t think I overdid it with the gift?”„You definitely overdid it with the gift. But she will say yes first and only yell at you about it later so I think you’ll be okay. And it’s gonna be fun to move. Me and Tony want it too and you will be able to get married there, right?”„Sort of, sweetheart. It’s not really marriage, but it’s something similar. Something we couldn’t do here in New York.”Maria smiles at him, her heart breaking a little bit despite knowing she is lucky to even be able to enter a domestic partnership. And to afford to move to Malibu for it. She still hoped one day she and Rebecca could properly marry. That is one day Bruce or Tony found love in a boy, they could propose to them and marry them like it was the simplest, easiest thing.„And besides, California is sunny and we will live by the sea. I think it’s a nice idea. You will go to high school there and you can choose your university later or just take a break for a while, just enjoy life for a year or two.”Bruce wiggled out from another attempt at ruffling his hair.„You need to stop worrying about us skipping grades, mamma. It’s fine.”„We’ll see what you’ll say about that in high school.”Still, she wasn’t that worried. California would be nice, with new friends and new everything, making it easier for them to adjust. They wouldn’t be as recognizable and at Malibu, taking a gab year would put them in a lot better environment. And Maria... Maria was looking forward to building a home there with Rebecca and the boys, one that didn’t have anything to do with Howard.They could always go back to New York when they wanted.A blaring sound of AC/DC broke the silence.„Tony set the alarm sound?”Bruce just grinned at her before darting down the stairs. The plan was in motion. Maria swallowed the last of her nerves, taking a deep breath and standing up on shaky feet. She opted for flats. She didn’t need heels to impress Becka and she would probably fall down the stairs in them in her current state.She was careful as she made her way downstairs, all lights in the house off and actually disabled from being turned on by Tony. Tony himself was sitting down next to Bruce at the table Maria managed to buy from the diner along with proper decorations, the living room momentarily transformed into the place where it all begun. Maria stood by the table, turning the box around in her hands until Tony glared at her.This was a woman who loved her. Who spent the last half of a decade by her side. It would be alright, she thought, and allowed herself to get lost in the chequered tablecloths and greasy smell of cheeseburgers. She smiled as heard Rebecca unlock the door, kicking off her shoes.„Honey, I’m home!”She heard a tiny huff of annoyance as Becka discovered the lights didn’t work.„Mimi? Bruce? Tony? Guys, where are you?”Maria put her out of her misery before she tripped over something.„Living room, dear.”Rebecca stumbled in, happy to finally have some light, and froze on the threshold, shocked by the setting. Maria could see the sharp intake of breath, the strange emotions shining in her eyes as Rebecca took careful steps forward. Maria smiled, lowering herself to both knees in front of her.Rebecca’s eyes were shining with tears.„Rebecca. When all these years ago you asked to sit by my side, I had no idea you would still be there to this day. I had no idea you would give me love, and a second wonderful boy, and remind me what happiness was again.”Maria reached out and grabbed Rebecca’s hand in hers.„After I got to know you, I told myself no matter what, I have to make you happy. I promised myself I would help you erase everything that ever hurt from your life. I tried my best and I am immensely grateful you allowed me to do that. Today, I can offer you the only thing I have left.”Maria turned her gaze away for a moment, but Rebecca’s hand gently guided her eyes back.„I want to help you get rid of the last memory of that unhappy life in the only way I can. By offering you my name. Rebecca... Will you marry me?”Rebecca just nodded, too chocked up to answer, and she threw herself down, kissing Maria as she slid the ring on her finger. The boys cheered, and hugs were exchanged, and as they yet again found themselves sitting at the little table together, Maria looked forward to the rest of her life being that way.„You bought me a house in Malibu as an engagement gift?! Maria! You can’t just do something like this without asking me!”Maria cringed, glaring at the way the boys were grinning at her.„About that...”
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„Brucie-beeeeear!”Bruce sighed, putting the book down, bracing himself. He knew that tone all too well.„Yes, Tony?”„Go surfing with me, Bruce! Moms are talking about cutlery and dresses and thirteen different kinds of chocolate cake again and that’s too much chocolate cake even for me.”Bruce couldn’t help but laugh at that.„I didn’t think it would take so long.”„I know, right? They were already together but apparently, they needed „a while to process” and then they needed a venue and then the venue had a two years wait. I had to point them out that renting it is useless when they have a private beach! Bruuuciiieee. I never signed up for this whole planning hell, and even doing it at home they’re taking forever.”Bruce smiled at his brother but his own expression was a bit sore. Tony was thirteen now, and Bruce fourteen. It’s really been annoying, especially since moms wanted their opinion on everything and already scrapped the whole plan once with the venue change which apparently meant changes to everything else.At least haven’t sent out the invitations before that.Now the invitations were sent out, and the date was closer, thankfully, but that wedding was still long overdue.„Hey, it could be worse, Tiny.” Bruce smiled and ignored Tony’s glare at the nickname. „We have more places to hide from it than we did in New York.”Tony’s eyes sparkled.„Yes! Places like the beach! Come surfing with me, Brucie, please, the weather is perfect!”Perfect, being of course, Tony’s understanding, which was cold, windy, and probably indeed good for surfing, but atrocious for Bruce. He shuddered at the very thought. Thankfully he knew his brother enough to avoid it.„Or...” He smirked. „We could go to the workshop.”He knew from the way Tony’s eyes lit up he had won that argument.***„Brucie?”Bruce just hummed, focusing on his attempts at threading the cables through the casing of their newest machine. Bruce didn’t exactly remember what it was supposed to do, because it was Tony’s idea, but he knew it would be amazing all the same.All things he and Tony did where.He connected everything properly and turned to look at his brother, noticing Tony stopped working and was spinning mindlessly on his stool instead. Bruce grimaced, knowing it meant Tony was thinking and not thinking about good things.„What’s up, Tiny?”„Stop calling me that.”He threw a completely unimpressed look Bruce’s way before he continued spinning in silence, grating on Bruce’s nerves until the older boy forcefully stopped him.„Hey, I was spinning!”„That’s exactly my problem.”Tony sighed.„How do you feel about Jennifer?”Bruce frowned, putting his tools down, staring pointedly at the spot on the floor between them.There was a problem with the wedding Tony and Bruce usually avoided. There would be a lot of people there, some they knew and many they didn’t. The biggest unknown that affected them the most was family, meaning Carbonells would arrive from Italy, because as Maria explained, it didn’t matter they never called, one had to invite the family, even or maybe especially if, it was from Italy, and they would come even if they didn’t want to. That second part, Maria told them, was less because of family ties or traditions, and more to do with the fact they all knew Maria was rich now.Tony and Bruce did not understand this whole game at all but as far as they knew there were at least two uncles among said family Maria actually liked so maybe a part of that was the fact she couldn’t invite them without inviting everyone else.But the family from Italy wasn’t a problem, because they would later go back to Italy.The problem were Elaine, Morris and Jennifer Walters.Elaine Walters was Brian Banner’s sister. Bruce was fully aware of that, and that was the biggest problem. The thing was, he didn’t know his aunt very well even as a little kid, because she tended to not really stay in touch with her brother.Which was actually the reason she even got the invitation.Elaine reached out to Rebecca herself. The media inevitably got hold of the „scandal” that was famous Maria Stark being gay and entering into a domestic partnership. If anyone asked Tony and Bruce, they were just two moms getting married, they really didn’t think it was that much of a deal, but media liked to blow things out of proportion, and Tony’s accomplishments, as well as Bruce’s, now that their moms’ relationship was public, were part of that. So once the newspapers inevitably wrote all about it, Elaine Walters recognized her sister-in-law in the pictures and reached out to her through the Foundation.Rebecca didn’t know how to feel about it at first but Elaine did cut off contact with Brian long before Bruce was born and wasn’t at Rebecca’s wedding which actually was in her favour now.She contacted Rebecca with apology, congratulations, and told her about her own daughter, Jennifer, who was only 5 years younger than Bruce (which, if you asked Bruce, essentially made her a baby, but mom insisted they were peers) so she got tentative wedding invite which she accepted.That at least meant she probably wasn’t homophobic but everyone was still tense and unsure about the whole situation. Bruce knew mom really hoped she would get to have a family again but it was a cruel irony that family found her on the day she was about to finally get rid of the name that connected her to them.„I hope she’s not gonna be a brat.”He ended up saying, which was a poor summary of his thought process but brought a smile out of Tony, so it was fine.„Bruce?”Bruce shook his head fondly at Tony’s weird mood today and his insistence to restart the conversation after every sentence.„Yes, Tiny?”It was a testament to how nervous Tony must have been that he didn’t react to the nickname.„I like Sunset. But I also like Ty.”„Okay.” Bruce hummed. „I don’t care if you like girls of guys. But if you think I’m gonna let you go anywhere near either of the worst bullies in the school, you’re not gonna see me coming.”As he saw a small, genuine smile play on Tony’s lips when he shoved at Bruce, he knew it was the right answer.***In the end, Tony had to admit the wedding was perfect. There was a lot of cheek squishing and Italian too fast for Tony to understand (some of it didn’t even sound like Italian, mamma later explained some of her family spoke a dialect) and formalities to do, like documents to fill, and there were two cakes, after all, both of them chocolate.Elaine Walters turned up too, and she and Rebecca seemed to be getting along just fine. Tony saw tears but both their moms were crying non-stop all day so it wasn’t strange. Tony and Bruce, unfortunately, got saddled with babysitting Jennifer, although she seemed to be doing just fine on her own and quickly decided she will make friends with Ana.Ana was Rebecca’s bridesmaid, with Edwin being Maria’s best man and it was a really beautiful ceremony and Tony was surprised how much he actually enjoyed it. They lived in New York for the last few years and it was great to see them again, especially since they would be staying for a while.Because really, the wedding was only a start.Moms would be going for their honeymoon for a whole month, leaving them with only Ana and Edwin, and school was ending this week, so they would essentially have the house to themselves. Tony had a brother to hunt down and plans to make.„I’m looking for this guy. Heard his name is Bruce Stark.”Bruce grinned.„So how does it feel? Officially trapped in the family? It’s not easy, you know, being a Stark.”„Oh, I bet it’s not. You’d know.”Tony narrowed his eyes at Bruce and elbowed him. They took off their shoes and sat side by side at the beach, feet in the water.„I’m happy.”Bruce looked up, mild surprise at Tony’s words.„I like having two moms now. And I like your mom better than I liked my dad. I didn’t like him much at all, to be honest.”Bruce just smiled a bit sourly.„Yeah, I know what you mean.”Tony nodded, understanding, having slept next to Bruce through his nightmares more than once. Bruce’s father was way worse than Tony’s but neither of them was ever really suited to be parents. Unlike their moms. Their moms were awesome parents.Tony bumped his shoulder into Bruce’s, making him look at Tony.„Hey, you know what I like best?”Bruce bit his lip to keep himself from answering but Tony could see he had known the answer. Tony still said it, because it needed to be said.„Having you as a brother.”***„Mom, we really don’t want to do gap year. There's things to learn, degrees to get.”Tony looked up when Maria started to laugh from the adjacent room.„You must be the only kids who ever said that.”Bruce sighed, slumping on the kitchen table next to Tony. Rebecca shook her head at them in amusement.„We really aren’t, mom! And we’re not that young. There’s gonna be a lot of kids there only one year older than me, and two years older than Tiny.” He ignored Tony elbowing him for the nickname. Bruce was not letting that nickname go, ever. „Besides, we will still be close to New York, and close to each other too.”„We just want to get to our doctorals as soon as possible!”„Whoa, boys. You’re only gonna be starting your undergrad just now.”„Yes!” Tony threw his hands in the air. „And the sooner we start, the sooner we can be done with it and get to the real fun!”Maria shuffled into the kitchen and sat down next to Rebecca, the two of them exchanging pointed glances.„Alright. If you boys really want it, you can apply. There’s no reason you can’t take a break later if it turns out to be too much. It’s going to be better for me to be in New York for work too.”Tony and Bruce skyrocketed from their seats, giving their moms quick kiss on the cheek before tumbling down the stairs to the workshop. Rebecca smiled faintly before leaning into Maria’s side.The world wasn’t ready for these two.„Do you think we should build them a workshop in New York?”Rebecca laughed.„Oh yes. It’s either that or they will hijack the kitchen. Also, we should try to talk them into sharing a flat off campus. I don’t want them to destroy the dorms. Better if they explode things in a place we can buy.”„I’m slightly disturbed by how much this seems like a sensible thing to do. Normal parents don’t have to worry about explosions.”Rebecca laughed.„I don’t want to be a normal parent then.”„Me neither.”They shared a kiss, smiling at each other for a while before Maria grimaced.„But if I’m completely frank, I would never give our wonder boys up, but I could do without the explosions.”Rebecca just laughed and kissed her again.„You’re going to change your tune the moment they move out.”„Oh God, they will move out! We shouldn’t have let them, Becka!”***„Are you sure about it, Tony?”„What, living with my little bro? Why shouldn’t I be? It makes no sense to live on campus or settle on dorms when we are so close to each other.”Bruce shook his head fondly.„I’m older than you. And I don’t mean that. Isn’t university supposed to be all about independence and sort of... letting go? We lived together all our lives, maybe we should try and find our own ways?”„Brucie.”Tony sat down on the bed next to his brother, grinning.„You’re sixteen, aren’t you a bit dramatic with the all our lives thing? I’m going to start suspecting you are the one who doesn’t want to live with me.”„No!” Bruce’s protest might have been a bit too loud and too quick but Tony didn’t mind. He actually looked a bit relieved. „No. I do want to live with you. I’m terrified enough of having to go to class and you not being there, all the people being strangers...” Bruce scrunched his nose. „Press.”Tony laughed.„Makes you wish you never us, hm?”Bruce glared at him.„No.”The press was awful, and a lot worse since the wedding, but Bruce couldn’t care less about them as long as his life was as good as it was. He was just a bit... or a lot, terrified because this was a change. The first big, actual change, and the first time Tony wouldn’t be by his side for it.„It’s intimidating.”„Intimidating is what they’ll be saying about you after the first time you speak up in class.”Bruce sent Tony a look because this was more of Tony’s thing... although maybe somewhat Bruce’s thing too, and it was actually quite probable, which didn’t mean it should be spoken out loud.„Aren’t you excited though?” Tony nudged him. „All the new science, some new people, a new chapter in our lives. We finally get to fly alone without moms holding out hands. Independently.”Bruce narrowed his eyes at him.„New chapter in our lives? You sound like you’re getting married, not starting university.”Tony laughed but then he sobered a bit.„Do you think we can do this?”„Do what?”„...find friends. Go there and pretend people aren’t staring because we’re the Starks. Get someone to see us as normal.”„You are normal, Tony.”„We are normal, Bruce. Sometimes.”It was Bruce’s turn to laugh.„I think... I think we can try. And the rest is up to the people. But I think... ultimately, the best we can do is be ourselves. Promise me, Tiny. Promise me you won’t try to change to fit there just because someone won’t like that you’re rich and younger or you have two moms. You don’t need people who can’t take you as awesome as you are.”Tony swallowed but nodded slowly. Bruce bumped his shoulder.„Hey. Even if university sucks, at the end of the day, we still got each other. And...”„...and science.”They whispered in unison, both collapsing into giggles on Tony’s new bed. That night, it took them both too long to fall asleep, the perspective of what would happen the next morning still dreadful.
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University turned out to be okay. It wasn’t really scary, the lectures were easy but interesting enough and Bruce might have felt a bit lost without Tony but he just sat down in the first row, and focused on the subject instead. Making friends was never really one of his priorities.Okay, maybe it was less of low priority case and more of a threat looming at horizon, Bruce thought as he stared the two girls sitting in the first row when he entered the auditorium. It was okay. He could just sit in the second row, or sit in the first row, a few seats away.Except he didn’t want to sit in the second row.And sitting down in the same row but not next to them would be rude, right?And Tony would kick his ass for running away from human interaction, minimal as it would be. So Bruce took a deep breath, clutched the strap of his bag a bit tighter, and marched down the stairs to sit down next to them. University, right? Growing up and personal growth and being brave.„Hey. Sorry, is this seat taken?”The girl he spoke too turned to him, smiling, clearly about to answer, but she didn’t get a chance as her friend popped up behind her, grinning at him.„Bruce!”Oh God. She knew him? Did she know him or did she just see him in some newspaper he was forced to pose with moms and Tony in? She was short, very cheerful, with blonde hair and hazel eyes that were twinkling happily. She didn’t seem like a fangirl of the infamous Starks, and more like someone joyful to see an old friend.And she called him by his first name, with unhidden familiarity. God, she knew him. She clearly knew him and he has no idea who she is. He was saved from the embarrassment though, because she kept talking a mile a minute.„It’s so awesome to see you again, I had no idea you’re studying here too! Of course you can sit here, also hey, this is Betty!”Betty smiled, amused and looking used to her friend’s antics, as she extended her hand to him.„I’m Jane, it’s okay, I bet you don’t remember me, we went to school together for a year before you moved out, I also skipped a few grades after that, and here I am! It’s actually a bit of relief you’re here too, I was afraid I’d be the youngest and not know anyone, but then I met Betty and now you are here too!”She looked like she would keep going but the lecturer stepping in stopped her. Betty smiled at Bruce in a fond but apologetic way, and he found himself happily returning said smile as he sat next to the two girls. Despite Jane’s flashy personality, he found himself already liking them both.Maybe even because of Jane’s personality, and the way in which she actually reminded him of Tony. Part of him was surprised he didn’t remember her, and part of him knew he simply didn’t remember much from school, him and Tony living in their own little world, never really making many friends aside from occasionally going to the cinema with some guys, like when the Captain America movie came out.The lecture passed by quickly and Jane left immediately after, rushing into another class already because apparently she registered for more subjects than physically possible and was attempting to bilocate, and Bruce ended up leaving with Betty. It was their only class that day and she was going in the same direction, so they walked side by side.„So you got a flat in the city?”„Yeah, I’m sharing with my brother. He’s at MIT.”„I heard about that.”Betty smiled and Bruce frowned, unsure what she meant. She didn’t seem like someone to read gossip magazines and didn’t react to Bruce’s surname earlier. Her bringing it up now made Bruce vaguely uncomfortable.„I have a confession of sorts, I guess. Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. Well, depending on the way you look at it, maybe. I’m Betty Ross. General Ross is my father. He knows you mother. Makes business with her, so I heard a lot about you, before.”„Oh.” Bruce smiled, feeling a bit sheepish. „It’s nothing bad then, I guess. Bruce Stark. But you already knew that. So what have you heard about me before?”He couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at her, half teasing, half genuinely curious. She laughed, and it was nice, finding that sort of easy camaraderie with someone other than Tony.„A lot. Well, more so about your mother than you. And not all of it good. My father isn’t a fan of your... well, your mom, you know? You having, two of them. But he respects Maria Stark and Stark Industries at the same time.”„And you?”Bruce said, eager to see what her answer will be, feeling like it’s a strangely defining moment in their possible friendship.„Well, I sure as hell don’t agree with his homophobic ass about the two moms thing, and I think yours are pretty awesome, between the company and the foundation. And honestly, I think you’re lucky. You have two cool moms and I have one dead mom and a dad I rarely even like. Sure, I love him but liking? That’s something else altogether. But yeah... erm, I did kind of hear a lot about you being a Stark. I haven’t really heard a lot about you as a person.”She smiled at him cheekily.„But I guess I’m looking forward to finding out myself.”And strangely, Bruce realized he too was looking forward to it. Getting to know her, and allowing her in, to get to know the real him no one outside of his family ever really did before.Tony would coo at him later, talking about his little brother („I’m older, Tiny!”) making friends. Bruce would smack him over the head, and jab that Tony should try it himself.***University was not quite the way Bruce imagine it, after all. Not for Tony, at least. He wasn’t sure how Tony imagined it but it was not how Bruce imagined Tony would be at university. And how he was, was annoying.„I’m going to kill him. Will you help me hide the body?”Bruce sent Betty a pleading look where he was sprawled over her sofa, having spent the last half an hour whining about Tony’s punk phase, and why living with him now was absolute hell, and how if Bruce had known his brother would turn into a little „guyliner” monster he would never agree to it.„Hmm?”Betty looked up at him from her biochemistry homework. Bruce narrowed his eyes at her notebook, sinking suspicion that she tuned him out as he noticed long rows of neatly written calculations.„You were saying?”She smiled innocently at him and she was beautiful and he loved her but he was supposed to be mad.„Murder, Betty!”„Oh, cool, who are we killing?”Bruce sighed, closing his eyes but smiling involuntarily. She was like this, she could always just get him and that was amazing because no one ever was like that besides Tony. Not that Bruce ever tried making friends before.„This is why I love you.”„So.” She closed her notebook and clapped her hands. „Murder. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say our victim is Tony. What did he do this time?”Bruce groaned.„What he’s been doing for the past three months. He thinks he can do whatever he wants, all grown up at university like he’s an adult or something and not a 15 year old punk. He keeps partying and getting drunk and coming home at ridiculous hours, tripping over everything and waking me up. He barely even leaves grease stained car parts on the kitchen table! Last week he brought a girl home! A girl, Betty. To have sex with.”Betty tried to stifle amused giggle at the absolutely appalled, disgusted expression Bruce was sporting. God, he was adorable, all worked up over this, a protective big brother.„Bruce. I’m going to tell you something. It may come as a shock but I want you to try and keep an open mind, and carefully consider what I’m saying.” She leaned in to whisper into his ear conspirationally, ignoring his suspicious gaze. „Bruce, the way Tony is behaving... The partying, the alcohol, sex, and not much actual studying... Bruce. You are describing normal student behaviour.”She laughed when he threw a pillow at her.”Et tu, Ross?”They sat in silence for a while before Betty spoke up again, hesitantly.„You know, you could always rattle him out to your moms. From your stories it sounds like they could easily bring Tony down to Earth.”Bruce was affronted by the very suggestion. He was an annoyed brother, not a snitch. There were rules of brotherly loyalty he would never dare break. He didn’t expect Betty to understand. She was an only child. So instead of gracing the outrageous question with an answer, Bruce just glared at her.***So potentially, Bruce might have been right about Sunset. Which was exactly why Tony didn’t tell Bruce about Sunset even being here, let alone that he reconnected (or connected? Bruce always made sure Tony stayed away from her back in high school) with her, or that he started dating her.He sure as hell was not telling Bruce about the sinking feeling Bruce might have been onto something when Sunset kept mentioning Stark Industries security details in passing, making Tony increasingly uncomfortable.But Bruce might have been right, Tony sulked into a half empty whisky glass. The party seemed like fun but Sunset dumping him in the middle of it and calling him a little kid and a slut and all the other stuff and admitting to trying to get company secrets out of him?Maybe he should have told Bruce.He chucked the rest of whisky down and poured himself three shots of cherry vodka. Well, since he was already here and people were mostly not really interested enough to pay attention to whoever Sunset was trying to humiliate this week, (God, the first semester wasn’t over yet and people were already used to her being Like That, Tony really should have known better.), he might as well try and get something out of this yet.He gulped the shots, one after another, waiting for the pleasantly warm feeling to spread and stumbling a bit as he went on a hunt. He would find a pretty thing without a penchant for playing with him like he was a sex toy and he would allow the lucky chosen to fuck him until he forgot that bitch.He looked around the room, trying to find someone suitable, pretty and preferably not female or in any way resembling Sunset, and alone, because Tony didn’t want foreplay and trying to get rid of the group right now. He just needed a good one night stand and for Bruce to never find out what happened.Thank fuck most people here were MIT.He narrowed his eyes, zeroing on his victim. The guy stood in the corner, currently pocketing his phone and pouring himself a glass of... was that water? Ugh, Tony hoped he wasn’t a prude, or responsible. Still, he chose to take a risk and stood up, strutting confidently (if slightly wobbly) in the chosen direction.Damn, the guy was even more beautiful up close, all tall, dark and handsome. He would be totally out of Tony’s league if Tony wasn’t Tony Stark. But Tony was a Stark, and had a lot of liquid courage in his system, and not a fuck left to give after the stunt Sunset pulled.And he was determined he was gonna get that guy.„Hey, gorgeous.”***The guy was objectively handsome, although looked a bit young (tiny, James’ mind supplied unhelpfully) and he was clearly, painfully smashed.„Wanna get out of here?”James stared at him, baffled, and for a few seconds didn’t say anything, wondering why the hell had he even come here. He knew one thing for sure, and it was that he wasn’t going to bed with this guy. He also knew for sure though that he was not leaving him in that state.He sighed, cursing his soft heart, and smiled at the guy.„Sure thing. I’m Rhodes. James Rhodes. Your place or mine?” He said, hoping the guy would choose his own place, before he reconsidered. „You living alone? Far from here?”„Nice touch, double-oh handsome.” He almost lost balance and giggled, presumably at the Bond joke. „I live with my brother but he’s not home so he won’t be inter- inter... rrupting us... It’s a few minutes drive, but I got the car--”James just put a hand on the guy’s shoulders, resigning himself to his fate.„Yeah, no, I live around the corner. We are going to my place and we are walking there. So what’s your name?”„Tony. Tony Stark, if you know who I am.”James would have stopped if he wasn’t forced to almost carry the guy with him, the realization hitting him. So he was of a bit familiar face. James heard the talk of one of the famous Stark heirs starting MIT at the fragile age of fifteen (god, he was a baby, James was right), and he saw that face in the corridors a few times.Above all, James had seen Sunset tonight, and what she did. Christ, the kid had a reason to be smashed.„Yeah, it rings a bell. Something about the younger, more reckless Stark.”„Hey!” He probably tried to look indignant but he ended up with an adorable pout. „I’m just the exciting Stark. Not that Brucie isn’t exciting but sometimes he is too boring and reasonable for fun.”Looking at Tony, he wondered who wouldn’t be, in comparison to him. He was glad to see the fresh air seemed to sober the guy up a bit and he trudged up the stairs after James on his own, now looking strangely sullen.James unlocked his door and they guy went straight for James’ couch, slumping in it and looking at his host with dramatic, haunted gaze.„You’re not planning to have sex with me, are you?”„Nope.”James popped the p and smiled at the guy’s crestfallen look as he went to the kitchen.„Are you going to murder me?”„Also no. I’m going to make you something warm to drink, put you to sleep on my couch and get Aspirin ready for tomorrow while I call your brother.”„Oh God.” You’re worse than a serial killer. You’re responsible!”„So what’s it gonna be? Gimme your phone willingly or make me extract it with force?”James frowned at the smirk that appeared on Tony’s face as he threw the phone at him.„Have fun with the passcode, jerk.”And somehow, before James could process what happened, Tony managed to lay down and actually start snoring, a mug of tea untouched on the table.James narrowed his eyes at the sleeping body. Stark wanted to challenge him? Well, he was going to get it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
„So you’re the guy who found my idiot?”Tony cracked one eye open to see Bruce shaking hands with his „savior”. What the fuck. He closed his eyes again, pain unbearably annoying, but his head clear enough to remember one thing. Bruce’s number was safely protected by his password last night.„You hacked me.”His words were muffled by a pillow... that must have appeared under his head sometimes during the night, along with the blanket on his back but they were enough to catch Bruce’s and James’ attention.„It lives.”Tony groaned.„Don’t be a fucking smartass. You said something about Aspirin yesterday.”Bruce looked horribly unimpressed with Tony’s behavior, but Tony ignored him and accepted the glass of water and pills from the guy.„Erm, sorry for coming onto you yesterday? I guess?”„You guess?”Tony ignored Bruce still.„But also. I want to know how the fuck you called Bruce. Because that phone was protected and there’s no fucking way you could have hacked me.”Tony sat up and stared at the guy. He was still very handsome in the daylight, even if he was currently smirking at Tony - or maybe especially so. Maybe Tony needed to reconsider his assessment too because that smirk screamed competency. No matter how hard it was for Tony to wrap his head around it, the guy clearly just did hack him.„Leave it, Tony, say sorry, and you’re coming with me.”„He hacked me, Bruce!”„And you deserved it. He told me some interesting things over the phone, you know. About one Sunset Bain and also I passed your car on the way here, it was towed away. You’re dealing with that alone.”Tony groaned and buried his head back in the pillow.Maybe he could convince this James Rhodes to let him stay, after all? Bruce was going to kill him.***Bruce didn’t kill Tony.No, instead Bruce gave him the disappointed look, promised not to call moms, and made Tony talk about his feelings as he made them tea and they cuddled together under one blanket on the sofa. Tony felt a bit like back when he was six years old and they had only just become brother and had nothing but their moms and a lot of bad memories that made them cling to each other.Tony kind of hated Bruce for it but at the same time, he really loved him.In some ways, maybe he would prefer it if Bruce just called moms (well, mamma, except mom would inevitably also find out, and Maria may yell but Rebecca was the one Bruce had the disappointed look from and that was worse) or just yelled at Tony himself.Instead, Bruce made Tony tell him and held Tony as he cried into Bruce’s shoulder, and he couldn’t hate Bruce and in some ways, he hated himself more than ever. He had no idea what he ever did to be granted such an amazing brother but he knew he was grateful, even if he didn’t deserve it.„You gotta get your shit together, Tiny. This is... this is good for us. This is what we need, what you need. I won’t always be there to save you. You won’t always find a guy like Rhodes to get you out. But you will always run into some bitch like Bain and I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to pretend either, Tony.”Tony was laying on Bruce’s chest so he couldn’t see his brother but he closed his eyes anyway because he knew he didn’t want to hear it.(It was so stupid, closing eyes didn’t affect your hearing.)He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to listen to Bruce telling him he won’t always be there. He wanted to drop out and go to Harvard and stick to Bruce and just not have to deal with anything. Maybe he wanted to take moms’ advice and take a break and go home to moms and Edwin and Ana and not grow up for another year.Or ever. Science was fun but university was too much about people.„What you are doing right now, from what Rhodes told me he had seen of you, is doing your goddamn best to not be you, Tiny. And you should consider stopping that.”Tony just stared ahead, the words echoing in his ears.„I’ll try.”The words tasted like a bitter lie.***Tony tried to listen to Bruce, and tried to deal, and be more of himself, maybe. The hilarious irony was that he knew, in some ways, this was who he was. Not all of him, maybe, but certainly what he felt like right now.He sat alone in the first row, apart from everyone, focused on the lecturer, stuck to a rather solitary day and came home to find it empty half of the time now because Bruce had friends these days. Bruce had friends, and Tony didn’t.He sighed, yet again coming home to find Bruce wasn’t there (probably with Betty, he tried not to let bitterness slip into his thoughts) and throwing himself on the bed.Maybe... Maybe moms were right. Maybe Tony was just not ready for this. Bruce was older and he was the age quite a lot of kids at Harvard were and he was doing just fine. Maybe moms were right because Tony really was just a kid still and he needed another while and if he took a break it would be better once he came back?Maybe... He stifled a sob, realizing a few tears escaped and tried to stop himself from spiraling.He needed Bruce but Bruce wasn’t there and Bruce wouldn’t always be there and Tony had to deal with it but he didn’t want to. He grabbed the phone, dialing home, ready to admit he was a little scared boy who wanted mom to tell him what to do.“Hello, this is Stark mansion, how can I help you?”Tony frowned.“Do you really answer the phone this way, Uncle J? That’s lame.”“Tony.” There was joy in Edwin’s tone even if he tried to be scolding. “How are you? Did you want to talk to your moms? I’m afraid they are out right now.”“On a date?”“Girls date, more like it. They stole my Ana with them.”Tony mock gasped at it.“And left you all alone in that big empty house?”Tony could see his smile even over the phone.“I’m quite used to it since you two flew out of the nest. What’s going on, Tony? You don’t sound good.”Curse the way his uncle knew him. Edwin Jarvis was Starks’ butler even before Howard died and saw Tony grow up, becoming part of the family, and learning to recognize Tony’s moods in a scarily accurate way. Or maybe Tony was just that transparent. Bruce always seemed harder to crack.Tony sighed.“I don’t feel so good, uncle J.”“Are you coming down with a cold, my boy?”“No, it’s... I just don’t feel so good here. With the whole university thing. With living alone. I don’t know. Maybe moms were right? Maybe I am too young?”Silence met him for a moment and Tony would have wondered if the call disconnected if he didn’t know his uncle’s way with words so well.“But you aren’t alone, are you, Tony?”The words were careful and there was a sense of knowing to them that made Tony feel exposed, the way conversations with uncle J. always did. Like he knew what Tony wanted to say before he even said it. Sometimes it was annoying but sometimes, almost comforting. It eased the struggle of putting it into words.So Tony simply didn’t answer, waiting for more“Let me ask you one question, Tony. Are you enjoying MIT? I’m not talking about anything but classes. How is studying? Is the science as fun as you expected it to be?”Tony groaned. This was the annoying part.“Well, yes. Yes, of course I’m enjoying it. Some of it is a bit boring but there’s so much new stuff I never knew and interesting lectures and professors who are absolute legends! And a lot of them gave me additional reading and uncle J... you should see the labs.”Tony almost moaned at the thought of the facilities the university gave him access to.“Well, you sound like you’re enjoying it. So what’s the problem?”What was the problem, indeed?“Well... Bruce has friends.”The frown on the other end of the line was almost audible.“And...”“And I have Bruce. But Bruce has friends.”“Oh.” The voice came over as sympathetic without pity and Tony was insanely grateful for it. “You’re not used to it being anyone else but you and your brother, are you? Of course, it’s going to be hard to go separate ways, my boy. You’ve been joined at the hip for the past decade, you don’t know anything else. But I’m sure you’ll find some minions of your own soon enough.”Tony gasped.“Bruce doesn’t have minions!”“I’m sure Bruce doesn’t. I’m saying you’ll find yours.”“I resent that implication.” Tony found it hard to stop smiling though. “I am a great friend.”“That’s actually true, Tony. Which is how I know there are people out there other than your brother who will realize it, too. And you still have Bruce at home, right?”“Yeah, I don’t think Bruce likes living with me that much. I don’t get it. We always lived together!”The words were met with laughter.“And with me.”“I do not understand your point, uncle J.”The resulting silence was poignant and loud.“But... thank you. I think you helped a lot more than moms would have. They’d just let me go back home at the first sign of mild panic.”“I’m happy I helped, Tony. Let me know how things work out for you, and remember that if it comes to the worst, you can go back home any time. You have a good few years on everyone else anyway.”And as Tony thanked him and disconnected the call, he felt a bit more at ease. Maybe it was true. He could still give up if it became really too much but instead, he could also... try. He should have known he wouldn’t always have a Brucie at hand in life.God, one day Brucie could get a girlfriend! Or a wife! He might get a life of his own that doesn’t revolve around his brother.Really, Tony should consider this whole friendship business. It seemed worthy of consideration.***Brucie did actually get himself a girlfriend.When Tony considered this horrible betrayal he never thought it would actually happen! And alright, Tony himself dated before, but Brucie was different because he was... well, Brucie, and that meant he and Betty were disgustingly cute together and spending most of their time together.Together. In Betty’s apartment.Bruce kept insisting it was only partially due to their relationship and that Tony’s underwear on the kitchen floor was also at fault, but Tony wasn’t sure he believed him.But Bruce had a girlfriend now.And Tony was not sulking.He wasn’t sulking as he sat at the table in the canteen with his head in one hand as he slowly chewed on his lunch wondering if it was already time to give up or should he maybe try again with the whole friends thing. Or try at all. Hey, it’s not like uncle J. told him how to get friends. What was Tony supposed to do, just sit and wait?“Hey.”Tony blinked, almost choking on his fry as a smiling face was suddenly staring at him. The guy, way too familiar guy, sat at the table opposite of Tony with an overly cheerful face.“James.”He did not feel like in an old western, facing off an opponent in a duel. Maybe just a little bit. Maybe Bruce was right and Tony had a tendency to be somewhat dramatic.“Anthony.”“Eww. No. No one calls me that unless I fucked up badly. What do you want?”“I saw a guy who looked just like you in one of the labs yesterday.”Tony raised an unimpressed eyebrow.“Or you just saw me? Since I was there?”James seemed so genuinely surprised Tony wanted to laugh.“You were there?”“Yes. Which makes it definitely more likely that you saw me than that there was a clone there and I didn’t notice it.”“But newbies don’t get lab access! Hell, bachelors don’t get lab access! I only do because I’m at masters and only doctorals get to roam free.”This whole conversation kept being confusing and going nowhere.“I... am also at masters, so I don’t understand your point.”“You’re at masters? Are you shitting me right now? Aren’t you like 15?”“I am, and I’m also already talking to a few professors about my PhD, and as you see I am allowed to roam the labs alone, so what’s your point?”The guy’s face seemed so genuinely perplexed it was a bit awkward.“Erm... at least you didn’t assume I bought myself the access so thanks. Did you want something or have you established I don’t have a clone and I can go back to eating my lunch?”He was met with an uncomfortably smug smile.“Well, I can leave you alone but I hoped I can sit with you.”“Why?”Seriously. What was he getting at? Tony was starting to get tired of this game.“Well, I might have been looking around for you since that party and you always sit alone, so why not?”“Stalkery much.” This was getting annoying. “Okay, listen, whatever you want, you’re not getting it. You can’t humiliate me more than Sunset did back then and blackmailing me to not sell it to the papers is useless because moms would just rather I deal with the papers as a lesson than pay you off. Can you leave now?”“Hey.” James raised his hands defensively, looking genuinely put off. “Sorry. I guess that was a bit stalkery but I swear I don’t want to blackmail you. You just seem... interesting.”Tony wasn’t sure what to say to that. It wasn’t like he was never called interesting before but it seemed somewhat different. His brain suddenly supplied his pathetic search for a friend and he wondered briefly if it was a strange irony of fate bringing James to his table right now.Maybe he should... give it a try? He can’t get hurt much more and if push comes to shove, he’ll just tuck his tail and run back home.“Anyway, why do you always eat this greasy shit? Thought you live with your brother, would’ve assumed you eat at home and not live off bad cheeseburgers.”Tony sighed, drowning his fries in more ketchup.“Yeah, well, Bruce can actually cook but now he has a girlfriend who actually does the dishes so he kind of... stays at hers. A lot. And when he’s home he doesn’t cook because apparently he’s my brother and not my butler. Which is ridiculous because our butler doesn’t really cook that often. Moms prefer to do it when they can. And he’s more of an uncle than a butler anyway.” He groaned. “God, I’m being an embarrassing rich boy again, am I not?”“Kind of.” He answered, stealing a fry. “But it’s cool.”And James smiled, and Tony thought that maybe, just maybe, fuck caution. Anything would be better than this miserable loneliness. Even a weird stalker mom friend who saves him at parties. Tony smiled back.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
After that, Tony begrudgingly allowed James to adopt him, and soon enough James became Rhodey and Tony became Tones, and it was actually quite nice. Bruce kept hanging around with Betty all the time, sometimes bringing Jane too, who was a bit scary and had more chaotic energy than Tony himself.But it wasn’t bad.Adjusting to life without Bruce was strange but the new life was kind of fun. Rhodey understood Tony in ways even Bruce didn’t and he was a lot less reserved than Bruce which meant Tony didn’t have to go clubbing and partying alone anymore, and also meant that he sometimes had a chaperone but that was okay.Never let Bruce hear that, but Tony could admit sometimes he actually needed a chaperone.Exhibit one: Sunset Bain.So not having Bruce around as much was okay, because Tony had a Rhodey now. Having friends! Amazing. Or a friend at least. He didn’t particularly feel like he needed more but... well. The year was over. He and Bruce finished their studies for the summer, Rhodey went back home and he and Bruce were also coming home soon and Tony couldn’t help but feel stifling awkwardness between them.They barely saw each other these days and if they talked, it was about science, but even that seemed less natural now. At least it did to Tony. He wasn’t sure if he was overreacting but he found himself dreading the summer a bit and he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to.He had spent the last week buried under his own projects in the lab on the campus and it was only Bruce who dragged him out and reminded him of a photoshoot they were supposed to turn up to for an exclusive interview they gave after he built DUM-E and DUM-E got all the awards everywhere despite being, well, a dummy, and Bruce won a team Oxford Debate with Betty and Jane because apparently, Bruce was into human sciences now. And when did that happen?Bruce was also not talking to him, and it probably had something to do with having to drag Tony to even clean off motor oil and get to the photoshoot. Or maybe that was just how things were now.“So... Are you excited for the summer?”“I guess. I don’t mind studying and I will keep doing research so probably not in the traditional sense but it’ll be good to be home.”Tony wondered what that would mean. Bruce keeping on with the research. What traditional sense meant. Whether he only missed moms and wouldn’t science with Tony in the basement anymore. He wanted to say something. To ask. He wondered when it became a problem to tell Bruce what he thought.“Think the waves will be good this year?”Bruce smiled but it felt strangely distant to Tony.“I dunno, Tiny. I was never that much of a surfer, it’s more your thing. I hope they are, so you can go.”The nickname made Tony smile but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes.Maybe he could invite Rhodey for a few weeks. Surely moms wouldn’t mind.***The boys were not the same.It was natural, of course. Maria shouldn’t be overreacting. They came back with smiles on their faces and happy to go back after summer, so clearly studying agreed with them. But something was different, and she knew Rebecca saw it too (and Edwin - sometimes she felt like Edwin knew what it is but she didn’t ask) and that difference just became more pronounced by the day.Bruce was actually changed in an incredible way - it was as if he transformed into a butterfly, finally at his best, strange new confidence and calm around him that wasn’t there before. Also, Bruce was dating and she was not sure how she felt about that.But Tony was the exact opposite. Tony was withdrawn, as if he was trapped in a cocoon with no intention of coming out. He had made some friends too, well, at least one friend, and Maria readily agreed to invite that boy over when she saw Tony seemed to perk up when he talked about him at least, but it wasn’t enough.He and Bruce were also not really joined at the hip anymore. It was worrying but it was natural, right? They had wanted to grow up and learn how to deal with the world on their own and it seemed like they were managing that at least. And if Maria and Rebecca both felt irrevocably sad about it? That was how any parent would feel seeing their children grow up... Right?Rhodey and Betty joined them that summer and for a blissful few weeks all those worries disappeared and Maria was happy to see her boys shine brighter than ever before. But then summer was over and soon another year passed and Tony wasn’t talking about degrees as much anymore, while Bruce already started another course (or three). By the time another summer rolled around, Tony spent it at the Rhodes’, and then he asked to move in with James at the dorms while Bruce and Betty decided to live together.Rebecca would probably have had a heart attack by then if it wasn’t for the fact by then he and Betty have broken up since Betty realized she was very, very gay for one Jane Foster. Bruce also came out as asexual, which Maria felt might have had something to do with the break-up, but for some reason her son didn’t want to talk to her about his love life or (even lack of) sexual attraction.It was heartbreaking, and month after month, year after year, long conversations with Rebecca and the Jarvises and never really Tony or Bruce, Maria felt more and more helpless. She wasn’t sure what was really happening, what was the problem, or if there was a problem at all but she knew there was only one way to find out.***“I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen you and Bruce sciencing together.”Maria tried to be casual as she sat down next to Tony, staring at the setting sun. Malibu was really beautiful, with the empty expanse of land and nature trapped between the slick, modern shapes. It was peaceful here, despite being so close to civilization.“Things changed.”He sounded almost choked up and she wondered if it had anything to do with how he and Bruce disappeared to the workshop together this morning but only Tony came up. She knew Rebecca was probably talking to Bruce now.“You know... When we were, like, ten? Ten and eleven maybe. Bruce and I made a bet, who will get more doctorals because the person with more of them gets to be called Dr. Stark. Because we cannot both be Dr. Stark and one has to be Mr. Stark and that’s the loser.”Maria chuckled and Tony sent her a smile, throwing a pebble down onto the beach.“But I’m about to be done with my first doctoral and it’s just that... I don’t feel like doing more. I know Bruce actually got this job offer with Betty’s dad and he’s already through with like four of his titles and he doesn’t want to slow down but I just don’t care about it anymore. I want to take over the company.” Tony looked his mamma in the eye. “I want to take over R&D and build weapons and make actual change. And like what the fuck. What’s even the point of trying to catch up, who can pull off four doctorals simultaneously, that’s just nerdy.”Maria laughed, thinking how much Tony’s pout looked the same for the last twenty years.“Because you’re not nerdy at all.”“Not as nerdy as Brucie.”Tony’s grin was wicked but it was hard to argue with him. Bruce was all about theory. Tony was the tinkerer. He needed his labs, not more degrees. But at the same time...“You sure this has nothing to do with Rhodey going into Air Force?”Tony groaned.“Okay, first of all, don’t get me started. I know he’s been planning this for years but I’m also like seventy percent convinced his huge ass crush on Carol totally had something to do with it, except Carol is dating Maria and I’m not quite convinced Rhodey isn’t crushing on Maria too and now his stupid ass will be out there, risking his life and I-- Fine, maybe this isn’t completely unrelated but...”Maria hummed in agreement.“And who do you have a crush on?”Tony glared at her but then he sighed.“He’s straight. Like double straight, apparently. And yes, I got verbal confirmation just in case. And also whatever. I don’t wanna date Rhodey. I just need my Rhodey alive and not in Afghanistan. And I need my Brucie to not work with stupid generals who are sending my Rhodey into danger.”Maria chuckled but it came out slightly watery. She tagged Tony close to her side and kissed his forehead.“You’re just gonna have to keep him as safe as you can with our equipment.”“Damn right I am.”***Tony was digging in the wardrobe, looking for something to wear. Definitely not pouting.Bruce, no matter how many times Tony told him it’s a stupid idea, took the job and Tony took one at Stark Industries and he made the most badass stuff to protect Rhodey and Maria and Carol.(Except then Carol fell and Tony couldn’t do anything and then he released the prototype of quinjet and it didn’t matter cause Carol was gone and then Maria and Rhodey were together but it was not how it was supposed to go--)So yeah, Bruce worked for Thunderdick Ross and Tony worked at the company. Bruce got two more doctorals and Tony got one more because he was low key that petty. And they didn’t talk much but that was because adult life was busy and not because Tony was still mad at Bruce.Sometimes, Tony still missed Bruce.Maybe oftentimes. Or like always.Especially now, because Bruce was supposed to come for dinner because it was important for mamma, but he ended up canceling last minute due to some work obligations. Tony wasn’t bitter. He wasn’t.But it didn’t matter. Because Bruce had a flat near Caltech, a job, friends, and a life, even if he was single now. And Tony was also single, had a job, had a Rhodey-shaped hole in his life next to the Bruce-shaped hole and he tried to patch them up with leading R&D department. Initially, Maria suggested handing over the reins of the company to Tony fully but as he watched the inner workings of it over the years he figured it wasn’t for him. Tony needed to get his hands dirty, not play a diplomat.That was always Bruce’s job. Except Bruce was also getting his hands dirty in his dream job, and unlike Tony, he chose it himself instead of just rolling with the flow.Tony sighed, looking at himself in the mirror, a blazer over a t-shirt, as formal as he would ever dress in his own home. Stark Industries needed a new CEO, and if he didn’t want to be them, another person would. And because mamma was... herself, she picked a new CEO (a choice Tony decided was probably a good one) and decided to invite the poor girl over to dinner (a choice Tony, even without any real work or life experience, knew was a questionable one).He walked down to the hall where mom was just letting the poor girl in. She was not much older than him, perfectly composed, dressed in a simple dress and a blazer. In flats, she would already be taller than Tony. Wearing high heels, she towered over him, and he had to remind himself it would be an exceptionally bad idea to hit on the new CEO. She was doing the job he didn’t want, so he should not make her run on the first day.She was also tense as a drawstring which told Tony she is nervous despite her not showing it.He had a feeling she was the kind of a person who would schedule crying time between study sessions. Being invited to your boss’ home for dinner could not have been more awkward, so he decided to help out.„Hi! I’m Tony.”He ran down the stairs and extended his hand to her. She took it with a small, shy smile.„Yes. The CTO. I don’t think we have met properly before.”„Please. We can deal with that on Monday. Here I am Tony the troublemaker. Nice to meet you...”„...Virginia. Virginia Potts.”„A lovely name for a lovely woman.” She blushed, although Tony admitted to himself he said that out of courtesy more than anything. It seemed too old-fashioned a name for her, and not fitting the fire he had a feeling laid dormant under the cool exterior.„And I see all the things I heard about your silver tongue were true.”„You heard about me?” He smirked. „Well, that can only bode well.”The dinner seemed to go well after that. Maria made lasagna and that was a foolproof way to make everyone love her, and the conversation flowed easily and stayed away from business for the most part. It seemed like a lovely and casual evening but Tony couldn’t help but notice that tension stay in Virginia’s shoulders, and when after the main course she excused herself to the bathroom and didn’t return for a while, Tony left his moms to clear the table and get coffee running and followed her upstairs himself.He had a feeling she wasn’t still in the bathroom and he quickly found out he was right when he ran into her sitting on the floor by the wall, staring blankly ahead outside the bathroom door.„Um. Hi. Are you alright?”He kept staring ahead but something broke in her eyes. She opened her mouth, then closed it. Tony waited. Eventually, she turned to look at him.„You know what, fuck it. You look about my age. You look like someone who would get it. I’m not. I’m not okay. I am 26 years old and I just got put in charge of a Fortune 500 company because I was brave enough to yell at the current CEO over a typo. And it’s amazing, it’s a dream, but God, it’s terrifying! And my new boss invited me to dinner. What normal boss does that.”Tony laughed.„Oh, my moms are far from normal, you’ll see soon enough. Come on, it’s gonna be okay.”She seemed slightly more relaxed and accepted the extended hand to help her get up.„My boyfriend keeps saying that too.”„Good that you’re dating him then.” He looked at her and she had a small smirk on her face. „You’re making sure I don’t try to hit on you too?”She laughed.„Maybe. But Happy does say that.”„Happy?”„Harold.”„Okay, yeah, Happy it is.”They got back downstairs, where Maria and Rebecca were waiting, still at the dining room table but with cups of coffee in front of Tony’s and Virginia’s empty seats. Tony sniffed his.„Chocolate cappuccino!”Maria smiled and turned to Virginia.„Got a simple one for you, darling.”„Thank you.” She smiled, more relaxed and natural now, and her eyes lit up as she noticed the spice shaker on the table. „Oh, is that cinnamon?”„No!” Tony, Maria and Rebecca realized what was going on all at once but not before Virginia shook the red powder into her cup.„That... That’s cayenne pepper we forgot to clean up after dinner, actually.”Virginia looked at Rebecca, then at her cup, and frowned. Then she shrugged and took a careful sip. Tony watched her like a hawk.„Actually... it works. Similarly to chili flake chocolate.”Tony stared at her and shook her head. He eyed the spice shaker for a moment before deciding he liked his chococcino just fine as it was.„You know what?” He eventually said. „Virginia doesn’t suit you. I am calling you Pepper now.”It did, after all, end up being a lovely evening.
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It’s been... good.Yeah, it’s been good, to be independent, have a job, work with your lesbian ex-girlfriend and her father who hated your guts and have to fight tooth and nail to keep your research going in the direction you wanted it to do rather than kill people.But Bruce would rather die than admit it to Tony or moms and if he was looking for some interesting other job on the side, they didn’t need to know unless he actually changed the job. Unfortunately, so far nothing as good showed up because when it came down to it, it was good funding, good equipment and Betty was a far better colleague than some random stranger.So Bruce stood up, sighed and got out of bed, trying not to think how different life was than he thought it would be. He still wanted that taste of independence and was happy to have tried it but... but it didn’t taste so good. He missed his family and he felt purposeless anyway. He was single, alone and lonely. And even science didn’t quite bring the same joy it once did.God, he must have been getting seasonal depression (in the middle of summer in California).He got up, dressed in his tweed jacket, which, while designer, made him look like a homeless fifty-year-old professor, but that he liked, and grabbed his bag. A small spark of excitement awoke in his chest. The last few weeks have been going nothing as they planned but today they would be testing the new power cell. He got the idea from Howard Stark’s old designs for an arc reactor he and Tony found in the attic. He wasn’t quite able to achieve that, but he got a miniaturized high energy output battery running on thorium gamma isotope. It was by far not the most efficient yet and nothing like the arc reactor was supposed to be, but it would be extremely helpful to the military and could put Bruce on the path to actual clean energy discovery.The cylindrical device, about the size of a travel suitcase, sat on the table in the middle of the room. Just in case, Betty and Bruce were behind a screen and Thunderbolt Ross and a few other officers were outside the room, watching through an observation mirror.„Ready?”Betty smirked at him.„Ready to change the world.”And then they pressed the big red button and the last thing Bruce remembered was seeing the screen shatter and covering Betty with his body as the world exploded around them.***In the morning, the Starks got two phone calls.Mamma ran out of the room ten minutes ago and mom went after her when she disconnected. Tony was still reeling, not believing what he had heard when his own phone rang.„Hello?”His voice sounded weak even to his own ear.„Tones! You won’t believe, Maria is pregnant! We are both dropping out and we will have a baby and-- Tones. You there, do you even hear me?”Tony understood that this was good news and some part of him said he should be happy for Rhodey but he was not able to process it just yet.„Rhodey... Bruce is dead.”An hour later Rhodey and Maria’s little sedan parked in front of the Stark mansion. Mamma stopped crying a while and mom hasn’t said a word since they called. Tony dragged out a family album and keeps looking at their photos, half praying this was all some sick joke.James and Maria hugged them all before Maria went off to make everyone herbal tea and Rhodey just took Tony into his lap. The photo album was still open on the table, and Rhodey and Maria were here, and finally, Tony felt like he no longer had to be strong for moms, like he could allow himself to feel.He buried his face in Rhodey’s shoulder and cried.Two pots of herbal calming teas later and some more tears shed, all the Starks were looking for was a distraction, as if hoping that the next morning Bruce will stroll out of his room and this will be just a bad dream. Mamma had her hand on Maria’s stomach now, even though it’s not possible to feel anything yet and James was speaking.„We are both on two weeks leave now. Maria is uncontracted so she is only going to go back to tie all loose ends and be staying and my contract is ending in five months so, unfortunately, I will have to stick around for that, but then I am not signing another. And at least it’s over before birth.”„I am so happy for you. Are you going to tie the knot now that...”„Mom!” Tony looked at Rebecca pointedly.„What? I am just asking, it’s okay if they don’t want to!”„What my wife means to say is...” Maria Stark turned to look at her namesake. „We tend to be sometimes overly nosy about that. I guess a part of it is the fact we are very much not technically fully married ourselves.”Rhodey looked at Tony at that and after a small nod, spoke up.„It’s not that. I don’t know how much of it you’ve heard about but there are reasons we do not want to get married. Ever, really.”„I did tell you about Carol Danvers’ accident, remember, moms?”„Well, Carol was also our girlfriend.” Maria smiled nervously. „Mine and Rhodey’s.”Both the older women looked slightly surprised but compassionate.„Oh, darlings... That loss must have been horrible.”„We were thinking about it, actually... It hasn’t been long since we found out, after all.” Rhodey looked at Maria. „But if it’s a girl, her second name would be Carol.”„We’re so sorry for your loss.”„We had time to heal.” Maria squeezed the women hands and looked at Tony. „And you will too. For him.”Tony smiled back at her, thinly and unconvincingly, but deep down, he found himself comforted by her words.***When Bruce woke up, he found himself surprised to be alive.The next thing he registered was that everything hurt and he felt weirdly angry, although he wasn’t sure what he was angry at.And then he realized he was restrained, and suddenly he had a reason to be angry.
What was even going on?
There were metal bands on his wrists, and ankles, and one around his hips, and torso. Some cold strap even kept his forehead on the table he was on, so he couldn’t see around the room. He wanted to groan, but the sound disappeared in a... gag? A mouthguard?Bruce closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath.He failed and bit into whatever it was in his mouth so hard it cracked and broke.And then he heard shouting, but he didn’t focus on who or what it was because the world suddenly felt green and annoying.***Mamma made sure there was no press at the funeral. They would write about it, for sure, but they wouldn’t have pictures, it wouldn’t be a public affair.Bruce wouldn’t have wanted that.Tony felt so much despair but also so much anger throughout the entire event. It was them, and Ana and Edwin, and there was aunt Susan with her husband and Jennifer. Rhodey’s entire family came, and Rhodey and Maria themselves, of course. Jane Foster came, alone, because Betty Ross also died in the same accident. Tony didn’t know her well but he knew they attended high school together, and she was Bruce’s friend, and she knew the pain he felt because like he with his brother, she had to see her girlfriend be buried in an empty coffin.They said the bodies couldn’t be recovered.Tony called bullshit but he couldn’t really do anything about it. Not now. Later, he knew he would go digging, turn every detail of this over and over until he found out what happened. If there wasn’t a body, there was no proof that Bruce was dead and Tony just couldn’t believe it. Not Bruce.After the wake, Tony retired for the night early. He knew moms were downstairs with aunt Susan’s family and the Jarvises still. He felt grateful that their house was so big when he walked into his bedroom and pushed the night table over. He threw the lamp against the wall. Tore all the clothes out of the wardrobe until they were scattered all over the floor and the destruction of the room matched the destruction inside his soul.And then he screamed and went to Bruce’s room to sleep.He laid down in the same bed he did countless times before but for the first time, he was alone. There were still posters on the walls and dusty vials on the desk with god knows what inside still, since like 5th grade. The quiet of the room was alien, missing a sound of the second breath next to his ear.And finally, Tony allowed his tears to fall.When he was small, like, very small, he was an only child. And although kids aren’t supposed to have that clear early memories he still recalls, clear as day, when Bruce sat next to him in that diner, and Tony didn’t understand what was happening besides that there was this cool boy who understood him and that he would come over for a sleepover. And then stayed for another sleepover. And then stayed.And it felt so natural and so good. Having a brother was the best thing to ever happen to him.He remembered his father, very vaguely but very badly, and he knew Bruce’s was even worse. Howard Stark died in a car accident and killed aunt Peggy who was with him in the car but he was not much other than an angry drunk. Brian Banner got physical. Tony would never forget the purple bruises on Bruce’s lanky arms when he first came to live with them.When they were kids and Bruce just moved in... he was so small, despite being older than Tony. So scared of so many things. And Tony promised to protect him... but he wasn’t there and now Bruce was gone.And it was all Tony’s fault.***„Elizabeth.”„Don’t call me that.”She looked at the newspaper he threw at the bed next to her but refused to look up at him. The headline stared at her with its exclamation mark eyes.
Bruce Stark dead! Army monster on the loose? Details inside!
In the text, in much smaller font, her own name was also mentioned as deceased. She bit her lip and stayed quiet. He father didn’t say another word either. When his steps turned to leave the room again, she finally whispered, words echoing loud in the empty space, following after him.„Bruce is not the real monster. You are.”The key clicked in the lock.***There was green in front of his eyes, a gentle, dark colour, not unlike what he painted the wall of his teenage room after he and Tony were on an Indiana Jones kick. For a blissful moment he thought that maybe everything is fine, he just had some bad dream and he was back in his bedroom.For a few wonderful seconds, he didn’t remember the accident or waking up restrained. For a lovely moment, he didn’t remember that he and Tony grew apart during their college years, or that he moved out and started working for his ex-girlfriend’s evil dad.And then he realized the green was a bush. Very green, very living plant bush.
What the actual--
He was running on bare ground, in some forest. He didn’t know where he was, and he was almost naked, and his pants were torn. Oh God, what happened to him? Strangely, he wasn’t cold, despite realizing it was very cold outside. Must have been early morning. He remembered now, the bomb, trying to save Betty, being restrained...Why was he restrained?He stood up, started walking in a random direction. He would have to find civilization at some point. He remembered... he remembered. Being tied up and then being angry. And then he remembered green. Not the green of the bush, more like a... feeling of green. It was stupid. Green wasn’t a feeling.It took about half an hour to see any sign of humanity. The sign was two big charity containers for clothes, sprayed with graffiti but thankfully full. Bruce was grateful that of all things was what he found first but he didn’t complain and instead felt no remorse as he climbed inside and picked some pants and a shirt. He also took a big warm sweater because he felt the need to have some warmth source, even if its effects were only psychological.Yeah, it was supposed to go to someone in need but he was very much in need himself right now.He was going to donate a few million when he made it home so people in need get all the clothes much better than an old sweater. He snuggled the smelly old sweater and tried not to think how much he wanted to go home to moms. And Tony. He wanted Tony.His mind was supplying him weird visions, like distorted memories of some monsters and that overwhelming green.Finally, he saw a town.He sought out a shop first thing and grabbed the newspaper from the stand. He almost dropped it when he saw the front page title.
Bruce Stark dead! Army monster on the loose? Details inside!
He flipped the page, scanning the words of the article, and then he saw the blurry picture and suddenly the memories flooded back to him in a way that made sense. The green monster the article referenced... That was him.He was dead, and he was a monster.
Bruce Stark dead!
...He needed to go. Needed to disappear.***Robert Banner was different from Bruce Stark. He was sad, quiet - not in a contemplative way but instead reserved and scared. He avoided settlements at all cost, and the only thing that got him out of bed in the morning was the need to look for a way to fix the mess he found himself in.If Bruce dropped that damn job on time, none of this would have happened. Betty would still be alive... Or Betty would be just as dead, but at least he wouldn’t be a danger to everyone.There were days when Bruce -- Robert, sat at the old laptop with poor wifi and read through a thousand journal articles, and tried to remember what it was like to feel excited about science. These days academia was nothing but hope for finding a solution. There was no passion in discovery, only in disappointment in lack of it. It wasn’t very helpful either way, he wasn’t sure how he would try and cure himself in practice even if he found the equation, but the first step was finding the how. And so far, there was no success on that front.A little red dot showed him he has a new e-mail. It was probably another ResearchGate newsletter.
mednerd34 replied to your post in a thread...
Robert perked up. (God, he was getting used to referring to himself that way. It was great. And simultaneously awful.) He posted on some deeply hidden forum a few days ago, full of people who were either very smart and very underfunded or conspiracy theorists with poor education they bought for themselves. He began reading mednerd’s reply. It was... it was actually intelligent. He grabbed his cup of cheap coffee and settled in to open a private chat.For the first time in a while, he felt something akin to excitement.***„Tony, I feel awful about it. Maybe once Monica is born, I could--”„No.” Tony punched his best friend in the arm. „We’ve been over this many times over the last three months, Rhodes. That was a dead end, and you’re needed here.”Maria was in labour. All Starks and Rhodes and Rambeaus were here, anxious and waiting. Rhodey was in the room with Maria most of the time but he couldn’t take it anymore. And once again, they landed here.Just before his contract run out, Rhodey found what he thought was a clue that Bruce was still alive. But then Rhodey had to come back, and Tony following it didn’t offer any results, and they just... dropped it. Well. Tony tried to drop it. Rhodey suggested going back for another contract, just for a few months. Tony told him he was an idiot.But Tony knew Rhodey thought about it because he saw that the Starks were having a hard time dealing. Tony and Maria were slowly coming around (Maria was, Tony was still in denial) but Rebecca seemed to be a ghost of herself. Tony knew it wasn’t about the fact Bruce was biologically hers. His loss hit both their moms equally but Maria was used to putting on a strong front. She suffered in silence and didn’t let anyone see. Only Tony and Rebecca knew she still cried herself to sleep often. But for mom, it just brought to many what-ifs and memories. Tony didn’t know much about Brian Banner but he knew the name was in his mom’s brain more often in the past three months than the last ten years.Just like Tony, Rebecca blamed herself for not protecting Bruce.„It’s gonna be okay.” He turned back to his best friend. „I was talking to mom about maybe getting a few therapy sessions. Family ones, most likely.”Rhodey looked at him for a long while and eventually nodded.„Okay.”Tony knew it wasn’t dropped for good but he let it be. Bruce’s passing and the mysterious nature of it hit many people. But today... today wasn’t a sad day. Tony didn’t get to say anything else because Rhodey was suddenly ushered back in.Three hours later, Tony met his niece (if he was calling himself an uncle, and he was, she was his niece). Monica Carol Rhodes-Rambeau was tiny and absolutely perfect, and Tony hasn’t seen Rhodey this in love since he first laid his eyes on his two girls.He had a feeling fatherhood would suit him really well.***Bruce never thought he’d find a sliver of happiness in this supernatural medical condition hell but mednerd was... something else. It’s been months now since they first messaged each other and although he never disclosed any information about himself he didn’t need to, he now felt like he knew her better than almost anyone outside his family.He sighed, closing his laptop. She was a few timezones ahead of him and just said goodnight. Their conversations were moving at a snail pace, scientifically, with Bruce not being able to release much incriminating information, but their bond grew rapidly. She was witty, sharp, and rational. Just her messages had a calming effect on Bruce.He was...Oh fuck.He was falling for her.He was falling in love with a woman he never met, who had no idea he was a monster. This could only end in a disaster.
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Snow was falling softly from the sky, light and delicate, dancing in the subtle wind. It was freezing enough it stayed powdery and loose on the ground, no good for snowball fights but perfect for the children to run through and glittering magically in the gentle glow of the colorful lights as everyone prepared for the holidays. Hannukah fell almost at the same time as Christmas this year, and in the Stark household the celebrations for both were being prepared, the Jarvises long since becoming a part of the family.But the holidays joyful atmosphere just wasn’t there.For the Starks and Jarvises, this would be the first holidays since Bruce’s death. The first time they would sit down at the table with an empty chair, with the family incomplete and heartbroken. Despite the passing months the grief and mourning still sat heavy in all of their hearts. The celebrations snuck up on the like a vicious reminder that even if it seemed like everything stopped with Bruce’s disappearance, life stubbornly did go on, and people around the world sang songs of bliss and happiness, innocent and unaware of everyone going into holiday season with empty hearts.At the Christmas table, a plate sat empty, set all proper as if in hope that Bruce would appear. The fruit cake that was always Bruce’s favourite sat barely touched, prepared religiously despite the fact almost no one other than Bruce liked it. Christmas was only half of a religious celebration in their strange little mixed family of christian lesbians and jewish butlers but it was always a joyful, happy time for everyone. It was a light and peaceful celebration when they would sing carols together, and eat at one table, and unpack presents to gush about why they shouldn’t have splurged again - as if money was a problem.This year, there was no music. Besides the carols sang during the mass they all watched, none of them had the heart to put on even „Silent Night”, let alone „Jingle Bells Rock”. Usually, Tony was the musical person in the family, and he would be trying to get everyone to sing but Tony was definitely hit hardest by Bruce’s death. He and Bruce had not been on the best terms at the time, and it weighed heavily on Tony in a way that it seemed like it didn’t on Bruce. In retrospect, none of them could have known Bruce has struggled with the way the brothers have grown apart too. Although he missed Tony, he didn’t show it and with his gentle attitute he was always harder to read. But Tony, Tony was not the same person. Although meeting Rhodey had helped him open up somewhat, it was like a part of him was muted due to lack of Bruce’s presence, and with Bruce’s death, that spark just died fully, leaving nothing but ashes, the embers all burnt out.A part of Tony wondered what it would be like if he and Bruce never met. After all, biologically, he was an only child. Maybe somewhere out there in the infinite realm of possibilities, could have been a timeline where Bruce never escaped. Where they grew up apart, haven’t been brothers. Would it feel the same? As bleak and empty without Bruce in it, or less so for not knowing what he lost? Would he and Bruce meet someday anyway, crossing their paths well into adulthood? Would it be a better world or a worse one? Maybe he couldn’t have known, but deep down he was quite certain that the night mom Becky run away from her ex-husband she saved not just her own and Bruce’s life, but also his mammas and Tony’s.***Christmas was always celebrated with huge pomp in the Rhodes household. Ever since James and she got together, Maria and Carol became a part of it. Carol had a tough love relationship with her father and barely saw him and her brother once she grew up and moved out. Her mother was never in the picture. Maria’s parents have been more of parents to Carol than her own, and their death hit the girls both pretty hard but these days, Maria was almost grateful they didn’t have to watch Carol die. So now, without Carol, with no family left, Maria just got fully adopted into the Rhodes family even more than she already was.And while there was always some underlying sadness in the air, little human-shaped holes for her parents, for Carol, for James’ lost sister (they didn’t really talk about it), and now also for Bruce, this Christmas would be even more special and beautiful, because this would be the first Christmas that Monica was there. Barely a month old, so impossibly tiny she could fit under the Christmas tree like a gift, and already in the middle of the madness.Maria was currently helping Terrence decorate the tree, having been kicked out of the kitchen by Roberta because apparently she should now only be worried about feeding Monica, and no one else, while Jim was sitting on the couch and actually taking care of her. They took turns. It was just the four of them this year - sometimes James’ two cousins, Rupert and Michael, would join them for Christmas, apparently travelling the country full time and basically dropping on random relatives every year, but this time they picked a different stop.The entire house was already decked in festive decorations because like Maria said, the Rhodes’ always went all out. The outside was covered in lights with a small army of full-scale penguins made of LEDs on the porch, and the inside had garlands hanging on all bannisters. The Christmas tree, however, was always done last minute, because Roberta insisted she wanted it to be fresh and smell wonderful for the Christmas dinner. James and Terrence brought it in yesterday but didn’t carry down the boxes of bubbles from the attic until this morning and now finally it was all done. Maria stood up, admiring their work and turned around to the next text, wanting to make the best of the time before Monica decided she wanted to switch hands again.The last thing left to do was setting the table. The turkey was already making the house smell like heaven, and Roberta was humming carols under her breath, so everything must have been ready if she was ready to relax enough for that. Maria carefully took out the fancy plates and started setting them out at the white tablecloth. By the corner stood Monica’s crib, which had handy wheels to make sure they could keep an eye on her at the table and not just a spot for her to spend nights at the grandparents. And at the table, she put down five sets of dinnerware, for the four of them and the empty chair.The empty chair was a tradition that was in the Rhodes family for a while now. Maria wasn’t sure where they got it, but James did it because his mother did it and Roberta did it because her mother did it. It was an additional space at the table set out for any hypothetical unexpected guests. Christmas was a time of joy, hospitality, and openness. The idea to make space for a complete stranger, whoever they may be, to just let them in no questions when they needed it, was something Maria found lovely and would happily keep alive herself. Maybe it was unlikely anyone would know on their door on Christmas day looking for shelter, but if they did, they would be welcome, and that was beautiful.Never in a million years, even as she was pondering that tradition, would she have thought that the moment they sat down to carve the turkey, the doorbell would ring.„Are you expecting someone, mom?”Roberta sent James a strange look.„Who would I be expecting on the Christmas day at dinnertime, Jim? Go and check the door, the turkey won’t go cold that fast.”Monica was asleep, so carried by her curiosity and a touch of Christmas magic that made her romanticize the empty chair and imagine it was a lost traveller looking for a roof over their head and a warm meal, Maria stood up and followed Rhodey just in time to see him open the door and freeze, pale as if he’s seen a ghost.On the porch stood a woman, huddled in a coat that seemed at least two sizes too big for her and simultaneously not warm enough and worn with years of use. Her curls were a bit messy but showed signs of care, the overall atmosphere of someone who did the best they could with what little resources they had.When she lifted her face, one lip worried between her teeth, Maria realized that her face was familiar. But why...?„Jeanette?” The name fell off of James’ lips like a prayer, like he didn’t want to believe it was real to not set himself up for heartbreak.Jeanette. That’s why she looked familiar. James’ sister. Maria never met her personally but she’s seen pictures. Jeanette left home when she turned eighteen and stopped calling a few years later. From what she heard, they assumed based on rumours and their attempts at contacting her that the last they heard of her, she fell down the hole of addiction and was in a rather unhealthy relationship. She cut contact with them completely, didn’t allow herself to be found, and they couldn’t go to the police since she wasn’t really missing. She was an adult, and it was her choice, technically.Now, she looked everything but adult though. She was younger than James, in her late twenties, but while her wrinkled said she had painfully grown up, her eyes were that of a lost kid who finally saw mom in the crowd.„I’m sorry. I’m clean. I’ve been clean for months and I’m never coming back. I don’t really expect you guys to let me move in again but I just wanted to visit and it’s probably horrible timing because it’s Christmas but every billboard is boasting about the holidays spirit and spending today with your family and I thought maybe...”James didn’t let her finish. He drew her into a deep embrace, and Maria could see the way his body shook with sobs. She should shout for Terrence and Roberta, go get them, do something, but she was too moved by the sight in front of her, unable to tear away.„Nettie, just... thank you for coming home.”She saw the way he hesitated before pulling away, but they were still in the open door, and the outside was cold and snowy and it seemed that Jim was finally starting to realize his little sister was real and back.„But... Nettie, I am so happy to have you back, god, so grateful, but I just need to know... Why now?”And she just smiled disarmingly, genuinely happy for a change, her face suddenly losing all the years it seemed to have as she stepped to the side, revealing a baby carrier standing behind her.„Meet your niece. She deserved a better mother than I was when I had her, so I decided to become better.”Maria felt a tear roll down her cheek and finally forced herself into action.„Just come in, dear. It’s too cold out there for you and the little one.”When they went into the living room, Roberta dropped the bowl full of salad she was just carrying in from the kitchen. Jeanette would feel guilty about the damn bowl for years to come, but if you asked any others of them, there was no salad in the world that was worth more than getting a family reunited.Their personal Christmas miracle.And the table was already set for her. ***It would have been their ten years anniversary in a few months, if Betty was still alive.If Betty was there.Jane refused to believe that Betty was dead, and she knew that it was a problem. It was unhealthy. It wasn’t coping. It likely called for a visit to a therapist but Jane never listened to what was the smart, the proper way. She took her own path through life. They told her study literature, and she said she liked maths better. They said plant your feet firmly on the ground, and she looked to the future among the stars. They said aliens don’t exist and well. She didn’t have proof, but she was working on an Eisten-Rosen bridge and cosmic travel and... They said find a nice boy.She found a nice girl.It was like a dream, you know? Like something that she was sure would never happen. Betty was beautiful, smart, everything she wanted, so of course she was straight and with Bruce. Until she wasn’t, and suddenly she was Jane’s. And it was too good to be true.She knew Betty’s father hated her. She was pretty sure Betty’s father hated everyone, even his own daughter (he most certainly hated the fact she was a lesbian) so somehow, that eventually became background noise. Jane’s own family was always accepting, even a bit eccentric and pushing her towards reaching for what she wanted. They happily accepted Betty into their family and her death hit them all hard.But there was no body.It may have been foolish hope or delusion but there was something in her gut telling her to not give up. To keep fighting, to keep looking for the truth because even if she didn’t find Betty and Bruce, maybe she found find justice for them. Even if she didn’t find her own happiness, maybe she would find peace. All she was certain of was that Thunderbolt Ross was not a good man. Whatever happened to Betty and Bruce, it was not just an unfortunate accident, and if she couldn’t protect them from it, at least she would find out the truth.„Jane?” She didn’t turn around, staring at the window until the lamp turning on showed her her own reflection instead of the garden. „Honey, why are you standing here in the darkness?”„I...” She met her father’s eyes in the window. „I miss her.”She let him hug her from behind.„It’s stupid to hope she’s gonna come back, isn’t it? She’s dead.”„You’ve been together for a decade, honey. At your age, that’s a huge chunk of your life. You were both in a position to expect to spend the rest of your life together and too young to think of the end of that life. This isn’t a wound that can be healed in a few months, Jane.”She melted into his embrace, leaned against him and allowed herself to feel like a little girl again.„I don’t want to heal, dad.”„Then hope, my dear. Look to the stars, and hope for a Christmas miracle.”***Before meeting Maria, Rebecca had never been a very religious person. She had grown up in a religious family that instilled certain beliefs and traditions in her, but she barely had the heart to try and keep them after Brian started to get... aggressive. Marriage was a strange thing. It could be a blessing or a trap. In theory, she and Maria were not technically married - yet, hopefully - but in everything by the letter of law, they were wives and mothers and family together. The first marriage Rebecca had was a hell on earth and for a blissfully short and long period of the several hours long bus drive to New York, it made her reconsider whether love really existed and life was worth living. In many ways, having Bruce was what pushed Brian over the edge, but also what saved Rebecca’s life back then. She may not have been strong enough if she didn’t have to be strong enough for him.But then Maria was strong for her and finally, Rebecca understood what love was supposed to be like.She had a loving spouse, an environment for Bruce to thrive, and a gift of a second son, a boy she loved as if he was of her own blood. Having Maria and Tony was the reason to keep going, and without them, losing Bruce would probably mean losing the will to live, but as much as they were each other’s support, the whole family now felt like a house of cards, waiting to collapse under the gentlest wind. She could see the way Tony managed to feel guilty for Bruce’s death despite having no control over it, could see it because there were days she felt that way too. She could see the way Maria was trying so hard to be strong for them but went to sleep too quiet every night, hugging an old stuffed giraffe Bruce had with him when they first met. They were there for each other, and they would probably eventually pull through, but there was a hole in the tapestry and no way to make the picture complete again.She was never very religious before meeting Maria and only started considering faith more due to living with her, a devoted catholic despite being bisexual, and meeting Jarvises, who were practising Jews. Her family was unconventional and big, and beautiful. Edwin and Ana, although employed by them, were truly more like an uncle and aunt to the boys and friends to them than workers. When they moved down to Malibu, they even ended up living together, each of them having one floor to themselves. Edwin would still come downstairs to the Starks every day to clean and work though, which would inevitably drag Anna down with him, and the day would be spent on more talking than working, and if there was actual cleaning to do, Maria and Becca would help him out if available. Then on days off, one of them or both would find themselves wandering upstairs to drink tea and gossip together. They were all alone in that big house and in that big world, missing the boys after they grew up, and it started to feel almost strange to just not see each other.So it was only natural that they started spending holidays together too. The Jarvises would come for Christmas, and the Starks would visit for Hannukah. They didn’t make as huge of a celebration out of it. They lit candles and gifted each other chocolate coins and one of the nights Ana would make latkes, while another sufganiyot. Bruce always loved it. He had a sweet tooth.This year, Hannukah fell just after Christmas, and although it was just as happy a celebration, the light of the menorah was muted by the loss but in a way, almost healing. Ana would light the candles each night, and say the blessings, and they would sit down with a warm drink and talk. One of their personal traditions on the holiday was also to thank God for the blessings received that year. It was something Ana would fondly recall Edwin starting years ago when they first moved to the US, and Rebecca always found it a beautiful custom. She found herself grateful to the heavens daily ever since becoming a Stark and that was a yearly occasion to affirm it. This year, it was different. The first night as they all sat down, all their throats were tight and eyes blinking away tears before Edwin spoke up.„I am grateful for having had Bruce in my life.”And so it had started, opened the floodgates of memories none of them have allowed themselves to celebrate before, that none of them wanted to speak about, as if afraid it would make it real. But it’s been months, and Bruce was gone, and they all missed him, that was the truth. Hannukah of 2005 was the saddest of them all in years, but one that Rebecca would still never forget, as it became a turning point for all of their grief. Over the next eight days, the evening celebrations became like family therapy sessions, like memorials to Bruce and everything good that he stood for. By the time the last candle was lit and it was the New Year, Rebecca felt like for the first time in months, she could breathe, and with the menorah, a hope lit in her heart that life could, really, keep going on. ***Halfway across the world, Bruce Banner was alive if not well, and he was falling in love.Life on the run wasn’t easy but after a few months, he found a new rhythm and managed to stay calm and not transform a single time. He was still chatting with mednerd almost every day. His brain told him he should cut that tie, no matter how helpful or not could it be for his condition because if it went on too long he would undoubtedly endanger her... but his heart just couldn’t. At this point, they barely even talked about science. They just talked about anything and everything, about hopes and dreams, and daily challenges, with Bruce careful not to reveal any details about his whereabouts, but happy to share his feelings and exhaustion and loneliness with someone.Her name was Helen.She volunteered it about a month into their conversations, immediately following by mentioning that she did not expect Bruce to tell her his name. He eventually gave her Robert. Robert still felt somewhat weird, despite the fact it actually was his name but it was a good cover, bland enough to not be recognized, familiar enough to not reveal him. After over half a year of going by it, he got used to it. It didn’t feel like that much of a lie, and Bruce was living such a huge lie right now that he didn’t want any more of them than necessary.He was going to have to start working soon. He was living on an emergency stash he picked up before escaping the States, the cash he had to spare being a lot even there, which meant it was a small fortune in the poor and underdeveloped countries he hid in. He first made that stash when he was still a child, still unused to suddenly being safe and rich and not constantly afraid. He never got rid of it, out of habit. He never thought he would end up needing it, forgot about it over the years, not removing it due to not having a need for the money, but now, not being able to access his accounts, it came in a pinch. Not even mom knew about the stash, so it was the only thing he could take. But even that run out now, so Bruce was forced to test his control and start interacting with people. Maybe he could find a job as a factory worker. Something that would keep him with the machines rather than people. But he would think about it in the new year. He still had enough money to last him for the holidays and as a backup plan.Holidays.
How are you spending the holidays?
Helen sent him the message on the chat ten minutes ago and he was still thinking on the reply. It was actually Christmas morning where he was, which meant it was Christmas dinnertime at hers. Unless she wasn’t celebrating it, he wasn’t sure how many Koreans did, but if she was asking, she must have, right? Whichever it was, he wasn’t sure why she would be online at this time.
Eating corner shop instant meal and watching some movie?
It wasn’t a lie. He wasn’t sure if he would watch anything, because his heart wasn’t there, and he was more likely to be lying on the floor crying about now being with his family, but he had his phone permanently connected so he could watch a movie if he wanted to.Yeah, I’m alone for Christmas too.He wasn’t expecting that. There was a part of him that wanted to ask her why, but he felt like a hypocrite to be prying into her business when refusing to reveal even a little about himself. He didn’t need to know why to know he wished she didn’t have to be alone.
So what are
your
plans?
I was thinking about calling someone.
Family?
A friend.
Bruce didn’t write back for a while, unsure what to do with this conversation. It felt awkward and empty in a way that none of their chats did for months now. Why was Helen being so brief? Did she not want to share, or was he missing something? He was torn away from his thoughts when another message came from her, this time with just a single laughing emoji. He frowned, confused, and watched the dots rolling across the screen dignifying yet another message being typed.
You can be slow sometimes, Robert. I am asking if I can call
you
.
Oh.Oh!
Like... on the phone?
No, on a cup with a string. Yes, Robert, on the phone. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but I thought it’d be nice to hear someone’s voice since we’re both alone on Christmas anyway. Here’s my number just in case.
He shouldn’t. He wasn’t sure why, there was no way she could recognize him by his voice, but he knew he shouldn’t anyway. But he hadn’t talked to anyone for longer than it took to pay for groceries in months and...
I’ll call you. Pick up, I’m calling from a hidden number.
She picked up after a third ring.„Hello...?” Her voice was hesitant, quiet but excited.„...hi.” It was strange, to finally be able to hear her, say something to her. He knew she was real but she was... realer, now.„Hidden number, huh? You’re a mysterious one, Robert.”„I...” It was harder not knowing what to say in a normal conversation, where the screen couldn’t hide his pauses. „I have my reasons.”„I can respect that. I hope whatever they are, they’re not bad.”„They’re not good either.” He didn’t mean to say it. It just slipped. But somehow, he felt like he could trust Helen. Not because he could hear her now, but because of every message they exchanged in the past months and the fact she chose to spend Christmas with him when he had no one else to spend it with, even if it was just a phone call from miles apart.„Then I hope whatever it is, it eventually clears up for you. I’d love to spend Christmas with you someday in person.”„My, that’s forward!”She laughed, and he was glad she wasn’t offended.„Maybe so. I hope I didn’t overstep. It’s been wonderful to get to know you these past few months, Robert.”„Yeah, it really was.” It really was. „I’d love to meet you in person one day too.”He'd love to spend Christmas in person with Helen someday. And with Tony, and moms, and the Jarvises again.He’d love to be able to.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
„Do you have to come too?”„Tony, we’ve been over this.” Maria sighed, not turning away from the mirror. „I know it’s dangerous but I’m needed as much as you are, and I want to be there.”Tony swallowed his fear, turning away. He didn’t want to play dirty but he hated that mamma was dead set on going with him. Afghanistan was active war zone. It was a place where they could genuinely die. And yes, Tony was still not in full control of the company, but he could handle the Jericho presentation. Anything that needed to be signed could be signed and mailed.Surely someone as important as the CEO wasn’t needed.Surely Maria wouldn’t leave her wife, soon officially a wife, alone back home with the uncertainty whether her and Tony would ever return.Not after Bruce. Not before the wedding.„What if something happens?”It was not a good time. He tried to reschedule the presentation, even, but it was not something he had a say in. He understood, but he hated it, because marriage was legal now, and his moms were finally able to say „I do” and little Monica would be the flower girl, and it would be perfect. All their family and friends would be there, vacations arranged even for their brave soldiers, plane tickets booked, organizers adding finishing touches on everything. Mamma should be with them, crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s, not working on something like this.Maria put her mascara down, carefully closing it, her fingers steady. She was a picture of cool and collected but Tony could see the hurricane in her soul when her eyes met his.„I don’t want for her to be left alone, mimmo, especially now, but I think you can understand why I don’t want to send you there all alone either.”Her tone was quiet but her words spoke loudly, cutting through the tension in the room.„I will have Phil.”„Bruce had Betty. There are things out of our control, Tony. This is one of them.” She stood and there was finality in her stance, finality Tony both hated and was comforted by. He was terrified but at the same time, he really didn’t mind having his mamma to turn to, going there. He’s been in active warzone before. Of course he did. But not since... not since Bruce. He hugged her, burying his nose in the fabric of the freshly washed suit, smelling of lavender detergent and Maria. She carefully caressed his hair in a familiar gesture.„It’s going to be alright, darling.”***„I’m sorry. This is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there.”Coulson gives him an unimpressed look and Maria seems turn between scolding and amused.„Tony. Behave.”„It’s alright, Mrs. Stark. You two enjoy your fun-vee. I have your back.”Phil sent Tony another half-hearted death glare and sent another soldier into the back with Tony and Maria. Tony rolled his eyes, wondering if he should back out of his words, before deciding against it.Pretending not to like each other was Tony and Phil’s thing. Phil was Rhodey’s army friend and they were often on leave at the same time, and they would sometimes hang out together with Tony over beer and army stories. Phil was the kind of guy who looked completely unassuming but he was also badass and a friend of James Rhodes, which meant that he must have been interesting, and Tony quickly learned that was true.Coulson wasn’t boring. He was... a calm in the storm. He was always collected, always had a plan and made people feel like things were going to be alright. He wasn’t Rhodey, but Tony was honestly fine with Rhodey not being in danger anymore.Okay, so maybe got disgustingly used to having friends and he felt a bit lonely recently, because first Rhodey joined the army, and then he was back, but he was a dad, and he had new responsibilities, and Tony felt like a kid sometimes. It was just different. He was probably acting childish, in fact, and now letting out on Phil too. He let mamma do most of the talking, smiled sweetly and let the soldier riding with them snap a picture, wondering if he was ever going to find a girl, or a guy, he wasn’t picky, to make him settle the way Maria did for Rhodey. And Carol. But thinking about fallen soldiers was the last thing he should be doing now.„ I feel like you're driving me to a court-martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're going to pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!”He felt mamma elbow him in the side.„Behave.”„It’s alright ma’am. We can talk, Sir.”Yeah, Tony knew he was being a brat, but he was just nervous. He knew it, Maria knew it, and it didn’t matter, because Tony wouldn’t admit it. He kept talking, because that’s how he coped, and a part of him was still twelve, wanting to see how far he can push moms before either of them snaps.„Oh, I see. So it’s personal?”The soldier at the wheel answered him, her voice female, which somewhat surprised him, although he chose not to comment on it. He wasn’t an asshole, or at least not stupid enough to run his tongue with mom there. But it certainly didn’t so much to help him get rid of all those gloomy thoughts about Carol.„You intimidate them.”„But I don’t intimidate you.”„I’m an airman.” Oh for fuck’s sake. The others laughed at the cheeky answer. Mamma didn’t. Tony decided in some ways he was enough of an asshole.„Had a friend who was one. You remind me of her.”The car filled with awkward silence before the last soldier, the guy in the front, spoke up, all tactless excitement.„Sir, I have a question to ask.”„Yes, please.” Go on, just anything to change the fucking topic.„Is it true you went 12 for 12 with last year's Maxim cover models?”Tony’s eyes involuntarily widened and he had never been more grateful for his sunglasses. Okay, yeah, he had something of a reputation he built, he knew, even if he maintained it to be more than in reality. He liked playing with media and it worked in his favour sometimes. But. Jesus, how did he answer that?„I am still in here with my mother, you know.”„Yes.” She said, the traitor, because well, she was his mother, and mothers job was apparently to embarrass their kid, and she knew damn well he didn’t, but he loved messing with him. „He brought some of them home.”Fine. That part was actually true. The soldiers laughed and Tony pretended not to sulk. The guy with them in the backseat actually raised his hand. Tony stared at him, blinking just to make sure he saw right.„You are kidding with the hand up, right?”It got him another elbow in the side.„Go on, Jimmy.” When the hell did mamma get the guy’s name?„Can I take a picture with you both?”And then it was shuffling around, Jimmy handing his little camera to the guy in the front, Maria slapping his hands when he tried to throw a peace sign and fire, noise, blurriness--„Mamma?”What was happening?Tony held onto Maria’s forearm, his grip probably bruising but this was exactly what wasn’t supposed to happen, they were supposed to be safe, and then there was suddenly holes all over the car and he was dragging her out, because it wasn’t safe, they weren’t safe, their bodyguards were gone, their vehicle was useless protection, their wedding was in a month, they were supposed to be safe, they already lost Bruce--And then they were hiding behind a boulder, and suddenly a missile landed next to them, and all Tony had time for was to read his own fucking name on it before he was throwing himself to shield his mother, and the world went dark in the haze of smoke and sand, and his name, panicked but muffled, as if he was hearing it from underwater.***Tony gasped, choking on thin air, trying to find himself among the panic that was overwhelming him. He remembered a bomb... one of his bombs, and the explosion, and pain before darkness claimed him. He tried to move his hands, to reach out for... something, when he realized he couldn’t.He was sitting... Tied to a chair. He opened his eyes, only to be met with nothing but thin slivers of light showing him the inside of a worn bag blocking his vision. His brain was starting to register his situation and he didn’t like it one bit.There was biting pain in his chest and he was surrounded by noise, faint sounds of a crowd and rapid words in a language he didn’t know thrown around him. He was kidnapped. He was kidnapped and held somewhere in the middle of the Afghani conflict.Fuck.The voices around him seemed to change, more frantic and determined in a way that put Tony on edge, and suddenly there were rough, strong hands on his shoulders, making Tony immediately try to jerk away in a futile effort.Then the sounds lulled, just a distant hum of some vehicles around him, heavy footsteps and nervous breathing.A man spoke up, in a different but still unfamiliar language, and suddenly the bag was jerked off Tony’s head. He was kidnapped. He was in Afghanistan, kidnapped, staring into a camera as a man next to it kept on reading something.They were filming his hostage video and there was a rifle, an all too familiar rifle, a brand new model, Tony finished those designs only three months ago, how could they have it, and the rifle was too close to his cheek. Tony closed his eyes, reminding himself to breathe.He was terrified.He was kidnapped, kidnapped by terrorists and they had his guns and were going to demand a ransom or demand his weapons or... or they would kill him. He saw those news reports a few years ago and they never ended well, did they.Oh God, mamma! Where was she, was she here too? Was she still alive? He didn’t realize he was crying until a choked sob tore out of him and someone pushed a rifle under his chin, trying to silence him. He bit his lip, turning his head, closing his eyes. He would survive. He would come out of here, alone or not, alive and hopefully in a similar number of pieces he was in now.He wasn’t sure how many pieces it was. His chest felt like it was on fire, he was dizzy, and the huge amount of terrorists pointing their guns at him didn’t help calm him down enough to asses the situation. Someone hit his head with a riffle and he glared, turning to the camera and giving it another murderous look.He wouldn’t end up on national TV crying in captivity.He would fight.Someone set a rustling paper on his knees and punched him in the face. Whatever date today was, it was the first day of the most important time of his life.***There would be no funeral. There wouldn’t even be any announcement of their deaths, not so early but to Rebecca, it wasn’t early at all. After two months had passed she had found herself looking through the windows at the eerily calm ocean, and wondering if the search efforts were even worth it.In such a short time, she had lost everything.First Bruce, and now both Maria and Tony were gone. There were days she would find it hard to get out of bed, wondering if there was even a point to keep living without them. But these days she would force herself up, and go make too much dinner, and clean every nook of the house, and open the windows.She wouldn’t stop.If not until they came back, then at least until they brought back the bodies.Life couldn’t be that cruel again, right?Right?***„Try to keep it clean, okay?”Bruce was instructing the woman in broken pashto. He hoped the women understood enough and tried not to think about the fact Tony was always the one speaking dari perfectly (which would be a lot more useful here) while Bruce struggled with any non-European languages. He was never really jealous but in moments like that he was reminded painfully just how much he missed Tony.He wondered briefly if Helen (mednerd told him her name last week and he was relishing in thinking it more than he has any right to) would be able to tell him if he did anything wrong. Field medicine still wasn’t quite his specialization but he tutored himself so he could help whenever he could.Atone for his existence. Heal instead of destroy.Sudden yelling outside caught his attention as he was wrapping up the wound and he tried hard to keep calm even as he felt his heart race.
Calm down. I can handle it.
He tried to soothe Hulk as much as himself, his uneasiness growing as the yelling came closer. It was also dari and he didn’t really understand but he could figure out that they were looking for someone.Then a word reached his ears, one that didn’t need any translation and he froze in terror as the door to the house he was in slammed open.Doctor.They were looking for him.He quickly jumped to his feet, trying to block the woman a bit, raising his hands in surrender. The situation in which they found him spoke for itself and his complexion revealed what wasn’t already obvious. They didn’t ask any questions, they didn’t need to. Two of them just came forward, grabbing Bruce roughly and jerking his hands behind his back, tying them tightly as someone else threw a sack on his head.He didn’t protest, didn’t say a word.He accepted his fate and focused on controlling his heartbeat and not letting the other guy out. They needed him alive, he kept telling himself. They needed him alive, at least for now. There was no need for a green intervention. Hopefully. Not yet.He was roughly thrown into the back-seat of a car, rather high up, probably a military truck.Bruce was not below admitting to himself that he was terrified. He was thrown out of the car, stumbling on the uneven, sandy surface, heat almost worse outside. He was led inside somewhere with uneven ground and swirled corridors, some natural cave system, he assumed, as it got colder, and after a few minute walk someone untied his hands, jerking the sack from his head.„Save him.”Bruce’s breath caught. Laying on an old wooden table was a man who looked half dead, his chest a mess of blood and metal. A frail body of a woman sat by his side, shaking with sobs as she looked at Bruce. His eyes screamed at her, stay silent, and she understood.
Mamma. Tony.
And Tony’s chest... its state... God, he wasn’t even sure he could do this. He had to.„He’s a dead man walking... but I’m going to do everything I can.”He was going to save his brother. He didn’t know how yet but he would.***„Brucie... My baby.”Maria was cradling her hands through Bruce’s hair, the feeling so familiar and comforting it made Bruce want to cry. Tony still laid on the table in front of them, motionless, his breathing shallow but steady, chest bandaged around the metal contraption Bruce put in there to save his life.„I’m sorry, mamma.”„What happened, baby bear? We all thought we lost you. We grieved and mourned you. Betty said you saved her but wouldn’t tell us anything more. Her father issued an official note that you didn’t survive an explosion and we never really heard from her again. Tony even tried hacking into the data on the project you were working on but he found nothing.”Bruce sighed, burying his face deeper in Maria’s chest.„It’s a sad story, mamma. Sad and complicated. I was just trying to protect you. You were better off without me near.”„We are never better without you, Brucie. We are lost. You are a part of this family and when you come back with us, everything will be okay again. We’ll be whole again.”„I wish, mamma. I wish.”„I promise you.”And Bruce didn’t speak up because he didn’t want to be the realist but he knew all too well Maria couldn’t really make this promise. He settled on watching Tony’s chest shallowly rise instead, rejoicing in every single fragile breath that meant his brother was still alive.They were alive, and together again, almost all of them. They would get out of it or die trying. Together.***When Tony woke up, he didn’t have time to process where he was. He wasn’t sure if this was the first time he woke up either. He had a vague recollection of voices, but no idea what they meant or what were they saying.It was almost as if they were coming from underwater.No, wait.He was the one underwater.He gasped, trying to catch the precious air, choking on nothing, but then he was back in the water, and it was cold and murky and it got in his nose and oh god, his lungs burned and he needed out, up, help -- he pushed up, struggled against the hold they had on him, whoever they were, but the arms holding him down didn’t budge, strong like metal.Where was he?What did they want?
Jericho.
He remembered... he remembered...He was back underwater, his supply of air seemingly smaller every time, and it was too much, it was cold and burning and quiet and loud and the hand was stone-cold metal, completely unmoving as he pushed against it with all his strength, the grip unyielding and painful on the back of his neck.He wondered if it would bruise. He was back up, gasping for air, and they were quiet. They didn’t ask him to build the Jericho anymore, they didn’t care for the answer. They’d get what they want - this was just to show him they weren’t afraid to break him to get it.Water.Air.Water.Water...Air?Air.Please. Air.He coughed. He may have vomited, but his grasp on what was happening was fragile. He thought he saw a hand made of actual metal, and wondered how it worked. What made it tick? How was it constructed? But maybe it was just a hallucination, oxygen deprived mind not making sense of what was happening.He never got a better look. They threw a scratchy sack on his head and forced him to his feet, dragged him out when he stumbled.They led him through the caves and all he could think about was that this was bad - it was a large and complex system and his brain was in no condition to map it. His hands were still tied behind his back but he realized there were wires leading from his chest to a car battery one of the terrorists was carrying.And if that wasn’t a disturbing realization, he didn’t know what was.“Bambino!”Oh God. That voice. She was alive. And with that realization, Tony stopped holding his tears back, allowing himself to fall, darkness dancing in his vision as his head hit the floor, a vague recollection of another familiar voice floating in his subconsciousness.But it couldn’t be, could it?He shouldn’t allow himself foolish hope.But it sounded almost like...
Bruce?
When Tony woke up, Bruce wasn’t there. Neither was his mother. He hoped she was alive, that it wasn’t a dream, or that this entire place was a dream, but then his body ached in a way that felt all too real. His chest was on fire and every breath was painful. His hand flew to the badges, but he stopped himself from messing with them, trying to take a deep breath and assess the situation first.Bad idea.Deep breaths were a very bad idea. It felt like there was something in his chest, his ribs and lungs rattling against it, and when he gingerly moved his hand back he was met with something hard and cold. Metal. He lifted himself up, with difficulty, and moved the bandage a bit to see it. A magnet, by the looks of it - electromagnet powered by a car battery attached to him with old cables.Oh God.He was a dead man walking.The door opened suddenly, with a loud bang, and Tony felt his heart jump in surprise. His mother was thrown back into the room but before he could say a word he was grabbed on both sides by the man who held her before and dragged outside, another man led in front of him and Tony focused his gaze on him. The tweed jacket was certainly a choice but that posture, those curls... They were dragged outside, put side by side, and even before his vision adjusted to the bright sun the man spoke up, confirming that Tony didn’t just have delusional dreams.„He wants to know what you think.”Bruce.The unmistakable voice of his brother, and Tony would cry, but suddenly he was just angry and confused and wanted to know why did this have to happen, why did he have to grieve, why did they have to go through all of this if Bruce wasn’t dead after all...„I think that you--”„--about the weapons. He wants to know what you think about the weapons.” Bruce said, his tone careful but forceful and Tony didn’t forget self-preservation completely, didn’t forget the way they could always understand each other without words or how Bruce taught him there’s a place and time for everything, and when it isn’t.„I think he has a lot of them.” He answered, because Bruce had a point. This wasn’t the time for family therapy session and one of them might understand english or even speak it, despite them using Bruce as a translator, and there was a fuck ton of crates here with Stark Industries stamp on them that made Tony feel sick in a way even the car battery he was holding didn’t.One of the man, presumably the guy in charge, was grinning at Tony in a way that made him feel like he was dinner and speaking, waiting for Bruce to translate.„He says they have everything you need to build the Jericho missile. He wants you to make the list of materials. He says for you to start working immediately, and when you're done, he will set you free.”The man offered him a hand and Tony shook it with a weak smile.„No, he won’t.”„No, he won’t.” Bruce agreed. This time around, when he was thrown back into the cell, Bruce was left there with him, and Tony put the car battery down, turned around to face him, wanting to cry to scream, to bunch him, but then Bruce was right in front of him, the face so familiar but so different, the eyes slightly watery, and every issue Tony had evaporated, because what the fuck did it matter what happened?Bruce was alive.Tony fell into his brother’s arms and promised himself that this time, he was never going to let go.