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University hall has always been a crowded place to be, but today seemed special by all means, with the bright dressed girls and laughs, loud teacher's announcements and omnipresent pink decorations. It was that time of the year, Erik remembered."And don't forget to sign you card before sending! Surprise your special someone right now, in our love box"Erik barely has strength not to roll his eyes when he hears this joyful voice coming from Moira Mactaggert."Lensherr, do you want to participate? I can give you one for free" she says, raising her eyebrow.The posh kids, he thinks and looks at her blankly. They know how to make everything a big deal.He wondered that would they do if they really loved somebody, not just for show."Moira! I was looking for you!" another expressive voice said, and Erik didn't have a need to look to know who it was.Xavier. The loudest voice of their faculty, its eyes and ears. Erik looks unimpressed when he sees light-purple sweater the guy wears, his hair resembles Prince Charming's hairstyle as usual."Moira, we need to put the posters up and…" he stops, noticing Erik near. "What's going on?""I was just telling him to get involved in our love box offer""Nothing" Erik mutters at the same time, avoiding looking at the 'golden boy'."Ah, nothing?""You need to be told twice, Xavier?"Moira darts her eyes between them, knowing that she started another fight accidentally. But she shouldn't blame herself, those boys would've find the subject anyway, just put them in one room."I'm not, but maybe that's because English is my first language"Erik rolls his eyes finally."That doesn't stop you from using it wrong""I beg your pardon?""You should use it less when you have nothing to say"It goes back to last week's debates, Moira figures."Well, my apologies that I said at least one word in your direction, it won't happen again"Erik looks at him expectantly, because he's sure that Charles can't be silent for at least a minute."And" Charles adds to the sharpness of Erik's smirk, "You should really grab one of those, it will mean that you do have a heart. Even if the paper one""My apologies, then, that I haven't got you your paper crown"Charles is about to comment on it, but he closes his mouth immediately as Sebastian Shaw approaches."Lensherr, come on" he says, hugging Erik's shoulders. "Emma waits for us forever, where the fuck were you?" Maybe I didn't want you to find me, Erik thinks bitterly."I was just getting shit we'll need""Sure thing you did. Well, now that you've got it, let's go"Erik doesn't spare a glance with Charles as he rushes to go and do what he should before the classes.***Erik walked slowly through empty halls. The class started couple minutes ago, and he knew he was already late. It wasn't like he cared much. His professor was mutofobic for all he knew. He always commented negatively when Erik used his mutation so he could clearly fuck himself for today."Lensherr?" familiar voice calls out and Erik turns around to see those irritating blue eyes.He silently questions him what he wants."The lecture has started, you shouldn't just hang around the halls now" Charles says kindly but determined."Oh? I shouldn't?""Clearly"Erik almost feels Charles' cheeks go a shade pinker as he observes him slowly from head to toes."You neither""I have an exemption today""Oh?" Erik's eyes returns on Charles' face."I do some work before the auction""What auction?""The one that you can buy whatever's date you want. Of course only single people are in deal. We want no drama, just to have fun tonight"Charles silently returns his gaze to Erik's eyes too."I know, it may sound dull" with all that weed, Emma and everything that surrounds you, Charles wants to add but doesn't."It sounds like something you'd like" Erik returns almost smiling, which comes off wrong and he knows it."Something I'd like?" Charles says, irritated. "You have no idea what I'd like""Of course I don't"Erik comes closer, forcing Charles either accept the challenge or back off. He doesn't move."Or maybe I do. You like spending time with your friends, you like your girlfriend, you like your normal life""Here we go again""Yes, again""Can you not? Just because I'm not a mutant doesn't make me less of a human""That's not how it works""How it works then? Enlighten me, because I'm just a stupid, stupid bastard due to your precious mindset""Don't play dump, Xavier" Erik says with heat. "How could you vote for integrity? You can be a puppy and still know that it will be no good for both sides""I genuinely think that you're overreacting"Erik shakes his head."Just the fact that it doesn't deal with you directly doesn't mean that you should ruin somebody else's life""I'm not ruining anything!""You are the head of student's council!""Still it's not like I making a mistake trusting people""You can trust whatever the fuck you want, just don't make a decision of a matter that doesn't concern you"Charles remains silent for a while. He doesn't want another conflict in despite of his previous behavior. He doesn't want enemies here, especially the ones who can manipulate metal fields."Erik, if the destiny of your kind concerns you so much...you can join a council yourself""And how the fuck can I do this?" Erik answers bitterly. "They don't accept mutants and you know it""That's not true""Then why didn't they accept Alex? Why didn't they accept Azazel?""They weren't accepted because of their discipline issues, not their mutant side""Oh? So that's why you are the leader? Because of a good discipline? Or maybe because your father paid that much that they can put you into fucking professor's position?"Charles shakes his head, tired."You are wrong""I don't think I am""That's your right" Charles looks at his shoes unsure."But" he continues, "You are so wrong""That's ok, I know, that I'm always on the wrong. Maybe that's just who I am. Enjoy your victory, Xavier. Just tell me when I shouldn't come here because of your integration friends""That won't happen""We both know it will. Firstly they make a list, then they make a mark. Like this" Erik puts up the sleeve, showing his familiar numbers.Charles is breathless for a while. He doesn't know what to say. What words can even be suitable in situation like this."I'm...I'm...""Don't" Erik cuts off roughly. "I'm not here to listen to your apologies"Blue eyes stares directly, like Charles wants to say something but he can't find the words to."I didn't realize""You couldn't realize that" Erik looks at his forearm too. "And it doesn't even hurt anymore, it's been a long time and it doesn't matter now" Erik says, almost feeling the needle in his little forearm back then. He was so scared then that his teeth were clasping.Something clicks in Charles' mind and he says: "No, please no"He starts walking fast, his lean legs almost runs so Erik runs after him despite his desire not to. He sees how crazy Charles' eyes become so he just complies without asking, following him to the restrooms."The door"Charles looks for something on the floor, and Erik quickly shuts the door."Why are we here?" Erik demands.Charles doesn't answer, moving around madly."What do you need?""A needle, a needle, a needle" he whispers. "Are you serious?"Erik is surprised even if he doesn't seem like it, handing him a knife that he suitably has Erik doesn't even know why."Everything will be ok" Charles pleads.He sees Charles rolling up his sleeve and revealing his pale virgin skin. That reminded him of the time he didn't have his mark. The night when the soldiers came to take him."Stop it" Erik says finally."I can't, I'm so afraid""You don't know what you're doing""They will kill me if you don't do this, will they?"Charles is about to do this, even if his hands are trembling and he can't look at his hand. His eyes waters a bit when he puts the knife to his pale green veins. His eyes looks past Erik, like he wasn't even here."Xavier" Erik says as a warning. "Stop it""I am so afraid"Charles doesn't look at him, pushing the blade. Erik almost feels it too, but it wasn't the knife on his case, the knife didn't leave ink. He pictured the way he cried when the needle impaled him and Charles shut his wet eyes too."The fuck, Xavier?" Erik quickly pushes out the knife a little too late, the blade has already made a bloody mark right above the veins.Charles slowly sinks to his knees. His hand is bleeding and Erik can't understand a thing now. He remembers how he shut his eyes not to cry, not to see his mother who was marked too."The fuck you did, Xavier? Are you insane?" he cries out, stepping closer."It's ok" Charles whispers, whimpering. "It's ok"His hand is covered in blood as he holds it with another one."Charles, what are you...""Nächste, du bist frei" he whispers and Erik freezes.Charles pushes his head up, meeting Erik's eyes."The procedure is done"Erik steps back. "What the hell?""The door where they measured your skull was next"Erik felt sickness in his stomach."I don't understand""I saw it" Charles tells him weakly. "I saw it myself, like I was there. Like I was you, Erik""It's impossible"Charles cries in pain, grabbing his head in both hands. "Fuck""Charles?"
What if Xavier lost his mind? What should he do?
"Shut up" he says desperately. "Just shut up. Stop it, Erik, please. Please, stop it, Erik""I'm not saying a word""I didn't lose - fuck - I didn't lose my mind. My head, fuck""Hey, no" Erik groaned. "Not so loud""What?""My head. You are too loud""What are you talking about?""Charles" Erik tries to call, his eyebrows knitted together in concern.He comes closer, putting his hand on Charles' torso. His abdominal muscles are so tight, he thinks absent-mindedly."Thank you, but the moment is not ideal" Charles points out weakly as he rests his not injured hand on Erik's chest gently."Sit down slowly" Erik gives an instruction as he hears a sob. "Breathe in""What's happening, Erik?""I'm not sure. Maybe I was wrong about you. I think you are a mutant after all"
No I'm not.
"Charles, you said it in my head""Did I?""Yes. Just close your mouth""Close your mouth yourself" he hisses."Close your mouth and try to say something to me"
It's impossible, you dumb fucker.
"Hey, I didn't know you were so rude. Or maybe you were in my head for too long. Anyways, it happens to be completely possible""I'm not a mutant. I can't be" Charles says through his clasping teeth.Erik tries to stop his blood, pressing hard on his hand."Shit, Erik""I'm sorry but there is no other way""You can always leave me. You don't have to be here"
How can I leave you here? I'm not a monster.
"It won't make you one""How can you be sure?"Charles projects the face of the soldiers he saw in Erik's head before. "Only they are""I still can't believe you saw it. Telepathy is considered to be dangerous in our society, isn't it?""Am I dangerous now?" Charles smiles weakly out of the sudden."You are" Erik says not sure what Charles is so happy about."So now I can wear leather too and hang out with Emma and you"Erik smiles widely in return. "I don't think that leather will go good with your image"
The image of 'golden boy'.
"Wait" Erik says immediately. "I didn't mean it that way"Charles raises his eyebrows. "What way can it be?" his good mood is suddenly interrupted with the voices. Multiple voices in his head. "Oh" he hisses. "It can't be possible""What? What is it?""I hear Logan walking up here, thinking that he should check who's here during lectures""Quickly" Erik reacts, trying to put Charles up. "Here" he says, dragging him and closing the door to the stall behind them.The door to the restroom swings open in a few seconds, heavy steps come in.Charles smiles because he was right. Don't be so smug about it, Erik thinks in his direction. And fuck, don't smile in such a way.
In what way?
Erik is suddenly super aware of them standing impossibly close.Charles bites his lip, smiling again. He looks tired but suddenly beautiful as Erik can identify. Even more beautiful than he was, when he shouted at him at last week's debates.
What does he want? Is he teasing me? Does he know how much do I want to kiss him?
Charles' eyes immediately go wide.
You do?
Stay out of my head, Xavier.
I prefer 'Charles'.
They hear the door being shut again and Erik steps away."I need to go. Don't tell anyone" he says, storming out."No, don't go, Erik" he pleads. "I don't know what to do""Just try to calm down""You calm me down" he shoots back immediately. Erik comes closer, carefully racing his arm to touch Charles' cheek."Just calm your mind" he says."How can I-" Charles stops. "How can I calm my mind if all I hear is yours?""You hear it wrong. Don't make it a big deal. I'm not good for you. You should calm down, find Moira and never speak to me again. Do you understand?"Charles nods."I won't" he says, conforming.
***
Erik is half-heartedly listening to something Mr. McCoy is trying to explain. He hears the delicate knocks on the door and wants to kill either himself or the boy, who smiles so shamelessly."Good evening, professor" Charles says softly. "Sorry I'm late""Sure, come in"He goes, slowly working his strut and Erik literally face palms. What is he doing here, it's not even his course?"Is the sit vacant?" Charles whispers and sits down. His hand is in a bandage and he took enough of medication to be here and not in the emergency room. Charles, Erik growls in his head.
Yes?
"Excuse me" he whispers in real life, "Can I borrow your notes?""No, it's not in English" Erik grits back."I'm sure I'll manage"They work for a while, when Charles suddenly projects: so, what about kissing me? Erik's eyebrows hits the temple, when he writes down the formula."Is everything ok?" Mr. McCoy asks curiously."Yeah, no problem, professor" Charles answers.
What about it?
Maybe I should've make a kiss booth for today. That would've been romantic: you, standing there, nervous but excited. I could've given you some discount.
Erik looks at him quickly. You irritate me, Xavier, big times.
Or maybe you can go buy the evening in my lovely company on the auction. Will you be there, by the way? I'd rather you being there.
I'd rather choke myself.
"I'm sorry, do you have a pen?""I do" says Emma from behind.
"Thank you"
Hey, Erik?
What?
Can she hear us now? She's telepath, too, isn't she?
No she can't.
What makes you so sure?
Because we had a deal ages ago: she doesn't eavesdrop, and I stay away from her love life. Not that I needed you to know about that.
Charles puts his hand palm down near Erik's.
If you push it closer I'll cut it off the next time I see you.
Oh? Are those your plans? And what about those?
Charles briefly projects how his kiss must've felt if Erik had been brave enough.
I'm brave enough. You're making yourself ridiculous just now. What has got into you? I thought you were timid.
You don't know me, Erik.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, what was his last phrase?"Erik repeats McCoy's words quietly."Thank you" Charles says, slightly touching Erik's hand with his finger.Erik moves on the chair in discomfort. Professor announces five minutes break, saving him, and Erik rushes to go. He feels Charles' mind near him anyway, so he goes straight to the restroom. As soon as the door closes behind them, Erik pushes Charles to it."The fuck is going on, Charles? The fact that you're a telepath doesn't mean you need to be so excessive" Erik whispers angrily. "You can't just crash my mind whatever you want, I feel you there""I'm sorry" Charles says with a hint of shame. "I thought it was funny. I didn't mean to be that way, it's just that you're the only one who knows about me""Oh, was it? Ok, is it funny to you, too?" Erik clarifies before he crushes their lips together and his mind goes blank.He only feels warmth and hears Charles thinking oh god oh god fuck oh my godCharles carefully guides Erik through it, moving his lips slowly. He puts his hand to Erik's hair, admiring how soft they are compared to what he thought they'd be. Fuck, Xavier Erik moans and Charles puts his tongue to Erik's, feeling warmth in his abdomen. Grab me he thinks, and Erik complies, holding his hip tightly.They separate as somebody knocks on the door they lean on."Sorry, I'll leave you alone" Charles whispers and combs his hair.He sees Sebastian going in and stops in his tracks."Can I help you?" Shaw asks in the mocking manner."Yes"
What are you doing?
Reconsidering, Charles thinks quietly. "I want to join""To join what exactly?""The Brotherhood"Sebastian raises his eyebrow at that."What makes you think you can?"He's doing it for me, Erik thinks bitterly. And I'd rather him don't
I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this because
"I'm a mutant. A telepath. If you're interested"Erik looks at his feet. He doesn't know what he's doing, he only acts out, this stupid puppy.Charles looks at him disappointed.
I'm sorry, but I'll stand my ground. I want to join.
"Oh, that is really interesting. What about you, Lensherr? Will you allow this to happen, I wonder? Considering" Sebastian gestures somewhere between them.
A mutation, a kiss and the Brotherhood already - you don't waste time, Charles.
As I said before, you know nothing about me.
Should I care to know?
It won't change that I want to be a member, so please, answer before Shaw thinks we brain-fuck right now.
"I don't know. We already have Emma. One telepath is enough" Erik says calmly."It's your choice, but as far as I remember, Emma is not in the student's council, I am""So what? Did you suddenly change your mind?""I don't change my mind suddenly. I just want to help""Show us what you can do, and we will consider you joining in" Sebastian claims with his eyes glimmering in joy. He loves a good show.Charles nods. You'll see, he says only to Erik's mind.***"So what exactly are we doing here?" Emma asks as they goes in."Yeah, Erik, what do you need here?""Just having fun, I guess" Erik says calmly. He didn't know either what he was doing here, but he couldn't miss it. Charles was there somewhere, Charles was waiting for him somewhere, because Erik felt it right in his head. He felt it as if Charles was whispering directly into his ear.So when the time comes, Erik shouts out the highest bet when he sees Xavier. Moira tries to be a good sport, so he just raises the price himself. Charles really costs this much, he thinks bitterly. Even in his stupid purple shirt, even with his smirk. Erik wanted to kiss him long before he knew about his mutation, he wanted his mind before Charles dissolved in his."Sold!" someone has shouted and Erik sits down to everybody's whispers. He wasn't insuch a spot even when he threw Logan's car on the roof one time.Charles rushes to him, hugging Erik tightly and saying: "You shouldn't pay this much. I'd go with you anyways""Xavier?" Moira shouts surprised."My name is Charles" he says strictly mostly to Erik."Charles" he repeats, looking at him happily.Now I won't forget it, Erik thinks when he kisses the smile off Xavier's face.